Tag Archives: Fiona Apple

September 4, 2024 – Lucky Sees a Familiar Face, Lois’s Coach, Branching Out, This Week’s Listings, Showing For Andy, Real Bluestone, NJ’s Own, Fake At the Shore, New Dance, Introduction & Pale

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts, recaps, and the whole GH enchilada on Fridays)

General Hospital

Curtis sits in Drew’s office, and Drew tells him that Larry McConkey died. Curtis says he saw it on the news. He’s sorry. He knows they were getting close. Drew says, that’s not all that happened today.

Michael and Willow go into the bedroom, and he asks if she’s okay. She says she’s a little shaky, and he says, it’s been a helluva day. Name it, and he’s at her service. She says, what she needs is sleep, but she appreciates him looking out for her. He says he’s her husband. It comes with the territory.

Brick meets Jordan at the Surf Lodge, and she thanks him for coming. He says he knew she’d call eventually, and she asks if he’s that irresistible. He says, her words, not his, and she says she definitely owes him a date. He says, this isn’t it? and she says, this is her asking for a favor.

Lucky is brought to Sidwell, and says he thought Sidwell turned in. Sidwell says he has a touch of insomnia, and he tells the guard to take Lucky’s handcuffs off. He takes it that Lucky is a gambling man, and Lucky says, it runs in the family. Sidwell says, perfect. Deal.

Mac tells Robert, merry Christmas, and Robert says, it’s September. Mac tosses a file on his desk and says he’s early. There was a murder at the Quartermaine mansion. Robert asks if the perp is in the file, and Mac says, there are plenty of suspects, half of Port Charles. But there’s one at the head of the pack. Robert smiles.

At the station, Diane asks Anna if her client is inside, and Anna asks if she doesn’t mean clients. Diane goes into the interrogation room and sees Jason and Ava. She says she’d like a word with her client and his plus one, and Anna leaves. She says she takes it Ava has her own counsel, but Jason says he needs her to help them both tonight.

Sonny tells Carly to make herself at home in the penthouse, but she says she’s not staying. He says, the cops will be here this morning. They have to get their story straight. She says she knows where she was when John Cates was murdered. Where was he?

Sidwell says, they have to agree on the stakes, and Lucky says, if he wins, he goes free. Sidwell says, how about if he wins, he stays alive? If he loses, he dies. He was going to kill Lucky anyway. Lucky says, shall we? and deals.

Brick looks at a photo on his phone and asks Jordan, who is this? She says she was hoping he could help find out. He’s a John Doe who was the victim of a hit and run. He’s at GH, unconscious, and no ID. The police are running his prints, but there’s nothing yet. He says, she thinks he can make the guy’s ID, and she says she’s sure of it, but he says, fingerprints and a photo aren’t a lot to go on. She says she knows she’s asking a lot and he’s busy, but he says, that’s not it. By the time he tracks the ID down, the guy could wake up and tell them who he is. She says, that’s why she appreciates him getting started on the search, and he says, anything for her, but there’s a price.

Sonny says, all that matters is that Jagger is dead. Jagger can’t come after Kristina or anybody he cares about anymore. Carly says, so when someone was killing Cates, he was supposed to be with her, and he says he appreciated her having his back. She says she doesn’t appreciate him implying they were having a tryst. They’re divorced, separated. Now he’s dragged her into the middle of a murder. Why? He says, after everything they’ve been through, he still trusts her with his life.

Ava tells Diane that she was unable to reach her lawyer. He’s been incommunicado for some time. Frankly, she’s worried. Diane says, about him or her? and Ava says, both. She was hoping not to involve lawyers, but Jason wouldn’t say a word without her. Diane says, that’s why he’s her favorite client. Why did Ava think they don’t need an attorney when they’re at the police station? Ava says, they did nothing wrong. Boyle was going to kill her, and Jason stopped her. Diane says she’s on retainer with Jason, but Jason says he’d appreciate her helping Ava too. Diane asks, why? and he says, they can both prove everything they’re saying is true.  

Robert says, so Cates is dead, and Sonny is the number one suspect, and Mac says, Robin is going to take it hard. He’ll call her and be the bad cop on this one. Robert asks if that makes him the good cop, but Mac says, it makes him the father. Robert says, Cates basically lost his way, and Mac says, that’s a nice way to put it. He’s been torturing Kristina and there was nothing they could do about it. (Calling the FBI might have been an option. <heaving Jason sigh>). Robert says, so Sonny has motive, and Mac says, and plenty of opportunity.

Kristina comes downstairs and calls for Alexis, but there’s no answer. She checks her bag, and the gun isn’t there. She rifles through her stuff.

Willow says, there’s something she wants to tell Michael. When Drew first got the news about McConkey’s death, he was very upset, and it dredged up feelings about Alan and him never having had a father figure. It brought out a side of Drew she’s never seen before. Michael’s phone rings, and he says, if it’s important, they’ll call back. Willow says, Drew was so upset, she wanted to comfort him, when… Michael’s phone rings again, and he looks at it. He says, it’s Kristina again, and she says, he should answer it. Kristina tells Michael that he needs to come here right now, but he says he can’t. She says, it’s bad, and he asks, how bad? She says she’s missing a gun.

Carly says, if Sonny trusts her, why did he blindside her with this? Why did he mess up the bed and make everyone believe they had sex? She can account for her whereabouts. Why should she believe him? He tells her that if he admits it, they don’t have spousal privilege. He can’t tell her the details unless she’s willing to marry him again.  

Michael goes to see Kristina, and she tells him that she had a gun and now it’s gone. He says, whose gun and what was she doing with it? She says she had it in her bag, and now it’s gone, and he asks if it’s possible her mom found it. She says she hopes so.

Alexis is on the footbridge with her phone and tells Diane to pick up. She wonders where Diane is and leaves a message for Diane to call her back. Her client may or may not have violated bail. She’ll give Diane five minutes. If she doesn’t call, Alexis will have to make the decision herself. She cries and says, please call back.

Ava says, Cates insisted she amend her statement and say Kristina tried to kill her, and Anna says, she appeared to be speaking of her free will, but Ava says she was coerced. Cates wanted leverage against Sonny. He knew she had reservations, and he was afraid she’d recant. He put her in a hotel room with Agent Boyle and made her believe she was in protective custody. She found a wad of cash in Boyle’s bag and knew she wasn’t an agent. Anna asks why she thinks Cates would mislead her about Boyle, and Ava says she became a liability. Boyle put her in a car and headed for the Pine Barrens. She fought Boyle for the wheel, the car swerved, and Boyle hit someone, but she didn’t stop. They reached the Pine Barrens, and she thinks Jason can take it from there. Jason says he called 911 about the guy that was hit and found Ava and Boyle not far from the car. He disarmed Boyle and called the cops. Anna says, that’s it? and he says, that’s all there is.

Drew tells Curtis that when he got the news about McConkey, it shook him up. He started thinking about his father and how he never knew him and never had a father figure. Emotions came up. Willow was there and she was there for him. Curtis asks, when Drew says she was there for him… Drew says, they kissed.

Alexis paces the bridge, crying and hyperventilating. She holds the gun.  

Carly says she wants to be clear. She’s not marrying Sonny again. He says, that’s settled, but she says, it’s not. They’re still dealing with a federal murder investigation. He says, they’re coming after him and not using his daughter. He’ll be in the crosshairs, no one else. She says, except his alibi is her, and he says, sorry. He has to admit, working together seemed like old times.

Mac tells Robert that he took statements from the Quartermaine family and others present, including the staff. Sonny might be hard to nail down. Cody was in the stable within earshot and didn’t hear anything. Robert says, a silencer used on a stormy night would be hard to hear, and Mac asks what he thinks. Robert says, it took Cody a year to come to Mac and tell him that he was Cody’s father. That hardly makes him a reliable witness.

Jordan asks, what’s the cost? and Brick says, just answer a question. Why is it important? Jordan says, if the guy has a family, they need to know, and Brick says, that’s part of it, but not all of it. She says, the way he was injured got to her. He ran out in front of a car on a road with almost no traffic. He asks if she thinks he was being chased, and she says, yeah. He says, she misses being an investigator, and she says, sometimes. He asks if she ever thinks of going back to police work, and she says, sometimes. Does he think of going back to what he did before? He asks how she knows what he did, and she says she doesn’t. He never told her.

Lucky asks what’s keeping Sidwell up, and Sidwell asks if Lucky cares about his well-being. Lucky says, no. It’s a distraction tactic. Sidwell says, there’s only one reason that costs him sleep – women. In this case, an exceptional one. They met at the tables in Monte Carlo. She has beauty, charm, and elegance. The kind of woman you never forget. Lucky flashes back to dancing with Elizabeth, and says he’s been there. Sidwell asks if he’s thinking about his own lady, and Lucky says, he doubts she’d fit in at Monte Carly, but she is a beauty. What he’d call a winner. Sidwell says, like this? and lays down his hand. Lucky says, more like this, and lays down his.

Diane says, Jason has put her in quite a pickle, having to defend Ava this time, and Jason says, Ava is innocent – this time, and Ava thanks him and Diane. Anna comes in and Ava asks, what happens after she leaves here tonight? Cates isn’t going to stop until she’s dead. Anna says she doesn’t think Ava has to worry about that anymore.

Drew says he feels awful. Michael is his nephew, and Willow is his wife and the mother of his kids. He doesn’t know how to fix the position he’s put her in. Curtis says, all they did was kiss? and Drew says, yes. Curtis says, chalk it up to an emotional moment that got out of hand, but Drew says, it’s more than that. He and Willow have been getting closer and there’s an attraction that’s only getting stronger.

Willow picks up her and Michael’s wedding picture, looks at it, and cries.

Michael tells Kristina to start at the beginning. Where did she get the gun? She says, it was dad’s. She let herself into the penthouse and took it. Then she went to her daughter’s grave. She doesn’t know. Maybe it fell out of her bag, but she has no idea where it is. Michael says, she needs to tell him why she needed it, and she says, to get justice.

Alexis stands on the bridge and takes out her phone again. She sees Diane hasn’t called, and says, time’s up. She puts her phone back in her bag and hears footsteps. She throws the gun in the water, and Ric and Elizabeth walk onto the bridge eating ice cream.

Michael asks if Kristina used the gun to shoot somebody, and she says, no, but she wanted to. Two people, Ava and Cates. She knew Cates was at the Quartermaines. She heard him telling Anna when he arrested her again. He was charging her with killing her baby. It was so cruel. Michael says, Agent Cates is dead.  

Alexis says, they startled her. She didn’t expect to see them here. Look at Ric. He has two of three of his ex-wives with him on the bridge. Ric says, small world. What brings Alexis out here? Alexis says, she was feeling stressed and wanted some fresh air and a walk. Ric says, they witnessed her littering, and Alexis says, they caught her. Her phone wasn’t working. She got frustrated and tossed it. She wishes she hadn’t. Elizabeth says, here’s hoping a new phone is better, and Alexis says, she’d better go get one and their ice cream is melting. Enjoy their walk. She leaves, and they both look in the water. Rick asks if it looked like a phone, and Elizabeth says, no. It was definitely a gun.

Mac tells Robert that Cody lied, and it was wrong. It wasn’t the best way to start off, but life is too short to hold a grudge against family. Cody saved James’s life too, so there’s that. Robert says, it’s a good thing he gave Cody a second chance, and Mac says, how about Robert? Robert asks why he should care, and Mac says, Robert was never one to cast stones. One of his two great loves had a very colorful past.

Anna tells Ava and Jason that Cates is dead. He was shot at the Quartermaine boathouse. Ava says, good riddance. He was going to have that woman kill her. Anna says, a team checked into Boyle. It’s not her real name, and she’s not affiliated with the FBI or any law enforcement. She has a checkered past, but they’ve corroborated everything Ava and Jason said. They’re both free to go. Ava thanks everybody, and leaves, but Anna says she’d like a word with Jason. Diane asks if she should stay, but Jason says, it’s fine. Diane says she was afraid he’d say that and leaves. Anna says she’s proud of Jason, and he asks, what for? She says, he called the police, and he says, it made more sense than the alternative. She says, while he’s here, what can he tell her about the murder of Special Agent Cates?

Jason says, Anna knew Cates was dead all along, and she asks if she needs to bring Diane back, but he says it’s not necessary. He doesn’t know anything about Cates. She says, what they both know is Cates went bad. There’s nothing worse than an officer of the law using the power of his badge to settle personal scores. A lot of people in this town wanted him dead. He and Sonny are at the top of the list. Jason says he couldn’t have done it, and she says, as a suspect, Jason is in the clear. Sonny is not.  

Carly says, they’re going to be grilled about their alibi at some point, and Sonny says, they need to get their one-night stand story down. She asks how he seduced her this time, and he says he thinks they should say they were at the mansion. No one was there. They saw each other and things started to heat up. She laughs and says, please. That’s a terrible story and totally unbelievable. He asks if she wants rose petals and soft music. Does she think she can do better? Be his guest. She says, they saw each other here in the morning when she dropped off the girls. It felt better being around each other than it had in a long time. They ran into each other at the Quartermaines. Sonny likes the incorporating timeline, and she says she walked him outside. They were talking and got caught in the rain. She brought him upstairs to dry off and they kissed. It was sweet and nostalgic, and they made love. Something like that. He says, yeah. He’s got to admit he likes her version better.

Curtis says, everyone makes mistakes. Drew and Willow are one of them. Drew says he feels like he’s taking advantage of Willow’s gratitude, and Curtis says, he saved Willow’s life and put his own life in danger bringing her donor back. He legitimately earned it. Drew says, he likes the way it makes him feel… and Curtis says, being someone’s hero? and Drew says, it sounds cringeworthy when Curtis says it. The truth is, he admires Willow as much as she admires him. Curtis says, now that they’ve both got the admiration out of their systems, they need to put a stop to this before it goes way too far. Drew says, before today, he might have agreed, but the kiss wasn’t just two people caught up in a moment of feelings. There are real feelings. He can’t deny it anymore.

Elizabeth wonders what Alexis was doing out here alone at night getting rid of a gun, and Rick says, it probably has something to do with one of her daughters. He’s hoping it’s not his. She says she doesn’t know, and he says, clearly, they saw something they shouldn’t. She asks what he suggests they do about it.

Kristina tells Michael that she didn’t do it. She wanted to, but she didn’t. She went to the grave instead. He says he believes her, and she asks if he’s sure Cates is dead. He says, yes, and she says, then it’s over.

Brick says he’s always worked in security, and Jordan says, thanks for filling her in. He sighs and says, the military first, then he was at a three-letter agency. He became disillusioned. Too much power in the wrong hands can be a dangerous thing. So he decided to freelance, choose who he wanted to work with and what methods he employed. He can always walk away if he doesn’t like it. She says, so he breaks the law but has a code, and he says, she’s half right. He has a code. He also has work to do if she wants her guy ID’d. Regrettably, he has to cut the evening short. Jordan says she’ll make it up to him, and he says, with a real date? She says, if that’s what he wants, and he asks if that’s what she wants. She says, yes. She really does. He says, then he’ll make it happen, kisses her on the cheek, and leaves.  

Lucky wins another hand, and Sidwell says, if he’s cheating, he can’t see it and he always sees it. Lucky says he has a little more to lose than Sidwell. Any chance they can change the stakes and play for his freedom? Sidwell says, the stakes say the same. They play until he wins and Lucky dies. Lucky says he would never have agreed to play, but Sidwell says, then Lucky would be dead, and he’d be awake and bored. This is more fun. Lucky says he hates to admit it, but sooner or later, he’s going to lose. It’s the odds. Sidwell says, then he’d better find a way to beat the odds.

Curtis says, feelings aren’t actions or betrayal, and they don’t make Drew a bad person, but Drew says he doesn’t feel like a good person. Willow is in pain because of him. Curtis says he’s sure Willow will forgive him, and Drew says, maybe she shouldn’t. She won’t forgive herself. Curtis says, maybe they should both forgive themselves and each other. Beating themselves up will only make it worse. Forget it every happened. Let it go. Drew says, one thing he can make sure of is acting on his feelings can’t happen again and it won’t happen again, ever.

Willow lies in bed, and Michael touches her face. He kisses her and they get busy. She imagines it’s Drew. She suddenly sits up, and sees that Michael’s side of the bed is empty.

Robert leaves a message for Holly and says he’s thinking of her. He hopes she’s staying out of trouble. Call him. Alexis comes in and says, they need to talk about Cates. He says he takes it she’s heard, and she says, Cates has been abusing her daughter. He’s prosecuting her and using her as a weapon in his obsession to take Sonny down. He says, Cates won’t be her problem anymore. He was shot dead tonight.

Kristina asks what Michael did when he found Cates, and Michael says he called Chase and waited for the police. Then Willow and Drew showed up. Willow was upset and shaking, so she and Drew went to the main house while he waited. Kristina says, so Cates was dead when Michael found him? and Michael says, yes. She says, he didn’t see who shot Cates? and he says, no. He had a lot of enemies. It could have been anyone.

Anna says, Sonny better have a good alibi, and Jason says, what about her? She’s not too broken up. She says she’s thankful Jason survived John Cates. Once upon a time, he was a good man, a good friend to Robin. She doesn’t know what happened, but whatever was worth saving was gone a long time ago. Nevertheless, he was an FBI agent and when they find the killer, they’ll go to prison for the rest of their life.

Sonny asks if Carly’s got everything straight, and she says, yes. She needs to get home. He says, if she stays, it will make the alibi stronger, and she says she hates that it makes sense. Okay, fine. She’ll stay in the guest room. Which one did Ava use? He says, the big one, and she says, the small one it is. She goes in the back, and he unlocks his gun box. He sees a gun missing and says, son of a bitch.

Sidwell asks what Lucky has, when the door opens. Sidwell says, if it isn’t the reason for his insomnia. A woman says, hello, darling. Is this poker? She loves poker. It’s how they met. Lucky tries to hide his expression upon seeing her, and she says, he must deal her in. We see it’s Holly, and Sidwell says, new hand. She sees at Lucky and also hides her reaction. She and Lucky look at one another.  

Tomorrow, Jordan tells Dante that she’s going to pursue every avenue of this investigation that she can think of; Ava asks if this is someone’s idea of a joke; Carly tells Sonny that she’s not taking this any further than she absolutely has to; and Kristina says, one down and one to go.

🧴 The Rain In Spain Stays Mainly On the Plane…

I’m hoping Lois comes to realize that her accent is part of her charm.

https://www.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital/snls-sarah-sherman-is-playing-robin-finch-on-general-hospital

🎭 His Other Endeavors…

Both of these look really good.

https://www.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital/a-sneak-peak-at-nicholas-chavez-in-his-two-new-shows

💰 This Week In LA…

JoshF, being a member of the Cultural Heritage Commission, said he appreciated a house with history, and checked out a Frank Lloyd Wright house that was beyond amazing. It had a hidden elevator that led to a tiki bar, theatre, and museum. We learned that hallways were wide in the old days because of the women’s dresses. He said the house was everything he stood for and represented.  

Tracy checked out a penthouse in a building where she’d sold most of the units, but the developers had decided to keep the penthouse as an investment property. Now they were looking to re-rent or sell it. In going through the apartment – which at 6000+ square feet, is bigger than my house – she found dog pee and poopy on the drapes. Seriously? Again, this just reenforces my theory that all the wrong people have the money.

JoshA showed friend Dr. Ben what he said was the quintessential Beverly Hills estate, with seven bedrooms and 11 baths and a world record for the biggest front door. I have a hard time finding wreaths for my slightly large door, so I can’t imagine. He said, they might as well put a bathroom at the property entrance, since people will sh*t themselves when they see it.

JoshF’s bestie Denise Richards did a cameo in his video for selling the abovementioned house. In his interview, he said, if he was straight, he’d be with Denise. The threesome in Wild Things had him confused. His dog George also made an appearance. No surprise, Denise was in love, and he said, George was dumb as rocks, but Denise told him, those are the nice dogs. Yep, like my Golden Retriever, the misnamed Einstein. He was the sweetest dog you’d ever meet, but literally afraid of his own shadow and as stupid as they come. When Josh’s video editor said Josh’s deadpan performance was not as spot-on as Josh thought, Josh said he was Bill Murray good, but… um… no.

After telling her mother that she was too tired to date – it was exhausting – Tracy went on a blind double-date with the Altmans and Dr. Ben, who she deemed an amalgam of all men in the LA dating pool. She told him that he’d either end up either alone or with shallow bitches until he was 50, and then still be alone. He said he had eight years, and she told him that he was the quintessential LA dude. And that’s not a compliment.

And after all that, I still don’t know what a splooge is.

Next time, the season finale.

🗽 And In Other Real Estate News…

Quick, let me give Ryan a call. I’m only $13,999,999 short.

🏰 Not Quite a Listing…

So she didn’t sell it after all. This is actually a great idea. Bluestone Manor is an amazing property and the Bravoverse misses Dorinda.

👠 The Real Jersey Devils…

The money comes, the money goes.

https://okmagazine.com/p/teresa-giudices-net-worth-real-housewife-new-jersey-made-lost-millions/

This dude helped her not at all. When awful joins up with more awful.

Yeah, I don’t remember her either.

https://okmagazine.com/p/penny-drossos-karagiorgis-rhonj-entire-cast-fired/

🤽‍♀️ Down the Shore…

It’s hardly shocking that the producers would be involved, but I’m surprised there were actual charges filed. I’m not a fan of this show, especially since I live in a Jersey shore town. The only person I’ve ever met who was even remotely like one of the Jersey Shore cast members, was also a raging alcoholic with several disorders. I tried watching this a few times. I’d stop watching, then watch again, remember why I stopped watching, and stop watching again. Yeah, yeah. I know the definition of crazy.

https://okmagazine.com/p/jersey-shore-nicole-snooki-polizzi-wheres-the-beach-scene-fakery-exposed/

🩰 Dance the Night Away…

I haven’t watched this since Mel B was a contestant, but it looks like an interesting mix.

https://ew.com/dancing-with-the-stars-season-33-cast-reveal-8706007

🐕 A New Burtka-Harris…

So very sad how one of their dogs passed away, but it’s wonderful that they were able to open their hearts to a new furbaby.

https://people.com/neil-patrick-harris-introduces-new-dog-bianca-8706480

🍂 Fall Has Unofficially Begun…

Join me tomorrow for soap and nine lemon tea in the OC. Until then, stay safe, stay remembering that first impressions do count, and stay not holding a grudge against family. Life is too short.

September 13, 2023 – Sonny Asks For Carly’s Help In Finding His Enemy, Another Amazing Vacation Wasted On Housewives, Who Is She & Imagination

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy stands on the stairs listening, and says, she’d know that car anywhere. She walks to the door saying, five, four, three, two, one, and opens it just as Lucy is about to knock. She says, what a surprise, and Lucy says, is it though? Is it really a surprise? She walks in, and Tracy says, we’ll see.

Chase brings Brook the phone she left in the bathroom, and she says, checking her social media while blow-drying her hair is a bad habit. He kisses her, and she says, this is a good habit. She’s tempted to suggest they call in sick for work, but she knows he’d never consider it. He says he won’t call in sick, but maybe he can show up a little late. He kisses her again and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Maxie, who asks if Brook is here.

Ava walks into the gallery where Mason is waiting, his perpetual lollypop in his mouth. She asks what he’s doing here. The gallery isn’t open. He says, the door was unlocked, and she says, the sign says closed. She has nothing to say to him. He tells her, shut up. She set them up. The boss is pissed and it’s not good.

Sonny tells Carly that he was just playing with Donna’s favorite doll. She’s making a parade or something. Carly says she heard all about it. A celebration for when daddy gets home. Let’s just say things haven’t been good in Donna’s doll world the last few days. She asks how he explained to Donna what happened, and he says he just told her the FBI made a mistake, he had to stay with the FBI until it was cleared up, and everything’s fine now. There’s nothing to worry about. She says, they both know that’s not true.

Dante calls Anna, and says he wants her to know he hasn’t forgotten about her. He’s just waiting on confirmation about something, and once he has it, she’ll be interested in seeing it for sure. He’ll talk to her soon. Sam comes in, and he asks if she had an early class. She says she did a little yoga, yes. She feels centered. He should try it sometime. He says, maybe he will, and kisses her. He says, seeing she’s centered, maybe it’s a good time to talk about what they’re going to do about their friends, the fugitives.

Cody wakes up and sees Sasha is gone. He runs outside.

Carly gives Sonny some coffee, and says she’s relieved and grateful that the charges were dropped. He thanks her, and she says, not just because of the kids. She doesn’t want to see him suffer. He says he feels the same way, and she says she doesn’t believe for a second the FBI made a mistake. They obviously had enough evidence against him, so what happened? He says, the Feds were expecting something not exactly legal, and what they found was incredible coffee. She says, which he only receives at the warehouse, never at the pier. And he never ships coffee in the middle of the night, so there must have been a reason it was on the docks. It’s almost like he knew the FBI was going to bust him. He says he didn’t know that was going to happen, but he did lay some false breadcrumbs to feed his enemy. She says, what enemy? and he says, that’s what he’s going to find out, and he will.

Mason says, Ava made a mistake trying to play the boss, and she tells him, leave or she’ll call the cops. He’s trespassing. He says, really? She’s going to call the cops? When he has evidence she murdered her ex-husband? Don’t forget who has the body with her DNA all over it. She says, they had a deal. She did her part. He says, they know what she did. The deal was that she helped them in exchange for getting the body, but she decided to double-cross them. She says, that’s absolutely untrue, and he says, the evidence, the information Betty gave them was false. It was a set-up. That means Sonny was warned, and the only person who could have done that was her.

Tracy asks if Lucy wants to discuss the case, or does she want to make a deal. Lucy says, first she’d like information, and Tracy says she understands. There’s a thing called discovery. That’s what lawyers do. Lucy’s lawyer can contact her lawyer, and all of Lucy’s questions can be answered… in six months when the trial – if and when they go to trial – and by the way, discovery ends, she thinks, two weeks before the trial. (Huh?) Lucy says she knows that. Tracy knows she doesn’t have time to wait. She needs answers now. Tracy says she understands, but unfortunately, that’s not the way the legal system works. She’s going to have to be patient. Is there something else she can help Lucy with? This could all go away. 75/25. She’s taken the liberty of drawing up the papers. There’s just a few places to sign and she’s marked them. Lucy says, gee, thank you so much. She’s not signing anything. Tracy asks if that isn’t why she’s here, to make a deal, but Lucy says, there’s no deal. Can they just stop this? Drop the pretense. She knows Tracy doesn’t have any of the schematics on The Deceptor. Prove she’s got something. Show her what she’s got.

Brook says she was just about to head to the office, and Maxie says, that’s what she thought. Maxie’s new digs are on the way to Brook’s new digs, so she thought she’d take a chance and see if Brook was still here. Chase asks if he can offer Maxie a cup of coffee, but Maxie says she doesn’t want to hold him up. She knows how much policing he has to do with Mac as Commissioner. She knows what a demon he can be sometimes, so… Chase says, she’s right about that. He’s going to skip the lecture today, thank you very much. He tells Brook that he loves her and not to work too hard. He leaves, and Brook asks how the move went, but Maxie says she didn’t stop by to catch up. Why did Brook give The Deceptor information to Tracy?

Sam says, the best way Dante can help Cody and Sasha is to stay as ignorant as possible. Dante says, the problem is, he can’t ignore that a friend of his escaped a mental facility and took one of its patients with him, and she says, they went over this last night. He needs deniability. He says he did, and he appreciates she wants to protect him, and she says, of course (🍷) she does. She loves him and she knows he loves being a cop. She doesn’t want him to do anything to compromise that. He says he gets it. He loves her and wants to protect her too. It seems he’s not the only one who could be compromised by this whole thing. He got an update on the case, and for helping Cody, she made herself an accessory to kidnapping and assault. She says, what assault? and he says, Cody attacked Sasha’s psychiatrist, a guy named Dr. Montague. She asks if he just said Dr. Montague.

Cody finds Sasha outside, and she says, it feels so good to breathe fresh air; the smell of a forest instead of disinfectant. He says, good morning, and she says she has no idea how long she was at Ferncliff, but she remembers lying on that bed just wishing she was outside; feel the sun on her face, breathe freely. And here she is, because of him. He says, so she’s not mad at him for busting her out of there? and she says she’s never been more grateful to anyone in her life. He says, she’s welcome. Aside from being able to breathe freely, how is she really feeling? She says she’s confused. What actually happened last night?

Mac asks if there’s any update on the APB on Cody Bell and Sasha Gilmore, but the desk sergeant says, no sightings yet. Mac says, let him know when that changes, when Jordan comes in and asks for a word. They go into the interrogation room, and she says, the FBI busts Sonny Corinthos and lets him go. And meanwhile, they’ve got two escaped mental patients running around. What the hell is going on here?

Cody asks what Sasha remembers, and she says she remembers being in more pain than she’s ever felt. She remembers being terrified someone, Cody, was going to hurt her, but he didn’t. He sat with her. He helped her. He says, she had pretty severe withdrawal symptoms (BTW, do not try that at home), and she says, the doctors and nurses kept saying she was using, that she had someone slipping her drugs, but she swears she didn’t. He says he knows. He believes her. She asks why he would. Everyone knows she’s gotten clean before and relapsed. There’s a huge stigma about people slipping back into using. Why wouldn’t he think she’d gone the same way? He says, two reasons. One, she told him; and two, he knows exactly who’s drugging her. It was Dr. Montague.

Sam tells Dante that she ran into Dr. Montague, literally, when she was there for Cody’s evaluation. Look. She shows him her phone and says  she didn’t think anything of it at the time. She didn’t know he had anything to do with Sasha, and she accidentally spilled a cup of coffee on his phone. She was washing it off and a call came in from a Gladys; not a very common name. He agrees, and she says, this could be the smoking gun that proves Gladys messed with Sasha, just like Cody said. And if Dr. Montague is the psychiatrist… He says, or because he’s Sasha’s psychiatrist, Gladys called him to get a prognosis because she’s Sasha’s guardian. Sam says, there’s another thing she didn’t tell him. She mentioned something offhand about playing cards, and Montague said he had a game he played in regularly, and said there would be a spot for her. She got the feeling he was talking high stakes. Dante says, the game at The Savoy, the poker game in the back room, and she says, they both know that Gladys loves to gamble. He says, so maybe Gladys met Dr. Montague there.

Tracy says, Lucy should know better than to ask her that, and Lucy says, what she wants to know better is why. Why does Tracy actually think she owns the rights to The Deceptor? Does she even have a prototype? Does she know the word prototype? Tracy says, Lucy doesn’t understand; she won’t comment on that. Lucy says, just tell her. How did Tracy get it? Tracy says, her lawyer told her not to discuss the case, but Lucy says, there isn’t a case. All Tracy has is her attempt to steal The Deceptor through legal intimidation. She thinks this is about Tracy. Tracy wants to get revenge on her because she can’t stand her nasty, miserable life. Tracy says, tempting bait, but she won’t bite. There’s a deal on the table, and Lucy is here because she realizes this is her best and only option. So why doesn’t Lucy save them a lot of trouble, and give her what she wants, 75% of Deception.

Ava asks Mason, why would warn Sonny? She and Sonny have been arguing over their daughter since the day she was born. Mason says, so she wants to get in his good books, but she says, that’s absurd. He would wonder what kind of leverage Mason had over her, and then she would have to tell him about Nikolas’s accidental death. Then he would take Avery away from her in a heartbeat. She did exactly as she was told. She got Betty hired. She made sure Betty had open access to Sonny’s home. If Betty screwed up and got him bad information, she thinks that’s his fault for using someone incompetent. It certainly has nothing to do with her.

Sonny tells Carly, all he knows is that Dr. Gatlin-Holt and his cousin Mason work for this person, and they pressured Ava into getting information about him. She says, pressured Ava how? Do they have something on her? Are they blackmailing her? He says, that’s a need-to-know, and he doesn’t think she needs to know. She says she needs to know if he’s protecting Ava.

Tracy says, as Lucy can see, it’s quite straightforward. All she has to do is sign, and she continues working at the company, and reaps the benefits of The Deceptor and anything else Deception expends out to. Lucy takes the contract out of Tracy’s hand, and Tracy asks if Lucy came there to waste her time. Lucy rips the contract in half and says, 75/25 is off the table. She did not put her heart and soul into a company just to give it away for some measly percentage. Tracy says she does understand. After all the work Lucy put into the company, it would be difficult to give up any amount, any percentage. So if not 75/25, what would she be amenable to? Lucy says, Deception’s a whole lot more than just The Deceptor, so she guesses if – and that’s a great big fat if – Tracy came up with a similar product at the exact same time, and can prove it, maybe she can settle for 50/50. Tracy laughs, and says, Lucy is way off base. 65/35.

Brook says, it’s complicated, and Maxie says she takes that as a yes. Brook stole information and gave it to Tracy. She doesn’t know why she didn’t see this sooner. Brook left Deception because she wanted to get into music, then all of a sudden, she’s back. Lucy was under the impression that Maxie rehired Brook, when Maxie thought Lucy rehired her. But all this time, she was really working for Tracy. Brook took advantage of their friendship and Maxie’s trust, so she could steal information about their most valuable product. Brook, looking very sad, says, yes. That’s exactly what she did.

Jordan asks what Mac is doing about it, and he says, they have an APB out on the Ferncliff inmates, Cody Bell and Sasha Gilmore. She says, Sasha? But she was committed right after stabbing Cody. Is it possible he may have taken her for revenge? Mac says, it’s highly unlikely. He knows Cody. He’s convinced Cody means her no harm. She says, it sounds like he might have an idea why Cody took her. It’s been reported as a kidnapping. Mac says he doesn’t think it was a kidnapping, and Jordan says she’s learned to trust his instincts, but that doesn’t change the fact they’re fugitives and need to be found.

At the station, Agent Moss (aka the guy I thought was the US Attorney) asks to see Commissioner Scorpio, and the desk sergeant says, he’s in the interrogation room. Chase says he can show Agent Moss in, and brings him to Mac. Mac says he assumes Moss is here with information on the Sonny Corinthos case.

Sonny tells Carly, the person he’s protecting is Avery. It’s not good to have her mother be put in the middle of something shady. Carly asks what Ava did, and Sonny says, Ava came to his place looking for something, but she didn’t get it. Then they made it look like Pilar messed up, so Ava would fire her. Carly says, Pilar was a set-up, and he says, yeah. Then they pressured Ava into hiring Betty, which was their plant. She says, so Mason and Austin sent Betty to get information on him, and Ava had to go along. No wonder she was so worried about Betty. Carly wondered why she hired someone she didn’t like. Sonny says, she didn’t have a choice; he didn’t have a choice. So what he did was switch the game. Instead of Betty playing fetch with them, he had her deliver a parcel from him. She says, which was? and he says, exactly what they were looking for, but he and Brick made a few modifications. She says, he gave them false information, and he says, so Mason and Austin must’ve taken the bait back to their boss. She says, that’s why he asked her about Austin’s visit to Pentenville. So their boss, Sonny’s enemy, is inside Pentenville.

Sam tells Dante, Cody admitted he was playing poker for Selina Wu, and said that Gladys was in there and she lost big. He says, that’s convenient, considering she controls all of Sasha’s money, and she says, not to mention, she sold Brando’s garage. He asks if Sam thinks she’s really using these funds to repay debts, and Sam says she does. It certainly seems like that. Just think about it. Sasha was doing so much better. Maxie was going around telling everyone how well she handled that TV show, and Sasha was working so hard to end her conservatorship so she could have control of her own assets. He says, and if she was able to do that, she would have seen what Gladys is doing with the money, and Gladys wouldn’t want that to happen. She says, no. Gladys had to make sure Sasha stayed mentally unfit. He says, so Gladys must have met Montague at the poker game, and gotten him to help her do something to Sasha. Son of a bitch! He bangs the table with his fist.

Sasha tells Cody that Dr. Montague gave her injections. He said they were to help her get off the drugs, but she kept telling him that she wasn’t on any drugs. She never got anything from anybody. Cody says, this is really important. When she went live on that show on Home & Heart, she did great. She kept her cool under a very stressful situation. Was she on any medication at all at that time? She says, just her antidepressant. She’d been taking them for eight months, but they were prescribed by her old psychiatrist. He says, what about after that? Any other medications? She says, yes. She was taking the pills Dr. Montague gave her.

Maxie says, so Brook admits it, and she’s just going to stand there like she stole Maxie’s yogurt from the work fridge. Brook says she’s not trying to minimize what she did. She is so, so sorry, but she swears she had no idea what Tracy was going to do with that information about The Deceptor. Maxie says, Brook, better than anyone, knows what a schemer Tracy is. Did Brook think she was just too cheap to buy one, so she was going to build one for herself? Brook says, Tracy told her that she just wanted to know about it, and Maxie says, Tracy always has an agenda. Brook had to know Tracy was going to use that information against them. Brook says she was desperate. She owed Tracy big time, and this is how she collected. When Chase was kicked off the police force for defending her, she was supposed to write a letter to help him get reinstated, but she hesitated because she was too selfish. She was too scared of losing him, but she knew she had to fix it. So she went to her grandmother. She said she could pull some strings and get him a second hearing. It was like an angel came down to earth to right all of the wrongs. Well, that angel quickly turned demon when she threatened to go tell Chase unless Brook got her the information on The Deceptor. Maxie knows how much Chase hates being manipulated. Maxie says, stop. She’s heard enough. They are not in high school anymore. Brook put Maxie’s job, her livelihood, at risk because she couldn’t be honest with her boyfriend? Didn’t he break up with her once before because she lied to him? Has she learned nothing? Brook could not look sadder.

Lucy says, Tracy is absolutely impossible, and Tracy says, Lucy really doesn’t have any other options. She can let Deception slide into oblivion as the case drags on for months with appeals and delays. And of course (🍷) Lucy will have her real estate business. She thinks the Quartermaines have some swampland in Putnam County she can offload. Lucy says, 60/40, okay? That way Tracy gets to keep control – because that’s what Tracy loves, control – and she keeps a decent share, but there will be a clause that Tracy can’t remove her as CEO, and can’t take her off any of her board positions. Okay? Tracy says, through their history, there’s one thing she’s come to bank on. Lucy is a grifter. She’ll always look out for number one, but she does understand the disparity in their percentages is disconcerting. Even a tiny amount could be humiliating. She’s feeling extremely generous today. How about 51/49? That’s just a one percent difference. Lucy says, 51/49, really. Deal. She picks up her bag and says she guesses they’ll get in touch with each other to draw up that paperwork, but Tracy says, there’s one other detail. The deal is contingent on Lucy returning her 1% voting rights in ELQ.

Moss says he’d like a private talk, but Mac says, Deputy Mayor Ashford was Police Commissioner, before she took over for the mayor, and she worked for the DEA. Detective Chase is one of their finest. Anything Moss can say to him, he can say to them. Moss says, when they arrested Sonny Corinthos and seized his shipment, they were acting on information that he was illegally transporting classified weapons. The charges were dropped because there was nothing in the crates but coffee. Jordan says, it sounds like Sonny was one step ahead of them, and Moss says, he was, but that won’t always be the case.

Sonny tells Carly that he has reason to believe his enemy is inside Pentenville, but he’s not quite sure. The only connection there is between his false information that Betty stole and his arrest, is Gatlin-Holt’s trip to Pentenville. He had them both followed after Betty delivered the goods. Mason went to some working girl, and Austin went to Pentenville. Carly says, Mason sounds like a great guy (I literally lol), and Sonny says he’s thinking Austin was there to give some information to someone. And then in turn, the FBI got it. Either they’re trying to take him down, or they’re just trying to get points with the Feds. Or both. She says, so he needs to know who Austin saw during his visit at Pentenville, and he says, that’s where she can help him out. She says, really, and he says, if she’s willing.

Ava tells Mason, Sonny didn’t get where he is by being stupid. He’s more than capable of picking up on that sociopathic gleam in Betty’s eyes. Maybe Betty’s sweet act wasn’t as convincing as Mason thought it would be. Has that ever occurred to him? Maybe Sonny realized she was a plant and decided to turn the tables. She’s pretty sure that would make this his fault, wouldn’t it? For using the wrong operative. He says, not a story he wants to take back to his boss, and she says, take this back to the boss. She did her part. She just wants this to be over. She didn’t say anything to Sonny. She doesn’t intend to say anything to Sonny. Her life and the lives of the people she cares about mean too much to her. He says, we’ll be in touch, and leaves.

Dante tells Sam that he’s sorry. He’s never liked Gladys. He just didn’t trust her. She seemed all money grubbing, and she lied all the time, but he thought she was basically harmless. She was Sonny’s family, and Mike liked her. Poor Brando. He was a good guy and he had Gladys as a mother? He thought when Brando died, she cared and would want to do right by his widow, but he guesses not. Cody saw through her. (Well, he saw her at the poker game.) Sam says, Dante had no way of knowing, but he says, he’s a detective. Come on, he was blinded. Cody’s been talking about her for months, but Dante had his own stupid misgivings about Cody, and it messed up his judgement. Sam knew. She said it. Why didn’t he listen? Why did it get this far?

Sasha says, after her second session with Dr. Montague, he gave her some pills for anxiety, and Cody asks what the prescription was for. She says, he just gave her a bottle of pills and told her to take three a day, which she did. He asks if she even knew what she was taking. He’s sorry. She says, it all started then. She remembers she was feeling so impulsive, full of energy. She wanted to celebrate everything and she had no control. She couldn’t keep track of things, but she didn’t care. That’s when the shoplifting incident happened. He says, she was taking the pills the whole time? and she says, three a day. He says, Montague was drugging her long before she got sent to Ferncliff. Sasha says, why? Why would he do it?

Moss says, this goes no further than the room, and Mac says, of course (🍷). Moss says, they believe Mr. Corinthos is involved in the trafficking and sale of these restricted weapons. While they haven’t been able to prove it, this is an ongoing investigation. There are possible ties to the government and the private sectors, and they’ll continue to monitor Corinthos. Mac asks what the FBI expects from the PCPD in terms of cooperation, and Moss says, Corinthos has a son here in the department, Detective Dante Falconari. He was present at his father’s arraignment. If there’s any reason to suspect Detective Falconari is feeding his father information, or giving him any kind of assistance, they want to know about it. Lots of soap looks all around.

Lucy says, Tracy has been waiting years and years and years to spring this on her, hasn’t she? Tracy can’t stand the fact she has 1% of her family legacy. Tracy says, Lucy wormed her way into her family by taking advantage of her brother’s weakness. Lucy had an affair with him when he was married to Monica. Lucy says, so they’re going to bring this up now? Really? Monica was to blame too, because she slept with Tracy’s son Ned. Tracy says, the point is, Lucy blackmailed her into appointing her CEO. That is one of her biggest regrets. Lucy says, that is ancient, ancient history. Why in the world is she dredging that up now? Tracy says, because she is here to prevent the Quartermaine ship from running aground. Somebody has to get this family back on course, and if her son can’t do it, she has to do it. Lucy has clung to this family like a barnacle (another ha-ha from me), and it’s time they scrape off anything that doesn’t belong, and that means her. One percent voting rights in ELQ, and that is her final offer. Lucy says, nev-er, and walks out. Tracy says, ha. We’ll see.

Brook tells Maxie that she knows how this sounds and she’s not making excuses. But she loves Chase, more than she ever thought was possible. All she cared about was getting him his badge back, and when he did, when things were looking up for them, she didn’t want to ruin it. She was weak, so she gave in to Tracy’s demands. When she finally mustered up enough courage to stand up to Tracy, it was too late. She already had the information on The Deceptor. Maxie asks why Brook didn’t come to her, after everything they went through with Bailey Lou? Why didn’t Brook trust her? They could have schemed up a solution together. Instead, Brook betrayed her. Now Brook looks sad and uncomfortable.

On the phone, Tracy says, her friend just left… She thinks she’s going to fold… No. This is a perfect time to come and visit. Port Charles is beautiful in the fall.

Brook says, Maxie is right. In hindsight, Brook should have come to her. Maxie says she would have helped Brook, and Brook says she doesn’t know. She was just too ashamed, too stupid. She thought she could handle it. Maxie says, handle Tracy? and Brook says she had no idea what Tracy was planning. She could never have foreseen Sasha’s meltdown, or the fact that The Deceptor would be their only moneymaker. She could have never planned for any of that. She messed up and she’ll do everything in her power to make it right. She’ll come up with a social media campaign against Tracy, and it will go viral. They can handle this. They can make it right. Maxie says, that’s not going to happen. She’s not going to let that happen. Brook’s proven she cannot be trusted. She’s fired. Brook says, no, Maxie, please, but Maxie heads for the door. Brook says she’ll work for free. Just let her make it right. Maxie says, that ship has sailed, and walks out, closing the door behind her.

On the phone, Ava says, where the hell is Austin? His cousin was just here again, making crazy accusations. She can’t take this anymore, and she’s telling him, if Mason drags her under, Austin’s coming with her.

Carly says, is she willing to help Sonny get the answer. Is she willing to help him period. There was a time when she would have jumped in. She would have said yes immediately, but now… He says, not so much? and she asks if it’s going to endanger Drew or affect his sentence in any way. He says, no, not at all, and she says she doesn’t know. So much has happened. So much has changed between them. He says he understands, and she asks if he really does, or is he just saying that to get her to do what he wants her to do. He says he understands things have changed, but one thing hasn’t changed. She would do anything for him, and he would do anything for her. And he’s always there for her. She says she knows. And she knows he wouldn’t ask her if it wasn’t serious, and if someone is gunning for him, that means they could come after her kids, so yes, of course (🍷) she’s in. What does he need her to do? He says he’ll tell her on the way to Pentenville.

Sam asks how Dante could have known what was going on. Gladys is a snake, and she’s cunning, and she had to keep Sasha under guardianship so she could have access to Sasha’s money. That meant convincing everyone, including him, that she had Sasha’s best interest at heart. He says, the bottom line is, he should have just listened to Cody, but she says she didn’t believe Cody at first. He hasn’t exactly been 100% honest with either of them. Dante says, he hasn’t, but he said Sasha was being drugged the whole time. Even after she stabbed him, he said it wasn’t her. How long has she been on these drugs? What is she taking? Sam says she doesn’t know. They’ll figure that out. The important thing is that Cody cared enough to go into Ferncliff and get Sasha out. She thinks Cody saved Sasha’s life. He says he’s got to see Cody. He has to talk to Cody. She has to trust him enough to take him where they are.

Sasha tells Cody that she never even met Dr. Montague until he was assigned to evaluate her. What possible motive could he have for drugging her? Cody says he’s guessing Montague was being paid, and she says, by who? He says, by the person who did have a motive – her mother-in-law Gladys.

Tomorrow, Spencer tells Trina that he thinks he may have fixed that; Nina asks if Olivia doesn’t want Ned back; Josslyn asks if Dex is dumping her (if so, I called it); and Sonny asks for Drew’s help.

The Really Horrifying Housewives of Orange County

Still inflicting themselves on Mexico.

Shannon wonders if they’re having food or should they put sand on their plates, and in Fancy Pants Heather’s interview, she wonders why she thought sharing good news would be met with anything but this bullsh*t. Everyone is mad at her for something. Should she apologize to the waiter as well? She walks away from the table, and Emily says she’s pissed. Shannon tells Emily that she didn’t say anything, and in Emily’s interview, she says, she and Shannon are in a good place. They’ve had issues, but she feels they’ve worked through them. Why would they get to that point, and Shannon would talk bad about her, then lie? It doesn’t make sense. In Shannon’s interview, she says she didn’t even see Fancy Pants at BravoCon, and thinks one of Heather’s goals is leveling her relationships. Tamra hunts down Fancy Pants, who says she’s tired of people lying. Emily seems to have a crackerjack memory about anything she’s said. At the table, Emily tells the others that she asked Fancy Pants what Shannon had said, but Fancy Pants said she couldn’t tell her because it was in the vault. Shannon says, the biggest thing with John is that when they first met, they spent every day together. Now he has excuses to leave. When John has to go, it hurts her. She has childhood issues, and when they have an argument, she’s afraid he’s walking out. In Shannon’s interview, she says, everyone thinks there are greater issues going on, and it’s causing her anxiety. So she’s going to open up and set the record straight. Emily says, Shannon shouldn’t talk if she doesn’t want to, but she needs an outlet. She asks about John not wanting Shannon to discuss their relationship, and Shannon says she told him, it’s his rule, not hers. In her interview, Emily says she thinks it’s great that Shannon is opening up, but she feels it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Shannon says, John’s an avoider and she’s a communicator. Sometimes it doesn’t mesh, so sometimes she talks to them. Sha and John both have plenty to do, and she feels like he doesn’t care. Fancy Pants tells Tamra that she’s at her tipping point. She’s held to different standards, and can’t do or say anything right. Emily says she heard Shannon claimed to have juicy stuff about Jenn’s relationship, and Shannon admits she did say that. In Gina’s interview, she says, Shannon pretends to be a good person, but Jenn and Tamra finally seem to be getting along, and she wants to dig up dirt. Shannon tells them that she heard there was more stuff to come out. Tamra said there was so much more. In Jenn’s interview, she says she spoke with the girl Ryan slept with, and she’d said Tamra was digging for information. In Tamra’s interview, she says, the girl Ryan dated sent her texts that happened while he was in a relationship with Jenn. Part of her wants to protect Jenn. She knows Jenn plays dumb and it’s frustrating. Tamra comes back, and says, Fancy Pants was hoping to celebrate the sale of the house with them, and Emily says, Fancy Pants just called her a liar and an a-hole. Heather brings in gift boxes that say something like From Fiesta to Siesta, and they have a bunch of Mexican themed gifts inside. As she hands one to Emily, Emily says, but she’s an a-hole. Fancy Pants says, they’ll dive into that later. Oh goody. Something to look forward to. In her interview, Emily says she doesn’t want gifts. She wants Fancy Pants to be easier to be friends with. Good luck with that. In Fancy Pants’ interview, she says she is who she is, and likes to bring a trip gift, even if they don’t deserve it. They decide to go to bed, and Shannon asks for a skinny margarita to go.

In the morning, they get ready for an ATV excursion, and make calls to their families. Fancy Pants tells Terry that everyone looked blank when she told them about the house, which is bullsh*t. The only blank was on Fancy Pants’ face when they reamed her out for not telling them before they found out in the press. Terry says, it was mean, but forget it and have fun. Fancy Pants says, every time the group is together, it comes down to her, and she’s not tolerating it. If it happens again, she’s out. Wow. This chick is not only a whiner, she really doesn’t see herself. Tamra joins the others for breakfast, and tells them that she asked if Fancy Pants wanted to eat, but she said she had food. She doesn’t feel Fancy Pants means some of the things she says. It’s just who she is. Shannon says, the things that happened between her and Fancy Pants weren’t happenstance. She’s been talking about Shannon’s relationship. She acts like she’s above everyone, but it’s just her being an a-hole. Gina and Emily are the only ones left at the table when Fancy Pants finally graces the table with her presence. Emily says, if Fancy Pants felt she was being a jerk, she apologizes sincerely. In her interview, Fancy Pants says, an apology is fantastic, but there’s a pattern. We flash back to other times Emily has apologized to Fancy Pants, and in her interview, Emily says, all she can do is say she’s sorry, and she’ll probably do it again. The difference here is, at least Emily does apologize. Fancy Pants gives excuses. Fancy Pants suggests they take a restart. She’d been dying to tell them about the house. In Gina’s interview, she says, it’s insulting to her, but maybe Fancy Pants isn’t used to someone having her back. Fancy Pants says she’s not being dismissive or unkind, but she’s done. She does value Gina and Emily’s friendship, and thinks they’re good. Honestly, my friendships have never once been this complicated.

In Tamra’s interview, she says she set up an excursion where they’ll drive through the jungle on ATVs, then dive into the water. She’s been there before, but she’ll try anything twice. Guides Eddie and Alvaro go through a few instructions, and they head out. It looks like fun, but I’m sure the day will be ruined somehow. In Gina’s interview, she says, Shannon looks like Jennifer Coolidge on a vespa in White Lotus. They get to the water, and it’s 36 feet down. When they ask what’s in there, Eddie says, cameras and watches. Emily goes first, from the highest point, and ends up with a nose bleed. In Fancy Pants’ interview, she says, there’s not enough champagne to make her jump in. In Emily’s interview, she says she’ll do anything once as long as doesn’t result in reconstructive surgery. Tamra makes the jump, and Gina tells Fancy Pants to give her artifacts to her children. In her interview, Gina says she was so afraid of water, she wouldn’t even take baths for a while. We flash back to a few times that she’s freaked out in the water, and she says, her life is flashing before her and it’s too short. She jumps from the lowest platform, which is about as high as the public pool high diving board where I grew up, and they applaud.

Gina calls Travis, who’s at the food court, since it’s the only place that makes all six kids happy. They get ready for dinner, and in Tamra’s interview, she says, Jenn was a soccer mom, and now she drips in fake designer clothes. She’s wearing a real Mugler. Vicki shows up at Shannon and Tamra’s room, and there’s screaming. So much screaming. In Tamra’s interview, she says she invited Vicki, but Vicki wasn’t sure she could make it. To have the Tres Amigas back again is everything. In Shannon’s interview, she says, her best memories have Vicki and Tamra in them. Some of them are blurry, but that’s what girlfriends are for. They do their Amigas dance and drink a shot. The rest of the group arrives at the restaurant for dinner before they do, and Emily says, there’s one extra chair and it’s creeping her out. The Amigas finally arrive, and Vicki says she doesn’t want to be left out. In Gina’s interview, she says, Vicki made it clear how she feels about her and Emily, but it’s not worth bringing it up. Let’s just whoop it up. In Emily’s interview, she says, Vicki likes to talk about them a lot. She’s clearly super fan. We see some tabloid headlines where Vicki trash talked them. In Vicki’s interview, she says, the group needs to liven it up. Emily brings up Fancy Pants calling her Snuffleupagus, and we see a clip from earlier with Emily saying she had to get her look together, and Heather saying she looks like Snuffleupagus… in a good way. In her interview, Emily says, Fancy Pants thinks she says mean things, but Fancy Pants says things that could be construed as mean. Snuffleupagus is a big, huge, furry Muppet. The resort has arranged for them to have a private showing of Cirque du Soliel Joyà, and they’re thrilled with the performance. It is pretty cool. Someone gave me Cirque tickets once, and I enjoyed it – the hologram stuff was amazing – but it probably isn’t something I’d normally pay to see. The women get their PJs on and go to the Amigas’ room for more drinking. Tamra passes out bathing suits that have 3D body graphics on them. They play Truth or Dare for a hot minute, then somehow, Vicki starts talking about Jenn’s relationship, even though she doesn’t know Ryan’s name.

Vicki tells Jenn that she thinks Jenn is in the same situation she was, and the man she’s with might not be the right person. She wishes she knew then what she knows now. In Gina’s interview, she says she had high hopes for Vicki, but Vicki travels with her spoon to stir sh*t up. Gina says she thinks Vicki is saying Jenn should trust her gut, but Taylor says she thinks Jenn is doing that. In her interview, Gina says, Vicki doesn’t know Jenn or Ryan, but she knows Tamra. Clearly she’s been hearing things. In Vicki’s interview, a producer asks who she heard it from, and Vicki says, who do they think? Telephone, tell a Tamra. That reminds me of my grandfather, who used to say, telephone, telegraph, tell Marie (my grandmother). Later, Gina, Emily, and Fancy Pants gather, and discuss how Jenn had no reaction and never does; she shuts down. In her interview, Gina says she thinks Jenn needs to stand up for herself. No one checks in with Jenn, but she’s going to. Emily says, Vicki didn’t even know Ryan’s name, and Fancy Pants wonders why Vicki is talking about Jenn’s relationship. In the Amigas room, they manage to start a fire with one of the candles, but it’s quickly extinguished in an ice bucket. You can dress them up…  

The next morning, yikes, the clean-up. Tamra wonders why it’s so bright, and gets into bed with Vicki. Another thing I never did with any of my girlfriends. They all do their family calls, and go to a beach club where they have a private cabana. They’re wearing their suits, and Taylor says, Shannon got teary wondering how she was going to feel included when she’s not willing to be in a swimsuit. We see a clip of Shannon saying she doesn’t want to be in a suit, and in her interview, Shannon says she feels like everyone knows her being thin, and she’ll be more objectified. Emily says she wishes she could help Shannon get to the point where she could embrace who she is, and in her interview, she says she thinks John is critical of Shannon. She thinks he makes Shannon feel bad, commenting on her looks and weight. It’s terrible. The Amigas show up, Shannon in the suit.

In Shannon’s interview, she says, the last time she was with the group in a bathing suit she was 20 pounds lighter. Her weight yoyos, and when she’s not in the happiest place, it can be read on her body. We flash back to her going back to the gym when she was heavier. Aerobics instructor Miguel joins them to lead a water aerobics class, and in Emily’s interview, she says, if it’s going to go this long, she needs a drink and a croissant. She needs some huevos rancheros. In Gina’s interview, she says, Miguel thought they were training for the f***ing Olympics. Afterwards, Emily brings up Fancy Pants comparing her to Snuffleupagus, and Fancy Pants says she wasn’t thrilled with Emily saying she looked like a dolphin trainer when they did the Slip N Slide thing. In their various interviews, the women speculate over what Snuffleupagus is, and Shannon says, he’s super hairy and big. A dolphin trainer is cute. Emily tells Fancy Pants that she could have interpreted it as negative, but she thought Fancy Pants was being funny. The point is, Emily is being funny too. In her interview, Gina says, no one likes being compared to a hairy, large animal, and in Emily’s interview, she says, with Fancy Pants, it’s always a double standard. She does no wrong. She’s just being Heather, but Emily is an a-hole and a jerk. Fancy Pants says, if Emily was offended, she’s so sorry. They sit down to eat, and a container of chicken fingers is passed around. Somebody says, it looks like a d*ck pic, and Taylor reminds them of Vicky saying, Steve doesn’t like to have his weewee touched. We flash back to that, and I just shake my head. Gina asks Jenn how she’s feeling about Vicki’s comment, and Jenn says she hasn’t been with the group long. Vicki gripes about being fired, and Jenn says, at first, she thought Vicki was talking about her own relationships. Since they’d never met before, when Vicki said she got the info from their mutual friend group, she was trying to figure out who their mutual friend was. Ever so helpful, Tamra says, it’s her, and Jenn asks why Tamra is always calling her out. It’s malicious and mean. Tamra insists she’s not malicious or mean and I nearly choke on my coffee. Tamra says, Alex – the girl Ryan slept with when he and Jenn were on a break – reached out to her. Jenn says she didn’t know Alex, and Tamra asks if Jenn never talked to her. Jenn says, this is a baited question. Why doesn’t Tamra just say what she f***ing wants to say? Alex told her that Tamra was the one who reached out, and asked her to send everything. If you need me to be relevant, good for f***ing you.

Tamra says she didn’t ask for the information, but Ryan was sleeping with Alex while he was dating Jenn. He sent her a text while he and Jenn were at a concert in San Diego. Jenn says she’s seen it, and Tamra asks why she’s protecting him. In Jenn’s interview, she says she knew all this and forgave Ryan because she loves him. She’s not protecting him, but why talk about it? It’s painful and it sucked, but he owned up to what he did. She asks what Tamra wants from her, and Tamra says she doesn’t want Jenn hurt. Jenn says, so Tamra is busying herself in her pain? and Tamra says, Jenn never shows any emotion. Jenn says, because it’s easier, and in her interview, she says she brings everything in. She gets quiet, processes it, and thinks about it. Tamra says, Jenn ruined her whole family. She’s not the only person Ryan f***ed at her gym. Everybody knows Ryan’s a player, even Jenn’s mother-in-law, who works out at the same gym. Gina says, Jenn knows and chooses to be with him, and in Fancy Pants’ interview, she says she feels bad for Jenn. She doesn’t know Tamra’s endgame, but doesn’t feel it’s friendship. Tamra says she doesn’t like Ryan with Jenn, and did the same thing with Vicki. We flash back to that, and Vicki says, they have to learn for themselves. Hey, stop that. Vicki has no business being the voice of reason. Tamra says, Jenn should have learned her lesson, but didn’t. Don’t lie to my face like your fake Gucci. In Jenn’s interview, she says, don’t tell her that she ruined her family. That’s not the way a friend talks and acts. She can take the hard conversations, but that’s not the way a friend asks. Jenn leaves the table, and Tamra screeches at her to be f***ing smart.  

Ugh. Tamra has two volumes, and they’re both annoying.

Next time, hang-gliding; Vicki tells Jenn that she should have made her marriage work; and more screeching.

👠 Maybe a Spoiler…

Her connection to Port Charles.

🌞 Non-Rain Dancing…

Come back tomorrow for soap, a little Charm, and VMA talk. Until then, stay safe, stay letting that old lady ahead of you in line, and stay doing anything once, as long as it doesn’t result in reconstructive surgery.

September 7, 2022 – Anna Asks Robert For His List, Erika Pitches a Fit About Justice, She’s Show Goes On & Pale

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Robert looks at Peter’s gravestone, which has all kinds of graffiti on it and garbage lying around it, when Anna walks into the cemetery. She asks why they’re meeting here, and he says, sometimes when he’s having a bad day, he strolls past. It makes him feel better. She says she doesn’t know whether to find that funny or really disturbing, and he says, both work. She says, he didn’t do this, did he? as he rights a bench nearby. He says, no, although he might have been tempted. Apart from the midnight vandals, this is the last place on earth anyone is going to visit.

Lucy hands the pool attendant her sunscreen, and tells him, don’t be stingy. The UV rays are not messing around today. She turns around, and he starts to put sunscreen on her shoulders. She says, that’s so nice, thank you, and Victor says, he’s glad she approves. One can’t be too careful.

At the Haven Bistro, Alexis looks at The Invader headline on her tablet: Who Attacked Ava Jerome? Valentin joins her, and says, a good headline is a real balancing act, isn’t it? It has to be vivid enough to attract the eyeball, but responsible enough to not play to the dregs of humanity. She says, that’s one way of describing it, and he says, that was supposed to be a complement. She thanks him, and asks if he wants something from her. He asks why she assumes he wants something, and she says, because he’s a Cassadine. She can always tells when one of them is holding back. He says, one of us. Last he checked, they were still family.

Maxie thanks Felicia for coming over. She can’t believe her babysitter canceled at the last minute. Felicia says, hello, I’m Felicia your mom, and Maxie says, they’ve met. Felicia says, then Maxie knows she’ll take any opportunity to spend time with her grandchildren. Maxie says she still appreciates it, and Felicia asks, where are her little angels? Maxie’s phone dings, and she checks it, saying, James is at Lila’s Kids, and Bailey Lou is taking a nap. Felicia says, already? and Maxie says, that’s what happens when you get up so early. It’s Sam. Dante’s moving into the penthouse today. Felicia says, how exciting, and Maxie says, she told Sam she’d help out, but she guesses Cody has it covered. Felicia says, Cody Bell? and Maxie says, yeah. If she wasn’t seeing Austin, she could see herself looking twice at Cody. Felicia says, that would be a very bad idea.

At the hospital, Austin tells Britt, he’s just saying she’s right, and she says, yes, she is. Mac approaches them, and asks if they’ve got a minute. Britt says, if this is about the Quartermaine picnic, she already gave her statement, and Mac says, he’s read them. He’s looking for some insight. Austin says, about what? and Mac says he’s trying to put together a profile of Ava’s attacker. Not just the physical, the emotional; what kind of person might have done this. Britt says, it sounds like he needs a psychiatrist for that, and Mac says he’s looked at the guest list, and he knows most of them, but some are virtual strangers, to him at least. Britt asks if there’s any particular stranger he’s interested in, and Mac says, he’s a friend of hers – Cody Bell.

Sam tells Cody, the box goes in Rocco’s room at the top of the stairs, and Dante brings in a box for the living room. She asks, what’s that on top? and he says, her new doormat. She says she’ll be the judge of that, and asks to see it. It has arrivederci on one end, and bonjourno on the other, and she says, that’s… Cody says, that’s Italian. Dante says, si, si, senor, and shows Sam. He says, it welcomes them – he turns it – and then when they leave, it… She says, it says right there, goodbye, and he asks if she likes it. She says she likes him, and he says, but not the mat? She says, they’ll keep it in rotation, and he asks how many doormats she has. She says, a lot, and he says, as many as she has boyfriends? She says she has a lot of doormats, but only one boyfriend, and they kiss. She tells him, welcome home, and he thanks her. They kiss again.

Anna says, it doesn’t seem possible that Emma is in college, and Robert says, tell him about it. Shouldn’t she be about yay high – he holds his hand about 3 feet off the ground – running about, blowing on the digeridoo? She says, that damn digeridoo, and he says, best present ever. She says she’s surprised Robin didn’t disown him about that, and he says, him too. Is that what she wanted to talk about, Robin and the family? She says, no, and he says he didn’t think so. She says she needs his list, and he says, laundry, grocery, bucket? She says, no. The list. The one he has in that little black book; the names of every contact he’s ever encountered. He says he’ll have her know, he holds that book in very high esteem, and she says, she knows that. He says, in this digital age, has the little black book ever been hacked? and she says, no, it hasn’t. He asks if there’s ever been a glitch in it, and she says, no, there hasn’t. He says, has it ever accidentally lost any of it’s information… and she says, she gets it. He’s right; the rest of the world is completely wrong. He’s God’s gift to every little black book everywhere. Now can she see it? (I have to admit, he has a point.) He says, last he heard, she was in good standing with the Bureau, and she says, she is. She made some discreet inquiries, but it’s imperative that this stay off the record. He says, and under the radar, and she says, yeah. He asks if she’s going to tell him what the deuce this is, and she says, it has to remain between them. He says, between her, him, and the stiff here, pointing to Peter’s grave, and she says, Victor Cassadine is going down.

Lucy asks, what happened to the pool attendant? and Victor says, he’s apprenticing. Nothing like hands-on experience. She says, he’s lucky it’s her, because another woman might have called the authorities. He says, for wanting to protect her skin? and she says, doesn’t he know, you should never touch a woman without her permission? He says, a thousand apologies, ma’am. Like he said, he’s a novice; he’s learning on the job. He bets she’d make an excellent teacher.

Valentin says, she’s always been his favorite, and Alexis says, Cassadine? She should hope so. She doesn’t care for private islands or private scores to settle. She built a life for herself. She torched it, and burned it to the ground, but she built it back better than before. She says, so has he. Is he going to screw all that up by doing his father’s bidding? He says, his father’s bidding? and she tells him, admit it. He’s here on Victor’s orders, isn’t he?

Cody says, look who he found outside, and Sonny says, looks like today’s Dante’s moving day. He has something for them. He hands Sam a casserole dish, and she asks what it is. He says, homemade lasagna, and Cody says, Sonny Corinthos cooks? Dante says, he does, but Sonny just gave them a whole case of champagne. Sonny says, they can’t drink it on an empty stomach. That’s the Bensonhurst way: when you’re sad, you eat; when you’re happy you… Sam says, eat. She loves it. She thanks him, and Dante says, thank you, neighbor. Cody says, neighbor? and Dante says, he lives across the hall. He does??? Have I not been paying attention, or did they just decide this? Cody, who’s been holding a box this whole time, says, this is for the kitchen, by the way, and Dante takes it from him. Sam says she should put the lasagna in the kitchen too, and follows Dante. Frank lurks around the doorway, and Cody says, that’s pretty cool; Sonny living across from Dante. Sonny says, he and Cody have to get something straight.

Austin tells Mac, all he knows about Cody is what Maxie’s told him. He assumes Mac spoke with Maxie, but Mac says, they haven’t had contact since the picnic. Austin checks his phone, and says, he has to take care of this, but Britt’s really the one Mac should be talking to. Austin leaves, and Britt says, she really doesn’t have that much experience with Cody. Mac says, but he’s a friend of hers, and she says, a new friend. Mac asks if she’d mind telling him more about Cody.

Austin walks into an exam room, looking at his tablet, and introduces himself. He says, why don’t they start by telling him what brought them to General Hospital. He looks up, and Mason says he’ll give Austin one guess.

Maxie says, that reaction was intense, and Felicia says, sorry. Maxie asks if Felicia knows something about Cody that she doesn’t. Because from what she can tell, he’s a really good guy. A refreshing change of pace from all the city slickers in these parts; he’s an actual cowboy. Felicia says she believes he’s a good guy too, and Maxie says, but? Felicia says, there’s this possibility that Cody could be… uh… Cody could be… um… Maxie tells her, whatever it is, just say it, and Felicia says, I’ve been sniffing around – Maxie says, around Cody?and it’s increasingly looking like Mac could be his dad.

Felicia tells Maxie, then Cody announces that Dominique Stanton is his biological mother. The woman who raised him told him on her deathbed. Maxie says, that is dramatic, but what does this have to do with Mac? Felicia says, Dominique and Mac had a romance back in the day. She was married to this horrible man, Leopold Taub. Maxie says, Peter horrible, or just run-of-the-mill horrible? and Felicia says, he was pretty bad. He was older than her, and kept her a virtual prisoner in their home, and eventually shipped her off to Shadybrook. For six months, she couldn’t talk to anybody, she couldn’t see anybody. She couldn’t even check herself out until after Leopold died. Maxie says, once that happened, did she and Mac get back together? Felicia says, they did, but they realized they weren’t right for each other. Maxie says, duh, and Felicia says, she thinks it was a nice relationship. Mac doesn’t seem to have any regrets about it at all. Maxie says, but the point is, she and Mac were together before her stint in Shadybrook. Felicia nods, and Maxie says, so if she was pregnant during that time… Felicia says, the baby could very well be his.

Britt says, honestly, there’s not much to tell, unless Cody knowing how to make an entrance is relevant, and Mac says he heard Cody parachuted into town. Britt says, did he ever, and he says, anything else? She asks, why all the questions? Mac doesn’t think Cody was involved in the attack on Ava? Mac says, he’s not a suspect, but he’s a person of interest, and Britt says, to him or the police department? He says, meaning? and she says she just knows he was friends with Cody’s mom back in the day. Is that what this is about? He thanks her for her time, and says he’ll let her get back to work. He leaves, and she says, that was weird.

Austin asks why Mason is here, and Mason says, Austin had been so busy since that picnic, the only way he could see Austin was to make an appointment. It’s time to come home; they’re expecting him. Austin says, this is his home. If anyone should be hightailing it out of here, it should be Mason. Mason asks what that means, and Austin says, the night of the picnic, Mason said they needed to take care of Ava. Shortly thereafter, she was stabbed by an unknown assailant. Is that why Mason is here? To finish what he started?

Sonny says, Cody, right? It’s good to see his son reconnecting with an old friend. Cody says, it’s been good for him too, and Sonny says, any friend of his son’s is a friend of his. So there’s something going on with Cody and Spinelli. Sonny knows Spinelli’s strange, but he’s a good person. He’d hate to see a friend of his son exploiting a good person. Cody says he gets it. He’s not doing anything now, and won’t in the future, to hurt Spinelli. Sonny says he’s going to  hold Cody to that.

Alexis says, it’s not like it’s anything new. Not that long ago, she walked in, and Valentin was sitting at her desk. Is that because he likes her office so much? He says, it is a nice office, and she says, Victor wanted to use The Invader for his own purposes, and her answer was? He says, no, unequivocally, and she says, so he comes to her with this same pitch. What makes him think her answer is going to be any different? He says, because there are other people involved, and she says, who? Spencer and Nikolas? Victor doesn’t honestly believe one of them would attack Ava. He says, this isn’t about what Victor believes; it’s about public perception. She asks, why send him? If Victor is so keen on protecting Spencer and Nikolas, why doesn’t he just talk to her personally? Why is he asking Valentin to do his dirty work? More important, why is Valentin agreeing to it? Valentin says, at least consider his point-of-view, and she says, sure. She’ll speak to him personally. Valentin says, he’s afraid that’s impossible right now, and she asks, why not? He says, because at the moment, Victor is otherwise engaged.

Lucy asks if Victor had fun at the Quartermaine picnic; of course (🍷) before Ava was attacked. He says, the perpetrator will pay, and she says she didn’t know he cared. He says, Nikolas is his family. You assault his wife, you assault all of us. He pets her arm, and says, but let’s not spoil such a beautiful day with such dark thoughts. How about if he makes them a reservation for dinner, al fresco? She says she would love that, but unfortunately, she’s booked. He says, lunch then, and she says, he is persistent He says, it’s one of his many virtues, and she says, to be honest, she’s not sure the two of them being seen out dining… It might give the wrong perspective. He says, it’s a harmless lunch, but she says she doesn’t think Martin will see it as harmless. Valentin and Martin are very close. He tells her not to worry about Valentin. His lips are sealed; Victor will see to that. She says, how? and he says, don’t worry about the details. Trust him. It will be their little secret.

Robert says, if Victor’s the target, count him in, but Anna says, he can’t be involved. He says, he had this guy dead to rights when Victor came back from Greece, but the Bureau cut a deal with him. She says she understands his instinct, but she can’t risk any collateral damage. Innocent lives are at stake here. He says, all the more reason to have the Bureau involved, and she says, their calculus when it comes to human life is different from hers. He says, so what amounts to an unacceptable loss in her world? Let him guess. Would it be the initials VC, and the V doesn’t stand for Victor? She says, if the list is too big an ask, she’ll figure something else out, and he says, Valentin means that much to her? She says, does getting Victor mean this much to him? He says he hasn’t been in the field for a while. Contacts, they come, they go, they die in dark alleys. She says, they’re still standing. Who’s to say some of his contacts aren’t also? He says, okay. He’ll share it. She thanks him, and he says, there’s one condition. She says, oh God.

Alexis tells Valentin, Victor’s not the only one who’s busy; she has a paper to run. She reaches for the check, but he says he’s got this. She says, of course (🍷). The price being? He says he doesn’t know; what did she get? She says, his price, and he says, the police want the public’s help finding Ava’s assailant. She’s the voice of the public, and The Invader’s resources could go a long way in steering the search in the right direction. She says, the direction leading anywhere except toward the Cassadines.

Lucy tells Victor, our town loves its gossip, and they seem to love to gossip about her. He says he bets she’s a favorite topic among many, and she tells him, what she’s saying is, maybe they should just keep their friendship out in the light of day; keep it public. He says, the last thing he wants to do is put her in a compromising position, but he feels like he’s getting mixed signals here. She says, from moi? and he says, at the picnic, he felt like they were on the same page. Was he wrong? She says, absolutely not, but she’s been here before, and it always ends in disaster. He says, she hasn’t been here before with him. And is this the real reason she’s hesitating, or has someone poisoned her against him? She sips her drink, and looks coy.

Cody asks if he and Sonny are good, and Sonny says, they are. Sam and Dante come back, and Dante asks, what’s up? Cody says, nothing much, except he has to take off. Let him know when they’re ready to move the rest of the stuff. Sam says, next time, they’ll repay him with a beer, and Cody says, he’d never say no to that. Congratulations on the new digs… Well, new to Dante. Sam says, it’s actually an upgrade for her, and Cody says, cool. He’ll text Dante later. He says, it was great seeing Mr. Corinthos again, and Sonny says, call him Sonny. Cody leaves, and Sonny picks up the welcome mat. He says, Dante’s? He likes it. Dante tells Sam, see? He’s got great taste. She says she agreed to keep it in rotation, and Sonny says he’s happy for them. Not just because of the apartment, but he’s glad they found each other. Sam says, they did have to take a detour to get there, and Dante says, but they made it. Sam says she’s got the doormat to prove it, and Sonny says, she does.

Maxie asks Felicia what Mac is going to do, when Mac walks in, saying, grandpa reporting for duty. Maxie says Felicia was just filling her in on Cody maybe being his son… Oh wait a minute. Please tell her that the two of them have discussed this. Mac says, they’ve danced around it. This is just the first time they’ve said it out loud. Maxie says, and he thinks mom is wrong? but he says, he thinks Felicia has it right. There’s a good chance he might be Cody’s father. Of course (🍷) they won’t know until they do a DNA test, but he honestly doesn’t know if he wants to find out. Maxie says, why not? and Mac says, he’s having a hard time accepting that he had a son all these years, and didn’t know he existed.

Mason tells Austin, take it easy. None of that Vulcan death grip stuff. Austin says, Mason was always dumb, but he thinks somehow Mason got dumber. Ava Jerome is being guarded by Sonny Corinthos’s personal bodyguard, and the Chief of Detectives is literally right down the hall. Mason says, Austin has it all wrong. He didn’t try to off that Jerome woman. He was with Austin that night. Austin says, not the whole night, and Mason says, it wasn’t him. Can they get back to the main subject? There’s a patient coming to the hospital next week. Austin is going to take a personal interest. Austin says he doesn’t take orders from Mason, but Mason says, they’re not his orders. Austin says, he doesn’t take orders from her either, and Mason asks if he thinks that’s wise. Britt comes in, and asks if Austin got her text… Sorry. She didn’t know he was with a patient. Wait… She knows him. Open mic night on The Haunted Star. He was with Austin. Mason says, Austin never introduced them. Shame on him. Austin says, his apologies, and introduces them. They shake hands, and Mason says, the pleasure’s all his. He thanks Austin for the referral, and says he’ll see Austin soon. And he’ll look for Britt too. He leaves, and Britt says, what the hell was that?

Mac tells Maxie, he was young. She was in this impossible situation. But his memory of Dominique is that she was a bright light. She was a sweet, kind, genuine person. Maxie says, but obviously she didn’t hold a candle to mom, and he says, no one could, taking Felicia’s hand. Maxie asks if he was in love with Dominique, and he says, he was, but more important, he wanted to help her. Maxie says, mom told her that Leopold guy was horrible, and Mac says, the worst. The way he treated Dominique like property, Mac was relieved when Dominique got sent to Shadybrook. Maxie says, because it got her away from him. It doesn’t sound like Dominique was the type of person who would have a baby and abandon it. Mac says he knows she wasn’t for a fact. That’s why be believes it happened when Dominique was at Shadybrook. Either they drugged her… Felicia says, or convinced her that she was hallucinating, and Mac says, something. There’s just no way Dominique knew she had a kid out there.  

Sonny says he has to get to a meeting, and Sam thanks him for the lasagna. Dante says, the kids will be excited. He hopes Sonny can join them. Sonny asks if he can bring a plus one. Nina has her own apartment, but she’s staying with him. Sam says, Carly may stop by once in a while. She hopes that’s not a problem for him. Sonny says he doesn’t have a problem with that. Do they have a problem with Nina? Dante says, they’ll make it work. That’s what families do. Sonny says he loves them, and they say they love him too. Sonny leaves, and Dante says, they’re going to enjoy their new home. Sam says, that’s the plan.  

Anna says she’d lay down her life for Robert, but she can’t bring him in on this. Understand? He says he’s not asking her to; this one’s off the books. But the fact Victor is involved makes it so much more dangerous. She says she can take care of herself, and he says, no one knows that better than him. She says, his one condition? and he laughs. He says, they’ve already established he’s old school, and hands her a quarter. She says, what’s this? and he says, cellphones, they break, they get confiscated, they get lost. If it all goes south, who’s she going to call? She says, he does know payphones are obsolete now, and he says, but she’s Anna Devane. She’ll find one.

Victor says, his reputation isn’t exactly sterling, and Lucy says, whose is? He says, for instance, her friend Scott Baldwin may be harboring some ill will toward him, and Lucy says, you could say that. Scotty did say something about exiting a plane at 10,000 feet, but nobody’s perfect, including her. He begs to differ, and she says, how sweet. He says, how about this? They make it a business lunch. She says she doesn’t think they’re in business together, but he says, she’s a partner in Deception, where his son is a major investor. She says, fine. Let’s make it a business lunch then. She has to go change. She’s about to leave, when he grabs her arm, and says, he’s very fond of her, but a word of caution. Don’t waste his time, in business or anything else. He kisses her hand, and she leaves.

Alexis tells Valentin, for all of Nikolas’s faults, and there are many, he actually loves Ava. He says, that’s why Victor is coming to his defense. The police are hyper focused on Nikolas, and not even considering it could be a complete stranger obsessed with Ava. It wouldn’t be the first time. She says, it’s a fair point. It’s just that his motives ring false. He says he’s just looking out for the family, and she says, doesn’t he see? That’s the false part. Since when does he care about the Cassadine legacy?

Robert says he’ll get Anna the book as soon as possible, and she says she really appreciates it. He says, one more piece of advice, and she says, just the one? He says, even if she does manage to nab Victor, there’s always going to be something. She says, he means with Valentin, and Robert says, Valentin isn’t a person who can escape his past. Good luck. He’ll help in any way he can. God knows the world is going to be a better place without Victor, but she’s still going to have that fundamental problem with Valentin, and he thinks she knows it. He leaves, and Anna says, he’s gone. Lucy comes out, and says, this is a very strange place for a meeting. Anna says she didn’t pick it, but Lucy says, it doesn’t matter. She is finished. She is over this. She’s out of here. Finito. Anna says, why? What did Victor do? Lucy says, asked her to lunch.

Alexis says she’ll think about it, and Valentin says, he’ll take it. She gestures toward the table, and says, thanks for that. He didn’t have to. He says, no problem. Maybe the next time they’ll get to have lunch together. She says she’d really like that. How’s Charlotte? She hasn’t seen her in a long time. Valentin says, you and me both. But she’s enjoying her new boarding school, her friends, her horses. Alexis says, and her papa? She bets he misses Charlotte a lot. He says, more than he can tell her, but not for much longer. She asks if he’s planning a visit, and he says, something like that.

Dante says, the boxes are here; he’s in. They’ve just got to unpack them. Where does Sam want to start? She says, before they start, she wants to let him know she actually has a plan; a well thought out, meaningful, methodical plan. He says he thought they could start upstairs and work their way down, or a better idea is to start here, and work their way upstairs to the bedroom. She says, it is good idea, but she has a better idea. She goes over to the box of champagne, and tells him, what does he say they have a toast? He says, she wants to start there? and she says, they have plenty to celebrate. He says he thinks so too, and goes to get a boxcutter.

Britt says, if Austin is trying to pull something… He says he’s not trying to pull anything. Mason is his cousin. She says, right, and he says, Pautuck. She says, except that night on The Haunted Star, he said Mason was just a guy who asked him for a light. He says, Mason is his family. Sometimes he wishes Mason was not his family. She says she knows that feeling, and he leaves. Cody comes down the hall, and says, he got Britt’s text; what’s up? She says, exactly what kind of trouble is he in?

Felicia says, another reason it makes sense that Mac is Cody’s father, if the baby was Leopold’s, he would have wanted it. Not to love and care for, but for a stronger hold on Dominique’s fortune. Maxie says, but if the baby wasn’t his, it would have come between him and the fortune. Mac says, exactly. So Leopold takes the baby Dominque didn’t even know she had – Maxie says, this is so sickand gives it to the Bells to raise. Felicia says, Leopold is killed, and Dominique checks herself out of Shadybrook, and lives the rest of her life without knowing she has a son. Maxie says, without knowing she has a son with Mac.

Sam says she’s definitely going with the best idea ever, and Dante asks, but what happens if they have a few more glasses of champagne? Then they’re completely unmotivated for unpacking. Sam tells him, she would say they should stay unmotivated, and become re-motivated tomorrow. They have all time in the world. He says, they do, and she says she really wants him to feel at home here. He says he does, but she says, she means really at home. Like it’s his place too, not hers with his things in it, but his place. Our place with our things. He says he already feels that way. Rocco is going to be fine. It might take him a bit, but wherever Sam, Danny, and Scout are, that’s home. She says, it’s going to be amazing, and he lifts his glass, saying, to the next chapter. She says, one second, and switches the welcome mat outside with his.  He says he’s never going to live that mat down. She says, now she’s ready for that toast. She loves him. He sets their glasses aside, says, he loves her more than she knows, and they kiss.

They go into an exam room, and Cody tells Britt, he wants to know what he’s accused of and by whom. She says, Mac Scorpio, and he says, never heard of him, but Britt says, he met Mac the night of the picnic; Maxie’s father, and the Chief of Detectives? Cody says, what about him? and she says, that’s what she wants to know. Why is Mac interested in him?

Mac says, the bigger thing is, if it’s true, and Cody is his, then he has an adult son he doesn’t know; that he didn’t know existed. And what does Mac owe him? What does he owe Mac? Does he even want to open that door? Maxie says, those are all fair questions, and Mac says, he needs to know more about this guy, before potentially blowing his world apart, and letting him know that he could be his dad.  

Austin sees Mason, sitting on a hospital bench, munching on something from the vending machine. He says, he made himself clear. He doesn’t want Mason here, and Mason says, Austin can paralyze him as many times as he wants, it’s not going to change anything. Austin’s problem is with somebody else. Just do as he’s told, and he has nothing to worry about. Mason finishes his snack, and leaves.

Valentin says he’s not trying to get Alexis to compromise her journalistic integrity. They’re Cassadines, and if they don’t look out for each other, who will. Victor comes in, and tells them, he couldn’t have said it better himself. Alexis tells Valentin to do what he thinks is best for his family, and she’ll do what she thinks is best for hers. Victor holds the door open for her, and she leaves without a word to him.

Anna says, Lucy has to take that business lunch with Victor, but Lucy says, no. She might be the main course. Anna says, she promised Lucy that she wouldn’t be compromised, right? and Lucy says, but Victor might. Anna says she has every confidence Lucy can get the information she needs without betraying Martin. Lucy says, those words better not be idle, and Anna says, she doesn’t do idle.

Victor says, as eager as he is to hear about Valentin’s headway with Alexis, he has an important meeting. Valentin leaves, and Victor sits down. Someone comes in, and sits across from him. Victor says, nice of you to join me, and Sonny smiles at him.

Tomorrow, Felicia asks what Mac is afraid of knowing, and he says, just knowing might be too high of a price; Maxie tells Britt that she’s starting to think she was wrong; Ava says she deserves to know; and Cody asks if he’s going to need a lawyer.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

When we left, Sutton was crying in Aspen, which has the makings of a country song. It’s morning, and Kyle tells LisaR that she sent a picture of the shoes Kathy arrived in to Paris and Nicky. She doesn’t even want those shoes in her house. Her level of exhaustion is beyond. LisaR says, yesterday was crazy. Diana was out of control, but she’s in pain, and it comes out as rage. Erika comes in, and Kyle asks if she’s going skiing, but she says, she’s going snowmobiling; she’s had some knee surgeries. Kyle says, when she talks to Sutton one-on-one, she gets Sutton’s humor, and Sutton shares with her. But when they’re in the group, she can’t figure Sutton out. Erika agrees, and says, one-on-one, they have great moments, then Sutton does a 180. Kyle says, it’s classic mean girl stuff, talking about unfollowing people. On their way to Kyle’s, Sutton tells Garcelle and Sheree (not that one), she got a good night’s sleep. Garcelle says, last night was rough, and Sutton says she’s here to enjoy the snow and learn new things. She thinks snowmobiling will be challenging, especially since they’re picking up Erika. We flash back to the night before, and Sutton says, they’ll challenge themselves with their non-friend.

Kathy is still sleeping, when Kyle checks on her. She says, they’re going skiing, and Kathy puts a pillow over her head. She complains that there are no hangers, and there isn’t one inch in the closet to put one thing. Kyle finds some hangers, and asks how much space Kathy needs. It’s not a big house. She tells Kathy that Dorit went to Diana’s hotel, and in Kyle’s interview, she says, if the house she was in was triggering her anxiety, she’d leave too. We see a clip of Dorit telling Kyle that she felt uncomfortable, and Diana said she has extra room in a safe building. In her interview, Kyle says she thinks Dorit just likes nice hotels. She tells Kathy not to let her dog out, and leaves. Dorit and Crystal come over, and the ski group heads for the hotel to get Diana. Sheree tells Sutton not to go in looking at Erika as her non-friend, and Sutton says, it’s cool. Sheree says, Erika is  a non-factor. Go and have fun. They pick up Erika, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, yay.  

In Dorit’s interview, she says she hasn’t been on skis in 20 years. She’s secretly freaking out in her head. The ski group picks up Diana, who complains about the altitude. Kyle says, they took some oxygen. After last night, her mind was racing. Diana says she’s going to try being civilized today, and we flash back to her nasty self calling Sutton the c-word. In Diana’s interview, she says, it just came out of her, and she can’t take it back. Kyle tells Diana that Erika is going snowmobiling. She can’t picture Sutton on a snowmobile, let alone with Erica. On the ride to the snowmobile place, you can hear a pin drop, and in her interview, Sutton says, sure is quiet in here. At the T-Lazy-7, snowmobile instructor Jesse tells them, let’s get some helmets going! and they put them on. I already want to punch him out. There are goats and llamas there, but no explanation as to what that’s about. Jesse says, it’s going to be awesome! They’re going to have a great day. No surprise, Sutton gravitates over to the animals. I would too. In Sutton’s interview, she says, animals give her calm; kind of like Jesus. They give her little blessings… Erika is not going to kill you. You’ll be okay…. Jesse says, we’re going action sports, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, Sutton missed the entire instruction on how to drive the snowmobile. They get on, and Garcelle sits behind Sheree, while Sutton and Erika go solo. Sheree says she loves the position of power, and Garcelle says she’s calling an Uber on the way back. Meanwhile, the skiers meet with ski guide Natalie. Diana says she’s feeling the altitude, and in her interview, she says, she grew up skiing. Her father gave her a pair of skis, and said,  there you go. Mauricio meets them, and Dorit says, she’s a little nervous. In her interview, she says, it’s a little scary. All she can think is, don’t break a leg. They get in the gondola lift, and Dorit says, it reminds her of the gondola in Hong Kong. We flash back to Dorit freaking out in the completely transparent car. They start to ski.

Dorit falls, and in Crystal’s interview, she says, it’s a good group; they’re all serious skiers. The worst is Dorit, but that’s because she hasn’t skied in 20 years. All Crystal knows is that she wants to beat everybody. The snowmobilers get to a rest area, Sutton bringing up the rear, and Garcelle says, they made it. Jesse asks if they’d like hot chocolate, hot cider, or tea, and they want vodka and tequila, but he says, you can’t operate motor vehicles and drink. When the skiers are done, they have bloody Marys and snacks. Dorit is the last one there, and she says she’s proud of herself. LisaR says, she picked it right back up, and Kyle says, when she and Mauricio were dating, this is what they did. He gave her the confidence. She bets the others aren’t having as much fun. Erika says she enjoyed snowmobiling, and Sutton says she got nervous. Last night got to her; Diana was tough. Erika says, it got to everybody, and Sutton says, Diana told her that she’s never sincere. She kind of doesn’t care if Diana likes her. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, if she were Sutton, she’d never talk to Diana again. Why would Sutton want to be friends with her? Sutton says, don’t ask her to apologize again, and Garcelle says, she can’t force Diana to receive it. Erika says, don’t yell at her, but there’s something in Sutton’s apologies that’s coming off as not authentic. As someone who gets in trouble with people on Instagram that she shouldn’t, Erika hopes she acknowledges what she’s done wrong. She gets struck up in the moment, and it’s pure emotion; sometimes good, sometimes not. Garcelle says, Diana will be at dinner, and asks what Sutton is going to do. Sutton says she’d rather sit next to Erika, and Erika says, that’s a bold statement. Sutton says she likes Erika, and Erika says she likes Sutton too. In her interview, Garcelle says, she thinks Sutton and Erika would get along if they dropped the bullsh*t. They’re both from the south, they’re both opinionated, and when they let their guards down, they have fun with each other. Garcelle rides behind Sutton on the way back.

Garcelle brings Crystal a pre-dinner tequila, and says, the elevation is killing her, but they had fun. She thinks with Erika and herself, they talk about it, and it’s done yesterday. Crystal says, it’s okay to have two sides, call a spade a spade, and agree to disagree. She runs out of clichés, and says, that’s mature, but the problem is when people expect the final result to be the same. Then they fight forever. Erika tells Kyle that she had a nice time with Sutton, and Kyle wonders if it’s a window of opportunity. Erika says, it was peace. They communicated, and she’ll take it. Garcelle tells Crystal, the whole earring thing is everywhere, and we flash back to their discussion about it. Crystal asks what the other women on Garcelle’s show said, and Garcelle tells her, they said, if you can help the victims, why not give back the earrings? In Garcelle’s interview, she says, the show won’t be airing for a few days, but it’s syndicated, and it’s going to ruffle some feathers. She tells Crystal, it would show she has compassion, not that she’s guilty, and Crystal says, she wouldn’t want them. Crystal wonders if Erika will be wearing them, and Garcelle says, now she’s going to be staring at Erika’s ears. Sutton has a hard time getting in the van, since she’s wearing a short dress and heels, and she’s short. I totally relate. Those vans is high up for us short people.

They meet at a restaurant, and order cocktails. Kathy says she thinks she still has stuff in storage at the Waldorf, and Erika shows Kathy her $1800 clutch that she forgot she had and never used. She says, when you’re moving, you find things you’ve overlooked. She rambles on about some of the incredibly expensive pieces she has, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, Erika is used to a certain lifestyle, and she’s not putting together that, given the situation with Tom, now is not the time to be talking about how expensive your stuff is or how much money you’ve spent. It’s not a good look. What the f***? Garcelle asks if Erika still has the $750K earrings, and Erika says, of course she does. Garcelle wonders what $750K earrings look like, and Erika says she’ll show Garcelle tomorrow. Garcelle asks if she doesn’t want to give them up, and Erika says, she wants to do what’s right. She’s following the letter of the law, and if a judge says, give them up, she will. She didn’t sign the checks; she’s not a lawyer. Garcelle asks if she doesn’t care about suffering people, and Erika says, it’s a property fight. Garcelle asks how she separates the two; she couldn’t do it. Having compassion isn’t saying she’s guilty. Erika asks if they’re stolen, and Garcelle says she doesn’t know. Erika says, she’d tell anyone, she’s not guilty, and how dare anyone say that sh*t about her? She’s fighting like the devil. It’s justice under the law. If she’s a liar, prove it. In her interview, Garcelle says, given Erika’s response, she’s not giving Erika a heads up about The Real. Their dinner is served, and Crystal says she wants everyone’s food. So do I. Kathy is using a janky mesh bag for a purse, and she says she has nice purses, but they were too dressy, and she didn’t want to bring them. In Kyle’s interview, she says, that’s not a purse. It’s a shopping bag from a store that Kathy is trying to pull off as a purse. Aspen is a chic place. Kathy says, you can use it as a halter top or a beach bag, and I’m not sure if she’s kidding.

They all go back to the rental house, and Kyle says, holy smoke show, as she looks around. They have cocktails, and LisaR passes out edibles. In LisaR’s interview, she says, maybe that will get people dancing. This group is so f***ing hardcore and dramatic. She wants to have fun. Kathy asks for everyone’s attention, and promotes some tequila she, Nicky, and James are investors in, that she’s apparently shilled before. She says she wants everyone’s opinion, and suggests they do a bottoms up, but Erika says, the last time she was on the tequila, she cussed out Garcelle’s son. She doesn’t think it’s a good thing for her. Dorit asks Garcelle, what happened at dinner? and Garcelle says, Erika was open about not wanting to give up the earrings. She wants it to go through the legal process. In Diana’s interview, she says, if you’re that passionate about victims, put your money where your mouth is, and donate yourself. Garcelle calls Erika over, saying, they don’t want to talk behind her back. She told them Erika had been open about wanting to go through the legal process in regard to the earrings, and Erika says, she’s not doing anything not required under the law. Crystal asks if there’s something she wants to do, and Erika says, absolutely not. People sued her, she responded, and until a judge decides, that’s it. Diana says, justice is based on facts, and Crystal asks if Erika doesn’t think there’s a story of right versus the law. Erika says, the law takes precedence, and Crystal says she’d give up the earrings. Erika asks, why? To look good? Garcelle says, to show compassion, and Erika asks if Garcelle thinks she doesn’t have any. Garcelle says, she thinks Erika doesn’t want to show any because it might make her seem guilty, and Erika says, she’s not guilty. Garcelle tells her, she’s not saying Erika is, but if she does that, it could look that way. Crystal says, it’s about trying to make people whole, and Erika says, people are made whole in a court of law, not the court of public opinion. Crystal says she’s not talking about public opinion, and Erika yells, yeah, you are! She’s not letting the legal process play out. The law matters, and if you don’t understand that, get out. In her interview, Garcelle says, even if she’s innocent, Erika has had two decades of a lavish lifestyle off the backs of the victims. Erika says, it’s only one side of the story. Does she believe it just because someone said it? What are the facts? Crystal says, there are dead people, and money was stolen from the survivors. Erika asks, where are her facts? and Crystal asks if she’s saying there are no victims. Erika asks if it’s been proven, and in her interview, she says she understands people are dead, but they need to find out what did and didn’t happen to the settlement money. She tells Crystal, it’s not an issue of guilt or innocence. In LisaR’s interview, she says, this is getting in the way of her vibe. If she’d passed out the edibles earlier, everyone would be having Doritos, eating, and laughing. This is bumming her high. Erika says she doesn’t feel for the potential victims; who knows if they are or not? In Kyle’s interview, she says, if she was in Erika’s shoes, she would tell people that she cares, but just be patient with the process. Crystal says, all she thinks about are the victims, and Erika says, they shouldn’t care about anybody else but her. Alrighty then.

Kyle says, it’s not about just the law; there are victims. In Erika’s interview she says, she didn’t work there, she’s not a lawyer, she’s never met these people. Garcelle asks if Erika doesn’t believe there are victims, and Erika says, that is to be litigated. Kyle says she thought it was a given that the money was taken by Tom’s company, but Erika says, no. It’s in litigation. Kyle suggests she have compassion in the meantime, but Erika says, the only person she’s concerned about is herself. Dorit recommends Erika take a deep breath, and Erika asks why she has to pay for the sins of someone she divorced. In Dorit’s interview, she says, Erika says things in the moment that sometimes come out sideways. It’s hard to defend her. She has to take responsibility for what comes out of her mouth. Garcelle says, if Erika gives the earrings back… and Erika says, what happens? In her interview, Erika says, she’s fighting a legal battle. Stop criticizing her for defending herself. Kyle says, it’s Erika not acknowledging the victims that’s the problem, and Erika says, they’re not her victims. F-words are freely being thrown in, and Kathy tells them, stop cursing. Kyle says, people died, and there were people left in the aftermath. She doesn’t believe Erika knew where the money came from, but she’s not showing compassion. Erika asks why she should show compassion for people dogging her. Kyle tells her to stop talking like that and put herself aside, and Erika asks why Kyle is hung up on this. Kyle says Erika needs to be her own victim, and Erika yells she’s not a f***ing victim. She’s a wife left in ruin. If I was on this show, this is where I’d look at the camera like Jim in The Office. Dorit tells LisaR, they need to get her out, and in her interview, LisaR says, it’s getting to the point where you can’t come back. When she senses that, you’ve got to go. Nothing good will come from it. LisaR tells Erika, we’re leaving, and Erika grabs her fur, saying, she’s not caving because people think she should feel some way. Let it play out in court. She’s not taking responsibility for what she didn’t do. She can fight all night with these bitches. In the driveway (heated driveway, I might add), Erika yells, f*** you all! What about the facts?

Inside, Sutton says she was looking forward to a game of shuffleboard, and Garcelle says, it’s not happening, girl.  

Next time, more drinking; setting a cowboy hat on fire; Erika says she’s not apologizing for sh*t; Dorit says, Crystal doesn’t know all the information, and neither does she; and Kathy gets really pissed off over Kyle’s choice of tequila.

She Finally Did It…

It was a long wait, but the fashion show finally had fashions.

https://people.com/tv/rhoa-sheree-whitfield-pulls-off-fashion-show-shocks-costars-14-years-after-first-attempt/

🛸 Beam Me Up Before You Go-Go…

Join me tomorrow for soap and some Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay always remembering your roots, and stay not trying to pull off a shopping bag from a store as a purse. Especially in Aspen.

September 15, 2021 – Drew Tries To Make a Deal, Dorit Reveals Her Wedding Dress Line & Pale

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Harmony tells Sam and Dante, Willow made it clear she wants no part of her life unless she truly changes. So that’s what she’s trying to do so she can be a part of Willow’s life and her grandson’s life. Sam says she has it all wrong. They’re not there to accuse her. They actually need her help. Harmony asks if it has to do with Shiloh, and Sam says, Shiloh… and Drew Cain.

Drew is thrown onto his cot, Russ asks how Drew is feeling, and Drew says, never better. Russ tells him after the beating, maybe he’ll stop trying to escape, and Drew says he’s just trying to figure out where the hell he is. Russ says, paradise, and Drew tells him, and people say he has no sense of humor. He’s been listening to the guards, and a lot of them speak Greek to each other. Is this about the Cassadines? Is that who his big boss is?

Maxie walks into the hospital, dressed up for the wedding, and Britt says, hey there, hot stuff. Where are you headed so dolled up? Maxie looks at the invitation in her hand, and Britt says, right. She forgot. Today’s the day.

Michael comes into the church, finding Jason sitting alone. Jason says Michael is early, and Michael says he thinks the best man should be. Jason’s looking sharp; ready to go. Jason says he’s been ready for a long time.

Still in her robe, Carly checks her makeup, and flashes back to talking to Jason where Jake’s used to be. He tells her the marriage will be real, and she’s not in this alone, then officially asks her to marry him. She smiles, and sighs.

The Tan-O is in flames, and Phyllis and Nina struggle to free themselves behind a wall of fire. Sonny is coming up the walk, and says, what the hell? He runs inside, calling for Nina, and asking if she’s there.

On his way into the church with Olivia, Ned tells her, nothing says wedded bliss like an army of security out front. Olivia says, the third rule of a Corinthos or Corinthos related wedding – don’t skimp on the bodyguards. He says, they got frisked in the parking lot, and she says, maybe it’s a little over-the-top. Just be glad the kids weren’t invited. Imagine what Leo would have made of that. He says, speaking of, and takes out his phone. He just wants to check in at home, and she asks what he thinks is happening. Leo and Rocco are running Brook Lynn and two nannies ragged. He says he just wants to make sure there isn’t any trouble, and she says, with Leo? Why would he think that?

Maxie says she doesn’t mean to pry, and Britt asks when that’s ever stopped her. Maxie says, it seems like this wedding might be really hard for Britt, and she’s sorry. She knows what it’s like being on the outside looking in on somebody else’s happiness, and it’s the worst. Britt says, it’s not ideal. She finally found the guy, and it turns out the guy is eternally taken. Oh well, you gotta keep going, right? Maxie says, you do, and hopefully, one day not too long from now, it’s a little less painful. Britt says, you know what would make this day astronomically better? Maxie says, vodka, and Britt says, that, and her mother plotting Jason’s murder. Inappropriate? Probably, but it would mean she was here, and Britt could stop worrying about her. Maxie says, still no word, huh? and Britt says, no, and she knows if anyone can survive whatever’s happening, it’s her mom, but she is only human. She just keeps thinking, what if this is the one challenge Liesl Obrecht can’t finagle her way through? Maxie says she gets it. She’s worried about Obrecht too. But then she remembers all the crazy things she’s been through, and lived to tell the tale. So no matter what it looks like, the odds are actually in her favor. Wish her luck. There’s her date. Britt turns to see Austin in a suit, and says, her what?

Terry asks if Elizabeth is ready to go. She wants to dance with somebody. Elizabeth says she can’t believe she’s about to do this, and Terry says, what? Have some fun? Elizabeth says, lots of things are fun, like going back to her house, opening a bottle of wine, and watching a movie; Terry’s pick. Terry says, this can’t be the same Biz who used to drag her to raves in high school. Elizabeth says, yeah, three kids ago, and Terry tells her that she needs to cut loose. And pitching a tent with her quasi brother-in-law is not the release she needs. Elizabeth says, tell her about it, and Terry says, that’s it. What exactly happened on that camping trip?

Michael sits next to Jason, and says, you know what’s crazy? This is what he wanted when he was a kid, but he couldn’t let himself fully want it because of Sonny. He loves his dad. At the same time, he knew there was something amazing and unbreakable between Jason and his mom. He’s really happy for them. And he’s happy for himself. Is that selfish? Jason says, no, because when you think about it, Michael was the first significant thing Jason and his mother shared. He was the only child Jason was able to raise as an infant, and the fact that he and Carly are here today, is a large part because of Michael.

Josslyn goes to Carly’s dressing room, and Carly tells her come in. She sees Josslyn’s face, and says, oh no. She thought the makeup artist did a good job… She looks in the mirror, and Josslyn says her makeup is perfect. She’s perfect. Carly says, stop, she’s not even dressed yet, and Josslyn says, it doesn’t matter. She could walk down the aisle in her bathrobe, and still be the most beautiful bride she’s ever seen. Carly says if she needs an ego boost, she knows who to call, but Josslyn says, something is different. It’s like she’s glowing from the inside out. She knew marrying Jason was something Carly wanted, but she felt like something was holding her back. Carly says, because it was.

Sonny calls to Nina, and I guess he finally sees them, because he runs outside and grabs a chair. He’s about to smash the window, when Jax grabs the chair, and says, don’t.

Michael says Jason is giving him too much credit, and Jason says, he and Michael’s mom liked each other before he came along, but it was him being born – them taking care of him, and doing it together for him – showed them the way to love each other. Michael says, in that case, he’s welcome, and Jason tells him, he knows he’s said this before, but today of all days, he has to say it again. It was truly one of the greatest joys and privileges of his life to raise Michael. To watch him grow up and be a part of his life. Jason can’t tell him how much it means to have Michael standing next to him today. Michael says, Jason is marrying his mom, and Jason says, that’s the plan. Michael says it means so much to him too.

Austin says, sorry to keep Maxie waiting. She looks great. She thanks him, and says, he does too. He says, thanks, and tells Britt that they’re going to a Quartermaine affair. All the bigwigs at the hospital are going to be there, so he assumes they’ll see her later. Britt says she wasn’t able to get away. Have fun. She leaves, and he says he knows this one. He said something wrong.

Terry says she’ll get it out of Elizabeth eventually. After she gets Elizabeth’s opinion on this bartender at the club tonight. She thinks he’s totally into her. Maxie comes by, and asks if they’re going out tonight. Elizabeth says, that was the plan, and Maxie says she’s sure they know Britt’s mother is missing, and Jason’s wedding is in her face every five seconds. She looks at Austin, and says, that’s her ex. Austin tells her, he did say something wrong, and Maxie says, she knows Britt’s not their favorite person, but she’s their co-worker. They should have her go out with them. Elizabeth asks if that’s not a little transparent. They’re hardly friends. Maxie says, so be subtle about it. She could use the distraction. It will take her mind off of things. This is a place of healing, isn’t it? This is their chance to heal.

Carly says she got into her head a little bit, and Josslyn asks, how? Carly says she kept coming up with challenges – it’s too soon, what about the business, is it going to change her relationship with Jason? Josslyn says, of course (🍷) it will change it, but in all the best ways, right? Carly says, right. She was looking for a guarantee to make her feel better, but life has no guarantees. As soon as she let that go… Josslyn says, she was free, and Carly says, free to be happy, and live in the moment, and be at peace. She’s marrying Jason, her best friend, who she loves and trusts completely. She’s so excited, even though she has no idea what’s coming. Josslyn says, and she has the perfect partner to handle it with, and Carly says, together, she and Jason can handle anything.

Sonny asks what Jax is doing. There’s a fire in there. He can’t get through, and Nina is inside. Jax says, there could be a backdraft. There has to be another way in. Sonny says, there’s a delivery entrance. Let’s go. They go around the back.

Sam says, maybe Drew’s out there, maybe he’s not, but they’ll never know without having more to go on. Dante says their leads are thin at best, and Alexis says, which is why they came to Harmony. Dante says, ten years ago, Peter handed Drew over to kidnappers, and they know he didn’t do it alone. Sam says, but they think Shiloh helped him, and Harmony says, okay… Dante says, more recently, Peter sabotaged Drew’s plane to go down. They don’t think Shiloh had anything to do with that. Sam says, but maybe someone he knew did, and Harmony says, oh, she gets it. Someone like her.

Drew says, whoever Russ’s boss is, Russ has got to realize they have more use for him than Russ. Why does Russ think he’s still alive? Russ says, it’s a question he asks himself every day, and Drew says, they’re keeping him on ice for a reason. Russ whacks Drew in the knee with his club, and Drew falls to the floor, clutching it. He asks, what was that for? and Russ says, so Drew doesn’t try to jump him like he’s done the last three times. Drew says Russ prides himself on how intimidating this place is, but believe him, Kandahar was way worse. He points at Russ, and says, that’s how he knows, and Russ says, knows what? Drew says, he’s been grabbed by true believers, and Russ isn’t one of them. The only gleam in Russ’s eye is for money, and lucky him, Drew’s got a lot of that. Drew pulls himself back up on his cot, and Russ says, they’ve been through this. Drew says, yet, it’s never computing, and Russ says, maybe he’s not interested. Drew says, that doesn’t make sense. This isn’t a military installation. Russ isn’t a terrorist. He doesn’t live and die by his cause. He’s a mercenary, which means he has no loyalty to anything except his bank account. He’ll pay Russ whatever their paying for Russ to keep him there, and a whole lot more if Russ gets him home. So from a financial perspective, which is the only perspective Russ cares about, he’d be far better served to work with Drew than against him.

Harmony asks if Sam is suggesting she had something to do with the disappearance of her ex-husband, but Alexis says she doesn’t think that’s what Sam meant. Dante says they know she was in custody at the time, and Sam says Harmony is a capable woman; anything can be orchestrated behind bars. Harmony says, if she was so capable, would she be making rent by cleaning up after Ryan Chamberlain? Sam says, then tell her that she had nothing to do with it. Harmony says, visiting hours are wrapping up. She suggests they get a move on. I can’t say I blame her.

Spinelli comes into the church, and tells Jason, gracious greetings on this momentous occasion. Is he ready? Jason says he is, and Spinelli says Carly was one of the first people he met through Jason. He had to work hard to win her over. Jason says he remembers, and Spinelli says he’s always been in awe of their friendship; it was so pure and unwavering. It’s funny. It never occurred to him that they’d wind up together, but now that they have, he can’t imagine it any other way. Jason thanks him, and says, neither can he.

Olivia says, so Austin Wannabe Quartermaine is talking to Ned about Leo? and Ned says, he suggested Leo might benefit from seeing some specialist. She says, what kind of specialist? and he says, someone that can help him communicate better. She says, their son communicates just fine. She understands him perfectly; doesn’t Ned? He says he does, and she says, then what’s the problem? He says, it’s not a problem per se… and she says, don’t per se me. He says, it’s just something Austin thought they might want to follow up on, and she says, then he’s making a Federal case out of nothing. The same guy who tried to weasel his way into their family, using poor, innocent Chase to do it. Ned says he got the impression Austin was genuinely concerned, and she says, then he’s overreacting. Leo cut his finger; end of story. He’s overreacting. Ned says, what if he’s not?

Carly says, what is it? and Josslyn says, what’s what? Carly says she can tell Josslyn wants to ask her something, and Josslyn asks how she does that. Carly says, it’s a mom thing. What is it? Josslyn says she doesn’t know if it’s the appropriate time to bring it up, but Carly says there’s no inappropriate between them. Josslyn can ask her anything at any time. Josslyn tells her, when she said that thing about worrying if it was too soon to get married… Carly says, she thought about Sonny. Josslyn asks if Carly is thinking about him too, and Carly says she always thinks about Sonny. He’s always with her, but today she’s marrying Jason. He’s her best friend, and she loves him, and she’s so proud that she gets to say her vows with Josslyn standing beside her. Josslyn says she can’t wait, and Carly says, then let’s get me ready to get hitched. Josslyn says not before she gives Carly this, and brings out a jewelry box.

Nina and Phyllis have passed out, when Jax and Sonny run in. Jax tries to rouse Phyllis, while Sonny asks if Nina can hear him. Wake up. If I were them, I’d just drag Nina and Phyllis out, chairs and all. This is no time for pesky details.

Russ looks out in the hallway, and closes the door. He says Drew has a lot of confidence for a guy in a cell, and as he walks past Drew, Drew hits him from behind, and he falls. Russ gets up, and asks why Drew didn’t take him out, and Drew says, he would have gotten halfway down the corridor, and Humpty and Dumpty would have built their brick wall. His ribs hurt already, the only car available is gone. The great escape is not his ticket out of there. Russ is. Help him, and he’ll help Russ in return. Russ says Drew is dead, remember? Dead men don’t need bank accounts. Drew says he won’t be dead much longer.

Dante asks if Sam is hungry. There’s an Eisenhower era cupcake in the vending machine, and he’ll rock-paper-scissors her for it. Sam say she totally screwed that up, going for Harmony like that. It was so stupid. He tells her not to be so hard on herself, and she says, so she didn’t screw it up? He says he wouldn’t go that far. He gets that it’s not easy for Sam, breathing the same air as that woman. She says, her mom is doing a good job, and he says, in her mom’s defense, it’s probably Harmony or a serial killer or something. On the other side of the room, Alexis tells Harmony, for what it’s worth (🍷), she doesn’t think Sam believes Harmony had anything to do with Drew’s disappearance. Harmony says, she could have fooled me, and Alexis says, Sam has been through a trauma. Harmony says she knows it’s difficult, and knows she deserves Sam’s scrutiny, but she meant what she said. She’s just trying to turn her life around. She goes to bed every night hoping tomorrow she’ll wake up, and not be reminded of the past or the crimes she committed in Shiloh’s name, or the people she’s hurt. That day is yet to come. Alexis says, but she still goes to bed with some hope, right? The minute they stop doing that, they become that criminal or that disease, and that’s never going to change.

Outside the church, Austin asks Maxie to stop, and says he has a quick question. Are there any other fraught social situations he has to look forward to at the wedding? He doesn’t want to miss offending someone else today. She says she thinks it’s too late to make a first impression on the core Quartermaines, and he says, that ship has sailed. She says, she wouldn’t ask Jason about his line of work… or how he met Carly. Or… You know what? Just don’t talk to him at all. He says, he’ll tell Jason, congratulations, and she says, perfect. He sees Ned and Olivia near the door, and asks if Maxie can give him a second. She says, sure, and stays outside, messing with her phone, while he goes in.  

Spinelli tells Jason, it’s terribly painful when you love someone and realize your lives are going in different directions. It’s no one’s fault, but it gets to the point of where staying together means you’ll no longer be your true selves. Jason says he’s sorry, but Spinelli says, don’t. He’s not talking about the situation to dwell on it, but to shine a light on how happy he is for Jason. Jason and Carly accept and understand each other completely, so that day will never happen for Jason. They say marriage is a test. Jason has already passed with flying colors. Maxie says, sorry to interrupt. Not really, because it’s her job. She tells Jason, everything seems to be in order. She spoke to the director, Carly’s putting on her final touches. Nothing else to do but keep everyone on schedule. Spinelli says, and get married, and she says, yes, and get married. Jason says, that he can do. 

On the phone, Britt asks Scotty if he’s heard anything… She knows. She just thought they’d know more by now. She figured Anna was more likely to reach out to him more than her. Just please keep her in the loop… Thanks. Hey, does he think her mom is okay?… She laughs and says, right. Pretty soon, whoever has her will be begging to give her up. Talk soon. At the reception desk, Terry tells Elizabeth, she does look pretty upset. Elizabeth says, she knows, and Terry says, but the DJ is doing a Whitney Houston retrospective tonight. Elizabeth says, it’s Terry’s call. Britt is her Co-Chief. But Elizabeth is Terry’s friend, so whatever she wants to do, Elizabeth is in.    

Carly says Josslyn didn’t have to give her anything, but Josslyn says she did; she’s the maid of honor. It’s a delicate gold chain bracelet with the symbol for eternity in the middle. Josslyn says, originally, she wanted it to check all the boxes; old, new, borrowed, blue. But she realized the old tradition is about warding off the evil eye with good luck, and that’s bull, because Carly never relies on luck or just takes what life hands her. Carly says, that’s not her style, and Josslyn says Carly sees more than what’s offered, and fights for better than what she gets. She makes the impossible possible, and isn’t that what today is about? It’s proof that losing one love doesn’t make it impossible to find another. Carly says, know what she thought was impossible? Loving Josslyn more than she already does, but it just happened. They hug, and Josslyn says she loves Carly too.   

Jax gets Phyllis untied, and Sonny tells Nina, don’t you dare go anywhere. Phyllis comes to, and says, Jax? He asks if she can stand up, and as he walks her out, she says, Nina? Sonny tells them, just go. He’ll get Nina out. Jax takes Phyllis out, and Sonny tells Nina, stay with him. He loves her too much to lose her. She says she loves him too, and kisses his forehead. Um… They might want to get moving.

Spinelli says, as usual, Maxinista, you’ve outdone yourself, but Maxie says, save the congratulations until after the vows are said and the cake is cut. As they know, anything could go wrong. He says he’s available to troubleshoot should the need arise, and she says, and save a dance for her, she hopes. He says, if Austin won’t mind, and she says, let him.

Austin tells Ned and Olivia, daddy used to say it’s not a Quartermaine wedding until someone throws a drink or there’s a duel at dawn. What do they think they have to look forward to today? Olivia asks if he’s serious. He’s going to stand there and act all folksy and familiar with her? One of the gang? He says she seems angry, and she says she is angry. Quit nosing around her kid. He asks how Leo is, and she says, he’s perfect. He says she never brought him by for the follow-up they talked about, and she says, Ned took Leo to his actual pediatrician, who said – wait for it – everything’s perfect. Austin tells her, he’s not suggesting there’s anything wrong with Leo, and she says, he kinda was. He says, he’s only suggesting everyone might benefit from another specialists opinion. She says, or he’s using her kid to worm his way into this family, the same way he used Chase’s crumbling marriage. He asks if she thinks he would manipulate a child to improve his situation in business, and she says, would he? He says, no, he woudn’t. Look at it this way, either way, she wins. Either she proves him wrong, and he hopes she does, or she gets valuable medical information, and they can figure out what to do next. Michael and Jason come out, and Michael asks if there’s a problem. Olivia says, yeah. A big one.

Terry walks past the reception desk, and Britt says, heading out? Terry says, she has plans. And Britt? Britt says, does she have plans or is she going out? Terry says, either one, and Britt says her plan is to catch up on email. Terry says, don’t stay too late, and Elizabeth runs out. She tells Terry, they’ve got a problem. Terry asks, what’s wrong? and Elizabeth says, she tried to update a shared document about the meeting, and she must have pressed the wrong button because it’s just gone. Terry says, the whole thing? and Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what happened. Terry says, there goes her night out, but Britt says, maybe she can help.

Carly says, enough of this or she’ll have to call Angela to redo her makeup. Josslyn says, then she probably shouldn’t tell Carly this. Cam proposed. Carly says, what?! and Josslyn says they’re going to do the chicken dance tonight. Carly tells her, don’t do that again, and Josslyn says, don’t worry. She’s a long way away from getting married. Carly says, years and years and years, and a few more years after that. Someday Josslyn will find someone to love and spend the rest of her life with. When that happens… Josslyn says, if that happens, and Carly says, it will. When that happens, her wish for Josslyn will be that she’s as sure of the person she’s marrying, as Carly is about Jason. Josslyn says she wishes that too.   

Jax deposits Phyllis on one of the patio chairs outside. She asks where Nina and Mike are, and tells Jax, don’t worry about her; go help them. Jax says he’ll be back, and goes inside, while Phyllis coughs her head off. Sonny gets Nina untied, and helps her up. They’re almost out the door, when he looks up. He pushes her out of the way, as a beam comes crashing down on him. Jax grabs her to keep her from going back, and pulls her out. What did I say?

Alexis tells Sam and Dante, she talked to Harmony. She was hoping to convince her to help, but doesn’t know if she was successful. Dante says they’re about to find out right now, when Harmony joins them. She says she can give them a name, and Dante says they’ll take whatever she’s got. She says, Dallas Kirby. Shiloh knew him from his days in the military, and would reach out to Dallas when he needed help… removing an obstacle. Sam thanks her, and Harmony says, be careful. She never met Dallas; she didn’t want to. But all of Shiloh’s associates were dangerous. Sam says, so are they.

Drew looks out the door window, and tells Russ, his nurse is gone. Russ suggests she was apprehended, but Drew says, let’s say she’s not. Where does he think her first stop will be? He’s guessing the U.S. Consulate… or a five-star hotel. He thinks they can both agree she’s completely believable; there’s nothing untrue or fake about her. Chloe is going to tell her story, and it will be backed up by their good friend the internet. Someone is going to enter her name into a search engine, and bingo; who she is, where she’s from, all of it. And their dark little site there, isn’t going to be dark for much longer. Russ is running out of time, so come on. When his boss gets wind of this, he’s got a reason to keep Drew alive, but Russ, not so much. They’ll want to cover their tracks, and he’s a goner. On the radio, Russ hears the guards saying there’s no sign of Chloe, and Drew wonders what’s closer, a hotel or the U.S. Consulate. His offer still stands.

Terry says she can probably reconstruct the notes from memory, but Britt says, two heads are better than one. Terry says, it’s her staff meeting; Britt won’t even be there. Britt says, true, but they’re both Co-Chiefs, and if one of them doesn’t do well at the job, neither of them does. Terry says, you win, and Elizabeth says she’s so sorry. Britt tells her, next time, just be careful. She gives Elizabeth her credit card, and says, maybe they can order pizza. Whatever toppings they want. It’s going to be a late night. Elizabeth looks at Terry, who smiles.

Maxie comes out, and asks if she just heard the word problem. That can’t be right. There are no problems today. None. Nada. Zip. At least none that can’t be postponed until after the wedding. Right, everyone? Ned says, absolutely, and suggests Olivia come with him to check out the flower arrangements in the chapel. Olivia says she already saw them when Maxie ordered them, but he says they can see how they turned out, and steers her away. Maxie says, and Austin. He says, yes? and she says she did mention that she planned the wedding. He says, of course (🍷) she did, and she says, which means she chose the color theme, arranged the flowers, music, reception, and the ten million other details. She did this in less than a month, which is a near super human feat. So please, try not to torpedo it. Michael says, the first, and hopefully the last, crisis averted, and Spinelli tells Jason, it’s time to take his place and await his bride. Jason says, let’s do it.

Josslyn puts the bracelet on Carly, and says, the finishing touch. Carly thanks her again, and Josslyn says she’s just glad Carly likes it, and Carly says she loves it. She stands in front of the mirror, and asks what Josslyn thinks. Josslyn tells Carly, she knows what she said about the bathrobe, and it’s true, but the dress… Carly says, it’s a step up, right? and Josslyn says, it’s almost as stunning as the woman in it. Is she ready? Carly says she is. Let’s get married.

Nina struggles as Jax pulls her outside. He says he’s not letting her go back in; it’s too dangerous. She says she can help him, but Jax won’t let her go. She yells, please, Mike, get out of there! She knows he can do it.

Sonny lies unconscious, as everything burns around him.

Tomorrow, Ned says Austin may be on to something, Trina tells Cameron it’s been quite a day, Spinelli can neither confirm nor deny, and Maxie says, let’s get this show on the road.

The Erika Show Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit and PK had someone personally deliver the invitations to Dorit’s bridal dress launch/reveal, along with a white rose. Dorit met with party planner Nick, and in her interview, she said, it never rains in L.A. Unless you’re planning a big party outside. She might be a virgin in the bridal business, but she was a pro when it came to throwing parties. We flashed back to some of those, including the Boy George appearance. Dorit and Nick FaceTimed with designer Nektaria. Dorit explained that she wanted to create an atmosphere that seemed like the guests were going to a wedding. She wanted them transported into the mindset of what the dresses represented.

Kathy invited Erika, Kyle, and LisaR to her house for a session with Reiki master Lejla, who also put a 24 karat mask on their hands and faces. LisaR and Kathy went first, while Kyle chatted with Erika – i.e. pumped her for information. Kyle asked about Sutton, and Erika said that door was closed; they weren’t working through it. She didn’t need it in her life. She then told Kyle that Tom’s house had been broken into. He’d confronted the burglar, and now needed eye surgery. How we got from a burglary to eye surgery, was a blank space. Afterward, Erika’s son went to check on Tom in the hospital, and ran into snow on his way back, flipping his car five times. Where he hit this snow was also unclear. In Kyle’s interview, she said it was a pattern with Erika. They would find out later there was a big situation going on that she’d kept to herself. When she withheld information, it made it hard to support her. Her story sounded unbelievable. That didn’t mean Kyle didn’t believe her, but it sounded unbelievable. Yeah. I’m starting to think so too. Especially since Erika seems dead behind the eyes.

Garcelle’s dating coach Damona came by, and we flashed back to their last meeting. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, after her divorce, trust issues kept her from dating. Call her old school, but she didn’t want to swipe to meet someone. Damona had called upon matchmaker Bonnie, and Garcelle had submitted her list. She wanted a strong, confident man, who knows who he is. A great father if he had kids, as well as good to his mom, and confident enough to let her be her. He needed to be monogamous, kind, sexy, and know how to dance. She would do the cooking. Bonnie showed her a picture of a guy with abs for days, who looked a little like Kevin Costner. Kyle visited Crystal, who talked about how she and her husband were reconstructing the basement to the tune of six-figures. Down from a million. In Crystal’s interview, she said her father was frugal, and so was she, but Rob, not so much. She did spend money on things that increased in value, like her $95K Hermes bag, and renovation would appreciate their home. They talked about Erika and Sutton, which is already getting old, and how Garcelle felt like an outsider. Crystal thought Garcelle didn’t have a large circle of close friends. She was more guarded, and took more time to open up.

Dorit and PK had dinner with Kyle and Mauricio. Kyle passed along Erika’s story to Dorit, adding another car flip, and making it six. Dorit repeated the story at dinner, and told PK and Mauricio about the other accident Erika claimed Tom had. PK wondered what the odds were statistically for Tom to have two of those accidents, and thought it was impossible. Dorit asked if he was suggesting Erika wasn’t telling the truth, and PK said he was suggesting Erika was still being controlled. Mauricio said there were lies all over the place, and in Kyle’s interview, she said this was making her question herself. It was more difficult when you were closer to the situation. Dorit admitted there were details missing, but didn’t believe Erika was lying. In Dorit’s interview, she wondered why anyone would make up a story that difficult to believe. Dorit brought up PK’s opinion on Erika’s Instagram, and PK said he loved a comeback, but Erika wasn’t going to get one if she couldn’t break loose of the shackles she was in.

Everyone got ready for Dorit’s party, and in Dorit’s interview, she said, if it hadn’t been for covid, she would have had a bigger launch. It would have been in a warehouse, with the models on 15’ ladders, and clouds in the sky, but she had to scale back, and was doing it in the house. At least it was going to be special, and she was definitely throwing money at it. Sutton brought boyfriend Michael, and was understandably nervous. In Crystal’s interview, she said she was floored. It felt like she was at a wedding. I had to agree, it was beautiful; all white, and gold, and white roses. Erika showed up wearing a crazy ponytail hanging from a hoop in her hair; Kathy brought architect Jesse, I guess as a friend; and LisaR had a hard time getting up the steps, her pencil skirt was so tight. Apparently, scaled back meant no one except the people in the cast.   

Before dinner, Dorit turned everyone’s attention to a glass wall with a curtain behind it. In her interview, she said putting her name on something meant it was her work, creativity, and design. The curtain rose, and the models were there, displaying Dorit’s collection. In Sutton’s interview, she said the models were beautiful, and the dresses were beautiful. Dorit pulled it off. And she’d been to a lot of fashion shows. Dorit thought that since her friends were fashionable, their opinions were a good indication of how her dresses would be received. It was a euphoric feeling. Everyone sat down, and Dorit’s daughter Phoenix kicked the pseudo runway show off by playing flower girl, and scattering rose petals. The models came out, one by one, as Dorit described each style, concluding with the one she was wearing. In LisaR’s interview, she said it was a far step from Beverly Beach. One design used 14,000 pearls, and Kyle thought her entire wedding probably cost as much as the dress did. Afterward, there was a lot of applause, dinner was served, and Dorit said, mission accomplished. The doorbell rang, and Harry joined them, Kathy saying, they hadn’t seen him since they brought covid to his house. He talked to Erika, asking how she was holding up, and everyone congratulated him on his upcoming role as Tom Brokaw, after which he did a mean imitation. Dorit told everyone to mingle, as much as you can mingle with a handful of people, which basically meant the guys split off from the women and went outside. In this week’s edition of Kathy’s caper, Kyle told everyone that Kathy thought the photo of Bernie Sanders in mittens was the new Elf on a Shelf. She wondered who this old man was she was seeing everywhere. Does this woman never read a paper, look at the news, read a book, look at anything other than her place settings? It’s definitely amusing, but also mind-boggling.

Kyle said Garcelle had everyone up in arms over a social media comment that went everywhere. She’d said people were coming after her, and she was going to be coming after them. In Garcelle’s interview, she said when she’d made the comments, it was after LisaR’s lip kit launch (try saying that five times, real fast), when things were heated. Dorit demanded to know who Garcelle was talking about, and Garcelle said, Dorit, for one. Dorit insisted she hadn’t come after Garcelle, and in her interview, she said, if Garcelle had a problem, she should voice it. Don’t just be provocative to be interesting. No comment. She said she thought they’d moved past their issues, and Garcelle said she could still have her opinions. Dorit said she spoke four languages, and it didn’t make sense in any of them.

LisaR, who was sitting at the table with Erika, wondered if they should go over, but Erika said she wasn’t doing that. Garcelle said she felt like no one stood up for her at LisaR’s launch except Sutton. No one ever took her side. Dorit said she didn’t believe Garcelle was an outsider, and Garcelle had to explain it was how she felt, and had nothing to do with what Dorit thought. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, LisaR claimed she wanted to repair the friendship, but never stood up for her. Now she was just watching. In LisaR’s interview, she said Garcelle had been called out for being jabby and shady. If she felt like injustice had been done, she’d say something, but Garcelle was a big girl. Translation: she’d only back someone up if she got something out of it. Harry wondered if it was safe, but LisaR told him, no, and he wisely retreated back to the patio. In her interview, Garcelle said, Dorit wanted the truth, but could she handle it? She’d be honest and see how it went.    

Next time, the Grand del Mar, seals mating ,Erika asks why Sutton is talking to her, and Garcelle says that she’s tried to fit in her whole life.

🛺 Getting a Move On…

See you next time with soap and Million Dollar highlights. Until then, stay safe, stay crazy like a fox, and stay not negating anyone’s feelings, no matter how many languages you speak.