What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis wanders into Charlie’s and sits at the bar. The bartender pours her a glass of champagne.

At The Savoy, Doc says, so the official mayoral party-hopping duties are over, right? and Laura says, yep. He says, this stop is just for them to have fun, and she says, you bet. Felicia comes in with Mac, and says they’re thrilled to have Laura back, but Laura says, not half as thrilled as she is to be home. Mac says he’s making a New Year’s resolutions to keep the city as safe as possible, so Laura never has to leave again. Doc says, except for their trip to Paris, and Laura says, a trip to Paris with the man she loves, ringing in the New Year with old friends; the year is shaping up pretty well.

Maxie asks where Anna’s date is, and Anna says she’s kind of like Cinderella in reverse. Her date left at midnight. Maxie says, home to relieve the babysitter? but Anna says, there was no babysitter. It was Charlotte. She had a friend over, and persuaded Valentin that they could see in the New Year unsupervised, but at 12:15, Valentin went home. Maxie says she remembers the first year she was allowed to stay up unsupervised without a babysitter; it was a big deal. Anna says, it’s a right of passage really, and Maxie says she’s sorry Anna’s date was cut short, but it gives them a chance to talk. She knows she was really hard on Anna about Peter, but that was so last year. Can they have a fresh start? Anna gets up and hugs Maxie, saying, there’s nothing she’d love more. Especially now that Peter’s no longer a threat. Maxie says, this time next year, he’ll be nothing but a bad memory.

A guard stands outside Peter’s hospital room when Victor comes out of the elevator in a tux. Britt tells him, stop right there. Visiting hours ended long before the ball dropped in Times Square. And isn’t it time he returned that rental tux? He says, happy New Year to her too. He could hardly ring in 2022 without paying his respects to her brother. She says Victor certainly has a lot to celebrate. While he walks around a free man without a care in the world, his partner in crime may never wake up.

Austin tends to Peter. One of Peter’s fingers moves.

On the footbridge, Carly says, for a moment, she thought… and Drew says, must be the moonlight, and the night mist. She says, or maybe she just wanted it to be him. He says, Jason could always find peace in this place. He was hoping the same magic would work for him. She says, the magic’s gone, and so is Jason, and looks out over the water.

Nina brings Sonny to… I don’t know where, a fancy apartment or house, and he says, we’re here. You’ve done your civic duty. She played designated driver, and now he’s got everything he needs right here. He thanks her, and pours a drink. He sees her watching him, and says he’s not going to drive drunk; he can’t find his keys, remember? That’s why she drove him. And he’s certainly not going to make things worse, because they can’t get any worse. He calls out, hi, honey! I’m home!

Alexis stares at the champagne for a moment, then picks it up. She says, happy New Year, and turns to see Harmony.

Maxie tells Anna, she’s so ready to say goodbye to 2021. She wants to start the new year with a new attitude. She took on Peter, and lived to tell about it. Anna says, yes, she has, when Felicia joins them, saying, happy New Year. She hugs Maxie, and asks if Anna can convince her daughter that it’s time to let them do what they do best. Maxie says, look gorgeous? and Felicia says, that too, but she’s serious. She took a step back because Maxie asked her to, but it’s a new year. Let her and Anna put their skills together to find Maxie’s baby and bring her home.

Doc sits with Mac and Anna, and says, if Mac really wants to keep Laura safe, keep Cyrus in prison. Mac says he understands Laura paid him a visit in Flatland, and she says, she went to see him before she came home. Mac asks if it’s true he found religion, and she says, so he claims, but to be honest, she’s less worried about her brother than another potential menace close to home. Mac says, Victor Cassadine.

Victor tells Britt, it’s true he and Peter had a business arrangement, but that was long before he was made aware of Peter’s many grievous crimes. Britt says she knows Victor was behind her mother’s abduction. He delivered her mother into Peter’s hands. He says, fortunately, dear Liesl survived. Pity the same thing can’t be said for Jason Morgan. He’s sorry; did he hit a nerve?

Austin starts to leave, but Peter grabs his arm. His eyes are open.

Drew tells Carly, he’s not a big New Year’s guy. Some people love to get out there and party, but more often than not, he likes to keep things quiet. Well, there’s quiet and locked in a cell, which is where he spent his last two New Years. So this year, he celebrated by dropping by to visit Scout with a pair of those funny glasses. Carly smiles, and he says, it’s so much more than he could have imagined six months ago. His little girl goes to bed long before midnight, and he didn’t know what to do, so he came here. Anyway, that’s him. He’s guessing she’s here because she misses her best friend. If she wants to talk about it, he’s a pretty good listener.

Sonny asks if Nina knows this place, but she says, she can’t say she does. He says, he bought it in 1994. Before that, he lived above his nightclub called the Paradise. Stone was like a little brother to him, and he was sick. He wanted to make Stone more comfortable, so he bought Stone this place, and he stayed for a couple of years, until he went out by the lake. Sonny couldn’t get rid of it; too much history. He doesn’t know why he’s telling her this. He should know better. She says she’s not his enemy. She swears she didn’t know Willow was going to testify, but he says, she knew Willow overheard them talking about Nixon Falls, and what they were to each other, and didn’t tell him. She didn’t give him a heads up. She says she never dreamed Willow would be forced to testify about them, and she certainly didn’t tell Scotty. She thought it was over. He says, that’s half-truth, and takes a slug straight from the bottle. She suggests maybe he stop drinking. He’s going to have a headache in the morning. He says, it’s his headache to have, because he earned it. She says she hates to leave him like this, but she’s clueless how to help him. She starts to leave, and he says, wait; don’t go.

Alexis says, of all the gin joints in the world, Harmony had to walk into hers, and Harmony says, can Alexis believe Willow didn’t even call to wish her a happy New Year? She’s been trying the entire year to improve her life; staying out of trouble. You’d think the New Year would be the perfect time to cut someone a break, but no; not even a generic text message or a photo of Wiley. She got nothing. It’s not like she expected to get invited to the Quartermaine’s mansion to watch football. She doesn’t even like football. She guesses she kind of likes the halftime show and creative commercials… Alexis says she’s not very sporty, but thinks Harmony is talking about the Superbowl. Harmony tells the bartender that she’s fine, and says, all she really cares about is being with family, but she guesses Willow still views her as an embarrassment. My mother, the ex-true believer, the ex-enabler, who can only get a job working with other misfits at a minimum security prison. Happy New Year to her. Alexis says, this is really helpful. She’s so engaged in Harmony’s problems, she forgot how much she might enjoy that cocktail.

Maxie says, this is the first time Anna and Felicia have been in the same room since Sean Donnelly’s memorial service. No arguing, no yelling; it’s nice to see them acting like friends again, but she doesn’t need their help. By this time next year, Louise will be back in her arms, she just knows it. She leaves, and Felicia says she loves Maxie’s faith, but sometimes faith alone just isn’t enough. Anna says, tell her about it. Is Maxie right about them? Are they friends again?

Mac tells Laura, it wasn’t his call to release Victor. The WSB cut a deal. She says she knows it was out of his hands, and to his credit, Victor kept up his end of the bargain, and gave them the information they needed. So if Peter’s reign of terror is actually over… Doc says, if? The man is in a coma. Laura says, that’s a relief, but Victor’s a free man. Mac says, free to do what? and she says, that’s what she’s afraid of.

Victor says he understands Britt and Jason were an item back in the day, apparently not grasping the concept of back in the day, since it wasn’t that long ago. Something to do with him getting stabbed in Pentenville and coming here for treatment. Then the two of them making a daring escape and being on the run for weeks. It must have been quite an adrenaline rush. She says, it’s none of his business, and he says, then Peter put an end to Jason. It’s all so sad, but he had nothing to do with it. He was in WSB custody at the time of the tunnel collapse. A woman in scrubs runs past them to Peter’s room, and Britt asks Austin, what happened? Are they losing Peter? He says, just the opposite. The patient is awake. Victor says, Peter is out of his coma? and Austin says, yes. He removed Peter’s ET tube, and Peter is having a hard time speaking, but made it clear he wants to see someone. Britt says there’s no way she’s letting him see Maxie, but Austin says, the person he wants to see is Victor.

Carly tells Drew, she came there because she didn’t know where else to go. The person she could always trust, and could always turn to, isn’t there anymore. Drew says, because Jason died on Cassadine Island, and he came back.

Nina asks what Sonny wants from her, and he says, isn’t it the other way around? Doesn’t she want to hear what happened after Willow dropped that bomb in the hearing room, and Carly left, and he went after her? She says, that’s between him and Carly, but he says, Nina is just as much a part of it as anyone else. Let’s not pretend. She says, all right. What happened after he chased after Carly? She sits and says, tell her everything.

Harmony says Alexis is giving her too much credit. She’s not a therapist. They’re not even friends, which is what they established when she ran into Alexis at Rice Plaza. They had a brief connection at Spring Ridge, but now Alexis is on the other side. Alexis says she’s an ex con, but Harmony says, they both know she’s more than that. Alexis says, do they? Her daughters think she can reinvent herself. Her friends do too, but she dipped her toe in the water, and she’s forgotten how to swim. Harmony says, so go buy some water wings, and Alexis says, that’s the best she’s got? With all her experience at Spring Ridge, she’d have thought Harmony could come up with something more inspiring. Harmony asks what magic words Alexis wants to hear; that life’s hard, rise above? In case she didn’t notice, Harmony also ended up alone on New Year’s, until she ran into Alexis, of course (🍷). And even if she could come up with some sympathetic words to talk Alexis off the ledge, what about tomorrow, or the next day? At some point, Alexis is going to have to help herself. Alexis says, okay, okay. She’s just trying to do the best she can. Harmony says, really? She thinks Alexis came here hoping to find Kristina working, so she could put the responsibility on her daughter. So she could have Kristina help stop her from drinking, since she clearly can’t stop herself.

Felicia says she never thought she and Anna stopped being friends. Their friendship just suffered a speedbump in the road. She was terrified for her daughter, and desperate to find her grandchild. Anna says, and she was the one who let Peter get away, but Felicia says she knows Anna was just giving him a chance to save himself. Maybe she would have done the same thing in Anna’s place, but she’d like to think she would have given a friend a warning. Anna say she understands that, and the truth is, she gave Peter way too many chances. Felicia says, the bottom line is, Anna brought Peter to justice, and Anna says, she didn’t do it alone. She had help. Felicia says she meant what she said about the two of them teaming up to find Louise, and Anna says she’s in, whatever it takes. Felicia says she’s pleased to hear Anna say that. She knows there’s a lead out there; something everyone has missed. And she knows the two of them can find it.

Maxie watches Felicia and Anna from the bar, and Mac asks if she’s okay.

Laura tells Doc that she thinks she’s going to ask Valentin to meet her for coffee next week. They have a lot of catching up to do. Doc asks, to touch base about Charlotte, or get information about her grandfather? and she says she was absolutely shocked to find out Valentin was Victor’s son. But now that she’s had a little time to think about it, she thinks there’s a way to use their relationship to everyone’s advantage.

Britt asks Victor, what’s the matter? He was so eager to talk to Peter when he was in a coma. Now Peter is awake and asking for him. He’s getting cold feet? Austin says, he doesn’t think there’s anything to be afraid of. Peter is pretty weak. He doesn’t think Peter is a threat to anyone. Britt says, or is Victor the threat? Victor says, perhaps he can shake the tree a little and find out something about Maxie’s missing child. He holds out his arms, and the guard frisks him. Britt says she’ll give him ten minutes, but Austin says, he thinks five should do it. Victor goes into Peter’s room, and says, look at him. Back in the land of the living. Did he learn that trick from his father? Peter motions him closer, and says, Victor betrayed him, but Victor says, to be fair, Peter betrayed him first. It’s just business; nothing personal. Now that he’s free perhaps he can help Peter. No. Actually he’s the only person in the whole wide world who can help Peter.

Carly tells Drew, Jason knew the risk. He always did what he had to do. That’s just who Jason was. Drew says he finally got to know Jason a little bit in Greece. Peter was keeping them prisoner, and had them chained to a wall in a wine cellar. They were talking about how to escape and how to bring down Peter, and how much they hated the bastard. He guesses it was mostly him. Jason didn’t waste a lot of breath venting or swearing vengeance. She says, that wasn’t his style, and Drew says, at one point, Peter made a mistake that Jason predicted, and Jason kind of smiled. He thinks Jason actually laughed, but he’d thought he was hallucinating for a second. Jason knew they had what they needed to bring Peter down, and looking back, in that moment, he and Jason became a team. They did it; they stopped Peter. She says, at a terrible price, and he says he doesn’t know what brought her here – it’s none of his business – but if she doesn’t blame him for Jason not being here, is it possible she blames herself?

Sonny tells Nina, after Carly left the hearing, she didn’t stop until she got to a park. He finally caught up with her and tried to explain to her… He’s about to pour another drink, but puts the glass down, saying, Nina is right. Alcohol doesn’t do anything to ease the pain. She says, he can’t do it. Even when he feels this rage and guilt, not to mention way to much scotch, he can’t betray Carly’s trust by talking behind her back. She guesses he doesn’t need any words. He’s not with Carly tonight, and that very much says it all. He’s here in a place that’s not his home anymore with a woman who’s not his wife.

Harmony apologizes for the low blow, and Alexis says, there’s a lot of bars she could have gone to. Maybe she did come in there looking for her daughter. Harmony says, the reason she went low is, she doesn’t trust herself with those high minded phrases. When she was with Dawn of Day, she kept Shiloh’s book of wisdom at her fingertips. It made her feel powerful, especially with those lost souls looking for answers, but those phrases are just an illusion. The reality is, she works at Spring Ridge, mostly listening to prisoners, in between doing her grunt work, hoping one day her daughter learns to trust her again. Alexis says, it appears they’re looking for answers in all the wrong places. Perhaps they should just try looking in a mirror.

Laura tells Doc that she thinks Victor will be looking to spend more time with Valentin, which puts Valentin in a unique position to work Victor for information. Doc says, and relay that information to her, and she says, hopefully. Despite his bad character, he’s very devoted to Charlotte. She thinks he’ll realize that stopping Victor is what’s best for Charlotte too. Doc says, even so, can she expect one Cassadine to turn on another? She says she knows that family well, and she’s counting on it, and he says, he’s counting on a more private celebration. As mayor, her car is on standby. She says she loves that perk, and they leave.

Maxie says she’s fine, now that Peter is out of commission, and Mac’s phone rings. It’s Britt, and he asks, what’s up? Britt says, medically speaking, she has good news; a patient woke from a coma. The bad news is, the patient is Peter August. Her next call will be to Maxie. He says, no need; she’s standing beside him. He’ll give her the news, and be there asap. Maxie asks what Britt wanted, and he says, unfortunately, it’s not good news to welcome in 2022. Felicia and Anna join them, and Felicia asks, what is it? He says, Peter’s awake.

Peter tells Victor, he’d laugh if it weren’t too painful. Victor is going to help him? Victor says, it’s true a condition of his deal with the WSB was to reveal Peter’s whereabouts, but Peter is hardly in a position to afford the luxury of holding a grudge. Peter says, why not? and Victor says, someone wants him dead. They tried once, and most likely will want to finish the job. Peter says, and Victor is going to save him? and Victor says he has resources that can greatly prolong Peter’s life expectancy. Now Peter will want to know what Victor wants in return, but it’s not a question of what, is it? It’s a question of who.

Carly tells Drew, she didn’t ask Jason to go to Greece; Britt Westbourne did. Although she could have given him a reason to stay in Port Charles. He asks what she could have said that would have made any difference.

Nina says she knows Sonny probably doesn’t want to hear this – he drains his glass – but maybe it’s a good thing the truth came out. He says he wanted to tell Carly the truth himself, but they were dealing with so much loss, he waited. Obviously, he waited too long. She says, but there was never going to be a good time for Carly to find out what happened between them in Nixon Falls. If there’s anything she can do… He says, like what? You know what? Carly, I’m sorry I fell in love with Mike when I knew he was your husband. She starts to cry, and he says, she can’t do anything. It’s not on her. What Carly can’t get past is what he kept from her.

Alexis asks Harmony if everyone is gossiping about her at Spring Ridge; how she accepted a pardon and escaped punishment. Harmony says, any one of those inmates would have jumped at the chance to go out those doors, and Alexis says, she should never have gone out those doors. Her nephew shouldn’t have gotten away with what he did, and she doesn’t want to be out in the real world, where there’s alcohol everywhere and no one to stop her from drinking it. Harmony says, Alexis has had a glass of champagne at her elbow, and hasn’t taken a sip since she sat down, so she’s doing pretty well. Alexis says, it’s probably because Harmony came by. She doesn’t have anyone to talk to, or anyone she wants to talk to. She distanced herself from everyone, including the friend she left behind there. Harmony says she guesses that’s something else she failed at, since she’s right here.

Back home, Doc says, at last he has Laura all to himself. No more hands to shake, no more babies to kiss. She’s all his. They kiss, and the doorbell rings. He says, you’re kidding. Let’s not answer it. Anyone who rings a doorbell after midnight on New Year’s Eve can’t be a good person. She says, Spencer and Esme might have forgotten their key, but he asks her to let him call her security detail. She says, she refuses to live in fear, and looks through the peephole. She opens the door, and looks shocked.

Anna asks if Peter is alert and talking, but Mac doesn’t know. He’ll give them an update, but thinks, in the meantime, they should all stay there and enjoy the night. Maxie says, no way; she’s coming with him. Felicia says, they’ll go as a family, but Anna says she has to make some calls. Keep her updated. Mac promises to do that, and they leave.

Austin asks if Britt thinks Victor and Peter are plotting world domination, or are they just in there killing each other? Did she want them to kill each other? Is that why she was okay with Victor’s late night visit? Britt laughs, and says, a big part of her was hoping Peter would never wake up from his coma, but if Peter can stand trial and be sent away for the rest of his life, even better. He says he loves it when he’s so completely wrong. He figured her for somebody who would play by the book; she was so keen on seeing him thrown off the staff for Brook’s made up violation. She says, watch it, or she’ll go through with it after all, but he says he doesn’t know about that. He doesn’t think she’s the Britch. People talk, and she has a reputation, but he’s not buying into it, because from his perspective, she worked Christmas Eve, she worked New Year’s Eve, and he thinks she cares a great deal about people and this place, whether she cares to admit it or not. She says, the truth is, she didn’t have a better offer. Isn’t that why he worked too? He says, pretty much, and she says, at least they won’t be the only kids at the uncool table.

Victor says, he and Peter had an agreement once. A certain prisoner was at the heart of that agreement, held in a cell back in Greece. Peter sadly decided to welch on that agreement when Peter tried to kill him. What can he say? Bygones. But the fact is, there’s still something he needs that only their former prisoner can provide. In exchange, he’s prepared to offer Peter protection. It’s not only the best deal he’ll get, it’s the only deal, so why doesn’t he start talking? Tell him how he can get what he needs from Drew Cain.

Drew gets the feeling something more than just missing Jason brought Carly there tonight, and she asks, what makes him think he knows what she’s feeling? He says, she’s clearly hurting about something. Jason isn’t here, but for his sake, Drew would love to help her if she’ll let him.

Sonny says, Carly thinks he’s lying to himself; that he still has feelings Nina. She asks what he said to Carly, but then says, no. Forget she said that. What happened between them in Nixon Falls is just a thing of the past now. It’s buried with the ashes of the Tan-O.

Alexis tells Harmony that she’s not drinking the champagne. She’s going to get some herbal tea. Would Harmony like some? Harmony says, no. It’s way past her bedtime; she has to work in the morning. Alexis says, lucky her, and Harmony tells Alexis to take care of herself. Alexis thanks her, and Harmony smiles and leaves.

Anna calls Valentin and leaves a message. She says she hopes there wasn’t too much chaos when he got back, and that he got a good night’s rest… She has bad news. Peter regained consciousness. There’s not much they can do right now, but call her when he gets this. They have to figure out their next step.

Maxie comes out of the elevator first, and tells Austin that Britt called her dad and said Peter was awake. Does he know anything? He says he was there when Peter regained consciousness, and Felicia tells Maxie that she’s so sorry. Mac sees Britt, and asks her, what’s the prognosis? Is Peter out of the woods, or could he slip back into a coma? Felicia asks Austin if Peter said anything about Louise, but he says, Peter’s not doing a lot of talking. He was incubated, and he’s really uncomfortable. Austin makes Maxie a promise – Peter is never again going be a threat to her or to Louise.

Victor tells Peter, time is of the essence. What is the key for him to get Drew to tell him what he needs to know? Peter says, get him Maxie and his daughter, when Mac comes in, and says, out of the room now. From now on, there’s restricted access until Peter returns to Pentenville to stand trial. Victor says he was just leaving, and nods to Peter as he goes out the door.

Carly says she appreciates what Drew is trying to do, but if he wants to help her, go his way, and she’ll go hers. He says he’s not going to push, but if she changes her mind, she knows how to reach him. He leaves, and she almost calls him back, but doesn’t, and goes the other way.

Sonny says, it’s getting late; Nina should get going. She says, right, and gets her coat and bag. She says she knows it’s strange coming from her, but she really does hope he and Carly work things out. She leaves, and Sonny sits alone.

Doc asks who is it, and we see it’s Tracy. Laura says, it’s past midnight. What’s going on? Tracy says, it’s Luke. He is… He’s gone. Laura looks like she might fall apart.    

Tomorrow, Curtis has something to tell Portia; Ned tells Olivia, it’s about time they made it official; Drew tells Monica that he has unsettled business he has to deal with; Victor says, change is coming; and Bobbie knows something terrible has happened.

Below Deck

Primary Chelsea whines that she just wants to be like everyone else. And again I say, then don’t go on a cruise when your jaw is wired shut. It’s an impossibility to be like everyone else, since people eat their faces off on a cruise. Rachel makes a chicken curry smoothie, and I gag. In Fraser’s interview, he says, it’s stressful between the primaries, and they’re doing the best they can. He is anyway. Co-primary Michael says he’s emphasizing not to give them food without serving Chelsea first. In his interview, Fraser suggests them piping down their drama. Eddie and Jake test out the headphones for silent disco. Chelsea wails that everyone is jumping on her, when that’s not the case, and Michael says she’d be fine if she was eating normal food. Well, yeah. What I said.

In her interview, Heather says, she’d rather scrub a bidet with her tongue than do this dinner service. The energy is dead at the table. Wait. Her tongue has a scrubby side? She hopes the silent disco turns the night around. The guests get ready, and guest Rachel grabs broom Sally, and says she’s bringing her magic to the beach. I don’t know why, since so far, that magic has not worked. Jake and Eddie set up a fire on the beach, and Eddie goes back for the guests, while Heather decorates. It looks very pretty, but once everyone starts dancing to no music, it looks like the dumbest sh*t ever. Fraser tells Rayna. today was mental, and she wonders why they crammed everything into one day. Good question. Heather thinks the picnic saved the charter, and Chelsea seems happy for a hot minute. Back on the boat, Heather asks how Rayna is doing, but Rayna ignores her. Rayna tells Wes that she’s still pissed about Heather using the n-word, and wasn’t happy about Eddie’s reaction either. He’d chastised Rayna for saying Heather shouldn’t put her fingers in the food (I’ve got to second that), but when she told him what Heather had said, Eddie told her not to let it affect her work. He shrugged it off like it was nothing. Wes says, it was a while ago, and she shouldn’t let that sh*t lapse, but she says, she hadn’t wanted to look like an angry Black woman.  

Breakfast is served, and this time, salmon accompanies the eggs benedict. The guests tell Eddie that they want to do water sports, while in galley Rachel says, f*** my life, although I’m not sure why. Maybe no reason. Heather tells Fraser that Rayna’s been giving her the cold shoulder, and she doesn’t know why. She’s not here to make friends; she’s here to make money, but she hasn’t done anything to Rayna to warrant that behavior. She needs to pick her battles, but had to tell someone. She thinks it’s because Jess left, and Fraser finally tells her, that’s not it. She says, clearly he knows something, and he says she’d used a word Rayna didn’t like.

Heather goes off crying, and in her interview, she says, she foolishly assumed everything was good, since they’d had a conversation where she’d apologized and promised to do better. We flash back to that, and she says she doesn’t know how to handle it. She’s never wished more for a time machine than now. Captain Lee continues to search for a new stew, and in his interview, says, it’s a sh*t sandwich. They need a stew, but just for a few charters at the end of the season. There’s not enough lipstick to put on that pig to make it enticing. Heather tells Rachel about Rayna being mad at her, and Fraser gives Heather a hug. Jake comes by, and says, what about him? and gets a hug too. The crew changes into their blacks for dinner, and Rachel asks Rayna for help, since she only has one Vitamix, and can’t take the time to keep washing it.

The captain joins the guest for dinner in full dress uniform. In Rachel’s interview, she says, it’s a sensitive situation, with the primary having her jaw wired shut, and given the fact that Rachel f***ed up. Tonight is a tantalizing multi-course tasting menu, and Chelsea wants every course. It’s the most insane request, aside from prostitutes and coconut oil, that Rachel has come across. I actually think this is weirder than hookers and oil. At dinner, Chelsea tells Captain Lee that she knows the crew is working hard, and Michael says he’s noticed their teamwork. The captain says, it’s hard to find a crew that gets along well. I miss what exactly happened, but Heather’s foot is bleeding, and she desperately tries to stop in. In Rachel’s interview, she says, no one’s head is in the game. Her interior is missing. She recruits the deck crew to help, and when Chelsea sips her first course, she says she can taste everything, reminding me of the gum in Willy Wonka. Jake talks to pseudo-fiancé Paris on the phone. In his interview, he says he and Paris are working sh*t out. In Heather’s interview, she admits she has too much ego to ask for help, but she’s already behind. Jessica isn’t with them, her foot is bleeding everywhere, and she wants to keep another volcano dormant.

Rachel uses cloches to cover the food, so that the scent of the steak wafts out at the table. After seeing Chelsea’s smoothie, in Captain Lee’s interview, he says, it’s a waste of Wagyu to blend it to a pulp. He invites the guests to the wheelhouse to watch the docking the next day. In Heather’s interview, she says, it’s extremely important for her to clear the air with Rayna. She couldn’t put the notion aside that Rayna didn’t like her, and she’d wanted to relate, but lesson learned, the n-word shouldn’t be said regardless of the reason. I totally understand why Rayna was upset and why it shouldn’t be said, but I also think Heather did it for a stupid reason, she’s genuinely sorry, and it’s more like Rayna is using this to be angry about a whole lot of things that Heather has nothing to do with.

Nevis, St. Kitts. In the morning, both Fraser and Heather are late for their shifts. Rachel texts Heather, but gets no response, so Wes and Rayna pitch in, getting coffee for the guests. Wes says he has no idea what he’s doing, and Rayna finally gets Fraser and Heather up. In her interview, Heather says she never thought she’d be the person who sleeps in. It’s making her question her career. She shouldn’t be making rookie mistakes.

Heather tells Captain Lee that a second stew she worked with in Florida might be the perfect person to jump in the mix. The captain says he’s open to anything, and asks Heather to give him the stew’s resumé. Heather says she’d be happy with a warm body to do laundry and dishes. In her interview, she says she’s the one in the lion’s den, and sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. In the captain’s interview, he says, it’s a lot of pressure having clients in the wheelhouse. He can’t point the finger at anyone else. He explains what he’s doing as they dock. Heather texts stew Kaylee to ask for her resumé. The wind starts to whip, and Jake says, it’s at 30 knots, and he’s terrified about docking the boat. It’s a lot of pressure. Captain Lee says he has to rotate the boat 180 degrees, and when the wind blows that strong, it pushes them into the dock and forward. One of the guests asks about dolphins, and in his interview, the captain says, never let them see you sweat. The boat is docked, and the guests applaud. Michael tells Jake that it was so cool, and the captain radios the crew to get their hot asses to the main deck aft in five minutes.

The guests say goodbye, and Chelsea thanks them for their patience and understanding. She thanks Rachel for allow her to participate in the meals, and Rachel gives her a smoothie for the road, one that actually sounds good, with things like chocolate in it. IMO, Rachel is the tip this time. Eddie says he smells like sweat and desperation, and Rayna sings that she deserves a beer. Captain Lee calls the crew to the crew mess, asap.

He says he thought the charter went extremely well. Jake stepped up, and his dock procedure was fantastic. Heather says she appreciated all the help. The tip is $22K, which comes out to $2000 a piece, since they’re short-handed. The captain says he thinks they deserve a day off, and they’re going to a beach by boat to eat, drink, and be merry. He wants them to come back rested, because he plans on working their little asses off. In Fraser’s interview, he says he looks forward to spending time with Jake, joking around and drinking champagne, and hopefully, having a kiss or two. Rachel tries throwing nuts in Eddie and Wes’s open mouths, and they fail miserably at catching them. Wes finally gets one, and everyone goes to bed shortly after 11.

Before leaving for the beach, Heather says she wants to chat with Rayna, but Rayna wants to save it for later. Heather wants to talk before they drink, and Rayna agrees, but says, f*** my life, as soon as Heather is gone. She says she just wants to be alone. Don’t people realize that by now? They sit in one of the lounges, and Heather says she feels there’s tension between them. She knows she said something she shouldn’t have, and it wasn’t right. From the bottom of her heart, she’s sorry. Rayna says she doesn’t feel a genuine connection between them, but wants to move in a positive direction, and they hug it out. The captain sees the crew leaving, and says, thank God. The little boat taking them to the beach has a bar, so they get started early. The captain allows Wes to drive the boat.

Christophe Harbor, St. Kitts. In Jake’s interview, he says he wants to get married and have kids. Distance is making his heart grow fonder of Paris. In Rachel’s interview, she says she’s not drinking today, and we flash back to her impromptu joining of a band when she was drunk. Have fun. This old lady is going to take a nap. Rayna, Fraser, and Jake toast to their amazing relationship, and Wes tries to call Jessica. In Wes’s interview, he says, the crew is amazing, but sometimes it feels like he doesn’t fit in. He’s trying to have fun, but in a more adult way. This isn’t his element. He goes out on a paddleboard, and says he’ll watch from a distance. Rayna tells Fraser that she doesn’t feel comfortable and can’t forget what Heather said. While out on paddleboards, Heather tells Rachel how bad she felt, and that a huge weight has been lifted off of her. Rayna tells Fraser that Heather cried fake tears with her fake apology. She’s over it. Another problem I have with her. She’s a roller coaster ride. I can’t, and won’t, with people like that. Pick a lane.

Fraser and Jake go out on the same paddleboard. In Fraser’s interview, he says, he might have a crush, but understands the limitations, so fine. Rayna says, this is bullsh*t, and paddles out after them. In his interview, Fraser says, Rayna is being a killjoy. Back off and get away from my man. Eddie sees a medium sized spider, and freaks out.

They go back to the boat, and Eddie says he thinks Rayna is jealous. Fraser finds her in a bunk with Jake, and leaves, but Rayna runs after him, and tells him to come watch Norbit with them. Rachel listens at the door, and tells the others that they’re just watching videos. Fraser leaves, and Rayna stays behind, getting nakey with Jake. In Rachel’s interview, she says, this thrupple makes me want to throw upple. Fraser sits alone.

Next time, a Naval officer primary, a new stew is coming, a guest has a shellfish allergy, and Rachel is going to lose her sh*t.

💰 New Million…

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles has been airing a mini spin-off, Josh and Josh, with Josh Altman and Josh Flagg. Yeah, like I ever thought they were really feuding. Apparently JoshF has left the company he was working for to join JoshA and Tracy at Douglas Elliman. Birds of a feather.

https://www.distractify.com/p/million-dollar-listing-josh-and-josh-spinoff

🎈 In My Beautiful Balloon…

2022 looks like a nice year, but I don’t trust it just yet. Come on down tomorrow for soap and a glimpse of the Toms new bar. Until then, stay safe, stay striving to do better, and stay looking in the mirror first when you’re looking for answers.