What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Snow tells Regina that she doesn’t need to go through this alone. Zelena says she’s not going to, and Zelena can empathize, having been through it. David tells Zelena how sorry he is about Hades.

Violet approaches Henry. She says she’s sorry about Robin and that she was afraid she was never going to see Henry again. He says him too.

Emma tells Hook maybe he should wait outside when she goes to the diner, since Regina might be bitter over Robin’s death.

Gold tells Belle in the Box that her father was uncooperative about waking her and he’ll have to find another way. He says he needs power and messes with the Olympian crystal.

Emma sees Regina. The diner rocks (and by that I mean like there’s an earthquake, not that it’s a cool place to be) and Hook runs in asking if everyone is okay. Everybody is surprised to see him, since they didn’t think he could get back from the Underworld. Regina says only one person is powerful enough to rock the diner like that — Gold.

Regina says he’s done a tethering spell. Gold is trying to harness all the magic in Storybrooke. They surmise it’s to wake Belle. Emma says maybe Regina should sit this one out and Regina is annoyed that Emma thinks she’ll go all evil queen. Regina says fine, she’ll deal with things herself. She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry tells Violet about Gold and how magic screws everything up. He says he used to think there was light and dark, but now he believes it’s all one. Violet says her mother died from magic. Henry asks her to come on a quest with him and she says yes. He calls it Operation Mix-Tape and says there’s one more thing they need, the pen. He writes that the crystal appeared in his hand. He tells Violet all the magic is tethered there and they’re going to destroy it.

The group is looking for Gold, and Regina is looking for Henry. Gold shows up and says Henry has the crystal and Henry has outsmarted all of them. Regina asks what happens if Henry succeeds in destroying magic, and Gold tells her that Storybrooke was created with magic, so what does she think? He disappears, poof! in cloud of grey smoke.

Emma follows Regina to look for Henry. All of the other characters in Storybrooke approach Snow with their worries. Zelena creates a doorway for them to go back from whence they came. Emma says they have to find Henry before Gold does.

Meanwhile, Violet and Henry are in New York City. Everyone goes through the door except our heros. Zelena is about to close it and something prevents her, something that looks like it’s trying to get in. Suddenly, the gang is transported to…somewhere. Zelena says they’re not in Storybrooke anymore.

In Boston, Regina and Emma get in a Volkswagen Beetle. Regina pricks Emma’s finger and the blood leaves a trail on their map, showing them where Henry is. Gold drives through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel into NYC. Violet tells Henry the city is overwhelming and he says he thought the same thing about Camelot at first. They discuss Gold and Henry tells her that his father had also been looking for a way to destroy magic and kept a journal in his apartment. He tells her she’s the only one he’s told about it.

In the beautiful forest that the Storybrooke-ites have landed in, they come across an estate. They ask a gardener where they are. The gardener says if he helps them, he’ll be punished. When David asks by who, a sorcerer pops out and says by him, and blows them all back with purple lightening bolts.

The gang wakes up in a dungeon. Although, geez, it looks like they could squeeze between the bars. A warden comes in and asks why they’re on his property. Snow says they just want to leave. The warden asks what the Dark One wants and grabs Hook by the throat. Snow says Gold is their enemy too, and explains what Gold is looking for. The warden doesn’t believe them.

Emma and Regina go to the apartment. Emma can tell that Henry and Violet have been there. Regina finds one of Robin’s books and gets all sentimental. There’s a letter from Robin to her inside. He says how proud he is of her and that no matter what separates them, he knows she’ll always do the right thing. Emma tells Regina sorry about before. Regina says she’s right, the evil queen is always trying to get out. Emma says she understands having fought the darkness, but Regina says while Emma was just at the precipice, she was consumed.

Regina says her first instinct is to rip Hook’s throat out because Robin didn’t survive, but she knows it’s wrong, so she keeps it in check. She says good always leads to loss for her, but she has to keep doing it. She talks about the horrible things she did when Snow was little. She says being a hero doesn’t matter because there’s no redemption for her. She has the curse of knowing good and evil and has to fight with it every day. Emma says she believes in Regina, and Regina says that’s because Emma is good. She says her fate is to be trapped.

Emma sees on the computer that Henry and Violet are at the midtown library. Gold waits outside the door of the apartment.

A librarian takes Henry and Violet to the rare reading room. His father was looking for something there, but never found it. Violet is skeptical that they can. A slew of Henry’s Once Upon A Time books are there, each containing different stories.

Back at the dungeon, the gardener, Albert, comes in. He says he wants to help them. He can’t let them out, but he might be able to get the magic they need. He asks to come with them when they leave. He says he’s a prisoner and wants to get away from the warden as much as they do. Zelena needs her wand fixed and Albert says he can take the pieces and put it back together in the lab. David is unsure about trusting him, but they have no other choice.

Henry thinks they came there for nothing. Violet says he’ll figure it out. She sees a chalice in a glass case and says Henry’s father never figured things out because he never visited Camelot, where the Holy Grail is the source of all magic. Henry busts the chalice out and it twirls a book around. Henry starts to leave. Gold stops him, but Henry says he’s not getting the crystal without a fight. Gold says too bad Henry is going to lose and puts both Henry and Violet to sleep, taking the crystal.

Albert goes to the laboratory. He puts the wand into a machine that looks like a Mousetrap game. He’s able to fix it, but the sorcerer comes in. Albert claims the warden wanted him to fix it, but the sorcerer says they’ll talk to the warden then. There’s a struggle and Albert turns into Mr. Hyde, who is also the warden, and starts talking about his other personality in the third person. He says Storybrooke could be the answer to what they’re looking for, and they’ve been stuck where they are for too long. He says the doctor isn’t the only one who will be going to Storybrooke; they all will.

Emma finds Henry and Violet, and the color turns to sepia tones. Henry tells Regina that magic has taken everything away from them. Every time it seems like they’ll be happy, magic wrecks things. He doesn’t want magic to take away Regina or Emma. He tells them he couldn’t find any answers. They agree they have to find Gold and they do the map/blood thing again. It doesn’t work though, because the magic is all in the crystal.

Hyde is twirling the wand around. He says he’s taking something that will give them the power they need. Gold talks to Belle in the Box in the hotel room. The room starts to shake and when Gold grabs the crystal, Belle in the Box disappears and reappears in Hyde’s hands. He says if the Dark One wants to see his wife again, he’ll have to do what Hyde says.

Albert, who is also Dr. Jekyll, wakes up in a straitjacket. There’s a note from Hyde saying he almost got free. Albert says that Hyde isn’t as smart as he thinks. He goes to the dungeon, says the warden has the wand, and unlocks the door, letting the Storybrooke gang out.

They go to what looks like a Moroccan flea market. Albert says it’s called the Land of Untold Stories.

Back in NYC, Violet tells Henry she hopes he has a good plan since they have no magic. They see lightening bolts hitting the top of a building. A room service waiter comes toward the hotel room. Gold answers the door and invites him in. There’s a pentagram and candles on the table. Gold doesn’t care about the food, only the sterling silver charger. Gold gives the waiter a hundred dollar bill and says things might get messy. The waiter leaves and Gold puts a “do not disturb” sign on the door.

Regina feels the vibes from the hotel. She says she might not have magic, but she still has a fist and Gold still has a nose. Ha-ha! She knocks on the door and tells Gold they need to talk alone. She says Emma doesn’t know she’s there. She says she knows he hasn’t been able to wake Belle in the Box yet and needs help from his best student. She says she’s ready to let the evil queen back out and makes up some story. She says he needs the evil queen and she doesn’t want to lose Zelena. He says maybe they can help one another.

Albert brings everybody to his apartment. He picks up some serum that separates the good and evil from someone. He’s going to use it on Hyde. The sorcerer comes in. Albert tells everyone to run as he turns into Hyde.

While Regina and Gold toast, Emma slips in. Gold tells Regina about how Belle in the Box was taken. Emma gets the crystal, but it disappears, poof! in a cloud of magenta smoke. Gold knew all along. He says Regina is who she’ll always be, guilt-ridden and weak. He takes something of Zelena’s from Regina that he needs for his spell, and plans on getting rid of Emma and Regina, since he doesn’t need them anymore.

Henry stops everything and works some magic on the pentagram table. Purple clouds happen outside the building and it seems like something has been sucked out of the room. Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Hyde tells the sorcerer to go into the other room and injects himself. He separates into two people. Hyde tells the doctor it’s nice to finally meet him. He says the irony of being separate is that it’s going to destroy him. He tries to strangle the doctor and Hook comes to the rescue. David says the doctor risked everything to save them, so it was the least they could do.

Gold tells Henry he stopped him from rescuing Belle in the Box and everyone in the other realm with them. Henry says he did what he had to and it’s on Gold. Regina wonders what happened to Storybrooke, and Gold says it will be fine, he was just made that up to motivate her. He says they’ll have to work together to find who has magic.

Emma finds Henry in Bryant Park. Henry says before they knew magic existed, they were happy. Emma says it was just them then. Henry says because of what he did, they might not see their family again. Emma says Regina and Gold are working on it now.

Gold tells Regina he’s always failed to separate the parts of himself because he likes the darkness. Regina says she doesn’t, but Gold tells her she’s kidding herself an the more she keeps it inside, the more she’ll suffer.

They go to an herbal shop. Gold introduces the shopkeeper as “The Dragon.” The Dragon says he’s not in the business of helping hearts with such darkness as Rumpelstiltskin’s, but he will help Regina. He says it’s imperative she win for all of them.

The Dragon does a thing with a lotus blossom and they’re able to see Snow and the others in the parallel world. Regina says they’re in trouble. The Dragon says opening a portal is beyond his power. He says just because Henry thinks he destroyed magic, doesn’t mean there isn’t any; it’s everywhere. Emma says they have to believe and Gold says just saying it doesn’t make it so.

Henry is going to throw a coin in the fountain. He asks if Emma remembers the last time they were there and he made a wish. A few days later, the wish came true. He throws the coin in, saying he wishes his family was reunited. Each of them tosses in a coin and wishes. The crystal starts to pulse with light. Gold tosses in his coin, but Henry says they need more.

In the Untold Stories World, the Storybrooke gang meets face to face with Hyde.

Henry makes a speech about magic being real, standing on the pedestal of one of the lions on the library steps. He gathers a small crowd and asks everyone to make a wish and help them return magic to the world. Everyone starts throwing coins in the fountain. (Hmm…this might be a good way to make some extra cash.) The crystal gets stronger and Henry says, told ya so.

Coins start dropping in on Snow and the others. Snow tells David they’re not pennies, they’re wishes. All of a sudden, they’re in the fountain and immediately get arrested. Just kidding about the arrest part. Everyone applauds. Henry says they think it was an act and none of it is real. Emma says it doesn’t matter. For a moment, he did the impossible and made everyone believe.

Hyde is going crazy, smashing things. Gold appears. Hyde says now that he’s finally here, if Gold wants to see his wife and child again, he’ll do as Hyde says. Gold strangles him without touching him and Hyde says he can help him wake Belle in the Box. Gold lets go and Hyde says he’s learned a lot being the warden. He thinks it’s time they talk about a deal.

David says they can’t find Gold. Zelena says Regina wanted to be alone, but won’t say why. Snow finds Regina on the rooftop and brings her hot chocolate and spikes it from a flask. Regina says if she wants to keep the evil queen at bay she has to open herself to a lifetime of suffering. She says she wished the evil queen away at the fountain. Regina says the karma will always be there and it’s just another useless wish. Snow says maybe not.

Snow and Emma bring the syringe with Albert’s serum up to the roof. There’s enough for one more injection. Regina asks to be alone, but they won’t leave. Regina says the evil queen didn’t like Snow on a good day, so be careful. Snow injects Regina who goes through some changes, eventually splitting in two.

Regina faces herself. The evil queen tries to throw a lightening bolt at Regina, but Emma chains her. Emma tells Regina to destroy the evil queen and the queen laughs, saying Regina doesn’t have what it takes. She says Regina needs her. Regina says no she doesn’t and rips out the queen’s black heart. She says sorry and crushes it to dust. The queen disappears and only the chains are left.

Violet says she has to go. She tells Henry that her father is really from Connecticut and just ended up in Camelot. He said he’s glad she was born there though, since being a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court was no great shakes. She kisses Henry good-by.

Everyone else joins them. David says he’ll show Albert around. Emma tells Hook that she loves him and they kiss.

Henry tells Regina she destroyed the evil queen and asks how she feels. She says free. They take the crystal ad Regina works some mojo over it. It disappears. Uh-oh. Hyde appears and is like, thanks, trapped in a town without magic would be a bummer. He says he provided Gold with some information in exchange for Storybrooke. And he’s brought some friends.

He says he’s been looking for a place where all the lost and forgotten stories can play out. Regina says the story ends with him losing. He says darkness isn’t as easy to snuff out as she believes.

In Chinatown, The Dragon hears a bell. A trail of smoke comes into his establishment. It’s the evil queen. She says he was right about one thing, there was a battle raging inside Regina and she might have won the battle, but the war has just begun. She takes his heart and says the queen is back.

I’m guessing that next season, the Storybrooke characters will get involved with different stories from the books Henry found. Kind of like Sliders.

Fear the Walking Dead

In a chapel, some choirboys sing. The padre takes the podium. He talks about their faith being tested. He says that the evil that has befallen them wants them to turn away from God and to not to give into it. He says they’ll defeat it. They take communion.

Everyone goes out and gets guns. Thomas comes up and tells the padre they’ll be dead by the time they get to the gate. The people of the congregation start bleeding from their eyes. The padre says this was her, the one Thomas is trying to protect.

On the boat. Chris tells Travis he didn’t do anything wrong. Travis says they’re saying the guy Chris shot wasn’t sick and Madison is worried about him. Even if he wasn’t sick, Reed was a menace.

In the wheelhouse, Victor says they’ll be in Baha soon. Victor sees a boat coming toward them. Luis says the guy driving is Miguel, but he doesn’t know the other one. Madison has everyone hide. Daniel translates the conversation they can overhear. A negotiation is being made and Luis makes a payment. The guy wants to make sure there are no infected on board. There’s an argument and gunshots.

It gets quiet, and the group goes back up. Luis is dead, but Victor is fine. Daniel tells the others to stay and Daniel makes sure the people involved are dead. Luis is still alive and Ofelia wants to help him. Luis gives her a coin and says to give it to his mother. Daniel takes the coin from her. He says it’s nothing, even though he obviously knows what it is, and tosses it overboard.

The group goes to shore. The place is littered with piles of bodies. Victor calls Thomas’s name and runs into the chapel, looking for him. A bunch of zombies attack and the group fights them off. Lots of eye stabbing. Daniel has to stab an altar boy and can’t do it. Ofelia runs interference. A zombie grabs Madison and Chris freezes. Or maybe not. Is he pissed because she thought Reed might not have been sick? Alicia dispatches the zombie.

They take a truck to the gated estate. There are workers tilling the soil and such. Victor leads the way to the main house. Thomas’s mother, Celia, meets them. She asks about Luis and Victor says something about the military and she says he’ll find his way back. I don’t know if Victor is talking in code or giving her a story. A lady takes their weapons.

Thomas isn’t well. He tells Victor better late than never. Victor sees a wound on his arm and tells Thomas he’s sorry. Thomas says it’s okay, he waited for him. Victor says if he’d been there, he could have done something, but Thomas says maybe not. He helps Thomas up and they hug. He helps Thomas to his bed.

Alicia watches an old movie. Chris comes in and asks if she’s mad at him. She says she saw what he did. She says he was watching when the zombie was going to kill Madison and he did nothing. He says he froze and she can’t tell anyone something like that. She says what if she does. He says he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Nick comes to the kitchen. It’s not dinnertime yet, but Celia says she’ll give him some pizolli if he doesn’t tell the others. He says that Luis was asking for her and he wanted her to know. She says he has a “heavy smile,” and asks him why. He says he’s sick of all the killing. She says they’re just visitors and the dead have always walked among them, but now they can see it. Madison comes in and tells Nick the shower is ready.

Celia says Nick is special. Madison tells her that Nick is fragile and impressionable. Everyone is just being weird. Or weirder than usual.

Madison brings a tray in to Thomas and Victor. Thomas says he’s usually a better host. Thomas makes Madison promise to look after Victor when he’s gone. She says he won’t make it easy and Thomas says that’s why he’s asking her.

Ofelia tells Daniel it’s dinnertime and he says he’s not hungry. She asks if everything is okay and he says yes. He says to tell everyone that he’s tired. Alicia is falling asleep watching TV, which I imagine must seem like quite a novelty right now. Madison says that’s how they used to find her when they’d come home and she was with a babysitter. Alicia says she was afraid they wouldn’t come home.

Madison asks Travis what he talked about with Chris. She tells him about Chris threatening Alicia and what Alicia thinks she saw. Madison thinks that he’s sick. Travis says what if she’s right and she needs to help him help Chris. He adds that he’s noticed she leaves him out of the picture when talking about their kids. She says Alicia needs her tonight and Travis says he’ll stay with Chris. Maybe this whole thing is just getting to everybody.

Victor tends to Thomas. He tells Thomas to go to sleep, but Thomas says he can’t. Victor says the world was never good enough for Thomas and Thomas says he doesn’t want to leave him. Victor says he could go with him and Thomas says that’s very Shakespearean of him. Victor says there’s nothing left for him there once Thomas is gone, and his mother will look after everyone.

Daniel sees a kid put a dog into something that looks like a laundry shoot and is like, wtf?

Ofelia prays at the shrine. Nick joins her. She asks when he was in a church last and he says he doesn’t remember. She talks to her mother and says she’s worried about Daniel. She thinks he’s frail and has lost his way without her. Nick looks up and sees an owl’s face carved in a tree. It makes him remember when he woke up in the church in the first episode. Ofelia finishes praying and thanks him for being there with her.

Daniel sneaks around and sees the kid talking to a closed door. He asks the kid who he’s talking to and the kid says his mother. Daniel asks the kid to introduce him. Yep, as I thought. There’s bunch of zombies in there and this kid has been feeding them dogs.

Daniel goes to Celia and asks if she’s responsible. She says they’re family and she didn’t want to refuse them shelter, that they were being hunted. Daniel says she poisoned the parishioners and she says he’s being outrageous and needs to make peace with the dead. Okay, now what Victor said about Luis makes sense. She’s bringing communion wafers in to Thomas and Victor.

Celia sings a little Spanish ditty while she gives Thomas a sponge bath. She tells Victor that when Thomas was afraid of the dark as a boy, that was the only thing that worked. She says she never thought Victor was good enough for Thomas, but she was wrong. He asks how long it will take and she says not long. She tells him to sleep and leaves.

Nick sees Celia outside. She says Nick’s mother worries about him and he says he’s given her reason. Celia asks what he wants to know and he asks if they’re really dead. She says no and he asks what they are. She says they’re what comes next. Great.

Victor is in bed with Thomas and watching him. Thomas dies in Victor’s arms. Victor looks at the communion wafer, but walks past it. Chris gets out of bed and gets something out of a drawer. A gun? He goes into Alicia’s room where she’s sleeping with Madison. He takes a knife from the neightstand and a gunshot wakes everyone. Alicia screams at him to get out.

Victor has shot Thomas in the head.

Next time, Chris disappears, Nick walks among the dead, and Victor isn’t done

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and GG are at a bathhouse. GG gas to go through some medical treatments. Reza is of a “no man left behind” school of thought, and says people need other people. That’s what differentiates them from snakes. Really. He said that.

MJ and Tommy are talking about moving in together. They call the fertility doctor about the tests results. He says Tommy’s sperm count is low and it will  be almost impossible to get pregnant. The doctor says it could be a wrong count though because of them having sex too close to the time of the test. MJ makes Tommy swear not to [insert favorite euphemism here] for a minimum of two days.

Jessica and Mike are going to couples counseling. This should be good. The therapist asks for background and Mike says they’re having marital problems. Great start. Jessica has moved out, but Mike didn’t tell anyone. He thought she’d be back in a few days, but it didn’t happen. The therapist asks if they’re in a place where they want to fix things and she’s there to help them work through it.

Jessica says she knocked herself out to show Mike how worthy and capable she was, but then the relationship bombed after marriage. Mike says he’s been working like a dog to be the bread winner and loves Jessica more than anything. She says she needs more than that. More than love and money? Mike says she’s riddled with anger and he feels like he’s failed her. I’m not sure exactly what the problem is. Did he cheat?

Shervin’s mom has come for a visit. She’s trying to cook for him even though he has no utensils. Awww! He has a cute little Pomeranian that he says is a chick magnet. GG is joining them for dinner. They talk about relationships. GG says Shervin has no game, only money. She says he’s looking for the perfect princess who doesn’t exist.

Reza and Asa get together. Asa is having a cat-themed retirement party for her mom. They pick up some fast food and head to Palm Springs. They’re going to pick out a restaurant for the surprise wedding. They check out a room that Asa says is stunning, but I don’t know if I’d go that far. It’s good for Reza though.

Tommy has his sperm count retested. MJ sits in a differnt chair this time for supersticious reasons. She also mentions that they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night. That seems weird to me. The test is better this time and the doctor thinks they should be good to go. The doctor says the longer they wait, the less chance of success. MJ isn’t quite ready yet though.

Asa goes to Reza’s Palm Springs place for a drink after they’re done with wedding business. Asa asks Reza what if Adam is caught off guard and Reza doesn’t get the reaction he wants. Reza says he doesn’t have a back up plan, because a back up plan is a plan for a failure.

Shervin is out on a date with Analise, who is Italian, but grew up in Australia. He met her in line at a coffee place. It sounds like Shervin doesn’t work too hard at any kind of relationship stuff. He says all he ever basically does is smile. He asks her something about “cheerio, guv’nor,” and apparently he’s not super bright either since they don’t say that in Australia. She says he must not go on a lot of dates and suggests he switch up his approach.

MJ’s mom, Vida, comes over with her dog Ziggy, who is looking like she’s recovered from MJ taking her to the groomer. Now she just has a purple pom pom on her tail. While they’re cooking, MJ tells Vida that Tommy moved in. Vida is seriously annoyed. MJ says things are moving too fast for her mother. She tells Vida about having her eggs frozen and she feels she only has another year or so to get everything into place. Vida says having a child isn’t like picking out a Louis Vuitton bag. MJ says she’s hoping to marry Tommy and Vida says she’ll get no help from her since he’s the wrong guy. And Vida ought to know.

Asa is preparing for the retirement party. Mr. Barfy makes an appearance for his favorite food, flaming Cheetos. Everyone dresses like a cat except Mike. He makes excuses for Jessica by saying she’s out of town. GG gives Asa’s mother a bottle of wine in a cat-shaped bottle.

Reza says Asa’s mom is also a sorcerer (wouldn’t that be sorceress?) and reads coffee grounds. He tells her about the surprise wedding and she says the grounds tell him to be careful and that the future is unknown. She sees someone who might interfere as well.

Asa makes a toast to her mother’s gangster ways. Reza asks GG what’s up since she looks like she has a glow. She says she’s been communicating better and it’s taken her to good places. MJ asks Mike about Jessica and he says he likes MJ’s shoes. He walks away from the table, but MJ follows. Mike tells her that he realizes Jessica thought he would change when they got married. He says they got in a huge argument, and when he got home from work the next day, she’d gone to her parents. MJ feels hurt because she didn’t realize it was a facade, which I don’t understand at all. Mike starts whining about how hard it is and how he wants Jessica to come home. Reza thinks it’s bizarre after only six months. Oddly enough, GG is the voice of reason, telling MJ it’s none of her business. MJ keeps repeating that Mike’s wife left him and Mike finally tells her to shut up, because he can hear her from halfway across the yard. He wonders who made her a marriage counselor when she has her own issues.

It’s time to cut the cake. It’s a huge white cat. MJ decides to go home and toddles off before Asa smears icing all over her mom’s face. Asa follows MJ outside. MJ says she’s done with Mike’s shennanigans and Reza says she’s had over a fifth of tequila. Yikes! GG says and everyone keeps calling her crazy.

Next time, the Shahs dress up in monkey suits (and I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean monkey suits), Tommy tells MJ to quit bothering Mike, and the surprise wedding happens…or does it?

Game of Thrones

Edd picks up his sword. He asks Jon where he’s going and Jon says south. He asks what Jon is going to do and Jon says get warm. Edd asks how Jon can leave them now when he knows what’s coming? Jon says his own brothers killed him, so how can Edd expect him to stay?.

Brienne, Pod and Sansa come to the gate. Yay! They finally made it somewhere. Jon comes out. He and Sansa hug.

Sansa has some soup and she and Jon make small talk. He says they should never have left Winterfell. Sansa says she was awful as a kid, and wishes she could change everything. She makes him forgive her. Sansa asks where Jon is going and he says she’s coming too; if he doesn’t look after her, their father’s ghost will haunt him. Sansa thinks they should take back Winterfell. Jon is tired of fighting. He says it’s all he’s done since he left home. She says if they don’t take back the north, they’ll never be safe. She wants him to help, but is willing to do it herself.

Davos approaches the Red Woman. She says Jon is the prince who was promised and she’s going to do what he commands. Davos mentions that she’d thought Stannis was the promised prince. The Red Woman tells him about the battle. When Davos asks about Princess Shireen, Brienne joins the, saying she saw what happened. I’ll bet that made the Red Woman sweat, but Davos doesn’t pursue it. Brienne also tells them she’s the one who executed Stannis.

Robin is doing target practice and Petyr drives up. He’s brought Robin a falcon. Lord Royce asks about Sansa and Petyr tells him what happened, but wonders how his secrets about Sansa got out. Royce says he’s always been faithful and Robin asks Petyr if they can trust him. Petyr says he would make a capable commander and deserves another chance. Robin agrees.

Petyr tells Robin that Sansa escaped, and was headed for Castle Black, but she won’t be safe with the Boltons after her. Robin says they should help her. Petyr says to get everyone ready for battle.

Tyrion talks to Grey Worm and Missandei about negotiations. Missandei says he hasn’t been there long enough to understand how it works.

One of the men tells Tyrion they came to meet the queen, and instead they get a eunich and a dwarf. He says Dany was offered ships and she refused them. Missandei says it’s because of the slavery situation. Tyrion says they don’t need slaves to make money. He says he grew up richer than any of them and there haven’t been slaves in Westeros for hundreds of years. Tyrion says Dany will compromise, giving them seven years to end the practice, and they’ll be compensated. They’re also to cut off support of the Sons of the Harpy. The man says they don’t support them, and Tyrion says all the same, they’re to stop their support. He gives them some girls to seal the deal.

Tyrion talks to the head guys who are pissed at him meeting with the slavers. He says the queen chose him as her adviser and as soon as she returns — but he’s interrupted as there’s concern she won’t return. Grey Worm says if there’s a chance for peace, they should go for it. Missandei says we make peace with our enemies not our friends.

Afterwards, Grey Worm tells Tyrion that he’s loyal to Dany, not Tyrion, and he’d better be right. Tyrion says he does’t trust them, but trusts their self-interest. He says their contempt is their weakness and they can use it to their advantage. Grey Worm says it will end up the other way around the way it does every time.

Jorah and Daario are hiking the hills. Daario tells Jorah that he’s getting old for all this stuff, and that it’s hard for him to keep up with Dany and he’s a young man. They observe the Dothraki camp. Jorah tells Daario that they’ve taken Dany to the temple. Jorah takes his sword off, telling Daario there are no weapons allowed. Daario suggests sneaking in to cart off Dany isn’t allowed either, but Jorah says if they get caught, it’s better if they’re unarmed.

At nightfall, they sneak into the camp, which is really rocking and rolling with Dothraki eating, drinking and being merry. Jorah sees some men and pretends he’s a wineseller who got lost. The guy says they’re not merchants and a fight ensues. Jorah nearly gets killed, but apparently Daario decided to keep one of his weapons. Jorah says if anyone finds the body, the whole city will be looking for them. Daario covers up the stab wound by beating the crap out of the body with a rock.

At the crone camp, the girls sit in a circle and the head crone tells Dany she hopes Dany is allowed to stay with them. Dany says she needs some water and the crone tells her there’s no running from the Dothraki. Dany says she’d never do that and one of the girls escorts her to the well. Halfway there, Daario and Jorah pop out. Dany tells the girl to have faith in her.

The sisters come to Margaery’s cell and bring her to see the High Sparrow. He asks her where she’d go if she could leave. She says to her brother, her family, her husband. He says that would be seeking materialism and materialism is sin. He tells her his own story. He says he sought a taste of the high life and had an epiphany and how his life was a collection of lies. He left his life and never went back, not even stopping for his shoes.

The High Sparrow takes Margaery to her brother. Loras starts to weep and she tells him he has to stay strong and that he’s the future of their family. He says he’s not strong and begs for help. She says they want her to help tear him down; that’s the only reason the High Sparrow is letting her see him. He dissolves into a puddle of tears and isn’t much help.

The Grand Maester is speaking with Tommen and Cersei kicks him out. Tommen says they need to be careful in dealing with the High Sparrow. He’s concerned about Margaery. Cersei is only concerned about herself, but says Margaery’s safety is paramount. Tommen says Cersei doesn’t like Margaery, but Cersei says it doesn’t matter, a queen should command respect.

Tommen tells Cersei that the High Sparrow told him something in confidence and Cersei says he can trust her. Hahahahahahaha!

Cersei cancels the small councel meeting. She tells Olenna that the High Sparrow has their fate in his grubby, little hands. She says her trial is coming up, but before that, Queen Margaery is supposed to have an atonement walk. Olenna is like, no way, and Cersei says that’s right. Jaime says they’re going to fight the High Sparrow. Cersei tells the King’s Hand to stand aside and his son will be avenged. Olenna says people will die no matter what route is taken, so better them than us. Amen, sista!

Theon finally makes it home. His sister says she didn’t believe it when she was told. Yara says good men died trying to rescue him. She says he was her brother, so she risked everything for him and he betrayed her. Theon says Ramsay broke him into a thousand pieces. She says they got one of the pieces and that’s why they tried to free him. Yara thinks he’s just there to claim the throne. He says he doesn’t want to be king. She asks what he wants. He says that she should rule. Damn straight.

Creepy Ramsay peels an apple. The guard shoves Osha into his room. He asks if she knows his banner. She says yes, the flayed man, and asks if they eat them afterward. Ha-ha! He says no, and she says she’s seen worse. She makes like the Starks had turned her into a slave and she thought she could ransom Rickon. He says Rickon is no longer hers, and why should he keep her around? She puts the moves on him, and he says she’s a good talker. He tells her he knows all about her past with the Starks and who helped the boys escape. Then he slits her throat. Bye, Osha.

Brienne watches Tormund eat. Edd says sorry about the food; it’s not what they’re known for. Somene come in with a message for the Lord Commander. Jon says that’s not him anymore, but takes it anyway. It’s from Ramsay, telling him to come and try to take Winterfell. He has Rickon and the skin of his direwolf is on the floor. He wants his wife back. He goes on to say how he’s going to torture everyone in graphic detail. Jon can’t read any more and Sansa reads the rest. It’s signed the Lord of Winterfell, so they know Roose is dead.

Sansa says a monster has taken their home and their brother, and they have to fight to save them both. She tells Jon people will fight for him if he only asks.

At the Dothraki camp, the Khal and his guys discuss the dead guy they found. Dany is brought in. The Khals buddy says she’s a midget. He says someone is offering 10,000 horses for her and he’s not sure if they should let her stay with the crones or use her as a whore. Dany asks if they’d like her opinion. The Khal says she has no voice unless she is Dosh Kahleen. They talk about Khal Drogo and the plans he had. She says his plans were bigger and better than any of the  piddling stuff they’re doing. She says none of them are fit to lead the Dothraki, but she is.

The Khal says fine, they’ll take turns with her and then give their horses a turn. He calls her crazy. She tells him he’s gong to die and knocks over the fire pit. The whole places starts burning. The men are all running around like crazy. It’s like Carrie — the doors are locked and everything is going up in flames, with Dany in the middle of it, cool as a cucumber.

A crowd gathers outside and Dany emerges just like she did the first time, nakey and untouched in the middle of a massive blaze. The crowd bows down to her. Jorah and Daario come forward, amazed. They too bow down. Very impressive. A beautiful and emotional scene.

Next time, Petyr and Sansa meet, Yara claims the iron throne, and Bran has a helluva vision.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hades is thrilled to be back in the land of the living. Zelena is worried about Regina though, as she hasn’t shown up yet. She asks Hades to take the baby to Regina’s office. He’s surprised she trusts him that much. Zelena leaves and King Arthur, who’s in handcuffs, runs up to Hades and says he’s been unjustly imprisoned and was destined to rule a kingdom. Nice to meet you too. Hades introduces himself and says he’s also destined to rule a kingdom, but he needs Arthur’s help. And then Hades kills him.

Snow tells Merida she was supposed to be guarding Arthur and now they need to get a Dwarf search party going. Merida leaves and everyone except Hook, who is still in the Underworld, shows up. David tells Snow that Hades and Zelena came back too, with Robin’s baby.

Zelena finds Regina with Robin, and tells them Hades has changed. Regina explains how Hades tried to keep them in the Underworld and says she shouldn’t trust him with the baby. Zelena insists love has changed him, but Regina says that’s what she wants to believe. Zelena says if they try to hurt him, they’ll do so at their own peril, and she disappears, poof! in a cloud of green smoke.

In the Underworld, Arthur goes to the diner where he stands out like a sore thumb in his armor. Hook approaches him and Arthur threatens Hook, but Hook says there’s not much he can do to a dead man. Hook asks who killed him and Arthur says Hades. Hook asks Arthur if he’d like to go on a quest, but Arthur says not with him. Hook tells him that when he leaves the Underworld, he can go one of two places, and since he was a terrible king, he needs all the positive points he can get.

In Storybrooke, Merida, Emma and David find Arthur dead. Emma wants to find Hades, but David tells her she needs to get a grip and look at death the way most people do.

Hades tells Zelena that if anything happened to her or the baby, he’d be crushed, so he’s going to turn himself in. She tells him she doesn’t want to risk losing him again. She says she’ll put a protection spell on the building, so no one can get to him. He unwraps a broken crystal, saying he got it from his brother, Zeus, and he’s been waiting a long time to use it.

Regina sees there’s a protection spell on the town hall. She says they’ll have to talk some sense into Zelena and can get into the building through a tunnel. Emma says she wants to come, but Regina says she’s too emotional right now. Regina and Robin enter the tunnel and Regina apologizes for trusting Zelena.

Gold visits Belle’s father and tells him about the sleeping curse. He says she needs her father to wake her, but dad doesn’t want to help him. He says until Gold is gone for good, Belle will stay asleep. Gold says he thought that’s the reaction he was going to get and brandishes a cane, threatening to beat him with it again. I guess they’ve met before. Emma comes in and tells Gold to knock it off. She says Hades is in Storybrooke and she wants to know how to kill him. Gold doesn’t want to get involved.

Arthur and Hook go to Hades’s throne room. Hook says they have to find the pages of a storybook. They start going through Hades stuff. Arthur says it’s not there, but he looked for it the same way my husband looks for things, which is basically a cursory glance. Hook begs Arthur to help. He asks where Arthur would hide his treasure. They look in the throne and sure enough, there are the pages. Hook says he has to get the pages to Emma. They contain information on how to destroy a god.

Hook and Arthur go back to the diner where Cruella is sipping a martini. Hook asks where the phone booth is and she says she destroyed it. If she’s stuck there, so is everyone else. Hook asks about the book and she says it’s in the River of Lost Souls.

Snow is pouring over some ledgers. Emma says she doesn’t have time to help. She’s bent out of shape about Hook, and Snow tells her she can help him by helping them figure out how to defeat Hades.

Hades is putting the crystal back together. He says once he does, he and Zelena can prove everyone wrong and live however they want, they can even rule Storybrooke. She says she just wants a white picket fence life. The phone rings. It’s Gold welcoming Hades to Storybrooke. Gold asks if Hades wants to make a deal. He says he’ll protect Hades for a share in the Olympian crystal.

Robin and Regina get to the town hall. Regina apologizes again, but Robin says they did owe Zelena another chance. He tells Regina she’s his future. She asks what the plan is. He says his one rule is always have a way out, but he broke his rule. Regina says she doesn’t care and he says let’s get on with finding the baby.

Hook and Arthur search for the book. Hook tells Arthur to be careful and not touch the water or he could become a lost soul too. Arthur guards the boat while Hook starts to go up the stairs. One of the souls tries to pull Arthur into the water and Hook blasts it with a tiki torch. Another soul tries to take the book and Arthur pokes it with a torch. Hook grabs the book just before it falls into the water.

Arthur wonders how one kills the Lord of Death. Hook says it calls for an Olympian crystal.

In Storybrooke, Emma looks at the storybook. She sees a picture of her and Hook (omg — I can’t stop this from rhyming) and gets nostalgic. The book’s pages flip on their own and she sees the part about the crystal.

Hades gets the crystal put back together with Underworld Crazy Glue. Zelena suggests they leave. Hades says the only way to be safe is to be strong.

Robin tells Regina they need a distraction so he can gets his daughter. Regina feels someone entering the building. It’s Zelena and Hades. They leave and Robin says who needs a plan when they have blind luck on their side.

Zelena sees Emma. Emma says she doesn’t want to hurt her. Zelena says hurting Hades is the same thing. She gets the pages from Emma and says that’s proof they’re trying to kill the man…er, god she loves.

Robin picks the baby up and says everything is going to be okay. Hades pops out and begs to differ. He says the crystal will end Regina with no afterlife. He zaps her with the crystal but Robin steps in front of her. His soul disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. Regina weeps a little over his body and Hades says not to worry, they won’t be apart long.

Zelena comes in. Regina tells her what Hades has done. Hades says they need to use the crystal so they can have a kingdom. He says there’s no better revenge than having it all. Regina tries to get the crystal, but Zelena gets it instead. Regina tells her that she wanted her to find love, but love is sacrifice and means giving things up for the person you love. Hades tells Zelena if she kills Regina she’ll have everything she wants. Zelena says all she ever wanted was love and she thought that was enough for him. Now she realizes it never will be. She destroys Hades with the crystal. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke, not even leaving a body behind, just a pile of gravel.

Hook thanks Arthur for his help. Arthur is glad to have been on a righteous quest. Hook says he knows he was able to give Emma what she needed. A while light happens and Hook tells Arthur to come with him. Arthur says he was prophesied to fix a broken kingdom. He thought it was Camelot, but believes it’s the Underworld. Hook goes into the light.

Hook enters Olympus. Zeus meets him and congratulates and thanks him. He says he’s there to escort Hook home. He asks if Hook is ready and says it’s time to take him where he belongs.

Emma leaves a flask on Hook’s grave because she thought he’d like it better than flowers. She cries, saying there’s nothing left and she misses him. The others are laying Robin to rest, putting arrows adorned with roses on his casket. No offense to Robin, but his death didn’t exactly rock my world like they claimed it was going to in the preview last week.

Zelena names the baby Robin. Awww!

Snow tells Emma it’s not her fault. Emma wants to say good-by to Robin alone. She feels something and turns around to see Hook. They kiss and he’d better watch it with that hook. He almost got her in the back with it during the embrace. He says that as a reward for getting rid of Hades, Zeus sent him home.

Gold approaches the pile of gravel that was Hades and says he should have taken the deal. He finds the crystal and says it’s his kingdom now.

Next week, the 2-hour season finale which starts at 7 pm, Regina gets some hate going on, and Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Fear the Walking Dead

Someone is making pesto while listening to Patsy Cline. Alicia is watching a TV and Connor comes out and serves her an Omaha steak. He says he makes sure everyone gets a hot meal every night. She asks where Jack is and Connor says he wanted to meet her alone. She asks about Travis and Connor tells her to eat. She wonders where her family is and Connor says that they have to be selective about who they let in. He leaves to deal with the generator. Alicia is stuck with Pregnant Girl who steals her food. Huh?

Left alone, Alicia tries to find a way out. Everything is locked. She goes upstairs. It’s the deck of a large ship that’s docked in a shipyard.

Jack catches her and brings her back. He tells her it’s a good thing Connor didn’t catch her. He apologizes for leaving her alone but says Connor prefers getting to know new people by himself. Alicia asks about Travis and Jack says she can’t see him right now. She asks about her family and he asks if she trusts him. She says yes, and he says give him some time and he’ll find out.

Reed apparently isn’t dead. Daniel is tending to his wound. Chris is there and Reed harasses him. He’s pretty perky for a guy who’s impaled on a giant stick. He tells Daniel that when Connor finds out, there’ going to be hell to pay. He threatens Daniel’s daughter. Daniel says men who inspire fear don’t need to say how frightening they are. I think he stole that thought from The Fonz.

Daniel and Chris leave the room. Chris is annoyed, but Daniel says Reed is just scared. He tells Chris to guard the door, but don’t engage. Ofelia tells Daniel he should be resting and Daniel spaces out for a second, saying his mind is going to places it shouldn’t.

Daniel goes to the wheelhouse and tells Madison that Reed is Connor’s brother, so that should be leverage. He looks for a cluster of five boats on the monitor. Luis wants to know why they changed course. He’s concerned they’ll miss the window of opportunity to get to Mexico. She says her family comes first.

Luis bugs Victor about it, but he says everything is negotiable. Madison tells Luis he can stay on the boat. Daniel thinks they’ll need everyone to attack, but she says no. She thanks Victor, but he says she just bought herself half a day.

Jack gives Alicia the log book to keep track of boats that are seen on the monitor, saying everyone has to pull their weight, and she’ll make contact with the boats that Connor approves. They talk about how they thought the world was a safe place before, but maybe it wasn’t.

Down below, Travis is locked in some kind of cell. He finds a book and tears a piece off of a page. He uses it to fiddle with the lock, but someone comes down. It’s Alex, the woman from the raft. She had to kill her companion. He says when Connor found him, he asked what she had to offer. She gave him Abigail (Victor’s boat) and said she wanted Travis.

Madison tells Victor not to send Nick on anymore errands. He says Nick offered to go get Luis and without Luis, they can’t get into Mexico. She tells him not to come between her and her son again.

Jack teaches Alicia about the scanner. He sees something and starts looking through the log. Alicia realizes that one of the boats is the Abigail. She asks what happens to the people on the boats that Connor approves. Jack says he doesn’t know and Alicia says she has to find her family. Jack says they’ll go together.

Madison tells Nick not to pull anything like that again. He’s loading a gun and she tells him not to get too comfortable with it.

Alicia wonders if the boat had mechanical problems. Jack asks if she’s sure that she wants to do this. He calls Connor.

Alex tells Travis that he’s the one who put them in the raft. He says they couldn’t risk her companion turning. She says she saw his face and he knew what was going to happen and the right thing to do, but chose the other.

Victor and Daniel see the shipyard and Victor says it’s time to knock on the front door.

Travis tells Alex that he has a son who watches him and he tries not to be a part of the violence. He says he can’t tell her what she wants to hear and he’s no better than the man who cut the rope. He says he had to do the same thing to his son’s mother that she did to the guy in the raft. He asks if they can be more than what they’ve become and she says she doesn’t know. He asks what’s gong to happen to her. She says Connor said he could use her, but people don’t use her.

Reed talks to Chris through the door and stupid Chris engages. Reed says Connor has plans for his sister and Chris asks if he needs to gag Reed. Reed says Chris doesn’t look like either of his parents and they have being outsiders in common. He tells Chris to be prepared, because when the time comes, the people he calls his family will put him down like a stray.

Nick comes along and asks Chris what’s wrong. Chris says if he had pulled the trigger none of this would have happened and they’d be in Mexico. Nick tells him it’s not his fault.

Alicia goes downstairs and sees Travis. She tells him that the Abigail is nearby and it’s too soon for them to have gone to Mexico and back. She says Jack wants out too and is going to help. Travis tells her not to do anything stupid. Jack comes down and says they have to leave.

On the Abigail, Connor radios Reed and tells him to dock. Madison says he can have his brother when she gets her family back. He asks what they did with Reed and she says nothing — yet. She says he’s alive, but if Connor wants him, he has to trade her family for Reed. Connor says okay. Nick says he’ll go, but Madison tells Connor she’ll see him in an hour.

Oops! Too late. Chris shot Reed. He tells Ofelia that Reed was going to turn, but that’s highly debatable. Luis says they’re going south, but Daniel says no. Chris tells Madison that Reed was going to turn. She says he doesn’t know that, but he insists he did. He tells her the gun is Reed’s and she takes it from him. He says he hopes he didn’t screw anything up and she says they’ll figure it out.

Connor tells Jack to get the girl and that the plans have changed. Travis wants to see his family and Connor tells him soon.

Ofelia tells Nick that Chris said Reed was going to turn. Well, either he lied or didn’t do a good enough job, because Reed just turned. Nick is about to put him down, but Daniel says not yet and pushes Reed back so that he’s stuck to the wall by the pole that’s through his middle. I was just thinking that my plan would be to let him turn and then give him back to his brother.

Daniel puts a sack over Reed’s head. Ofelia comes in and says it’s time.

Jack can’t find Alicia who’s hiding in a cupboard.

Nick tells Madison he’s better with the boat and the rest of them need her. She says no and he asks why. She says because he wants to. Daniel loads Reed into the boat and Madison takes off. Nick and Victor are looking at the shore through binoculars and Nick says he only sees Travis.

Pregnant Girl confronts Alicia and says she can stay in the cage. Alicia knocks her down and locks her in. Nice work. On the dock, Madison asks where her daughter is. Connor says she’ll get her when he sees his brother is okay. Alicia shoves Reed at him and he gets bitten. The guy with him starts to come after Madison, but Travis head butts him which is pretty impressive since his hands are bound

Jack asks Alicia what’s going on and she says her family came for her. Jack asks if that’s who she really wants to be with. He says they’re going to abandon her. She says sorry, and jumps off the boat into the water. Travis hauls her into the lifeboat. They leave as Alicia gazes at Jack who I guess turned out to be an okay guy

Next week, Daniel gets violent, the group heads for Mexico, Madison says they have to hide.

Shahs of Sunset

Camping — night one. MJ is looking for a corkscrew. Reza is doing some grilling and it looks mighty tasty. GG asks how everyone is doing and Shervin says how much he loves the place and thanks her for bringing them. GG tells Mike her anger isn’t about a particular thing. She says they go way back and he’s always talked down to her. He says it’s something he has to work on and realizes that he needs to fix that. He says ill feelings are toxic to him and he wants to let it go.

Reza says the talk is giving him hope. GG and Mike hug. In his interview, Reza says he hopes we enjoyed that heartfelt moment, because now we’re going to be led down another road.

Reza plants a false-positive pregnancy test and a map to a Mexican clinic, along with a few pesos, in MJ’s purse. Shervin tells MJ they just found all this in her purse. Although he doesn’t explain what they were doing with her purse in the first place. MJ says there weren’t even enough pesos to get a morning after pill, never mind a clinic.

Mike is on the phone with Jessica and the others keep trying to get him to hang up and join them. He tells MJ that Jessica comes first and asks her to have his back. They rejoin the group and MJ suggests a family meeting. Reza brings up how MJ discouraged his wedding idea. He says he loves her, but wishes she knew that no matter how the pie was sliced, the pieces were equal. I have no idea what he means by that. GG is drunk and making no sense. She says she’s done with people and doesn’t want to talk. She asks Shervin to make her a beer with hot sauce and lime, and tells Asa to go away. The girls go to bed. Reza says he realizes that the Mike and GG moment is all he’s getting tonight. The guys start goofing around and Reza chases Mike and Shervin around with the liquid poopy.

Reza makes breakfast. Asa says instead of an intervention, they had pranks. Asa has some things planned for them. She’s signed them up for some kind of obstacle rope course to challenge GG. They take the RV to wherever the course is. Mike tells the friends about trouble in paradise at home.

GG says the obstacle course looks challenging, although I would use the word impossible. She’s still recovering from her hand surgery, but she’s going to do it anyway. Everyone is encouraging. Reza says the course is representative of their lives and GG needs someone to help her. She makes it through the first course. She has to stop, but says she did a lot more than she thought she could. Asa is proud. The others do the second course and I’m exhausted just watching. The instructor has told them that only 10% finish the third one. Mike encourages Reza. This one looks scary. They’re doing a hand over hand thing going across at it’s very high up.

Afterwards for some relaxation, they do ziplining. Reza says it seems like old times.

Reza asks if they can keep an eye on GG’s drinking, since she was incoherent the night before. GG is puzzled that he should bring this up now, since they just spent an amazing time together. MJ says that the course brought up a lot of emotion and she realizes her mother has always played it safe in life. She says that when her mother is being impossible, it’s just that she doesn’t know how to do it any other way. She says Vida once got her heart broken and now she takes no risks. She says her life choices are different from those of her parents.

They stop at a restaurant, but GG isn’t hungry. Reza proposes that GG make a toast. He asks why she’s so quiet and she says she’s choosing to be. She says if anybody has a feeling of any sort to tell her, not discuss it among themselves. Reza says she gets angry when she doesn’t like something and she says it’s better than talking behind someone’s back. MJ says the talk she and GG had was disappointing and right now she doesn’t want GG to be at her funeral because her soul will affect the dirt. That’s a new one to me. In his interview, Mike says GG is a little girl trapped in a woman’s body.

The Shahs build a fire and Mike shoos a coyote away. Reza says ghosts and coyotes don’t mess with Persians. Mike tells Reza that he was a little aggressive with GG. He tells GG that being vulnerable isn’t bad and sometimes your friends can point out things you don’t see. She says her future has changed because of her arthritis. She doesn’t even know if she should have children for fear of passing it along. Mike says she has to fight. GG says she’s had it for five years and did everything right, but she’s giving up now. She says she can’t sit with her own thoughts any more and doesn’t know how to reach out.

Shervin says they want the GG back that they used to know. He tells her that some people who couldn’t be there wrote letters. One of the letters is from her dad, but she says she’s not ready for that. She tells him that she’s not strong enough. Shervin says if the letter makes her upset, she can punch him, and she agrees if she can punch him in the nuts. For Shervin’s sake, that had better be a happy letter.

Shervin reads the letter and it’s very sweet. GG says it’s a rush of emotions that she can’t hide. Asa says everyone believes in her and GG says in a weird way, she’s happy. She says it was time to listen to what her friends had to say. Mike says she’s now opened her mind to the universe and allowed knowledge to come in and guide her. Hugs all around.

GG says she thinks the trip was good for everyone and at the end of the day they’re a loving, dysfunctional family.

Next week, Shervin goes on a date, MJ tells her mother that she wants a baby, and Mike screws up with Jessica, which probably isn’t hard to do.

Game of Thrones

So now that the question of Jon Snow’s death has been answered, we might as well not watch this anymore. Just kidding.

Davos sees Jon sit up. Jon checks himself out and sees all the stab wounds. He tries to get up, and wobbles, but Davos catches him. Davos asks what he remembers and he says they all stabbed him and he shouldn’t be there. The Red Woman asks what he saw after he died and he says nothing. She says the Lord let him come back for a reason and that Stannis wasn’t the promised king, but someone has to be.

Davos says it seems crazy to him, so he can imagine how it must seem to Jon. Jon wonders why he came back, but Davos says it doesn’t matter. Jon says he thought he’d done the right thing, but he failed.

Edd and the Castle Black gang are milling around outside. Jon and Davos come out. Tormund tells Jon they think he’s some kind of god and Jon says he isn’t. Tormund makes a joke about Jon’s weenie not being so godlike. Edd asks if it’s still him in there and Jon says he thinks so.

Gilly, Sam and the baby are at sea when a storm brews up. Sam isn’t feeling well and Gilly tries to make jokes. Sam throws up. Gilly says she can’t wait to see Oldtown. Sam says there’s no women there, so they’re going to his hometown. He says his mother will take care of her, but Gilly reminds him that he’d said they’d be together. He says he cares about Gilly and the baby and wants them to be safe. She says if he thinks that’s for the best, she trusts him. Sam gets sick again.

Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven are having a vision. Bran sees his father as a younger man. Ned asks why the Kingsguards didn’t protect their king and asks where his sister is. Ser Arthur Dayne says now it begins, but Ned says now it ends. Ned’s men dispatch the Kingsguards pretty quickly until only Ser Dayne is left. Bran said that his father told him Ser Dayne was the best swordsman ever and apparently so, since he was surrounded two seconds ago and now it’s just him and Ned. Ned loses his sword and Howland comes up from behind and stabs Ser Dayne in the back. Ned finishes him off. Bran realizes this isn’t the story Ned told about it.

Ned starts going up the steps to a tower where Lyanna is and Bran calls out to him. Ned pauses and the Raven wakes Bran. Bran says he wants to see what’s in the tower. The Raven says if he stays too long in a place, he might not return. Bran says it beats sitting in a tree with an old guy. The Raven says he won’t be there forever, but for now he must learn. Everything.

Dany travels with the Dothraki to the place where widowed Khaleesis go. A woman is tending a fire and Dany gets stripped of her clothing and jewelry. She says they’ve made a mistake. The woman says she’s young and will learn — if they decide to keep her. She says Dany went out into the world after Khal Drago died and that is forbidden.

Varys meets with a woman who helped the Sons of the Harpy with their murder spree. She says if he’s going to torture her, get on with it, but he just wants answers. He says she helped the Sons of the Harpy to murder the unsullied and the queen’s guards. She says they were interlopers who didn’t belong there. He says he looks at it differently. He tells her she conspired to kill the queen’s soldiers and how will her son get on without his mother? She says if she talks, she’ll be killed, so either way she’s dead. Varys says there’s a third option, a boat sailing at dawn. She needs to decide if she wants a new life for her and her son.

Tyrion meets with Grey Worm and Missandei. He wonders what they could talk about to pass the time. He asks what they usually talk about and Grey Worm says his patrols. Tyrion says that’s a report not a conversation. He says they should play a game and Grey Worm says games are for children. Tyrion tries to think of a game that doesn’t involve drinking.

Varys comes back and tells them that the soldiers came from other cities. Grey Worm says they’ll have to leave to fight them, but Tyrion says they need him here.

Qyburn is talking to a group of children. They are Varys’s “little birds.” He gives them sweets and says he might want to hear some chirping. Ser Gregor comes in with Jaime and Cersei. The children leave and Qyburn says they’re Cersei’s little birds now. She gives him a list of things she wants to know about.

Olenna is sitting with the small counsel who are pissed at Varys. Cersei comes in and asks why Olenna is there. She says for one thing, they have her granddaughter imprisoned. Cersei says she’s glad Olenna brought it up because she wants to whine about her own indignities that she suffered. Olenna says Margaery is the queen, not Cersei. The head guy says they can’t make her leave, but she can’t make them stay either and they all walk out.

Tommen approaches the High Sparrow about Cersei seeing her daughter’s resting place. The High Sparrow says she hasn’t completely atoned yet. Tommen says as king he orders it. The High Sparrow says Cersei is deceptive, but when she speaks about Tommen, her mother’s love shines through. He says when she made her walk of atonement, she did it to get back to Tommen. He says a true leader avails himself of the wisest council he can and no one is wiser than the gods. He says the best they can do is help each other bring out the good in themselves.

The Waif asks Arya about her family. She asks where her family is now and Arya doesn’t know. She asks about The Hound and Arya says he’s dead. She says he was on Arya’s death list, but was taken off. The Waif asks if she doesn’t want him dead anymore and Arya says she does and she doesn’t. (Is this a foreshadowing?) The Waif asks for her death list, but thinks it’s too short. Arya asks what name she’d like on it. The conversation is interspersed with Arya getting trounced by The Waif.

Jaqen comes in and The Waif leaves. He says if Arya tells him her name, she can have her eyes back. He gives her something to drink and says if she is truly no one, she has nothing to fear. She drinks it and can see again. He asks who she is and she says no one.

One of the lords comes to Winterfell to talk to Ramsay. Ramsay asks why he’s there and he says that Wildings came through the wall. Ramsay says to pledge his loyalty to House Bolton and they’ll fight together. The lord says he’s not bowing down to Ramsay, but he has a gift for him. It’s Rickon Stark along with Osha. Ramsay asks how he knows that’s him and the lord shows him the head of Rickon’s direwolf. Ramsay tells Rickon, welcome home.

Jon has the men who stabbed him hanged. He asks if they have any last words. One says he shouldn’t be alive, it’s not right, and Jon says neither was killing him. Ser Aliser says he had a choice to betray him or betray the Night’s Watch, and that Jon brought Wildings into their space. Jon ponders a little while everyone watches, and then cuts the rope and the floor drops out. Pretty fancy.

Jon gives his cloak to Edd telling him he has Castle Black now. Jon’s watch has ended. Well, technically, he died, so that is an out.

Next week, Peter wants to find Sansa, Theon goes home, and Ser Jorah finds Dany.