What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Drew says he did something, and Carly’s not going to like it. She says that’s her favorite opener to any conversation, and he says he wishes he had a different one. She says, lay it on her, and he says he had an idea to mitigate the financial hit she took on Aurora stock, and generate enough capital for her to hold on to the hotel. She says, that doesn’t sound too bad. What part is she not going to like? He says, the whole plan is contingent on Nina.

Sonny asks what Carly did, and Nina says she’s sorry; she just assumed he already knew. He says, knew what? and she says, Carly invested heavily in Aurora, and when the merger didn’t happen with ELQ, she lost quite a bit of money. He asks, what’s quite a bit? and Nina says, she lost her half of the MetroCourt.

At the stables, Willow tells Michael that she loves horses. When she was a little girl, she had one. Technically, he wasn’t hers, but she loved him like he was. He says, she’s been holding out on him; he didn’t know that. Just say the word and he’ll get her a horse of her own. She thanks him, but says, they should probably wait a little bit. She’s pretty sure horseback riding isn’t a recommended prenatal activity. He says, right, she’s pregnant, and she says she is. He says, with their baby, and she says, that’s correct. He says he doesn’t think he’s ever felt so grateful in his life, and she says, her either. They kiss, and Cody comes to the door, clearing his throat. He apologizes, saying, he’s never been known for his timing. He’s the new stable hand, Cody Bell.

At the hospital, Doc says he appreciates Britt’s help with this, and she says, it’s the least she can do after his clutch play at the all-star game. He says, it was pretty clutch, wasn’t it? It was fun. She says, probably because they were there for a good cause. No cynical ulterior motive behind it. He says, as opposed to… and she says, that nightmare – air quotes – charity mixer – end air quotes – Society Set-Ups put on. He says he hadn’t heard about that, and she says, he might literally be the only person. He asks what he missed, and she says, just the lowest moment of her life that now resides on the internet for all of eternity.

Flora holds up her papoose, and says, it keeps the baby secure, promotes mother/child bonding – Felty snaps more pictures – and it’s so easy to use, which many of you moms know, isn’t always the case. She asks Sasha to help her demonstrate, and Brando says he has to stop this, but Lucy says he can’t. This is live TV; he’ll only humiliate Sasha. Haven suggests Flora demonstrate it herself, but Flora tells Sasha, don’t be intimidated. It goes on in three easy steps. Haven says, it sounds amazing, doesn’t it Sasha? and Sasha says, it sure does. Please show her how it’s done. Flora puts the papoose on Sasha, and tells the viewers that she can’t say enough about the benefits of carrying your child close to your body; it actually soothes them. Maxie tells Lucy, this is more than Sasha can or should handle, and Lucy asks what they’re supposed to do. Maxie walks in view of Haven and waves her arms, but no one pays attention, and Haven asks, what inspired Flora to create this baby carrier? Flora says she just couldn’t abide some of the contraptions she saw well-meaning parents toting their babies around in. She knew she could come up with something better. Haven says, and she did. She asks if it’s Sasha’s first time wearing a baby carrier, and Flora says, she put it on like an old pro. Sasha says she might have practiced with another product, but this one is much simpler, and Flora says, now they’re going to show everyone how securely it holds the baby. She takes a doll out of the box, and asks if Sasha is ready for her little bundle of joy. Haven asks if Sasha is ready for the baby.

Britt tells Doc, she might have had a few too many cocktails; they were free. He says, understood, and she says, there she was, holding court about the romance industrial complex, when out of nowhere, a skydiver came down and knocked her into the pool. She could have drowned under that stupid parachute. He says she seems no worse for wear, and she says, maybe, but it was ugly, and now it’s a GIF; a never-ending reminder. He says, hardly ideal, and she says, no, it’s not. He says he takes it she’s cut all ties with that particular dating service, and she says, you would think, wouldn’t you? But no, she’s decided to give Society Set-Ups another try. It’s not their fault they hired a shoddy skydiver with lousy aim. He says, actually, that’s exactly what they did, when an orderly comes out, and tells Britt that a patient left this behind after an exam. He shows her Cody’s belt, and says, Britt was listed as a contact on his paperwork. She says, he’s got to be kidding.

Michael introduces himself and Willow, and Cody says, Olivia told him that they were going to show him around. Willow says she thinks the term Olivia used was, get him settled; make him feel at home. Michael says, always a mother hen, and Cody says, it’s a nice set-up. Michael says, Cody’s room and bathroom are upstairs. There’s a boathouse and a pool on the premises, so Cody can use either for his leisure. Cody says he appreciates the hospitality, and Willow tells him, Olivia said he and Dante went to summer camp together. Cody says, glory days. He thinks he’s actually the first person to get Dante up on a horse, and Michael says, and the last. Cody says, probably. He can’t even picture it. He asks if Michael and Dante are close, and Michael says, yeah. They’re half-brothers through adoption; it’s complicated. But since Cody and Dante are old friends, it’s no surprise Olivia trusted him with the family horses.

Nina tells Sonny, she guesses Drew feels guilty because Carly lost all that money investing in the success of Aurora. He’s trying to raise capital, and even asked her if she wanted to buy Crimson outright. Sonny says, and? and Nina says, she turned him down. She doesn’t feel it’s right to take advantage of Drew’s sudden reversal of fortune. She knows what he’s going to say. He says, doubtful, and she says she didn’t say no because the outcome would have benefited Carly, but he says, that’s not what he was going to say. She tells him, she said no because if she pays what Crimson is truly worth, she’d have overinvested in herself. He asks what that means, and she says, he knows she loves her magazine, but investing in print media right now is really risky, and there’s no guaranteed long-term return. Plus, on top of that, she doesn’t want to be editor-in-chief and owner. She wants Crimson to be taken seriously; not viewed as some vanity project for a real estate heiress with nothing better to do. Those are her reasons for saying no. He says, very astute, and she thanks him. He says, she clearly has a head for business. Carly used to as well. It looks like something has clouded her judgement.

Carly says, Drew is right. If Nina’s involved, she doesn’t like it. Drew says, don’t worry; it didn’t happen. Nina wasn’t interested. She says, in what exactly? and he says he offered to sell her Crimson. Carly asks, why? and he says, so he could use the proceeds to reimburse Carly for her losses. She asks if Crimson isn’t the most profitable title in their print division, and he says, yeah. She says, and Aurora’s stocks have flatlined, and he says he’s aware. She says he’s going to need every asset to stay in business, so why on earth would he try to sell his best one? He says, because he got her into this and it’s on him to get her out.

Willow introduces Cody to horse Comet, and Cody tells the horse, nice to meet you. She says, Comet belongs to Leo Quartermaine, and Cody says, Olivia told him that her son’s on the spectrum. He can’t imagine anything better than horses to help with a kid. Help anyone for that matter. Horses are a lot like people They have individual personalities, and when you gain their trust, it’s a bond like no other. Sorry. He gets sentimental when he talks about these things. Willow says she doesn’t blame him, and Michael says, his understanding of horses will be great for Leo. They’re glad to have him. Cody says, not half as glad as he is.

Carly wonders if she asked Drew to come to her rescue, and he says, is that what she heard? She says, yeah, and he says, the failed merger is on him. When the executive consult suggested it, he jumped at the idea. He pitched the idea to Michael, and they developed a strategy around it. She says, and Ned betrayed them, but he says, he should have seen that coming. Because in-fighting is what the Quartermaines do best. He should have at least factored in the possibility that Ned would turn. He and Michael probably wouldn’t have mentioned the merger to Ned in the first place. She says she doesn’t believe that because it would make him like Ned, who’s exactly like Edward, and they had this discussion. He’s Lila. He’s Lila’s side of the family. He says, maybe he needs to lean more to Edward’s example; look where his high ideals have gotten him. She tells him, don’t do that. Don’t take responsibility for her choices.

Nina tells Sonny that she’s surprised too, that Carly would risk her stake in the hotel. He knows as well as she does, that Carly and Olivia made the MetroCourt a five-star destination; it’s a huge success. He says, it’s definitely a bad business move, which makes him think Carly’s investment move isn’t just about business. Michael’s lashing out at him, and Carly wants to back Michael, so she overinvested. She asks how he feels about that, and he says, that Carly’s been drawn into Michael’s vendetta? Not good. He’s just trying to live his life, but he’s not going to let her twist. Nina says, of course (🍷) not, and he says, Carly is the mother of his children. She says she gets it, and knowing him, she’d expect nothing less. He thanks her for understanding, and says he’ll catch up with her later. She says, sounds great, and he leaves.  

The stage manager holds Maxie back, as Flora says the doll (now in the carrier on Sasha) weighs 15 pounds, but the carrier can hold 8 to 33 pounds; ideally covering infancy to age 3. Flora (who I consistently want to call Luna) asks Sasha to move a little bit, and Haven (who I consistently want to call Morgan) says, it looks secure. The stage manager keeps Maxie, Brando, and Lucy at bay, while Flora and Haven go on about the benefits of the carrier, and Sasha moves very slowly across the stage. Haven asks Sasha how it feels, and Sasha suddenly sees a real baby in the carrier. She says, she knew it couldn’t be true. Sweetheart, you’re alive.

Carly says, she knows Drew doesn’t mean to sound condescending, and he says, but he does. She says, it’s not his fault she bought all that Aurora stock. In fact, he went out of his way to discourage her, and she didn’t listen. In true Carly fashion, she went all in. He says, but this place… and she says, she knows. It’s heartbreaking, the thought of losing it, but it’s her loss, and it’s her fault; certainly not his. Sonny walks in and asks if she’s got a second, but she says she’s in the middle of something. Drew says, it’s okay; they’ll talk later. He leaves, but forgets his phone, and lingers outside. Sonny says, he heard she could lose her half of the MetroCourt, and she asks, who told him? Olivia? Nina? It doesn’t matter; the public will know soon enough. He says, they don’t have to. That’s why he’s here. Let him help.

Michael asks what Willow thinks of Cody, and she says she thinks he’s charming, and he knows it. Michael says, not more than him, but she says, never. He says, he likes Cody, and she says, her too. She doesn’t think you can fake how you feel about horses. It’s clear to her that Cody’s care and concern are real, and what he said about gaining their trust… She remembers how special that felt; that bond she shared with Hector. He says, Hector? and she says, he was an old cow pony, and he’d been through God knows how many riders, but she was 12, and fell in love with him. She gave him so much attention, it was ridiculous. And he came to the fence when she whistled for him. Other people would try, but he would only amble over for her. He asks, what happened to Hector? but she says she doesn’t know. When her mother became disenchanted with that community, they moved on. She got to say goodbye to him and give him one last apple, but that was it. She never saw him again. He asks how many times they moved, and she says, too many to count. He says he’s sorry. It’s not going to be that way with their kids; not Wiley or their new baby.

Cody says he’ll tell Comet a secret, if Comet will keep it between them. He’s a hustler. He’s in it for the money, but what he really wants is a place of his own, where no one can steal what he loves… assuming he ever lets himself love anything again. Britt walks in with his belt, and says, lose something?

On the phone, Nina says, just call her when it’s done… Thanks. She hangs up, and says, Sasha. She turns on the TV, as Sasha is saying, my baby boy, I’ve missed you so much… Liam.

Flora asks if Sasha is okay, and Sasha says, she’s perfect. Her sweet Liam. She almost forgot how beautiful he is. Brando says, that’s it. Stop the show. He walks onto the set, and Sasha says, it’s Liam. It’s okay; their son is here with her. He says he sees, and Felty tries to take pictures, but Lucy gives him the bum’s rush, saying, get out! Get out! Brando asks if Sasha knows where she’s at, and she suddenly freaks out, and says, where’s Liam? He tells her to look at him, and she cries as he holds her. Lucy and Maxie cling to each other.

Okay I just have to say it do you mean no one knew about the loss of Sasha’s baby? She was also the Face of Conception. Where do they think the baby went? This is pissing me off big time. I also doubt some big-time host would be so unprofessional.

Sonny tells Carly, it’s not a time to be proud; use her head. She asks what her head is telling her, and he says, she waived her claim to any community property, and walked away with just the house when she had every right to those assets. He’s going to have his accountant valuate them, and she’ll get what she should have gotten in the beginning, 50%. She says, no. They’re divorced. She got exactly what she wanted; what they agreed on in the settlement. She wanted the house and nothing more. He says, nothing more from him? Is she going to be that stubborn, and let her anger keep her from what she’s owed when she needs it? This is the MetroCourt; it’s her baby. She says, it’ll be fine, and he asks, how? She says she doesn’t know; she’ll figure it out. She doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. He says, okay, if that’s how she wants it, and she says, it is. Drew listens, and Sonny says, he just wants to say one thing. There’s going to come time a when she’ll have to come here and pay to sit at the pool she used to own. He offered; she turned him down. He walks away.

Flora tells Lucy, she’s so terribly sorry. She had no idea Sasha lost a child, and so recently. Haven strides over, and tells Flora, don’t apologize. Any responsible representative should have been able to improvise when Flora dropped in. Lucy assured her that Sasha was camera ready, that those problems with emotional instability and drugs were behind her. Lucy says, excuse me? It was never stated anywhere that Sasha was required to promote a baby carrier. They would never have agreed to it in a million years. Flora says, of course (🍷) not. She can’t imagine how much pain Sasha’s in, and Haven says she doesn’t have to imagine; Sasha just showed their entire viewership. Lucy says, Haven really has no heart, and Haven says, their fans tune in to enjoy themselves, to be cheered up; to escape from the hum and drum of the mundane and maybe acquire some beautiful and useful things. Right now, they’re showing reruns. This is a nightmare. People are calling in for items that were sold out months ago. This is a disaster, and it’s all Lucy’s fault. So buckle up, sweetheart, because Home & Heart is going to sue. Selina appears, and says, she’d strongly advise against that.

Michael says, while they have their flaw, and they are many, the Quartermaines are a settled family. She asks what he means, and he says, when Alan bought this property and built the house and gave it to Monica… Willow says, he did? She’s kidding. He laughs and says, Port Charles has been the Quartermaines’ home, and it’s going to be their children’s home… If she wants it to be; they’re not mandated to live here. She says she knows, and he says, their hearts aren’t going to break like hers did. They’re not going to have to leave what they love behind. She says she never dreamed in a million years that she’d get to live somewhere so beautiful. The lake, the homes, the gardens; it’s all so breathtaking. But the buildings and property mean nothing without the people in them. Her home is with him, Wiley, and Wiley’s little brother or sister. They could live in a bunker for all she cares. He says, this is better, she says, much better, and he kisses her.

Cody thanks Britt for bringing his belt back. It’s one of his prized possessions. He got it at a rodeo in Cheyenne. She says she can see how much it means to him, seeing he left it behind in an exam room, and he says, so sorry for being a tad distracted. Not knowing where you’re going to live, or where your next meal is coming from can do that to a guy. She says he seems to have solved that problem, and he says, sure did; room and board included. Comet whinnies, and he says, and he gets to work with the horses; it’s a win-win. He pets Comet, and says, right, bud? She asks, is it’s just her, or are horses fonder of him than humans? and he says, only certain humans. She says, like the ones who left him beat up in that alley? and he says, that was all a misunderstanding. She says, a misunderstanding that cracked his ribs? and he says, and look at him now; gainfully employed and doing what he loves. There’s a pool here, and a boathouse, and apparently, he’s allowed to use both. She says, living the good life. She’s out. That belt was her last goodwill gesture. For future reference, she’s not his emergency contact. He says, who else was he supposed to put down? (Um… Dante?) and she says, she barely knows him, and wishes she didn’t know him at all. She starts to leave, and he says, no wonder she has to rely on a matchmaking service. She comes back, and says, what was that? He says, her interpersonal skills could use some work, and she says, don’t put her name on his paperwork again. He says he’s sorry, and she says, which part? He says, all of it. He owes her big time for helping him in that alley, and now returning his belt. He just… actually, he thinks he has the perfect way to repay her.

Willow says, it’s amazing how different it feels this time, and Michael says, being pregnant? She says, the love is just as strong, but when she realized Shiloh had gotten her pregnant, she was so scared and so desperate to save her baby, every decision was about making sure Shiloh didn’t find him. Michael says, so she gave him up. It’s the bravest thing she could have done. She says, and the hardest, but now she gets to experience the good parts; the excitement and the dreams for his or her future. Because this time, she gets to be a part of that future. Their baby, conceived in love. He says, losing Jonah will be a heaviness they’ll always carry, but it’s also a reminder of how blessed they are. She says, with Wiley, and now this little one on the way, how lucky are they? He says, the luckiest.

Brando brings Sasha into the hospital, while Maxie follows, and Sasha says she swears, Liam was right there in her arms. Brando thanks Doc for meeting them, and Doc says, of course (🍷). He asks Sasha how she’s doing, and Maxie says, she was asked to demonstrate a baby carrier on live TV. Brando says, it was just too much for her after losing their son, and Doc asks if there were any indications before the broadcast that Sasha was struggling. Brando says, nothing that stands out to him, but his mom has been concerned Sasha was using again. Maxie says she doesn’t know if this is protocol, but here’s her purse. She hands it to Doc, and Doc says, he’d need the spouse’s permission to open it. Sasha says, no, please, just give it to her, but Brando tells her, it’s okay. He tells Doc that it’s okay to open it, and Doc takes out the pills. Sasha cries.

Sonny goes back to Nina’s Crimson office, and finds her crying. He asks, what happened? and she says, Sasha was doing an appearance on live television and had a complete meltdown. It was awful. Sonny holds her as she cries.

Carly looks at the pool and gets weepy. She sits at the edge, puts her feet in, and cries. Drew comes in, and holds out a beer. She takes it.

Cody asks if Britt likes to ride, but she says, no. He asks if she’d like to think about it for a minute, and she says, sure… yeah… no. He asks if she’s ever tried, and she says, when she was a kid. She ended up on her butt, and realized it’s one of those things that looks better in the movies than it does in real life. He says he can’t even begin to tell her how wrong she is about that, and she says, yet he just did. He says he can teach her to ride so she’ll love it, but she says she’s all set, thanks. He says, it will change her world, and she asks if he didn’t hear her say she didn’t want to. He says, what he heard was that she’s afraid to. Those are two very different things. Does she know the expression, get back on the horse? She says, everybody knows that expression, and he says, the only way to conquer your fears is try again. Lucky for her, he’s an experienced teacher. She says, he’s had this job all of 10 minutes, and he’s already offering lessons on a property and horse he doesn’t own. He says, excuses, excuses. If she’s ever willing to push past her cowardice and rise to the challenge, she knows where to find him. She says she’ll do that, and leaves. He tells Comet, she likes me. I can tell.

Selina says she admires Haven’s commitment to simplicity and sustainability, and apologizes for this unfortunate accident. Flora says she’s the one who should be apologizing. Had she known that poor woman had lost a child… Selina says, but she didn’t, through no fault of her own. Flora says she thinks she might take a break from Home & Heart altogether, and walks away. Haven asks who Selina is, and what she’s doing here, and Selina says, she’s a shareholder in Deception. Haven asks how she got access to the studio, and Selina says she was watching the broadcast and saw how Haven mangled the situation. Haven says, please. She did everything possible to stave off this disaster; one that Deception created. Flora is their biggest seller. Her appearances are always best sellers. She’s sure Selina realizes that’s a little more revenue her company has just cost them. Selina says, that’s nothing compared to the negative publicity Haven will receive when Deception calls her out for the callous treatment of a grieving mother. The way she sees it, Haven has two option. One; Deception can thank her for her support, and laud Home & Heart for its kindness. Or they can file suit for damages because Haven didn’t do her homework and subjected Sasha to emotional duress. Which works better for her? Haven says, please give Sasha her best wishes for a very swift recovery, and Lucy tells her, don’t you worry. I sure will. Haven leaves, and Lucy tells Selina that she’s actually speechless. Selina just saved their bacon. Selina says she was dismayed when she saw Sasha’s meltdown. She paid good money for her Deception stock. She expects an equally good return. Keep better control on her talent, or there will be consequences.

Brando asks how long Sasha’s been taking the pills, and she says, it was just to help her through; just a few. She’s sorry. He says, don’t be sorry, but she says she shouldn’t have lied to him. She’s just so tired. Can they go home? He asks what Doc thinks, and Doc says he recommends keeping Sasha for observation. Brando asks, for how long? and Doc says, they could start with a 72 hour hold. Brando tells Sasha, Doc thinks she should stay at the hospital for now, but she says, no. She wants to go home. She’ll be better; she promises. Doc says, as her husband, Brando can authorize the hold, and Brando asks if Doc thinks she needs it. Doc says, he does. It’s the best first step to starting to heal. Maxie says, they can trust Doc; he’s the best there is. Does Brando really think it’s safe for Sasha to go home? Brando says, okay, and Doc says he’ll take Sasha to her room. An administrator will walk Brando through the paperwork. Sasha reaches for him, and says, no, don’t leave her. She wants to go home with him. She doesn’t want to be here. She wails, please, as Doc wheels her away.

Nina tells Sonny, Sasha was demonstrating a baby carrier. The carrier had a doll in it, and when Sasha looked down, she started talking to Liam. She insisted that her little boy had come back to her. Heartbreak is not strong enough a word. Sonny says he’ll call Brando, but she says, Brando was there; he came from behind the camera to help her. Nina talked to Maxie, and Sasha’s at GH right now. He says, that’s good; they’ll know what to do, right? She says she’s just grateful Brando is there to support Sasha. She knows what that grief is like, waking up and finding out that your baby is gone. And she felt that feeling again when she found out Nelle was her daughter, and it was too late to help her. She cries, and Sonny says, Nina didn’t have anybody to help her her grieve. It’s okay. She doesn’t have to be alone anymore. He’ll be there for her every step of the way. He holds her while she cries.

Drew puts his feet in the water, and Carly says, he wasn’t supposed to see that. He says, nothing wrong with a good cry. He would even venture to say it helps. She asks if he cries a lot, and he says, all the time; every chance he gets. She says she put so much of herself in the MetroCourt, it’s hard to say goodbye. He says, but she didn’t have to. He forgot his phone earlier, and when he came back for it… She says, he heard her talking to Sonny. He asks why she turned Sonny down, and she says, does he really have to ask that? He says he guesses he doesn’t, and she says, it’s her problem. It’s her responsibility, and she’s certainly not going to let Sonny bail her out. Drew says, it wouldn’t be a bailout; she’s entitled to those assets. She says she doesn’t want them. Not after what Sonny did at the hearing. He comforted Nina after her attorney attacked his own son. That’s not a man she knows, and certainly not a man she wants to be indebted to. She’ll figure something out… He thinks she’s an idiot, doesn’t he? He says, that is literally the last thing he thinks. Carly Corinthos may be down, but she’s never out. She says, some people might say the same thing about him. he raises his bottle and says, to her. She says, to us, rising again. He says, hear, hear, and they clink bottles.   

Brook asks Ned if she’s just supposed to just give up; Laura tells Anna, she’s got to start eliminating a clear and present danger; Gregory says, Alexis hasn’t seen his best yet; and Victor says he’s counting on Valentin.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Garcelle’s party is still going on, and Erika wants to know where her drink is, while Kyle horns in on… whatever is going on with Sutton and Diana. Kyle tells Sutton that she can’t say Diana is soulless; she just lost a baby. Like one of those things must cancel out the other. Sutton says she’s sorry Diana lost her baby. She understands because she’s lost two. Kyle says, she’s never heard that before, and Sutton says she had two miscarriages. It’s a personal thing. Kyle says, she loves Sutton, but that feels like bullsh*t. Sutton says, Kyle is being strange (as compared to what?), and Kyle says, Sutton’s not being honest. She lost two babies out of the blue? Sutton says she was trying to reach Diana on a human level. Does Kyle want her to have compassion or not? Diana says, Sutton called her soulless, and Sutton says she was reaching out to say she was sorry, and Diana blew her off. Diana says, I see you, like she’s some kind of wicked witch, and Sutton says she’s being real. Kyle literally grabs Sutton, and comes short of shaking her. My mouth literally falls open. Kyle tells Sutton not to talk to Diana like that, and Diana laughs. This is apparently a thing with Diana. She laughs to show her superiority, but IMO, it’s creepy. In Diana’s interview, she tells us, like the Americans say, Sutton has hit a new low. I tell her, the only new low here is this entire show and it’s only five minutes in. Sutton says, Kyle is saying she didn’t know about her miscarriages, and Kyle says – wait for it – Diana lost a baby. Sutton didn’t. Maybe years ago. We don’t know. WTF??? In Sutton’s interview, she says, Kyle is insinuating she’s lying. It’s breaking her heart, and disappointing her about the friendship. Sutton says, Diana was looking at her like she was the devil, and Diana says, is she? Sutton says she’s so sorry, and Diana says, it’s all good. It takes time to know people. In Diana’s interview, she says, with her understanding of human nature, she feel something is off with Sutton. Until she figures out what it is, it’s best not to poke her. She does that weird laughing thing, and says, it’s all good. Sutton hugs her, but she just makes a snoring noise and doesn’t hug back. In her interview, Diana says, a fake hug. Bleh. Kyle says she can’t with these two, and leaves. I can tell Diana, who has less understanding of human nature than she thinks, what’s off with Sutton. One, her father committed suicide, and this has affected her a lot more than she lets on, because two, she’s a Southern belle, and approaches things differently. The same way say, someone from another country like Bosnia might look at things differently. And three, probably the most important, these idiot women are making her a nervous wreck.

Kyle goes back to where the others are sitting, and says, Sutton and Diana are fighting. Garcelle asks if Sutton is crying, and Kyle says, always. Diana and Sutton both try to escape in different directions, but Crystal intercepts Diana, who insists she’s great, and jets. Sutton tells assistant Joshua, get the f***ing car. Erika calls Garcelle’s son Oliver over, and says he’s hot. Garcelle says, they’re going to eat him up, and Erika throws her leg in the air. Dorit says, Erika is trying to hit on Garcelle’s son, and Erika asks if he’s married. Dorit says, he has four children, and Erika suggests he have his baby momma contact her in her DMs. They can have a threesome. Alrighty then. She tells him, be a man, and sit down. He comes over to them, and she says she just wanted to bullsh*t with him. Garcelle says, let’s go, rounding up her crew, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says she gets it. Erika is letting her hair down and having a good time, but it doesn’t feel like it. It’s more like time to reassess her life. It doesn’t feel okay. Everyone is picking up the flowers, like they sometimes do at a reception, and Garcelle tells her son Jax to get them. He comes over to the table, and Erika tells him, get the f*** out of here. In Dorit’s interview, she says she knows Erika drunk and joking around, but Garcelle’s son is 14. Jax tells Garcelle that he just got violated (would Crystal agree?), and tells Garcelle what Erika said to him. Garcelle is like, she said what? but he says he’s okay. She tells him, hold on, and goes back to the table. She says Erika hurt her son’s feelings, and it’s not okay to talk to him like that. In her interview, Garcelle wonders how many of her family members Erika is going to go after tonight; first Oliver, now Jax. She’s done. She tells Jax, that’s not okay, and he says, it’s fine, but she says, it’s not fine.

Garcelle has two more shows of The Real left, and meets with her hair stylist Robear. He says, her birthday party was lit. Kyle was mopping the floor. We see a clip of Kyle doing the splits, and Garcelle says, it was so much fun. On the way home, Olivier said his brothers had aged years in one night. One corner was the good corner; then there was the Erika Jayne corner. Erika’s got to figure out her meds and cocktails. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, on the way home, she explained that Erika was drunk, and not paying attention to what she was saying. She’d like for Erika to apologize. She was wasted in Mexico, and wasted at Garcelle’s party, and Garcelle is sick of her. Robear says he loved seeing Erika lit, and Garcelle says, maybe he did…  

Crystal brings Dorit to a session with her self-defense trainer Rashad. In Crystal’s interview, she says she’s never been in a situation like Dorit, and Dorit is holding it together incredibly well, but trouble always catches up. She introduces Dorit to Rashad, and Dorit says, she’s a big believer in having the tools to defend herself. Rashad says he’s going to go through some simple self-defense moves, and they do some stretching first. Dorit tells Crystal that PK is leaving for London, and he was in London when the home invasion happened. Crystal says, it must be triggering, and Dorit says she has to get used to it. It’s still very raw, but for her kids, it’s a normal day. In her interview, Dorit says she doesn’t know if it makes any sense, but she can feel the trauma in her blood. Fear, anxiety, rage, hurt, and sadness. Rashad tells them to go for the eyes, and use their nails, but in her interview, Dorit says, even though she’s visualizing her attackers, she doesn’t think she’d hurt anyone. Rashad says, her inner strength is there.

Kyle and Sutton meet for dinner. I can tell you something else about Sutton; she’s more forgiving than I am. I’d be telling Kyle… take a hike. Sutton says her house is driving her insane. She hasn’t passed inspection yet. She will, but she’s waiting on a stove hood. Kyle says she wants to talk about the party, and Sutton says, Kyle came in halfway through a strange conversation she was having with Diana. Kyle asks how it was going, and Sutton says, not well, but it was just the two of them, and she wasn’t at the part she wanted to discuss with Diana. Kyle swooped in and was harsh with her. Kyle says, Sutton was talking about her miscarriages, and Sutton says, Kyle didn’t understand what they were talking about. She’d apologized first. Kyle says, she doesn’t think Sutton made it up, and Sutton says, and don’t push her. Kyle says, it was a knee-jerk reaction. She was just coming off some odd behavior on Sutton’s part, and she’d thought it was convenient timing. Sutton says, she was relating to Diana on a visceral level, and Kyle says she apologizes. Sutton tries to interject, but Kyle says she’s sorry she was insensitive; she’s apologizing. Sutton says, that means a lot to her. She’s a loyal friend. Kyle says, she doesn’t know, she’s seen moments, and Sutton says she told Diana that she was right. Kyle says, it’s hard to apologize to Sutton, since she doesn’t shut up, and Sutton tells Kyle to give her some love, hugging her. WTF? over and over.

The day before Thanksgiving. Kyle tells Mauricio that she needs to buy another small turkey, since Alex and his mom are coming. Their family is expanding. In Kyle’s interview, she says, Farrah and Alex had been dating a few years, and it was definitely time they got engaged. What are they waiting for? Kyle tells Mauricio that she’s going to make the top floor a playroom for the baby, but the baby will sleep with them. In her interview, she says, they were fortunate to have their grandmother living with them. She helped with transport when she and Kim had to be on film sets, and she grew up close with her grandmother. She’s not going to live with her grandchildren, but she wants a close relationship. She’s really going to be annoying. Is she kidding? She’s already annoying

We see some quick clips of everyone’s Thanksgiving. Garcelle and sons are dishing out Thanksgiving dinner at the Los Angeles Mission. Dorit’s father joins them for dinner, and Crystal also celebrates at home with her family. At Kyle’s, there’s also an anniversary for Kathy and Rick, and unaccountable Teddi is there.

LisaR visits Diana. It’s no surprise they’re friends since they’re both fake as hell. LisaR asks about Thanksgiving, and Diana says, it was Eli’s birthday. We see clips of that, and I have to admit, as much as I’m disliking Diana, that baby is very cute. She tells LisaR, when the party was over, she wanted everyone back, and in her interview, she says, Eli is a party animal. She loves ABBA, Dancing Queen in particular. Diana asks if LisaR hears the hummingbird; you hear them before seeing them. LisaR says, that’s Lois. She’s been invoking Lois a lot, even as an excuse to be nauseating (see below). She tells Diana that the holidays are hard. You don’t think about that when a death happens. Every day is different, and she’s processing differently every moment. She was in NYC for Harry’s show, but she only did it for him. She asks how Garcelle’s party was, and Diana laughs. She says, the party itself was good fun, but then Sutton caught her, and did her Sutton thing. She makes faces, and made one when she asked if Diana wasn’t on bedrest. In LisaR’s interview, she says, she knows that look. We flash back to Sutton saying she’d never something or other, and giving LisaR a pointed look. Diana says, Sutton called her soulless and a mother***er. If a foreigner literally translated that, it would seem stupid. Kyle was trying to tell Sutton that Diana had lost her baby, and Sutton said she’d had two miscarriages. It wasn’t like she was saying she understands, but like they were at a gambling table, and Sutton was raising her two miscarriages. LisaR says, narcissistic, and Diana says, Sutton is a grade up from that. In her interview, Diana says, how can someone behave like that and not understand they’re hurting others? It’s not empathetic. She tells LisaR that Sutton brings her down to her level. The next trip, they can go commercial. See? This is like a little I-have-lotsa-money dig, as well as obviously not knowing Sutton has enough money to get a PJ.

PK and Dorit go to Kyle and Mauricio’s for dinner. Kyle and Dorit discuss house décor, and Dorit says she wants to move, but Kyle says she doesn’t want Dorit to move, since they live close by. She was almost ready to move after the burglary, even though it wasn’t as bad as what happened to Dorit. We flash back to Kyle talking about it at the Reunion, and she tells Dorit, that she feels comfortable and happy now, and Dorit will too, in time. Dorit says, Kyle is the biggest reason she wants to stay, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she’s sure she’ll feel better eventually, but as for still feeling like she wants to move, she doesn’t know. Kyle tells them about Erika telling Jax to f*** off, and Mauricio thinks it’s great. He likes seeing Erika more relaxed. Dorit says, she agrees 100%. She gives Erika a major pass, but then again, it wasn’t her child. What’s wrong with these people??? Dorit says she doesn’t remember a time she saw Erika that loose. In Kyle’s interview, she says, the first few years, she wished Erika would loosen up. We flash back to a million years ago, when Kyle was questioning whether or not Erika was having fun. She says, clearly, Erika has been holding a lot in. Seeing this side, even if it’s not her best side, at least it’s genuine. PK says, Erika is entitled to a blow up.  

Sutton gets ready for her party, and in her interview, she says she thought it would be fun to have everyone over to see her new house, even though it’s not anywhere near done. It’s been two years and a lot of money, and she’s proud of what she’s doing. Garcelle’s friend Sheree (not that one) meet before the party at Garcelle’s house, and Garcelle asks if Sheree is ready for a luncheon with the ladies. Sheree says, as much as she can be, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says she’s known Sheree for so long, it’s easy. They have a great time, and there’s no judgement, although Sheree will call you out if she needs to. She tells Sheree that Erika was crushing on Oliver, and talking threesomes, She asked Jax to pick up some flowers, and Erika told him to f*** off. She told Erika that she can’t talk to her son like that, but she wants to discuss it when Erika is sober and can hear her. It’s happening today. Sheree asks how old Jax is, and Garcelle says, he just turned 14. Sheree is like, oh no, and in her interview, Garcelle says, Erika was drunk, but it’s not an excuse. She doesn’t know if Erika is used to talking to people like that, but Erika’s not talking to her kid like that.

Sutton says, her yard is a mucky mess, and in her interview, she says, contrary to popular belief, it does rain in southern California. She’s trying embrace that not everything has to be perfect, but why does it have to rain on her party? Joshua says, someone’s here, and she says, let the fun begin. LisaR says she’s always the first one, and tells Sutton that her house has great energy. She loves the vibe. The others trickle in, and we get a semi-tour of Sutton’s house, which has Christmas decorations up, and of course everything is beautiful. Property manager Avi plays waiter, and Garcelle postpones having alcohol, saying, she wants to be clear before she talks to Erika. In Erika’s interview, she says she’s not worried about Sutton’s house; she’s worried about the Haitian mom she offended. We see a clip of Erika and Crystal on a hike, and Erika telling Crystal that she was sh*t talking, and treating the teenagers like adults, but Jax is 16, and no baby. Crystal says, he’s 14, and Erika says, that’s a new perspective. Back at Sutton’s party, Sutton is explaining her house was built in 1930. Erika arrives, and everyone is loving her leopard coat. I don’t think it’s real leopard, but who knows? Erika says, they’ll have to fight her for it. Erika says she’s only having one drink; one and done. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, they’ve all had many a drink. How you behave is really who you are. Erika sidles up, and Garcelle asks if they’re waiting for Kyle; Diana is sick and not coming. Sutton gives them the kitchen tour, where they have caviar and oysters, and I’m jealous. Kyle arrives last, and they head outside for lunch, Sutton apologizing for the muck. LisaR makes a huge fuss about her ridiculously expensive shoes, and Kyle tells Joshua, it’s like a swamp. In LisaR’s interview, she says, it’s a symbol for Sutton. A beautiful table that gorgeously set, sitting in the muck; that’s Sutton.

LisaR asks Joshua for flip-flops. They’re dealing with a swamp, and she doesn’t want to ruin her shoes. Joshua passes out heel covers and flip-flops to those who want them, but Kyle says she’ll walk on toes. In her interview, she says, she’s not about change into flip-flops with her look. She’ll deal with the mud later. LisaR calls to Joshua that she might need a coat with the flip-flops; something chic. Joshua brings out an armful of furs, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, that’s luxury. You get a fur coat, and you get a fur coat, a la Oprah. LisaR asks how Dorit has been, and Dorit says, there have been certain challenges can’t seem to overcome. She can’t drive. Garcelle asks how Dorit correlates that, and Dorit says she can’t be alone. She used to value her alone time in the car, but she’s not comfortable. In Dorit’s interview, she says, you know when you’re not in control of your own emotions, and when you’re vulnerable like that, you don’t put yourself in situations where you can hurt yourself or someone else. Dorit says she hasn’t taken her kids to the park, and won’t let them go. Sheree says, it’s a small moment in time, but worth it to take care of herself. In her interview, Dorit says, she hopes this mama bear can continue to allow her kids to live normal lives, despite what mom went through. Garcelle asks if Sutton knew Diana wasn’t coming, and Sutton says, no. LisaR says she spoke with Diana, and we see a clip of Diana telling LisaR, it’s one thing when your doctor tells you bedrest, but another when your body tells you to lie down. Garcelle says she calls that rude not to tell the hostess you’re not coming, and Kyle says she texted that she’d be late. Gold star for her. Sutton says she appreciated that. She doesn’t like passive/aggressive behavior. LisaR asks if that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, and Sutton says she doesn’t act passive/aggressively. LisaR asks if she called Diana a motherf***er and soulless.  

Yep, new low.

Next time, a $9800 pair of sneakers; Garcelle says, Erika’s drinking is becoming a lot; Sutton explains the conversation with Diana, and LisaR says, Diana didn’t get the same takeaway; and Sutton meets with Diana.  

👠 Can’t Help Herself…

Then after the apology that was nothing but an excuse, she called the naysayers hoes. Is this really how she’d like Lois to live on?

https://people.com/tv/lisa-rinna-says-grief-over-mom-lois-death-caused-online-rants/

🤸🏽‍♀️ While the Gettin’s Good…

Come by tomorrow for soap and some Charmers. Until then, stay safe, stay never saying it’s not that bad to anyone, and stay remembering that buildings and property mean nothing without the people in them.