What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Felicia looks at a video of Georgie with a gingerbread house and suggests she and Maxie show off their engineering skills to Mac, but Georgie wants to change into something with less frosting on it first. Maxie asks her to check on Bailey, but don’t wake her up, and Georgie leaves. Felicia says, Maxie seems distracted. She’s missing out on Christmas Eve with her kids. Maxie says she’s trying to get in the spirit. This year, the holidays just remind her of how fast life changes. This time last year, Deception was such a success. She was riding high even though she’d just broken up with Austin. She still can’t believe he’s gone. (I can’t believe I forgot all about her and Austin.) She doesn’t have any lingering feelings or regrets for breaking up with him, she just feels awful about how he died. Felicia says, Maxie has a lot going on, but keep the faith. She has the feeling that by this time next year, things will be looking up for Maxie. Maxie says she hopes so, when the doorbell rings.

Josslyn asks if Dex is ready to spend his first Christmas with her family, and he says he needs her to guide him through. She says, first, she needs to guide herself. She really needs this break from classes and studying and… She sees Adam outside the door and asks what he’s still doing here.

Charlotte comes out of her room to see Doc and Laura and asks when they got here. Laura says, they haven’t been here long at all, and hugs her, saying, merry Christmas. Her dad needed to step out for a moment, and she was taking a nap, so he asked them to come over. Charlotte says, it’s Christmas Eve. What could he possibly be doing?

At the MetroCourt, Valentin knocks at Anna’s door and she opens it.

Elizabeth puts on an apron and wonders how they’re going to get all this done tonight, but Aiden says, don’t worry. He’s a professional. She says she’s not. Just keep doing what he’s doing – the doorbell rings – and she’ll get the door. She opens it to Finn and Violet, and says, merry Christmas Eve. He tells her, merry Christmas Eve (is that a thing?), and she says, come in. Finn asks if Violet isn’t going to wish Aunt Elizabeth a merry Christmas Eve, and less than enthusiastically, Violet says, merry Christmas.

Maxie opens the door and Spinelli is there, shivering and wet. He says he requires her urgent assistance.

Portia says, Curtis looks deep in thought, and he says, just admiring his blessings. Look at his beautiful family – we see Trina, Stella, and Marshall gathered around the table – happy and together. And since they are, everyone gather around. He has something to tell them all. Something life changing.

Valentin says he was surprised to get Anna’s phone call. Can they make this quick? He’s missing Christmas Eve with his daughter. She says, yes, of course (🍷). How’s Charlotte? Please tell her that Charlotte’s doing well. He says, she’s got a long road ahead of her, but she’s much better. He wishes he’d told Anna the truth from the start. She says, he owed her the truth, but she owes him the same.

Laura says, Charlotte’s dad was hoping to be back before she woke up, but she’s sure he’ll be here any minute now. Charlotte says she hopes so. Papa promised they’d spend Christmas together, since last year he was… away. Laura says she, for one, is very happy to be home for Christmas. She’s very grateful to get some time with her sweet, little granddaughter. (Charlotte is neither sweet nor little, but because it’s Laura, I’ll let it pass.) Charlotte says she’s very happy they’re here, both of them, and Doc says, thank you. Now does anyone know how to make a ribbon all squiggly? Charlotte says, it’s ridiculously easy, and he says, prove it, handing her the wrapped box.

Elizabeth tells Violet that Aiden is making cookies and they’re going to sing some Christmas carols. Finn asks if she thinks she wants to do some singing, and Violet says, maybe. Can she go color now? He tells her, sure, if that’s what she wants to do, and she goes to the coffee table. Elizabeth asks, what’s going on? but he says he doesn’t know. Leo Quartermaine told her Santa isn’t real, but he already handled it. He thought maybe she was just tired, but she’s been like this all day. Elizabeth says, that doesn’t sound like her. Did anything else happen? He says he asked her, but she won’t tell him. He doesn’t know what to do at this point. She says, just lay low and give her some time, and he says, maybe they’ll get a Christmas miracle.

Josslyn says she thought Adam had an early flight this morning, but he says, not exactly. She says, then what exactly? and he says he’s not going home. She says, since when? He didn’t mention this when they were studying last night. He says, technically, he didn’t decide until this morning, and she says, so he chose to stay in the dorms alone on Christmas? Dex says, some people enjoy the peace and quiet, and Adam says, see? Josslyn says, okay, but the dining halls are closed. What is he going to eat? He says he can call for delivery service, and there’s so much ramen in his room… She says, that’s pathetic. Come on. She and Dex can give him a ride back. He says he can’t go home.

Curtis says, let him start by saying he’s so grateful to share this holiday with them all. It’s been a challenging year, and he can truthfully say he wouldn’t have made it through without the love and support of each of them. Stella says, amen. They love him too. Now spit it out. He says, lovely Portia has been researching clinical trials for people with paralysis. She found experimental treatment that might restore his ability to walk. Stella says, that’s wonderful. He did apply for participation. He says he’s already under consideration, and Trina asks when he’ll start if they select him. He says, it could be as soon as January, and Portia says, that’s exactly right. The doorbell rings – since everyone got a doorbell for Christmas – and Portia answers. Spencer says, merry Christmas.

Anna says, so they now know for certain, James Forsythe was responsible for setting fire to her house, and Valentin thanks her for the confirmation. It was a relief to know Charlotte wasn’t responsible for the arson, but it’s good to know who was and why she was targeted. Brennan? The director? She’s lucky to be alive. She says, luck and an assist from Dante. He says he should have warned her the moment he knew Charlotte was targeting her. None of this would have happened. She says, Charlotte was collateral damage in a conspiracy targeted at her, and she apologizes for that, and he says, no, he apologizes. She says she just wanted him to hear it from her, now that this whole sordid business is over, and he asks if they’re sure about that.

Spinelli thanks Maxie for the shower and the spare clothes, and Felicia says, it’s a good thing she still had that box of Max’s spare clothes they were donating to the shelter. They’ve been in the car all week. Maxie says, they came in handy. So is he going to tell her what happened? Felicia says, do tell, and he says, a pipe burst in his apartment and the super was able to shut it off before it affected other units, but not before his was rendered uninhabitable. Maxie asks, what happened to his computers? and he says he was able to salvage most of it and put it in a storage unit. Some of it is still in his trunk. Felicia says, you poor thing, and he says, that’s why he showed up here looking like a drowned rat. He didn’t mean to impose. He just needed a place to dry off. Maxie says, he was coming here for dinner anyway. This was perfect. He says, while he’d love to dine with her, he supposes he should figure out his lodging. The MetroCourt is booked, and all of the other nice places, but he supposes he could venture further out to Sawyer or Greenfield. Maxie says, he’ll do no such thing, but he says, it’s only temporary until he finds another apartment. Maxie says, absolutely not. He’s living here.

As they make cookies, Aiden asks if Elizabeth is upset that Cam decided to go skiing with his new girlfriend this Christmas, and she says she’s not going to lie. She felt a little twinge about it, since obviously she misses him, but she’s not surprised. He seems to really like this girl. Is Aiden upset? He says, it would have been nice to see him, but he gets it. She asks if he feels a little left out now that his brothers have girlfriends, and he says, actually, there’s someone he likes too.

Jake asks if Violet wants to help him make paper snowflakes, and sits on the sofa, putting the supplies on the table. He shows her what to do and says, careful with the scissors. She says she knows how to use scissors, and he asks if she visited Santa. She nods, and he asks if she thinks she’ll get everything she wants this year. She shakes her head, and he puts his arm around her. He says, she doesn’t have to talk about it, but it might help if she does. She says, her daddy is going away.

Trina hugs Spencer and says, he made it. He sets some bags under the tree and says, wow. Trina says she’ll tell him stories about the ornaments. There might be a few she’s made. He says he’d like to see them, and Curtis says, welcome. Spencer thanks him, shaking his hand, and says, nice to see everyone. Miss Henry, Mr. Ashford. Marshall says, young Mr. Cassadine, and shakes his hand. Good to see him. Maybe he and Trina could put some Christmas tunes on. Spencer says, he almost forgot. One of the light strands out front went out. Curtis thanks him, and Portia asks if he knew Spencer was coming over. He says, maybe Trina just forgot to tell them, and she says, welcoming unexpected guests is all part of Christmas, right? He says, she’s entitled to how she feels. Is she sure she wants to start this next year at odds with the young man her daughter loves? She says, right, and puts on a smile.

Marshall goes out on the terrace, and Stella asks what he’s doing out in the cold. He says, she sounds like I… He’s fine. He just needed a moment, that’s all. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s beyond okay. Last year, he was surprised to be celebrating the holidays with his son and grandson, and this year, he gets to do it again with a brand-new granddaughter. It’s overwhelming. He never thought he deserved all this, the way he walked out on them. She says, let it go. It’s in the past. He can’t keep beating himself up over it. He says he knows. He had a conversation with Irene just the other night right here. They sit, and he says, Irene told him to count his blessings and get over himself. And he’s not hitting the sauce. She says she talks to her sister all the time. They say death doesn’t end a relationship. She feels Irene’s presence around her just as close as she did when she was helping Irene raise his boys. He says he’s beyond grateful that she took on his family the way she did, and she did a wonderful job. She says, it was her honor and her pleasure, and he says, she always had his back. She bridged the gap between him and Curtis when he came back. She kept his secret. She says, and he bridged the gap between her and Curtis when she didn’t tell him that Trina might be his daughter. She appreciated that. he says, looks like they’ve been there for each other, but she says, unlikely, but true. He says, she’s a special woman, and she says, and he’s a kind and loving man. She’s sorry for all he’s endured, including losing the two women he loved, Irene and Epiphany. He deserves all the happiness he can hold. He says he’s sorry she had to give up the gentleman she was going to marry to look after Irene and his boys, and she says, of course (🍷) she would do what she could for her sister and her nephews. She loved them. She and Irene were two peas in a pod. He says, yes, but she was always the feisty pea, and they laugh. A modern version of Deck the Halls plays, and Stella gets up. She says she loves this song, and Marshall joins her. He says, give him that hand, and they dance. He swings her into his arms, and they look at each other. Aww, I like it.

Marshall steps back and says he’s sorry. He got a little carried away. She says, let’s blame it on the music. You know what? I left the stove on. She runs inside.

Adam tells Josslyn that his parents will ask a million questions about his grades and what courses he’s taking next semester. They’d get in his head. So he told them that he had an internship over winter break. This way, he’ll have more time to get his head straight, and he’ll do better in class come January. Josslyn says, so he lied to them again. This is becoming a pattern with him. He says he panicked. He just didn’t want to disappoint them with his grades. She says, his grades are excellent, but he says, his parents won’t think so. Besides, the flights are way too expensive now. So there’s no way he can go home without telling them the truth and begging them for cash. Trust him. It’s better this way. He hopes they have a good Christmas. He leaves, and Dex says, what was that about? Josslyn says she should invite him over to her mom’s house for Christmas, right? Not to stay over of course (🍷). He can stay here, but just so he’s not alone the whole time. She’ll check with her mom. She takes out her phone.

Doc puts a box under the tree and says, and that is the last of them. Charlotte says she still has unwrapped gifts in her room (I feel that pain), and Doc says, of course (🍷) she does. Charlotte says, maybe after they’re done, they could watch Christina Comes Home for Christmas, and Laura says, there’s no avoiding that one, is there? (See below.) She used to watch that movie with Charlotte’s mom. Charlotte says, that’s why they should watch it together, and Laura says, it’s a movie date then, hugging her. Doc says he guesses it’s time for him to rustle up some movie snacks, and goes to the kitchen. Charlotte says she’ll go get the gifts, and leaves. Laura sits down and looks at photos on her phone. She says, sweet little Lu. You’re daughter’s growing up and she needs you. She’ll find a way to get Charlotte through this. She just wishes they were doing it together.

Charlotte pulls a shopping bag out from under the bed and touches her side. She goes over to the mirror and pulls up her shirt where the bullet wound looks miraculously healed. She says, her first battle wound. She goes to her jewelry box and takes out a locket with the Cassadine crest on it. She puts it on, and says, anything for family, looking at herself in the mirror. Doc walks in.

Anna tells Valentin, Jameson is dead; Brennan is in custody. She believes that she’s no longer in any danger. Besides, she feels as if she did the Bureau a service by rooting out a corrupt director. He says, if she’s hoping for a fruit basket, he wouldn’t hold his breath, and she laughs. She says she’d be happy if they reinstated her pension, interest accrued, and I’m thinking, she has more of a chance of getting the fruit basket. She tells Valentin that she would be remiss in saying there aren’t still enemies out there. He and his family would do well to keep their distance. He says, it’s never stopped him before. He has plenty of enemies. She’s always stood by him. She says, they were a great team.

Outside, Portia tells Curtis, Christmas lights go out, Spencer crashes our family Christmas… bad omen or… Spencer comes out and asks if they need help, but Portia says, they’re good. Spencer says, it is cold outside, and three sets of eyes… Curtis thanks him and says, they’d appreciate that. Spencer says he really hopes they get a chance to get to know each other a little bit better in the next year, and Portia says she’s happy to hear that. As long as he makes Trina happy, they’re happy. He says he definitely intends to make her happy. She loves them both so much, and he loves her. Portia asks what he really knows about love though.

Anna and Valentin almost kiss, but Anna backs away. He asks, what’s wrong? and she says, he already knows, but he tells her that he wants to hear her say it. She says, being here with him is just so easy. Now that all the secrets are out and the dust is beginning to settle, she can feel them again. But she closes her eyes and she’s back in that doorway with the dark apartment and the gun goes off in her hand and Charlotte is crumpled on the floor. They can’t go forward, as much as she loves him, and she does love him. He says, and he loves her, but she says, his responsibility is to his daughter. She’s in so much pain. She has to process this whole trauma of the shooting. Charlotte needs him. Anna can no longer be part of his family.

Charlotte asks if Doc hasn’t heard of knocking, and he says, the door was open. She says, sorry. He just startled her. He apologizes and says he just came to find out if she’d like peppermint or regular hot chocolate. She says, peppermint would be lovely, thanks, and he asks if she wants him to carry that bag of presents for her, but she says she’s got it and thanks him. He says, that’s an interesting necklace, and she says, it’s a family heirloom. It was Helena Cassadine’s. Grandfather Victor left it to her in his will and she was thinking of wearing it, but she doesn’t think it’s giving a Christmas vibe. Doc says he’ll leave her to it, and she closes the door behind him. She leans against it and looks at the necklace. (Do you remember that at the reading of the will, because I don’t.)

Spinelli says he couldn’t impose, but Maxie says she got this house so her family could spread out. He’s family. He can take the guest room. He’ll have plenty of room for his computers. Felicia says, it sounds ideal, but Spinelli says he doesn’t know. Maxie says, it’s not forever, just until his apartment is ready, and Felicia says, he knows how everything closes down during the holidays. He says, okay, but only if he can pay Maxie rent, but Maxie says, no. He’s Georgie’s father. She can’t charge him rent. Besides, he’ll be like free, in-house childcare. He says, Georgie’s care is his blessing, not his burden. That goes for all the kids. Truly, he must insist. Her utilities are going to skyrocket. He uses a lot of electricity and water, and he requires top-speed internet. Maxie sees a shopping bag and says, look. The gifts didn’t get ruined in the flood. Felicia says, they must have been in the car already. It’s a good thing. He says, how fortuitous, taking the bag. Georgie runs in and hugs him. She says, he’s late for their Christmas Eve celebration. Are those for them? Wouldn’t it be great if he could spend the night? That way, they could open it tomorrow morning. Spinelli says he’s not sure about that, and Georgie asks Maxie to convince him.

Jake asks Violet to tell her dad what she just told him. She’s got this. She says she heard him and Uncle Chase last night. It sounded like Finn did something bad. He said Finn was going to court. That’s why people go to jail. Finn says he’s so sorry this has been bothering her all day. He’s not going to jail. She asks, then why has he been so sad? and he says, she’s too perceptive for his own good. He’s been a little sad lately because some people think he made a mistake at work and they’re doing an investigation, but he knows he didn’t do anything wrong, and they’re going to work it out. She asks why he’s going to court, and he says, just to make everything official. That’s the way hospitals do things. She says, so he’s not going away? and he says, not ever. She says, pinkie promise? holding out her finger, and he says, pinkie promise. Just her and him together forever. She tells him, that’s what Jake said, and hugs him. Finn says, Jake’s smart.

Elizabeth says, so Aiden was saying he liked someone? and Aiden says, yeah. She says she’d like to hear more if he wants to tell her, and he says, they’re in his science class. They’re really smart. They got to talking about how there’s a lot of science in baking and they asked him to do some demonstrations for the Science Club. She says, so that’s what he’s been doing after school. They sound really nice. Aiden says, his name is Tobias.

Elizabeth says, the science fair. Did he make the wind turbine? Aiden says, he’s really into the environment, and she says she remembers. She thought he should have won. Aiden says, him too, and hugs her.

Portia tells Spencer that she’s sorry. That completely came out wrong. He says, that’s a good question, and until he met Trina, he wouldn’t have known how to answer it. He realizes he’s made a lot of mistakes, and even though he and Trina are in a better place now, it’s not lost on him what he put her through, and he knows he still has a lot to prove to them. But he will. Because he loves Trina more than anyone else he’s ever loved in his entire life. She makes him want to be so much better, and that means earning their forgiveness. And he hopes eventually their respect and their trust. They don’t say anything, and he plugs in the lights, saying, let there be light. He goes inside and Curtis says, well, what about that? Didn’t what Spencer said move her at all?

Trina says he’s back and he survived, and he says, barely. Her mom is tough. Trina says, she’ll come around, but he says he’s not so sure. She says she loves him for trying, and kisses him.

Maxie tells Georgie that it’s her dad’s choice whether he stays or not, and Georgie says, come on. It’ll be fun. Spinelli says he might stay longer than one night. His apartment is waterlogged, and he has no idea how long it will take to repair it. She says, he’s moving in? and Maxie says, they’re discussing it. Georgie says, what’s to discuss? and Felicia says, her sentiments exactly. Spinelli says, they’re defining terms. To wit, whether or not he’ll be a guest or a tenant. Georgie says, all that matters is that he’ll be here. Please? She’ll be extra good and clean her room. She and James can even cook dinner… Maxie says, they can’t use the stove. Has she been using the stove? Georgie asks if it wouldn’t be nice to have dad here for a little while, and Felicia says, it would be a good deed for her daughter’s father. Maxie says, fine. She’ll agree to his ridiculous deal. Georgie says, yay! and Maxie says, you, little Miss Puppy Dog Eyes, can help me set up the guest room. They leave, and Spinelli says he thinks she bought it, doesn’t Felicia? Felicia says, yeah, and claps her hands together.

Laura asks Doc, what’s wrong? Did something happen with Charlotte? He says, no… When he was in her room, he heard her talking to herself. She’s very proud of her wound; her first battle wound, she called it. Laura says, wow. She’s not the expert here – he is – but could that be a way of her coping with her ordeal? Or maybe she feels victorious because she broke up her father and Anna? Either way, she doesn’t think they should underestimate the damage Victor has done to her. He says, that’s likely and he’ll keep examining this in their sessions. Laura says, she seemed so much like her normal self earlier, and he says, when she’s around Laura, she relaxes. She becomes more herself; she’s spontaneous. In her room just now, she was wearing a necklace that she said Victor left to her in his will. Laura says, that’s Helena’s.

Trina says, these earrings are so gorgeous, and thanks Spencer. He says, of course (🍷). So is she. He hopes she likes them. She says she loves them because they came from him, and they kiss. Portia comes in and asks, who’s ready for their tradition? and Stella asks, what tradition is this? Marshall says he’ll make some more cider, but Stella says, it’s already done. The pot’s warming now. He says, great minds, and Trina says, every year, they make an ornament for the tree. Spencer says he’ll get out of her hair and let her enjoy her family tradition, but Portia asks if he has somewhere more important to be, because he’s on glue gun duty. They gather around the table, and Trina says, merry Christmas Eve everybody. They reply, merry Christmas Eve, even though I don’t think it’s a thing.

Adam knocks at Josslyn’s door, and asks, what’s up? She says, he’s invited to her family’s house for Christmas Eve, the part of her family that’s going to be at her mom’s house. He asks if it’s cool with everybody, and she says, they’d love to have him. Right, Dex? Dex says, the more, the merrier, and Adam says he’ll grab his coat and meet them outside.

Felicia says, Maxie seemed to believe Spinelli. Showing up wet was a bold move. She thought they discussed mold, but he says he wanted to go with a strong visual. Great save with the bag of gifts, by the way. She says she can think on her feet, and he says, yes, she can. This was a really great scheme to help Maxie through her financial struggles. He thanks her for looping him in, and she says, Maxie is too stubborn and proud to accept money without feeling like it’s charity. This way, it’s a win-win. Maxie and Georgie come back, and Georgie says, his room is all ready. She’s really sorry his apartment is under water, but now that he’s staying with them, this is going to be the best Christmas ever. He hugs her and laughs.

Elizabeth says, batch number 3 and 4 in the works, and Aiden thanks her for helping him. She thanks him for trusting her enough to tell her about Tobias. She loves him. He says he loves her too.

Laura asks if Doc thinks Charlotte values the necklace because it was Helena’s, and he says, she seems to be proud of that fact. Laura says, so many people have told her so many things about Helena. Why would she ever want to emulate her? He says, off the top of his head, he would say she’s looking for role models. People she feels are powerful. Survivors. Unfortunately, Helena, Victor – in other words, the darker figures in the family – certainly qualify. She may be using them as a way to cope with her trauma. Laura says, sort of like an emotional crutch. She can’t believe it. All the years she spent worrying about Nikolas, trying to save him from the darkness he inherited from the Cassadines. She never dreamed Charlotte would have to battle the same demons. She can’t lose Charlotte too. She has to find a way to get through to Charlotte. In her bedroom, Charlotte puts on the necklace again and looks in the mirror.

Valentin asks how Anna expects him to let her go. If he’s looked forward to anything in this life, it’s because of her. He doesn’t know where he’d be today without her. She says, he accepted her, all of her. She never felt more seen than when she was with him. She’s very grateful for their time together. He says he’s loved her his whole life. He doesn’t know how he’s going to stop that. She says, then let’s not do that. Let’s just accept that. A part of her will always love him, and he says, a part of him will always love her. She says, if love were enough, they would probably be together, wouldn’t they? But… He says, it’s complicated, and she kisses his hand. She says, there. Let’s call it, okay? With as much respect and dignity as we can. He nods, and pulls her close, holding her as she cries. He says he always knew, if he could ever have her, he could never keep her. She pulls away, still holding his hands, and he says, goodbye, Anna. She says, goodbye, Valentin, and he walks out the door, glancing back one more time before he leaves. She smiles sadly at him, and when he’s gone, she sits down and sighs.

Tomorrow, Lois says she brought enough for everyone; Spinelli wants to know what someone is doing here; Sasha says, someone is completely out of line; and Sonny tells Dante, whoever is targeting him and Anna is still out there.

🎁 Coming Home Again…

You can find the whole movie on YouTube.

Christina Comes Home For Christmas on GH — Everything You Need to Know

The Real Unpleasant Housewives of Beverly Hills

Sutton meets date Sal at a restaurant, and in her interview, she says, it’s the first date where Alessandra set her up. We flash back to their meeting with Dorit, and Sutton says, a first date is a butterfly moment. He could be the one. He’s tall, handsome, and a gentleman. Sal has promise. We find out Sal is from NYC, but loves L.A. He doesn’t miss the humidity and mosquitos in the east. He sweats a lot in the humidity. He’s lived in L.A. since 1990, but his mom still lives in the house he grew up in. He’s in office supplies, and his mom is 88, so he likes to spend as much time with her as he can. He went to Vegas with his mom, and she told the concierge that they needed something to do. They suggested a show of the old school variety, and it was topless. He’s probably the only person whose mother ever told them, what happens in Vegas… As Sal goes on and on about his mother, in Sutton’s interview, she says, this is a serious red flag. There are too many mother stories for her to handle. She’s still proud of herself for staying. Prior to this, she would have had to leave for an emergency or a hangnail. Even though Sal isn’t right, she’s making progress. Sal says he’s digging her shoes.

Kyle has charcuterie for days and has invited the women over. Arriving first, Annemarie tries to pet Pomeranian Romeo and tries to nip her. She says she’d thought they were having a moment, but Romeo was like, no, we’re not. Dorit comes in and remarks on the miles of charcuterie. Kyle says, it’s Shabbot, and she has so much food. The three of them discuss Sutton’s narrow esophagus, and Annemarie insists she didn’t say anything wrong. Dorit says she doesn’t understand, and lists the oddities she finds with Sutton and food. In Annemarie’s interview, she says she hasn’t known Sutton long, but the inconsistencies are telling, and Sutton gets mad when anyone exposes her. We flash back to Sutton sarcastically asking if they should all go to have her esophagus stretched. Kyle says she’s producing a one-hour drama, and Dorinda asks what else Kyle is doing that she doesn’t know about. Did she get more tattoos? Kyle says she got one more and has six now. Dorit asks if Mauricio has seen it, and Kyle says she showed him, and he was annoyed. We flash back to Mauricio chiding his lovebean, and Kyle tells them that Morgan let her tattoo a K on her. We flash back to that, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, her husband put her name on his arm. Kyle and Morgan must have a really close friendship. Dorit says, Morgan and Kyle have been friends for a year – Kyle says, two years – but Kyle has never put a D on her body.

Garcelle meets Erika at a super cool bar that’s incorporated feathers into its décor, and in Erika’s interview, she says she and Garcelle were friendly at first. then they got on the wrong track, mostly because of her. We flash back to Garcelle telling Erika to respect her kid and Erika apologizing, and Erika says, it will be nice to have drinks. Hopefully they can rekindle something. Erika tells Garcelle, be careful. What you wish for might show up. She’s got the residency in Vegas and now she’ll have to perform. In her interview, Erika says, she’s done nothing like this before. Everything is riding on her. She tells Garcelle, it’s amazing how your life can turn around when you stay in the fight. The best thing she’s done is walk forward, no matter how small the steps may be. In her interview, she says she knows it’s a step in the right direction. Garcelle says, a friend is joining them, and Erika asks if Denise is coming. She knows Denise is coming to Taco Tuesday. We see a clip of Garcelle telling Crystal to invite Denise, and Garcelle says, she’ll see. Sutton walks in, and Erika says she knew this was a set-up. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, she’s bringing Erika and Sutton together. They’re all single women, and when they let everything go, they have a good time. It’s a social experiment. Sutton says, Erika makes her laugh, and Erika says, Sutton makes her frustrated, but it’s okay. Erika says, she almost sent an article about gossip in the South to Sutton. They don’t gossip; they put you on their prayer list. She needs to put Denise on her prayer list. Denise needs to stop and give up her four-year beef. Garcelle says, Denise wasn’t clear on her issues. She saw Denise afterwards. We flash back to their lunch with Sutton, and Garcelle says she thinks Denise is holding on to something she wants to get out. Erika says, with what happened to her in the last few years, she took a beating with public scrutiny. At some point, she had to say she’d turned the page. She didn’t want to go there with Denise. Garcelle wonders what’s going to happen on Taco Tuesday, and Erika says, they’re going to have a nice time. She’ll be ready for what walks through the door. Sutton says she’s scared because Lent is over, and they drink a lot of vodka. Erika says, it’s $7 for a naked bundle of Denise on OnlyFans, and Sutton asks if Denise is really naked. Erika says, it started as porn, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, she can do better than that. How about $10?  

Kyle FaceTimes with Annemarie who’s in Hawaii. Kyle says she’s so jealous. She’s getting ready for Taco Tuesday. Denise and Erika will be there, and she doesn’t know what’s going to happen. While she gets ready, Sutton tells her glam team about Denise on OnlyFans, buys the bundle, and gives Denise a tip. She says she hopes she doesn’t find anything real bad… oh! She doesn’t want to know. Garcelle picks up Denise, whose in-laws are visiting for year and a half. Garcelle tells Denise that Erika will want to hear her laundry list of complaints, and in Garcelle’s interview, she says, it’s only right for her to tell Denise what Erika said. They need to put this thing to bed. Kyle and Dorit ride together, and Dorit asks why she didn’t know what Kyle’s been doing. She guesses she has to put Kyle’s initial on her body for her to care. In Dorit’s interview, she says she genuinely feels hurt that Kyle has distanced herself. They used to go away a few times year, but Kyle hasn’t invited her on any trips. In Kyle’s interview, she says she hasn’t been reaching out because she felt disappointed in Dorit. We flash back to the Reunion and Dorit telling Kathy that Kyle wants her to accept responsibility, and Kyle saying, this is something that should be discussed in private. Kyle says, when they’re alone, Dorit feels bad. She’s supportive and on Kyle’s side. But when they’re all together, it’s a different tune. That doesn’t feel like a friend. Kyle tells Dorit that people don’t understand her and Morgan’s friendship, and Dorit says, Kyle is morphing into Morgan. In her interview, Dorit says, much of who Kyle has become is who Morgan is. She doesn’t just feel excluded, she feels like she’s been replaced.

Crystal gets ready for Taco Tuesday, and in her interview, she says, there’s nothing she likes more than hosting a dinner. She always has too much left over. It’s a classic Asian culture thing. If your table is empty, that means the guests go home hungry. You’re a bad host if you don’t have an abundant table full of food and lots of to-go boxes. Friend Nia and Dorit arrive first, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she’s always surprised at how many friends Crystal has. She knows it’s that number minus 14, but still… They talk about Vegas, and Nia says, her husband, comedian Bill Burr, performs there. Dorit says, when they were at Magic Mike, one of the girls had a meltdown, and Nia wonders how that’s possible in the happiest place on earth.  

Denise arrives, with Erika coming not much later. In Erika’s interview, she says she’s cold and irritable, and who’s here but Denise, the last person she wants to see. Denise tell Dorit that when she got home from the weed dinner from hell, she had a fever of 103, and in Dorit’s interview, she tells us, if you say so. We flash back the upside-down jacket, and Dorit says, a fever – she mimics drinking – nothing else. She’s buying it. Kim comes in and it’s time to eat. Dorit tells Sutton that she didn’t try to poach Avi, and we flash back, seeing that she clearly did. Dorit says, stop accusing her of doing things she’s not doing, and Sutton says, stop accusing her of putting vodka in her coffee. She doesn’t drink coffee. Case closed. Dorit says, it wasn’t an accusation, and Erika says, they had a great night with Garcelle the other night. They laughed a lot. Dorit whines that she’s hearing about a fabulous night where she wasn’t invited, and Erika says, Garcelle told on Sutton about making out with her driver.

Crickets chirp, then Garcelle says, Oh my God, and Erika realizes how loud she said it. Sutton says, accidentally maybe she did, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, sometimes you find yourself with someone handsome and charming, who says sit in the front seat. Then you lean in at the same time and accidentally kiss. She tells them, it was a make out session like in Happy Days. Dorit says, she’s taking something sexy and making it as unsexy as she can possibly make it. Kyle finds a tissue in Kim’s scarf, and in Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what Kim has stored in her scarf. Snacks? A phone charger? A small kitten? She doesn’t know what she’ll find. Dorit tells Garcelle that she’s annoyed about Crystal drumming up sh*t, and in Dorit’s interview, she says, Crystal doesn’t say much, but when she does, she’s either talking behind someone’s back or stirring the pot. We flash back to forever ago when Crystal claimed Sutton said something dark. Dorit says, at least if you stir the pot, balance it with something else. She tells Garcelle that she’s ripped about it. She’s finding a moment to discuss it with Crystal where it’s not out of left field. Sutton says, her horse is has moved in to his final apartment and tells them about Santos. She says she has a language with him, and Kim says she talks to animals too; she understands them. Nia asks, what happened in Vegas at Magic Mike? and Sutton says she didn’t like the legs spread with the man’s head in between. Denise asks, who was spreading their legs? and Sutton says, Erika and Crystal. She doesn’t know why she has to explain herself. Some people don’t like mustard, but you don’t ask them why 80 times. She wasn’t in a good headspace and ruined the whole night. Thanks for asking. She appreciates it. Garcelle asks how Nia knew about it, and we flash back to five seconds ago when Dorit told her. Nia tells Garcelle that she playfully said, how can you have a meltdown in the happiest place on earth? and Sutton says, it’s not Disneyland. In Sutton’s interview, she says, who is Nia and why is this story relevant to their Mexican fiesta? Dorit says, Sutton had dollar bills she was flashing around and laughing, and Sutton says, it was a joke. Everyone knows it’s the last thing that would really happen. Dorit says, Sutton made out with her driver, and everyone’s like, what? Garcelle says, hold on. That was between her, Erika, and Sutton. Dorit is saying it to embarrass Sutton and that’s not okay. Dorit says, they were laughing, and Sutton says, her driver has become a friend. Dorit says she’s not judging, and Sutton says, she was attracted, and they were having a conversation. They had a little make out session and it was sweet. She enjoyed it, but they haven’t made out since. Why is Dorit bringing it up? Dorit babbles, and Sutton says, answer the questions. She goes into name ‘em mode, and keeps saying, answer the question, which pisses Dorit off royally. A few of the women are in the kitchen listening, and Kyle says, it feels like déjà vu. Dorit says she’s trying to answer. She just found out five minutes ago. Why do they think she mentioned it? It was in jest; they were all laughing about it. Garcelle says, it felt like Dorit was saying it to embarrass Sutton, and Sutton says, she was. Dorit says, Sutton should give people the benefit of the doubt, and Garcelle asks who people are. Dorit says, her, in this instance, and in her interview, she wonders why it’s okay for Erika to scream it. It’s just another reason for Garcelle to take issue with her. If Garcelle doesn’t like her, stop pretending she does. Garcelle apologizes to Sutton and say she didn’t know Dorit would bring it up. Dorit says, Garcelle just attacked her, and Garcelle says she didn’t. Calm down. In Garcelle’s interview, she says. Dorit lives in a bubble, and it’s triggering. They live in a world that’s aware and woke, but Dorit isn’t in that world. Garcelle says, for the record, she didn’t attack Dorit. They were having a conversation. Dorit says, it felt like an attack. Garcelle was suggesting she was deliberately trying to hurt and embarrass Sutton. Garcelle says she wasn’t suggesting it; she said it. And it wasn’t an attack. She feels like for Dorit and her privilege, she can’t.

Dorit asks what she means, and Erika says, she means that for white people, the word has a different meaning. In Erika’s interview, she says, there’s a different meaning to the word attack when a white person says it to a Black person. She doesn’t think Dorit meant to hurt Garcelle, but she did. Dorit says she’s sorry she triggered a nerve and offended Garcelle. She’d love to have a conversation about it. Garcelle says, she’s good. She’s not here to educate Dorit. Dorit says she thinks Garcelle has, and Garcelle says, that’s on her. In her interview, Dorit says she has no idea where this is coming from. All Garcelle needs to say is, a word triggers her, and she’d immediately understand, apologize, and definitely not use the word again in the future. Crystal comes back in and wants a download. Sutton says, Dorit announced she made out with her driver, and asks where Kyle has been. Kyle says, conspiring in the kitchen, and Dorit says she’s glad Crystal joined the conversation. Sutton said Crystal told her that she accused Sutton of putting vodka in her coffee. We flash back to Dorit saying that, and Crystal says she’s happy to talk about it, and Dorit says she doesn’t want to get it wrong. Denise says, apparently, she did already, and Sutton says she knows her life, what she’s accomplished, and what she’s going to accomplish. And she knows what she can’t do to accomplish it. So continue to chatter. She’s moving forward at a rapid speed. In mean girl Kyle’s interview, she parodies Sutton, saying, if I have a drinking problem, I couldn’t say accomplish so many times. Denise says she thinks it came off as judgmental, and Dorit asks if Denise cleared up the thing with Erika. Denise says, which thing? and Dorit asks if they’ve had a chat. Erika says, they haven’t, and in Erika’s interview, she says, how dare Dorit give her that hot potato? She doesn’t want to fight with Denise, but okay. Dorit asks if Denise has anything to say, and Denise asks if Dorit has anything to say, but Dorit says she doesn’t have the issue. Denise suggests she bring it down a notch then, and Dorit says she’s going to see the husband she hasn’t seen in week, and runs away from the situation of her own making, saying, she’s so ready to go home. Denise asks if Erika wants to have a conversation, but Erika says she doesn’t. Denise had a chance at the dinner party. She came in with an agenda, called Erika a bitch, and Erika apologized sincerely. What was Denise upset about? Denise says, to insinuate her daughters at 14 had a threesome is beyond inappropriate. Erika says, children who have a phone have access to everything and they know what it is. Denise’s oldest daughter is on OnlyFans, and she doesn’t know? Denise says, that’s a low blow, and Erika says, Denise came in slurring and inarticulate, and wanted to call her a bitch, then pretend it didn’t happen. Does Denise think she won’t go as low as she can? Did she think Erika wouldn’t go to OnlyFans? Has Denise met her? Denise says, Erika is a mean woman, and Erika says, Denise asked for it. Denise says she didn’t, and Erika says, then don’t come to Kyle’s house acting like a bitch over something that happened 4 years ago that no one remembers. Denise says she thinks Erika is mean, and Erika says she thinks it’s great. But tell her, who’s more profitable, her or Sami?

To be continued…

🎄 Making Merry Christmas Eve Happen…

Take a break from the madness tomorrow for some soap and debatable Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay keeping old traditions, but also starting new ones, and stay walking forward, no matter how small the steps may be.