What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly tells Dante, the only reason she was allowed to go home was because of Sonny.

Nina sees Sam, and asks if she came to the hospital to check on Michael, and Sam says she wanted to see if he or Willow needed anything. Nina says, that’s very kind of her. She was wondering if she could talk to Sam for a second. Sam says, sure. What’s up?

Josslyn goes to Dex’s apartment and when he answers the door, she hugs him. He asks, what’s wrong? and she says, they can’t find Spencer.

Somewhere in Greenland. In what looks like a waiting area, Trina tells Ace, the WSB doesn’t mess around, huh? It seems like they got this place set up in seconds. But don’t worry. They’re going to find his big brother. They have to. Valentin comes in, and she asks if there’s any word on Spencer.

Willow says, this is where Michael gets to say I told you so, but he says, him? Never. She says, he never gave up hope or stopped believing they’d get a miracle. It worked. Their miracle is on its way. He says, she’s the miracle. She fought so hard to hold on, and now they get to spend the rest of their lives together. In fact, they get to properly celebrate Paris. When this whole nightmare began, they were planning a trip to Paris. She says she couldn’t find her passport. That’s what started the search for her birth certificate in the first place. It feels like a lifetime ago. He says, so when she’s recovered from her transplant and she’s up for travel, their first stop will be Paris. She asks how his French is coming along. As she recalls, he was working pretty hard on it. He says, oui, oui, mademoiselle, and she says, so he’s in the exact same spot. He says, pretty much, and she says, you and me in the City of Lights. She can just picture it. He says, even better; they’re going to live it. They kiss.

Diane says, so she guesses they’re done, and Sonny says, she’s been more than his and Carly’s lawyer, through two divorces and one remarriage. (That’s all?) She says, and? and he asks if she doesn’t think it’s a little too late to be a stickler for rules. She says she was born a stickler. It’s the knowledge of those rules and the adherence to them that gives her the power to maneuver through the legal system. He says, she can maneuver all she wants. All he wants to know is what Carly is up against and how they get her out of it. She asks why he cares.

Dante asks why Carly is crediting Sonny with her getting released, and she says, because the SEC wanted Drew’s location, and he’s magically located on a flight manifest from San Diego to Hawaii? Dante says, he was actually in Greenland on that rescue mission, and she says, someone sent the Feds on a wild goose chase to buy more time. They both know it was Sonny.

Nina says, Sam was the officiant at the wedding, so any details Sam would feel comfortable sharing, she’d like to hear them. Sam says, Sonny didn’t tell her about the ceremony? and Nina says, you know how guys are. She asked him about the flowers and the dress, and he said they were nice. Sam laughs, and says, that’s an understatement. Willow was a vision. Her dress was understated, but very elegant. Nina says, just like her? and Sam says, just like her. And the bouquet of flowers was just beautiful. (Hmm… that kind of borders on nice.) Nina asks, what about the kids? and Sam says, Wiley was the cutest ring bearer you could ever see. Nina says, so proud, and Sam says, Avery and Donna were the most amazing flower girls. They had these flower crowns on their heads. Nina says, Donna loves a good crown (as we all do), and Sam tells her, the vows were heartfelt. Nina asks if it was sad, but Sam says, no. If anything, she’d say, it was real. She thinks it was hopeful. You’ve never seen two people more in love. She thinks Michael and Willow would say the wedding was perfect. Until of course (🍷) the SEC showed up.

Josslyn says, Trina called her from a WSB satellite phone, and Dex says, from Greenland? How was that connection? She says, about as good as you’d imagine. They only talked for a minute. She said everyone was safe, but the Haunted Star exploded and they can’t find Spencer. He asks if Spencer was on board at the time of the explosion, but she says, it’s unclear. They’re still searching for him, but she could hear it in Trina’s voice. She’s so terrified he’s dead. He says, when a buddy’s missing, they don’t say it out loud if they think they’re gone. It’s like a superstition. She says, why, because it will make it true? and he nods. She says, but what if it is? and he holds her.

Valentin tells Trina that he’s sorry, but there’s no sign of Spencer. Sit down. He’ll tell her everything he knows. They sit, and she asks how he’s feeling. He says he’s feeling better, and thanks her. Say what you will about Liesl, but she was able to outmaneuver his father, and get him the cure. She saved his life. Trina says, thank goodness; that’s amazing. Is there any update on the Haunted Star? He says, the WSB is searching the wreckage, and the nearby shoreline. Anna Devane is in London smacking around meeting with the director, the senior officials, and a number of disgruntled diplomats who want to know about Victor Cassadine’s affiliation with the Bureau. Curtis is being debriefed, and as soon as that’s finished, there’s a plane waiting to take them home. She says, no. She’s not leaving without Spencer. He’s still out there; she can feel it. An agent comes in, and tells Valentin, they’ve recovered a body from the wreckage.

Dante says, things have been strained between Carly and his father even before the divorce, right? and Carly says, things have been strained since Sonny came back from Nixon Falls. He says, let’s not relitigate who did what to who and why. The bottom line is, Carly expected Sonny to step back and let her handle her own problems? She says, something like that. Sonny doing what he did last night just showed her that Sonny might be different in many respects, but at his core, he’s still the man he’s always been.

Nina says she heard Carly had some trouble after the wedding, and Sam says, whoever decided to tip off the SEC has the most heartless timing. Nina flashes back to telling Martin that she hasn’t changed her mind. Just the opposite. She wants him to expose Drew and Carly for engaging in insider trading. Just make sure to keep her name out of it. Sam says, at least the ceremony was over, and Michael and Willow were officially husband and wife by the time the Feds showed up. Nina asks if Willow was really upset, and Sam asks, how can she not be?

Diane says, Sonny’s most recent divorce, while legally straightforward, was acrimonious to put it mildly. When Carly severed ties, she meant it. She waived her right to millions of dollars in assets. All she wanted – all she would accept – was her home and joint custody of Donna. He says, Diane just answered her own question, and she says, how so? He says he and Carly share Donna. She’s Donna’s mother. Does Diane think he’s going to allow Donna’s mother to go to prison? She says, so all this is being done for Donna? and he says, yeah. She says, then she has to hand it to him. She’s very impressed… considering the temptation. Don’t tell her that he hasn’t thought about it. If Carly goes to prison, he now has sole custody of Donna. Not only that, he can share her with Nina.

Willow asks if there’s an ETA on Drew and Liesl, and Michael says, they’re still en route, but they’ll be here some time today. In the meantime though, how about if they look at some potential accommodations in Paris? How about a five-star hotel, where all their needs are taken care of? Or they could go the whole authentic Parisian route, and rent an apartment. He starts looking on his phone, and she asks if he still has the footage on there that incriminates his father. He says, yeah, and she asks if he’s turned it over to the FBI. He says, not yet, and she says, good. She wants him to delete it.

Trina and Valentin are lead to a room with a body bag on a table. She says, that’s not him. It’s not him. It’s not him. It’s not him. The agent unzips the bag, and we see it’s Victor. Trina nearly collapses with relief, and says, it’s not Spencer. He can still be alive.

Sonny says he loves Nina, and Diane says, that much is apparent. He says he’s thrilled that Nina and his girls have a relationship, but for him to be thinking they’re going to raise Donna is a non-starter. She says, because Carly is not going to prison, and he says, that’s why she’s here. So they can strategize and figure out how they can insure that. Is she done poking around in his personal life? She says she can talk about Carly’s case in the hypothetical. How’s that? He says he’ll take it, and she says, hypothetically speaking, the SEC is putting together a strong case against Carly. He asks, how strong? and she says, it’s her belief that the SEC can prove Carly was involved in insider trading. If the case goes to trial, Carly will lose. He says, then the case can’t go to trial, can it?

Carly tells Dante that she hates that her family is divided, but she won’t pretend to be okay with Sonny’s choices. He says he gets that, and she says, specifically, the way he sided with Nina going after Michael and Willow. She knows Dante doesn’t want to talk about that, and Dante says, everything went downhill pretty much from the visitation hearing, right? She says, right, and then she didn’t tell Willow that Nina was her mother, and Sonny got all upset about that. He says, that’s understandable. Regardless of how she feels about Nina, Sonny cares about her, and if she’s hurting, he’s going to be hurt too. Carly tells him that she and Sonny are pretty far apart, but when she realized he was the one who helped her last night, she wasn’t really surprised.

Sam tells Nina that Willow is worried sick about Carly, but not only for Michael’s sake, but Willow and Carly have forged a relationship. Carly has become a friend, a mentor. Nina says, Carly has become the mother that Willow has never had.

Michael tells Willow that he’s gone through a lot of trouble, and someone in particular took a lot of risk to get this footage, and she says she understands. He says, this isn’t doctored; this isn’t a set-up. It’s proof his father was involved in illegal arms dealing, a violation of Federal laws. Why shouldn’t he be brought to justice? She says, because it will hurt a lot of people Michael loves, specifically his little sisters. He says he’s thought about that, and she says, really? What will Avery and Donna do if their father is in prison, especially if Carly’s there too? Avery will have Ava, but Donna will have no one. He says, that’s not going to happen, but she says, he doesn’t know that, and he says, he’ll move heaven and earth to make sure his mom doesn’t go down on insider trading charges. Donna is not going to be alone. If anything, if Sonny’s in prison, his sisters are going to be a lot safer. She asks if he really thinks his sisters are in danger, and he says, everybody in Sonny’s orbit is. And he knows his father does everything in his power to protect his family, and more often than not he’s successful, but even if Donna and Avery are physically safe, eventually, they’re going to find out their father – she says, who they love – is breaking the law. He’s doing things that they have to pretend they don’t see or hear. She says, they’ll become complicit in Sonny’s way of life, and he says, just like it was with him and Morgan. He doesn’t want that for his sisters. She says, those are all valid points… He says he’s sensing a but here, and she says, but if he turns Sonny in, Donna and Avery don’t only lose their father, they lose him too.

Josslyn tells Dex that she’s known Spencer for such a long time, and for most of that time, they were fighting. Dex asks, about what? and she says, everything. He was an entitled, spoiled kid who liked things his way. He says, no wonder they clashed; they were two of a kind. He’s kidding. She says she will admit she was indulged as a kid and liked things her way. She still does, but at her worst, she was maybe a seven. He says, and Spencer? and she says, off the charts. He says, but she liked him, and she says she couldn’t help it. When Spencer wasn’t… Spencer, he was fun. He kept things entertaining. Dex says he could see that, and she says she just can’t wrap her head around the fact that funny, infuriating kid she grew up with could be gone. He holds her.

Trina tells Ace that she knew it. She knew Spencer was still alive. Can she tell him something about his big brother? He can be a real pain in the a… butt, but he’s definitely worth it. She flashes back to telling Spencer that she wishes she could wake up and have these past few days just be a bad dream, and he says, the past few years for him. He’d change everything, except coming back to Port Charles, because he wouldn’t have met her. She remembers seeing him at Pier 54, and him saying, the only thing he knows for sure is that he wants her in his life. She flashes back to telling him that she doesn’t know who she is anymore, and him saying, he does. She’s the sweetest, smartest, bravest person he knows. She remembers their first kiss, and him telling her to be careful on the Haunted Star. She tells Ace, definitely.

Valentin walks around Victor’s body, and says he’s standing here wondering what he’s supposed to say. A word of regret? Some wish that things could have been different between them? He doesn’t think so. Victor always said he watched over Valentin from afar while he was young. He’s grateful. Grateful Victor stayed away. He was a full-grown man by the time he learned he was Victor’s son. He’s grateful he wasn’t raised by Victor. He’s grateful for the family name, which, as of today, is no longer Victor’s; it’s his. And he’ll make sure it’s one that future generations of Cassadines can be proud of. But mostly he’s grateful that he never has to think about Victor again, and this is the last time he says it – goodbye, father. He walks out.

Carly says she and Sonny have always come through for each other, and Dante says, even when they couldn’t stand each other. She says, it’s comforting to know that hasn’t changed; that she can count on Sonny if she needs him.

Nina says, it still boggles her mind, and Sam asks, which part? Nina says, the whole thing. This devotion to Carly, even though Carly withheld information that could have spared Willow this entire ordeal. Think about it. If Carly had told her and Willow the truth that they were mother and daughter, they could have started testing for donors when Willow was diagnosed with leukemia, and her Aunt Liesl could have been identified as a match months ago. And Willow wouldn’t be on death’s door. Sam says she understands Nina sees it that way, but Willow doesn’t. In Willow’s eyes, Carly has been nothing but kind, loving, and supportive. She accepts Willow just as she is. Nina says, and she hasn’t? and Sam says, from Willow’s perspective, no. Nina cries, and says, she’s made mistakes. She’s made a lot of mistakes, but she’s still Willow’s mother. Sam says, sometimes knowing that makes things worse.

Willow says, if Michael turns Sonny in, and he gets arrested, is he planning to hide his involvement? Michael says, no. He’s not a hypocrite. He’s going to tell Sonny and his family about his involvement. She says, that’s exactly what she thought, and exactly why he can’t do it. When Sonny gets sent to prison, Michael’s siblings are going to blame him, and hate him for it. Maybe not Dante. He understands the complexity of the situation, but Kristina… He says, Kristina adores their dad; he can do no wrong as far as she’s concerned. She says, and Avery and Donna. All they’ll understand is that daddy’s gone, and it’s Michael’s fault. At best, they’ll be conflicted and confused, and at worst, they’ll turn away from him. That can’t happen. Those little girls need him too much. The whole family does.

Sonny tells Diane, at this point, no charges have been filed; no arrests have been made, right? She says, because the Feds want to wait to move forward until they’ve had a chance to talk to Drew, and he says, so there’s still an opportunity to make this go away. He’ll put out some feelers and contact some people. She says, he has contacts with the ability to suppress a Federal case? and he says, it’s not a case yet. They’re still in the preliminary investigation stage, right? She says, so he thinks with just the right amount of pressure, the Feds will say, forget it. We’ll just make this go away? He says, it’s possible, but she says, it’s not. He asks, why? and she says, it’s way too late for that. The Feds were acting on a tip from a legitimate source, and now they have uncovered evidence to corroborate the allegations. You can’t walk that back. He says, you do if you discredit the source, and she says, of course (🍷), but they don’t know who the source is. He says, so let’s find out.

Carly tells Dante, the strings Sonny had to pull on her behalf, she doesn’t expect it from him. But if he has any information he can share, that would be great. He says he doesn’t have the SEC’s notes or know what evidence they have, so he can’t say anything with certainty. She says, if he had to guess? and he says, if he had to guess, they’re moving pretty fast, he’d say they have a case. She guesses she has to talk to Diane to see if she can beat this thing, and he says, for the record, he hopes she can too. If there’s anything he can do – legally – he’ll be happy to help. She says, thanks.

Sam says, when she found out Alexis was her mother, it wasn’t welcomed news, and Nina asks if they didn’t get along. Sam says, not at all. In fact, she resented the implication that just because they were related, she had to instantly love Alexis. Nina says, they love each other now. How did they get there? Sam says, time… shared experience… a lot of trial and error for her and Alexis to form that mother/daughter bond. Nina says, time might not be something she and Willow ever have, and Sam says she bets Carly could help Nina with that.

Willow says, she and Michael talked about this when she asked him to invite Sonny to the wedding. Does he remember what he said? He tells her that he said Avery and Donna were more important than anything going on between him and his father. She asks if that’s changed, but he says, no. It’s just the opposite. Can’t she see that he’s doing this to protect his sisters? She says she can understand the argument that they’re better off without Sonny, but he’ll never convince her that they’re better off without him. They count on him. He says he’s not going anywhere, and she says, physically maybe, but in order to lean on him, his sisters need to trust him. They need to know that he’d never do anything to hurt them. No matter how he looks at it, sending their father away will hurt them. Not only that, it will draw a line in the sand that can never be erased. It will make Donna and Avery feel that by loving Sonny, they’re betraying him. Don’t do this to them. Don’t make them choose between him and their father.

Diane says, Sonny cannot compel the SEC to reveal the source of their tip, and he says, so this person screws Carly and Drew and gets off scot-free? She says, the bigger problem is the timeline and corroborating evidence. Carly made a substantial purchase of Aurora stock right before the proposed merger with ELQ. It drove the stock price up, and had the merger gone through, she would have made a fortune. He says, but it didn’t go through, and Diane says, it doesn’t matter. Carly was in possession of privileged information thanks to her personal relationship with Drew, and that can be corroborated. And that is the textbook definition of insider trading. He says he doesn’t see how it benefits the SEC to take Carly down. She lost a lot of money on the deal, and she’s not like a hedge fund manager or a corporate CEO… but Drew is.

Josslyn says she knows Dex doesn’t exactly have fond memories of Spencer, and he says they couldn’t stand each other, but he understands there’s a side of Spencer that he didn’t get to see. She asks if they’re really talking about him in the past tense, and he says, tell him about when Spencer came back to Port Charles. She says, he was a real peach. He was cynical and bitter, almost willfully shallow. He’d put up this wall around him. Trina was able to break through it. He says, brave girl, and she says, Trina saw another version of Spencer. She gave him chance after chance; she believed in him. So much so, she followed him on to the Haunted Star, and now they’re here. She’s going to be so devastated if he’s really gone. She can’t help thinking, why does she get to be the lucky one?

Valentin tells Trina, it’s time to go, and she says, where? The agent says, Mr. Ashford has been debriefed, and he’s already on the plane, and Valentin says, they’ve been cleared to leave Port Charles. She says, they can’t just leave without Spencer, and the agent says, the odds are… Valentin says, they’ve searched the wreckage, and she tells him, then search it again. This baby is totally cracking me up. He’s watching them talk like it’s a tennis match. Baby acting! Valentin says, there are no survivors; just bodies waiting to be identified. She says, he’s wrong. Spencer’s alive. They have to keep looking for him. Valentin says, they’ll keep looking, and she says, good. Then they’ll wait. The agent leaves, and Valentin says, Trina needs to take Ace back to his mother. Her loved ones are waiting for her as well. She says she can’t leave him. He made it. She would feel it if he didn’t. Spencer’s alive. He says, there’s nothing more to do here. It’s time to go home.

Nina says, Carly would never help her, and Sam wonders if Nina has ever asked. Instead of constantly going on the defensive, and doing tit for tat over who’s more wrong, has she ever thought of stepping back and saying, I’m sorry and I need your help? It’s just her opinion. She wishes Nina good luck, and leaves.

On the phone, Dante asks if the SEC guys are still there… Any idea where they went?… All right. Thanks. Sam walks over to him, and kisses him. She asks who he was talking to, and he says, the other woman. He was helping Carly out with something. She says, that’s nice of him, and he says he’s a nice guy. Carly and his dad might be at odds, but family’s family. She says she loves him, he says he loves her too, and they kiss.

Carly and Nina come face to face in front of the elevator.

Willow says, Michael also has to consider his own children. Doesn’t he want Wiley and Amelia to grow up with Donna and Avery? He says, of course (🍷) he does, and she says, then don’t create a rift between them. She’s not asking him to forgive Sonny, or even make peace. But she grew up without a family, which makes her realize how precious theirs is. she realizes that may make her sound hypocritical given her stance on Nina… He says, the two situations are completely different, and she says, she and Nina have never had a relationship; not a good one anyway. Them being estranged doesn’t affect anyone; there’s no collateral damage. With him and Sonny, it affects everyone Michael loves, and she totally believes that keeping their family whole is more important than bringing Sonny to justice. There’s a knock at the door, and Deanna says she has good news. Drew Cain and Dr. Obrecht just landed, and they’re on their way to GH. Time to get Willow prepped for the first step of the transplant. Michael says, it’s time to save Willow’s life.

Sonny says, the Feds are after Drew; Carly’s the leverage. Diane says, that may explain why they were so willing to release her last night when they got a location on Drew. Who, let us not forget, is the CEO and major shareholder of Aurora. He’s the one who broke confidentiality. He’s the one who violated SEC rules when he told Carly about the merger in the first place. He asks if she thinks they’re going to give Carly a deal to give up Drew, and she says, if they do, does he think Carly will take it? He says, one step at a time. First things first. Let’s wait and see if that deal is on the table. She says, once again, she is representing Carly, not him, and he says, anything he does is in Carly’s best interest. She says she has to wonder. If the situation were reversed and he was the one facing Federal charges, does he think Carly would be doing all this for him? He says, no doubt.

Josslyn tells Dex that she and Trina both took chances this year; big ones. Trina fell for Spencer… He says, and? and she asks if he’s going to make her say it. He says, yes, ma’am, and she says, and she fell for him. He says, that makes him the lucky one, but she says she thinks it makes them both lucky. And once Michael turns in the evidence Dex got him against Sonny, Sonny will be arrested. Dex says, they both know that’s not going to happen overnight. He doubts Michael is thinking about anything except Willow undergoing her transplant. She says she’ll wait as long as it takes, because at the end, he’ll be free, and they can figure out what they mean to each other out in the real world. He says, out in the wild, and they laugh. She says, there’s a chance Trina and Spencer never will, and snuggles back into his arms.

Outside, Laura, Trina, and Valentin holding the baby follow the agent. They hear something, and Trina says, Spencer? Spencer walks out from behind a rock, and even though he’s limping, she launches herself into his arms, wrapping her legs and arms around him. She must be a featherweight, since she doesn’t knock him over. Everyone is thrilled, and Spencer and Trina kiss. Maybe she’s a gymnast, since he’s no longer gripping her around the waist, and it’s like she’s suspended on him.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Dante, for someone’s sake, she’s willing to make the effort; Tracy asks about the crisis no one told her about; Willow says, this could be the last time she holds Michael’s hand; and Nina begs Carly for help.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Iggy Marina, Portisco. Gary kisses Mads in the hot tub, while Alex stumbles around the crew mess trying to eat. Colin tells Alex, everybody’s gone to bed. In Colin’s interview, he says, leaving your girl in the hot tub with Gary is like waving a banana in front of a monkey and expecting him not to eat it. A rookie error.

In the morning, Lucy curses her life, and Colin asks if anyone hooked up. Chase says he’s done with the lady situation, and in Alex’s interview, he says he thinks he drank too much. He’s pretty sure he blacked out, and thinks he f***ed up his chances with Mads. It hurts. Colin asks Gary how was his first crew night out? What did he do? Mads tells Lucy that she and Gary hooked up, and Lucy asks if it was long or passionate, but in her interview, she makes a face, and says, that’s just gross. I concur. Mads says she wishes she’d made out with other people, and Gary tells Colin that they kissed, and he feels bad off today. Colin says, Gary does it again, and Chase joins them. Glenn asks how everyone is feeling, and Alex says, delightful. They start turning the boat around, and Glenn calls  Gary, Ileisha, and Daisy for the preference sheet meeting.

It’s charter three, and Glenn says, the primary is John, a serial entrepreneur. (Ugh.) He’s bringing his family and friends to celebrate the launch of his new book. His girlfriend Natalia is allergic to dairy, and doesn’t want sea food, and friend TJ wants no fried food or meat. Glenn says, it’s going to be tough, and Daisy reads that they want a steak-tastic dinner (I guess not for TJ unless it’s portabella) with a 90s theme, a formal dinner, and post dinner, they want a drink and gelato station. Gary reads that they want to go to the beach, and have some games. He tells Daisy that any time the guests are going on the tender, he wants somebody from interior on service. Daisy says, serving beer and wine is pretty basic, and they can do a lot on the boat, but Glenn says, it’s the same with the deckhands. If all the guests are off the boat, they can afford to send someone. It speaks to a higher level of service. In Glenn’s interview, he says, if he noticed things need adjustments, he’s going to challenge his team to make adjustments. We flash back to Glenn freaking out about no ice on the tender when it was in the ice bucket, and he says he wants the guests feel waited on hand and foot. Glenn tells them, let’s get cracking.

Gary asks how Mads feels, and she asks what he’s talking about. He says, oh, one of those. He had fun, and he’s not trying to start drama. In his interview, he says he’s not going to embarrass her if she doesn’t like talking in the aftermath. Chase complains about there being so much hair in the jacuzzi, and my stomach turns. Colin asks if Daisy made out, but she says she’s not hooking up; she’s staying away from everyone. What are his plans? He says, the stews are too young and the chef has a boyfriend, but he doesn’t find them attractive that way… or her. They flirt without flirting. Gary tells Alex that he hooked up with Mads, but they just kissed. If Alex is into her, he’ll back off. Alex says, no, he’s good, and in his interview, Alex says he doesn’t know why Gary is choosing to tell him this. What does Gary want him to say? Thanks for hooking up with the girl he likes?  

Mads talks to Alex about kissing Gary, and he says, they’ve all got little first officer in them; her literally. In Mads’s interview, she says she’d rather not have made out with Gary, but Alex was very drunk, and a girl needs her needs met. While chatting with some of the others on deck, Ileisha says, she used to be able bend over backwards, and apparently, she still can because she demonstrates a backbend. In her interview, she says she grew up in a small town where there was a circus. She was in love with it, and part of it from when she was nine to thirteen, but it didn’t get to the extent where she traveled all over the world. She tells the others that it was called the Spaghetti Circus, and she was great on the unicycle. Gary asks Chase to do anchor watch, giving him 12 to 7:30 am, and in Chase’s interview, he says, he needs a break from Gary’s bitching that he’s doing everything wrong. He welcomes the shift where he can fly under the radar. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Provisions come in and it’s 25 minutes to guest arrival.

As the guests board the boat, primary John takes his shirt off, and in Lucy’s interview, she says, he’s giving her high school d-bag vibes. Daisy gives the tour, and Glenn tells Gary to have a guy follow them in the tender when they pull out. John says, everything in Italy is smaller, and he felt like he was going to break things. Appetizers are served; some appealing little smoked salmon roll-ups that I very much would like to taste. Gary grumbles to Daisy that he doesn’t think the tender would be able to tow the boat, and gets all moody, mumbling that he’ll need one of the girls. In Daisy’s interview, she says, Gary thinks he’s f***ing with her after Glenn implied she wasn’t doing her job well. Gary thinks she’s sexy when she’s angry, but she’s pissed, and not feeling sexy.

The sails go up, and guest Natalia says she’s wanted to do this her entire life. Glenn radios Daisy that they’re starting to sail, and things move and slide. John’s son Jacob says, this is awesome; it’s so sick. Guest Anastasia gives Glenn John’s gold chain, saying, John insists he wear it. Jacob requests a cookies and cream milkshake, guest TJ asks for a grilled cheese, and several different drinks are ordered. In Lucy’s interview, she says, it’s too much right now, and Daisy says she thinks they’re going to ask for everything under the sun. One of the guests asks for SPF, and John asks where his espresso martini is. In Daisy’s interview, she says, nobody sees how many directions she’s being pulled in. F*** off. The sails come down, Chase farts, and anchor is dropped. John says they’d like to do water sports, and Daisy relays the message to Gary. She tells the stews that it’s a 90s theme tonight. She doesn’t know how to do the 90s, and suggests they dress up like the Spice Girls. She’s going to make Gary do it since he pissed her off. Some of the guests use the e-foils, and Gary gives Jacob a lesson. Daisy tells Lucy that she has no time for a break, but she’s going to try and take one tomorrow. Daisy tells Gary that they’re doing the Spice Girls, and he thinks it’s a good idea. She says, he and Alex will be participating, and they’re like, no, but she says, thanks. She appreciates it. Jacob and TJ collide on their boards, and Glenn asks if they’re all right. Jacob is fine, but TJ is bleeding, and Gary washes the wound, then goes to get gauze.

Gary says, TJ got quite a knock, and Glenn suggests he have a seat and relax. In Gary’s interview, he says, they have miles of ocean to play in, and Glenn makes sure TJ didn’t lose consciousness. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, every course will have two options; one for vegetarians. She loves making dairy free and vegetarian dishes because that’s what she likes to eat. When the guests have restrictions, she brings out her party tricks. Gary bandages TJ’s head, and Glenn calls the medic come take a look. He tells Daisy that the medic will be here in an hour, so maybe dinner should be later. TJ says he’s retiring from water sprots. The stews blow up gold balloon letters for the 90s theme, and hang them up. Medic Conor arrives, and tells TJ that he’s going to need stitches because the wound is still bleeding. TJ leaves for the hospital with guest Lauren, and Daisy tells Ileisha, there are two less for dinner. There will be no vegetarians. Ileisha wonders what she’s doing now. Gary tells Glenn that he thinks TJ will be okay, and Glenn says, but it’s not fun. Well, yeah. John says, Jacob knocked out a guest, and wants to invite Gary to join them for dinner. In her interview, Daisy says, is this f***Int happening right now? After a day like today, serving Gary is a sick joke.

Since Gary is busy dressing like Sporty Spice, Daisy asks the guests if tomorrow is okay. They’re good with that, and in her interview, she says, f*** if he’s having dinner on her watch. Not today. Daisy tells the servers not to put dirty plates on clean plates. Let’s not do that. Let’s use our brain. Gary tells Colin that Mads doesn’t want to talk about the other night. Maybe she’s into Alex; maybe it was just because they were the last ones left. Colin says, last man standing, and Gary says, exactly. Daisy radios for Gary and Colin to come help serve, and Gary says, when Daisy calls, Gary listens. When Gary calls, Daisy does not give a sh*t. Glenn tells the guests that there’s nothing to report yet; TJ just got to the hospital. Daisy tells them to gather on the flybridge, and in Chase’s interview, he says, Gary isn’t exactly Sporty Spice. More like Old Spice or Hairy Spice. Daisy announces to the guests, all the way from London, they’ve brought in the Spice Girls to dance for them. I have to admit, the Spice Girls are my not-so guilty pleasure – I saw them twice and I love them! They put on an amazing show, but it’s doubtful all five will ever get together again. In Lucy’s interview, she says she’s finding the guys in dresses both hot and not her jam. Gary says he used to be ripped once upon a time. Now he’s just a creepy uncle. Glenn gets a text from Conor that TJ is in the waiting room. Did they go to an NYC ER? In the morning, they still haven’t come back, and when John checks the empty cabin, he says, what the f***? He asks if Chase knows what’s up, but Chase says, he has no idea; no one filled him in. In Glenn’s interview, he says he’s worried wondering if this guy is okay. John tries to call TJ’s phone, but gets a recording saying his call can’t be completed as dialed. Chase apologizes for waking Glenn, but says, the primary is up, and TJ and Lauren still haven’t come back. In his interview, Glenn asks, what the hell happened? Why are they still in the hospital 12 hours later? In this case, no news is not good news. John says, this is a disaster, and tries TJ’s phone again, but gets the same recording.

John says, OMFG. Now he’s worried. There must be a reason they’re not back. TJ finally calls, and says he’s okay. There were a ton of people, but they’ve got to call his name at some point. Sooner rather than later, he’ll be ready to rage. Conor texts Glenn that they’re just getting in to see the doctor, and he’ll keep Glenn posted. Glenn gives John the update, and says, he’ll be back on board soon. For breakfast, there are, among a million other things, Nutella strawberry crepes, and I’m mystified how they can make stuff that’s unappetizing to me sound so good. Lauran calls John, and says, they’re done. TJ says, he got stitches with an anesthetic, and John asks Daisy if they can have food waiting when Lauren and TJ get back. Daisy says, of course, and tells Ileisha that they’d like a spread for when they get back. Daisy decides to send Lucy to the beach. God forbid the guests drop a crudité and there’s no stew to pick it up. Glenn says, the water taxi is approaching, and Gary leaves to take Alex and Lucy to the beach to set up. Glenn says he’s glad TJ is okay, and tells him that Daisy is bringing them food. He asks if they’ll be going to the beach, but Lauren wants to take a nap first, so John suggest they wait until she’s up. On the beach, Lucy wonders who invented wind, and in Daisy’s interview, she says she’s pretty sure Lucy is doing f*** all while they’re busting their asses. Lucy and Alex lie on the beach, and she asks if they should make a sandcastle or write welcome. Alex suggests they write SOS. Daisy says she’s thisclose to having a meltdown, and in her interview, she says she feels like she’s drowning. She can’t get things under control. If she pushes too many things down, she’ll crumble, and she feels so beaten down. TJ calls for Daisy, but she’s crying in the bathroom.

Next time, John complains; Lucy burns a guest’s dress with the iron; Colin tells Gary that he made a d*ck move; Glenn says, they don’t have to work harder, but have to work smarter; Chase says, all the departments are imploding, and he’s glad he’s not the boss.

Summer House

In Lindsay’s interview, she says she never thought she’d get married to anyone, but Carl is the most beautiful human being ever. He’s the sweetest soul. Sorry girls, he’s off the market now. Kyle gathers everyone together, and tells them, at this very moment, Carl is on one knee, proposing. The housemates aren’t going to the beach. They’re going to Dockers to congratulate and toast to Carl and Lindsay. He doesn’t think Lindsay knew, and Paige wonders if that’s why Carl was in the hospital. Kyle says, Carl flew in Lindsay’s dad and stepmom. It’s their first time in the Hamptons. Danielle says she’s glad she was included. Really f***ing cool. It says a lot without saying anything. Because complaining about that isn’t enough, she says, and now she’s got to show up in dungarees. Paige has to explain to some of the others, that dungarees means jeans, and Danielle says, that’s why she was pushed away. Everything she’s done for this friendship. It’s f***ed up. Beyond crazy. Mya gives Danielle a hug, and Gabby comes around the other side. Danielle says, it’s so f***ed up. Not even a text from Carl. She can’t give up more tears for those a-holes. She tells Kyle that she was cut out of the entire engagement, and Kyle suggests salvaging the friendship, but Danielle says, there’s nothing left. This is the final straw. In Danielle’s interview, she says, that’s all Lindsay thinks of their friendship. For however many summers, Lindsay has been her girl, and Danielle has been rooting her, especially when it comes to men. We flash back to Lindsay telling Danielle about Carl fingerbanging her, and I cringe. In another flashback, Lindsay she’s done with Stephen, the guy who she had the fight with about the sandwich. Danielle says, Lindsay finally found her Prince Charming, and she got no part in it, just because she gave a not over-the-moon supportive opinion about the relationship. It breaks her heart. Outside, Mya is telling Ciara about the engagement, when Danielle comes flying out crying. She tells Mya that she’s so pissed off, and Mya says, let’s talk to Ciara. Danielle says, she had no idea, and Ciara says, that’s weird to her. Mya says, everyone is in a state of shock, and in Ciara’s interview, she says, if Craig was proposing to Paige, and didn’t tell her, she’d beat him to death. She says she thinks it’s rude, and Danielle says, it reiterates they don’t give f*** about her. Inside, Andrea says he’s happy for Carl and Lindsay, but has no idea what’s going on. In Sam’s interview, she says she’s blown away be the volume of Danielle’s rection. She’s super happy, but she’ll be happy over here. Chris thinks Danielle needs to process everything, and Kyle says he’s not helping. He doesn’t know what to say. Danielle sobs, and says she doesn’t want to interact with them ever again. At the beach, Lindsay says, now she’ll be calling Carl her fiancé. Then she calls him babe. I told you they don’t know each other’s names. He says his heart is full, but racing, and in Carl’s interview, he says, he flew in Lindsay’s dad and stepmom to fly in, and her best girlfriend from DC and her husband. It’s all a surprise. The timing for his parents didn’t work out, but the focus is on Lindsay and her family and friends. Chris tells Paige that he knew, and Paige can’t believe that Carl told Chris, but not Danielle. Kyle says, let’s go, and producer Nathan – breaking the fourth wall – tells Danielle that she doesn’t have to go, but Danielle says she’ll never forgive herself if she doesn’t. She looks in the mirror and says, I can do it, about a thousand times. And for my thousandth time, I can’t believe these people are so dramatic at their age. I never once had, or know of any of my friends having, a situation like this. All this angst over someone’s engagement.

The housemates go to the restaurant, and Danielle says hello to Lindsay’s dad and stepmom. Andrea’s girlfriend Lexi  is there, and Danielle says, she was told absolutely nothing. She then tells anyone who will listen or within earshot, even though their friendship wasn’t the greatest, she only learned about the engagement an hour ago, and doesn’t think she deserves what’s going down. Some chick named Dannia tells her to snap out of it. She can’t make this about herself. Danielle insists she’s not; she’s just saying. Mya says she’s worried about Danielle, and Sam says she is too. Paige says, she shouldn’t be doing that here. Carl and Lindsay arrive, and Carl remarks how packed the parking lot is. Danielle says, this is the last straw, when Lindsay and Carl come in. Lindsay is all surprised, hugs her dad, cries, and gets on with showing off the ring. Mya tells Danielle that she’s doing a great job, and Lindsay tells everyone how she had no clue Carl was going to propose. In Paige’s interview, she says, Lindsay wore shoulder pads to the beach. She knew she was getting proposed to. She curled her hair. She’s proud of Lindsay. Be prepared, girl. Paige asks Sam when she thinks Kory is going to ask her to be exclusive, but Sam says she doesn’t know as he will. Paige says, he’s telling other people, and in Sam’s interview, she says, it’s making her nervous. They’re approaching the place where she can get hurt, and that’s when she usually pumps the brakes. She doesn’t want to f*** this up. Kyle calls Amanda, and tells her about Lindsay’s engagement. Lindsay gets on the phone, and Amanda brings the pups with her on screen. She says she’s excited and happy for them. Carl goes to the bar with Kyle, and Kyle says he’s proud of Carl. He’s excited for Carl. Carl’s been through a lot this summer, and hasn’t let it cloud his excitement and happiness. Kyle knows it’s the real deal. He might have given Danielle a heads up though. Her reaction was emotional because she assumed she should have been in the know. It hurt her that she was left completely in the dark. Carl says, given how things have gone, he wants to let Danielle and Lindsay sort out what they need to, and Kyle asks if it’s about them, or about Carl and Lindsay. A bunch of people come back to the house, and Paige calls Craig. She tells him about Danielle getting upset, and says, it got awkward. Danielle made sure everyone knew.

Sunday. Danielle shuffles into Mya’s room, and wonders why her life is such a disheveled mess right now. Carl passes out football jerseys that say Vixens and Villains, along with neon green ties for the guys. Danielle whines that she doesn’t want to make it about her, but Paige says, it’s too late. Everyone gets ready to go to the beach, and Sam says, the thought of having to run makes her want to die. At the beach, Andrea sets up cones for the parameters. Lindsay says, everything is perfect, and Carl tells her about Kyle saying he should have given Danielle a heads up; she was hurt that she wasn’t in the loop. He’d told her that he was going ring shopping, but he didn’t tell the girls anything. Lindsay tells him not to feel defensive or like he needs to justify who he told. It’s not about Danielle, and of all people, Danielle should be clear on why she’s not involved. She’s not entertaining this topic any longer. She tells him not to apologize. He owes no one anything.

They play pseudo football, and Sam tells Kory that she didn’t ask the girls to grill him. Mya said he likes her, so tell her in his own words what he’d like the plan to be. Kory says he’d like to hang out and keep seeing each other, and see what happens. She says, her too, and in Kory’s interview, he says, for some reason, he finds it hard to talk about his emotions. He freezes and sweats, and doesn’t know what to say. He’s always trying to be the cool guy, but he doesn’t want to do that with Sam. He sees this as bigger than a Hamptons summer fling.

Back home, Gabby goes to meet a date, and in her interview, she says, Matt is her first blind date, technically. She usually stalks them online first, and this is completely new territory for her. She’s a control freak, but she’s decided to throw caution to the winds, and let fate decide. They talk dogs and top ten lists, and Matt seems cool. Kyle says he missed Amanda’s doctor’s appointment, and she says she had bloodwork and an ultrasound. Her estrogen is lower than average, and reflects someone who’s postmenopausal. Low estrogen causes shifts in mood, headaches, and depression, as well as trouble concentrating and fatigue. Kyle says, that’s spot on, and she says she’s going to see an endocrinologist. She feels relief that she can start feeling like herself again. She knew something wasn’t right. In her interview, she says, since going off birth control, she’s been dealing with a lot. There’s nothing worse than knowing something’s not right. Knowing the reason and that there are things to help makes her feel validated. She tells Kyle that she asked if it would interfere with having a baby, and the doctor said she wasn’t infertile, although it might be more difficult to get pregnant. She asks how long he’s keeping the mullet, and he says he thinks it’s hitting its stride. He thinks it’s his ego now, not just his alter ego.

On the way there, Paige tells Craig that she feels like she’s the one who gets most notoriously drunk on Labor Day weekend. He says, all the couples are in a different place. Carl and Lindsay are getting married. Sam and Kory sound like… Paige says, they’re going to start dating, and he says, and they’re working toward blending their life courses to a collective course. Robert joins Danielle at the house for the weekend, and on the way there, Gabby tells Mya and Ciara about her date. She met him through a friend of friend, and they went to a steakhouse, but he’s a vegetarian. She’s keeping an open mind. They all keep talking about how it’s the last weekend, and I say, thank God. Robert says he sent a text to Carl and Lindsay. They could have just explained that they’re not as good friends, but now it seems malicious. In Danielle’s interview, she says, Robert is boiling. He knows she’s hurting, and wants to have her back… which is hot. Kyle thinks Carl’s biggest fear is pissing off Lindsay, and that had he involved Danielle, Lindsay would be pissed. Lindsay and Carl arrive, and Lindsay goes immediately to the kitchen to make a pineapple upside down cake. She just wants to enjoy the weekend and have fun. In her interview, she says she has zero interest in Danielle. All week, her friends told her in detail how Danielle complained about not being included. Danielle acted the fool, and made her engagement – the happiest moment of her life – about herself. It’s the icing on top of what she’s already done. They’re not just not best friends anymore; they’re not friends. She’s done. Carl tells Kyle that it’s been a whirlwind week. They had literally 400 texts to answer. Kyle tells him to bask in the glory, and Carl says that he didn’t go out of his way not to tell Danielle. In Carl’s interview, he says, he knew Danielle before anyone else. She’s seen him at his worst and still been cool with him. He loves her, and wants to extend an olive branch, but they’re hurt too. A separation is okay. He tells Kyle that he thinks it’s sad to have to choose Kyle says he just wanted Carl to see it from her side. When the time comes, and they’re talking, it might help in how they’re talking. Carl worries that there’s a breaking point in some friendships.

They dress up and head out to a restaurant with private cabanas outside. Robert talks to Carl, and Danielle says she wants to be available and ready in case Robert wants to go. Sam says she can physically feel the discomfort. Carl tells Robert that the engagement was exciting, but it’s been a lot, and Robert says he’s happy for them. A lot happened, and Danielle wondered why he didn’t tell her. She was the last one to know, and it’s kind of embarrassing. Carl says he sees that, but he didn’t tell the girls in the house anything. Robert says, Danielle isn’t a girl in the house. She took a glass to the chest for Lindsay, and the last time Lindsay had a breakup, Danielle was there to pick up the pieces. Them finally being happy is just as important to Danielle as it is to Lindsay, and Lindsay is throwing all that away because of an uncomfortable summer. Carl says he feels bad, but Lindsay isn’t comfortable talking to Danielle about the relationship. Robert asks if it’s about his and Danielle’s relationship, or Lindsay and Danielle? and Carl says, because of the tension, they haven’t talk much. Robert says he wants them to be happy, but now they’re just two people who got engaged who he and Danielle knew at one time. Carl says he needs to take a break, and leaves. Kyle looks stunned, and Danielle goes over to Robert. Robert says he told Carl that they want him and Lindsay to be happy, but it hurts that they can’t be happy with them. Kyle finds Carl, who says he’s done with this sh*t. He doesn’t want any cameras. Kyle says, give him a second, and Carl says, no f***ing cameras, giving the finger to it.

Congratulations to Danielle, who I once thought was the normal one in the house, but this week, gets the award for most awful.

To be continued…

🌻 Ready To Spring Into Summer…

Come back tomorrow for soap and another group of awful people from New Jersey. Until then, stay safe, stay cleaning up after yourself in the kitchen (unless you live alone, then be a slob if you want to), and stay not making someone else’s engagement party – or any other party that’s not yours – about you.