What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason comes to the interrogation room, and asks if Sam is okay. Diane says, okay is a bit of a stretch. They’ve gotten bad news. Sam is being transferred to Pentenville tonight.

Jax walks into the hospital, carrying a bouquet of flowers. He sees Carly, and she asks what he’s doing there. He says he was bringing her the flowers, but he’s surprised to see her dressed. She says she’s being discharged, and he asks about Donna. She says Donna has to hang out there for a while, but she hopes not much longer. He’s glad things are going well with the both of them, and asks if she needs a ride. She says Sonny is picking her up, but she thinks he made a stop. She thinks she knows where.

There are flowers on Morgan’s grave, and Sonny says he sees Morgan had visitors today. It should give him comfort. So many loved Morgan and remember him, but right now, all he can think about is how wrong it is that Morgan is gone.

Trina, Cameron and Josslyn carve pumpkins in Sonny’s kitchen. Trina asks, why are they doing this again? Since it’s two weeks until Halloween. Cameron says the pumpkins will be rancid by then. Josslyn says Avery is over the moon excited about Halloween, and she wants to make it fun for her. Dev walks in, and Trina tells him to grab a knife. He asks what they’re dong, and Trina says, carving jack-o-lanterns. Josslyn says, for Halloween. Dev asks if Sonny is around. He wants to borrow a car. If Sonny isn’t there, he’ll just take it, and be back before Sonny is home. He knows Sonny’s other kids would do that. Josslyn says when her brother took the car when he wasn’t supposed to, it exploded with him in it.

At the hospital, Finn remarks that Alexis has a new trainer and a new outlook. She says, Alexis 2.0. He says he was a fan of the original, but happiness looks good on her. She suggests he try it, but he says he is happy. He just has it on a low simmer until Anna gets home. She asks how that’s going, and he says he has Roxie to talk to, but it gets frustrating, since he never knows where she stands on things. Alexis tells him to admit he’s miserable, and he does. She asks what he’s going to do about it.

At the MetroCourt bar, Peter tells Obrecht, no. He doesn’t think submitting her column from abroad will add an air of sophistication. Does her leaving have anything to do with Sasha’s identity scam?

Nina sees the suitcases, and asks if Valentin is running away. He’s not even going to try to explain? Valentin says he can explain, but he won’t try to defend it.

Finn tells Alexis that his misery has to do with Hayden. Alexis thought they had no issues, but Finn says there will always be an issue. That doesn’t mean he wants a life with her. She suggests Finn is high maintenance, but if the temptation issue isn’t the thing, what is the thing? He says he knows Hayden is lying to him.

Obrecht tells Peter, his insinuation isn’t worth a response. He says, if she knew nothing, why the sudden departure? She says, like with him, the masses will assume the worst, that she did a horrible thing to her niece, and she’ll be railroaded to Pentenville. Peter says, one would think it’s where she belonged all alone. One meaning him. She says the winds might change for him as well. Or have they already?

Jax asks how Carly is feeling, and she says, good. She just wishes she could get out of there. He says, and take Donna? She says, the thought of leaving her without her… He says if she took Donna, it would be what she wants, but not necessarily what’s best for the baby. Carly says, it would be selfish to take her now, and he says he’s known her to be selfish in other aspects, but not as a mother. She says she’d like to believe that, but they know the truth. He can say it. He has no idea what he’s supposed to say, and she tells him, if she hadn’t gone back to Sonny, there’s a good chance Morgan would still be alive.

Sonny says Morgan should be out living life, with his potential and gifts, and meeting his baby sister. She’s so cute. When he thinks of the loss and injustice, he gets angry, and the angrier he gets, it poisons everything. That wouldn’t honor Morgan, so he goes on with living life. For the most part, he succeeds, but he misses Morgan. He touches the headstone, and says he misses Morgan so much every day.

Cameron tells Josslyn, Dev didn’t mean it like that, but she doesn’t care. She says her brother died three years ago today. Now is not the best time to make jokes about Sonny’s car. She runs out of the room, and Dev asks if he should go after her. Trina says, definitely not.

Jason tells Sam, don’t make waves; just go through the motions. He knows she’s tough, and tells her to know he can do it. He’ll get her out as soon as possible. A guard comes in, and says they’re waiting to process Sam’s transfer. Sam says, let’s do this, and he takes her out. Diane says Jason just promised to get her out. Tell her how he’s going to do that. it’s not going to be easy.

Nina tells Valentin, start simple, but Valentin doesn’t think that exists. She asks where he’s going, and why. Valentin says he’s taking Charlotte home to Greece. He doesn’t want her being in the same town as Nina. If he loses her all over again, it’s his fault, but he’s not putting Charlotte through that. Nina says, what about Lulu? Won’t it hurt Charlotte not seeing her? Valentin says Charlotte and Lulu have a fine relationship, but Charlotte doesn’t love Lulu the way she does Nina. So he’s taking her home to Greece. He’s sure Lulu will lawyer up, and they’ll hash it out, but it’s important that he and Charlotte be together as far away as possible. Nina says she might not agree, but she understands why. Whether she feels good, bad, or indifferent about him, she can’t argue with how much he loves Charlotte. How could he put Charlotte aside, and have her love and believe she had a new sister based on a lie? Valentin says Nina knows why, but she says she needs to hear him say it. He says it was the only way he could get her back.

Carly tells Jax, sorry. Today is the anniversary of Morgan’s death. He says he knows. He and Josslyn put flowers on Morgan’s grave. She thanks him, and he says, they’re just flowers. Carly says he was Morgan’s stepfather, and made sure Morgan had a happy childhood. There was so much love, and tons of laughter. Jax says he loved being a family. Watching her be a mother made him want a child. Carly says, enter Joss. He’s glad Josslyn is theirs and Carly is her mother. They made Josslyn. Carly says she’s glad too. He says, what happened with Morgan was the result of a lot of choices, not just hers. She knows, and he says, does she? She says she’s trying. He says she loved Morgan the best way she could, and gave him what she could. She she cries a little, and thanks him. He asks if she’s sure he can’t give her a ride, but she says there’s somewhere she has to go, and she has to do it alone.

Dev says he’s seen pictures, and people have mentioned Morgan, but he didn’t know about Josslyn’s brother. Trina says, he was kind of wild, but super nice. Cameron says, he was awesome with his sisters. Trina says, Josslyn doesn’t talk about him often, but it’s obvious she loved him. Dev says, she must miss him, and Cameron says he can’t believe he forgot what day it was. Trina says they both did.

Peter tells Obrecht, throwing his past in his face isn’t likely to keep her paycheck coming. She asks if it’s really in the past, and says, it better be, for Maxie’s sake, calling him Henrik. She says she’ll be across the world, but she’ll be watching him. He asks if that’s supposed to scare him, and she says, it should. If he even once considers letting Maxie see who he really is, she won’t just expose him. She’ll make sure he loses everything.

Valentin tells Nina, once she learned he gave Peter to Faison, she said using a child for revenge crossed the line. She made it very clear, and he felt awful. He’d regretted it the moment he did it. That’s why he entered Faison’s world, so he could watch Peter. He hated it. He’s not trying to diminish what he did, but when she left, it was like she was reliving the pain of losing her own child. He was now the focus of her personal anger. He’s a fixer. He solves problems, and it was a problem he could solve. He could see there was a seven month window between her going into a coma and going to the hospital. He pushed Madeline, and she admitted Nina had a baby girl that was given up for adoption. She asks why he didn’t tell her truth. Then they could have looked together. All of this would have been so different.

Diane tells Jason, up until now, she thought this was nonsense. A couple of Dawnies blaming Sam for the death of their idol. He says, now it’s a different story, and she says, Sam has a list of priors a mile long, some of them Federal crimes. He says, there’s no evidence, and she says, of prior intent, not really, but Shiloh was shot in the back and fell overboard. Sam’s prints are all over the flare gun, and there’s only their word that Jason was in imminent danger and Shiloh wasn’t pushed. He says, that’s not what happened, and she says she knows that, but he’s also a suspect in multiple Federal crimes. He pleaded nolo contrendere, and it’s on record. He agreed to a conviction. He says that was only to get into prison so he could protect Michael, but she asks if he thinks they care. In the eyes of the law, he’s guilty. He says, so she’s telling that the Feds are going after Sam because of him?

Carly arrives at the cemetery, and says she thought she’d find Sonny there. He says, sorry. He knows he was supposed to pick her up, but lost track of time. Carly asks if she told Morgan about his baby sister, and he says he was getting to that. He was telling Morgan how much he misses him. She says, her too.

Jax meets Hayden at the MetroCourt, and apologizes for being late. She says she was catching up on the news. Was Nina’s wedding as horrible as it sounded? He says he wouldn’t know. When he got there, the bride was fleeing the church. Hayden says, yikes. She wonders if Valentin could be thrown in jail before he can leave. He could decide to grab Charlotte and the Cassadine fortune, and disappear. Jax says, or he could be so distracted, he won’t see them coming. She likes his scenario better, and he suggests they focus on the task at hand right now. She says, it’s of the utmost urgency, and he guesses the reason is Finn.

Alexis says, Hayden talks to her dog on the phone? Finn says the dog is named Honeybun, but Alexis thinks that’s kind of saccharin sweet for Hayden. He says, then there was the whole thing with Aiden. She asks if he means Elizabeth’s son, and he says he saw Hayden with a finger painting. She told him that Aiden made it, but when he mentioned it, Aiden didn’t know what he was talking. She says he thinks Hayden is lying about a dog and a finger painting? He doesn’t know, but in some twisted way, he wants her to be lying. Maybe he’s looking for subterfuge where there isn’t any. She asks why, and he says, it’s just a feeling, but maybe Hayden has been lying to him all along, and now that she’s back, brought the truth. Alexis says she’s trying, but she’s not following him. He says, what if Hayden never miscarried? What if she had the baby?

Valentin tells Nina that she has no idea how many times he’s asked himself that question. Why didn’t he come to her with the information. All he can say is, she was so angry, and obviously Madeline was manipulating him to get to her. He needed to be certain, so he exhausted every avenue to find her child, but hit a dead end. His grand plan to win her back was a failure. Maybe he should have left it there. Nina asks what he means. What did he do?

Finn says it’s probably crazy thinking like that, but Alexis says, not necessarily. It wouldn’t be the first time a child was kept from a parent. He wonders how Hayden could do that, knowing how much he loved her. He had to learn the hard way that lying is sometimes how Hayden deals with things. Alexis says, has he thought of asking her? He wonders if he should just call and ask how come she had their have child and didn’t tell him, and Alexis says, not those words. He says he’ll sound crazy or paranoid, like he’s hanging on to something they used to have, and that’s not him. It took a long time for him to move on. Alexis knows he has, but what if he’s right? Then what?

Hayden tells Jax that Finn heard her calling their daughter honeybun, so she had to make up a story. She shows him a picture on her phone, and asks if it looks real. He can’t believe she’s using her time to doctor a photo with an image of a dog. She says, it’s not that hard, and he says, apparently lying isn’t either.

Peter says Obrecht can’t stand him. Why would she want him with Maxie? She says if she had her way, he’d stay as far from Maxie as possible, but it’s about what Maxie wants. Maxie loves him, and he makes her happy. Maxie has lost enough. That’s something  she’s learned; bad people can make good people happy, as long as they keep their façade in place. If he can do that, she has no problem. He thanks her for not interfering, and she says it’s a gift to her late son. Above all, Nathan would want Maxie’s happiness, so happiness she shall have.

Jason asks what Diane’s plan is. She says their best option is to try the facts. It was self-defense on Sam’s part, and the prosecution doesn’t have much to go on. The word of a convicted felon. Shiloh isn’t going to help their case being leader of a cult nightmare. He murdered Douglas Miller, and kidnapped Sam. Jason asks what about the recording and the nurse? She says, pure hearsay, and while they can’t prove the tape was doctored, the state can’t prove it wasn’t. She’s going not petition the judge, tell him that Sam is in jeopardy in Pentenville, and she should be remanded to the county lockup pending her trial. He asks how long it will take, and she tells him she’ll work some magic, but it’s not going to happen tonight.

Carly tells Sonny, October is a big month; Morgan was born and died. Sonny says, and Morgan loved Halloween. Carly says, he was the last of the kids to stop trick-or-treating. Sonny says, he loved the candy, but she says, he loved the experience. He says, Morgan was like that about a lot of things, and she says, he sure was. Sonny says, next year, Donna will be old enough, and Carly thinks she’d make the cutest pumpkin. She won’t be old enough to understand, but when she is, they’ll tell her all about Morgan.

Josslyn comes back to the kitchen, and says she’s sorry. Dev says he’s sorry he upset her, and she says he stormed out like a toddler in a tantrum. It was unfair. He asks if she’s okay, and she says, no. She misses her brother, and she misses Oscar, but she doesn’t want to be that person who takes out her pain on her friends. They’re awesome, and she’s lucky to have them. Is she forgiven? Trina says, there’s nothing to forgive, but they are awesome. Dev asks if Trina has always been like this. Cameron and Josslyn say, yeah.

Valentin tells Nina that he got drunk. He drank a lot, but couldn’t drink it away. He couldn’t get it out of his head. He checked the evidence, over and over again, in his head. He was prepared to tell her, and went to her once, but he didn’t go through with it. She asks him, why? and he says he could never fail her. He’d be failing them. So he turned to Curtis, who found the lawyer who facilitated Madeline’s adoption. He came back with a name – Sasha Gilmore, her daughter. Or so he thought. Here’s my thought. Did anyone ever actually look at a real DNA test for Sasha? I keep thinking/hoping that she really is Nina’s daughter.

Valentin says he didn’t realize he’d given the lawyer a perfect opening; a trail of breadcrumbs to Sasha. At the time, he thought she was the answer to his prayers. When he met her, nothing seemed wrong or off, but he never met the lawyer. He doesn’t know how he manipulated Sasha to do what she did. He believes the lawyer’s intent was malicious, but he doesn’t believe Sasha’s was. She was a good person, maybe down on her luck, following the opportunity presented to her by a bad person. He’s so sorry. Nina asks, why? He didn’t do anything wrong. He says he had a million chances to stop it, and he didn’t. He’ll never forgive himself for that. Nina’s heart is broken, but he can protect Charlotte from this. There’s nothing to undo what he’s done to her, and he’ll always regret that. All he ever wanted to do was love her. He cries, and tries to take her hand. He says, always, and picks up a suitcase. Nina says, about his part in this? She believes him.

Alexis tells Finn, it would change a lot of things. His world will be upside down. She asks what she can do to help, and he says nothing beyond what she’s doing; being a friend. She thinks he should talk to Anna. For something significant like this, she should come back to help. He says, she’s on a mission, and it’s important. She says, he’s important, and if it’s possible he’s a father, he needs to find out.

Hayden tells Jax, it’s none his business what she does. He tells her lie if she wants, but as a father, he thinks what she’s doing, hiding Finn’s child from him, is not okay. She says Finn is none the wiser, and he says she’s already robbed him of years with his child, and she’s robbing herself too. Doesn’t she miss her daughter? She says, of course (🍷), and he says those are years she won’t get back, and neither will Finn because of her choices.

Diane tells Jason to breathe. Jason says, Sam is going to prison because of him. She says, that might be the motive, but the Feds are doing this because of what Sam has done. He’s not solely responsible. When he and Sonny chose a life outside of the law, they knew it could come back to bite them. Sam made the same choice. He asks if she’s saying Sam deserves it, and she says, no, but she can only help if they understand the reality that their up against. He says there’s no one better than her, and he needs her to be the best she’s ever been – for Sam. She says she will be. Sam is walked back in, and Diane says she’ll give them privacy.

Sam says, it’s really bad, isn’t it? and Jason says, it’s pretty bad. There are still some good options, but they have to stop thinking that there’s a quick fix and it will be over soon. It could take a while. She says she can handle it. She knows he can too, but what about the kids? He holds her. I’m seriously confused. Why is no one acting like their normal pragmatic selves? And why isn’t he saying anything about Henderson being the guy that stabbed Andre? I would think that would make Henderson a lot less credible. It’s annoying the hell out of me.

Valentin says, Nina believes  him? and she says, yes. He says, good; he’s glad. He starts to leave, and she tells him, hold on. She gets it. She hates how it ended, but she was on the verge of being the happiest she’s ever been in her life. He screwed up, but he was lied to as much as she was. It’s on Sasha and the lawyer, and probably her mother. It’s their fault, not his. He asks what she’s saying, and she says, the only thing that makes finding out Sasha isn’t really her daughter worse is if she lost him and Charlotte. So she forgives him. He asks if she’s sure, and she says, don’t go to Greece. Please. She loves him too. He drops his bag, and kisses her.

Finn calls Anna. He says he knows they talked this morning, but he needs to see her in person. He hates to ask, but he needs her to come home.

Jax tells Hayden, it’s not a profit and loss column; it’s real life. She’s making decisions for two people who are in the dark. She says Finn doesn’t know what he’s missing, but Jax says, he’s a smart guy. Doesn’t she think he’ll figure it out? She says she does. That’s why they need to wrap this up before it happens.

Peter asks if Obrecht is really going to leave without talking to Maxie. She says, it will be easier this way. Her phone rings. It’s Valentin, who says, forget leaving town, and she says why would she do that. He says, Nina believes Sasha acted alone. They’re in the clear for now. She says, excellent to hear, and thanks him. Peter says, good news? and she says, only the very best.

Josslyn tells Carly, welcome home. Sonny says, they’re carving already? and Josslyn says, Avery is excited. She’ll carve a new one for Halloween. Avery loves the holiday, like Morgan did. Carly says they were talking about that, and Sonny thanks her for putting the flowers on Morgan’s grave. Josslyn says she’s been missing him a lot today. Carly says they all are. Morgan would be happy. Not just because of the holiday and his baby sister, but that they’re happy, and all still together.

Jason tells Sam, it will be okay. Danny and Scout are at the Quartermaine’s. He’ll see them, and find a way to explain. The guard says, it’s time, and she asks Jason to tell them she loves them. Make sure they know, and tell them she’s not scared. Jason repeats, it will be okay. She says she loves him, and he says he loves her too. The guard takes her, and Jason and Diane look sad.

Tomorrow, Alexis says there she is, Nina wonders why Valentin wouldn’t want to see Sasha punished, and Nelle tells Michael it’s time he knew the truth.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Tamra tells Vicki, you can’t pull a train without penises. Vicki doesn’t think Kelly is going to find it funny. Tamara thinks Kelly is over it, but can yell at her if she wants. In Tamra’s interview, she thinks if they’re going on a train, they should make fun of it. We flash back to the endless train discussion. I decide I’d rather walk on broken glass than hear all this again. Tamra says it might be too soon, but thinks they should make fun. Vicki sees all the penis party favors, and says, it’s not a bachelorette party. Tamra says they’re pulling a train. If this was a drinking game, we’d be drunk already. She tells Vicki that Gina is pissed off at Emily. She set Gina up with a guy who had a girlfriend, and Gina is ex-ing her out. Emily’s been texting, but Gina isn’t responding. In Tamra’s interview, she says, Emily is a difficult person to understand. Why set Gina up with a guy who has a girlfriend when Gina’s husband had a girlfriend?

Meghan arrives at the meeting place for Shannon’s party. Emily is there already, and introduces herself. Meghan says she doesn’t know Emily, but feels like something is wrong. Emily says she has good intuition. In Emily’s interview, she says there’s been zero communication between her and Gina. It’s going to be awkward. The others trickle in. Shannon is excited to see Meghan. In her interview, she says she misses Meghan. That girl can drink cocktails. She can’t believe Meghan is the only one dressed up. Meghan is dressed like a conductor/dominatrix, so I’m not sure what’s going on with that. Megan tells them Jim is… somewhere. I tuned out for a moment because he’s a jerk and I don’t like him. Kelly joins them. In Kelly’s interview, she says she and Meghan have had a few rough patches – we flash back to that – but she doesn’t hold grudges. Vicki and Tamra are next to get there. Tamra asks if Shannon feels older. Braunwyn arrives with Gina, and says she knows how much Shannon likes a good theme. She gives Shannon a conductor’s hat. Tamra announces they can’t pull s train without sex toys, and takes out a vodka filled penis flask. The women all hold up a sign that says hot mess express, and take a picture. The real train to San Diego is ready to roll, and they do a shot. Vicki insists she has to not go backward. In Kelly’s interview, she says, the train rumor was absurd. She has to laugh and make it a joke. She’d be lucky if eight guys liked her at once. Kelly points out the traffic, and says they should be glad they’re not in it. There’s a lot of BJ talk, and in her interview, Braunwyn says she hates it. She hasn’t given one since ‘97, unless it’s for a nice handbag. Priorities.

Kelly says she has a little dilemma. Brian was supposed to call her after surgery, and when she called him, he was at a bar. He said he’d had a bad day. Kelly thinks it’s weird that he didn’t check in. She doesn’t expect him to call every minute, but it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. She asks if she’s being weird. Vicki thinks checking in is part of a committed relationship. In her interview, Gina says, single Kelly is very different than committed Kelly. She tells him then Brian called her insecure. In her interview, she says he should be saying he’s sorry, he loves her, and knows how important it is to her, and if he thinks she’s insecure, make her feel secure. Tamra asks Gina how her train is. Shannon asks if Gina is rescheduling the date. Gina says she got stood up; it’s fine. Everyone gets quiet.

The actual conductor asks how going. In her interview, Shannon says, Del Mar is part of where fun Shannon was raised. She and a girlfriend used to down a bottle of Andre champagne and go to the parties. Vicki asks if they’re eating tonight, since everyone is already working on tomorrow’s hangover. Shannon says she wants a birthday kiss, and Vicki says Tamra will kiss her. They reach their first stop, the Poseidon restaurant, where they’re getting cocktails. Like they need more of them.

Kelly and Vicki sit next to each other, and Tamra can’t believe it. In Kelly’s interview, she tells us, Vicki has said the most atrocious things, but everything is copacetic. She’s not forgetting, but trying to forgive because she knows it’s the right thing to do. Tamra tells the waitress that they’re celebrating a birthday and need bubbles. Shannon blows a whistle. They order drinks and appetizers, and Vicki wonders what going on with Gina’s date. Gina wonders how Vicki knows about it. Kelly calls to Emily at the other end of the table, and in Emily’s interview, she says it’s obvious Gina has had conversations with other people that have to do with her. Kelly’s whole I-tell-it-like-it-is, I’m direct thing is bullsh*t. They toast, and Shannon says if she sees someone handsome that she thinks is for her or Gina, she’ll blow the whistle. She looks around, and says, no one is whistle worthy. Vicki pumps Gina for more information, and the non-date is discussed. Tired of hearing it, Emily goes to the bathroom. Meghan follows her. In the bathroom, Emily tells Meghan that she knew Gina would run her mouth. She’s been texting for two days, and there’s been no response, but Gina will tell everyone else. She doesn’t even know why Gina is mad. At the table, Gina says, you should know enough about someone before setting them up. Emily tells Meghan that Gina acts like she murdered someone. She set them up, but they never went out. Braunwyn comes in, and asks Emily to come back, but Emily doesn’t want to. Braunwyn tells Gina that Emily is upset about the situation. Shannon suggests everyone stay out of bathroom. Braunwyn thinks Gina should just talk to Emily. Gina gets up, and says, her worst nightmare. Emily tells Meghan that she tried to do something nice, but it didn’t work out. No harm, no harm foul. It’s not like Gina was emotionally invested and then found out. Gina blows in, and says Emily just met Meghan. She’d never bring a stranger into her business. Emily says Gina didn’t want to talk to her. In Gina’s interview, she says, who TF is Meghan? She and Emily just met, and Emily is going to spill her guts to Meghan in the bathroom? Emily says she called three days in a row, and Gina says she was pissed at Emily. Emily says she’s pissed. She walks out, and says she wants to get a car and go home. In the bathroom, Gina tells Meghan that she can only be a friend as much as she can. She’s allowed to be offended. Emily thinks Gina is abandoning her because she has abandonment issues. Now who’s spilling their guts? Emily sits outside.

Ugh. It’s getting to the point where the NYC and Dallas Wives are the only ones I can tolerate. Maybe it’s time to retire this franchise. Where are the Melbourne Wives when I need them? At least the country was interesting.

Gina goes outside, and tells Emily that she’s allowed to be mad. Back at the table, Kelly says she’s going to the ladies room. Shannon tells her to get them out of the bathroom. This is ridiculous. She blows her whistle. In Kelly’s interview, she says, nothing good comes out of bathroom. Ask Shannon. We flash back to the scene at The Quiet Woman. Kelly finds Emily, and says she thought they were having a meeting in the ladies room. Emily tells her, be careful. She wants to fight someone. Gina should pick up the phone and tell her if she’s mad. Don’t tell everyone else. Kelly gets Gina, and tells her to talk to Emily. Gina tells Emily she was hurt, and Emily says, then pick up the phone. Gina says she wasn’t ready. Inside, Shannon wonders what to do to get the party started. Gina asks Emily what she thought would happen if she set Gina up with someone who had a girlfriend. Emily says she’s never met a girlfriend; what’s her name? Gina says she doesn’t know, and Emily says she doesn’t either. Shannon wants to go, saying, it’s her party. Gina tells Emily, this is what Shane wanted, but Emily says Shane didn’t know the cousin that well. Gina says, why set her up then? In Emily’s interview, she says Shane didn’t grow up with his cousin, and just got to know him recently. He and Gina met at a party a while back, and hit it off, so she thought it would be fun if they all went out. Every time Emily saw the cousin, he was by himself. She tells Gina that she’d never do anything on purpose to hurt her. Gina says Emily should know her better, and Emily guesses she doesn’t know Gina. Gina says if Emily doesn’t know her, don’t set her up on a date with someone who has a girlfriend. This is bullsh*t. She’s done.

Gina tells Shannon that Emily doesn’t know her, and apparently, she’s a terrible person. Shannon says there’s always a problem with Emily, and Gina says, she’s probably sitting in front of the restaurant, screaming at people coming in. Meghan feels badly, and Gina says she feels terrible. Outside, Tamra tells Emily that she thinks Gina built up resentment against her, and Emily says Gina gets pissed over petty bullsh*t, and she doesn’t have time for it. Tamra tells her, then stand up for herself. Go back in with her head held high. In Emily’s interview, she says she doesn’t know what happened with their friendship. Maybe they weren’t meant to be friends. Gina tells Shannon, she’s sorry this happened on her birthday. Emily comes back and sits down. Braunwyn says, her daughter Rowan is having a fashion show for OC fashion week, and she’d like them to come. We flash back to Braunwyn explaining to Shannon that Rowan has OCD bad. Shannon says her daughter Adeline is modeling in it. We see a clip of Shannon encouraging her girls to have a sport, and Adeline saying, modeling is her sport. Shannon can’t wait. Braunwyn says she’d love it if any of them who are free could be there. Shannon wants to move on to a little spot in Del Mar, and says, let the train continue. Gina takes selfies in the taxi with Tamra.

At Sbicca, Shannon warns the staff that their table might be loud. Tamra yells if there are any single guys. Shannon tells the waiter they need shots. They need to get this party started. Shannon says she just wants a kiss on her birthday. In Kelly’s interview, she says, Shannon is full of sh*t. She went to Brian’s office and got the O shot. Shannon says she doesn’t have a vagina obsession like Tamra does. They take another shot, and Shannon says, fifty-five is going to rock. Kelly says, AARP, and they all laugh. They order food, and Tamra asks again if there are any single guys. In her interview, Tamra says Shannon told her specifically that she wanted to meet a guy on her birthday. They call her the expediter. Having no luck in the restaurant, Tamra goes into the kitchen, and says, Shannon is looking to get laid. She comes back to the table, and says, everybody is married. I’m guessing if they’re not, they’re still saying they are. Tamra tells Braunwyn that they’re going to make out, and licks Gina’s face. Shannon tells Vicki what happened in the kitchen. Braunwyn says, no guys are attractive anymore. Gina looks uncomfortable sitting in between Braunwyn and Tamra. In Gina’s interview, she says she feels like she just met Braunwyn, and it’s like, hi, how are you doing? I have threesomes with my husband. Braunwyn and Tamra fist bump, and Shannon blows her whistle. Gina does the same. Emily tells Gina that she loves her. She swears on her children’s lives that she’d never put Gina in a situation that would hurt or embarrass her. Gina says she believes it. Braunwyn sits on Tamra’s lap. Vicki tells them, stop it. Emily tells Gina, when Gina doesn’t talk to her, it hurts. Tamra and Shannon kiss, and Shannon says, no tongue. In Shannon’s interview, she says she’ll kiss a girl dry, but if any moisture comes in, she’s out. Kelly says if they buy her something, she’ll be sexual. Emily explains that Shane didn’t grow up with his cousin because of some falling out in the family. He only just recently started talking to him. Gina says she gets it. Braunwyn announces that she likes women’s lips, and kisses Tamra. Shannon screams. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says, Eddie is a lucky man. In Vicki’s interview, she says she doesn’t know why this is happening. She knows girls kiss girls, but they’re not lesbians, so how are they doing this, and why are they enjoying it? Are they cheating? They get a thumbs up from one of the other patrons. Braunwyn and Tamra keep kissing. Emily tells Gina that she loves her, and it breaks her heart. Gina knows that Emily would never do anything intentionally to hurt her. They hug. In Gina’s interview, she says she knows Emily cares about her and loves her. It’s a character flaw, and makes it difficult. If you have something and damage it, if it doesn’t heal correctly, it’s vulnerable. Vicki says, everyone, go back to your own chairs. In Kelly’s interview, she says she’s been around Vicki long enough to know the chick can be a two-bit hooker. Now she has a cop in her life, and she’s holier than thou? Shannon says she doesn’t want any snatch. Vicki asks if Tamra and Braunwyn are done, but Tamra says they’re just getting started. Tamra sits back down, and almost misses the chair.

The food comes, and Braunwyn tells the waiter that she and Tamra are dating. In Tamra’s interview, she says she married a younger guy for a reason. Nothing is wrong with a threesome once in a while. Tamra asks, what a-hole got fried chicken? and Shannon says Tamra’s girlfriend. Tamra says she thought of Braunwyn when she and Eddie had sex. Braunwyn says that’s her thing when she closes her eyes. She imagines another girl is there. Shannon asks what the other girl is doing, and Braunwyn says, reading Shakespeare. Tamra falls off her chair, and Kelly starts filming. Vicki tries to help Tamra up, and also ends up on the floor. Shannon tells them to get up; they’re making fools of themselves. At this point, pretty much everyone in the restaurant is noticing. Some are laughing, and some, not so much. Gina blows her whistle. Emily says, happy birthday, Shannon. In Gina’s interview, she says when she’s fifty-five, she won’t be rolling on the floor in a restaurant. Mark her words. Except it isn’t Shannon rolling around, so that makes no sense. Does she not know their names? TBH, I think Gina is a little stupid, and is actually the one with the character flaw. She’s known Emily how long, and immediately thought Emily set her up with a dude that had a girlfriend on purpose? Then like a big baby, she refuses to talk. I would never say no wonder she had relationship problems,  but I just did. Tamra and Vicki manage to get back in their chairs, and there’s applause. The birthday cake comes, and everyone sings the usual. Shannon tells the women that birthdays aren’t a good day for her, and she didn’t want to celebrate, but Tamra insisted. Now, her stomach hurts from laughing so much. She’s grateful, and appreciates them. They applaud, and in Tamra’s interview, she says she loves Shannon. They’ve had their ups and downs, and it’s nice to finally see her in a place where she’s happy. Shannon says she’s going next door where the single people are. Tamra says, lead the train. On the way over, Braunwyn says she had no idea that her laughter was annoying.

They head to Jimmy O’s next door, and immediately hit the dance floor. Kelly offers a guy $200 to pick up Shannon. In her interview, she says, aren’t they there to find Shannon a dude? One of the bouncers says, the white dress girl is fine, meaning Kelly. Vicki says Braunwyn bugs the sh*t out of her. In Vicki’s interview, she says, Braunwyn always has to be the center of attention, and it’s annoying. She’s tired of watching it. She tells Shannon that she’s going home. Braunwyn is dancing like a twelve-year-old. Kelly dirty dances with the bouncer, who throws her over his shoulder. Gina encourages a guy to introduce himself to Shannon, and he tells Shannon that his name is Marcos. He grabs her, and they’re sort of dancing. Shannon says he’s a little forward, and Tamra tells him, it’s Shannon’s birthday. He says he heard, and kisses her, but it looks like a soap opera kiss where their mouths aren’t really meeting. In Shannon’s interview, she says, wow, but I’m thinking this looks like it was set up. Braunwyn finds Tamra hot, and is all over her. In Emily’s interview, she says she feels like she’s in Amsterdam. Are animals next? Is there a donkey somewhere? In Kelly’s interview, she finds it bizarre that she’s the one with the rumors. Look at them. Emily says, time to go home, and Braunwyn says she’s so drunk.

At Kelly’s, Brian looks at a ginormous blinged-out bottle opener, and calls it the Liberace of bottle openers. He wonders if you could cut off someone’s head with it. They sit with some wine, and he asks about the party. He says she sent some video of girls rolling around on the floor. He says when she came back, she seemed pissed off. He didn’t appreciate how him not calling affected her. All did not was, not call right away after work. She says, it was six hours. He checks out, and she doesn’t like it. That’s what having a girlfriend is about. Brian says sometimes the clinic can be overwhelming, and in those moments, he needs down time. Kelly says he doesn’t have to be a jerk about it, and he says he tries not to be. It was a tough day, and he wasn’t sure she wanted to keep trying. She says, when you introduce the kids, you can’t just break up. He says he didn’t appreciate her telling him that he didn’t know how to parent after she bought his son a PlayStation 4. He would have preferred she ask him first. It’s a big gift, and he wants his son to appreciate how thoughtful it is. She hadn’t told him Jolie went to camp on a private jet. She says a lot of her friends have private jets. In her interview, she says, Brian isn’t forking over the cash. If she wants to give her daughter a camp experience in London that she feels is educational, that’s her business. She asks if he thinks Jolie is spoiled, and he says he hasn’t spent enough time with her to know. Kelly says she has one child, and has the means to give Jolie opportunities she didn’t have. Brian says Kelly has to teach her to appreciate (his favorite word) those opportunities. That’s the key. In Kelly’s interview, she says she likes spoiling Jolie, but she’s also teaching her compassion. We see a clip of Kelly and Jolie working at the soup kitchen, and Jolie saying they’re blessed to lead the lives they do. Brian says their relationship has had hiccups that weren’t comfortable. Maybe it would have been easier if they’d been friends, but they’ve worked through it. He never had somebody who wanted to hear from him so much. He appreciates (what did I say?) the love she gives him. He can’t promise it won’t happen again, but he’ll be aware, and try to call and tell her. She says she was dancing with a bouncer, and he asks if she used her best moves. She says she did, and he asks if she gave him her phone number. She says, no, and he says, good girl. She says he looks at boobs all day. Does he ever think of motorboating them? He says, no; he doesn’t.

Next time, Rowan’s fashion show, Tamra says Ryan is treading water, Dr. Deb gets disrespected, and Braunwyn has a tirade on the way home.

👂 A Halloween Earworm…

You’re welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7-uC0LDllM