What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

In the park, Kristina says she needs a breather, and sits down on a bench. She says, if anyone asks why they stopped working out, she’s blaming it squarely on the baby. As he’s running by, Dex stops and asks if she’s okay. She says, actually, that depends on him.

Drew thanks Willow for taking the time to meet with him, and she says, that was some serious corporate speak. He says he’s sorry. She’s right. He guesses he was kind of stuck in the zone. She says, try again, and he thanks her for stopping by. She says she was happy to. It gives her a chance to tell him in person that Amelia loved her first swim lesson. He was right. He says he knew it. It makes him so happy. Amelia did well; how did mom do? She says she was nervous at first, but once she saw how comfortable Amelia was, she was fine. He says, that’s awesome, and Michael walks in. He says, Willow beat him here, and she says, amazing what running a few red lights can do. She’s kidding. She even drove the speed limit. Michael says, no one drives the speed limit. What’s with this mystery meeting? Willow says she’s never been asked to sit in on Aurora business before. Should she be scared? Drew says, no, but he hopes she’ll be excited.

John asks the MetroCourt hostess if Jason Morgan is here, but she says she’s sorry. She can’t disclose the reservations. Carly comes along and asks if she can help him with something. How’s his head? He says, it’s still attached, and she asks if he needs something. He says, since he’s staying here, he thought he’d meet the new owner of the hotel. She says, he already knows Jason, and if he’s looking for the new owner, he found her.

Anna goes to see Jason at the coffee warehouse and thanks him for meeting her. He says, of course (🍷), and she says she wants to debrief him. She thinks if they’re going to figure out who’s running Pikeman and shut them down, there’s a fair amount of things he needs to know. He says, such as? and she says, personally, she thinks Valentin is involved. He says, with Pikeman? and she says, big time.

A guard leads Nikolas to the visiting area at Pentenville, and Nikolas says, there must be some kind of mistake. The only visitor he’s had is his mother, and she was just here. The guard points to a table, and Ava says, hello, Nikolas.

In some other area of Pentenville, Valentin slams a visitor book shut, and Jack says, right this way.

Drew says he just had a meeting with a non-profit who wants them to run their PR, and Michael asks, what kind of PR are they thinking? Drew says, they want Aurora to help raise awareness for their cause by featuring them in Aurora’s publications and media, but the reason Willow is here is that they’re looking for a spokesperson. He thinks the spokesperson should be her. She says, me? and he says, she seems surprised. She says, it’s because she is. She has zero experience with non-profits, and she’s never been a spokesperson for anything. Drew says, this cause in particular, she does have experience with, and Michael says, this probably should have been his first question, but what does this non-profit do? Drew says, the New Tomorrow Institute helps people find bone marrow donors. They also coordinate umbilical cord blood donation. He thinks it’s safe to say the transplant process isn’t very well understood by the general public and this organization is really trying to change that. When they said they were looking for somebody to personalize their message, he immediately thought of her, a leukemia survivor in large part due to a bone marrow donation. She’s got the power to make a huge impact here.

Carly tells John that she shouldn’t say owner. She’s a co-owner with Olivia Quartermaine. He says, just like old times, and she says, yup. He says he’s happy for her, and she says, really? That’s not exactly the vibe she’s getting from him. He sits at the bar and says he remembers how she talked about the MetroCourt. He thought she loved running the place. She says she did… she does. He says, but he thought he also remembered her saying she thought she’d never get it back, and she says, that’s also true. He asks, what happened? Jason bought it then sold her his half? She says, he gave it to her, and John says, just handed it over? Expected nothing in return? She says, Jason doesn’t operate like that. When he does or says something, he means it. John says, that explains his side, and she says, but not hers. He says, she doesn’t strike him as someone who would accept a gift like that. She seems to value her independence too much. Is he off base? She says, no. He’s spot on.

Anna says, she, Valentin, and Jack Brennan all came up in the WSB together, and Jason asks if she’s saying Valentin was an agent. She says, a desk agent. He didn’t know that? They all went through the WSB training courses at the same time. Jack Brennan finished at the top of the class, which is what she’d intended to do, but she wound up second. She thinks it was sexism at work, but who knows? Valentin was close at the top. It’s kind of like going through university together. You know people, but you don’t know them very well. Brennan was always a bit of a pragmatist. She’s almost positive that he stole the money that was used to seed Pikeman. Jason asks where Valentin fits in, and she says, if you asked him, nowhere. However, when Pikeman initially approached Sonny to handle the shipment, Valentin was the go-between. He says it’s because he did contract work for them back in the 90s and there are no other ties… He says, but she doesn’t buy it, and she says, no. He asks if she pushed him on it, and she says, push him? No. She doesn’t think he believes she’s suspicious of him anyway. The subject she probed on was Brennan. Jason says, and? and she says, it was really interesting. Valentin thinks he convinced her that she was remembering wrong, that he and Brennan weren’t tight like she believed. It was the 80s – it was a while back – but she did some thinking. She knows she’s right. She knows Brennan and Valentin were thick as thieves back then. He says, so Valentin’s hiding something, and she says she’s almost certain at times. At other times, she thinks she’s being a bit paranoid. She goes back and forth. He says, that’s not like her, and she says she has to be honest with him. When it comes to Valentin, her judgement is a bit compromised.

Jack takes Valentin to an office, and Valentin says, look at him. Trusted status. He’s really moving around the place. Jack says, let’s not go crazy, and Valentin says, he’s moving about with no guards present. He’s impressed. Jack says, it is a perk. How about him? Valentin found a reason to visit Pentenville that has nothing to do with him and doesn’t require a midnight van trip. Cheers. Valentin guesses they all have their moments, and Jack says, what they don’t have is a whole lot of time. What’s happening with Corinthos? Adjusting to life on reduced medication? Valentin says, looks that way. Sonny’s isolated from his closest friends and family. The only one he trusts is Ava Jerome.

Ava says she heard Nikolas is being transferred and she wanted to see him before that happened. How is he? He says, incarcerated, and she says, besides that. He says he’s all right. Resigned to his fate he supposes. It helps that nothing is waiting for him on the outside. And her? She says she’s doing well, and he says, that’s it? She asks if he expects more, and he says his mother told him that she was living with Sonny. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the least bit curious. What’s going on there? She says, it started as a safety precaution after the break-in at Windymere, and he says he’s never known her to be afraid of the dark. She says she does have a daughter to protect, and he says, a daughter she shares with Sonny. She said it started as a safety precaution. What is it now? She wonders why she’s discussing this with him, and he says, because he’s safe. Trapped in here with nothing to gain. She says, or trapped in here with nothing to lose, and he says, there’s always something to lose, and they both learned that the hard way. She says her relationship with Sonny has evolved, and he says, for the worse? For the better? She says, it’s the best it’s ever been.

Dex asks what Kristina needs. He can give her a ride to GH or call someone for her. She says she’s fine. The baby was just kicking up a storm. He says, good, and she says she’s actually glad she ran into him. Well, he’s running, she’s not, but he gets the point. He says he does. What’s up? She says she’s a straight shooter, so she’s just going to come out and ask him. Josslyn told her that her dad ordered him to kill Cyrus. That’s not true, is it?

Ava says, this thing between her and Sonny… Nikolas says, is toxic? And she tells him that she was going to say, hard to define. But it’s working. Recent betrayals have left Sonny feeling hurt and alone, and he needs somebody he can trust. They support each other. They rely on each other. He asks if she’s in love with Sonny Corinthos, and she says, no. Why? Is he jealous? He says, always, and she says, does she find him attractive? Yes, and she’s not saying her feelings won’t change in the future, but for now, she’s just happy to be on the same side. He says, must be nice for Avery, and she says, it is. Honestly, she’s never seen Avery so happy. She’s got both her parents. They’re all living together under the same roof and she’s loving it. She remembers always skating on such thin ice with Sonny, always being this close to a custody battle. It’s such a relief not to be constantly bracing for that. He says, makes sense, and she asks why he says it like that. Like he’s not completely sold. He says he’s sold. He gets that she likes not fighting with Sonny and that it’s healthy for Avery and blah-blah-blah, but that’s not the part she gets off on the most. She says, do tell, and he says, she likes being in the inner sanctum, in Sonny’s coveted circle of trust, the one he leans on, the one he confides in, the one he believes. She says, damn right she does.

Carly says she’s had other offers throughout the year, and John says, other people wanting to buy her back her half of the hotel. She says, yeah. Sonny, her son Michael, even Nina Reeves offered to sell it back to her in the name of peace. That’s what she said. He says he guesses she wasn’t feeling that peaceful toward Nina Reeves, and she says, no. He says, and the ex-husband he gathers, but why not accept the offer from her son? She says, because she doesn’t want to expose Michael to scrutiny from the SEC. Not that they would find anything, but she didn’t want to put him through that kind of an investigation. It was bad enough when it happened to her. She’s guessing he already knows all about this, and he says, just because he’s FBI doesn’t mean he’s familiar with every federal charge ever filed. She says, but he is familiar with that one, and he says, yeah. She says, so he knows the ending, right? She messed up and lost her hotel. She was going to do everything in her power to get it back on her terms. He says, that just brings him back to his original question. She wasn’t able to accept charity, for lack of a better term, from Sonny or Nina or Michael. How was she able to accept it from Jason? She says, because taking her hotel back wasn’t for her. It was for him.

Jack says, Sonny’s on one quarter of his bipolar medication and no one has any idea. He’s got to hand it to Valentin. His strategy is simple, effective, hard to detect. If this were a project back when they were trainees, they’d steal his idea and put it in a textbook. However, they have a bigger, more pressing problem than Sonny. Valentin says, Jason Morgan, also known as Alan Jacobs, spent years at Pikeman, therefore knows too much. Jack says he’s sure by now Valentin has gone back through his file and double-checked the screening process. How did Morgan get a job at Pikeman in the first place, who messed up, and where. Valentin says, the short answer is, no one messed up because Alan Jacobs history checks out. The supporting documents, his outstanding record of military service, everything seems legitimate. Someone went to a lot of trouble to put Jason Morgan in Pikeman, someone capable of manipulating government records. Jack says, could be a business rival. There are a couple of other security firms with that kind of check. Valentin says, so sabotage Pikeman from within and steal their clients? and Jack says, it’s plausible. Except for Morgan himself. Why would he take the job? What was his incentive? Valentin says, Jason has always had blind faith in Sonny Corinthos. It’s kind of a defining character trait. Jack asks, what would make him disappear on Sonny? and Valentin says, not money. He was born a Quartermaine. Jack says, so if Morgan wasn’t paid to infiltrate Pikeman, what if he was coerced? Valentin says, who could coerce a man like that? Who could deliver flawless credentials? Jack says, the answer has three letters, and the question is, which ones?

Drew says, Willow’s is such an important story and thank goodness it has a happy ending. He hopes she’ll consider coming on board. She says, wow. She… Michael says, Willow is a private person. She may not want to share her story with the world, even if it is for a worthy cause. Drew says he completely understands. Not that he wants to pressure her. He definitely doesn’t want her to feel uncomfortable in any way. Willow says, no. She knows that, and she’s so honored he thought of her. He says, she’s the only person he thought of, and she asks if she can get back to him. She promises she won’t take too long. He tells her, absolutely. Take as much time as she needs. She says she does value her privacy, but the fact is, her life was saved by her Great Aunt Leisl and her bone marrow donation, and she’ll be eternally grateful for that gift. It allowed her to be a mother to her children and a wife to her husband. She wants to increase the odds of that happening for everyone. Nina breezes in, saying, they have a problem… She sees Michael and Willow, and stops.

Dex says he doesn’t think they should talk about that, and Kristina says, my God, it is true. He says, yeah, and she says she’s so sorry. He says, she’s not responsible for her father, and she says, no, but she feels so stupid and naïve. She knows her dad worked outside the law, but she never thought he’d put Dex in that position. He says, if it makes her feel any better, it surprised him too, and she wonders if she can ask him another question. He says, sure, and she says, in the time that he worked for her dad, has he seemed different in the end than he was at the beginning? She knows that’s vague… He says he gets what she means. Yeah. Towards the end, Sonny was more volatile or could fly off the handle. She says, paranoid? and he says, yeah. After the attack in Puerto Rico, he was convinced there was traitor inside his organization. It didn’t take Sonny long to decide it was him, and after that, there was no changing his mind. She says, so it was after the shooting in Puerto Rico, and Dex says, he’d always been volatile, but that’s when it flipped to paranoia. She says, when Ava moved in, and Josslyn walks up. She asks Kristina if there’s something wrong.

Carly says, Jason thinks she wouldn’t have lost the hotel to begin with if he’d been here, and John asks if she agrees. She says, probably. It’s not Jason’s fault. Something was obviously keeping him away. He’s been through something. He says, Jason told her that? but she says, no. She could see it in his eyes. Now that he’s home, there’s so much he can’t get back or make up for, but this hotel is the one thing he could fix. He says, so she swallowed her pride and let him, and she says, don’t get her wrong. She’s thrilled to have the hotel back, but she wouldn’t have accepted it from anyone else. He says, she took it from Jason for him, and she says, yeah. And she’d do it again. He tells her to enjoy her hotel, and she tells him to enjoy his stay, and leaves.

Anna says her defenses were up because she thought someone was targeting her, and Jason says, somebody was targeting her. She says, not that night though. When she got back to the apartment, she could see someone had opened the door. She entered and there was a figure standing there in the dark, rifling through her things. And they turned toward her with something in their hand and she fired. He says, she did what her instincts were telling her to do, and she says, he wouldn’t have done that. He says, she doesn’t know that, but she says she does. He wouldn’t have entered an apartment that was dark and fired at a target he couldn’t see clearly. He says he wasn’t there. It’s impossible to say what would or wouldn’t have happened. You just can’t. She says, it’s really hard for her to accept that happened, and every time it flashes in her mind, she just tried to block it out. She shot a child. He says he’s sorry. She says, he should feel sorry for Charlotte, and he says he feels sorry for her too. It had to be tough to live through that. He’s really glad Charlotte’s okay. She says her too. She doesn’t know what she would have done if Charlotte hadn’t made it. Anyway, what she’s saying is, it’s impossible for her to look at Valentin and not think about his daughter. To her, he’s a father first and a person of interest second. In which case, she thinks she’s putting this entire investigation at risk.

Jack tells Valentin that he fears they’ve caught the interest of a government agency. The FBI, the CIA, NSA. The only one they can be sure it’s not, is the WSB. They don’t want to investigate Pikeman. They want to keep it running just as it has for decades. Valentin asks if he thinks the CIA put Jason in Pikeman, and Jack says he thinks they’d have to be idiots not to consider that possibility. And Morgan’s perfect. He’s got the right skillset, but he’s not an agent. If they hadn’t had the blind good luck to assign Morgan to an op in his own hometown, they’d never have caught on to him. Valentin says, he thinks that’s good luck? and Jack says, it’s only good if you know how to play it. Now another intelligence firm is coming after them. Valentin says, this is going to have to be their last face to face. There can’t be anything linking him to Jack. Jack says, right, and they still have to tie off Morgan, and Valentin says he thinks they might have gotten a break there. Jason and Sonny are currently at odds. Jack asks, how bad? The scale goes from creative difference to at war. Valentin says, from Sonny’s perspective, the latter. And with him erratic and angry… Jack says, they eliminate Jason and pin it on Sonny.

Nina says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Michael and Willow were here. Willow says, it’s fine, and Michael says, they were just leaving. Willow tells Drew that she’ll get back to him with an answer as soon as possible. Drew thanks her and she thanks him for thinking of her. She and Michael leave, and Nina closes the door. She says, Willow barely said a word to her, and Drew says, because they were in the middle of a meeting. Nina asks if Drew saw her smile just a little. Maybe she could call… No. She thinks texting is more appropriate. Drew thinks she should give Willow some space, and asks, what was so important that she had to barge into his office without knocking again (pot, meet kettle)? She says, Carly is giving her a hard time about doing standard maintenance on her office. He laughs and says, really? He wonders where she got that idea from. She says, remember, they’re on the same team, and he asks, in what world is he on the same team as her? She says, the one where Carly and Jason screwed them both over. So what’s the plan? He says, for? and she says, payback.

Kristina says, everything’s fine, and Josslyn asks if she’s sure. Because things looked a little tense. Kristina says she’s fine. The baby was just kicking and… She asked Dex if what Josslyn told her about her dad was true. Josslyn was right. Josslyn says, for the record, she wishes she wasn’t, and looking back, she certainly didn’t have to tell Kristina the way she did. Kristina leaves, and Dex says he should probably get going. It was good to see her. Josslyn says, wait.

Jack tells Valentin that he needs to tread carefully and make it look convincing. Otherwise, Anna will totally be on to him. Valentin says he heard Anna came to see Jack, and Jack says, she wanted to know all about Pikeman. She seemed to think that somehow, he knew who was running the show. Valentin asks what he told her, and Jack says, that he knew nothing. Anna’s closing in. They can take precautions against whoever has Pikeman under scrutiny, but their defenses against Anna are limited. She knows them both. She knows their history. She was there when they stole the money to fund Pikeman. All she has to do is put those pieces together and she’s plenty smart enough to do that. Valentin says, she’s already come to see him to talk about Pikeman. She asked him about Jack’s involvement, and he stonewalled. Jack says, and she believed him, and Valentin says, of course (🍷). Trust him. Anna’s not going to be a problem.

Anna tells Jason that every instinct in her body is screaming that Valentin is more involved in Pikeman than he’s saying, but for the reasons she just outlined, when she questions him, she comes up empty. She thinks she’s incapable of being objective. He says, this is where he comes in? and she says, yeah. He’s good at rational thinking, yeah? That’s what she hears. She’s wondering if he can get a read on Valentin, because he’s not going to be as suspicious of Jason as he is of her. Jason says he’ll do anything he can to help her. She may not trust her own judgment, but he does, and he always will. She thanks him and says she has a lead for him. He says, great. What? She says, Dex confirmed for her that Sonny did in fact take that shipment from Pikeman. He says he’s got his own reasons to talk to Dex. He’ll follow up and see if he knows anything about Valentin. She says she’ll always be here for back-up, and he says he knows. John calls to Jason, and he and Anna come out of the office. John says, oh look, the gang’s all here. Wait. They’re missing a member. Anna says, they were just… and John says he doesn’t care what they were doing here. The investigation into Pikeman is stalled. Care to explain why?

John says, Jason’s head isn’t in the game. He’s throwing money around, buying the MetroCourt for Carly Spencer. Just because he’s back in Port Charles with access to his bank accounts doesn’t make him a free man. Jason says, understood, and John says he wants an update on Pikeman, now. Jason says, there’s nothing to report right now, and John says, listen up. Either Jason gives him a way to get him what he wants, or Carly will lose the hotel – again – because she will be up on RICO charges.

Michael and Willow go to the MetroCourt, and Carly hugs them, saying, her two favorite people. Willow says, it’s already looking so much better in here, and Carly says, she thinks? Michael says, the MetroCourt has missed her special touch, and Carly thanks him. She asks what they’re doing here. Late lunch, early dinner, drinks? They know the MetroCourt does it all. Michael says, they’re not sure just yet, and Carly says, let her know when they decide. Duty calls. She leaves, and Michael and Willow sit at the bar. Willow says, his mom looks so happy, and he agrees. He asks what she thinks about Drew’s offer, and she says she was flattered and really surprised. He says he doesn’t want her to feel pressured. They’re 100% fine if she says no. She asks if that’s what he thinks she should do.

Drew tells Nina to speak for herself. He’s not interested in payback. Carly says, since when? He really enjoyed getting even with her. Why is he letting Carly and Jason off the hook? He says, Carly and Jason didn’t send him to prison, and she says, if he hadn’t been sent away, he and Carly would have been married by the time Jason came home, and how humiliating would that have been? He says, so she actually saved him from divorce? and she says, that’s right. He asks if she wants him to thank her, but she says, what she wants right now doesn’t really require any words. She kisses him, and he steps away. She asks if it’s too much for him, and he locks the door. They get busy.

Josslyn says she owes Dex an explanation, but he says, she doesn’t owe him anything. She says, it wasn’t her place to say anything to Kristina, but at the time she was very drunk scared about what Sonny might do him, and she thought that if she told Kristina, it would help. He asks if she’s not scared anymore, and she says, no. She thinks he’s going to be just fine. Has he heard from the academy? He says, not yet, and she says she’s sure he’ll get in. He says, we’ll see, and she says, the PCPD would be lucky to have him. He asks if she really thinks so, and she says she knows so.

Ava tells Nikolas, all those years she spent with her nose pressed up against the window, on the outside looking in, despised, ridiculed by everybody in Sonny’s orbit. He says, not Nina, and she says, no, not Nina. But the collapse of Sonny and Nina was inevitable. Nina never really had a chance of understanding him. Not like she does. Because Sonny wasn’t the man Nina thought he was. Does he know what she’s really loving? She’s really tickled pink about that Carly is finally getting a taste of her own medicine. He says, now they’re getting somewhere, and she says, always looking down her nose at reprehensible, despicable Ava Jerome. Repeatedly slamming the door in her face. Guess who’s in charge of entry now? He says, her? and she says, me, and she can be the ousted traitor. She’s the trusted confident. He says, Sonny makes her feel powerful, and she says, yeah. But she’s helping him too. He says, how so? and she lowers her voice and says, Sonny’s on a quarter dose of his medication. He asks if she arranged it, but she says, no. Absolutely not. She has to find out who’s responsible. In the meantime, she knows that Sonny is vulnerable and she’s watching out for him. He asks if she’s saying she hasn’t told Sonny.

Dex says, they both know he has a lot to make up for, and Josslyn says, if she’s come off as some perfect angel, she knows that she’s not. She’s done things she’s not proud of and she doesn’t even know why she did them. She just knows they didn’t make her feel like her. Does that make sense? He says, it makes a lot of sense. There is a scale. The bad things she’s done versus the bad things he’s done. She says she’s not trying to compare. She’s just saying she knows she’s messed up too. So she shouldn’t stand in judgement of anybody else. And that includes him. She leaves.

Drew and Nina get busy all over the office.

Ava says, no, she hasn’t told Sonny, and Nikolas asks, why not? Never mind. He thinks he knows. She likes under medicated Sonny, doesn’t she? He’s receptive in a way he’s never been to her before. She says, they’re getting along very well, and he says, getting along? They’re playing house. She says, as long as she’s watching out for Sonny, what’s the downside? He says, if Sonny finds out what’s wrong and she knew, if he even suspects she had a hand in this… She says she didn’t, and he says, but she didn’t try to fix it. He’s not rational. She’s playing with big fire here. She says, he almost sounds like he cares, and he says, she knows he does. She says, yet he always underestimates her. She puts her hand on his and says she knows what she’s doing. She leaves, and he says, God, I hope so.

Willow asks if Michael doesn’t think she’d be good at it, but he says he knows she’d be amazing to whatever she put her mind to. He just doesn’t want her to feel obligated, that’s all. If she does decide to take the job, just make sure it’s what she really wants. She says, Drew told her that she could think on it, so that’s what she’s going to do, and he says, okay.

John says, Carly stays free as long as Jason does what the FBI asks of him. Are they clear? Jason sighs and says, clear. John says, good. They both know he spent years running contraband through here. He suggests Jason renew his contacts and find out how Pikeman is moving their shipments through Port Charles and when they plan to do it again. Jason goes back to his office, and John says he does what he has to in order to get the results he needs. Anna says she can tell he doesn’t like himself very much when he treats Jason like that, and he says, it doesn’t matter how any of them feel about it. What matters is, they get it done.

Valentin tells Jack not to worry. He knows how to play Anna. Jack says, he’d better be right, for her sake. He likes Anna. He always has, but the WSB has too much invested in Pikeman. If she threatens that, take a wild guess what’s going to happen to her. Valentin says, nothing is going to happen, and Jack says, Valentin wants to keep Anna safe, keep his distance. The more time he spends with Anna, the greater the risk he’ll give himself away. Valentin says, it’s all the time he has for Jack. He’s got to go. He leaves.

Tomorrow, Michael says he’ll take this one for the team; Anna says she’ll have to think about that before giving Valentin an answer; Jason talks to Dex; and Drew and Nina get interrupted.

Below Deck

Port Louis Marina. Barbie kicks Kyle out of her bunk. No chef, no breakfast, so they eat watermelon. In Kyle’s interview, he says he’s been chasing Barbie like a lost puppy this whole time, and we flash back to that. He’s not saying he always gets what he wants, but he’s pretty persistent. Everyone trickles into the crew mess, and Dylan wonders why he tried to kiss Sunny last night. We flash back to his kiss fail, and Sunny saying, they’re not doing that. Ben teases Barbie about Kyle, after Barbie asked Kyle not to mention they’re tryst to anyone. Captain Kerry says, chef incoming, and in his interview, Chef Nick says he’s been a chef for 22 years, and lost his mind a long time ago, but he’s harmless crazy. He’s not about to murder anyone. We’ll see how he feels after being on this boat a while. He says he’s from England, 40 years old, and yachting keeps him youthful. And he has no ex-wives or kids, which is probably why he looks good. He meets the captain, who tells him that Chef Anthony’s food was incredible, but his timing was not. Captain Kerry says, he’s not here to teach anyone to cook and has no room for chefzillas. The guests are arriving tomorrow, and he suggests Nick see the galley and find out what works and what doesn’t work. In Ben’s interview, he says, being on the St. David is like a stroll down Memory Lane. He and Camille were kids in love, that’s how he’d say it. We flash back to that, and he says he’s been thinking about her. Maybe part of him believes they could be great together. He posts pictures of them together on his Instagram. Barbie tells Kyle not to say anything, but he says, people aren’t stupid. I beg to differ on that, but I get what he’s saying. In Barbie’s interview, she says, it’s the one thing her dad said not to do. Even when she was married, she didn’t kiss her husband in front of her father. Okay, that’s odd. Are they Amish or something?

Sunny sees Camille on Ben’s Instagram and cries to Barbie. She says she knows they’re just sleeping together, but it’s weird. It’s hard right now. Paris says she still deserves respect. Fraser meets Nick, and in his interview, he says, Anthony struggled with time, organization, and upkeep. We flash back to that, and he says he’s hopeful they can be rid of those things. Clearly, Nick has experience. Green flags all over. Fraser wonders why Barbie wants to keep her and Kyle a secret, and the captain calls for the preference sheet meeting. Paris tells Ben that he could have told Sunny about the Instagram photos, and Barbie wants to take back her night with Kyle. The captain reads that primary Alex wants a memorable vacation for his friends. They love Instagrammable food and want to have a seafood spread with octopus nachos on the first night. They also want to go to the local chocolate factory to make their own chocolate. They want a Caribbean Christmas – speedos and Santa hats – and want a meal that ends at the stroke of midnight. Captain Kerry says, they have high expectations. I say, more like peculiar expectations. Barbie tells Fraser that she’s having an off day and feels like she’s disappointed her dad. She cries and he hugs her. Wow my dad probably would have thought there was something wrong with me if I hadn’t slept with anyone by the time I was her age.

Barbie says she feels that her dad is going to be disappointed and embarrassed of her. Everybody made it a thing, and Ben thinks it’s a joke. Fraser says, no one thinks anything. They’re all family and love her. On deck, Kyle says he wasn’t going to talk, but she made the decision. In Nick’s interview, he says, this galley is in his top three worst. He doesn’t know how no one got food poisoning. He cleans the refrigerator and tells Fraser that it was black from mold. Ben tells Kyle that he and Camille had a connection he doesn’t think he and Sunny will ever have. He’ll never understand the mind of a lady. Kyle says, you think you’ve got it, and wham. Sunny comes on deck, and Ben asks how she is. He’s sorry she was annoyed at his Instagram posts. She says, they took her off guard. She wasn’t expecting it. Ben says, it’s always something and he needs to finish the season strong. If they sleep together, they sleep together. If they don’t, they don’t. He doesn’t think they have an attachment.  He tries to take her hand, but she slips it out of his and leaves. Sunny tells Paris and Barbie that Ben told her there’s always something wrong. It’s like she’s toxic. Paris and Barbie hold her as she cries, and she says she’s working through sh*t. Paris says, he’s being a d*ckhead. Sometimes men need to take responsibility for their actions and how they make people feel, and he’s not doing that. In Paris’s interview, she says she’s learned not to sh*t where she eats. Man don’t change. Dylan listens to affirmations in his bunk. You are strong… You are intelligent… You are humble… Apparently, only the first one has stuck so far. Barbie texts Kyle and says she doesn’t know what part of this he finds funny.  

Nick tells Captain Kerry that he turns up, assesses the damage, and cracks on, and the captain says he’s glad to have Nick aboard. Kyle texts Barbie that he’s not taking it as a joke, but she’s making him look like a joke. In Kyle’s interview, he says he hasn’t done anything wrong. In fact, he’s done the opposite. He’s done what he can to make her comfortable and she’s acting childish. Sunny blows off Ben and not in a good way. In Nick’s interview, he says he washed dishes and worked his way up to Michelin starred restaurants. He’s been working on yachts for 10 or 11 years. It’s a lot of pressure and you have to keep a steady head. Provisions come in, and Fraser tells Nick, don’t be shy with the cheese. Barbie says she asked Kyle to be a gentleman and she thinks his feelings are hurt. In her interview, she says she’s pissed. He knows she’s conservative. She wants to convert to orthodox. It’s not guy talk or yacht talk. He was a person she could trust, and she feels she can’t trust him now.

Ben texts Camille, and the guests arrive. They look like a possible handful. Captain Kerry welcomes them, and Fraser gives the tour. When he tells the guests that the hot tub is a prime spot for a 360 of the boat, guest Jennifer says she thought he was going to say threesome, and he says, they’ll get to that. He tells them that they have a chocolate excursion coming up after lunch, and tapas is out now. The lunch table is decorated with shells, ropes, and a miniature lighthouse. I love it. The guests tell Fraser that they all met on Instagram, and in Fraser’s interview, he says he wants to confiscate their phones. He gets that it’s their jobs, but it’s a lot. Ugh. Hell yeah. These people are obsessed already. Fraser says, it’s going to be Christmas when they get back, and Alex says his friends call him Father Holiday. In Nick’s interview, he says, octopus nachos. Having influencers on board, he guesses they take a lot of photos. Kids these days. Geez, he’s not that old. The internet has certainly been around most of his life. Fraser wonders if the chips (i.e. French fries) will be enough for eight, and the captain asks Nick if there will be any more seafood. The preference sheet said a seafood spread. Nick says, all he saw were the nachos, and in Captain Kerry’s interview, he says, here we go again. He was clear that Nick should read the preference sheets and there’s only one seafood item.

Nick says he can have scallops in five minutes. The guests applaud the nachos and take pictures before it’s served. The camera action is seriously obnoxious. The guests cheers with lamb chops, and it’s time for the excursion. Xandi is accompanying the guests, and Fraser tells her to bring him chocolates. One of the guests tells Fraser, it’s going to get weird later, and he says he can’t wait. In the taxi, one guest says she’s ready to be a MILF, but I don’t see that as happening. On the yacht, the stews get out the Christmas decorations, and in the taxi, guest Steven says he’s into Fraser. In Fraser’s interview, he says he thinks Steven is hot. The guests go to Tri Island Chocolate, where the owner tells them, this is where the magic happens. He shows them how the sausage chocolate is made, starting with the original plant pod. The guests take a million photos. Anchor is dropped and the stews decorate for Christmas. Fraser confirms that Captain Kerry is having dinner with the guests. Ben tells Kyle that he’s been thinking about his ex, and Kyle asks if he’s thinking with his d*ck or actually thinking. In Ben’s interview, he says he likes Sunny. She’s cute and fun to be around, but they don’t have a spark and you can’t force anything. He had magic with Camille and that’s what he’s after. He calls her.

Ben tells Camille that he called to see how she’s doing. Being on the St. David is like a trip down Memory Lane and he misses her. He asks what she’s up to, and she says her band got a guitar player and she’s performing in Fort Lauderdale. He says he’d love to see her, but she says she doesn’t know. She just got to town two months ago. He says he’ll catch her soon, and when they hang up, he asks, why is he such a f***ing loser? In Ben’s interview, he says, it’s a hard pill to swallow, and this is the second time. He’s got to learn from the first time. Now he knows. F***ing chicks. Yeah, it must be the chicks. It can’t possibly be him. Kyle meets the guests wearing reindeer antlers and tells them, welcome to the North Pole. In Paris’s interview, she says, it’s hot in Australia at Christmastime. Their Santa is naked. When she’s in doubt, she thinks, what would Santa do? The guests are greeted with egg nogg, and the yacht looks beautiful all Christmased up. In Fraser’s interview, he says he loved Christmas as a kid, and we see a video of him as a youngster. He says, it was such a special, wonderful time. At the bar, Steven says he’s got a thing for Fraser, and Barbie says, he’s super single and super ready. In Nick’s interview, he says, tonight’s dinner is the Feast of the Seven Fishes. Being a chef, his memory of Christmas is stress, since it’s his busiest time. He likes Halloween. He likes to get dressed up and be weird. Fraser dresses as Santa and Paris puts on an elf costume. She tells Fraser that she could cut the sexual tension between him and Steven with a knife. Kyle whines to Ben about Barbie, and in Kyle’s interview, he says he has a heart too. Captain Kerry sits with the guests for dinner, and Alex gives him a sparkly bow tie to wear. This is nothing compared to Alex’s jacket, which is green and adorned with tinsel garlands and ornaments. Fraser says, it’s a Christmas miracle. Captain Kerry says, the chef just started yesterday, and the guests tells the captain that he’s doing phenomenal. One guest asks if the captain ever had a scary moment on the yacht, and he says, when he was in Somalia, they saw a boat that shouldn’t be there. They altered course and so did the other boat, but they found out they were Somali fisherman who were worried about their traps. They’d thought it was a warship. Food porn keeps coming, and Nick says, it’s simple, but tasty. For dessert, he’s made cannoli with some chocolate from the excursion. I’m not a cannoli fan, but I’d eat this. Nick comes to the table and says he hopes they’re happy, and Alex says he loves it. The guests applaud Nick, and in the captain’s interview, he says he’s impressed with the timing and presentation. Happy captain, happy life.

Dylan listens to more affirmations, and the guests get in the hot tub. Ben corners Barbie and says, Kyle is upset and annoyed and wants to talk to her. She says she doesn’t know how Ben can get mad about her personal relationship. She’ll chat with him, and hopefully he doesn’t approach her the way Ben is. She didn’t attack him about Sunny. In Barbie’s interview, she says she doesn’t know how many times she’s seen Sunny cry. She tells Ben that she’ll talk to Kyle. Please sit the f*** down. She tells Paris that she was just bitched out by Ben. He fully attacked her, and she wonders why her personal stuff is his issue. It’s pissing her off. Kyle asks if Barbie wants to chat, and she wonders if he’s going to continue talking to everyone on the yacht. It’s disappointing. In Nick’s interview, he says, if you’re going to do it, do it with the right person. It can be awkward. The guests agree it’s the best Christmas ever, and Kyle asks Barbie if they’re okay or not okay. In his interview, he says he screwed up a little. He hopes she can see past his mistake. He apologizes for talking when she asked him not to and says he understands that she’s pissed off, but he needed to voice his opinion. She says she thought he had her back, but he played into it. In Kyle’s interview, he says he likes Barbie a lot, and it built into something he didn’t expect. He f***ed up and it sucks. He says he genuinely apologizes, and Barbie says she accepts, but she doesn’t trust him.

Next time, Nick says Paris is his third favorite stew (seems like they knew each other); sparklers on deck; guest Steven and Fraser kiss; Barbie calls her sister, who says, she knows their dad has standards and she should have thought of that before.

🏃🏽‍♀️ Running With Forrest…

Join me tomorrow for some soap and some Rules. Until then, stay safe, stay not putting your feet on other people’s furniture, and stay not doing things on a reality show that you don’t want your father to know about.