What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

So, it wasn’t a dream. Just the stupidest plan ever.

Drew tells Nina to meet the new Editor-in-Chief of Crimson, and Carly walks in. Carly thanks him for this amazing opportunity, and Drew says he can’t wait to see how her fresh, new perspective is going to benefit Crimson. Nina applauds slowly and says, well played.

On the phone in her office, Lucy says she doesn’t understand the hold-up. When is he going to give her an update on their little operation? At the MetroCourt, Scotty says he’s just trying to get his ducks in a row with Tracy, but the good news is, he’s meeting her at the MetroCourt this morning. She asks how he made that happen, and he says he told her the truth. Lucy says, which truth? and he says, the truth about her. Lucy asks what that even means. She’s coming there right now. He says, she’s going to cramp his style, and she says, what style? She heads for the door, telling him that he’s going to explain every word he’s said to Tracy or she’s going to pull every hair… Martin says, there she is, and kisses her. He asks where she’s running off to in such a hurry.

Tracy comes into the restaurant, and Scotty says he’s glad she could make it. She says, against her better judgement. He said he had something to tell her. He says, the service is kind of slow in here. Why don’t they go someplace else? He takes her coat, but she grabs it back, saying, I don’t think so. Never let them take you to a second location. (Ha-ha-ha! The one thing I learned from Bo Diedl.) He asks if that isn’t what they tell potential crime victims, and she says she’s here against her will, isn’t she?

Chase and Brook come in and find Gregory at a table. He says, Brook’s grandmother is here. Should they ask her to join them? Book says, look who she’s here with. She hardly wants to get involved with whatever Tracy has going on with Scotty. Chase says, Brook is right. Besides, they want to have a personal conversation with him. It’s about the wedding. Brook says, and his part in it.

At the hospital, Spencer tells Laura, it’s getting late. Maybe she can talk with Dante alone. He has a lot to do before his trip to Paris. She asks if he doesn’t think he’s done enough, and he says he knows she disagrees with him about his decision to give Ace to his father, but it’s very difficult for him. She says, doing the right thing is rarely easy, which is why he’s going to stay right here and tell the PCPD everything he knows about Ace’s kidnapping.

Sitting at a table, Esme tells someone that they’re right. She should have been more careful. They warned her and she didn’t listen. Now this has happened and they’re the only person she can turn to. Heather says, tell your mother everything.

Gregory says he’ll help in any way he can, and Chase says, good. He was hoping Gregory would say that. Would he officiate their ceremony?

Scotty says he’s known Tracy a long time, and he’s never seen her do anything against her will. She says, true, and for the life of her, she doesn’t know why she agreed to meet him today. He says he thinks she has him wrong. He knows she sees him as shallow as a mud puddle, but he believes in truth, justice, and the American way. Justice is why he became a lawyer, and justice is why they’re here today. Lucy has it in for her. She says, do tell.

Lucy says she didn’t even know Martin was back. He didn’t call her. He says, because he didn’t want to spoil that adorable look of surprise on her face when he walked in the door. She says she’s definitely surprised, and he says he’s sorry he wasn’t here to support her during Bobbie Spencer’s funeral, but he thought he could start making it up to her with two all-day passes to the MetroCourt spa. Say the word, and her facial awaits. She says, that’s so sweet. Sweet and special. She loves their facials, and their body scrubs are divine, but is it okay if she takes a raincheck? He says, sure, but he has to admit he was looking forward to spending some time with her. He hasn’t seen her in days. She says she knows, and she’s missed him so, so much, but she has meetings booked through lunch. She was just going to grab a bite to eat at the MetroCourt. He says, by herself? and she says, he knows how she loves their pancakes. He says he does. He recalls that on the first morning they spent together. He kisses her, and she says, what she recalls from that morning is how sexy he looked in that Santa suit. He says his sartorial choices have changed since then, but his companionship is still as charming as ever. Will she allow him to escort her to the MetroCourt? He holds out his arm and says, she knows she wants it. She takes his arm, and they leave.

Dante asks when Laura realized Ace was missing and who does she think is responsible? She says, the situation is rather complicated, and Spencer says, his brother is with their father. Dante says, Nikolas is back in town? and Laura says, he was. She didn’t see him though. Dante says, so what happened? He just walked in and took Ace? Nobody noticed? She says, not exactly, and Dante says he doesn’t think he understands. Spencer says he let his father take Ace.

Heather says, Nikolas took Ace? How dare he? Eame says, he thinks he’s untouchable. He thinks he can do whatever he wants. Heather says, of course (🍷) he does. What’s his mother have to say about her precious son kidnapping her grandchild? Esme says she hasn’t actually told Laura yet. She would have too many questions; number one being, why hasn’t Esme contacted the police yet? Heather says, of course (🍷) she can’t. Not without Spencer shooting his mouth off about the old Esme being back. Esme says, which is why she went to see Spencer’s Great Uncle Cyrus. Heather says, Cyrus Renault? Do not buy into that guy’s evangelizing. The gospel truth is, he cannot be trusted. Esme says, he proved that to her himself. She was desperate and he didn’t even offer any help. Heather says, surprise, surprise, and Esme says, which is why she’s here. She was hoping Heather would have an idea about what her next step might be. Heather says, run. And when she thinks she’s far away enough from Port Charles, run some more.

Nina says, that seems worthy of the Port Charles Players, and Drew says he’s really glad she enjoyed it. Now get out. Carly says, before she goes, who tipped her off to the insider trading in the first place? and Nina says, Carly should really ask her good friend Olivia. If Olivia wasn’t running her mouth so indiscreetly, she wouldn’t have overheard. Her voice does carry. Carly says, eavesdropping. Shocker. Drew says, now go, and Nina says, with pleasure. Before she leaves, she just has one question. Now that the two of them have humbled her, are they finally even?

Gregory says, they want him to officiate their wedding? and Chase says, they want someone to lead them through their vows who knows them personally. Brook says, someone they love, and Chase says, there is nobody who can put into words the significance of the commitment they’re about to make to each other more eloquently than Gregory. Gregory says, it would be a privilege, and Brook says she’s sensing a but here.

Spencer says he’s very, very sorry to have wasted Dante’s time, but as he can see, the police aren’t necessary in this situation. His baby brother wasn’t kidnapped. Dante says, technically, by New York State law, he’s correct, and Laura says, she told him it was a complicated situation. That’s why she didn’t report that Ace was… abducted. Dante says, it would have been considered kidnapping had Esme had a legal custody order. Otherwise, the statute, the default, is that both parents get custody. There are extreme situations where it could be considered kidnapping when one parent takes the child without the other’s permission. Spencer says, this isn’t an extreme situation. His father just wanted to spend some time with his son. Dante says, right, without Ace’s mother knowing, who’s been raising him up until this point. What’s Esme have to say about all this? Laura says she’s sure Esme is going out of her mind. Hasn’t she made a report? Dante says, no, and Spencer says, this proves what he was saying. Esme doesn’t want to go to the police right now, not given the stakes. Dante asks, what stakes are higher than a missing child?

Esme says she thinks Heather is right about her leaving Port Charles. As soon as she finds Ace, no one in this town is ever going to see her again. Heather says, she can’t wait that long. She has to leave now. Esme says, without her son? No, never. Heather says, she doesn’t have a choice. Esme has no allies or anybody to help her. Except her. And she’s a little preoccupied – she waves to the guard – at the moment. It’s going to come out that Esme got her memory back, no matter what Spencer does or doesn’t do. Esme says, Heather doesn’t know that, but Heather tells her, think. What is she going to do, keep pretending that Ace is in the next room? Esme told her that Laura and Doc come to visit him all the time. They’re going to figure out real quick that something’s up. And what is she going to do when she can’t produce Ace? Esme says she hadn’t thought that far ahead, and Heather says, they’re going to figure it all out, and then they’re going to drag Esme back to court, stand her on trial for everything she did. Unless she wants to spend the rest of her life in prison, she’s got to make a break for it. Now, before it’s too late. Esme says, but what about Ace? Is she just supposed to abandon her child the way Heather abandoned her?

Drew says, Nina had to know there would be a certain reckoning. Her actions caused a lot of pain to a lot of people and nearly destroyed lives. These are the kinds of things that can’t go unanswered. Nina asks if they don’t think she’s suffered enough. She lost her husband, she lost her daughter, and now apparently, her job. For something she did that was completely legal, informing the SEC that insider trading had occurred. Carly says, well, Drew’s the boss, and it’s completely legal for him to fire her. Nina says, Carly’s loving this, isn’t she? Kicking her when she’s completely down. Nina starts to walk to the door, and says, before she goes, now that she’s the condemned woman, may she ask when they’re going to put her out of her misery? Carly says, that’s up to her, and Drew asks if the pity party is almost over. They have a magazine to run, and she’s not entitled to their time any more than she’s entitled to a job here. Nina tells Carly that they have two things in common. They’ll do anything for their family and they both know how to settle a score. Drew says, enough. Just get out or he’ll throw her out. Nina and Carly lock eyes.

Nina says, no use staying when your moment is over. Drew got to see her face when he told her that she was fired. Was it everything he was hoping for? He says, just leave, and she says, but now the fun is over, because now they actually have to run a magazine. She puts on her sunglasses, says, good luck, and leaves. Drew closes the door, and Carly looks like she’s pouting. He says, what’s wrong? She says she doesn’t know squat about running a magazine.

Laura tells Dante that Spencer is convinced Esme hasn’t made a report about Ace being missing because she’s afraid the DA’s office is going to reinstate the charges against her. Dante asks, why she would be afraid of that all of a sudden? Trina agreed to drop the charges because DA Scorpio said the charges wouldn’t stick and the jury wouldn’t convict because Esme couldn’t remember the crimes she committed. Spencer says, she couldn’t then, but she can now, and Dante asks if he’s saying Esme has her memory back. Spencer tells him, that’s exactly what he’s saying. And he’s also saying, Dante should go and arrest her instead of his father.

Heather says she didn’t abandon Esme. She gave Esme up because it was what was best for her at the time. Esme says, running off without her son is not what’s best for him, and Heather says she understands. Of course (🍷) it’s not, but temporarily relinquishing custody of Ace will ensure her liberty. They both know Nikolas is a feckless dilettante with an overactive libido (even the lowlifes are well-read in Port Charles), but he’s not going to hurt Ace. Go find a place to hide where she can regroup. And then someday soon – she lowers her voice – she’s busting out of this joint, and they’ll join forces and find Ace together. The same way she found Esme. Esme says, look how well that turned out, and Heather says she may be behind bars, but she’s got her daughter back in her life. And that is worth every second in this hellhole. Esme says, they missed out on a lot of time together, and she can’t fathom being separated from her child for even a fraction of that. She wouldn’t know if he was eating. She wouldn’t know if he was sleeping. And it would kill her. Heather says she understands. It’s hard, but Nikolas has Ace, and they don’t have the resources right now to track him down. Esme has to play the long game here. Esme asks if she’s just supposed to hide out all alone while Spencer and Trina sail off into the sunset, and Heather asks if she’s speaking as a mother right now, or as a jealous ex.

Tracy says, Scotty and Lucy are thick as thieves. Why betray her? He says, because he thinks it’s wrong that Lucy is gunning for her, and Tracy asks if Lucy has a specific plan to get even with her. He says, she knows Lucy and her half-baked schemes. She’s always got something going on in that crazy head of hers. She says, and whatever Lucy is cooking up, he deemed bad enough to warrant warning her. Why? He says, that’s simple. He’s seen Lucy’s wrath, and he wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of it. She says, that’s very gallant, but isn’t that exactly what he’s risking, becoming Lucy’s target? He says he can handle anything Lucy throws at him. And now that he’s tipped Tracy off, so can she.

Martin says he thinks their reunion calls for some champagne. What would Lucy say to some mimosas? She says she’d love it, but she told him, she has all those meetings later. She really needs to stay sharp. She looks over and watches Scotty talking to Tracy.

Gregory says he’s so touched by their offer, but officiating at their wedding isn’t as simple as just leading them through their vows. Brook says, she and Chase thought he might have some concerns, so they went ahead and did some research. Actually, the process is super simple. It won’t take him any time at all to get licensed online. Gregory says, they’re a step ahead of him. He doesn’t know what to say. Chase tells him, say yes. It would mean the world to them. Gregory says he wants them to know how honored he is, but he’s sorry. He’s going to have to decline.

Lucy continues watching Scotty and Tracy, and Martin says, it’s been a hell of a year for them, and he doesn’t want to risk losing Lucy again. She says, he doesn’t have to. She really wants to focus on the future now, their future. He says he’s really glad to hear her say that. This might sound childish, but he just thinks they’ve felt off lately. As a matter of fact, he was beginning to wonder if her feelings about him had changed.

Gregory says, their wedding day is going to be a celebration of their love, and after everything Brook and Chase have gone through to get to that moment, he wants everything to be perfect. Chase says, that’s what they want to, which is why they want him to be a part of it. Gregory says, and he will be. He’ll be the beaming father, watching it all happen, and it will fill him with joy to witness it. But he can’t promise any more than that. He may not be at his best. Brook says, they know ALS is unpredictable, so Chase has already worked with the venue to address every possible accessibility and accommodation. So he doesn’t have to worry about a thing if he needs any extra help. Gregory says, she’s so sweet, and he appreciates them both going above and beyond for him to make this happen. But it isn’t just the mobility issue. Chase says, then what is it? and Gregory says he knows they’ve both done their research on ALS. They’re aware this disease can affect his ability to speak. Actually, it already has. He’s had some issues lately. He would hate to preside over such a momentous day and not be able to make himself understood.

Drew says he thought they were on the same page about firing Nina, and Carly says, they are. She deserved to go. Up until she crossed that threshold, it was all about sticking it to them. He says he’s getting her out of his life, out of his business, all of it, and she says, yes, and the win is going to be for nothing if Crimson tanks and goes out of business. He says, that’s not going to happen. Crimson’s in great shape. She says, okay. This is his business. This is his area of expertise. He knows what he’s doing. So she’ll stay on as Crimson’s Editor-in-Chief and she’ll keep that seat warm for the moment, but he’s going to have to find someone with more experience to take over, and soon. He asks if she’s sure about that, and she says, they were both sure about that. He tells her that the knows they said she would take this job temporarily, but why does it have to be that way? Why couldn’t Carly love it and want to do it forever?

Nina goes into the bathroom and sees Olivia, who says, it’s been a while. Nina says she hasn’t seen Olivia since it came out that she was the SEC informant, and Olivia says, and her husband wasn’t.

Dante says he understands that Esme put Spencer and his friends through hell, and he wants her to pay for his crimes just as much as Spencer does. Spencer says, good news. He’s a cop. He can make that happen. Laura says, it’s not that simple, and Dante says, unfortunately, Esme’s slip of the tongue and Spencer’s gut feeling that she’s got her memory back isn’t enough for the police to arrest somebody, or even detain somebody who is, in the eyes of the law, an innocent person. Spencer says, innocent? This is Esme Prince they’re talking about. Dante says, they’re also talking about him. Maybe he should be arresting Spencer instead.

Laura says, Dante wouldn’t actually arrest Spencer, and Spencer says, and charge him with what? He didn’t break any laws when he handed Ace over to his father. Dante says, no? How about aiding and abetting a fugitive? Did he forget his father is a wanted man? Did he forget he had an obligation to report seeing him? Spencer says, it’s interesting because he’d think Dante, of all people, would understand what it’s like to love a complicated father. Hasn’t Dante been struggling with whether or not to report Sonny for his many crimes over the years? He believes Sonny once shot Dante over that. Laura asks what Spencer is doing and tells Dante that she’s sorry about this. She doesn’t know what’s gotten into her grandson. It’s been a very emotional day. Dante says, it’s okay, and tells Spencer, don’t worry. He’s not going to arrest him. It’s not going to help them find Ace. But he will issue a bulletin for Nikolas now that they know he as in town last night. Spencer says he wasn’t trying to knock Dante’s old man or Dante’s love for him. He was simply trying to point out the lengths family will go to for one another. Dante says, let him give Spencer a piece of advice. When you love family, you know they don’t always make the best and most legal decisions. Spencer says, point taken. His only goal was to protect his little brother, and given what he knows about Esme, he believes he did the right thing by letting his father take him. Dante says, the problem is, Esme might have something to say about that. He’s got to get her statement. Time to bring Esme in.

Esme tells Heather, this isn’t about jealousy. This is about vengeance. She wants every single one of them to pay. Heather says, that’s my girl, and Esme says, Nikolas, Spencer, Trina, Ave, they’re all going to get what they deserve. Heather says, of course (🍷) they are, and they’re going to make it happen. Does Esme think she’d really allow those ingrates a single moment of peace in their miserable lives after they conspired to kidnap her grandson? Esme says, but what can Heather do from behind bars? and Heather laughs. She says, incarceration has never been an impediment to justice for her. Just leave it all to mommy. Esme asks if this form of justice has ever involved locating a millionaire fugitive before, and Heather says she knows that face. Esme’s father used to make it all the time. Esme doesn’t believe she can do this. Esme says she doesn’t exactly know what to believe anymore, and Heather promises they’ll find Ace, but Esme just can’t go off on her own trying to do this by herself. Remember what she told Esme last time. She’s in the best possible position. Ryan is gone. Cold in the ground or six feet under, whichever way she wants to think about it, and the cops have nothing on her. Fly free, little birdie. Esme says she remembers something Heather told her last time – Ace is everything. Without her son, she has nothing. Heather says, if Esme has never trusted anyone in her life, trust her. Nobody loves her like her mom. She’s going to have everything she wants, but she’s got to play it smart.

Carly says, Drew wants her to stay on as Editor-in-Chief of Crimson magazine. That wasn’t the plan. He says, plans change. Think about it. Nina didn’t know anything about running a magazine when she started here. She learned as she went. Carly isn’t that familiar with publishing, but she knows how to run a company. Carly says she does, but that’s not the issue. She let him make her Editor-in-Chief of Crimson so she could see Nina’s face when she took something Nina loved. He says, and they accomplished that. Did she see the way Nina slunk out of here? (Just for the record, there was no slinking, but I’ve already determined Drew is delusional with this whole thing.) Carly says, it was very rewarding, but it can end there. She doesn’t want to make a decision this big for the wrong reason. He says, her taking this job doesn’t have to just be about sticking it to Nina. It can be about so much more. Think about it. They keep everything that’s working, obviously, but they can get rid of things they don’t agree with and make it their own. (In other words, it ain’t broke, but they’re going to fix it.) He asks if she has any idea how rewarding that would be, and she says, what about Bobbie’s?

Olivia says, why pile on somebody who’s already in a bad place? Not even Nina. Nina wipes tears from her eyes, and Olivia asks, what happened? Nina says, Drew fired her from Crimson, and Olivia says, what? Nina says, and he hired Carly as Editor-in-Chief, and Olivia says, Mary, Mother of God. She’s got to say, she did not see that coming. Nina says she seconds that, and Olivia says she knows Nina put a lot of herself into Crimson. This has got to hurt. Nina says she doesn’t get Olivia. She’s Carly’s best friend, yet she offered to help Nina plan her wedding. she made Olivia’s husband her fall guy and she found out Nina was the one who blew the whistle on Carly and Drew, and she said nothing. Why? Olivia says, to keep the peace. Nina and Sonny were newly married, and Nina and Carly were co-existing, and Drew was out of prison. What good would it do to bring up all the things Nina’s done? It’s not going to give Carly and Drew any of the time back they lost. It was just going to hurt Sonny. So she kept quiet. She convinced Ned to do the same… She tells Nina, don’t feel like she has to thank her or anything.

Scotty says he’s not saying anything to Tracy that he hasn’t already said to Lucy. He told her to stop doing anything to Tracy, especially after everything she’s been through. Tracy asks what that’s supposed to mean, and he says, she lost Luke not that long ago. She says, irrelevant, and he says, is it? He thinks he can relate. He thinks when you’re lonely you can recognize it in someone else. He didn’t just ask her here to tell her about Lucy. He wanted to see how she was. He wanted to check on her. He’d like to be her friend.

Lucy asks why Martin would question her feelings for him, and he says, it’s kind of embarrassing. The fact is, he let someone get inside his head. He notices her watching Tracy and Scotty, and flashes back to Tracy telling him that Scotty has stood by Lucy through every despicable act. He gets up, and Lucy asks, where is he going? He says, she’s going to have to forgive him. Suddenly, he’s lost his appetite.

Chase says, if accepting this role makes Gregory feel uncomfortable, or he hates the idea of all eyes being on him, that’s one thing. But if he thinks they’re going to be disappointed because his words don’t come out perfectly when he’s marrying them, then he’s wrong. What matters is what he says, not how he says it. Gregory says he appreciates that, but it’s Brook’s day too, and Chase can’t speak for her. Brook asks if he’s met her. She has no problem giving her opinion. He says, true. That’s one of the things he likes about her. She thanks him and says, please listen to her. She’s telling him how they both feel. if he wants their wedding day to be perfect, there’s no way it’s going to be perfect unless he marries them.

Dante asks if either of them have seen Esme, but Laura says she hasn’t seen her yet today. Esme’s also not returning any of her calls or texts. Spencer says he doesn’t know where she is either, and Dante says he’ll see what he can turn up. If Spencer sees his father again… Spencer says he won’t, but Dante says, if he does, call the police. It’s in both their best interests. Laura thanks him for looking into this, and asks him to call her with any updates, no matter how small. Dante says, will do, and leaves. Spencer says he’s sorry. He knows Laura is angry with him for letting his father take Ace. She says she’s not as angry as she is worried. if he’s right about Esme and she’s reverted to her old ways, they should not underestimate her. There’s no telling what she could do now.

Esme says she used to be terrified of Heather, and she knows she’s said some unkind things to her. Heather says, who hasn’t? and Esme says, but now that she’s become a mother, she sees things differently. She can appreciate how Heather always knew how she was and what she was doing. Heather stopped at nothing to protect her. That’s the kind of mother she wants to be. Heather says, and she will be, someday soon. Remember what she said. Right now, Esme’s just got to bide her time. Esme gets up and says, thank you, Heather… mother, for everything you’ve done for me, but taking it slow doesn’t work for me. I’m out of time. Heather says, whatever she’s thinking of doing, don’t, and Esme walks out. Heather gets up and calls after her, saying, don’t do it. She’s about to follow, but a guard holds her back.

Gregory says, the two of them seem to be in complete agreement about this, so who is he to argue with the bride and groom about what they want on their wedding day. So he’d love to officiate the ceremony. Chase says he’s so glad, and Brook says, he’s made them so happy. Gregory says he does have one request though, and Brook says, anything. He asks if they could have a back-up officiant just in case, and Chase says, sure, if it would make him feel more comfortable, but they’re not going to need it.

Scotty says he thinks he and Tracy had fun today. He thinks they should do this again real soon. What does she think? She says she’s not saying no, and he asks bartender Jesse for a bottle of their finest champagne. They’re celebrating. He gives Tracy a thumbs up and she smiles.

Lucy asks, what’s gotten into Martin? and he says, what’s gotten into her? After a while, her repeated inattention starts to stick in his throat. She says she’s sorry. He’s right. She’s been very, very distracted. He knows Tracy Quartermaine has made her life a living hell recently. He can’t really blame her for wanting to keep an eye on Tracy. Come on. She promises he’ll have her full, undivided attention. She’ll stop. Please. Just stay. He says, on one condition, and she watches Jesse pour the champagne. She says, anything, and he says, tell him what the hell is going on with her and Scotty.

Carly tells Drew that being hands on at Bobbie’s is so important to her. It’s a part of her mom that she gets to hold onto now that she’s gone. She doesn’t want to let that go. He says he doesn’t want to either. He would never ask her to sacrifice something that means so much to her. He doesn’t know what it is. He guesses seeing her here like this, her as Editor-in-Chief at Crimson could be so incredible, so meaningful to both of them, but they don’t need Crimson for that. They can be that to each other. She says she thinks what they have is special, and he says, she’s right. She says, but they’re talking. Her mom did double duty at the diner and at GH. He says, she’s every bit as capable and hard working as Bobbie was, and Carly says, Bobbie set the bar pretty high, but she hopes she can make her mother proud. He says, she is making her proud, and Carly says she doesn’t know. What if they try this and it doesn’t work, and something has to give? He says, then she decides which job she wants to step away from and he’ll support her no matter what, whatever decision she makes. But he hopes she can take a second and picture how incredible she’d be running Crimson. The more the thinks about it, the more the thinks she’d be amazing. She says, we would be amazing. Let’s do it. Let’s be partners, personally and professionally. He says, deal, and they kiss. She says, they’re going to be spending a lot of time together. Is he sure he’s not going to get sick of her? He says, never, and she says, good answer. They kiss again.

Olivia says she’s not okay with the things Nina did. She caused a lot of pain for the people Olivia cares about most. Call her crazy. She still believes that peace is possible. Nina is suffering a lot of losses right now, but they don’t have to be permanent. She looks at Nina’s photo of Willow and the kids, and says, the best thing for Nina to do right now is to move on, gracefully, for everyone’s sake. She hands Nina the photo, and Nina says, she’s probably right. Olivia leaves, and Nina goes over to the mirror. She says, but if Carly and Drew want a war, they’ve got one.

Drew takes Nina’s nameplate off the desk and gives it to Carly. Carly throws it in the wastebasket and says, under new management.

Tomorrow, TJ asks if Anna thinks his mom is in trouble; Stella tells Marshall, shame on him; Finn tells Elizabeth that he knew this was a bad idea; and Martin wants the whole truth from Lucy.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Natalya texts Jack not to tell anyone she there that she plans on joining them later. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, because they’re stuck, Tumi is under the most pressure. She’s organized an excursion, a theme dinner, and a party. The guests need to feel taken care of even if they’re stuck. The guests deem breakfast excellent, and Tumi calls the provisioner to reserve a pool for a foam pool party. In Tumi’s interview, she says, it’s a test on her. These are difficult guests in a difficult situation. She wants to prove to herself that she’s a great chief stew and she wants to come out a great chief stew. The captain tells the guests to enjoy their foam pool party, and one of the guests whines that they’re not being not challenging, but it looks so nice out. Kyle says, they’re ready to go to Portofino, and asks if Max wants to come. Tumi tells Jack to shoot for nine with dinner, and he says he’s doing a surf and turf. Tumi tells Jessika that the dinner set up is on her and the guests leave. The captain sighs looking at the weather, and in Luka’s interview, he says, this season has been a massive learning curve. The most difficult thing was managing difficult personalities. There’s no one more random than Max. A producer asks how Max challenged him, and Luka says, with f***ing everything.

In Portofino, guest Stephanie complains that she can’t get anything on her phone, and they go shopping. Kyle says, shoes, girls, shoes. Back on the boat, Luka tells Jessika to do the laundry later, and in Jessika’s interview, she says she’s been single for 7 months. She’s not scared to jump back into a relationship, but it will take the right guy. If she and Luka had that conversation and wanted to date, she would consider it. The guests have lunch at a restaurant, and Tumi tries to radio Jessika. In Tumi’s interview, she says she’s like the conductor of an orchestra. She likes to make sure everything is done. She has faith in Jessika, Lily, and Max, but not Lily and Max together. They’re not the most desirable team. She wants to teleport back to the boat. Guests Jeff and Stephanie snipe at each other, and everyone heads for the pool foam party. Max and Lily arrive at the pool with supplies, and they can barely get the stuff there because they’re so inept at carrying it. Jeff and Stephanie continue to argue on the way there, and in her interview, Tumi says, their arguing makes her never want to get married. They’re a marriage contradictive poll. Kyle tells Jessika about the fighting in the van, and dinner is set up, along with the red-carpet photo thing. Lily puts floaties in the pool, but the foam machine isn’t working well. The guests arrive at the beach club, Tumi putting on her tutu for the occasion. In Max’s interview, he says, the pool foam looks like five days old cheesecake. It’s a disaster. No music. No foam. The guests wonder what’s up, and he explains the machine isn’t working. The guests whine.

Guest Erik says, it’s a foamless foam party, and in Luka’s interview, he says, Max might as well have used a bubble wand. Kyle says, it’s going to be the best foam party ever, and Lily serves the guests shots. In Tumi’s interview, she says, disaster is an understatement. She’s the head of the department, so it falls on her. She’s at a loss and feels nothing. On the yacht, Jessika tells Haleigh that the theme is Hollywood glam, and they decorate. Haleigh asks what Jessika is doing during her hiatus, and Jessika says, she and Luka were looking at hotels. She thinks she likes Luka more than she should. She plans to be drunk the entire time. In Kyle’s interview, he says, Max and Lily spent hours organizing the foam party and there’s no foam and no party. He needs to collect his thoughts and reorganize. Lily makes up a racing game with the floaties, then they play chicken in the pool. In the galley, Jack tells Jessika that he’s making a feast for kings, and in Jack’s interview, he says he wants to send the guests out with a bang. He wants them to ask for take home boxes. There’s going to be food everywhere. Kyle tells Max that this machine is the saddest thing and suggests putting in more packets. Foam finally starts pumping out, and the guests all scream. In his interview, Kyle says, look at the instructions. He wonders how Max missed one and two; insert soap, turn on water. He brought the party to number five where it says, enjoy.  In her interview, Tumi says, thank God for Kyle, and Stephanie says, it was a satisfying foam party.

Captain Sandy compliments Jessika on the table décor, and Jessika welcomes the guests back. The captain tells Jessika that she rocked it, and Jessika says, fake it til you make it. In Jessika’s interview, she says, it feels good to have everyone acknowledge her decorating. Her confidence has grown exponentially. A producer asks if she wants to be more of a leader than a follower now, but she says, no. Kyle tells Jessika that it’s been the hardest charter season. One more week and he’d have to check in a psyche ward. Food porn is served, and Stephanie bitches that they live in an apartment. Jeff has no suits and goes to rummage sales. Jack comes out, and the guests applaud, telling him that it was awesome tonight. Natalya texts Luka that she just landed in Genoa, and in Luka’s interview he says he doesn’t know what’s going on Natalya’s boyfriend or her intentions. He has no expectations. He didn’t invite her and he’s going to act like he had no idea she was here. He asks if she’s coming to crew night, and she asks if he wants her to. He says, yeah, and she says, it will be wild.

The captain calls Lara, who says she’s feeling better. She’s ready to come back. Captain Sandy says, they’ll see her after the guests depart. Katie texts Luka to FaceTime her, and in Kyle’s interview, he says he sees Luka texting and smiling, and he’s not texting Jessika. He knows Katie through stew Courtney, and notes Luka is giddy. Not like ha-ha, but ooh lala.

Kyle tells Tumi about Katie, and in Tumi’s interview, she says, it’s exactly what she thought. She tells Kyle, that sh*t is going to come out, and in Kyle’s interview, he says, part of him wants to tell Jessika, but part of him says he’s out. But will he stop gossiping? No. It’s who he is at his core. Max says he and Lily make a great team. Naked friendship. It’s time for the guests to say goodbye, and primary Victor says, they did a fantastic job, even though the weather was out of their control. He thanks them for everything and gives Captain Sandy the tip envelope. They leave, and the captain says, it’s the final countdown. She tells everyone to get in their reds and gather for the tip meeting. Everyone is all excited, and Jack texts Natalya that they just finished. She texts back, shhh, and texts Luka to dress sexy. Lara arrives, and in her interview, she says she’s happy to be reunited with the crew and she’s ready for a last crew night out. They’re going to tear the f***ing city up. Kyle tells Lara about Luka texting Katie, and she asks if it looked like he was flirting. Kyle says, yes, and Lara wonders where it would go after this. Kyle says, nowhere, and Lara says, maybe leave it. Jessika walks in and wonders what they’re talking about. Lara asks why she was outside the door, and she says she heard her name and the majority of what they said. Kyle says he saw Luka smiling at his phone and thought it was her. In Jessika’s interview, she says, what the f***, again? Kyle says she didn’t want to ruin her night, but she says, it’s not ruined. Why would she want to go to Cannes? Luka can go get his d*ck wet somewhere else. If he wants to play games, she’ll play games. The captain radios the crew for their final meeting.

Captain Sandy says, it’s their final time together. They got through the season with almost everyone. It’s been an absolute joy working with them. The final charter was challenging. She praises Tumi’s character, saying even though she was exhausted, she still brought a smile and maintained her composure. That’s leadership. She’s a rock star. Jack’s enthusiasm in the galley is a rarity for a chef, and Luka belongs on the bridge, not the engine room. She tells them all, nice work. The tip is $15K or $1,153 each. The captain says, the total they made for the season was $182K or $14,200 each. They each made almost $15K. Kyle says, holy crap, and in Lara’s interview, she says she’s thinking of the Gucci boots and all the bitches she can take on holiday. Captain Sandy says she’s going to dinner with them, and they all get ready. Natalya texts Luka that he can tell his girlfriend he won’t need her services, and in Jessika’s interview, she says she’s absolutely over it. Tonight is her revenge on Luka.

Wearing a silver jacket with black pants, Captain Sandy joins the crew in the mess, and they leave. Haleigh says, cheers to no drama tonight, and Lara says, welcome to the fun van, bitches. They get to the restaurant, and the captain says, it’s absolutely beautiful. She’s not wrong, and we find out it was a private palace in the 15^th century. Captain Sandy tells them that if she says the f-word, that means she’s pissed, and in Lara’s interview, she says, Captain Sandy is a great mentor. She never had a captain speak that way to her, and it’s changed her career for the better. And it will only get better from now on. Natalya texts Luka that she can’t wait to see him, and Jessika tells him to stop talking to his other girlfriends. She says, Luka is a f***boy, and in Tumi’s interview, she says, it’s one thing to be wasted in front of the captain. It’s another to be wasted in front of one who doesn’t drink. The captain says she has to get back and call her girl. She’ll wake them up at 9… just kidding. She says, it was a pleasure to have dinner with them on their last night and tells them to have fun. Kyle hugs her and she leaves. Haleigh says, now she can take her t*ts out, and Jessika tells Luka that he’s a ho. In Luka’s interview, he says, Jessika is trying to start drama, but he’s not taking the bait. They’re not in a relationship. It’s f***ing ridiculous. Lara says, Jessika is playing the same game Luka is, and Luka says, he’s got back-ups. In his interview, he says he doesn’t know what to do. Natalya is going to show up soon. He has too many things to deal with and he’s more busy on a night out than at work. Kyle tells Max that Natalya is going to be at the club, and Max asks if they’ve talked, but Kyle says, she’s blocked him. In Kyle’s interview, he says, some of them knew Natalya was coming, but no one thought to tell him. He feels betrayed in this moment. He and Lara talk in Afrikaans, and he says he’s not stupid. She says, Natalya told them not to tell anyone, and he says he thought of her as a sister. Kyle goes to the bar, and Tumi joins him. she wonders what just happened, and Kyle tells her that Natalya is coming. His anxiety is sky high. He cries and says his anxiety is pouring through his eyes. Tumi says, she will never be on their level, and Kyle says he was just being him again, and on the final day she reminds him the devil is here. Tumi says, the devil will always be here. They have to learn to navigate around the devil. The crew moves on to the club.

In Kyle’s interview, he says he didn’t want to tell Jessika about Luka. That’s probably why no one told him about Natalya. He doesn’t want to see her tonight. Ugh. Here she comes, in a bra and boring slacks. She hugs Jack and Luka, and Kyle looks sick. I feel sick for him, and in his interview, Kyle says, the Lord is testing him today. Kyle hugs Natalya, and Tumi asks if she wants a drink. In Tumi’s interview, she says, at this point, she doesn’t give a sh*t. The season is done. Get her drunk and get her the hell out of here. Jessika says, if they can, why can’t she, and she chats with a couple of guys, then kisses one. Luka tells Natalya that Jessika is trying to make him jealous and kisses her. In Max’s interview, he says, Luka has power over women. With great power comes great responsibility. He’s losing his respect for Luka. Being an equal opportunity kissing bandit, Jessika comes on to Lara. In Lara’s interview, she says, Jessika is trying to make Luka jealous. She acts like she doesn’t care, but clearly, she does. She’s hurt and that’s why she’s acting that way. Lily falls on the beach and Max laughs. Natalya goes over to Kyle and says, she’s not sleeping. She was up at 4 am and anxious. He says he understands and has something to say to her. He realizes in her getting involved in the conversation with Max (remember when Max wanted to be included in LGBTQIA+?), she was trying to defuse the situation. He took his anger out on her, and what he did was wrong. He’s been through a lot and what he says is from the heart. He’s genuinely sorry, and when she’s ready, he hopes they can be friends. They hug, and I just shake my head. In Kyle’s interview, he says, with his final apology, he’s seeking closure. This is the end for him, and he has a sense of relief. Jessika tells Natalya, bitch, what’s up? Don’t look at her boyfriend. Natalya says, that’s for them to sort out. She’s not getting involved in that sh*t. Jessika runs off, and in Luka’s interview, he says, he wasn’t expecting it to be like that, for Natalya to come in that hot, but he’s glad she did. Haleigh says he needs to be honest with Jessika, and in Jack’s interview, he says, what’s going on with this boat? Lily is pretty messy at this point, and Max tells Jessika that he has no respect for Luka. In Max’s interview, he says he wants to show Jessika that she’s not alone. He kisses her, and Max tells her that she kisses well. Lily is like, what the f***? and Jessika says, sorry, Lil. He’s a good kisser. She runs off.

Max tells Lily, it was for revenge, as Jessika stumbles to her cabin. Luka follows, and Kyle says he’s not involving himself in this sh*t. Luka suggests Jessika get in her cozy clothes. In the hallway, Lily says she’s hurt her leg, and no one cares. Jessika says she’s second place, and Luka says he saw her at the club. How was it? Jessika says, great, and Luka pulls a shirt on her. In Lara’s interview, she says, Jessika still has feelings for Luka. It’s sad to see her throw herself at a guy who doesn’t want her. Lara tells Jessika that she’s 26 and still doing this. She has no respect for herself. Is she okay? Maybe she needs a mental check. In Kyle’s interview, he says, Jessika is aware Luka has multiple women he’s speaking to, but she still wants to be with him. That’s her business. Live her best life. Jessika says she’s not looking for a relationship and goes with Luka to his cabin. Lily tells Max that she hurt her leg, and Jessika tells Luka that he’s a whore. He asks what she is, and she says, she’s just living. Then they get busy. Because they’re both idiots.

In Lily’s interview, she says she woke up with a UDI, an unidentified drinking injury. It’s a great start to the day. Everyone stumbles around, and Tumi bangs some pans, saying, it’s time to wake up. In her interview, Lily says she’s disappointed in Jessika and Max. She doesn’t care. It was a great fling. Fun times… In Tumi’s interview, she says, Lily looks like a bloody trainwreck, and the captain tells everyone, good morning. Rise and shine. Lily says she can’t straighten her leg, and Captain Sandy says, that’s not good. Lily says, it’s fine, but the captain says, no, it’s not, and calls for a doctor. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says, it’s the last day, but a crew member is injured, and she needs to follow protocol. Get her off the boat and to see a doctor. The crew packs, and Jessika wonders if they can get drunk again. She wants to find the boy she kissed. In Luka’s interview, he says he has big regrets. BDL – Bad Decision Luka – came out last night. He’s spotless with work, but the ladies get him in trouble. It never works out. Lily says, f*** her life, and the captain says, Lily is still signed on to the boat, so she has to get her to a doctor. This is her goodbye. In Lily’s interview, she says she wants to live her life with no regrets. Everything you do, you learn from. She could be chief stew. Max says, all good things must come to an end, and tells the captain, goodbye. Everyone says their goodbyes, and Max says he has a helicopter on the sundeck waiting for him. In Max’s interview, he says, freedom, liberty, finally, and sings La Marseillaise, the French national anthem. In Jessika’s interview, she says she learned a big lesson with Luka and needs a lot of time to get over the entire thing. She hopes to never have to relive another f***boy era. Lara says, if she could marry Luka, she would.

Tumi tells Kyle that she loves him so much and asks if he and Natalya have made up. He says he’ll see when he gets off the boat. He goes to the bridge to say goodbye to the captain, and she says, another journey. He sniffles and tells her, only happy tears. He went through a very dark season and can’t thank her enough for the extra chance and opportunity. She’s not only his captain, but a good friend. He respects who she is, and she’s amazing at what she does. They hug, and Captain Sandy says, he’s a good person. In Kyle’s interview, he says, if the captain hadn’t given him a second chance, he has no idea where he would have been going. It was the catapult he needed internally to learn how to control his emotions. He’d be able to navigate being a chief stew now and he’s immensely thankful. All he has to say is, you bitches, goodbye.

Captain Sandy tells Luka that everything about him is a leader, and in Luka’s interview, he says he doesn’t want to say goodbye. He and the captain have built a strong relationship. He started as a deckhand, and she put him in the bosun position. He’s now comfortable going the captain route. Tumi goes to the bridge, and Captain Sandy calls her The Tuminator. She asks how Tumi’s first job as chief stew was, and Tumi says, rough. They laugh, and Tumi says, her whole career has been rough, but that’s how you grow. The captain says, that’s leadership, and in her interview, she says, Tumi came in late, but she turned it around and continued to move forward, an excellent chief stew trait. Tumi says she’s learning to navigate curveballs, and in her interview, she says she needs a vacation ASAP. And a therapist.

In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says she loves being a captain. It’s in her blood. She’ll be a captain until the day they put her in the ground… or set her on fire. She laughs.

And with that, this awful season with these awful people is blessedly over.

👽 Not Luke Skywalker’s Father…

Stop in tomorrow for soap and whatever interesting tidbits the internet coughs up. Until then, stay safe, stay not posting someone else’s picture or info without asking, and stay living your life with no regrets and learning from everything you do.