What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s TV watching)

General Hospital

Robert and Anna are in a Halifax jail without knowing why. Anna is all what would have happened, but Robert is looking on the bright side — he gets to sleep with Anna again.

Ava is sick with some kind of virus. Kiki comes over to babysit. Ava says she knows Kiki is upset about her not allowing Sonny more time with Avery, but she hopes Kiki will adhere to her wishes.

Sonny asks Max if there’s any news about Ava’s shipment. It’s coming in today. His plans are to shut Ava down and bring Avery home. Michael arrives (is he still on this show?).

Carly is at the hospital and runs into Morgan. She says she’s there about Sonny, but Morgan thinks she’s checking up on him.

Jake is sedated in the hospital. What did I miss? Oh, okay, they fill me in by Jason saying that he was hit by a car. Elizabeth flashes back to when Jake was hit with a car by Luke (?).

Sam, still lying in the basement, calls out for Jake to help her.

Kiki tells Ava to just concentrate on getting better. She’s brought a load of supplies like soup and juice. Kiki goes to get Avery ready when Ava gets a text from Paul saying he’s coming over. She texts something back we don’t see.

Michael says it sounded like Sonny was talking about the business when he walked in and Sonny tells him to mind his own business. Michael says that they’ve at least been able to spend more time together with Sonny in the wheelchair staying put. He tells Sonny that Anna is looking for Sabrrrina.

Felicia and Mac show up to spring Anna and Robert. Felicia says they had to go through a lot of red tape. Anna asks if they explained what the blip happened to get them arrested.

Carly says she got the message when Morgan told her to butt out at the warehouse. She said he has a valid point and she’s backing off. Morgan asks if she means it or she’s just being patronizing. She says she means it.

Jason thinks Jake ran away because they realized he was behind the break-ins at the house. Elizabeth says he deserves a happy, safe childhood and she feels responsible for what’s happened. Monica comes in and says the prognosis is good. Monica says there’s the possibility of internal bleeding, so he’s going to need surgery. She says whatever it takes, Jake will be fine.

Sam tries to get up and falls over again. She realizes she has a concussion. She sees her phone nearby, but can’t reach it.

Ava is all dressed up when Paul rings the doorbell. He wants her to go to the gallery and meet Raj’s boss, Dixon. Ava says Sonny is just waiting for her to make a false move. Paul tells her that the police aren’t on to anything and Anna is indisposed.

Felicia tells Anna and Robert that they were mistaken for a wanted couple.

Michael tells Sonny that Anna was investigating Carrrlos and thinks Sabrrrina might be with him. Sonny tells him not to give up hope on Sabrrrina.

Morgan tells Carly he appreciates Carly’s trust. Carly asks about Kiki. Morgan says that she wants him to stay in the friend zone, but did agree to a date. Carly says they bring out both the best and worst in each other and they’ve both been hurt, so he should take it slow.

Jason asks Monica about Danny, who spent the night at her house. Monica says he’s doing great and has a birthday party after school, and will be ready for Sam afterward. So I guess they won’t be figuring out that Sam is in Elizabeth’s basement for a while.

Sam reaches her phone, but it’s smashed.

Kiki arrives at Sonny’s with Avery. We are just flying through the scenes today.

Michael meets Felix at the hospital. Felix has a postcard from Sabrrrina in San Juan. She says she made the right decision in leaving Port Charles. Michael says he’ll fly to San Juan. Felix says he shouldn’t do it. He says she knows about Michael’s change of heart already because she told him.

Robert asks if the couple has accents. Anna thinks the police were possibly looking for Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Mac says no.

Ava says she’s not at the gallery because she wants as little contact as possible with the gun runners. She says she lied to Kiki to get Avery out of the apartment. She says that they used to be just business partners, but they’re involved now, so can’t Paul cut her some slack on the murder charge?

Sonny tells Kiki what she already knows about Ava not wanting to give him more time with Avery. She says what Ava doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She says she doesn’t want Avery’s heart to ache like hers did wishing for a father when she was growing up.

Jason sees Carly at the hospital and tells her about Jake being hit by the car. Elizabeth tells Monica she can’t believe this happened a second time because of her. Monica says parents always blame themselves if something happens to their child. Elizabeth says this is her punishment for what she did to Jason. I’ll vote for that.

Sam’s vision is gettig blurry. She starts crawling accross the floor, trying to make it to…the laundry basket?

Elizabeth says Jake is suffering because she’s selfish. She wanted to keep Jason to herself and ignored everyone else’s pain. Monica says that’s not the case, and the best you can do is to be there for your children since you can’t totally prevent them from being hurt.

Carly asks how the accident happened. Jason tells her Jake ran away and explains how he came to the conclusion that Jake was behind the break-ins. He says he shouldn’t have left Jake with a sitter. Carly says his job as a father is to help Jake get better, not blame himself. Monica comes by and says Jake is waking up.

Elizabeth is telling Jake everything will be fine and she loves him. Jason enters and says he loves him too. Jake asks if they’re mad at him. Jason says he didn’t have to run away because he messed up. Jake says that’s not why he ran away. Elizabeth asks why he did then.

Sam gets to the washing machine and leans against it. She pulls the laundry basket down and puts a towel around herself to get warm.

Kiki suggests she and Morgan go to the zoo and Kelly’s with Avery. He asks if she’s asking him on a date and she says it’s more like she wants to get to know the new Morgan.

Paul says destroying the recording of Ava’s confession doesn’t mean she’s not responsible for killing Connie. Paul says she’s too valuable and he needs her as a front. He wants to keep the recording for leverage. He says as long as she cooperates he won’t need to use it. He says since Avery is out and the shipment is going smoothly, they should make good use of their time. Ava says she might be forced to work with him, but she doesn’t have to sleep with him. She tells Paul it’s over and to get out.

Jake starts to talk, but Elizabeth tells him to rest for now. Monica comes in and says they need to prep Jake for surgery. Elizabeth says when he wakes up, she and Jason will be there. Jake says something about Sam.

Sam sees a space heater across the room and crawls toward it.

Michael asks when Felix talked to Sabrrrina. Felix says he called her after she disappeared. He tells Michael that she does’t want to come back to Port Charles. Michael asks if he’s supposed to just forget about her then. Um, that would be a yes.

Anna says Paul might be behind their arrest.

Paul tells Ava he thought she was having fun with him. She says she was, but because he’s blackmailing her, it’s a turnoff. Paul says he enjoyed it as much as she did, but he knows that she did it because partially because he has her confession on a flash-drive. He says let’s do it one more time and Ava says no. He says he thought they were good together, but it’s her choice. She says she’ll let him know if she changes her mind, but don’t hold his breath.

Sonny suggests he take care of Avery so that Morgan and Kiki can have a real date. They agree, so I’m sure somehow Ava is going to find out.

Paul calls Anna and asks how Robin and Emma are. She says they’re having a wonderful time, last night was memorable, and thanks him. When he asks why she’s thanking him, she says for calling. He says he can’t wait for her to get back and hopes to see lots of pictures.

Oh, this is good. Ava is at the bar ordering champagne when Morgan and Kiki walk in. She sees them and asks where Avery is.

Carly tells Michael she’s sorry about Sabrrrina. She didn’t want him to rush things, but says she knows he would have made a great father.

Everyone tells Jake it’s going to be okay and he’s wheeled to the operating room.
Maybe not so okay for Sam. She gets to the heater and plugs it in. Oops! The plug starts to spark, but she’s already half asleep.

Tomorrow, Ava confronts Kiki and Hayden wants to know what could possibly stop her wedding to Nicholas.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Benny says what the hell and Candace tells him Quincy found her and so did Warlock. Benny asks if War called the police. Candace doesn’t think so and Benny says they have to find Jeffrey. Candace says she has a nosy neighbor, and Benny tells her to go find Jeffrey and he’ll handle things. She says she broke Jeffrey’s phone when he tried to call the cops. Benny tells her to make sure Jeffrey isn’t at the police station. Well, he is, but not for what they think.

The guard comes to get Jeffrey. Veronica tells him not to say anything and David tells him to be careful. Jim thinks he’s going to make a statement against them. Kathryn suggests they all collect themselves and just get through it. Veronica says they wouldn’t be in it in the first place if her son hadn’t ratted them out. Jim makes snide remarks about Veronica and David starts fighting with him. The guards break it up.
DA Jennifer arrives and agrees with Jim that Veronica is a cold bitch and Veronica asks her to come closer. Kathryn says she warned Jennifer. Jennifer asks if she’s the boogie man and Kathryn says worse, she’s a woman, and anything a man can think up, boogie or otherwise, wouldn’t hold a candle to what she can do.

David is taken out and Jim thinks David made a deal. David says he has to look out for Jeffrey first. Veronica wants him to try and get her out first, but he says as long as she’s in there, Jeffrey is safe.

In the hallway, David says that leaving them the newspaper wasn’t a good idea. Jennifer says Veronica made a fool out of him, since he’d been faithful to her, making that assumption since he didn’t sleep with Jennifer. Jennifer says she didn’t get him out, Maggie did, and she intimates that David must be sleeping with her because this is all she thinks about. David wants to see his son. Jennifer says no, he’s safer without seeing David or Veronica. She tries to pump him for information about Maggie, but he’s not talking. She tells him he’s free to go.

David comes out to where Maggie is waiting. He asks her why she would put an article like that in the newspaper. She’s like you’re welcome for getting you out. He asks to borrow her phone. He goes into the hallway to make a call. He calls someone named Mama Rose. He wants to know if anyone put a hit on his wife. She says she can’t talk about those things. He asks if Jim put out a hit and she says not with them. Is there a lot of competition in this area? He thanks her and hangs up.

David asks Maggie why she didn’t get Jim out. She says he’s done and the only thing that matters is David. She says he has the potential to be governor or maybe president. He’s pissed about the photo of Veronica and wants to know who the guy is. She claims she doesn’t know. David wants her to put out a statement that the photo was doctored. Maggie says she won’t do it. He then asks how long Veronica has been having an affair. She says she doesn’t know. David gets his belongings and leaves.

The DA meets with Jeffrey. She tells him he won’t be charged with the DUI or obstruction regarding the car that they were all hiding if he testifies. He asks if Wyatt is being charged, and she says no, he’s getting immunity and wanted the same for Jeffrey. She says if he takes the same deal, he has to testify against his parents and the Cryers. He says he won’t and she says he’ll be charged then and she’ll make sure he goes to jail. He still says no. He says he’ll testify against his mother, but that’s it. Jennifer says it might be difficult because they’re all being tried together. He says he won’t do it, that all he knows is what his mother did, and as far as the others go, it’s only hearsay.

Jeffrey says he loves his mother. Jennifer is perplexed. Jeffrey says she’s evil and tried to blackmail him about the car. He says he’s gay and she hates him for it. Jennifer asks if he’ll testify if she has Veronica’s trial separated. Jeffrey says gladly. She tells him he can go, but to answer his phone. She asks if there’s blood on his shirt and he says he hit a deer and had to move it. She asks what’s going on with his mother and father, that David seems unhappy. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to discuss his parents, but Jennifer says it’s for court. Jeffrey says Veronica treats David terribly. Jennifer then asks about Maggie and if she’s having an affair with David. Jeffrey says he really doesn’t know, but David says he isn’t.

Queen sees one of Quincy’s homies and asks how to track someone on a phone. She gives him a hot laptop and he demonstrates. He brings up the address where Quincy’s phone is. Queen asks him to take her there.

Hanna wakes up Quincy Jr. who says he doesn’t feel well. She feels his forehead and says he’s burning up. He says his stomach doesn’t feel right either, so she tells him to get dressed and she’ll take him to the doctor. She calls for a cab. She asks how much it will be, but she doesn’t have enough. She tells them to send the cab anyway.

Jeffrey goes to Wyatt’s house. Jeffrey says it’s been a long night and his parents are in jail. Wyatt says he knows because he did it. Jeffrey asks why and Wyatt says it was the only way to get away from them. Jeffrey says he’s seen his mother get murderers off and she’s going to figure a way out. Wyatt says he got Jeffrey immunity. Jeffrey says he didn’t want to be a part of this and Jim is going to be pissed when he gets out. Wyatt says Jeffrey should be thanking him, and Jeffrey says he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it wasn’t for him. Good point.

Wyatt ignores that and starts talking about how he’s going to get his inheritance and get out. Jeffrey comes close to telling him what happened with Quincy. Jeffrey says he has to go and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Candace.

Candace asks Jeffrey why he left. Jeffrey says he needed some air. Candace tells him to come with her. Wyatt says something about the police station and Jeffrey getting immunity. Candace thinks he’s talking about Quincy and she says she thought they were in this together. Wyatt asks what she’s talking about and says that he drove the car that hit her brother and Jeffrey and the rest covered for him. Candace asks Jeffrey if he knew this whole time and didn’t say anything to her. She says she can’t believe it. Jeffrey says he can’t believe how screwed up his life has been since he met her. She says he never would have stood up to Veronica or come out of the closet if it wasn’t for her. She says he’s not an innocent bystander, he’s an active participant. I assume she’s alluding to Quincy’s murder, especially since she keeps repeating it and hitting him in the chest and back. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to talk to her again. She says when hes’s done being used by Wyatt, to let her know. Wyatt, who’s been interjecting snarky remarks, asks her what her rate is. She says he doesn’t have enough.

Quincy Jr. tells Hanna he needs his medicine, but he can’t seem to tell her more than that. She says she’s getting him to the hospital. The cab pulls up. They’re halfway there and she tells the cabbie she only has nine dollars. He says he’ll have to let her out. She tells him that Quincy is very sick, but he’s a bastard and makes her get out anyway and takes her nine bucks. I hate him and hope she sues if anything happens to the kid. Although she probably could call 911.

Quincy Jr. passes out when they sit on a bench. Hanna scoops him up and runs.

Next week, Quincy Jr. finally gets to the hospital, David investigates the hit on Veronica and maybe sleeps with Maggie. Maybe.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle says every time she washes her car, it rains. LisaV says maybe it’s karma and she has a bone to pick with Kyle. She didn’t appreciate Kyle not telling her that Faye Resnick was going to be at her party. Faye was seriously rude to Lisa some time back and Kyle says life is too short to hold a grudge. Lisa asks how Kyle would feel if she invited witch Carlton to a party. Lisa and Kyle are celebrating their 33rd and 20th anniversaries (respectively) together and Kyle says she’s invited Faye to that too. I would have been more annoyed that Kyle called that last one a barbecue when it was a dinner party.

Yolanda, who is feeling a lot better since her surgery, and Erika go for a walk to the beach. Erika tells Yolanda about the altercation between Faye and Kathryn. She also tells her about LisaV saying that Mohammed claimed Bella and Anwar don’t have Lyme disease. Yolanda says she wishes people would use their energy more positively. She says she heard from LisaR, who’d been discussing Yolanda’s illness behind her back. Yolanda says who has time to spend three years being ill who really isn’t ill. Um…Brooks Ayers?

LisaV starts checking out Kyle’s phone in the car and Kyle snatches it back. Hmm… what’s in there? They’re checking out the venue for their Moulin Rouge themed party. Lisa thinks it’s kind of small and tells Kyle she knows one person Kyle could de-invite.

LisaR visits Erika, who has the most unbelievable house ever. Erika gives Lisa the tour. Lisa says the house is exquisite and makes LisaV’s house look small. Erika shows her the chapel where her religious art collection is displayed. Lisa says she’s seen a lot of things in her day, but this is a first.

She’s there to ask for advice on how to approach Yolanda. They sit on the patio and have some wine. There’s also a really nice spread of snacks on the table.

Kathryn and husband Donnie go to the gym. She says since she’s nine years older, she doesn’t want to ever show him she’s going downhill, so she does everything he does as far as working out goes. She tells him about the upcoming anniversary party and that Faye has been invited and it didn’t go the way she thought at Kyle’s party when she’d expected a big blowout. She says knowing someone who was brutally murdered is second only to her father’s death in being painful, and that she and her ex-husband were never brought into it until Faye’s book. She says she can barely look at Faye, but she’ll see how it goes.

Erika brings up the talk of Yolanda’s illness at Kyle’s party. LisaR says if Yolanda wasn’t dealing with her illness in such a public way, people wouldn’t be saying anything. She says unfortunately she’s engaged in it and now she feels it’s necessary to tell Yolanda. Erika says Yolanda will be more understanding than Lisa thinks.

Erika is taking a voice lesson. She says performing is so much fun, it doesn’t feel like work. She’s going to be having a show in San Diego, and all of the ladies are coming.

Eileen and Vince are back from Italy. She’s picking out an outfit for the Moulin Rouge party and the feathers from it our going everywhere from her boa. Vince asks how she’s doing after scattering her sister’s ashes and she says she’s hanging in there.

LisaR comes to Yolanda’s house. She says Yolanda isn’t the easiest person for her to talk to and this is very difficult. They sit down for coffee. Lisa tells Yolanda that she engaged in some negative talk about Yolanda and that the pictures she posts of opposite ends of the spectrum — both happy and ill — tend to confuse people. Yolanda asks Lisa why she thinks she posts the pictures, and Lisa says “awareness.” Yolanda says she got it right, and it’s hard when people you know start talking like that behind your back. Lisa apologizes and says she’s really a decent human being. In her individual interview Yolanda says Lisa is deflecting and she needs to deal with her own issues. Lisa says she didn’t know what Munchhausen’s Syndrome was but someone approached her and said maybe that’s what Yolanda has, and she explains the illness. Oddly enough, Yolanda has never heard of it either. How is it that both of these women of the world have never heard of this?

Kyle’s daughter, Portia, is trying a hat on her dog, Khloe (please tell me she’s not named after a Kardashian). Khloe is no Giggy, but she looks pretty cute. Kyle models her party outfit for Mauricio. Ken and LisaV pick them up and their dresses (or whatever you call them) are difficult to deal with in the limo.

Kathryn and Donnie pick up Erika, whose husband is with a client. Erika tells them about how LisaR came over to ask her for advice. At least this group knows what Munchhausen’s is.

The party begins! All of the costumes are fabulous, lots of feathers and sparkles. LisaR says if Harry (who is also not attending) had seen her leave the house that way, he’d just shake his head and wonder what she was up to now. Camille (who I think Andy Cohen is wooing to come back) is also there. Erika uses the c-word in front of Kathryn who tells her she’s too beautiful to talk like that and Erika says she won’t say it in front of her anymore. In her individual interview though, she says she’ll use it every chance she gets. While I don’t think someone’s looks have anything to do with how they should talk, I’m in agreement with Kathryn that it’s a degrading word and it lessens my opinion of Erika. It actually makes me want to call her one.

LisaV says hello to Faye. If there’s anyone on this show who deserves Erika’s favorite word, it’s that one. Faye tells Kyle that she thinks it’s all good between her and Lisa, but she needs to rethink that. The ladies discuss LisaR’s visit with Yolanda and Kyle does her famous splits. In her individual interview (where she is sporting some dynamite magenta highlights), LisaV says that must be the secret to Kyle’s happy marriage and that she can barely put her socks on. Ha-ha, Lisa! I’ll bet you’re just fine at putting on your socks.

Kathryn, LisaV and Kyle talk about Faye. Lisa says she was nice to Faye. Kathryn says she doesn’t really know her, but she doesn’t trust her. Kyle defends Faye, but Kathryn says she feels Faye capitalized on a tragedy by writing about it and had no businss involving her. Kyle says it was 21 years ago and it’s a new chapter today. Kyle is annoyed that Kathryn is bad-mouthing Faye at her party, but I think she has good reason for her dislike. Apparently, Faye is bucking for a spot on this show and I don’t like her very much either. There’s an air of superiority about her that’s very annoying.

Kyle tries to complain to LisaV about Kathryn’s remarks. Lisa says she can’t change the way Kathryn feels. Hey, it’s Taylor! Kyle is annoyed that Lisa isn’t being supportive she says the last time she sided with the new girl, it didn’t go very well. We flash back to Brandi slapping Lisa.

Next week, we get to see Erika’s show and LisaV finds out that LisaR told Yolanda what she said about the kids.

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts & recaps on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

The front page of the paper talks about the altercation between Olivia and the mayor over public breastfeeding. Sonny and Epiphany are checking it out. Epiphany asks if Sonny got a new doctor and he tells her she’s enough for him.

Lucas asks Julian if the story in the paper is true. Julian says yes, but Alexis has Olivia’s back. Julian asks if Lucas and Brad have set a wedding date.

Maxie and Dillon are checking out a shoot location. Maxie says Nina wants them to look at The Haunted Star as well, and Dillon brings up Johnny. He tells Maxie she did the right thing by telling Nathan right away. She says just telling a partial truth meant she also told a bunch of little lies and she doesn’t know what to do about that. Hmm…keep your mouth shut? Nathan comes by with some hot chocolate.

A reporter is asking Olivia why she didn’t just breastfeed in a room. She says she has a five-year-old son and she wouldn’t want him to see that. Apparently a lot of people are living in the dark ages in Port Charles. Dante tells Olivia he wishes he’d been here for her, but she says he had his hands full with Johnny. She says she doesn’t know why Johnny would have forced Lulu to help him since he once loved her.

Lulu asks for time alone with Johnny. It makes no sense, but because she’s Dante’s wife and was supposedly an injured party, she gets this privilege. Johnny asks her if she wants to make a run for it.

Lucas says they’re not planning on making it official any time soon. Julian tells him that he and Alexis are going to be married in a few weeks.

Sonny tells Epiphany she knows exactly how to push him. He says he’s done everything she told him and it’s time to take it to the next level. She says she’ll be the judge of that and what is he even talking about? He tells her to watch. He struggles, but finally stands on his own. Epiphany is thrilled and gives him a hug.

Olivia asks how Lulu and Valerie are and Dante says they’re both fine. Olivia says it was lucky Lulu found Valerie and she imagines it brought him and Lulu closer together. He says not so, they’re filing for divorce.

Johnny suggests he and Lulu go to Canada and start over. He says they should have done it a long time ago. He says he looks back and realizes that he made a mistake back then. Lulu says he sacrificed his freedom for her for nothing. She says that Dante figured out that Lulu helped him of her own free will and told her he hates Johnny, but Johnny has integrity which is more than Dante could say for her.

Nathan passes out the hot chocolate. Nathan says for Lulu and Maxie’s sake, he wants to make peace with Dillon. Nathan tells him he’ll need a permit for shooting, and tells him he should go to the station now. Dillon gets the hint that Nathan wants to talk to Maxie alone. When Dillon leaves, Nathan tells Maxie he knows she lied about Johnny.

Maxie says he’s right, she lied about some details, but she was trying to do the right thing and still protect Lulu. Nathan asks if she thinks it’s true that Lulu wasn’t a willing accomplice. When she doesn’t answer, he says he thinks Lulu went along with it too, but she’s his sister and Johnny is in jail, so he’ll leave it alone.

Olivia suggests Dante and Lulu work things out and stop letting it be all about Valerie. Olivia asks why Lulu would suddenly decide she wanted a divorce, and Dante says it’s him that does.

Lulu says she made a gigantic mistake that cost Johnny his freedom and Dante to want a divorce. Johnny says it’s probably for the better, that Dante betrayed her. She says Valerie helped her to see that the trouble with them started before she came along, and that they should have worked out a solution together, and now it’s too late. Johnny asks if there’s anything he can do to help and Lulu says maybe.

Epiphany asks how it happened. Sonny says he had a dream about someone who needed his help and when he woke up he felt focused, strong and hopeful. He says that’s what his people need him to be, and he said it was time to get his legs back. Epiphany says she’s not going to ease up on him and that she’s going to make it harder. Sonny tells her to bring it on. He also asks her not to tell anyone yet. She asks if he wants to hide his recovery because of business reasons.

Lucas is thrilled about Julian’s impending nuptials. He says Alexis has been good for him and he’s glad Julian is out of the mob business. He says he’s glad Julian won’t be a shooting statistic and Julian says he hopes Lucas is right about that.

Olivia thinks Dante is leaving Lulu for Valerie, but he says that’s not the case. She asks why he’s divorcing Lulu and he explains what really happened with Johnny.

Johnny says if it’s in his power, he’ll do it. Lulu thanks him for taking the fall for her. She says if he hadn’t lied, she could be going to prison too, and the thought of being away from Rocco for years would have killed her. She says now she has to figure out what happened to get her to such a low place. She wants her son to be proud of her and she wants that for Johnny too. She says there’s always been a tug of war inside of him between good and evil. He says the bad side won. She says he has a good heart and is capable of incredible generosity and kindness. She begs him not to join a gang in prison and to do something productive to get himself out and become a good guy who no longer has to hide. Lulu says he gave her a second chance and she wants that for him too. He asks if there’s a chance for them to be together too.

Nathan forgives Maxie. He says despite her covering for Lulu, he can trust her. She says she’s not so sure about that.

Epiphany says that it makes sense regarding his business, but what about Carly and the kids? Doesn’t he want to them to know he’s making progress? He says he knows what he’s doing. Epiphany says she does too, and she has patients who aren’t giving her nonsense and leaves.

Julian tells Lucas that some people aren’t willing to let bygones be bygones. He says being a father again, makes him want to stay on the straight and narrow. He asks Lucas to be his best man. Nathan says he’d love to.

Sonny stares at the door in an ominous way, although maybe this is just his thoughtful look. It’s hard to tell.

Nathan asks why he can’t trust Maxie. She says she told Lulu to go big or go home in fighting for her marriage and look what happened. Nathan says she didn’t make Lulu conspire with Johnny. Maxie says if she was in Lulu’s shoes, she would have done the same thing.

Dante says Johnny came back to town on his own, but Lulu put the Valerie plan in motion. He says she didn’t want it to get out of hand like it did, but she wanted Valerie out of the way. Olivia says her intention wasn’t to harm Valerie, but to help her marriage. Dante says she lied and Olivia brings up his own lies. He says one doesn’t cancel the other out and he wants to stay angry about it, proving once again what a moron he is. Olivia says when he’s angry he doesn’t have to feel the pain.

Johnny says he needs something to look forward to when he gets out. Lulu says she’ll always love him, but to take the mess she made for him and make something good for himself and not to change for anyone else. He says their New Year’s Eve kiss was a new and bright start to the year. Time’s up and the officer takes Johnny back to this cell. Orange is not a bad color on him. Lulu sits by herself crying and Dillon walks in.

Julian sees Sonny and asks if they can talk. He says Alexis told him what Sonny had said and he’s not interested in the mob life anymore. He says he’s starting over and he wants to make peace with Sonny. Sonny brings up some past stuff and Julian says they’re equally responsible for the animosity between them, but he’s asking man to man if they can let the past go.

Maxie says she couldn’t make Lulu see how much she had to risk. Nathan says ditto for Dante. Maxie says she’d never want to risk their relationship. Nathan says he doesn’t either and they hug.

Olivia says she’s not happy about it, but she understands and there are no easy answers. She says he’s her son and she’ll always be supportive, but she urges him to take some time before making any big decisions or signing any divorce papers. She leaves and Valerie walks in. Valerie asks how Lulu is. Dante says between Valerie leaving Lulu out of the equation (score one for her) and Johnny not saying anything, Lulu is in the clear. He tells her that they’re splitting up for real.

Dillon apologizes again for revealing Dante and Valerie’s affair. He says he also should have said something when he saw Johnny. Lulu says her problems are of her own making and asks if he’s there for further questioning. He says he’s there for a permit and that he hopes one day she can forgive him and he can really help her. She says he already started.

Sonny asks if Julian wants to be forgiven for putting a hit out on him. Julian says forgetting is more accurate, but he had nothing to do with Sonny getting shot. He says like it or not, their lives are connected. He says he doesn’t want his children to grow up without a father. Sonny says he might have Alexis fooled but they both know once you get in there’s no getting out. I guess mob business is like a roach motel.

Nathan suggests that he and Maxie trade their cold hot chocolate for a warm bed. Woo woo!

Dillon tells Lulu not to be so hard on herself and that everyone makes mistakes. He says they learn from them and try to do better. Lulu starts to cry and they hug.

Valerie says Lulu took her problems out on her, and that she’s not the cause of their problems, but she was a contributor. She wants to move on and says she doesn’t want anything to do with Dante anymore, not in a mean way, but she just can’t. She says good-by.

Julian asks Sonny if he ever wanted to escape and just have a life with his family. Sonny says of course, but he has a past and so does Julian. He says they can’t just wake up one morning and it’s gone, that everything can’t just be wiped away. Julian asks once more for Sonny to forgive him and for them to move on. Sonny totally steals a line from Machete and says maybe God can forgive Julian, but he can’t and he’s going to take Julian down for killing Duke. I don’t particularly like Julian, but Sonny is being an a-hole and had better watch his karma.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian he’s going to pay and Anna is hot on the Sabrrrina/Carrrlos trail.

The Haves and The Have Nots

After Warlock and Candace trip over Quincy’s dead body, Warlock asks her how she thought she could get away with it. He says he doesn’t care about anybody, but Candace is his girl. Her mother used to look after him. He tells her not to say she’s sorry and then asks for money. She says she doesn’t have any. He insists she does and she insists she doesn’t.

Warlock tells her she has a nice place. She says he can have it, but he says no thanks, he just wants money. I don’t know why she’s not telling him why she doesn’t have it. He gets out his gun and tells her she won’t feel anything. She begs him not to shoot her. He shoots.

He shoots past her and says he told her not to move. He says he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and she made him look like a fool. He says she has four million dollars and he wants one and a half. She says okay, but says she doesn’t have it right now. He asks why and she finally tells him it was taken from her. He thinks she’s lying and he pulls off another shot. He says she’s a traitor and a liar and broke the code along with his heart. Quite poetic for a thug.

She tells him about Oscar and how he marked her. Warlock says she’s lying. Candace says she’s not, but she needs a week. He says on the eighth day, her ass is dead. She asks if he’ll help her move Quincy’s body and he says sure. She says the neighbor is watching everything she does. He then asks which favor she wants, to live for seven days or get help with the body. She wisely chooses the former. Warlock says he loves her. She says she loves him too. He wants another favor before he leaves and we’ll just leave it at that.

Wayatt doctors his pee test and gives it to the technician in the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him he can go home and she’ll call with the results. He asks about his parents and she says they’re okay. He asks if they’re getting out soon. She says she’s trying to keep them in until he gets out of the house. She suggests he stay in a hotel. He asks about the Harringtons and Jennifer asks if Jeffrey has a drinking problem since he was arrested for a DUI. Wyatt says no. She tells him she’ll let him know when his trust fund is released and he leaves after calling her an angel in his life. He is so clueless, it’s sad.

After Wyatt leaves, Jennifer’s assistant comes in with the paper. She’s not happy about the front page.

Jennifer asks the desk clerk where the paper came from. Maggie is there and tells Jennifer that David has been sprung. She asks why the judge would release David alone. Maggie says David had nothing to do with it. Jennifer says that David can’t be released. Maggie says if she doesn’t release David immediately, she’ll call the attorney general. Jennifer asks if she’d like to use her phone. Maggie asks how long it will be and Jennifer says as long as it takes.

The guard asks for Kathryn, saying the DA wants to see her. Veronica tells her not to say anything. She says Jennifer will try to entrap her. Kathryn says she’s not stupid. Veronica gripes about her phone call and the guard says they’re working on it.

Mitch and Benny are wrapping up the day at the tow yard. Benny says they cleared $1800. Mitch says if they keep doing well, they’ll need more employees. Benny says he wants Warlock to come in. Mitch says Warlock will bury them. Benny says he doesn’t understand, that Warlock had their backs when he and Candace were younger. His mother took care of Warlock as a child, and Warlock took care of them later financially. Mitch says Warlock doesn’t do anything for nothing.

Mitch says he doesn’t trust Warlock. He asks Benny why Warlock was looking for Candace and that he needs to keep an eye on things. Benny says funny, Warlock said the same thing about Mitch, but he trusts them both. Mitch says he’s going to be watching Warlock.

Kathryn tells the DA she’s represented by counsel and has nothing to say to her. Jennifer says she just wanted to talk to Kathryn and there’s a difference between a conversation and questioning. She says it’s off the books and Kathryn says she doubts it. Jennifer says she knew Kathryn’s father and that if it hadn’t been for his scholarship, she wouldn’t be the DA. Kathryn says he was a good man and helped a lot of people. Jennifer says that she was lucky, but about 45 of her colleagues had to sleep with him for their school money. She says up until now, a class-action suit against his estate was just talked about at parties. Kathryn says she’s trying to blackmail her. Jennifer says she’s trying to tell her to distance herself from Jim. They both talk about how being blindsided has its privileges and I don’t understand it. Kathryn says that a legacy has tentacles. She says a lot of people knew what was going on and that the town of Savannah is worth more than gold. She tells Jennifer that to take on the task she would have to divide air and she’ll wipe out everyone who needs that air to breathe. She says she wants her phone call and wants it now. Jennifer says they’re working on it and sends her back to her cell. Kathryn says maybe Veronica was right and Jennifer is a dumb bitch.

The officer gets Kathryn and Jennifer throws stuff around the room. Foiled! Ha-ha!

The guard tells Veronica to come now. They’re changing cells. Veronica insists on her phone call.  The guard says not right now and handcuffs Veronica. She says she’s taking them one at a time.

The guard deposits Veronica in her new cell. Jim and David are in the next cell and Veronica says it’s a set up. The guard acts ignorant. Veronica tells them not to say anything. Jim gets snarky. They make snide comments back and forth, ending with Jim making a comment about her hair.

Veronica asks David how he is. He says they all need to be quiet and quit giving the DA ammunition. Jim says, oh look, Veronica can take orders after all, and he and Veronica go back and forth again. Jim brings up the picture in the paper of Veronica and Benny. Veronica says she’s still angry at Jim putting his hands on her. Jim says, oh sorry, and David tells them to knock it off. Veronica gets pissed that he’s not defending her. Oh, here comes Jeffrey!

Veronica and David are pretty surprised to see him. David asks what they’re doing there and they ask him what he’s doing there. David asks what the charge was and he tells them a DUI and asks again why they’re there. Veronica asks Jeffrey what’s up with the DUI and Jeffrey says he’s guilty. Veronica says when they get out he’ll regret talking to her the way he is and he says she’ll regret everything she’s ever done to him. He says something about her and Benny and Jim is like, wow. Jeffrey asks if he should tell David or should she. Veronica says she’s having an affair and the picture was in the paper. She tells Jeffrey to go ahead and hurt David. He says she’s the one who hurt David. She says all he wants to do is Wyatt or any other guy. He says he wishes one was right here and he’d do it in her face. I literally lol.

David asks him who it is with Veronica in the picture. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know. Veronica says is he sure? Why isn’t David says maybe he’ll sleep with Maggie after all. Veronica says they’ll be even. He says they’ll be over. Jim asks David if he’s sure he wants him to call it off. Jim asks Jeffrey if he’s still gay. Jim says everyone knows it except his mother and she can’t control him out of it. Veronica says she’s seen what happens what happens when you try to control children – they get raped in prison or kill themselves. I go oooh! out loud. Jim says he knows she had Wyatt raped and David says just like how she got Quincy out of jail. Jim is like, what? David tells Veronica she’s sick. She says Jeffrey is still in love with Wyatt. Jeffrey says he’s going to do all he can to keep her in there and she’s an evil soul who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day – ever.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That was a very intense scene in a small space with no props. I’m exhausted. My mouth was hanging open through the whole thing. Well played, Tyler Perry.

Benny goes to Candace’s house. The neighbor waves from across the street. Candace comes out and says she doesn’t feel good. Benny insists on talking to her and she says let’s talk outside she needs the air. Benny says their mother is mad at him and she’s staying in a hotel and won’t come to his house unless Candace can tell him how she got the money for it. Candace says she’s tired and doesn’t want to do this right now. Benny says she used to tell him the truth. She says he has to go and he pushes his way inside.

He sees Quincy’s body.

Next time, Benny suggests they go to the police and David and Jim have a fistfight in the cell.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Ken and LisaV are looking for a restaurant space and go to a sex shop where Ken has taken a lease. Lisa says that even though she’s a supporter of many lifestyles, some of the stuff is weird even to her. She plays with some pink duck and can’t turn it off. Ken tells her they’re looking at the space, not the merchandise. They bicker about who is going to design it and Lisa says Pump was a huge endeavor that she doesn’t want to do again right now.

Lisa says she thought Ken wanted to wind down, but he says winding down is dying. He suggests Max as manager. Lisa wants to start enjoying life more in 10 years time and isn’t overjoyed with this venture.

Kathryn says she’s from Milwaukee and a Midwesterner through and through. She and her husband talk about a previous vacation and he calls Westminster “Westminister.” They go to a jewelry store. Her husband, Donnie, played in the NFL and invested wisely, so they can afford a lot of cool stuff. The jewelry is in the millions, and he tells her to get what she wants, but remember they’re also renovating a kitchen. She decides the kitchen is more important, but says eventually she’ll get the jewelry.

Kyle calls LisaV. She wants to have a barbeque. Faye is going to be there, but Kyle also likes Kathryn and hopes there isn’t a conflict.

Eileen and family are going to Italy where she’s going to sprinkle her sister’s ashes. Vince plays a joke on her, putting one of the kids in a suitcase. Her sister was a single mom and she helped raise her niece who is like a daughter to her. She will also be coming on the trip.

LisaR is meeting Kathryn for lunch. They’ve known each other for a while. They talk plastic surgery, Kathryn’s old modeling days and how they palled around. They agree to have lunch again.

Kyle meets Faye at a furniture store. Faye is redecorating Kyle’s closet. Kyle says Faye is like a family member. Kyle tells Faye that she invited Kathryn to the barbeque. Faye says she doesn’t want to discuss any O.J. business with anyone. She says she’s never going to get into a conversation about Nicole and the past. I’m shocked when Kyle mentions that it was over 20 years ago. My heart.

Eileen and the gang are in Italy. She and Vince are going over plans for the trip. Eileen says her sister’s ashes are a priority. Her sister hadn’t let anyone know she was terminally ill and it’s still very difficult for Eileen. She feels guilty that they didn’t do anything for her even though it was her decision not to tell them. She says it’s a way of honoring her sister and getting rid of the guilt. She goes to some gorgeous place on the water, says good bye and scatters the ashes. She says that her sister helped raise her since she was 12 years older. I can identify since my sister is 10 years older.

Kyle is getting ready for the barbeque which looks pretty fancy for a barbeque. She’s having it catered because she’s tired of being in the kitchen all the time instead of with her guests. I can identify here too.

Kathryn visits LisaV. She says the house is fabulous, but there’s a lot of swan poopy around. They have tea, and Lisa grills Kathryn on her home life. I love Lisa, but she sure is nosy.

Yolanda arrives at the barbeque and also thinks it’s fancy for a barbeque. Erika says she shows up in barbeque-wear and Kyle is in an evening gown. Kyle also isn’t barbequing any food, so I agree when she says she should stop using that word. Everyone says the same thing when they come in, so I won’t belabor the point.

LisaR is a little uncomfortable with Yolanda because of her questioning Yolanda’s illness. Yolanda isn’t into being negative and ignores any friction between them. Yolanda schools the ladies about toxins in everything. LisaV and Kathryn are the last to arrive. Kathryn says she knew it was inevitable that she run into Faye at some point because she’s close with Kyle. She’s not too happy because Faye portrayed her as a doormat in her book when she’d never met her. She doesn’t strike me as the doormat type. She says she doesn’t want to start a fight, but she’s not going to roll over and play dead either.

Kyle is in the unenviable position of introducing Kathryn and Faye. LisaV says Faye was a bitch to her at her 30^th anniversary and she hasn’t spoken to her since. She wishes she’d gotten a heads up. Kathryn and Yolanda talk about their old modeling days. LisaV and LisaR confer inside at the bar. And here comes Faye.

LisaR brings up the altercation between Faye and LisaV. For what reason, I don’t know. Just because she has no filter I guess. Faye says she has no hard feelings and wants to move on. In her individual interview LisaV says she loves women who have a pop at you and then want to move on. I hear her. LisaV says fine. Yolanda has to jet early and LisaR is glad they didn’t have to talk about anything heavy.

They sit down to lunch and Kyle’s Golden Retriever jumps all over LisaV with his ball in his mouth. Of course Lisa doesn’t mind and everyone is like, awww. Kathryn is seated across from Faye which is not so awww.

They talk about Yolanda and how much better she seems. LisaR starts talking about the confusion with her posting the sick and happy Instagram pics and they get into that conversation again. Erika says Yolanda would be pissed to hear it. LisaR says she intends to discuss it with Yolanda, which we’ve heard a few times now. Stop it, Lisa! Kyle asks about Yolanda’s kids who have Lyme disease. LisaV says that Mohammad clams he doesn’t think they have it, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of all of it. Kyle keeps pumping (no pun intended) LisaV for information. Erika looks more and more annoyed, and finally they move on.

They talk about LisaR posing for Playboy and we flash back to the dinner party from hell and Camille calling Faye “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” Kathryn talks about Faye writing the book and posing for Playboy and having her fifteen minutes. Kathryn says she was in the book and don’t talk about her if you don’t know her. She says she never read it though. Erika says if she was going to confront someone about writing about her, she’d read what they wrote.

Kathryn says she’s been thinking about confronting Faye for 20 years. Suddenly, Erika tells Faye she wants to address the elephant in the room. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Kathryn says she never met Faye before, but she’d be a phony if she didn’t say anything. She associates herself being brought into the O.J. stuff with Faye and says that Faye is the only one who dragged her into it. Faye says she has nothing to say about something that happened over 20 years ago. She says there isn’t much to discuss. Kathryn says she wants to address it. Faye says it was nothing pejorative and asks if Kathryn feels better. Faye says it was an uncomfortable time in all of their lives and it should be discussed in private, if at all. She says that if she offended anyone she’s sorry. Kyle pipes up about what a good girlfriend Faye is. Kathryn says obviously Faye wants to move on and she didn’t get the satisfaction she wanted.

Next time, some weird party where the women are wearing top hats and LisaR finally talks to Yolanda. Faye also seems to be bucking to be a permanent addition.

Recommendation: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce

This is a clever and genuine look at divorced life. A kind of Sex and the City for a slightly older crowd. The characters are diverse and believable, and while the plots are somewhat exaggerated (as with any drama), they’re both touching and fun.

I’m glad Bravo has branched out into some scripted shows. I also love Odd Mom Out. That surprised me since I thought I wouldn’t relate, but there’s someone for everyone to identify with and the show is very New York-ish.

Bravo, Bravo!

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Anna and Robert meet at the MetroCourt for a meal. Seriously, does no one eat at home anymore? They talk about missing Robin, but Anna says she knows Robin made the right choice. She tells Robert she’s concentrating on work now and she’s going to take Paul down.

Olivia sees Ava with Avery. Ava is looking for the Mommy & Me yoga class. Olivia, who is headed for the same class, makes some rude remarks and says she’ll take the service elevator.

Jordan and Dante and looking at speed cameras to see if they can figure out where Valerie is. Andre brings Jordan some coffee. She says she’s sorry she missed their dinner date, but it was because of Valerie’s disappearance. He says his ego is safe then. I love Andre. He’s all kinds of cool.

Maxie runs in and asks Dante if she’s heard from Lulu. She sees the picture of Valerie with Johnny.

Valerie and Lulu apparently did spend the night in the car and survived. They get out and do some jogging moves to get warm. Valerie thanks Lulu for saving her, but then asks how she knew where to go. She asks if Johnny and Lulu set her up.

Johnny has been apprehended. Jordan asks him where Valerie is.

Anna fills Robert in on the chain of DAs before Paul. She questions whether Mayor Lomax should be in office and says it should have been Felicia. I have some vague recollection of Nicholas being involved with the election fix.

The mayor and Paul discuss focusing their efforts on Sonny. Mayor Lomax says Sonny is a Teflon Don who nobody has been able to nail yet. Paul asks if he should back off, but she says no, just be smart. The mayor notices that Anna and Robert are there.

Dante gets Johnny alone and shakes him down about Valerie. Johnny asks why he cares, which hits a nerve. Nathan says Johnny is his collar, so he needs to take him for questioning.

Lulu tells Valerie she saw the fire from the road. Valerie says Johnny made a phone call to someone to bring his bag and the last thing he told her was that someone would find her. Lulu says she sounds paranoid and Valerie says Lulu sounds guilty. She adds that this begins and ends with Dante.

Jordan tells Johnny that if Valerie gets hurt, he’s going to regret it. He says he’s been read his Miranda rights and until his attorney gets there, he’s not talking. On cue, Scotty comes in and Johnny is like, no way.

Ava sees Olivia at the bar and asks if anyone turned in a toy Avery dropped. They did and Avery gets her giraffe back. They talk a little about babies and yoga, which weirds me out since there was such animosity five minutes ago. Ava leaves and Mayor Lomax approaches Olivia about hosting an event at the hotel.

Paul says hello to Robert and asks what brings him back to Port Charles. Robert laughs about Paul becoming DA and Paul says he owes it all to Anna. He says together they’ll eradicate organized crime. He asks Robert if there’s anything he should know in a professional capacity.

Johnny says having Scotty as an attorney is a conflict of interest. Scotty says Johnny was involved with the death of his son. Jordan asks if Johnny can afford his own attorney, and he says he wants a public defender. Jordan says none is available right now, so all he’s got is Scotty. She says either Johnny talks or he’s going into the slammer. Scotty tells him not to answer the first question. Honestly, a real PD would not have him standing in as Johnny’s attorney. I don’t mind suspension of disbelief while watching a show, but sometimes GH stretches it a little too far.

Lulu says she was driving to clear her head. Valerie says she’s lying and there’s no way the fire could have been seen from the road. Valerie has finally put two and two together and realizes she was set up. She says she didn’t know Johnny and he had no reason to kidnap her. Valerie keeps going on and on, asking if Lulu wanted her killed, and Lulu finally lets it slip that she just wanted Valerie away from Dante.

Anna tells Paul that she and Robert have more in common than the WSB, and Robert is here on family business. Paul says he admires that, since he and Tracy can barely have a civil conversation. He says he’d just been commending Anna to the mayor, and hopes to see Robert again.

Olivia and the mayor are going over the event menu. Leo starts fussing and Olivia begins to breastfeed. The mayor freaks out like she’s never seen or heard of such a thing. Really?

Paul isn’t buying that the meeting between Anna and Robert was just quality time between exes. Ava comes to his door and says she has something for him. I’ll bet.

Johnny insists he didn’t contact anyone in Port Charles. Jordan says they’ll interrogate everyone he knows if he doesn’t speak up. He says if that includes Maxie, even though she turned him in. Scotty keeps telling him to shut up, but he says that no one helped voluntarily and he threatened Lulu to get her to help him.

Valerie and Lulu go back and forth. Valerie says Lulu’s marriage was a three-way train wreck: her, Dante and Lulu. She says that what happened with Johnny was way out of line. Lulu says she only wanted her to stay away from Dante. Valerie says she’s so stupid that she didn’t realize what she had and still does. Valerie smacks her and they both start to go at it. Dante suddenly arrives.

Dante asks what’s going on. Valerie says Lulu tried to kill her. When Lulu says Valerie hit her first, Valerie says that she’s not talking about that. Lulu says Valerie is making stuff up, but Dante tells her to shut up. Valerie tells Dante about how Johnny set her up. An officer arrives to deal with the crime scene and Lulu freaks a little because her phone is in there.

Johnny says he told Lulu if she didn’t help him, he’d hurt her family, but he didn’t really mean it. He says he didn’t target Valerie, but they’d run into each other when her car broke down, and he thought it would be a good idea to have a rookie in his pocket and bribed her, but later she relented and he left her in the cabin.

Paul tells Anna that there’s another reason Paul is interested in her, and that Paul has the hots for her. Robert says that’s her way in and a way to bring Paul down.

Paul tells Ava that they weren’t supposed to see each other publicly. She says she thought their next exchange should be made in private and shows him a painting that she invested the proceeds from the gun sale in. She asks if he’d like her to stay and he says suit herself. They kiss.

The mayor says that breastfeeding should be done in private. Olivia says when her baby is hungry, she’s going to feed him. The mayor threatens her with public indecency. The mayor who has never been on the internet or even read a recent newspaper. Olivia tells her that breastfeeding isn’t illegal. The mayor continues on about how breastfeeding in public is indecent, and Olivia suggests that the last time she was half-naked, it was probably the stone age.

Ava and Paul are basking in the afterglow. That was fast.

Anna says they’ll be wearing overcoats in hell before she seduces Paul. Robert says she doesn’t have to do all that, but she could warm up to him a little. Anna says that he’ll get suspicious if she’s suddenly friendly. Robert says Paul isn’t fit to shine her shoes , but he’s an egoist who doesn’t know that. He tells her to worry about Paul and he’ll take care of Carrrlos. He has an expert who might be able to give him some insights as to where Carrrlos and Sabrrrina might be.

Andre and Jordan flirt. He tells her congrats about Johnny, and that he’s going to continue to try and get a third date out of her. She tells him the power jaguar is working.

Lulu and Valerie are at the hospital. Valerie leaves for an examination. Lulu tells Dante she can explain, but he says that’s not possible.

Ava says art, sex and money is the basis for their relationship. Paul wants her to make some inquiries in regard to the next shipment. She asks some questions, but Paul says it’s better if she doesn’t know.

Anna says she feels like this is her last chance to get justice for Duke. The doorbell rings.

The mayor acts like a huge jerk. Olivia wonders why it’s mostly women who have a problem with public breastfeeding. I can hazard a guess as to why men don’t, but the mayor says it’s because women don’t want to have to explain things to their kids, and that Olivia is not only being indecent, she’s annoying a public official.

Dante says he made a huge mistake that destroyed half of them as a couple and now Lulu finished the job. He tells her what Johnny told them and says he might hate Johnny, but at least he has a shred of decency. He goes to check on Valerie. Maxie arrives, and Lulu collapses in her arms, crying.

Tomorrow, Doc is back and Olivia has an emergency.

BTW, I knew I recognized the mayor, who is now a different actress. It’s Shari Belafonte and she looks amazing!

The Haves and the Have Nots

The “dead” Quincy grabs Candace’s ankle. He begs her to call an ambulance and she says no. He tells her to remember he loves her. She says she remembers her own begging for an ambulance when he broke her jaw. She remembers him pimping her out too, and she asks if he really wants her to remember anything. She tells him she’ll never help him and that no one is going to miss him. She says she’s going to sit there and wait for him to die. She’s cold, but I don’t blame her.

The cop (I wish they’d say his name) brings Jeffrey to some isolated place and pats him down. He starts asking Jeffrey questions about Candace. The cop says Candace told him Jeffrey was gay and he can’t stand “queers.” Methinks he’s a closet case. He asks if Jeffrey wants him and Jeffrey says no, but he says he can see it in Jeffrey’s eyes. He says Jeffrey makes him sick and tells him to get back in the car. What that was all about, I have no clue.

Ohhh, wait. He’s getting in the back seat with him. I know what this is about now. He asks Jeffrey what he likes to do with guys. The cop uses the word “fellatio,” which I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use IRL. Just as it’s about to get dicey, the cop gets a radio call asking if he’s picked Jeffrey up and that the DA needs to talk to him. He says he’ll be there in five minutes and orders a tow truck for Quincy’s car.

The cop tells Jeffrey that what Jeffrey was about to offer him was illegal, says he could bring him up on more charges and tells him he’s disgusting. The cop gets back in the front seat and drives to the station.

Quincy continues to beg Candace to help him and says they have a son together. She says he never cared about that before. Quincy says if she doesn’t get an ambulance, he and her son will both die. He says their son needs medicine. Both Candace and I have no idea what he’s talking about and he won’t elaborate unless she gets him some help. Candace tells Quincy his son is better off with him dead.

Quincy says when she finds her son dying to remember she let him die. Candace tells him good-by and to rest in hell. Exit Quincy.

Back in Quincy’s neighborhood, which has the cleanest looking graffiti I’ve ever seen, some guy asks Quincy’s sister (Queen) if she’s seen him. She says no, so the dude suggests she trace his phone. They have a discussion about a job coming up and some money. She says Quincy is going to want his cut. I don’t think Quincy cares about his cut anymore.

Judge Marx comes in to congratulate DA Jennifer on collaring Jim. She wants the judge to sign off on Wyatt’s trust fund. She says if they can’t get him to leave the house, they won’t be able to get him to testify. The judge signs the paper and says they’re rooting for her.

Tony and his girlfriend show up at the tow yard. Benny is on the phone and he’s obviously very busy. Tony tells his girl to answer the phone. Benny asks Tony if he’ll work for him. Tony wants to know how Benny got the tow yard in the first place. Tony says Candace must have hooked him up. He’d run into her and she said she came into some money. Benny asks if he knows how she got it, but Tony says no. Tony says he’s a thug, and Benny says it’s time to go legit.

Enter Mitch. Tony and Mitch start arguing. Benny tells them to chill and says that he needs some help. Mitch wants to know how Benny got the tow yard, since he said he had no money. Benny explains that his sister got it for him. Tony looks seriously puzzled. Benny says however she did it, she paid for it and it’s all on the up and up. Benny says just because it’s bought and paid for doesn’t mean it will pay the bills, and he needs their help. Tony asks where Candace is now.

Hanna calls the front desk. She wants to stay another night, but doesn’t have the cash. She asks if she can do some work for them, but the desk clerk says they have all the help they need. Hanna calls the social worker, who says she’s been trying to get ahold of Hanna. She asks what happened to Hanna’s house. Hanna says there was a fire and she and Quincy Jr. are staying at a hotel. The social worker says that’s not a stable environment and she’ll have to pick him up. Hanna asks if she can wait until Monday evening. She says she’ll give Hanna until 3 on Monday. Geez, I guess they don’t give much leeway.

Quincy Jr. Is awake and says he doesn’t feel good. He says he’s hot and Hanna says he doesn’t seem to have a fever. He asks when they’re going home and says he needs his medicine. Hanna asks what he’s talking about. He says he doesn’t know, but it makes him feel better. Hanna says the hospital didn’t say he needed anything, but she’ll check with them in the morning.

Maggie’s assistant, Landon, has given the story she wanted to the press. She gets a call and sets up an emergency hearing for David. Landon asks what’s up with that, and she says David is being released. Landon says he doesn’t feel good about it, and Maggie says good thing he’s not her then.

The clerk at the police station calls Jennifer and says Jeffrey is coming in. Jennifer says to keep him there. The clerk (Sally) says that won’t be a problem since he just got arrested for a DUI. Jennifer asks Sally to arrange three empty cells together and put Jeffrey in the middle one. After some discussion in which we hear that Sally wouldn’t have her job without Jennifer’s help, Sally says she’ll see what she can do. She also tells Jennifer to check her email. When Jennifer does, she sees the press release. Jennifer tells Sally to get copies of the paper and make sure Jeffrey and the others see it.

Nameless cop brings in Jeffrey. Sally looks nervous as all get out.

Wyatt’s doorbell rings. Pete the drug dealer is at the door and Wyatt asks if he has what Wyatt asked for. He says yes, but where’s the money? Wyatt says he has jewelry and the dealer says he’s not a pawn shop. Wyatt says he has no cash, but Pete says he’ll take a credit card. They take Visa now? Man, I am out of the loop. Wyatt hands over some credit cards and Pete gives him a kit to pass a drug test, along with a bag of heroin. Wow. This is some service. Pete says he’s not giving him everything until he has the cash. Wyatt says he’s getting a $12 million inheritance and asks if Pete wants to be replaced after he gets it. Pete says it’s $80 grand worth and the guy he got it from will kill both of them if he doesn’t get paid, so Wyatt had better come up with the money. Pete says let’s share a hit for old times’ sake.

A newspaper is tossed into Kathryn and Veronica’s cell. Kathryn looks at it first and gives it to Veronica, asking if she had an affair. There’s a picture of her with Benny on the front page, but only Veronica’s face can be seen. Veronica immediately knows Maggie did it to get to David. She tells Kathryn that Maggie told her as much. Kathryn says she gave Maggie the ammunition and asks who it is in the picture with her. Veronica gets testy and then apologizes, but says she can’t talk about it there because the walls have ears. Kathryn asks if she thinks David has seen it and Veronica says he’s probably seeing it right now.

Yep. Jim asks David if Maggie wants him to run for governor instead of him. He says he understand why Maggie would want to separate the two of them, but why would she want to separate David and his wife?

I think Quincy is dead now. I think. There’s a knock at Candace’s door. It’s Tony. He asks to come inside, but she says it’s late and wants to talk outside. He forces his way in and shakes her down about giving the money to Benny. He pushes her down the hallway and the two of them practically trip over Quincy’s body. This should be good.

Next week, Maggie demands David be let out and Veronica claims she was raped.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is opening her pop-up shop in the Hamptons. It’s a very cute store. Clothing and accessories and some books.

Eileen, in the limo with some of the other women, feels like she offended LisaV. Bethenny is the first to arrive at the store, where Kyle says she thinks Bethenny might have offended Erika. Are you getting all this?

Kisses all around. Kyle and Eileen are discussing Erika’s alter-ego. For some reason, they’re all wondering why she’s also a disco queen or whatever, especially since she doesn’t need the money. Um…there are other reasons to be an entertainer. I get so wrapped up in looking at the store merchandise, I don’t know what they said.

It’s Bethenny’s book that’s being sold and she’s doing a signing. An aunt Kyle is close to, who reminds her of her mom, comes and gives her a cool old photo. Lisa arrives. Giggy! Oh, Ken is there too.

LisaR tells Bethenny about a weird exchange she had with Kim last season. She says she was Kim’s worst nightmare because she was like a mirror. By that, I assume she means she was honest with her. Eileen joins the conversation. Kyle and her aunt also discuss Kim. Lisa says she feels like there’s no resolution since she can’t talk about it without bothering Kyle, who isn’t speaking to Kim.

Kyle comes by and Bethenny tells her, in surprisingly diplomatic way, what they were talking about. Kyle says it does keep her up at night, but now it’s time to focus on having fun.

Giggy! Everyone is sitting down to dinner at Kyle’s and she forgot to set a place for Giggy at the table. How dare she? Eileen and LisaV start talking about how Eileen feels she offended Lisa, when all she was doing was explaining how she felt. Ken tries to interject, but backs off when Eileen says she was having a conversation with Lisa. Kyle says Lisa has a way of turning things around and making the person who she should be apologizing to say they’re sorry to her.

LisaV says Erika is getting a good picture of what goes on in listening to the various conversations. Erika says they talk about Brandi a lot and that they’re obsessed with her. I think they’re probably just trying to get over all the bad stuff she did and letting the feelings out that they couldn’t when she was around. LisaR says it was a difficult time with Kim. Kyle says it’s impossible to deal with because her stuff is out there for everyone to see. LisaV says she should figure out a way to protect herself.

LisaR says if Kyle knew how she really felt about Kim, she’d never speak to her again. She says the whole thing affected her greatly.

Erika says she got a text from Yolanda and hopefully, she’ll be coming home the next day. LisaR says that she hopes Yolanda is better but wonders what the blip it is making her sick. Kyle asks what Keeps LisaV up at night and Lisa fudges around and tries to be funny. Kyle says she wonders if Lisa doesn’t want to dig too deep. In her individual interview, Lisa says that there are things in the world that make her cry, but she doesn’t have any personal issues going on right now.

Eileen wonders why LisaV is so guarded. Erika says she thinks Lisa wants to get everyone else’s story but is guarded about her own. Eileen suggests they all tell something about themselves they’ve never told each other before. Eileen starts with saying she’d been in an abusive relationship. She had the crap beat out of her and no one would think someone like her would be dealing with an issue like that. She finally had her nose broken and made the decision not to go back. The ladies give her kudos and hugs. Eileen says she’s an ugly crier. In her individual interview, LisaV doesn’t understand why Eileen can be so open here and not when Lisa was asking her questions.

Kyle says it was an awesome weekend and that since no one had wine thrown at them, it was a 10. Erika says they’re a bunch of tough bitches.

Erika goes on her private plane to pick Yolanda up in Ohio. It looks pretty fancy inside that plane and Erika gets a little snippy with the attendant over a tea bag. On the other hand, since she’s the only one on the plane, what else does the attendant have to do? When Yolanda gets on board, Erika asks how David was, and Yolanda says he was a great nurse. She says the doctor never saw a person with as much leakage as hers. In her individual interview, Yolanda says the implants were pushing on her lungs and she took a deep breath for the first time in a long time. She tells Erika that the worst thing is that a lot of people thought she was crazy and they lacked compassion. She says she feels sorry for people who have no empathy for fellow human beings. In the interviews, Yolanda looks and sounds a million times better. I have no clue why someone didn’t steer her in this direction years ago.

Giggy! Faye Resnick is visiting Kyle. (Giggy isn’t with her, but there was a gratuitous shot before this scene.) Faye designed Kyle’s store and has done other work for Kyle’s family. Now she’s helping Kyle redesign her closet. Faye tells her she should reach out to Kim since she might regret it later. Kyle says she doesn’t know how to help her. Faye says just don’t close the door.

LisaV is hosting an event for the Hero Dog Awards at Pump. Giggy! The girls and more cute dogs, one of which is a Pekingese puppy, join the crowd. Kyle tries to get LisaV to hand over the Peke, but Lisa says no way. I’d hang on to him too. Kathryn, the other of the new BH Wives, arrives. She’s friends with LisaR, so they chat. Kathryn says she was never that ambitious of an actress, but we see pictures from her modeling days and she looks familiar.

Kathryn was married to Marcus Allen who was O.J.’s best friend, and there were rumors Nicole had an affair with him. LisaR brings it up and Eileen says she dated Marcus a few times. Kathryn is married to someone else now, a retired linebacker nine years her junior. LisaV comes up and Kathryn says she’s a huge supporter of Lisa’s charity and that she loves all animals, but especially dogs. LisaV says she likes dogs more than people. Me too.

Kyle wonders if Kathryn, who is sitting at another table, knows Faye. In her individual interview, Kyle says that Faye wrote about Marcus’s affair with Nicole while he was married to Kathryn, although he’s always denied it.

Yikes! All the ladies are fanning themselves and Kyle says it’s 105 degrees. No, no, and just no. Camille Grammer is there too. They start looking for tequila and move on to a bar. Kathryn joins them. She orders a vodka and soda and I wonder if the house vodka is a good brand or she doesn’t care. LisaR asks if Kathryn knew Yolanda back in the day, but Kathryn says she only saw her from afar. She says she was a lazy model.

LisaV arrives last. Eileen talks about how her sister loved Italy and was learning Italian when she passed away. She says she’s going to scatter some of her sister’s ashes in Italy. She hopes it will bring her more closure.

Kyle asks if Kathryn knows Faye, but Kathryn says she never met Faye. Kathryn says she never read Faye’s book, but she knew Faye had misjudged her. She says she didn’t hang out with that group and wasn’t married to Marcus that long.

Next time, Ken takes a lease on a sex shop and Eileen scatters her sister’s ashes. And Kathryn meets Faye. It doesn’t look pretty.