Tag Archives: Little Women LA

Feb18

February 17, 2016 — Big GH & Little LA & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Kiki walks into the warehouse and sees Morgan going at it with Darby. He says it’s not what it looks like. Puh-leeze.

Sonny is having a visit with Avery. Michael and Dante join him. Dante asks Michael about Valentine’s day. Michael says no magic was worked by St. Valentine. Dante says some magic was worked, but he doesn’t think St. Valentine had much to do with it.

Nathan and Maxie are at you-know-where, and she tells him what a great Valentine’s Day she had. She says it was nice staying at the MetroCourt and Nathan adds that it beats the crowd at their apartment. They see Lulu, who’s still wearing the same clothes she had on the day before.

Dante asks Sonny if he knows anything about the gun running.

Anna tells Mac about Susan, but Paul comes by so she starts making up something about a canceled lunch. She asks Paul if she can have the rain-check on the scotch, and if he’d like to go to lunch.

Paul suggests the skip the restaurant and go somewhere else. Raj calls and asks Paul if they’re still on for the 19th. The big boss, Dixon, also wants to meet with Paul and Ava. Raj says something about Morgan being at the wedding when they’re going to make the delivery.

Morgan says he can explain. Kiki says what’s to explain? He’s having sex with Darby in public when he couldn’t do it with her. She asks if Darby is hotter. Maybe, but she’s also pretty stupid because she pops into the conversation saying apparently so and she and Kiki almost fistfight. Kiki tells Morgan she thought she could trust him. He says that he wasn’t doing it to hurt her, but doing it for her.

Dante gives Sonny some information on Dixon and Sonny acts ignorant. He says he has nothing to do with weapons. Dante says that’s not giving him an answer and Sonny says it’s all he’s got. Sonny says he doesn’t want to discuss it in front of Avery and that he gets little enough visitation time. Dante says it wouldn’t surprise him if Ava was involved with the gun running and also wouldn’t surprise him if Sonny was planning on using that to get Avery back. He asks if he’s getting warm.

Lulu joins Nathan and Maxie. Maxie points out that Lulu must have slept in the hotel. Lulu says she did, but Dante went back to the loft. She tells Maxie they did manage to get to step number four in the magazine article and that they’re going to work on things. Maxie says the right amount of meddling helps. Lulu asks how their Valentine’s Day went. Maxie says it was wonderful and Nathan says the privacy was awesome. Lulu gets a clue that it’s crowded with her and Rocco at the apartment.

Lulu says she was so wrapped up in her own problems, it didn’t occur to her that they might want privacy. Maxie and Nathan try to back-peddle, but Lulu says she’s moving out and is going to stay at The Haunted Star in the meantime. Maxie says maybe she should go home to Dante.

Sonny says there’s no proof Ava is involved. Dante says he hopes the time doesn’t come when Sonny regrets not telling him something when he had the chance. Sonny asks about Lulu and Dante says things are better than they were. When he leave,s Sonny tells Avery he’s lying to everyone he loves except her. He says it’s called compromise and it will just be for a little while longer.

Darby says either Morgan is full of crap or using her, but either way, she’s out of there. Kiki says in what world is having sex with Darby for her. Morgan says he needed to prove to himself that he’s still a man. He says he doesn’t care if he disappointed Darby, but if he could do it with her, he could do it with Kiki.

Paul tells Raj to tell Dixon there’s no need to take action about Morgan and he’ll explain everything later. Paul suggests going to Anna’s place for lunch so they can speak freely.

Lulu says she and Dante aren’t ready to move in together again. Maxie says she thought things were better. Lulu says the article was helpful for them to realize the problems they had before Valerie. Maxie asks what’s next and Lulu says moving out. Lulu says Maxie and Nathan seem to be on their way to marriage. Maxie says when Nathan gave her a charm for her bracelet, she freaked when she saw the jewelry box, thinking it was an engagement ring. Lulu tells her instead of focusing on all that can go wrong, focus on what’s good between her and Nathan.

Nathan tells Dante he tried to talk Maxie out of meddling. Dante says he and Lulu were pissed at first, but they talked and things are better. Nathan tells Dante about Lulu wanting to move out.

Kiki tells Morgan she believes him that Darby was just practice. She says it might be practice for him, but to her it’s cheating and he never considers her feelings. He says he’ll put her first from now on and she says they’ve been there before. Kiki sys he can’t blame not being able to keep it in his pants on his bi-polar issues and she never wants to see him again.

Sonny and Michael discuss Avery. Michael says Ava shouldn’t have custody and Sonny says it won’t be much longer.

Anna and Paul are at her place. She offers to make lunch, but he says he just wants her company. He says they have a lot in common. Anna says they’ve both made mistakes with relationships. Paul says he’s way ahead there. Anna says she spoke with Dillon and tells Paul about the photo shoot. He asks what they talked about and Anna says mostly him and how he disappointed Tracy. Anna tells Paul that after Duke died, she fell into a relationship with Sloane.

Sonny tells Michael he always has a plan. He doesn’t want to jinx it by telling Michael the details, but Avery will be home soon. Michael says he’ll help him. Sonny gets all defensive. Morgan comes in and starts talking to Avery while Sonny looks at him like he’s a nut. Morgan goes upstairs to shower and Michael asks if Sonny thinks something is off.

Maxie is working at a table in the MetroCourt and chats with Kiki. They talk about Nina and Maxie says how she kicked Nina’s look up a notch to give her more confidence. Kiki asks if she can so that for her. Maxie asks why she’d want a make-over since she’s gorgeous, and Kiki says because her life is a disaster.

Lulu is at The Haunted Star and consults the couples counseling article. Dante comes by. Dante asks if she’s planning on living there, and says he doesn’t think it’s safe.

Paul says Anna is being too hard on herself. Anna says she realized she’d made a mistake and tried to be friendly, but Sloane disappeared. Paul said he and Tracy weren’t a couple, but he wanted them to be a family with Dillon and blew it. He says he has no one to blame but himself for his failures with his children. Their hands touch over the muffins. Anna’s phone rings. It’s a text from Mac.

Anna says she’ll deal with the call later and gets up to get sugar. Paul grabs her arm and asks what’s up with the text. It says “Call me. I’ve dug up something on Hornsby’s daughter.” Well, this isn’t good.

Maxie tells Kiki that Morgan fooling around with someone else has nothing to do with her. Maxie says people cheat for all kinds of reasons and maybe Morgan is scared of his love for her. Kiki says regardless, she isn’t having any. Maxie starts talking about hiding from love, but she’s really talking about herself.

Lulu tells Dante he’s lost the right to tell her where to live and that it’s perfectly safe. Dante says what about Windemere, and she says she loves her family, but doesn’t want to live with them. Dante says as a cop, he’s telling he it’s not safe there. She asks if he learned nothing from their talk, and he says fair enough. Dante tells her he’s proud of her having her own business. She says she’d never stay there if she thought here was the slightest bit of danger for Rocco. Dante leaves and she goes back to the article.

Raj is in the doorway.

Sonny needs to say good-by to Avery and Michael goes to keep the caseworker at bay while he does. Sonny is pretty cute with this kid, but she’s getting so big, I suspect she’ll be in high school next week. Michael comes back to take Avery to the caseworker. He tells Avery soon she’ll be home for good.

Morgan comes barreling down the stairs and Sonny says they have to talk. He asks Morgan what’s going on and if he’s off his meds.

Paul says that was fast. He says he heard Anna talking about his daughter at the station and that this must have been a set up to get information from him. He says he warned her to back off a long time ago and she should have listened. Anna asks what he’s going to do, kill her?

Morgan says he took his medication. Sonny says don’t lie. He got a call from the warehouse about Morgan and Darby. Morgan tries to blow it off, but Sonny says there are security cameras. Sonny fires him.

Kiki asks Maxie about her bracelet. Maxie says Nathan gave it to her and gave her another charm for Valentine’s Day. Kiki says please don’t tell her that there are still some good men out there, she wants to believe they’re all screw ups. She says Maxie is right that a make-over isn’t going to fix things. Maxie says if only it were that easy.

Dante tells Nathan he has to trust that Lulu knows what she’s doing.

Raj says he’s looking for the manager. Lulu says that’s her and he asks if he can rent the boat for a party tomorrow night. He tells her that he had a place set up for his boss’s birthday party, but it turned out his boss had a beef with the owner. Now he has everything except a location. He says he’ll even cover her people’s salaries even though he doesn’t need to use them, because if he doesn’t pull this off, he’ll get fired. Lulu says they have a deal and he introduces himself as Mr. Roy.

Paul acts offended that Anna would say such a thing. He says he might have bent the law in the past and he’s a bad husband and father, but not a killer. She says tell Sloane that, since he had him killed and substituted his body for Carrrlos’s. Well, there go those beans.

Tomorrow, Hayden says Nicholas’s future is in her hands, Sam tells Nicholas to go to hell and Paul says Anna is off the mark.

Little Women: LA

A few of the ladies are doing some kite flying. Terra tells Elena about how they talked to Briana at the apple picking about getting together with her family. She says Briana doesn’t want to hear the truth. Terra says Briana said she’d think about it, although she doesn’t know if that was just to shut them up.

Elena says she didn’t want to see Jasmine’s face, so she didn’t go. Terra thinks they should just sit down and talk it out. Elena wants everyone to butt out.

Tonya tells them that Kerwin is coming to town and they’re going to give their relationship another try. Elena and Terra point out that Tonya just got off another relationship and Kerwin lives with another woman. Tonya says they’re trying to work things out and she’ll keep everyone apprised.

Briana’s family has never met Matt, but Briana says she’s not ready for that anyway. Briana says Matt is a great father and he does look like he’s good with her daughter. Matt says he’d like to have their own baby. Briana thinks she’s pregnant, but she doesn’t tell him yet. She does tells him she wants to see a doctor though.

Kerwin arrives. Kerwin is Tonya’s baby daddy and they’ve been on again and off again for 15 years. Kerwin says he’s shocked that she finally wants to get back together, and hesitant because Tonya has broken up with him a few times. She says she’s seen the light and is willing to make a commitment.

Tonya’s previous boyfriend is also her business partner, so Kerwin is a little uncomfortable about Tonya still having to see him.

Christy says little person hell is a room full of bar stools. I kind of understand this. I’m not that tall myself and find bar stools intimidating. She’s out with her mom. They talk about Todd being addicted to video games. Christy is afraid it’s affecting his weight as well. Christy says she’s no lightweight, but he’s in the danger zone. Christy says he won’t listen to her. She wants him to consider gastric bypass surgery.

Elena wants a bigger booty. Terra comes with her and is checking out a brochure for some kind of sexual enhancement surgery. I have no idea what she’s talking about and Preston looks like he wants the earth to swallow him up. Elena talks about getting a boob job and Terra points out she’d look more like Jasmine that way. Elena says she’s tired of being compared to Jasmine.

The doctor comes in and goes through the procedure. He tells her he’s going to give her a better butt than a Kardashian. What is up with this big butt thing?

Tonya and Kerwin go on a double date with Elena and Preston. Elena gets all nosy about the sleeping arrangements with Kerwin. Tonya flashes back to another time Elena got in her business and it ended badly. Elena asks about the woman Kerwin lives with. Elena says they need to solve the previous relationships before starting their new one.

Jasmine has silver ombre hair going on and it looks fabulous against the copper and black dress she’s wearing in her individual interview. I can’t take my eyes off of her hair. She says now that Chris is working for her dad, they have more time together. They’re out shopping. She wants another baby, but he wants to wait since they’re not exactly flush right now. Jasmine says there’s never a “right time” for anything, but she’s not going to push it on him. He says he’s not opposed to the idea and their son does need a sibling. He’s not so into it that he feels like buying baby stuff right now though.

Matt asks Briana if she’s upset about something. She says she’s feeling “off.” Briana thought the doctor was going to tell her she was pregnant and was shocked when he didn’t. This also makes her wonder what is wrong. Matt asks if she’d thought she was pregnant. When she says yes, he is totally sympathetic. Briana wonders too, if she’s at the point where she can’t have anymore children.

Matt asks her if she’s afraid she can’t have kids. She says that she’s only 32 and only wants to have children the natural way. She feels if it doesn’t happen naturally, it isn’t meant to be. She thinks maybe she should see a specialist.

Kerwin has to go. Tonya doesn’t want him to leave; she wants him to relocate. He says they still have people in their lives and asks if Ja (her ex) knows what’s happening. She tells him yes, and it’s just a business relationship. Kerwin says he doesn’t want his heart broken again. She asks what their status is and he says they’re good friends. This confuses her and now she’s second guessing things.

Jasmine and Briana meet at this place that has neon green chairs for lunch. Jasmine feels badly about how they left things. Jasmine tells her about Chris being open to having another child and asks how Briana is doing on that front. Briana says not so good, but she’s very late and the doctor told her she’s not pregnant. In her individual interview, Jasmine wonders if it’s a blessing in disguise, considering the other issues Briana is having.

They talk about the girls butting in to Briana’s family problems. Jasmine says she never wants Briana to think she has anything other than her best interests at heart. She says it’s hard for her to understand Briana’s viewpoint because she’s so close to her own family. Briana says they have to agree to disagree.

Terra and Jasmine go rollerblading. Terra thinks she hasn’t given Jasmine a fair shake, so she wants to get to know her better. Jasmine says one of the benefits of being a little person is that when you fall, you don’t have as far to go. They’re doing better than I ever would.

They talk about plastic surgery. Terra isn’t against it for other people, but she’s comfortable with herself as is. Jasmine tells Terra about the lunch with Briana. She says Briana seems numb to any talk of family. Terra says Briana has left their lives and Jasmine doesn’t want that to happen to her. Jasmine says she’s just going to try to be supportive.

Christy is cooking dinner while Todd plays video games. That noise would make me insane, especially if he’s doing this all day. Christy says Todd has gained a lot of weight since they got married and it’s hindering their chances of having a baby. She asks if he’ll put the joystick down and talk to her.

Christy says she knows how badly Todd wants to raise a child. He says she only brings him up in relation to having a kid, and she says it’s because he’s the one who might hinder the adoption. She says it’s affecting everything in their relationship and Todd can barely walk to the car without getting out of breath. She’s afraid he’s going to drop dead on her. I really hadn’t noticed it that much, but in taking a good look at him, he has almost doubled in size.

Christy tells Todd she really thinks he should get gastric bypass surgery, but every time she mentions it, he blows her off. He says he’s afraid of the anesthesia and that surgery is extreme. Christy says the situation is extreme, and she hopes he listens and turns the listening into action. She wants him to commit to it. He says he’ll commit to thinking about it, but has to talk to the doctors first.

He reminds her of the Hawaii retreat and how they had a similar conversation with the Kahuna. Todd thinks they need a third party as a buffer. Christy is like, if that’s what you want to do, but doesn’t sound enthusiastic. She’s not exactly down with marriage counseling.

Next week, Tonya wants Kerwin to take the next step and Briana has a sonogram.

Little Women: Atlanta

I’m irritated before this even starts because these women lack substance and have weird names.

Minnie says she’s been stressed since the altercation with Juicy about Troy. She’s out planning her birthday party and Monie is helping her. Minnie says she wants to start dating. Good luck after any man sees this show. She says she doesn’t trust men because of past experiences. She thinks her father’s absence in her life has something to do with her choices.

Monie says even though the salon gig didn’t work out, Minnie has always been supportive of her and her dreams.

The twins are furniture shopping. Their boyfriends don’t have jobs (why?), and they say it’s tough having to pay for everything. They discuss the boyfriends lack of employment and what a drag it is. They decide to lay down the law.

Minnie meets the Cheeks for lunch. She wants to apologize for being a sh*t stirrer. To her credit, she says she’s sorry for promoting the twins. Emily says she wants to give Minnie another chance, even though she doesn’t fully trust her.

Bri tells them about a “Re-bootcamp” she’d like to go to, where you work on your issues. Minnie says she could use something like that and they could all use some help. I agree, but I don’t know if a weekend retreat is going to do it.

Andrea, the twin with the child, confronts her boyfriend about having to support him and their baby. She wants to know why he hasn’t been looking for a job. He makes fun of what she does and she says it’s money and at least she’s not stripping. She says if he has a problem with it, maybe he should get a job. She tells him to go back to Texas. Seriously, I’d kick this guy’s ass out.

Andrea misses her little boy and wants to go home. Amanda suggests they just call home. They Skype or Facetime or whatever. Andrea tells her mother she’s thinking about going back to Texas. Her mother says she should give it some time. She says she’ll see if she can arrange to come and visit.

The Cheeks and Minnie go to the “Re-bootcamp.” The theme for the day is find your voice and keep your man. Sounds like a Cosmopolitan article. They each talk about the main problem in their relationships. They do one of those ridiculous exercises like on Marriage Bootcamp. Then they have to look in a mirror while Pastor Calvin verbalizes their issues. And then they talk about feelings. The ultimate goal is to raise them above their circumstances.

The twins’ parents arrive with baby Andre. The twins give Andre toys that are way above his toddler age range and I’m concerned that he’s going to choke on small parts. Their dad asks how things are going with the boyfriends. The twins say there’s a lot of arguing and there’s no talking. Their mother says if the guy doesn’t respect you, you need to move on. She says she can only give so much advice long distance. Their dad says the boyfriends should be put on a bus and I second that.

One of the main issues at the retreat is not being good enough. The girls talk about past relationships. The pastor says little might be their stature, but not their worth. They burn the papers with the issues on them. Nothing has been a huge surprise here.

The twins, their boyfriends and parents go out for dinner. Their mother isn’t happy about the guys not having jobs. She also asks the twins about their jobs twerking and asks if it’s all they do. I laugh because I’m typing something that stupid sounding. You can’t twerk forever.

When Andre takes a nap and the guys are gone, the twins’ dad asks what’s up with the jobless boyfriend thing. They tell him they feel somewhat taken advantage of. Ya think? What do these guys even do all day? One of them asks how their parents felt in finding out they were little people. Their dad tells them it was a relief to just find out they were healthy. All parties agree that their parents have been over-protective.

Monie has to tell her boyfriend she got fired. Morlen says now he’ll have to pay for household expenses and her personal stuff. She says he’s supposed to be supportive. He says she needs to get her act together. He says he’s lost his appetite and leaves the table.

The twins parents are leaving. Their mom tells them to be strong and everything will get better.

Minnie is going with Monie to her first voice-over class. Minnie tells her about the bootcamp. She feels that she’s changed and communicates better. The class reminds me of Standard American Speech in acting school.

The Cheeks are meeting Juicy for lunch. Emily thinks Juicy probably heard about Minnie’s birthday party and wants to stir things up. Emily tells her about her pregnancy and how the twins wanted her to prove she was with child.

Emily mentions Minnie’s birthday and Juicy wonders what it will take for Minnie to admit that Troy was never involved with her. Emily is under the impression that Juicy is going to crash Minnie’s party.

Minnie is the birthday queen in a tiara and sash. They’re at some bar that’s about as empty as an eighth grade dance. They do some drinking and dancing and a cake with sparklers happens, but in comes Juicy. Silence falls. She sits down like she was invited. Minnie says she was the last person she thought she’d see.

Juicy says she came to apologize since she knew Minnie couldn’t take the high road. Monie isn’t liking that and she and Juicy get into it. Monie gets up. Minnie isn’t happy about the drama on her birthday and asks Monie to stop. She doesn’t though and she and Juicy go at it again. Juicy says she’s the queen of Atlanta and Monie throws a drink in her face. Monie struts around and Minnie is twice as unhappy now.

Monie sgets in Minnie’s face and tells her she doesn’t need to always be nice. Minnie says it’s her birthday and she didn’t want drama and pettiness. Monie storms off. Minnie is beyond pissed.

Next week, the twins have a driving lesson, Minnie and Monie have a confrontation, and the Cheeks and twins have a piece of each other.

Feb11

February 10, 2016 — GH & Twice the Little Women

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts and recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nicholas and Hayden return from Vegas. Spencer has left a welcome home card saying, told you so.

Nina is looking for Maxie, but she’s at the photo shoot. Olivia, Dillon and Maxie are looking over the proofs when Julian walks in.

Tracy is checking financials to see if there’s anything to add to ELQ’s portfolio. Michael says he thought the lawsuit will be further along by now.

Carly and Sonny talk about being a team. Max interrupts them to talk to Sonny. He says another arms shipment is coming in soon. Sonny says if they do this right, they’ll shut down the gun runners and Ava.

BTW, everyone, with the exception of Nicholas and Hayden, is at the MetroCourt. Was there ever any doubt of that?

Hayden, Nicholas and Laura have a celebration toast. Laura wishes them many happy years together. Hayden thanks her and gives her a hug.

Nina, who is rocking an amazing suit, gets off the phone with Maxie and tells Nathan the shoot went well. He tells her he’s moved in with Maxie.

Maxie tells Julian that Olivia and Leo nailed their pictures. Maxie says Dillon captured the bond between mother and child. Julian is checking out the pictures and offers to bring the flash-drive to Nina. Olivia wants to go with him. I would too, but for — oh, she’s of the same mind as I am. She wants to make sure he doesn’t destroy the photos.

Alexis joins Tracy and Michael. She says Sam is doing well and Jason is with her. She says Nicholas has filed a motion to dismiss and she anticipates the judge wanting them to settle. Michael says he’s 100% sure he wants to pursue it.

Max asks Sonny if he’s ready for action. Sonny says he’s getting stronger every day and reminds Max not to tell anybody about his progress. Carly interrupts and tells Sonny he has an appointment with his new doctor.

Dillon tells Maxie that even if Julian interferes, he always keeps a back-up. She says that Nina has a solid concept, unlike the fluke of the green issue. She says they’re covering real women in all shapes and sizes, but something’s missing. Dillon says they’re great but they’re all mature.

Nina asks what happened to Nathan’s place at Kelly’s and he says he has no heat and crashed with Maxie and they decided to make it permanent. He says they started out as roommates and it’s come full circle. He says it’s a little crowded, but it seems right. Nina says she feels the same way about Franco and they even talked about having a child.

Alexis says it could be three years before they go to trial. Whoever said the wheels of justice turn slowly wasn’t just whistlin’ Dixie. Michael thinks maybe he should go to Diane because she’s not related to Julian. Alexis says he should do what he wants, but she didn’t approve of Nicholas’s actions and her loyalty is with her grandson. Tracy says that’s good enough for her. Alexis says her goal is to return ELQ to its proper owner.

When she leaves, Michael tells Tracy he still has doubts about Alexis. Tracy says she has more irons in the fire and not to worry.

Hayden gets a text from Tracy. She tells Nicholas she’s needed at the office. He tells her she’s married to the company owner, so she can blow it off. She says if she doesn’t go, she won’t be able to show off her ring. When she leaves, Nicholas thanks Laura for being nice to Hayden, but also says he thinks Laura is holding something back.

Epiphany says she has a good feeling about Sonny’s new doctor, and says they’ve certainly gone through a few of them. Griffin comes in and says he’s ready for his new patient, Michael. Epiphany says no one calls him Michael, and introduces him to Sonny, who she says is usually preceded by his reputation. Griffin is clueless about Sonny’s mob business, so Epiphany says he’s just a difficult patient. Carly asks what brought Griffin there. He says GH has a great reputation and he went to med school with Lucas who told him about the job. Carly says Lucas is her brother. Sonny asks what Griffin is going to do for him.

Laura says Hayden is a virtual stranger and Nicholas doesn’t know what secrets she’s keeping. He says Spencer adores her and Laura says he adored Brit too. So did I. Nicholas says for a wedding gift, Laura can be accepting.

Nina tells Nathan how Franco feels about having their own child and passing on his DNA. She says they discussed other options, but decided to table it for now.

Dillon suggests Maxie pose for the magazine. She objects, but he says her experience put the magazine on the stands and she has exactly what the issue needs to make it pop.

Olivia looks over the pictures with Julian. No surprise he has a criticism about nearly every photo. Olivia asks when he became her boss and asks what’s going on. She says he’s married to someone else, yet he doesn’t want anyone looking at her. At that moment, Alexis enters.

Tracy says she won’t rest until ELQ is back in the family. Michael asks what the plan is, but Tracy says only she needs to know. She sees Hayden come in and tells Michael he can go because they’re just irritating each other. He tells her to be careful and not ruin things.

After he’s gone, Hayden sits down. Tracy asks where Hayden has been and Hayden says Vegas. Tracy says Laura was right and asks if Hayden is married. Yep, she is.

Nathan says if Nina and Franco decide to have kids, the kids will be lucky. He says he knows she would be a wonderful mother, and with her influence, Franco will be a great father. Nina wonders if growing up with Madilyn has scarred her for life. Nathan says he turned out fine, although until Maxie, he didn’t think he’d ever trust anyone again.

Dillon tells Maxie to trust him and do a test shoot. He suggests they give Nina a bonus when they bring the photos back. He takes pictures of Maxie, one of which is her pointing to The Floating Rib sign. Does that place really need more advertising? He takes a lot of photos with Maxie all over the pool table. Why am I not surprised that they eat, live and work here?

Alexis seconds it that Julian is acting like a jealous boyfriend. He says nothing is going on, but he doesn’t want Leo’s mother exposing herself. Alexis says his attitude is not only sexist, but he’s making it sound like he wants to control the women in his life, of which Olivia isn’t one. He tells Alexis she’s the only woman for him.

Tracy admires the ring. She asks when Nicholas is going to fork over ELQ to Hayden. Hayden tells Tracy she had to sign a prenup.

Griffin goes over Sonny’s medical history. He asks about Sonny’s pain level and Sonny says it depends on the PT. Sonny gets cagey when Griffin asks about his progress. He says he has some sensation in his legs, but nothing major. Griffin says that’s still good news.

Carly asks Griffin when Sonny will be able to walk again. He says it’s impossible to predict recovery, but if Sonny continues with his PT, in time he’ll regain the use of his legs. He leaves to double-check something. Griffin sees Epiphany in the hallway and asks about Sonny’s progress.

Sonny wonders what Griffin went to double-check. Sonny tells Carly that just because he seems like a good guy doesn’t mean he’s a good doctor. Griffin returns.

Nina comes to the office where Olivia is still looking at the proofs. She says Julian doesn’t look too happy, but Olivia says that’s because he’s a jerk. Nina says Olivia made her job difficult because she’s so gorgeous.

Alexis says she overreacted because Julian did. They talk about the impending wedding.

Tracy asks if Hayden looked over the prenup and Hayden says she didn’t have time. Tracy says Hayden has thwarted their plan. She says working with her has been a collasal waste of time. Hayden asks Tracy to give her a little more time. Tracy says the only thing she’s accomplished so far is a quickie wedding that she’ll get nothing from when Nicholas divorces her. Hayden says she has something on Nicholas.

Laura says worrying is part of being a parent. She asks how Nicholas would feel if Spencer were in his shoes. She says he wants to make things up to Spencer and give him a mother, and that Hayden is also the only one supporting his ELQ takeover. He tells her about the prenup, but Laura doesn’t think it’s enough to protect him.

Laura says love develops over time, shared experiences and getting to know each other. She tells Nicholas not to assume anything. She says she hopes she’s wrong about Hayden and they have a long, happy life and Nicholas is loved the way he deserves to be. She leaves and Nicholas gets on the laptop and Googles Baxter.

Hayden says the same way Tracy has leverage over her, she has leverage over Nicholas. Tracy says as long as she has the nerve to use it and Hayden says it won’t be a problem. Tracy calls her “Rachel” and says she can make Hayden’s life miserable. She starts to says something about Nicholas and spaces out mid-sentence.

Dillon and Maxie look over the shots. Dillon tells Maxie how gorgeous and fabulous she is. He says she pretends to be shallow, and it diverts people from who she really is. He says the camera has captured her real woman self, just as Nathan walks in.

Nina tells Olivia that the pictures are peaceful and beautiful, and thanks her for being able to portray real women to her readers. She says the have a few real women candidates coming in today. In walks Epiphany.

Griffin wants another round of scans. Carly and Sonny says that’s fine with them. Carly gets a call about a booking conflict at the hotel and has to leave. I’ll bet there’s a lot of booking conflicts, since it’s the only place anyone ever goes. When she’s gone, Griffin tells Sonny he’s a lucky man. Sonny says Carly is his rock. Griffin says the right partner can make all the difference. Then he asks Sonny why he’s lying to Carly.

Tomorrow, Nicholas finds out more about Baxter and Hayden tells Tracy not to mention her father again.

Little Women: Atlanta

Emily and Bri decide to go horseback riding. Emily has been riding horses since she was a tot. She says everyone always tried to put her on a pony, but she’s comfortable with the big guys. Actually, jockeys aren’t that tall. I guess the main problem is the leg proportion. Emily is hoping the good vibes from the housewarming party, where she made her pregnancy announcement, carry over. She’s invited the twins to go riding with them.

Minnie and her mom are getting pedicures. Minnie’s mom suggests the foot bath is like a wading pool to her and I laugh with them. The twins join them. Minnie talks about her altercation with Juicy. The twins ask how she’s going to handle it when they see each other at the club. Minnie says as long as Juicy is cool, she’ll be cool.

They talk about Emily’s announcement. The twins have decided she must be lying and just wants attention. They want to get to the bottom of it. There are many jokes I could make here, but it’s too easy.

Bri and Emily are out shopping. Bri asks Emily what she’s going to do about boyfriend Lontel’s lack of enthusiasm for the pregnancy. Emily says eventually he’ll come around. Bri thinks Lontel should step up or Emily should ditch him. Emily doesn’t want to take advice from someone whose baby daddy is just stringing her along. Maybe I’ll actually catch his name this episode.

I’ve already come to the conclusion that these Atlanta little women are the Lifetime version of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Potomac. Both channels are slumming here. I’d like to know where the NYC little women went.

Monie’s boyfriend, Morlen, is moving in with her. She’s wondering if she can deal with him 24/7 even though she loves him. They talk about her job at the salon and Morlen asks how they’re divying up the bills. She wants him to pay everything. He says they’ll work on it until she gets her voice over career going.

The twins go to Emily’s house with a baby gift. They also want her to prove she’s pregnant. They think she’s lying, but if she is really pregnant, it means more jobs for them. Emily says she thinks she’s around 8 weeks. They ask if she’s still going to be working the clubs. Emily figures they’re trying to steal her turf. She asks if they want to go horseback riding and they’re cool with that, but when they get outside, start talking smack.

Wooda is the name of Bri’s baby daddy. More jokes abound in my head. Bri asks Wooda where the relationship is going. He thinks it’s cool as is, but knows she wants more. She says he basically can see other people, but she can’t. He claims not to like the dudes she hangs out with. Bri says she wants the family thing, and asks if he wants her to start looking around. He says he doesn’t want that, but she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. She wants to keep them together, but he doesn’t think it really matters to son Malik whether they’re actually together or not.

Bri says if Wooda won’t commit, she’s moving on. This means going to the club. How this is different from what she normally does, I’m not sure. Minnie says she’s done with her pseudo boyfriend and is also looking for love.

Some dudes join their table. One of them has six kids. Emily says the club is filled with baby mama drama and you have to weed them out. Dude says he’s kidding. Bri says none of them is her type, but she’s trying to be open. When they leave, Andre, the guy she was dancing with, follows her out and asks for her number. He does seem kind of cute, and would probably treat her better than Shooda Cooda Wooda.

Minnie’s boss, Miss Paula, is ticked because Monie is late and the stations aren’t set up. Minnie tells Monie that Miss Paula is going to evaluate her and she needs to step it up. Monie is shocked that she has to work at work. Miss Paula asks her how she thinks she’s done as well as productivity goes. She says today is the only day she wasn’t on point. Miss Paula asks what she’s passionate about. When Monie tells her, “voice overs,” Miss Paula says she’s in the wrong profession, and if she doesn’t want to be a stylist, she shouldn’t be there. Monie grumbles and Miss Paula says she can leave the salon now. Minnie is pretty embarrassed, although I’m wondering what she told Miss Paula to get Monie the job, since she knew this wasn’t Monie’s career choice.

Minnie tells Monie she needs to take her job seriously. Monie says nobody is going to tell her what to do. That would cancel out most jobs then. Minnie asks why she bothered doing her this favor and Monie says she was trying to prove to Morlen that she could hold down a job. Congrats on making it for a whole week.

Minnie drives the twins to an interview at a club. They talk smack about the Cheeks. Minnie says they work there sometimes, and the twins say that once they horn in, the Cheeks won’t be working as much. I might have to take a shower after this episode.

Club Bugaloo is apparently the hottest club in Atlanta. I’ll take their word for it. The manager tells them the Cheeks work there already, so why should she hire the twins? They say because they’re better. Very eloquent. They climb on to the bar via some swings (I hope this club has insurance) and do some twerking. The manager says she’ll talk to the owner and get back to them.

Bri is getting ready for a date with Andre. She says Wooda acts like he doesn’t care if she goes out, but he does, and since he claims he’s just there for their son, he can stay home and take care of him. Word!

Bri meets Andre. Bri says this is the first date in a while for her and she’s hoping Andre doesn’t just have a fetish. She explains her deal with Wooda. She says she lost her father when she was young and she’s searching for guys to give her what she lost. Pretty astute, although she does seem like the smartest of the bunch.

She and Andre go to a carnival or small amusement park or something. They talk relationships and he’s no dummy for a young guy. Bri says she needs to work on herself before opening up to anyone else. Andre says they should just play it by ear. I think she should go on another date with him.

At the stables, Bri tells Emily about Andre. Emily says no baby mama drama is a plus, but she doesn’t think Bri seems ready yet. Emily tells Bri about the twins selling themselves at Bugaloo and how they were trash talking the Cheeks.

Minnie and the twins show up and the twins are somewhat intimidated by the size of the horses. The way they agreed so readily to riding, I figured they’d gone before. It’s sort of like a pony ride for them and Minnie; a guy leads the horses around a ring with them in the saddles.

Emily is riding like a boss. Of course this leads the twins to thinking she’s not pregnant again. Because you can’t do anything normal when you’re pregnant. I don’t think these two have a lot going on in the smarts department.

After the riding lesson, the girls have a picnic. The twins announce their hiring at Bugaloo. Emily says the promoter called and told her about the twins’ remarks. The twins say the Cheeks do the same thing and Emily says ain’t nobody got time for that. She asks how they found the club and they tell her through Minnie. Emily asks why, out of the billions of clubs, do they have to work at the same place?

This leads the twins to thinking Emily isn’t pregnant again because they can only retain one thought between them. One of them pulls a pregnancy test out of her purse and one of them goes to the porta-potty with Emily. Yep, she’s pregnant, you two idiots. Emily says her doctor cleared her for riding and asks if there are any other questions.

Next week, the twins grow tired of their living arrangements with their boyfriends, the girls go on some kind of retreat, and Monie throws a drink in Juicy’s face.

Little Women: LA

Tonya and Terra are bathing their dogs. Terra tells Tonya about the effort to get Briana back with her family. Terra thinks Briana is being controlled by Matt and has lost her family because of him. Tonya is concerned, but says you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.

Briana has been married to Matt for 7 months now, and says they’re a tight family along with her daughter, Leiana. Briana says she was blindsided by Terra and Christy confronting her at Elena’s launch party. Matt tells her that he could care less about her family after the things they’ve said about him. Matt says they’ll never get an apology from him, but he wants to know what she wants to do. Briana says she doesn’t feel the need to deal with them after what’s been said.

Jasmine approaches her dad about giving Chris a job. Her dad came from Mexico when he was a teenager and built his own business. He tells Jasmine he loves her and not to worry; Chris can work there on the weekends. He seems like a straight-up guy.

Aww, Terra’s cat, Zeus, disappeared. She’s making lost cat flyers with Christy. She also wants to go over the Briana thing. She thought Matt was being over-dramatic and is concerned about Matt not wanting his future child to see her grandparents. Neither one of them trust Matt. Christy says Briana is a different person and looks unhappy. Terra wants to ask Jasmine for advice, since she’s closer to Briana. Christy suggests doing something fun like apple picking.

Tonya is Facetiming with her daughter’s father, Kerwin. They’ve been in an on and off again relationship for years, but she’s been the one who didn’t want commitment. She’s ready to settle down now and asks if there’s a future for them. He says he has a girlfriend and asks about her boyfriend. She says they’re just friends now. She doesn’t want to break up the friendship between her and her ex, but she wants Kerwin to drop his girlfriend completely. Kerwin says they have to talk in person and he’s willing to come out to see her.

Jasmine is making dinner and asks Chris if he’s had any calls from the railroad. He has, but they’re all out of state. She tells him about her dad’s offer of a job. Chris says he doesn’t know how he feels about it. Jasmine says right now he should at least give the restaurant a shot, since she doesn’t really want to move. Chris says he’s willing to check it out.

Tonya is doing target practice with a rifle. Terra is with her and the gun is as big as she is. Bigger actually. The guy brings her something smaller, but it still looks pretty big to me. Terra says she could see it going south as a group event and it’s good they’re going apple picking instead tomorrow.

Tonya tells Terra about Kerwin coming. Terra is concerned it’s just a rebound. Tonya says Kerwin loves her for her and that’s what she wants.

Preston brings red roses home to Elena. She says he’s always been supportive of her ideas. Elena tells him about not being invited to Jasmine’s party and the following confrontation. Elena says she doesn’t trust Jasmine anymore and didn’t invite her to the makeup launch party.

Elena brings up starting a family. Preston asks if she’s ready. She says she’s ready for a baby with her baby, and Preston kisses her. Lots of romantic stuff.

Jasmine needs to organize her closet, so she invites Briana over to see if she wants anything. She also wants the skinny on Elena’s party. Briana says no one talked about Jasmine, but tells her about how Christy and Terra approached her about mending fences with her family. Jasmine says she can’t imagine life without her family and hopes Briana can get back together with hers. Briana says they have two different families. She says hers tossed her out of the house because she was with Matt and have said awful things.

Jasmine says Briana needs a friend to support her right now. Briana says the other girls are judging her and they don’t know her family.

Christy’s parents have just moved in with them and they’re looking for a house with more space. She says it has to be a house that’s little people friendly, but it also has to please her mom. She doesn’t want to hear complaints for the rest of her life. The first house has a lot of stairs and Todd points out that it will be hard to carry a baby up and down. Christy thinks his real concern is his weight though, as she noticed he had a tough time navigating the steps.

On to apple picking! Tonya said her people picked cotton way back when, so she’s switching roles this time around. Ha-ha! Jasmine asks about Elena’s event. Christy talks about approaching Briana and how Matt seemed to be controlling the situation. Tonya says a man shouldn’t put a wedge between her and the family. Jasmine says Briana has been telling her that Matt did want to get them together. Jasmine is concerned about Matt not wanting Briana’s parents to see their future grandchild.

Terra arrives and says Elena can’t make it. Jasmine asks if it has to do with her and Terra says no, but Jasmine isn’t too sure. Briana arrives and Jasmine says it’s from one awkward situation to the next.

The apple lady says the trees are over 100 years old and gives them poles to pick the apples with. Briana says it looks easier than she thought, but it’s not. The poles are really long and probably difficult for an average sized person to maneuver.

There are some donkeys and miniature horses in a pen, and Terra and Jasmine check them out. Terra takes the opportunity to tell Jasmine how she should approach Briana with caution in regard to Matt. Jasmine says she probably has a softer way of dealing with things, but she wants to find out if Matt really said what Terra told her.

After the picking comes the drinking. Terra tells Briana she doesn’t want to pressure her or get in her business, but wants her to consider meeting with her parents. Christy says Matt is the one who doesn’t want to meet with them. Briana says it’s the way her family is going about it that he doesn’t like.

Jasmine tells Briana she’s sorry about what she’s gone through, but maybe Briana should meet with her parents without Matt. Tonya is tired of the pussyfooting around and tells Briana this wasn’t a problem before Matt and she shouldn’t allow a man to put a wedge between her and her family. Briana says that her parents think nothing is ever good enough and the girls say that’s just the way parents are.

Tonya says Matt was dead wrong to say her parents can’t see their future grandchild. She says no man should be allowed that option. She tells Briana Matt has total control over her. Briana says she’s never seen Tonya so upset. Tonya says Briana’s family was there for her before Matt was ever in the picture.

Terra says she knows Briana has a new family now, but she also has her roots. Tonya asks if Briana is going to see her family and Briana says she’ll think about it. Tonya says everyone has said their piece so, moving on.

They don’t want us to know what’s going to happen next week. I wonder if it’s that bad.

Feb4

February 3, 2016 — GH & Lotsa Little Women

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Scotty shows up to Franco’s with cheesesteaks. I love these two together! Scotty says since Franco hasn’t caused any problems or been arrested lately, it’s cause for celebration. Franco says he does’t feel like celebratig bcause of Jake. Scotty congratulates him on caring about a kid rather than abducting one. Ha-ha! Nina comes home.

Kiki asks if Ava had a miracle cure and says avery is fine. ava says she didnt ask how she is but where she is. Kiki says she’s with her father.

Sonny is playing with Avery, who looks pretty darn big all of a sudden. Carly comes in and asks if Ava knows Avery is there. Sonny says what Ava doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Laura is calling Nicholas. She gets voicemail and says she hopes he’s not doig what she thinks he’s doing. Tracy is eavesdropping with a huge smile.

Hayden and Nicholas are in Las Vegas at the Camelot Chapel. They’re going to be the 45,678th wedding there and they’re wearing crowns designed after the Burger King crown. Nicholas says Hayden needs to agree to something before they get married.

Scotty leaves. Nina and Franco are going to have “crazy mind-blowing sex.” Nina says she wishes she could get pregnant.

Carly asks Sonny what he’s going to do when Ava finds out because she will. He says he has a list of things, whatever that means.

Ava asks Kiki if this is a joke. Morgan says it’s no joke and the only reason Ava has custody is because Ava tricked Sonny into threatening her. Kiki asks why Ava faked being sick. Ava asks why Kiki deliberately defied her. Kiki says Sonny is Avery’s father and she needs him, like she needed a father growing up. Ava leaves. Morgan tells Kiki not to worry. Kiki says she likes him so chill and he says its probably the meds.

Laura tells Nicholas to call when he gets the message and not to do anything rash. Tracy comes in looking for Hayden. Laura says she doesn’t know where Hayden is, but if Tracy finds her, she can keep her. Ha-ha! Tracy says Hayden is doing some financial work for her. Laura says she knew Nicholas gave Hayden a job at ELQ, but she didn’t think Hayden actually did anything. Tracy says Hayden is probably full of a lot of surprises.

Arthur, “the wedding purposer,” whose wearing a jester outfit, shows up to give Hayden and Nicholas a ten minute warning. Nicholas apologizes to Hayden that he didn’t talk to her sooner, and gives her a prenup.

Nina says she’d like to have a baby with Franco and says they should try anyway. He says they’ve never really discussed it. Nina says they’re a team and they love each other, and they should consider the possibility of being parents or at least try.

Carly tells Sonny he’s violating the custody agreement. Morgan texts Sonny with a heads up. Carly says I told you so and Sonny says she lives to say that to him. The doorbells rings.

Ava is there in the clutches of one of Sonny’s lackeys. Carly says they’re expecting her. Ava says she’s taking Avery and the only time Sonny will see her from now on is in photos. Sonny tells her not to touch his daughter.

Nicholas says Hayden will get 5 million if the marriage ends. She says, is that all? He says he thinks it’s fair and she says she was kidding. she says is that all he say it fair she was kididng He says nothing kills romance liek legalities. He says he trusts her but his legal team suggested the prenup.

Tracy asks Laura if she seriously thinks Hayden and Nicholas are getting married. Laura says she advised him against it, and now a lying back-stabbing little con-artist is out to take advantage of her son.

Hayden signs the prenup and they’re ready to go in. Arthur tells Hayden to come with him.

Franco is balking at being a parent. Nina tells him he’s almost a parent to Kiki and it would be great to have a child of their own. Franco says let’s stop for a second. Nina asks him if he wants to have a child with her and he says no.

Kiki and Morgan are having coffee outside. All of a sudden, Kiki has a weird look on her face. Morgan asks what’s wrong and she says the more she thinks about her mother, the more she doesn’t trust her.

Sonny says he thought Ava had the flu and she says she’s feeling better. Sonny tells her Avery will be safer with him. Ava asks what he’s talking about and he tells her not to be coy. Ava asks Carly if she talked Kiki into this and Carly says Kiki did it on her own. Ava says she’s glad because now Sonny is going to get even less time. Sonny says parental fitness is in the eye of the beholder. Ava takes Avery and leaves. Carly tells Sonny that Ava is probably calling her lawyer right now. Sonny says let her try; he knows what he’s doing. Sure enough, Ava calls her lawyer as soon as she gets outside.

Franco says he doesn’t want to pass his genes to a child, that the child will become a ticking time bomb. Nina says Franco isn’t who he used to be and he does well with Kiki. Franco tells her about working with Jake and that when he looks at him, he sees something he recognizes. He sees an angry, confused, troubled kid and he can’t imagine bringing a child into the world, looking into its eyes and seeing himself.

Tracy says Nicholas stole ELQ and is now marrying a con-artist, and it must be karma. Laura says she loves Nicholas, but doesn’t love his recent decisions. Tracy asks if she thinks he really loves Hayden and Laura says yes.

Hayden comes out carrying a beautiful bouquet, and is in a gorgeous white dress with black flowers that fits her perfectly. Good job, Arthur! Nicholas tells her that she takes his breath away. He gives her an amazing engagement ring with a huge round cubic zirconia diamond. She says she doesn’t know what to say, and he says the next thing she has to say is “I do.”

Ava meets Scotty at the bar. She tells him about how Kiki dropped Avery off with Sonny. Hmm…Avery is talking now? Scotty asks if Kiki was coerced. She says Kiki did it on her own out of a skewed sense of fairness and she wants Sonny’s visitation obliterated. Scotty tells her that if she pushes it, it will backfire.

Kiki tells Morgan this is a date, not a support group, so she’s dropping the subject of her mother. He tells her she looks cold and gets close to put his scarf on her.

Scotty asks Ava if Kiki was upset that she was called in to babysit under false pretenses. Ava reminds him of attorney/client privilege, and tells him she’s being forced into some business she doesn’t want to do. She says she can’t allow herself to be incriminated. Scotty tells her she should just lay low and should perhaps give Avery to Sonny until everything blows over. Ava says over her dead body. Scotty says let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Carly says she saw how Sonny was looking at Ava and that he’s being very calm. She asks what he has on Ava.

Laura says Nicholas has a very romantic view of love and she knows that Hayden is going to end up hurting him. Tracy says believe it or not, she and Laura have a lot more in common than Luke. Tracy starts yawning and says she’s going home to catch up on some sleep. She asks Laura to tell Hayden she was looking for her.

Justice of the Peace Windsor, comes out in full king regalia. Nicholas offers him $500 for a few extra minutes. He has some vows he wants to read. Hayden says she didn’t prepare anything and he says she didn’t have to. They exchange rings and Windsor marries them at lightening speed. They kiss, confetti is thrown and Windsor is on to the next couple.

Nina tells Franco that she knows he’s not a bad person and neither is she. She says they make each other better and what he did had to do with the brain tumor. He says he’s not ready to make a baby with her. Nina says they can adopt. Franco says that conversation is going to take longer than the time they have, and they’ll talk about it later.

Kiki and Morgan kiss.

Ava tells Avery that Kiki can be a pain in the behind, but she loves her. Avery says, “Purple!” Ava says she’s going to make sure Sonny never harms her.

Sonny tells Carly about Ava doing some business that’s not gallery business. Carly says as long as he knows what he’s doing. Sonny says if the court won’t help, he has other means.

Scotty shows up at Nicholas’s castle. He tells Laura he wants to give her something. He has an invitation from Helena. Laura says she’s dead and I get excited for a second. Scotty says it’s an invite to the reading of the will.

Nicholas and Hayden are all lovey-dovey. Nicolas says he has to go pay Windsor and he leaves. Someone we don’t see says, “Rachel?” to Hayden.

Tomorrow, Lulu tells Dillon they can’t go on like this and Sam is found.

Little Women: Atlanta

Emily tells Bri and her boo about her pregnancy and how her boyfriend, Lontel, couldn’t have cared less. He sounds like a real charmer. Bri’s baby daddy isn’t supportive of Emily’s relationship and says she brought it on herself. What’s up with that guy’s eyebrows?

Minnie is doing Monie’s hair. Minnie says her boyfriend hasn’t been answering her texts. Monie is thinking about a career change as a voice over artist and has quit her office job. Her boyfriend will have to support her in the meantime and she’s hesitant to approach him about it. Minnie offers her a job at the salon, doing shampooing and such.

The twins brought their boyfriends along in the move. They’re the breadwinners and the boyfriends are househusbands. Minnie comes over. She says she didn’t have kids, so she “adopted” the twins. Minnie suggests a housewarming party, but they don’t know what that is, so she has to explain. How stupid and/or sheltered are they? Minnie asks if they’ll invite Bri and Emily. She says Atlanta is really a small town, so if they don’t, word will get out, so they agree.

Emily is going to her first prenatal appointment and Bri is along for support. Dr. Rogers asks her about the previous baby she had. The doctor seems to have a good knowledge of little people. They do an ultrasound. Emily would prefer to have a little baby because they’re cuter and easier to handle, but she says she also knows the health risks.

Dr. Rogers says the baby’s heart rate is normal and shows them the baby on the sono screen. Emily feels badly because Lontel isn’t there when she’s seeing the baby for the first time, and doesn’t know what the future will hold. She’s tired of his behavior and says he’d better show up for the next appointment. Or what? She’s already kicked him out.

Minnie and Bri go shopping for a housewarming gift. Minnie talks about their spa day and how it backfired, although I thought it went pretty well. We flash back to the Cheeks (Bri and Emily) telling her they’d heard she’s not really dating Troy. She says Troy has been MIA and she’s moving on.

Monie tells her boyfriend, Morlin (these all sound like names from Harry Potter), that she quit her job. He’s upset she didn’t confer with him first. She says she has a job at the salon. Morlin gets annoyed, but Monie says it’s not like she’ll be sitting on the couch eating bon-bons. Morlin says she should have come to him first, and says he doesn’t know if their relationship should continue.

Emily’s daughter, Ava, and her father are coming to visit. Ava hadn’t moved with her because she’s still in school. It’s obvious her father doesn’t like Lontel. Emily says at least he’s got a job and kept it. Wow. What an accomplishment. Her dad says he doesn’t think Lontel is ready for kids and it’s hard for a single mother. Emily still thinks it will work out.

It’s Monie’s first day at the salon. She tells Minnie about Morlin’s reaction to her quitting her job. Minnie says she’ll be fine. Minnie says having her at the salon will distract her from her problems with Troy. Minnie tells her how to prep the customer and Monie isn’t thrilled. She hands Monie a broom and she’s not thrilled with that either. Monie says she wasn’t expecting this labor. Geez. Did she expect to be eating bon-bons there?

Emily and Bri are exercising and Bri brings up the housewarming party. Bri thinks they can be friends again, but Emily thinks not. Bri asks if Emily is going to tell them about the pregnancy. Emily says she has no choice. They’ll know sooner or later anyway. Emily brings up Minnie’s relationship with Troy and asks Bri if she thinks it’s a real thing. They both think it’s sketchy.

Morlin tells Monie he wants to talk to her and apologizes for being so against her decision. He thinks it would be a good idea if he moved in. Monie is hesitant, but he says it will be easier for him to cover things with her career change. Otherwise, he has two households to take care of. She says she finds compromise difficult. He says he’s there all the time anyway. Monie says there will be rules and Morlin says they’ll adjust.

The twins are getting ready for their party. Monie and Minnie arrive first. In her individual interview, Emily hopes everyone is on their best behavior. She says she’s got enough drama with Lontel. Everyone immediately wonders why she’s not drinking. Minnie says she and Troy are going their separate ways. In her interview, Emily thinks it’s perfect timing since Juicy just exposed that she didn’t have a real relationship with him. Minnie asks if Bri is going to bring Juicy into their circle. Minnie says she’s a treachorous bitch. Emily says that Juicy practically runs the Atlanta social scene, so Minnie needs to back off.

In her interview, Minnie says she used to be friends with Juicy until she started spreading rumors that she wasn’t really dating Troy. She says the Cheeks claim they’re just doig business with her, but she thinks there’s more going on. Bri and Emily go outside for air. Bri asks Emily when she’s going to tell everyone about the pending baby.

Emily goes back in and says if she’s had an attitude problem lately, it’s probably because she’s pregnant. In their interview, one of the twins says she’s always been a bitch. Minnie says she’s going to leave the cheeks out of her beef with Juicy. Everyone is very supportive, which surprises Emily.

Monie and Minnie get together. Monie says she knows Minnie is putting on a brave face, but she’s bummed out about Troy. Minnie says she feels betrayed, and she had to cut things off with him because he wasn’t giving her the respect she deserves. Minnie wants to meet with Juicy to nip the rumors in the bud. She says she was sad about it at first, but now she’s pissed. Monie wonders why Juicy would make stuff up and says something must have triggered it.

Monie drops Minnie off to meet Juicy at some kind of restaurant. She tells her to keep it gangster. Minnie tells Monie about what the Cheeks said. Juicy says she explained to them how things had changed, that she discovered Minnie was a liar and using her. She says that Minnie wants to be her. In her interview, Minnie says that’s a laugh because Juicy looks like somebody’s grandma. Yeah, somebody’s grandma with magenta hair. Juicy says Minnie went from calling her every day to disappearing totally. Juicy says she knows Troy isn’t Minnie’s boyfriend and she’s just being a stalker. Minnie says she can’t be a stalker when she’s invited. Minnie walks out.

Minnie tells Monie what happened and says Juicy is just jealous. Say that three times real fast. They say screw Juicy and decide to go for drinks.

Next time, the twins don’t think Emily is pregnant and start rumors.

Little Women LA

Elena is getting her tattoos removed and Terra is tagging along. The technician says it’s not a lengthy procedure, but it takes a long time to achieve the end result. Like three years. Elena is having a preview party for her palette and hasn’t invited Jasmine. Terra says since Elena doesn’t have any kids, she didn’t think Elena would react so badly about not being invited to Jasmine’s mom party.

Briana is in the park with Matt. They talk about how Christy fought below the belt when they were at the couples retreat. Briana knows she has to see her since they travel in the same friend circle. Briana wants to plan a proper wedding. She tells Matt all he has to do is show up looking good.

Jasmine treats Tonya to a spa day. Tonya wants her and Elena to get along because she’s friends with both of them. She asks if Jasmine got an invite to Elena’s preview party. That’s a no. Jasmine says that Elena will have to get used to competition in the beauty world and Elena thinks Jasmine is encroaching on her territory because she wants to do an eyelash line. Tonya says once she had a baby, all the superficial baloney faded away. Jasmine says she was made fun of growing up because she was a little person and also something about her hair, which looks okay to me. I guess it’s thin, but no more than mine.

Terra meets Christy for lunch. Terra asks Christy about Briana and says Briana’s sister wanted to talk to her, so she’s invited her to lunch too. Christy doesn’t really want to get involved which is why Terra didn’t tell her beforehand. Terra thinks Christy should hear what Briana’s family has to say.

Briana’s sister Tiana arrives. She tells them she’s met Matt, but her parents haven’t. She thinks he’s a sociopath. Terra calls him Sociomatt. Ha-ha! Tiana says that if Briana hid her marriage for so long, she must be protecting Matt. Terra talks about their own investigation and finding out Matt had domestic violence charges under his belt. Speaking of belting, Tiana tells them that Briana said she didn’t understand why a man couldn’t hit a woman. Christy tells them she was in an abusive relationship and this is making her relive it. Christy feels the need to step in so Briana doesn’t go through what she did.

Terra asks what the family wants to do. Tiana says they want an apology before moving forward. Terra hopes with Christy’s help they can get Briana back with her family. She says she’ll talk to Briana.

The furniture store that Jasmine’s husband, Chris, owned closed and Jasmine has had the full breadwinner pressure. Chris passes a test to be a railroad engineer. He says they’re going to be furloughed, which means he does temp work somewhere else while he waits for a job in the area. The thought of moving to another state is devestating to Jasmine, who also wants another baby. Chris doesn’t want to not be able to afford anything, and wants to wait.

Todd and Christy are going to an adoption agency. They’ve always wanted to adopt even if they had a natural child. They’re doing foster to adoption rather than independent adoption, since someone might reject them for being little people. Their case worker, Jennifer, says they’ll do a home inspection first.

Todd asks if they’re being little people will be a hindrance. Jennifer says if the doctor determines there are limitations, they take it into consideration. She says the most important thing is that they’re safe, stable and loving parents. Jennifer leaves them alone to talk. Christy says this is their last chance to have a family and the last year has been heartbreaking. Todd asks Christy if she has any fears and she’s concerned about his weight and how that might interfere with him caring properly for a baby.

Joe and Terra are house hunting. She says that being little people makes it difficult to maneuver around in a house and it has to be modified. The view in this one is fabulous, but Terra is unhappy with the size. She wants more kids, so the house isn’t big enough. Joe says they should stay put until they get their loan situation together. Terra says that means putting a baby on hold. Joe says she’s correct, and he’s buying condoms tonight. Terra isn’t too happy about having to put off having more kids.

Christy and her mother are out shopping. Christy is also looking for a bigger place because her parents are moving in. Christy tells her mom about the meeting with Tiana. She talks about how Briana has changed and everything points to an abusive relationship. Christy is planning on approaching Briana at Elena’s party.

The palette party is being held in a makeup store. Terra and Christy tell Tonya and Elena about the lunch meeting. Christy’s idea is to throw Briana the reception she wants and invite her family. Tonya says Briana is grown and should take care of her own business, and goes off to get a drink.

Terra is nervous about approaching Briana, and there she is! Terra wants to get it over with asap. Elena thanks everyone for coming and says her palette is very her, a compact girl on the go. Elena is very proud of herelf and she should be. Elena does Briana’s makeup while the other girls talk about Christy’s parents moving in.

Terra and Christy ask to talk to Briana. Terra says she doesn’t want to poke the hornet’s nest again, but if they don’t do it now and Briana finds out elsewhere, she’ll be even more mad. Matt sudeenly appears like a stalker. Christy tells them that Tiana wants to get together with them. Briana asks why her sister didn’t approach her directly. Christy says she tried. Terra asks Matt if he wants to be accepted by Briana’s family. He says that he already has a family and they accepted Briana. He says he’s never seen such evil as Briana’s family has against them and it literally makes him sick. Then he throws up. Not really.

Christy says there are two sides to every story. Terra says it’s still family and their future child’s grandparents. Matt says they’ll never see their grandchild. Terra says she’s screaming inside. Matt says Briana’s family has called her a fetish. In her interview, Briana says it’s like her family thinks she can’t get anyone else. Matt says they’ve gotten texts in the middle of the night for hours, disparaging them. Terra says she tried to do the best thing, but it seems like it’s all for nothing.

Matt says they wanted to meet with Briana’s parents, but they didn’t want anything to do with them. In her interview, Christy says they should have had this conversation without Matt and I agree. Briana claims she’s tried to meet her parents halfway, but she’s throwing in the towel now.

Next time, Chris can only find out-of-state work and Briana feels ganged up on.

Jan28

January 27, 2016 — Port Charles & a Little Atlanta & L.A.

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Anna and Robert arrive in Canada.

Sabrrrina is going stir crazy in the hotel room and tells Carrrlos she’s not staying there another minute.

Morgan starts working at Corrinthos Coffee. Max asks how he’s doing. He says it’s not the job he wanted, but it’s a job. Darby shows up at the warehouse.

Kiki waits on Paul who gives her a huge tip. She asks if he’s giving it to her because of her mother.

Ava tells Carly she may not like it, but Avery is as much a part of Sonny’s family as hers and she wants to do what’s best for Avery.

Julian says he was foolish to think he could have a truce with Sonny. He says Sonny can hold a grudge if he wants, but he’s just going to live his life. Sonny tells him he has one more thing to tell him if he wants to live longer.

Darby tells Morgan he’s all sweaty and worked too hard on his first day. He asks why she’s really there. She says she brought pictures of the party he missed. He looks at her phone and says he really missed something, and she says maybe she can rectify that and kisses him.

Kiki says she assumed because she had seen Paul and Ava together, they were friends. Paul says Ava walked away from a murder charge because a piece of evidence disappeared, and if it ever reappears, he would be the one to have to prosecute, so they can’t be friends. He says they only see each other on a business level and he’s just a generous tipper.

Ava says Sonny will never see more of Avery than he does now. Ava says Carly manipulated Kiki into backing her up. Carly says Kiki made up her own mind and Ava doesn’t have a selfless bone in her body. Ava asks if the positions were reversed, would Sonny allowed her to see Avery? Carly says eventually the positions will be reversed and they’ll do what’s best for Avery. She says Ava sees Avery as a weapon. She says Ava doesn’t care about Avery’s happiness any more than she did with Kiki, but Avery won’t have to put up with it for as long.

Julian says he’s not interested in that life anymore. Sonny tells him he doesn’t buy it. Julian says he’s finally out and Sonny laughs. He says he can’t stop Alexis from marrying him, but he can bide his time.

The hospital commissioner in Halifax says they haven’t heard about anyone seeing Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Anna tells her that Sabrrrina will be seeking medical attention soon, so please let the hospital staff know. Anna tells Robert that she thinks Sabrrrina would have wanted to be checked out after coming there on a freighter.

Sabrrrina says she’s done everything Carrrlos told her to so far, but she’s not putting her child in jeopardy. She says they can’t wait until the last minute to find a doctor and she’s not running any more. She tells him if he wants to continue on, go ahead, she’ll find her way back to Port Charles. She says after losing Gabriel she’s going to do whatever she needs to in order to make sure her baby is safe.

Paul and Ava enter the same elevator. He wants to know what she’s told Kiki about them.

Kiki texts Morgan, who is getting busy in the warehouse with Darby. He stops, telling Darby it’s not a good idea. He says his life is complicated enough right now. She says if he changes his mind, he knows where to find her. Sonny and Carly come in and Darby introduces herself on the way out. They wonder who the blip she is and when Morgan comes out, Carly gets a clue.

Ava says Kiki doesn’t know anything, but she saw them when Paul decided to stupidly give her the briefcase of money in public.  She says she told Kiki he had bought some art. Paul says she questioned his generous tip (how much was it?). He adds he’s recently had a problem with someone. Ava asks who, and he says it doesn’t matter, they’re gone now, and I’m wondering why he even brought it up.

Carrrlos shows Sabrrrina something on the phone, saying look what he did while she was sleeping. She gets super excited, thanks him and puts on her coat.

Anna goes over shooting Carrrlos with Robert. She says she thought she was getting justice for Duke. She says she still wants it and wants Carrrlos to testify against Julian, and put them both in prison.

Morgan says he didn’t invite Darby there, she just showed up. Carly asks what they were doing. He says the aroma of coffee beans took over and they had sex on the floor. Ha-ha! He really said that; I didn’t make that one up. Sonny is like, quit being ridiculous. Morgan says he stopped anything before it happened. Carly says she’s concerned. Morgan says there’s nothing to be concerned about. She starts giving him the meds third degree and he gets pretty pissed. I don’t blame him. At this point, she’s really getting overbearing with that. Sonny says Carly just loves him and wants what’s best for him.

Morgan says he’s obviously bi-polar, but he’s dealing with it. He says he’s trying to be a man about it, but to do that, they need to treat him like an adult and can’t be jumping to the worst conclusion all the time. Both Carly and Sonny say they can do that. Morgan says he wants their support, but ultimately he has to do this on his own. He goes to clean up, and Sonny tells Carly they can’t be the thing Morgan is fighting against and he has to make mistakes on his own. Carly says Morgan is just a kid and she wants to fix it for him.

Julian comes into the bar and tells Kiki about the church wedding he and Alexis are going to have. He says it’s important for them to have family there and asks if she’ll come. She says of course. He says he’s come to realize that family is everything and he wants her, Ava and Avery to share in their joy. He asks how it’s going with her and Ava. Kiki says Ava seemed to actually listen to her, but her mom always manages to disappoint her.

Ava asks what’s up with Paul because he seems “off.” He asks how well she knows Anna. Ava asks if Anna is going to be a problem. He says no, and gets out of the elevator. I dunno about that.

Robert says once they get Carrrlos, it’s the beginning of the end for Paul. Anna says Julian is more of a priority. The commissioner comes in with some information for them, and my mouth falls open when Carrrlos and Sabrrrina walk in the door behind them. I guess he’d made an appointment for her and that’s what was on the phone.

While Anna and Robert are busy with the commissioner, Carrrlos and Sabrrrina back away and out into the hallway. The commissioner says no one has seen them. Anna reminds her to spread the picture around and thanks Robert for helping her.  They do a little Memory Lane stuff.

Ava sees Kiki and asks how it’s going. She says fine and that Julian is waiting for Ava. Ava tells her that she thought about letting Sonny and Carly have extended time with Avery, but she’s not going to do it. She says their animosity makes her not able to trust them. Kiki says the supervised visits have gone well, and Ava says these won’t be supervised. Kiki says she’s disappointed, but respects Ava’s choice.

Ava sits down with Julian. Julian tells her about his conversation with Sonny. Morgan walks in and Julian is like, uh-oh, but Ava says she feels nothing for him anymore, but she doesn’t want him hurting Kiki.

Morgan tells Kiki how his first day at work went, leaving out the Darby part. He says he’s come to a decision.

Carly tells Sonny about her discussion with Ava and how Kiki backed her up. Then she tells him how Ava made it seem like she was going to let Avery visit and then pulled the rug out from under her. That was pretty mean. Sonny says they’ll get Avery back. Carly ask how long it’s going to take. Sonny says they have an airtight case. Carly asks why they’re not hiring a private investigator and Sonny says that could backfire. Carly has an emergency at the hotel and has to leave. Sonny tells her to stay cool like John Travolta.

When she leaves, Sonny practices his standing moves.

Sabrrrina and Carrrlos return to the room and she asks him why they left because he’s said nothing since then. Carrrlos says they can’t go back; he saw someone. She says they need to find another hospital then.

Morgan says when he got Kiki’s text, even though he’d taken his meds, he felt good and like he was thinking clearly. He says she’s not only his friend, but she’s his best friend and that she’s always there for him. He says he wants them to go back to being more than friends.

Julian says Sonny thinks he’s still in the business. He says the past year with Alexis has been the best in his life and whatever Ava is doing, stop doing it, because he thinks she’s somehow tied up in Sonny’s reasoning.

Carly comes in as Sonny is taking a step.

The commissioner says a couple that was supposed to come in missed their apt and it was for prenatal care.

Carrrlos says they have to go, but Sabrrrina says they can’t. The baby is coming.

Tomorrow, Sam accuses Franco of being behind the break-ins, Sonny is still standing and Sabrrrina gets ready to push.

Random Thought

My girls are back! Little Women: LA begins their new season tonight and I’m excited. I’ll be watching the new franchise effort, Little Women: Atlanta, first, since I don’t want to miss Hell’s Kitchen, but I’ll catch the later airing of LA. Do you think Atlanta will have a little Nene?

Little Women: Atlanta

We start with Emily and Bri, best friends, aka Right and Left Cheek, respectively. Don’t ask. Emily has a daughter, Ava, who is of average height. Bri has a son, Malik, and a baby daddy she lives with (but doesn’t have a relationship with – what?) who doesn’t want to commit.

Amanda and Andrea, the tiny twins, are in Atlanta and apparently they’re a big deal. Bri and Emily were friends with them until the twins tried to take over their territory. The girls are concerned that the twins will be at the same club they are tonight.

Hey, it’s Tonya from LA! She’s helping Ms. Juicy to judge a twerking contest. Lots of twerk talk follows.

Ms. Juicy introduces Bri and Emily to Tonya. Minnie, aka Momma Bear, joins them. She’s a hairdresser, so she has all the gossip. Monie is her best client and best friend. Minnie says there’s been drama between her and Ms. Juicy, but she’s there to support her girls.

Bri and Emily tell Ms. Juicy about how the twins were rude to them. There’s discussion about the twins and Ms. Juicy says they must be some bad bitches. Here they come now. Everyone braces for drama.

The twins have moved to Atlanta from Dallas because they heard the club scene was popping. They dance in clubs for big bucks. One of the twins has a little person son that she can’t bring with her for some reason. Probably because she’s busy dancing at clubs and promoting her career.

Monie says Bri and Emily have been trash talking the twins. Ms. Juicy tries to stop everything in its tracks. Good luck with that. Ms. Juicy announces the twerking contest. I’m afraid to look. The twerking commences. The tiny twins are the winners, which pisses off Bri and Emily, who says it isn’t over. Now I’m really scared.

The twins chat outside with Monie and Minnie. They’re proud at how quickly they’ve made good in Atlanta. Emily and Bri join them. They trade some little person insults. Then they start getting into family insults. Emily says her mother is dead and Andrea says she doesn’t give a flying. Minnie says enough and the cheeks say deuces.

The twins hate being away from their family and call home. Their mom misses them too and everyone tears up. They say they didn’t want to leave, but the club opportunities weren’t happening in Texas. Andrea or the other one, whoever has the kid, says she has a lot of medical bills to cover. My sympathies are totally with her there. Andrea says she feels badly about what she said about Emily’s mom.

Bri is chilling with her baby daddy, her son and Emily. She tells baby daddy about the twins. She says she can’t argue with stupid and that Minnie stuck up for the twins. She says little people should stick together and she doesn’t think the twins should be excluded, but Minnie didn’t need to jump ship. She says the twins probably won’t last long in Atlanta.

Minnie says being both little and Black is a tough road. She’s cooking dinner when her mom gets home. Her mom pumps her for information about Minnie’s secret boyfriend, Michael “Pastor” Troy, a rap artist. She’s been dating him for months, but hasn’t said anything. Her mom barrages her with questions and says she’s going to google him. After flattering her, Minnie asks her mom for the car.

Ms. Juicy meets the cheeks for lunch. They fill her in on their altercation with the twins and Emily says Andrea made remarks about her dead mother. Ms. Juicy says the twins shouldn’t get leadership from Minnie because she lies all the time. She says supposedly Pastor Troy has been her boyfriend for eight months, but that’s not the case. She says she knows a rat when she smells one and Minnie is a bear maybe, but she’s no mama. She says she’s not throwing shade, but that’s debatable.

Minnie and Monie go to the sauna, which I guess is like a spa. The twins come in behind them. Minnie has also invited Emily and Bri. This is Minnie’s plan to get everyone together and be kumbaya. Emily is seriously not thrilled, especially when Andrea wants to talk to her.

Andrea apologizes. She says she didn’t know Emily’s mother had died. Emily asks what kind of person says they don’t give a flying. She says her mother died on her 16th birthday. Andrea apologizes again. Emily accepts and says they’re cool. In her individual interview, Emily says they’re cool right now, but eventually all little people are competition. Geez, I thought they all stuck together. It’s both difficult and contrary in little world.

They all reconvene in a room that looks lodgelike. Minnie talks about her boyfriend and Emily says Ms. Juicy said they weren’t really together. Bri says she told them Minnie is really just a fangirl who’s crushing and dreaming.  Minnie is hurt and says Juicy is jealous. Emily is like, well, we’ve never met him and Juicy seemed pretty sure. Minnie says Juicy doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Lontel is Emily’s boyfriend of three years. She tells him her pregnancy test was positive. She says he doesn’t look happy, and he says that’s because he’s not. Emily says they’ve been trying for a while, but he says he doesn’t care and none of this makes sense. He talks about them both cheating on each other. She asks what if it’s a little person. He says he wouldn’t like it, but whatever happens, happens. In her individual interview, Emily says she can’t imagine life without him and I don’t have a clue as to why. He basically tells her that he doesn’t care about her.

Emily cries in the bathroom and then tells Lontel to get out. He doesn’t want to leave and she asks if she has to “call the laws” on him again. Obviously this is a great relationship. Finally he leaves and Emily is alone and crying.

This season, Emily’s pregnancy marches on, Minnie feels empty because of her father and accuses Monie of changing, Juicy confronts Minnie and gets a drink thrown on her and there are lots of catfights.

Little Women: LA

Jasmine is having a mommy cocktail party. She says she’s glad Briana introduced her to the girls. Tonya has been putting her concentration into her businesses, as she broke up with her boyfriend last season. Christy’s daughter just had leg stretching surgery, so she and Todd have put off having another baby. She’s not getting along with Briana, but she says she’s going to grin and bear it. Terra has been busy with baby Penny’s medical issues.

Christy asks if Terra has heard from Elena. Terra wonders if she was invited. Even though she isn’t a mom, none of their kids are there and she’s a close friend. Christy says she hasn’t talked to Briana since Hawaii. The final straw was Briana saying Todd had been texting her when it was the other way around.

Christy talks about Autumn’s leg surgery and they discuss surgery a little. Jasmine says she’s never had anything except elective surgery, but with her type of dwarfism, she lacks hair and needs to wear false eyelashes and wants to help other women who have that issue.

Tonya suggests that they do something daring and go motocross riding on dirt bikes. Briana says she can’t drive one and Jasmine says they’ll put her in bubble wrap.

Elena has been working on a makeup line. Today she’s seeing the sample.  She wants to have a preview party with her friends and family. She’s doing Terra’s makeup, and Terra tells her about Jasmine wanting to do an eyelash line. Elena says she didn’t even know about Jasmine’s party. Terra tries to defend Jasmine, saying that it was just a gathering for moms. Elena thinks that Jasmine is being a single white female and thinks it’s weird that her eyelashes are coming out at the same time as Elena’s palettes.

Christy is cleaning out her closet. Christy’s mom is staying with them to help out with Autumn’s recovery. Todd had a child with his ex-wife, but the baby died and they keep the ashes in a pink basket in the closet. He said he wouldn’t scatter the ashes until he had his own child with Christy. Contrary to last season, Christy’s mom says that if Christy has or adopts a child, she’s behind her 100%.

Briana is tired of everyone attacking her because Matt doesn’t have a job, when he moved out to L.A. to be with her and left the job he had. Nonetheless, she’d like it if he had a job. Jasmine asks if she feels like she rushed into the marriage. Briana says no. Jasmine asks about the frustration level with Matt not working. She thinks Briana should discuss it with him.

Todd and Christy sneak out to a frozen yogurt place. Their house is feeling crowded. Todd wonders if they should try artificial insemination again, but Christy says it wreaked havoc on her health. She says they tried for a year with no success, and the only way she wants a child is to adopt now. Todd says he wants to raise a child with her and any one they have will be loved. They decide to give adoption a try.

Matt and Briana are out for lunch. Briana wants to talk to him about looking for work without hurting his feelings. She blurts out that she needs him to be looking for a job. She says she needs a break from him sometimes, and she needs to miss him.

Tonya says nothing bonds people better than sharing an adventure. She says she had to get gear made special for the dirt biking due to their size. Elena shows up with contacts that change her eye color. Terra thinks she’s trying to not look like Jasmine. Christy says every time she sees Briana, she thinks about what a liar she is and it’s hard to keep a lid on her feelings. Briana gets a bike with some kind of training wheels.

Elena doesn’t know what to say to Jasmine because of not being invited to the party. She says she doesn’t trust Jasmine. Christy is afraid it’s going to turn into some kind of competition. The girls get ready and motocross is on. Tonya wipes out immediately.

They practice for a while, getting the hang of it, and then do some racing. There are a couple of minor bumps, but then Terra has a bad fall down a hill. She says she’s okay, but she needs to take a break. The track guy says it’s one of the worst falls he’s seen, so she’s pretty tough.

The girls gather at the picnic area afterward. Elena thanks Tonya for inviting all of them, emphasis on the all. Jasmine says if Elena has a problem with her, she should say so. Elena says ditto, rather than not inviting her to something and covering it up by calling it a mommy event. Jasmine says she has no problem with Elena.

Somehow this triggers Christy to jump Briana’s ass about her lies regarding Todd. Briana says she tried to talk to Christy about it privately. Christy says she’s sick of looking at Briana’s ugly face, because she’s five. They go back and forth so loud and fast, I have no idea what they’re even saying.

Jasmine says she’s always invited Elena to everything. Elena says she did too, even her wedding. Jasmine says you do different things with different friends and Elena’s being ridiculous. Elena says Jasmine is trying to take her friends away. Jasmine says she’s just being insecure. Terra interjects, but that goes over like a lead balloon. Jasmine says she’s had enough and leaves.

Elena invites the others to her makeup launch. Terra suggests she be the bigger person and invite Jasmine. Elena says not this time.

No preview for next week, so just make one up.

 

Nov5

November 4, 2015 — Wrong Loving, GH & Twice the LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

If Loving You Is Wrong — Tuesday

Brad visits Alex in the hospital. The nurse says what a fine, strapping boy the baby is, which helps nothing. Brad brought the baby name box so they can name the baby. God only knows what kind of names he put in there. I’m not even going there.

Brad went there, but he didn’t hit quite as low as I thought he would. He makes her pick one and read it. It says “bastard.” No offense, but that’s a wee bit archaic. Although Brad is kind of archaic. Brad picks one. It’s “son of a bitch,” which he says is even better. He wants to continue to play this game and I don’t know why she doesn’t ring for the nurse. The next one is Randal, and Brad says he’s coming every day until they name the baby, even though he seemed pretty happy with that last one.

He asks if she got his text. She says she saw the pic of the shed. He says it was a video, and he pulls it up on his phone faster than I’ve ever seen anyone get a video going.

Lushion says Pete isn’t ready to be his partner. Pete asks if he needs to prove himself and Lushion says, no, just put some more time in. Pete brings up the tape, and Lushion says that he needs to make the boss think it’s his idea and to quit talking about it. Ben is listening in.

Natalie shames Faun and Joey some more. When she asks if they’re in love, Faun says yes and Joey says no. Ouch! Faun tries to backtrack, but Natalie is too wise for that. She says she got pregnant the same way. Not on a burger place counter, but as a teenager who thought she was in love. Faun is like, can I please go? and Natalie suggests she get the morning after pill. Joey says it was only one time like once isn’t enough.

Randal (the real Randal) gets home from work, and Mama Louise asks if he’s been avoiding her. Um, no, he had to go to work. He tries to make excuses for his own stupid behavior, and to her credit, Louise is having none of it and says she’ll slap him silly if he tries that again. She wants him to admit how wrong he was, and he’s having a really tough time with that. Marcie is listening on the steps, and she looks great for someone who’s been drinking and crying for days. Louise tells Randal that she’s never been that crazy about Marcie, but Marcie’s got an ally now. Randal tries to blame Marcie. Oooh, he says Brad and Marcie “slept with” each other and Louise says “they weren’t sleepin’.” She says he reaped what he sowed by Brad and Marcie doing it in the shed. Whoa. Now she says she wishes she’d had the guts to do the same thing to Randal’s father and make him watch. She says he’s disgusting and she taught him better. She tells him to get it together and goes back to plumping the pillows. Wow. Hang on to this mother…in-law. Now it’s Randal who asks how long she’ll be staying. Hahahahaha! Great scene! Tyler Perry is the best at this stuff.

Travis calls Kelly and she tells him to get lost. There’s a knock at the door and she’s ready to tell him off, but it’s Ramsey. Who’s better looking and seems to have a normal IQ. He says he’s not doing well dealing with his mother’s death. He tells Kelly what a great person she was and that he wishes Kelly had known her. He asks if Travis is her baby daddy and she says no. He says he’s going to sell the house and she suggests Marcie as a realtor, but adds to call first before he goes over there. <snort!>

Ramsey says he never knew his father. He says there’s nothing like that mother/son thing. I’ll take his word for it. He gives her his number to give to Marcie and a hug good-by

Eddie is lurking outside of the minimart where he’s sent Ben to find out about the tape. They figure Pete took it and Eddie tells Ben to toss Pete’s desk. Yeah, that’s where I’d be keeping it. In my desk right where these guys can get it.

Esperanza calls Kelly, and after a lot of girl, oh girl, stuff, Marcie tells her she has the hots for Ramsey. Thought so. And it’s about time she shook that weirdo Travis. Although I do want to find out what’s up with him and his mother.

Oh come on. Pete is dubbing the tape onto a DVD at work. Maybe he is stupid. Esperanza asks what’s up and Pete says he’s working on a case. Esperanza says don’t let the boss catch him, because if it was really a case, they wouldn’t have given it to him. Ben pops up and Esperanza says Pete is working on something top secret. She’s joking around, but I’m sure that made Ben sweat a little. Ben asks Pete out for a beer, and Pete is like, no way, you’re not bullying me into a beer this time.

The doctor doesn’t think Eddie should go back to work. Eddie says that every day he’s not on the street, the doctor leaves his wife and daughter open to being raped. I’m sure this is a veiled threat and the doctor is more than happy to let him go. As he’s leaving, Eddie sees Alex. An old lady in a wheelchair is nearby, and Eddie takes some flowers right out of her hands to give Alex. This is pretty funny, especially the look on the lady’s face. Alex is nursing the baby and Eddie comes in with the flowers. She does not want him there. He says they’re cousins and she says they’re nothing and to get out. He sees the baby’s toes and gets loud and freaky. I guess he didn’t know the baby is Randal’s.

Next week, Eddie confronts Brad about the baby’s parentage, and throws Pete up against a locker. And Randal throws a fit. Nothing new there.

General Hospital

Elizabeth, who I hate with a passion, wakes up to a red rose and sweet letter from Jason, who wants her to make chocolate chip pancakes and marry him today. Because it’s November 6, the day after Halloween. I know I keep harping on this, but where is the consistency here?

Lulu is cleaning up The Haunted Star, when Olivia comes in and says it looks like a bomb went off. Lulu says the only thing that exploded was her marriage.

Kiki wakes up from her drunken, destructive night and Morgan Is there. I guess she doesn’t even realize she caused an accident, because we see Carly unconscious in her car. A friend of mine said she’d better hobble to that wedding and tell everyone about Jason, and I agree.

Jake has a surprise for Elizabeth. Ha! So does someone else – eventually. Jake says he’s going to cook the breakfast. (So what was up with that note?) He slept on the couch last night to bring them good luck. He says everything is going to be perfect today and I LOL.

Michael, in Sonny’s social center hospital room, has been trying to get ahold of Carly, but he’s getting voice mail. Sabrrrina is there, but says she has to jet to help out the bride. Michael tells Sonny that he asked her to marry him, but she turned him down.

Morgan is being uncharacteristically gallant and nursing Kiki’s hangover. He asks if she remembers anything and she says no. Franco comes in and asks Morgan what he did to Kiki.

The ever-present, unwanted Valerie, comes to Dante and Lulu’s apartment looking for Lulu. That will be just great if Lulu decides to come back and finds her there. She tells Dante that Dillon played the DVD on purpose, but it’s really her fault because she should have kept her mouth shut. That’s right, you homewrecker.

Lulu tells Olivia that she should talk to Dante to get the story, but then tells her that Dante cheated on her with Valerie. Olivia is aghast and asks what happens now. My vote is for her to divorce that cretin. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Olivia says she knows Dante loves Lulu with all his heart. Lulu is like, I don’t think so. This probably isn’t what she needs to hear right now. Olivia says it’s probably a bad time to act on her feelings. Lulu says that Dante’s plan was to have her, Rocco and the new baby, and Valerie on the side. Okay, I don’t know about that, and we’ve seen what jumping to conclusions does.

Epiphany shows up at Elizabeth’s house with the bridesmaids, while Carly is screwing with her seatbelt. She can’t get it undone and yells for help.

Sonny can’t figure out how on earth Sabrrrina wouldn’t want to marry such a perfect male specimen as Michael and says it must be because of him.

Franco goes off on Morgan, who for once is only doing the right thing. He says Morgan better be gone by the time he gets back. Kiki obviously doesn’t remember a thing, but says she will eventually. Morgan says it can’t wait. I guess he must know she had an accident, but neglected to check around to see if there was another car involved.  Honestly, I’m too old for this; my heart can’t take it. My mind wanders during the commercial break and I wonder if Spinelli has a warranty on that laptop.

Morgan asks Kiki what the last thing is that she remembers. She tells him that she was at The Haunted Star and throws shade at Darby. Morgan tells her they argued, she left, he went looking for her and found her passed out in her car. He says there’s more and Franco comes back saying some idiot sideswiped his car.

Carly, still stuck in her seatbelt, is trying to reach her phone which is thismuch out of reach.

Jake gets the message from Carly. It’s obvious it’s important he call her back. The girls are all about the wedding, and Elizabeth says how lucky they are. Oh, Epiphany is talking about her gorgeous boyfriend, Milo, so could we have some storyline for her please? Blah-blah-blah about what a great guy Jake/Jason is for marrying someone with three kids.

Michael tells Sonny it has nothing to do with him, and that if anyone put a wrench in things, it might have been Carly. Sonny says he’ll work on Carly, and Michael should work on Sabrrrina. Olivia comes busting in with the news about Dante.

Valerie says she should withdraw from the police academy because she broke the rules. You’re right. And please move to Outer Mongolia where you’re at it. Dante says it’s his fault and puts his hand on Valerie’s shoulder. Of course Lulu picks that moment to come in. What did I say? I make several loud noises and once again startle my dogs who have no concept of soap operas and the angst they can create. Lulu made a great face though. I swear, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, this is so good, and I love this show so much right now. It’s like everything good in a soap coming together at once. I will say, although I was getting impatient, they knew what they were doing. Except for that November 6 thing.

Michael wants to know what Dante had to say for himself. Olivia says she only talked to Lulu, but it was a very public revelation. Sonny says Dante was supposed to talk to Lulu, and Olivia is like what?!

Lulu says if she wants to talk about her husband, it won’t be with his whore. HA! Oh Lord, Valerie says something about Lulu’s responsibility and that it’s her fault it was all set in motion, and that she needs to recognize her culpability. She needs to leave now. Dante even tells her she needs to leave now. Valerie says what’s more important, her pride or her family? When she leaves, Dante says they were both waiting for Lulu, and that he hates himself for what he did. He says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen with them, and Lulu says neither does she. He wants to sit around and talk about it, but she says it doesn’t seem like her home anymore, it seems like a crime scene.

Franco is going on about his car and I can’t believe he doesn’t have a clue that Kiki might have been driving it. He’s off to call someone, and Kiki asks if she’s the one who wrecked the car. Morgan tells her yes, and she needs to fess up. He says she’s lucky he found her since she had an open bottle of liquor with her, and adds it’s lucky she didn’t hit somebody. She remembers the moment just before the accident.

Carly’s phone is ringing and I make more noises. Oh, now she remembers there are scissors in the glove box. Jake leaves a message and hangs up. She finally gets the phone. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALL HIM BACK NOW!

Commercial break. These kids are eating baked beans and say mom forgot to give them vegetables. Please don’t tell me, that in the age of Google and Bing, that kids don’t know a bean is a vegetable. Please. Toddlers know what a freakin’ bean is.

Olivia says Sonny gave Dante bad advice by telling him he should tell Lulu. What? She says everyone would have been better off if no one had known.  Well yeah, but too many people knew already, so that suggestion is no help whatsoever.

Dante offers to leave, but Lulu says she doesn’t want to stay there. She shoves the wedding invitation at him and says he should go because she doesn’t believe in marriage anymore.

Epiphany is having a game smack down with the kids while everyone gets ready. Felix says she’s doing God’s work, and she tells him don’t forget it when he ties the knot. She doesn’t want to be passed over again for maid of honor, adding, and by Patrick no less. I love her and wish she was on the show more.

Michael and Jake/Jason wonder where Carly is, and come to the stupid conclusion she’s off getting her hair done.

Morgan tells Kiki that crawling into a bottle isn’t the answer. He tells her to get some rest. Is no one going to check the accident site??? Kiki again remembers yelling something at the other driver, but says it’s fuzzy. It’s not that fuzzy. Say something, dammit! Franco goes off on Morgan again and says he doesn’t need to be easing his conscience there. Man, normally I’d agree, but not today.

They’re going to string this out until Friday, aren’t they? Heaving huge sigh. This is just stressful.

Valerie goes back to The Haunted Star looking for Dillon and has a reverie about her and Dante. She starts crying and I couldn’t care less.

There’s a song part (bleh) and montage where Sonny is texting Dante, Lulu is packing her and Rocco’s stuff, Dante is looking pitiful, Kiki is having donuts with Franco, and Carly is trying to call Jake/Jason back.

We end with Jake/Jason picking up the phone and saying, “Carly?”

From tomorrow’s preview, it looks like they’ll be focusing on other characters and slam this thing home on Friday. November 6. The day after Halloween.

Little Women LA – Reunnion Part 2

When we left the women, Michaela has entered the fray. The moderator asks what’s up with the nude pics that Matt sent to her. We flash back to when Terra outed him last season for sexting another women, and Briana insisted that she knew already. Michaela is a married woman and says she was separated at the time. She claims her conscience was bothering her and that’s why she sent the pics to Briana and the other ladies. I believe it if you believe it.

Michaela says she thinks Matt has a fetish issue. Terra says he hit on her first and Matt gets a little nasty. Terra says that Briana had a lot of complaints about Matt’s treatment of her, but Briana now insists that’s not so, she was only mad after a fight.

The moderator asks Matt to set at rest what he does for a living, if anything. He says he saved kids for 9 years, but I don’t know what that means, and he was also a bouncer for what sounds like a pretty dicey place.

Michaela says Briana deserves better. She goes on about Matt having Black and little people fetishes. Matt goes off that his ex-wife and children, and Briana are not fetishes. Exit Michaela.

We flash back to Terra having her baby, Penny, and also clips that show she “hasn’t lost her spunk.” Britney says she’s two different people and not in a good way. She says that Terra feels that she’s the star of the show and wants to be one everywhere. Britney says that Terra likes to start stuff and acts like she’s never wrong. Terra says she has admitted she was wrong and had apologized to Briana for something I can’t remember.

The moderator asks Briana if it’s been a challenge (translation: pita) having a relationship with Matt when her family hasn’t been supportive. She had some kind of get together where her parents didn’t show because she’d only known him a short time, and what was the point. Wow. Briana’s sister joins the group.

Briana’s sister feels like Matt has encouraged Briana to distance herself from the family and that she’s lowered her standards. She says at this point, her parents are willing to meet Matt. Matt says he’s never asked her to not be with her family. The moderator asks if everyone is ready to accept Matt and Tonya said she did when Briana said she was married.

Terra asks if they’re thinking of having children. Since they’re only using the withdrawal method for birth control, I’d say they’re not preventing it. When the moderator asks Briana’s sister if she thinks they should have children, you can hear a pin drop. Jasmine says who cares, Matt gives her a high five and bye-bye Briana’s sister.

The focus goes next to Terra and Christy’s tumultuous friendship. Christy and Terra talk about each other’s lifestyle changes. The moderator asks for Briana’s opinion and she says that she and Christy drifted away from each other. Christy says something about Briana not liking that she and Terra are friends again, but Briana says that’s not the case. We go back to Briana lying about being married. Tonya says that when you hide something, it means you’re unsure of it yourself. Elena, who’s been pretty quiet, says that it was obvious no one liked Matt, so that’s why Briana chose to keep her marriage to herself. I tend to think she didn’t want to get flack from everyone, or it’s possible she thought they’d talk her out of it. Christy says she was hurt that Briana even discussed what kind of wedding she wanted when she was already married.

Now the men join in. We go down Elena’s Memory Lane about her vow renewal ceremony, which was more like the wedding she never had, and how Briana spoiled It a little with her marriage announcement at the bachelorette weekend, taking the attention away from Elena. Elena says that when she watched the episode, she could see that Briana was upset about the vow renewal. Elena asks why she didn’t wait if she wanted all the pomp and circumstance. Briana says she didn’t mean to steal any thunder and Terra’s husband Joe makes blah-blah-blah hand gestures.

On to reliving the couple’s retreat, although why we want to, I don’t know. The moderator asks how the guys feel about Matt calling their ladies “bitches.” Since they’ve shown this clip before every commercial break, I feel like this question has been asked 10 times already. Christy says it’s a misogynist word and I don’t totally get that, since it’s thrown around everywhere these days. I also don’t see why if someone is being called names, they’re not allowed to retaliate, male or female.

The moderator asks for a final opinion from the guys, and everyone is vague except Joe who says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care.

Elena says she learned that her family and friends are more important than circumstances being perfect; Tonya says she learned to be open to new friendships; Jasmine says she needs to be careful who she gets close to, since they’re all so nosey; Briana says she learned not to lie and that the most important thing is sticking by each other in the end; Terra says it’s her first time on the show as a mother, and maybe she shouldn’t be so blunt.

They have a sneak peek of Little Women Atlanta and I wonder what happened to the NYC girls. Atlanta seems like the same show, except feistier with fewer blondes.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshA is checking out a property that, besides the required amazing view, has all kinds of cool built-in lighting. As usual, there’s the argument about the price. The builder/owner wants to go higher than Josh thinks will work. The owner sees the wisdom in what Josh has to say. He’s leaving for Moscow and wants Josh to be his eyes and ears, and be able to call him 24/7, to which Josh agrees.

David is showing James a place that he originally was having built as an investment property, but he and his girlfriend, Adrienne, now want to call it home. It has 23 foot ceilings and is pretty incredible overall. James thinks he should stick to the original plan and sell it. Zoning laws have changed, and this kind of house can no longer be built and is at a premium. I say why not wait. The resale should still be good 10 years from now because there will never be any others built. David says he and Adrienne are emotionally attached to it.

JoshF has a client who wants to downsize. Amazingly, they agree on a price. But she’s not ready to sell it yet. She wants to find a new house first, which I can understand. She gives Josh a laundry list of what she wants in a house, as well as her price range. She says if he finds her the right house, he’s got a sale. It’s both or nothing.

James is meeting with a New York based client. He’s renovating his house and it looks like a movie star house from the 60s. Did James just say $60 million? Yes, he did. The client isn’t interested in selling though, he’s looking to buy commercial space on Sunset. Apparently, this is nearly impossible. He’s looking to spend a load of money too and these brokers will do anything for a sale.

JoshA says the client has been calling him non-stop and the house isn’t even on the market yet. For the brokers’ open house, Josh has brought in models to create living art, scenarios that show how the house can be lived in. There’s everything from a couple in bed (hush and get your mind out of the gutter) to a group doing yoga poses in the backyard. One guy isn’t crazy about the kitchen appliances, but I am.

Madison, from another season, and his client walk in. He and JoshA don’t exactly get along. Both Josh and his fiancé once worked for him. When Josh left to go on his own, Heather stayed behind and Josh says Madison didn’t give her the commissions he was supposed to. Josh thanks Madison because he says if Madison hadn’t ripped Heather off, he wouldn’t have gotten the girl.

Madison said they’re a couple of liars, so they’re perfect for each other. Madison explains something about her contract that I fail to understand. They move on to discussing the house. The client makes an offer to Josh that’s about half a million too low.

JoshF says what his client is looking for is difficult because her list is so long, but he’s riding his unicorn around trying to find it. He’s sending her a bunch of listings so she can get a feel for what’s out there.

James and David are having a double-date. James’s wife asks how the house plans are going and James asks if they’d sell if the price was right. David’s girlfriend says they’re moving in six weeks. James is looking toward the future for them, but Adrienne is like no way, I’m in love with that house. Meh. I’d take the money.

Oooh! David has 2 basset hounds, but also a teeny weeny Chihuahua. I don’t remember him having a Chi. Maybe it belongs to the girlfriend.

JoshA shows his client a house with floor to ceiling windows and a gourmet kitchen and a lot of other things I could only dream about. It’s another house that’s right on the water. The tide comes right up to the patio. She says the neighbors are a little close (they are), and she wants a “dry beach.” Josh says she’ll have to pay for a dry beach. In his individual interview, Josh says he wishes he’d known she wanted a dry beach it would have been nice to know that in the beginning (I agree).

JoshA and Heather are hanging out with their two cute, little, but not Chi, dogs, eating crackers and hummus. Josh tells Heather about Madison and his client. Heather says she’s moved on. Josh seems like he hasn’t, but says a bunch of mature stuff. I’m guessing that Josh and Madison will be arguing soon.

James says he has called every owner on Sunset and he can’t find a property. He decides to take the client to an up and coming area and force him to look. James tells him he’s called 30 owners and no one will sell. The client does not care about any of this. It’s Sunset or no. So James takes him to another place. The client won’t even get out of the car. So James takes him to a third location. The client says it’s great for something else, but not what his specific project is. He says he has a month and if James can’t show him something appropriate, not to show him anything. He also makes noises about bringing in another broker.

JoshA decides there are people in LA that he’d rather have as friends than enemies. He asks James to meet him for dinner. In an earlier episode, Josh created quite a stink at an open house James was having, so James balks. Josh apologizes for his behavior. James practically falls out of his chair.

Next week, Larry Flynt. And it looks like JoshA’s client is going to bring James in as a broker.

Oct29

October 28, 2015 — GH Interrupted & Twice the LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Liz tells Ric about her upcoming nuptials. Ric gets together with Sonny to discuss the custody case.

Scotty goes to Ava’s gallery, which is chock full of cartoonlike paintings of lizards, to discuss the custody case with her. Ava brings up the obvious, that Sonny is in the mob. Scotty says that every time he goes to prison, he commits an act of heroism and everyone loves him. Scotty tells her that she’d better make nice with Kiki before the custody hearing, so that Kiki will be supportive.

“Jake” apologizes to Spinelli for his outburst. Spinelli says that he purged the files when he got caught (much to his “everlasting shame”) and needs “Jake” to get a legitimate copy of his medical records.

Just as Dillon is about to tell Lulu about Dante and Valerie, Nathan and Valerie come in. Nathan tells Lulu that her beer delivery is there and she says she’ll be right back. I pass out from holding my breath for the last 24 hours.

Kiki wants to text Morgan an apology (why?), but hesitates in sending it. She does. He recieves while at the hospital where half the cast lives now. He comes to see her, and she apologizes for being a drunken jerk. She also says there are a lot of leftovers from Nathan and Maxie’s visit. No doubt they are soggy and stale, but Morgan says he’ll go fix them a plate. Ha-ha-ha! While he’s out of the room, new girl Darby texts Morgan, asking him if he wants to hang out and Kiki texts back that he can’t because he’s “busy having sex with Kiki.” Good one!

Maxie tells Nathan that Dillon told her he has something on Dante, but she still hasn’t found out what. Valerie takes Dillon aside and asks what’s up. Dillon says he’s had enough of Dante’s hypocrisy. Valerie says it will destroy Lulu, not to mention her, which I file under “who cares.” Lulu comes in and Valerie covers by saying she’s back together with Dillon, to which he agrees. Dammit!

Maxie asks Dante to make Nathan tell her his secret because they should share everything and he gets really nasty, saying she’s the last one who should be talking about giving up information, since she carried a child for nine months, telling them it was Dante and Lulu’s when it wasn’t. I want Lulu to find out about him more than ever.

“Jake” is having lunch with Elizabeth and she says she has an early wedding present for him. While she’s off fetching it, he goes to the desk to get a copy of his medical records.

Nice. ABC broke in for a memorial service. I feel badly about the cop that was killed, but it’s gotten ridiculous that they think everything needs everyone’s attention, and nothing can wait until 4 pm’s news anymore.

Turning to People’s Court.

Little Women LA – Reunion Part 1

I can tell you right now, it’s hard to take someone seriously who’s wearing a blue wig or a mohawk.

Oh great, it looks like Bravo is getting them drunk first. This ought to be a real sh*tshow.  I don’t even see one hors d’oeuvre there. Just liquor.

Before they even introduce the women, we trip down Memory Lane with every argument they’ve ever had. Way to warm them up. At least it doesn’t look like they’re sitting in someone’s garage this time.

We start off with Jasmine’s introduction to the group and Tonya telling her she can’t just “walk in and fit in.” Tonya thinks it’s funny that she tried to aggressively grab Jasmine’s hair when Jasmine tried to avoid a fight with her. Elena says Jasmine tried to be too sweet to everyone. Whatever that means. Jasmine says that’s just how she is. Elena says Jasmine had texted her about getting into the entertainment industry and apparently this is a bad thing. I guess because it’s competitive? Terra says Jasmine is secretly just as loud and obnoxious as the rest of them. Okay.

Whoa. These girls are really picking on Jasmine. Elena seems to think Jasmine had an ulterior motive to make friends with them, but this really sounds like some kind of sour grapes thing. I didn’t get that vibe from Jasmine at all, and she certainly didn’t come across that way in her individual interviews, which is where they usually drop any pretense.

Now we’re on to other new girl, Britney. This chick really did get off to a bad start, by intimating that Elena had some kind of unsavory relationship with David, Britney’s dad, while she was married. Terra says she’s worse than Jasmine because she makes up things. Terra is also the only one in this group who calls Britney’s dad “Davide,” and I want to know why. Britney looks like she’s going to cry, although she kind of backtracks about the Elena thing. (I have to admit, he is cute and charming.) Now Elena is on Terra’s case because what Terra said Britney said (ha-ha! I sound like I’m I middle school) wasn’t exactly what Britney said when Elena saw the episode. Of course Terra says that there was more to it that wasn’t aired. Like Bravo wouldn’t have stirred that pot. David comes out to clear things up. He says he dated Christy before she was with Todd, but he was only friends with Elena. Now Terra is changing Elena’s words from David being supportive when she was going through a tough time with Preston, to that David hit on her.

I guess we’re going to drag this out. Elena says that she told Terra that she thought maybe David was having feelings for her. The moderator asks if David regrets anything. Yeah, just getting involved with this group is probably a world of regret.

Next, we’re on to Todd and Christy’s efforts to have a child. Todd joins them. He says the artificial insemination process was very painful physically for Christy, which is why he didn’t want to go that route again. He says they were so focused on the whole thing, they neglected everything else, like each other. Christy says they’re both goal oriented, so they both forgot to stop and smell the roses. Or something like that.

We see some “lost footage,” that’s not that lost, and is mostly sex talk during their Palm Springs weekend. Briana says it was a great weekend, but Christy says the only thing that stands out in her mind is that Briana was lying by not telling them she was married. Tonya says when you hide something, it means you’re not sure of it yourself. I can’t say I’ve ever heard that theory. Elena says that Briana didn’t say anything because everyone hated Matt from the get-go. They go on and on and on about how Briana lied and I get dizzy.

Matt joins the group. We flash back to everyone lambasting Briana for breathing the same air as Matt. In one of the clips, Terra says that since Matt has a record, he won’t be getting a job. Someone should clue her in that plenty of people with records get jobs. Briana says that every time his name even came up, she got grief, so she decided not to say anything about it to the girls. Briana says they were in Vegas for her birthday, and it was a spontaneous move. Terra says Briana had said she wanted to move slowly with him, and she knocked them for a loop. Jasmine says she’s a grown ass woman, and Terra counters with then she shouldn’t behave like a child and lie. Matt’s cheating is brought up. IMO, I have no clue if Matt is a bad guy, and although I understand girlfriends protecting each other, these girls went at her like a bunch of machine guns constantly. It’s not surprising she wouldn’t tell them her business. It wasn’t the message, it was the delivery.

Matt and Terra start getting into it about whether or not he has a record. It sounds to me like he might have been arrested, but never convicted and it was probably a domestic dispute. Matt says that when he cheated (which was sexting), Briana had dumped him and they weren’t together. There is some argument about this, since the girls say Briana had said they were together at the time. Briana says not so. I have no idea since everyone seems to make it up as they go along.

OMG, they bring out their special guest, Michaela, the woman Matt sexted. I don’t want to say she’s unattractive, but…

We have to wait until next week to see what Michaela has to say. It looks like there’s going to be quite a ruckus. A few ruckuses actually.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

Madison, a dude from previous seasons, is showing James and his clients a house in Malibu. It’s really modern and not my style, but everything always seems to be about the view anyway. I guess that’s because you can always tear down a house, but the view is the view. The house is right on the ocean. I mean right on the ocean. Like 3 feet away. The potential buyer couple is concerned about natural disasters, and rightly so. I live near the ocean myself. Although not that close.

JoshA is meeting with a developer. He shows Josh his house, and asks the developer’s young daughter what she thinks of the ceiling detail. She says it’s “modern, yet inviting,” and we know she’s precocious. When they sit down to deal, she’s a shark. As always, the sellers want more than the broker thinks they can get. He says that to overprice in a hot market is a bad idea. Josh thinks he’s being punked when he asks what happens if he doesn’t get a bite in the first week, and the kid says it’s on him. They compromise by agreeing that if there is nothing in the first week, the price goes lower.

JoshF is showing houses to buyers who are hinging their decision on if their painting likes it. Yes, you read that right. He shows them an “arts and crafts” bungalow from the 1920s. I’m in, and the painting likes it. Hey Mikey! It hasn’t hit the market yet, and Josh says that they need to go to full ask, which the husband is not too keen on. He wants to start with $1.7 million, when full ask is $2 million. It always boggles my mind when the buyers get stupid over what’s a small amount in the long run. I think these two might be making a mistake.

James and Madison show James’s couple a house with an empty property in back of it. Just by coincidence, a friend of Madison’s owns the empty lot and will be happy to sell it. Since they want privacy, it’s a win-win all around. James gives them some lemons that are the size of footballs in celebration.

Josh is showing the developer’s place. He explains to his assistants the ins and outs of how the property should be presented for what the buyer is asking. It’s a brokers’ open house and they all balk at the price. David has teamed with JoshA on this one too. Bravo realizes we’re bored, so they’ve decided to shuffle the broker deck.

The couple’s lowball offer was rejected. The seller didn’t counter either. JoshF says offering anything other than full ask will just piss them off. The husband is being a real jerk, and the wife already wanted to offer the full price. This guy is going to lose the house over $39K. He finally relents and Josh makes the deal. Not sure if the husband will be sleeping on the couch tonight or not.

It turns out James’s client is afraid of heights, which is a liability in the Hollywood Hills. David suggests the overpriced house. James calls JoshA and he joshes him (I couldn’t resist) by pretending he doesn’t know who James is at first, but business is business and he’s glad to show the house.

JoshF is at his parents’ house for dinner. They just remodeled their home. I never saw the before, but the after is fabulous. His mother tells him that he needs to stop living in a hotel, and Josh tells her he wants to live in Grandma Enid’s penthouse. His mother thinks that’s a bad idea because he would turn it into a shrine to her, and Josh has to admit that’s a possibility. I liked her too, so I can get where their coming from.

JoshA gets his wish and the developer lowers his price. The daughter makes some remarks that seem scripted. Since James’s buyers are also real estate novices, he tells them to keep a poker face even if they love it. Josh rubs his hands in glee, spying a naïve young couple who are loaded. Of course James is going to try to get the price down, even though they can afford full ask. James makes an offer.

JoshF says it feels like Grandma Enid is just on vacation. He says the penthouse isn’t the same without her, and I know how he feels. When my father died, the house I grew up in was no longer the same either. Josh’s husband comes to the penthouse. He says that Josh doesn’t seem like he’s ready to make a decision. Josh agrees, and says maybe he’ll “hear from her” in the meantime.

JoshA confers with his brother (who also works with him) on the not-as-overpriced-now house. James and David come to the office. Josh counters their offer with almost a million more. They up their ante by $200K all cash, but Josh says all cash isn’t a big deal anymore. The developer is okay with that, but Josh wants to get more. The developer says his daughter will appreciate that. Josh counters, but then takes the next counter offer. Sold for $7,4 million.

Oct22

October 21, 2015 — PC, Tyler Perry & Twice the LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Alexis wastes no time in telling Julian that baby Mateo is baby Leo. She shows him the DNA test results. Julian makes the genius connection between Olivia wanting to tell him something and stopping when the police showed up to arrest him. Julian says he should have felt a connection with Leo. Why, when he can’t even find a connection to his shirt?

Nathan tells Dante that he should really come clean with Lulu, but he won’t tell Maxie anything even though she’s prying like crazy. Fat chance and fat chance.

Junior has graduated from door guarding to wheelchair pushing. Maybe he’ll get an actual line of dialogue if he sticks around long enough. I’m wondering where he’s considered on the pay scale. You have walk-ons, under 5s (meaning under 5 lines of dialogue) and bit parts. What happens if you’re doing more than walking on, but have no dialogue?

Sonny bursts in on Patrick and Carly, and asks why Patrick is telling Carly he might never walk again and hasn’t told him. Um…he did. You didn’t listen. Patrick says Sonny doesn’t want to deal with reality (when has he ever?) and Sonny says he’s getting a new doctor.

Nina has bought 10,000 thread count sheets and Franco suggests they christen them, even if it’s just with cuddling. (Aww!) Kiki comes in, acting like her usual half-drunk self, and Nina says she’s going to put her new sheets on and take an example from Kiki by spending the day in bed doing nothing with her life.

Lulu tells Dante that Dillon said he knows something. She says Maxie thinks he’s just being bitter, but she has the feeling there’s more to it than that. Lulu wants to know what Dillon knows that she doesn’t. Come on, Dante. You know it’s going to come out eventually. Maxie tells Dillon that she hasn’t given up on finding an investor for Dillon’s film. What happened to yesterday’s idea about splitting the take on The Haunted Star’s Halloween party?

Franco tells Kiki that for him, hating Morgan is like a hobby, akin to planting a rock garden or trimming bonsai trees, but it seems to be costing her, so she needs to act like Elsa and let it go. She’s not having any, and he asks her to do it for him. Kiki agrees to try and be nice, and puts herself on snack detail for a get-together with Maxie and Nathan.

Julian is his usual entitled self and thinks he can just go over to Olivia’s and take the baby.  I used to kind of like him, but now I kind of dislike him. Alexis says she can identify because she also tried to hide a baby from Sonny, and begs him to act like a mature adult. Good luck with that.

Maxie and Nathan arrive at Nina’s. Just as they’re relaxing, Franco suggests since their visit was so out of the blue, they must want something. Nathan says he’s right, that they’re looking for film funding.

Dante is talking about Olivia with Lulu and she says it’s just more proof that lies have a way of compounding. Do they also accrue interest? Julian doesn’t listen to a damn thing Alexis said and busts in on Olivia and Morgan. He shoves the test results in her face and says he wants his son. Liking him even less now.

Patrick tells Sonny that he doesn’t want anyone to see that he’s weak just like everyone else. He says Sonny needs to act like a real man and face reality.

Nina gives Maxie some bucks and gives Kiki her credit card for the evening. The latter is probably a huge mistake, but giving stuff away has made Nina happy. She suggests she and Franco check out the new sheets. He decides to go for a walk. Huh?

Morgan is ready to head out of the hospital with Sonny and Carly stops them.

Not very exciting today, but tomorrow looks better.

If Loving You Is Wrong

I didn’t forget; I just didn’t have time yesterday, so I watched it On Demand.

Lucien is trying to get the tape of the shooting, but keeps getting thwarted. He tells Esperanza she doesn’t look good and she’s like, excuse me? He means she looks troubled, but she says everything is okay. She keeps talking though. She says that Eddie is a good guy at his core, but he’s out of control. They’re seeing each other, but they’re not really seeing each other, and she asks Lucien not to tell Natalie because she doesn’t need extra grief.

Wow. I never realized how many commercials this channel had until I just fast-forwarded through them. There were at least 8. I’m not kidding.

New girl, who is supposed to relieve Esperanza at the 911 board, comes in, but we don’t even get introduced.

Lucien’s new partner, Pete, comes to the hospital to see Ben. Andrew, the desk guy, tells Ben to be careful of Eddie. Pete says Eddie’s not a bad guy, and Andrew says he’s not a good one either. They both think that Ben getting all his fingers blown off by a perp is weird, so I guess they don’t know the real story. I’m guessing we don’t really either. I think Eddie has something to do with it.

Pete tells Ben to look at the bright side – he’s right handed and it’s the left hand that got shot. I’d actually thought the same thing last week. He suggests Ben can come back to work eventually, but I don’t think Ben wants to. Pete leaves and Ben hassles the nurse about getting pain meds. She tells him that he’s had enough for somebody twice his size four times over. She intimates he might be an addict. He says, “Go, bitch!” like he’s a pimp or something.

Commercial break. In fast-forwarding, I see an ad for Ilyanla, Fix My Life. One of the funniest skits I ever saw was Wanda Sykes doing Ilyanla, Fix My Flat. Now every time I see an ad for that show, Wanda pops in my head.

Joey is cleaning up the burger place after closing & Faun, whose dad owns it, shows up. You’d never know the place had been in tatters like a week ago after the shoot out. Faun pulls out a joint and says if he smokes it with her, she’ll help him clean up. Geez, twist his arm, why don’t you. I have to say, no one has ever given me an offer like that. She flips on the vent, Joey lights the j, and it looks like they’re going to do more than just smoke. Or maybe smoke in another way.

Kelly hears someone breaking into the house next door. New girl answers the 911 call, but Esperanza takes it from her, and sends Lucien to Kenny’s house. She says it’s next door, but I’m still not sure which house she means. I’m guessing it’s Randall breaking into Brad’s house. Or maybe his own house, since he and Marcie aren’t exactly on good terms. Esperanza tells Kelly to make sure her doors are locked.

Alex tries to call Brad from the hospital, but the phone is ringing unattended on the counter. Her caller ID is “Lying Bitch” on his phone. Ha-ha-ha! My husband’s parents are “Old Folks Home” on his.

Lucien gets to Kelly’s and they have a guy in cuffs. He says his name is Ramsey, it’s his mom’s house and she told him about Kelly talking to her the other day. I guess his mom isn’t close enough to him to give him a key? He says he hasn’t been able to get ahold of her and he’s worried something is wrong. He wants the cops to check and of course they have to tell him to calm down. Nothing pisses off an uncalm person more than someone telling them to calm down.

Oh, this is kind of sad. Ramsey’s mother is dead. Pete says he thinks she died in her sleep. It would be really nice of them to take the cuffs off. I never took Lucien to be a heartless jerk. Okay, he’s taking them off now. On a side note, I really think more cops need sensitivity training. This scene seemed pretty accurate. I wonder if Ramsey will move into his mom’s house and be a love interest for Kelly.

Alex calls the house landline, and her little girl, Paisley (cool name!) answers. While her son talks to her, Paisley goes looking for Brad, but can’t find him. Alex tells her to see if the car is in the driveway. It is, so she says good night.

Eddie and Ben are in a car outside the mini-mart where the tape is. Eddie gives Ben – we’ve been given no explanation how he got out of the hospital – some painkillers, and tells him to get the tape. Too late. Pete’s there for the same reason. Eddie kicks Ben out of the car and confronts Pete. He makes stupid chitchat, and then asks Pete what he has in the bag. Pete is pretty shaky, but says it’s just cream for the coffee he also has. Eddie wants the bag, but Pete won’t give it to him. Lucien calls and Pete lets him know Eddie is there. Ah-ah (in Nelson voice)! Pete leaves, but Eddie tells Ben (who is allowed back in the car now) that he’s going to “get” him.

Lucien recognizes that the coffee isn’t from their regular place and asks Pete if he was after the tape. Pete says no a thousand times. Lucien tells him they’re supposed to stay out of it, and he’d better not be lying. Since I don’t believe him for a second, I wonder why Pete’s so interested in the tape.

Alex talks to Kelly who tells her about the woman next door and her son. At first, Alex thinks that’s where Brad must have been, but Kelly says no. Alex tells her the kids are alone, and would she look around for Brad. I yell, “He’s in the shed with Marcie!” but no one hears me. Alex wants Kelly to go to Randall’s, but Kelly has been trying to avoid Marcie and doesn’t want to. Alex says she’ll come home then, and Kelly relents. Kelly hears Brad and Marcie going at it so loud the whole neighborhood must be hearing it. I wonder why she didn’t hear this from the front yard. She basically pulls a Schultz and says she knows nothing and hangs up. Randall comes home, but before he can shake Kelly down. Mom pops out and drags him to the shed. This ought to be good.

Little Women LA

Christy is going off like a rocket about Briana having lied about being married. Elena’s vow renewal weekend in Hawaii is not the place, girlfriend. Tonya adds to the fire, but at least keeps her cool. Whoops! There goes Terra. It’s not like Briana can go back and change it. Chill already.

Terra says Briana is clearly being taken advantage of, and Matt calls them a bunch of bitches. For some reason, this isn’t allowed. Everyone except Brianna has started to degenerate into a bunch of 5-year-olds. They’re firing questions at Matt, but he’s not allowed to speak. Briana does mention that being screamed at while everyone has clay on their face is ridiculous. Christy literally stomps off to keep her flip-flops on her feet.

Terra says she’s glad Elena and Preston couldn’t make it to the couples’ retreat, even though she was disappointed at first, because they don’t need the stress. I get where everyone is coming from, but the ones creating the stress aren’t Briana and Matt.

Briana gets together with Jasmine and Britney. Jasmine is annoyed because the others keep playing telephone with her words. She had told them that Todd said he could have Briana any time he wanted. This translated to Todd is still in love with Briana, which isn’t the same thing. Apparently, Todd has been texting Briana the entire time he’s been married to Christy too. Bleh.

Ha-ha! The irony isn’t lost on Britney that Terra didn’t want her there because she was afraid Britney would start trouble. Yet Terra quickly jumped on the scream-at-Briana bandwagon. They’re going snorkeling, and Tonya is pissed that Jaa didn’t jump to her defense when Matt called them bitches. (Bitch, please.) She says she’s not letting his snorkel anywhere near her. Ha-ha!  I’ve never been snorkeling, and I’m both jealous that they’re in paradise and annoyed that they’re not totally appreciating it. Sea turtles abound!

Jaa has planned a private romantic dinner for himself and Tonya. He reads her a romantic poem. Tonya brings up the bitch thing. He says they were all acting like it. Ha! She says she wants a man to “protect her,” which sounds idiotic. It’s not like Matt was all in her face or even singled her out. She doesn’t understand how he basically didn’t want to step in because she was wrong. Or at least the timing and delivery were wrong. I like Jaa. I’m the most loyal person you’ll ever meet, but if you’re wrong, I’m going to tell you. People might get pissed about that sometimes, but I’ve actually had them come back and thank me later. I’m not so sure Tonya is going to thank Jaa though.

Tonya asks where the relationship is going. She wants a commitment, but he’s not ready. Jaa suggests they take a hiatus. He doesn’t want to stand in her way of happiness (yeah, yeah). She says in her individual interview that she’ll leave the door open, but she’s not going to wait forever for a brother. At least he was honest, and he kindly asks if it’s okay for him to stay. Tonya says yes. How good of her to not kick him out of Hawaii.

The ladies are having a spa day. Elena tells Briana that she heard the couples’ retreat wasn’t “too retreating.” Briana says that’s true, but she doesn’t want to interfere with Elena’s weekend. She’s the only one who’s acting halfway normal. Tonya tells them what happened with Jaa. I’ve never gone on a trip with a group of friends, but this is making me think I never want to.

Elena and Terra are meeting with the wedding planner. Elena wanted the ceremony to be right on the beach, and that’s a no. Because of county ordinances, they have to have it on the property of the hotel. The planner splits for a meeting, and Elena is a little pissed because the planner didn’t let her know about this beforehand. Nothing seems to be going right and Elena starts to cry. I feel badly for her because these are things the planner should have gone over with her, and she did all this in the first place because she wasn’t happy with it the first time around. Seems to me, no one is getting their expectations met on this trip, but she’s the one who really counts.

Preston can tell things aren’t right with Elena, and she says she’s not feeling it at all. Preston says that no matter what, it will be special, and he’s thrilled their families will finally get to meet. Elena gets a boost when the family luncheon goes well, but then the planner brings her back down again. She doesn’t have a picture of the bouquet. She says it’s never been made before, but her description is very elaborate, and that’s not what Elena wanted. She wanted simple. She says she feels like the planner hasn’t even listened to her requests and I tend to agree.

Tonya confronts Matt privately about the bitch thing, and he gives her an eloquent apology. He says he shouldn’t have lumped her in when she was actually trying to have a conversation.  Again, I’ve never seen this guy be anything but okay, and treat Briana any way except like a queen.

Briana decides that if Matt and Tonya can make up, maybe she and Christy can too. Christy thinks it’s okay to call Matt whatever she wants, but he shouldn’t have called her a bitch. Briana tells her about Todd’s texting, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She starts getting all loud and emotional again, and Terra steps in to cool things down. I’m totally with her on not wanting more drama to happen at Elena’s weekend, but she seems to think Briana is starting something with Christy. She tried to talk to Christy, and Christy is the one who got weird.

Elena sees a picture of the bouquet and it’s not what she wanted. Now she’s worried about everything else, like the cake and the ceremony itself. She’s having major second thoughts. The space looks beautiful though, with an archway set up for the couple, and the ocean in the background.

Christy says Todd showed her all of the messages between him and Briana, and that Briana’s lying again. Like he couldn’t have deleted something. I believe Briana.

The worst thing about all this is that it’s so unfair to Elena. If these girls were really friends of hers, they’d avoid having these confrontations and save it until the weekend is over. It’s not like they don’t have any distractions. It’s Hawaii for Pete’s sake!

Everything is gorgeous, including the bride. Elena is finally happy and she looks like the most beautiful Barbie doll in the world. When they exchange the vows they’ve written, everyone starts to cry. They are so obviously in love, it even touches my heart. At least no one started anything during the ceremony.

Back to middle school. This is just sad. The table is filled, so Matt and Briana have to sit by themselves.

The not-so-newlyweds enter and do their first dance. Preston sings to her and she says she wants to consummate the vow renewal now. She looks absolutely hot, in a red lace dress that isn’t quite as revealing as the wedding dress. Elena also has a dance with her father. She says that of all the American wedding traditions, this is her favorite. This touches me as my father passed away before I got married, so I didn’t get that experience.

Christy is going on and on and on to Tonya about how Briana is the one who started texting Todd, when she’d said she didn’t have his number. Doesn’t she know he can delete stuff??? Don’t do this here. Please. Please.

She confronts Briana like she’s five. In a sing-songy voice with her hands flailing about. I think Christy is incredibly insecure. And I think Todd does try to flirt with Briana.

Tonya catches the bouquet. It’s the finale, so they have those things that tell you what everyone is doing now. The best one was that Elena was expecting two bundles of joy…she’s getting breast enhancement surgery. I’ll miss the girls a lot, but I’m looking forward to the reunion.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Because the Little Women ran overtime, I missed the first half hour. I came in to James showing some developers a property with an amazing view. Basically no different from any other episode. I see from the blurb that both NBA player Kris Humphries and Brian Wilson are going to be clients. I don’t know squat about basketball, but I’m assuming Kris is the really tall one with the developers.

Brian Wilson seems really weird. Really, really weird.

JoshF is showing the cutest house! It looks like a fairy tale cottage. But with new appliances. The client sounds hard to please and is judging the appropriateness of the house by the vibes of some painting she’s hauling around with her.

JoshA is still having problems with the Aberdeen house. The buyers want a three month extension which is like a death knell in real estate land. They decide to cancel the deal. JoshA is supposed to meet Brian Wilson at a tattoo parlor and it looks like he’s not going to show. Brian has left instructions for Josh to get a war eagle tattoo and he does, but just a stencil.

James and David have sellers that are very attached to their house, the one with the view. That means they won’t want to part with it under their asking price. Aww, the lady is crying about the house. I love my house too, but if I was getting 6+ million, I don’t know if I’d cry over it. It looks like they have a deal, but after they shake hands, Kris is having second thoughts about the 60 day something-or-other. A lot of this stuff always seems petty to me.

Commercial break. Okay, this is kind of cute. A guy bribes hotel personnel with Cheetos so he can use his float in the pool.

Kris says if they’ll do it in 30 days, he’ll kick in another 50K and make sure their move is smooth. Deal done.

Me too!

Oct15

October 14, 2015 — Port Charles, LA Ladies & Mansions

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Paul has plans to dismantle the Corinthos organization. Good luck. I’ve wanted it dismantled for at least 10 years, but no one listens to me. Plans have been set in motion, he says. Who talks like this? Paul tells Ava that there will be some “business associates” calling her and she says to find someone else. Ava wants to wait until she has full custody of Avery before she concentrates on mob business. Paul is extremely understanding and agreeable, which is surprising. He tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting married and it will be a tough fight. Since Paul is also the DA, can’t he pull some strings?

Everyone is getting Carly ready for the wedding. One of the kids says she has a lot of hair products and doesn’t travel light. I’ll bet. She’s got so much going on with her hair-do. Highlights, lowlights, a cut that needs maintenance, and probably extensions.

Lovey dovey stuff with Dante and Lulu. Valerie tells Nathan he has a big mouth and I agree. There is no hope of keeping anything a secret in this town.

Maxie tells Dillon he needs to confront his issues. No kidding. They’re down at the docks and see a body in the water. Carrrlos, perhaps? Jordan is pumping Anna for more Carrrlos info. They might have all they need in a minute. Jordan is actually believing that Carrrlos might have shot Sonny. This ought to be good.

Yep, it’s Carrrlos floating in the river. Except I thought his wallet was in the safe deposit box. Why is it now on his dead body? Did Paul somehow dredge the body up and plant it there? That seems crazy even for this show. It’s more believable that they forgot some continuity.

Sonny and Carly exchange vows that they apparently wrote themselves. Zzzzzz….  Wait. What? Her name is really Caroline? I’m sure someone is enjoying all this, but it’s not me. Her dress is beautiful though. Just before they’re pronounced man and wife, Dante’s phone rings. You mean to tell me he couldn’t put that thing on vibrate? Dante doesn’t know how to use his phone, but manages to shut it off. Reprieve.

Maxie and Dillon go to the station to give statements. Maxie says her brain is in a fog (when isn’t It?) and Valerie tells her to take a break. Maxie wonders why Valerie is being so nice because she was in a “scratchy” mood the day before. What kind of mood is that? Does she mean sketchy? Maxie brings up the pregnancy test to Valerie and she tells Maxie that it wasn’t hers and to mind her own business.

Paul goes down to the docks to pretend to investigate. Paul suggests Carrrlos was killed because Sonny wanted revenge, but aren’t they going to be able to tell how long he’s been dead, which is like 6 months?

After they finish the ceremony, Dante miraculously turns his phone back on and finds out about Carrrlos. This whole thing pisses me off because I liked Carrrlos and I wanted him to redeem himself and end up with Sabrrrina. Now that there’s a body, that will never happen. Well ,actually, who knows? Sabrrrina, who has an absolutely gorgeous dress on, is totally freaked out. Oooh, maybe that baby is Carrrlos’s, and there was more going on at her place when he was staying there than we know. Morgan gets paranoid (no surprise) and thinks Carly is looking at him funny. Sonny doesn’t believe his idiot son is even capable of carrying out that kind of thing, and thinks Ava must be involved.

Anna shows up at Ava’s gallery. Anna accuses Ava of covering up for whoever shot Sonny. Paul calls Anna and asks her to meet him at the docks. With the docks, it’s either feast or famine. Either nobody goes there for half a year, or everyone is congregating there.

Sonny makes a joke about honeymooning in Iowa because of the corn, and I’m wondering where the real Sonny is. Sonny and Carly make out in his hospital bed.

Sabrrina tells Michael that she’s known Carrrlos most of her life and she’s not buying that he shot Sonny.

Paul tells Anna that the body was Carrrlos. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Little Women LA

The ladies and their significant others are in Hawaii for Elena’s vow renewal. I honestly don’t get why the girls are so up-in-arms about Brianna having kept her marriage a secret for 5 minutes 4 months. It wasn’t like they were all supportive about the relationship. Perhaps if they hadn’t bombarded her with negativity on a constant basis, she might have done things differently.

The island is stunning and so is the hotel. It’s the first time Tonya has seen blue water and she’s really psyched. I’m so glad Terra’s husband, Joe, is on this trip because he cracks me up. When the girls are dancing around and Terra is shaking some booty, he says, “Let’s have some jelly with that roll!” My dad used to say that, along with, “It must be jelly, cuz jam don’t shake like that.”

These girls constantly come up with wild hairstyles, and Britney has some long cornrow/braids going on that have neon pink accents. I don’t think it’s something I could rock, but more power to her.

Christy wants to do a couple’s retreat thing (how long are they staying?) and wants to include Brianna and Matt, but they haven’t shown up yet. Joe suggests they all need couples therapy instead. Jasmine’s husband couldn’t make it, so she says that she and Britney will hang out when the couples do their thing. Jasmine also lets fly some information Matt told her about Todd, that he’d said he could “have Brianna any time he wanted.” (Has he looked in the mirror and then looked at Matt?)

Tonya has set up a surfing lesson for her, Terra and Britney, in the hopes that there’s just a miscommunication between the latter two and they can reconcile their differences. It doesn’t happen. Britney says she can’t focus because there’s a shark in the water – Terra – and Terra says her surf buzz is being harshed.

After the surfing lesson, Tonya, Terra and Britney are sitting on the beach. Tonya is desperate to chill, but she says, “all these heifers want to do is fight.” For whatever reason, Terra thinks Britney is going to cause a scene. Britney doesn’t get why and neither do I. She and Elana had a misunderstanding at the beginning of the season, but they got over it, so why can’t Terra? Especially since it had nothing to do with her.

Elena is panicking because there are still details to attend to and her dress isn’t fitting quite right. I don’t see it, but she’s the one wearing it. IMO, she could wear a potato sack and look fabulous. Brianna and Matt finally show up, and Elena tells them about the couple’s retreat Christy is setting up. Jasmine stops by Brianna and Matt’s room to give them a heads up about what they were discussing earlier. Matt didn’t think it was a big deal because Todd was drunk, but Brianna says Todd has made her uncomfortable a few times. We flash back, and yep, he did.

Now Britney has added a nose ring, but I’m not too crazy about the look. While the couples do their thing (I guess it’s a one day retreat), Britney tells Jasmine how Terra told her not to come to Hawaii. I love Terra, but that was not her call.

The place where the couples go for retreating is magnificent – lush greenery and flowers, a river running through it, and waterfalls. The couples are told to find a “sacred space” and put some kind of mud paint on each other. Already Christy is arguing with Todd about how he’s doing it. She feels he’s being thoughtless and aggressive. I think the argument is really about the comment to Matt. Todd says he’s no Picasso and she feels that he’s just not putting enough thought into it, or anything else where she’s concerned. Basically, she’s feeling unloved.

Christy can’t believe everyone else is having a good time and she and Todd are fighting. The “Big Kahuna” (the therapist) comes over. Christy says she knows when Todd is doing something with his heart in it or he’s just trying to get it over with, and that he says one thing, but does another. Todd says that a lot of things Christy wants to do, he physically can’t. Christy says that Todd is over 100 pounds overweight and isn’t addressing the issue. The Kahuna speaks softly to them and makes everything okay.

Ha-ha-ha! Joe’s hair! Terra did some kind of Mohawk thing with the mud/paint. The couples reconvene, and Christy walks away. Tonya follows her and Christy explains how disappointed she is in Todd’s physical limitations. Tonya is like, you knew he was overweight when you married him, and she’s right. Tonya thinks that some of this has to do with what Todd said to Matt. I said it first. After hemming and hawing for a while, Christy finally admits that it’s a factor. Told you.

Commercial break. I like pumpkin spice lattes too, but why does everything have to be pumpkin or pumpkin spice at this time of year? I saw a funny thing online that was a fake ad for pumpkin spice scented cat litter. I’ll bet a lot of people tried to buy it.

The others are hula-ing, and I have the feeling this joyous mood is going to be broken as soon as Christy comes back. She’s really pissed off that Brianna and Todd are pissing her off. Uh-oh, Christy says she has a question. Why didn’t Brianna tell anyone – meaning her – about getting married? Brianna answers honestly that she thought they didn’t care. Brianna is keeping her cool, but Christy goes apesh*t, calls them both a-holes, and says she’s done with the friendship. Geez, even if that’s the case, she could have conveyed it a little more diplomatically.

Ha-ha! Next week, Brianna will be telling everyone that Christy went apesh*t. Again, I said it first.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshF’s car has been saran wrapped with JoshA’s logo everywhere. JoshA says that JoshF has had everything handed to him his entire life, including his clients, and he doesn’t like that JoshA is successful. Oh, I see. In JoshF’s individual interview, he says that JoshA isn’t from the area originally. That’s his beef with him.

JoshA’s brother encourages him to make time for a relationship. Last season, Josh and his girlfriend, Heather, had gotten engaged. By the end of the season, the wedding had been postponed, but they’re still living together.

These guys all drive amazing cars. It’s not so much the sportiness that I like, but the seats look unbelievably comfortable. JoshF is taking a couple of developers to look at “view property.” He says something about a billion dollars and my mind goes blank.

Frick and Frack David and James show us some awesome software that can be used to show overseas clients a walk through without having to be there. I love stuff like that. They’re still trying to unload that apartment with the ghastly view. They did have an almost offer, but the broker has to contact her buyer.

Tom Brady is the name of Heather and JoshA’s tiny Yorkie. This has nothing to do with the episode, but I love gratuitous shots of tiny dogs. And he’s in a tiny cone of shame. Josh and Heather are having a date night. He’s dreading it because he needs to discuss the relationship. She wants to have kids, and he had agreed the time was right, but now he’s afraid that he won’t be around enough because of his job. If he’s being honest, I can see his point. He doesn’t want to be the guy who just shows up every third ballgame for 15 minutes, while still working on his cell phone; he wants to be the team’s coach. She seems okay with this, so okay.

JoshF’s developers think the property is a million too expensive at $7.2 . At a subsequent lunch meeting, Josh encourages the developers to take the deal because in the long run, they’ll make a lot more than the extra million they’ll spend now. We have a deal! $518,750 is Josh’s commission. I missed my calling.

James and his wife, Valeria, are also having a night out, for their 5th anniversary. They’ve been together a total of 8 years, so James has gotten a retrospective of their time together, with photos and videos. David is babysitting, so the kids probably won’t know the difference.

I really don’t know what “chef’s kitchen” means, but it looks wonderful. OMG, another gratuitous shot of Brady in a little suit jacket.

Valeria is wearing a dress with one of those patterns that, from a distance, makes the dress look like it’s streaked with blood. Note to self: check all patterns from a distance before buying. James has rented a movie theatre and he’s showing her their home movies. Here comes David (the producers must have made him grow a beard just so we could tell them apart) and the kids bearing gifts. Awww! David skedaddles, and the kids present their mom with a dazzling diamond ring from dad.

James gets an offer for the dreadful view. It’s under asking and they want the trees replaced to the tune of 100k. He gets David and JoshF on the phone. Josh calls the seller, who says the trees aren’t his problem and gives a counter offer. There’s always one tense going back and forth deal in every episode. The broker talks to James like he’s five, but the deal is made. This is the property from when they went door knocking, so not bad.

Next week, it looks like Brian Wilson is a client. It isn’t clear whether he’s a buyer or seller.

Other shows that I find worth watching, but don’t necessarily write about:

American Horror Story: Hotel (Oh my Lady Gaga!), Intervention, Scream Queens, Hoarders or the interchangeable Hoarding: Buried Alive (I love them! I love marathons of them!), Survivor (I haven’t watched it for a while, but I’m back with Second Chance), every court show on the air.

Oct8

October 7, 2015 — Port Charles & Double the LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Oh, look! It’s Felix! Where has he be–…he’s gone again. And while I’m on the subject, where has Brad been? And his boyfriend, the cop. It’s been so long, I can’t remember his name.

Sabrrrina explains to the two idiots, Michael and Morgan, that it’s too early to tell if Sonny’s paralysis is permanent. I’m sure Morgan will want to beat someone up over that. Or shoot someone. Or sleep with them. Corny stuff with Carly and Sonny continues.The two stooges descend on them because it’s a hospital and he’s just had major surgery, so everyone, come on in.

Emma, one of the cutest kids on the planet, and Anna are making necklaces. Sam walks in and Emma hides the necklace she’s making because it’s for her real mom (Robin) and she doesn’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings. I feel about kids on soaps about the same way I feel about getting hit in the head with a hammer, but the ones on GH blow me away. Emma remembers that the last time Patrick was getting married (to Sabrrrina), Robin showed up out of the blue and wonders if that will happen again. Now that she mentions it, me too.

Elizabeth gives “Jake” some BS about the Hayden phone call.

Nicholas asks Laura if she really thinks he could have someone killed. Hell yeah. She tells him that Elizabeth made a good case for it, which will probably get Elizabeth in trouble, which is okay with me, but why did she tell? Nicholas says, yeah, well, maybe he did that, but hasn’t Laura done some dumbass things? Like leaving him with the Cassadines to run away with Luke? To be fair, he is a Cassadine and she didn’t have anyone shot.

Just as Nicholas says “Blah-blah-blah ‘Jake’ is really Jason,” Jason Jake That guy shows up in the hallway right behind Hayden who’s been listening to the whole thing. Nice moment!

Anna assuages Emma’s fears about Robin, but then overly astute Emma asks what if someone else stops the wedding? That’s a good question, little kid. Somehow this turns around to everyone lighting candles in church. Because they’re all soooo spiritual.

“Jake’s” presence is made known. Hayden says she just wanted to know what was up with the memory she had and “Jake” is being overprotective of his fiancé. Laura questions whether Jake should be getting married, since he might have a family somewhere else. Nicholas tells her to shut the blip up. Not really, but he wants to. “Jake” says it’s all good, and if anyone was looking for him, he’d know it by now. He leaves, Laura goes upstairs to say good night to Spencer (where has he been?) and as soon as she’s gone, Hayden tells Nicholas she heard everything.

Ava has freaked out over a rash that baby Avery has and brought her to the hospital. Didn’t she raise Kiki? Who runs their second kid to the ER over a rash? She also runs into Sonny on his way to an MRI. Sonny is awfully damn perky to have just come out of major surgery and awfully tan too. He looks like he just came back from the Bahamas, and although I’ve never had an embolism, I have the feeling you don’t look all that great afterward. Hello? Director? Is this thing on? In the meantime, Carly and Dumb & Dumber are saying they need to tell Sonny that Ava has Avery.  Um…

I give my eldest dog, who just had her 13th birthday, a piece of egg and my other dogs stare at me like I’m a mass murderer. This isn’t part of the GH plot. I’m just wondering if you’re paying attention.

Sabrrrina and Felix are having dinner and drinks. Felix questions the fact that Sabrrrina isn’t drinking and doesn’t want a floating rib. He wonders if she’s pregnant. Even though she insists she isn’t, she tells him she’ll take a test in the morning. Ugh! Just what we need, another Corinthos, I mean, Quartermaine.

Sonny threatens Ava and then says he doesn’t want his MRI, that he’s taking his marbles and going back to his room. Lord help me. This character is so irritating sometimes, I can’t stand it. Carly is a day late and a dollar short, telling Sonny what he already knows when he gets back to the room. He asks Carly to marry him, they kiss, and I gag.

Sam is still questioning Anna as to whether they shouldn’t be looking for Carrrlos. Anna needs to make up something better, since Carrrlos killed Duke and Sam thinks she’d want his ass for that alone. I’d think the same thing.

Ava is still wandering around the hospital because it’s the social hub of Port Charles. Morgan starts hassling her and he does one of those things I hate, talks to the baby saying what he really wants Ava to hear.

“Jake” calls Sam and wants her to help him find out who he is before he marries Elizabeth. For someone who has so much work, I don’t see Sam do a whole lot of it.

Little Women: LA

All anyone can talk about is Brianna’s secret wedding to Matt, which is understandable. Christy’s husband, Todd, looks up the records online because no one has anything better to do, and it turns out they’ve been married for a while. They also bring up how Matt sent rude pics to some girl when he and Brianna weren’t together. While I’m not a fan of d*ck pics, they need to get over this already. It’s funny how in both this show and the OC Wives, the friends are more concerned about the other person’s love life than the other person is. Did that make sense? I love Brianna and Matt’s ring sets – he’s the “dark knight” and she’s the “glamorous queen.”

Terra is all shocked that Brianna kept the marriage from them. I don’t get that, since they were all so down on him. I do agree though, the announcement at Elena’s bachelorette party was pretty bad timing. Brittney, however, thinks it’s pretty “badass,” and I can kind of see it that way too. Brianna has been struggling with these friendships for a while, so even though I don’t think she meant it that way, it was kind of a big F-U.  In a flashback, they’re showing Brittney and her gigantic butterfly earrings are amazing.

Yay! It’s time to see Elena’s wedding dress! Absolutely anything would look good on her, so I can just imagine her draped in a white confection. Tonya nearly freaks out, seeing the dress before we do, and I can see why. It looks more like something you’d wear on your wedding night. Don’t get me wrong, it’s incredible, a lace dream, and she looks fabulous in it, but it barely covers her lady parts. Both Terra and Tonya are wondering how Elena and hubby Preston’s parents are going to react. Me too.  It must be nice to not be self-conscious though.

Despite their bad start, Tonya and Jasmine are friends now. They both have average sized children, so they have that bond. It must be challenging, because by the time the child is 5, they’re the same size as the mom. That’s one of the reasons I love this show. These are things that the average sized person doesn’t even give a thought too, and it’s good to expand your knowledge of how someone different from you deals with life.

Of course Jasmine knowing about Brianna’s marriage comes up. Jasmine is afraid this is going to affect her friendships with the other ladies, but IMO, it shows that she can totally be trusted with a secret.

Todd and Christy meet Terra and Joe for lunch at a really nice outdoor restaurant. I’m glad to see Joe. He hasn’t been around much. They say that Matt has kids who live with his ex (I assume their mom) and how could this be without him being a total lowlife?

For Elena, the upcoming party is more than a vow renewal. It’s everything she never got to do. She came to the US for a short trip from Russia and ended up marrying Preston. Last season, we learned that her first two years of life were spent tied to a bed in a hospital. It’s a real miracle that she turned out so well-adjusted. I once was on a team that took care of a child with institutionalized autism. He came from a similar situation, but in the Ukraine instead of Russia. I needed special training to learn how to teach and deal with him. I thought he was very bright, but he could also turn violent at a moment’s notice, and I did experience that. He and his parents eventually moved to Oregon where there was a facility that could handle his needs. No surprise there was nothing in this state.

Elena’s family arrives. They’re very cute. It would be good of her to translate though. Unless Preston knows Russian, which for all I know, he does.

Brittney and Terra are having a confab at Terra’s house. Terra says she wants to make sure Brittney isn’t going to create a problem in Hawaii. This is kind of stupid, since the issue she had with Elena is between them and all was forgiven. Terra and Brittney were both back-up dancers on Miley Cyrus’s tour, so Terra, having brought Brittney into the friend circle, feels responsible. Brittney says the whole thing with Elena was really Terra’s fault because she opened her big mouth. Terra tells Brittney she shouldn’t come to Hawaii, which really isn’t her place at all. I love Terra, but she can seriously be controlling. I’d tell her to bugger off.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh A. is making plans to change an address on one of his listings. It turns out changing an address can make more money. I can assure you, not if it’s changed to my address.

The twins James and David, and Josh F. are going to knock on doors and cold call in person for real estate listings. They say it’s a neighborhood that the Shahs of Sunset might like to live in and developers are very interested in buying at tear down prices and building more contemporary homes. That rubs me the wrong way and makes me think Joni Mitchell was prophetic in writing that “they paved paradise and put up a parking lot.” These houses are beautiful and have a lot of charm, but no one cares about that anymore. My sister got a degree in historical preservation, and moved to New Orleans thinking she could use it there. Instead, she found a bunch of Walmarts and got slammed by Katrina.

Josh F. left a business card at a house where no one was home, and he gets a call. Nice. Josh A. is having trouble generating interest in a property on Aberdeen, which sounds familiar to me, and I think it’s because Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out had a property there. It’s a fabulous property and the downstairs has a really nice recording studio, but the problem seems to be the high price.

The David/James/JoshF team check out the house Josh was called about. It’s a little modern for me, but if you wanted to give it to me, I’d take it. The outdoor space is gorgeous too, but then we see the view. An entire apartment building is looking down on it. The owner tells them the Cypress trees will grow a lot in a couple of years, but that’s not helping right now. They make a good point in that the owner is a developer and a sale would get his name out there. They have a deal. Sometimes this is kind of exciting.

David and James have a “spa day.” They do two minutes in a cryogenic chamber that seems scary and uncomfortable. No thanks.

After showing him several comps, Josh A. tells Aberdeen guy that if he doesn’t lower the price, he can’t list the house anymore for him. He gets the price reduction.

Did you know that parking a Lamborghini out front is foreign investor bait? Me neither. The J/D/JF team has decided to try and distract potential buyers from the ghastly view by putting a mermaid in the pool. It’s a freaking amazing house and if I had the money to buy it, I’d have enough for a house in the Hamptons when I wanted privacy and wouldn’t care less about the apartment building. The mermaid is cool and everyone loves it, but seriously, it doesn’t make the apartment building disappear.

Josh A. is still annoyed about the glitter bomb from last week, and when he sees that Josh F. is listing with the Double Mint twins, he makes plans to ruffle feathers. He Saran wraps his own advertisement all over (I think) David and Jame’s car at the open house.

Next week, Larry Flint is selling his home. That should be interesting.

Oct1

September 30, 2015 — Farewell September — GH & Lots of LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Running a little late. I come in to Morgan asking Ava not to fight for custody of her own daughter. At least she changed clothes. She’s now rocking a nice black and white body con dress, and another pair of cool earrings. I somehow think Morgan is the wrong guy to send on this mission.

Dillon is going to star in and direct his own film. Does he think he’s Clint Eastwood? Maxie practices the love scene with Nathan. Like this will help him be less jealous.

Dante needs to go back to detective school and/or math class.  He seems to have difficulty putting 2 and 2 together. He also seems to have difficulty not being chummy with Valerie.

Paul confronts Anna with the Carrrlos information and it’s fun watching her squirm. Anna says blah-blah-blah to Paul, trying to cover her tracks. I don’t think he’s buying it. She claims she had some other conflicts with Sloane and that’s why he’s trying to set her up. She says that it’s an unrequited love thing, and asks if Sloane had any proof. Paul makes a soap opera face.

Morgan admits to being a huge baby, hoping to win Ava over. Her consolation prize for handing Avery over will be him moving in. So instead of cleaning up after a real baby, she’ll get to clean up after a baby man. I don’t think this is a fair trade. Morgan asks if she “can’t do this one thing” for him. She tells him she’ll do anything for love, but she won’t do that. I don’t blame her. It’s not like he’s the ideal guy, especially when he’s in a manic phase. Did he get to that doctor yet? I’m thinking, no.

Even though Anna asked a really stupid question, Paul tells her that there’s no concrete proof. Anna tells Paul he shouldn’t waste his time with Sloane and he tells her that’s not a problem, since Sloane is dead. Ok, he didn’t add that last part, but he thought it in a flashback.

Dillon isn’t over Maxie and she catches him talking to himself about it. Uh-oh. Lulu just walked in on Valerie professing her love for Dante. This ought to lead to some questions.

Ava shows up to get Avery and we’re out.

Little Women LA

Tonya and Terra are planning Elena’s bachelorette weekend while discussing Brianna. It just so happens, at the exact same time in TV land, Brianna is visiting with Elena. Elena wants her at the party, even though the last time the ladies got together it didn’t go well.

Christy is out shopping with Autumn, her teenage daughter from a previous relationship. They both have surgeries coming up – Christy for her neck and Autumn for her legs. The leg surgery sounds like a nightmare. She’ll need to have her legs broken and reassembled. Autumn is concerned that if Christy gets pregnant, she won’t be able to look after her. This is a surprise to both Christy and me, since she’s never brought it up before. Kind of late in the game, since Christy and Todd have been trying to have a baby for two seasons.

Bikinis, booze and best friends are all Terra says you need for a great weekend. Sounds good to me. Elena is a little conservative and Terra thinks you can’t have a bachelorette party without penises and strippers. Um…I did.

The girls all go to Palm Springs, where they’ve rented a place. A gorgeous place. Brianna makes a good point in that when something bothers the other girls, they throw it at her rather than discussing it with her. Brianna has a secret too, something that’s stressing her out. Is she secretly married? Is she pregnant? What?

Elena springs the news that they’re going to have the vow renewal in Russia where she’s from. This doesn’t go over too big. Most people who have destination events don’t pick Russia. Although, it’s not as awful as you might think. When I was in high school, I took a trip there with some other Russian history students and we had a blast. And this was before the Iron Curtain came down. She’s just kidding, it’s going to be in Hawaii.

The girls get gussied up and go to a club called Toucan’s. Terra promised no strippers, but she didn’t promise there wouldn’t be drag queens. Elena gets pulled on stage to dance, but says she’s not drunk enough yet. So everyone does a shot. Now they’re all up and dancing. I’d totally get into going to this place. Back at the house and pool, Christy says she’s glad she’s sober when everyone is getting silly with a hot dog float. Brianna passes on the drinking and the pool party because she doesn’t want it to turn into a drunken brawl. Can I have her spot?

The next day they go to a humongous grocery store to get supplies for a barbeque. Jasmine tries to explain why Brianna is so upset, and that Brianna feels the others don’t really care about her. After all, they’re making this huge fuss over Elena, who’s married already, and aren’t even acknowledging Brianna’s engagement to Matt. Christy and Brianna have stayed behind and are having a confab. Brianna says she’s totally happy with Matt, and feels that she’s being attacked rather than supported. A few episodes ago, we’d found out that Matt sent nakey pics to another girl. Not that he deserves a prize for that, but they were broken up at the time, so I don’t get what the big deal is.

The ladies are boozing it up at home and playing some kind of truth game that involves a lot of sexual questions. ♫ La-la-la! ♫ Ok, I am really listening. Brittney starts weeping about her ex that cheated on her and is still calling her. I don’t think this is how you’re supposed to play this game. Time to eat.

Nice spread, but when is Brianna revealing that secret? Oh, that would be now. YES! I was right! She’s already married. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Commercial break. They always tease me with these Lifetime movies that look so good. This time it’s the 90210 movie. Lifetime always sucks me in and then the movies end up sucking. Even when they’re good, the endings always suck.

In her individual interview segment, Terra wonders what else Brianna’s been keeping to herself, since this is so huge. Jasmine already knew, but she’s the only one who’s been supportive. Everyone else is either shocked and/or offended, but I don’t get why. They’ve never liked Matt and have been rather vocal about that. I might have done the same thing in her position. One on one, Elena tells Brianna that she doesn’t know what to say and that Brianna’s timing is atrocious. She might be right with that one, since it was supposed to be her weekend.

I can’t wait to see Elena’s “wedding” dress. They showed a glimpse on the preview and it looks amazing.

Million Dollar Listing LA

Josh A. is all impressed with a house by architect Wallace Neff, but it looks industrial to me and it’s probably one of the few houses I haven’t been that thrilled with. The sellers want a buyer who’s not going to tear it down. Um…it’s not Grey Gardens.

Commercial break. I cannot wait for The People’s Couch to return. It’s one of the funniest shows on TV. I’d also like to know how I can get on it.

After throwing the huge Burning Man party and generating a lot of interest, David and James can’t get back onto the property to show it to anyone. They finally track down the owner’s father, who tells them his son is in Russia. (Lots of Russia going on tonight.) He also informs them that if they can’t get full asking price, his son is going to move in to the house. What they figure that means is, he doesn’t really want to sell it and has disappeared for the duration. David and James gain access to the house, but the ridiculous price is a turn off to the buyers. The house is $9,995,000. I hate when it’s not a round number. It reminds me of how things are priced for $9.99, like I don’t round that to ten bucks in my head.

Josh F. is making a video about one of the properties he’s selling. He pretty much stinks as a narrator and I’m surprised. I understand that he might not want to detract from the video tour, but he could show just a little more enthusiasm. He’s having exclusive showings for brokers, but everyone shows up all at once, so it turns out to be a not so exclusive open house instead.

James gets a gold star in my book when he says he works hard, but his wife works ten times harder staying home with the kids. That’s right. Being a mother is a job and not an easy one. No vacations or sick days for at least the first 18 years either. That’s why I don’t have kids. They have a really cute house that’s surprisingly not very ostentatious.

Josh A. is showing the Neff house and some guy says it would be great for his son to play hide and seek in. Would he like to adopt an older child? One of the buyers (who will be tearing it down) offers half a million over asking price, but wants the deal done in two hours or the offer is withdrawn. This sounds so stupid, that I’m thinking it must be a set up by Bravo.

The sellers aren’t keen on the buyer being a developer. The guy also says he doesn’t like a gun being held to his head either. I’m with him on that. An architect lover has also made an offer, but this time it’s under asking. The sellers decide to go for the money. Good choice. Seriously, it’s not Grey Gardens.

What’s kind of amazing is how young these guys are and how they’ve been plugging away at this since they were 12, and now they’re skabillionaires. When I was their age, I didn’t know what was going on. Hell, I don’t know now.

Oh Lord, one of Josh F.’s buyers has a man bun. I hear that contributes to baldness. Good. Guys need to stop wearing those.

David is growing a beard and I’m really glad because I can’t tell the difference between him and James. Both of them are recovering alcoholics too, which they discuss openly, so I’m not gossiping here, but it’s one more way I can’t tell them apart. They remind me of the twins Jeremy Irons played in Dead RIngers, except a lot cheerier. The broker who couldn’t get in to the property last week with James shows up for round 2, but isn’t pleased that there’s no wiggle room on the price. I fail to see why, when you’re paying millions, another $230,000 makes or breaks a real estate purchase. Sure enough, her client wants the house anyway.

Ooh, there’s going to be a mermaid in next week’s episode!

And Vanderpump Rules is back soon! Gratuitous shots of Giggy!