What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the hospital, Finn tells Elizabeth that he’s still on a sugar high, and she says, her too. She’s surprised her quietest evening should be Halloween. He tells her, don’t say that. She’s going to jinx it.

Carly and Drew kiss. She says she’s missed him and asks if he’s really here. He says he is. It’s like he’s woken up from a long nightmare. She says, but he’s home now, and he says he is, but he doesn’t know how he got released from Pentenville.

Football player Chase comes home and tells baseball player Brook that he got the assorted chocolates, and they’re the good kind. She says she can’t believe the stores weren’t out, and he says, the first two were, but he hit the jackpot on the third one. She says she’s sure he was the sexiest football player there, and thanks him for going. She looks in the bag, and says, these are the good kind. Too bad all the trick-or-treaters are home sleeping now.

Esme says she’s sorry Ace woke Laura up, but Laura says, he didn’t at all. She was up doing extra work, but she loves every moment she spends with her grandson. Besides, he’s a baby. He cries. That’s what babies do. Esme says she can’t believe she didn’t hear him cry. She should have woken up sooner. Laura says, it’s really okay. That’s why Esme is here with them, so they can help her. Esme asks why Laura is always so nice to her.

Sam and Danny walk into the apartment, and Dante asks how it went tonight… What’s up? Did something happen? Sam says, Danny’s not sure. Charlotte went missing, Jake went to look for her, and now they’re both missing.

Charlotte looks through Anna’s trunk in the dark using a flashlight. Anna is about to come in, but realizes the door is unlocked. She backs away and almost leaves, but stops. The flashlight goes out, and Charlotte messes with it, trying to get it to come back on. Anna takes her gun out of her waistband, and quietly pushes the door open. She sees the hooded figure and says, freeze. Because Charlotte is secretly an idiot, she turns around, the dead flashlight pointed at Anna, and Anna shoots. Charlotte falls to the floor. Jake calls to Charlotte and runs to Anna’s apartment. Anna turns Charlotte over and realizes it’s her.

Anna tells Jake to get the lights. She needs to see where Charlotte is hit. He turns on the lights and sprints over to them. Anna sees the wound is to the side of Charlotte’s stomach, and says she needs something to stop the bleeding. She tells Jake to take off his jacket and give it to her. Quick! She balls up the jacket, putting it against the wound, and tells Jake to call 9-1-1. She asks if Charlotte can hear her, and dispatch asks Jake, what is his emergency? He says, his friend needs an ambulance, and the operator asks if he can tell her what happened. He says, she was shot. Hurry! The operator asks the address, but he doesn’t know, and Anna says, 114 Clover Avenue, apartment 68. He repeats the address to the operator, and says, can they hurry please? She’s bleeding and she’s not moving. The operator says, the ambulance is on the way. What’s his friend’s name and how old is she? He says, Charlotte Cassadine; she’s 15. Please hurry. He asks why Anna shot her, because he too, is an idiot. Has everyone eaten too much candy?

Dante asks, what happened? and Danny says, Mr. Cassadine dropped them off at Harbor Vista to go trick-or-treating. It’s where Charlotte wanted to go. She said neighborhoods around there gave out the best candy. They went trick-or-treating, then a little bit later, stopped to check their bags and figure out what street to go down next. Dante asks if that’s when they noticed Charlotte was missing, and Danny says, yeah. They looked for her. Jake thought he saw her, but when he turned around, the person Jake was looking at was in the Hermit costume from the tarot. Dante asks if that’s what Charlotte was dressed up as, and Jake says, no, but it’s what she was originally going to go as, so if the person they did see was Charlotte, she must have changed her costume at some point. Sam asks if he knows why she wanted to go as the character from tarot, and Danny says, maybe she likes it. They were all at Kelly’s one day eating sundaes, and she said she learned to read tarot when she was away at boarding school in Switzerland.

Elizabeth says, after all the time she’s spent with Finn, she never pegged him as being the suspicious type, but he admits there are things that can’t be explained. Her luck tapping maple trees, for example. She says she has a knack for it. Or maybe she was a maple tree tapper in a past life, which sounds just as crazy as believing in a jinx. He says, laugh all she wants, but one of the weirdest nights he ever spent in the ER started with an intern saying, it’s gonna be a quiet night.

Laura says, why is she so nice to Esme? Because they’re family. Esme is the mother of her grandson; that means a great deal to her, and to Doc. Esme says, families aren’t always nice to each other, and Laura says she knows. Navigating family is tough for some. Esme says, that’s an understatement, especially considering who her parents are, and Laura suggests they focus on the present moment and the people who are here right now, like Ace, who she couldn’t possibly love more. She sees what a wonderful mother Esme is to him, and she can’t help but love Esme. So why doesn’t she just let go of all that guilt? Esme asks if Laura thinks she’s really doing a good job, and Laura says she’s doing a great job. She’s very impressed with how Esme is handling being a single mother and working at The Invader to support her son. Esme says, but Ace’s schedule is disrupting Laura’s life. She’s the mayor and has to put up with a teething baby when she has a million things to do. It’s not fair. Laura says, why doesn’t Esme let her be the judge of that? She loves having Ace here. She loves being able to help Esme with him. Esme says, and she’s been so generous, and it’s been so great, but they can’t stay here anymore.

Chase wonders if he was too generous to the trick-or-treaters earlier, and Brook says, he gave three extra candy bars to three kids dressed in Star Wars costumes, so what does he think? He says, that’s because they looked awesome. Now he feels bad that she had to turn kids away while he was out searching for candy. She reaches for the bowl, but he pulls it away, saying, he doesn’t want to run out again. She says, if they do, she’ll just give out more granola bars, and he says, she didn’t. She says, there was nothing else. She couldn’t just turn them away with nothing. He says, granola bars? That was his worst nightmare as a kid. It was like getting a box of raisins. She says she thinks the granola bars were fine, but he says, no way. He wants their apartment to be primo trick-or-treat territory, not a candy desert. She takes the bowl from him, puts it on the table, and says, there’s always next year. At least they get trick-or-treaters. Every year, her family opens the main gate, and they never get trick-or-treaters. He says, that’s probably for the best. Can she imagine little kids walking up to the Quartermaine mansion and Tracy answering the door? She’d be judging them the whole time. Yours is too tacky. What are you supposed to be? He laughs like a witch, and she asks if he’s implying that her grandmother is a certain Wicked Witch.

True story. I understand about the granola bars. I’ve never given them out, but one year, I thought I was going to have to give out granola bars or instant oatmeal packets, when I nearly ran out of candy. We had an extreme number of kids that year, and my supply was dwindling by 7 pm. I called my neighbor who I knew went all out, and asked if he had any extra. He said he was just about to call me. Thank God I squeaked by, and no granola bars had to be given out. Moving on.

Drew tells Carly that when he got out of the hospital and landed back in Pentenville, they immediately put him in solitary. She asks if they said why, and he says, the guards claim it was for his own protection; they couldn’t protect him unless he was removed from the other prisoners. But then, out of the blue, they took him out of there. They said Judge Kim decided the sentence he’d handed down was too harsh, and that’s when they released him, but he doesn’t know why. Does she?

Anna tells Jake that they’ve got to get Charlotte’s legs up because she’s bleeding, and he puts some throw pillows under her legs. Anna says, good. Talk to her. Just say her name. He tells Charlotte that she’s going to be okay. He’s here. Anna asks if she can hear them, and Jake says, the ambulance is on the way. Valentin comes in and runs to Charlotte, asking, what happened? Jake says, she was shot, and Valentin says, what? Did somebody call an ambulance? Anna says, they’re on their way, and Valentin tells Charlotte, papa’s here. Anna tells Jake to stand by the door; make sure they see him.

Danny tells Dante that they split up to look for Charlotte. Jake went in the direction of the person in the Hermit costume, and he and Georgie went the other way. Dante asks when they found Mr. Cassadine, and Danny says, right after that. They met back at the place they were supposed to meet. When they told him that they couldn’t find Charlotte, he got really scared. He told Danny to call his mom so she could pick up him and Georgie, and he could go look for Charlotte. Sam says, he did good. He followed Mr. Cassadine’s orders and waited there until she could come and get him. Danny asks if he’s in trouble, and Sam says, of course (🍷) not. Why doesn’t he go upstairs and get ready for bed? Tell Scout and Rocco to do the same thing. He asks if he can take his candy, but Dante says he and Sam have to look through it first. Then they’ll bring it to him. (Slick! They’re going to steal their favorites out of it.) Danny goes upstairs, and Dante says, he can’t imagine what Valentin was thinking, leaving Georgie and Danny alone like that to look for Charlotte. (For God’s sake, they’re not 5.) Sam says she doesn’t like it either, but in Valentin’s defense, he could reasonably assume that Danny and Georgie could make it home safely. She’s just glad they have a level-headed kid who knew to call them. Dante’s phone rings, and she says, he’s not off administrative leave three hours and they’re calling him? He says, Falconari… What?… When?… He’ll be right there. He tells Sam, there was a shooting. The address is Maxie’s old apartment.

Carly tells Drew, Alexis interviewed Judge Kim. She said she wanted to highlight his tough on crime stance, and during the interview, she brought up allegations of inappropriate gifts, specifically an expensive trip he received from a prominent businessman. In other words, Kim was bought and paid for. He asks how Kim responded. Did he say anything incriminating? She says, no. He denied it all and stormed out of Alexis’s office. He says, Kim must have known Alexis was on the right track, and Carly says, absolutely. He must have been afraid that a very sexy Navy SEAL who served his country, who was handed down a very harsh sentence, could draw too much attention to him. It could put a very big wrinkle in his ambitious career. Drew asks why Alexis wanted to do the interview. How did she know he was corrupt? Carly says, from her.

Chase tells Brook that he never said that Tracy was a Wicked Witch. She’s difficult… and direct, but everybody knows she’s direct. She is who she is. Brook says, there’s definite similarities between Tracy and a certain Witch of the West, especially when she’s trying to be generous and ends up blackmailing you. He says, this isn’t about the way he feels, is it? This is about Tracy’s claim that she stole Deception to give it to Brook. She says, yeah, and she and granny finally had it out.

Finn tells Elizabeth, everything that could go wrong that night did go wrong. There was nothing tragic, but sort of a series of freakish events. There was dropped trays, a crashed mail cart, the computers crashed, they lost wheelchairs. It all culminated in him delivering a baby stuck in an elevator. She says, crashed mail carts? and he says, that was her one takeaway? She asks if it was his first time delivering a baby, and he says, yes. It was the mother’s fourth child, and lucky for him, she knew what she was doing. She basically talked him through it. Mom and the baby came through just fine. Him? Not so much. He didn’t go anywhere near the OB/GYN for the rest of the year. So the moral of our story is… She says, stay off elevators with pregnant ladies, but he says, wrong. No matter how quiet the night seems, you never say it out loud.

Laura asks Esme what she meant, and Esme says, it’s time for her and Ace to find a place of their own. Laura says she didn’t see that coming at all. It feels sudden to her. Did something happen that makes her feel like she has to go? Esme says, nothing specific. The apartment just feels crowded with everyone living here, and she really doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. Laura says, the apartment doesn’t feel crowded to her. They all have their own bedrooms, and it’s big enough that if you want alone time, you can have it. Unless Esme is feeling crowded by someone in particular. Would this have something to do with Spencer?

The paramedics put Charlotte on a stretcher, and wheel her out. An EMT says, they’ll be transporting the patient to GH, and Valentin says he’s the father; he’ll be riding with them. Dante has shown up, and sees Valentin leave with the paramedics. He goes inside the apartment, and he and Anna look at each other.

Drew says, Carly’s the one who got Alexis to interview Judge Kim? and she says, Sonny went to Alexis first, but she’s the one who got the information about the vacation from a regular here at Kelly’s who’s the regular pilot for the businessman. Kim was a passenger on his private jet. Drew says, that’s kind of incredible. He definitely owes Alexis and Sonny a debt of gratitude. She says, and Diane Miller too, because she provided Alexis with a lot of important information, and he says he’ll thank all three of them, but Carly is the real hero here. It kind of makes sense that she’s the one to save him. She says she’d do anything to save him. She’s the reason he was in prison to begin with. He says, that’s not what he meant. He meant how smart and clever and incredibly beautiful she is. She’s his hero. She kisses him.

Esme tells Laura, it’s hard living with Spencer. Living with him and sharing the responsibilities of Ace makes it really complicated, and she thinks she’s started to develop feelings for him. She guesses if she’s being honest, she can’t help but feel drawn to him. Laura says, everything Esme is saying is completely natural, and Esme says, it is? Laura says, yes, of course (🍷). They’re in close proximity, and Spencer is the one she’d go to if she had a question or issue about Ace. Spencer has sort of taken on the role of father to her son… Does she think it’s all stemming from living here with Spencer, or does she think something else could be prompting this? Esme says, like what? and Laura says, like maybe Spencer’s relationship with Trina?

Danny comes downstairs and tells Sam that Scout and Rocco are already asleep. Where’s Dante? He wants Dante to go through his candy so he can have some. Sam says, he got a work call, but said he’d be here in the morning so he can have breakfast with all three of you kids. Is he okay? He says he texted both Charlotte and Jake. He still hasn’t heard from them yet. She asks him to go through the bowl of candy and see if he can find one of those taffies she loves. (Ooh, is it the chocolate one? I love that too. It’s tastes like a YooHoo.) He says he doubts there’s any left. He saw Scout go through them. She says, give it a shot. If he finds one, she’ll split it with him. He digs through the bowl, and she asks if he knows what’s going on with Charlotte. He says, she seemed pretty excited about trick-or-treating, and she asks if he’s okay. He says he’s been thinking. What if Charlotte didn’t take off? What if someone grabbed her? He bets that’s what Mr. Cassadine was thinking when he took off, leaving him and Georgie. Sam says she’s going to be really honest with him right now. She’s a little worried about Charlotte too, but they can’t jump to the worst scenario. Let’s just send out good, positive thoughts to her until they find her and get her home. He says, okay, and she tells him to remember that Charlotte is independent, and she does have a little mischievous side to her. So this all could be a simple Halloween prank that went wrong.

Dante asks if Jake is okay. He has a few questions for him, and then he’s going to take Jake home. Jake says he wants to go to the hospital. He needs to see Charlotte. Please. His mom’s working tonight; she’ll be there. Dante says, okay, and asks Jake to hang with the officer here for a minute. He’s got to talk to Anna, and then they can go to the hospital together. Jake goes out to the hallway, and Anna tells Dante that she left her apartment a little before 9, and locked the door. When she came back, the door was unlocked, so she realized someone was inside the apartment. She takes a shaky breath, and he asks if she wants to sit down, but she says, no. She drew her gun because she knew someone was inside the apartment – she starts to cry – and she opened the door really slowly and there was movement over by the trunk. The person turned toward her with what appeared to be a weapon in their hand, so she fired. She discharged her weapon on a child. She begins to sob, and Dante holds her.

Carly says she can’t believe Drew’s here. When he was in surgery, and she didn’t know if he was going to make it, she couldn’t stop thinking about how she was responsible for setting all this in motion, and she just wants him to know – and hear her please – she’s sorry. She’s so, so sorry. He says, it’s over now. It’s over. Except for six months’ probation. She says, Judge Kim gave him six months’ probation? That’s ridiculous. He already served enough unnecessary time in prison with hardened criminals who almost killed him. He says he’ll be fine. He won’t so much as jaywalk. What matters now is that he’s home with the women that he loves. She says, women? and he says, yeah. Her and Scout.

Brook tells Chase that Tracy has her faults, no doubt, but she truly believes Tracy wants to provide for her; that Tracy is genuinely concerned about her future. He says, sometimes people have weird ways of showing their love, and Brook says, Tracy’s pointed out on multiple occasions that she no longer has a stake in ELQ. So Deception is Tracy’s way of providing for her financial future. She’s told Tracy tons and tons of times, but she just doesn’t seem to understand, her future, her love is in music. And she is 100% committed to being a music manager. He says, she needs to follow her dreams and stick to them, and she says, that is exactly her point. If she had Deception to fall back on, it would just undermine her confidence in herself. It would be like admitting she doesn’t have what it takes to make it in the music world. He says, they both know she has what it takes, and she thanks him. She says, she just feels so terrible about Tracy hijacking Deception from Lucy, Maxie, and Sasha. The three of them should be running Deception, not Tracy, and definitely not her. Chase says he has a simple solution, and she says she’d love to hear it. He says, let Tracy give her Deception, and then she can sign it over to Maxie, Lucy, and Sasha. (That was my idea, and probably most of the audience, two seconds after Tracy told her.)

Charlotte is wheeled into the hospital and met by Elizabeth, Finn, and Austin. The EMT says, 15-year-old female, GSW to the abdomen, unconscious and lost a lot of blood. Austin says, her pulse is weak and thready; she’s hypokalemic. He tells them to get her to Trauma 1, and they jet with the gurney. Elizabeth grabs Valentin and asks, where’s Jake? Where’s her son?

Anna looks at the bloodstain on her carpet, and Dante says, CSI is on their way. He sees Charlotte’s backpack, and asks if Anna knows whose it is, but Anna says, no. Jake says, that’s Charlotte’s. She had it with her tonight. Can he take it to her at the hospital? Dante says, not tonight, and tells an officer to make sure CSI bags it as evidence. He tells Anna that he’s going to need her gun, and still crying, she puts it in an evidence bag the officer is holding. Jake asks if he can please go see Charlotte now, and Anna says, take him to the hospital. Elizabeth will have heard all about this and needs to know her son is okay. Just take him. She’ll stay with the officers, and they can take her into custody.

Carly hands Drew a vanilla shake and says, honestly, it’s all she has. The kids at the Halloween party ate everything. They even ate two of Aiden’s pies. Drew says, Elizabeth told him that Aiden’s baking, and Carly says, yes and he’s incredible. He asks if the kids had fun, and she says, they did. They played cornhole outside. It was hilarious, but they had a great time. He asks if Scout was here, and Carly says, she was. He should have seen her. She was so cute. She was dressed up as a scarecrow (oops). She had a blast. She misses him like crazy though. He says he misses Scout so much. He can’t wait to see her. He’s going to see her first thing tomorrow. Can he tell Carly something? She says, yeah, and he says, this is the best vanilla shake he’s ever had in his entire life. She laughs and takes a sip. She agrees it’s good, and they kiss.

Austin says, blah-blah-blah, medical stuff, protocol. He says more medical stuff and asks them to call radiology. They need a stat X-ray and give him the ultrasound.

On the phone, Elizabeth says, let her know when the OR is ready, and Finn asks what Valentin said about Jake. She says, he’s safe. He’s with Dante and the police, but he’s not answering his phone. Jake comes in with Dante, and Elizabeth runs to him, hugging him. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he is. He asks, where’s Charlotte? He needs to see her. Elizabeth says, the doctors are with her now, and he asks if she’s going to be okay.

Esme tells Laura that Spencer’s relationship with Trina is a huge part of why she needs to move out, but it’s also what’s so complicated. Laura says, complicated how? and Esme says, because of Trina. Laura says, because Esme doesn’t want to hurt her? and Esme says, of course (🍷). That’s the thing. She really likes Trina. Trina is so nice, and she’s seen how Trina is with her son. She’s so thoughtful of him; always bringing him little gifts and stuff. Laura says, she is a really lovely young lady, but she and Esme have quite the history. Esme says, that’s what she’s been told, but oddly, Trina seems to be the one who blames her the least, unlike other people. And her mom, Dr. Robinson, is so helpful. Laura asks, how so? and Esme says, Dr. Robinson is the one who suggested she and Spencer take the parenting class over the summer at GH. It’s been really helpful. It really took a lot of pressure off of them and helped bring her and Spencer together… for Ace’s sake, of course (🍷). Laura says, yes, of course (🍷), but still, it had to hurt Esme if she had feelings for Spencer. Esme asks, what doesn’t hurt her? She’s a girl with no past. She’s like a ghost walking through a town full of people who only know the old her and really have no interest in knowing the new her. There’s just something really familiar about Spencer, and she thinks she wants to latch on to anything that is familiar, even when she knows it’s not real or possible.

Danny tells Sam that he should have kept them all together, but Sam says, they’re his friends. It’s not his responsibility to keep them in line. He knows that, right? He says, maybe it wasn’t his job exactly, but Charlotte listens to him. When she was staying with them and left her stuff all over the bathroom, when he asked her to pick it up, she would. Not all the time, but she listened to him the most out of everyone. He needed to step up. She asks if he knows who he reminds her of right now, and he says, dad? She says, yeah, his dad. And just like his dad, he wants to take responsibility for the whole world, but he can’t. Nor can he fix everyone’s problems. Why don’t they wait until tomorrow to figure out the candy? He says, wait. He found one. It’s the last one. He hands it to her, and she says she knew if there was one left, he’d be the one to find it. She thanks him.

Dante tells Elizabeth that Jake was great. He called 9-1-1 and held Charlotte’s hand. He talked to her until the paramedics got there. He was a real hero. Elizabeth says she’s sure Charlotte knew he was there the whole time, and Jake says, it was an accident, right? Anna didn’t mean to shoot Charlotte, did she? Dante looks at Elizabeth.

Anna is standing in the hospital hallway, and Finn asks if she’s okay. She says she just wants to know if Charlotte’s out of danger, and he asks if she wants to sit down. She asks if he knows. Has he heard anything? Is she stable?

Austin says, they need to get her stabilized, and gives the nurse instructions. He asks if the other nurse has heard from the OR. They really need to get her up there before she crashes. Hanging up the phone, the nurse says, the OR is ready for him, and he says, okay. Everything’s good. The gurney is wheeled to the elevator, and Valentin jumps up. He tells Austin, save his daughter, please, and Austin says, they’re going to do everything they can. Valentin tells Charlotte that he’s here and she’s going to be okay. He’s right here. Charlotte is taken into the elevator and the doors close. Anna approaches Valentin, and he says, why? (Why? This is his fault.)

Drew says he doesn’t want Carly to think of anything except going for a night out with him. Some champagne, maybe a little dessert. She says, not a Kelly’s vanilla milkshake? and he says he wouldn’t trade tonight for anything. He loved everything about it. He loves her. She suggests they get out of here, so he can show her how much he loves her, and he asks if they’re going back to her place. He seems to remember how incredibly comfortable her bed is. She kisses him and says she’s going to get her coat. She goes in the back, and he gets up. He clutches his side.

Brook says, Chase is the sweetest man, and he asks if that’s supposed to be a compliment. She says, he’s sweet and kind and just a little naïve when it comes to granny. There is no way Tracy would just sign Deception over to her, for the exact reason he just mentioned. Tracy is a lot of things, but stupid she is not. Tracy would never risk her giving Lucy back the company. He says, she’s probably right, and she says she can see Tracy keeping some level of power. Like becoming the President of the Board. He says, okay, so what’s the next steps? but she says she doesn’t know, but it’s going to have to be something a lot more devious if she’s going to outmaneuver her grandmother. He asks if they can not scheme tonight, because tonight is Halloween, and that only comes once a year. So let’s focus on that, not Tracy. She says, okay. Tricks or treats? He says, treat, and they kiss.

Laura says she understands where Esme is coming from and thinks Esme may be right to put a little space between her and Spencer right now. Just so she can continue to forge her own new path. Esme asks if she thinks so, and Laura says she does. And by the way, she is interested in getting to know the new Esme. Esme thanks Laura for supporting her and says she knows it won’t be easy, especially with Ace leaving too. Laura asks if she’s thought at all about where she’ll live, and Esme says, there are rooms available above Kelly’s. She talked to Carly Spencer about it and thinks that’s about all she can afford on her receptionist’s salary. Plus, it does keep her in Port Charles, which is what she knows Laura would want. Laura thanks her and says, it would mean so much to her to be able to watch Ace grow up. She doesn’t want Esme to worry, so she’s going to help Esme with the rent, but Esme says, no. She’s lived here since Ace was born, and Laura hasn’t asked her for a cent. She can’t take anything more from Laura. Laura says she insists, because Esme is family, and the most important thing right now is that she and Ace have a safe and comfortable home. Esme thanks her and says she’ll think about it. She’s going to check on Ace. She really does think this is what’s best for both her and Ace. Laura says she thinks Esme may be right, and Esme leaves. Laura wonders what Spencer is going to think.

Sam turns out the lights, when her phone rings. She asks if everything is all right, and Dante says, the shooting victim at Maxie’s apartment was Charlotte. She says, what? Tell her that Charlotte is okay. Please. He says, she’s in surgery right now, and she asks, who shot Charlotte? He says, Anna did.

Anna tells Valentin, it happened so fast. It was dark. She thought it was an intruder. She didn’t know it was her. He says, please, he can’t do this, and she says, he doesn’t understand. It was an accident. She didn’t know it was her. He says he can’t do this right now, and Dante comes over and says he has to take Anna in for some questions, and they walk away. Jake approaches Valentin, and says he’s so sorry. He tried to catch up with Charlotte, but he wasn’t fast enough. Valentin says, it wasn’t his fault, and looks over at Anna. She leaves with Dante.

Tomorrow, Drew tells Sam that there’s so much he needs to make up for; Curtis asks what someone’s secret is; Jordan tells Robert that they need to bring in an outside investigator; and Anna tells Sonny that if Charlotte doesn’t make it, it’s her fault.

Below Deck Mediterranean

While she’s in her bunk with Luka, Natalya’s boyfriend AJ calls. Luka laughs, and tells her to take it, but she says, it’s not funny; it’s her f***ing life. Luka says he can’t get laid, and leaves the cabin. Natalya says she hates herself, putting us in the same club, since I hate her too. Lara says she’s still drunk, and Natalya says, if the boat burns, she’s going with it. She’s an emotional wreck and doesn’t know what’s happening. In Natalya’s interview, she says she’s realized she doesn’t want to be in an open relationship. Something all of us realized in the first episode. She says she’s not supposed to be with anyone else, but he is and it’s not okay with her. We flash back to their last call, and Natalya says, another person came along who’s in her heart, but because of her boyfriend, she had to push him away. This girl has messed up thinking in so many ways, I don’t have time to list them. I assume she’s a mean girl because of the crap she allows herself to take from men, but still, no excuse. Captain Sandy calls Luka, Jack, and Tumi to the crew mess for a preference sheet meeting. The captain says, Amanda Britte books event spaces and is a party planner. She’s bringing her closest friends, and they want a casino atmosphere on the yacht. Tumi reads that they love espresso martinis and margaritas. Her kind of girls. The captain says, it’s four girls. Get ready. Jack reads that they like Mediterranean cuisine, and one of them wants no meat except seafood. He concludes that she doesn’t know what she wants. Captain Sandy tells Jack and Luka that they know the line. Don’t cross it. In Jack’s interview, he says he’s crossed it a few times, but you can either do that or be a chef. Kyle asks Jess if she’s confident on service. He’s exhausted. In Jessika’s interview, she says, she’s mentally geared to do housekeeping, but she’s happy to take one for the team. She’s a go with the flow girl. Kyle says he also thinks it’s fair that she do service too. The crew gets the boat ready, and Kyle says he hates all-girl trips. They do cute, weird sh*t that no one thinks is funny except them. Tumi says, it will be fun, and in Kyle’s interview, he says he’s more experienced on service, but depending on how crazy they are and the demands they make, he needs his energy. Haleigh tells Lara that she thinks a good job for her would be hugging walruses, and in Haleigh’s interview, she says she’s going to hug walruses and sell feet pics to compensate. In Luka’s interview, he says, Max is the biggest learning curve he’s been thrown. He thinks there’s literally a cartoon going on in Max’s head; random voices bouncing around. AJ calls Natalya, and she says she tells him everything, and now she’s sick as sh*t about kissing someone for one second. Yet he can go home with anyone. What does he want? If he said she was the only one he wanted to be with, it would be only him for her. She’s trying to get a mindset. She asks if he wants her on a plane. She’s not doing anything. She told him what happened, and he acted like she was moving away with the person. She needs a couple hours to think. They’ll talk later. In the crew mess, Kyle says, AJ is not nice, and Natalya wants to leave, but he said, nope. Tumi is like, why? Max looks at the photos of the incoming guests and says, pretty, but Luka says, the trip is not for jiggy-jiggy. Kyle tells Tumi about his plan for him and Jessica to switch positions, and she laughs. In Tumi’s interview, she says, Kyle is trying to put her on the spot to get out of service. Cute. Try again next week.

Jessika has washed a sandwich in with her laundry, and says she’s confused. Max lounges on deck and yawns. Natalya predicts this charter will be a ballbreaker, and Jessika tells her that Kyle wants her on service. Natalya says, Kyle doesn’t want to be on service, and Jessika says, Tumi laughed. Natalya says, Tumi thinks Jessika can’t do it, and in Jessika’s interview, she says she’s confused. Natalya is making her think that Tumi doesn’t believe she’s capable. She feels it’s out of character for Tumi to be talking sh*t about her, and she wonders what switched. Kyle says he’s off duty, emotionally and workwise.

5 hours before charter. Haleigh asks if they’re ready to seize the goddam day, and Jack says he’s going to wow them with seafood. Jessika wants to talk to Kyle and asks him about Tumi laughing. She wonders if she’s being belittled. Kyle says, it’s not fair if everyone doesn’t do service. Just keep a smile on her face. He’s here. Provisions come in, and Captain Sandy says, teamwork makes the dream work. I was hoping we could get through an episode without that and/or a baseball reference. Natalya avoids Luka, and in Luka’s interview, he says, the AJ situation is affecting Natalya a lot, but he’s respecting her boundaries. Kyle tells Natalya that Jessika is pissed off about how the service situation was handled, and Natalya says, Tumi has to chill the f*** out. In Natalya’s interview, she says, Tumi realized that she and Jessika were running the show before she got there. She’s bothered that she can’t confront Tumi.

Tumi tells the interior to get in their whites, and Captain Sandy calls the crew to the dock for arrival. Lara says she’s going to propose to one of these women. Primary Amanda introduces herself, and so do guests Delaney and Leni. I guess the others don’t have names. In Jack’s interview, he says, I can’t cross the line… I can’t cross the line… The captain welcomes them aboard and says, Tumi will show them around. Lara says, surely, one of them must be a lesbian, and Tumi says she has tequila shots and champagne. She gives the guests the tour, and Natalya tells Luka that Tumi was talking sh*t. She laughed about Jessika being on service. In Natalya’s interview, she says she’s keeping her distance from Luka, but he’s the person she confides in. She’ll have to put on a chastity belt. The captain tells the crew to prepare for departure. Natalya texts AJ and says, she’s not doing anything with anyone, but they have to talk boundaries. Lara is struggling with a ground line, and Captain Sandy wonders why it’s taking so long.

Lara asks Max to help, as the fenders crunch against the next boat’s fenders. She says, there’s too much line out, and in Max’s interview, he says, the mistake he made two days ago is having repercussions. The guests want to see the galley, and Jack says, this is where the magic happens. In Jack’s interview, he says he promises he’ll be good this charter, and winks. Lara tells Max that he could have brought the line in, but it’s okay; he’ll learn. In Lara’s interview, she says she has to do it in a way that he still respects her. It’s like instructing a little child. It’s going be okay, little Max. The guests request Max’s presence, and Kyle brings him in. Leni says she loves his accent, and in his interview, Max says, we have the master jedi of sex in the boat. Lunch is ready, and Natalya asks Luka if he’s going to date Jess now. He says, yes, but Jessika says, no. Natalya says, rejected. Jack helps bring up the seafood extravaganza, and in his interview, he says, it looks unbelievable, but the seafood towers are super easy to make. He’s not Harry Potter anymore. He feels like James Bond this charter. Jack makes a return appearance after the meal, and the guests cheer, giving lunch a 10 out of 10. He tells them that each course at dinner will be from a different country. When he gets back to the galley, he says he feels like Gordon Ramsay. Natalya says she thought she and Tumi turned a new page, and Jessika says, maybe it’s her. She wasn’t here the last time. Natalya says, it’s not her, and in Jessika’s interview, she says, growing up, her stepdad would shut her down any time she had an attitude or opinion. She realized that she caused more hurt to her family if she had an opinion. She had to learn to stand up for herself as an adult. She’s still learning. In Kyle’s interview, he says he’s gay, and there’s nothing up there for him. The guests use the slide and jump off the boat. Lara puts soap on the slide to make it more slippery. Jessika finds Tumi and says she wants to clear the air. When Kyle mentioned putting her on service, Tumi laughed. She’s not sure if Tumi was laughing at her because she doesn’t think Jessika is capable.

Tumi says, Jessika is interpreting it wrong. She was laughing because Kyle was running away from service. Jessika says she could have sworn they were just out drinking and Tumi had said she was doing good. The way Kyle said it, it seemed like Tumi thought she was green. Tumi says, Kyle is not running away, and Jessika tells her that Natalya also said Tumi was making fun of her. Tumi says, it literally has nothing to do with Jessika, and in Tumi’s interview, she says she respects Jessika for coming to her. She thought she and Natalya had made peace, but Natalya is stirring the pot. It’s mind boggling. Tumi and Jack confer on the dinner menu, and in Jack’s interview, he says, it’s going to be a tasting menu; everything but the kitchen sink. It’s what he’s good at even though it makes his job harder. Haleigh and Max dance around on deck, and Luka tells them to bring the water toys in. Lara tells Max that he’s doing amazing, and in Max’s interview, he says he’s giving like crazy. Lara giving him a compliment makes him feel powerful. The guests get ready for dinner. Jack has Tumi taste his stew, and she says, that’s fire. The guests are seated and from around the globe comes… food porn! Natalya tells Jessika that she’s confused as to whether Tumi is nice or not. Jessika says, that’s a conversation Natalya will have to have with Tumi. In Jessika’s interview, she says she’s hesitant to talk to Natalya. She doesn’t want to tell her that she talked to Tumi at all because Natalya has her own agenda. She doesn’t want drama. She’s a peacemaker. The guests talk about Diplo and how they know tons of women who have slept with him. In Jack’s interview, he says he hates sh*t like positive vibes only, but he’s a product of the people he’s around. If he’s around people moaning, he moans. He still has a bond with Natalya, but he’s focused on the guests. He says, when he’s the adult, you know you’ve hit rock bottom. The guests pronounce dinner perfect and so good. Natalya calls AJ and asks if he slept with someone last night. Apparently, he did, and she says, he made her feel like absolute sh*t just for kissing someone, and he’s f***ing a girl from the club. He’s a f***ing liar. Kyle vacuums as the guests continue to party, and one of them tells him that vacuuming is stupid and he doesn’t have to do it. In Kyle’s interview, he says, it’s going on f*** o’clock. This is why he wanted a break and to not be on service. All these women are exhausting. One of the guests says she loves Kyle more than she loves her parents. The guests finally go to bed at 3:15, and at 6:30, most of the crew is getting up. Natalya goes to see Captain Sandy on the bridge, and says, this isn’t a positive conversation. The captain invites her to sit down and asks, what’s wrong? Natalya says she doesn’t think she’s mentally doing well, and Captain Sandy asks, why? The boyfriend? Natalya says she’s coping, and the captain says she’s sorry. Natalya asks, how many more charters? and the captain says, five. She doesn’t want Natalya to leave. Methinks Natalya needs some attention.

Captain Sandy tells Natalya that she’s safe and she’s okay. They have her. Kyle and the other people care about her, and this will pass. This feeling will pass. One day at a time. (Ha-ha! The captain is twelve-stepping her.) Sometimes you need those days when you have to deal. Feel sad, then make a decision as to what’s best for herself. The captain gives Natalya a hug. Disappointing me greatly, Lara tells Natalya about Kyle saying she wanted to leave, but he told her not to, and Tumi saying he should have told her to go. In Lara’s interview, she says, at this stage, she’s closer to Natalya than anyone else (translation: she wants to hit on Natalya more than anyone else), and she would want to know if someone said that about her. Natalya wonders what Tumi’s issue is, and Lara says, Tumi didn’t like Natalya from the beginning. In Natalya’s interview, she says she thought they’d hit refresh. She’s not biting her tongue anymore. She’s done with Tumi. The captain and Luka are carrying kayaks across the deck and launching them into the water. As the captain walks backwards holding her end, she falls. She tells Luka that she’s fine, and carries on, not missing a beat. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says she thinks she broke her wrist. She just wants to get to her cabin, assess her wrist, and  move it around to see if it’s okay. Chief Officer Nikola bandages it for her. Natalya charges over to Tumi and says she wants something clarified. Did Tumi say it would be fine if she left? Tumi says she never wants someone who’s struggling to stay, but Natalya thinks there’s shade in what she says. She thought they hit refresh. Tumi says, that doesn’t mean they have to be friends. They’re not chums. Natalya says, Tumi’s not a good leader. Maybe it’s the living together that makes them ridiculous, but I don’t get why they don’t just focus on their damn work instead of their relationships with each other and every little word that’s spoken.

A couple of the guests listen in, and Natalya tells Tumi, that’s not a positive attitude. Tumi says, if Natalya is struggling, Natalya can come to her, and in Natalya’s interview, she says, it’s not what Tumi is saying, but the tone that bothers her. Natalya says, Tumi’s comments are upsetting her people, and in Tumi’s interview, she says she doesn’t like being spoken down to. She’s had it her whole life, and it lights a fire in her. Just stop. The listening guests go back with the others, and one says, something is going on downstairs. (Unless I really missed GH, I wouldn’t waste one minute of my Mediterranean cruise listening to crew drama.) Tumi says she knew Natalya would start that sh*t again, and tells Kyle that if Natalya isn’t happy, she could have come to her. Jessica came to her. Kyle says, that’s maturity, and Tumi says, Jessika thought the way Kyle was talking, Tumi thought she was a green stew. In Kyle’s interview, he says he’s done everything for that girl, and she just swept the floor with him. How dare you?

Captain Sandy tells Luka that she’s broken her wrist before and she’s going to get it checked out. Nikola will be in charge, and in Luka’s interview, he says he’s 50% to blame. Kyle tells Jessika that she did him dirty when he was there for her. Don’t apologize. She says she doesn’t know why this is triggering him, and he says, she went behind his back and said he was making her feel like a green stew. She says, not in a bad way, and Leni listens in. Kyle says he’s the common denominator between everyone. I guess he doesn’t realize that could be taken in a negative way as well. Luka tells the deckhands about the captain’s wrist, and Kyle accuses Jessika of throwing him under the bus. Jessika says she didn’t, and Kyle says she belittled (WOTD) him when he had faith in her.

Captain Sandy heads for shore.

Next time, Jack does shots with the guests; Luka hits on Jessika; Jessika cries to Tumi; Kyle cries about stupid drama; Tumi says, everyone is at their breaking point; Kyle and Natalya argue; and Kyle calls Natalya a fake ass bitch.

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Join me tomorrow for soap and a tea party. I just can’t stomach Winter House – even I have to draw the line somewhere – but I’ll getcha the recap. Until then, stay safe, stay following your dreams and sticking to them, and stay never saying it out loud, no matter how quiet the night seems.