What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly that Doc let him in. She needs to stay strong, and do whatever she needs to make sure Doc releases her. Rupert comes in and says Carly has been breaking the rules, and knows what happens now. Sonny asks his name. Carly answers and he says, great name, and asks Rupert for a chat outside.

Chase sees Nelle at Kelly’s. He tells her not to leave on his account. She says she has nothing to say to him, but he says he has plenty to say to her. He flashes back to being in the cemetery with Carly, and asks what perfume she’s wearing. She says she’s not, but he remembers the same scent when saw Carly at her son’s grave.

Kim asks Julian what gives; why so attentive? He’s paying her back for making his maiden voyage to the great outdoors. It was a memorable experience neither one of them will forget any time soon – or ever. Kim says she finds his vow to take her somewhere to enjoy room service was memorable. Julian says there won’t be any crawling things, and she asks where his sense of adventure is. Alexis comes in, and Julian says maybe he should ask her. Alexis tells Julian she has something to give him.

There are new signs up at the hospital about harassment. Elizabeth tells Franco that they just employed a zero-tolerance policy, and he says, too bad it’s too late to help Kiki. Francesca looks at the sign. Michael comes by, and she says he’s on the board, right? She thinks there’s something he should know. Kiki watches.

Griff punches the bag at the gym and thinks of being in bed with Kiki. He punches harder. Ava come in, saying she thought she’d find him there. She knows exactly what he needs.

Alexis appreciates Julian coming to therapy. He says he was happy to oblige, but she says, no, he wasn’t, which is why it was even more impressive. She gives him an envelope, and he asks if she’s serving him with a subpoena, but it’s a deed to her house. She says he bought it for her. Call it closure or payback, but the house is his.

Franco wonders why David is still there, walking the halls in his scholarly spectacles. Elizabeth says he hasn’t been accused by name; then, he will. The men who violated them are dead and in the past. They’ve chosen not to be victims, and so has Kiki, but if the truth comes out, they’ll deal with it. He says, as long as Kiki believes that.

Francesca says something to Michael about their date, then jets. He asks Kiki what that was about.

Griff tells Ava that he comes there to stop thinking; it helps clear his head. She tells him, nice try. She knows he’s worried about Kiki. She can’t tell him how much it means knowing how much he cares. He admits Kiki has been on his mind a lot lately. Ava says, how dare David harass her daughter? Griff says she has every right to be angry, but Kiki can fight her own battles. Ava knows Kiki’s way is the high road, but it’s time consuming. Griff has to get to the hospital, and she says, her too. She’s lucky to have him. Left to her own devices, who knows what she’d do?

Nelle tells Chase that a guy was just there, wearing a gallon of cologne. She says maybe if he’d helped Carly sooner, Carly wouldn’t have pushed her. At least she’s getting help now. Chase says she’s in a state institution, and Zack’s death was never paid for. Nelle says his family was out for blood, and he was out to prove she was innocent. He says that was before he knew she was an expert swimmer, and manipulated him into thinking he was someone special to her. She says she was innocent until he got her into bed, then she was a murderer. He says someone called the department, accusing him of inappropriate behavior. He knows she’s sure she dodged a bullet, but she thought wrong.

Sonny tells Rupert that he can give him a small gratuity for a few minutes with his wife. He’d consider it a personal favor if Rupert looks after her. Rupert says no one will mess with her, and Sonny says including the nurse he’s been hearing about. If Rupert does this for him, he’ll return the favor. He slips Rupert some cash, and Rupert agrees.

Back in Carly’s room, Sonny asks, where were we? They kiss, and she tells him, nice work.

Kiki ask Michael if he and Francesca are friends. He says they dated for forty minutes, and she says, a record. He asks how she’s doing, and she says she’s getting the gamut of reactions. Some people thinks she’s brave; some think she’s lying. She tells him to read the comments, but he says never do that. She says she’ll remember that moving forward. Looking at the sign, he says, thanks to her, predators are on notice – literally. It was incredibly brave to step forward. She thanks him, but says if she can’t prove it, she’ll be the girl who cried wolf, and David will keep doing what he’s doing. Michael is sure she’ll win. Francesca overhears.

Carly is concerned that Nelle has a clear path to Michael. Sonny says their only goal is to get her out. She says there’s no telling what Nelle can do to him; warn him to stay away from her. Sonny promises he will. She knows Josslyn feels responsible. She wants Sonny to tell her not to be, and that she loves her. Sonny says she knows; that’s why it’s eating her up. She asks about Mike. (Where’s Mike? We haven’t seen him in a while.) Sonny doesn’t know where to start. She says not to make the mistake she did. Don’t be afraid share everything with her.

Inside the envelope is the deed to Alexis’s house. He understands there are bad memories there, but she’s overcome them. She says she hasn’t overcome anything yet; she’s a work in progress. He thinks she’s winning. He’s sorry the good memories they tried to build were spoiled. She says whatever she’s going through, it’s not entirely about them; its about her. She needs to unravel a lot. He asks about the watch, and she explains her father gave it to her mother, and Valentin passed it on to her. She’s hoping Mikkos gave it out of love, but maybe it was to hold onto her. Julian says, like he’s been trying to hold on to their relationship.

Francesca approaches Kiki. She admires Kiki for being brave enough to do the right thing. Not everyone can. Kiki says it’s not easy. If Francesca chooses not come forward, she understands. It’s her life, and she has to live with her choices; it’s not an easy one. She tells Francesca to do what feels right for her, and Francesca says she’s going to.

Nelle asks Chase if this is why he came to Port Charles; to dredge up the past, and something that wasn’t her fault. He tells her that he came for a job, but when he found out she was there, he wanted to prove her guilty. She says the conversation is stressful, and starts to get up. He says that’s how he felt until he saw her. He tried to get her out of his head, and then got a visit from her baby daddy, telling him to back off. She says he’s still here. He asks why she’s there? She doesn’t belong with them. She asks why? Because they’re rich and she’s trash? He says she’s pregnant with Michael’s baby, and he still hasn’t put a ring on it. If he hasn’t by now, he never will. She tells him, playing good and bad cop at the same time doesn’t work. Pick one and make peace with it. He says she won’t fit or be happy here. She asks if she should settle for no-tell motels with rookie cops. He says at least they’re alike. She’s not the same as Michael. He touches her hand, and Michael walks in. Nelle tells Chase to let her go.

Sonny tells Carly to do everything to prove to Doc that she doesn’t belong there, and they’ll do everything to prove she was set up. She asks if he believes Nelle set her up.

Alexis tells Julian she keeps going back and forth about getting rid of the watch. He gets that she wants to cut the cord from the past, as well as the mistakes they’ve made, but don’t confuse the way things began with how they ended. He says, if someone saw them, they would think they were friends. He tells her to keep the house as a reminder of his good intentions, and the watch as a reminder of what not to do. She says he’s convinced her. Her phone wings, and she steps aside. Kiki asks to meet her, and says she’ll come to Charlie’s.

At the hospital, Ava asks if Elizabeth has seen Kiki. Elizabeth asks if Ava wants her to page Kiki, but Ava says Kiki would have her head. She looks at the sign, and says, speaking of heads rolling, was that the result of Kiki’s whistle blowing? Elizabeth says she started a chain that will make life better for all of them. Franco says, except for that skeezy doctor. Elizabeth says he’ll get what’s coming to him. Franco asks if Ava wants coffee, and they leave. Elizabeth gets a message, and tells Griff it’s from someone she never thought she’d hear from again.

Nelle tells Michael that Chase is refusing to let the past be in the past. That’s why he sent her that T-shirt. Chase says he didn’t send her anything, and she asks if he’s denying the note too. Chase hopes Michael isn’t buying it. Michael tells Chase to save it. He thinks some rest for Nelle is in order, and Nele wants to get away from Chase. As they leave, Chase tells Michael that he didn’t send the shirt, and Michael might want to ask himself, who did?

Sonny tells Carly when she was at the grave the same day Mike and Avery were missing, he thought she’d lost touch with reality; that her grief had gotten to her. She thought she was either losing her mind, or something supernatural was happening. Now she knows it was Nelle. Sonny says, she did a helluva job, but once Carly was in jail, it all ended. Carly says out of everything Nelle did, the worst thing was making her think her son was alive. Sonny says, when she’s out of here and the baby is safe, Nelle is going to pay. He promises that.

Julian sits with Kim, and asks if she’s curious. She says, of course, and he tells her that they were just following up on the session. She asks what about the reasons he shouldn’t go; rehashing old grievances, nursing old wounds, being stuck in the past? He says he realized wasn’t about him

Kiki meets Alexis. She wants to go ahead with the suit. Alexis says she’ll file the paperwork. Kiki says she understands that there’s no chance of proof unless someone comes forward. Someone has. Francesca joins them.

At Kelly’s, Ava asks Franco if the doctors are picking sides. He says some, in the good old boy network, but there have to be some who feel the way Griff does. He says, the predator has to go, and Ava says, the predator has a name. She knows it; so does. He asks what they’re going to do.

Michael tells Nelle to lie down and get some rest. She still can’t believe Chase denied sending the shirt. It would be sad if it wasn’t scary. She thinks he came to Port Charles to hound her about Zack, and threaten her. He said it was crazy for her to think she belonged with people like him and his family. Michael says he’s getting a restraining order, but Nelle says it won’t change anything. Besides, he’s right. She walks out

Rupert tells Sonny it’s time. Sonny thanks him, and says he’s a good man. He says in the meantime, Rupert is going to take care of Carly, right? Rupert says, yes sir. When Rupert steps out of earshot, Carly thanks Sonny for solving the Rupert problem. She wishes he could do the same with Mary Pat. He says he’ll think of something. In the meantime (phrase of the day), stay strong. She says she can do anything now that she knows he believes her. They hug, and she says tell the kids she loves them.

Kim asks Julian how it was, and he says a nightmare. His prediction almost came true, but he stuck with it. Kim says he guilty, hence the free coffee. He says maybe he was making amends a little. She tells him she needs no explanations or apologies, and he says she can pay him then. She asks if he’ll take it in trade. He asks how about him finishing where they’re going for room service, and gives her a folder. She says, Florence?

Francesca tells Alexis that David would call her into his office, saying he needed help with something. He touched her in innocent places at first; her arm, her shoulder, her hair. Then he kissed her. When she resisted, he told she’d misunderstood, and it would be a shame if the others knew she wasn’t a team player. So, she let him do things. She let him touch and kiss her, and eventually gave in, and had sex with him. Kiki says she knows how hard this is. Francesca asks if it matters that she consented; will it hurt the case? Alexis asks if she was coerced, and Francesca says, absolutely. He didn’t use physical force, but used his position as her superior to make her do something she didn’t want to. Alexis says, capitulating is different from consent. She asks how long it went on, and Francesca says, for months, but once she did it, he stopped. She was relieved, but then sickened when she realized he must have moved on to someone else. Alexis asks if she’s willing to say it in court, and Francesca says, every word. She’s’ ready. Kiki takes her hand, and Francesca says, let’s do this. Alexis says she needs to know something first.

Ava tells Franco that she’s livid at the thought of David putting his hands on their Kiki, and threatening to kill her career if she doesn’t give him what he wants. Franco asks if she ever wishes the old Ava was back. She says, a little; and him? He says, yeah. Sometimes he wishes he as his old self, but he’s happier now. He’s made commitments, and he’s not going there. Elizabeth is right; Kiki is doing it the right way. Ava tells him, that’s what Griff says. However, hypothetically, what if the right way doesn’t work?

Elizabeth tells Griff, when truth comes out, Kiki will be vindicated, and David discredited. He says the other side has deep pockets, and won’t give up without a fight. She hates how David hides behind his stethoscope, and acts like Kiki asked for it. She wonders what if what they’re doing isn’t enough

Carly’s neighbor knocks on the wall. Carly says she doesn’t know Morse code. She remembers she has a phone, and wonders if there’s an app for that.

At the Quartermaine’s, Sonny tells Michael that Carly is hanging in there, but every day is one too many.  She said he should stay away from Nelle. Michael says that’s not possible, and Sonny says, she’s dangerous. Look at what she did to his mom. He says Jason already told him, but it’s on him to fix. He ignored the warnings, and got involved. Now his mom is in Ferncliff, and his baby has a psycho for a mom. He has to make right. Sonny tells him to be careful, and Michael says his eyes are open. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Sonny says, he’s better, and leaves. Nelle comes down, and says she thought she heard someone. Michael says it was Sonny with an update on his mom. Nelle hopes she’s doing better. She’s worried Michael is going to believe the terrible things Chase said. Michael says, he believes in her.

Julian tells Kim to think about it; exploring the villages, wine in the vineyards, dining under the stars. She can’t wait.

Alexis tells Francesca and Kiki that the other side will dredge up whatever they can find to discredit them. They need to be prepared. Is there anything they need to tell her? Kiki says if she thinks of anything, she’ll let Alexis know, and Francesca says, her too. Alexis says in the meantime, David will be counting on their silence. Francesca says if they stay silent, he’ll move on to his next target. She’s ready. Alexis is proud of them. She’s going ahead, full speed. She’s going to sue his sorry ass back to the stone age where he belongs.

Griff thinks Alexis will bring the fire and fury, but Elizabeth says, it’s going to get ugly. He hopes they’re ready for that. She asks if he’s ready for Ava. If she sees her daughter under attack, her claws will come out. The worst thing is for her to take matters into her own hands.

Ava says she’s willing to wait. They’re two peaceful law-abiding citizens having coffee. She hopes Kiki gets the justice she deserves. If not, then David will get the justice he deserves. They clink coffee cups.

Carly hears more knocking. She looks it up. It’s SOS. Geez, don’t we all know that one?

Chase punches the bag at the gym. Sonny asks what the bag has done to him. Chase asks if he got in to see Carly. He knows Dante pulled some strings. Sonny asks if he objects, but Chase says he’s going to help get her out. They’re on the same side. He punches some more.

Nelle asks Michael, after everything Chase said, how can he believe in her. He says, why does he care what Chase has to say? Nelle says he thinks she doesn’t belong with him. One of these things is not like the others, and it’s her. Michael says, once the baby comes, things will get better; they’ll get closer. He says, why wait? Let’s get married.

Tomorrow, Finn misses Anna, Ava asks Franco to help, Alexis tells David to lawyer up, and Sam tells Jason to think for Carly.

The Real Housewives of New York City

At the spa, some of the ladies do yoga. Carole tells Dorinda that the photo has become a big deal. She thinks Ramona didn’t realize what she was posting. LuAnn joins the yoga group, saying the she-devil strikes again, invading her privacy. Now the whole world knows she’s out of rehab. She’s trying to be in her chill zone, and not let it affect her.

Carole hunts for the pool. Tinsley and Dorinda think wine is in order. Tinsley explains that Sonja is sensitive to her ex-husband’s legacy. In her interview, Dorinda says Sonja has to understand that her daughter is a Morgan; not her. Dorinda thinks she should stay in her own legacy lane. Bethenny asks if LuAnn wants her to call her publicist to help. LuAnn didn’t do anything wrong, so she wants to help her. Ramona tells Dorinda and Sonja that they always post group shots. Dorinda asks if alcohol was in the picture, but Sonja says LuAnn hasn’t even told her family yet. They look at the picture, and there’s no wine on the table.

LuAnn tells Dorinda that she has a court case coming up, there were drinks at the table, and she doesn’t need it. Dorinda says the glasses were empty, but LuAnn doesn’t need the press taking guesses about what she’s up to. Bethenny tells LuAnn to look at the crystals on the table, and let it go. In her interview, LuAnn feels like the rug was pulled out from under her. Dorinda doesn’t want it to be awkward between her and Bethenny, but Bethenny doesn’t feel safe with her. Dorinda thought they were past that. She thinks everything is okay, then it isn’t. Bethenny thinks Dorinda has the issue. Dorinda thought they got through it at Bethenny’s party. Bethenny says she’s not upset. There’s an energy going on with her, but it’s okay. In her interview, Bethenny thinks if she and Carole were fine, everyone else would relax. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s an engager, but Bethenny doesn’t engage. Bethenny tells Dorinda that she’s trying to be productive, and doesn’t want to get in a bad spot.

LuAnn and Tinsley get massages. Tinsley has a hard time relaxing when someone is telling her to, and she’s naked. LuAnn tells Tinsley that she’s not doing too bad. Now that she’s stopped drinking, her skin is better.

Ramona and Sonja also get massages. Ramona babbles about the kids, and wanting to live another forty years. Sonja sees them looking good for martinis at the diner in their old age, and I want to know what diner serves martinis. Tinsley and Carole find the tennis court. Tinsley says Scott is coming back soon. They find a maze, and Tinsley says it’s like The Shining. The gate closes by itself behind them, and they jump. Carole says Adam sent her an email, and she texted back that she was super busy, but promised to reach out. He said he hopes sooner than later. In her interview, Carole says she has better boundaries than Adam, and wants to focus on work. Carole doesn’t think everyone is as relaxed as she is. Tinsley says, no more couples’ massages. She’s saving that for Scott.

Bethenny tells LuAnn they’ve never been on a trip without partying every night. She asks if LuAnn is nervous about going back into the jungle. LuAnn feels better equipped now. She’s going to AA meetings, and doesn’t feel so alone.

Carole hopes LuAnn is okay about the picture. Tinsley says she seems more relaxed, and Carole says she’s more self-aware. In her interview, Carole says she wants to go to rehab; it sounds like heaven. I know what she means. There’s a late-night ad here for a local one that looks fabulous and relaxing. I keep wondering how I can lie my way in. Tinsley tells Carole about trying on wedding dresses just for fun. Oddly, Carole gets it. Tinsley says her mother is going to be the death of her.

LuAnn says Ramona hurt her about trying to get an invite to Tom’s party on the boat. Bethenny remarks that he said no, and thinks it’s embarrassing. LuAnn says, nothing embarrasses Ramona. Bethenny she associates with Tom, and has drinks with him. LuAnn asks what she’s talking about, and Bethenny says they had drinks at the Regency.  In her interview, LuAnn says there are so many guys to choose from, and Ramona is an idiot. Bethenny tells her not to get worked up, and LuAnn says it makes her want to smoke, but this too, shall pass.

It’s dinnertime. Everyone plays non-musical chairs. LuAnn and Carole try non-alcoholic beer, Tinsley says her head hurts from wearing braids, and the oysters look amazing. Bethenny asks if Tinsley is getting engaged. The place where Bethenny got her wedding dress told her Tinsley had been trying them on. Tinsley says it wasn’t real. If she does get married, it will be custom-made, and they’ll know if she’s engaged. Sonja is superstitious, saying she wouldn’t try one on unless she was engaged. In her interview, Bethenny says she kept hers to paint in. She says it’s like trying out coffins, and Tinsley doesn’t find it funny. She thinks Bethenny is being negative, but Bethenny explains she meant it was jumping the gun. She wasn’t comparing marriage to death. They start getting louder and argue. In her interview, Carole says she and Bethenny looked at rings when Bethenny had been dating for only two weeks.

Dorinda brings up Sonja’s family crest again, saying if she was going to her family home, it wouldn’t be in Scotland. Sonja can’t believe she cares. In her interview, Sonja talks about being bullied in school because kids were jealous of her, and how she punched a kid out. Dorinda gets up, and her hands start flying around. And she hasn’t even had a martini. The waitress looks nervous, and I can’t believe these women never care about the other diners. Bethenny asks why Dorinda cares, and Dorinda tells her to stay out of it. Sonja says every time they have a dinner, Dorinda puts her nose in Sonja’s family. We flash back to some of that. In her interview, LuAnn says Dorinda needs to give Sonja a break. Carole says maybe it’s a little pretentious. Dorinda leaves the table, and Carole tells LuAnn, welcome back. Dorinda returns and apologizes, saying she won’t bring it up again. She’s proud of Sonja’s progress. She’s staying in the present, and has many achievements of her own. Bethenny asks what Dorinda is doing. It’s like she’s some kind of authority. In her interview, Bethenny says Dorinda spends 30% of every dining and alcohol experience slurring inaudible insults. Ramona asks LuAnn if she missed them.

LuAnn says, now that she brought it up, the picture Ramona posted caused a problem. Ramona says LuAnn tweeted about being back. LuAnn says that was afterward; she had to say something. Ramona says she didn’t get the memo, and LuAnn says she didn’t get memo that she shouldn’t call Tom either; it’s hurtful. Now she’s the talk of the town again. Bethenny explains to Ramona what she’s done, and the light bulb comes on. LuAnn accuses Ramona of smirking, and says it’s not funny. She needs to be more respectful and thoughtful of her friends. Sonja says this trip was supposed to help LuAnn’s transition. Ramona gets teary, and in her interview, Sonja says, here it comes. Ramona’s crocodile tears. Ramona says she understands; she made a huge mistake, and opened up a can of worms. LuAnn tells her having drinks with Tom is not cool. Most people would never talk to her again. In her interview, Ramona insists it’s just that they travel in the same circle, and she can’t kill him. LuAnn says she’s the lowest of the low. Ramona admits to being socially inept. Tinsley says she’d never go for drinks with Tom. Ramona says she was having drinks with Harry, and Tom was there. In her interview, LuAnn says Harry is her big excuse? Whether it’s Tom, Dick, or Harry, they all live in the same penthouse. Dorinda says Harry said bad things about LuAnn, and LuAnn says Ramona doesn’t have her best interests at heart. She leaves, and in her interview, Ramona says if she didn’t talk to any of the men LuAnn has been with, it wouldn’t leave any. Dorinda tells the waiter they’d like some therapy.

There’s yet another huge spread back at the cottage, and Sonja and Ramona go nuts over the banana bread. In her interview, Sonja calls Ramona a lunatic, since she was just crying a minute ago. Carole tells LuAnn they’re back. LuAnn says she couldn’t look at Ramona anymore. Carole says she did the right thing. In her interview, Carole says everyone is making mistakes around LuAnn. She doesn’t think it’s malicious, but having said that, Ramona should not be drinking with Tom. LuAnn tells Carole that Ramona keeps doing hurtful things, and instead of sincere remorse, she was smirking. Carole thinks she and Ramona need a friendship break.

Ramona tells Sonja that she has a problem when she feels attacked. Even if the person is right, she gets defensive. Bethenny says she’s not being honest to herself in the moment, and Ramona admits it’s immature. In her interview, Ramona says her father was verbally abusive, and she doesn’t know how to react. Dorinda says her intentions are good, but her application sucks.

Carole tells LuAnn it’s a good change, and by next year, she’ll be grateful. LuAnn says she’s grateful already. She doesn’t like that it took an arrest, but she wasn’t heading in great direction. In her interview, Carole says jail is anybody’s wake-up call, and LuAnn is using it to set her life on the right path. Bethenny tells Tinsley she’s going shopping for a divorce dress. Tinsley laughs, and Ramona says, next time, he’s paying Bethenny.

LuAnn tries to wake up Bethenny and Sonja for yoga. She wonders if Dorinda is mad at her for not defending her. Bethenny says Dorinda wants to skate, but realizes she’s looking judgmental.

Dorinda tells Carole that LuAnn wasn’t sticking up for her. Carole suggest maybe she didn’t want to seem hypocritical because of the Countess thing. She thinks Dorinda should drop it. LuAnn tells Bethenny and Sonja that when they go to a restaurant, they should put up sign that says, caution: wild animals. LuAnn decides on a private yoga session. Sonja feels reborn, and Bethenny says she killed it. It feels like she passed a gallstone. Dorinda has been checked.

Tinsley tells Ramona she feels overwhelmed and exhausted from dinner. Ramona says she was shaking. She’s embarrassed. She should have been more sensitive, but she’s a work in progress. Ugh. That excuse.

Everyone gets ready to leave the spa. Ramona wants to talk to LuAnn, and Dorinda tells her no excuses; just say she’s sorry. Ramona knocks on LuAnn’s door. She says she texted LuAnn last night. LuAnn says she got the text, but doesn’t want to do this right now. Ramona still continues to talk about how she showed poor judgement. LuAnn practically has to shove her out the door. Ramona tells the others that LuAnn isn’t in the mood, but got her text. Dorinda thinks by Friday, all will be fine. She jokes about going drinking with LuAnn by then, but Carole says, hashtag too soon.

In her interview, LuAnn says this was the first stepping stone. She knows not drinking with them is okay. New York will be another hurdle.

This season, speed dating, LuAnn’s cabaret, Sonja has a wardrobe malfunction, a trip to Mexico, fabulous earrings, Dorinda insults LuAnn, Bethenny says it’s the worst vacation ever, and the boat ride from hell.

Below Deck Mediterranean

It’s the third day in Capri. João docks the boat. Conrad says he’s blowing so much smoke up Captain Sandy’s ass, he’s like a steam train. He hopes this doesn’t make João’s head any bigger. João says he’s living the dream.

Breakfast happens. My favorite meal. Brooke says Kasey trying. Hannah says, too bad. She was looking forward to firing her. In her interview, Hannah says that dating on boats usually ends Titanic style, but thinks Conrad is worth the risk. The guests begin to pack. Colin says his underpants are pinching his boys. Really. He said that. Everyone gets into their whites. Captain Sandy is proud of Kasey. Adam tells the guests that they were like a breath of fresh air. Derrek says it was the trip of a lifetime, and gives the captain a fat envelope.

And it’s tip time. The captain says Kasey’s work ethic has come up a few notches, and everyone applauds. She says the deck crew’s attitude was spot on. Hannah says the interior is getting there. The tip is $21K or 1480 euros a person. Everyone has champagne.

Captain Sandy asks if Hannah isn’t happy with the interior. She says she’s frustrated, and couldn’t believe Kasey got rounds of applause. The captain says she’s not having a conversation about Kasey’s resume again. You can’t tear someone down and expect a good job. She sees Kasey’s good attitude, and she’s giving 100%. Brooke asks João if he and Hannah are getting on any better. He says she undermines people. She has a bully personality. In his interview, João says he’s not intimidated by Hannah. Brooke says everyone thinks João is a d*ck, but she’ trying to see it from both sides. He says he’s just there to have a good time.

Hannah tells Kasey that she’s tired, stressed, and working hard. She needs to see initiative. Kasey says she’s trying her best. Hannah says she can’t hold Kasey’s hand through everything. Kasey suggests more communication, and Hannah tells her to look around. She didn’t spend this many years in yachting to be an effing work bitch. In her interview, Hannah says she needs to concentrate on other things. She doesn’t have time to teach ironing, and needs more support.

Everyone gets ready to roll out for the evening. Hannah asks if João has crush on Kasey. He can’t exactly say yes, but yes. Adam says he’s never eaten at a Michelin star restaurant, even though he’s served at one. He takes pictures of the menu, and asks the waiter questions about lobster. He wonders why his chief stew doesn’t know as much as the waiter. Maybe because that’s the waiter’s only job, and the chief stew wears many hats? He says he loves watching professionals do their job. He tells Hannah that she doesn’t seem happy. She says she wasn’t. The food comes, and Adam says everything is done perfectly, and it looks damn good. Everything is so good, it’s making him feel like a sh*tty chef.

João asks if Hannah can’t just be nice. She’s not into clinking glasses, and he tells her, cheers. He hopes it goes down with nails. She’s like, what? and he says she didn’t cheers him properly. She calls him a psycho. Conrad and Hannah go on cigarette break. Adam says they can’t have a single night out without an argument between them, and we flash back to some of that. They don’t like to be challenged, but like to challenge.

Conrad tells Hannah that João shouldn’t speak to women like that. Hannah says she didn’t do anything to him; he’s effing psychotic. Conrad doesn’t like how he talks to her. In his interview, Conrad says João has no filter. Hannah and Conrad kiss. Back at the table, Jamie asks Kasey if she wants to bring herself into something with João. Kasey says she likes him, but he failed the test. They bring out some weird lollipops for dessert. Seriously, I want to know what those are. Hannah tells Brooke about what João said. He’s sitting across from her, and squeezes a wine glass so hard that it shatters all over. There’s a stunned moment. Maybe he is psychotic, or related to Ramona or LisaR.

He says, his bad. Hannah says she thinks they’re done, and asks for the bill. Adam says it couldn’t have happened at the last place they were at, instead of the nicest meal of his life. Yeah, I know the feeling. Hannah says João is psychotic. Brooke wants to know where she and João stand, because maybe she’s psychotic. She doesn’t like bullsh*t. In her interview, Kasey says if you want her, don’t flirt with anyone else. Sounds reasonable. In his interview, João says he doesn’t want to get hurt. Kasey asks again where they stand, but he won’t say. I know it’s slim pickin’s on the yacht, but what is wrong with these girls?

On to the club. Adam tells Kasey not to let Hannah get to her. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, and that’s why she’s pissed off. João dances with Brooke, and they have shots. In her interview, Brooke says when she gets drunk, she gets more drawn to João. In her interview, Kasey says she can’t keep up with João. Brooke starts to fall asleep, and some of the crew take pictures with them gathered around her. João says it’s wrong, and takes Hannah’s phone out of her hand. She says insulting women is okay, but not taking a funny picture. João tells her go away, and she starts calling him names, and telling him to get out of her face. So many words are bleeped, I don’t even know what they’re saying. Conrad tells João to respect women, and calls him a pr*ck. João he says they’re unreal. In his interview, Conrad says no one should be spoken to like that, especially a bloke speaking to a woman.

They manage to get Brooke to the car. In her interview, Kasey says her last relationship was eight years ago. He cheated on her, so she’s guarded now. She wants someone to prove themselves and fight for her. Conrad and Hannah get Brooke back to her room. Then go to bed with each other, on the top bunk. I’d love to take a trip on a yacht, but I wouldn’t want to work on one. The quarters are just a little close.

Kasey says she’s trying to prove she belongs here. She tells Brooke about the photo op, and how João was acting stupid. In her interview, Brooke is glad João was sticking up for her in his own way. She he’s a gentleman. Really? We must have different definitions of that. Hannah asks João what his issue is with her. He thinks they just don’t get along. She thinks there’s something weird with him, when he does things like calling her a slut. He looks like a d*ck in front of the crew. He says her advice means nothing to him, and in her interview, Hannah says he can’t be reasoned with. They agree to stay away from each other. Good luck with that.

Conrad says João’s behavior is unacceptable, but as his boss, he has to be professional. There’s a preference sheet meeting, and the next primary guests are Josh and Cindy, who are celebrating their tenth anniversary. They’re self-proclaimed foodies, and Adam has never felt more inspired to make sure they’re blown away. They want the slide, and to jump from the highest part of the yacht. João and Brooke decide they’re similar. Brooke says she can’t flirt as well when she’s drunk. Yes. You have to be awake for that. The provisions arrive. Hannah tells Adam she has an upcoming date with Conrad. In his interview, Adam says she looks like him in Croatia; a bit distracted. Kasey asks João if he’s hungover. She tells him that she doesn’t want to be part of a triangle. He says he’s too hungover to talk, and she says that’s just an excuse.

Hannah says it’s been over five years since she’s been excited about a first date. In her interview, she say all the male figures in her life left her, and she closes down and pulls back. She’s a psycho commitment phobic bitch. She and Conrad go ashore. They go to a restaurant. It’ outdoor seating, and they order a bottle of wine and some food. In his interview, Conrad says he doesn’t like to give too much away to women, and get emotionally attached. He thinks with Hannah, it will be different.

Brooke wonders if Conrad and Hannah are sleeping together tonight. Hannah asks Conrad about their age difference. In his interview, he says he likes a cougar, although I don’t know if I’d classify Hannah as one. She says they’re at different stages of their lives, and he says he he likes it. In her interview, Hannah says she wants to get married and have a baby. He doesn’t just want to get drunk, and looks after her. He’s nice and sweet. They kiss. On their way back, they see fireworks. Literally. The other kind don’t happen until they’re back on the boat.

Adam asks for meeting with service. He wants to make sure they’re on the same page. He’ll be writing the menu out, and it will be on display. They’ll know if somebody doesn’t want something in advance, and if there’s a problem with that, they can speak to the chef. He wants to make sure everyone is accommodated and not overwork anyone. In her interview, Hannah thinks he has a lot of nerve telling the interior what to do.

The new guests arrive. I find out the boat is called the Talisman. I either didn’t know or forgot. Hannah gives the tour. Josh says they’re not in Kansas anymore. Cindy and her friends lounge on the upper deck, and ask for gumballs. When Brooke goes to get them, one of them says they’d better not be white. It’s the only color she doesn’t like. Who is she? Mariah Carey? Sure enough, they’re white, and Brooke goes back to see if they have other colors. Hannah says if they wanted a specific color, it should have been on the preference sheet. In her interview, she says she’s had a lot of strange requests, from hookers to nuts she’s had to fly in, but never gumballs. The white gumball hater says she was going to put it on the sheet, but thought it would make her look like an a-hole. Well, what do you think you look like now? Amazingly, Hannah finds some. One of the guests announces that gumballs make them happy.

The yacht shoves off, and the deckhands get the water toys ready. Adam prepares lunch. In her interview, Hannah says she’s not going out of her way to make Kasey’s life a living hell, but she has to prove herself. She’s still hung up on the resume thing.

There’s a tremendous spread for lunch. Adam says he’s got to put a face to the food, and comes upstairs. He explains all the dishes, and Josh pronounces it fantastic. Hannah tells Brooke that she doesn’t like João. Brooke says, sorry, but she doesn’t not not like him [sic]. In her interview, Hannah wishes she’d stay awake to see what a d-bag he is, but she’s big enough to look out for herself. Brooke asks if Hannah minds, and Hannah says she doesn’t give a flying what Brooke thinks. Brooke says, awkward.

Lunch is over, and it’s slide time. I’d want a nap after all that. A few guests jump from up top. Jamie thinks Colin has a thing for Brooke after he shows her a picture of the two of them. She thinks they’d be perfect. Better than Brook and João. I don’t particularly like Hannah much, but I really don’t like João. The guests move on to the hot tub, and ask who Kasey thinks is cute. She says João, and if I could, I’d leave the room.

Hannah meets Conrad for a smoke. Captain Sandy says they need to think of it logistically, and have more discretion. They’re senior crew; act like it. Adam is disappointed that the guests just want one course for dinner. He’s making sea bass, with a lot of wonderful sides. Adam is pleased that Hannah is finally communicating, and thinks he’s gotten through. He decides to go up and explain the dishes himself. One guest is busy with her hair for ten hours, and keeps everyone waiting. Somebody says it’s been a rough day of fabulous. Hair-do guest finally makes it to the table. Another one says she needs food now. Maybe it’s Cindy. Josh goes down to the galley and asks if it’s coming. Hannah says, it’s on its way. Josh just stands there for a minute, staring at Adam trying to plate the food, and says they’re fading upstairs. Hannah says she wasn’t sure when the last guest was coming. Adam is like, screw communicating.

Next time, there’s blatant chemistry between João and Brooke, Captain Sandy calls out Conrad, and we’re still stuck with the gumball guests.

🍜 On MasterChef, the mystery ingredient was walnuts. Cesar won the challenge, although I missed just what his winning dish was because I was feeding my dogs. Alexi Lalas made an appearance, and Cesar got to pick a dish for the elimination challenge out of several considered favorite soccer game foods. He chose churros with chocolate sauce, thinking the other contestants would be over-confident. Alecia was put on notice for showboating, and Aaron called her a disappointment when her churros were too sugary to be edible. Samantha wept about her lack of experience, but Gordon appreciated her determination. Matt was the only one who did everything right. It was down to Alecia and Bowen, who had double-fried his churros. Apparently, this works well in Chinese cooking, but not so much Mexican.  He was still deemed to have potential, and Alecia was out. Aaron told her that she was well on her way. She felt like she let him down, but met kick-ass people, and learned a lot. She’s going to keep reaching for it, and said she’s still a winner. I like when they leave graciously. Next time, a wedding.

🍴 Gordon took on the Brownstone Bistro in LA on 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Executive chef Clyde had bought the restaurant five years ago, and started off thriving. Sadly, his son was shot, almost right in front of him, and things went downhill. He didn’t want to lose his lazy-ass employees, because he couldn’t do more for his son, and wanted to be supportive. His manager said his kindness was being taken as weakness, although she wasn’t much better. Gordon took them to the heart of his operation, Hell on Wheels, where he showed them the secret camera films of themselves being idiots. The place was also incredibly filthy. Gordon chewed the manager out for thinking it was funny, although later encouraged her, saying she could be a great boss. One employee walked out when he realized he’d actually have to start working, but everyone else got it together. As usual, the restaurant’s décor was revamped, and Gordon included a blessing tree, in honor of Clyde’s son. At the re-opening, some chicken was nearly served raw, and we learned the rule, if it’s not ready, don’t send it out. The LA Times food critic said she couldn’t believe they did it in 24-hours. His work done, Gordon disappeared into the night. Next week, a restaurant serves frozen lasagna. Enough said. I can get a decent one at Trader Joe’s for two bucks.

📻 For Your Listening Pleasure & Because It Is