What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Curtis asks Laura if she thinks it’s Lulu’s scarf, but she says, no; it’s not her style. She can still smell the perfume. Curtis says they’re on a boat closed for repairs. No staff; no guests. Laura says, Dustin and Lulu weren’t the only ones on the boat, and Curtis says, now, neither are they. She asks if anyone else is looking for the document, and he says, as far as he knows, just them and his client. He opens the closet door, and Cassandra is standing there with a gun.

Valentin and Nina bring Sasha to her hotel room. Sasha says they don’t have to do this, but Nina says, nonsense. Finn wants her close to GH in case she has a setback. Not that she anticipates anything going wrong. Valentin says Sasha’s proved she’s a survivor, and Nina says they come from sturdy stock. She tells Sasha to sit and put her feet up. She made a vow to never risk losing Sasha again.

Chase tells Michael if there’s anything he can do, just ask. Michael thanks him, and says, it’s just life taking another unexpected turn.

Brad sees Julian, and asks if it’s over. Julian says he did what he needed to do. Brad says he needs specifics, and Julian says he acted accordingly. Brad asks if accordingly means Obrecht is dead.

Finn tells Andre, it’s looking good. He’s pleased with Andre’s progress. Andre realizes things have changed since he was there last, but he’s betting Finn switching his specialty isn’t one of them. Finn says Anna asked him to keep an eye on Andre. She feels  somewhat responsible. She let Drew know where he was, and he fell into a trap. Andre says, no one could have foreseen the trap, even her. He came there to restore Franco’s memory. Elizabeth walks in, and he says, unless Elizabeth has changed her mind.

Franco tells Kim that he’ll let her know where he is; he’ll send her a postcard. She says, please don’t. He says he needs her to know where to find him, even if she doesn’t want to look. You gotta give a man something to hope for. He starts to leave, but she says, wait. She can’t say goodbye to him again. She grabs him, and they kiss.

Cassandra tells Curtis and Laura, back up, slowly. Curtis says, look who we have here, and Laura says, it’s not every day they find a fugitive hiding in the closet. The scarf is hers? Cassandra says, indeed. She tells Curtis not to be a hero; his wife has been through enough. Curtis says, she knows him? She says she does, and she knows they’re looking for a document that could bring down Valentin, a desire they have in common. Curtis suggests they combine forces. Tell them what she knows. She has a better idea. Tie each other up, and she’ll watch.

Nina tells Sasha, there’s also the additional security at the MetroCourt. She doesn’t expect Cassandra to come after Sasha again, but she can’t be too safe. Valentin has confidence Cassandra will be dealt with. Nina asks, how? and he says the authorities are on to her. He suggests they do what Peter said, and look to the future, which includes the wedding. Nina reminds Sasha that she’s the maid of honor, and has to be kept healthy and well. Environment impacts attitude, and attitude impacts health. Nina wants to get Sasha some fresh flowers, and fruit for healthy snacking, but Sasha says she needs to talk to Nina. Nina wants to pamper Sasha first, and goes off to find what she needs, leaving Sasha alone with Valentin. Sasha tells him, she’s feeling tired, and wants to lie down. He doesn’t need to watch over her. He must have more important things to do. He says, actually, he doesn’t. He wants to know what was going on with her and Michael, but she says that’s her business. He says, it was a little chilly in there. Michael wasn’t his usual devoted self, and was in a hurry to get out. What’s going on?

Michael tells Chase, three days ago, they didn’t know Sasha was going to survive, and now she’s been released. Compared to that, everything else is manageable. Chase admires his perspective, but if he needs to talk… Willow joins them, and says she just had her second interview. Fingers crossed, she thinks it went well. Michael says he told her that they’d like her. Willow says she should know by the end of the day, and Chase says, maybe they’ll have something to celebrate. He leaves for work, and Willow tells Michael that she was trying not to get her hopes too high, but she feels she could do a lot of good with the kids in pediatrics. Michael does too. He says he has to take off, and she asks if everything is okay. He says, yes… Well, it’s not as okay as he thought. She wonders where that’s coming from, and Michael says, he has the bad habit of seeing what he wants to see in people, and ignoring who someone really is. He thought he was past it, but he believed someone who turned out to be someone he doesn’t even recognize.

Julian grabs Brad, and brings him into an examining room. He tells Brad, they’re at the hospital, and he’s talking about killing Obrecht. Brad doubts anyone one will shed a tear, but Julian thinks Lucas might have a problem with it. Brad asks, what happened? and Julian says he went to the garage and found Obrecht’s car. He thought about how easy it would be to tamper with the brakes. She likes to speed like she’s on the Autobahn. It would just be a matter of time. Brad says, she drives like a bat out of hell; it’s finally over. But what if she crashes with someone else? Julian says, that’s not going to happen, but Brad asks how he can be so sure. It’s over right?

Apparently not. Obrecht goes to the MetroCourt, and orders a vodka tonic, light on the vodka. She’s sure the bartender isn’t as heavy handed as Julian. Julian makes exceptionally strong drinks. She tells him, on second thought, make it a Virgin Mary.

Finn says he’ll give Elizabeth and Andre a chance to talk. She asks him to stay. She’s holding Franco’s future in her hands, and needs all the input she can get. Andre told her there were four things that could happen, and only one of them is good. Andre says, one, Franco’s memory is restored. Two, the procedure has no effect. Three, Drew’s memories intensify. Elizabeth says, the fourth outcome is Franco being in a permanently vegetative state. Andre says she has to make a decision based on what she can live with. Elizabeth says she had to think about what Franco would choose, if he was speaking for himself and not Drew. She keeps coming back to the same thing. She knows what Franco would want.

Franco kicks door shut, as he and Kim kiss. They get busy, and I’m very, very disappointed. Not with Franco – he doesn’t know any better – but Kim has surpassed Monica in the selfish department.

Elizabeth says, the man she loves told Cameron to tell his mom that he loves her and he’ll be back. He’d want her to fight as hard as she can to choose the option of bringing him back. Andre asks if Franco agreed, but she says, leave that to her. She leaves, and sees Chase in the hallway. She asks if Drew was found, but he says they’re changing it from rescue to recovery. Is she okay? She says, it’s a lot to take in. He’s very sorry for her loss. He was about to go see Andre, but before he does, he needs to tell her something about Franco.

Julian tells Brad, he couldn’t go through with it. He started to tamper with the brakes, but came to his senses, and put things back to normal. Brad says, what the hell? Julian said he did what he had to. Julian says, he did; he walked away. Brad says he could have stopped Obrecht once and for all, but he let her live to hold the truth over Brad’s head, an make him dance to whatever tune she wants or lose Wiley. Why? Because he got cold feet?

Michael apologizes for dumping on Willow, and tells her, forget it. She says, it’s a little late, and she’s pretty sure when she was there tearing her hair out over Shiloh, he listened and supported her without judgement. Consider it payback. And while they’re on the subject of not being truthful, she wasn’t honest with him when they met. She let him think she was a grieving mother whose baby died. Even after she told him the truth, she left out the part about Shiloh being his father. He says she was protecting her child, but she says, it’s still dishonest, and it almost backfired. They almost lost Wiley. He says she was willing to go to jail to protect him. She tells him, what she’s saying is, some people, like Shiloh, lie for power or fame or to take advantage. That’s completely different from someone who lies to cover up a mistake they made, thinking they can fix it. Michael asks how you tell the difference, and she says, actions speak louder than words. What matters is who they are inside, and what they do with their lives moving forward.

Sasha tells Valentin she’s waiting for a mother/daughter conversation. She’s sure he appreciates that, since it’s why he found her in the first place. Valentin says she didn’t make the mistake of telling Michael about their arrangement. She says she’s tired of Valentin demanding answers about how she goes about her life. Stay out of her business. He says if she told Michael, it is his business. She said she’d never hurt Nina, but if she had an attack of conscience… Nina comes in, and asks what she missed.

Laura tells Curtis, this is staring to get old, and he says, yep. Cassandra asks them if being tied up is a common occurrence. How do their spouses feel about that. Curtis says every agency has her on their watch list. It’s only a matter of time before she’s caught. She says there are many more dangerous criminals then her, but Laura says, not many criminals weaponize the Avian flu. Cassandra says she only did that to put Valentin and Nina on notice. Curtis gets her grudge against Valentin, but why Nina? She says, it’s personal, and he says, for him too. Nina is his friend. She says, and she was just starting to like him. Laura asks Curtis what he’s doing, and Curtis says he can’t let her take another crack at Nina or the people she loves. He rushes Cassandra, and her gun goes off.

Valentin tells Nina that they were talking about the wedding, and all he’s willing to do to prevent their special day from being ruined. Nina says, Sasha needs rest, but Sasha says she’s fine. She doesn’t need sleep; she needs to talk to Nina. Nina says she doesn’t know what happened with Michael, but it will work out. All couples fight. Believe her; she knows. She looks at Valentin. Sasha says she doesn’t understand. There’s a knock at the door, and Nina says, it’s probably the bellhop, but it’s Michael.

Curtis ties up Cassandra, while Laura holds the gun on her. Cassandra tells her, put the gun away. She’s surrendered. Laura says that’s not happening, and Cassandra says she’ll never underestimate Curtis again. He says she won’t get the chance, but she says, never say never. There’s no reason for them to be enemies when they could easily be allies. If they join forces, Valentin doesn’t stand a chance. Laura calls the PCPD, and says she has a fugitive in custody – Cassandra Pierce.

Finn tells Andre, it’s just them. He doesn’t need to finesse anything for Elizabeth’s sake. Can he reverse the procedure or not? Andre says he can’t tell Finn any more than he told Elizabeth. His best offer is a one in four chance. The more he knows about Franco’s medical history, the better his chances. Finn says he’ll get Franco’s medical chart to Andre. He wants to do everything possible to increase the odds. Andre says, if Franco agrees. There are only two people who can make that decision – Franco and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth says Chase removed Franco’s ankle monitor? When, and how long ago? Why wasn’t she called first? Chase says, the judge dismissed the charges, and he was ordered to remove it. He gets a call from the station, and has to go. Elizabeth asks if Franco is there, but Chase says, he’s not at the station. He’s at Kim’s apartment.

As much as it pains me to say it, Kim and Franco bask in the afterglow. At the same time, Julian tells Brad, he thought of what it could do to Kim; he’d be betraying the two of them. Brad asks, what about Lucas and Wiley? Julian says Brad made a mess, and now Brad has to clean it up. Julian turned his life around. He’s Charlie now. Trust and love is the surest way between an act of violence, and the life he’s worked so hard to change. Brad says he’ll be screwed anyway. He’s delusional. Sonny hates him on a good day, and they’ve been seen together. Sonny will kill them both, and the only way to save them is to shut Obrecht up for good.

Nina welcomes Michael in. He’s sorry he showed up without calling; he didn’t know Sasha was there. Nina says, doctor’s orders. Finn didn’t like her so far away from the hospital. He asks Sasha if they can talk privately, but she says what he has to say, he can say in front of everyone. Valentin suggests he and Nina leave them alone, and Sasha says she and Nina definitely have to talk later. They leave, and Sasha says if Michael doesn’t want her in his mother’s hotel, she’ll leave. He says he’s not there to evict her. He asks how she’s feeling, and she says, like she hates herself. She had the benefit of Nina’s love and his kindness, and doesn’t deserve either. He has every right to call her out. Have at it. He says, actually, he’s there to apologize.

Willow sees Wyatt, and asks if he needs help finding his room. Wyatt doesn’t say anything, and she asks if he can’t speak, or does a cat have his tongue? Finn says he found his favorite PC Pioneer. Wyatt just looks at him, and he says, that bad. Willow asks how he knows Wyatt, and Finn says, he’s kind of a hero. He helped rescue Peter when he was held captive. Wyatt says he’s no hero. He tried, but he blew it.

Chase tells Laura and Curtis that Cassandra is going to be booked, and he’ll get their statements. Laura says, Curtis outsmarted the queen of criminals, but Cassandra says he wouldn’t have been able to turn the tables if she hadn’t let him. She’d like a word with the mayor alone. Chase says, absolutely not, but Laura says, okay. She checks the interrogation room, and seeing it’s empty, they go in.

Valentin and Nina find Obrecht at the MetroCourt. Nina says they have good news. Obrecht says that’s what she likes to see; Nina happy. It makes her realize how lucky she is. Nina says she’s the lucky one. She has so much. They’re a ragtag group of complex personalities, but they’re family. Obrecht says they’re fortunate to have each other. Family sticks together. Nina tells her that Nathen isn’t there to walk her down aisle, and it would mean the world to her if Obrecht gave her away.

Wyatt sits next to Willow, eating a bowl of Ice cream. Finn says he checked Wyatt’s chart, and his surgery was a big time success. The hospital just wants to keep him for observation and to eat ice cream. Willow says, that’s good news, but Wyatt says he was scared at first. She says, who wouldn’t be? Surgery is scary. He says Peter helped him to be brave so he could have it. He tried to do the same for another kid, but everything he said sounded silly. He wanted to feel like he feels when he plays the cello, with no worries. Willow says she tried to play the cello, but she wasn’t very good. She played for two months, but couldn’t get it to sound right. The bow kept locking on the string. Wyatt says, the bow didn’t have enough resin, and she says she wishes she’d had someone like him to help out, but there still might be a  way for him to help the other kid out.

Julian tells Brad, when Obrecht dies, what about Wiley’s birth mother, Nelle? Is he prepared to kill her? And there’s always Britt. Once he takes her out, when is he going to decide it’s enough? Once you go down that road, there’s no turning around. You can’t start over. You can either live in fear or live for the people you love. He’s made his choice, and nothing will make him regret it.

Kim asks Franco if this really happened, or is she just dreaming. Franco says, if you asked him, reality is the world they dream, and they’re real. She says, when she looks into his eyes, she sees her friend’s husband. Franco says he’s not. He feels bad for Elizabeth, but he didn’t make any promises. Kim says she made a promise to Julian. Julian has been there for her in her darkest days, and he loves her. He changed his whole life, and he’s leaving everything for her. Franco says she and Julian made a connection before they met. No fault there. They’ve been broken, and went to hell and back, but here they are. They won.

Finn says Wyatt’s mom is on the way with his cello. They’re going to have a mini concert to see if music might help the kid waiting on his surgery. Wyatt isn’t sure he wants to join in, and Willow asks if he has stage fright. He says he didn’t mention he’s not that good, but she says he’s a hero just for trying. He asks if she’s staying, and she says she wouldn’t miss it.

Cassandra says she could do without the handcuffs, but Laura says they’re staying. She won’t though, if Cassandra doesn’t start talking. Why did she ask to speak to Laura alone? Cassandra says, cards on the table. She’s prepared to do Laura a big favor in exchange for her freedom. She’ll bury Valentin once and for all. Tell her that’s not of mutual interest.

Obrecht tells Nina that she’s touched, and asks if Valentin put her up to this. Valentin assures her not. Nina asks why she would think it was his idea, and she says, an olive branch. They’re not the biggest family, and they’ve had their differences, but they’re still family, and family matters most. Nina says hers is getting bigger, and she wants everyone there when they exchange vows. So is that a yes? Obrecht says, yes, and hugs her. Nina says she wants the wedding to be perfect. It has to last them the rest of their lives. Obrecht hopes so, and Valentin says she doesn’t need to hope. They’re going to have the happy ending they deserve, no matter what it takes.

Sasha says she doesn’t want Michael’s pity. She doesn’t want him drying her tears. He says he’s not there out of pity, and she says, then why apologize? He says he’s sorry about how he reacted. It triggered him, and brought up stuff he has every right to be angry about. Nelle was so good at playing the victim, he nearly turned his back on his family, and he never should have made a comparison. Sasha says, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. He says that’s what he was thinking, but when he cooled down, he realized she’s nothing like Nelle. Sasha says, they’re both liars, but he says, Nelle intentionally targeted his family, intending to cause misery. Sasha was just doing a job. Valentin hired her, not to take advantage, but to be the daughter Nina always waned. She says she could have turned him down, or walked away at any time. Instead, she got in deeper, and convinced herself it was the last time. Michael says she was trying to help her grandmother. It’s not an excuse, but it doesn’t make her a monster. Trust him. He knows the difference.

Cassandra tells Laura, it’s a straightforward transaction. Get her released, and she’ll make sure Valentin is out of commission once and for all. She knows Laura doesn’t approve of her, but Valentin is much worse. Laura doesn’t know about that. It’s not within her power to bargain for Cassandra’s freedom, and even if it was, she wouldn’t do it. Cassandra says, too bad. They would have made quite a team. Laura tells Chase that they’re done. Cassandra reminds Chase that she still has a phone call, and asks if she can have privacy. She’d also like the handcuffs removed; they’re bruising her delicate wrists. Laura says, too bad. She’d better make her phone call work. She’s going to need a really good lawyer.

Valentin says they have so much to celebrate. Obrecht’s roll in the wedding, and Sasha’s recovery. Obrecht says she wasn’t planning on drinking tonight, but she’ll drink to this. To family. They clink glasses. Valentin gets a call from the PCPD. It’s Cassandra, who says it’s good to hear his voice.

Sasha tells Michael, as bad as she feels for lying to him, she feels worse about lying to Nina. She tried to keep her distance, but Nina wouldn’t have it. She was determined to build a relationship. She loves Sasha so much. Sasha starts to cry, and says, or thinks she does. The irony is, she’s come to love Nina too. Michael says he has to hand it to Valentin. He knew Nina wanted a daughter more than anything, and he knew where to find one. He couldn’t risk hiring a con artist, who might use Nina’s love to take her money. He had to find someone strong, decent, and down on her luck, and he found Sasha. Sasha thanks him, saying he’s very generous; too generous, but she’ll try to live up to it. She’s finally doing the decent thing, and has to tell Nina. Michael agrees. Nina deserves to know the truth, but maybe not right now.

Finn asks how the concert went, and Willow says, standing room only. Wyatt is a better cellist than he thinks. He can play the march from Raiders of the Lost Ark. A woman approaches Willow, and says the offer is official. She’s just the kind of teacher GH is looking for. Willow can’t wait to get started, and the woman says HR will contact her to discuss the next step. Finn says they’re going to be colleagues. Congratulations.

Brad tells Julian, fine. Start his new life in Manhattan, and he and Lucas will be there with Obrecht tightening the screws. Julian suggests he get on Obrecht’s good side, but Brad , she doesn’t have one. Julian says, find one. He need to protect his family, and if that means making Obrecht happy, do it. They’ve already lost too much.

Franco says, he’s a free man. Kim says it’s like the years they lost were found again. Franco says they could have a happy life together; he promises. Kim says, but if being happy means making other people miserable… He says the longer he stays, the more difficult it will be for Elizabeth and her boys. They need to make a clean break. Nothing will stop him and Kim. They’re about to kiss, and Elizabeth stands outside the door.

Tomorrow, Maxie wants Lulu to tell her everything, Elizabeth tells Kim they need to talk, Cameron says he finally got what he wanted, and Shiloh has important information for someone.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Emily asks Annabelle if she knows where mommy is going on her trip. Annabelle says, Costco. Emily calls Braunwyn, who’s excited to see Emily on stage. In Emily’s interview, she says she hasn’t been this nervous in a long time. She was a cheerleader, and danced in the past, but there’s a difference between a high school auditorium and a Vegas show. I’d say so. Braunwyn says they’re going to have a great time.

Gina sees lawyer Michael. He says she had a scheduled arraignment, but due to a misunderstanding or whatnot, her previous law firm didn’t show up. I guess lawyers don’t like to call other lawyers idiots. He tells her that he’s continued the arraignment, and they need to talk strategy. He needs to ask for what’s called discovery, making sure he has all the reports the prosecution has. In her interview, Gina says Shannon gave her the gift of her attorney, to help straighten out the biggest screw up of her life. She’ll be forever grateful. Gina asks about her license, and he says she’s probably looking at a year. She says, it sucks, especially being a single parent. Michael says, it could be worse, and she starts to cry. She says, it was stupid. Thank God no one was hurt, but she feels terrible. In her interview, she says she’s disappointed in herself. She made a decision that’s having a negative impact on her kids. She’s disappointed in herself for letting her kids down. She asks if she should go to the arraignment, and he says, 100%. If their plan is to accept a plea, it’s going to help her if she goes. It shows she’s accepting the judge’s sentencing. She says, she did it.

At some kind of health convention, Kelly is hawking Positive h2o vitamin water. She’s not a formulator, but a partner. In her interview, Kelly says she got a lump sum in the divorce. It’s enough for a while, but not the rest of her life. The cost of living is high in the OC, and her Amex bill is $30K a month. What the blip is she buying? Friends Zack and George came up with the concept, and she invested a quarter million dollars. She believes strongly in the product. Tamra and Eddie come by, and Kelly tells them she’s going to Emily’s burlesque show. Emily is doing a sexy dance. Tamra wonders why she and Shannon weren’t invited. In Tamra’s interview, she says she thought she just made a breakthrough with Emily. She thought they were good, now this makes her wonder who Emily is. Kelly says, after she gets back, she’s going to Arizona with Tamra. Tamra says they’re branching out with their health products at the gym. Give her the pitch. Kelly puts on sunglasses because the future’s so bright, she’s gotta wear shades.

Emily arrives at the Westgate in Las Vegas. Larry and Pary have come along. She’s celebrating her ten year anniversary with her in-laws. She says it means a lot that they’re supporting her, but she thought her husband would be there. Butler Valentino shows them around their suite, which is more like a town. It’s 15,400 square feet, and includes a private pool. Braunwyn walks in, and says, it’s like Liberace times a million. She’s taken nice trips before, but if this is VIP service, they’re going to have fun. Emily calls Shane, and tells him the suite is bigger than his parents’ house. He says, there’s a bad connection, which is probably bullsh*t.

Emily rehearses. The choreographer tells her not to think about the steps, just let her body move. In Emily’s interview, she says she wants to show people who’s sexy. She’s not the typical blonde, tiny OC girl. In Braunwyn’s interview, she says she hasn’t been awake past 10 pm in a year. She deserves this trip. Valentino takes pictures of her, I assume for her social media. She says, life good for Braunwyn right now. She drinks and jumps around, then soaks in the tub. Emily tells the choreographer, body rolling is hard, and the choreographer tells her to think about sex. Emily thinks about a taco, and the choreographer loves it.

Kelly is greeted by Westgate mascot Sir Winston, a Wheaten terrier. Emily comes back to the suite. She tells Braunwyn that she kept messing up, and Braunwyn tells her, no matter what happens, keep going. In Emily’s interview, she says it’s totally different than when she was rehearsing in her kitchen. In her kitchen, she was a 10. On the Vegas stage, she’s a 2; maybe a 3. Kelly joins them, asking if she’s in Versailles. She tells them that she met Barry Manilow on her way in, and shows them a picture. In her interview, she says she’s not a Fanilow like Shannon, who’s way older, but he’s an icon. Emily jokes that he’s partying with them tonight.

Emily gets her makeup done. Braunwyn and Kelly get dressed. They declare each other hot. Braunwyn explains that she likes to carry a little blackboard with her, and write messages on it. Right now it says, What happens in Vegas.  Braunwyn is glad it’s a smaller group. Kelly is afraid to go to Arizona. With Vicki there, it’s going to be a sh*t show. She’s not a perfect person. She tried drugs when she was in her 20s, but she doesn’t do drugs, and now she’s a whore. We flash back to the train rumor. She says, it’s absurd. She wants nothing to do with Vicki. Vicki is not her friend, Vicki is her foe, and Kelly wants to keep it that way.  Braunwyn knows Shannon has good intentions, and wants it to be a positive experience, but with Vicki there, it’s going to be harder. Kelly has to look at Vicki as completely irrelevant. Emily comes out, and Braunwyn asks how she’s feeling. Emily says, good, and Braunwyn says she’s proud of her. It’s supposed to be her anniversary. Emily says, it was for Shane. Screw him.

Emily is told that she’s the sixth number in the show. The girls in the audience toast to Emily bringing sexy back. Btw, the name of the show is Sexxy. In her interview, Emily says she’s nervous, and wondering what the hell she got herself into. Why did she think this was a good idea? She’s wearing a thong and a lace bodysuit, she’s had one practice, and she’s going to dance on a Vegas stage. What was she thinking? it’s show time.

Braunwyn says, as a dance mom, she approves of the choreography. And the boobs are nice. In Kelly’s interview, she think Emily’s in-laws are cool. They’re in their 70s, and there to watch a titty show. She can imagine what goes on in the bedroom. Emily does her dance, with women wearing pasties dancing around her. Kelly says she screwed up a little bit, but there’s no way in hell she would do this. Once Emily gets going, she’s pretty good, and the screw-up actually worked in the grand scheme of the dance. It’s like she comes into the middle of this bevy of half-naked chicks, and at the end they lure her into their group and she walks off with them. Pary says, it makes you feel like you want to dance. Kelly says it makes her feel like she wants to do a lot of things. In Emily’s interview, she says, Shane missed out. How can you not have fun with naked ladies? They all decide to go to the bar.

The next morning, the women hang out in the suite, along with Larry and Pary. Braunwyn says, it was so much fun, and Kelly says she had a blast. Shane shows up with flowers. Wtf? How dare he make me almost want to like him. In Emily’s interview, she says she’s sure if she looks out the window, pigs will be flying. Hell has also frozen over. It means a lot. She’s usually the one who takes care of things like childcare. He had to book a flight, buy a plane ticket, and plan things. He gets an A for effort. In Kelly’s interview, she says she’s shocked the little dork showed up. Emily and Shane are left alone, and Emily says, this is a huge step in the right direction. She was feeling isolated. Shane says she was with his parents and her friends, and she chose to come. She says she’s talking about feeling isolated in the marriage. She’s been feeling a disconnection. Shane says they just go with the flow. In their interview, Shane says, being married to Emily is extreme. Emily says, triple extreme. She tells him that they need to commit to having a good marriage to have happy kids. It’s something the kids see and emulate, and want to be around. He tells her, well said, and she says she’s committed to do whatever it takes to make them happy. What he did was a huge gesture of love and care. They’re not perfect, and need to work on some things. He says he accepts her the way she is, and kisses her.

Tamra, mom Sandy, and Gina go to LaserAway for some procedures. Sandy tells Gina to call her if she finds herself in a situation again. She’ll pick Gina up. In her interview, Gina says she’s been embracing the OC lifestyle more than she thought she would. She’s getting Botox – OC crack. Tamra wants to get rid of sun damage, but nothing too invasive. Tamra doesn’t know what they’re going to be doing Arizona. Gina thinks it’s yoga. She says she’s that desperate and messed up right now. Tamra says, it can only be up from here. In Gina’s interview, she says she’s gone through a sh*t storm. She got arrested, she’s losing her license for a year, and her husband, who she’s co-parenting with, took up with the woman he had the affair with. She was knocked on her ass hard. She tells Tamra that Shannon reached out to her. Emily was too busy doing her Vegas show. Tamra asks what the purpose of it is, and Gina says she thinks it’s weird. Emily put pressure on her to go. The kids were with Matt, and she couldn’t even get out of bed. We see a clip of Emily FaceTiming with her, and telling her to come out there. Tamra says, the guilt trip. In Tamra’s interview, she says Gina has been going through a lot. The last place she needs to be is Sin City. Gina says Emily’s in-laws are going, and Tamra says, happy anniversary, babe. I just gave your dad a boner. She’s being crude, but it is kind of odd.

Everyone gets ready, and after a two-second plane ride, they’re stepping out of the limo at Miraval. Shannon says they’re one step closer to healing. Gina says, let’s get well, people. Shannon tells them, they don’t have individual rooms. There are two villas. Theirs has a bedroom with two beds, and since Vicki is only going to be there one day, she asked if Gina would share. In her interview, Emily says, Vicki will have just enough time to swoop in, irritate Kelly, and get the hell out of Dodge. The group is greeted with some kind of fancy juice drinks. In Shannon’s interview, she says she loves anything natural or alternative that helps you to be spiritual. There’s a giant gong near the entrance, and Shannon asks if they can hit it. Kelly makes several gong (rhymes with dong) jokes, and in her interview, Shannon says she’s feeling negative energy from Kelly. Kelly thinks if Shannon got gonged once in a while, she’d be happy too.

The women are taken to the sound tent where they’re going to get their energy cleared. I’m really trying not to roll my eyes. Kelly says, good luck with that. Shannon says, too bad Vicki’s not there. Shannon tells the instructor that they’ve all been friends a while. They’ve all been though stresses, and it’s time they worked through issues and become closer as a group. The instructor places a bowl of water in the center, and tells them, think of something they want to let go of, and what they want to bring in. As they speak, each woman takes petals from a yellow rose and throws them into the bowl of water, passing the rose on. A dude named Tim gently hits a gong in between the speakers. Emily wants to get rid of anger, and reacting before thinking. She’d like more appreciation as a wife, mom, and friend. She does so much that no one notices. In Emily’s interview, she says Gina hasn’t been responsive to her calls or texts. She doesn’t know if Gina is busy or what’s going on. All she knows is Gina isn’t talking to her. Gina is letting go of being sad that she’s not having the life she thought she would. I hear you, sista. Shannon lets go of bitterness and resentment over her marriage ending, and choses happiness. Tamra wants to let go of the things she has no control over. and chooses the Lord to guide her. Braunwyn says she married as a teenager, and never adulted. She wants to let go of being dependent, and chooses to be the kind of person her children can look up to. Kelly lets go of her anger. She says she has a positive beverage she thinks will reach everyone, and chooses Costco, Target, and Walmart. In her interview, Shannon says, this is a place of healing, and Kelly is making a mockery of it. They all want success in business, but how superficial. Don’t mock the process. This is one of the reasons I don’t like Shannon. Who is she to set rules on what someone else should want? I’ll bet if it was a couple of years ago, she’d be asking for the same thing for her fish sticks, or whatever it is she sells.

The instructor explains that if they want, Tim will put a bowl on their head, and clear their aura. Okay, now I’m stifling a guffaw. Shannon stands in a bowl, and Tim puts another one on her head. He hits the bottom bowl, and Kelly comes up behind Shannon, and hits the bowl on her head. Tim says, that was not cool. It probably wasn’t a good idea, but I can’t say I blame Kelly. When they’re done with the aura clearing, the instructor asks how Shannon feels. She said, one of them hurt, and Tamra says, Kelly did that. Kelly says, it wasn’t hard. In Tamra’s interview, she says she has no words for Kelly. Shannon says her head is killing her. Tim tells them, have an amazing stay. He probably can’t get the hell out of there fast enough. Hostess Vanessa says the power is out, and she’ll take them to their villa.

Everything is lit by candles, and there’s a fire in the fireplace. Sitting outside, Tamra asks how Shannon’s head is, and she says, it hurts. She asks how Shannon’s chakra is, and Shannon says, messed up. In her interview, Shannon says the trip was supposed to be for healing, and making people more spiritual. She can take a joke, but there are certain lines you don’t cross. Getting physical isn’t funny. I guess that’s why there’s so much of it on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Tamra stupidly tells Shannon about Ryan’s father hitting his head, and it leading to spinal fluid leaking. Shannon says her left eye is blurry; she took her contacts out. She shines the light from her phone in her eyes, and tells Tamra to check. Tamra says her pupils are dilated from the light. She thinks Shannon should talk to the doctor.

Sitting with Braunwyn and Emily, Kelly says she didn’t mean to be malicious, She imitates Shannon saying she was trying to get her aura out of her system, and now she has a concussion. Shannon is getting worked up, and tells Tamra and Gina that she’s not supposed to be crying. This was supposed to be a fun girls trip, and now she’s scared. Tamra says sometimes Shannon talks herself into things, but Shannon says she can’t talk herself into blurry vision. I dunno about that. Tamra tells her to get checked out. The staff, who’s been hanging around, waiting for them to eat, are just trying to look straight ahead. Tamra says Shannon doesn’t want swelling in the brain, In Tamra’s interview, she says she knows Shannon overreacts; that’s who she is. We flash back to Shannon overreacting. Tamra says, in order for Shannon to settle down, she has to see a doctor who will tell her it’s okay, and then she can move on. Tamra say she’ll take Shannon, and asks why they can’t go on a trip and have it be peaceful.

Emily tells Kelly that Gina has been hanging around with Shannon. We see a clip of Gina telling Emily that she and Shannon drank a whole bottle of tequila. Kelly says it wasn’t that long ago when Gina was complaining that Shannon wouldn’t speak with her. Braunwyn says if someone is mean to you, then suddenly is, you shouldn’t just go with it. We flash back on animosity between Shannon and Kelly, ending with not my plate. Braunwyn says Shannon has been nice to her since day one, and she likes Shannon. Gina calls, and says she’s having a romantic dinner by herself. Tamra took Shannon to urgent care. Kelly asks, why? and Gina says because Kelly whacked her in the head. In her interview, Kelly says she was just trying to put a ring in Shannon’s ding. Gina suggests they come eat with her; she has chefs. Kelly says, did she not call it? Braunwyn says Shannon just wants to make sure she’s okay, and Kelly says, she’s a dumbass.

In the car, Shannon feels like she should call someone. She looks at her phone, and says she feels like she can’t see. Um… she did take her contacts out. In Shannon’s interview, she says, what kind of dumbass wouldn’t want to be checked out? Tamra calls Vicki, and tells her, Shannon had a bowl on her head, and Kelly hit the top of it with a mallet. Vicki says, Kelly is out of control. Tamra says they want to make sure nothing is wrong with Shannon, and asks when Vicki is getting there. Vicki says her flight is landing at around ten, and Tamra tells her to call them when she gets there. They pull into the emergency parking lot.

In Shannon’s interview, she says, so far, it’s hashtag not so zen yet. A nurse asks if she wanted to press charges. It’s assault.

To be continued…   

Next time, Vicki arrives bearing shakes and burgers; Tamra asks Emily why she and Shannon weren’t invited; Emily says she wanted to invite people who were supportive and kind, and they make fun of her; Emily confronts Gina about her drinking.

👼 On To the Next Life…

An original makes an exit.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/one-life-to-live-phyllis-newman-dead-172677

💻 The Jackal Returns…

No clue as to what he’ll be hacking.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-bradford-anderson-return-132362

🐪 The Obvious Wednesday Choice…

And I gotta admit, it’s pretty catchy.