Tag Archives: Real Housewives

May 30, 2016 – No GH, Charm from the South & Farther South

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

No General Hospital today (sniff!). They showed a rerun of the accident where Jason saved Dante and regained some memory. At least it was a good choice.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

While Stephanie is checking out a venue for Travis’s birthday, he’s taking care of the boys. Apparently, his birthday is a huge deal that Stephanie compares to the second coming. He asks if Stephanie needs his assistant, Courtney, but Stephanie wonders if he really wants Courtney to check out what she’s doing.

Cary and Mark discuss their daughter Zuri’s third birthday coming up. Since Mark loves to shop, Cary is hoping he didn’t get her too many things. I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that he did.

Stephanie thinks a Gatsby theme is the way to go for the party. She asks Courtney to deal with the invites. Brandi suggests she give him the gift of a grave. I guess that’s for the person who has everything.

Here comes Leeanne, so look out. She’s meeting Rich for lunch. She has a motivational speech coming up with The Grace Project, for women who have HIV/AIDS. There are going to be about 600 people and Rich says he could never talk in front of that many. She says the women live in shame about their disease (which is just sad in 2016) and since she had shame over being sexually abused as a child, she wants to alleviate that for them.

Stephanie says she’s getting along with Leeanne right now, but she’s worried that if she invites her to Travis’s party, there will be drama. Leeanne and Brandi still aren’t on great terms.

Tiffany meets with Leeanne before Leeanne’s speech. She’s pretty happy about the House of Blues event going so well, and thinks that Aaron might finally call Dallas home. Leeanne says two women in their community were murdered because they came out as HIV positive. What? Don’t elaborate on that or anything.

Leeanne talks about being molested by her best friend’s father and later, her fiance trying to kill her (not Mark). She says this gave her various underserving labels, but their label needs to be “I am worthy.” She wants all of them in the light, sharing their story. Tiffany is glad Stephanie is there to see this side of Leeanne. Too bad Leeanne isn’t like this 98% of the time.

Stephanie says it’s hard being the only girl in the house, and expects a nervous breakdown by the time she’s 40. The boys suggest getting daddy “poo-poo” for his birthday. Yep, typical boys. Stephanie calls Brandi and tells her about Cruz also suggesting a poop birthday cake. Since Stephanie is poop obsessed, I’m sure she appreciates that. Stephanie tells her about Leeanne’s speech and how she saw a different side of her. She wants to invite her to Travis’s party. Brandi says with tequila, it will all be good. Why anyone drinks that stuff is beyond me.

Travis wants to know about his birthday, but Stephanie wants it to be a surprise. Stephanie says Travis likes to micro-manage her and doesn’t know where business ends and their personal life begins. She says she feels like he treats her like a child and wants him to take a step back and let her do things on her own. He gets it, and tells her about how his mother gave them lists as a child and it’s spilled over into his adult life. She says she doesn’t need added pressure because she puts enough on herself already. He says they grew up differently, but opposites attract and they’re living proof.

Brandi calls Leeanne and asks if they can meet for lunch or coffee and clear the air. She says there’s been a lot of “miscommunication,” which is what people say when they’ve called each other names.

It’s Zuri’s birthday. She’s wearing a dress that Mark bought her in Italy that’s the same design as Cary’s wedding dress. I can’t imagine what it must have cost, and think he’s probably out of his mind, since she’ll only be able to wear it for about a month.

Brandi is anxious about meeting with Leeanne. After hearing about Brandi’s brother trying to commit suicide, Leeanne says it put life in perspective. Brandi says she admires Leeanne for sharing her story and apologizes for pushing her buttons. Leeanne says she knows she has a side that isn’t pretty, but that’s not who she is. Ugh!!! I hate when people say that. If it wasn’t you, who was it? She wants to be able to hang out with Brandi and have a good time. She thinks this might be their moment to move forward. They talk about Travis’s birthday party and hug it out.

It’s shopping time. Stephanie and Brandi look for Gatsby dresses. Brandi tells Stephanie about the meeting with Leeanne. Stephanie says Brandi had better not ditch her for Leeanne. Ha-ha! Not too likely. No surprise, the dresses are amazing. Lots of glitter and feathers.

Brandi asks one of her daughters if she likes boys. She says no because they have tails. That’s a new one on me, but okay, I can roll with that.

Cary is hoping they can have a mature evening at Travis’s birthday. Cary is wearing her dress from her wedding reception and Mark is stoked.

Stephanie says she hopes Travis appreciates all the planning, and if he doesn’t, he’s an a-hole. Ha-ha! Everyone shows up looking fabulous. Tiffany says she feels an arctic wind when Cary comes in. Cary says Stephanie is being all rainbows and unicorns about everyone getting along. Lots of drinking and laughing, which is quite a change. Brandi suggests they all take a girls’ trip to Austin.

The cake comes out, decorated with sparklers. Stephanie says Travis seems genuinely happy about how his birthday turned out. Some woman talking to Travis says she’s going to be 46 soon and I choke on my coffee. It reminds me of the time I did a panel on skin care. We went around the table saying our ages. I was actually 46 at the time, and the woman next to me said she was too. You could have heard a pin drop. Either she was dyslexic and had the numbers backward, or she’d lived a really, really tough life. Like outside in the desert.

After the party, Stephanie has a surprise for Travis. She jumps out of a giant cake, singing Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to get out of the cake than it was to get in.

Next time, an Austin road trip, Leeanne threatens Marie’s life, and Cary tells Leeanne she’s crazy.

Southern Charm

In LA, Whitney manages to annoy me just by cracking eggs into a bowl. Larissa is there already, but Shep and Craig are coming tomorrow. He tells Larissa about Craig getting Naomie a promise ring, since they’re in middle school.

Cooper and Kathryn go to the spa. She says she’s never had a facial before and I frown on Thomas not springing for a spa day for her ever. She talks about having the new baby, and says this time she and Thomas won’t be going home together. She says sometimes they get along really well, but she doesn’t want to be too hopeful. Cooper realistically tells her that Thomas is a 50-year-old playboy and highly unlikely to change. He tells her to be strengthened rather than frustrated, although I don’t know how his assessment is supposed to help with that.

Thomas and JD play some polo. Afterward, they talk about watching their kids play polo one day. Thomas tells him the baby is coming on Monday. JD thinks it’s peculiar that Kathryn moved up the due date. Hello? The doctor moved up the due date. He alludes that maybe the baby isn’t Thomas’s. He doesn’t know if he “believes in two accidents.” Well, if Thomas didn’t want a second “accident,” he should have used a preventative measure.

Craig meets Naomie for dinner. She asks if he’s going to LA. He says he wants to. He says he still believes Kathryn about Whitney, but he’s going to let it go for the sake of their friendship. JD’s bourbon launch is on Saturday, but Craig says he’ll be back by then. He says he’s already done everything JD asked him to, and he thinks all should go well. Naomie says if it doesn’t, no doubt it will be all his fault.

Landon and Cameran go to a candle-making class. Cameran asks her about the travel magazine she wants to start. She says Landon is used to being taken care of, and seems to be floundering. She asks Landon about man prospects, but there’s nothing on the horizon. Cameran wonders if she thinks something could work out with Shep, and maybe that’s why she isn’t finding anyone else. Landon says kinda sorta, and in her interview, says that she has with Shep what she didn’t have in her marriage. Cameran says she should figure out a way to make it happen. Um…no, don’t do this.

Shep and Craig get to Whitney’s house in LA. Whitney acts like a bit of an asshat, ignoring Craig for the most part. Eww! They’re drinking Coors, the weewee of beers. Whitney says Craig has taken on a persona that’s “less amusing” than he was. Craig apologizes and Whitney is so dense, he can’t even figure out why Craig would care about Kathryn. Whitney accepts the apology, but in his interview says that he’s leery of trusting him now. Larissa arises from her jet lag nap and they all go out to a party. Whitney says Shep’s Southern goofiness works in Charleston, but not so much in LA.

That’s okay, Shep drank too much tequila to score anyway.

JD goes over the list for the whiskey event at the Charleston Cup. His assistant says that she and Craig went over some things, but she can’t seem to hunt him down. JD says Craig has wanted to be more involved with the bourbon, and it’s a perfect opportunity, but now he can’t be found. Craig’s voicemail is full, so JD leaves a message on Shep’s phone. Shep passes along the info and wonders how he got involved. Craig says he’s going back the next day and he just does grunt work for JD anyway. Craig wants to go for a massage and Shep wonders what happened to just getting drunk and laughing your balls off.

Thomas and Kathryn meet for lunch. Thomas tells her she’s getting to be an expert at the baby thing. He says he senses fear and she says a little, since she’s going to be alone this time. Thomas says he can see she’s nervous and overwhelmed, and he wants to be there for her.

Back in LA, the masseuse arrives. She talks about connecting with herself and Shep rolls his eyes. They talk about energy transference, but I think Shep is really flirting. He asks Craig how the trip went for him and says he appreciates him not bugging Whitney since he went out on a limb for him. He flirts some more with the masseuse.

It’s time for the Charleston Cup, but no Craig. That’s because he’s still in bed. Landon calls Shep to see if he’s coming, but his grandfather passed away and he has to go to Alabama. He says his grandfather lived a wonderful life to the age of 94 and it will be more of a celebration of his life than a funeral.

JD complains to Cameran that he had to do everything himself because Craig is late. Actually, Craig isn’t sounding too good. He has a sinus infection and he’s coughing and hacking like crazy. Danni gives us the information that a few years ago, there were only five whiskey distilleries in the US and now there are 700. There’s only one for me. It’s called Wild Turkey. When they arrive, JD whines some more.

Everyone complains about how cold it is, which is a first since I’ve been watching this show. It’s usually a million degrees there. JD makes a speech and thanks everyone except Craig. I don’t blame Craig for getting lackadaisical with JD. He’s not exactly the most encouraging guy on the planet. He talks to Craig during the match or race or whatever the blip it is. Craig says he’d thought he had everything in place. In his interview, he says he feels like JD has taken advantage of him and working with him wasn’t going to be his forever, just a way to get back in Charleston.

Thomas asks Kathryn if she wants him to spend the night, but she says just picking her up in the morning will be fine. Thomas says he’s always wanted a big, traditional family and a house filled with laughter. He says he still loves and cares for Kathryn, but doesn’t think it will ever work. She asks how he’s feeling about tomorrow, and he says a little scared and apprehensive. She says she thinks they’re doing a good job of being friends right now. He says he’ll be there for her, and it’s probably the first time I’ve actually liked him.

It’s time to go to the hospital. Fastest delivery ever. And quite a tiny baby. Thomas talks about Stephen Spielberg saying his greatest creation was his children. He tells the baby not to make the same dumb mistakes he did.

Next time, Cameran is worried about not wanting children, the new baby comes home, Craig gets called out on not taking the bar exam, Landon confesses that she might love Shep and Shep does not look thrilled.

May 27, 2016 – Good-by to the Nurses Ball & the Couches

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Curtis reminds Nicholas that he tried to kill Hayden once before and says maybe he wants to finish the job. Hayden adds, especially since Nicholas saw her with the police commissioner.

Robin asks if there’s anything Griff can’t do and Anna says she thought he couldn’t dance. That’s right, she gave him a tango lesson. That is totally different from break dancing though.

Sam goes to look for Lucas. Jason asks Carly where Michael is, and tells her about the ELQ assets being frozen. She says he’s out of town with Sonny. Jason wants to try and fix it before it becomes a bigger problem, and asks her not to say anything to Michael. Sonny, Michael and Morgan show up at the ball.

Bobbie sees Lucas on the floor next to her hospital bed.

Lucy says they have time to kill and asks if anyone would like to do an impromptu performance. No. So she asks to play an audience participation game called has anyone seen Lucas? Amy remembers that she was supposed to tell them he was at the hospital with Bobbie.

Finn puts a syringe away. Quick change artist Griff is already back at the hospital and while he’s talking to Finn, they hear Bobbie yell for help.

Lucy wants Epiphany to do something and she says magnificence takes time and her act can’t be rushed. Lucy grabs Kiki and Dillon. Kiki says it was supposed to be later, but Lucy says an empty stage means people who contribute money aren’t being entertained.

Hayden says Jordan shut her down. Nicholas asks her to come home and he’ll give her the diamonds. Curtis tells her not to go. He says she won’t get the diamonds unless she pries them from Nicholas’s cold, dead hand. Nicholas says he’s giving her a one time offer. She says if he’s leaving now, she’s not going.

Lucy introduces Kiki and Dillon. They do Shawn Mendes’s Stitches. Not bad. It looks like they make a connection while they’re singing.

Brad wonders why Lucas didn’t text him. He thinks Lucas got cold feet, but Felix doesn’t think so.

Griff tries to get Lucas’s heart started. Bobbie says he’s diabetic and wonders if that has anything to do with it. Lucas’s phone rings. It’s Brad. Bobbie picks it up and tells him to get to the hospital, but don’t alarm anyone about Lucas. Brad tells Felix that Lucas had a hospital emergency. He says Lucas is on break and he’s going to see him. Nice lying without technically lying. Brad has had a lot of practice at that.

Lucy is wearing the most fabulous outfit ever – a white lace, backless dress with bell sleeves and mermaid hem (lots of those this year) and the earrings are wow. She’s changed about four times already.

Sonny tells Dante about Sabrrrina.

Nina tells Kiki and Dillon they make her believe she can fall in love again. Dillon wonders why everyone thinks they’re a couple. He says Morgan is a fool for letting Kiki go. They kiss. Saw that coming miles away. Morgan walks in. No surprise there either, but dude, you told her to move on.

Michael asks Morgan if everything is okay. Morgan says it’s just hard to adjust. Carly thanks Andre for everything he’s done for Morgan and Andre says Morgan is almost ready to be discharged.

Robin talks to Sonny. Jason joins them. Robin says the Nurses Ball has always been about remembrances, but also being thankful for what they have.

Lucy takes the stage and explains why the ball is named after the nurses, and talks about how they’re the backbone of everything and have to take doctors’ orders. Dante’s phone rings. It’s Lulu on stage. Milo gets a call from Epiphany on stage. The girls sing Doctor’s Orders, with Epiphany leading. Lulu does a bit of a solo dance. They do those Supremes hand moves that I love.

Nicholas photographs the diamonds and texts Hayden saying they can come to an agreement. A storm comes up outside. Thunder and lightening starts happening.

Brad gets to the hospital where Griff is working on Lucas. They use the defibrillator.

Morgan says he feels a little overwhelmed, so he’s going to take off. Sonny says he’ll take him back and Carly says she’d like to come too.

Finally, Lucas has a heartbeat. Bobbie says she has no idea what happened. All of a sudden his heart just stopped beating. Damn. Even I was nervous for a minute.

Nicholas waits for Hayden at Windemere. Curtis asks Hayden where she’s headed. She says if Nicholas hasn’t killed her by now, he’s not going to. Curtis says she hadn’t crossed the line before, but Nicholas knows she talked to Jordan. She says it worked, and Curtis says he’s tired of saving her from herself.

Sam tells Jason she doesn’t want Franco to ruin his night. He says it’s not that, it’s the lawsuit. Michael joins them and Sam excuses herself. Michael says he wants to make Jason proud with his work at ELQ. D’oh!

Carly and Sonny discuss Morgan. Sonny tells her how great she looks and Carly claims she looks younger because of the Aveeno stuff in her gift bag. Nice plug.

Lucy introduces Robin. She’s like the person who explains the Academy Award system every year during the Oscars. She talks about a new medication that can prevent HIV, but there has been a rise in infection among young, gay men of “low means,” meaning poor or homeless. She talks about Stone, who died 21 years ago. She says she expects to live to see the day we conquer HIV/AIDS and the whole thing makes me cry.

Amy wants to do a song with Felix, but Epiphany says Sabrrrina owned the song. She’s like, okay, I’ll go solo and grabs the mic from Lucy to sing. Sabrrrina comes out and sings You’re Not Alone with her. As they sing, Sabrrrina goes down to the audience and hugs her friends. Epiphany joins them on stage. Where’s Obrecht? I need some comic relief here. I also think they could fill the room better. It doesn’t look like a whole lot of people are at the ball. It’s a junior high dance level crowd.

As they sing, we see Lucas, wearing a breathing tube, surrounded by Bobbie, Griff and Brad. Brad tells him to wake up. Finn enters the room. Griff says Lucas is hanging on and it seems like there’s an injection site on his neck. He asks Finn if he injected him with anything.

Jason walks into Windemere looking for Nicholas. He wants to talk.

Lucy plugs Aveeno and thanks everyone. Felix comes out to give her roses. She says it’s a new beginning – no one saw her panties. What?! Do we still have a minute?

Carly and Sonny get romantic.

Anna tells Robin it’s the first time she actually saw her speech. Michael tells Sabrrrina she brought the house down, after which Jordan arrests her.

Finn is like, how dare you? but Griff says he had to ask. Brad brings up the unexplained deaths at GH. Bobbie wonders if there’s a connection and Griff says it’s worth investigating.

Curtis makes Hayden promise she won’t go to Windemere before talking to the police. Sam enters Windemere. She hears a crash. Nicholas lies on the rocks below the window.

Tomorrow, Tracy hears about Sabrrrina, Carly tells Sonny about the video, and Nicholas lies unconscious or dead.

General Hospital – Friday

Tracy tells Baby Edward that she didn’t miss not going to the Nurses Ball. She shows him the pictures of Edward and Lila, and I tell her not to get me crying in the first second of the show. Dillon walks in and tells her she looks happy.

Michael tells Jordan it would be a mistake to arrest Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina tells him not to fight for her; she deserves to be arrested. He says she was a victim of Carrrlos too. Jordan says sorry, she helped Carrrlos out. Michael begs Jordan to let Sabrrrina see her son first.

Anna introduces Robin to Andre. Paul pulls Anna aside. He gives her something in an envelope. The charges against her are officially dropped. Andre and Robin chat. He excuses himself to find Jordan. Anna thanks Paul, but tells him there will never be anything between them. Ava grabs Paul. Robin asks Anna if she heard right, that Anna tried to kill Carrrlos.

Carly tells Sonny about getting Ava to back off. She tells him about the subverted furniture delivery and goes on to explain about the flash drive. Except she lies like a rug, saying she tore the place apart. She did not. She found it on the first shot.

Hayden tells Curtis he was correct in telling her to stay away from Windemere. She’s going to stay at the hotel.

Sam walks into Windemere, and sees Jason by a broken window. She asks where Nicholas is, and he tells her “down there,” where Nicholas lies unconscious (or dead?) on the rocks. Jason says he doesn’t know what happened and to call 911.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s on her side and she deserves some happiness. He says he hopes she isn’t going to be disappointed when she has to give up the baby. Tracy says she has an army of lawyers and no one is taking this poor orphaned child away from her. Dillon tells her that Michael found Sabrrrina.

Curtis says as soon as he turns his back, Hayden is going to be looking for the diamonds. She swears she’s not going back tonight. Curtis says that’s not true and he’ll go with her. Hayden says he’ll ruin any chances of her striking a deal with Nicholas. He says tonight, he’s her shadow.

Jason gets into the water to get to Nicholas. Sam picks up a cuff-link among the rocks, no doubt belonging to Nicholas.

Anna tells Robin the Carrrlos story. She says all her training and principles went out the window, and she shot him, but it was a set-up. Robin asks why she didn’t say something sooner. Anna says it was her mess and she wanted to clean it up herself. Robin tells her there’s such a thing as being too independent and she’s punished herself enough. It’s time to start healing.

Carly and Sonny gloat. Carly talks about losing her iPhone, but this gets me thinking that if Ava kept it, she might be able to delete that video from the cloud.

Ava tells Paul she’s not giving in to Carly’s demands because of him. He says what good is getting Avery back if she goes to prison. He says if the video gets out, he’ll make sure her confession goes public. Apparently, Ava wasn’t smart enough to get that phone, but even so, if Paul outs her for Connie’s murder, isn’t he going to implicate himself in some way? I tell myself not to think too hard here.

Anna tells Robin that Julian got off and there’s never any punishment for him. She says one way or another, she’ll get him to trial, even if it’s for murdering Carrrlos. Robin says nothing will bring Duke back, but Anna says maybe the closure will give her peace. Robin says peace doesn’t come from revenge, but living the best life you can. I refrain from making any jokes about her living in Berkeley.

Andre asks Jordan for a minute, but she asks if it can wait. He says he wants to spend the end of the night with her and she says ditto. Jordan asks Sabrrrina about the baby. Sabrrrina says she was just hoping for one night with the baby and she was going to turn herself in.

Dillon gives Tracy a note that Sabrrrina left earlier that night. It says she’s coming back later.

Jason can’t get to Nicholas. Sam says the police are coming. Hayden and Curtis arrive and see the mess. Hayden looks out the broken window, but doesn’t see anything. Sam and Jason come back to the house. Sam explains what they found and that they think the current took Nicholas away. Sam gives Hayden the cuff-link.

Sam and Jason go to wait for the police. Hayden sniffles over the cuff-link and Curtis asks if the tears are real. She says she did love him, but she needs to look for those diamonds before the cops get there. Ha-ha!

Carly tells Sonny the Avery battle is over and she’s thrilled. She says Avery is always going to be safe and happy. In Port Charles? She’s got to be kidding.

Ava tells Paul there will be an investigation and no doubt he has more secrets that will cause a worse scandal that them in bed together. She says his best bet is to ride it out.

Tracy tells Dillon that Sabrrrina won’t be coming back tonight. She says that it’s a safe bet she’s already in custody since Jordan attended the Nurses Ball.

Jordan says Sabrrrina is a flight risk and she can’t allow it. Michael says he’ll take full responsibility, but Jordan doesn’t want to take the chance. Michael says he knows Jordan was away from TJ for a long time, and he plays the mom card.

Robin says it would have been easy for her to lose hope when she was being held captive, but because of Anna, she didn’t. She tells Anna she’ll get past the anger, hurt and need to be vengeful. She needs to say good-by to all of that and to Duke. Anna tells Robin about the vision she had when she was stuck in the meat locker. She says he vanished before she could say good-by, and Robin says that’s probably because she wasn’t ready to.

Robin leaves, and tango music begins. Duke asks for the pleasure of this dance, but Anna says she has to say good-by. He says he’s glad to hear that and he loves her. He asks for one last dance and she says she’d love to.

Ava says she’ll take Paul down with her. He says he has an impeccable record of beating the odds. He tells her that he has the leverage he needs to keep her in line. He says if she lets the video go public, she’ll wish she had stayed dead.

Sam wonders if the police will think Jason had something to do with it, especially since they had that fistfight not that long ago. He wants to call Diane, but Sam says if he does that right now, he’ll look guilty. Can’t please her. Hayden walks in and Sam stupidly asks her if she and Nicholas had a fight. Hayden tells her not to be ridiculous and accuses Jason of pushing Nicholas out the window.

Sabrrrina and Michael arrive at the Quartermaines. Tracy tells her not to touch the baby.

Jordan tells Andre she’s officially done with work. Not quite. Her phone rings. It’s Curtis. She answers and says she’s on her way.

Anna starts to say what she wishes, but Duke stops her and says to save her wishes for someone else. He tells her to move on with her new life and bids her good-by. She tangos away from him and he’s gone. Anna stands alone on an empty stage. Robin asks if she’s ready to go and she says yes. Nice scene.

Paul texts Ava. She better hang on to that text, since it’s basically blackmail.

Carly tells Sonny she’s going to take a bath and will meet him in bed. The doorbell rings. It’s Ava. she says she’s there for Avery.

On Monday. Sonny tells Ava to get out, Hayden tells the police that Nicholas was pushed, and Tracy tells Sabrrrina that she’s the baby’s legal guardian.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

I feel vindicated, since the Couches had the same reaction I did about the Whitney/Kathryn thing on Southern Charm. It’s obvious by the look on Whitney’s face alone that Craig hit a nerve and hit on the truth.

This is better than a Real Housewives reunion. Scott, referring to the argument between Craig and Whitney on Southern Charm.

God help her if she ever goes to your house. Brandy to Julie, referring to Patricia’s reaction to Whitney’s loft on Southern Charm.

You know she slept with that guy on The Bachelor. She didn’t get to the final holding his hand. Teddi, referring to The Bachelorette.

There’s always somebody who looks like Weird Al Yankovic. Blake, referring to the singing competition, Eurovision.

Everything he sees is the worst thing he’s ever seen. Emerson, referring to Gordon Ramsey on Motel Hell. Truth!

This was the season finale <sob!>. Hope they keep the same Couches next time around.

May 25, 2016 – Nurses Ball Two & Three Times the NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

So cute! Emma and Ned..er…Eddie Maine start off with Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart. Did they practice over the phone? Lucy gives a speech about the Quartermaines and Scorpios, and how they give their time, talent, and treasure for good. She claims there will be no stage crashing tonight and that problem is solved.

Epiphany finds Obrecht tied up and gagged in a bathroom stall. “Untie me at once…please?” Obrecht says. Hahahaha! Epiphany asks what she’s wearing and Obrecht says it’s a costume. Epiphany tells her she’s not performing this year, but I think that’s up for debate now.

Carly says Ava’s ass is hers.

Laura runs into Doc.She doesn’t have a ticket, but Doc has two. Amazing! She wonders if they missed much and he says whatever’s happened already will most likely not be as crazy as what’s ahead. Undoubtedly.

Lucy plugs Aveeno, who is their sponsor this year, an tells everyone to mingle in between acts, which is totally weird.

Hayden wants to talk to Jordan who tells her to make an appointment. Nicholas whisks her away.

Lucas finds Bobbie passed out backstage. She comes to and he wants to take her to the hospital, but she refuses. He refuses to take her refusal and says, let’s go.

Carly catches Ava in the bathroom. She says Ava is going to give up sole custody of Avery. Ava tells her she’s drunk or delusional. She says she’s going back to the party, and Carly says the party is in her phone. It’s not the confession she wanted, but a video of Paul and Ava in a bondage scene. Although, I’m not sure how this could really be held against Ava, since they’re both single, consenting adults, and it’s not like Avery was in the room. Ava says Carly broke into her home. Carly says she’ll post the video online if Ava doesn’t give her what she wants. Ava tells her to loosen up and leaves. Well, that backfired.

Franco asks Jake how he feels about making his debut. Jake says he has butterflies and Franco tells him to imagine the audience is quacking ducks. Jason isn’t happy about Franco being around Jake. Sam says the more he remembers the more he’ll hate Franco, and Jason says he already does.

Lucy continues to try and talk Griff into being in the show. She asks Epiphany if she’s seen Lucas, but she hasn’t. Lucas grabs Amy and tells her to tell Brad not to worry; he has to take Bobbie to the hospital. Lucy asks Jake to go on early.

Finn sees Obrecht back at the hospital and says he thought she was attending the ball. She says she did too, and I’m surprised she gave up that easy.

Jake goes on and freezes. Elizabeth tells him he can do this. Franco gets on stage and tells him, “Quack,” and they quack back and forth. Franco plays percussion while Jake sings. Franco helps him with the chorus too, and Nina gets verklempt.

Lucas wheels Bobbie into the hospital. Finn tells her she has vertigo. (Me too.) Lucas wants to postpone the wedding, but Bobbie tells him to go.

Carly sends the video to Paul and tells him to make Ava get in line. He grabs Ava and tells her to make it go away. She says a little sex scandal never hurt anyone. He says he could lose his job and he still has the confession. He tells her to do what Carly wants.

It’s Magic Milo and His Magic Wands! Curtis, Griff, Dillon and Felix also participate. For Griff suddenly getting pulled in at the last minute, he knows all the steps. Was he a dancer before he was a priest? I think so, since he can break dance like a pro. I applaud when their butts spell out Nurses Ball.

Ava slaps the phone out of Carly’s hand, but she still has the flash drive. Ava takes her shoes off . She and Carly wrestle. They must have laughed like crazy practicing this scene.

Obrecht asks why Finn was drummed out of his last job. He says he quit. She asks what he’s hiding and he says wouldn’t she like to know.

Nicholas drags Hayden away from Jordan again. Curtis sees it and thinks maybe he should say something. Valerie tells him to go; he can make it up to her later. Curtis finds them out in the hall and tells Nicholas to let Hayden go.

Someone is injecting Bobbie with something in the dark, but Lucas comes back into the room and asks what’s going on.

Jason wants to stop Elizabeth from hanging around Franco. Diane comes in and tells him he’s being sued. She says the money he used to get the ELQ stock came from organized crime. The IRS has frozen ELQ’s assets.

Ava gets the flash drive and flushes it down the toilet. Carly tells her it’s in the cloud and she’s about to lose custody of Avery.

Uh-oh, it’s time for the wedding and Lucas isn’t back yet. And stupid Amy never gave Brad the message. This is going to look like Lucas stood Brad up.

Lucas is unconscious beside Bobbie’s bed.

…to be continued.

Little Women NY

It’s time to clean up the camp, but Jazmin has to get something off her chest. She whips out a video of Katie and Jess having a cigarette. Lila makes mention of Katie taking a long drag. Yeah, that’s because she probably doesn’t have one too often. She also says something about Katie’s belly being tiny and relating that to cigarettes and low birth weight. For the love of all that’s holy, I can’t believe this girl took a video and involved the entire group when she has no idea about anything. If you’re so concerned, how about just taking Katie to the side and asking her about it? I swear, I’d smoke just to spite them. this bunch is nosier than the Housewives.

PJ comes to the city. Jess isn’t thrilled to find him in the apartment when she just wants to unwind after the camping trip. Katie realizes Jess isn’t happy, but says she needs all the help she can get since it’s getting close to baby time. They’re also getting evicted because the landlord found out about Jess’s dog. Nice welcome home.

Dawn is still pissed about the fight she and Lila got into. They meet for tea and Lila apologizes, saying she needs to be mindful that Dawn is a person with feelings. Maybe if Dawn acted like a human more often, she wouldn’t forget. Dawn says she ended up talking with Jazmin at the campsite and thinks they’ve resolved things. She also wants to talk to David, since apparently they have unresolved issues.

The gang is inviting Katie and Jess to Dawn’s place for a barbecue that’s really an intervention. Since Lila has been the object of one herself, she tells everyone several scenarios can happen. They role play. Lila says, as Katie already feels judged, she might not believe it’s coming from a good place. While I realize they are coming from a good place, I’m not down with this for that exact reason. They have picked on this girl mercilessly since day one. They’re probably the reason she’s smoking.

Lila says if it doesn’t seem genuine, and just seems critical, it’s not going to go well. When Jazmin asks what’s the worst hat can happen, Lila says Katie could fire up a cigarette and say f-u, and I laugh. At least she knows what she might be in for. Katie and Jess arrive and Jess tells the gang about how she came home to PJ. I’d be a lot angrier about the dog than him.

Jazmin jumps right in and asks if she’s smoking. Katie says once in a while when she’s stressed, she takes a drag. Katie says her doctor told her not to cut it cold turkey, she weaned herself down, and she’s not a serious smoker anymore. Jazmin says she’s around Jess smoking too. Katie says her mother has lectured her, but it helps with her stress. Lila says she’s an addict and she’s bigger than cigarettes and to not let them control her. It all seems much more dramatic than it should be. Lila tells Katie about her father dying from lung disease. Katie says after the baby is born, she’s going to quit. Dawn chimes in that the baby is inhaling cigarettes now. Jazmin tells Jess she shouldn’t be an enabler. Jess says they shouldn’t attack Katie like that, and they’re not acting in a way that she would feel she could trust them. In her interview, Jess says Jazmin should have just taken them aside. At least she didn’t pull out the video.

Katie says she’s feeling crampy and uncomfortable and decides to leave. Lila asks for her cigarettes, but she doesn’t have any. So how much of a smoker can she be? She actually shows Lila her purse. Lila asks Jess for hers – seriously? – but that’s a no. These idiots just crashed and burned with their own good intentions.

When they get back to the apartment, Katie and Jess tell PJ about the intervention. Katie says the baby has been healthy throughout the pregnancy and she felt judged. Katie says not once did they ask what kind of stress she’s under or how they can help. Good point. In her interview, Jess says she bit her tongue this afternoon, but when she sees them all again, she can’t promise anything.

Jason’s father is a vet and Jess is bringing her dog for a free check-up. Because, free check-up. He asks how Katie is doing and Jess says she wasn’t happy with how things were done and she isn’t happy either. Jason says they were coming from a place of concern, but Jess says it didn’t look that way. Jason intimates that Jess has never said anything to Katie about smoking and Jess says he has no idea what she’s said to Katie and she’s not going to ride her ass.

Pup ChiChi has a cough, so of course Jason has to make a joke about smoking. Jess is like, don’t get too familiar. Jason’s father says ChiChi checks out, so just give it time. Jason says he’s trying to get out of the city a bit and asks if Jess and Katie would like to come pumpkin picking with the group. She’s not committing until she talks to Katie.

David arrives. He’s been working out of town. Jazmin tells him that she and Dawn mended fences, which makes him happy, although he wonders how long it will last. She tells him about the pumpkin picking event. She says she won’t bring up the smoking thing again, but feels like she should have been more aggressive. Geez, I guess it wasn’t enough that they basically drove Katie away.

Jess and Katie find a new apartment. Jess says good thing it’s bigger, since they have to fit three adults, a baby and a dog. She says the gang is feeling good about themselves and they left feeling like crap. She thinks Jason and Jazmin were coming from a good place, but not so much the others. She tells PJ and Katie about the pumpkin thing. She says they should go, so it doesn’t look like “they won.” PJ says just go and have a good time, and if they have something to say, they’ll hear what he has to say. Katie says that’s what she’s afraid of. Ha-ha!

It’s pumpkin festival time! Katie introduces PJ to the group. Jazmin is hoping he puts a ring on it, since he followed Katie all the way to NYC. The last time Dawn saw David, they had a huge fight, so she asks if they’re good. David says she puts him in an awkward position when she fights with Jazmin, but she feels she and Jazmin are in a good place now. She still has some issues with David, and invites him to have family time.

Katie picks up a small pumpkin, and several of the others immediately get on her case. They also think PJ should have stopped her. They do some kind of weird panning for gold thing and Lila asks if PJ might find an engagement ring. The others wonder why Katie looks stressed. Really? Lila wonders if PJ is causing her stress. No, it’s you. She and Dawn want answers. Who the blip do they think they are> Scotland Yard? OMG – Lila asks PJ what makes a eight month pregnant woman leave her baby’s father? How freaking nosy can you get?

Lila says PJ is all talk and no substance. I fail to see how she could deduce that after meeting him for five minutes. Jess asks the group if they feel that they handled the intervention correctly. She grills Jazmin as to whether she asked Katie personally about it first. Of course not. Jess thinks it wasn’t necessary to go to such an extreme. She and Jazmin argue. The whole thing makes Katie want a cigarette. Dawn says she’s sorry they put her on the spot, but they wanted to make sure Katie knew the score. Then they get on PJ’s case for letting Katie pick up the pumpkin. Jess asks why they think their opinion matters. Dawn says they’re arguing whether or not a pregnant woman should smoke, so I guess she’s in a different argument. PJ thinks if atie has half a cigarette, she’s doing well, and that pisses Dawn off more.

Katie goes to sit down and Jess talks to her. The group tries to get in on that, and Jess tells them to go away. Katie is cramping because she’s stressed out. Jason wanted to have a nice day out, but obviously, that’s not happening.

Two minutes from now, strip club time, Dawn and David argue, and Katie has a baby shower.

Little Women NY

I have no clue why they’re having back-to-back episodes tonight and destroying my TV viewing time frame.

PJ and Katie are doing a pregnancy photo shoot. During a break, Jess talks to Katie about a baby shower guest list. Katie is okay with everyone except Lila. Jess agrees that she’s a mean girl, but is also a little person with insecurity issues. Jess is adamant about not wanting her there.

Dawn visits Katie who wonders why she’s there. ChiChi makes a weewee, and Dawn acts like it’s unheard of. Dawn apologizes for the pumpkin patch debacle. Katie says she’s stressed about not being prepared for the baby and Dawn thinks that should be the father’s department. He just got there, for goodness’ sake. Katie invites her to the shower, although I don’t know why. I’d leave that one off the list too.

Jess meets Jazmin and Jason for lunch to plan the shower. Jess says she has no hard feelings, but isn’t feeling it with Dawn and Lila. Black and pink are the colors and butterflies are wanted. She tells them Lila is a no as a guest. Jazmin thinks that’s a bad idea. Too bad. Jess says it’s Katie’s day and that’s what she wants.

Dawn and Lila go shopping. Dawn talks to Lila about Katie. She says Katie’s house is filthy. What? They just moved in and it actually looked pretty together to me. Dawn talks about the shower and says she got an invite. Lila says she wants to be there for Katie, and says she wants to come along. Even though she’s not invited. Again, what is with these people? News flash, don’t ever show up to a party you’re not invited to. It’s that simple. And how dare she stress this poor pregnant woman even more?

Commercial break. Ha-ha! It’s for Nicorette. And then Haagan-Daas. Which you’ll want in place of that cigarette.

Katie has gone to her check-up. She’s been given the option to have the baby in five days or two weeks. She wants to hold out as long as possible and PJ says to let the doctor do his job. She wants to be able to bring the baby straight home, but they weren’t able to get an ultrasound and she doesn’t know the baby’s weight.

David goes to Dawn’s place. They have snacks and make small talk. She says she misses him. He says ditto, but it’s not like they spend so much time together that they’re close. Dawn says part of her holds resentment that their mother was battling cancer for two years and she was by herself dealing with it. She whines that she’s always alone and David asks if she’s ever considered why that is.

He asks where she was when he got thrown out and was living on the street. She says that was their mother’s decision and he says he’d lost a job and was homeless for five years. She acts like an asshat and he says he’s done, have a nice life, and leaves.

Dawn calls Lila to come over. She tells Lila what happened. I guess it was okay for her to criticize him, but he wasn’t allowed to do the same. Lila tries to explain that David was abandoned. She wants Dawn to understand where he’s coming from. Dawn sobs that this is what she gets for showing vulnerability. Lila says she often has trouble seeing someone else’s viewpoint. Ya think? Dawn says he should be understanding of her. She says she feels isolated and Lila says she has to move forward, and that family is everything. Dawn says if family is everything, why did David walk out? Lila has no answer.

Jazmin asks David what happened. David tells her about Dawn saying he wasn’t there when their mother was going through treatment. Jazmin says Dawn plays the pity card a lot, but won’t own up to her own stuff. He says he’s finally at peace with both his parents passing, but Dawn still has issues. IMO, she’s a walking issue. The poster child for issues.

Jess and Jazmin take Jason to a gay bar. Jazmin says he barely goes out since he started dating DJ. Jason asks why he’s there and Jazmin says to have fun. In his interview, he says he’s not married, but not single either, and isn’t sure how to deal with that. It’s not exactly a strip club, but there are guys in underwear running about and dancing with the patrons. They do more shots than my entire neighborhood bar on karaoke night. Someone sends a lemon drop over to Jason. He says he’s never had a stranger buy him a drink before. The guy slips Jason his number.

Jason wakes up with a puppy in his face and a hangover, hoping he didn’t embarrass himself. Jazmin shows him the number he garnered. He wonders if he should tell DJ, since their relationship is already strained with DJ living in another state. Jazmin thinks she should tell him. I’m on the fence. It’s not like he called the number and he didn’t ask for the number either. On the other hand, these girls have big mouths.

Katie’s mom, Kathie, comes to help. Katie starts to cry and says she just wants the baby to be healthy and doesn’t want her to come out too early. Without knowing the baby’s weight, they don’t know when is the best time to deliver. Kathie says Katie’s father would be proud and he’s looking down at her from heaven. She thinks everything will be fine. Yeah, I think Katie is just hormonal. And stressed from the twits she’s been hanging around with.

DJ comes to see Jason. Jason says they’ve always been honest with each other, but he feels guilty about something. He tells DJ about going dancing with the girls at the bar. He says he got a number, and to him it was innocent, but he doesn’t want DJ to find out some other way and be hurt. DJ asks why he went with the girls and not him. Jason says DJ doesn’t really like dancing and he doesn’t want to pressure him. DJ thanks him for being honest, but says he still wishes Jason had asked him to come.

It’s baby shower time! Katie’s doctor is finally back and wants her to come in for an ultrasound, so she’s going to be late to her own party. Jason and Jazmin get there early to help with the decorations. It’s like an explosion of pink. Even ChiChi is wearing a pink butterfly outfit. Jess tells them that it’s possible Katie might have to deliver today, but the shower is on unless she hears otherwise. Jazmin wants to know if PJ is stepping up to the plate, but Jess hasn’t seen him doing much to help. Jazmin asks if he wants the baby, and Jess says she thinks it’s just sinking in.

Guests start to arrive and Jess hopes she gets news soon, since she doesn’t know how long she can entertain everyone. Dawn and Lila arrive, with Lila announcing she’s there for the party and everyone loves a baby shower. I dunno about that. A shower is one of those things that’s great…if it’s yours.

You can hear a pin drop. Jess says who shows up for a party they’re not invited to. Jess asks Lila if she spoke to Katie unbeknownst to her. Lila says Dawn told her about it and she wanted to give the baby a gift. Dawn concurs that she invited her. Jess says it’s not Dawn’s party, it’s Katie’s, and Katie didn’t want Lila there. There’s a bit of an argument and Dawn acts high and mighty in her interview. Like it’s all about the baby. Even the baby wouldn’t want them there. Jason brings up when Lila kicked Terra out of their party, which is exactly what I was thinking about. In her interview, Jazmin says they shouldn’t be arguing in front of everyone, which I agree with. Jess finally takes Lila in another room. Lila says if Katie starts cramping, she’ll leave, and Jess says oh yeah, let it get to that point. I’m pretty stunned. Lila won’t even let Jess talk. Lila tells her to keep the Jameson to a minimum when the baby comes. Jess says not everyone is a drunk like Lila. Lila finally leaves with Jess shouting she doesn’t know how many times she has to tell Lila that Katie doesn’t want her there.

Next time, Jason brings up Terra again to Lila, Lila argues with Jason, Katie argues with Dawn, and Lila and might go into labor.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Jules are shopping. Dorinda has Bethenny in a gift exchange. Ramona is going to be there (Jules has her), and she and Dorinda didn’t exactly leave things on a good note. Jules hates confrontation and stayed out of the way. Dorinda says Ramona needs to grow up and be respectful. She says she’ll be cordial, but she’s done with the apologies. Her mother said have people who warm you, but don’t burn you. Actually I paraphrased, but I think mine is better.

Bethenny is having a holiday cavier party. I cry because I’d love to go to something like that. Carole and Jules are there, along with some other friends of Bethenny’s. Ramona comes waltzing in and wants a margarita, after which she has an unbelievable story.

The Countess is out with Sonja. Sonja says they rarely see each other because The Countess is always out. The talk about that weird guy from the party. OMG, TMI. The Countess says she went out with him a couple of times, but realized something was “off” with him and she’s too old to deal with hot messes. She says he was pissed and that’s why he was aggressive at the party.

Ramona tells the girls about the same weird guy. She acts like nothing was wrong and John just came over to kick him out. She also pretends that John just put his hand in her face for no reason out of the blue. Not that I think he should have done that, but she had a hand in it too, no pun intended. Well, maybe a little. She says Dorinda was freaking out, but suddenly, Jules says she has a different story. Jules says she’s leaving out the part about the guy causing The Countess to be uncomfortable and how weird and drunk he was.

The Countess tells Sonja that Dorinda told her she’s done with Ramona. She says there isn’t one cute guy at the bar, and Sonja says they’ll look better after another drink. Geez.

Dorinda comes to the party. Bethenny meets her at the door and tells her that Ramona is sorry. Dorinda says she’s feeling overwhelmed and trying to pretend everything is good. Bethenny tells her that she should spend some quiet time alone for herself.

Ramona shovels in the caviar. Dorinda enters the party, ignoring Ramona. Ramona tries to engage her. In her interview, Ramona says she’s going to pretend everything is fine. Everyone eats caviar on tiny pancakes. Dorinda invites the girls to the Berkshires where she wants to have a holiday party. She’s not inviting Sonja because she thinks her drinking will lead to drama.

Carole talks to Dorinda on the side. Carole thinks it’s sad that Dorinda and Ramona’s friendship has been disrupted by a guy. Dorinda talks to Ramona, who says she’s not going anywhere, but Dorinda says it’s a one-sided deal now. They open their gifts, a lot of which are funny.

Sonja wonders who The Countess’s mystery man is. The Countess says Dorinda introduced them and he’s special, so she’s keeping him under wraps. She says in her interview that his name is Tom and I guess this is the guy she’s engaged to now. The Countess sees that there’s an article about the weird guy and Ramona at the party in The Post. It says Ramona was thrown out of the party. The Countess thinks Ramona had some nerve talking about her being a bad influence. More TMI with these two. It’s a constant.

Dorinda meets with Sonja, who has a fanny pack that look like a pair of lips. I wish I would have had that in my Rocky Horror days. They hang out on a park bench. I assume Central Park. Sonja says she wanted to talk to Dorinda about Ramona, who she thinks is going psycho. She’s been telling Sonja that no one wants to invite her out because of her drinking when Ramona can kick it back.

First, Dorinda tells Sonja she’s coming from a good place, so you know it’s going to be bad news. She talks about doing the Berkshires thing and she says she doesn’t want to do it now. She says she doesn’t think Sonja needs to be around the ladies right now, so she’s having them up for dinner, but having Sonja separately. She says she’d rather do one-on-one with her. In her interview, Sonja seems to think it has something to do with Bethenny.

The Countess and Tom have dinner with Dorinda, John, Jules and Michael. She thought they would be supportive, while she wasn’t so sure about the others. They talk about Ramona and Tom looks scared. Oh, wait, he actually knows Ramona. The Countess says Ramona went out with him, but nothing romantic went on, which I guess means they didn’t sleep together. He says he’s known Dorinda for years, and when he was on the phone with her, she suddenly handed the phone to The Countess. John makes an inappropriate comment. Everyone ignores it since they’re used to this. He says they’ve been inseparable since their first date. The Countess says she’s protecting their relationship because the girls can be catty. They have a toast.

They show NYC at Christmastime, which is my favorite time of year there. It’s out to the Berkshires though. Ramona gets there first, along with her dog. Dorinda tells Ramona it’s her sanctuary, where she likes to go for the silence she doesn’t get in the city. They talk about Sonja and how The Countess is never at home. Dorinda alludes to who The Countess’s man is, and in her interview, Ramona says she dated him.

Ramona thinks it’s rude that The Countess hasn’t told her about Tom, since for all she knows, Ramona could still be involved. Hardly. It would probably be in The Post. Yikes. Ramona’s dog made poopy all over Dorinda’s carpet. Dorinda tells her own dog to crap all over Ramona’s place in the Hamptons. Ha-ha!

Everyone else arrives. The Countess thinks there will be drama. In her interview, she says she and Carole are “uncool.” Jules says she plays piano and The Countess threatens to sing. Jules’s father is in the hospital with pneumonia. Since the nanny quit last week, things haven’t been peachy. The Countess tells Dorinda that Sonja feels excluded. Dorinda doesn’t think it would be a good combo with Bethenny being there and Sonja drinking. Ramona thinks Sonja should work on herself.

Bethenny arrives. The Countess says Bethenny is copying her hairstyle. Maybe. The Countess says she’s staying with Sonja when she’s not staying with her new guy. Bethenny asks if it’s Ramona’s ex and The Countess is cagey. The Countess says she thinks Sonja needs her right now she’s trying to mentor Sonja, which Bethenny says it’s like the blind leading the deaf [sic] and she finds it hysterically funny. The Countess says Sonja and Bethenny have issues about the Tipsy Girl thing and it was in The Post. Bethenny says she doesn’t care so much about the name, but pick one and go with it – either you’re smart or you’re stupid. She says Sonja used her for free publicity. The Countess says the newspaper claimed Bethenny was suing Sonja, but Bethenny says that’s not true.

Bethenny says a lot of people have copied her and she was the first one to come up with the name. The Countess says that she actually thought it up. Bethenny says she must be right, since that’s what she goes around telling everyone.

Next time, Bethenny and The Countess argue, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Dorinda tells everyone to go home.

May 23, 2016 – GH & the Not So Charming South

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Like a good stage manager should, Felix yells at everyone to focus and get everything ready. Brad and Lucas talk about how everything is always a mess before the Nurses Ball, but somehow it comes together at the last minute. Just as Lucas says nothing bad is going to happen, something falls with a loud crash.

Hayden tells Curtis that being broke is no picnic. It isn’t for Nicholas either, who’s calling the bank to make his deposit liquid immediately and staring at the shiny big diamond he’s going to sell. He trips over something of Spencer’s and the diamonds go everywhere. Elizabeth comes in and he asks her not to tell anyone.

Obrecht tells Finn she’s been doing research on him. She says his former employer has some strange privacy protocols. He asks what she’s looking for. She says she wants to make sure the trail of corpses didn’t start at a previous job. He says she’s crazy and she says her only concern is the patients.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous necklace, like that’s going to make her forget he’s a murderer. She says he’s trying to buy her silence. He asks if every gesture he makes is going to be picked apart now. Yeah, probably.

Sonny and Michael are on the plane and Michael says he’s going to follow Sonny’s lead. Sonny says the line between business and family has been blurred, but this is the first and last time.

Sabrrrina begs for her life. Marcos says he was crazy to let Carrrlos talk him into hiding her. He says practically the whole world is looking for her, including Sonny. She suggests he turn her over to Sonny. She says she used to date Michael and Marcos says Michael has already been looking for her. She tells him he’ll just make it worse if he kills her. Marcos says he has to cover his tracks so there’s nothing to connect them. Just as he’s about to shoot, Michael comes storming in with Sonny right behind. Michael knocks Marcos down and gets the gun away. Well, Marcos just made a mess for himself.

Elizabeth asks where the diamonds came from. Nicholas tells her it’s a recent acquisition, and even though she’s usually a dimbulb, Elizabeth figures it out right away. She says if he turns them over to the Feds, Hayden will be gone forever. He says too late, he’s already sold one.

Hayden says she hates being poor more than she hates being wronged. She tells Curtis she has something going on the side that might change things. She says she’ll catch up to him later and maybe he’ll change his mind about stealing the diamonds back.

Valerie tries to talk Bobbie into being in her act, but Bobbie says she’s already doing something and she’s not feeling that great. Lucas asks if she’s sick and she says she wouldn’t miss the Nurses Ball; it’s her favorite night of the year. Since they made a point of her not feeling well, I assume this is going to factor in later. Brad and Lucas look like cats who ate canaries and Lucas says this might be her favorite one ever.

Hayden asks to talk to Finn. He says no. She gives him a check for ten grand and says it doesn’t begin to cover his loss, but it’s a start. He says money can’t bring the people back who died because of her father’s greed. I’m kind of surprised he’s being so unreasonable.

Sonny tells Michael to take Sabrrrina back to the plane. Marcos starts to babble and Sonny tells him to shut up. He says if Marcos wants to save his own life, he’ll tell him about Julian Jerome. Ha-ha! Big baby Marcos isn’t so tough anymore.

Julian asks if Alexis is going to second guess everything now, but she says she loves him and she just needs to process things. He says blah-blah-blah their future is entirely in their own hands. He gets a call from Lucas who wants to ask him something in person and asks Julian to meet him at the hospital. Julian asks Alexis if she wants to come, but she says she has a lot of work and a manicure appointment. And she’s washing her hair. I made that last one up. Julian leaves and Alexis breaks out the bloody shirt. She makes a call, asking someone to come over immediately.

Curtis tells Valerie her rehearsal looked good. She says what about his act, and he says it’s top secret.

Bobbie tells Brad she’s happy he’s joining the family. Felix overhears her talking about them getting married at the Nurses Ball. There goes that secret.

Nathan asks Julian to be his best man. Julian says he’ll have to find someone else. He says nothing would make him happier, but he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight since he’s been in the news recently. Lucas says they don’t care, but Julian says he wants something better for them.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth the diamonds are leverage against Hayden and also collateral. He says they can help him maintain his lifestyle until he gets it together. He says because of the diamonds, he was able to contribute to the Nurses Ball. Elizabeth says Lucy would have understood, but she’ll keep his secret.

Sonny grills big baby Marcos about Julian. He says Carrrlos kept him in the dark for the most part. Sonny is like, oh, so you got involved by accident? Marcos says he did and he doesn’t want any trouble with Sonny. Sonny says that’s too bad because now he has no use for Marcos. Marcos swears he didn’t know anything; he was just doing a favor for Carrrlos. Sonny tells him it’s going to be a costly favor.

Diane comes to Alexis’s house. Alexis wants Diane to be her attorney. I love Diane and can’t wait to see how this plays out. Diane asks if something has made her question Julian and Alexis says possibly. Diane asks if it has to do with Carrrlos, and tells her that she doesn’t have to worry about testifying against her husband. Alexis says it’s not Julian she’s worried about; it’s herself.

Sabrrrina thanks Michael and asks why he came after she lied to him and ditched him. She explains how Carrrlos talked her into going with him, but she realized immediately that it was a bad choice. Michael says she should have come to him. She says she picked up the phone a bunch of times, but she was with the man who shot his father and she was afraid. Michael tells her Carrrlos is dead and she says she knew already, and God help her, she was relieved. Michael says he’s the one who found him, but Carrrlos wouldn’t tell her where she was and then died at the hospital.

Nicholas tells Lucy he’ll be at the Nurses Ball with his wife. Hayden comes in and asks where he got money for the donation. He says he re-positioned some of his assets. She says he doesn’t have any and realizes he sold some of her diamonds.

Hayden wrestles Nicholas for the diamonds. They end up in a compromising position and almost kiss. He tells her that she has to play the doting wife at the Nurses Ball. She asks what she’s supposed to wear and he gives her a diamond, saying hock this. She says they both have leverage on the other, but he has more to lose than she does.

Sonny tells Marcos he’s not going to shoot him…today. A cop enters and Sonny says he makes a point of cooperating with law enforcement. He says Marcos’s associates are going to testify against him. Marcos calls him a bastard, but Sonny says don’t blame him, blame Carrrlos.

Curtis suggests he and Valerie do a number together. He says he can just stand there and she can make him look good.

Brad asks Felix to be his best man. Felix says yes, and Lucas says Brad is doing better than him. Lucas calls Sam and she agrees to be his best person.

Diane tells Alexis that if she has evidence, she should come out with it now before the police find it independently. She asks if Julian has been threatening her. She shows Diane the necklace and says she loves Julian, but can barely look at him. Diane says he should know better than to buy her silence. Alexis says she’s not necessarily afraid of him, just afraid. Diane promises to be at her side every step of the way and asks if she thinks she can turn him in. Alexis says she has to be able to sleep at night. Julian walks in. He has the best timing of any character on the show.

Elizabeth tries to talk to Finn and he blows her off, then goes back to apologize. He says Roxie is almost as misunderstood as he is, but she would even be embarrassed at his behavior. He leaves and Obrecht tells Elizabeth to stay away from him and that he’s not who he seems to be. She doesn’t know in what way, but she’s going to find out.

Sonny gets back to the plane and tells Michael about Marcos. He says Marcos was too scared to lie and he has to find another way to get Julian.

Diane tells Julian she’s there to steal Alexis away. Alexis says they’re going for a manicure together for the Nurses Ball. Julian says Lucas wanted him to be his best man, but he said no because of the publicity. Diane tells Alexis they have to move or they’ll be late. Outside, Alexis says that she doesn’t want Julian arrested before the wedding, so they’re really going for a manicure. Julian peeks out in between the blinds.

Tomorrow, the Nurses Ball! Carly tells us that this year it’s going to be better than ever. I always wonder how Lucy will lose her clothes. I love tradition on this show. Like the Quartermaines having pizza every Thanksgiving.

Southern Charm

Who knew Craig was going to be the one to get a clue? He tells Whitney he’s just mad that Kathryn hooked up with his best friend after being with him. He says it’s the only logical explanation for the hate. Cameran isn’t believing it, but he says give him a better explanation then. He says they can’t come up with a reason for hating Kathryn so much. Whitney is aghast that Craig is believing Kathryn over him. Craig says Whitney keeps saying Kathryn offended him, so how? Whitney just keeps calling her a lying psychopath.

Craig reminds Whitney about him calling Craig out at his parents’ for being a lazy bum. Craig doesn’t believe you can be so passionate about hating someone unless it was personal. In his interview, Shep says if he was a shrink, he’d be wondering about Whitney’s passionate protests and brings up the Shakespeare quote about protesting too much. Whitney claims it was a one-night stand and starts getting stupid. Shep finally tells everyone to shut up. Whitney calls Craig names and leaves the deck. In his interview, Craig says Whitney’s being a bully has come back to haunt him.

Cameran tells Craig he should be ashamed and he says he had to get it off his chest. Cameran says Whitney has never been hurt over a girl, and wonders if Craig is just creating drama. Shep says he’s sick of blubbering idiots and goes to get champagne. Dani says it’s not okay to sit around and say how crazy Kathryn is and if they’re going to say something about Kathryn, Thomas should be discussed too, because it takes two. JD says their relationship has affected everyone. Cameran says it’s sick and pathetic to watch.

Craig tells Shep this has been a huge source of animosity among the friends, but Shep says he’s annoyed this all came about at his house. He says it isn’t the time or place for Craig’s theories. Cameran tells Craig he should apologize to Whitney. For what? Cameran calls baby Whitney back in and Craig says he’s sorry he upset Whitney, but he thinks there was more going on between him and Kathryn. Why is this such an outlandish idea? Cameran tells him to care about things that matter , you know, because another human being doesn’t. I don’t get this irrational hate either and figure Craig is right.

Naomie tells Craig he was rude and he ruined everyone’s night. Craig says he’s sorry, but in his interview, he says if you don’t stand up for people, you’re a coward and he believes this is the truth.Whitney gets absolutely insane about someone he claims to care nothing about? Really? And we saw that she was keeping her clothing at his house, so wtf? I liked Whitney at the beginning, but he’s turned out to be one big d-bag. I liked his mother too, but ditto. You’re not all that anymore, honey. If you ever were.

Whitney says he woke up angry. Oh man, he is totally lying about that one-night stand. Otherwise, he would just laugh it off. He says Craig is just harboring resentment about how Whitney behaved at Craig’s parents’, which at least he admits wasn’t quite the right approach. Cameran and Whitney leave. Bye, Felicias!

Thomas calls Kathryn. She tells him her induction date has been moved up. Her blood pressure has been like a roller coaster, so the doctor wants to get the baby born.

At breakfast, Landon tells Shep she had fun except for the Craig thing. Shep says he doesn’t get hangovers from drinking, but he does from stupid stuff. Dani has left too, but because of work. Craig says Whitney can dish it out, but he can’t take it, and ran away like the guilty party he is.

Patricia goes to visit Whitney, who is playing guitar badly. It’s Whitney’s third loft in three years and Patricia says they’ve all looked like Isis prison camps. She asks about the trip. Wait for it….

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Patricia lets it go, since Southern WASPs don’t talk about their feelings. She asks him to bring his girlfriend, Larissa, around some time. Whitney talks about a guy’s trip to LA, but says he only has two bedrooms, so he’s only inviting Thomas and Shep. Patricia says she saw JD at the bank and asked what Craig actually does for him, and JD said Craig is his bitch. These people might be Southern, but not so charming. As a matter-of-fact, they’re pretty rude. Is this what old money does to you?

Thomas can’t get ahold of Kathryn. Nanny Dawn says Kathryn is angry because he’s going to LA with Whitney and if anything happens, he’ll never get back in time. Dawn tells him Kathryn left, but she doesn’t know where she went. She says Kathryn is overwhelmed and this could have been avoided. Cool that the nanny is on Kathryn’s side.

Craig has invited Cameran to lunch to clear the air. Naomie says she’s never seen Whitney so upset. Craig says they seem to be on a mission to ostracize Kathryn and he’s surprised at Cameran. Naomie was shocked at how crazy everyone got and says she’d rather not hear about it anymore. Craig still believes what he believes, but doesn’t think it’s worth losing friendships over.

Whitney gets to his place in LA to clean up a little before the guys’ weekend. Thomas calls and says he’s not coming because of Kathryn. Whitney doesn’t get it, but says he has to do his fatherly duties and maybe another time. Thomas feels it’s better to keep things peaceful.

Cameran meets Craig for lunch. She’s another one I liked at first, but I think has become unreasonable. She tells him Whitney was really hurt about him taking Kathryn’s side. Craig says in his head it was a question, but it came off as an accusation. Cameran says Whitney doesn’t have the hots for Kathryn, he just doesn’t like her. Even if that’s the case, why can’t he at least be polite? Craig asks if they’re good and Cameran says she’s fine, but he has to make it right with Whitney. I also don’t get why this group is so supportive of Thomas, who is like the biggest idiot on earth and should be hanging out with people his own age. For a moment, I wonder why I’m watching this, since apparently, I can’t stand any of these people.

Thomas has flowers sent to Kathryn, who has a beautiful white dog. Wow. The lady delivers them in a vase with water already in it. No muss, no fuss. The note just says, “I’m very sorry – love, Thomas.” To the point.

Whitney calls Shep and tells him Thomas can’t make it. Shep asks about bringing Craig and tells Whitney he should be the better person and in his interview, says that grudges are for losers. Whitney makes some lowbrow comments, but says he’ll think about it. Anyone who dates this jerk has to be in it for the money. He has zero personality and even less of a sense of humor. He also uses words that make him sound educated, but seem inappropriate.

Craig visits Kathryn, who says she thinks Kensie has a crush on him. Aww! I’ll bet he’s cute with kids. Craig tells her about the fight at Shep’s house and how panicked Whitney got when he brought up that Whitney might have feelings for Kathryn. Craig says he was just trying to mend the friend circle, but thinks there’s no going back. He tells Kathryn she shouldn’t care though. Kathryn says ultimately the truth will come out and she only wants positivity for the new baby.

Larissa comes to LA. Whitney gives her a heart-shaped mylar balloon that says “I love you.” Bleh. He couldn’t do better than that? He’s written her a song. I put in earplugs. Yep, it’s bad.

Shep meets Craig at his bar. Craig asks if he’s talked to Whitney. Shep says it wasn’t a lose friends situation, but it was a dent. He says he’s been working behind the scenes for an invite to LA for Craig. Craig swears he won’t bug Whitney anymore about the Kathryn thing. Shep tells him he put his rep on the line because he cares about him.

Commercial break. Nine Lives looks really funny, and you can’t beat a Kevin Spacey/ Christopher Walken combo. Seriously, what could be any better?

Thomas visits Kathryn. Dawn takes Kelsie to the park. Thomas is putting together a piece of baby furniture. Kathryn tells Thomas her feelings are hurt because Whitney is always trying to put a wedge between them. She thinks that Thomas has made progress in co-parenting and she’s annoyed that Whitney wanted Thomas to go away so close to when she’ll need him. She tells him he should be around people who want him to be a better person and the best father he can be.

Next time, The LA trip, Craig apologizes to Whitney, Landon thinks she has a chance with Shep (please, no), JD can’t find Craig, JD suggests a paternity test to Thomas.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Leeanne and Tiffany meet for lunch, along with Leeanne’s friend, Heidi Dillon. Apparently, I’m supposed to know who she is, but she looks like someone who shouldn’t be wearing what she’s wearing – some kind of outfit Kanye West might show up in. Leeanne says Heidi is her mentor. Tiffany’s husband is doing a charity event at the House of Blues and she invites Heidi.

Heidi is having a dinner party so she can meet the other girls. She’s going to be making a Frito chili pie, whatever that is. It doesn’t look like something that goes with this woman’s lifestyle. Tiffany suggests inviting Stephanie and Brandi. Leeanne says she probably won’t like Brandi, but Heidi says she’ll keep an open mind. I already don’t like Heidi, since she alludes that Cary got her rich husband by doing something nasty under his desk. I don’t know what was up with how they got together, but Cary doesn’t seem like someone who would sleep her way to the top.

Mark and Cary’s practice is going crazy busy after they updated the website. It’s their six-year anniversary. Mark tells Cary she knows what he wants for his present. They kiss through their surgical masks. Bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Well, they would if this was a Disney cartoon.

Brandi talks to her mom, Jana. Her brother, Michael, has PTSD from serving in Afghanistan and she says he’s not sleeping or eating. He tried to take his own life and they’re both worried for him. Brandi visits Stephanie, who took the kids to school before realizing one of them wasn’t wearing shoes. Brandi tells her about Michael. She says she was angry with him for saying things like there’s no God, but she didn’t realize how bad it was. Brandi says she doesn’t know what she’d do without Stephanie. Yeah, especially with that cold fish of a husband she has. Go back to work, Bryan, and stay there. Just send the check.

Leeanne and Tiffany go shopping for House of Blues dresses. Tiffany is a little concerned because it’s the first time all the girls are getting together since Marie’s cocktail party. Leeanne says she wants to apologize to Stephanie, but doesn’t think she owes Brandi an apology. Really? She said some very nasty things about her. Tiffany tells her about Brandi’s brother and Leeanne feels marginally like an ass. Tiffany just wants to put the whole mess behind them.

Cary and Mark have a drink at home after work. She says there are a lot of haters who think Mark just wanted to sleep with her for a while, but they’re best friends. Mark’s personal shopper brings something from Roberto Cavalli for her. No surprise it’s amazing and he says it should be since it cost more than his first car. She gives him a lovey-dovey card and will be giving him a private present. In her interview, Cary says haters gonna hate, but they love each other, the end. Good on ya!

Brandi meets Bryan for lunch. She feels anxious and nervous because she doesn’t know what to expect. She thinks their lack of communication needs to be addressed. They talk about Michael. She says she feels alone and surprise! Bryan apologizes for being a jerk. Brandi says it hurt her feelings when he barely showed up to meet her grandfather. I’m totally shocked and amazed when he apologizes again and says they need to find couple time. She says he rarely apologizes and she’s thrilled. Okay, he’s back on my good side.

Commercial break. Is it wrong for me to be thinking about tomorrow’s breakfast already?

Stephanie meets Leeanne for lunch. It’s so hard to look at Leeanne because all I see is blush. Leeanne apologizes and Stephanie says Leeanne really hurt her feelings. Leeanne says she was coming from a place of pain, but that’s not really her. I hate when people say that. Who was it then? She says she was really hurt as a child and when anyone tries to hurt her, she gets loud. I think Brandi is absolutely right; she needs therapy. She’s too old to be using this as an excuse to be mean. Stephanie thinks the apology is more for Leeanne than her, but she just wants to get past it. Leeanne moves on to talking more about herself and how she’s a motivational speaker. In her interview, Stephanie says Leeanne is the most self-absorbed, narcissistic person she’s ever met and it’s beyond exhausting. Leeanne invites her to whatever conference she’s speaking at.

It’s time for the House of Blues event. The girls arrive and Leeanne introduces Heidi, who is wielding a fan. Cary thinks she should tone it down and I agree. Heidi says she’s having a dinner party and the theme is goth state fair. Okay. Keith Urban Aaron takes the stage. He’s not bad. He dedicates a song to Brandi’s brother and says his life means a great deal and to keep the faith. What a nice guy. Leeanne feels guilty and wants to move beyond the drama. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Leeanne is getting ready for Heidi’s party. She says the only person she’s hesitant to see is Cary, but boyfriend Rich says she’s great and Leeanne is just passing along gossip. She says she’ll work on being a better Christian and a better human. I see we have a long road to travel.

Cary is also getting ready for Heidi’s party. She’s bringing her friend Courtney. They talk about Leeanne and Cary’s makeup artist says something about her blush. Thank you. See? I wasn’t just picking on her.

The guests arrive and some of the outfits are pretty interesting. I think Brandi might have gotten her dress at Spirit Halloween. Cary arrives and says she feels negative energy. She focuses on Ralph the dog, which is exactly what I would do. Heidi complains to Leeanne that Cary didn’t say hello right away, but um, she’s the hostess. Shouldn’t she be making the guest feel welcome? Especially one that doesn’t know her?

Apparently a Frito pie isn’t really a pie. It’s basically a pile of Fritos with chili on it. Tiffany thinks Cary is being a snob because it’s her defense mechanism. Heidi says Cary is going to do a demonstration with a corn dog. What?! She’s a disgusting old crone.

Heidi wonders why people aren’t mingling and Cary says she thinks there’s some tension. For a goth state fair party, this is pretty freakin’ dull. Leeanne says Heidi’s parties are like powwows, but it’s obviously not working. Ooh, Heidi is friends with Mark’s ex-wife. That explains a lot. Yep, I was just going to say I’d leave if I was her and she heard me.

Stephanie says she feels like she’s the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on. Leeanne just stares at Cary as she makes her exit. More Southerners who are not so charming tonight.

Next time, Travis has a birthday, Leeanne makes a speech, and Brandi and Leeanne talk.

May 18, 2016 – GH, Big Apple Little Women & Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I had a late lunch with a friend and missed it. I tried watching it On Demand, but for some reason, the picture and sound kept breaking up. Thanks, Verizon! Finally, I caught it on Hulu, so here are the highlights I grasped while I was doing three other things.

Laura returns to the disco – she and Doc pretend like they’re going to buy it. As if the realtor would still have the disco ball hanging there. And the sparkly crepe paper, which hasn’t aged.

Tracy insists the baby is just some random child who was left there, but Michael asks her what would be the odds of anyone leaving a baby on their doorstep? He has a good point, and that baby looks very Spanish, which narrows the odds even more.

Felix wants Finn to participate in the Nurses Ball. I can’t say enough good things about Michael Easton in this role. He’s been far too serious for far too long on One Life to Live and then GH. He hasn’t had any fun since vamping it up in Port Charles.

Hayden tries to get Nicholas to help her take photos of the stuff she wants to sell online. She says New York is a community property state, so it’s their stuff. I like seeing these two back together again. They have a lot of chemistry, and Hayden brings out a side of Nicholas that Elizabeth certainly doesn’t.

Laura tells Doc about Luke raping her at the disco, and tries to justify it somewhat. Will we never get away from this? To his credit, Doc tells her not to blame herself. GH dug a hole for itself with this one years ago and they keep reopening it. Laura says she has no regrets and nothing Helena can do will change that. Doc says Helena is just playing mind games. Laura says Helena is probably looking up at her – hahahaha! – instead of looking down on her.

Jason visits Sonny and tells him he remembers everything now. We trip down Memory Lane. Jason apologizes for being a jerk, and Sonny says fuggedaboutit. Jason doesn’t exactly want to work for Sonny again, but tells him that he has Sonny’s back when it comes to Julian. Sonny says he’ll only ask if he has to and welcomes Jason home. Awww!

Finn gets into the drug cabinet via a clueless Felix, but we don’t see what, if anything, he takes. Tracy has him come to the Quartermaine mansion to check the baby and he suggests getting blood work done. Hayden pops in and asks for a job, since Nicholas shamed her into using her brain to make money. Tracy tells her to get lost. Tracy also has baby fever and names the baby Edward.

Diane brings the happy news to Nicholas that he owes back business taxes. I’m guessing he might not be responsible since he no longer owns the company, but I’m sure a lawsuit or prison is of concern if he doesn’t pony up. Nicholas acts like it’s a personal affront that Jason brought down on him. Diane suggests he sell some of his stuff on eBay if he can’t scratch up the cash.

The realtor says the disco is owned by Lloyd and Lucy Johnson, psudonyms of Luke and Laura at one time. Doc tells Laura that maybe they should be Lloyd and Lucy Johnson 2.0.

Michael takes the baby to the hospital when Tracy isn’t looking.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC

I have the answer to Sonja’s question, if being Sonja is so wrong, why does it feel so right? Because you’re tipsy, girl. BA-DUM-CHH!

Sonja gets ready for The Countess’s arrival. She shows The Countess to the guest suite, which is pretty impressive. It’s a nice townhouse. The Countess says she thinks Sonja feels more stable with her around. She tells Sonja she wasn’t expecting the unveiling of the wine at Sonja’s birthday party. She asks if Sonja talked to Bethenny about the name of her product being thisclose to SkinnyGirl. Sonja claims that someone else came up with the name. Someone who must never have heard of Bethenny or the liquor line she manufactures.

Bethenny says she’s been dragged into the press with Sonja’s product. Ramona and Carole meet her for dinner. Apparently, Sonja has been saying Bethenny is her mentor and has set up a meeting with her. Bethenny says she saw the rip-off name on Page Six of the Post. She says her partners are seriously annoyed, especially after she brought Sonja into a business meeting to help her. They discuss Sonja’s narcissism, and Carole says this could cost Sonja a friendship.

Commercial break. I love The Real Housewives in Wonderland ads. I’m also wonder(land)ing what that’s about.

Ramona and Dorinda meet for breakfast. Ramona says she can’t quite accept John for Dorinda, but if she wants a relationship with Dorinda, she’s going to have to. Um…that’s right and wtf business is it of yours to accept anyone for anyone? Dorinda asks Ramona what she thinks about Tipsy Girl. Ramona says she’s disenchanted with her friendship with Sonja and doesn’t think tipsy anything is a good idea for her. Dorinda tries some cryptic talk about Ramona’s relationship with Sonja when she’s really talking about the both of them.

Somehow she changes the topic to her and John, and tells Ramona she has to respect that John is a part of her life. She doesn’t want to feel awkward any more. Ramona says she’s trying, but her mouth gets in the way. Dorinda tells her that if she can’t act like a normal adult, to pretend.

Bethenny was out until 4 am on her date. She says it’s someone she’s known for a while and it was a surprise to see potential. She’s at her office and Sonja comes by for the meeting. Sonja is thinking how wonderful it’s going to be to see each other. How can any human being possibly be this clueless?

Sonja tells Bethenny that her personal website has the same colors as Bethenny’s office. Funny you should say that. Bethenny brings up Tipsy Girl. She thinks Sonja’s partner, Peter, is shady. Sonja says he owns the rights to the name Tipsy Girl. Bethenny asks about Sonja’s distributors and Sonja can’t name one of them. This should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Sonja claims she was just testing out the product at her party. Bethenny says a similar brand name is called a cheater brand because it rides on the coattails of another brand. Bethenny says she’s personally hurt since she brought Sonja into her brand summit, and she wants nothing to do with her. She says Sonja never even contacted her until the Page Six article. She says that Sonja is a fraud who only talks a lot. Sonja yaps about her chapter 11 bankruptcy again and starts crying. She should cry. She says wah-wah-wah, she wasn’t going to do anything big, she just wanted something fun she could serve at her parties. Bethenny says she feels badly for her, but she’s tired of Sonja playing stupid and she can’t have it both ways. Sonja says she just wants to get back to where she was. Bethenny says she has compassion, but Sonja says she’s not feeling it. Bethenny says she has to get back to work, wishes her well, and says she’s not going to have any more conversation on the subject. Sonja acts innocent, but makes a snide remark in the elevator, and the interns roll their eyes.

Jules’s nanny has quit. She took her Christmas bonus and never came back, even though she’s been with them for two years. What are we missing? Jules is going to do some interviews. Jules go over responsibilities with the first one. Jules shows her around and asks her to pick out an outfit for one of the girls. It’s a thumbs up for the outfit, but a thumbs down on her Spanish skills, because they want the kids to be fluent. What I didn’t like about this process was that the first thing they did was have Michael check out her Spanish, which sounded pretty good to me, but she said she wasn’t fluent. If this was a make or break issue, why did Jules continue with the interview? Again, I feel like I missed something, but maybe these people just don’t communicate well.

Carole is fostering a kitten named Vinny. Adam is back and putting on his chef’s apron. She says when he was away she “cheated,” eating all kinds of junk food. Carole’s dog, Baby, really loves the kitten, but Carole is refusing to get attached.

She and Adam are working on a cookbook called The Reluctant Vegan – with her being reluctant and Adam being the vegan. This sounds like something I would enjoy. I’d like to be a vegan, but I’m reluctant to give up burgers and sushi. I think if Adam was cooking for me, I’d be a lot less reluctant. Carole says she’s been warned not to mix business with pleasure, but they’re doing it anyway.

The Countess meets Sonja and Ramona at Sushi Roxx. They talk about the Countess’s many dates. She claims to have gone through a dry spell and Ramona says she’d hate to see what a not-so-dry spell is like. Then comes the TMI and I go ♫ la-la-la! ♫

John and Dorinda are at an event to honor one of the designers John does business with. Jules and Michael are also attending.

The Countess asks what happened at Sonja’s meeting with Bethenny. Sonja tells her that she was surprised Bethenny was so critical. The Countess suggests Bethenny needs a boyfriend. The girls move on to John’s event. Dorinda didn’t give Ramona an invite and wonders why she’s there. The Countess sees a former flame who didn’t end well. The guy comes over and acts like a total asshat. The Countess freaks and decides to leave. The dude keeps talking to Sonja and Ramona, and he’ obviously three sheets to the wind. He has no concept of personal space either and John asks him to leave.

Ramona makes a stink and says everything is cool, so John says she can leave too. Asshat is catching and Ramona acts ridiculous. John actually keeps his cool pretty well, but then has enough and puts his hand in Ramona’s face. Ramona leaves with Mr. Personality.

Dorinda says Ramona isn’t even supposed to be there and wonders how she dare make a scene. She goes outside and tells Ramona she needs to respect her when she’s at John’s event. No surprise, Ramona acts like an idiot and Dorinda tells her to get lost. Ramona continues to act stupid and says she doesn’t know what happened and tries to blame John, who for once had very little to do with it. Ramona leaves and Dorinda hails a taxi. John tries to get her to stay. She says his actions are correct, but his reactions negate them, and he didn’t act like a gentleman.

Next time, Ramona’s idiocy makes the Post, another trip to the Bershires is planned, and Dorinda excludes Sonja.

Little Women: NYC

Oh no. I’m seeing the tale end of Briana and Matt: Part Two, and apparently they’re staying together. Good luck with that. For those who don’t know me, when I say that, the translation is, all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you.

Jazmin meets up with Jason at the park. They’re going on a walk so Jazmin can vent about Dawn. She says Dawn is making it impossible to have a relationship and wonders if it’s time to be done with her. Jason says there isn’t enough love behind Dawn’s tough love. He tells Jazmin that she’s not Dawn the second, she’s Jazmin the first. Jasmin says she’s damned if she does, and damned if she doesn’t; Dawn nags at her no matter what. Jason thinks there might be some resentment because Jazmin is married to Dawn’s only brother. He wants to invite Dawn to his family home for dinner, so she can see a different family dynamic.

Lila wants to play Switzerland and visits Dawn. Dawn thinks there’s too much pressure for her and Jazmin to be friends just because they’re outlaws inlaws. Since Dawn has the tact of a rock being thrown at someone’s head, she tells Lila how she couldn’t understand why Jazmin was upset when Dawn publicly criticized her lipstick color. Lila says she lacks charm and manners, and she should be nice for it’s own sake.

Dawn says that she and David were adopted. Their parents were little people and they had to fend for themselves often, so she thinks everyone should do the same.

Jason has Jazmin and Dawn over to his parents’ house for dinner. When Jazmin comes in, Dawn makes a face like she smelled something bad. She’s annoyed that Jason didn’t tell her that Jazmin was coming. Dawn talks blah-blah-blah about independence. Jason says it’s good to know friends are there if you need them, but Dawn says you don’t have to live with people to know that they’re there. She feels there’s a high expectation when it comes to family and talks more nonsense. Jazmin says family is family no matter what and Jason says relationships take work. Dawn says she feels like she’s being talked at. Since she’s constantly talking at people, it’s about time the tables turned. She can’t deal, so she leaves before dessert, claiming she has to work. Jason is concerned he made things worse.

Dawn keeps babbling how she and Jazmin don’t have to be best friends just because they’re related, but fails to understand that no one is asking them to. They would just like Dawn to act halfway friendly. She seems to have no concept that there’s a huge spectrum between strangers and BFFs.

Commercial break with important information. The UnReal season premiere is June 6.

Jason asks to stop by Dawn’s place. She says okay, but isn’t sure he has her best interest at heart. He asks why she left so abruptly and she makes up excuses. She says she felt ambushed and Jason says he doesn’t get it. She says she’s sick of everyone jumping into her and Jazmin’s relationship and asks why he didn’t tell her Jazmin was going to be there. He says because he knows Dawn and didn’t think she would come. Dawn says everyone should mind their own business.

Jason invites everyone to go camping. He seems to think a peaceful weekend outside of the city will refresh them. I’ve decided Dawn always looks like she smelled something bad.

Lila and Katie get together. Lila feels that Katie wasn’t given the warmest reception to the group, so she’s treating her to a pedicure. Tiny, cute toes! Katie asks if Lila remembers her from a convention years ago and that Lila wasn’t too nice. Lila tells her if it happens in the future, just let her know. Lila was probably drinking back then. She says they’re both going through stressful, emotional changes.

Lila talks about losing her dad and how he was her hero. Katie says she loved her dad too, and it’s hard knowing he won’t see his grandchild. Lila says she’s dreading the big life moments to come without her dad. I identify, since my father passed away shortly before I got married. Katie says she’s surprised by Lila’s support and understanding.

Katie is struggling to put together a crib. Jess comes in with a dog she adopted (GiGi), and Katie wonders if Jess is expecting her to take care of it when she isn’t there. Jess says funny you should say that, and tells her about the camping trip.

Let the camping commence! The gang loads up the car and Dawn pretends to be excited. She immediately tries to start an argument with Jazmin. Jason says it’s going to be a long trip. Jazmin says something has been weighing on her that involves Jess and she’s hoping to get a chance to discuss it with the others. Because God forbid she should actually discuss it with the person involved.

Dawn is a backseat driver, which is no surprise. Jason sees a possible bear food sacrifice in the future.

They get to a farmstead where they’ll be camping. It’s mega-cool and Jess says she can’t imagine anyone complaining about this place, even Dawn. They fight over who gets what bunk. It looks to me like whoever owns the farm built a bunkhouse to make some extra bucks. The owner explains they won’t be attacked by wild animals, which everyone seems concerned about. On a farm. Lookout for that chicken stampede!

Katie video chats with her baby daddy, PJ. She says she needs support and help, and that she loves him and wants them to be a family. PJ says it’s time for him to stop being a kid and understand that his own kid is coming. He says he’s here for her and the baby and is getting plane tickets immediately. Gee, that was easy.

Jess says that she knows Katie is going to be a great mom. She feels guilty for leaving Katie behind, but figures it will be crazy when the baby comes, so she’s getting in some relaxation. Jason has one last plan to make the bickering go away. He calls everyone outside. They’re going to light and release some lanterns and let go of the bad stuff and bring in the good times. Dawn asks if the lanterns are biodegradable.

Glad you asked, Dawn. Let me tell you about those lanterns. One of these landed in my backyard once. Still on fire. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it. And how thankful I was that I happened to be there when it landed. So sorry to rain on Jason’s lantern parade, but I hate these things and think they’re a fire hazard. I’ll bet they’re bad for the dolphins too.

Lila wants to prank Jason, who is easily scared. She asks Jess to be her partner in crime. Lila dons a wolf mask; Jess is going to distract Jason. Lila sneaks up on his chair and he dumps hot tea on himself, but takes it like a champ. Everyone laughs except wet blanket Dawn. Lila says you can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the stick out of the girl’s ass. Ha-ha! She tells Dawn she has zero sense of humor which is probably true.

It’s time for s’mores and Debbie Downer Dawn says she can’t imagine putting a marshmallow on a stick and eating it. Jess makes fun of her and Dawn gets pissed at Lila for not defending her. She pulls Lila aside, which Jason says is never good, and proceeds to get totally out of control. Lila says she’s not always going to back Dawn, especially when she acts stupid. Whattsamatta, Dawn? Can’t be as independent as you would like your family members to be? I dub this poetic justice. Dawn says a friend to all is a friend to none (did she get that from Brownies or Blue’s Clues or something?). Then she adds that there’s no “i” in team, but there’s a “u” in see-you-next-Tuesday, which is what Lila is. Lila reacts mildly IMO, and says Dawn ostracizes herself all the time and calls her an a-hole. I’d say Lila showed some restraint there.

The next day, the Slip ‘N Slide is brought out. Everyone except Dawn plays around on it. Afterward, Jazmin thinks it might be a good time to talk to Dawn about their relationship, since Dawn is feeling alone. She apologizes for yelling at Dawn. She says that they don’t have to be best friends, but she’d like some support. Dawn says she loves Jazmin and David, and she doesn’t want to fight. They hug. In her interview, Jazmin says Dawn makes it hard to love her, but she’s family, and time will tell if she makes good on keeping the peace.

Jess goes to make a call and Jazmin wants to talk to everyone. She tells them she saw Jess and Katie smoking after belly dancing. She took a video and shows it to them. Oh. Horrors. Now, I’m not advocating smoking while pregnant, but it’s not like she was chain-smoking and taking a video? And then showing it to other people without even discussing it with her?? Really???

Next time, Lila plans and intervention, PJ comes to NYC, and Katie and Jess feel attacked.

May 16, 2016 — GH, Charms of the South & Wives of Dallas

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian wonders why Alexis keeps the dagger in the china cupboard to begin with, and she says isn’t he glad she did, since it was within reach. He swears he didn’t touch it.

Sonny tells Carly what happened. She asks if the police think he had anything to do with Carrrlos getting stabbed, but he says he doesn’t think so.

Finn orders several space heaters for Roxie. Monica says Danny would love to meet her and Finn says he’ll arrange a play date. They talk about bringing Roxie to the hospital for the kids. Finn asks how Tracy is. Monica says you’d never know anything had happeend, but there’s controversy about Mr. Ellis’s death

Elizabeth talks to Jake while nuAmy eavesdrops. She tells him he’s not going to be seeing Franco anymore. When he asks why, Franco hears him and tells him to ask his father.

Jason remembers everything now, so I guess we can put that storyline to rest…somewhat.

Commercial break. Does Flonase really need to tell me that 6 > 1?

Carly says she knows Sonny didn’t kill Carrrlos, but still wonders where he was. Sonny tells her about going to Crimson with Alexis and how Michael ended up pulling Carrrlos out of the water. She’s like, thanks for calling and letting me know.

Julian tells Alexis he was exactly where he said he was. Alexis questions Nina being in a bathrobe at a meeting, and he fills her in on the Franco/Nina situation.

Finn says Mr. Ellis’s death was unexpected and he was stable when Finn left him. He says that all the tests that had been run were negative. Monica concurs, since she double-checked everything. She tells him Obrecht asked the peer review group to open up a case.

Elizabeth tells Jake that sometimes adults have to make decisions that kids don’t understand. She says that Jason doesn’t think Franco is the best person to treat him. NuAmy says that his mother must have agreed, since she’s the one who canceled all of the appointments. I applaud her audacity.

Jason tells Sam about the accident. He says he was trying to figure how to get Dante out from under the van, when Robin spoke to him.

Monica says Obrecht feels Mr. Ellis’s death was preventable.

NuAmy fills another nuNurse in on last year’s Nurses Ball. Amy is giving her all the gossip and Monica interrupts. She suggests Amy get back to work, and if she hears more trash talk, Amy will be backstage at the Ball.

Monica tells Finn it wouldn’t be an issue if the family had ordered an autopsy.

Elizabeth tells Jake that they’re enrolling him in an art class, but he says he wants to work with Franco. She tells him he needs to get to his appointment and he shakes her off, saying he’ll walk over by himself. Franco asks if Elizabeth is a doormat or does she really think he’s a danger to her son?

Jason explains that seeing Robin was probably his way of fighting his conditioning. He says the memories were intact, he just couldn’t reach them. Sam says she doesn’t understand, and he says neither does he, and tries to come up with theories.

Carly says next time Sonny feels the need to step out in the middle of the night, to please tell her first. She was worried and concerned that the police were going to be looking for him. Sonny says Julian is the one who would gain the most from Carrrlos’s death.

Julian says Alexis had to know the witness was a set-up. She says she didn’t get a chance to question him and how convenient that he died from an overdose after years of being clean. She says the look on Julian’s face was sheer panic when she said Carrrlos was still alive. Julian still tries to pretend that Carrrlos was his friend and Alexis says Carrrlos was a man who was going to put Julian away for the rest of his life. Julian says she saw him at Crimson. Alexis says that was later and he asks why he would have done it himself. Wouldn’t he have one of his lackeys kill Carrrlos? Alexis starts weeping and says it’s unthinkable he would use the dagger that killed her mother. He says check it; it’s clean, and she says because he cleaned it.

Alexis starts going nuts, looking for any proof. Success! She finds the towel he used to clean the dagger with. It only took her about two seconds, so Julian didn’t hide that very well. I gotta say, I wonder too, why he would use the dagger, since it has a unique blade. A carving knife would have been less traceable. It seems like a really stupid move for a guy who’s a mob boss.

Finn says Obrecht resents him in general. Monica says she especially didn’t like how he put Dr. Mays in his place. He says she seems to be holding him personally responsible for her being let go. She says he saved Tracy’s life, and Tracy had a big say in it.

Elizabeth says Franco crossed the line and was acting like his old self. She thought he’d changed, but she was wrong. He says he just lashed out because of the Nina situation, but he’s working his way out of the hole he’s in. He says even Obrecht has pushed him away. He says Elizabeth is pretty much the closest thing he has to a friend.

Jason tells Sam that as soon as he got Dante free, the memories flooded in, from the color of Sonny’s old office drapes to their first kiss. He says he’d been trying to convince himself the memories didn’t matter, but he was wrong.

Sonny says after the accident, Carrrlos would have certainly taken the deal. Carly says Julian was at Crimson. Sonny says even if Alexis was telling the truth, Julian might have done the dirty deed and then jetted to Crimson. Carly asks what he’s planning.

Alexis says the stain on Julian’s shirt wasn’t wine, it was blood, and he killed Carrrlos to save himself. Julian says she needs to trust that he did everything because he loved her and so their life together wouldn’t end. She asks him who he is. He says he’s still her husband and she pushes him away. She starts to call the police and Julian takes the phone. He says she needs to ask herself who she is. She chose to stay with him even though she knew he ordered the hit on Duke and that makes her complicit.

Franco says he’s not a danger to Jake and Elizabeth needs to stand up to Jason. Amy comes over and says Jake didn’t show up for the appointment.

Sam tells Jason so much for getting to know each other again. He says they have been apart for two years, but he knows how they started now. He trips down Sam Memory Lane. She says he has his life back, and he says that depends on her.

Sonny says he has to figure out a way to use Carrrlos’s death against Julian. Carly says he should let the police handle it, but Sonny says Julian has Alexis in his corner, which Carly finds ironic considering Alexis’s high horse attitude.

Julian tells Alexis she made her choice to accept him. She says he swore he was out of the mob. He says he changed his life for her, but she should have known his past would come back to haunt him. He says when push came to shove, he did what he had to. He says she chose to defend Carrrlos and protect the both of them and blah-blah-blah about how they love each other. He says the important thing is that it’s over and they can live their life together with their kids and grandson. He says otherwise, two men died for nothing. And what is with Julian’s hair? I vote no.

Franco says no one saw Jake leave the hospital and security is out front. Elizabeth says how do they know someone didn’t take him? The police come and Amy points out Elizabeth, who tells them Jake was supposed to be going to his appointment.

Sam says the worst thing was trying to convince Jason he was a good guy. He says maybe not so much, and she says they’ve both made their share of mistakes, and now they have a chance to find their way back together again. She says she loves him.

Finn startles Carly, who is looking at some reports at a table in the MetroCourt. She tells him that his space heaters came in. She asks him to look at a printout regarding her daughter’s kidney. He says it’s against the rules and she says since when did he care about that? Finn says never.

Julian makes up some nonsense about how they’re the only two people who matter. Alexis says he’s a killer. He says he did what he could to weather the storm, but they can fix this. She starts laughing and says how? He says what’s done is done. Carrrlos can’t be brought back, but they can survive this together.

Julian takes the bloody towel to the fireplace. Alexis says she’s not letting him throw the evidence away. He says it has to be done and this is for them. It doesn’t get much more spineless than Alexis here.

Elizabeth says it’s all her fault and she should have walked Jake to the office. She wonders where Franco went and Amy says maybe he’s out searching. Yeah, searching his apartment where Jake is eating some sugary cereal.

Sam tells Jason he should be checked out by a doctor. She wants to know that he’s okay with no concussion or complications. He says he hates hospitals but he’ll go.

Finn looks over the reports. He makes noises and Carly asks if he found something. He says maybe. He points out an administrator’s number and that they did overtime that day. He says the employee hasn’t worked at GH since the transplant and they probably know something.

Julian tells Jellyfish Alexis that this is about damage control and throws the towel in the fire. There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it’s Sonny. She answers. Yep, it’s Sonny and he asks if Julian told her who killed Carrrlos. He says by the look on her face, she knows.

Tomorrow, Franco tells Elizabeth he has Jake, Lucy is back for the Nurses Ball (yay!), and Julian threatens Sonny.

Southern Charm

Shep and Craig meet for lunch. Shep asks what happened after the bourbon tasting. Craig tells him about JD saying he’s not ready to head a division and Naomie getting sad about it. Geez, it wasn’t like he lost his job. Shep says Craig should work on taking the bar, but in the meantime wants him to come on the Appalachian trip.

Craig asks if he’s inviting Kathryn. Shep tells him that several others won’t come if he does. Craig wonders why Whitney is so against her, and says they should be inclusive, and that Kathryn would probably be more chill if she felt warm and fuzzy. He says she probably won’t come because of her pregnancy anyway. Shep relents and calls her, but she’s on modified bed-rest and doesn’t think it would be a good idea to travel. Shep thanks the cosmos.

Thomas (bleh) visits Kathryn’s new house. She asks if Thomas is going on the trip with Shep and company. She tells him that Shep called her, but she can’t go. Thomas says he doesn’t want to go if she’s not going, but Kathryn encourages him. In his interview, he says he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He might be T-Rav, but she’s T-Rex. He tells her maybe he’ll go and just stay one night.

Cameran visits a therapist. She’s struggling with the baby thing. Her husband is ready for one and she’s not. She wants to figure out if she’s just not maternal or her decision is rooted in anxiety. She says her own mom is her role model and she can’t say enough good things about her, but she wasn’t the cookie-baking typical Southern woman type. The therapist asks if when she thinks of having a child, does she think of getting something or giving up something? Good question! Cameran says everyone tells her that her life will change and she doesn’t even like being a passenger in a car. The therapist seems to think that her parents’ divorce is a factor. Even though Cameran thinks she’s too old to be affected by it, the therapist says childhood events drive our lives. This woman seems to actually know what she’s talking about, unlike some therapists I’ve seen on the reality shows.

Craig talks to his mom about the house in the mountains and whatever is needed for the trip. He thinks the house is even going to impress Whitney.

Landon (ugh!) gets together with her sister, Bam, about whose name I could make a million jokes. She tells Bam about her online magazine idea. Landon is the oldest of three girls and says she’s trailing behind both of them. No big shock. We flash back to her visit with the NYC mogul and how it kind of bombed. Landon says how much she likes Craig’s girlfriend, Naomie, but I think it’s just so she can talk smack about Kathryn.

Craig comes by Kathryn’s place. He says for once in her life, she’s not the one causing the drama. They talk houses. Craig wonders about Whitney. He asks Kathryn if they used to be friends, and she says they were more than friends. She says it was more than just a physical thing and she spent a lot of time with him and his mother. We see a clip where she was keeping a lot of stuff at his house. Wow. Here’s to a secret very well kept.

We see a few more flashbacks where Whitney was very complimentary to Kathryn. Craig says Whitney makes it out to be like a one-night stand, when a one-night stand doesn’t keep clothes at your house. Kathryn tells him that she’d hooked up with Thomas prior to Whitney, but it went nowhere. Then she and Thomas met at a party and she left with him because she had liked him better. She says Whitney put her stuff on the curb after that. She says he’s one of those people you think has no feelings for anyone else, and Craig says this explains why they’re still dealing with this three years later. They show another scene that didn’t make sense in the first season, but does when it’s put together with what she’s saying now.

Shep has organized a party bus and Cameran is hoping it doesn’t have a stripper pole. Everyone meets at the bus and they head for Asheville (NC). Thomas and JD will be joining them separately. Thomas gets to the hotel first. Craig thinks they’re in Nashville, which Shep tells us is another four hours west.

The hotel is cute. The group checks in and meets in the lobby. Hanger-on Dani is there too. I’m not sure why, but she rubs me the wrong way. Thomas is glad for a night out where he can be himself. An immature a-hole? He tries to chat up some teenagers on the street and I get embarrassed even though I’m just watching it on TV.

They go to a beer garden where Whitney and Thomas make fun of the bluegrass music. There’s a large size Jenga game on the outside tables that they periodically play. Moving on. To the next bar, owned by a college buddy of Shep’s who gave him his first fake ID. Moving on again, but just next door. They have dinner and Shep makes a toast. Someone says things are going swimmingly, and Shep says that’s probably what they said before the Titanic went down.

Cameran thinks that Landon hearts Shep. Me too. Thomas says he’s just staying one night and acts like it’s because of Kathryn. Ha! He’s just getting old. I still don’t get why he has no friends in his own age group. Whitney says Kathryn is the curse of Moncks Corner he can’t escape. Craig thinks Whitney is irrational when it comes to Kathryn and that Thomas is actually being responsible. Moving on. Next bar.

This one is more a dance club. Thomas immediately starts chatting up a girl with tatts and piercings, saying, it’s awesome, man, or something like that. Bleh. Thomas. He acts stupid and puts the moves on girls who don’t want them. One dances away with Shep.

Thomas goes to Shep’s room in the morning. He says that he thought Kathryn was being irrational about Landon, but now he realizes Kathryn is right. Landon confessed that she didn’t really invite Kathryn to Shep’s birthday. Shep is a little miffed too. He says Landon has a catty side where she takes things too far.

Cameran and Whitney decide to rent a car. Shep wonders if he should be offended. Thomas leaves and it’s back to the bus with the others.

They go through where Shep grew up and he points out his grandparents’ house. They get to their destination and the house is amazing. It has a phenomenal view and Shep says it’s the happiest place of all. I can see why. JD and Elizabeth join them. Cameran says Shep never even mentioned this house, but he isn’t the type to brag about what his family has. Even though I wouldn’t want to date him, I like Shep.

JD wants to talk to Craig who does not want to talk about work. Craig says Naomie was sad about the bourbon thing, but JD says just because something doesn’t work out immediately doesn’t mean it won’t in the future and that he wants Craig to succeed. He also wants Craig to make Dani feel comfortable about taking the position Craig wanted.

Jennifer visits Kathryn, who is bored out of her mind. She can move around, but not leave the house. Kathryn tells Jennifer about the trip and that Thomas called, telling her how Landon admitted not inviting her to Shep’s birthday. She says Thomas has been surprisingly helpful with the move. She says their past is tumultuous and crazy, but he’s making an effort.

I cry because I will never, ever have a kitchen like the one in Shep’s mountain house. Shep confronts Landon about not inviting Kathryn to his party. He says in the future, tell him the truth. I’m not surprised someone has to tell her something this simple, but then I remember she can barely form a sentence.

Whitney argues with Craig over grilling the steak. The food looks incredible, steaks, corn on the cob and grilled vegetables. The topic of Kathryn comes up. Whitney says she’s a lying psychopath, and Craig says he’s just mad because she slept with his best friend after staying with him.

Next time, Whitney calls Kathryn a liar, poor Whitney is upset, Kathryn’s inducement date gets moved up, and Kathryn disappears. Lots of Kathryn.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Stephanie has a decorator coming in for son Chance’s room. She says that Travis’s mother is a decorator and he thinks that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, but that’s not the case. Travis wants to be all involved, which annoys Stephanie. She says once a plan is in place, Travis always wants to change it. She says the one gift she wishes he’d give her is to trust her judgment.

Brandi is still ticked off about how Bryan acted at the barbecue for her father, late and drunk. She says he’s not giving her or the family the attention they deserve and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She tries calling him and gets voicemail.

Marie is apparently inching her way into Wives status. Brandi goes to Marie’s house. She’s been working with Marie’s daughter, Sofia, on cheerleading. She says it’s a real favor, since she taught cheerleading and dance to high schoolers and it wasn’t fun. Marie is also close to Leeanne, so Brandi is hoping to get some insight. Brandi says the lessons make her miss being a Cowboys cheerleader.

Rich asks Leeanne what’s bothering her about Marie. She says she wants to trust Marie, but Tiffany has told her that Marie has been texting her smack talk about Leeanne.

Brandi tells Marie that despite Leeanne being batsh*t crazy, she had fun at Marie’s party. Marie says Leeanne could benefit from therapy. She says Leeanne is going to have to apologize for her nutty behavior.

Cary and Mark go shopping. They’re updating their website photos and looking for new outfits. Cary says the website needs to draw in the upscale clients they want, so the pictures need a refresh. Mark gets excited over a few of the dresses and picks out some things for her.

Brandi goes to Stephanie’s house. Stephanie is putting everything back into her son’s newly decorated Cowboys-themed room. Brandi tells us the nasty habits her husband has, as though we need to like him any less. She says it’s funny how you don’t notice a lot of things during the honeymoon phase. They talk about the barbecue and Brandi says how hurt she was about Travis acting stupid. Stephanie thinks Brandi should talk to him and reconnect with a date night. Brandi says Bryan isn’t good with confrontation, so she’s afraid to deal.

Tiffany visits Leeanne. They’re going to Marie’s house “to seek answers.” As a true Housewife should, Tiffany has printed out the texts. Leeanne wants to know why the texts happened and if her reputation is in jeopardy. I dunno. Maybe Marie is ticked off about Leeanne’s idiotic behavior at her party.

Leeanne and Tiffany say a prayer before going into Marie’s. Marie asks how they’ve been since the party and Leeanne says it was a bad scene, daddio. (Okay, I added the daddio.) Tiffany says she doesn’t like engaging in the kind of texts Marie has been sending. She pulls the texts out, handing them to Leeanne, and Marie looks like a deer in headlights. Marie says she would never talk behind Leeanne’s back. Leeanne says if Marie has something to say about her, she hold say it to her face. Marie says she was seriously concerned about Marie’s welfare. Leeanne drags Brandi into it, saying the issue is between them. Marie says Leeanne made it everybody’s issue. Leeanne says she walked out of the party because she was going to get violent. Leeanne gets loud and says stupid stuff. Once again, in her interview, Leeanne says she doesn’t do hurt. Seriously, get therapy and stop acting out when you have the feels. You’re too old for this. She tells Marie she’s been putting negative bugs in Tiffany’s ear and asks what she’s told Brandi. Marie says they never discuss Leeanne, but we flash to Brandi saying Leeanne is nuts. The girls say blah-blah-blah about being open. Leeanne says Marie might have originated from a good place, but she’s forgotten what loyalty is. She’s glad Tiffany held her hand through this.

Cary and Mark are using friend Carrie’s apartment for the photo shoot. Carrie gives direction with Mark working the camera. They take a lot of great pictures with and without great clothes.

Brandi talks about how hard it is, raising the girls basically with no Bryan and no other help. She says when Bryan is gone, one of the girls (Brooklyn) is especially bratty. Brandi does the throwing the spaghetti on the wall thing to see if it’s done. I do that too, but not near an electrical outlet. She calls Bryan, who is about to board a flight, and suggests a date night next time he’s home.

Gayle and Oprah are the names Stephanie gave the oversize warrior garden statues that Travis won’t let her get rid of. Brandi has brought outfits for them. This reminds me of a guy not far from me who has a manatee statue next to his mailbox that he dresses up seasonally.

Mark and Cary look at the pictures. Cary is very critical of herself, but Mark says she’s perfect. She wants them photoshopped, but he’s not on board with that. I’m not sure what she has to be concerned about. They get all mushy. I like these two. They seem like the only normal ones.

Stephanie loves her son’s new room, but is nervous at the unvailing, since it’s not what Travis wanted. Chance is really too young to be impressed by something like this. Travis says they did a great job and compliments Stephanie.

Brandi and Bryan are getting ready for date night. He’s exhausted from traveling, but she feels they need to get in some time together. They leave the kids with a sitter and go out to eat. They order martinis. Bryan looks tired. Brandi thinks he’s checked out as far as feelings go. They toast to a good summer.

Brandi says she’d like more time with him, but expects him to be a mind reader about it. It’s painful watching her try to get her thoughts out, with him looking like he’s not even there. She says with all his traveling, sometimes she feels like she doesn’t get the attention she needs from him. He’s like, seriously?

Bryan feels like she gets all the attention. She says she wants them to have more family activities with the girls. Again, she’s not expressing herself well. She says she feels unloved and unappreciated. She asks if she did something wrong and he says yes. She asks what. Bryan doesn’t answer and she says she doesn’t understand him. He just sits there like a cold lump and she starts to tear up, saying somehow it’s always her fault. He says he didn’t see that one coming What? He says he’s had enough and leaves her sitting there.

Next time, a charity event at the House of Blues, gossip about Cary, and Brandi’s brother attempts suicide.

May 11, 2016 — GH, & Little & Big Women in NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina is at the office, staring at the weird picture of her that Franco sketched.

Franco is in a prison visiting room. Heather comes in wearing lots of chains.

Sonny wonders who would transfer Carrrlos in the first place.

Carrrlos tells Julian he’s at Pier 54, which might as well be Studio 54, since it’s so crowded all the time. Julian asks what he’s doing with Anna’s phone. Carrrlos says she found him, but he didn’t kill her, he just put her on ice.

Ah, the reappearance of Duke we were promised. He wakes Anna.

Carrrlos tells Julian he has no money and no ID. Julian says it’s too risky, but Carrrlos tells Julian he still has a life because of him. He just wants to be reunited with Sabrrrina and the baby, and swears Julian will never hear from him again.

Nina almost whacks Dillon in the head. He was coming in to catch up on work and didn’t realize she was sleeping there. She says the MetroCourt was booked. Kiki runs in and tells Nina she has to get home now, because Franco is losing his mind.

Franco asks Heather if she’s surprised, since the last time he saw her, she was trying to inject Nina with LSD. He tells her he’s painting again and she says she’s working on some new paintings herself. She’s moved on from sandwiches to salads. He shows Heather his latest work, a portrait of her.

Carly tells Sonny that Dante wants him to stay out of it and let the police handle it. Sonny says they see things differently. She says Carrrlos is in so much trouble, he’s going to have to take whatever deal they give him. Michael comes in and says what if they don’t find him.

Carrrlos tells Julian that he’ll have no choice but to take the plea bargain if he gets caught. Julian tells him not to get caught.

Duke, who looks amazing for a dead guy, tells Anna how beautiful she is. She says it’s been a nightmare without him and she failed him. She says she tried to bring Carrrlos to justice and Duke deserves better than that. Duke says he doesn’t want her wasting her life on that; they’re together now and that’s all that matters.

No surprise, Julian gets his gun. Alexis walks in with a cop. Good.

Kiki tells Nina it’s urgent and Dillon is surprised she left the apartment by herself. Nina says she and Franco broke up. Kiki says he’s not taking it well, and painting some scary things.

Heather says Franco’s creative forces are back. He says he’s been having a hard time with Nina because she wants a baby. Heather says a new version of Franco would be great, but he says it’s a terrible idea. He says her adoption talk was the beginning of the end. Heather says she never liked Nina anyway. Franco says he’s lost without her and the only good thing he has left is his job at the hospital as an art therapist. He says Obrecht helped him and she’s been very supportive. Heather says Obrecht is trying to stifle his creativity with a mundane job. Franco says she’s not the problem. Since he lost Nina, he’s been having dark thoughts that he doesn’t know how to stop. He doesn’t know how to get Nina back. Heather badmouths Nina some more and Franco tells her to stop and tell him how to win Nina back instead.

Carly says if Carrrlos isn’t found, Sonny needs to cut his losses and not poison his life seeking revenge. She says he should be grateful for what he has. They hear Avery cry over the monitor. Carly says Avery feels the same way and goes to tend to her. Michael tells Sonny what happened when he went to see Carrrlos. He asks if Jason’s interference was Sonny’s idea. Sonny says Carly is right and Carrrlos is trouble no one needs.

Alexis comes in with two cops. She says she told Jordan that if Julian heard from Carrrlos, he would have said something. One of the officers says they have a search warrant and they go looking. Alexis asks Julian what’s up with the gun. He says it’s to protect himself, since Carrrlos is on the loose. Alexis locks it up, but Julian hides another weapon in his waistband. He tells her he has to go to the office.

Carrrlos hears the cops coming. Anna tells Duke she’s been lost without him. She’s had grief, rage and pain about the unfairness of it all. She tells him his funeral was beautiful and people were so kind, she forgot for a while, but then fell into despair. She tells him about shooting Carrrlos and how she let the anger win. Duke tells her it’s over. He says it can’t be undone and she can’t go on reliving it. Anna says they had so much more they could have done and it’s gone. They laugh about the things they might have done. He says they both lost so much, but they’re together now. He kisses her hand.

Kiki tells Nina that Franco is spiraling and she needs to ground him. Nina says she can’t do that, and Dillon says she can’t even sleep without him. Nina says they waited so long to have sex and when they did it was great. If only they’d stayed in bed. Kiki is like, this is TMI.

Heather says she’s never been able to hang on to any of the men she’s been involved with. Franco says he’s come to accept that they’re more alike than he wants to admit. Heather says he’s a splendid son, despite who his father is, although she and Scotty were at their best in bed. Franco says it’s same with him and Nina, and Heather tells him to get her back between the sheets.

Duke talks about how if he’d begged Anna to run away with him before the Nurses Ball, they’d be in that cottage they talked about now. She tells him to take his own advice, no regrets, and tells him about Griff. The cops come, and Carrrlos hides under the pier.

The cops leave Julian’s and he tells Alexis he has to go. She asks if he’s going to see Carrrlos. He asks if she’s always going to question him now and she tells him to go, but be careful. He tells her he loves her and leaves.

Sonny calls Max, but no word on Carrrlos. Michael says Sonny seems surprisingly calm. They hear Carly with Avery over the monitor and Michael asks Sonny if the thing with Carrrlos is ever going away. Sonny says Carrrlos will get what he deserves, no matter who gives it to him. He thanks Michael for not putting himself at risk and coming home.

Duke asks who Griff’s mother is and Anna says Margaret Monroe. Duke says she was very shy, but serious. He says they broke up before he came to America, but he didn’t know she was pregnant. Anna tells him what Griff told her and about the letter.

Ha-ha! I can’t believe these goons don’t see Carrrlos’s head sticking out of the water.

The phone at Nina’s office rings. It’s Alexis, but she gets voicemail.

Julian gets to the pier. Carrrlos comes out of the water and tells him the cops just left. He says if anyone asks, he’ll say he was just taking a stroll. Carrrlos thanks him for coming and Julian says he’s there for him. If Carrrlos believes that, I have a bridge I’d like to sell him.

Alexis keeps trying to call Crimson’s office, but Nina thinks it’s Franco and won’t answer. She says if he wants to get back together, he needs to make a grand gesture.

Franco says he can’t believe that he came to Heather for advice. He says Nina won’t even talk to him, so how is he supposed to get her into bed? Heather says excuses are for ordinary people, not for extraordinary ones like them. Franco asks how that’s working for her. She says she thought she’d never see him again for one. She tells him to think big.

Carly and Michael come back downstairs to no Sonny. Carly asks if Sonny was talking about Carrrlos, and Michael says he said Sonny claimed that Carrrlos would get what’s coming to him.

Sonny thinks Julian is going to help Carrrlos, since he already killed a witness. Alexis says there was no evidence of foul play. Sonny says that doesn’t mean Julian didn’t do it. Alexis says it was strange that the witness suddenly showed up in the first place. Sonny says if Carrrlos comes back, it will ruin Julian’s new life. Alexis says he didn’t do it and Sonny says why isn’t he home then, adding because he’s with Carrrlos.

Julian gives Carrrlos some money and Carrrlos says he’ll never hear from him or see him again. He says men like them keep each other’s secrets. Julian says Carrrlos has a family to raise now. Carrrlos says just like Julian. Julian says the only thing left is good-by. I have a bad feeling about this, Beavis.

Anna tells Duke more about Griff, and how kind and generous he is, and that he’s a surgeon. Anna says when she’s with him, it’s like a part of Duke is in the room. She says Emma met him and is crazy about him. Duke says he always felt like Emma and Robin were his own family, but now he’s learned he has a son, but can’t be a part of his life.

Franco leaves and Heather goes on to the guards about what a genius he is.

Alexis opens the door to leave and runs into Sonny.

Kiki begs Nina to reach out to Franco, but she says it’s over. She says she needs some sleep and asks them to leave. Dillon says if Franco is being weird, he should follow Kiki home. Nina says relationships don’t work out, but Kiki says they’re just friends. I smell a set up.

Michael says he has to leave and clear his head. Carly tells him don’t go near the pier, the docks or Sonny’s office. He tells her Sonny will come home; he always does.

Sonny says Julian has two options, helping Carrrlos or killing him. Alexis says Julian claimed he went to Crimson, but isn’t picking up the phone.

Nina comes back into the office and Franco is there. In his birthday suit.

Duke tells Anna to tell Griff he loves him and would have sacrificed everything for him. Anna says there’s a lot of Duke in him, except for dancing. She says she loves Duke and always will. He says he feels the same way. They kiss. He tells her he promises she’ll get through this. Anna wakes up alone.

Julian says despite the trouble Carrrlos caused him, he did a lot for him and he’s grateful. Carrrlos says ditto and adios, amigo. Julian stabs him.

Tomorrow, Franco begs Nina to come back, no one can find Anna, Sonny accuses Alexis of lying, and Maxie asks if Nathan made it.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Sonja is visiting her facialist, who is discussing something about placenta and the black market. I don’t want to know. Sonja has a party coming upand the facialist didn’t get her invite. Because you always invite your facialist to your parties. Sonja talks to her assistant about the RSVPs.

Jules comes by Carole’s place. She’s invited everyone over for a psychic reading and we flash back to the coffee grounds reader who was so accurate. Really. She was. The psychic’s name is Kim Russo and Dorinda is a big fan. Kim says she reads energy and that it can’t be destroyed, so she can talk about people living or dead. Jules doesn’t want to be rude, but says in her interview that seeing a psychic isn’t very Jewish.

Kim talks to Dorinda about the many Johns in her life. Bethenny jokes that it’s an uncommon name, she’s a born cynic, and pass more cheese. Kim brings up Dorinda’s dead husband. Carole says part of her doesn’t believe this stuff, but there’s another part that wants it to be real. Kim tells Dorinda something about coins and that her husband is sending them, and this strikes a chord. Ramona is late and of course has to be noisy because everyone must focus on her and only her.

Dorinda gets weepy and says that before her husband died, he said he was going to leave change for her, and when she sees it, she should know he’s looking out for her. She says she finds them in weird places. Dead husband Richard says John is good for now, but can’t give her the “safety” she needs.

Kim says she sees a man around Bethenny and asks if there’s an anniversary of a death soon. Bethenny checks her phone and says it’s her father. Kim tells Bethenny that her father communicates in a distant way and also not to say she won’t get married again, even though Kim doesn’t see her doing it. Bethenny isn’t too impressed. Dorinda asks if she’ll get married again and Kim says yes, but not to John. Big mouth Ramona says, thank God, and Dorinda tells her to shut up and quit talking smack about John. She says she doesn’t give Ramona her opinion about the idiots Ramona brings around. Oooh, Dorinda brings up Mario leaving her for someone else. I kind of don’t blame her, because Ramona won’t shut up. Carole says it’s embarrassing.

Ramona asks if she’ll get married again and Kim says yes, but this time she’ll do things differently. Bethenny has to leave to pick up her daughter and she’s like, thanks for the cheese. Kim talks to Ramona about her father, and Ramona says he died shortly after the first time they actually connected. Kim brings up a photo and Ramona gets weepy as we see the photo in question. They take a break and Dorinda says Ramona needs to stop talking about John because it’s ruining their relationship.

Kim tells Carole she did a good thing for her friends because other emotions came out and it’s healing. Um…probably not.

Carole visits Jules, who doesn’t know what an iPod is, or the difference between one and an iPad. Carole asks for tea and Jules is confused as to how to make it. She does live on this planet, right? Jules talks about the psychic and Carole says she didn’t tell Kim anything about any of them beforehand. They talk about Bethenny’s skepticism and Carole says she was on her phone the whole time. They show a clip, and yep, she was.

Carole brings up Ramona being stupid and then what the psychic said about Jules. Jules tells Carole about her eating disorder and in her interview, Carole reflects on how Jules has an interesting and obvious relationship with food. Carole says Jules wants to express herself in a way that emancipates her and empowers other women. Jules says when she was in rehab, she wished she had someone to look up to and give her hope, and she would love to be a role model, something the psychic also talked about. Carole says at some point, Jules should think about a way to articulate it, whether it’s through writing, speeches, or whatever. Jules says she could hire someone to write it and Carole says she knows a good ghostwriter. Ha-ha!

John and Dorinda meet for dinner. Dorinda says the menu has really small writing on it and she’s right, it’s tiny. John wants some PDA and Dorinda is like, no and stop it. She brings up Ramona’s remarks at the psychic reading. John says he’s been a gentleman and Ramona has been nothing but rude. In her interview, Dorinda says she and John can be volatile and he wants to make it about him, but she wants it to be about her tonight. She says neither John nor Ramona are taking her feelings into consideration. Dorinda says the psychic said Ramona would get married again and John says he wants the best for her and starts talking about himself. She tells him he’s not even letting her get a whole sentence out.

Dorinda says if John and Ramona can’t be friends they need to be cordial. John wants to comment, but she tells him not if it’s about the past. He can’t do it and can’t seem to stop talking about it. Dorinda says she stood up for him and he should be thanking her. She tells him he’s not listening and he can grab an EZ-Pass back to Queens. I’m not sure what she means by that, since it’s a device for a car.She leaves him sitting there swilling pasta.

Sonja is throwing a birthday party for herself and also revealing her latest venture. She’s told no one about it and says she’s taken Bethenny’s advice.

Bethenny is doing some kind of promotion on the street in Manhattan. It’s raining, but tons of people still come out. Bethenny says she’s very involved with her brand and doesn’t just slap her name on something like some celebrities do. She passes out some kind of shakes from a food truck. People are taking selfies with her and we flash back to her first promotion that no one came to. She talks to her assistants afterward and recognizes their hard work. She says everyone would kill for the job only because they don’t know how hard it is.

Sonja is setting up for the party and Peter, her business partner enters. They talk about their presentation. The venue looks huge, although Sonja says it holds about 100 people.

Dorinda and Sonja kiss John on the cheeks. Eew! Dorinda says she’s about going forward and they’re going to have a good night. Ramona talks about the Countess’s birthday gift to her. Sonja is annoyed that she has to hear the regifting story again and wonders what Ramona got her for her birthday.

The Countess enters and takes Ramona aside. She tells Ramona she heard that she thinks The Countess moving in with Sonja is a bad idea. Ramona says it will be a revolving door of men and endless drinking. Jules is trying to eavesdrop. Her husband is down with that and asks if she wants him to be her beard. The Countess says Ramona is one to talk, but Ramona says although she likes a good time, she dosn’t go as far as they do. Hello? Turks and Caicos anyone? Sonja joins them and says quit talking about me.

The drinks are flowing. Dorinda tells The Countess about the necklace and Ramona says thanks a lot since she didn’t have a chance to say something herself. Ramona is pretty ticked off about this regifting business, but it turns out that Ramona doesn’t understand what the word is. What happened is this. The Countess had shown Ramona a necklace from her jewelry line that Ramona loved, but it was a sample and made out of cheaper materials that her skin reacted to. When the actual piece was manufactured, The Countess gave Ramona one for her birthday. This is not regifting and I don’t think I need to explain what that is. Ramona bitches some more and compares the necklace to the bag The Countess gave Bethenny for her birthday. Ramona is tedious and I don’t think I could take five minutes with her.

Sonja has John quiet everyone. She thanks them all for being supportive. She says they’re going to be passing trays with her new prosciutto wine, called Tipsy Girl. Not too close to Bethenny’s SkinnyGirl. Ramona doesn’t think liquor should be anything Sonja is involved with. Jules thinks that Bethenny isn’t going to appreciate the name, but Dorinda thinks she won’t care.

Jules approaches Sonja with her concerns, but Sonja is oblivious.

Next time, Sonja and The Countess join forces, Bethenny explains that a brand that rides another brand’s coattails is called a cheater brand and is a personal insult, and John kicks Ramona out. Should be good.

Little Women: NY

I’m not recapping Little Women: LA — Matt and Briana, but I do want to mention that I came to believe Matt is an opportunist. Enough said.

Jazmin’s husband, David, has to go to Florida for work, and she’s looking for a roommate because she wants to stay in NYC. She goes over to Jess’s place to ask if she can stay there, but Jess just got a roommate. She introduces Jess to Katie, who is also pregnant.

Katie says she knows Dawn and her husband (Jazmin’s brother). She says she saw them at LP conventions when they were younger, but they lost touch. She asks Jazmin how Dawn is as a sister-in-law, and Jazmin gives her a mini earful, no pun intended. Jess says she finds it hard to believe Katie and Dawn were friends, and wonders what happened to Dawn to make her so cranky.

Jason and DJ are having a rooftop brunch. DJ lives in Connecticut and comes in on the weekends. Lila and Jason haven’t spoken since Lila acted like an asshat, kicking Terra out of the housewarming party for absolutely no reason. Jason and DJ talk about their relationship and what they like about each other. It’s Jason’s first relationship, so everything is new.

Jess invites Dawn to lunch. She’s hoping to correct some of Dawn’s misconceptions. Good luck with that. If you can get the stick out of Dawn’s butt, let me know. Dawn is immediately condescending about Jess’s wrestling past and how she thinks it’s a bad influence on Jazmin. Jess says judging people by their profession isn’t fair. While Dawn agrees, she says they come from a small community and the world is judgmental. Jess says she should still be able to do what she wants to do regardless of her size. Dawn asks if she thinks it’s progressive and Jess says it’s not all that serious. Dawn brings up dwarf tossing which is not the same thing. Jess says bye, Felicia…er, Dawn.

Jason makes breakfast for Lila as a peace offering and says they should talk. He apologizes for not giving her a heads up about Terra, but says he had no idea she would get so crazy about it. He asks if anything is wrong and Lila bursts into tears. Her father has been suffering from lung disease. She’s been going back and forth to Ohio to help, and he didn’t make it. Jason feels even worse now. He tells Lila her dad is watching over her and her mom now. Lila says it puts things into perspective.

Katie meets Terra in the park. They’ve known each other for years and Katie wants to connect since Terra just had a baby and can relate. Katie says considering the measurements, her baby is going to be a little person. Terra asks where PJ (Katie’s baby daddy) is, and Katie says they’re taking a break. Katie wants to get married. Terra says it will be okay; she and Joe weren’t married when they had Penny. Katie is worried her daughter is going to grow up without a dad. Terra says Katie has a great family and support system of friends, and even if PJ doesn’t come around, Katie’s baby has Katie. Katie feels a lot better after talking with Terra.

It’s time for David to leave and it’s hard on Jazmin. She doesn’t go with him to the airport because it’s hard enough to get just yourself through the airport these days. Jazmin says she has big dreams and tons of determination. She decides to vent to Jason.

Jazmin tells Jason about approaching Dawn as a roommate and Dawn giving her a lecture. Jason says he’s not surprised, but still thinks it’s cold. He says he and Lila have a spare room and she can move in with them. He says he can turn Will and Grace into Three’s Company. They FaceTime with Lila in Ohio. Lila says it’s been busy, but she and her mom know that once everything quiets down, it’s going to feel lonely. Lila explains the situation, but before she can say anything about moving in, Lila suggests it. Problem solved.

Katie has a doctor’s appointment and Jess tags along. The doctor asks the usual questions and they go in for a sono. Loud baby. The doctor says the baby has extra digits on both hands. The baby’s father also has six fingers on each hand. Katie says she’s okay with it, but asks if it’s removable. The doctor says yes, as long as there’s no bone involved. Katie is concerned about the cost of the delivery and doesn’t know what to do.

Jason and Jazmin “pinkify” Lila’s room with flowers and balloons. Wet blanket Dawn drops by and says it might be best to give Lila her space. Since she’s lost both her parents and is the authority on everyone’s feelings. She’s also the first one to be all over Lila the second she walks through the door.

Lila is happy to be home and feels loved and supportive. She says that she’s learned family matters and she’s getting a new sister in Jazmin. Dawn says blah-blah-blah about how Jazmin should be independent, but she’s glad that Jazmin has a safe roof over her head. I focus on their really cute long-haired Chihuahua.

Jazmin makes the big move. Lila says little people and big boxes do not mix. Jazmin says Jason and Lila are more like family than Dawn will ever be. Jazmin suggests they do some belly dancing to celebrate.

Jazmin invites the gang to a Mediterranean restaurant. Jess isn’t looking forward to seeing Dawn. Dawn is surprised to see Katie and thinks she should be keeping better company than Jess. Dawn asks what brought Katie to the city. Katie explains about the trial separation, and Dawn acts like the lead balloon she is. In her interview, Dawn says it doesn’t sound like a good plan and wonders what Katie will do if PJ doesn’t come after her. She asks how Katie met Jess, and Katie says they met through wrestling and fields Dawns comments before she makes them. Jazmin says you should be supportive or keep your mouth shut. Jess says Dawn is ignorant because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Dawn says if they’re defensive, they probably feel embarrassed by it. No, they’re just tired of your disparaging comments.

The exploitation discussion starts and Jazmin says they’re talking about her like she’s not there. Jazmin tells Dawn not to treat her she’s a child and she’s ignorant. Dawn says she thinks pretty highly of herself, meaning Dawn thinks very highly of herself. Who the blip says things like that?

A belly dancer comes out to change the focus. She’s wearing a tray of lit candles on her head and I’m not sure what to think. Everyone puts scarves with bells on them around their waists. Lila says with short arms, the moves just don’t look the same.

Jazmin is sick of Dawn’s attitude, and asks her to go to the ladies room. Jazmin tells her that she’s sick of Dawn talking down to her. She says she’s hurt that when she came to Dawn for help, she turned her back on Jazmin, but on the other hand, Dawn is all up in Jazmin’s business. She tells Dawn to stop trying to be a family member when she’s just an in-law. Lila joins them and Dawn looks like she smelled something bad, tells them they’re going around in circles, and leaves.

Dawn tells Jason good-by. Jazmin tells Lila she’s done.

Next time, the group uses a Slip’N Slide, Jazmin catches Katie smoking, and Lila and Dawn have it out.

May 10, 2016 — GH, Below the Grecian Deck & Lots of Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Hope you get a chance to check out The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed. The Secrets episode used to be subtitled Lost Footage, but I’m glad they changed it. It was just a bit of an insult to our intelligence (even though we are watching Real Housewives). I mean, really, did anyone think they just suddenly found this stuff? Sometimes, the scenes in Secrets Revealed are better than what we’ve seen throughout the season, and certainly more pleasant, and this one was a really fun show.

General Hospital

Alexis ponders a sleeping Julian. She goes downstairs and calls a guy named Oscar. She wants a post-mortem on Hale. She wants to know if it’s confirmed that it was an accidental overdose. Sam pops out of the dark in the living room.

Sonny makes a nice dinner for Carly. She wonders when he had the time and he says he sometimes cooks something up in the restaurant kitchen to relieve stress. Who knew? Carly tells him to let the legal system to take care of Carrrlos and he says it hasn’t done too well so far.

Paul tells Jordan if they don’t come up with some physical evidence to support the case, Carrrlos is going to walk.

Griff sees Anna’s gun box. She says she didn’t get a chance to put it away after securing her firearm when she got back. Griff gets nervous around guns and Anna asks if it’s because of Duke. He says partly, but one was also used against him.

Lulu and Maxie discuss wedding dresses. Maxie wants to go look at wedding dresses in NYC and take a side trip to Claudette’s address. She says once she knows why everything is such a secret, she can live happily ever after with Nathan.

Jason tells Dante he’s going to get him out of there. How? In the blown up van or the motorcycle?

Jordan asks Paul if it isn’t his job to compensate the lack of evidence by making a good argument. He thinks back to when he left the pen and paperclip for Carrrlos.

Carrrlos hides in the woods. Nathan calls for an ambulance and back up.

Carly brings up Sabrrrina’s statement, but Sonny says it can be thrown out of court since she’s not present and there’s no physical evidence. He says Alexis will do anything to protect Julian. Carly says that’s only because she can’t have Sonny, the mobster she really wanted and had to settle.

Alexis asks why Sam is sitting there in the dark and if she and Danny are okay. Sam says Danny is at the Quartermaines’ and she came to check on Alexis. Alexis says Anna was unhinged and practically twisted arms to put her in lock-up. She tells Sam that Anna was relentless in bringing up the past. Sam asks why Alexis would order an autopsy in the middle of the night and Alexis says she’s just being thorough. Sam tells her she wants her to stop with the defense of Carrrlos.

Nathan asks what the ETA is, since there are three injured people. Jason tends to Dante who asks what happened and where Nathan and Carrrlos are. I guess he doesn’t care about the poor nameless dead driver. Oddly enough, the only one who was apparently wearing a seat belt.

Anna asks if Griff was shot and he says yes. She asks if it was a robbery. He says he wasn’t a victim and the truth is, he asked for it because he was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. He says he was committing an act that had no justification, but he’s asked forgiveness for it. Okay, he has me intrigued. The phone rings. It’s Jordan and Anna has to go to the station. Griff also has to go to the ER and Anna asks if they can continue later.

Alexis asks for some consideration and Sam thinks she’s being coerced in some way. Sam says not to lecture her about how Carrrlos deserves a defense; it’s Julian’s mess to clean up, not hers. She says Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill Duke and he hasn’t changed or redeemed what he’s done in the past. She reminds Alexis there’s a reason for no statute of limitations on murder. Alexis says Jason is no better, but Sam say she’s not going to get sidetracked by listing how they’re different. Sam asks if she wanted the autopsy report because she wants to know if Julian killed Hale. Julian appears and says Sam should ask him that.

Lulu tells Maxie that bringing up the past doesn’t change it or make it better. Maxie says she doesn’t doubt Nathan loves her, but she doesn’t want Claudette being the unseen third person in their marriage. Lulu says she’s made peace with the Valerie and Dante thing and Maxie should just let it go.

Jason tells Dante what happened. He says the driver didn’t make it, but didn’t see anyone else except Dante. Dante asks how he got out from under the van and Jason says that’s a long story. A long story with a bunch of people who weren’t really there.

Anna blows into the station, yelling at Jordan about Carrrlos escaping. Jordan says she didn’t even have to tell Anna and Anna calms down. Jordan gives her the preliminary details. She says Carrrlos fled on foot with Nathan pursuing. Paul joins them and says it might be a random accident. Anna asks if he orchestrated it.

Julian says he refuses to let Sam accuse Alexis of anything and she tells him to butt out. The phone rings and Alexis finds out about Carrrlos’s escape from a transfer she wasn’t advised about. She has to leave but tells Sam and Julian to mind their manners with each other. Julian says he supposes Sam thinks he had something to do with Carrrlos’s escape.

Carly says Alexis wanted to reform Sonny into a house husband. He says he only cooks on special occasions. She says Alexis couldn’t move on and turned it into a moral crusade until she finally got a mobster of her own. Sonny says he agrees, but he’s more worried about her getting Carrrlos off. Carly says what if that happens? Sonny says she sounds like Jason asking a question he doesn’t want the answer to. Sonny says Jason is conflicted and thinks Sonny wants him to do his dirty work. Carly says they have to give him time to trust his instincts and let his memory bring him back.

Max calls. Sonny asks if he’s sure and who’s involved.

Lulu gets a call from the station about Dante and has to go to the ER. She asks Maxie to call Olivia to look after Rocco and explains about Dante.

Jason tells Dante about how he moved the van and how it blew up afterward. Dante says Jason saved his life. Well, yeah.

Sam says she doesn’t know if Julian had anything to do with Hale’s death, but she doesn’t like what it’s doing to Alexis. Julian says as soon as Carrrlos gets off, everything will be over. Sam is like, I see you don’t care much about the witness dying. She says she was supportive until the wedding turned into a hostage situation and she realized Julian hadn’t changed. She says Alexis seems less like an attorney than a desperate woman trying to hang on to the man she loves and she blames him for that.

Paul says how could he have caused an accident from the station?

Maxie and Lulu run into the hospital and Griff brings him up to speed. Maxie says Nathan isn’t answering her texts and is worried that he was in the accident too.

The paramedics arrive. Dante asks if Nathan is okay. One of the EMTs says Nathan could have a possible skull fracture and Nathan passes out.

Carrrlos somehow finds himself back at the docks like a homing pigeon.

Sonny and Carly get to the hospital. Lulu tells them what happened. Carly says the only thing they know is that there was an explosion. Dante is brought in. He tells Griff he’s fine, even though he has a knife sticking out of him and probably squashed legs. He tells them how Jason got him out from under the van. Nathan is brought in next. Griff says he’ll do everything in his power to save him; he owes him that much. More intrigue.

There’s a knock at Julian’s door. It’s Jason looking for Sam. She asks if he’s okay and he says better than he’s been in a long time.

Alexis asks Paul where Anna is. He says she slipped out and that can only mean she’s going after Carrrlos on her own.

Like the buzzards returning to Hinckley, Anna goes to the docks. She finds Carrrlos hiding. He says they meet again in the same place. He says she shot him four times and he’s not wearing a vest this time. He says she has a second chance because he’s not going back to prison. He tells her to pull the trigger and make it count. Nooo! Not my Carrrlos!

Anna tells him he deserves it, but there’s enough evidence to get a guilty verdict. She says a cop died tonight because of him. He says the accident wasn’t part of his plan; he was just trying to save his own life. She says that’s all that matters to him. He says she’s just like him and asks if she would be chasing him that hard if it hadn’t been Duke. Uh-oh, it doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. Oh wait, he was just fooling and gets the best of Anna. The gun goes into the water and they fight. Nice. She kicks his ass, but he ends up the victor. Anna is down for the count.

Paul tells Alexis he’s been watching her calculate what works out best for Julian and she tells him to go to hell.

Carrrlos takes Anna into a freeezer of some kind and leaves her there. What the blip do they do on the docks? Why is there a humongous freezer there?

Dante tells everyone what he remembers. Sonny says he should have killed Carrrlos when he had the chance. Dante apologizes for the screw up even though it’s not his fault. Jordan comes running in and says Nathan just went into surgery. Sonny says if she wants to find Carrrlos to check with Julian.

Jason wants to talk to Sam, who says she and Julian will talk later

Carrrlos calls Julian and says he needs Julian’s help – now

Sam tells Jason he should go to the hospital. He says he’s not hurt, but he remembers. He remembers everything, and I can’t believe I start to tear up. They kiss

Tomorrow, Anna is found, Carrrlos is surrounded, and Kiki says Franco is losing his mind.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

When we last left, Hannah was running around like a nut trying to find a way for the primary’s husband, boyfriend or whatever he is, to watch the Steelers game, lest the crew be penalized. Whiny Bob complains that he’s never missed a game and he was too stupid to plan the vacay around this one. I added that last part because I hate him with a passion.

Captain Mark messes with the cable on the yacht. The guys are all helping and they finally get an internet connection.

Ben is cooking scorpion fish and prays the guests like it, since Bob was a d-bag about the moussaka. He says it’s the filet mignon of fish. Hannah comes back and says there’s not one bar she can find that has anything but a local channel. Fear not though, the captain has come to the rescue. Tiffany is also a big Steelers fan and is jazzed.

Aw, Bob is all happy now like I give a flying. Ben is concerned that the kitchen is going to turn into a social hub. Hannah serves dinner and King Bob is pleased. Let’s all bow down, shall we? Do these people realize they’re on camera or do they just not care? After I saw a re-run of a Below Deck episode where there was an even more insufferable primary, he got on Twitter and claimed it wasn’t like that. He’d made a display of withholding part of the tip for a reason so petty, I’ve forgotten what it was. I didn’t fault him for tipping less, but it was appalling that he made a show of it, presenting the wad of cash to Captain Lee, and then removing some of it. I rarely tweet, but I told him that it was like that and maybe he should buy himself a personality with all his money. I just couldn’t help it.

Julia and Bobby seem to be getting along pretty well. She asks how well he holds his liquor and he says he can maintain, which means something totally different where she comes from.

Cranky Bob tells the captain his life story, like the captain cares. There’s difficulty with the buffering in streaming the game. The crew is exhausted already and the game will be on until 6 am their time.

They’re getting snippets of the game and it keeps going to freeze frame. Get these people drunk and show them cartoons, I say. Hannah goes to bed while Bob uses the f-word a couple of thousand times. He sniffles that the audio is bad. Tiffany hears me and says she’s gong to get him drunk. Aw, Bob is finally happy and jumping up and down like the 3-year-old he is. The Steelers loose. Good. I don’t really care, I just hate Bob.

Bob tells Danny he’s thinking of stealing one of the small boats. Let him, I say. Bryan tells Danny his radio is out and he shouldn’t be so casual with the guests. Danny thinks if he makes a connection, they might get a better tip. Duh, yeah.

Everyone is up and working. Julia says you always have to be doing something. It’s kind of like working at the Gap. I worked there for a back-to-school season when I first moved to NYC and you had to be moving all the time just in case the regional manager came in. We unfolded and refolded clothes a lot. Hannah asks Stupid Bob if he’s happy and he says yes, but she’s not happy with Tiffany. Tiffany watched some of the game with Bob at his request, since no one else was willing to keep him company all night, and Hannah thinks she should be working harder. I guess she was supposed to clone herself.

Jen hates everything about Greece, specifically the old buildings (what you call ancient architecture) and the food. Add another moron to the list. Ben tells Hannah to chill about Tiffany. He says she’s a third stew and not expected to be amazing yet. Hannah sends Tiffany to help Julia. Tiffany is upset about how Hannah is treating her and since Julia’s been in the same position, she tells her everything will be fine.

Hannah says she wants Tiffany to succeed and be happy, but doesn’t want to lower her standards. Ben tells her again to chill.

Captain Mark has been giving specific instructions on how to dock in this particular place because it’s really tight. I know from the previous seasons that docking is extremely difficult and has to be done perfectly. Bryan tells Jen what she needs to do. She claims she can do it with one hand tied behind her back, but she hasn’t seemed very capable up until now.

Big discussion among the male guests about the game. I’m hoping Village Idiot Bob had money on it. Deckhand Bobby says it’s nerve-wracking trying to dock. Captain Mark says it’s tough with a group of people who have never done this together before. Ben is impressed with the captain. The crew gets into their formal-wear for the departure.
Impossible-To-Please Bob says despite the game debacle, it’s the best trip he’s ever had. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I’d hate to be with him when he’s having a bad time.

Jen and Tiffany bond because neither one of them are “girly.” Bob tells Hannah he took an “objective test” and he’s clinically depressed. Did he get it off the internet?

It’s good-by or aloha or whatever. Primary Guest Christine thanks the captain and crew. She says everything was great, but there were a couple of “hiccups.” God, I promise if you make me rich, I won’t be an a-hole. Please-oh-please-oh-please. As fabulous as I think working on a yacht would be, I seriously doubt I could handle some of these people. They bitch about the game and how Bob wasn’t pleased. This comes from another one of the female guests since Cowardly Bob isn’t in sight and Christine just stands there and smiles. Now, my favorite part — tip time!

Captain Mark says they did quite well considering some of the obstacles they had. 15,000 Euros or $1388 each. For a three day trip. The captain says they deserve a night out and no drinking too much on the boat.

Julia has been with her boyfriend for two years and she says he’s a keeper. They show a few pics of him and I have to agree, he looks good. She says she used to be an idiot where men are concerned. Jen is pissed because she feels like she’s not being given important tasks. Well, maybe one of the reasons is her attitude. Bryan FaceTimes with his dad and tells him about his promotion to chief officer.

The crew gets gussied up and has a kiki before going to shore. Tiffany says she’s going to marry Ben so her name can be Mrs. Robinson. Hannah is embarrassed because Tiffany is drinking wine out of a bottle. Who cares? I can tell Hannah is going to be a barrel of laughs on night’s out.

The crew goes to a restaurant and makes small talk. Hannah acts all flirty with Ben. My advice to Ben is, don’t. While they’re having wine and deciding what to order, Tiffany calls Hannah “mom,” so Hannah calls her a trashbag. I’m not kidding. What a horrible human being. Tiffany is either too nice or drunk to say anything equally disgusting back. After dinner, they move on to a bar. They sit outside and Hannah keeps calling Tiffany a trashbag until Danny tells her to knock it off. Thank you. Tiffany says something about being tired and Hannah gets on her case because you shouldn’t complain about your job during off hours while you’re drinking. Hannah says Tiffany needs to take responsibility for what she signed up for. Both Ben and Bryan think Hannah is wasting her time trying to lecture someone who is drunk. Bryan tries to get in the middle and Hannah tells him to piss off. Hannah makes Tiffany cry, so I guess she feels successful now.

Danny is hitting on some girls and gets some numbers. Like he’s ever going to get together with anyone he met in Greece. Ben tells Tiffany he’s sorry she had to deal with Hannah’s crap on her night off. Ben thinks that stuff shouldn’t be done during off hours and especially not while you’re drinking. Another thank you. Ben likes Tiffany because she’s weird and smart. Hannah discusses Tiffany with Bryan. He tells her it’s the time to let loose, not the time for criticism. She tells him to stay in his lane and in his interview, he says she seems to have forgotten he’s the boss as first officer. Hannah gives him the finger and says he’s not going to get away with speaking to her like that. She tells him to do his managing the way he wants to and she’ll do hers the way she wants to. But you’re not managing, Blanche!

Next week, Danny brings girls on the boat, the yacht is chartered for a photo shoot, Danny hits on the models, and Danny cries. Lots of Danny.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we left, Brad had just walked in, wanting to talk to Alex, but discovered Randal there. Alex didn’t want Randal there, but that’s Brad’s usual bad timing. Randal says he was just there to see his son and he was just leaving. Randal says he’ll see Alex tomorrow in court and she tells him to get out. He says, see you, little Randal, to the baby with that stupid, sick smile on his face.

Alex asks Brad why he’s there and he says it’s obvious she wasn’t expecting him. She says he was supposed to call when he was coming to see the kids. He says he lied, but she wouldn’t know anything about lying. She says if he wants a fight, he’s going to fight by himself and Randal was just there to see his son. Brad says, so you admit it now, like it wasn’t obvious. I mean, really. Brad acts high and mighty, and Alex says she’s apologized a million times, but the only time Brad is happy is when he’s punishing her. Brad says he doesn’t know her anymore and she says that makes two of them. He says he’s been consistent and Alex is like, really? Moving in with Marcie is consistent? They spar a little more and she asks why he’s there. Brad says hearing her say that makes him realize he shouldn’t be and Alex is like, bye then.

Julius Sr.’s sidekick throws Julius up against the wall and says all he had to do was wait a day and his father would have died with dignity. Instead, he killed him. Julius says he’s the boss now and the sidekick works for him. Sidekick says Julius’s father wanted the will read immediately after his death and he’ll see him at the lawyer’s office.

Lushion goes to Kelly’s office. She apologizes for letting Natalie put his name on the loan papers, but he says it’s cool. She asks if he’s there on business or social and he says both. He can tell something is wrong and Kelly tells him about seeing a girl at Ramses’s house. Lushion asks if she asked who the girl was, and Kelly says no, she just left. Lushion says she shouldn’t play games and just ask if she has a question. Lushion asks how long before he and Natalie can move in and Kelly tells him 30-45 days. He says he’s anxious to move Natalie and their kids into the new place and Kelly is impressed with him calling the kids theirs when only one is really his. He asks if Ramses would rent to them until the sale. Kelly is annoyed that she has to go back and talk to Ramses so soon, but Lushion begs a little and she relents. He asks her not to tell Natalie.

Marcie comes home to Brad staring out the window. She says she told him to go home. Brad tells Marcie that Alex was there with Randal who was visiting his son. Brad says he’d never hurt the baby, but every day it would be a reminder. Marcie says the baby is innocent, but Brad says the baby would just trigger bad memories and on top of it, they’d have to share custody. Marcie tells him that he can do it if he tries. He says if moving in together was a mistake, just tell him and he’ll go. She says it’s a mistake and she wants him to leave. She says ever since they made love she’s regretted it because she craves him now, and she doesn’t want to be involved with him because it would mean Randal and Alex pushed them together. She doesn’t want them to have that power. Interesting.

Lushion gazes lovingly at Natalie while she’s working. She tells him she’s sorry about the disk and asks if he found it. He says no, but that’s not why he’s there. He says a friend at the hospital gave him some perspective. He tells her she’s beautiful and she asks if he wants lunch. He says no, he just came there to stare at her. He says he’s going to wear the kids out at the park so they can have an uninterrupted evening. They talk about the house and he says he never liked the idea of shacking up and asks her to marry him.

Lushion asks for everyone’s attention. He tells the entire room that he loves Natalie and wants to marry her. Then he asks her again and shows her a ring, while everyone stares at them. After he asks like seven times, she says yes. Everyone applauds.

It’s time for the reading of the will. Both Tilda and Julius’s mother are there and start to argue when Julius comes in. He asks why Tilda is there and the lawyer says his father wanted her there. He starts to read the will. It begins by him saying if anyone objects or contests to anything, they’ll be cut out. He puts on the video.

Julius Sr. says he’s of sound mind and all that. He leaves Tilda, the love of his life, the house and $25 million; his daughter with her gets the rest of his fortune. He says Julius tried to put a pillow over his face and killed him (oooh, he’s like Helena), and says his wife is no better and always coddled Julius. He says she’s the most selfish, vindictive bitch he’s ever met and Julius needs to go his own way. Julius smashes the TV screen. Dammit! I wanted to hear more. He gets in the lawyer’s face and the lawyer says he’s sorry. Julius is like, fine, and leaves with mommy. The lawyer tells Tilda, congratulations. She says thank you, but she’s crying.

Esperanza gets a call about Claudia at the station. She says she’s confused because when she called, she was told Claudia never worked there. Esperanza asks if Lushion checked on Claudia. He says she did and she’s clean. Esperanza says a supervisor from a previous job just called and says she did work there, after Esperanza was told she didn’t. Esperanza says something is wrong, and that Claudia doesn’t know anything about the system. Eddie rolls up and Esperanza explains the Claudia situation. Eddie says he’ll run her too.

Lushion makes a phone call so quiet, I have no idea what he said.

Marcie goes to a house where they’re doing some construction work. She asks the crew to make themselves scarce because she has a client coming. Randal walks in and she tells him to leave. Randal says he wants to talk to her and she screams for help. She says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Nice of those guys not to come back when she yelled. They couldn’t have possibly gotten that far. Randal says he’s going to make her life a living hell and she says he already has. He says she slept with that bastard and she says just like he did. Randal asks if it made her feel better and she says yes. He says she’s living with Brad now, and Marcie lies, saying they’re doing it every night. He suggests visiting and bringing Alex. He is so sickening. He goes on to say that he tried having a baby with Marcie and nothing happened, but it did with Alex. Marcie says she has a client coming and, no surprise, Randal says he’s the one who set up the appointment. He says he hasn’t begun to fight and she tells him to watch out because she has a serious mean streak. She smacks his face with the back of her hand and walks out. He says he can’t wait.

Travis is on Kelly’s porch, like I haven’t had enough of sickening men tonight. He says she lured him into her house and had sex with him, she didn’t return his calls, and now he caught her with someone else. She says he can’t “catch” her because there’s nothing between them. She tells him to go home. She says he’s the one who left her to get engaged to someone else, and sometimes the one who gets hurt deserves it. She tells him to get lost and he grabs her. She says he’s hurting her and he gets all nasty and way too close and weird. Where is Ramses when she needs him? Finally, he lets her go and leaves. I thought he was just odd before, now I think he’s seriously disturbed.

Steve asks Eddie what he’s doing and says he’ll be in trouble if the captain catches him in the files. Eddie says his name is Edward, “which stands for I don’t give a damn.” Okay… Steve tells him Julius Sr. died.

Lushion motions to Claudia to meet him in the locker room. He tells her Eddie is running her file and he talked to Larry. She thanks him and gives him a hug. In the timing only a soap opera can have, Esperanza walks in. Claudia jets and Esperanza insists they were kissing. Lushion says they were talking, and he was giving Claudia some advice. (Like they always say, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.) She asks if Eddie is rubbing off on him and says to stay away from Claudia or she’ll talk to Natalie. Lushion says he’s not Eddie, and he doesn’t lie and cheat. She says he sneaks around and she’s watching him.

Julius is back at the lawyer’s office. The lawyer says he’s sorry again, but there’s nothing he can do. Julius says he wants to know who his sister is and where she is. Julius, who is another creep, says what happens if she dies. The lawyer says everything goes to him, although I would think it’s Tilda. The lawyer says if there’s anything suspicious about the sister’s death, he doesn’t get anything. The only way he gets anything is if she dies from natural causes.

Julius stabs the lawyer through both hands, pinning his hands to his desk. The lawyer spills and says the sister’s name is Claudia. Julius makes him talk to Tilda on the phone (obviously, Julius dials) and says Claudia needs to come in to sign something. Tilda says she doesn’t deal with her daughter, but she works at the police station. I swear. Julius and Randal must be related. They have the same crazy look. Let me revise that. Julius, Randal, Eddie and now Travis must be related.

Anyway, DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Next week, Eddie hears there’s an undercover cop at the station, Alex begs Randal to stop (good luck with that), and Lushion wants info from Oliver.

May 9, 2016 — GH, the Charm of the South & the Wives of Dallas

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason comes to and asks if anyone is hurt. He sees the police van driver is out cold, but his phone is broken. He checks for a pulse, but the driver is dead. He keeps yelling if there’s anybody there. He sees Dante unconscious and pinned under the van. All of a sudden Robin is there and says Jason has to save him. I had to think for a second, wondering if she had died, but she only moved to Berkeley (I’m sitting on myself not to make a joke here), so I guess Jason is imagining this.

Jason asks Robin what she’s doing there and she says she’s not really there. He says he must be hallucinating, but she says she’s there to tell him what he already knows.

Danny is off visiting the Quartermaine’s new puppy, Annabelle II. Sam tells Michael that Monica said they were only going to be ten minutes, but it’s been a while. She wants Danny to enjoy himself though.

Jason asks if he’s unconscious and Robin tells him don’t be stupid. Not really, but close. He says the driver is dead and the motorcycle isn’t operational. Even if it was, since he’s talking to someone who’s not there, he says it’s highly doubtful he can drive. He asks Robin what to do and she says she could never tell him what to do, but he should do what he thinks is right. So what good is she?

He’s afraid to move Dante, but if he doesn’t, the flipped van could come down on him. Robin asks what he would want were he in Dante’s position. Jason says he’d want to get out of there. He adds he has a family now and doesn’t want to risk getting hurt himself. Robin tells him that sometimes it’s okay to take a risk. He examines Dante and decides he needs to get him out.

Jason tries to wake Dante, but nothing happens. He checks out the logistics of the van. Carly pops into the picture. She says a few more inches, and he wouldn’t be able to get Dante out at all and to be grateful for what he has. He says she must be there to tell him about all the near misses he’s had.

Sam and Michael talk about Jason. Michael says he seemed the way he used to be, but they’re not connecting. Sam says she understands. She tried telling Jason stories about the past, but he doesn’t connect with them.

Carly tells Jason he has to move the van without crushing Dante. He tells Carly that his head is pounding so badly he can’t see straight. She says quitting is a bad habit you can get addicted to. He says she’s never quit anything and she says that’s because she has him. He says he must have hit his head and Carly says if he says so. She adds that’s what she says when she’s lying to herself. (Huh?)

Sam asks Michael why he was talking to Carrrlos. Michael says it doesn’t matter because Jason talked him out of it. She says she realizes the memories she had with Jason are her memories now, but not his.

Jason takes the driver out of the van. Carly wonders what happened and Jason says it looks like a prisoner transport van, but the prisoner is probably running. Jason gets in the van. Carly asks what he’s waiting for and he says he has to check the fuel line first. No good. It’s leaking.

Sam says Jason is alive and well, and she’s being ridiculous. Michael says you can be grateful for what’s happening now and still miss the past things. She says since Helena cursed Sam on her death bed, she’s felt weird. She remembers Helena cursed her parents as well and they’ve had nothing but misery lately.

Jason wonders where the jack is. Helena appears and says it would be unwise to have one in a prisoner transport van. Helena says he doesn’t remember anything and never will, and he’ll never remember what happened to Jake on Cassadine Island. She says lifting the van is outside of his skill set. She says he’s on a deserted road with nothing to improvise with. Guess again, Helena. Jason grabs a street sign and he says he can lift the van with that. Helena says or cause Dante to get crushed. She tells him he can’t succeed, but conditioning won’t allow him to give up.

Sam goes through the stuff that’s happened since Helena died — like it’s any different from any other time on GH. They talk about Julian. She says she loves her father, but knows the score, and Alexis seems to be going along with it. Michael says he thinks Alexis is about to snap.

Helena tells Jason his head hurts because he’s trying to remember. She says she oversaw his conditioning and knows him better than he knows himself. She tells him to ride away and forget Port Charles and go back to his original mission. Sam is there and says he can beat Helena; she doesn’t control him anymore.

Helena says bravo, he’s conjured up a last memory of Sam before he loses the memories forever. She says he’s telling himself it can’t get worse, but it can and it will.

Michael asks Sam if she thinks she’s going to lose Jason. She says no, and he’s not interested in working for Sonny anymore. She says the only reason Julian stood a chance is because of her, Alexis and Danny. Michael says his father will avoid collateral damage, but he can’t let this go on forever. Sam says maybe Carrrlos will flip on Julian.

Helena says that Jason will sleep and when he wakes up, his memory will be wiped clean. He promises that he’ll fight to the last second and she tells him to suit himself. He tells Sam he wants to spend the time he has left with her.

Sam believes that Julian is a better man with Alexis and Michael says Jason is a better man with Sam.

Sam tells Jason he broke Helena’s conditioning before and he can do it again. He tells Sam he loves her, and says how strong and fearless she is. He says he’s glad their son has her for a mother. He says he can’t believe he’s going to lose his memories of her.

Michael says even when Jason was with Elizabeth, it was like he was fighting himself because he didn’t belong there. Sam wonders if it’s that simple, that two people just belong together. Michael says not so simple, some people never find that person, but she and Jason did.

Jason goes back to Dante. The bleeding is getting worse and Sam tells him to move the van. He uses the street sign as a lever and passes out. Now the fuel line is leaking like crazy. What the blip happened to Nathan? If the driver is dead and Dante is half-dead, how did Nathan and Carrrlos both get out and get away so quickly? For a moment, I actually got this show mixed up with Once Upon A Time, since I watch way too much TV.

Sonny appears, telling Jason to help his son. Jason goes to the bike. He says he’s leaving and Sonny asks if it’s because Helena told him to. Jason says Helena doesn’t control him, he makes his own choices. Sonny says Jason is there because he’s fighting Helena and he’s there to help Jason take his life back. Jason says his life was never his own, it was Helena’s, Elizabeth’s, Sam’s, and mostly Sonny’s. Sonny asks if he’s just a puppet. Jason says they were friends.

Danny comes back. He says don’t tell Aunt Tracy that Annabelle II peed in her closet. Michael suggests they do their exploring outside until the puppy is housebroken. Michael leaves to run puppy interference. Sam asks where his daddy is.

Jason remembers how he and Sonny met. He says Sonny never talked down to him, always treated him with respect, and never pressured him. He says Sonny taught him that everything has consequences and you’re responsible for your own life. If you don’t own it, you become a victim of your own life. He talks about how Sonny was never a victim even in his darkest time. Jason makes another try at moving the van.

Danny asks why daddy doesn’t live with them. Sam says they’re not there yet, but they’re getting there. She says just be grateful daddy is with them and nothing will take him away again.

Jason finally gets the van to move a little, but sparks start happening from undeneath. I can’t even figure out how Dante ended up there. Was the driver the only one wearing a seat belt? And how come he died? This isn’t a very good promotion for wearing them.

Sam tucks Danny in. He asks her to sing for him and she says he’s the only person in the world who likes hearing her sing. Okay, let’s have it. Sam sings a lullaby and it’s not that bad.

As she sings, Jason pulls Dante away from the van and it explodes.

This was a really good episode. It took place in only two settings and was very nicely edited. It was great to see Helena and Robin again too. I’m telling you, Helena will never die.

Tomorrow, Nathan calls for help, Carrrlos is on the run, and Anna asks Griff if he was shot.

Southern Charm

Ew! Landon! I spent all week forgetting about her.

Craig and Naomie are snug in their new home. Craig says he doesn’t want the one thing he messes up to be Naomie. He’s gotten her a ring, so she can have a piece of jewelry that “connects” them. He pretends he wants her to help him pick out a watch and brings out a watch jewelry box with the ring in the middle. Cute. He’s expecting to be made head of the bourbon division by JD. He thinks if you work hard, everything else will fall into place. Well, sometimes.

Cameran is picking Shep up for their first listing appointment. He’s just making breakfast at one o’clock and even though his birthday party the night before was a dry night, she’s worried he went out drinking afterward. Please tell me why she picked the day after his birthday to make this appointment?

Shep asks Cameran if Kathryn called her and he practically has to drag the information out of her. He says it’s easy to take the high road, but Cameran says her life is busy enough without adding Kathryn to it.

Kathryn feels discouraged because everyone is rebuffing her, and she thinks she should reconsider who she’s reaching out to. She calls Elizabeth who I’m not sure is the next best choice. She says they were close at one time and when she broke up with Thomas (bleh), she distanced herself because Elizabeth’s husband, JD, is Thomas’s best friend. She tells Elizabeth that she misses talking to her and wants to get together.

Cameran isn’t sure that Shep understands that being her “apprentice” is actual work. They look at the house, a “quintessential historical Southern mansion.” It’s absolutely beautiful. Shep thinks real estate isn’t brain surgery and is more personality driven, which he has down. I think he’s right. They discuss the house while sitting on the elliptical porch. Cameran gets annoyed because Shep is getting too involved. If it wasn’t for the heat, I’d probably love Charleston. At least the architecture.

Landon’s dad calls her. She says that she’s taking his advice and concentrating on one idea. We’ll see if this lasts more than five minutes. She has a friend in New York who’s an Internet entrepreneur and he’s agreed to meet with her.

JD asks Craig for a hotel update. He says the demolition work is completed. In his interview, Craig says work on the hotel isn’t exactly stimulating. JD says he wants to do a bourbon tasting and needs Craig to come up with a list of invitees and send out emails. He says he’s also bringing Dani in, since she has 15 years experience in the liquor business. Craig says he wants their bourbon to be something that non-bourbon drinkers will drink but bourbon drinkers will respect. JD says he doesn’t need him to invent the wheel (isn’t that reinvent?), just put air in the tires.

Kathryn visits Elizabeth. Elizabeth tells the kids that Kathryn is pregnant and one them asks Kathryn how she got a baby in there. Elizabeth says they’ll talk about that later. Ha-ha! Elizabeth asks Kathryn if something is going on she’s not aware of, since Kathryn hasn’t answered any of her calls or texts for months. She also brings up the polo match debacle. Kathryn says she was going through a phase where she cut everyone out, but she didn’t know who she could be safe around. Elizabeth says as Kensie’s godmother, she would never turn her back on Kathryn, and that’s a promise. Touching moment. Kathryn apologizes and starts to cry. Elizabeth says she wants their kids to grow up together.

Commercial break with important information, Odd Mom Out starts Monday, June 20 @ 10 pm. Since I don’t have kids (not two-legged ones anyway), I didn’t think I’d relate to this show, but it’s hysterically funny and very New York-ish. I was pleasantly surprised.

Thomas (bleh) shows Shep around his new house. Shep says Thomas is interesting because you never know what you’re going to get, but when he’s in a good mood, he’s a barrel of laughs. I have yet to see this. Shep asks what’s been up since the Flamingo Party.

Thomas tells him about talking to Kathryn and getting a barrage of anger about Shep’s birthday party. Shep says Landon claims she invited Kathryn, but he doesn’t really know. Thomas wants Kathryn to be calm for the baby’s sake, but Shep thinks he’s being melodramatic.

Landon goes to the meeting with Lockhart in the city. She says he’s head of a media conglomerate and they cover a lot of things except for travel. It’s too bad she doesn’t focus on that when she pitches her idea. He wants the idea in a couple of sentences, however, she can’t even give him two complete sentences. He says it sounds like stuff that’s already out there. He asks what kind of a voice she wants it to have and tells her to create a prototype that he could give her feedback about. In her interview she says that she’s always seen herself as very successful, and thinks her enthusiasm alone will propel her ahead, but she doesn’t even know what a prototype is. Did this girl graduate high school?

Cameran, Whitney and Shep meet for drinks. Shep just got a text from Craig, who’s concerned that they won’t show for the bourbon tasting. Shep invites them on an Appalachian Mountain excursion. His parents have a house there. Cameran asks what they would do, but she and Whitney reject anything outdoorsy. Shep wants to invite Kathryn, but Cameran thinks it’s asking for trouble. She says if Landon is going to be there, there’s going to be tension. Whitney says he wishes Kathryn the best, but doesn’t want to be around her. Whitney mentions that Shep said he wants to be nice to Kathryn because he doesn’t want any grief and Shep adds that he also slept with her. So did Whitney, although he just laughs.

JD and Craig check out the bourbon place. JD says Gentry bourbon is in his family’s blood. They’re shown mock-ups of bottles and the barrels. Craig is excited about being on the ground floor of what he thinks is going to be a successful company. He’s impressed with the bourbon warehouse or whatever you call it. Distillery? JD is kind of annoyed at all the questions Craig is asksing.

Everyone shows up for bourbon tasting. Craig goes on about running a bourbon company and Shep thinks he’s getting ahead of himself and that the “new” Craig is alarmingly strange. JD tells Elizabeth that Craig already wants to run everything which is typical.

The tasting commences. They have four different sample batches and are looking for input. The woman telling them about the bourbon tells them not to swill it down, but sip at it and actually taste it. JD puts Dani in charge, which is kind of mean to Craig. Dani instructs them to smell it first. Whitney says the first one has the bouquet of napalm.

Craig asks Dani what the difference between bourbons is and Whitney thinks that’s probably one of the basics he should know. Dani acts like a snotrag, and like she can’t be bothered to teach him anything. Craig steps away and Shep says he’s proud of him. Craig says he thought he was more a part of it than he is and feels slighted. Shep tells him to find a way he can contribute and go with it.

JD asks Dani to be his VP, and she says she just got out of the business. For a reason, whatever that means. JD says someone is going to do it and it’s not going to be Craig. In his interview, JD says that if Craig thinks he’s going to be running the bourbon division, they have an issue.

Craig talks to Dani who makes stupid faces at him. JD tells her to let him speak to Craig alone. JD tells Craig he’s just getting into the business himself and it’s his family’s name on the bottle. He doesn’t feel Craig has enough knowledge to lead a bourbon division and asks if he led anyone to believe that.

Pictures are taken, everyone departs and everything is packed up. JD tells Craig not to let things get to him. Craig tells Naomie that JD told him he’s not ready yet to be a part of the bourbon division. She says she’s about to cry and feels confused. Geez, just a bit of an overreaction. He says they’ll talk later.

This season, more polo, a disco night, a bromance, a baby, Craig finds out more about Kathryn and Whitney, another dinner party from hell, and Landon and Kathryn have it out.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

BTW, when Leeanne was on Watch What Happens LiveAndy Cohen did ask her about all that blush she has going on, and she had no answer, but had obviously toned it down since filming.

We go back to Leeanne throwing her drink and calling Brandi trash. She stomps off and Stephanie says she’s crazy.

Tiffany follows her, as well as the camera crew. Tiffany calls her to come back and Leeanne gives her the finger. She tells Tiffany she’s done and Tiffany tells her not to talk to her like that. Leeanne insists Tiffany coordinated the brawl that she had all on her own. Tiffany shoves her and says she has her back and she always takes up for her. She says she’s constantly telling people they just don’t know Leeanne and that she has a big heart.

Meanwhile, inside Stephanie is crying and worried about her charities and that Leeanne will trash her husband’s business. I honestly think that Stephanie believes Leeanne has more power than she does. Brandi tells her Leeanne is just pissed that someone called her out. Cary gives an analogy of Stephanie being a wounded baby gazelle that Leeanne pounced on.

Leeanne goes apesh*t on the camera and nearly gets run over by a trolly car that she smacks. Then she takes her shoes off and walks into traffic. Tiffany says she’s known Leeanne for 25 years and Leeanne was the reason she came back to Dallas, but she can’t continue to live her life like this.

She goes back in and tells Marie about what happened outside. Cary says the best thing to do is take the high road and that was the low road. She compares Leeanne to her two-year-old and says maybe she needs a time out. Tiffany gives a blanket apology to everyone for starting the mess.

It’s Stephanie’s anniversary and her husband, Travis, is taking her out for a surprise. She talks about how she cried all night and tells him about how she never felt attacked like that. If I had been her, I would have smacked Leeanne in the face. She feels like she’s let her family down, but Travis just laughs and says not to let Leeanne get to her.

Leeanne is loving on her dogs, but even Hitler did that. Mark asks how she’s doing and if she called Tiffany. Leeanne says neither one of them are ready to talk yet. He says that when they fight, Leeanne avoids things, but Leeanne says they both have to process what happened.

Tiffany says she’s carrying around her phone and doesn’t know whether to call or not. Aaron tells her to give it a few days and let the dust settle, but Tiffany says they have a clothing drive coming up.

Leeanne says Tiffany should have intervened between her and Brandi. She says she has huge insecurities from her childhood. Please. Like we all don’t.

Brandi’s grandfather is coming for a visit. She says she couldn’t care less about Leeanne. She’s never met him because her mother had to choose sides in her parents’ divorce. Her mother is pretty excited as well.

Leeanne goes to the clothing drive, although she’d rather be home in bed nursing her wounds. She knows if Tiffany shows up, they’ll be respectful because it’s a Southern thing. (Landon didn’t get the memo.) Leeanne acts overly attentive to the other people. Tiffany arrives and is surprised that Leeanne is doesn’t talk to her at all. Cary arrives next with some clothing. She wants to just drop and go. Leeanne says she was hurt and she doesn’t do hurt because of being abandoned in her childhood. How old is this chick? There comes a time when you have to stop using your childhood as an excuse to be an a-hole. Get some therapy, kay?

Travis and Stephanie go out in the gold Rolls Royce that they rode in at their wedding. When it came up for sale, Travis bought it. I’m liking Travis more each time I see him.

Tiffany says when she moved to LA, she and Leeanne didn’t speak for two years because Leeanne felt abandoned. Holy. That is too ridiculous for words. Tiffany calls her and leaves a message. If I was in her position, I’d join the ranks of those who abandoned Leeanne. Seriously, she is way too old for this kind of behavior.

Travis drives to an upscale jewelry store and tells her to pick something out. She tries on a diamond bracelet. Stephanie says Travis spoils her and will buy her anything to make her happy. Go, Travis! She picks a diamond cuff out and Stephanie says she’s forgotten all about Leeanne. Travis swears she had the instinct to pick out the most expensive one. The bracelet is $55K, and they save the $2.5 million ring she tries on for another time. I wonder if they go out to dinner afterward or just go home and get busy.

Cary tells Mark about how Leeanne and Tiffany didn’t talk to one another at the clothing drive. Mark can’t wait to get away for vacation. Tiffany says they want to eventually get a house in Switzerland that they can spend summers at.

Brandi’s grandfather, John, arrives with his wife, Carol. Brandi introduces the kids and one tries to escape. They sit down for lunch and Brandi says the blessing. She gets all emotional.

To make up for the champagne Cary got on her dress when Leeanne threw the glass, Mark gets her a fabulous Roberto Cavalli dress. She says she’ll stand by Leeanne at all the parties now.

Brandi and John sit on the patio. She says she had a misconception of him growing up and she’s sorry for that. He says that’s all behind them. There are bobcats milling about and we hear them.

Cary gives Mark some Botox so he doesn’t look so mad at her when he’s mad at her. Yikes! So this is what it’s like to be super rich. Summers in Switzerland and Botox in your fridge.

Brandi comes over to Stephanie’s place. Stephanie tells her about the bracelet. Brandi feels like Bryan missed out in the romantic department. Stephanie asks how the visit with her grandfather is going. Brandi says Bryan is flying in between whatever it is he does so they can meet. Brandi’s grandfather was a pro football player back in the day and she thinks they’d get along really well.

Tiffany is meeting with Leeanne. Aaron asks what she’s going to say, but she doesn’t have a plan other than an apology for screaming at her. Aaron wonders why everyone can’t just get along, because he’s a guy, and tells her it will be fine.

Leeanne apologizes before she even sits down. She says she shouldn’t have questioned Tiffany having her back and Tiffany apologizes for yelling. To her credit, Leeanne says she deserved it. She says she got angry like that because she was going to start crying. In her interview, Leeanne says for a long time, she and Tiffany were all they had. I still think she needs therapy.

The entire family has come to Brandi’s for a barbecue. Stephanie arrives with her kids saying Travis will be there shortly. Brandi says growing up, they didn’t have family parties. Stephanie calls Travis who is having a drink with Bryan and says they’ll be there in five minutes. Brandi is a little pissed because she thinks Travis should have made the barbecue a priority.

Bryan and Travis arrive. Brandi is annoyed because she planned the party around his business trips and he’s late and drunk. He’s also acting like he can’t be bothered. Brandi says he puts up a wall a lot of the time and it’s disappointing. He goes to push one of the kids on the swing. Stepahanie says it was abig moment in Brandi’s life and Bryan ignored it

Next time, Travis hires a decorator, Mark takes photos of Cary, Leeanne confronts Marie, and Brandi confronts Bryan (who, no surprise, acts like a d-bag)

May 4, 2016 — GH, Little Reunion & Double the NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie is looking for Nathan at the hospital. The nurse at reception suggests she ask Jason where he is, since she saw Jason with some cops.

Nathan sees Griff in the hospital locker-room. He asks Griff if he’s okay and says it looks like it hurt. He adds that Griff has a specific kind of scar and he knows how Griff got it.

Sam is concerned about Alexis being suspected of murder. Jason tells Sam that Anna only accused her to get at Julian and asks if she thinks Julian did it. She asks Jason if he isn’t thinking the same thing.

Dante sees Anna at the station and says he thinks Alexis is up to her neck in it.

While looking for Nicholas, Elizabeth is startled by Franco at Windemere.

Griff says he wishes he had an epic gun battle story, but it was more like being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nathan asks who shot him and why.

The nurse tells Maxie to check the locker-room.

Sam says Julian hasn’t changed and only told Alexis what she wanted to hear. Jason wants to get involved, but she tells him to stay away and go talk to Elizabeth about Franco.

Elizabeth wonders how Franco got in there. Franco says he learned the catacombs when his mother was in a crazy phase. He tells Elizabeth he wanted to warn her about a storm headed her way — Hurricane Jason.

Molly is doing laundry. She’s not happy about Julian, and Kristina says she thought Molly put her Julian issues to rest. Molly says she did until Alexis decided to defend Carrrlos. Kristina says Alexis has totally lost her way and sold out.

Alexis says if she gets arrested, Julian can call Diane, but she won’t be. Anna asks Dante if she can sit in on the interrogation. She wants to see how Julian reacts. Julian tells Alexis that Hale’s death was a tragic accident. Dante comes in with Anna and Julian says he’s not going anywhere. Anna says that’s because the two of them are a team, right?

Kristina tells Molly that she’d prefer Alexis wasn’t involved with Carrrlos, but Molly isn’t being fair. Molly says there’s no excuse to advocate murder; no one is that good in bed. She says Alexis isn’t in love with Julian, but with the idea that he’s in love with her. She says soon they won’t recognize Alexis and it won’t be long before she doesn’t even recognize herself.

Alexis tells Dante about her encounter with Hale. She says she was hoping to discover inconsistencies in his statement, but after a couple of minutes, he got agitated and left. She says the next time she saw him was in the parking garage.

Maxie wants an update from Sam on the Claudette investigation. Sam has Claudette’s maiden name and old address in Hell’s Kitchen. (That would be in Manhattan, not Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant.) Sam has to jet and says they’ll catch up later.

Griff says the incident wasn’t reported and that it was a misunderstanding. He says he did as much to contribute to the situation as the person who shot him and he’s sure they feel badly about it. Nathan says stuff happens and Maxie enters the locker-room.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jason is going to level some accusations against him and he wants her to hear about it from him first. He starts with telling her about the puppy. Elizabeth says he should always check with the parents first and he says he gets that. He tells her about breaking up with Nina and how he drew the ugly picture of her. He says that Jason and Sam made a bigger deal about it than it is, and that he totally screwed up and the breakup is on him. Elizabeth says the bright side is that he’s drawing again and he’s still helping people, especially Jake. Enter Jason, who will no doubt change that.

Anna says Alexis’s account doesn’t address her opportunity. Alexis says hasn’t Anna been charged in another case, and Dante says she still works there. Julian says there’s no proof to suggest Alexis did anything. Dante says they still have to hear from forensics. His phone rings and Dante leaves. Anna asks if Alexis can account for her actions. Alexis says she was with Julian, who corroborates this. Anna asks if there’s anyone who can vouch for that who’s not involved. Julian says Alexis would never kill someone to protect Carrrlos and Anna says no, but she would to protect Julian.

Kristina tells Molly that getting involved won’t change anything, it will just upset the fragile peace she has with her parents. And besides, she has to get ready for her date.

Griff tells Maxie and Nathan to enjoy their evening and leaves. Maxie wonders why he left so quickly and Nathan says it’s probably his fault for prying about Griff’s scar. Nathan says the way Griff was talking about it, it was like he felt he deserved it.

NuNurse starts talking to Griff about the Hale thing and Alexis’s involvement. Sam comes by and tells her she’s talking about Sam’s parents and to butt out. NuNurse leaves. Sam tells Griff a little about the situation and he says his father was also a mobster.

Franco says Jason runs to Elizabeth like a playground tattletale. Ha-ha! He does! Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around his son. He says that Franco said Elizabeth wouldn’t let that happen because they’re so close. Franco says Jason is twisting his words and Elizabeth says maybe Franco should go.

Molly asks Kristina to tell her about the date. Kristina says her date’s name is Aaron, but Molly thinks she means Erin. There’s a knock at the door. Molly answers and it’s a guy looking for Kristina. Kristina says this is her date.

Franco asks Elizabeth if she’s going to let Jason dictate her life now and if it wasn’t for Jake, Jason wouldn’t give her the time of day. She asks Franco to leave. Jason tells Elizabeth that Franco is dangerous. Elizabeth says he’s made more progress with Jake than anyone else and she doesn’t see it that way.

Griff says eventually the mob cost his father his life and hopes Sam’s father fares better. Sam wonders if they’ve met before. Griff says he’s been told he bears a resemblance to his father, Duke Lavery.

Anna brings up Alexis pushing Alcazar off the balcony, and Alexis says she was of diminished capacity at the time. Anna asks if she was of diminished capacity when she killed Kristina’s boyfriend, Kiefer, by running him over. Alexis says it was deemed an accident. Anna says Hale had been clean for a year, and they’re supposed to believe he overdosed just after Alexis was harassing him? Alexis says believe what the evidence says. Anna says one death is an accident, but three is a pattern. Julian tries to interject, and Anna says if Alexis didn’t kill Hale, who did? Dante comes back and Anna asks if it was an overdose or murder.

Molly says Kristina didn’t tell her that her date was…such a cute guy. Aaron comes in and Kristina tells Molly to behave.

Maxie tells Nathan they should mind their own business and he asks if she’s feeling okay. She says normally, she would tell him to leave it alone and badger Griff herself, but they have a wedding to plan and she doesn’t want him distracted. Nathan is still concerned though.

Sam says she didn’t know Duke had kids, and Griff said he just found out. Sam tells him her father is Julian.

Dante wants to talk to Anna outside. He tells her the only prints on the needle were Hale’s and they have to let Alexis and Julian go. He tells them not to leave town. Anna says Alexis is married to the man who ordered Carrrlos to kill Duke. She asks if she’s Julian’s stooge or his accomplice. They leave. Dante tells Anna he understands, but they have no proof. Anna is worried Carrrlos is going to walk.

Griff tells Sam whatever happened with their fathers is between their fathers. Sam says she thought Duke was a good guy. Griff says he’s heard that. He goes back to work.

Jason tells Elizabeth she can’t trust Franco She says maybe Franco isn’t the most honest guy, but she doesn’t think he’s the bad guy Jason thinks he is. Jason says when it comes to their son, they should err on the side of caution.

Kristina comes back downstairs and thinks Molly scared Aaron off, but he’s just in the bathroom. When he comes back, Molly tells them not to do anything she wouldn’t do and leaves. Kristina says she hears Aaron is a knitter. He says something tells him there’s more to Kristina than meets the eye too.

Maxie wonders if Nathan has to go back to the station and he says yes. She makes him promise to leave Griff alone. She says everyone has a past, even Nathan.

Anna looks at a picture of Duke, lamenting how she thought she could get justice and make it right, but she failed. The doorbell rings. It’s Griff.

NuNurse, whose name is Amy (I wonder if this is a nod to the original Amy, Shell Kepler, who sadly passed away many years ago), tells Franco he’s looking good. He asks for a hard copy of his schedule. She has to make an alteration though. Elizabeth is discontinuing Jake’s art therapy. Amy says look at the bright side, more time for him and his girlfriend. Ouch!

Jason tells Elizabeth she made the right decision. She says Jake is not going to be happy. Jason says if he wants art therapy, they can find someone else. He says they’ll tell Jake together tomorrow. He leaves after patting her on the leg like she’s a linebacker. It’s that friend pat people do when they want to make sure you know they’re not interested in you that way.

Sam asks Dante if Alexis is at the station. He tells her that Alexis and Julian left. Sam asks about Hale and Dante says it was an overdose. She asks if he thinks Alexis did it and he says no, but he can’t say the same for Julian.

Julian asks if he can get Alexis anything and she says some answers, like to Anna’s question. She tells him don’t equivocate, evade, or lie, just tell her the truth. Did he order the witness murdered?

Tomorrow, Kristina has something to tell Sonny, Alexis questions Julian, and Finn asks Carly why she needs to see him.

Little Women: LA — The Reunion, Part Two

There’s a mini free-for-all that Kevin Frazier is trying to calm. They go to break. Matt and Briana decide they’re not staying if his texts are going to be read. Kevin says Matt should stay and take his medicine. One of the producers says they won’t include the more disgusting ones. Why? Inquiring minds want to know. Kevin says most are so vulgar, they can’t even show them. Alrighty then.

They read some phony nonsense stuff where he’s lying to women about his relationship. Kevin asks why things escalated and got as graphic as they did. This is such a stupid question, I can’t even. It’s basically a classic case of another guy going wild with other women using technology because he can.

Briana says she doesn’t defend or excuse anything, and it’s made her question her worth. Jasmine says a baby being raised by “that man” is not good. Terra wonders how many times she’s going to forgive him. Kevin asks if Matt is afraid he’ll be cut out of his son’s life. Matt says of course. He says either he’ll stop his behavior or Terra will turn out to be right.

Oh boy! Next week, there’s a special episode on Matt and Briana’s relationship because we haven’t gotten enough. We get a sneak peek. It’s all just sad, especially since she’s pregnant.

Jasmine is pissed because she gave Matt a chance and she wants the best for Briana. She says she is proud of Briana for defending herself. Tonya says they’re all upset and Briana says this is her life they’re talking about and she’s in pain. She says they doubt her before she has a chance to even say anything. Terra talks about them trying to warn her. No point in rubbing it in. Briana says it seems like they’re saying “I told you so.” Tonya says that’s not it; they’re just tired of hearing the lies.

Kevin asks who Briana thinks is there for her. She says Christy has been there, but the others seems to just give lip service to it. Jasmine is hurt and I don’t blame her. Briana admits Jasmine has also had her back. Kevin is like, quit the attack mode and think of something helpful.

Elena thinks they sholdn’t pressure Briana to break up with Matt and that if she has love for him in her heart, she has the right to work on it. Kevin asks Briana if she believes Matt is capable of faithfulness. She says she wants to, but he hasn’t proven that when times get tough.

Kevin asks Matt if he has anything to say before he goes. He thanks Elena, Jasmine and Christy for being supportive and says he has nothing for the other two. Exit Matt.

We flash back to Terra and Christy’s relationship and how it had improved until the ice tea incident. (Guns N’ Roses‘ sequel to The Spaghetti Incident.) Kevin goes over what happened and it sure sounds like Christy started it. Terra says it took a lot for her to become friends with Christy again and it hurt her to find out Christy was lying. She says the only thing she shouldn’t have done was throw the drink. Christy says it upset he to hear that Terra and Tonya said she tried to force them to come to Mexico. Three angles of unedited video happens. I swear it looks like their almost laughing during this altercation though. It’s all fun and games until someone goes home in a cone.

Christy and Terra argue about what happened and who started it, even though we saw more aspects of this than a Jets game. Elena interjects that Christy has changed her story. Kevin asks if she really had a concussion. She says yes, and Terra asks if anyone has seen the test result. Christy says she gave it to production. So let’s see it. Oh, okay, Kevin glosses over that one.

Terra says by filing the police report, Christy will never be her friend again. She says Christy totally messed with her home life and her work life. I kind of don’t blame her on this one. Yeah, no one should be throwing anything at anyone else, but seriously, it didn’t look like anything happened except Christy’s hat getting grazed, we still didn’t see any proof, and Christy should have settled it between them — not in court or in the court of public opinion, otherwise known as TMZ and Instagram.

Special guest, Dawn, arrives. Kevin says she was instrumental in Christy filing charges. Dawn is the cranky paralegal from Little Women: NY. Dawn says since Christy went to the hospital, it was definitely assault. Christy said Dawn told her she had to do something because she had a concussion. I guess settling it between themselves was out of the question. Kevin asks why she didn’t bring the hat, which she insists is mesh, and Christy says her lawyer told her not to. Kevin asks if that means there will be a pending case.

Terra says Christy threw the first punch, I mean, glass. Everyone starts talking at once and Kevin tells everyone to shut up. He says they can play the video again. Oh man, it’s so obvious that the cup only skimmed the top of the hat; it didn’t even move the hat. Kevin says Christy clearly threw the first cup.

Kevin asks if Dawn’s opinion is changed after seeing the video. Kevin calls it an alleged concussion and Christy gets annoyed. She tells him to call the hospital and mumbles about how she should have brought the report. Well, yeah. Kevin tries to get them to shut up.

Dawn says it’s not the first time Terra has exhibited this behavior. She says that when Terra was in New York, she chucked a beer bottle at her. I’ve wanted to chuck a beer bottle at Dawn since we first met her.

We get a scene from the upcoming Little Women: NY from when Terra visits. Terra has a great haircut and Lila gets in her face, insults her and tells her to get out of her apartment. We’ve been seeing a smidgen of this on the commercials. Kevin asks why she threw a bottle. Terra says Jason had invited her over and immediately Lila told her to leave since she’s unstable, but she wasn’t assaulting anyone, and she just threw it at the door.

Kevin asks who called TMZ about the ice tea incident. Christy says they showed up at the hospital. Kevin asks Dawn if she called and she says no. He asks Terra the same question, which is really stupid, since it made her look bad, which is exactly what she says. She says every time there was something in the press, Christy’s was the name in the headline. Dawn says physical violence is always unacceptable. Like we haven’t seen some nasty stuff from her. Terra says the charges have been deemed irrelevant by the police and the DA dropped the charges. Kevin tries to go to break, but no one will stop talking.

He asks for any final words from Dawn. She says everyone is amazing, but there’s no reason for physical violence between little people. So, is it okay for average sized people?

The men join the group, but Joe had to leave and tend to Penny. Kevin says he and Todd stood by their wives during the fray. Terra says it had a big impact on their family and there’s still no proof. Kevin asks Todd if he thinks filing a police report was necessary. Todd is like, duh…I dunno, but concurs that Christy had a concussion. Terra says Christy lied just the way she always does. Christy asks why she cares and Terra says because Christy messed with her life.

Terra makes Christy produce her EpiPen to prove she has allergies. <snort> Todd says he has no issues with Joe and that pisses Christy off. Kevin asks if there’s any coming back, but it looks highly doubtful. Kevin says this will have to be settled next season.

Kevin gets nosy about Jasmine having another child, since everyone else is pregnant. Preston says he’s excited about the twins. Kevin says several of them received calls from Matt and asks what that was about. Chris says Matt just talked about his past and how it affected what he’s done. Preston says his main concern has always been Briana and Matt has some deep issues. Todd says hopefully he gets help. Kevin asks if they should stay together.

Chris says Matt needs to get help before they can move on. Todd says it’s a grey area and he can’t honestly answer the question. Preston doesn’t want to commit to an answer either, but he says Briana is a grown woman and it’s up to her. In other words, there’s no way these guys are giving an opinion on this, and that’s a smart move. Matt says he agrees it’s on him. He either gets help and fixes it, and they stay together or don’t. Very astute.

We see another clip from the Matt and Briana special. We see a lot of Matt whining and pointing fingers. Kevin asks why do the special? Terra says the viewers care about Briana and will want to see what happens. Briana says from day one, their relationship was in the spotlight, so why end with more questions than answers. She says they still need to figure out where they are and where they’re going and get ready for the baby. Matt hasn’t been living at home, and they’re spending tonight in a hotel. After that, who knows?

Kevin tells us that Little Women: LA will be returning for another season. But I guessed that when he used the words “next season.”

Little Women: NY

Lila is having a party. She’s now rooming with Jason, who comes in with the decorations. He says moving out of his parents house is exciting but scary, and how better to celebrate that a pajama jam. They try putting up some crepe paper. “Try” being the operative word.

Lila asks if she’s going to meet Jason’s special someone tonight. He says yes, he thinks it’s time. He asks Lila if she’s going to be okay with having alcohol for the other guests, since she’s a recovering alcoholic, and already Lila starts whining. Jasmine is bringing another little person along who is new to the city.

Jazmin meets Jess (new girl) in Central Park for a workout. Jess is aka Jersey Jess and traveled with Hulk Hogan’s wrestling show. She’s in the city going on auditions. Jazmin tells Jess about her SIL Dawn and we flash back to how unsupportive Dawn has been of her. Jazmin says she can be herself around Jess and hopes everyone is accepting. Ha!

Dawn has just broken up with her boyfriend and is putting her energy into work. She’s first to arrive. Jason tells Dawn that he’s invited someone to the party and Lila tells her about Jazmin’s new friend. Already Dawn acts like Jazmin can’t think for herself and wants to size the new friend up.

When Jess comes in, Dawn already knows who she is from social media. She says Jess is well known in the little people world and not for her charity work. In her interview, she’s very insulting to both Jess and Jazmin. Jess is has a kind of dwarfism where she’s small, but proportionate, and feels she doesn’t fit in with either crowd, average or little.

Oh no. Dawn feels it’s her “responsibility” to tell Jazmin about her concerns. Jazmin said she knew Dawn would feel that way, but hoped she’d have some manners. They’re downstairs and Lila hears them shouting. Dawn’s brother is defending Jazmin and this offends Dawn. David says Dawn shouldn’t judge people by the internet and she’s being judgy. Dawn says Jazmin should watch the company she keeps. David says they should join the party and Dawn says the discussion isn’t over.

Jess says they found out how thin the walls are. Jason introduces his new boyfriend, DJ. Jason talks about how they met online. DJ is pretty cute. Previously, it hasn’t been mentioned that Jason is gay, but it’s also been very obvious. At least to me. Probably to everyone.

Terra shows up. Lila wonders if it’s some sick joke. Lila had once had a brief fling with Joe when he and Terra had broken up. Later, when Terra and Joe were back together, Lila kept trying to hit on Joe and it didn’t go over well with Terra, causing a fight a couple of LA seasons ago. Jason is friends with Terra and says it means a lot that she made it. Lila says Terra dragged her name through the mud and she is not happy. We flash back to the LA altercation.

Lila says Terra has some major nerve and her home is her sacred place. Terra asks Jason for a tour and Lila runs and locks her room. It’s a duplex apartment, which is awesome. I can’t imagine what the rent must be. While they’re out of the room, Lila asks the others wtf does Jason think he’s doing? She says she doesn’t want friction between them, but it’s a huge slap in the face. She gets all weird about where Terra’s pocketbook and shoes are and moves them.

Terra asks Jason if she was supposed to put her purse in the toilet. Jason says he didn’t realize it was all still an issue. They go back downstairs and Terra apologizes for being a surprise. Dawn chastises Jason for not giving a heads up and says he should talk to Lila. Terra says sorry, but Jason invited her.

Lila reads some kind of blessing thing they got as a housewarming gift and tells Terra to get out. Terra asks where her shoes are and Lila throws them out the door. Jess wonders how Jazmin is friends with Lila and Dawn. Lila threatens to call the cops about an intruder. This girl is definitely unhinged. Terra says she came over for Jason and Lila is clearly having emotional issues. I say Lila is clearly a whackjob. When Dawn tries to stick her nose into it, Terra lets fly about Lila trying to sext Joe after they were engaged. Lila gets an inch from Terra’s face and screams at her to get out, hurling a bunch of insults at her. Terra throws a beer bottle and it sticks in the door. Bet she couldn’t do that again if she tried.

Jason can’t believe all this drama is happening in front of his new boyfriend and thinks he should reevaluate his friendships. He walks Terra out and she tells him that it’s his place too, and not to let Lila call all the shots. Speaking of shots, Lila says she’d kill for a cocktail.

Jess is talking to her friend, Kim, on the phone and tells her about the party. She says her best friend, Katie, is coming for a visit. She’s pregnant and just broke up with her baby daddy. She and Jess know each other from the wrestling circuit. The baby’s father is average sized and the baby is going to be a little person. Jess tells Katie about how she felt judged at the party.

Lila meets Dawn in the park for yoga. They discuss Lila loosing her sh*t at the party. Lila says that Terra wouldn’t get out of her area. To her credit, Dawn says reminds her that she has a roommate. Lila says she’d rather live in a broom closet. Dawn goes through various yoga positions and Lila isn’t sure if she’s serious or just making them up as she goes along.

Lila is angry at herself for how she reacted, but Dawn says at least she didn’t have a drink. Lila says Dawn helps her put things in perspective and she wants to keep her friendship with Jason.

Jason meets Jazmin for coffee. He says the party was crazy and didn’t sit with him well. He says no one understood his point of view. He says if Lila invited an enemy of his, he’d at least be cordial. Jazmin says he should have told her first. He says he didn’t have anyone on his side, even her. He feels like he was piggyback attacked. He says he’s hurt that people thought he was being malicious and no one stood up for him.

Jason says everyone forgot his character and now he questions his friendships. He says he’ll apologize to Lila, but he’s not letting her run the show either. He thanks Jazmin for letting him vent.

Jess shows Katie around the city. Katie has no idea what she’s doing with her life. She’s been seeing her boyfriend, PJ, off and on for years. She wants him to put a ring on it or move along. She says right now she’s focusing on her and the baby, and if he joins them, he joins them.

David’s job wants him to go to Orlando — this week. He doesn’t have specifics on how long and he wants Jazmin to come with him. Jazmin doesn’t think it’s fair to make her leave her career. David says it will be really expensive to keep two places, so maybe she could get a roommate. He suggests Dawn because she’s the only other person in New York and the internet doesn’t exist. Jazmin isn’t thrilled with that idea, but says she’ll do anything to stay in the city.

Jazmin and Dawn sit down together. Jazmin tells Dawn about David’s job and how she thinks it’s bad timing for her to leave NYC. She suggests they room together. Dawn says she was raised not to rely on family and they’re still working on their relationship. She says Jazmin should get her own place and learn what it’s like to be independent. It’s a no and Jazmin says she’s asking for help. Dawn won’t let her talk and Jazmin says she won’t listen. She asks why Dawn is always shutting the door on her. Dawn says she needs to spread her wings and Jazmin says she does, but Dawn is critical of her.

Dawn says she’s being honest that it won’t work and she needs to respect that. Jazmin says Dawn is literally a knucklehead. Jazmin tells her she’s going to end up alone with cats. Ha-ha!

This season, Jason and Lila discuss the Terra thing, Katie’s baby has extra fingers, Lila’s father dies, Dawn lectures Jess (and probably everyone else), there’s some dancing and a Slip’N Slide, and the baby comes.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Yay! Back to back NYC tonight!

Bethenny is packing a bag for her daughter, Brit. She says Brit is like a mini-me, although she’s still independent. Bethenny gives her selections to choose from, rather than just telling her what to do, which is an excellent parenting move.

Dorinda meets Carole for dinner. Carole has a new phone. She lost her old one. Without a password. She says she had a sexy screen saver of Adam on it, and Dorinda says someone got lucky. They talk about Jules’s seven year project house. Carole says the vibe was off for her and Dorinda says it was tense and awkward. Carole says only the two of them ate. Dorinda thinks they’re using John as a panacea for all the group problems and I don’t even know where that came from. In her interview, Dorinda thinks she should keep John away from the other girls.

Jules shows up and Carole apologizes for ruining the energy at the brunch. She says she and Bethenny felt awkward. Jules says she’s having a hard time having a favoable impression of Bethenny. She doesn’t know if Bethenny is rude, condescending or what. She’s really annoyed about the criticism of her home. The girls say it’s just her personality, but Jules says that’s not an excuse for being rude. In her interview, Carole says Jules doesn’t know Bethenny  and she was just being “overly honest.” Here we go again with that honesty thing.

In her interview, Jules says there’s a difference between new money Bethenny and old money her and Michael. Jules says maybe she’s misunderstanding Bethenny, but she hasn’t had a good impression. Dorinda says Bethenny is an acquired taste, but she thinks if Jules is willing to peel back the layers, there’s a friendship there. Carole says Jules seems sweet, but under the surface, there’s crazy.

Sonja is going over her schedule with her latest intern. Then the great leveler happens — her dog poops on the carpet. Ramona comes by for a visit. She has her notarized divorce papers. She reads them out loud. They get hung up on the word “solemnized.”

Ramona says Sonja wasn’t invited to Bethenny’s party because she gets embarrassingly drunk and Bethenny doesn’t want to be around her. Sonja thinks Bethenny would tell her something like that herself and I do too. Ramona says she sees that Sonja drinks too much and that’s why she’s stepped away somewhat. She says she’s seen people hold Sonja up and Sonja says she’s seen the same with Ramona. Ramona says she’s in denial and Sonja thanks her for her opinion. Sonja says she does what she wants and reels it in when she has to. She adds she’s coming off a tough time.

They talk about the Countess, and Sonja tells Ramona she’s coming to stay for a while. Ramona does not think that’s a good idea and that she’ll be a horrible influence. She thinks Sonja will try to keep up with the Countess who apparently has a wooden leg.

Adam is off doing a documentary and Carole feels a little envious. She FaceTimes with him. It’s the longest they’ve been apart and Carole likes the feeling of missing each other.

Jules meets Bethenny for lunch. Bethenny knows she was harsh at the brunch and wants to connect with Jules. Jules is nervous and says the brunch was a little tense. She can’t seem to get her point across and in her interview, Bethenny says Jules needs a map to find the words. Jules says Bethenny was kind of abrupt. Bethenny says she didn’t know it was only going to be six people and when John opened the door it wasn’t a good start. Jules says she felt hurt that Bethenny criticized her home. Bethenny says she’s sorry if she made Jules uncomfortable and it was nothing personal. Jules says it’s hard for her to talk feelings.

Jules talks about having an eating disorder when she was younger. She says you’re never cured, but you learn to deal with it. In her interview, she says she was a swimmer and when she quit swimming, it got bad. Bethenny thanks her for being honest, and says it brings up her own issues and how she had to walk on eggshells around her mother as a child.

Jules says she and Mike have a guy in mind for her and he’s a Greek shipping heir. Bethenny says she loves feta cheese. I’m not sure if she’s talking about cheese or it’s a euphemism for something. Just kidding.

Carole and Bethenny go to Ramona’s place for lunch. Carole asks Bethenny how the lunch with Jules went. Bethenny says she encouraged Jules to be honest and she was open and vulnerable. Bethenny doesn’t repeat what Jules told her and in her interview says that’s not her story to tell. Good for her. Ramona asks Carole if she’ll be okay with the Countess is invited to her birthday party, although she’s putting them at separate tables. It’s going to be quite a crowd.

Bethenny tells about getting together with Kyle Richards and Kyle having a dinner party. The Countess harassed Bethenny relentlessly for an invite even though it wasn’t her party to invite anyone to. Bethenny wonders if she’s still friends with Dorinda and Carole says Dorinda is okay with her.

Dorinda and Jules meet at the salon for a mani/pedi. Jules says she learned you have to give someone a chance to explain themselves and says she feels better about her relationship with Bethenny. Dorinda talks to Jules about the bra party and how she felt overwhelmed by Ramona and that she doesn’t feel the same anymore. She says it’s devastating thinking you’re safe with someone and then finding out you’re not. Amen, sista. Been there, felt that.

It’s time for Ramona’s birthday party. Bethenny says the crowd looks like they haven’t moved from last year. Ramona says these are all the girls who were supportive during her horrendous divorce. Bethenny and Ramona talk about Sonja, and Bethenny says the reason she didn’t invite Sonja to her party was because they haven’t hung out in months. So this means Ramona made that up about Bethenny saying it was about her drinking. Nice.

The cake is pretty amazing, with a decorative icing (I think) purse on top of it. Jules says she’s heard negative things about Sonja, but feels a connection right away. The Countess pointedly ignores Carole. Carole says she’d rather the glide-by than the fake double air kiss.

The Countess had something made for Bethenny for her birthday. It’s some kind of bag with her name on it. Ramona is a little miffed because she got a necklace from the Countess’s collection and knows it was a regift. The Countess tells Bethenny she’s like family, but Bethenny says she was aggressive about Kyle’s party. The Countess is offended and starts getting a little loud. Bethenny says friends aren’t pushy like that and the Countess says friends don’t do what she’s doing now. Bethenny says she doesn’t think the Countess is honest and the Countess says if she doesn’t think so, she’s sorry. They hug and the Countess says she’s a little fragile right now. Bethenny says she just wants her to be honest. In her interview, Bethenny says she thinks the Countess is feeling lonely and it’s catching up with her.

Dorinda says she doesn’t want to talk about anything in the past and it’s onward and upward. She discusses John with the Countess, Sonja and Dorinda, and says the critics must be jealous. Ramona immediately relays that to Carole and Bethenny. Dorinda gives a toast. She says it’s the day after the fourth anniversary of her husband’s death and talks about how Ramona made her get up and out at a time when she wanted to hide. She says that girlfriends are the most important of all relationships.

Next time, the ladies see a psychic (we know how that always goes), Jules tells Carole about her eating disorder, Dorinda and John have a fight, and Sonja is getting into the liquor business, since she’s already into the liquor.