Tag Archives: Real Housewives

Jan5

January 4, 2016 — The Endless New Year’s Eve & a Proposal

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Franco is showing Nina how real things can be. I’ve decided that’s my new euphemism now.

Dante sees Morgan on the docks. He claims he’s looking for some solitude. Morgan asks if Dante is up to police business, but he says he’s going to The Haunted Star party. Morgan thinks showing up unannounced might be a bad idea.

Johnny is trying to show Lulu how real things are. Lulu stops mid-clinch and says she’s still married, and this would be cheating. Johnny asks if Dante would feel the same way.

Spinelli and Ellie show up at The Floating Rib and see Sam and Jason almost being real. But of course that witch Elizabeth has to call right at that moment. Okay, maybe she does have a reason, since there are flashing red lights outside of her house.

Elizabeth says Jake had a scare, the police are there and she’ll explain everything when Jason gets there.. Wah-wah-wah. Jason says he has to go. Spinelli, Ellie and Sam have a shot. The alcoholic kind.

Franco and Nina suddenly notice Kiki is home. Kiki says she got home early and was going out to party with her friends, but decided to spend a quiet evening at home. Suddenly, she changes her mind (good move) and wants to go to The Haunted Star. She leaves. Franco wants to pick up where he and Nina left off, but Nina decides to make a sandwich.

Lulu says revenge sex isn’t the answer. Johnny says why not, but Lulu says even if she was going to do that, she’d do it with someone Dante could find out about. Good point.

Dante tells Morgan he’s kind of a train wreck when it comes to relationships. Morgan says that’s why he can give advice on what not to do. Dante says he thinks he should be spontaneous with Lulu.

Johnny talks Lulu back into being real. How come those pics of him and Valerie haven’t hit the internet yet?

Nina says that she’s never felt so loved, and Franco asks what she’s afraid of. She says she’s terrified that they’re going to ruin everything with sex. Seriously? Are we 15? Or even 25?

Spinelli says it was clear that Sam and Jason’s attraction for each other is back. Sam balks at the idea and says it was nothing. Spinelli says no way., but then kind of goes, well….

Jason gets to Elizabeth’s. Jake runs to him and he asks Jake what happened.

Lulu stops the realness again and says that Johnny dredging up old memories is confusing and not helpful. Dante knocks at the door. Lulu shoves Johnny somewhere and straightens up a little. She asks Dante why he’s there. He says he was lonely and needed to see her. This ought to be interesting.

Nina says what if it isn’t that great or she’s bad at it? She doesn’t want to risk the disappointment. She suggests maybe their time came and went, and she messed up by not taking it. Franco says what if the world ended and they were never together in a meaningful way and they would always regret it? He says he was waiting because he wanted it to be the right time, and he feels it’s the right time now. He says if she really thinks about it, she’ll agree. She says she doesn’t know what to do and he says do nothing, just be loved. Too bad things aren’t like this IRL.

Morgan is talking to himself and decides to have another beer. Kiki startles him and she asks if he’s been drinking. He says no, but she says she can smell it. He says he only had one beer. While I can vouch for this, it reminds me of the court shows when a litigant says they only had “a few beers.” This translates into they were drinking their face off and it never, ever fools the judge. I remember back in the day, Judge Wapner looking at Rusty, winking, and saying, “Yeah. A few beers.” Kiki asks if Morgan took his meds. He says not today and she tells him he can’t keep skipping them, and reminds him of his craziness at the cabin.

Eliie says she loves football because it’s the opposite of science and completely irrational. She says that although things like physics are involved in the game, it runs on emotions. Spinelli reminds Sam of when they looked at the stars and talked about Jason, and how things have come full circle. Sam says he’s imagining things. Spinelli says since Jason has discovered who he is, he and Sam have gotten closer, and as Jason discovers more of himself, he’ll discover his love for her.

Elizabeth says she was putting Cameron and Aiden to bed, when Jake started hollering that there was a man looking in the window. She says by the time she got there, he was gone and she called the cops. Yeah, right. I’m not sure Jason is totally buying this and I certainly don’t. Jake asks Jason not to leave.

Dante asks Lulu what’s going on. She says nothing; she just wants some privacy. She asks why he didn’t call first and he says he was afraid she’d hang up. He says he has some things he wants to talk about and she asks if it can wait. He says no, and she says go ahead, talk. Dante starts to talk, and then walks past Lulu into the room like he’s the boss. I would so be saying something if I was Lulu, but she just stands there looking startled. He asks what she’s been doing and I assume he sees the champagne glasses. How about none of your business, buddy? Oh, wait, he can’t hear me and wasn’t talking to me in the first place.

Franco and Nina are keepin’ it real.

Dante says he thought he heard Lulu talking to someone. She says she was talking to herself. She says she was taking a break from the party to have a cry. Dante says, so you weren’t with anyone? She tells him she owes him no explanations and I totally agree. He says he thought there was still something between them, and she says he thought wrong. He asks, who is it? Because the only other option for her other than being with him is to be with another guy.  Man, I hate those assumptions.

Sam admits there might have been a moment or spark, but Jason doesn’t remember their life together. Spinelli asks if the attraction is “fortuitous” or not. I love Spinelli. He reminds me of Citizen Z on Z Nation. Or really vice versa, since Spinelli was here first.

Elizabeth acts her little heart out and tells Jake that Jason has to leave. Jake is all like, what if the bad man comes back and hurts us? and Jason says he’ll stay. I trust Jake about as much as I trust Elizabeth, which is not at all. That kid has looked suspicious since he came back from Cassadine Island or wherever the blip Helena was keeping him. He reminds me of The Bad Seed. He’s incredibly precocious and all of a sudden he’s acting like he’s an innocent toddler? No way.

Nina tells Franco how much she loves him and they get more real. Song part. I hate song parts. I hate them in movies too, unless they’re part of the plot. It’s one thing if the characters put a song on or are singing themselves, but this stuff is like, where is that music coming from and why? Their realness goes into the commercial break.

Commercial break. I don’t watch the dating reality shows – I can’t take the desperation – but the new guy on The Bachelor reminds me of Rob Kardashian when he’s thin.

Morgan says he still cares a lot about Kiki. She says she doesn’t want to lose him as a friend. He says she’s not, but she tells him if he keeps going the way he’s going, she will. She tells him she knows he doesn’t want to take his meds, but if he doesn’t, things will get scary. He says the meds make him feel dead inside and at least a beer makes him feel something. She says his condition is real and it’s not going away and it affects, not just him, but everyone around him.

Jason puts Jake to bed and Elizabeth says he can sneak out now. Jason says that he’ll stay so he’ll be there when Jake wakes up. Elizabeth says she wishes she had put what was best for everyone first while she had the chance. She tells him that she’s sorry. He says thanks and what’s done is done. She goes to get bedding for the couch.

Lulu tells Dante to get out before she calls the police. He says he is the police and she says it’s going to be pretty embarrassing then. Ha-ha! Dante picks up a pair of New Year’s Eve glasses from the bed, which is I guess what he saw. First of all, who does he think he is, snooping around her place? Secondly, how dare he be snooping around her place? I’m with Johnny. She deserves better than Dante.

The song is over and Nina and Franco are done with being real. Looks like things went well, because Nina wants to get real again.

Morgan tells Kiki she’s right, that he has to deal with his illness. Kiki says it will suck for a while, but eventually his doctor will find the right balance for him. His phone alarm goes off to tell him it’s time for his pill. He says he’s taking Kiki to a diner where she’s going to drink her coffee like a lady and he’s going to man up and take his meds. This is one of the rare moments when I like him. (The character, not the actor – Bryan Craig is great.)

Dante got a lot out of finding those glasses, since he gets pissed off and leaves. Lulu tells Johnny that Dante looked at her like he hated her and she wants Valerie out of the picture now. He says Valerie is going to get what she deserves. Good.

Sam, Spinelli and Eliie are having a beer now. Ellie suggests that Sam might end up not feeling the same way about Jason. Sam says maybe, maybe not. Sam says the same qualities she fell in love with must still be there.

Elizabeth tells Jason “happy new year” and tucks him into the couch. Not really, she gives him blankets and goes back upstairs.

Tomorrow, Robin wants her job back at the hospital, and it looks like Sabrrrina might be having her baby.

Vanderpump Rules

Schwartz visits Lisa for a mini meeting about the Sangria. She asks if he would like some water and he says he could use a Xanax. Lisa intimidates him, but I think it doesn’t take much. Lisa says Tom should also be there, but Schwartz is really there to show her Katie’s engagement ring. It’s beautiful. A pear shaped diamond. Schwartz tells Lisa to keep it a secret.

Tom and Ariana go to a tattoo removal place where Tom knows the manager. Kristen also knows someone there, so Tom is worried she’ll find out about it. Ariana says that this is the most grudge-bearing group she knows, except when it comes to Kristen and I agree.

The doctor says they have to wait because of some complication he has with the red ink. It’s going to cost a thousand bucks and, take 7 to 12 treatments over a year and a half’s time. The doctor also says he can’t go sunbathing or use a tanning bed in the meantime. I might add her first reaction to Tom asking about the tanning bed is, “Who does that anymore?”

“Think before you get ink,” Tom says. Um, yeah. How about just thinking period.

Jax, Scheana and Kristen are out for drinks. Lala is joining them later. They discuss the problem Tom has with Kristen coming to the joint birthday party for Jax and Tom. Kristen keeps asking if she’s invited and Jax can’t tell her no. Instead he says he’ll fight for her. Scheana says Kristen will show up whether invited or not, and he has to tell her not to even come near the event. What is up with that? Lala joins them and Kristen says if Lala wants to be friends with her, she shouldn’t’ be hooking up with her ex. Lala hugs Jax and Kristen almost has apoplexy. Jax invites Lala to the party in Wakiki. I’d hide the knives at this point. Why does this cuckoo bird want to go to a party where she’s not wanted? Lala and Jax flirt openly and steam comes out of Kristen’s ears. Obviously, even with her whole nine months of therapy, Kristen is as crazy as ever.

During prep time at SUR, Tom spills some Sambuca and he says it’s the worst liquor ever to clean up, sticky and pungent. Katie asks Lisa if Schwartz came up with any good ideas about the sangria and Lisa says not at all. Lisa makes a big show of scolding Tom. When Katie leaves the room, Lisa finds out that Tom knows about Schwartz proposing, and they talk about it.

Britney is in the parking lot, with her car full of her belongings. Jax says whether he wants it or not anymore, it’s too late. Britney is moving in. He says he’s excited about it, but it’s still kind of fast. Yeah, especially since he was out with Lala last night. Jax invites her inside SUR. In his individual interview, James predicts Britney will be gone by this time next year. Jax gives her the keys and tells her they’ll celebrate when he gets home.

Jax informs Lala that Britney is moving in. She says she thought they were just casually dating. Okay, I guess she’s really stupid. Lala tells James she was flirting with Jax, which doesn’t make him too happy, since he thinks she should be with him. Lala says she was invited to Jax’s birthday and James acts like he’s coming too. Another one who wants to be somewhere he’s not wanted. Is this a millennial thing?

Jax comes to the office for his paycheck. He tells Lisa about the Hawaii plans. Lisa says they never tell her as far in advance when they plan these trips. She heaves a sigh and asks who’s going. Jax says he wants to invite Lisa’s son, Max. Lisa isn’t too keen on it and says to just make sure everyone has their shifts covered. Jax says James will be there, since he’s not invited. Jax tells her about Britney and Lisa says it won’t take long for Britney to see through him.

Faith is at Lala’s place for drinks and pizza. Lala tells her she touched James’s peepee. I’m not kidding. That’s what she said. Faith asks what she even sees in him. That’s my question. Lala also says that she’d texted Jax at 3 a.m. and doesn’t remember. Faith says she likes Britney, but at the same time, she knows who she’s dating. What is wrong with people?

Katie and Scheana come over to Kristen’s place for a carbless, meatless lasagna. It’s not lasagna then. Kristen is hoping they’re on their way to being friends again. Kristen asks about Schwartz and Katie tells her about the tattoo. Scheana knows about the ring too and is having a hard time keeping it to herself. Katie and Scheana put words in Ariana’s mouth, saying she told them they can’t be friends with both her and Kristen. That’s not what she said. Another bunch with short term memory loss or who think that I have it.

Schwartz comes over to Tom and Ariana’s place with take-out. He and Tom talk about the surprise engagement ring presentation.  He’s also brought his clothing over for Tom’s approval. They talk about when Schwartz first moved to L.A. and Tom found him under roommates on Craigslist. Tom has a little dog (a Pomeranian?) named Charlotte. Nothing to do with what’s going on; just giving cute dog alert.

James checks the schedule. James asks Lisa if he can have off too because of the Hawaii trip. Lisa asks him if he knows whether he’s invited or not, and reminds him of the fight he and Jax had. James keeps acting like he’s been invited without answering the question and takes a picture of the schedule. Meanwhile, Lisa keeps trying to get him to go back to work. James and Kristen are so freaking weird, I can’t stand it.

Tom creates a birthday dinner and drinks with the group to cover for Schwartz proposing. Schwartz says no one else knows because he didn’t want them anticipating the moment, but now he finds himself doing it. They talk about Britney coming out to L.A. all by herself and wonder where all her stuff is going to go in Jax’s studio. They also talk about the upcoming trip to Hawaii. Schwartz is downing beers like a maniac. The cue is when the entrees are cleared. Here it comes. I’m laughing at how nervous he is.

Schwartz looks like he’s about to pass out or throw up. He asks for another beer. OMG, some other guy is proposing to his girlfriend at another table. Talk about having your thunder stolen. Or is this part of the set up? Okay, it is. Schwartz goes over to the guy, interrupts things, and takes the ring. He brings it over to Katie and gets down on one knee, asking her to marry him. I have to admit, this is pretty clever. If I were her, I’d tell him no just for making me wait so long.

She says yes, and everyone applauds. Tom looks like a proud father. Some violinists pop out of nowhere to play background music. Katie calls her mom from the restaurant and sends an Instagram pic. They have a toast. Schwartz is ecstatic that nothing went wrong and says it’s a fairytale ending. Just wait, pal.

Next week, the guest list for Hawaii is firmed up and Britney tries to tame Jax.

Jan4

January 3, 2016 — More GH NYE & Some Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. Now back to business. I am so glad to see Galavant! is back. I honestly thought I was the only one watching it. While this is too insane of a show to recap (Once Upon A Time is hard enough), it should appeal to anyone who likes a little satire with their 5th Century, or perhaps Game of Thrones as a musical. A bit Spamalot, a bit Camelot and a big risk as a Sunday night show, I highly recommend this silly, yet clever whatever-it-is. And perhaps now I know what they did with the woodland settings from the late Clifton’s Cafeteria in Los Angeles.

General Hospital – New Year’s Eve in Port Charles

Patrick comes home after dropping Emma off for a sleepover. He’s also brought snacks for him and Robin’s New Year’s Eve. Chocolate covered popcorn is in order.

Sonny tells Dante he and Carly are having a quiet evening in. They don’t know what Morgan is up to, and Carly says she’s worried, but Sonny says they’ll just have to trust him. Michael shows up. Sonny asks what he and Sabrrrina have planned. Apparently, he’s out of the loop.

Morgan is at The Floating Rib. He starts to order a club soda and changes it to a beer. No good is going to come from this. The Floating Rib is floating all right. It doesn’t know if it’s an upscale restaurant or a sports bar.

Nina introduces herself to Curtis.

Franco meets some guy on the docks and gives him a bunch of money. The guy hands him an envelope.

Robin gives Patrick a gift. It’s a perpetual calendar. Robin says she wants him to see the infinite number of days they can spend together.

Christina (who I guess is a permanent fixture on the show now) runs into Sam. She wants Sam to join her at the bar and watch “the game.”

Valerie and Dillon are also at the bar.

^$@!&@#&!_!  (Insert your favorite curse words.) ABC just broke in to tell us about Bill Cosby’s indictment. Thank you sooo much because we know that just couldn’t wait for forty-five minutes. @!)#^$&_! again!

Carly asks Jason (who I guess stopped by while I was forced to watch Bill Cosby getting into his car for 10 minutes) if he’d like to stay for New Year’s Eve. He says no thanks. He wants Carly and Sonny to enjoy their newlywed time together.

Michael tells Jason that he and Dante are going to watch college football and asks if he wants to join them. Dante promises that he’s off duty and won’t bug Jason. Jason says okay. I already know this entire thing is just a set up to get Sam and Jason in the same room on New Year’s Eve.

At this point, pretty much the whole under-30 cast is at The Floating Rib. Morgan asks Christina what’s up. She says she’ll fill him in if he won’t tell anyone. She also adds that she won’t tell anyone he’s been drinking.

Valerie tells Dillon that she and Dante barely had a relationship, but it’s over now. He says she deserves better anyway. She asks him to send positive vibes for her team to win. Dillon tells her his father didn’t live up to his expectations. Valerie says she’s sorry, but he says it’s a fresh start and he doesn’t want to mull over the crummy things that happened in 2015. Me neither.

Johnny, in the big disguise of 2016 glasses, is at The Haunted Star. So are Nina and Franco, and I guess I’ll never know what Nina wanted to ask Curtis. Does she want him to model for the magazine? I could totally see him doing that. Franco gives Nina a present. It’s an absolutely gorgeous necklace.

Robin says now that they have a calendar that goes to the end of time, they can fill it with new memories. Patrick tells her she’s the only person he wants to spend every day with and asks her to marry him. Um….aren’t they already married?

Franco has excellent taste, although he is an artist. Nina loves the necklace and has him put it on her. He says if she’s wondering how he paid for it, he sold a painting. She says he shouldn’t have, but I say why not? Isn’t that the usual goal? They kiss.

Curtis approaches Franco and says he knows who he is.

Darby joins Christina and Morgan. Christina excuses herself to get back to Sam at the pool table. Darby asks if Morgan would like to have a good time, but he says he might have to help his dad out. Michael shows up to mess up everyone’s party mind-set.

Dante says hello to Valerie and she makes herself scarce.

Jason sees Sam at the pool table. They talk football and Jason asks if Sam would like to play a game of pool. She asks if he knows how good he is at pool.

Carly says Jason made a good point that last year at this time, she was missing Sonny, and now they’re married. Sonny says by all rights he should be dead or in prison, but instead he’s with her. They both say how lucky they are. Sonny says he’s always going to need her, and that they’re equals, but he was hoping he would be walking by now. More kissing.

Robin and Patrick “accept” each other’s proposals. Even more kissing. Robin says she’s been praying to be back home for so long, it’s hard to believe it’s real. Patrick says he’ll show her how real it is and they go upstairs. I don’t want to know.

Curtis says he was on the Baltimore PD for years, and Franco was on the most wanted list for most of them. He says a bunch of nasty stuff ending with calling Franco “Robert.” Nina comes back and Curtis tells her if she ever wants to shake Franco, to let him know.

Dillon says he’s going to The Haunted Star and stupidly asks if Valerie would like to come. Oh sure! Not too insensitive. She says she’s going home and he says he’ll drive her.

Michael decides to try and police Morgan. Morgan says he has something to take care of and leaves.

Sam beats Jason at pool and they rack up another game. Christina introduces herself to Jason. He asks if they know one another, and she says she can’t count the times he rescued her. She says there’s something to be said for starting over with a clean slate. She also suggests that he should get back together with Sam. Sam is like, cut it out, and Christina goes to mingle elsewhere. Sam and Jason smile and make googly eyes at each other. Yeah, yeah, we all know where this is headed.

Johnny and Lulu (who checked out The Floating Rib for less than 2 seconds) go back to The Haunted Star for a nightcap.

Morgan sees Raj down at the docks, leaving from a meeting with an associate.

Back at the bar, Sam trips and falls into Jason’s arms. Come on now.

Patrick is showing Robin how real things are. Song part.

Sonny and Carly are being real too. Carly interrupts things to get a new bottle of champagne to toast the new year. She says it’s bad luck to toast at midnight from an open bottle. This is a new one to me, although I’m not much of a champagne drinker.

Valerie’s team wins and is in the running for the national championship. It’s so exciting, I can barely keep from yawning. She and Dillon kiss. Valerie says she can’t deal with romance right now and Dillon says bad timing. She says he can stay in the friend zone and he agrees. I’m sure he’s thrilled. I know how much guys like to be there.

Counting down. Sonny is either having a heart attack or feels movement in his legs. Okay, it’s his legs. Morgan sees the fireworks from the docks and Dante happens upon him. Franco says he wants to take Nina home and make love to her. Johnny kisses Lulu and she totally responds. Go lulu. Carly rushes to Sonny’s side and he says it’s going to be a great year. Robin and Patrick bask in the afterglow and say, “Happy new year” to each other.

Everyone else at the bar is jumping around. Jason and Sam wish each other a happy new year and their faces are pretty close, but no kiss yet.

GH can certainly drag things out, but I have high hopes for Monday.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

DonJuan, Kandi and another assistant are discussing Phaedra’s public powwow about the money issue between her and Todd. Kandi isn’t thrilled with Porsha having been involved in her business. The assistant (Carmen?) says something about how you shouldn’t come around with new shoes when you owe someone money and I’m  totally with her on this. There is a couple who owes me a large sum of money who likes to post their vacation pictures on Facebook, while I haven’t had a vacation since 1987.

Phaedra and Todd meet. Phaedra acts like she doesn’t know why on earth he has an issue with her. Phaedra says some baloney in her individual interview about how Todd must be scrounging around for change because some project of his didn’t get off the ground. Pay him his money, you tight-fisted witch. Phaedra makes noises about having had the baby and how it was a priority. Phaedra also says she hasn’t seen the video, but we flash back to her saying how good it looks as she’s watching it. He tells her that they also need a photo from her and shows her the cancelled checks so she gets it through her head that she still owes him a third.

Porsha is hosting an Emmy red carpet event for Dish Nation. I’ve seen Dish Nation. Once. Please don’t tell me they’re up for an Emmy. Porsha’s sister, Lauren, is also pregnant and since she’s Porsha’s right hand, Porsha doesn’t know what she’ll do when Lauren goes on maternity leave. I can just imagine.

Kenya’s dad has come to visit. Kenya talks about the remodel of her new house and how it’s a money pit. Another great leveler. All houses are money pits. Kenya also says she’s dating. Her dad talks about men keeping scorecards. Maybe at a frat house. Kenya says some of her issues with men are the result of a dysfunctional family. Kenya says she has to deal with family stuff first before finding the right guy.

Cynthia is working on an event for her eyewear. Marlo (apparently bucking for the next Wives cast) is helping.

I have to admit, Porsha’s dress is phenomenal. Sometimes she’s got too much going on or her wardrobe is way too revealing, but this is perfect. Somebody coaches her in the limo about doing interviews. She interviews Gary Cole, one of my favorites. She’s pretty excited, takes lots of selfies, and as far as I can tell, doesn’t embarrass herself.

I go get another piece of pie, my waistline becoming a casualty of the holiday season.

Phaedra’s son, Aiden, is taking golf lessons. I wish him better luck than I had.

Kenya shows her dad her new house in progress. He makes grumbling noises because it’s a wreck, but that’s just the stage the house is in now.

Kandi and Todd meet Peter and Kandi for dinner. Peter compliments Kandi on the video release. Kandi tells them about what DonJuan heard outside the event. She thinks that Porsha should have kept her nose out of it. Kandi is annoyed since she’s been supportive of Porsha in the past. They talk about the money Phaedra owes Todd and all her excuses.

Peter asks about Kandi opening a restaurant. Cynthia says be prepared to put in a lot of time and how she thought things never worked well unless Peter was on site. She and Peter get in a small argument about it.

Cynthia is having her glasses event and Kim helps with some of the camera work. Cynthia talks to Kim and Kenya about producing and directing a commercial for her. Porsha deigns to grace them with her presence after the Emmys. Kandi wonders who the real Porsha is.

Porsha approaches Kandi and asks for a side conversation. Kenya says she hopes Kandi’s crew has their health insurance paid up since she knows what Porsha’s capable of. Ha-ha! DonJuan interrupts and kinda, sorta apologizes about butting in to the ladies’ business at the video release. Kandi doesn’t really want to go outside to talk and Porsha says she’s done and walks outside.

Phaedra isn’t there which Kenya thinks is convenient. Kandi’s friend (Carmen?) tries to run interference and talk to Porsha outside, but Porsha literally runs away from the situation.

Kenya’s dad is obviously a negative guy. They sit in the park to talk. In Kenya’s individual interview she says it’s hard to have a conversation with him because she ran away when she was 12 and her dad didn’t talk to her for five years. They’d moved to Texas and she ran back to where she used to live in Detroit. He says he had pain too, because he thought he had failed. That when she decided Texas wasn’t good enough, he felt she thought he wasn’t good enough. Kenya says she didn’t realize how hurt her dad was and her dad says they need to put everything in the past. It sounds like Kenya’s mother was never too supportive either, but he says forget about it.

Kenya wants to have a family reunion in Detroit, but her dad isn’t too receptive. Kenya thinks if she can reconnect with her dad, maybe there’s hope for her mother. They hug.

Kandi and idiot Porsha meet for lunch. Porsha says she invited Kandi to lunch so she can be “the bigger person,” and I gag. Porsha says Kandi’s team caused problems at the event. Kandi says her team knew that Porsha wanted to talk about the Todd gossip, so they should have been included. She also says private conversations usually lead to the person retracting what they said later. Porsha acts like she contributed nothing to the gossip and DonJuan got it all wrong. Porsha says she wasn’t taking sides and it’s all Phaedra. Kandi says Porsha goes whatever way the wind is blowing. Porsha says that she’s choosing a side because maybe Phaedra needs her more. Nice try. I don’t think Phaedra needs anybody’s support.

Now it’s Kandi’s turn to gag. Porsha tries to act like Phaedra is a poor single mother whose husband has left her in the lurch. Porsha asks if there’s anything she can do to get Phaedra and Kandi’s friendship back on track. Kandi says it will probably never be the same and then the two of them act like nothing ever happened. WTF?

Next time, Kenya goes to Detroit and OMG it’s Kandi’s mom.

Dec30

December 29, 2015 — PC NYE & the Hills of Beverly

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sonny tells Dante that he’s grateful to Kiki for getting Avery to him for a Christmas visit. Meanwhile, Morgan, who is at the MetroCourt, asks Kiki to join him. She says since she’s working, that wouldn’t be very professional.

Nicholas tells Hayden that if he shows mercy to Jason, Jason could be in his debt. Hayden says she saw him go over the railing and thought he was dead. Nicholas flirts with her a little. I have news for him, I don’t think Jason would ever feel like he’s in Nicholas’s debt.

Maxie shows up at Patrick’s to see Robin. Patrick says she’s not there, and Maxie tells him he’s nuts for losing sight of her.

Jason tells Robin that even though she’s like a stranger to him, he owes her his life. She says ditto. She gives him the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of what happened to her. She tells him he’s the reason she has a life to come back to.

Hayden says she missed Nicholas, for the obvious reasons, that he takes care of her, but she missed his company as well. Geez, it’s not like he’s been there that long. She says she missed the dance they do with each other. He says maybe they should stop dancing and start trusting. Yeah, that’s the ticket. You do that.

Kiki tells Morgan that hating her mom wasn’t getting her anywhere, so she’s decided to move on. She’s not forgiving or forgetting, but she’s willing to tolerate Ava for Avery’s sake.

Dante is under the impression that Sonny made up with Ava, but Sonny says she’s even more dangerous now. He tells Dante that he needs to decide where he stands with Lulu.

Lulu tells Johnny that she and Dante made an effort to get along on Christmas for Rocco’s sake. She thinks once Valerie is out of the picture, they’ll have a chance. Johnny says he’d be remiss if he didn’t tell her he thinks she’s making a mistake.

Sonny tells Dante if he put half the effort into getting Lulu back that he does in justifying why he shouldn’t, everything would be different. Sonny says that because Dante screwed up, he thinks that’s that and isn’t even trying to fix things. Yep. Lazy. Moving on to the next one is just so much easier.

Jordan tells Valerie that she has a New Year’s date with someone she met at a law enforcement convention. She likes that he understands her job, but they don’t work together. She tells Valerie that she’s lucky her dalliance with Dante didn’t ruin her career.

Dante comes to the hospital to question Nicholas and Hayden. Hayden doesn’t want to leave Nicholas and Dante asks if that’s because she’s afraid their stories won’t match.

Jason says he wanted to get away to think and that he likes the view of the city. Robin says the bridge is important to her because that’s where they fell in love.

Paul is having a drink and texting Raj about the next transaction. Raj says they’ll talk soon. Dillon appears and says he and Paul need to talk and how could he screw over Tracy again. Dillon says he’s spent all this time regaining Tracy’s trust and then caused her to mistrust him all over again. Paul says he wasn’t being unfaithful as he and Tracy had no plans for the future. Dillon says he played the both of them.

Dante questions Nicholas. Hayden watches from the hall wondering what they’re saying. Curtis calls Hayden and says he’s found a match for the bullet.

Sonny tells Max he’s expecting a call that should shed light on some things.

Patrick tells Maxie that Robin was coerced into leaving him and Emma, and he doesn’t want to push anything. Maxie doesn’t understand why they don’t just get back together.

Robin tells Jason about Stone dying from AIDS and how he wanted to bungee jump off the bridge. She says after he passed away, she found out she was HIV positive. Back then it was a death sentence and she would come to the bridge thinking about the future she was never going to have. She says one day Jason showed up, and after he’d had an accident, he was a changed man. Jason says he’s changed again and wishes people would accept it. Robin tells him his friends aren’t the sit and wait type and they just want their old Jason back. He says what she’s telling him is a story, but not a memory. She says he’s back where he started, without a past, but not she has a future because of him.

Robin says she was lucky because her family and friends were so supportive. She says there was a lot of pressure to be positive all the time, but with him it was different. She could tell him everything. Jason asks her to tell him more. Robin says she was offered a meds cocktail. She would have to take 30 pills a day and she wasn’t sure if she wanted that kind of commitment without knowing if it would work. She says Jason told her he would be supportive no matter what, but that her life was important and she should fight for that. She says everything she’s done since then wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t helped her make that decision.

Patrick says he’s already lost Robin twice and doesn’t want to again. Maxie says if Robin gets hit by a bus, he’s going to be sorry he didn’t do everything possible to keep them together. I swear, the men of Port Charles are lazier than the ones IRL.

Curtis makes small talk with a cop while he gives back the gun evidence. He tells him that his gratuity will be at The Floating Rib tonight. Curtis sees Jordan and says his job was a success. She says good, he can leave now, and he says no chance of that.

Dante asks Hayden who threw the first punch. She says everything is a jumble now, but when things become clear, she’ll contact the police. She goes in to see Nicholas.

Lulu says she doesn’t want a lecture on how Dante isn’t good enough for her. Johnny says he just thinks she can do better. She says, with who? You? And he says, why not?

Paul tells Dillon in retrospect it was probably a bad idea to get close to Tracy, but he thought they could be a family again. Dillon says they weren’t a family to begin with. Paul says he really wanted to connect with Dillon. Dillon says he’s done fine without Paul all these years, and he can do fine again. Paul says he hopes Dillon changes his mind.

Morgan hears Sonny talking in Spanish on the phone, and telling Max that Raj has a shipment coming that they’re going to shut down.

Curtis tells Jordan that he can understand what she likes about Port Charles. He says no one would have suspected how well she was going to do, and that Jordan is going to play a big part in his future.

Valerie sees Dante and says she has a present for him and asks if they can meet later. He tells her that he saw Lulu over the holidays and things are better.

Johnny reminds Lulu that they once loved each other. She says it was a long time ago and their lives took different paths. Johnny says look what going for the good, stable guy got her. She says Rocco is her reason for everything.

Robin says Jason was a good guy and she thinks he still is. He says he doesn’t think so, but his friends keep coming back. He asks what happened between them. Robin says his loyalty to Sonny stopped them from being together. Jason says he must have been an idiot, but Robin tells him he was just being true to himself. She says she went to Paris and he wished her well. He says he’s glad his wishes for her came true. She says he was reckless and fearless and no one thought he’d live past 30, except she believed he had a future and she still does. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves.

Dante, being the moron he is, tells Valerie he still has feelings for her. She says she’s ending things for both their sakes. She says it’s only hurting both of them and she doesn’t want to jeopardize her career either.

Lulu says if there was no Rocco, she would throw down with Valerie herself, but she has to make mom choices.

Morgan hears Sonny giving details about the pier Raj is going to be at later.

Maxie tells Dillon he might change his mind in the future. She says he’s changed, so there’s always a possibility. She asks him to come with her to meet Georgie, who is probably in college by now.

Hayden tells Nicholas what she told Dante. He says it took a tragedy for them to get to a better place in their relationship. He asks if it’s New Year’s Eve tonight, and she says yes, but he’s not going anywhere. He says he wants to kiss her at midnight and she says let’s have a preview now.

Jason, still on the bridge, remembers talking to Robin years ago.

Robin gets back to Patrick’s and he tells her she just missed Maxie. He says Maxie also gave him an earful and they talked about the future. Robin says she saw Jason, and they also talked about the future. She and Patrick gaze lovingly at each other.

Tomorrow, some Franco and some New Year’s Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio told LisaR to go to Kyle’s store, pick out what she wants and send him the bill for her birthday gift. How do I get on that list? Lisa says she had a store at one point, but it became a liability after being robbed three times in six weeks. (!) Kyle says that her store is doing so well, they’re doing a pop-up shop in South Hampton and they discuss a field trip. Lisa picks out a trendy Moto jacket as her gift. Side note: Rich people always have the best sunglasses.

LisaV’s swan, Hanky, has a stomach infection and needs to go to the vet. She’s afraid he’s not going to make it. She has an event, a white party for Bella magazine, to attend and wants to make sure the swan is fine before she leaves. Swans are kind of nasty and Hanky is no exception. Yep. He drew blood on Ken and Lisa.

LisaV says animals are like children because they depend on you and that makes her love them even more. The vet says Hanky isn’t out of the woods yet, but he’s improving.

Yolanda introduces Erika to Kyle. The three ladies are walking in the park. Kyle asks about Yolanda’s trip to Canada. She saw the pictures on Instagram and says it’s a huge difference between those and the sick Yolanda. She’s decided to keep LisaR’s theories to herself. Kyle says she had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia after her mother died, but a lot of it was due to depression. In her individual interview, Yolanda talks about Lyme disease being a whole lot of things at once. She tells Kyle that you can’t judge someone by how they look and that is so true.

Erika tells Kyle she’s a show girl. She also has a son who’s a cop. She says her ex is a great guy, but it just didn’t work out. Yolanda suggests they go for a drink to introduce Erika to the other women. Erika says she only hangs out with gay men, except for a few exceptional women like Yolanda.

The doctors found silicone in Yolanda’s lymph nodes, so she’s going to Ohio to have her breast implants and whatever is floating around in her removed. I’m wondering if this isn’t the basis of her problem. She also says she breast fed and two of her children have Lyme disease and compromised immune systems. Kyle thinks this is odd, but Yolanda says they grew up on a ranch and in the barn and riding horses. Yolanda adds that there are no studies on how Botox affects the brain, so no more for her. Erika and Kyle balk at this, but Yolanda and I are in agreement here. One day they’re going to find out that all these implants and injections shorten life.

Lisa is getting a wax at home, since she’s going to be in a bathing suit soon. There’s a lot of personal talk between her and the…waxist (?) that doesn’t bear repeating here.

LisaV and Kyle are going to tour the studio at The Young and the Restless. I got to go to a taping of One Life to Live once, and it was a blast. Lisa keeps joking about wanting Eileen’s part and Eileen says it’s like All About Eve, one of my favorite movies. They check out wardrobe first and Eileen asks them to help her run lines. They try using the vending machine for a snack and have about as much luck as the rest of us trying to get it to take a dollar.

In Eileen’s very cool private space, Kyle brings up meeting Erika and they talk about going out for drinks. They also talk about Yolanda. LisaV says she didn’t like the conversation LisaR started about Munchausen’s Syndrome. Eileen says LisaR isn’t malicious and Yolanda must know people are talking. She’s of a mind that LisaR should bring it up before someone else does.

Yolanda introduces Erika to LisaV, who’s the first to arrive at this gorgeous outdoor area of some restaurant. The color scheme is amazing greens and blues. In her individual interview, Lisa says Erika looks like a Barbie she used to have. This isn’t a mean remark at all and she’s kind of right. Kyle joins them next. They pass around a Cartier ring of Erika’s that has a price tag of $189k. Kyle says it’s like wearing a Lamborghini on your finger. LisaV asks what Erika did for it, and Erika says what every woman does and she’s good. Wink, wink. Kyle says Erika might give Lisa a run for her money.

They talk about Yolanda’s children having Lyme’s disease. LisaV says this is the first time she’s heard about it. Yolanda says she doesn’t normally talk about it, but she’s made it her life’s mission to find a cure. Kyle says all the talk about Lyme disease is making her think she has it. I know this feeling. I had a hard time watching Quincy without thinking I had every rare disease described on the show.

Eileen arrives next. Kyle tells Eileen that Yolanda is leaving on Monday for her surgery, so she can’t join them in the Hamptons. Erika says she’s going to be performing in Chicago, but she’ll hop on her plane to get there. She says in Beverly Hills everyone has a private something. Eileen says she wants to be a dance disco queen too.

Erika says she’s been married 15 years and they’ve been together almost 17. She mentions that her husband is 76 and she’s 44. Everyone makes weird faces, which is not only rude, but surprising. LisaV asks how he is in the sack. Erika says he doesn’t even need Viagra. LisaV said she was hoping Ken might slow down, but since he had his hip surgery, he’s even randier. She jokes that she loves him madly and won’t ever leave – unless someone better comes along.

They talk about Ken’s birthday party. LisaV says she wanted to slap Taylor. Yolanda says she heard Taylor had some things to say about her illness, but she hasn’t seen Taylor in 3 years, so she has no idea what’s going on.  In her individual interview, Eileen says LisaV felt guilty about repeating what she’d heard. She feels like she betrayed Yolanda in talking about it, and wants to talk to her. Yolanda says she can’t deal with it right now, and makes an exit. Erika thinks that anyone questioning someone’s illness is making a cheap shot. She wonders who would do something like that, so apparently she didn’t watch the last season of The Real Housewives of Orange County.

Hanky is home and he’s put on weight and doing well. LisaV gives him kisses and he tries to bite her. Back in the pond with you, Hanky. Lisa says maybe her animals are filling the void of the grandchild Pandora hasn’t given her yet.

Yolanda is in the kitchen with her mother and kids. Daughter Gigi is making tomato soup and grilled cheese dippers. Yolanda gushes over Gigi and Bella doing so well in modeling. She says it’s not as easy as people might think. Yolanda goes out with her mom to pick lemons. She says she used to spend hours gardening in her lemon orchard. Yolanda and her mom take a break in a picnic area. Yolanda says she just wants to be healthy and alive and see her babies grow. Yolanda says you don’t think about needing your mom as much when you get older, but there’s no one closer and she needs her mom right now.

The kids bring the soup and sandwiches up to the picnic table. Yolanda shows the kids a folder with her will in it, freaking them out. She tells them it will be in her safe. In her individual interview, she talks about her father’s sudden death and she wants her children taken care of. Yolanda tells them to make sure to take care of her mother if anything happens, freaking them out more.

Next week, Isaac Mizrahi meets with LisaR and the Hamptons trip is on. Also, Kim’s arrest for shoplifting.

Dec28

December 27, 2015 –Atlanta Wives & Vegas Aftermath in L.A.

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Aside from Kandi and Kim.

Cynthia gets flowers from Peter. Ho-hum. I am glad to hear her say  sweet notes and flowers aren’t going to make her forget about their problems though.

Kandi goes to see producer, Roger Bobb (whose name we haven’t heard for a while). Kandi has made a single with friend Demetria, and Roger wants to do a video. Kandi’s assistant (DonJuan) and Roger act like it’s unheard of that a pregnant woman should be working.

One of Apollo’s friends is checking in on the boys, bringing them some guy stuff. When the boys go off to play, the friend asks how things are going. Phaedra says Aidan knows what’s going on and how to contact his father. Apollo has apparently been saying that he has no contact with the kids. The friend says Apollo is remorseful that things didn’t work out. Phaedra is like, hindsight is 20/20, and says they need to just focus on being good parents. Why is there even any pretense? She was done with that guy before he left for prison.

Kandi says it’s been a while since she’s done a video and is having a hard time letting people tell her what to do. Todd shows up on a hoverboard. Look out! I heard those things catch fire spontaneously. Kandi says it’s a lot of work to conceal the pregnancy. Porsha and Phaedra stop by to lend support. And get more camera time.

Kenya and Marlo are working out. Kenya says as a workout partner, Marlo is good at looking pretty and being funny. Her friend, Matt, also shows up. She says there’s been some flirtation but there’s a large age gap. They make plans to get together anyway and I see no reason why not. He’s good looking and seems cool. Ooh, he’s younger than her. I thought it was the other way around. She says she doesn’t mind someone younger, but they have to be old enough “to enjoy this ride.” Not sure what she means by that, but I understand her reluctance. I wasn’t interested in the young ones when I was young.

Kandi says she appreciates DonJuan’s protectiveness, but all right already. They have Kandi in amazing jeweled boots and a flowing poncho and it actually seems to hide that she’s pregnant when the wind machine is going. She says she forgot how hard it was to sing and dance at the same time, and to be having a baby along with it makes it even more difficult. Well, yeah.

Cynthia and Peter are having a romantic lunch by the water. Cynthia says that they used to do a lot together, like taking long drives and just talking, but since they’ve gotten so busy with various projects, they barely see one another. Peter toasts to better days while a local artist sketches their portrait.

Matt and Kenya decide to play basketball for their first date. Kenya wins, but I’m not sure how much he let her win. Kenya says that Matt is sweet, and she’s not saying no to a second date, but she’s reluctant. I think she’s saying he’s too nice for her and I kind of get that, but I also think she should give him a chance. I’m not suggesting she give him a chance to be mean, but to show that he’s multi-dimensional.

Aidan is starting kindergarten. Phaedra says Apollo’s incarceration doesn’t only affect him, but affects the whole family. Aidan is so cute and Phaedra gets teary-eyed about him saying he wants to be with her always. It reminds me of the time I was babysitting a four-year-old boy. We were watching Tarzan and he asked if I would go off in the jungle with him on a motorcycle. (Today, he’s in college and just got into trouble for buying a motorcycle without mom’s permission. At least he’s consistent with something.) We flash back to some  of Aidan’s cutest moments over the past five years. Phaedra tells him that he and Dillon will always be her little babies. They say a prayer thanking God for the day and to make Aiden strong and courageous for the day. Phaedra is having a hard time controlling her emotions.

Porsha is having Facetime or whatever with Oliver. Man, I just don’t like her. She’s like, oh no, all you can see my boobs from this angle – tee-hee-hee. Gag. She asks him if he’s ever had a Black girlfriend before and he hasn’t. She talks about working out and says she’s lost 7 pounds. He says he hopes it’s not from her butt. We flash back to her twerking in a thong the night she met him in Miami. (Ugh!) She asks if he’s ready for a relationship and the connection starts to break up. Ha-ha! What? I can’t hear you!

Kim is giving herself a manicure. She says she’s going out on a school night and is for real grown now.

I guess they’re all going to Kandi’s video release because Kandi is looking for something to wear. Todd jokes that he told Phaedra to bring a check. Kandi says don’t bring it up tonight and to be cordial.

No offense to Kim, but Kenya says that she looks like a confused prostitute from DisneyWorld and I tend to agree. She has on some sparkly black swing top with leather hotpants and thigh-high boots. It’s not that she can’t rock them, but um…her outfit really stands out. Peter tells Todd he can’t believe Phaedra hasn’t paid him yet. I can. I’ve been waiting three years for some money that my husband talked me into lending some acquaintances who turned out to be real jerks. Wish me luck. I’m hoping to get on People’s Court.

Kandi makes a speech about the video. Everyone is thanked for coming and the video gets its premiere. Kandi says everyone seems to like it and she thinks it will be a hit. And I guess Kandi ought to know since she’s had a few. Porsha makes some comments that I ignore because she knows nothing about anything.

Phaedra acts like she’s the big person and tells Todd they need to talk at some point. She then talks smack about him to Porsha and some other chick outside. She acts like just because she never released the video, she doesn’t owe him the money. She keeps talking about how Todd got paid for production, but she still owes him a balance. Because you know, if I buy a car and don’t drive it, I don’t have to make the payments any more. Idiots. They start talking about how the friendship between Phaedra and Kandi got messed up, and Porsha puts in some kind of two cents about how it must be Todd’s fault. DonJuan hears them and pops in out of nowhere.

DonJuan says he thinks a lot more than money broke up the friendship. Porsha says he shouldn’t be sticking his nose in. DonJuan tells them that they shouldn’t be gossiping outside of the event when Kandi was nice enough to invite them. He does a perfect impression of these nasty witches, even though they try to deny what they were doing. The group breaks up and DonJuan throws shade at them as they leave. Phaedra says she owes him no explanations because she doesn’t fraternize with her friends’ workers. Okay, Miss Daisy.

Hmm… No Sheree this week?

Next week, DonJuan lets fly to Kandi about Phaedra’s smack talk and Kenya meets with her father.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s the morning after the night before in Las Vegas. Tom has a beer in his hand already. I drank a few days ago and can’t even look at it. Tom and Schwartz got tattoos – Tom’s got an “A” made out of bacon and Schwartz got “Bubba,” both on their rear ends. Huh? I have nothing against tattoos, but…why? I guess I can see Tom’s A for Ariana, but in bacon? And is Katie’s nickname Bubba?

The girls are getting ready for another night at SUR. Katie says the guys will be chasing the clock, coming to SUR straight from Vegas, and Ariana says they’re going to be smelly and tired. Ariana is going to do some show where she and Tom are going to read from old diaries. This actually sounds kind of cool.

The guys are trying to get it together in the car. Ha-ha! Just wait until you’re older and those hangovers last for-ev-er. Lisa calls to see if they’re on their way and Jax says she’s not going to like the way they smell. Lisa meets them at the door and the Toms show her their tattoos. She says they always take stupidity to a whole new level and I concur.

Ariana shakes Tom down for Vegas winnings. Katie can’t believe Schwartz got Bubba tattooed on his ass. I’m hoping this is some kind of joke between them. She says she thinks she likes it, but she hopes he never goes to prison. Ariana asks if Tom and Schwarta got married too. Ha-ha! Ariana, who is not into tattoos, isn’t impressed.

Scheana says out of all the terrible decisions they could have made, getting tattoos is the best of them. Good point. Jax says that Britney is coming to live with him and he can’t escape the girlfriend question anymore. He adds that Kristen is the only single one now. He wants to plan a dual birthday trip with Tom and ask Kristen to join them. Scheana says Kristen is a lot of fun, but they agree to keep it on the down low for now. Kristen is batsh*t crazy and Scheana is delusional.

Tom’s mother is coming for a visit and Ariana puts her bong in the closet. Ariana’s bong, not Tom’s mom’s bong. They have dinner at SUR (where else?) and Terri (Tom’s mother) talks about the first time Tom was in a talent show, with all the other entrants being girls, and won first place. Tom says he takes after his mother. He introduces her to Lisa. Terri is a firefighter and Tom says that’s where he gets his tough side. Tom talks about Terri getting locked out of the house and says it was like Jurassic Park when she kicked down the door. Ariana tells Terri he also brought home a souvenir from Vegas and he confesses about his tattoo.

Kristen is out for drinks with Jax to ask him for dating advice. She claims not to be a crazy bitch any more, but this remains to be seen. She says she has legit things to talk to Ariana about and she already sounds kind of manic. She says she’s been in therapy for a whole 9 months and she’s’ all better now. I’m thinking she needs a few more years on that couch. Maybe forever.

Kristen says she’s been dating broke musicians and is ready for something new. She and Jax mingle in between shots. Kristen kisses some guy and Jax makes a “woo!” sound, but I didn’t think it was a “woo!” moment at all.

Lisa calls Katie “Bubba,” so it must be a joke between her and Schwartz. Ariana says at least he’s making a commitment. Lisa asks if she’d rather have a tattoo on the ass or a ring on string, and she says the tattoo, so Lisa says there’s been progress.

Lala asks James how he’s doing. Apparently they’ve been making out here and there, but they haven’t “sealed the deal.” It sounds like Lala just wants to be friends with make out benefits. James asks her to stop hanging out with Jax, but she says she’ll hang out with who she wants to. James tells her about the Tom tattoos and she tells him about the girls’ slumber party and make out session. She says when she has tequila, she’ll make out with anyone and that Scheana is the best kisser. James suggests the go out for Margaritas.

Katie is on a break, and she and Kristen are chatting. Katie says she’s okay with Kristen now. Kristen says she’d like to apologize to Ariana and SUR is the only place she knows she’ll see her. Kristen says she doesn’t expect them to be friends, but she hangs out with Ariana’s friends so it might make things less awkward.

Kristen goes into SUR and asks Ariana for a drink. Ariana says she doesn’t feel comfortable serving Kristen alcohol. Kristen apologizes and says she was immature and selfish. Ariana says it doesn’t excuse anything. They go back and forth, and in the end Kristen says her actions will speak louder than her words. She says she doesn’t expect to be friends with Ariana. Ariana says her friends are intelligent, wonderful and funny and Kristen is none of those things. She says she doesn’t trust Kristen and would like her to keep her distance. Kristen apologizes again and leaves. In her individual interview, Ariana says Kristen is not that smart, but she’s calculating and Ariana doesn’t trust her in the least. I feel the same way.

Tom says Ariana reminds him of his mom since they’re both straight-up, no bs people. Ariana says she wishes they could hang out some more, but Terri says she’ll come back again. Ariana talks about the diary show she and Tom are doing, and we flash back to some old pictures of Tom doing modeling. Terri asks to see Tom’s tattoo. Everyone hates it, including Tom. Terri says how good Ariana and Tom are together. Tom says Kristen had been his biggest hater even though she was his girlfriend. Ariana tells them about Kristen’s apology and Terri says it’s been good of them to take the high road.

Schwartz goes to a modeling gig, which he says is better than bartending. I’ll take his word for it, since I’ve done neither. Schwartz is a little flabby, so he suggests they spray some abs on him. I guess he’s good at this. I really don’t know. Katie comes to the shoot and sits with Tom while he’s on break. Katie talks about Jax’s upcoming party and says she’s been getting along with Kristen and would like to see her invited. She talks about Tom and Ariana acting like Stassi in regard to Kristen, but I don’t see how you can compare the two.

Tom and Ariana go to the diary show. I didn’t realize it was on stage. Tom jokes that his readings will be like the Dead Sea Scrolls, affecting the world years from now when they’re discovered. This reminds me of the way off Broadway stuff I did when I was first in NYC.  Ariana starts to read and some of it is pretty funny. Jax doesn’t get it. No surprise there. I don’t think his IQ is incredibly high. When it’s Tom’s turn, he says he didn’t keep a diary, but brings a journal of old song lyrics he wrote. This is actually a pretty good idea and I could see being involved with this. Except for this part. Tom shows everyone his tattoo.

Al l the peeps have shown up for support. Afterwards, they’re hanging out at the bar. Lala is talking to Jax and James comes in, giving her a million kisses. James brings her a drink. There’s a bunch of stupid stuff between the three of them that isn’t even worth typing.

They all go to someone’s apartment and eat pizza. Tom talks about the joint birthday party he and Jax want to throw. Jax says something about inviting Kristen and Tom practically freaks just thinking about it. Someone mentions that enough time has passed, but Ariana says that’s no one else’s call. Truth. Katie calls Tom “Stassi,” but that’s not fair. Stassu was an a-hole who tried to dictate who Katie’s friends were. And she did have a point with Kristen, who slept with Jax (Stassi’s then boyfriend) and lied about it, all the while pretending to be Stassi’s best friend. Tom wonders why he’s being questioned when Kristen is an emotional and mental liability. Katie seems to think he should be over it.

Tom gets loud and everyone calls him a nut.

Next time, Britney arrives and Schwartz gets a ring for Katie.

Hope everyone’s Christmas wishes came true! Ho-ho-ho!

Dec23

December 22, 2015 — Port Charles & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

We come in a little late because ABC news can’t wait.

Hayden and Nicholas arrive at the gala. I’m confused since it seemed like it was wrapping up at the end of yesterday’s episode.

Sam is sorry she told Jason that she doesn’t love Patrick the same as she loves him. He’s like, no worries, because he’s dense and doesn’t understand how she’s feeling.

Idiot Elizabeth wonders where Jason and Sam are. Can’t this witch give it a rest? I hope someone dumps the punchbowl over her head. She also sobered up the quickest I’ve ever seen anyone do it.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous ring in the middle of the basically empty gala. Why he didn’t give it to her when he actually proposed is a mystery to me.

Jordan arrives late. She tells Maxie she heard that Paul was the keynote speaker and says the DA has a talent for keeping people happy.

He’s about to make Ava happy, that’s for sure. And where does she find these amazing earrings? (She’s not wearing much else, so they really stand out.)

Michael tells Sabrrrina they need to talk about the baby. He says everyone keeps saying how big the baby is and he wants to know if there’s a reason why. Is there something in the Port Charles water system that makes people thick in the head? Duh. Why does he think that might be?

Patrick sees Robins body on a slab in a mausoleum (that just happens to be on the grounds). I don’t think she’s really dead though because I can see her breathing. Geez. Patrick kisses her and this is reminding me of the end of Romeo and Juliet, so I’m thinking maybe she took something to make herself appear dead.

Robert and Anna have their guns on Jerry. I guess his lackeys flew the coop without him.

Robin opens her eyes. Surprise! Maybe she can go home now. Or at least have a bathroom break.

OMG THEY’RE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF CHAMPAGNE AT THE GALA    ! Get with it, Carly.

Alexis and Julian make googly eyes at each other and Julian gets the last two glasses of champagne for a toast. Very thoughtful of him to take the last two.

Elizabeth asks Molly if she’s seen Sam. What’s wrong with her? Never mind. It’s too long a list. Molly says she thinks Sam left.

Jason says he wishes he could love Sam the way she needs him to. She says she’s made peace with it and when she says she loves him, she means she loves the life they once had together. He asks what now, and she says they can start off being friends and take it from there.

Paul says there’s so much going on at the gala, he won’t be missed. That’s funny, since there are so few people wandering around, it looks like the end of a high school dance. Ava asks if he’s going to be seen with a known criminal now or is he going to arrest her? He says he’s going to make sure she stays right where she is.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that he was there when Dr. Lee said the baby is fine. He says that’s not what he’s talking about and Monica said the baby is due in a few weeks. He asks if he’s the baby’s father and she says no. Good for her. And good for him, finally figuring it out.

Robin asks what Patrick is doing there. He says Jerry told them she was dead and she explains she took a drug to fool Jerry and that one of the guards helped her. She suggests they get the blip out of there.

Hayden tells Nicholas that a man who knows what he wants and won’t back down is incredibly sexy. She adds they’re in enemy territory, but she wants everyone to know she’s here to stay.

Jason asks if he and Sam could really be friends, since technically they’re past that. He says he wouldn’t call it just friendship. She asks what he wants to do. He says he doesn’t know, but do they have to call it anything and can’t they just be there together. Did they run out of dialogue?

Carly rsees Elizabeth. She tells Elizabeth that Jason and Sam are being all close and to leave them alone. She notices Elizabeth is still wearing the engagement ring and tells her to take it off.

Ava is all tied up. Literally. Looks like we’re going 50 Shades of Grey here.

Jerry says his problem is he’s too generous and he should have shot them on sight. He starts babbling about some restaurant in Rome and Anna asks Robert to get someone to take him away before she shoots him. Robert calls for reinforcements.

Patrick explains how he, Anna and Robert got there. Robin asks about Emma and he says she’s fine. Robin says she’s sorry for lying and she never stopped loving him. She says she understands he’s with Sam now and she doesn’t want to interfere with his new life. Anna is looking for Patrick and he calls to her. She sees Robin and is pretty startled. Lots of hugs.

Anna says she thought she’d lost Robin again and Robin says she can’t get rid of her that easy. Robin explains how the guard helped her to fake her death. Anna says they’ll make sure the guy who helped gets amnesty, but they’re going to put Jerry away forever. Robin says she’s been dreaming of this day.

Michael asks Sabrrrina if she was cheating on him. She says it was just a onetime thing. Then idiot Michael asks if she picked someone up at a bar because that must be the only answer. She says no and he finally gets a clue that it’s Carrrlos’s baby.

Elizabeth says she’ll take the ring off when she’s good and ready, and that Carly has no idea who Jason is now. Carly tells her how stupid she is and she’d best not drag Jason back into her delusional world.

Tracy tells Monica that Paul has a surprise for her. I think she’s going to be surprised, but I don’t think Paul is the one who set it up.

Dillon makes a speech about Toys for Tots and introduces India Arie. She sings Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, which is one of my favorites. If you’ve never seen Judy Garland sing it in Meet Me in St. Louis, it’s actually a sad song. India also looks smashing in a glittery gold number with a feathered turban.

During the song, we get snippets of what everyone is doing and Elizabeth goes up on the roof, where I can only hope she’s going to throw herself off.

Apparently, the surprise is a key to the same hotel room where Paul and Ava are going at it and Tracy walks in. Surprise all around and I wonder if it’s Ava who sent her the key.

Jerry is arrested. The inspector, or whatever he is, tells Robert that the local police will be there soon. Jerry says Robin could have made millions with her research, but she was too altruistic. Save it, Jerry. Anna comes in and says nothing about Robin being alive. After Jerry is taken away, she tells Robert to come with her.

Emma is probably going to need therapy for the rest of her life.

Sabrrrina admits it’s Carrrlos’s baby. Michael asks why she lied. She says it’s because she loves him and she wanted him to be the baby’s father. He says, but he’s not and that if Carrrlos wasn’t dead already, he’d kill him.

Paul tries to present Tracy with a gift of a pin commemorating their hard work on the gala. It’s not going over too well.

Sam asks what they’re going to do now. She says she and Danny are busy until after Christmas and after that who knows. Sam gets a call from her mom and Jason says they’ll pick this up later. She leaves. The revolving door happens and Nicholas and Hayden come out on the balcony.

Robert reunites with Robin. Anna suggests they get out of “this hellish place.”

Tracy says she should have realized that Paul was the same selfish bastard he always was. She wonders what his constituents are going to think about him being in bed with a criminal.

Michael says that Sabrrrina must not think much of him, since he would have loved the baby as his own. Uh-oh. Sabrrrina slips and says she thought Carrrlos was dead. She corrects herself and dum-dum Michael just shrugs it off. He says if he hadn’t shown the sono to Monica, he might never have known. She asks if there’s any way they can put this behind them and still be a family. Oh what a tangled web we weave and all that.

Carly asks Sam how things went. Sam says she and Jason managed to connect, but things are different. Carly says Jason is still the same inside and Sam has to fight for him. Sam says they’re going to figure things out together.

Nicholas tells Jason he should thank him. He says that Elizabeth loved him and now that he knows the truth, what has he gained? He says his grip on ELQ is iron clad and asks if Jason is going back to his old life working for Sonny. Nicholas pretty much sucker punches Jason.

Robin tells Patrick how much she’s missed Emma and that she’s spent every waking moment wishing she could get back home. She tells him she wants him to be happy with Sam and he tells her they broke up. He says they have a lot of catching up, but there’s plenty of time to do it. He says they have the rest of their lives.

Sabrrina says she lied because she wanted the baby to have the best possible father and she loves him. She says they can still be a family, but it looks like Michael isn’t having any.

Tracy calls Paul a lying, selfish, pathetic shell of a man. She tells him they might share a son, but she never wants to see him again and storms out. Ava tells Paul he’d better hope Tracy doesn’t tell anyone.

Maxie, Dillon, Nina and Franco toast to Crimson’s coverage of the gala. Nina says let’s go the office now and check out the photos.

Wah-wah-wah. Elizabeth takes off her ring.

Jason clocks Nicholas. Whoops! The next punch sends Nicholas off the roof.

Tomorrow, repercussions from that punch.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! LisaV was pretty upset about the mini horse having leg problems, so some friends of hers (Frank, Tina and Houston) have gotten her another mini horse. It arrives with its companion, a baby mini horse, and they’re both the most adorable things on earth. Lisa now officially has 8 swans, 7 dogs and 2 mini horses. I guarantee, these horses are going to have the best lives ever. I’m still trying to figure out how to get Lisa and Ken to adopt me.

Erika is on the phone with her husband, Tom. She says they talk briefly four or five times a day, but he’s a pretty busy guy. They make plans to meet for dinner. Erika says Tom has always been supportive of her career as Erika Jayne and never told her what to do, but she doesn’t tell him how to practice law either.

She’s trying on some costumes – mostly netting with sparkly things to cover her lady parts. She’s having a hard time squeezing into one of them. She says every woman has a bit of Erika Jayne inside of her dying to get out. Yeah, if I could squeeze into that costume myself, she’d get out.

Eileen and husband Vince meet for lunch. All of these people work so much, it seems to be the norm. Meet you for a meal somewhere. Eileen talks about how Vince’s dad, Dick Van Patten, went to the track all of the time with his friends. His motto was: tennis in the morning, poker in the evening, racing in the afternoon. Vince has been to the races and swears Dick was with him, since he won $600.

Eileen apologizes to Vince for being bitchy. She says sometimes it seems like he has all this freedom, while she’s running around handling everything. He says she shouldn’t attack him first thing in the morning. She says women see it as expressing themselves, but men see it as an attack. Eileen is pretty astute about male/female relationships. He says they shouldn’t talk about anything until 9ish. She says it would be hard to hold it in until then. Eileen says she’s a lot more accommodating than Vince is. She didn’t say those words, but I’m translating the wife language.

LisaR is out for lunch with her daughters. Everyone gets salads. Sigh. The family takes a trip to Canada every summer where Harry used to vacation as a boy. She says instead of sending the kids to camp, they have their own camp. She says raising teenagers ain’t for sissies. I believe her. Lisa says she doesn’t even listen to them anymore and it’s like ♫ la-la-la ♫.

Kyle and daughters go to get ear piercing. The eldest daughter is getting an extra piercing and the littlest is getting hers done. I didn’t pierce my ears until I moved away from home. Kyle says teenage daughters are experts at manipulation. The older one getting the extra hole is being a total baby. Geez, I used self-piercers and pushed them through early because I got impatient. Way to freak out the little one too. Oh, I see, the little one (Portia) only has one ear done and is getting the other one. This probably happened the last time. Looks like she’s sticking with just one this time too.

LisaV calls Ken to the back yard and tells him happy birthday. Lisa’s friends are waiting with the little horses. Ken tries to act happy, but in his individual interview, he says he knows he’s going to be picking up a lot of poop. You’d think they’d hire someone for that, but they are pretty down-to-earth. Lisa says Ken is speechless. Yep.

Yolanda says she hasn’t done anything and she’s exhausted. Erika and Tom come over for a visit. Yolanda says they’ve really been there for her. David is joining them (schmuck). Erika says it’s good to see Yolanda smiling. David says he has to go to Europe soon for some kind of Andre Bocelli thing with the Pope. Yolanda suggests Erika perform with David, but Erika says she’d probably burst into flames. Erika explains that Erika Jayne isn’t exactly Pope material.

Kyle comes to pick up Portia from her acting coach. Kyle says Portia is the only one who’s expressed an interest In acting and she wants to be supportive. She says she got into acting by default, because when her parents divorced, they needed the income. (Way to take care of the family, dad.) She says it will be better for Portia since it will be something fun and not a job. Kyle says for her it was a positive experience, but it’s not for everyone. No kidding. She talks about Kim feeling more pressure, and that people point at her being a child actress as the reason for her addictive behavior, but she thinks either you are or you aren’t, and I agree.

Yolanda is looking forward to being with David so they can “reconnect their souls.” I feel sick because I know they’re divorcing now. She has a whole slate of supplements she takes and says that if someone told her to eat bark, she would because if she goes down, she wants to go down fighting.

LisaR is trying to do Facetime or something with Harry. She’s juggling the phone and the iPad, and I can’t really figure out what she’s doing. She says that technology isn’t her friend. Apparently so. Harry and the girls are already in Canada, but Lisa’s going back and forth because she’s working. She has a QVC clothing line and is very proactive. She’s not one of those celebrities that just stick their name on something.

Commercial break and important information – Vanderpump Rules will be on Sunday.

Yolanda enjoys being out in the country with David. (Oddly enough, they’re also in Canada.) They’re in a beautiful lake area surrounded by mountains, and I’m thinking he doesn’t deserve this – or her. She says her illness has been very taxing on the relationship. She says he gets impatient, but she understands because they used to do everything together. They go out on a speedboat.

LisaV is having a coming out party for the mini horses. LisaR shows up first. She says if anyone should be first, it’s her, and she feels a sense of entitlement here. Giggy! Ken says it’s been a long birthday and LisaR says I’ll bet. Kyle arrives next and Ken leaves with my precious Giggy. Kyle gets kind of annoyed because the girls always bring up Kim. LisaV says something about Kim trashing her on Twitter and calling her a phony. She says she tweeted back that she’s always been supportive of Kim. I’m wondering why all these adults are on Twitter so much. LisaR flashes back to the reunion where Kim said she wouldn’t do anything for a buck, then they show a clip from Sharknado 3.

LisaR says she was looking at Instagram pictures of Yolanda in Vancouver and Yolanda was looking good. She says she’s wondering what Yolanda is trying to accomplish with confusing pictures, that one minute she’s got needles in her arm and looking sick, and the next she’s on a yacht having the time of her life. She says people are questioning it and it’s awkward. In her individual interview, Kyle suggests LisaR should probably keep it to herself.

Lisa brings up Munchausen’s Syndrome and reads the definition. LisaR says that it’s something people can create themselves, making themselves sick even though they’re not. Kyle says Yolanda’s symptoms match a lot of things. Eileen arrives and LisaV suggests they change the subject.

Eileen says she can tell something’s up, so what is it. She asks LisaR for an abridged version. Lisa explains how she was telling them about people questioning Yolanda and the Instagram photos. Is this turning into a Brooks thing? LisaV says they’re probably people who don’t know her and LisaR feels guilty for not having Yolanda’s back. She thinks she should say something to Yolanda, but LisaV thinks that’s a bad idea. So do I.

The ladies see the horses and there’s a lot of squeeing. Kyle says it was built up so much, she expected them to be about Barbie sized. They’re making the poor horses nervous and the horses ditch them. LisaR tells Kyle that she feels badly about saying something regarding Yolanda.

Next week, a swan bites Ken and Eileen approaches Yolanda. Erika also says her husband is 76, but I honestly wouldn’t have guessed he was that old.

I dunno. Is it possible some of these reality stars could be manufacturing illnesses because of a need for attention? I don’t think I’d ever question it, since there are illnesses where people have good days and bad days, and don’t necessarily look sick. That’s actually a pet peeve of mine when someone says, “Well, you don’t look sick.” Well, you don’t look like a sick person just gave you a black eye.

Dec21

December 20, 2015 — Lonely Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

No Once Upon A Time tonight due to The Sound of Music singalong version of the film. I shudder at the thought of this and I like The Sound of Music. Oh the irony of the movie title in this case. No Walking Dead either; another Into the Badlands marathon. And speaking of marathons, I hope those of you who get the Chiller channel have been enjoying Z Nation this weekend.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

The ladies invite Glen, Jaron and Oliver back to the ranch rental place. While they’re on the boat, Porsha gets the bright idea to play “Never Have I Ever” which sounds like a game she just made up so they can have sex talk with strangers. Never have I ever heard of it before. Cynthia says she’s learned her lesson about drinking on boats and is going to quit while she’s ahead. In her individual interview, Kandi says something about Porsha having thrown her boyfriend Duke a big party five minutes ago, and now she’s inviting dudes back to the house.

They hang out at the pool. Glen says something to Kandi about having attitude. I have no idea what he’s talking about and Kandi is obviously pregnant, so keep it to yourself. Porsha has on a barely there bikini and is shaking her booty and twerking all over the place. She has her eye on Oliver. She tells him how she doesn’t need a man for support and I laugh since her quick move on to the next guy is because Duke hasn’t paid enough attention to her lately since he’s on the road.

Glen is a bit of a d-bag. Kenya puts it out there, saying he’s erratic and crazy. His aunt, Tammy, is pretty drunk, and Kenya asks her to have him leave, but she doesn’t seem capable of that. Porsha, who started this whole thing, says she sees it’s getting messy, so she’s going to escort Oliver out and call it a night. Nice.

Kenya tells Glen he’s being weird and is making people uncomfortable so he has to leave. He advances on her and security comes out. When Tammy tries to talk to him, he knocks her to the floor. Geez, what up wit dat? Security takes Glen down. I mean they wrestle him down; they didn’t shoot him or anything.

Tammy comes to and asks where Glen is. Cynthia feels badly because she brought Tammy on the trip. Kenya says only the person behaving badly is responsible for their own behavior. The police escort Glen out and Tammy goes to the hospital. Somehow this all becomes Kenya’s fault with Porsha, Sheree and Phaedra. They claim the reason Kenya wanted Glen to leave was because he wasn’t interested in her. Sheree says she added fuel to the fire, and Kim says that if you shake a hornet’s nest, hornets are going to attack you, but this is a guy, not an insect nest. I don’t see as Kenya did anything wrong. She was being a little silly at first, but she had every reason to want those guys gone. They were getting drunk, unpredictable and insulting.

Kim’s had enough and decides to go to a hotel. When the girls start picking on Kenya, Kandi sticks up for her saying that Glen was weirding her out. When Kandi talks to Todd on the phone, he isn’t happy that she put herself in that position. She tells Kenya that Tammy came back to the house later and she can’t believe Kenya slept through it. Kenya says Tammy must have jumped the gate, and it’s like something out of a horror movie. “Girl, this is not Children of the Corn Rows,” she adds.

Someone has this reappearance filmed on their phone. Tammy comes to the door in a robe and hospital socks. Security ended up taking her to a hotel because they didn’t want the guys back on the property. In her individual interview, Cynthia objects to the video, but when she sees it, she’s laughing along with everyone else. Kandi goes home and Kenya says pretty soon it’s going to be just her and Porsha there.

Phaedra is still blaming Kenya for that idiot Glen. Sheree says that it’s wrong to label people and she and Phaedra get in a conversation about labeling African American men as aggressive and how this can make people afraid and unnecessary deaths happen. They say that the men are already an endangered species and Kenya was like any white suburbanite acting afraid. Huh?  That sure sounds like a label to me. And I don’t even know how they got there from this incident because Glen was wrong and deserved to get kicked out.

Cynthia calls Tammy and asks how things at the hospital went. She has a concussion, but other than that she’s peachy keen. Phaedra invites her for dinner. I’m assuming sans Glen.

Porsha has rented a couple of mini Hummers for the girls to get around the city. They look something like golf carts without roofs.

Kim is back home where she belongs and is strolling in the park with her husband and kids. For someone who works in show business, she certainly can’t handle much outside of the house. Husband Chris (who is really quite funny) talks about not liking her being in a dangerous environment. Kim says Kenya tried to stir the pot again, and wonders if she’s going to be removed next. Not too much overreaction and paranoia. Kim says Kenya wanted to work with her, but she’s not so sure she wants to now and that she’s starting to like Kenya’s friends more than Kenya. What is wrong with these women? Did they see the same thing I did?

Porsha has a date with Oliver and Phaedra suggests she spray fragrance around her private area. I don’t suggest that anyone do this.

Cynthia says ever since she brought up her marriage issues with Peter, that’s all anyone wants to talk about. She calls Peter and says she’ll be home tomorrow and they can go out to dinner. Zzzzz…

Oliver and Porsha go to a fancy restaurant. There’s some flirtatious talk, but when Oliver moves in for a kiss, Porsha acts like she’s never heard of it. She does give him a kiss at the end of the meal for dessert. I don’t get her roll, but Oliver seems to like it. Everyone is sleeping when she gets home, so she wakes them up. She says the date was amazing and Oliver likes to talk. Cynthia says their own evening of cooking at home was blessedly uneventful.

Phaedra says if they could forget about almost everything, it was a great trip.

Todd’s daughter, Kaela, has moved back to Atlanta and Todd teases her about having a boyfriend that she’s been “making googly eyes at” on Instagram. Kandi tells Todd about the trip and says the communication between her and Phaedra seems better. She says that Phaedra has a split personality – one prim and proper, and one that has a good time – and she picked the latter to stick with on the trip.

Kim and Kenya go out to lunch. Kim says Kenya should be proud because she’s done a girl’s night out and a trip with them. Kenya says it was only a half trip to Miami though. Kenya thinks Kim really just wanted to get home to her family, but Kim continues to blame Kenya for the situation with Glen, saying that she was manufacturing drama. Did Kim have blinders on? It wasn’t like Kenya forced him to be an aggressive moron. Kim says that she didn’t want to take part in Kenya provoking someone. We flash back to Glen acting like an a-hole. Kenya says he was acting in a threatening way and that Kim wasn’t in the Jacuzzi with them. She says that she could see that if he kept drinking, it would have escalated. Kim says maybe that’s her truth, but at the end o the day she didn’t feel safe. Kenya says she appreciates the honesty. Kim says as long as there’s mutual respect and they can agree to disagree “like grown folk,” she’s okay with that.

Next week, Mr. President starts kindergarten and Phaedra is called out for her workout video that wasn’t.

Dec16

December 15, 2015 — No GH, But Lots of Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Not that I don’t realize I’m mostly writing this for my own amusement, just in case, I have no General Hospital recap today. It was on, but I was also on the phone with a friend who is ill with pulmonary fibrosis. She’s bedridden and will eventually succumb to the disease, so she trumps everything with the exception of a house fire.

I did have it on though, and it doesn’t look like it was too exciting. The takeaway points I got from the muted TV were that Johnny did nothing to Valerie – yet. He “fixed” her car and gained her trust so that she won’t suspect what’s coming; and Elizabeth told Carly what happened and I’m sure Carly did cartwheels in her head.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaV and Kyle are enjoying shopping in Italy. Kyle says it’s fun shopping in Europe because you can get things you can’t get in the US. In other words, make your friends jealous with something they can’t run out and buy. She still needs to find a dress for Nicky’s wedding, which just boggles my mind considering how many dresses she already owns. She should have known she was going to end up re-invited. Lisa says Kyle isn’t in an easy position because of the family drama. She says because she doesn’t have any sisters, it’s hard for her to totally get it.

LisaR is taking her daughters for mani/pedis.  One of the girls wants to stay out past 11 and Lisa says that nothing good happens for a teenager after 11 pm, but she agrees. I always thought it was midnight, but okay. She says with teenagers, it’s negotiation all day long. She tells the girls about LisaV getting the tiny horse for Ken’s birthday.

Eileen has the same problem we all do. Vince likes to sit around while she’s busting a move getting kids ready and cleaning up before she goes to work. Soap stars, they’re just like us! Her son, Jesse, had been home schooled in a co-op the previous year, so she’s nervous about him going back to regular school. She says she doesn’t know what it is with men but they don’t hear a female voice. Then she ends up repeating herself and becomes annoying to herself. Soap stars! So much like us it’s sad!

LisaV and Ken are going to Monte Carlo, while Kyle goes on to London for Nicky’s wedding. Giggy! Ken is going to be 70 soon, so Lisa is not only getting him the smallest horse in the world, she’s planning a big birthday lunch.

Yolanda is having a vitamin C IV to boost her immune system. She says she’s pretty much done it all at this point. Her friend, new Housewife Erika, is going with her. Erika doesn’t look too pleased about that needle going in though. She says next time she takes a needle with Yolanda, it had better be Botox. What’s going to happen years from now when they find out what putting botulism close to your brain really does? Remember when your mother telling you that your face was going to freeze like that was a bad thing?

LisaR and Eileen meet for lunch. They’re both wearing leopard prints, so Lisa leaves her jacket on. Kyle joins them. Kyle says the trip was great, the wedding was magical, but she’s glad to be home. Eileen asks about Kim. Kyle says she’s in rehab, but she doesn’t know much else. We flash back to Kim’s craziness. Eileen says she thought Kim escaped. Lisa says the word used was “fled.” I thought she just checked herself out and then went on to shoplift. They talk a little about Kim getting nailed for drunk and disorderly at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Kyle feels a little uncomfortable talking about it and I can understand that.

Eileen says Yolanda isn’t looking too good. Kyle says if Yolanda is doing everything with no improvement, maybe she needs to consider it’s not Lyme disease. Kyle talks again about how she had so many symptoms after her mother died and it turned out to be depression.

The two Lisas are going to pick up the horse in Ohio. LisaV has told Ken she’s having a spa day. They fly to Ohio in a small chartered plane that looks pretty comfortable on the inside. LisaR says “yee-ha!” when they get there, but LisaV says she doesn’t think this is yee-ha country. Being from Ohio, I concur. While they’re in the limo, a huge thunderstorm comes up and LisaR hopes it isn’t a sign from God.

New Housewife Erika was a broke waitress when she met her husband, who had been her customer for a year before she gave him her number. He’s a famous lawyer who was involved in the Erin Brochovich case. She says being broke sucks and being rich is better, but it doesn’t change anyone. If you were an a-hole to begin with, you’re a rich a-hole, and the same if you’re a sweetheart. Erika says she’s been called a golddigger and knew it was coming because of the age difference. They’ve been married 15 and a half years though, and it sure looks legit to me.

The tiny horse, Rosebud, is wearing a tutu and I squee. So do the two Lisas. LisaR says she can’t wait for Rosebud to be a part of the family and thinks Ken is going to love her. Who wouldn’t love the tiniest horse in the world? LisaR says the horse is a little fat. LisaV says don’t say that because the horse might hear. Rosebud doesn’t seem to walk quite evenly, but the owner says she’s fine. The two Lisas aren’t so sure though.

The owner says if there were going to be problems, Rosebud would have exhibited them by now. Hmm…isn’t favoring a leg a problem? The two Lisas confer and LisaV says she wants to take Rosebud home, but she isn’t sure if she can handle a horse that will have future issues. She calls Ken and tells him what’s going on. So much for the surprise. LisaR says she can see LisaV has fallen for the horse. LisaV decides that she’s going to have a vet look at the horse and if all is well, have the horse delivered. They can’t get to the alcohol fast enough.

Giggy! Even though the surprise has been spoiled, but Ken is okay with that. I’m sure when it comes to Lisa, he’s probably okay with just about anything.

Erika says her alter ego is Erika Jayne. Apparently, she’s a video artist and says she’s had 8 number one hits on the Billboard dance charts. She’s meeting with her fashion designer and then having a rehearsal. I’ve never heard of her, but it looks like she knows her stuff.

LisaV is preparing for the birthday lunch with Kevin Lee helping. No surprise, everything looks fabulous. Lisa has a hat tree for the ladies to select a beautiful hat to wear. The lunch is being held in one of the gardens. Taylor shows up with her new husband. “Here comes a certain amount of trouble,” Lisa says. Taylor is moving back to Beverly Hills and says there’s a house available on Lisa’s street. Lisa says, no.

LisaR shows up with a pony on a stick like little kids play with. Lots of Giggy since Ken is carrying him around, along with another Pomeranian wearing clothing. I wonder if they took in another pup with alopecia. Camille and Kyle arrive and they talk a bit about the little horse. Kyle thinks it’s a possibility the horse might be pregnant and now that she said it…um…yeah.

Rain clouds threaten to ruin things, but they sit down to lunch. Taylor brings up how Yolanda’s selfies look happy one day and not so much the next. There’s some discussion about Yolanda’s treatments, and Taylor intimates maybe she’s not really sick. Both Lisas think she’s overstepping a bit.

LisaV makes a toast to Ken. She says she’s spent half his life with him and he continues to inspire her. At the end, she adds that he “might be 70 in a few days, but I guarantee you’ll be staying at 69 very soon.” That’s a direct quote, so don’t blame me for what you can’t unhear.  I actually think they have an amazing marriage and wish I had married an older rich guy.

It finally starts to rain, so they move indoors. A few of the ladies stay outside under a gazebo. Kyle decides to wade in the infinity pool and Eileen joins her. The Lisas follow and soon everyone is in the pool with their clothes on.  LisaV says it was an elegant English garden party and suddenly it turned into wet and wild. Ken gets dragged in too, and she adds that with him floating in a pool surrounded by a gaggle of gorgeous women, he’s not likely to forget his birthday anytime soon.

Next week we see what Ken ends up getting for his birthday and some of the ladies discuss the possibility that Yolanda has Munchhausen’s Syndrome.

Dec14

December 13, 2015 — Ash, Andy & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

For the next couple of weeks, much of the regular programming will be trumped by holiday cheer. Like the annual showing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, where poor Rudolph gets abused by mean Santa. Tonight, Once Upon a Time was eclipsed by a special on the original Disney animated classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and The Walking Dead was replaced by an Into the Badlands marathon, another show well worth watching.

So I was left with a couple of bits and pieces and the usual nonsense from Atlanta.

 Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Now that Bruce Campbell has finally succumbed to the will of the fans, he has realized that he is Ash and will be forever more. Gory slapstick mixed with the shaky camera we’ve all come to know and love, this show will never win an Emmy, but as Bill Murray once so beautifully put it, it just doesn’t matter. Starz has thrown us a gruesome bone in the wasteland that is weekend programming, and I’m grateful.

Then & Now with Andy Cohen

If you can catch this show, do. I love the retrospectives. One of my favorite parts of New Year’s Eve is always what I’ve christened, the roll call of the celebrity dead. I also enjoy any trip down Memory Lane involving a year or decade I remember. Andy Cohen is a good choice to host one of these programs because he’s a lover of pop culture who has made himself part of pop culture.

This particular show is about 1994, “the year pop culture pushed back.” That actually sounds like a nonsense statement, and I at first I wondered what was so special about 1994. Actually, a lot. It’s the year that gave us Tonya and Nancy, OJ’s slow speed chase, the suicide of Kurt Cobain, and so much more.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra, Porsha and a wannabe are going shopping. Porsha talks about working on a Miami trip for the ladies with Kenya. Meanwhile, Sheree, Kandi and Kenya are exploring the still unfinished “Moore Manor,” Kenya tells Kandi it’s a Cynthia re-do, since the boat trip went so horribly wrong. Kim is coming along, which is surprising, for the same reason.

Another Wife Wannabe, Tammy, is joining them on the trip. Kenya uses her phone cam when they board the plane, and we get to see them trying to cram things into the overhead that won’t fit unless Willy Wonka comes by with his shrinking machine.

After the fastest flight in history, they take a limo to the house Kenya rented. Estate really. They’ve decided that since Kandi is pregnant, she can have the master bedroom. Surprisingly thoughtful of them. The house has an infinity pool that I would be spending all my time in. Porsha’s wannabe friend, Shemia (who Kenya keeps calling things like “Shimmy Shimmy Koko Bop” and “Sheneneh”), has met them at the house. Lots of wannabes in this episode. There are two living rooms, and Kim decides she’s sleeping in one of them. I’ll bet the TV has a lot to do with that decision. The others are like, why would you want to sleep in the living room? but hey, it’s her vacation too. And I’m guessing, like me, she hasn’t had one since 1987, so let her set up camp in the living room if she wants to.

I have no doubt that, as usual, this gorgeous luxury spot will be wasted on this bunch.

Tammy sits down to talk to Kim in her living room space, while Kenya entertain the others with imitations of Kim. Apparently, Tammy is an acquired taste, but Cynthia says she’ll take quirky and weird over mean nasty and shade throwing any day. Kenya says that Tammy (who’s friends with Sheree’s ex-husband) intimated that Sheree was a gold-digger. Sheree seems to think she also slept with him.

The ladies gather for dinner at a fancy restaurant where they have a private back room. The servers start bringing weird things to the table, like a Viking helmet for Kenya to wear, a toaster and what looks like fondue. Kim makes an announcement that she might not make it through the whole trip because she might get homesick. Huh? In her individual interview Kim says she’s out of her element and needs to rise above her feelings. What?

Cynthia says Neanderthal Peter is making an effort to win her back. They’re talking about their significant others and Tammy says she’s been married 13 years and everything is still great. Sheree makes noises about being unhappy with her presence. Tammy says yes, she’s friends with Bob (the ex), and she feels he was treated unfairly during the divorce as far as seeing his kids went. Sheree asks if she slept with Bob. Tammy is like, are you joking? She says she’s not even attracted to him. Sheree says Bob told her differently and Tammy says that’s news to her. Sheree says she was told Tammy didn’t like her and had told Bob not to marry her. Kim can’t believe “grown ass women” are talking like this. Get used to it if you’re going to be on this show. Kim says there’s a difference between information and instigation. Kenya says sometimes people just need to clear the air of old stuff.

Porsha has set up another boat trip. Really? Kim and Phaedra are talking and Kim says it’s hard to tell if Kenya is being genuine or not, and that people can air their grievances without being messy. Kenya doesn’t understand why Kim is sticking her nose into it.

Kim breaks down at lunch because she’s homesick. She says that everyone is having a good time, but all she’s thinking about is she’d rather be sharing it with her husband. That’s a really nice thought, but she seems to be getting weird about it, like a kid who’s away at camp for the first time. She starts to cry about how she’s lost herself and she can’t find herself here. I hate to tell her, but it’s highly doubtful you’d be finding much of anything on a long weekend in Miami except a Margarita.

Whoa. She’s weeping and wailing to Phaedra outside, while the women flirt with some dude named Oliver inside at the table. Phaedra says she’s sensitive to Kim missing her husband, and if her husband treated her well, she’d be missing him too. Shade of the night. Somehow, Phaedra turns the conversation around to her own problems, but Kim seems to think she’s a great friend. They go back inside.

New guy Oliver and his friend have invited themselves over to party. The girls get googly eyed when Kim says she misses her husband, but on the side Kenya says that most of the women would pay get away from their husbands and kids. Houdini Tammy, who had disappeared, comes back draped with another strange man. It’s her nephew, Glen, who Kenya immediately turns her high beams on.

It’s time for the ladies to get back on the boat and the guys go with them. Things go a little sour when Glen doesn’t respond positively to Kenya’s aggressive attempt to get his attention.

Next week, it looks like things go so far south, they hit the equator.

Dec10

December 9, 2015 — Port Charles, L.A., a Divorcee & a Wife

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Lulu says what the hell and has another shot with Johnny.

Dante and Valerie go back to Dante’s place where they continue to make me ill.

Michael asks Felix if Dr. Lee is around. She’s not, but Michael says he wants to talk to her about Sabrrrina.

Sabrrrina is waiting for Michael at The Floating Rib and sees Patrick at the bar. He says he feels like he’s having a bad dream that he can’t wake up from. Welcome to my life.

Sam tells Jason that Elizabeth knew for months who he really is. He says it was a mistake to come over. Sam says he knows deep down something isn’t right and he can run away or hear her out.

Elizabeth tries to call Jason, but he doesn’t pick up. He says she’s probably worried about him, and Sam says she’s worried about something all right. Sam says he can run back to Elizabeth or give her five minutes to tell him the truth. He says she’s got five minutes.

Dante and Valerie are making out when there’s a knock at the door. Valerie makes herself scarce, but for once it’s not Lulu. It’s Olivia with Rocco. She asks how long the nonsense with Lulu is going to go on and when are they getting back together. Valerie eavesdrops. No surprise.

Johnny and Lulu flirt a little. Johnny says he was hoping he could stay there. He says his offshore accounts are being monitored, but if she can spare some cash, he’ll pay her back with interest. She tells him he can crash there, but she’ll have to see what she can spare. Dillon shows up and Johnny hides behind the bar.

Michael says he’s concerned about the baby’s size. Felix says it’s wrong to go behind Sabrrrina’s back, and that the baby is healthy and everything’s fine. Michael asks him to come with him to meet Sabrrrina.

Patrick, who has a nerve even discussing this with Sabrrrina, says he has trust issues with Sam now. Sabrrrina says she came out of things with Patrick fine (well, if you can call telling Michael that Carrrlos’s baby is his “ fine”), and he has to decide if he wants to fight for Sam or not.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Jason. Jake comes downstairs and says he can’t sleep, and wonders where Jason is.

Jason asks what proof Sam has. She tells him about how she found Elizabeth in the chapel and Elizabeth said she was hesitant to marry him because of Sam. She didn’t understand it at the time, but now she knows it’s because Elizabeth knew Jason was her husband already. She also tells him about Jake keeping a secret with Elizabeth and Laura. She tells him to open his eyes. She asks if Elizabeth has ever almost told him something and stopped, or shown him some other kind of weirdness. Jason asks if she’s just trying to convince herself so that they can get back together.

Dillon asks if he can talk to Lulu. She says now isn’t the time and she has to get the boat decorated. He says he can help, but she says she works better alone. He asks if he ruined their friendship.

Dante asks if he can talk to Olivia in the morning. She tells him to think of Rocco. He says it isn’t working out with Lulu and Olivia says he sounds like he’s giving up and he has to fight for his marriage. Isn’t that what you want? she asks.

Sabrrrina says when she saw Robin in the church, she knew things were over between her and Patrick, and she could have saved everyone a lot of heartache by just accepting it. She says he has to make a choice and that dragging it out causes the most damage. Michael comes in with Felix. They invite Patrick to join them for dinner, but he takes a pass.

Elizabeth tells Jake that his daddy will be home soon. Jake asks why she said she was worried in her phone message and she says that’s what moms do.

Sam says she understands that Jason doesn’t remember their life together, but she thinks he deserves to know the truth. She says that if Elizabeth had had her way, she and Danny would have never known he was back. She says to look into her eyes and then go home and look into Elizabeth’s eyes. IMO, he knows Sam is telling him the truth.

Felix makes something up to get rid of Michael for a minute. He tells Sabrrrina that Michael is asking questions about the size of the baby.

Lulu says she didn’t love that DIllon publicly exposed Dante as a cheater, but only Dante is responsible for his actions and she wouldn’t take her anger out on him. She suggests they “hit the reset button.”

Olivia asks Dante if he loves Lulu and wants to save his marriage or is he just throwing up his hands and giving up. Dante says Lulu still doesn’t trust him. Please. It’s only been five minutes and even after that you couldn’t wait until the body was cold. Olivia says there’s nothing odd about that, and he shouldn’t let the love of his life go. Dante tells Olivia about what happened on Thanksgiving and she calls Valerie a home wrecker. I concur.

Patrick comes home and Sam tells him Jason went back to Elizabeth and he has to figure out his own life.

Jason gets back to Elizabeth’s. Jake has fallen asleep on the couch. Jason says as soon as he gets Jake settled, he wants to talk to her.

Lulu tells Dillon that she and Dante are officially separated. She tells him Dante signed the papers, but doesn’t mention Valerie being there. She says she thinks Dante wants the marriage over and she does too. Dillon says he doesn’t believe it because she seems miserable. He says no matter what, he’ll be supportive. The he tells her he’s moving back to L.A.

Olivia says she thought Valerie was a one-time thing. Dante says he did too, but things changed. Olivia says Valerie was a mistake and he needs to man up and get rid of his bed buddy. Dante says Valerie is his friend and not to talk about her like that. Olivia says that it’s too bad he doesn’t have the same concern for his marriage.

Felix says that it’s better if Michael hears the truth from Sabrrrina rather than someone else and that when Monica sees the sonogram, she’s going to know.

Sam tells Patrick she told Jason everything. He asks if Jason believed her and Sam says he wanted proof. She brings up her interaction with Elizabeth in the chapel.

Jason comes back downstairs. Elizabeth asks where he was and he says he needed to talk to Sam. Elizabeth asks why he’d want to hear more of her lies. She says Sam is trapped in the past and she wants him to be trapped with her. Jason asks Elizabeth if she knew who he was before he did.

Olivia leaves and Valerie comes out of hiding. Valerie says she doesn’t think Olivia likes her too much, which is an understatement. Dante says she’s a fair person and will come around.

Dillon says he has to go where the work is. Lulu says, what about New York, but Dillon says his heart is in the San Fernando Valley.  (Ha-ha! I almost typed Valerie.) Johnny makes a noise and Dillon hears it.

When Michael gets back to the table, Felix says he’s got to jet.

Sam tells Patrick that what Jason chooses to do with the information she gave him is up to him. Patrick says he doesn’t know if he can trust her because she says one thing, but her actions indicate she’s still in love with Jason. She says a part of her will always love him, but she’s let that go. Patrick says she’s lying to herself and the future they were building doesn’t apply anymore

Elizabeth dodges the question totally, going on and on about how Sam is jealous and being spiteful. He says just answer the question, but she still doesn’t. Whoa. He says she’s making him not trust her by her evasiveness and if she doesn’t answer, he’s leaving. About time.

Valerie is sitting with Rocco and I tell her to take her hands off Lulu’s kid. Dante steps out to the store and I wonder who is going to show up while he’s gone.

Lulu asks Dillon if he wants to go to dinner. She tells him the noise was probably a harbor seal. Aren’t they in New York state? He pretends to go along with it, but then finds Johnny behind the bar.

I am so psychic. There’s a knock at Dante’s door and it’s Olivia.

Michael tells Sabrrrina that he’s worried about her. She says she understands it’s a scary time for him. He says he still wants to talk to the doctor, but she says they need to set up an appointment together. She asks if they can give it a rest for tonight though and just enjoy dinner. Good luck with that.

Patrick says he loves Sam, but he doesn’t think they can make it. He says she really wants to be with Jason and that’s okay because she deserves to be happy. He tells her they’re over.

Elizabeth tells Jason that the truth is she loves him. He doesn’t care, he wants his question answered. She says she accepted him with no questions asked. He says he just wants one question answered and why can’t she – OMG – SHE’S SAYING IT! SHE LIED ABOUT KNOWING WHO HE IS!

Tomorrow, everyone asks for more time with everything and Robin has some scenes.

Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles

JoshA brings Heather breakfast in bed. Heather isn’t pregnant and Josh is a little disappointed. Heather is surprised at that, but Josh says that when confronted with the possibility, he realized that she was a priority. She says he’s sweet and who exchanged him for the real Josh? He says he was just making excuses before, but now he’s ready for whatever comes. He wants to get married asap and suggests early spring.

They call Josh’s parents in Barcelona. I wonder what being a jet setter is like. He tells his mom that he and Heather are getting married April 2nd, and she gets pretty excited.

Mauricio from the The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is the head of the agency where James and David work. They’re having their weekly staff meeting. David and James’s client looks like Dennis Hopper and scares me a little. The client is putting in an infinity pool to up the price on the house. The client wants it at $14 million, but David and James are like it’s more like $12.5. James says the best way to find out is an informal office poll.

JoshF is currently the number one agent in volume and two in commission. Josh and his husband are buying a house. Josh would rather live in a hotel, but he realizes Colton wants a normal life with a yard and a dog. The property is very pretty and Paul McCartney lives next door. Colton says it seems rushed though. Josh has gone from wanting to live at the Four Seasons, to Grandma Edith’s penthouse, to this house.

JoshF admits he’s been on an emotional roller coaster and Colton has been supportive, so he wants this for him. Colton says he thinks Josh is looking at it more as how much he can flip it for later, but Josh says he really wants some stability right now.

David is feeding his cute basset hounds. In a few weeks, he and Adrian are going to Italy where he’s going to propose. He tells Adrian he wants to bring the dogs (they have 5 between them), but he’s just having fun with her.

JoshA is selling a house on Doheny that he says has an “east coast vibe.” Unfortunately, it has construction going on next door, so they’ve had to drop the price by a million. In our language, I’m guessing that’s like $50K. He’s about to have a showing and his brother tells him the power is out. He’s checked the circuit breakers with no luck. The agent’s client is coming in the morning, so they show the agent the house using flashlights. Considering the camera people also have lighting, you can actually see it pretty well.  Josh says the consolation prize for the construction is the lowered price and the agent thinks it’s not a bad deal.

James and David are showing the infinity pool house to some agents. Did that guy just say there are no bathrooms upstairs? What kind of a skabillion dollar house is this? All of the agents agree that it’s worth closer to $12 million. They get together with scary guy Jay and tell him the bad news. Jay says they’re done because besides being scary, he’s unrealistic.

Jay says it’s a special project and they need to open up their minds. Ohmmm, James says they’re not going to spend a bunch of bucks in marketing to find out that they can’t sell it. Jay says he’s going in at $13.5 with them or without them. James and David say they’ll have to take a pass. David tells Jay he’s a schmuck if he goes with someone else after they gave him the idea for the pool that upped the value of the house. They all compromise at $12.995.

JoshF is getting himself beautified. His phone rings and he actually doesn’t answer it. It doesn’t matter. His office assistant hunts him down. He’d lost the house he wanted to buy to another buyer, and the seller is calling to see if he’s still interested. They go back and forth for a while with the assistant relaying the information. JoshF gets on the phone himself and says buyers aren’t exactly lining up for the property and makes a cash offer. He ends up getting the house. He says after Colton gets ahold of the property, it will be ready for Architectural Digest.

JoshA meets for lunch with Max and his business partner, John. He’s received an offer for the Doheny property, but both guys think it’s low. Josh says they should counter regardless. Josh calls the agent with a counter offer, but lets them know the clients really wanted to tell them to pound sand. He tells Max and John they should take the $8.5 million offer. He says if they wait, the market could change and the property could become stale. He says they should take the money and run. Everyone agrees. John says he’s never happy, but he’s satisfied.

Scary client Jay has everything staged and ready for the open house. The furniture has been custom made for the house and is included in the price. David is hoping they wrap things up quickly because he’s leaving for Italy the next day. Everything is gorgeous, but I think it would be weird moving into a place that had furniture already. I guess it’s good if you’re really busy.

James tells David that he wants him to enjoy himself in Italy and to turn his phone off and concentrate on Adrian.

JoshA was burned by JoshF showing a client a property before he could. He shows the client a different property. The client says he loves it, but he just bought the other property from JoshF. JoshA says compared to that property, this one is an estate and a better fit. And it’s move in ready. He says so much work needs to be done on the other one, he won’t be moving in for two years. The client decides to take the property and develop the one from JoshF. Since the sellers are also JoshA’s clients, he’s going to make out like a bandit.

It’s the finale. JoshA lists his blessings and says he feels like the luckiest guy on the planet.

David calls James and tells him Adrian said yes. He did a beautiful job in picking out the ring too. I’m impressed. David says how happy he is to be marrying the girl of his dreams.

James goes down Memory Lane with the properties he and David have sold. It’s been a phenomenal year.

Josh and Colton are moving into the new house. He reflects on the work ethic Grandma Edith gave him. He says things couldn’t be any better. He says although Edith isn’t with him any longer, he knows she’s looking down on him with pride.

Just a note on The Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce

This is a good show. Well written and acted. A divorcee Sex in the City. In the second season, main character Abby and her ex-husband are entertaining the notion of getting back together. Abby is hesitant though, because not only has she become the “new face of divorce” through her journalism, she’s enjoying her new life.

Last night, Bravo did a bit of a crossover. When Abby is out with her ex, she sees some paparazzi and assumes she’s been recognized. But it turns out they want Shannon from The Real Housewives of the OC . I like Shannon because she’s not afraid to poke fun at herself. When one of the photographers asks about her husband, she says it’s date night, the feng shui worked and to put nine in a bowl.

Dec9

December 8, 2015 — Port Charles & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Lulu is putting up Christmas decorations at the Haunted Star while listening to death metal. Maxie comes in and says she’ll untangle the lights. Lulu suggests that when she gets them untangled, she strangle Valerie with them. That gets my vote.

Bobbie asks Valerie what’s up. She’s been sneaking in and out to avoid everyone. Bobbie invites Valerie out to dinner. Hopefully on the docks where someone can push her into the water.

Nathan is meeting Maxie at Kelly’s, but Dante is also meeting Valerie there. Nathan suggests Dante change his venue since he won’t have any peace with Maxie if the two of them are there. Nathan reminds Dante about fraternization. Dante says what’s the big deal about having dinner with a friend? Nathan tries to give him good advice, but Dante is such a jerk, he doesn’t get it.

Nicolas tells Hayden he wants to love her but doesn’t think he can. He says he knows what she’s up to and tries to smother her. Ha-ha! It’s all a dream. They always get me with those.

The ten thousand roses arrive at Patrick’s. Emma makes a joke that the next time her dad buys her flowers, she’d prefer a different kind.

Sam tells Elizabeth to tell Jason how she’s been playing God with his life. Jason tells Sam to accept reality and calm down. She tells Elizabeth to tell the truth and Elizabeth says okay, but not with her there. Oh yeah, I’d totally trust that.

Commercial break. It’s that Ferraro Rocher time of year. Bring it on! My God, I love those candies.

Bobbie says she’s no one to throw stones and she knows Valerie will have a hard time with the first holidays without her mother. I don’t want to feel sorry for Valerie, but I know what that feels like and it’s not pleasant.

Maxie tells Lulu they’re adults and revenge isn’t the solution. She says it will just make things worse. Maybe she should let the rest of Port Charles in on that.

Sam is like yeah, right, you’ll tell the truth as long as I’m not here. She tells Elizabeth she’s no better than Hayden and goes off on her. When she gets to the word “bitch,” Jason gets loud. Please, someone hit this guy on the head and bring his memory back.

Nicholas comes in to the now-awake Hayden’s room. She says she’s afraid of her feelings for him, and he says he’s on to her, just like in the dream. He says she’s been lying about going to ELQ meetings. She says yes, she lied, but he might not like the answer.

Jason tells Sam he’s done with her and “this.” Sam asks what if he’s wrong. He says he doesn’t care and to get out. Sam tells Elizabeth to do the right thing while she can and leaves.

Emma is going to a sleepover so Patrick can get romantic with Sam. She says tomorrow they can start getting ready for the wedding. I don’t know about that…

Valerie says she wanted Dante and Lulu’s marriage to work out, but even though Dante apologized to no end, Lulu gave him separation papers. Bobbie says the distance between separation and divorces is like the distance between Florida and Alaska. She tells Valerie to be careful. She’s concerned that Valerie is taking shelter from her grief with the wrong guy.

Lulu asks how things could get worse and Maxie suggests she think about how things can get better. Lulu says Valerie falling off the face of the earth would make it better. Maxie says Rocco might be affected if Lulu does something stupid. She says Valerie doesn’t matter and Lulu and Dante need to fix things. She leaves to meet Nathan for dinner.

Nathan says he’s going to have to work and has to cancel his plans with Maxie. He begs Dante to stop seeing Valerie until he knows what he really wants.

Alone at the Haunted Star, Lulu hears someone. She has a giant candy cane in her hand and calls out that she’s armed. Who walks in but Johnny, and he says oh, look out, she’s armed with a candy cane.

Hayden says what she told Nicholas about downsizing ELQ is true, but she’s been working with a consultant outside of the office. She shows him a folder with her plans on how ELQ can save money. She says if they lay off a third of the employees, they can increase their profit margin. Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!

Valerie and Dante are at Kelly’s, which has suddenly replaced The Floating Rib as the place to be. Dante says he needs to tell her something, but she wants to go first. She says her feelings for him have grown stronger and she needs to know if he’s going to get back with Lulu.

Maxie comes to the station. She says she needs five minutes of his time. And she brought him some ribs from Kelly’s. Come on now, wouldn’t The Floating Rib be the place to get ribs?

Lulu tells Johnny that he’s a wanted man. He says he doubts he’s very important. He knows she and Dante split up and says he saw it coming.

Elizabeth says thanks for defending her. Jason says he came from an argument with Carly and couldn’t deal with any more. Elizabeth says he knows she doesn’t have anything to hide, right?

Sam comes home to Patrick. She tells him that she was at Elizabeth’s. He says he thought she was past that and she says she did do, but apparently not. She says that she just wants to see it through, but Patrick says she needs to do better than that.

Elizabeth says that Sam is just jealous. Jason asks what it was that Sam says she’s lying about, but she says she doesn’t want to dignify it with an answer. Jason ponders that.

Hayden says she clearly remembers why she broke the vase and it wasn’t because she was jealous of Elizabeth. She knows she was blackmailing Nicholas. She asks why he lied to her.

Dante says that right now he’s being selfish and wants to be with Valerie. He asks if she can handle an uncertain future. Oh I see. He wants to try and work things out with Lulu, but have Valerie just in case it doesn’t work out. Nice guy.

Johnny reminds Lulu of how Dante wanted her to get rid of the Haunted Star when he found out Johnny owned half. He says that their problem has always been that Dante didn’t trust her. Johnny says he’s sorry about what happened. Lulu starts to cry and Johnny hugs her. In a friend way.

Johnny and Lulu have a couple of shots, but Lulu says any more will just make her get sentimental and feel worse. Johnny asks what he can do for her. She says get rid of Valerie. Johnny asks if she wants him to kill Valerie.

I wish he would. Dante is going on and on about not facing up to his responsibilities and just wants to be in the moment with Valerie. She says she’s okay with the uncertainty as long as it means being with him for a while, even if it won’t be forever. These two are ridiculous.

Nicholas says he lied to protect Hayden. She says once she realized, she never said a word to anyone about Jason’s real identity, so why won’t he trust her? He tells her about Britt. Hayden says she had the same problem with her ex-husband, and when she came to town, she just wanted to take it out on everyone. Nicholas wants to get it on, but she says she can’t move forward unless the relationship is based on trust.

Patrick starts wigging out about Sam basing her accusation on what Jake said. He gets a little out of control and does a table flip like he’s on Real Housewives.

Jason says he doesn’t believe Elizabeth is a lying manipulator like Hayden. Man, has he got a lot to learn; she could teach Hayden a thing or two. Elizabeth says she wants to be with the man he is now. They say I love yous and I gag. Elizabeth goes upstairs, but the look on Jason’s face tells me he’s not totally buying that she’s telling the truth.

Hayden tells Nicholas that her dreams are a metaphor for Nicholas getting past her defenses. He says he thinks they’re both in trouble.

Nathan finally finishes work and goes into the interrogation room to find Maxie asleep.

Lulu says she wants Johnny to get rid of Valerie, but not kill her. She says she wants Valerie to go out of their lives and never come back. He says he’ll handle it, but the less she knows the better. I can’t wait to see what he has planned.

The two idiots Valerie and Dante come to the conclusion that maybe they shouldn’t be seen together where everyone else from the station hangs out.

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason gone.

Sam says she’s totally committed to Patrick and is moving forward with the divorce, but Jason still has a right to know the truth. Patrick says it’s over, and goes to leave. Jason is at the door. Patrick leaves and Jason comes in. He apologizes to Sam. He says she’s been nothing but kind and he’s sorry. He says now that he’s more rational, he wants to know what’s going on. Sam tells him that Elizabeth knew for months who he really is.

Tomorrow, more truths from Sam.

Just a note to those who would perpetrate dastardly deeds. I’d rather you didn’t , but if you’re going to, please make it after 4 pm. Kay? Thanks.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and family are going overseas for a vacation, ending with Nicky Hilton’s wedding at Kensington Palace in Kensington Gardens. Lisa and Ken are coming along for the ride.

Giggy! And Lisa’s closet! Lisa is trying to find something for Kyle to wear at the wedding. I’ve seen Kyle’s closet too, so I’m not getting this.

LisaR is showing off her birthday earrings from Harry. They’re simple round diamond drops set in silver and I love them too. Lisa is having Facetime with her parents. She says she’s able to cope with them getting older and in not such great health by living in the moment. Her mom gives us all TMI about her dad. LisaR signs off by saying she hopes his penis feels better. ♫ La-La-La! ♫

Kyle tells Lisa she’s not going to the wedding anymore. She says she was told it would be better if she didn’t come. She tells Lisa not to bring the dress, but I’ll bet Lisa does anyway. It sounds as if there’s some dispute about Kyle doing the new TV show based on her life, so I guess Kathy is being an idiot. What a shame.

We haven’t seen Yolanda yet, but just for the record, I’m hating on David Foster. What a freaking creep he is to divorce her when she’s so ill and she’s been so supportive of him. Typical though. It’s like when a woman works to put her husband through school, and then when it’s her turn, he books. I hope the next one takes him for everything he’s got and pawns his Grammys.

Eileen and Vince go to Palm Springs where Dick Van Patten has a star on their walk of fame. Eileen had recently lost her sister as well. Her sister had cancer, but had not told anyone she was in the final stage of life, and ended up dying in Eileen’s arms at the hospital. This makes me want to call my sister, who had a stroke last year.

LisaR is meeting LisaV for lunch. LisaR says she likes to be around sparkly things and LisaV sparkles. LisaR talks about going to Dick Van Patten’s memorial. She says he was beloved by everyone and it’s been very difficult for the family.

LisaV says that Ken is going to be 70 soon and she wants to do something special. She’s found the smallest horse in the world in Ohio. The owner is willing to sell it and LisaV wants LisaR to come with her to pick it up. She also wants LisaR and Kyle to help care for it until Ken’s birthday, but the horse likes to sleep in bed with people. It is pretty cute and probably not any bigger than a large dog.

Yolanda is at the oral surgeon. She’s had all her old fillings taken out and replaced with gold crowns, but themetal levels in her blood are still high. So she’s having the crowns tested for what metals are in them and has brought an analysis of her blood work for the surgeon to look at.

I feel so badly for Yolanda. And now I feel even worse because that beast, David, shows up. (The show was taped ages ago, so he’s still pretending to be supportive.)

Yolanda starts to choke and David says it’s the numbing in the back of her throat that’s causing her to think she can’t breathe. When I think about it, it makes sense. David the Cretin jokes about how soon they can have sex.

Boom! We’re in Italy! Kyle and her family have chartered a yacht. It’s not Captain Lee though. As always, the food looks fabulous. Kyle says she never vacationed as a child; she only traveled for work. I’m quite sure this trip alone makes up for it.

Lisa and Ken arrive.  The countryside is absolutely beautiful. Lisa says it’s a different sensibility in Europe. Lisa says she’s glad to be away from the restaurant. I’ll bet.

Kyle and Mauricio have rented a villa. Is there any other way? Mauricio has also rented a Ferrari and is driving to the villa with one of the kids, while Kyle gets there in a van. Mauricio gets lost, so Ken and Lisa arrive before he does. The car keeps telling him to make a U-turn. Of course he doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. What is it with men and not asking for directions? Bible teacher Joyce Meyer says that’s why it took the Israelites 40 years to make an 11 day trip. Ha-ha! Yep. I’ve been a passenger in that car too.

Mauricio tells his daughter that had her mom been in the car, it would have been so not fun for him. They finally get to the villa, and immediately hit the pool. Kyle and Lisa are going to take the car and go exploring. Kyle says it’s nice to be away from all the family drama with Kim.

Back in Beverly Hills, LisaR and Eileen stop by to visit Yolanda. Yolanda’s aide, Daisy, answers the door. They see Yolanda’s medicine cabinet, which is really a linen closet, and there’s a mind-boggling array of stuff. Eileen says it’s like when her sister had cancer. The girls get together with Yolanda in the living room. Yolanda says she can’t remember what it’s like to be normal. She talks about parasites that she had removed and they were quite long. She tells them about having her teeth removed. Eileen says it’s real flashback to her sister trying everything to fight for her life.

After they leave, LisaR says she feels a deep sadness and darkness in seeing a young woman not being able to live her life. She says it seems like she’s succumbed to it and accepted it. Truth be told, she really isn’t looking too good.

Kyle and LisaV are strolling around the grounds with Margaritas, and Kyle says it’s like walking in a painting. Lisa tells Kyle about Yolanda having her teeth taken out. Kyle says she’d asked her doctor about that and he said it can open you up to more problems. Lisa says she believes Yolanda thinks it’s more than Lyme disease and is stabbing in the dark. Kyle says when her mother died of cancer, she suddenly felt like she had weird symptoms and spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it was. Is she intimating that Yolanda is maybe not sick?

Everyone sits down to an enormous dinner at the villa. Ken says he’s getting so old, Lisa should start looking around now for a replacement. She asks why he didn’t tell her that when she was on Dancing with the Stars?

Kyle says she’s going to the wedding now, but Lisa says she didn’t bring the dress because Kyle told her not to. (Okay, I was wrong on that one.) I don’t see why she just can’t buy something new anyway. Mauricio says he’s not going, two of the daughters are in the wedding, and the other kids aren’t going. Huh? Lisa talks about the roller coaster that’s going on with Kathy pulling the strings, but Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it in front of the kids. It just sounds weird. It’s probably not just rich people weird either. Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people.

Lisa says as her friend, she hates to see Kyle putting her all into relationships only to be manipulated and devastated. In her individual interview, Kyle says there’s been tension in her family and that’s why Mauricio isn’t going. And kids aren’t invited, except for the ones in the wedding party. Lisa says none of it makes sense and she thinks Kyle should detach herself. She says she doesn’t want to overstep her bounds, and one of the daughters says can we please not talk about it now.

Next week, shopping in Europe! And we finally get to meet new housewife Erica – and the tiny horse. Also, a lot of people diving into a pool with their clothes on.

Thought for the day: It must be a lot of responsibility being Joan Collins.