What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam startles Alexis. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but Alexis didn’t show. She also didn’t go to Sabrrrina’s funeral. Sam says she looks like hell and wonders what’s going on.

Morgan tells Kiki he decided not to go to the funeral. He didn’t trust himself not to lose it again if Joe showed up.

Sonny and Jason talk over coffee. Sonny says whoever took Sabrrrina’s life needs to pay. Jason tells him it’s not his world. This is a serial killer and a different realm. Sonny says Julian will never pay for ordering the hit on Duke and tells Jason that Julian is coming after him.

Paul tells Tracy he killed her. He’s the reason Sabrrrina is dead. Well, I guess I might as well turn this off now. Tracy thinks he’s acting selfishly. She says he feels responsible so he’s making it all about him. No! I should have known this wasn’t going to get wrapped up in a neat little bow so quickly.

Michael comes home to Nell holding a box of family photos. She’s set up a memorial page online for Sabrrrina. She shows Michael that people have already started to post. She knows it doesn’t do anything to assuage the actual grief though, because she’s been there.

Julian acts like a complete a-hole, sitting in Nina’s chair when she comes in. He wants permission to take back what’s his, including the magazine. Nina says she was running things long before he tried to kill his wife – allegedly. She says their agreement hasn’t changed and he says he’s not there to break it. He wants her to clear his name.

Sam says Alexis is in the same clothes as yesterday and she obviously just woke up. She says it’s not the first time she’s seen Alexis like that. She’s hungover and it’s becoming a pattern. Alexis says she’s fine, but Sam counts the wine bottles and says no she isn’t.

Morgan says he doesn’t want to add to Michael’s stress. Kiki says he made a good decision, especially because of Teddy bringing back the old custody issues. Morgan says he has a paper due. Kiki suggests an extension, but he says he’s got this. He leaves and Kiki literally runs into Dillon again.

Paul says Sabrrrina wasn’t’ supposed to be hurt this way. Tracy says she blames the police department and everyone blamed themselves, but the only person to blame is the killer.

Sam is concerned about Alexis’s pattern. Alexis says she’s right, this isn’t her, it’s the new her. She needs Sam to back off so she can figure out how to cope. She tells Sam that it’s temporary. She’s about to start work again.

Nina says Julian was exonerated. He says not guilty does’t change the court of public opinion. He wants to be on the cover of the magazine and give an exclusive with his side of the story. He says she’ll boost circulation and he can defend himself. She says she passes.

Jason says Julian just got acquitted yesterday. Sonny says he was celebrating with Ava already. He tells Jason about meeting Julian, and that Julian told him to watch Morgan because he’s getting into trouble he can’t handle. When Sonny asked if Julian was threatening Morgan, Julian said he’s coming after him. He’s going down, but his death won’t be tied to Julian. Jason asks if Carly knows and Sonny says she was there, but she wants him to leave it alone.

Kiki tells Dillon at least she wasn’t carrying coffee this time. Dillon asks about Morgan and Kiki explains why he didn’t go to the funeral. Dillon says there was a little altercation at the house.

Nell tells Michael that she lost her best friend in high school. She was killed because she got in a car with a drunk driver. One minute they were hanging out, and the next she was gone. Nell says she knows how much the page helped her friend’s parents, but they eventually took the page down. With it went all the memories they’d shared, and she felt the loss all over again. She knew the last thing on Michael’s mind would be old photos. Nell tells him that one day he’ll want to look at the memories and she wanted him to have what she didn’t get.

Tracy says Paul isn’t helping anyone. He says she’s right, and Sabrrrina was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Tracy says she’s never seen him like this. He’s usually emotionless, focused and unflappable. He says it’s hitting close to home and asks to be alone.

Alexis shows Sam a list of law firms. She says she can do consults until she gets her license back. She swears she won’t get drunk again. She says since Sam can’t drink because she’s pregnant, she won’t drink with her.

Nina says Julian isn’t going to be the next Crimson cover girl. She says he wants to use her magazine as a PR outreach and to get back his wife and children. In the meantime, her magazine loses credibility and advertisers. Julian says he was asking out of politeness and now he’s demanding. He owns the magazine and he’s telling her to run the piece. She tells him to have his lawyers give him the definition of autonomy. Nina refuses to run a puff piece on a man who crossed the line with domestic abuse. He urges her to play ball or regret it. She asks if he’s threatening her, and he says he sure is. Julian is the worst.

Jason says he can’t get involved and Sonny should just wait and see what happens. Jason says Julian talks a lot, but doesn’t carry out anything. He had Carrrlos carry out his dirty work and then killed him. He says Julian is a coward and too afraid to make a move against Sonny. Sonny asks if Jason would bet his life, and Jason says he thinks Julian will make a mistake that backfires.

Sonny says he can’t promise how he’ll handle things, and Jason says sorry he can’t help. Sonny sees Morgan working on his laptop. He asks why Morgan didn’t go to the funeral. Morgan says he ran it past Michael and he was fine with it. He says he’s working on a paper right now. Sonny says he has a lot going on, and he doesn’t want Morgan to burn himself out. Morgan says he appreciates Sonny worrying about him, but there are others who need his worrying more.

Kiki tells Dillon that she and Michael have some old stuff, so she thought it best to stay away. She tells Dillon about how she and Morgan tried to make Michael seem incompetent to he’d lose custody of Avery, and Sabrrrina saved the day. She says the perfect Kiki doesn’t exist. Dillon says perfect is boring and he thinks Michael might appreciate her reaching out to him.

Michael thanks Nell for telling him about her friend. She says as someone who’s experienced loss, it helps to share it. He asks if she went into the nursery when she was collecting photos. She says no, and Michael tells her there are pictures that Teddy might want to see one day. She leaves to get them. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny.

Alexis tells Sam not to worry and just take care of the baby. She asks to reschedule lunch, because she wants to clean herself up and look for a job. Sam leaves and Alexis immediately chugs a bottle of wine. Not really, but she thinks about it.

Alexis stares at the wine glass and then looks at a picture of her and Sam. She makes a bunch of phone calls, but none of them pan out. When she’s done she says the hell with the shower, she feels like a bath, and brings the wine with her.

Julian says Nina has skeletons in her closet too. He says she wants to move on with her life and certain people are preventing that. He threatens her with budget cuts. She says she has proof he tried to sabotage the magazine. If he wants to reach out to Alexis or the other people he’s destroyed, he’ll do it without her and the magazine’s help. He says working with her again will be interesting.

Sam meets Jason. She says she can tell he’s worried. Jason says her father threatened Sonny and threatening him usually doesn’t end well. Sam doesn’t care what happens to Julian, but asks if Jason is getting involved.

Sonny tells Michael that they always take for granted that he doesn’t need any help, but he knows Michael is hurting and wants him to know he’s not alone. He says sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you care about is to just show up. They hug.

Paul talks to Sabrrrina’s picture. He apologizes and says he hopes it brings her spirit peace that she didn’t die in vain. This is after a couple of people talked to Steve Hardy’s picture last week. Pretty soon, in an effort to save money, they can cut the cast in half and use pictures f0r the other half.

Tracy tells Dillon that as much as funerals are a celebration of life, they’re really a downer for everyone. She tells him that Paul is devastated by Sabrrrina’s death. She says she’s never seen Paul like that and he’s in a bad place. Dillon tells her about how shaken up Paul was when he told him about her murder, like it was personal even though they didn’t know each other that well. Tracy says, OMG, she knows what it is. I’ll bet not. I’ll bet this is just another carrot on a stick.

Morgan peruses his phone. Morgan stares at his laptop. Morgan takes a break.

Kiki sends a message to Michael, thanking him for taking care of her sister.

Tracy thinks Paul feels guilty about the distance between him and Susan, and that Sabrrrina’s death exacerbated that guilt. She suggests that Dillon reach out to her. Dillon says he’ll try. Tracy tells him to ask her to come to Port Charles. She says maybe Paul seeing his daughter is just what he needs.

Paul calls Susan. He leaves a message that her father called, that it will be okay and he’s handling everything. Not too well though.

Nell walks in on Sonny and Michael’s hug. Michael says he’ll be right back and Nell apologizes to Sonny for her bad timing. She compliments him on what good dad he is, and says his kids are lucky to ahve him in their lives. I’d agree with that.

Sam asks Jason if Sonny is going to take action. She says she sees what Julian has done, but doesn’t want his blood on either of their hands. Jason says if Julian keeps pushing, Sonny will have to defend himself.

Drunk Alexis comes downstairs. Her front door is open. Julian is in the living room.

Tomorrow, Alexis complains to Julian, Hayden thinks she and Elizabeth should call Jff together, and Tracy wants to find Susan.

The Real Housewives of the OC

The Beadors find a rental property. Shannon complains about the stove, the floors, and the horrible feng shui. Kelly also lives within walking distance. Shannon says she knows where to go for a cup of tequila. In her interview, Shannon says that David’s mother and sister wanted him to leave her for the woman he had the affair with. Shannon definitely has some issues, but considering the mother complained to total strangers about the whole thing, I’m guessing she must be a real pita.

Eddie and Tamra go out to lunch at a sushi place. It’s five weeks until her competition and Tamra is concerned about the carbs in the sake. Tamra says Eddie and Simon are like night and day. Eddie is supportive no matter what, while Simon was a controlling twit. They talk about how Shannon can go off like a rocket.

Kelly’s husband opens a beer bottle with his teeth. He’s doing some renovation work on the house, but in her interview, she says he does it half-assed. She asks him if their relationship is any better now that he’s retired. She says they’re both control freaks, but Michael insists he isn’t. In her interview, she explains that she’d filed for divorce because she felt like she was being suffocated. Michael says they’re dealing with trying to repair things while dealing with the baggage of the divorce where they were separated for 2½ years. Kelly says she can’t talk to him because he gets upset with everything. She tells him if he just says yes to everything, it will all go a lot more smoothly.

Vicki and son Michael are building an insurance policy behind a charity called Kill All Cancer. It’s a policy so that if someone should get cancer, they can get back on their feet again. It sounds kind of like Aflac. Vicki is going to do some TV ads. We see one she’s done for her insurance company and it makes me think of a funeral home ad. In her interview, Vicki talks about how she got dragged through the mud last year, with Brooks lying about having cancer, and explains the whole Brooks thing to the guys in charge of the charity. The publicity guy says she can have haters, but if she continuously does the next right thing, she should come out on top. I’m not sure if this is actually a charitable act or Vicki is trying to save her reputation.

Meghan checks out the space she and Jim got for their candle making business. Since it’s relatively big, they’re also including other products. She says opening the store is a perfect distraction for her until her next pre-natal appointment where she’ll find out if she’s having twins. I always like to buy a store when I need a distraction.

Kelly and her mother, Bobbi, talk. Her mother talks about how she stuck her marriage out for the kids. Kelly says the two years she and Michael were separated, it was hard for her daughter to bounce back and forth. She tells her mother about what happened with Tamra and how she’s estranged from her daughter now. She wonders what’s better, to stay married and see your kids every day, or end up like Tamra. I’m assuming by the conversation, things aren’t going well with the marriage.

Shannon whines about packing and unpacking. They have to be out in 30 minutes and she’s still getting it together. She says she can’t open another cupboard and find something else. In her interview, she says there have been amazing memories in the house, and we flash back to some of them. And some bad ones. She says there’s a huge piece of her in the house and it’s sad. She’s giving her fourth baby up for adoption. Everyone says good-by to the house.

Tamra has set up a spa day for some of the girls. Vicki arrives first. She just wants to whoop it up and forget about last year. Heather is next. She’s happy for no helmets and safety equipment, only champagne. Kelly rounds out the quartet. They all get in a mud bath and Tamra talks about how David’s mom acted at the kids’ gig. Vicki tells them about how his mother wanted him to stay with his mistress and would invite her to family dinners. Heather adds that the mistress was friends with his sister. No wonder Shannon is a mess. Tamra brings up the mother saying that Shannon pushed him to have an affair. In her interview, Vicki says you don’t have an affair if you’re happily married and it reminds her of what happened with her and Don.

Jim and Meghan go to her doctor’s appointment. The doctor asks if she’s been having any problems, but she says it’s all good except for being a little emotional. A little? They do a sonogram and listen to the baby’s heart. It looks like just one baby. Meghan starts to cry because you can’t please her. Jim tells her it’s okay like ten thousand times. In her interview she says it’s a happy moment, but she feels a huge sense of loss. What is she wearing on her index finger? It looks like a spring. Jim actually acts like a human being and comforts her.

The Beadors arrive at their rental house. There are about ten million boxes in there. I’ve never had to move a 13,000+ square foot house, but I did move into a new apartment when my office was moving at the same time. I dreamed about boxes. David wants a drink immediately. Shannon looks like she’s going to be sick. She takes a selfie out by the water. She’s both stressed and excited to move on.

Meanwhile, back at the spa, the girls get massages. Kelly and Vicki are in the same room and Vicki asks about Kelly’s marriage. Kelly says Michael ignored their anniversary, so she bought a purse and he thought some dude bought it for her. Vicki says she and Don were married almost twenty years and had everything. She says Kelly has to fix it and has to talk to Michael. In her interview, Vicki says she did the wrong thing by bailing. Kelly tells Vicki about Michael telling her to shut up. In the next room, Tamra and Heather can hear her and Tamra says she doesn’t think Kelly is happy in her marriage.

Vicki says it’s never just one person who causes a relationship to fall apart, it’s always two. Tamra talks about Michael being evaluated as a narcissist and how he tried to take her daughter away from her while they were separated. Vicki tells Kelly she’s going down a slippery slope.

The spa girls have lunch and cocktails. Tamra and Heather get to the table first and talk about Meghan’s store opening. Tamra jokes about getting her a candle as a gift. Ha-ha! Vicki and Kelly join them. Tamra asks who was yelling, and Kelly says she was crying and Vicki was giving her advice. I’d cry if I was getting advice from Vicki too. Kelly reveals her marriage isn’t going too well, and talks about Michael ignoring their anniversary. I can totally understand the guy leaving it up to the wife to plan – some guys just aren’t good with that kind of stuff – but to not even get a card is inexcusable. In her interview, Tamra says Kelly’s lashing out makes sense now. Tamra says it will get really bad before it gets better. She says you can’t win with a narcissist. Kelly says her mother thinks they should get a divorce, but she’s not sure what to do.

Shannon and David go out for dinner. David says he understands how difficult it is right now, but ultimately it will be a good move for them. He brings up his mother’s outburst and says Shannon didn’t deserve it. He thinks his mother blames herself for his father’s affairs and tells her she had nothing to do with his mistake. I hate when they use that word “mistake.” It sounds like, oops! I just ended up in bed with someone else for eight months. Shannon says it was the most hurtful thing his mother could have said. She wonders why his mother hasn’t liked her from the jump.

Shannon tells David she wasn’t mad at him, just his mother. David says he texted her that if she’s going to be disrespectful to Shannon, he can’t have her around. Wow. He must love Shannon. In her interview, Shannon says it shows his commitment. Holy! The plate of ribs Shannon ordered is humongous.

This season, Tamra farts on Eddie and loses her nipple cover (not at the same time), Michael gets drunk, Tamra’s competition happens, the ladies take a trip to Dublin (hide the liquor!) and go all Riverdance, there’s a trip to a dairy farm, Kelly calls Tamra a liar, Shannon and Tamra argue with Vicki, and Tamra gets hysterical.

Looks like a great season. 😨

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis steps off the stand and keels over. Julian rushes to help her, since defendants can just jump up from their seats and go anywhere in the courtroom . Sam leads her away and Paul asks for a few minutes. They take a recess. Scotty tells Julian he’s doing a great concerned husband act. Julian says it’s not an act. Sonny tells Paul to get him on the stand. He wants to clean up this mess. He’s cleaned up every other mess this year so far; why not this one?

Griff meets Claudette at The Floating Rib.

Maxie is going crazy trying to find her seating chart. Nathan comes into the office. Nina says he’s there on official business.

Michael tells Carly what happened to Sabrrrina. She says she’s sorry and he says, don’t even.

Alexis says she doesn’t understand what’s going on. Sam wants to take her home, but she wants to go back in and fix it.

Julian wants to see how Alexis is doing. Scotty tells him her meltdown is a gift and not to screw it up.

Paul says he changed his mind about Sonny testifying, saying that Scotty will use Sonny’s mob ties to discredit him. Recess is over, so everyone gets off the slides and swings, and Paul calls Sonny to the stand. I guess he changed his mind about changing his mind.

Griff asks Claudette what the agenda was that she was going to tell him about. She asks him if he thinks in saving everyone, he’ll save himself in the process. He’s had enough already and is about to leave, but she stops him. He wants to know why she’s inserting herself into Nathan and Maxie’s lives. That’s a really good question. If I looked like her, had a great job and was living in NYC, it’s highly unlikely I’d be chasing a relationship that’s been dead for years and moving to a town with only one decent restaurant.

Maxie asks what Nina is doing with her wedding plan folder. Nina says she needs to know Maxie’s plans so she can prepare for the photo shoot. Maxie says they talked about a few pictures, but not handing over control of her wedding. Nina says she’ll be in charge of the shoot, but Maxie is in charge of her big day. She does have a few suggestions though. Spinelli knocks at Nina’s office door.

Paul asks Sonny about being present at some events. Events is his word, not mine. “Events” sounds like he’s talking about attending a dance or bake sale. Sonny says he saw Julian try to kill Alexis. Scotty objects to the conjecture. Sonny amends that to seeing Julian hold a knife to Alexis’s throat and then threaten her. He says he took out his gun and Julian told him that by the time Sonny could shoot, he’d slit Alexis’s throat. He talks about how they struggled and he finally stabbed Julian.

Carly apologizes and asks Michael not to push her away. Michael argues with her and Nell steps in. She says Carly feels terrible. Michael says now that Sabrrrina is dead, she must feel relieved. Carly says he’s grieving and angry and can’t handle this alone. Michael tells her to stay the hell away from him and leaves.

Nell tells Carly she can’t believe how Michael talked to her. Carly says he’s hurting. She says she wants to help him, but now he’d just push her away, so she’ll have to wait for him to come to her. Nell says it must be horrible to feel like there’s nothing she can do, but Carly says there is something she can do.

Claudette implies that Griff wants to help Maxie and Nathan to assuage his own guilt. He tells her to forget about them for a minute and asks what’s going on with her. He says he’s willing to help her, but she has to tell him the truth. Good luck with that.

Scotty asks for a minute with his client. He asks Julian if Sonny stabbed him and Julian says yes. How does Scotty not know all this already? Scotty asks Sonny if his gun is licensed and registered, and Sonny says it is. He asks what business Sonny is in and Sonny plugs Perks. Nice business move. Scotty asks if he needs a gun to whip up lattes or does he carry it for another reason? Sonny says it’s for personal protection. Scotty brings up Sonny killing AJ – like AJ was such a great guy – but Sonny says he was pardoned by the governor.

Maxie runs off to talk to Spinelli. Nina asks if Nathan is okay with that, and he says they’re all going to be a part of each other’s lives since Spinelli is Georgie’s father. Nina switches gears and asks Nathan if he has any opinions about the wedding, or is he letting Maxie make all the decisions? Well, that’s the way it usually goes. He sees a book of baby names on Nina’s desk and asks what’s up with that.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he dug into Claudette’s past. Maxie says things have changed. She found out Claudette cheated on Nathan with a priest. She appreciates Spinelli’s outrage on her behalf, but it’s all out in the open, so not of concern anymore. He says she still might want to know what he found out.

Claudette says she’ll let him in on her agenda, if Griff will admit he has a God complex. He says he just wants to help people. She says he wants to save people and there’s a difference. She asks if that’s what he was trying to do years ago with her. She says the only way he can help or save her is if he tells her there’s a chance for them.

Michael talks to Teddy on a park bench, telling him Sabrrrina would always be proud of him. He says he’s sorry, but Teddy’s mother is gone. He sees Nell watching them.

Scotty asks Sonny if Julian hurt him in any way, and Sonny says his sport jacket got messed up, but he fixed it. He asks if Alexis was hurt, and Sonny says not enough to go to the hospital .Scotty says the only one who was seriously injured was Julian. Paul says it’s leading and inflammatory, and the judge sustains his objection. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand because he’s pretending to be out of the loop. Carly appears and says Sabrrrina is dead, because anyone is allowed to just walk into the courtroom during a trial and make announcements.

Carly tells everyone that Sabrrrina was murdered at GH. Paul asks for a moment and they take a recess. I call dibs on the merry-go-round. Alexis tells Paul he needs to recall her. She says she’s feeling better now, but Paul says she’ll put the final nail in his case coffin. Paul calls Sabrrrina to the stand again. Huh?

Michael tells Nell that Sabrrrina loved bringing Teddy to the park. He goes down Memory Lane about things we’ve never heard about before, and says she was an awesome mother. He asks why Nell tracked him down. She says Carly really does feel terrible. She tells him before he showed up, she’d been talking about how she wished she could take back what she said, and now she just wants to take his pain away.

Nina tells Nathan the book is for a magazine story. He says please don’t tell him she’s going outside the law for a baby.

Spinelli tells Maxie that he followed Claudette’s moves after she left Nathan and could find nothing. I already know that’s bad. When someone has no internet footprint whatsoever, you have to wonder what they’re hiding. Unless they’re like 90. And even then I’d be suspicious.

Griff says he wants nothing more than to move on, because all they’ve done is cause others pain. He says they meant something to each other once, but if she still has feelings for him, leave Maxie alone.

Okay, Paul wants to bring out Sabrrrina’s deposition. Scotty says he can’t cross-examine it. The judge agrees and the people rest. Scotty says they won’t be calling witnesses and the defense rests. Well that was quick.

Paul makes his closing statement. He talks about Alexis wearing a wire, and how she and Julian ended up at the pier with Julian holding a knife to her throat. They have the dagger, the evidence bag with Julian’s prints on it, and Alexis and Sonny’s testimonies. Shortest. Closing. Statement. Ever.

Nina says she’s not trying to buy a baby and wonders if Nathan is believing Ava, who’s a known liar. She says it’s not going to happen, and he asks if she’s given up on being a mother.

Maxie tells Spinelli no news is good news, since Claudette hasn’t been up to anything insanely wrong or evil. Maybe she’s been crocheting cats on pillows. He says that’s not necessarily a good thing. Maxie says that depends on how you feel about cats on pillows. He says she’s not getting it – there’s no internet presence whatsoever. It’s been deliberately removed.

Griff says whatever Claudette is hiding will come out at the worst possible time, creating the worst possible consequences. Griff gets a call from the hospital and has to go in. He tells Claudette he doesn’t think she’s a bad person, but prove him right and go home. She says she’ll take it under advisement.

Nell says Teddy’s loss is unfathomable, but as someone who didn’t have the best parents, he was still lucky to have her as long as he did. Michael asks for alone time and she leaves. He talks to Teddy about Sabrrrina again. He says the memories will fade and Teddy will stop looking for her, but in his dreams she’ll come back to him. The feelings of love and safety will always be with him, because love doesn’t die. He says Sabrrrina loved him more than anything.

Scotty says the prosecution has nothing – circumstantial at best, and condemning at worst. He talks about Alexis basically saying nothing except that Julian would do anything for her, and all they have are fingerprints on a bag. Are they going to send a man to jail for touching a plastic bag? He plays the this-is-America card, and says you’re innocent until proven guilty. Everyone makes soap opera faces at each other.

Nina tells Nathan she’s given up on actively trying to have a baby, but if one ends up on her doorstep, she’s not giving it back. He says she’d better. She tells Nathan not to worry about her and just worry about getting married.

Spinelli says he can investigate Claudette further, but it could take time. Maxie says maybe Nathan can help, but Spinelli was hoping to keep him out of it. She says they’re not supposed to have secrets, but Spinelli wonders how Nathan will feel about him digging up dirt on his former spouse. Nathan comes in and Maxie tells him what’s going on. He says they’ll talk about it at home because he has to get back to work.

Claudette calls Nathan. She says there’s something she needs to tell him.

Nina looks at the baby name book.

Carly thanks Nell for texting her. Nell says she encouraged Michael to cut her some slack, but he’s stubborn. Carly wonders where he got that from, but says he’ll come around They’ve been through worse.

Sonny comes up behind Michael and puts his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

The judge says blah-blah-blah whatever they say to a jury before deliberation. Scotty says he doesn’t want to jinx anything, but Paul should be quaking in his wingtips. Julian tries to talk to Sam, but she won’t have anything to do with him. Alexis asks Paul how big a disaster it is, and Paul says it’s in the jury’s hands now. But doesn’t everyone love Sonny?

Julian gazes over at Alexis as he leaves the courtroom. She has possibly the saddest face I’ve ever seen.

Tomorrow, Claudette says she’s in trouble and only Nathan can help, Olivia lambastes Alexis, and Carly reminds Sonny he promised the killing would stop. Which I assume means he wants to kill Julian.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is still feeling the accident in her lower back. It’s going to take some time to heal, so she’s postponed competing. She tells her trainer/spiritual adviser about how she told Meghan to go to hell. She knows it wasn’t very Christian, but she wanted to say something worse. Her trainer tells her to be a peacemaker, but Tamra says sometimes she just wants to slap a bitch. I identify.

Shannon’s daughters meet with their music instructor. They’ve had a band going for three years and have a gig this weekend where they’re playing an original song. Shannon kibbutzes as they practice. She’s really annoying because she thinks she’s still some kind of rocker chick. If I was the instructor, I’d ask her to leave. She says she was in madrigal, which is a smaller group out of an acapella choir, but I’m guessing that was like a thousand years ago. OMG – she gets up and grabs a mic. Go away, Shannon. She says they’re not Def Leppard, but they’re cute.

Shannon leaves a message for Vicki, saying that she heard a different spin about the accident from the people who were actually in it, and wanted to talk to her. In her interview, Vicki says she doesn’t think Shannon really cares, and doesn’t call her back.

Tamra calls Kelly. She tells Kelly she’s going to Shannon’s to help her pack and asked to bring Kelly, especially since Shannon was including Meghan. In her interview, Kelly says after the accident, she realizes how stupid their feud is. Tamra says she’s like the Rodney King of the OC these days.

Vicki asks what Briana wants to do for Christmas, and Briana says it’s only April. Vicki wonders if she’ll have a boyfriend before Christmas, since she was alone for the holidays last year and it sucked. In her interview, Briana says Vicki likes attention and thinks she’s been playing up the accident. I dunno. It’s not often someone gets airlifted out of a situation. Ryan is able to be home for Briana’s real birthday, even though she and Vicki celebrated their birthdays together last week.

Shannon says she’s bloated, and thinks her adrenals are low, whatever that means. She’s stressed about moving. They have to be out in one week and she’s packed nothing so far. The ladies are coming over today and she hopes to make some headway. Kelly arrives first and we flash back to the last time they were together. She’s concerned that Shannon is a loose canon (ha-ha!) that can go off at any minute. Shannon is nervous that Kelly might attack her. Shannon gets stupid about other people packing her stuff. Last time I moved, I wish I’d had someone else to pack. I kept hoping I’d break stuff just so I didn’t have to pack it.

Tamra realizes that Shannon is going to be Kelly’s neighbor. Kelly apologizes and they hug. Tamra wants clarification as to what exactly the apology is for, but Heather tells her that details are unnecessary. Normally, I’d be with Tamra on this, but it’s not private and with this crowd, a fight can easily start back up again. They check out Shannon’s walk-in closet. Heather immediately starts saying what should be put in the giveaway box. Shannon wants to keep her vegan shoes and Tamra asks if she’s going to eat them. In her interview, Heather says, this is terrible, this is stained, this doesn’t fit you anymore, get rid of it. This, is making me want to clean my own closet.

Meghan arrives last and they decide to take a break. In her interview, Tamra says she doesn’t want to be around Meghan right now. She’s pissed off at how Meghan has been going around saying she was reckless. They have a snack and Shannon invites everyone to her kids’ gig. Heather won’t be able to make it since it’s the one-year anniversary of the skincare line she has with Terry. Shannon asks how Tamra is feeling, but she barely answers. There’s a huge awkward silence, and Tamra says clearly no one wants to talk – meaning Meghan – so she’s going to leave.

Tamra doesn’t want to sit there all fake. Shannon was hoping they could resolve things. Tamra says she heard Meghan has been telling people she caused the accident because she was reckless. Meghan says Tamra told her she got too confident, but Tamra says that shouldn’t give her the need to go around saying what she said. Tamra says Meghan makes everything about herself. Meghan talks about Tamra insinuating she didn’t care. Meghan asks if Tamra thinks that’s okay. If the shoe fits. She certainly didn’t seem like she cared. Tamra says sorry she told her go to hell, but sorrynotsorry she hung up on her. In her interview, Meghan wonders why Shannon gets free pass since they were both on the phone. Shannon says she called and texted Vicki, but got no response. Heather suggests they move on.

Briana and the family go out for lunch. Briana’s brother Michael brings flowers and they toast to Briana’s birthday. Vicki tells everyone about Shannon’s call and Briana says she should acknowledge it. Vicki asks Michael if he has a girlfriend. He says yes, and she wonders why she hasn’t met her. They discuss Tinder and Briana thinks her mother shouldn’t even know about it. Vicki claims to be low maintenance and says she never fights with anyone. We flash back to some doozies. And loud, screeching ones at that. Vicki says she wants a soulmate (gag). She brings up having sex and Briana tells her it’s the wrong audience for that topic.

Shannon’s daughters get ready for their gig. Their parents stress out for them. They say a prayer in the car on the way. Shannon won’t shut up about being nervous and annoys the kids with taking a million pictures. Kelly and Michael arrives first. Kelly apologizes to David for her drunken rant. I like it. Simple and to the point.

Tamra and Eddie come in next, followed by Meghan and the ghost of Jim, who is in St. Louis. David’s sister, another Vicki., shows up with his mother, Donna. Shannon tells the girls her MIL doesn’t like her because she took mommy’s baby boy away. The girls play and it’s okay for kids that age, but nothing special. I’m not sure if they are singing flat, as Shannon suggested in rehearsal, or it’s just a kind of grunge sound. I guess that’s it? One song?

David’s mom introduces herself to Kelly and starts complaining about how Shannon hates her guts and she doesn’t see her grandchildren often. Holy! I’d run away from some stranger who starts telling me their family problems right after the introduction. Kelly says Shannon doesn’t hate her guts and basically wants to be left out of it, and immediately tells Shannon what Donna said. Kelly suggests Shannon be the bigger person, but Shannon says she has been for 15 years. Shannon relays Donna’s gripe to David. Donna goes back to talking to the other girls, telling them that Shannon pushed David to have an affair. I’m not a huge fan of Shannon’s this season, but why is this woman whining to people she just met? That’s just no, no, and more no.

In her interview, Tamra says she went from feeling sorry for Donna to thinking she’s vindictive. Everyone is called upstairs for a buffet. An entire buffet revolving around some kids playing one song. Meghan tells Tamra she doesn’t like being in a bad place with her and apologizes. Tamra says she was freaked out enough, and didn’t need Meghan adding to it. Meghan says she loves and needs Tamra. Apparently, she’s hormonal again.

Tamra asks Shannon if her MIL is joining them for food. Shannon says David barely talks to his mother and they just showed up uninvited. She says the only time he has any relationship with his family, it’s because she’s asked him to. She says that her kids were told she was a bad mother and that was the end of it. Tamra wants to stick her nose in further and tells Shannon what Donna said about David’s affair. Shannon runs to David and gets loud and angry and shakes her finger in his face. Kelly says it’s not David’s fault and Shannon storms out and goes into the ladies room.

David says he’ll deal with it, and Tamra is sorry she said anything. She spends a lot of her time being sorry she said anything. Shannon asks David if he wants to defend his mom or her. She says his family has given her nothing but grief forever. Tamra says Shannon claims to be over the affair, but clearly isn’t. Kelly keeps telling Shannon that Donna wants to make amends, but Shannon not’s having it. Yeah, best stay out of this one. David sits with the ladies and Shannon complains again about what Donna said. She says tonight is about her kids and his mother ruined it. She says she thinks her MIL had wished David left them. David explains that he respects and loves Shannon, so he barely talks to his mother. I wish they’d drag the mother upstairs so she can get involved and there’s a screaming match.

The Beador clan gets into the limo. David explains that Grandma Donna was saying things that she believes, but that aren’t necessarily true. He amends that to inappropriate and not very nice when Shannon squawks. In her interview, Shannon says David needs to be on the side of the truth. David looks like he wants to disappear.

Next time, the Beadors have 30 minutes to get out of the house, the girls go to a mud bath, Kelly and Michael argue, and Tamra gives her take on their relationship.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jordan talks shop on the phone as she enters her apartment. She hears someone moving around and says to freeze, she has a gun. Put that gun away. It’s Andre. Um…you did give him the key.

Kiki meets Morgan at the coffee kiosk and Ava sees them kiss. I want a shirt like Morgan is wearing with the kiosk logo on it.

Carly asks Sonny if everything is cool, since he’s late. He says he had something to take care of. Yeah, Julian. Nell visits bearing flowers.

Lucy sees Doc in the hospital elevator. He’s being released. She says he looks pretty spiffy and wonders if he has a date with Laura.

Laura, looking pretty spiffy herself, talks to Elizabeth, who feels badly about not coming to the funeral. Laura tells her it’s fine and she’s going to dinner with Doc. Elizabeth asks about Spencer. Laura says Spencer slept in her room last night. She thinks it makes him miss Nicholas not saying good-night less. She says they had an interesting conversation, and he wants to go to boarding school in France, something Nicholas had promised him. Laura asks if she should let him go away and Hayden appears, saying over her dead body.

Andre reminds Jordan that she gave him the key and they were supposed to meet after work. He tells her that he was setting up something special. She apologizes for forgetting. He’s made some Pad Thai that he says puts take-out to shame and she says clearly she has a lot to learn about him. He says he’ll get dressed so they can eat, because apparently he cooks shirtless, and she says she has a better idea. My idea is that cooking with any kind of oil while not wearing a shirt is a bad idea.

Carly tells Nell that Josslyn is out, and dinner’s not quite ready yet. Nell says sorry she’s early, but that’s the way the buses roll. Carly says she could have sent a car and also suggests she put Nell up at the MetroCourt. Nell says paying her own way is important to her and Sonny says he was the same way.

Kiki asks Ava what she’ doing there, and Ava says getting coffee. Kiki asks if there’s anything Ava wouldn’t do to drive her and Morgan apart, and we flash back to Ava messing with Morgan’s meds. Ava says that Kiki will understand when she’s a mother, and that she had a private conversation with Dillon that she thought would remain private. Morgan wonders why Kiki didn’t tell him about it.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that decisions about Spencer are Laura’s to make. Laura says it breaks her heart to send him away, but she has to consider his wishes. Hayden and Elizabeth start to argue, but Laura stops it. She says that elite families attend the boarding school that Spencer wants to go to, and it has very tight security. She’s concerned about Valentin still possibly being a threat. Hayden says if she sends Spencer away, she’ll lose him forever.

Lucy walks Doc to the MetroCourt. She wants to give him dating advice, but he’s not receptive to it. He tells her he’s glad they’re friends again, but it’s none of her business. His phone rings and she grabs it, reading the message from Laura that she’s going to be late.

Hayden tells them about her own relationship with her father. They had been very close and he got got distant when she was in high school. To protect her from the infighting between them, her parents sent her to boarding school and she hated it. Her mother walks in behind her and says, “Really?” I hate that woman. She pops up at the worst times.

Nanny Deirdre brings Avery home and Carly introduces her and Avery to Nell. Deirdre points out how “fire” Carly’s earrings are, and how she could never afford a pair like that. Carly says no matter what they cost, Avery will be after them, and takes them off. Deirdre goes upstairs to get Avery’s things ready for a visit with Ava. Carly explains to Nell how Avery has a different mother, but Sonny wants Avery to have a relationship with her. Nell says she’s seen a toll taken on children because of their parents. She says Avery is a lucky girl.

Morgan tells Ava to back off. She says sooner or later, he’ll hurt Kiki again and she won’t just be standing by.

Some dude demands service at the kiosk. Kiki tells him Morgan will be back in a minute. He suggests Kiki whip something up for him and tries to make a pass at her. He touches her and she backs away. He tells Kiki to relax and she tells him to drop dead. He says he pulls in six figures and can pay for more than a coffee. Kiki says she’s not for sale and walks away, but when dude tries to follow her, Morgan steps in.

Afterglow and Pad Thai at Jordan’s. She orders Andre to quit his job and just cook. She says maybe she can make an exception for some things – like cooking in the bedroom. I added that last part. They get busy and her evidence folders get knocked over. Andre sees the picture of the coin and says he’s seen it before.

Naomi claims to have come to give support. Hayden suggests they have dinner somewhere else. Laura makes a soap opera face at Elizabeth.

Doc tells Lucy he’s having dinner with Laura. She brings up how well he’s dressed and he says she must be meeting someone too, considering what she’s wearing. Like we’ve ever seen Lucy not dressed well, even in her underwear. She tells him she’s meeting Scotty.

Morgan steps on dude’s earpiece and dude punches him. A fight starts and Kiki calls Sonny. She tells him that Morgan is in trouble and to get to the kiosk.

Sonny apologizes for leaving dinner before dessert. Deirdre says Avery’s stuff is ready for her overnight. Nell starts to clear the table and bumps Deirdre. Deirdre drops her bag and Carly’s earrings fall out.

Kiki tries to stop the fight and dude calls her a stuck up bitch. Morgan brings his fist back for a good punch in the face. Kiki tells Morgan to stop. Ava shows up, asking if Kiki really wants to live her life like this. Finally Morgan lets dude go, telling him to get lost, but dude says he’s calling the cops.

Deirdre says she has no idea how the earrings got in there. Carly wants her key back. She tells Deirdre she’ll pay her for the week, but she’s fired. Nell is playing with Avery and tells Carly maybe Deirdre was telling the truth. Carly says she has to be particular about security measures and can’t take chances. She says her search for a nanny is back on. You see where this is going and how it got there, right?

The cops show up at the coffee kiosk..

Andre says it’s a Roman coin from whatever A.D. Because Andre has already been consulted on the murders, Jordan explains about Valerie and the cuff-link. Andre asks if she thinks the murderer was trying to get the cuff-link back. Jordan says she thinks it’s a good lead, but she also thinks she knows who it belongs to. She believes that the killer is right under her nose, but she can’t see it.

Ava shows up at Sonny’s and asks why she saw the nanny being escorted from the property. Carly says something about her being a thief and Ava is like, I don’t want that around my daughter. She asks if Nell is the new nanny and Carly says it’s none of her business. Ava goes upstairs to get Avery. Carly tells Nell that in the beginning, they were just like the parents Nell described, but Sonny realized that he had to change that for Avery’s sake. She tells Nell that Ava is more copacetic, but still can’t be trusted. Upstairs, Ava sneaks into Morgan’s room, confirming what Carly just said.

Morgan tells the cops that dude bothered Kiki. One of the officers asks if Kiki is okay and if Morgan wants to press charges. He says he just wants dude gone and the cops escort dude out. Sonny arrives, but Kiki says Morgan had it under control.

Doc says he didn’t know Lucy was seeing Scotty. She says it’s just casual, and Doc says he gets it. She apologizes for rubbing it in his face. He says when she cheated with Scotty, it hurt him, but he’s past that. He does think Scotty isn’t good enough for her though. She brings up that they’re two formerly married couples switching partners. Please, don’t suggest a double-date.

Laura wants to cancel her dinner plans. She says going out after losing Nicholas doesn’t seem right. Elizabeth says Nicholas wouldn’t want her to stop living, and Doc is probably the only man he’d deem worthy of her attention.

Hayden and Naomi sit down to dinner. Naomi says she didn’t realize how much Hayden hated school. Hayden says Elizabeth just got under her skin and thanks Naomi for being supportive. Naomi says she had her lawyers go over the financials, and it’s not good – Laura has been put in charge of everything. Naomi tells her to come back to the city. She says Hayden doesn’t need to be around Elizabeth and Hayden asks what she’s talking about.

Andre says serial killers feel like they’re bringing order to the chaos in their lives because of some real or imagined slight. He says they’re usually arrogant micro-managers who are also charismatic. She says he just described half the doctors at GH and it could even be him. I hope she’s kidding around, although he’d be one of the few men who might wear cuff-links. I have to add that at the beginning of the scene, Jordan gave him some coffee while he was talking and he threw a thank you her way in the middle of the sentence, which made it seem like a real conversation. Bravo, Anthony Montgomery!

Laura meets Doc and thanks him for encouraging her to get out. Lucy sends over champagne.

Elizabeth talks to Nicholas’s picture. The old Nicholas’s picture. Hmm… This makes me think he’s not dead, because if he was, wouldn’t we see the last guy’s picture? She starts to go out the door and almost trips over a box that’s been delivered. It’s from Nicholas.

Naomi says it’s not just Elizabeth, it’s the entire situation. She says no one has given Hayden anything but grief since she got there and she should get away. Hayden brings up Spencer and Naomi says no way anyone is going to let her get involved. She tells Hayden she’s not walking away with anything and she should close the book on Port Charles.

Carly looks for someone to babysit temporarily, but can’t find anyone except Max and Milo. Carly wonder what about Nell? Big shock.

Kiki apologizes for calling Sonny. Morgan says he understands, but he finally felt like he could think before he acted. Sonny says as long as he sticks to therapy and medication, he can handle anything. We see Ava picking up Morgan’s bottle of lithium.

Tomorrow, Sonny can’t wait to see what Morgan does, Doc asks Laura to come up for a nightcap, and Nina tells Franco that she met a tall, handsome stranger.

The Real Housewives of the OC

When we last left, Heather was sobbing in the limo to Terry about Kelly’s behavior at Tamra and Meghan’s party. After she tried to throw Kelly out of a party that she wasn’t hosting. I actually thought that was pretty funny.

Meghan sends a wish-you-were-here text to Jim while she’s at the doctor’s office. Meghan rehashes the party with her mother, telling her that Kelly called Shannon a see-you-next-Tuesday name. The doctor comes out and gives Meghan the lowdown. There are four viable embryos. She gets Jim on the phone. It’s three girls and a boy, and Jim already has three boys. The doctor says the best embryo is one of the girls with a 90% chance and the least viable is one of the boys, with a 60% chance. Jim wants to talk to Meghan alone. They’d wanted a boy, but since the girl has the better chance, she suggests they do both. Jim agrees. Meghan says she never imagined her husband wouldn’t be in the same room with her when she got pregnant, yet here we are. The implant is done pretty quickly.

Tamra meets Heather at a place called The Writing Studio, where Heather’s daughter is taking a class. Heather tells Tamra she’s exhausted and damaged. I have the feeling she doesn’t even know what damaged is if she thinks seeing someone behave badly at a party can be filed under that. Tamra thinks there’s something seriously wrong with Kelly, and that she lashes out against other people because she’s been hurt. Heather says she’s proud of Tamra for being so reasonable and not reacting like a heathen at the party. Heather wonders how they’ll be able to invite Kelly to anything again. Tamra has a trip planned and is on the fence about what to do. Heather is bringing her kids, so she’s concerned Kelly might flip out in front of them.

Kelly visits Meghan, who is back from the implanting. She shows Kelly the first ultrasound. Kelly has been through the same procedure, so she can identify. Meghan says she’s going to be blunt, she’s on Shannon’s side this time and Kelly was wrong to name call. Kelly says she went from 0 to 10 immediately and she’s sorry. Meghan says she was hypocritical as well, since the whole thing started with Kelly being upset at being called a prostitute. She says even though she loves Kelly, she was embarrassed to be her friend when she was acting psychotic. I never thought I’d say this, and I’m still not crazy about her, but I’m with Meghan here. I totally get why Kelly is pissed about Shannon inviting those girls to the party, and I’m even not so sure it wasn’t done on purpose, but she has got to get herself under control.

Kelly says she felt ganged up on and got defensive, and nothing like that had ever happened to her before. She should have stopped there. She goes on to tell Meghan that it wasn’t about herself and that Meghan will understand when she’s a mother. In her interview, Meghan says that Kelly is way out of line here and isn’t considering what affect her behavior might have on her own daughter. Meghan suggests Kelly can move beyond this by stopping and considering logic next time. I think Kelly knows how badly she screwed up and now she’s scared. Kelly says she’s lucky to have Meghan as a friend.

David calls Shannon and sings Happy Birthday. He says he has some special things planned and to pack a suitcase and be ready in twenty minutes. They’re going on an overnight. In her interview, Shannon says it’s hard for David to surprise her. Even when he was going to propose, the jewelry store called and left a message that he ring was ready.

David arrives and Shannon is gathering up the million things she needs, trying to pack. We flash back to last year’s birthday, which was not the best. Just packing all her potions, lotions and holistic treatments takes Shannon forever.

The gang has all been invited to a surprise party in Santa Fe. On the party bus, we find out that David has also planned a vow renewal. Heather has been helping him on the sly.

Shannon is pretty excited. David tells her that it’s something they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. Shannon has gotten a lot of birthday texts, as well as a phone call from Vicki inviting her to Vicki’s birthday celebration that is coming up. She says she forgives Vicki, but doesn’t want to be her friend anymore and thinks Kelly is a nutcase. Hey, at least she didn’t get an enema doohickey stuck in herself.

They arrive at the inn where Shannon and David got married. They’re in the Honeysuckle Suite. Shannon is thrilled at David’s thoughtfulness. I have to admit, he’s recovered well from the cheating thing.

Vicki meets Kelly for lunch. Kelly says they’re the odd men out, since everyone else is at Shannon’s party. Vicki says a lot has changed in a year, since at this same time last year, she and Shannon were very close. Kelly tries to justify what she did at the party, although she admits she shouldn’t have called Shannon the c-word. Vicki says her mother was a screamer and she’s the same way. We flash back to the 80s party from God only knows how many seasons ago. Yep. She’s a screamer.

Kelly wants Vicki to teach her how to be a better person. Vicki suggests poise. Good luck with that. I don’t think poise is Kelly’s strong suit. Vicki adds that they’ll make fools of the other women. Highly unlikely. Kelly says they’re hated because the others want to be them. Nope.

Jeff, Jenni and Gage from Flipping Out are at the party. David tells Shannon they’re going to dinner. Heather coordinates with David and has everyone stand at the ready. Shannon is totally shocked at seeing all the guests. Lots of applause and happy birthdays. How long before someone brings up Kelly and Vicki?

Vicki and Kelly discuss going to Greece. Vicki asks if Kelly is okay with going without her husband. Kelly says of course, and the reason they’d separated was because he was too controlling. They talk about Kelly’s marriage and how one minute she’s madly in love and the next she wants to jet.

David takes Shannon outside and she gets all emotional. Inside, Jeff talks to Tamra about the rift between Shannon and Vicki. Heather tells the others that David has another surprise and took Shannon back to their room. The hostess comes in to escort them to the next venue. It’s a gorgeous outdoor space with lots of candles and twinkles, where it looks like a fairy wedding is about to take place.

At the Honeysuckle Suite, David tells Shannon he’s nervous and she wonders what he has to be nervous about. He walks her to where the others are. Shannon is totally freaked and asks why the kids are there. She tells David she’s blown away and that she would have worn a different dress. Yep, that’s the downside to surprises. You have to go with whatever you’re wearing at the time.

In her interview, Shannon says she wouldn’t be with David today if it hadn’t been for the pastor who’s officiating. She says this reinforces that the choices she made in staying together were the right ones. David tells Shannon how much he loves her and can’t wait to spend the next 50 years growing old with her. In her interview, Shannon says it’s a gift that her children are able to witness this. Heather says blah-blah-blah because I’m annoyed with her. The pastor re-pronounces them husband and wife. Shannon says it would have been easier to give up, but their children were all worth it. Meghan says it’s spectacular to make this kind of rebound from an affair less than two years later. I agree. Oh Lord, that’s the second time I’ve agreed with Meghan tonight.

Shannon thanks everyone for coming. The hostess comes out and points everyone to the diner table. Shannon tells David everything is surreal. He tells her there’s another surprise. The next day they’re going on a second honeymoon in Cabo. He’s even arranged for someone to take care of the kids.

David stands up to make a toast, saying he’s proud of where they’ve been and where they’re going. Holy! Someone makes a joke about the cake having a bonfire on it, but it’s true. Shannon blows out the candles.

Next time, it’s Vicki’s turn for a birthday celebration, Meghan might be pregnant, Ryan comes home to the OC and Heather confronts Kelly.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Just a little request. I love it that anyone reads this and especially welcome comments, but please, don’t put the link to your how-I-made-money-on-Google site or whatever multi-level marketing you’re into. A link to a blog I can understand, but the scam of the week is not going to be given airtime. K? Thx.

General Hospital

Jason tells Sam to face her fear and not put off dealing with it. She admits she’s afraid, but shouldn’t be, and tells him she’s pregnant.

Kiki has asked Ava to meet her at the restaurant. Kiki tells her that she supports Morgan completely in telling Ava to back off. Ava asks if Kiki is ready to spend her life with Morgan, because that’s what he has in mind.

Nina apologizes to Carly for contacting Nell, but Carly wants to thank her. Nina says that’s a change, since people don’t usually thank her for disrespecting their boundaries.

Jax sees Nell in the hospital with Sonny. He says he thought she was leaving town and she tells him she was, but Michael stopped her. Now she wants answers, for them and for herself.

Sam thought she had fertility problems and couldn’t get pregnant. Now she’s kicking herself for not modifying her behavior. Like she’s an alcoholic or something. She tells Jason that if she was exposed to malaria, the baby could have it too.

Ava says Morgan knocked on her door, not the other way around. She says she wants what’s best for Kiki and Morgan is only interested in what she can do for him.

Dillon and Morgan meet in the elevator going up to the MetroCourt. Morgan thinks Dillon is there to see Kiki and says he’s pathetic. Dillon asks if he’s so pathetic, why is Morgan threatened by him? Touche.

Curtis joins Carly and Nina. Nina tells Carly that he should be the one she’s thanking. Carly thanks him and he tells her to keep them posted about Josslyn (whose name I’ve been spelling wrong). She leaves and Curtis tells Nina that he wishes he could make every beautiful woman that happy to see him.

Jax is concerned about Nell and sorry that things got heated. She tells him Michael explained that the extended family doesn’t always get along and he says that’s an understatement. Sonny says they all want what’s best for Josslyn. Monica joins them and suggests they get started with the tests, taking Nell back with her. Sonny tells Jax he doesn’t like him much, but admits he’s a good father. He doesn’t understand why Jax doesn’t want to know if Nell is the donor though. Jax says if Nell turns out to be the donor, there’s no going back and they’ll have to tell Josslyn. He’s concerned about how she’ll react.

Curtis and Nina discuss his investigation into bad plastic surgery. She tells him his report looks great and he says he’s two for two now. She says they’ll see if he finishes as strong as he started.

Kiki blows Ava off. Ava’s phone rings. She sees Dillon and Morgan walk in together. Dillon orders coffee and flirts with the server. Morgan gives Kiki flowers. He says he has something to talk to her about and she says ditto. Dillon starts to leave and literally runs into Kiki, spilling the coffee all over himself.

Carly shows up at the hospital. She tells Jax that she’s considered his point of view, but if it turns out Nell is the donor, they’ll have to tell Josslyn. He tells her she’s jumping the gun. Nell comes out and says Monica is putting a rush on the results and everyone should stay put. Carly thanks Nell, but Nell says she’s doing it for herself too.

Carly says they haven’t really had a chance to know Nell and they sit to talk. Nell says she’s an only child, but she always loved kids, which is why she’s studying to be a teacher. Monica comes out with the fastest test results ever. That does it. I’m making friends with a hospital’s chief-of-staff.

Jason tells Sam to quit reading pamphlets and worrying about problems that don’t exist yet. He says they’ll wait for the test results and plan accordingly. She says she knows Jason is scared. He says any man with sense would be afraid, but he loves her and they’re going to deal with it together. Where are guys like this IRL?

The server goes to get Dillon another coffee. Morgan acts stupid like Dillon did this on purpose, and Dillon says he’d better go change before work. Kiki tells Morgan that she literally didn’t see that coming. Morgan makes a snarky remark about coming up in the elevator with Dillon. Ava says she’s got to run and tells Morgan she thinks he left something out when repeating their conversation to Kiki. Kiki asks Morgan what’s up with that and he says he told Ava that wants to marry Kiki.

Sam says she’d wanted a baby, but didn’t dare hope. She was about to tell Jason when he got sick. She says when Finn told her about the possible complications, she went from ecstatic to terrified in a heartbeat. She apologizes for not telling Jason, and says she panicked. She says she made the same mistake in not telling him about Danny and how different their lives would have been if she had. He shows her his hand and says the next time she panics, to grab it. He’s killing me here.

Michael and Sabrrrina are sitting on a bench outside the coffee shop. Michael wants to know why Sabrrrina didn’t tell him that Joe gave her and Teddy a ride home from the hospital. Paranoid much?  Joe comes by and asks if everything is okay.

Monica says the sonogram shows that it’s a strong possibility Nell is the donor. They need a kidney biopsy to be sure, but it’s very invasive and the risks are high. She leaves them to talk about it. Nell says she wants to do it, but the rest think it’s asking too much. She says she wants to know if what happened to her did some good. She steps away, saying she needs time alone.

Carly, Jax and Sonny discuss the possible biopsy. Sonny confesses that he had his people check out her story and thinks Nell is the donor. Carly asks what he found out.

Nina says Curtis’s investigation practically writes itself and she should give him a byline. He says all he does is investigate things and she tells him not to sell himself short.

Ava sees Dillon changing clothes and says she needs to talk to him about something.

Kiki asks Morgan if he’s serious. Morgan says while he loves Kiki, he just said that about getting married to get a rise out of Ava. (Hmm…I dunno about that) He adds that he did want Ava to know Kiki will always be the one for him. The server comes out asking Kiki to please get back to work. Oh, that’s right, she actually has a job there.

Sonny checked out people who have illegally harvested organs within a certain radius. He found a clinic that was shut down a year ago and confirmed that it was operating during Josslyn’s transplant. Carly thanks him and he says he’d do anything for her. Jax says he was hoping to avoid this and wonders how they’ll tell Joss.

Sabrrrina tells Michael about Joe’s fellowship. Joe says he’ll also be doing surgery. Michael’s phone rings. Carly tells him to pick Joss up from camp and bring her to the hospital, and she’ll explain later. He jets. Sabrrrina tells Joe she should go too, and he tells her this has to stop. He says she’s been running hot and cold with him since he arrived. He tells her that he’s not trying to ruin anything for her, but he’s family and they need to be honest with each other.

Carly tells Jax they’ll make everything okay for Josslyn. She thinks Joss will be grateful. Sonny says maybe telling Joss isn’t her call and she might want to consider someone else. Nell comes back. Carly says not to be nervous about the biopsy and they have something else to ask her.

Sam tells Jason she’s mad at herself because she wasted so much time worrying. She tells him about getting sick while she was talking to Elizabeth and how Elizabeth encouraged her to tell him. He says maybe the past got in the way of her being honest.

Nina tells Curtis that what he does is important and it matters. She says Josslyn has a healthier future now. He says he did that because she paid him and if there’s a hero, it’s her. She says no, it should be Carly. She says Carly is an amazing mother and she likes to think she would have been the same way. Curtis says just because being a mother wasn’t in the cards for her doesn’t mean she won’t have a productive life. Thank you.

Ava tells Dillon that his work for Crimson is impressive.and she’d like him to take pictures of some of the art pieces at the gallery. He agrees. She says she was afraid he’d turn her down flat because of Kiki.

Morgan tells Kiki about some plans for the coffee shop, like frequent buyer cards and events. She’s a little taken aback because of the way he’s rattling on. He asks if she thinks he’s being manic again.

Carly explains to Nell what Sonny did. She says it’s all the proof they need. Jax thanks her for saving their daughter. Nell asks if they’re sure it’s enough, and Carly says it is for them. Nell asks Carly what she wanted to ask. Carly says she wants to tell Josslyn that Nell is the donor, and Joss is on her way there. She says she hopes Nell is okay with that, and Nell says sure. Josslyn arrives and asks why everyone is there.

Nina says she has another job for Curtis. She says she’ll give him an expense account, OT, and when it’s over, he gets a bonus; money is no object. She wants him to find her a baby.

Kiki tells Morgan she’s glad he has something he’s passionate about besides her. Not that the latter is a bad thing, but it’s good he has an outside project. She goes back to work because she finally remembers she has a job.

Ava tells Dillon that she was afraid he wouldn’t want to work with her because things didn’t work out with Kiki. He says that’s between him and Kiki. She says they clearly still have a connection, but Dillon says Kiki has a stronger one with Morgan. Ava says if he’s still interested, she knows he has a chance.

Joe says he wants to be in Teddy’s life to give him the support that he couldn’t give to his brother. He says that means being in her life too, and he needs her trust.

Joss is surprised to see Nell, who said she was leaving town. Nell tells her she had a good reason to stay. Joss tells Carly to just say it. Carly tells Josslyn that Nell is her kidney donor and saved her life. Everyone tears up.

Jason tells Sam that he made promises he couldn’t keep when they got married, and it was his fault that he chose to live a certain way. She says she accepted it, but Jason says it kept them apart and their family should have been his priority. She says the baby might not live to be born, but he says the baby is there now, and he’ll do better in keeping his promises. He asks her to marry him.

Tomorrow, Paul tells Tracy that she’s scaring him, Ava encourages Dillon to romance Kiki, and Josslyn does not take the news of her kidney donor well. I realize I’m no longer a teenager, but I fail to see what’s bad about this, especially since it concerns her health.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Kelly visits Tamra. I think Tamra invited her over to have an excuse to drink. OMG – Kelly’s blouse is everything! Kelly tells Tamra about her meeting with Shannon. In her interview, Tamra says she thinks Shannon is good at heart, but has had issues with everyone and we flash back to one of them. Kelly tells her about how she thinks Shannon set her up at the party, but Tamra wonders what would have been in it for her. Tamra adds fuel to the fire by saying that Shannon’s friend, Nina, said that Kelly gives BJs to pay her bills. I’d pontificate on how we’re all prostitutes in some way, but there isn’t enough time.

Tamra is having a last hurrah party, since both she and Meghan have to stop their partying ways for a while. Kelly helps her with Japanese place cards (why Japanese? who knows) and I get confused, wondering why she didn’t involve Jules, who is Asian. Then I remember that Jules isn’t on this show. All these women blend in together after a while.

Vicki and Briana sit down for a meal with Briana’s terror of a toddler. Briana talks about the house renovations and Vicki talks about buying a boat, since Don got the boat in the divorce. Vicki says she wants a husband to do things with. Uh…you don’t need to have a husband for that. She’s bummed about starting over again, and thinking about someone younger this time. Briana suggests she get back with Don, but that’s a no. I don’t care if this sounds old school, but I think any man who wants spousal support from a woman, especially when he makes good money, is a real tool and should be avoided at all costs.

Tamra calls Meghan to make sure she’s okay with the guest list. Meghan is skeptical about inviting Vicki, although she was okay with it the day before. Tamra offers to un-invite Vicki. This seems to be a thing on these shows. I swear, if anyone ever un-invited me to something, it would be the last time we spoke. Meghan decides she’s not coming, which is really lovely since she’s co-hostess. Tamra says she’ll cancel the party and Meghan acts like a hormonal a-hole who can’t decide what her name is, much less who should be invited to anything.

Heather is just home from DC and goes directly to work on The Doctors, where she’s doing some hosting. For a moment, I think she’s talking about the old soap opera and wonder how it could still be on the air. Why are they allowing someone who does leech treatments host this show? She talks about how she and Terry call themselves Mr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig, and shows a picture of them steaming their private areas. Who does that? Better still, who takes a picture of it?

Meghan is working with one of Shannon’s many doctors, Dr. Tim. She’s pretty uncomfortable with bloating and cramps, so she’s hoping to find some holistic relief. He is a real doctor, but he starts talking about the energy field and whatnot. Shannon comes in to observe. She says Dr. Tim deals with both Western and Eastern sports medicine. We see a clip of Shannon seeing him and her crying, “Ow!” like she did during Dr. Moon’s cupping treatments, which irritates me to no end. Her voice hits the same nerve as a piercing bark does and I’m guessing that she must be made out of tissue paper.

Apparently, Dr. Tim was at the 70s party, so we get to see that again too. Tamra comes in and Meghan says she wanted to do baby steps in being friendly with Vicki and then says she thinks Vicki should come to the party. I can’t take much more of her mood swings. Shannon goes blah-blah-blah about negativity. In her interview, Shannon says she’s immovable on not wanting to be in Vicki’s sphere. Tamra brings up Shannon inviting Vicki to the 70s party and tells her not to shame others for doing the same thing she did, adding that you can’t hold on to sh*tty feelings forever. In her interview, Tamra schools us in forgiveness. Shannon can’t seem to understand why everyone is trying to be friendly with Vicki again. Maybe because you all have to be on the show together? She says she’s done. For all her spiritual/outer space thinking, she’s basically a weird mean girl. I’m pretty disappointed since I liked her a lot last season.

Vicki visits Kelly. She tells Vicki to pick out some wine and we see that Kelly has a humongous blinged out corkscrew. And by humongous, I mean it’s like 3 feet tall. Kelly relays what Tamra told her about Nina calling her a prostitute. She texted Shannon about getting a lawyer for a defamation case, but didn’t hear anything back. People love to throw the d-word around, but I think something like that is pretty hard to win. You actually have to prove you were hurt in some way, and not just your feelings.

Shannon calls Tamra about the text. At least Tamra admits she’s the one who told Kelly. She tells Shannon that Kelly thinks she was set up. Shannon is pissed that Tamra is defending Kelly. Tamra says she’s not going to battle about it. In her interview, Tamra says Shannon is victimizing herself again and I totally agree.

Vicki talks about how rude David was to her at the party and wonders if she did something to prompt it. Kelly thinks both Shannon and David are crazy. Vicki says if David is ever in a room with her again, she’s going to tear him up. She says he was a little frightening and he hurt her with what he said. Kelly is disgusted that anyone would say something so vicious about her when she has a daughter who could get wind of it.

Oh, okay, the party is at a Japanese restaurant, which explains the place cards. Granddaughter momma Sarah comes along with Tamra to prepare. This girl looks almost exactly like Lisa Kudrow and every time she’s on the show, I think that’s who she is at first. Tamra has made origami cranes to put near each place card and a lovely origami penis to sit beside Meghan’s. She suggests keeping Shannon as far away from Vicki as possible. Vicki shows up with a peace offering gift for Meghan and in her interview, Meghan says she wishes Vicki had stayed home because Meghan is such an endearing soul.

Shannon and Heather ride over together. In her interview, Kelly says she had to restrain herself from slapping Shannon across the face and I know the feeling. I want to slap her every time she says, “Ow!” Meghan’s actual fertilization or whatever is tomorrow and they discuss the procedure while they all drink like fish. Kelly brings up having a psychic reading and we flash back to the disaster from last year.

In her interview, Meghan is pissed because Kelly is friendly with Vicki. I guess Kelly should only be friends with who Meghan wants to be friends with, since we’re 14 years old. She toasts to Tamra and thanks her for putting the party together. Kelly talks to Meghan about what Nina said. Meghan says she’s not making sense and sounds like a broken Tourettes record. (Um…isn’t that sort of like calling someone retarded? Not too insensitive.) Shannon says that Nina never said Kelly was a prostitute. To her credit, Meghan interjects that she heard it, which I’m sure annoys Shannon even more. Kelly suddenly starts listing her own accomplishments, including a college education, like she’s reading her resume. Shannon asks if Kelly is going to start yelling at her again. Kelly tells her to STFU and calls her something that was bleeped and I wasn’t looking, so I couldn’t lip read either.

Time stops. Kelly says what Nina said about her is defamation of character. Meghan tries to diffuse things, and Kelly tells her wait until she has child and she’ll look at things differently. Tamra gets involved and Kelly calls her a dumb f–k. Heather gets up, saying this is not okay and she’s not doing this. She tells Kelly she’s probably a good person, but her behavior isn’t okay and tells her to leave. When Kelly is like huh? since it’s not Heather’s party, Heather says she’ll leave. Tamra follows her. Heather tells Tamra she never wants to see Kelly again. Heather starts going on about who said what and where and ends up wagging her finger in Vicki’s face. Yes, you read that right. Vicki wasn’t even involved.

Meghan tells Sarah that this isn’t the Kelly she knows and she obviously can’t control herself. Kelly has joined the group outside, telling them she’s only upset with Shannon’s friend and she’s sorry she name called. She goes back in. Tamra tells Shannon that Kelly is in pain and she can see it in Kelly’s eyes, but Shannon says she only sees evil. Oddly enough, Tamra is the only one making sense. She asks Shannon if she has any compassion and Shannon says she’s learned how to avoid getting hurt, but Tamra “isn’t there yet.” So glad to hear that Shannon has arrived and is now perfect. She says it’s not Tamra’s responsibility to take care of other people’s problems. In her interview, Shannon says that Kelly has attacked her three times – three strikes and you’re out. How original.

Heather calls Terry up from the car, bawling like she’s a toddler. Please. She says she doesn’t want anyone to ever see her with Kelly. Back at the restaurant, Kelly does an imitation of Heather for Tamra and Vicki, saying in her interview that Heather managed to make it all about her. By God, she’s right.

Next time, Meghan gets fertilized, Heather lectures Tamra, Kelly and Meghan talk, Shannon and David renew their vows, we see Shannon with no makeup, and I get scared.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

The vial that Franco was carrying has tested positive for the drug that killed the other patients and the only prints on it are his. Amy II makes a bunch of accusatory noises and Jordan tells her she’s not a police officer. Now I’m wondering if it’s Amy who’s killing off the patients. Although she doesn’t need drugs. She can talk them to death.

Elizabeth asks Franco what he wants with her because she’s really, really stupid, and doesn’t understand how she ended up with children.

Nina is at The Floating Rib, going over the stories that people have sent her in regard to the organ donation story.

Carly, who is babysitting Roxie, tries to get her to eat something. Finn comes in saying hello to “his best girl.” Carly thanks him, but he picks up Roxie and kisses her. I gotta say, it’s really cute. Every time he kisses her nose, her little feet go up in the air. I’ve always wanted a lizard.

The group in Greece has landed on some island. Doc is sleeping and Sam suggests someone stay awake at all times in case a boat comes by. Oh look! It’s the Ionian Princess! Not really, but that would be funny.

Sam wants to go back to the crash site to find Jason. She says if he’s hurt, he’s not going to make it through the night. I guess I missed something here. Like the part where everyone left the plane and he didn’t make it.

Valerie talks about Franco leaving the statue for the patient. Curtis wonders if the patient didn’t bring it back to her room herself. Amy says Franco was acting “shifty” and “ominous.” She makes up some nonsense and Curtis questions her, but Jordan says she’ll handle it. Curtis and Valerie make a rain check for their date.

Franco says he hasn’t really thought about what he wants long term, but right now he was thinking dinner. Elizabeth says the studio is weird (yeah, it’s an art studio) and he says he brought her there hoping she’d get to know him better. He suggests she open and pour the champagne. He tells her she can try to call the cops while he looks for glasses, but the reception is lousy.

Carly says she wasn’t expecting Finn back so soon. She gets a call. It’s some kind of emergency, and she has to go. Finn tells Roxie he’s sorry he didn’t bring anything back for her. Ingo Rademacher (i.e. Jax) is behind him and says, from the looks of things, it’s true love. When did he show up? While checking the spelling of his name, I found out he was born in West Germany, which surprised me.

Finn tells Jax that Roxie is his service animal. He says Jax seems pretty familiar with bearded dragons and Jax explains he used to see them all the time when he lived in Australia. Carly comes back and asks Jax (say that three times real fast) what he’s doing there.

Amy tells Jordan and Valerie that Franco and Elizabeth are on a date. Jordan wonders where they might have gone, but Amy says he doesn’t share information with too many people. Jordan expresses concern about Franco’s temperament. Andre comes out of the elevator and Jordan says she could use his help.

Elizabeth tries to text her babysitter and finally gets it to go through. She pours the champagne and asks Franco what all the stuff is around the studio. He says some of it is for inspiration and some he just can’t get rid of. He talks about his work being dark and angry and how it bothers some people.

Curtis joins Nina at the bar. She tells him that Carly told her to stop pursuing the organ donor story, but she thinks Carly is being pressured, so she’s ignoring that.

Sam is afraid Jason might be disoriented. She thinks he got off the plane before it exploded. Missed that too. Ava says they owe Jason their lives because he gave them time to get away, but there’s no way he could still be alive. That’s right, because even after Carrrlos dying and coming back a dozen times, this could not even be a possibility.

Carly introduces Jax to Finn. Finn says Jocelyn shares Jax’s appreciation for bearded dragons. Carly asks if Jocelyn knows he’s there. Jax says he texted her, but she seems to be busy, so he was going to surprise her.

Curtis asks Nina what she wants him to do. She says nothing illegal, but she could use his investigative talents. He says as long as she’s paying. He asks why she’s at the bar alone. She says her life partner wan’t in it for life.

Franco tells Elizabeth how he thought he’d lost his motivation to paint when the tumor was removed, but he suddenly has new feelings he wants to express. She says he never lost his talent and it sounds like he’s getting his confidence back. He wants to show her a painting that’s motivated by feelings other than anger. He says she hopes she doesn’t find it disturbing.

Jordan brings Andre up to speed. Andre says he did a psyche evaluation when Franco was reinstated. He tells her that Franco seemed to have an unnatural fixation with death. Jordan has Valerie look around his locker and asks Andre to come with her to the art therapy room. She asks if he minds. He says it’s strictly professional and they’ll leave their personal stuff out of it.

Sam says she gave up on Jason once and she’s not doing it again. Ava suggests she wait until morning and Dante seconds that. She says she’s going now and collapses. I guess she’s waiting.

Valerie tells Jordan nothing is out of the ordinary. Jordan says they have to track down Franco immediately. He’s been drawing death masks of the patients who were killed. Andre says that doesn’t mean it has anything to do with the murders. He says Franco is used to expressing himself with his art and could be using it as a coping mechanism. Jordan says he wouldn’t have known about the last victim and they have to track him down.

Elizabeth asks why Franco is nervous, since he’s shown his art all over the world. He says the painting is of her. He shows her and she says it’s beautiful.

Nina says Franco is one of the few people in her life who understood her, but she thinks she outgrew him. She changed and she didn’t think he could follow. She says she’s proud of what she’s accomplished and likes herself, but Franco couldn’t deal with that. She thinks there’s a part of him that he can’t control or trust. What one has to do with the other, I’m not sure. Jordan and Valerie overhear.

Carly tells Finn about dropping the search. He asks why the change of heart. Jax says Jocelyn asked them to and they’re honoring her wishes. Finn says it’s a mistake.

Sam is like, I’m fine now, let’s get going. The group hears something and thinks it’s a boat. Has everyone forgotten about Valentin and that he could still be hunting for them?

Finn says he wants to make sure they make an informed decision. Jax says they appreciate it, but he and Carly will take it from there. Finn leaves to take Roxie for a walk, and Carly chastises Jax for jumping the gun telling Finn before she had a chance to. He asks if she’s really changed her mind.

Jordan asks Nina if they’ve seen Franco, but she says no. Valerie interrupts, saying she thinks Franco brought Elizabeth to his art studio. Nina says Franco didn’t waste any time. Curtis tells Nina that Franco is an idiot, and that she shouldn’t be drowning her sorrows.

Um…the painting is nice, but it resembles something I’ve seen at the 4-H exhibition. Elizabeth says it reminds her of a Renoir because she knows less than nothing about art. Franco talks about studying the masters. He says the impressionists had the right idea about finding beauty in an imperfect world. Elizabeth says she thinks they painted things accurately for the first time and that she once dreamed of being an artist, but that’s not who she sees herself as anymore. Franco says someone as beautiful as she is shouldn’t have a problem creating beautiful things. He asks if she thinks he’s being stalkerish by painting her without her knowledge. She says no. He asks if he could do another painting. She says only if she can paint him.

Amy acts stupid about Finn’s lizard, like it might attack her. If only. He asks if she can help him in reestablishing his lab.

The boat passes. At least Lulu suggests it might have been Valentin. The others wander off and she tells Dante that she found something on Cassadine Island that upset her. She shows him the bracelet and tells him she found it on a skeleton in the tunnels.

Amy tells Finn he has to talk to Obrecht. He guesses he’ll have to bite the bullet and decides to track her down tomorrow. Amy asks what he’s researching. He says since she’s so good at keeping a secret and it’s not for the public, she’ll have to wait.

Curtis sees Andre. He tells him not to be too hard on Jordan. He says that she’s been dealing with TJ on her own for a while, so don’t expect her to be open. Andre is totally rude and says he didn’t ask for relationship advice.

Elizabeth is impressed with Franco’s cooking. They smile at each other and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Valerie and Jordan. Jordan says they have some questions.

Nina goes back to her room. She drops her key before she can get the door open and hears someone in the hallway.

Dante tells Lulu not to jump to conclusions. Laura says she thinks the antibiotics are working. Sam wants to get moving again. Dante says she could be walking into a trap. Sam hears something, yells, “Jason, is that you?” and goes running into the woods. Dante runs after her and I laugh because it looks like he’s trying to tackle her. Seriously here. Why would Sam act so reckless?

Tomorrow, Jax tells Carly to let the organ donor search go, Franco tells Jordan to get a search warrant, and Spencer calls his father.

The Real Housewives of the OC

When last we left, Shannon’s 70s party ended up a huge success total disaster. I’m quite sure we’ll be feeling the aftermath for the rest of the season.

Meghan and her mother are at the doctor for the embryo transfer preparation. I’m not sure what’s up with Meghan’s hair. Either she has those awful highlights that make it look like you have grey hair or she’s getting grey hair. Meghan is annoyed that Jimmy isn’t there, but they pump her full of drugs and she doesn’t care anymore. In her interview, Meghan tells us to say yes to drugs. I think Meghan’s brain is probably that same fried egg with or without them. It turns out that the doctor’s ex-wife was one of the twits that started the whole debacle at Shannon’s party. Meghan tells him that his ex has a colorful mouth.

Vicki and Tamra chat, and Vicki thinks they might be able to rekindle their friendship. Tamra is still trying to process what happened at the party. Vicki says she had nothing against David, but she does now.

Shannon is upset that Vicki said she was manufacturing drama. Well, who invited those two-bit ho’s who ganged up on Kelly? We flash back to Shannon, hysterical and barely making sense, trying to get David to stand up for her. She’s not happy about what Kelly said, but she’s also not happy with the way she reacted.

Kelly says it was 100% an ambush. She explains that she was engaged to someone else while she was legally separated from her husband, which explains Shannon’s babbling about her having an affair. I totally understand this, having been in nearly the same position myself. Apparently both of us decided that the evil we knew was better than the one we didn’t.

Meghan has been invited to speak to a group of colon cancer survivors on Capital Hill. She’s advocating for a colon cancer screening bill and Heather is going with her. She wants LeAnn to look down and be proud of her. It’s strange how Meghan seems to have become closer to LeAnn after LeAnn’s death. She and Heather discuss having kids. Meghan toys with the idea of twins, and Heather tells her that twins are pretty difficult. In her interview, Heather says it makes you want to kill yourself.

Shannon goes to see Dr. Moon. She says he keeps the good energy flowing. Maybe she should have checked in with him before that party. He sticks a bunch of plastic cups on her and she tells us that “cupping” brings the toxins out of the body. She hollers “ow!” every time he sticks another one on and it grates on my nerves. Looking at her with these cups on her back sucking her flesh reminds me of the leech treatment scene in The Devils. Dr. Moon pokes holes in her skin to help release the toxins. Have I used the word “insane” yet?

Heather and Meghan go to dinner. Meghan tells Heather that she’s pissed about Jim not being around. She says on the two days he had off, he dared to play golf. She says he’s not going to be there for the embryo transfer, although her mother will be. Nice of her to be grateful that she has the latter. In her interview, Heather says she understands it from both sides, since Jimmy already has four kids and he’s not the enthusiastic type. That’s an understatement. She complains about Terry working all the time and Meghan frets about feeling like a single mom. She’s hoping Jimmy is a more involved father than pending father.

Kelly says the worst problem in their marriage is that Michael doesn’t listen to her or take her advice. I’m identifying all over the place tonight. Kelly’s brother and mother are having dinner with them, and she tells them about Shannon’s party. Her mother is all diplomatic, saying she should give Shannon a chance and maybe she’s not “that way.” Michael wants her to figure out how to make things work and mom says some nonsense about forgiveness. All that’s fine, but how about the issue of Shannon setting Kelly up?

Tamra is meeting with her trainer, Mia, who is also her spiritual adviser. Tamra is training to be a bikini competitor. Oh, it’s that kind of competition. I was thinking more along the lines of Corey Everson. As though she read my mind, Tamra tells us that Mia was once a Miss Olympia. Mia explains how Tamra has to present herself. They video chat with the costume designer and work on Tamra’s walk. Tamra seems to have trouble with stripper heels, which confuses me, since I thought all of these women wear them on a daily basis. Mia tells her she’ll need to flirt with the judges. After some uncoordinated first attempts, Tamra finally gets the walk down.

It’s time for Meghan’s speech. At first, she has difficulty not stammering and doing a lot of um’s and uh’s. Once she actually gets into talking about the disease, she gets better. In her interview, Meghan says she’s grown a lot in the last year and she’s proud of herself for taking on all the responsibilities that she has. She now never says LeAnn’s name without prefacing it with “my friend.” I guess what’s bugging me about this is, she makes it sound like she was friends with LeAnn all along, when she wouldn’t have even known LeAnn if she hadn’t married LeAnn’s ex-husband.

I just Googled this and Jim had a wife in between them, who Megan is definitely not friends with. And it sounds like there’s a reason.

Briana is redecorating the house Vicki got for her in the OC. In her interview, Vicki says the best thing about breaking up with Brooks is that she has her daughter back 100%. We flash back to a few unsavory scenes with Briana cursing out Brooks. Briana’s kids are at the house, tripping over things, when neither one of them should be anywhere near a plug, power tool or anything that has to do with construction. Briana is nervous about how much everything is going to cost.

Tamra drops by. They’re in the same neighborhood, although Briana is “outside the gate.” That reminds me of the scene in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert when Bernadette wonders if the gate is there to keep outsiders from getting in or to keep them from getting out. In her interview, Briana says she needs more medical tests, but right now her leg problem is stable. Troy locks himself inside the car. I would never, ever babysit these children.

Kelly calls Shannon. Ew. She asks if Shannon would meet her for coffee. In her interview, Kelly says that she believes Shannon set her up, but after listening to her mom, she thinks they should talk. She says if Shannon says she didn’t do it, she’ll try to believe her.

Tamra calls Heather in Washington. Heather says they’re working hard, but Tamra says she can hear the champagne. Damn if she isn’t right. Meghan tells Tamra she had a moment with Vicki at the party when she told Vicki about the IVF and showed her bloated belly. We flash back and there’s an awkward hug. It’s Megan and Tamra’s last chance to drink for a while, so they want to get together with the girls, but Heather is hesitant about Shannon and Kelly being in the same room. Tamra tells her that they’re getting together on their own.

Meghan says that when she was at the party, she saw Shannon taking the two bullies aside to talk and she smelled a set-up. She says she likes Shannon, but she saw what she saw. For a moment, I like Meghan. I’m like that too. Even if you’re my best friend, if you’re wrong, you’re wrong.

Kelly and Shannon meet. Kelly doesn’t beat around the bush and asks her how long she’s known Jacquie and if she’s a good friend. Shannon wonders why she’s being put on the witness stand. In her interview, she says she thought it was going to be an apology, not a cross-examination. Kelly doesn’t buy that Shannon wasn’t aware that Kelly knew Jacquie, even though she says she didn’t. Shannon says she’d never have a party to stir things up. She says that Kelly insulted a third of her guests.

Shannon brings up Kelly saying David looked like a pedophile. This is kind of stupid, since she was referring to his costume, she was right and it was funny. Shannon says something about Kelly calling her ugly and then says Kelly looked like an Indian. Kelly asks if this means Shannon thinks Indians (I assume she means Native American) are ugly. Sounds that way to me. It doesn’t take long for it to escalate to Shannon putting her finger in Kelly’s face and talking about how Kelly said no wonder David had an affair. Even though I don’t believe Shannon either, that was a pretty low blow.

Commercial break. I see an ad for the movie Sausage Party and wonder why this film even exists.

Shannon is like, how dare you? and Kelly says Shannon accused her of having an affair. Shannon truthfully points out that she said it after Kelly said what she did about David’s affair. Kelly says she really thought Shannon set her up, but if she says she didn’t, she’ll believe her and she’s sorry. She says apologizing is hard for her and Shannon tells her not to then. Kelly says she just wants them to get along. Shannon insists she’s not lying and Kelly says she just wants to move on. In her interview, Shannon says she’s going to approach Kelly with caution from now on.

Next time, Vicki wants Ryan to work for her, Shannon gets a text from Kelly, Meghan wants to have a girls night, and Heather goes ballistic.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Someone startles Julian awake. It’s Lucas. Julian tells him he’s not who everyone says he is. (Oh no, not the “that’s not me” excuse.) Lucas asks if he tried to kill Alexis, and Julian blames Carrrlos. That’s right, blame the dead guy. Julian claims he never would have gone through with it no matter how betrayed he felt. Lucas says that’s a laugh and Alexis wouldn’t be alive if Sonny hadn’t shown up. Lucas says Tony Jones is his father and Julian is nothing to him. I get nostalgic for the Tony days.

Alexis gets another pregnancy test because you can never have too many. Gotta catch ‘em all! Her daughters want to have a girls night in with her. She tries to beg off, but they won’t let her.

Finn is at the bar when Sonny comes in. He introduces himself and asks if he can buy Sonny a drink. Sonny astutely asks if he wants something. Finn asks why Sonny would ask that and Sonny says he thought Finn might want a favor back for the one he did Carly. I always forget that Finn’s name is actually Hamilton. It’s surprising that they haven’t used that as some kind of joke like they’ve done with Brad Cooper.

It’s nighttime and Tracy and Hayden are waiting in the park. Tracy thinks they’re waiting for Hayden’s drug dealer when Hayden’s mother comes strolling along. Hayden introduces Naomi to Tracy. Naomi asks what Hayden needs. Hayden says a mutual friend needs drugs.

Theo apparently isn’t too Greek, since he lost his accent. He calls in his cronies, grabs Sam and says if everyone will cooperate, they’ll get through this. It would be really great if we knew what it was we’re supposed to be getting through.

Alexis goes down Memory Lane about how she thought Julian loved her. She says the only thing she feels in the house now, is betrayal, and wonders how she could love a man like him.

Theo asks for everyone’s cell phones. I note how good looking he and his crew are. Nicholas asks who he is and Theo says the usual “all in good time.” It’s a standard response from Being a Villain for Dummies. He has someone take Jason upstairs and follows with Sam, telling the guards to shoot anyone who moves except Nicholas. Upstairs, Theo tells Jason he wants full cooperation or Sam gets shot. Jason asks what’s up, but Theo says he and Sam were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He leaves one of his men there to guard them.

Julian tries to smooth things over with Lucas. Lucas says he never asked Julian to be in his life and everything he’s ever done isn’t out of love, but to protect himself. He says he didn’t think Julian was a mobster, a liar and a killer, but he was wrong. He says Julian used his and Brad’s wedding as a distraction while the cops searched the house. He asks if Julian would have tried to kill him too, if he’d known the truth and tried to turn him in. He says Julian is going to rot in prison alone and he’s not going to cry about it. Olivia walks in behind him, saying she won’t either.

Alexis warns her daughters that if anything seems wrong in a relationship, don’t try to fix it because it’s going to stay wrong. She tells them to run if they get even a whiff of deception. Molly goes to the kitchen and Alexis asks Kristina about Parker. Kristina says she hasn’t talked to her, but she’s on the summer speaking circuit.

Hayden asks Naomi to put them in touch with her source. She says she can’t do that.

Finn asks Sonny if he has connections in the realm of pharmaceuticals, especially the ones not distributed in the US. Sonny says he doesn’t, but Finn says it’s been rumored he occasionally does business outside the law. Sonny says a drug conviction is a federal case, and he’d rather not risk it. Finn explains his situation and asks if Sonny can do anything to help.

Dante encourages Lulu to try and sneak out while he creates a distraction. She says not to risk it. Theo comes back down. Nicholas asks what the blip is going on.

Naomi says she doesn’t know any garden variety drug dealers. Tracy says it’s not a garden variety drug. She and Hayden explain about Finn and how Hayden’s father was involved with stealing the funds from his research organization. Naomi asks to talk to Hayden alone. Tracy steps away and Naomi asks what it’s worth to Hayden.

Laura thinks Theo is the one who sent her the picture of the Ice Princess. Nicholas says he has no idea who Theo is, but nobody believes him. Laura wonders if he’s finding a way to stay there and not be prosecuted. Theo asks if he should answer for Nicholas.

Jason tells Sam he thinks he’s been at Cassadine Island before. Sam says of course he has, but he tells her about Helena saying he’d never remember about what happened Jake there. He says he recalls the day Helena died and how easy it was to break in, like he’d done it before. He says he has no conscious memory of being there with Helena, but thinks he was. Sam wonders if Theo had been working for her, and that’s why he wanted Jason out of the way. Jason says Theo is clearly going after Nicholas.

Olivia tells Julian that he’ll never see Leo again. She says he tried to kill a pregnant Alexis and Julian says Alexis was lying about the pregnancy. Like that makes it okay to try and kill her.

Molly comes in with a glass of red wine for Alexis. Kristina goes to get mac and cheese to go with it. Really? Molly tries to ask about Julian, but Alexis doesn’t want to talk about it. Kristina comes back out with the pregnancy test and asks whose it is.

Nicholas says he has no idea what’s going on. Theo says only he can explain who he is and what he’s after.

Kristina asks if the test is Molly’s, since she and TJ recently decided to move in together, but Molly says no. Molly suggests it’s Kristina’s, but Kristina says she was just with Aaron five minutes ago, so it’s not hers. Alexis admits it belongs to her.

Olivia says Julian would sacrifice anything or anyone to save himself. She says Leo isn’t even going to know Julian’s name.

Hayden is appalled that Naomi wants money to save a man’s life. Naomi thinks there’s more to it than that and says Hayden must feel guilty about her father. Hayden says she’s spent her whole life only caring about herself until she met Finn. Naomi agrees to help.

Finn explains about his disease to Sonny and how the money to find a cure was invested with Hayden’s father and they went bankrupt after he embezzled all of it. He says he knows enough about the disease to manage it now. He talks to Sonny about the FDA, and explains the drug has a narrow scope and is addictive.

Tracy is shocked that Hayden’s drug dealer is her mother. Naomi says her dealer seems confident that he can get what Finn needs, but tells them that her contact said the drug isn’t a known treatment for anything and is highly addictive. She asks if they’re sure Finn is sick, and thinks he must be a junkie just because the drug has a street name.

Finn tells Sonny he’s addicted to being alive. He says he’s functional on it and when he’s functional, he can do his research. When he finds a cure, he’ll stop using it. He asks if Sonny can help him. Sonny says it’s possible he might know someone who knows someone.

Julian says Leo will hate Olivia for it, and what is she going to do when Leo wants to look for him? Julian brings up Sonny. Olivia says she didn’t like what Sonny chose to do for a living, but he’s a good man who would lay down his life for his family. She tells Julian that he’ll rot in prison and he’s dead to her. Lucas says to him too, and he’ll also be dead to Sam when she finds out. Olivia tells Julian no one cares if he lives or dies.

Molly asks what Alexis is going to do if she’s pregnant with Julian’s baby, and encourages her to take the test.

Sam and Jason decide Theo and Nicholas aren’t working together. Ava asks Theo if he’s on Helena’s payroll, but he says Helena means nothing to him. They see the Cassadine crest that Theo has tattooed on his arm and Nicholas says he knows who Theo is.

Alexis says she’d rather be alone to take the test as she’ll need to process things. Kristina suggests she and Molly go to the movies. Alexis says she’ll be fine, but she and Molly are going to discuss her moving in with TJ at a later time. The girls leave.

Julian says that man isn’t him. Puh-leez. Olivia says he has no character, or ability to love and sacrifice. She and Lucas leave Julian alone. Julian says he’ll find a way out of this.

Alexis looks at the test. Not sure if she’s relieved or freaked.

Sonny says he’ll help Finn because Finn helped Carly. Finn says he doesn’t have time to weigh options and Sonny says he has no choice.

Hayden talks about Finn nearly dying in jail. Naomi insists that Finn needed a fix and says he must be lying. She says that Hayden’s been had. (Say that 3 times real fast.)

Jason tells Sam they’ll wait for the guard to get tired and the guys downstairs to forget about them. Sam suggests she take the guard out. Jason says they should rest and conserve their energy, and he’ll keep watch while she sleeps. He tells her they’ve been in worse spots. She says no matter how it turns out, she’s glad they’re together.

Nicholas says Theo is his grandfather’s bastard son. Theo says he’s Valentine (pronounced val-en-teen) Cassadine, Nicholas’s bastard uncle.

Tomorrow, Nicholas threatens Theo/Valentine, Nina calls off the investigation, and Alexis tells Diane she wants to take Julian down.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Meanwhile, back at Kelly’s beach party…

The sun is starting to set and it’s getting cold, so everyone goes inside the house. Kelly’s place is bright and modern in design, not usually my taste, but I like this one. It’s got a fresh look. Vicki hesitantly gives Shannon a hug and says they have to talk. In her interview, Shannon says she didn’t want to hug and Vicki says it was like hugging a corpse. She and Shannon sit down and Vicki says she has no excuses for Brooks, but she’s sorry and wants to put it behind them. Shannon says Vicki is too astute not to have known that Brooks was lying. Vicki insists that she was lied to as well, but Shannon isn’t having it. Vicki asks what the benefit would have been in her lying. Um…more screen time? Shannon gets snippy with Vicki. I’ll never know for sure whether Vicki was in on the lie, but IMO, she was blinded by her love for Brooks and didn’t want to know. I also think she feared being alone. I don’t get what was so great about Brooks, but we’re all different, and maybe that fear outweighed the bad stuff about him. Her mother also died last season, which was a tremendous blow which I understand completely.

It’s obvious to the others what’s going on. At the bar, Kelly says she doesn’t want to get in the middle, but she feels badly for Vicki. Vicki accuses Shannon of not being able to move past it. Shannon says Vicki called her disgusting and vile, and Vicki says that’s how Shannon was being at the time. Shannon wonders if it’s an apology or an attack. She tells Vicki that while she forgives her, she doesn’t know if they can have their friendship back. With nothing left to say, Vicki thanks her and moves along.

Meghan says she has to give herself a fertility shot and in her interview, Heather says she’d rather watch Meghan shoot herself with a needle than watch the needling going on between Shannon and Vicki. Me too, but only if Meghan shoots herself in the eye.

Kelly shows the ladies her closet. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that it’s huge and amazing, like every Housewife closet. Except maybe Kim Richards. Meghan injects herself and everyone applauds. Vicki tells Kelly she’s leaving because trying to be friends with everyone again is too much. Meghan says they were never friends, which is so lovely of her. Vicki tells Kelly she can’t do the girls thing anymore. Kelly feels protective of her, knowing what it’s like to be ganged up on. Tamra asks Shannon if Vicki apologized, and Shannon says yes and no.

Meghan and Jimmy have to pick up his frozen sperm. TMI already. Jimmy is going to Florida, but Meghan’s mom is coming up for the presentation…I mean, implantation. The doctor pulls a couple of frozen tubes out of some contraption and they pack them up in a cooler. Okay, it’s really called a cryo tank, but same thing.

Heather confers with her assistant. Terry is working on Mother’s Day and she wonders if he’s ever going to say no to work and yes to family time. Heather’s builder drops by and he’s figuring May for a move date. They discuss the logistics of an onyx bar and theatre room.

Jimmy and Meghan go over the procedure for implantation. Really Meghan goes over it and Jimmy doesn’t even act interested. She wants to cry and he tells her everything will be all right and to let him know when the kid is in college. I made up that last part.

Briana is having difficulty breathing and Vicki takes her to the hospital. She’s telling Vicki she’s not going to make it and passing out. I guess calling 911 isn’t an option? Finally, Vicki pulls into a gas station and calls. Oddly enough, Tamra’s son Ryan’s ex-fiance, Sarah (did you get all that?), is at the gas station at the same time and is able to help. She’s going to watch the boys until the sitter gets there, so Vicki can go to the hospital. Tamra goes to Vicki’s and tells Sarah about getting the call from Vicki with Briana gasping for air in the background. When Tamra called Sarah, she just happened to be at the same gas station. Tamra thanks Jesus, Who I wish would get involved in some other areas of Tamra’s life.

Sarah and Tamra discuss Ryan, agreeing that Sarah should vent to someone else about him, even though she and Tamra are friends. In her interview, Tamra says she wishes Sarah and Ryan could figure it out, but sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together. Sarah says their daughter loves both of them, but the ball is in Ryan’s court. I have no clue what happened between them or what that means.

Kelly is getting ready to go to Meghan’s for some girl time. Her brother jokingly asks her which one of her friends she’s going to hook him up with, and she tells him Vicki. Meghan shows Kelly the progress on the kitchen, which is pretty much none. Kelly brings up Shannon, and Meghan suggests she stay away from the whole thing. Kelly says if no one wants her to interject, she doesn’t need to be hearing the sniping from all of them. Meghan says Shannon is very hurt and that Kelly has only known Vicki for two weeks. In her interview, Kelly says that Meghan thinks the world revolves around her and I totally agree. She adds that she’s not a child and can make her own decisions.

Vicki is juggling watching the boys and trying to get ready for work. Owen and Troy are quite a handful. Vicki grows nostalgic for the days of sticking a kid in a playpen. Tamra calls and Vicki tells her that Briana is getting a CT scan on her stomach. She gets a text from Briana saying she has a 104 temperature and they’re trying to find the source of the infection. To put the cherry on Vicki’s cake, the hot water tank is leaking. It doesn’t rain, it pours.

Shannon is going to have a 70s party and confers with the planners. We flash back on her previous party disasters. They’re going with a peace-love-far-out theme followed by disco.

Heather asks which of her kids are going to miss the house and there are no takers. She tries to get them interested in some pictures of the new place. In her interview, Heather says the job she loves most is being a mom, like every other famous person says.

Vicki calls Briana’s husband (another Ryan), who can’t get out of Oklahoma due to his military service. Briana has been discharged from the hospital and Vicki gives him an update on her condition.

Shannon meets Tamra for lunch. Tamra tells her about what happened with Briana. Tamra had asked Vicki if not having Ryan around is affecting Briana’s emotional state, and Vicki said no doubt. Shannon wonders why Briana moved away and suggests Vicki is being manipulative by buying Briana a house and luring her there. She and Tamra discuss the strings that must be attached, and I wish Jesus would come down on a cloud and thump the both of them on the head, since they’re just making it up as they go along, never once thinking Vicki might be concerned about Briana’s health or that Briana and Ryan might have wanted to move.

Briana’s lymph nodes were so enlarged, they were affecting her breathing process. She says they’re still trying to find where this is coming from, but for now, she’s okay. Vicki feels like a failure because Briana’s health hasn’t improved and starts questioning her decision to bring Briana back to the OC.

Tamra and Shannon go down Memory Lane about another time they visited the same restaurant with the girls. Shannon remembers that Vicki hadn’t gone to Meghan’s party (to which Shannon hadn’t been invited), so she could be there with her. She struggles with whether or not she should invite Vicki to her 70s party. She reads a text to Tamra that she’s written to Vicki. She begins by pointing out that she’s not interested in a friendship anymore. Tamra thinks she’s being passive aggressive, going in with a jab, turning the knife and pulling it out slowly. She tells Shannon if she’s going to forgive, she doesn’t have to be Vicki’s best friend, but needs to soften it up a little. Shannon’s second text is marginally better, but you can tell that she’s in a fighting mood.

Next time, Jimmy seems uninterested in the baby-making process, the 70s party happens, and Kelly says no wonder David cheated on Shannon. Whoa.