What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Victor comes out of an exam room, and sees Elizabeth. He says, hello, and she looks at him like he has two heads.

Felicia sees Doc and Laura at the MetroCourt restaurant, and asks if they’re there for a late lunch or early dinner. Laura says, it just the first moment they’ve gotten to slow down, and Doc says he had to deal with his brother’s remains today.

Mac asks if Cody is up for another round, and Cody says, no reason not to. Cody gets up, and the paternity test falls to the floor. Mac picks it up, telling Cody he dropped something, and asks, what’s this? as we all do when something’s not any of our business.

On the phone, Drew thanks Michael, and says he believes it’s for the best. The doorbell rings, and Drew says he’ll check in later. He opens the door to Dante and Scout. He picks Scout up, and says he missed her so much. He tells her that Wiley and Olivia are upstairs, and word is, they have a new game for her to play. She asks if Carly is upstairs, and Drew asks why she’d say that. She says, Carly is always with him now. Told you.

Ava says, now Nina has important information about Carly, like Carly had important information about her. The question is, what’s she going to do with it? Nina says, they don’t really know anything for sure; they’re speculating. Ava says, there’s no other explanation. Carly and Drew committed insider trading. Nina says, and if anyone powerful found out, they might end up in prison.

Carly says she’s not trying to break Josslyn’s spirit. She knows Josslyn is hopeful Dex is going to leave Sonny’s world, and she wants Josslyn to be realistic. Josslyn says she appreciates Carly being direct with her, but what else is Dex supposed to do? If he wants out, he has he at least try. She thinks Dex is willing to do what it takes.

Sonny and Dex walk into the warehouse, and Dex says, it’s isolated, which is good; less chance someone will notice the shipment when it arrives. But Sonny will need to put cameras up. Sonny says he’s got someone on that, when a sniper trains a gun on Dex. Dex asks, how many points of entry? when he hears the gun cock. He pushes Sonny down, and tells him to stay down; there’s a sniper. Sonny pops up and shoots, ducking back down again, and Dex asks what he’s doing. He says, the guy will blow Sonny’s head off if he gets a clear shot, but Sonny shoots at the sniper again.

Josslyn says, Dex needs to be strategic about it, and Carly asks if she even wants to know, when Bobbie walks in with Donna. And hallelujah – the moss bowl 🎍is back! Donna hugs Carly, and Carly says she thought Donna was going to the zoo with grandma. Bobbie says, that was the plan, but Donna said her ears hurt. Carly says she still has a refill for Donna’s drops. She’ll go to GH, pick up the prescription, and Donna will feel better. If only she could fix Josslyn’s problems that easily.

Drew tells Scout that Carly isn’t always around, and Dante says, Carly has been helping to take care of Wiley’s mom, since she hasn’t been feeling well. He suggests she go upstairs and play; he wants to go to the stables and say hi to Cody. Scout asks him, say hi to the horses too, especially Thor, and he says, deal. They high-five, and she runs upstairs. Drew thanks Dante for bringing her, and Dante says, of course (🍷). Drew says, they grow up so fast, and Dante says, Danny and Rocco are teenagers; it’s crazy. Drew asks if he and Sam are thinking about having another one, but Dante says he thinks that chapter’s closed. He’s looking forward to the next chapter, whatever that is. Drew says he found out the hard way how short life is. He can’t wait to find out what the next chapter is himself.

Nina admits, bringing Carly down is so tempting, and Ava says, she and Carly have actually been on better terms lately, so personally, it woudn’t please her as much to see Carly in an orange jumpsuit as it would have a few years ago. Nina says, they don’t know if Carly and Drew would definitely go to prison. Maybe they’ll just pay a fine. Are you kidding? Nina runs a magazine, and never heard of Martha Stewart? Ava says she’s pretty sure people go to prison for insider trading, and Drew and Carly colluded to raise Aurora’s value. Nina says, they don’t know… and Ava says, theoretically colluded. Admit it. There has to be a part of Nina that’s glad to have Carly’s life in her hands again. Just like she did when she was in Nixon Falls.

Victor says, how lucky for him to bump into Elizabeth. They simply must continue their conversation from the other day. She says, sorry, she’s on duty, and he says, they previously discussed her involvement with his nephew’s ridiculous plot to keep Esme prisoner. He got the distinct impression there was more she wasn’t telling him. Elizabeth says she’s sure by now he knows it’s over. The police must have questioned him. He has no more leverage over her. He says, the police? and she says, he doesn’t know, does he? She made a deal with the PCPD in exchange for immunity. She told them everything, including his role in the cover-up. Not that he’s asking, but her advice to him is, get a good lawyer.

Felicia is sure dealing with Ryan’s remains wasn’t easy for Doc, and he says he appreciates that. He doesn’t think anyone should have to pretend they’re upset Ryan’s gone, especially her, and she says she can still acknowledge it’s hard for him. Ryan was his twin brother. Laura says, given the situation, they thought the best thing they could do was give Doc a private moment to spread Ryan’s ashes. Doc’s phone rings, and he says, a patient; he has to take this. He leaves, and Felicia asks how he’s really holding up. Laura says, he brought up his parents’ divorce for the first time in years. Doc stayed with his father when they split, and Ryan went with their mother. Felicia says, the mom who wound up molesting him, and Laura says, Doc told her that he could remember the day he said goodbye to his brother like it was yesterday; when he was young and he seemed so innocent. Even though he knows better, she thinks Doc still struggles with this notion that he could have done more. She knows he’s upset about Lucy. Felicia asks if Laura’s told him that she’s still alive, but Laura says, no. She feels like she needs to protect him right now. She feels like that situation could go south at any moment, but the longer it goes on, the harder it’s going to be. Felicia says she feels the same way about Mac. He knows there’s more going on with Anna. Maybe it’s time they bring their husbands in on what they’ve been up to.

Mac partially opens the paper, sees it’s from the lab, and says he guesses it’s personal. Cody grabs it back, and says, it’s nothing; just forget about it. He puts it back in his pocket, and Mac asks if everything is okay with him. Cody says, he was a little short of money this month, so he donated some plasma for cash. It’s just a little embarrassing, that’s all. Mac says, there’s nothing embarrassing about having money trouble. Been there and done that himself. If Cody needs help getting work, he and Felicia don’t have the bar anymore, but he knows a lot of people and can help. Cody says he’s the last person Mac should be helping.

Dex shoots back, and the sniper shoots again. Dex says, they’ve got to move. The longer they stay here, the worse their chances. From outside the door, Tony says, boss! and Sonny says, Tony? Tony asks what they’re looking at, and Dex says, a sniper with a rifle. Sonny calls out that his guys are here, and there’s more on the way. He wants to live, put his rifle down, and give himself up.

Mac says, Cody is the last person he should help? What does that mean? Cody says, they probably shouldn’t have that second round of beers, picking up the bottles. He still has work to do. Mac says, they were just having a nice talk. Why does he get the sense Cody is blowing him off? Dante comes in, and says, he didn’t mean to interrupt. Cody says, it’s fine, and tells Mac, sorry. He totally forgot he had plans with Dante. Mac says, no problem. He’s supposed to meet with his wife anyway. Cody says, about that friend of Mac’s. He knows things might be awkward and uncomfortable, but he thinks they should talk it out. If they don’t, things are just going to get more difficult to fix. In his experience, a really good friend who’s done right by you is hard to come by in this world. Mac says, good to know, and leaves. Dante asks, what was that all about?

Laura tells Felicia that she thinks it’s time they check in with Robert and Anna. She can’t help this feeling that things are about to blow up. Her phone rings, and she steps away to take the call. In a private area, she says, hello, Drew, and he says, sorry to bother her, but can they meet today? He has a proposal he wants to run by her.

Doc comes back to the table, and asks if he lost his wife. Felicia says, she had to take a call, and Doc sits down. She says she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of this, but she’s been trying to reach out to him for the last couple of days, and he hasn’t responded. He says he should have called back, and she asks why he hasn’t. He says he didn’t know what to say. Mac did what he had to do. His brother was a killer, and had to be stopped. His head knows that, but his heart is grieving and he can’t explain that. He looks at the people his brother terrorized, and many of those people are people he loves. He doesn’t want to mourn Ryan. Felicia takes his hand.

Victor says he wants to know exactly what Elizabeth told the police about him, and she says she told him that he wasn’t part of the kidnapping, but once he found out, he had no qualms about covering up his nephew’s tracks. She can imagine he did play a pivotal role in Nikolas leaving town. He says he had absolutely no part in this ill-conceived mess that she and Nikolas got themselves into, and she says, what’s that saying? It’s not about the crime; it’s about the cover-up? And he’s all over that. All she did was tell the truth, something his family is unfamiliar with, so consider this conversation over. He grabs her arm and says, they’re finished when he says they’re finished, but Carly stomps over and tells him, lay the hell off, Cassadine.

Sonny loads his gun, and tells Dex, he’s almost out. Dex says, Tony’s at the door. He and Tony can keep the shooter busy, and it’s Sonny’s best chance to get out. Sonny says, Dex knows what he’s doing, right? and Dex says, this is what he was trained to do. On three. One… two… three. He and Tony start to shoot, and Sonny ducks out the door. There’s gunfire back and forth, and Dex gets hit.

Bobbie says, Donna is down for her nap. Now she can get some work done. She salutes the moss bowl 🎍 as she goes past, and Josslyn says she thought this was Bobbie’s day off. Bobbie says, it is, but Maxie asked her to help plan the Nurses Ball, and Josslyn says, that’s awesome. She didn’t know they were doing it this year. Bobbie says, this year, not only is the Ball going to help fund research for HIV/AIDS, it’s also going to honor the hospital’s 60^th anniversary, and the GH staff they’ve lost. Josslyn says, it’s a beautiful way to keep their memories alive, and Bobbie says, providing she can come up with enough musical acts. She’s going to reach out to the GH nurses, like Epiphany, Felix, Amy, and Deanna, but she’s also going to ask some non-GH staff, like Ned, Chase… and Cameron. Josslyn says she’s not so sure Cam would be up for performing this year. He’s been through a lot, and she hasn’t helped.

Carly asks if no one ever taught Victor not to put his hands on a woman, and Victor says, it’s lovely to see her again, calling her Mrs. Corinthos. She says, it’s Carly Spencer; a name she knows he’s familiar with. He says he’s just waiting for his test results, and she says, then he can wait somewhere else. He says, until next time, and tells Elizabeth that he hopes the situation with Esme doesn’t come back to haunt her. He leaves, and Elizabeth thanks Carly, but says she had it under control. Carly says, no offense, but it didn’t look like it, and asks what Victor was talking about; what situation with Esme?

Victor makes a call, saying, he may be in a spot of legal bother. Apparently, Elizabeth Baldwin made a statement to the PCPD and brought up his name. He needs them to find out exactly what she said.

Elizabeth says, it will all be coming out, so she may as well tell Carly. When Esme showed up at Windymere, she was pregnant with Nikolas’s child. Carly says, wow. When you think a man can’t sink any lower, he sleeps with his son’s girlfriend. Elizabeth says, at the time, everybody thought Esme was The Hook killer, even the police, and Carly asks why they didn’t go straight to the police with it. Elizabeth says, because Nikolas didn’t want his baby being born in prison, and they thought she was dangerous, so he came up with an alternate plan. He kept Esme locked up in one of the Windymere towers, and she provided Esme with medical care. She already told Cameron everything – not Jake or Aiden yet – but because she made a deal with the DA’s office, this is all going to be public very soon. She doesn’t know what came over her. She can only imagine what Carly must be thinking about her right now. Carly says she’s thinking she would have done the same thing.

Nina says, there’s no part of her that enjoys being put in this position again. Don’t get her wrong; she’s happy things worked out with Sonny. But her desire to get revenge against Carly has cost her so much. Although she supposes it would serve Carly right to serve a little time in prison, given Carly kept her from her daughter for the better part of a year. Ava says she’s not going to kill anybody or call anybody, but Nina is. She hands Nina her phone, and says, it’s the number for the SEC; she’s going to call. Isn’t this what she wants? What is she waiting for?

Felicia says she knows Doc isn’t mourning the man who stalked her or terrorized Ava. He’s mourning the little boy he still remembers, before bad things happened to Ryan. Can she tell him a secret? He says, always, and she says, when she heard Ryan was taken to the morgue, she snuck down to see him. After all the pain he put her through, she had to see his dead body for herself. Doc says he understands, and she says she told herself, if she could see he was really gone, and he was no longer a threat to her, maybe she might be able to forgive him, but she’s ashamed to say she couldn’t. She cries, and Doc tells her, don’t ever feel that she has to forgive him. Don’t ever be ashamed for how you really feel. Felicia is immediately together, and says, exactly. Doesn’t the doctor think it’s time he take his own advice? Mac approaches the table, and says, sorry he’s late; the day got away from him.

Dante says, it seems like Cody was trying to get rid of Mac. Why? Cody says he found out what happened with Mac and Ryan, so he sent Mac a couple of texts to make sure he’s okay. Then out of nowhere, Mac shows up where he works. Mac’s clearly trying to be best buds, but he was like, hey man, I got enough friends, thanks. Dante laughs, and says, Cody’s got so many friends, he can count them on one hand, and still have a finger left over. Cody says he hopes Dante knows what finger he’s saving for him, and Dante says he does, and that’s not very nice. Cody took the time to text Mac, and Mac came over to see him. He’s not Cody’s father, but he can still be a friend. He’s known Mac a long time; he’s a stand-up guy. Cody says he knows. Dante’s told him. Everyone’s told him. Maxie’s told him, Sam has told him, which is exactly why he doesn’t deserve to have Mac in his life. Not after what he’s done to Mac.

Nina asks what Ava’s doing. She’s trying to take the high road here. Drew comes over, and says, sorry to interrupt, but does Nina have a second? Nina says, sure, and he says he just wanted to touch base now that her Aunt Liesl is going to be Willow’s bone marrow donor. Nina says, they’re very grateful. She’s doing more tests actually. I’m wondering when Drew became Michael’s spokesperson. Drew says, it’s amazing that Obrecht is stepping up, and Nina says, Obrecht’s always been her rock. It was very difficult to find out Willow was her daughter, then find out she’s fighting leukemia. Drew says, Nina doesn’t have to explain to him. He lost a child to cancer, and although their situations are very different, he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemies. Nina thanks him, and he asks if he can offer her some hard-won advice. She says, what’s that? and he says, while she’s trying to take care of Willow from a distance, don’t forget to take care of herself. He leaves, and Nina and Ava look at each other.

Elizabeth says, there’s no way Carly can understand why she helped Nikolas the way she did, and Carly says, help Nikolas? No, but she can certainly understand Elizabeth’s instincts. They’ve had their issues over the years, but she could never fault Elizabeth the loyalty she has to her children and family. Carly would move heaven and earth to protect hers; they have that in common. Elizabeth agrees, and Carly says, if Jason asked her to help him the way Nikolas asked Elizabeth, she wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. Although Jason never would have been duped by Esme. Elizabeth says, much less slept with her, and Carly says, and more important, he would never have vanished when the heat was on and left her holding the bag. He would never have done that to Elizabeth either. She knows Nikolas is a good friend of Elizabeth’s, and she’s really sorry Nikolas betrayed her like this. She’s not going to turn this into a therapy session, but this is one of the things that frustrates her about Elizabeth. They’re so much alike, but Elizabeth never learns the tough lesson Carly learned a long time ago – be careful who you give your loyalty to. They may not return it in kind.

Dex checks the wound in his upper arm, and puts a new clip in his gun. The sniper continues to fire, and Dex fires back, Sonny now firing from the doorway. Sonny hits the sniper, who falls to the floor. Tony goes to check on him, and Sonny asks if Dex is all right. Dex says he’s glad Sonny came back.

Josslyn says she and Cam broke up, but she has the feeling Bobbie already knew that, and Bobbie says, a grandmother has a way of figuring these things out, like Carly wouldn’t have told her. But she’s noticed that Josslyn’s been acting a lot lighter lately, so does that mean someone else is making her happy? Josslyn says, she and Cam had been growing apart for almost a year, and Bobbie says, because of the revenge porn? Josslyn says, that certainly didn’t help. Maybe there’s a world where they would have stayed together out of sheer momentum, but a lot happened this year, and they just feel like two different people. They both lost a lot. Bobbie says, the whole town lost a lot this year, and that’s why it’s so important they all come together and celebrate. Not only the amazing achievement of General Hospital being around for 60 years, but also the fact it’s still thriving. And they’re going to honor those they lost; Lucy, Valentin, and Britt. I guess Anna is chopped liver? Josslyn says, and Uncle Luke, and takes Bobbie’s hand.

Victor paces an exam room, and looks at his watch. The doctor some in, and apologizes for keeping him waiting. The results are in. They found something concerning in his bloodwork.

Elizabeth tells Carly that she doesn’t want to be hardened by this, and certainly doesn’t want Nikolas’s actions to change who she is. But this experience has definitely changed her perspective. She can almost see, in a warped way, how her parents thought they were protecting her. Ultimately, her dad’s actions were about protecting himself from embarrassment, but she could see how they were tempted to go down that path. Carly says, Elizabeth would never do that to her kids, and Elizabeth says, never, but the anger she had toward her parents? She’s not there anymore. She wants to just hold on to the good memories, before it all went to hell. Carly says she was hoping Elizabeth would come to that decision at some point, and takes a photo out of her wallet. It’s the photo of Elizabeth’s parents that she swiped.

Drew meets Laura in a private area at the MetroCourt, and she asks what the mysterious proposal is. He says he’ll keep it simple. In the wake of Valentin’s death, Charlotte has been left with a large portion of ELQ voting stock. Obviously, Charlotte isn’t of voting age, so this falls on Laura’s shoulders, at least for a few years. She says she still hasn’t heard a proposal, and he says, so he and Ned have agreed on a plan to buy back Charlotte’s stock at a very good price, provided Laura is on board.

Nina says she’s not going to tattle on Carly today, and Ava says she didn’t think Nina would, especially after that conversation. Nina says, her issues are with Carly, not with Drew. He’s a stand-up guy (maybe he should hang out with Mac), and if she says anything, he’s going to go to prison too. No matter what she thinks or feels about Carly, Carly has been the main source of support for Willow and Michael during this really difficult time, and there’s nothing worth taking that away from Willow.

Felicia says she thinks Mac and Doc should spend some time alone, and leaves the table. Doc says, have a seat, and Mac sits, saying, he’s been avoiding Doc for the last few days. Doc says he thinks they’ve both been doing their share of avoiding. That’s not really like them, is it? Mac says, no. He’s taken a life in the line of duty before, but to see Doc’s face, to see his grief… there has to be a part of him that blames Mac for killing Ryan. Doc says, there isn’t. He’s been avoiding Mac and Felicia because he sees the relief on their faces. He feels it too. Relief that they’re safe, that the burden of his brother has finally been lifted from his life, but he still feels guilty. Mac says, Doc thinks they’ve been avoiding each other to ignore the voices in their head, and Doc says, if he were diagnosing, he’d say it was a classic case of avoidance. Be that as it may, Ryan was his brother at birth, but his brother in life, the one he can count on, his best friend, that’s Mac. Mac goes over to Doc, and hugs him. Felicia stands at the bar and smiles.

Dante says, Cody doesn’t deserve Mac? He has the feeling this has nothing to do with Cody’s past. If Cody doesn’t tell him something, he can’t help. Cody asks if Dante can keep a secret, and Dante says, to the grave. Cody hesitates, and Dante asks, how bad is this one?

Felicia says, everything worked out okay? and Mac tells her, he’d say so. In the 30 years they’ve been friends, this is the most they’ve ever talked about their feelings. He can’t take the credit. Cody was the one who suggested they talk it out. He thinks they had Cody all wrong when he first came to Port Charles.

Cody says, to the grave, right? and Dante nods. Cody gives him the paternity test, and Dante reads it. He says, so Mac is really Cody’s father.

Josslyn says, it’s been almost a year since Uncle Luke passed. Bobbie doesn’t talk about him much. Bobbie says she just can’t accept it. She keeps thinking he’s going to show up at her house one day (where does Bobbie live anyway? have we ever seen her place?), and say, hey, Barbara Jean, have I got one helluva story for you. They laugh, and Bobbie says she also knows that if Luke were still around, he would have reached out by now. There’s no way he would have let her, or Tracy, or his kids, grieve this long. Josslyn says she knows Bobbie misses him. Does she feel unsettled? Bobbie says, Josslyn’s Uncle Luke was larger than life, and there’s no way she’ll ever believe he died in some random accident. Someone out there is to blame.

Victor says, now the doctor’s got his attention. What exactly is wrong with his bloodwork? The doctor says, what he found was out of his purview, which is why he brought Dr. Finn on board for a consult. Victor asks what that means, and the doctor says, the lab results show a pathogen in Victor’s bloodstream.

Laura says, Drew’s given her a lot to think about, and he says, what does she say? Will she sell him the shares of ELQ? She says she’s sorry. She can’t do that. He looked so confident, I laugh. Why on earth would he think she’d just hand them over?

Ava says she’s impressed; this is like growth for Nina. Nina says, maybe not. Selfishly, she doesn’t want to do anything to hurt Willow. Because of her health issues, but also because Nina is hoping down the line they can have a real mother/daughter relationship. Ava says she totally gets that, but still, it must be nice to know Nina has this bombshell in her back pocket, just in case.

Elizabeth asks where Carly got the photo, and Carly asks if Elizabeth remembers her coming by the house after Elizabeth got back from Monterey. Elizabeth was in a really bad place, and determined to burn every picture of her parents. She thought one day Elizabeth would regret that decision. Elizabeth says, that is such a violation. She can’t believe Carly did that… Thank you. Carly knows she’s said this to Elizabeth before, but if she ever finds herself in this spot again, and needs to talk to someone, call her. She knows they don’t like each other all the time, but they respect each other enough to get the job done. Carly walks off, and Elizabeth looks at the photo.

Sonny asks if the sniper is dead, but Tony says, just incapacitated. Sonny asks about Dex’s wound, and Dex says, just a crease. Nothing to worry about. Does Sonny think he works for Pikeman? Sonny says he doesn’t think they’d want to risk jeopardizing the deal. Too much at stake. He’s going to find out who this guy is working for.

Tomorrow, Maxie says, the Nurses Ball is not happening; Dante asks why Cody would cheat himself; Laura says, whatever happens isn’t up to her; and Nina asks what Carly is keeping from her this time.

Below Deck

Captain Lee calls Ross and Fraser to the bridge, and says he thought the guests were well-behaved at dinner. Fraser tells the captain that the guests want to turn the boat into Club St. David. They’re bringing in dancers and a DJ. In the captain’s interview, he says, pick a party, they’ve had it on the boat, but it can rock on without his ass. Dinner is Japanese, and in Rachel’s interview, she says, Japanese food is fantastic, but it takes time to do the details. She’s got to do everything she can to make it perfect. She’s got to kill this. Hayley asks if Tyler is going to call his mum [and come out to her], and Tyler says, what scares him is, he doesn’t know how they’re going to react. Hayley says, they might get upset, but it will pass, and they’ll have to accept it. Isn’t she the optimist? I guess she’s never heard of anyone becoming estranged from their family after they’ve come out. In Ross’s interview, he says, he and Katie have had their ups and downs, and we flash back to some of those. In Katie’s interview, she says, it’s a bummer that it’s the end of the season. She and Ross are doing better, and she thinks it could be something more. In his interview, Ross says he doesn’t see a long term future for them. Guest Angel falls asleep on the floating trampoline, and Captain Lee asks how much line the trampoline has. He thinks it might be fun to let him go. Angel’s so-called friends agree, and the deckhands let the line out. Captain Lee says, this is classic. Now they’re going to douche him. In Tony’s interview, he says, the guests are fun to have around. He’d do this for free. He jet skis around Angel, and the captain says, Angel still had his drink in his hand. Angel finally realizes waves of water are crashing over him from the jet ski, and tries to board it behind Tony, but falls in the water. Primary Jake says, that made the trip. He’s ready to go home. Rachel says, tonight is going to be insane, and Fraser asks the stews to help set up the club. In Rachel’s interview, she says, while working with Captain Sandy, she learned how she can be quicker. Sometimes it’s not about quantity, but quality. We flash back to Rachel and Captain Sandy discussing timing, and Rachel says, tonight, she’s making one course after another, but cutting the courses back. The guests get ready for dinner, and laugh about Angel. C Canapés come out almost as soon as the guests sit down, and food just keeps coming. The stews go disco ball happy, and Fraser says, Angel lost his voice. This is the quietest moment they’ve had. In Fraser’s interview, he says, without Angel, it changes his opinion of the guests. They were overshadowed by a hideously demanding a-hole, who’s now lost his voice. Ross picks up the dancers and the DJ. Leigh-Ann grills Hayley about Camille, asking if she and Ben slept with each other. Hayley says she wasn’t there, and didn’t see it, but Tony was in the bottom bunk. It’s not like Ben would be cheating though. He’s allowed to have some fun. Shame on her for encouraging this.

Rachel brings out Kobe beef sashimi with a quail egg she cooks at the table. The guests applaud, and Jake says, it’s the best dish he’s ever had. The DJ sets up, and Jake says, the meal was an absolute pleasure. In Fraser’s interview, he says, great food gave the guests high spirits. Angel is a lovely man… joking. The guests go to the makeshift club and dance, while Leigh-Ann tends bar. The DJ says, this is the kind of vibe you do in St. Lucia. Rachel says she’s five Red Bulls deep, and never sleeping again. The DJ leaves around 1:30, and Ben calls Camille. He tells her that he thinks he’s ready to chill in the DR, and she says, it’s the last push. In Ben’s interview, he says he didn’t tell Camille about Leigh-Ann. Nothing happened… yet, but he does feel guilty. Leigh-Ann questions Ben about Camille, and he says, she was a deck stew who was let go; it was tough. They’re not dating, but they’re seeing each other after the season to figure out where they stand. Leigh-Ann says, the last time he’d messaged, he’d asked if she was seeing someone, and she was; now it was vice versa. In Leigh-Ann’s interview, she says she and Ben chatted for a year, as well as sending voice notes. It wasn’t nice to hear, but he did say they weren’t together, so she’s going for it. Because she’s an awful person. Not as awful as Jax, but still awful.

Captain Lee tells Ross that there’s a lot more swell, so docking should be fun. Rachel thinks her field of f***s has been plowed, and she has none left to give. On deck, Katie tells the deckhands that Ross tried out for a porn video, and in Ross’s interview, he says he went to a bar owned by a porn actor who said he should try out. A producer asks, what role? and he says, just a penis. Wow. Talk about spot-on casting. The captain gazes out, and envies another boat’s tender, grumbling that they have a POS. They head into Rodney Bay with the wind pushing them. Katie says, the currents are gnarly, and in Captain Lee’s interview, he says, any place the wind can get in, it will. It’s like a game. There’s a bullseye on the side of the boat, and that’s where the wind is headed. They dock, and the guests pack. There are goodbyes and hugs, and Jake says, everything was fantastic, and the food was above and beyond. The beach and boat parties were great. He gives the captain two envelopes, and in Hayley’s interview, she says, one could contain Monopoly money. The crew meets in the Sky Lounge for the tip meeting, and Captain Lee slams the now one envelope down, calling it a fat little f***er. He tells them, job well done. He can’t thank them enough for such a great first charter back. He goes over some docking things with the deckhands, and says, they’re picking up guests tomorrow at 1:30, so it gives them time to unwind. Oh. The money. He says, it was more than he thought – drumroll – $40K or $3,076 each. In her interview, Hayley says, it was payoff for dealing with Angel, and we flash back to what an a-hole he was. She says, it probably happens every time. Sorry about him. She mimics passing out money. The captain tells them to get their asses back to work.

Everyone is in a good mood because of the massive tip, and Fraser says he fancies Jake more now. The captain radios Fraser, Ross, and Rachel for the preference sheet meeting in the Sky Lounge. He says, it’s the last charter, is just one day, and they have a late pick-up, so no lunch. Primaries Keith and his wife Jolynn are bodybuilders, and one of their guests is Dexter the Blade Jackson, who was Mr. Olympia 2008, and his wife. They want a Buns & Guns contest, with the crew as contestants and the guests as judges. In his interview, Fraser says, they look intimidating. In Ross’s interview, he says, the contest sounds like they’ll have to be pretty naked and flexing like an idiot. He’ll try to evade it as long as he can. Captain Lee says, it’s the last one, and they need to end strong. Leigh-Ann wants to see who she’s competing with, and looks at pictures of Camille. In her interview, she says, Camille is beautiful and photogenic. It sucks, but she doesn’t look like Ben’s type. She’s too much of a poppie, a dumb American blonde. It doesn’t make her feel good, but maybe she has a chance. She asks if Camille was good at her job, and Tyler says, no; that’s why he’s here.

The crew goes ashore, and in his interview, Ross says, it’s not much downtime, and probably not the best idea to rage into the night, but what’s a couple days with a hangover? They head for Jacques Waterfront Dining, and toast to one helluva f***ing crew. Ben says, they’re breaking records. Hayley and Fraser step away for a smoke, and Hayley says Fraser made everyone proud. He says, it’s a learning curve, and she says, he taught her so much with grace and patience. In Fraser’s interview, he says, Hayley’s perception makes him confident. She’s a slice of everything okay. He hugs her. Leigh-Ann talks about how her last relationship broke her heart. He ran hot and cold, and she found out he was talking to ten other chicks. In her interview, she says she was cheated on in every relationship, which makes her even more awful, since she knows how it feels. She tells Ben that she feels like she’s moving on to another chapter. They crew goes to  club Discotheque, and as Ben dances with Leigh, he takes his shirt off. He gives her a lap dance, and in his interview, he says he loves playing fire. It can’t hurt, can it?

Ross drags over some stranger named Adelina, and insists she join the group with her friends, Anna, Lisa, and Sam. In Katie’s interview, she says, WTF? She thought they were moving forward, but she guesses they’re going backward. It’s flat out disrespectful at this point. The crew heads back to the boat, and Katie tells Ross to behave, but he says he thinks they’re done. The others seem like they’re having more fun. Ross is a clear argument for not screwing the crew. Katie tells him to chill out. When they get back to the boat, she tells Ross that if he wants to play, fine. Wander, but leave her out. Fraser asks Ben about the comparison between Leigh-Ann online and in person, but Ben says he wants to see what happens with Camille. Fraser says, it’s going to be over before Ben knows it, but in Ben’s interview, he says he thinks Fraser has a better connection with Leigh-Ann than he did with Camille. It’s so hard. it’s a massive temptation, and he feels himself weakening. He tells Fraser, it’s so tricky, and Fraser says, do what’s best for himself. Katie tells Ross that she’s not trying to fight, but he has to realize that he’s a sh*tty person when he’s drinking. Ross insists he’s been nothing but nice, and wonders why she’s mad. He asks if he can kiss her, but she says, no. She’s ending it now. She walks away, and in Ross’s interview, he says, more drama. No matter what, he’s in the doghouse, and he’s over it. He tells her that he doesn’t think they were meant to be together. They’ve tried four times, and he doesn’t want her unhappy. He likes her, but even when he behaves, she pushes him away. She tells him not to let exterior people f*** with him; that’s who she is. In the crew mess, Hayley and Tyler shove cake in their faces, then throw the rest around.  

Fraser says, never again, and Hayley laughs so hard, she pees herself. There’s cake absolutely everywhere, even in fruit bowl, and Tyler says, Hayley is like Ariel on crack. She says, all she wanted was goodnight Doritos. Out on deck, Leigh-Ann asks if Ben is having a good time. She doesn’t want to mess up what he has, and he says he wasn’t expecting her; she’s awesome. In his interview, he says he can feel himself giving in more. He might be in a bit of trouble. They hug, and go to their separate cabins. Hayley wonders why she got left with the mess, and yells for Tyler.

In the morning, everyone is hung over. Ross asks if Katie wants to talk; they need to sort themselves out. Katie says she was in her head, and he says, she came at him (a gross exaggeration). She gets a weird wall up. In Ross’s interview, he says he’s definitely got conflicted feelings. He loves flirting, and can’t decide. He just wants to have fun. Katie says, they both made mistakes, and suggests they just have fun. Ross says, they missed their chance to have sex in the guest cabin. They hug it out. Fraser says he’s not feeling good to put it lightly. He has no recollection of last night, but Tony says, Fraser just disappeared, and he says he’s proud of himself. Provisions come in, and Hayley says she’s too hungover for this sh*t. Everything is incredibly hard today. Captain Lee calls everyone to the aft deck for guest arrival, and Tyler desperately looks for his trousers. The crew lines up, and when they see the guests coming, and in Fraser’s interview, he says he’s not seeing many smiles. Not one hint of emotion. There’s a slow stampede of protein and muscle incoming, and the guests look like they’re going to kill them.

Next time, the crew’s sorry attempt at body building; Rachel’s sh*t-o-meter needle is in the red; Tyler calls his mum; the last crew dinner; and Leigh-Ann and Ben make out, maybe more. How disappointing. But then again, maybe the boat turns some people awful.

🏖 Since I’m desperate to get back that hour I lost over the weekend, I’ll talk trash about Summer House tomorrow. Believe me, it was nothing to write home about. Unless your Carl’s mom.

🏆 Bottom Line…

More on the Academy Awards tomorrow, but here’s the winner’s list. Looks like Everything Everywhere was the big kahuna.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/12/entertainment/oscar-winners-2023/index.html

🌉 In All the Old Familiar Places…

Stop by tomorrow for soap, and everyone awful all at once in New Jersey and the Hamptons. Until then, stay safe, stay appreciating other cultures, and stay being careful who you give your loyalty to. They may not return it in kind.