What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn says Elizabeth is still cold, and she tells him to share his blankie with her. He does, and puts his arm around her. He says, better? and she says, much better. He says, roughing it has improved since he last went camping, and she says she’s never been so happy to get off the grid. They almost kiss, when they hear a crashing in the trees. Finn says, what the hell? and they run to investigate.

Brando is working underneath a car in the garage, when someone hands him a tool. He slides out, and sees it’s Sasha. He says, they have to stop meeting like this. She says she was thinking, they should always meet like this. The smell of motor oil, the cinderblock echo; she feels like she’s in an old Springsteen video. He says, don’t get mad at him, but did they have plans for tonight? She says, they did not. She was hoping to surprise him, and thought they could make plans together. He asks what she had in mind, and she says she’s open to suggestions. After all, things have changed a little since her last garage seduction. He gets closer to her, and says, not that much.

Jax comes home, and Josslyn says, perfect timing. The first course is ready. She brings a dish to the coffee table, and he says, wow; the first course. What inspired all this? She says he has a kitchen and a washing machine. Now that she’s living in a dorm, she understands what luxuries those are. He says she’s welcome to them anytime, but he’s a little confused. When most kids come home from college, they expect a homecooked meal. They’re not the ones doing the cooking. She says she’s not your ordinary college girl, and – she picks up the dish – this is not your ordinary hors d’oeuvres. She can’t wait for him to try the sauce.

Nina and Sonny go back into the Tan-O, and Nina says, the sauce is so good, his shirt wanted a taste. He says, that’s not important, because she hasn’t had dessert. She says, dessert isn’t important. If they don’t get that stain, it’s going to set in, so come on. Hand it over. He starts to unbutton his shirt.

Cyrus is brought to the visiting area. He’s uncuffed, and he sits down, picking up the phone. He says he hopes his visitor had a nice flight, and we see it’s Mr. Buscema, who nods. Cyrus asks what Buscema has for him, and Buscema says the question is, what does Cyrus have for him? If Cyrus wants his help taking down the Corinthos Organization, Cyrus needs to start by telling Buscema how he’s going to benefit his business.  

Gladys thanks Mr. Novak for the lovely drinks on the terrace. She appreciates his generosity. There’s no need to buy her dinner. Novak says, if she insists. A small price to pay for the pleasure of her company. She doesn’t know how much of a pleasure it’s been. She just can’t get past Carly’s rudeness. And that’s the last thing she’ll say about Carly, she promises. He says, no need to apologize about venting about Carly. It sounds like they have a complicated history.

Carly tells Jason, she’s going to go see Brando, and see if he has a lead on Cyrus’s connection with the Five Families tiramisù. He tells her, take a guard, but she says she thinks it’s safe. He says, take a guard anyway, and she asks if she should be worried. He says, no. If it comes down to it, he’ll get to Novak and his nephew; he may have to anyway. She says, why? and he says, because nobody threatens her. If anybody tries, they lose everything. She kisses him on the cheek, and the elevator door opens. Britt is there, and Carly turns, seeing her.

Cyrus says Buscema’s presence sends a clear message that, although the Buscema family supported Carly and Jason replacing Sonny, their interests align. Buscema says he’s obligated to consider all options, and Cyrus says, since this is just about business, the bottom line is, Jason and the Widow Corinthos are bad for it.

Novak asks how soon after Sonny’s passing did Jason and Carly connect, and Gladys says, practically at the wake. And this isn’t gossip – he says, of course (🍷) not, the truth and nothing but – while they were making lovey-dovey shark eyes at each other, Jason was playing slap and tickle with one of the doctors at General Hospital.

Britt comes out of the elevator, and says, the happy couple. Congratulations on picking the wedding date. Carly says, Britt heard (like it’s some big secret), and Britt says, it’s hard keep a secret like that from the internet. It’s coming up fast. Not a lot of time plan. Carly says, no time like the present, and goes in the elevator. Britt says she wants Carly to know, she wishes them nothing but the best. The elevator door closes, leaving Jason with Britt.  

Jax asks Josslyn, to what does he owe the pleasure? and she says she thought they should have some dad/daughter time. He says, that’s so sweet. What’s the real reason? She says, the celebratory dinner at the MetroCourt was a disaster, and he says, he knows; he’s sorry. He should have left his recent argument with her mother at home where it belonged. She says, it’s not really recent; there’s been tension for months. He says, she noticed, and she says, they usually work things out faster than this. She’s getting worried. There’s a beeping from the kitchen, and Josslyn thinks it’s the oven timer, but Jax says, it’s the smoke alarm.

Elizabeth and Finn find a parachuter on the ground. Pioneer Scout Wyatt (remember him?) pops out of the forest, and asks if they require assistance. Finn says, let him take a look first, and he and Elizabeth try to get the parachute off. Wyatt says he has a badge in knots, and Finn tells him to help. Wyatt runs over and says, it looks like a battle knot. Finn and Elizabeth both say, just untie it. He does, and Finn turns the man over. It’s Scotty, and I die laughing. Well, at least they put a parachute on him. That’s more than most bad guys would do.

Wyatt calls 9-1-1, and says, there appears to be a parachute accident. It’s a male, in his early 60s, unconscious… He tells them, hold on, and says they want Scotty’s vitals. Finn says he seems good; no broken bones. He thinks Scotty is just out cold. Wyatt says, there’s a doctor and nurse there, and they said no broken bones, but he’s out cold; that means unconscious. They’re about 200 yards from the campgrounds, and there’s vehicle access. He hangs up, and tells Finn and Elizabeth that an ambulance in en route. Finn thanks him, and says it’s good to see him again. Elizabeth says, they know each other? and Finn says, their paths crossed a long time ago. He asks how Wyatt is, and remarks on him being a Pioneer. Wyatt says he’s a Pioneer second class, and has two more badges to go to be first class. If they need help… Elizabeth thanks him, and rubs Scotty’s chest. Scotty opens his eyes, and Finn asks if Scotty can tell them what happened. Scotty says, are we there yet?    

Josslyn and Jax come out from the kitchen with plates, and Josslyn says, it’s the least she could do after all his effort, but apparently she inherited her mom’s talent in the kitchen. Trina tried to give her some pointers, but even Trina can only do so much. He says, when she comes over, she can practice on him. He’ll be her guinea pig, especially if it’s Lady Jane’s recipe. She says she hopes he feels that way after dinner, and he says, while they wait, tell him her concerns about him and her mother. She says, it’s mostly him. Since he came home from Nixon Falls, he’s seemed stressed. He says he’s fine; she doesn’t need to worry. She says, so his stress has nothing to do with her mom marrying Jason?

Britt tells Jason that she caught up with Maxie. She’s hard at work planning the wedding. She was surprised at the magnitude of the festivities. He says, they told Maxie understated, and she says, as in tasteful and small? Maxie is going all out, presumably with their blessing. She can’t help but wonder what he and Carly are trying to prove.   

Cyrus says, Sonny has always been in charge; Jason was just the brute force that kept him there. He’s a gifted enforcer, nothing more. Buscema says, interesting perspective, and Cyrus says, if Jason had any initiative, he would have removed Carly. Instead, he’s marrying her and asking the families to ignore that a civilian marched into the organization, and began calling the shots. A civilian who could go to the Feds, putting them all in danger of exposure.

Brando tells Sasha that he’s been working extra hours, but also picked up some side gigs so he can make improvements on his apartment. He was thinking, when Gladys moves out, maybe Sasha could move in. She says she didn’t realize he was ready for that step, and he says they’re both busy people who want to spend more time together. What better way than being in the same place when they’re not being busy? She says she hopes if they were to live under the same roof, it would be more than just a crash pad. He says, it’s a temporary home while he saves money to get a new place. Of course (🍷) he knows she can afford a beautiful home on her own already, and she says she wouldn’t go that far, but go on. He says, if and when they get a place together, he wants her to know he’ll pull his weight. She doesn’t have to decide right now, but he hopes she considers it. She says she’ll definitely consider it. There’s just one thing she needs to know. What are these side gigs? He says, they’re just side gigs, when Carly comes in. She says she needs to talk to him about something important.

Nina tells Sonny, the trick is to use a lot of club soda, and push it through the fabric, so the stain doesn’t set. She learned a lot of nifty weird tricks on how to clean clothes from being on Crimson shoots. Another cool thing is to use equal parts dish soap and peroxide… Sonny comes up behind her, and she turns to him. He kisses her, takes her hand, and leads her to the back.

Finn gets off the phone, and tells Elizabeth, Chase is loving watching the kids. He’s going to teach everyone to make something called campfire blondies? and Elizabeth says, they’re so good. He says they’re saving her one, and his daughter apparently is so excited about the prospect of scary campfire stories, she didn’t even ask when he’s coming back. She says, kids and their priorities, right? and he says, their people are taking great care of Scotty, right? She says, regardless of how many pending lawsuits he has against the hospital. He says, a man’s gotta make a living, and an orderly comes out. She tells Finn, the attending physician would like a word, and Finn says, lead the way. He leaves with her, and Jordan comes by. She thanks Elizabeth for the call, and says, Scotty was involved in a skydiving mishap? Elizabeth says, they don’t know what happened. All they know is, he crash landed near their campsite. Jordan asks, who’s we? and Elizabeth says, her and Finn; they were on a family camping trip. Jordan asks if Scotty was able to tell her what happened, but Elizabeth says, he was too out of it. Jordan asks if she thinks Scotty can speak to her now, when Finn comes out. He says he’s glad Jordan’s there. Scotty is in room 1024. Before she goes in, he and the attending physician are in agreement that he wasn’t knocked out on impact. They’re running a tox screen, and if the results are what they anticipated… Jordan says, he didn’t make the jump voluntarily.  

Britt tells Jason, don’t answer that. It’s none of her business. He says, okay, and she says, okay is an answer. It’s probably even more annoying than the answer to the original question. He starts to say something, but she says, don’t. Wow. She bets it’s the first time anybody told him to say less. He says he thinks she’s right, and she says, whatever’s going on makes no sense to her, but so what? She’s decided she doesn’t need to know all the secrets and answers to the universe. She just has to accept them. She’s glad she got that out of her system. Now she can move on.

Novak says, he takes it Gladys doesn’t appreciate the union between Carly and Jason, and Gladys laughs. She says, that gold-digging climber took her cousin for all he was worth, and the second he was gone, she threw herself at Jason. No gratitude or loyalty; no class. And how dare Carly not invite her to the wedding? Novak asks why Gladys would want to attend the celebration of a union of which she so sorely disapproves of, and Gladys says, it’s the hottest ticket in town. Novak laughs.

Jax asks what makes Josslyn think he’s worried about Carly marrying Jason? and she says, it’s impossible to miss. He says he has to work on his poker face, and she asks if the problem is her mother marrying Jason or marrying in general. He says, it’s more a parenting thing, and she says, that’s a very broad answer. He says, from the moment a child is in the world, a parent’s job is to look out for danger, and make sure they’re safe. Josslyn says they’ve done that, and he says, they have, but she’s off to college now, and with that, comes new worries. She says he doesn’t have to worry. She’ll still be the same person, just not under a parental roof. He says it’s not her he’s worried about. He’s worried about other people. Josslyn says she has a bodyguard, and Jax asks how she feels about that. She says, it used to bother her to have someone constantly looking over her shoulder, but she realized it was for her safety. Devon is cool. She acts like it’s inconvenient, but it makes her feel better, and Cameron is cool with it. He asks how that’s going, and she says they’re happy. He says, they should be. She should be living her life and having fun, and let him do the work. She says she was planning on it. She’s happy to know he’s on the job too. He says now that the food has cooled off, they should try this amazing appetizer.  

Carly says Sasha looks so beautiful; she’s glowing. Sasha thanks her, and Carly says she didn’t mean to interrupt. She needs to pick Brando’s brain about something, and it’s important. Brando says, whatever she needs, and Sasha says, while they talk, she’ll go to the ladies room. Carly promises it will just be a minute, and Sasha leaves. Carly says she hopes Sasha doesn’t think she doesn’t trust her, but Brando says he’s sure she understands some conversations don’t apply to her. Carly says, this is one of them. Cyrus being put away isn’t having the effect they were hoping for. He still has connections, and he’s using them to target people he feels wronged him. He says, the last time he saw Cyrus, Cyrus tried to kill him and his mother. Does she think he wants to finish the job?

Buscema asks what Cyrus is proposing, and Cyrus says, that the Five Families biscotti use Carly and Jason’s wedding as a window to strike. It will even provide alibis for the family heads. In one fell swoop, they can hobble the Corinthos Organization, and it will have no chance for recovery or retribution. Buscema says, it’s a risk, and Cyrus says, one has to speculate to accumulate. Is he in or out? Buscema asks if he has to decide now, and Cyrus says, not now, but soon. The wedding is approaching fast, and it might be their only shot at neutralizing Jason and his new bride.  

Carly says she doesn’t know if Cyrus is coming after Brando or not, and he asks what she needs from him. She says, Cyrus has somehow forged a relationship with someone high up in the Five Families rigatoni. Jason is trying to figure out who. He says, he was just Cyrus’s driver. He wasn’t very high up on the food chain. She says he was perfectly placed to interact with people on the ground. He and the other guards would hang out and talk, while they were inside doing business. He says, they mostly talked about sports. They didn’t exchange trade secrets. She asks if anyone seemed more loyal or sympathetic to Cyrus, but he says, no one springs to mind. He did keep a notepad. He can review it, and if he finds anything, he’ll tell her. She says, what about Joey Novak? Did he ever come in for his tune up?

Novak tells Gladys, it so happens he’s attending the wedding, and he’d be honored if she would accompany him. Gladys says, okay. It’s not her first rodeo, or her second. What’s his angle? He laughs, and says she reminds him of his of ex-wife. She says he’s not the first man to tell her that, and it’s never a ringing endorsement. He says, it is; she left him. They laugh, and she says, well then… She gets up, and says she guesses she’ll see him at the wedding. He lifts his glass.

Britt looks at her phone, and Jason asks if she has somewhere to be. She says she’s meeting someone, and they just arrived. Have a good evening. She walks over to the elevator, where she greets a guy we don’t know.   

Jax says, this is incredible. The cheese has so much flavor, and the marinara sauce is to die for. Josslyn has an odd look on her face, and says she didn’t make the sauce. He says she put together this beautiful selection. She doesn’t like it? She says she does like it; she loves it. He asks, why the face? when the timer goes off. She says she’ll go grab the stew.

Sonny and Nina are in Sonny’s bedroom, kissing, when her hair gets caught in his watch. Been there. She gets untangled, and sees the inscription. She says she’s sorry. She can’t do this.

Scotty is in a hospital bed, and Elizabeth comes in with Jordan and Finn. She hugs him, and says she’s so glad he’s okay. He says, it’s going to take more than a fall to break this Humpty Dumpty, and Jordan asks if he’s up for answering a few questions. He says he’s fuzzy, but fire away. She asks what he remembers, and he says he was on a plane. She says, private or commercial? and he says, private. She asks where he was headed, and he says, some woman’s name…  St. Lucia. The next thing he knew, they were going into a nosedive, and the oxygen masks dropped. They didn’t even have a chance to sip their champagne. Jordan asks if someone was with him, and he says, of course (🍷). Obrecht was with him. Why else would he charter a private jet? Tell him that she’s there and she’s okay.

Britt’s date babbles about himself, and she looks at her phone. She says, it’s an emergency at work. Nice to meet him. Duty calls. She jets, and Jason watches. In the elevator, Britt’s phone rings. She says, if only they’d called five minutes ago, she wouldn’t have had to lie. What’s up? Jordan asks her to get to the hospital as soon as she can.  

Finn says, Obrecht hasn’t shown up in the ER, and hasn’t been admitted. He’s having Amy check the other hospitals. Joran says, the FTA and the NTSB have no reports of any crashes. She has a call in to find out if any aircraft lost contact with flight control, but the flight plan and manifest won’t be available tonight. Elizabeth says, it doesn’t make any sense. Parachutes aren’t exactly standard safety gear, even on a private jet, right? Finn says, they’re not standard, and Scotty was dressed in travel clothes, not a jumpsuit. It’s pretty clear he was forced out of that plane. Jordan says, there’s a lot they don’t know, but this wasn’t an accident. And whoever arranged it, is powerful, and potentially deadly.

Cyrus says, if Buscema and the other families are concerned about liability, he’ll be more than happy to coordinate the takeover personally. Buscema says, from there? He can do that? Cyrus says he’s had plenty of practice running things remotely. As we all have at this point. Buscema says, all this to take Carly and Jason off the board. What’s really in this for Cyrus?

Brando tells Carly that Joey never showed up, and Carly says, he’s not likely to. He was sent abroad according to Vincent. Brando says he almost wishes he was still in good with Cyrus; he could go to the source. Carly says, unfortunately, Cyrus’s trust in Brando was gone the second Sasha chose him over Cyrus. He says, lucky him, and she says she thinks saving Sasha’s life had something to do with it. He says, funny how life works out. He always respected Sonny, and Jason came through for him a lot. He’s glad she and Jason found each other. Now they both have unexpected love in their lives. She says, love they want to protect. Sasha listens in, and he says he’s sure Joey isn’t the only made guy with a car. He’ll reach out to Novak, Woo, and Buscema’s people ,and tell them he’s open for business. With a special discount for associates. Nothing like a beer and a wait on their hands to get guys talking. Carly says he’s a great help, when Sasha comes in. She asks, what is he helping with exactly?

Josslyn says, dinner is served, and Jax says, before they sit down, tell him what was bothering her before. She says, it was nothing, but he says, it didn’t seem like nothing. She says she’s literally too embarrassed to say it out loud, but he says she knows she can tell him anything. She says, it’s going to sound weird, but the sauce tasted exactly like Sonny’s. Exactly. He says, Sonny was known to be a good cook, but most marinara sauces use the same ingredients. She says, exactly . Even the best ones taste the same. Did it taste like any he’s had before? Jax admits it didn’t, and she says, why not? He says, it had a spicy kick, almost like arrabbiata, but not; and a little smoky. She says, Sonny’s sauce was unique… until now. If she didn’t know Sonny was dead, she’d swear Sonny made himself.

Britt goes to Scotty’s room, and says, the Commissioner told her he was there. He asks if she spoke to Elizabeth and Finn, and she says she came straight to see him, in case there was a story or anything she needs to get straight. Wasn’t he supposed to be on his way to St. Lucia with her mother? What happened? He says he doesn’t know. They were on a private jet, and the next thing he knew, the plane started to go down. The oxygen masks were dropping. All he remembers is coming to on the ground, and seeing a kid in a Pioneer Scout uniform standing over him with Finn and Elizabeth. She asks, what happened to her mother? Please tell her that she bailed out with him. He says he doesn’t remember bailing out himself. He hopes to God she made it off the plane safe.

Wyatt picks up trash around where Scotty fell. He sees the locket and picks it up, looking at Nathan and Britt’s pictures.  

Carly tells Sasha, she truly has nothing to worry about, when Glady’s stumbles in. She laughs, and Brando tells her, please say she didn’t drive. She says she took a ride… Sasha says, Ride Share? and Gladys says, that’s the one. She did want to let Carly know… Carly says, know what? and Gladys says, even though Carly didn’t see fit to invite her, she’ll be a wedding guest after all. She’s coming as a plus one. Carly cringes, and says, let her guess. Gladys says she’ll never guess, and Carly says, Vincent Novak. Gladys asks how she guessed, and Carly says, easy. Gladys says she can’t wait to share in Carly’s special day. She takes Carly’s hand, and says, and she’ll have the chicken… Wait, no, the fish… On second thought, the chicken.

Jason tells Novak, there are rumors that Cyrus is making moves behind bars. He wants to make sure it doesn’t threaten the peace. Novak says, straight to the point. He admires that. Therefore, he’ll do the same. They have nothing to fear from the Novaks. Certainly not where Cyrus is concerned. He hasn’t forgotten Cyrus burning his warehouse, and he doesn’t forgive it. Under the circumstances, the enemy of his enemy is his friend.

Cyrus tells Buscema to remember, first and foremost, he’s an opportunist. Where there is turmoil, there’s an opportunity to strike. What’s in it for him is simple. He wants revenge.

Nina tells Sonny that she’s sorry, but this watch is evidence of the life he used to have. if he ever remembers that life, the people he loved, and the people who loved him… He says, the people who didn’t bother to look for him? She says, if he remembers that life, he might discover there are people out there who love and miss him, and he might discover he loves and misses them too. She can’t do this until he learns who he used to be before Nixon Falls. He says he doesn’t want to know. How many times does he have to tell her? He doesn’t want to. She takes his hand, and puts the watch in it. She says, until he does, she can’t give him all of her. Find out who he is. She leaves, and he tosses the watch on the bed.

Josslyn says, Jax probably never tried Sonny’s sauce, but he has to believe her that this sauce is exactly like it. He asks where she got it, and she says, Trina got it at a bar in Nixon Falls. He asks what the name of the bar is, and she says, he’s right; she’s being ridiculous. He tells her that he didn’t say that, and she says, it has to be a coincidence; it can’t be Sonny’s sauce. That’s crazy, right? Jax remembers seeing Sonny in a haze when he was put on the stretcher after he was shot. He says, right. Crazy.  

Tomorrow, Alexis says someone has to walk away, Jordan tells Anna that a question needs answering, Spencer tells Nikolas that the stalker isn’t the only threat, and Jax says, if anyone knows, it’s Nina.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit’s wedding dress samples came; her latest venture into design. In her interview, she said designing them was different because it was one memory a woman was going to have forever. Unless it was Hollywood. Then she might have more than one memory. They weren’t all my taste, but they were all gorgeous, and I have to admit, Dorit is good at what she does. PK wanted to name the dresses, and in Dorit’s interview, she said, PK wanted to be involved in everything. She didn’t like it at first, but then she’d realize he was a visionary. They talked about marriage, which led to talking about Erika, which seems to be the topic of every conversation this season. In her interview, Dorit said she thought the reason why she talked too much with the women, was because her husband didn’t let her talk at home.    

Sutton took Kyle to see her new house, which was one of those boxy things you see in L.A., but the box is hiding the fabulousness inside. It was 6000 square feet, with 4 bedrooms, and 5 bathrooms. Sutton was still renovating, and in Kyle’s interview, she said while Sutton was waiting to move in, she was counting the rent. In Sutton’s interview, she said she was living her best life after her divorce. The house represented her independence as a single woman, and was symbolic to her. She asked Kyle what she and Mauricio were doing for their 25^th anniversary, and Kyle said they were getting the kids out of the house, and having dinner at home. She asked how Sutton felt about LisaR’s launch party, and Sutton said the party itself was beautiful. She was using kid gloves with Erika, but when she got a doodoo nail pointing at her face, and Erika called her small town, she realized Erika wasn’t as special as she’d thought. In Sutton’s interview, she said she thought she and Erika had bonded in a deeper way. We flashed back to Sutton saying she had a pretty mess inside, and Erika high-fiving her. She told Kyle that she felt betrayed, and was ready for a hardcore conversation with Erika. In her interview, she said she didn’t think Erika knew exactly what was going on, but she thought Tom might have said the gig was up. Take care of yourself; it’s been a nice ride. Sutton told Kyle that Erika lied about the car accident. We flashed back to Erika’s two different stories, and in Kyle’s interview, she said she understood Erika keeping things to herself. She didn’t think Erika trusted people. She’d been married to a lawyer, and he’d probably told her to be careful of the things she said; they could be used against her. Sutton said she didn’t think it was impossible, but it seemed fishy. In her interview, she said, Erika made a deal with the devil, and the devil always comes knocking. Wow. That is so true. Kyle said she’d be eating crow if Erika wasn’t the person she thought Erika was. One of them had to be wrong. Sutton said it was all in the pastry.

Crystal prepared lunch with housekeeper Lucy, and it was quite a spread of Chinese fare. Erika applauded when she saw pancakes. In Crystals interview, she said she’d eaten guinea pig from a street vendor, and had thought it was pig. She dumb. And also, eww! The kids were being taught songs and poems in Chinese, and Crystal said her parents had spoken Chinese at home when she was growing up. She didn’t want her kids to lose their culture. I’m with her there. There are things I wished I’d learned about my own cultures when younger. Kathy joined them, and said she wanted to make a beautiful, special party. In her interview, she said she had one friend where it was always the same salmon and the same group of people. She liked to try and mix it up. Garcelle was the last one to join them, and said she thought a small group was nice. They talked about Dorit being long-winded, and Erika said it was something they’d all mentioned. Kathy said she’d even joked about it, and we flashed back to that. In Garcelle’s interview, she said, what were they supposed to do? Duct tape? Erika said Dorit was sensitive, and Garcelle said she and Erika were perceived as strong. Erika said she’d never kick a dog when it was down, and do the what about me? thing. She said Sutton had been judgmental at the launch party, wanting to put a distance between them because, what about me? In Erika’s interview, she said Sutton was disappointing. The Sutton she knew had been kind to her. We flashed back to Sutton being supportive, and Erika said, for Sutton to flip was enough to make her want to stand back. Kathy said Sutton was thinking about her social standing, which was more conservative. The good news and bad news was that nobody cared what they had to say. Everyone had skeletons in their closet. It was just that her family’s skeletons were out there. In her interview, Erika said if you wanted to talk reputation, ask Kathy Hilton. If Kathy had nothing to worry about, none of them did. Erika said she’d never heard of Sutton before she joined the group, and in Garcelle’s interview, she wondered if somebody was only important if Erika knew who they were. Before Crystal joined them, Garcelle didn’t know her, but she did know Rob. I guess we knew Tom long before Erika too. Crystal said she thought Sutton’s behavior stemmed from insecurity, and Garcelle said she found Sutton to be quirky and funny, and she finally had a voice. Crystal thought Sutton’s voice was awkward, and Erika said, Sutton was lucky that people knew who TF she was.

Kyle was impressed by the ton of candles Mauricio put out for their 25^th anniversary. She asked what he had planned for her, and he said, caviar and Joe’s stone crab. They toasted to their anniversary, and in Kyle’s interview, she said it made her happy. Her husband had always been supportive, and she was supportive of him. Their lives had changed a lot, yet they were able to stay in sync. We flashed back to them over the years, and she said, mutual respect. That didn’t mean they don’t fight. She was usually the one who got mad, and he had to apologize if he wanted peace in his life. Mauricio took her past more candles and a billion balloons on the ceiling, to a table near the pool, which was beautifully lit up. He had several bottles of champagne waiting, and the caviar. In her interview, Kyle said her mom hadn’t trusted men, and said she only cared about her kids. Kyle had made sure her marriage was a priority. If she’d left whenever she was upset, she woudn’t have lasted a year. They talked about Erika, and Kyle said she and Tom had been married 20 years. In her interview, she said it was a reminder to put in the homework you had to do for marriage. Mauricio hoped Erika didn’t know anything about Tom’s dealings, and Kyle hoped she wasn’t wrong about Erika.

Everyone got ready for Kathy’s party. In Sutton’s interview, she said you didn’t have to believe your friends 100% of the time. Sometimes you had to trust your gut. Kathy went around checking everything before the party, and in her interview, she explained that she needed to touch everything. Her pet peeve was people arriving 10 minutes early when she was doing last minute touches. She was a fluffer. Apparently she didn’t know what that word means, and I was surprised the producers didn’t enlighten her. If you don’t know what it means, I’m not telling you. Google it. Butler Patrick welcomed LisaR, who was the first to arrive. In LisaR’s interview, she said it was old school hospitality at the Hilton’s. No one had a staff like Kathy’s. That’s money. Kathy was like the fourth one there, and in her interview, Kyle said that Kathy absolutely showed up late for her own parties. Garcelle came in last, wearing a fabulous faux leopard coat. Patrick passed around amazing hors d’oeuvres, and kept their glasses filled. LisaR said she was on her second drink, and not responsible for what came out of her mouth. Has she ever been? They headed for the dinner table, and Sutton said she and Erika had a second to chitchat. She wanted to make sure Erika was okay with what had happened at the party. Erika asked what Sutton was trying to do. They didn’t need clear the air. Sutton had made her position clear. Erika had heard it from everyone else, and didn’t want to talk. She had enough problems, and only had enough capacity for what mattered to her. And Sutton’s opinion didn’t matter ( …matter, matter, matter – I had a Gilbert and Sullivan moment – sorry). Erika excused herself to go to the ladies room, and Kathy asked what Sutton did. Sutton said she asked if Erika wanted to chitchat, and it wasn’t received well. She’d thought it was better for Erika to hear what she’d said from her. Caviar was served, and in Dorit’s interview, she said, never mind the homemade vodka that was probably made for Kathy personally, but when the caviar pie was brought out, they exited Beverly Hills and went to heaven.

Dorit started to rehash things with Garcelle, saying, she didn’t like confrontation, but she always spoke up for herself. What Garcelle said had made her feel sh*tty. Kathy wisely suggested that they wanted to actually enjoy it when they ate, and in Garcelle’s interview, she said she was up for a conversation with Dorit, but Dorit would have been hijacking the conversation all night. So, thanks, Kathy. Dorit was doing something right though, since that tiny Pomeranian of Kathy’s was cozy in her lap. LisaR somehow got ahold of a bell that had been taken away from her earlier, and said if anyone had anything to work out or deal with, ring the bell. Because we’re in third grade. I thought, did she not just hear Kathy? and LisaR shoved the bell at Sutton. Sutton said she’d tried to have a conversation with Erika, and it upset her. Erika said she hadn’t been upset; Sutton’s opinion didn’t matter to her. Dorit tried to interject, but Erika told her, hold on. Sutton said she had the bell, like anyone cared, and asked Erika to stop speaking to her the way she was. Erika said her life had nothing to do with Sutton, and in Kathy’s interview, she said she was starting to think she should have let Dorit talk. Patrick must be sorry he had to serve Erika the lambchops. In the kitchen, Patrick told the staff that they were fighting like cats and dogs out there. Sutton said Erika’s crack about her being small town was derogatory, not just to her, but anyone from a small town. She was proud of what she and her husband had built from the ground up, with no money. Erika asked how her life impacted Sutton’s, and Sutton said she thought it would, but it hadn’t. She’d panicked. Erika just kept saying her life didn’t affect Sutton.  

Dorit said she loved and supported Erika, and didn’t agree with Sutton, but every article did have their names dragged in. In Dorit’s interview, she said she wasn’t worried, but there was so much they didn’t know. They could be subpoenaed. That didn’t mean they weren’t friends; they just needed reassurance. Erika said a sweet day was coming, and she’d remember those who were with her, and those against her. Sutton said she wasn’t against Erika, and Garcelle said it was human nature to wonder if something would affect you. Erika insisted it wasn’t. Why would they be dragged in? A tear rolled down her cheek, and I have to admit, I thought it was a little too perfect. And BTW, waterproof mascara this time. Garcelle still thought it was human to wonder if you’d be implicated, but she didn’t want Erika to be hurt. She also didn’t like the way Erika was looking at her, which was Ice Queen Barbie. Garcelle sat next to Erika, and told her she was trying to understand a little bit. She tried to wipe the tear from Erika’s cheek, and Erika jerked away. In Garcelle’s interview, she said she was just trying to be kind. Dorit said she’d do anything Erika needed, but holy sh*t, reading about the victims was hard to digest. She would think Erika felt the same. Erika said she felt worse. In Dorit’s interview, she said she felt bad for Erika, but the victims who had nothing, and now had even less. Erika asked why they were all torturing her, and Dorit said they were trying to be there for her. Erika said it didn’t like it. And in a tone to match the look she gave Garcelle, she said, look at me. Look at my effing life.

Dorit looked like she had a headache, and said it broke her heart. Erika said if it broke her heart, why was she still talking? Dorit said nothing was being done to Erika, and LisaR started philosophizing about loving your neighbor and yourself. Erika said she loved LisaR, but that was bullsh*t. I had to agree with the latter, as is most of what LisaR says. Erika said every time she came to an event, they got things out of her. She needed compassion, and was looking around the table for support. A confused Kyle said Erika had their support. It was about Sutton being honest with what she’d said. She was Sutton’s friend, but Sutton wasn’t being honest. She was being two-faced. In Sutton’s interview, she said Kyle was calling her two-faced, and no one was speaking up. She told Erika she’d brought up hard questions at the dinner, but she didn’t think Erika was a liar. She’d softened on her point-of-view. Kyle said Sutton told her that she thought Erika was lying. In Kyle’s interview, she said they all had questions, but they all didn’t call a meeting, and have the same concerns. We flashed back to Sutton’s meeting, and Kyle said Sutton had a big voice when the person she was talking about wasn’t there, but when she saw them, it was a different situation. In Garcelle’s interview, she didn’t know why Kyle and LisaR were focused on Sutton. Why not Dorit? We flashed back to Dorit saying everything she’d believed about Erika’s life was the opposite. Why is Sutton being the scapegoat? I’ll tell you why. They always choose someone to pick on each season because they’re mean girls, LisaR leading the pack. This time, new girl Crystal also jumped on the get-some-more-screen-time bandwagon immediately. Sutton said when Erika had told two different stories about the car accident, she’d thought Erika lied. Erika said she wasn’t a liar, and Sutton said she didn’t trust Erika to tell them the truth 100%. In her interview, Sutton said, where there was one lie, there were a lot more. It was like when you saw one cockroach, you knew there were a lot under the sheetrock. Erika said Sutton was trying to accuse her of lying, and she wasn’t a liar. She could go head-to-head all day with Sutton. She had a lot of effing nerve. Sutton told Erika not to talk to her like that, and Erika said, or what? like a bully on the playground. Sutton said, or nothing, and Erika said, exactly. So STFU. Sutton had no idea what she was talking about.

To be continued…

There was no preview.

🛣 Hitting the Road, Jack…

Tomorrow (aka Thursday), Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles begins a new season, although I might sit this one out. Too many numbers. The two Toms are also having another Bravo watch party at 10 pm, this time for Southern Charm. I’m not that crazy about these. Although I love watching other people watching TV and making snarky comments – my new dream job – they bring in random friends whose opinions I couldn’t care less about. Not that I care about their opinions either, but at least I know who they are. Until we meet again for who knows what, stay safe, stay more competitive with yourself than anyone else, and stay not pondering the knot. Just untie it.