What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly lights a candle in the hospital chapel and says, miss you, mom, so much. Drew comes in and sits next to her, and they hug.

At work, Willow gets a call from Michael, who’s at the Quartermaines. She flashes back to yelling at him on the pier about blackmailing Nina and not letting her make up her own mind. She answers and he tells her that Wiley is putting on a puppet show for Amelia. It’s an epic saga about a family of four who adopts all the puppies at a local shelter. According to Wiley, especially the senior puppies because they deserve homes too. She says, that’s their boy, and he says he was hired to film it for her, so if she receives a mystery video, be prepared for some fine cinema. She says she looks forward to it, and he says, the kids are good, but they were wondering when she’s going to get home. So is he. He misses her.

Finn and Elizabeth go into his office, and he tells her that he appreciates the support, all of it. She says, he’d better, and he says he was thinking maybe it would best if she’s not here when the doctor shows up. He’s breaking a few rules, and it might get dicey. He doesn’t want her associated with any of it. She says, diceyness? and he thanks her for understanding. She says she thinks it’s cute how he wants to protect her, and he says, she’s not going anywhere, is she? She says, they’re in this together, and if this doctor has the information they need to win this lawsuit… There’s a knock at the door, and Finn and Dr. Sawyer introduce themselves. He thanks her for coming, and she says she’s actually here on another case, so the timing is perfect. He introduces Elizabeth and says she’ll be sitting in with them. The doctor asks how she can help. He needs a consult on a patient? He says he does. In fact, her input might be life altering.

Spencer asks how it went in court, and Esme says, he’d know if he’d been there like he promised. Now if he’ll excuse her, she’d like to take her son home. He says he thinks they should talk first, but she says she has nothing to say to him. She starts to go to Ace’s room, but he circumvents her. She says she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she wants her son, and she wants him now. He says, Ace is asleep. He sees no point in waking him up right now. Besides, he thought they should check in. She asks what he wants to know, and he says, why they let her go for starters. She says she’s sure he hoped she’d get sent up the river for the rest of her life, but he says, these days, he has mixed feelings about things like that. She says she doesn’t believe him. If any part of him cared about her, he would have brought Ace to her arraignment like she asked him to. He says, so she could play on the judge’s sympathies? but she says, so if worse came to worse, she could kiss her baby goodbye before they carted her away. But if it softened up the judge, sure, that would have been a nice bonus. He says, there she is, and she asks if he wouldn’t have done the same thing, like anyone would, but he says, it doesn’t matter now. She’s free, but she still hasn’t told him how. Did Ava drop the charges? She says, please. Ava would have brought her own electric chair if she could have gotten it past security. What does he want her to say? She pled guilty. He says he knows, and she asks if he’s surprised. He says, yes, and she tells him that she’s changed as a person. He says, either that or she brokered a deal, and she says, her lawyer and the DA’s office don’t want to clog up the system with a petty crime, and it’s not like she’s ever setting foot in Ava’s drafty castle again. So here she is and here she goes. She’s getting her son and taking him home. He steps in front of her and says, she can’t.

Dr. Sawyer asks to see the patient’s file, and Finn gives it to her, saying, he believes she’s familiar with the patient. Dennis Muldoon. She says she is. She was under the impression Mr. Muldoon had died. Finn says, he did, and she says, if there’s no patient, why does he need a consult? What’s this about? Finn says, Mr. Muldoon died shortly after coming to see him, and now Muldoon’s wife is suing him for malpractice. Dr. Sawyer says she’s sorry to hear that, and he thanks her. He says he was hoping her familiarity with the patient might shed some light, and she says, he’s hoping she can provide some information to assist with his defense? He says, yes, and she says she’s sorry. She can’t help him.

Carly asks how Drew knew where to find her, and he says he came by the house. Pilar told him that she came here to be with Josslyn. Is she all right? Carly says, physically, she’s fine, but she’s had a very emotional night. Josslyn’s been very worried about her friend Adam who has been going through a very difficult time. This afternoon he tried to kill himself. Drew asks if he’s all right, and she says, he’s stable. Apparently, his parents put him under a crazy amount of pressure to succeed. Good grades aren’t enough. If you don’t get 100%, you’re a failure. And apparently Adam snapped and… He says he doesn’t understand how parents can put their kids through that. (Hey, wait…) Obviously, he wants the best for Scout and he’s going to push her to succeed, but mistakes are such an important part of life; that’s what you learn from. She says, it’s the story of her life, and he says, exactly, and look how she turned out. She says she just always tries to strike a balance with her kids. She wants them to excel, but she also wants them to be true to who they are. Michael and Josslyn are achievers. If they see a challenge ahead of them, they’re going to run right for it. He says, they take after her, but she says she doesn’t know about that. Morgan dreamed bigger than his follow-through, and Donna is so young, she hopes she doesn’t mess that kid up. He says, if she screws that up, Donna will let her know, and Carly says, she’s not afraid to speak her opinions. He says, Donna has incredible role models – Josslyn, Michael… She says, Josslyn is an incredible young woman and Michael is her rock. She couldn’t ask for a better son. He says, and he couldn’t ask for a better friend. She hugs him.

Michael asks if he and Willow can talk tonight when she gets home, and Willow sees Nina come out of the elevator, and says, tonight won’t work; maybe tomorrow. Kiss the kids goodnight for her. Nina comes to the reception desk, and Willow says she’s at work. What does Nina want? Nina says, just a few minutes. They haven’t spoken since New Year’s Eve, and there’s still a lot that needs to be said. Willow asks if she’s supposed to thank Nina for stabbing Carly and Drew in the back or for striking a deal with her husband so he would keep quiet about it.

Michael tells Wiley that he’ll come up soon to tuck him in, and Wiley says, mommy too? Michael says, mommy will come up and give him a goodnight kiss when she gets home from work, even if he’s already asleep. He thanks the nanny, and she takes the kids upstairs. Tracy and Ned come in, and Tracy asks if Michael will be joining them for dinner. Leo is insisting they wait for him. Michael asks her to tell Leo that he’s sorry, but he can’t make it. He’s just heading out. She says she hopes Leo lectures him; he’s getting very good at it. Michael says he’s looking forward to it, and asks Ned to return the proxy he gave him. Tracy asks why he’d do that, and Michael says, because the proxy was conditional on no one finding out Nina turned Drew and his mom in to the SEC. Tracy says, but Ned lived up to his end of the bargain. He wasn’t the one who outed Nina. Michael says he may lose what he loves the most over all this. So at the very least, Ned should lose control of ELQ.

Nina says she’s not going to try and justify what she did, and Willow says, that’s a relief. Nina says, but she’d like to explain why she did it. She knows Willow is at work, but just give her a date and a time. There’s just so much they need to say to each other. (I see Nina is going for the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away approach.) Willow says she has nothing to say to Nina, but Nina says she thinks Willow does. If she were Willow, she’d want to let her have it. They’ve both had a lifetime of pain. If they could just share that with each other and come to a new understanding, she thinks they should do that, even if it’s the last conversation they ever have. Coming down the hall with Drew, Carly says, hasn’t Nina done enough damage? Can’t she leave Willow alone?

Carly asks if Willow is okay, because she’s five, and Willow says she’s fine. Carly asks if she’s sure, and Nina says, she’s a grown woman. Willow has no trouble telling her to get lost. Carly says, but Nina never goes away, despite turning her and Drew in to the SEC. Nina says, for a crime they actually committed, and Carly says, really? Nina is married to Sonny Corinthos. Nina came at her out of spite and others had to suffer. Nina says, not Michael, and Drew asks what that’s supposed to mean. Nina says, Michael hasn’t got around to telling him. She’s sure he’s going to. It’s not like it’s a secret anymore. Drew asks what she’s talking about, and Nina says she did inform the SEC about him and Carly. Everybody knows that now, but the reason it was kept a secret for so long was because Michael knew and said nothing.

Ned says, the proxy will be on Michael’s desk first thing in the morning. Is that soon enough? Michael thanks him, and Ned says, don’t misinterpret his willingness to return it as a victory. Michael says, there’s nothing to interpret. The proxy is his. He leant it to Ned and he wants it back. It’s just a matter of business. Ned says, the real issue is why Michael needed his silence, and that isn’t business. Michael withheld the truth about Nina from Sonny, from Willow, and most importantly from his mother and Drew, the ones most affected by Nina. Why? Michael flashes back to telling Nina that he’s trying to protect his family from her. His father is happy and he’s not going to take that away from him. He’s sure Sonny will be happy until he finds out the kind of woman she really is. She’ll see his family only when he says it’s okay to see them and she’s going to sell his mother her half of the MetroCourt back. Michael tells Ned that he was protecting his family, and Ned says, he’s just like grandfather, at his worst. Tracy tells Michael to disregard his cousin. He has a noble streak, but it only shows up when he wants to take the moral high ground. Ned thanks her for her support, and she says, about this little deal Michael made, Quartermaine to Quartermaine. She has never been prouder.

Finn asks Dr. Sawyer to please just hear him out, but she says she’d rather hear from his attorney. She’d be more than happy to testify in court or by deposition, but without a court order, she can’t violate doctor/patient privilege, even when the patient is deceased, as she’s sure he knows. He says he’s absolutely aware. Perhaps he can provide some context. She says, have his lawyer reach out to her. Until then, she really should be on her way. Elizabeth says, before Dr. Sawyer goes, just hear her out.

Esme says, who is Spencer to tell her that she can’t do anything? Ace is her son and she’s taking him home now. He says he needs to tell her something first, but she says, actually, he doesn’t. Trina already broke the news about her studying at the Sorbonne, and lucky him, he gets to go along for the ride. Now she knows where his priorities lie… He says, she knows nothing about his priorities, and if he didn’t care about Ace… She says, he made his choice. Just own it. He says, she’s right. He has made his choice. She says, and so has she. She’s bringing her son home where he belongs. He says, Ace’s home is not with her. Not anymore.

Carly says, there really is no rock bottom with Nina. Blaming Michael for what she did. Nina says she’s simply just telling them what Michael did. Drew says, it doesn’t make any sense. What reason could Michael possibly have to protect her? Nina says, he wasn’t protecting her. He was holding what she did over her head, using his silence as leverage. He was blackmailing her, forcing her to keep her distance from her daughter. Carly laughs and says she doesn’t know why she bothers listening, because every word out of Nina’s mouth is a lie. Nina says, fine. If Carly doesn’t believe her, ask Michael. Carly says she will because she knows she’ll get the truth from him, and Drew asks Willow if she’s sure she’s okay. Willow says, no, but she will be, and Drew and Carly leave. Willow says, if Nina hadn’t lost her before, she has now.

Dr. Sawyer says, if she’s learned one thing in her career as a physician, it’s to always listen to the nurses, and tells Elizabeth to say what she has to say. Elizabeth thanks her and says she can see Dr. Sawyer wants to help, that she has something to say. She’s not wrong about that, is she? Before Dr. Sawyer makes any decisions, there are a few things she should know about Dr. Finn. Elizabeth is sure she’s aware that he developed a cure for Blackwood’s Disease, but what she can’t know is, the very first person he saved with that cure was Elizabeth’s sister. And when that cure was finalized, Dr. Finn handed over the patent to the hospital, saving it from financial ruin. If this lawsuit prevails, he won’t be able to practice medicine anymore. And there’s no worse feeling that you can save someone, and not being able to. So please, could the doctor just stay and hear what they have to say?

Esme says, where the hell does Spencer get off telling her where Ace’s home is? He is not Ace’s father. Spencer says, no, he’s not. He’s Ace’s brother and he loves him very much. She says, prove it. Don’t go to Paris. Stay here with him… Right. She didn’t think so. She turns to go, and he says, when he told her that Ace’s home wasn’t with her anymore, he didn’t mean it the way she thought. She asks how he meant it, and he says, Ace is gone. She says, gone where? and he says, with our father.

Willow takes Nina into an exam room and says, she wanted to get everything out in the open? Go. Nina says, turning in Carly and Drew was a stupid, impulsive decision, but she was really upset at the thought of losing Willow and she lashed out. Willow says, lashed out? She’s a wrecking ball. Nina says, Willow is right. She’s a lot, but Willow has to understand. She knows Willow knows this, but Carly has kept her from both of her daughters. First Nelle, and then of course (🍷), Willow. Willow says, Nelle was dead by the time Carly figured out she was Nina’s daughter, but Nina says she only has Carly’s word for that. (And that’s not true, right? I think she knew before. There was that whole thing about how she knew Nelle as a kid.) Willow says, well, Nina can take her word for this. Carly didn’t tell her that Nina was her mother because she didn’t want to know. Nina says, she doesn’t mean that, but Willow says she does. After the visitation hearing, she told Carly that she didn’t want to find her birth mother for fear she might turn out to be as awful as Nina was. The joke’s on her because here Nina is, her birth mother. Petty, vindictive, and selfish to the core.

Ned says, since when is Tracy proud of Michael? and Tracy says, since he showed his true colors. What he pulled is definitely worthy of her father. Underneath that mild-mannered baby face, beats the heart of a true Quartermaine. Michael says, if doing right by his family finally makes him a Quartermaine in her eyes, then so be it. But he gave Nina his silence for the sake of his children and Willow, because they are his priority above everything and anyone else. Carly and Drew walk in.

Tracy says she guesses they have a lot to discuss, so why doesn’t Ned join her in the kitchen? She’s suddenly famished. Ned says, yes, treachery always improves one’s appetite, and follows her out. Michael says, so, Nina told them, and Carly says, she did, and she called Nina a liar. But for the first time in Nina’s life, she’s telling the truth. Isn’t she?

Nina says she agrees she’s made mistakes, and Willow says, mistakes? Please. It was all deliberate. Nina thought it through with care. She needed to hurt Drew in order to hurt Carly, and she was proud of what she’d done. Just like she enjoyed causing a rift between Michael and Drew and his mom. Nina says she actually didn’t want to tell them anything, but Willow says she was standing right there. Nina couldn’t wait to throw it in Carly’s face that Michael knew. Nina says, Michael was blackmailing her. He told her the only way he would keep quiet was if she let him decide when she could see Willow and the kids. Nina cries and says she agreed to it because losing Willow a bit at a time was better than losing her all at once. That’s what’s happening now. Willow says, Carly was right. All Nina does is lie to everyone. And the person she’s lying to the most is herself.

Dr. Sawyer asks how they propose doing this without violating confidentiality, and Finn says, very carefully. Off the record, strictly hypotheticals. Elizabeth says, and if Dr. Sawyer says, stop, they stop. Dr. Sawyer says, okay, and they sit down. Finn says, hypothetically, a patient who dies from Stage IV colon cancer, usually has been exhibiting symptoms for quite some time, yes? Dr. Sawyer says, yes, and he says, hypothetically, this patient may have been exhibiting symptoms for two or three months prior. She says, it would be a certainty that a patient in this condition would be symptomatic, and he tells her, say this patient had a history of traveling to remote locations. They exhibit symptoms consistent with colon cancer or any other maladies, and they tested positive for one or more of those maladies. Dr. Sawyer says, personally, she would screen for any and all unknowns to rule them out, and he says, including cancer? She says, correct. And if testing came up positive for cancer, she would certainly refer that patient to an oncologist… hypothetically.

Esme says, Nikolas was here, and Spencer says, yes. That’s why he didn’t bring Ace to court. His father came back, and he wanted to take him and Ace with him. She says, take him where? Where did Nikolas take Ace? Spencer says, Ace is safe, and she says, Ace is safe with her. Did Spencer at least fight him off? Spencer doesn’t have a scratch on him. Did he at least call the police? They have to find out where Nikolas took Ace. He says he doesn’t know where his father took Ace. She needs to accept Ace is gone though. (Spencer is seriously creeping me out, the way he’s talking.) She says, the hell she does. She’s Ace’s mother and his legal guardian. She takes out her phone and says, Nikolas has no right to her son, the son he abandoned. She’s calling the police. He says, put the phone away, and she says, you don’t tell me what to do, Spencer, and he asks if she doesn’t mean Spence. That’s what she used to call him, back when she was busy manipulating people and destroying their property, ruining their lives. He flashes back to her calling him Spence in the interrogation room, and he says, the old Esme, the one who lived to do her father’s bidding.

Elizabeth says, may I? and Dr. Sawyer says, if she has another hypothetical. Elizabeth says, of course (🍷). This is actually more of a procedural question. The doctor says, go ahead, and Elizabeth says, when she refers a patient to an oncologist, or any specialist really, does her office know if that patient made and kept their appointment? Dr. Sawyer says, like most practices, once they make the referral, it’s up to the patient to let them know if they followed up, and Elizabeth says, right. So hypothetically… Dr. Sawyer says, some patients we never hear back from. Soap looks all around.

Esme says, she called him Spence? and Spencer says, she did. She says, so what? and he says he thinks they both know what that means. She says, it means nothing, especially now that her son has been kidnapped. He says, it means that she’s back, the old Esme, the one who destroyed his entire world. She says, that’s a little melodramatic, but he says, no, it isn’t. Look him in his eyes and tell him that she doesn’t remember. Tell him that she doesn’t remember swan diving off of that tower and his father keeping her prisoner up there for months. Tell him that she doesn’t remember tormenting Trina and setting Ava’s car on fire and using him to drive a wedge between Ava and his father. All because her father put her up to it because of his sick obsession with her. Esme says she’s heard those stories, and that is all they are to her, but he says, no, no, no (a million noes). She remembers. She’s the same Esme. She’s the same Esme that targeted him in school, who convinced him that she loved him when she didn’t. And the new Esme – whatever that façade was – became very close to being a decent person and a good mother, but that Esme is gone. She’s back to being a puppet for her psychotic father. That is the Esme Prince he’s talking to right now, isn’t it? She says, oh my God. Nikolas didn’t just take Ace. Spencer gave him away, didn’t he? He gave Nikolas her son. Spencer looks like dark Sonny all of a sudden.

Nina tells Willow, that night at the church was a turning point for her. She confessed her sins. She owned up to everything she was doing, and she realized she was blaming Carly for everything because Carly kept her daughters from her, but the important thing is, she’s going to stop blaming Carly. And she’s definitely going to stop beating herself up for her mistakes. Willow says, on the subject of beatings, Drew was almost beaten to death in prison, and Nina says she feels terrible about that. Willow says, that changes exactly nothing. Nina was desperate to hide what she did from Willow. That’s why she made her deal with Michael. Nina says, no. She agreed to Michael’s terms because, believe it or not, she wasn’t just thinking of herself; she was thinking about Michael. Willow says, oh please, and Nina says she knew that if Willow found out Michael was making a deal with her, that he was willing to blackmail her for the sake of Willow’s happiness, that Willow’s marriage, her family, might have to pay the price. She just wants Willow to be happy. She wants the kids to be happy. She loves Willow. Willow says, Nina may have convinced herself that she had these noble motives, but all she really ended up doing was hurting her and Michael and her children and their other grandmother and Drew, the man who saved her life. It’s enough. She wants nothing more to do with Nina.

Tracy scarfs down some snacks in the pantry and tells Ned that she doesn’t hear any yelling. She wishes she could be a fly on the wall. She comes out into the nook and asks Ned if he wants some carrots and hummus. He says, no. He does not want a carrot or hummus. Does she even care how Michael played fast and loose with her own son? She laughs and says she can’t believe it. After all these years, he still doesn’t get it. She doesn’t care about Michael. He asks if she’s sure, because a minute ago, Michael was the apple of her eye. She says she’s always pleased when a Quartermaine acts like a Quartermaine. And when Michael does it, it is a thing of beauty. The man knows what he wants, and he’s very practical about how he’s going to go and get it. Right now he’s a little distracted with the Nina thing, but at some point, he’s going to turn his attention back to the family business. Ned better be prepared.

Drew asks why Michael would stay silent and protect Nina, but Michael says he wasn’t protecting Nina. He was protecting his family from Nina. Carly asks when he found out, and he says, at the wedding. She says, he didn’t object? but he says, the ceremony was already over. They were already married, and Drew was already in prison. Drew says, that makes it okay not to tell them? and Michael says, the damage was already done. It wouldn’t have gotten Drew out of prison. The only thing exposing Nina would accomplish was hurting his dad and Willow. Drew says, maybe he could have told him and Carly, and they could have decided what needed to be done. Michael says he knows what kind of woman Nina is, the vindictiveness, the total disregard for other people. He had to limit his children’s exposure to them. He had to protect them. He had to protect Willow. Carly says, by keeping information from them, and Michael says he went to tell dad. When he went to Sonny, he was so happy, saying how much he appreciated them accepting Nina into the family, and he couldn’t go through with it. He couldn’t crush Sonny’s happiness. So he went to Nina and blackmailed her instead. Drew says, so Michael put Sonny’s happiness ahead of their friendship, but Michael says he doesn’t see it that way. Drew says, the way he sees it, they were partners, family. He trusted Michael. Michael’s mother trusted him and this is how Michael repays them?

After Dr. Sawyer leaves, Finn asks how Elizabeth did that. Never mind. He thanks her for getting Dr. Sawyer to stay. She really is much better with people than he is, obviously. What she said… that was very kind of her. She says, just calling it as she sees it, and he says he doesn’t think anyone’s ever spoken about him the way she did. She says, they do, just not in front of him, and he asks if they’re afraid it will go to his head. She says, he’d be insufferable, and he says, when she’s right, she’s right. She suggests he stick around and hear one or two more good things, and he says, only one or two? She says, don’t get greedy. She wonders why Mr. Muldoon never mentioned Dr. Sawyer, and Finn says, and the oncologist referral? And why he never followed up on any of the tests Finn recommended. She says she gets why Mrs. Muldoon didn’t say anything, and Finn says, maybe she didn’t know. She says, maybe, but that would mean he hid it from her as well, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Finn says, they have to find that oncologist, and she says, then that’s what they’ll do. He says, it’s right around the corner. The sooner, the better.

Esme says, Spencer is something else. He goes on and on about how rotten and selfish his father is, and it turns out he’s no better. He does what he wants, he takes what he wants, and to hell with everyone else. He says, it wasn’t easy, but she says she doesn’t care if it was easy for him or not; he did it. He says, yes, he did. Because he thinks Ace will have a happier life with his father than with the daughter of Ryan Chamberlain. She says, who cares whose daughter she is? Ace is her son, and he and his father are going back to prison where they belong. He says, speaking of prison, if she goes to the cops with this, he’ll tell them that she got her memory back, and they’ll hold her accountable for everything. She says, because she called him Spence, and he says, that’s right. After she broke into Windymere and revisited the scene of the crime. Definitely suspect behavior, doesn’t she think? Can she really afford to risk it? She leaves, slamming the door behind her.

Tracy says, Ned is all that she cares about, him and Dillon. Let’s face it. Dillon doesn’t really have a head for business. Then there’s Brook. She does have Quartermaine instincts, but she doesn’t have Quartermaine priorities. Tracy is working on her. Then there’s Leo. Ned says, what about Leo? and she says she doesn’t care whose blood he is. That boy is her grandson, and she adores him. He says, and the rest of us? and she says, you and yours, that’s all I care about. Above all else. Is she pleased Michael and Drew are at each other’s throats? Of course (🍷) she is. it strengthens their position. Because the only way you’ll come out on top is if you’re standing on everybody else. Right? He says, she’s got a point.

Willow says she and Nina have nothing more to say to each other – ever. She’s going to get back to work. Nina says she knows that she hurt Willow, but she’s never going to stop hoping Willow forgives her someday. Maybe they can start over as mother and daughter. Willow says, Nina can hope all she wants. She’s done. She opens the door, and Nina says she knows Willow means that now and maybe it’s the end of them, but she’ll always be here if Willow needs her. Always. Willow walks out without looking back.

Michael says, Drew has to understand. By the time he found out… Drew says he does understand. He understands Michael more than ever. He tells Carly, let’s go, but she says she needs to talk to her son. He says, okay, and leaves. Michael says, so, where do we go from here?

Tomorrow, Blaze wonders why it feels like Kristina started moving away; Cyrus asks what makes someone think they can trust him; Carly tells Michael, keeping things buried can have unintended consequences; and Drew tells Anna that he might be on to something.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

God help and forgive me. Help me get through this show and forgive my evil thoughts during it. And maybe for even watching it in the first place, at least after LVP left. I expect nasty from Erika, who gave up fighting with others for Lent in exchange for embarrassing them. Kyle and Dorit are both dimbulbs, although I have a margin of sympathy for Dorit’s PTSD and that dolt of a husband’s reaction to it. I’m honestly starting to wonder if the whole Kyle/Mauricio thing isn’t made up just to keep her relevant. He just seems stoned all the time and she looks like a bad actress. The cherry on the Hills cake though is Annemarie. WTF? over and over. She’s practically incoherent in her arguments and apparently doesn’t have the knowledge google gave her. Vent over. Moving on.

Kyle visits Sutton and snoops in her refrigerator. In Kyle’s interview, she says, Sutton not eating much makes sense after seeing what’s in her refrigerator. In Sutton’s interview, she says, had she known Kyle was going to be nosing around her refrigerator, she would have put more food in there. They discuss the Celebration of Life event the night before, and Sutton asks where Mauricio was. Kyle says, he’s in Mexico City, and in her interview, Sutton says, she’s not accepting that excuse. Unless you’re in the hospital or dead, you show up for your wife and your wife’s dead best friend’s family. Kyle says, he’ll be at the Homeless Not Toothless gala, and we flash back to them all murdering the name. Kyle says she wants them to have a home and teeth, and Sutton wonders why they can’t remember the name. She tells Kyle how Garcelle told her that Annemarie was coming for her last night. She likes Annemarie. Why is Annmarie coming for her? Kyle says, Sutton let Annemarie lick her armpit (yuk), and we flash back to things you can’t unsee. Sutton says, Annemarie needs to shut up about her esophagus, and in her interview, Kyle says she’s seen Sutton get in fights over ridiculous things. We flash back to the ugly leather pants debacle, and Kyle says, maybe she’s met her match. Sutton shows Kyle a picture of the house near Barcelona where they’ll be staying, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, it’s been a tumultuous few months. She wants them to take this trip to have fun and remember they love each other. She tells Kyle that she doesn’t want to invite the nurse/doctor. Annemarie owes her an apology. Kyle says she can’t disinvite Annemarie, and Sutton says she won’t, but Annemarie owes her an apology.  

Crystal calls Garcelle and asks what she thought of Kyle’s event. Garcelle says she thought it was beautiful, and Crystal says she was moved. She texted Kyle and said her friend would be grateful. Garcelle says, it was celebratory without being somber, yet it wasn’t such a party you forgot why you came. Crystal says, Annemarie forgot what the event was about. She implied Sutton had an eating disorder. We flash back to that, and Crystal wonders what Annemarie’s end game is. To shame Sutton? In Garcelle’s interview, she says, Sutton isn’t Annemarie’s patient and Annemarie just met her. Leave Sutton and her esophagus alone. Now she’s the esophagus police. Crystal says, Annemarie said she was a doctor when they met, and in Crystal’s interview, she says, they met at a holiday party. She said she was an anesthesiologist, not a nurse anesthetist. She wonders what else Annemarie is lying about. She tells Garcelle that she googled narrow esophagus and it’s very much a thing. Garcelle says, even in medicine, you can’t say something is true 100% of the time. Crystal says, the first thing that came up was that it’s genetic. Sutton said it ran in her family, so that’s good enough for her. In her interview, Crystal says, Annemarie told them that she couldn’t find anything on it, and it took her a minute to google it. Maybe she’s a doctor.

Dorit and PK go to check out the Hilton where the event is being held. In Dorit’s interview, she says, last year, there was a covid surge, so they had to postpone the gala. We flash back to the previous Homeless Not Toothless gala, and Dorit talks to security. PK tells her to trust her people, and in Dorit’s interview, she says she thinks the therapy session was beneficial. We flash back to Dorit telling PK what she needs from him, and in her interview, she says, he’s more present. He’s been listening more, and she feels more connected to him. She’s grateful for that. Dorit says, they’re expecting 400 people, and PK says, Paula Abdul and William H. Macy will be there, as well as a surprise they haven’t pulled off yet. He critiques the table décor, and says, it feels daytime. In her interview, Dorit says she loves that PK can say things she wouldn’t. Therapy didn’t solve all their problems, but it’s a good start. She’s hopeful that things are going to get better and better.

Crystal meets her brother Jeff for lunch and tells him about the trip to Ojai. She mentions Sutton licking Kyle’s toe, and Jeff wonders, what are they doing? He says, it was nice being back in Asia. He saw his ex, Vivi, and got some things off his chest. He’s wounded, but not mad. Vivi always felt like she wasn’t accepted by Crystal and their mom, and she’s not wrong. In Crystal’s interview, she says, Jeff’s girlfriends have always found her intimidating; she has a lot of strong opinions and expectations. She was trying to be protective, but realizes her approach was wrong. She tells Jeff that, being an only child, Vivi can’t understand, and Jeff says, true, but another woman in his life was always problematic for her and their mom. The woman in his life will have to accept they’re close, but so will Crystal and their mom. In her interview, Crystal says, she and her brother have always been close. When they were kids, people thought they were twins. When she met Rob, she was nervous that she would no longer be Jeff’s sister because she was a wife and mom, but things never changed. Jeff says he’s planning to spend more time in Asia. He’s going to spend half a year in Bangkok. He can do music or DJ. Crystal wonders if she pushed him too far, but he says he’s not trying to distance himself. He’s taking control of his life. In Crystal’s interview, she says she needs to accept her brother and what he wants, or it will create more of a wedge between them and she’ll lose him forever. Jeff says, their mom did a great job as a mom, and she did a great job as his sister. Their work is done. He makes his own decisions, and they need to trust they did a good job. Trust his judgement.

Everyone gets ready for the Homeless Not Toothless event, and the name is the gift that keeps on giving, since everyone is having lots of laughs over it. Rob is going to an event for The Brave Little Toaster, but he says he’ll meet Crystal later. On the way there, Mauricio asks Kyle about the Celebration of Life event, and she says, she wanted everyone to enjoy themselves, but still address the topic. In Kyle’s interview, she says, it would have meant something for Mauricio to show up, since he was close to Lorene also. We flash back to Lorene’s mother asking about him. She tells Mauricio that she’s going to be doing some traveling of her own. After the Barcelona trip, she’s going to Spain for work. In her interview, she says, he got a taste of his own medicine. She forgot tell him and he doesn’t get a heads up, so oops.

In Dorit’s interview, she says, everything is incredible. It’s exactly how she wanted, and she couldn’t have done it without PK. Erika runs into her dentist and he’s more flirtatious with her than I’d be comfortable with. In Kyle’s interview, she says, when she and Mauricio go to an event, there’s a lot of whispering and watching them. It feels strange. They’re analyzing every move and hand gesture. It’s very weird. Sutton arrives and tells the others that she has a magical esophagus. Don’t talk about her body behind her back. It’s not going to go well. They see Annemarie and call her over.

Annemarie introduces husband Marcellus, and when Sutton says, they’re talking now, she sends him to the bar. Sutton says, Annemarie picked the wrong person, but Annemarie won’t let her talk. Sutton says, excuse me, ma’am, and Annemarie tries to out ma’am her. In Erika’s interview, she says, you have to be careful. Where she’s from, this particular no ma’ am could get you slapped. Annemarie tells Sutton not to yell, when she’s not yelling, but when Sutton says she’s not, Annemarie calls her a liar. Annemarie tends to come in hot in a cartoonish way that’s very unattractive and awkward. She also keeps reminding everyone that she’s a board-certified nurse anesthetist. I’ve heard it four times in five seconds now. Sutton says she has a board-certified doctor, and knows what she has, even though Annemarie said she made it up. Annemarie says she didn’t, and Crystal says, she told them that Sutton lied. We flash back to Annemarie saying that, and Annemarie says she told them it was a potential lie. WTF is a potential lie? This woman is unreal. Everything she gets caught on, she changes around. She accuses Crystal of saying Sutton had an eating disorder, and Crystal asks if she’s out of her mind. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, they haven’t even gotten in the ballroom yet and they’re going at it. People are looking at them. It’s like they’re at the zoo looking at animals and they’re the animals. Sutton says, it was inappropriate to bring it up at Kyle’s event, and once again, Annemarie acts like she did no such thing. Crystal says, Annemarie literally talked two hours about it. She and Garcelle had to leave; it was so annoying. We flash back to the multiple times Annemarie discussed it with various groups of women, and Annemarie says, she was trained to be a critical thinker. Maybe Crystal would understand if she’d gone to med school. Crystal says, Annemarie didn’t go to med school, and Annemarie says, Crystal keeps downplaying her profession. Crystal says, she’s such a bitch, and in Annemarie’s interview, she says, Crystal said she wanted to go to med school – we flash back to that – but her husband wouldn’t have waited. She thinks Crystal resents her being in the medical profession. Crystal is taking out what she didn’t get to do on her. Annemarie says she apologizes for being concerned, and in Sutton’s interview, she says she appreciates Annemarie’s non-apology apology. She’ll take it because she doesn’t want to talk about her esophagus anymore.

Kyle tells Dorit that Annemarie and Sutton were arguing. It was heated, worked up, and elevated. Garcelle joins them, and Kyle says she never saw Crystal like that. She never knew Crystal had it in her. In Kyle’s interview, she says, they’ve wanted Crystal to find her voice, but screaming someone’s a bitch at a black-tie event wasn’t exactly what they were talking about. The women look at the stuff up for silent auction, and Dorit makes sure Sutton isn’t sitting by Annemarie. This teeny tiny old woman all in pink – who not surprisingly goes by the name of Pink Lady – says she appreciates Erika, who’s in Barbiecore, and they take photos. As they sit down at the table, Mauricio says he hears Sutton has an esophagus problem, and in her interview, Sutton says, if Mauricio can come to this, but not to the Celebration of Life event for his wife, that’s messed up. Dorit is introduced and she introduces Paula Abdul, who introduces Taylor Dayne. Taylor sings Tell It to My Heart, Erika sings along with her, and everyone acts stupid, getting up, waving, and hooting. This is really irritating since it’s a gala, not a concert. Afterwards, Sutton tells the women that they’ve got to stop this. Garcelle asks what they do, and Sutton says she likes Annemarie, but she didn’t like Annemarie going behind her back. Annemarie – who apparently cannot admit when she’s wrong – says she already explained. Dorit suggests they go home and take a deep breath. Kyle says, they want only positive energy when they go to Spain.

Everyone packs for Barcelona, and Kyle calls Sutton. She asks what the vibe is, and Sutton says, it’s an old city with cobblestone streets. Kyle says, it won’t stop the women from wearing high heels. Barcelona is not ready for them. Sutton says, there’s angst that needs to be worked out. Kyle’s mission is to tell Annemarie not to talk at them. In Kyle’s interview, she says, the fact that she has to mediate the fight about Sutton’s esophagus at this point is upsetting. But she feels like since she brought Annemarie into the group, she should fix things and play peacemaker. Annemarie calls Kyle and says she’s had time to think and reflect. She feels ridiculous and horrible. Kyle says, it was a lot, and for her to say it’s a lot says a lot. Crystal calls Erika, who says, ooh, Crystal called Annemarie a bitch. Crystal says, Annemarie was calling out Sutton for yelling when she was the one yelling. It didn’t make sense. Erika says, people communicate under stress in different ways. Thank God it wasn’t about her. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, Annemarie wants to be right because it’s a medical thing. Kyle tells Annemarie, maybe Spain will be the magic touch, and in her interview, she says, if they can get past their issues, they can have a fun, bonding experience. She’s not holding her breath. Annemarie says, Crystal owes her an apology for mocking her profession, and in her interview, she says she’s proud to be a nurse anesthetist. It’s difficult and challenging. Erika says she’ll be the referee and bring a whistle, and Crystal says, Annemarie might not talk to her. That’s even better. In Erika’s interview, she says, therapy works. It’s expensive, but it works. Kyle tells Annemarie that they don’t want to have these conversations on the plane. They don’t want to be kicked off. Annemarie says she wants to go in happy, positive, and looking forward to the trip.

Annemarie calls Sutton and says she’s coming with her heart in her hands. She’s sorry for her part in everything that happened. Sutton says, her part? and in Sutton’s interview, she says, how about her part being the only part? No ma’am. Annemarie says she’s sorry she pried into something Sutton didn’t want to talk about, but Sutton says she’ll talk about her esophagus all day. Annemarie says she’s sorry she talked… Sutton says, behind her back. She wants Annemarie to come on the trip and she’s looking forward to working it out. Annemarie says she did lick Sutton’s armpit. How many friends can she say that about? (Jeff is right. What are they doing?)

24 hours later. Flashes into the future. Annemarie says, when she met Crystal, Crystal said the women were not intelligent and shallow… Annemarie tells Crystal to bring it down a notch, which doesn’t go over big… Annemarie tells Crystal, thanks for giving her something to talk about and making Crystal’s ass relevant… Sutton says, don’t make the little people come out.

I must admit I’m intrigued about that last one.

To be continued…

❄️ Savoring the Snowflakes…

Hop aboard tomorrow for soap and a Reunion lacking Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay replacing something you borrowed if you broke it or lost it, and stay remembering, therapy is expensive, but it works.