Tag Archives: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Jan6

January 5, 2016 — GH’s Endless New Year, New Haves & Nots & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Anna has a meeting with someone named Gallagher who she thinks can help her prove Paul killed Sloane. Jordan tells her he’s on a leave of absence.

Paul asks Jordan if she’s seen Anna because she hasn’t checked in. Jordan says Anna has a lot on her mind and tells Paul about Robin.

Michael and Sonny are at the hospital. Since Sonny is feeling sensation in his legs, they’re both pretty cheerful. For once. Oh wait, Sonny just asked Michael what’s wrong because something has to be.

Felix and Sabrrrina are having hot chocolate outside. She says she misses Michael. Why?

Patrick brings in “Sonny’s favorite doctor,” Robin. Hugs and hellos.

Julian, Alexis and the girls are out for breakfast. Christina tells them that Sam and Jason are getting back together, but Sam says she’s exaggerating, that it was only a game of pool and then Jason left.

Jason is having an animated dream. Elizabeth is about to wake him, and he roughly grabs her arm.

Christina says she’s cheering on Jason and Sam. Sam says there’s nothing to cheer on. Anna stops by the table and asks Alexis if congratulations are in order. She asks when the big day is, and Alexis says they haven’t decided. Anna says she has the perfect present, arresting Julian, and Julian says for the thousandth time, he’s no longer involved in importing coffee organized crime. Anna is certainly snarky today.

Robin congratulates Sonny on his new grandchild and marrying Carly…again. She and Patrick make googly eyes at each other.

Jason apologizes and Elizabeth says she shouldn’t have startled him. He asks what he was saying in his sleep and she says it was just gibberish. He can’t remember what he was dreaming about. Elizabeth says he should go back to whatever he was doing when she so rudely interrupted him. Well, it’s a little too late to go back to midnight on New Year’s Eve.

Sonny asks about Robin’s health and she says she’s doing well, and that Helena had taken good care of her in that way. She says when Jerry took over, it was a different story, but he’s in prison now. Sonny wants to totally get rid of him, but Robin says that as a doctor, she has to go by the Hippocratic Oath and do no harm. She has an appointment, but promises to catch up with him later. Patrick asks Sonny what’s up, and Sonny tells him that he moved his leg.

Robin enters Obrecht’s office. She asks if it’s a good time, and Obrecht gives her a laundry list of why nothing is ever a good time, but says we do what we must. Robin explains what had happened to her on Cassadine Island and says she’s there to get her job back.

Jordan tells Paul she’s the commissioner not his secretary. Paul compliments her on getting rid of Julian and how organized crime seems to be at a standstill in Port Charles. He leaves and Anna comes in. Didn’t he see her?

Julian says Anna is projecting her problems onto him. Sam says Carrrlos was named as Sonny’s shooter, so Julian should be off the hook. Alexis has had so much going on, she forgot to cancel the open house for Sam’s apartment, which she needs back now. Julian volunteers to go.

Sabrrrina says she messed up and owns it, but she still wants Michael and that Carrrlos is in no position to be a father. Felix agrees, since Carrrlos is supposed to be dead. Suddenly, Sabrrrina feels contractions.

Jason asks how Jake is doing. Elizabeth says he seems fine and she’s sorry for bugging him. Jason says he’s Jake’s father and he’ll be there if Jake needs him. He says he thinks there might be an easier way though and that he’d like to draw up some kind of agreement regarding Jake.

Julian goes to Sam’s apartment and blows off the prospective buyers. Paul comes through the door and is startled that Julian is there. Julian says the apartment isn’t for sale anymore, but Paul says he’ll pay above asking price. Julian says he could put in a good word for Paul, but he wants a favor – call off Anna.

Jordan says apparently Anna is running her own investigation and that she thinks Anna believes Carrrlos didn’t shoot Sonny. Anna says it’s more complex than Jordan realizes and tells her she thinks Carrrlos is still alive.

Sonny wants to discuss Sabrrrina with Michael. Michael says he was going to wait until after the holidays (is it still New Year’s Day there?) to tell him, but he and Sabrrrina broke up. He starts to tell Sonny that Carrrlos is the baby’s father, but is interrupted by noise in the hallway. It’s Sabrrrina coming through in a wheelchair with a small entourage.

Molly says she’s moving into the dorm, and Sam turns it around to make it sound like she’s punishing Alexis. Alexis says if Molly wants to live in the dorm she’s behind her maybe not 100%, but at least 99%.

Julian says that Anna still thinks he had something to do with Duke’s death. He says she made it sound like he’s still being investigated. Paul says the case on him was closed a while ago, and Julian says Anna didn’t get the memo.

Anna tells Jordan that she saw Carrrlos. She says the first two times, she thought it was a hallucination, but then she found the St. Christopher medal with Carrrlos’s DNA on it. Jordan says maybe he lost it before he died and that there was a body. Anna says yes, there was a body, but not necessarily Carrrlos’s.

Michael tells Sonny about Sabrrrina. Sonny tells him to go to her. He says he can’t and doesn’t want to give Sabrrrina hope. He says the baby isn’t the problem between them, it’s the lies.

Patrick comes to Obrecht’s office. Obrecht says they’d love to have Robin back, but she’d have to take a cut in pay. She says the board can also no longer afford research, and that Robin would have to get her own funding for that. GoFundMe, anyone? Patrick is all aghast at this information, but doesn’t he work there? Wouldn’t he know this already?

Outside in the hall, Patrick asks Robin what she thinks. He says she should do what she thinks is right. Robin says go big or go home, but I’m not sure what she means by that.

Michael asks Felix how Sabrrrina and the baby are, and Felix says Michael should go check for himself.

Jordan says assuming she believes Anna, whose body was it? Anna says she doesn’t know, but the body has been cremated, so there’s no chance for an autopsy redo. She also gives Jordan some other particulars. Jordan says Julian didn’t have the means to manipulate test results. Anna says he could pay someone who does. Jordan says that means there must be a mole at the PCPD and Anna says, yep.

Paul tells Julian not to worry, that the case is closed and he’ll tell Anna to leave him alone.

Sam wants to jet because it’s her apartment and Julian shouldn’t have to field the buyers. Molly follows her outside and Sam apologizes. Molly says she’s with Christina in believing that Sam and Jason will get back together.

Jason tells Elizabeth he’s not trying to take Jake away, but he wants an arrangement where he has actual legal responsibility. He says a formal agreement that will keep misunderstandings from happening and show Jake that he wants to be part of his life. Elizabeth says she’ll speak to Alexis. She says she didn’t want Jake to be shuttled between two homes and Jason says that’s not what he wants either. He says he’ll call her after he talks to Diane. Elizabeth asks him to stay for breakfast, but he says he has a lot to do and he’ll talk to her later.

Anna says Gallagher was concerned enough to collect his own evidence, and she finds it suspicious that he’s suddenly away on leave. Jordan wants to know who she thinks the mole is. Anna says all she knows is that Carrrlos is alive and he must have had help. Jordan says it could have come from outside the PCPD and suggests Sabrrrina.

Michael asks Sabrrrina if she needs anything, but she says that he doesn’t need to worry about her or the baby.

Anna says Sabrrrina won’t cooperate anyway, so there’s no point in focusing on her. She and Jordan begin to hatch a plan.

Sam relieves Julian of apartment duty, and Jason shows up.

Molly says she felt bad about asking TJ to wait, but now that she sees what sex does to people, she never wants it. Alexis says it’s fine when you’re responsible. Molly says what if the person you trusted isn’t trustworthy and hurts you? What are you supposed to do, start over? She asks what if something happens to the person. She says if you take sex out of the relationship, it’s easier. Alexis says she shouldn’t shut herself off from it and she feels like Molly’s thoughts have been colored by her mistakes. Alexis says, without it, they wouldn’t have been born so in the long run, it was worth it.

Michael tells Sonny that Sabrrrina told him not to worry and he can’t force her to take his help. Patrick comes in and says he ordered some tests but Sonny will have to find a new doctor, because he and Robin are moving.

Tomorrow, Jason has a memory about Sam and Maxie is shocked by…something.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, Candice’s bank account had been cleaned out; Hanna’s house had burned down; Oscar wasn’t who he seemed to be; Wyatt and Jeffrey were at the tow yard to get the infamous car, but saw Benny making it with Veronica in the office; Jim wanted everyone dead and was still running for governor; David also wanted to run for governor; and the most of the cast was arrested. Oh, and Jeffrey killed Quincy. Maybe.

Yep, he’s dead. Jeffrey starts to leave and Candace pulls him back. There’s blood everywhere. Now what? Although since Quincy was a violent maniac, I’m not sure this will be a total problem. Candace shoves a drink down Jeffrey’s throat to get him to calm down. Man, that’s going to be some clean-up job. Candace tells Jeffrey to sit down and drink while she thinks. Instead, Jeffrey sits down and dials the police.

Candace snatches the phone away. It starts to ring and Candace puts it into the garbage disposal. She says the police could trace the signal. She says if they call the police, they’ll l get arrested. Jeffrey says it was self defense, but Candace says it won’t be seen that way. She says she knows how prosecutors work and it will be considered overkill because they stabbed him multiple times, and the charge will be murder.

Jeffrey wants to call his father, but Candace says they can’t tell anyone. She says Jim will make sure the DA screws them big time, and even if he doesn’t, Veronica will. Jeffrey has to agree with that one. Candace tells Jeffrey to sit down and drink again. This time he complies.

Veronica has to hand over her wig while being processed, and reveals cornrows. She and Kathryn have to hand over their jewelry, shoes and “anything that can be used as a weapon,” including Kathryn’s girdle. I can’t believe she still wears a girdle and not Spanx. Veronica says they may have to stay all weekend, since all the judges are gone.

Jim and David are getting the same treatment, except it’s belts and shoestrings, and neither one of them is wearing a girdle.

The DA wants them to be in the same cells, separating the men and women, and tells the guard to delay their phone calls as long as possible. She calls Jeffrey and leaves a message that she’s meeting with Wyatt, who has worked out a deal for him.

Maggie’s assistant, Landon, asks if she knew about everything. She says she knew about the car and Wyatt’s hit and run. Landon tells her it’s over, but she doesn’t think so for David. She gives Landon a spin for the press from “an inside source,” pointing the finger at Jim totally. She gives a little of the finger to Veronica, and tells Landon to say she was in on it with Jim. She has a photo of Veronica with Benny and tells him to send it with the story. Landon says they’ll come after her, but Maggie says she’s not afraid. He asks if she’s sleeping with David. She says no, she just believes in him. She says she’s attracted to him, but she’s not doing anything with him. She says he’s a good man who deserves a good woman and it’s her. Landon says ahem, what about this story you’re leaking? She tells him not to judge her and she’s saving David. Landon asks if it’s from the situation or his marriage. Maggie says both. Landon says they covered up a murder for their son, and now the Cryers are going to come after her. She tells him just plant the story.

She makes a call to the Attorney General, leaving a message that she needs a favor.

Jennifer, the DA, meets with Wyatt. He tries to get Jeffrey on the phone, but no luck. He asks when his parents will be sprung and Jennifer says after the weekend. Wyatt says his parents are going to kill him and that he’s always been just an inconvenience. Jennfer wants to get him to a safe house, but he doesn’t want to go. He says he has an inheritance from his grandfather, but because of his substance abuse, it’s in a trust. Jennifer says if she can have backup paperwork that he’s clean, she thinks she can get his money for him. She says she’ll work as fast as she can and asks Wyatt to stay calm and keep trying to track Jeffrey down.

David is pissed at Jim for what Wyatt has done. Jim says he had it handled until Veronica had Wyatt hurt in prison. He adds David must have known since he warned him. David says he just had a feeling and he knows who he married. Jim runs down a list of things Veronica has done, like burning down the house with David in it, and says she’s crazy as a loon. David says he loves Veronica, and if anything happens to her, his rage will be felt. Jim says he’s like a 5-year-old who’s still breastfeeding. David says Jim can’t comprehend loving a woman from the heart. Jim says he’s right, he’s only felt love from a lower place.

David talks about Jim’s daughter, Amanda. Jim says love is even stronger in death. David says again that if he hurts Veronica, he’ll be Jim’s worst nightmare. David tells Jim to call it off, and Jim says, call what off? David says he’s been warned.

Benny calls Hanna, who is staying in a hotel with her grandson, Quincy Jr. He says he’s sorry, but she says she can’t even hear it right now. Hanna says Candace lies when the truth will do and Benny kept trusting her. Benny asks where she is and tells her he talked to a lawyer. She says what lawyer and when he tells her it’s Veronica, she gets pretty angry. Benny says the deeds to the house and tow yard are legit. Hanna says that still doesn’t tell them where Candace got the money from. Benny says he can make the tow yard work, and no matter how it was paid for, it can be a good thing. Hanna says the foundation of a thing determines how well it will hold up. She says Candace keeps getting dragged back into the darkness and as long as Benny believes in her, he can’t believe in anything higher. Benny says regardless, he can make enough to pay the bills. Hanna says she’s staying in a hotel, and she can survive. He says she’s struggled for so long, she rejects not struggling. She says if she hasn’t earned something, she doesn’t want it. Benny says what about her grandson and that the social worker will have him put into foster care if she can’t provide for him. Hanna says the house is evil, but Benny says they can turn things around. Hanna says good-by.

Candace starts to clean up the mess. Where is The Wolf when you need him?  She needs to wrap the body in garbage bags and tries to enlist Jeffrey’s help. He won’t do it, but she can’t even budge Quincy by herself. Jeffrey almost helps, but instead walks away and starts to strip down for a shower. He is totally freaking and Candace tells him it’s okay, she’ll handle things. He is totally useless here. Candace helps him into the shower.

Under the couch, Quincy’s phone lights up as some girl is trying to call him. She seems annoyed that he’s not picking up.

Veronica asks Kathryn if she has anything of value on her that wasn’t taken. Kathryn says no, so Veronica says to shake her hand so that she’ll be her attorney and they can talk in confidence. Kathryn then tells her about Wyatt to confessing to the accident. Kathryn says Veronica will be in trouble for hiding the car. Veronica says no, because she’s Jeffrey’s attorney too.

Candace is all cleaned up. Jeffrey comes out of the shower. He sees police lights outside. Candace tells him to chill. There’s a knock at the door.

Next time, everyone is still in jail and Quincy’s body is still lying on the floor.

Major News

The People’s Couch is moving to Fridays, starting January 15. I love that show so much. Hopefully, it never becomes a conflict with Z Nation.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is packing for a trip. Kyle asks Portia if she can get away with a light pink dress at a white party. While Portia says yes, I vote no. I can see that it’s pink. Kyle says LisaV’s closet could eat her closet for breakfast. Ha-ha! She’s not very organized, that’s for sure.

LisaR travels once a month for QVC. She wipes down the hotel room with alcohol wipes. After seeing Gordon Ramsey’s Hotel Hell show, I can understand this.

Erika is walking the grounds with an assistant who is making notes. The property is five acres, and I agree, it’s a lot. Our property is a fraction of that and I wish I had an assistant. Erika is packing for two trips – to Chicago as Erika Jayne and the Hamptons as Erika Girardi.

Erika talks to her designer about how Yolanda’s illness had come up. Erika isn’t happy about the less than supportive remarks. She says friends should show more compassion. I agree. I think most of the time, this group comes from a good place, but sometimes there’s no tact whatsoever. Lots of fashion talk follows.

Giggy! And other cute Pom! LisaV is getting ready for the party in the Hamptons. She and Ken talk about Kim’s arrest for shoplifting. Lisa is mystified as to why things weren’t handled differently since Kim is clearly disturbed. Lisa calls Kyle, who is distraught. She asks if Kyle has talked to Kim, and Kyle isn’t up to talking about it. Lisa wonders if Kim was on medication, and Kyle says she’ll talk to her later. Afterwards, Lisa says she feels depressed just thinking about it, and I think that’s the first time I’ve heard her say something like that.

Vince wants to know how much one of Eileen’s dresses is ($500), and he criticizes her spending, but she says she buys her own clothes and makes her own money. She also doesn’t stick her nose in his spending. Fair enough. When he asks about the shoes, she says don’t even.

Ten years ago, Yolanda ruptured a breast implant, and the replacements leaked ten years after. She says they haven’t defined her as a woman, which is good to hear, but why get them in the first place then? She’s going to Ohio for the surgery, as this surgeon is particularly experienced with this operation. David acts supportive in the car on the way to the airport.

Erika and her husband are at a fancy restaurant. Tom was going to join her in Chicago, but he has a meeting when she’s going to the Hamptons. They have two planes, a small one for regional travel and a large one for longer flights. Tom has to leave, but Erika gets a humongous piece of chocolate cake. Erika says she wants to eat like the other women in Beverly Hills, but she can’t. I don’t see as this has hurt her any though.

Erika calls LisaV. She says she was invited to the Hamptons, but doesn’t want to horn in on the Bella party. Lisa says don’t be silly and they verbally spar a little. Erika calls Lisa “Diva,” and Lisa says she’s right.

LisaR is in Philly. QVC had come to her late store,“gotten the vibe” and wanted to carry her line. She says she can make as much in an hour as she did in a year with the store. A guy named Dennis, who designed the gowns for Nicky Hilton’s wedding, comes in to the makeup room and talks for a while with Lisa. And here comes Isaac Mizrahi. It’s like Old Home Week. Isaac and Lisa chat.

Yolanda is in Cleveland. It does make sense that she’s having surgery done there. It’s the home of many great doctors. Yolanda says she feels like a soldier going into battle. Yolanda calls Gigi, who’s in Australia and was sleeping. David says he’ll text her later. Yolanda says this won’t cure her Lyme disease, but it will boost her immune system. Well, of course. This has to be a huge contributor to her problem. She and David say good-by and she’s wheeled into surgery.

LisaR says she loves being a saleswoman and she thinks her honesty comes across. Her stuff is pretty nice. Lisa’s sweaters sell out and she says she must have been a hustler in another life.

Yolanda has surgery. From the discussion among the medical staff, it sounds like there’s a mess of silicone in there.

Giggy! LisaV, Ken and the sweetest pup in the world, except for my own, get in a helicopter and head for South Hampton. Bella magazine has arranged for everyone to stay in the same hotel. Kyle says she’s moving to a quieter place though. There’s a party outside the door and base sounds were happening at 9 a.m. Mauricio finds her a house to rent and Eileen comes along. They both wonder how LisaV is going to take it.

Giggy is on the cover of the magazine too. Lisa talks sweet talk to him in the limo.

The surgeon tells David things went well. She says that it was pretty bad and Yolanda was riddled with silicone. Yolanda is barely awake and wants to see David. He tells her everything is going to be fine. Yeah, until he files for divorce.

Giggy! LisaV and Ken check in to the hotel. The desk clerk gives her a note from Kyle. Aww! The tiny Gigster goes up one stop on his own. Lisa also gets a nice welcome basket. Ken wastes no time digging into some chocolates. Lisa reads the note that says they’ve moved to the rental house. Lisa calls Eileen, who explains why they had to leave and tells Lisa to join them. Lisa tells her she can’t leave, since it’s been set up for her. They agree to talk later at the party. Lisa is a little pissed off, and I can see why. They really could have waited an hour or whatever.

LisaR goes to the rental house. She’s come straight from the QVC gig, so she’s pretty wiped out. She agrees that the hotel would have been a bad deal sleepwise.

The cocktail party is fabulous and LisaV’s face is even on the cupcakes. Lisa mingles among the guests and takes pictures. The rest of the ladies are on their way in a limo. LisaR says when she heard too loud and no food (there was also no room service), she was in on the house rather than the hotel.

LisaV is a little upset about the ladies leaving before she even got there. She said she’d wanted to party with them. Eileen says they all flew on the red eye and were exhausted, and Kyle says she’s probably jealous since they can sleep. LisaV brings up Kim’s arrest and Kyle gets extremely bristly.

Next week, Bethenny makes an appearance, and LisaR and Eileen meet Erika.

Dec30

December 29, 2015 — PC NYE & the Hills of Beverly

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sonny tells Dante that he’s grateful to Kiki for getting Avery to him for a Christmas visit. Meanwhile, Morgan, who is at the MetroCourt, asks Kiki to join him. She says since she’s working, that wouldn’t be very professional.

Nicholas tells Hayden that if he shows mercy to Jason, Jason could be in his debt. Hayden says she saw him go over the railing and thought he was dead. Nicholas flirts with her a little. I have news for him, I don’t think Jason would ever feel like he’s in Nicholas’s debt.

Maxie shows up at Patrick’s to see Robin. Patrick says she’s not there, and Maxie tells him he’s nuts for losing sight of her.

Jason tells Robin that even though she’s like a stranger to him, he owes her his life. She says ditto. She gives him the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of what happened to her. She tells him he’s the reason she has a life to come back to.

Hayden says she missed Nicholas, for the obvious reasons, that he takes care of her, but she missed his company as well. Geez, it’s not like he’s been there that long. She says she missed the dance they do with each other. He says maybe they should stop dancing and start trusting. Yeah, that’s the ticket. You do that.

Kiki tells Morgan that hating her mom wasn’t getting her anywhere, so she’s decided to move on. She’s not forgiving or forgetting, but she’s willing to tolerate Ava for Avery’s sake.

Dante is under the impression that Sonny made up with Ava, but Sonny says she’s even more dangerous now. He tells Dante that he needs to decide where he stands with Lulu.

Lulu tells Johnny that she and Dante made an effort to get along on Christmas for Rocco’s sake. She thinks once Valerie is out of the picture, they’ll have a chance. Johnny says he’d be remiss if he didn’t tell her he thinks she’s making a mistake.

Sonny tells Dante if he put half the effort into getting Lulu back that he does in justifying why he shouldn’t, everything would be different. Sonny says that because Dante screwed up, he thinks that’s that and isn’t even trying to fix things. Yep. Lazy. Moving on to the next one is just so much easier.

Jordan tells Valerie that she has a New Year’s date with someone she met at a law enforcement convention. She likes that he understands her job, but they don’t work together. She tells Valerie that she’s lucky her dalliance with Dante didn’t ruin her career.

Dante comes to the hospital to question Nicholas and Hayden. Hayden doesn’t want to leave Nicholas and Dante asks if that’s because she’s afraid their stories won’t match.

Jason says he wanted to get away to think and that he likes the view of the city. Robin says the bridge is important to her because that’s where they fell in love.

Paul is having a drink and texting Raj about the next transaction. Raj says they’ll talk soon. Dillon appears and says he and Paul need to talk and how could he screw over Tracy again. Dillon says he’s spent all this time regaining Tracy’s trust and then caused her to mistrust him all over again. Paul says he wasn’t being unfaithful as he and Tracy had no plans for the future. Dillon says he played the both of them.

Dante questions Nicholas. Hayden watches from the hall wondering what they’re saying. Curtis calls Hayden and says he’s found a match for the bullet.

Sonny tells Max he’s expecting a call that should shed light on some things.

Patrick tells Maxie that Robin was coerced into leaving him and Emma, and he doesn’t want to push anything. Maxie doesn’t understand why they don’t just get back together.

Robin tells Jason about Stone dying from AIDS and how he wanted to bungee jump off the bridge. She says after he passed away, she found out she was HIV positive. Back then it was a death sentence and she would come to the bridge thinking about the future she was never going to have. She says one day Jason showed up, and after he’d had an accident, he was a changed man. Jason says he’s changed again and wishes people would accept it. Robin tells him his friends aren’t the sit and wait type and they just want their old Jason back. He says what she’s telling him is a story, but not a memory. She says he’s back where he started, without a past, but not she has a future because of him.

Robin says she was lucky because her family and friends were so supportive. She says there was a lot of pressure to be positive all the time, but with him it was different. She could tell him everything. Jason asks her to tell him more. Robin says she was offered a meds cocktail. She would have to take 30 pills a day and she wasn’t sure if she wanted that kind of commitment without knowing if it would work. She says Jason told her he would be supportive no matter what, but that her life was important and she should fight for that. She says everything she’s done since then wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t helped her make that decision.

Patrick says he’s already lost Robin twice and doesn’t want to again. Maxie says if Robin gets hit by a bus, he’s going to be sorry he didn’t do everything possible to keep them together. I swear, the men of Port Charles are lazier than the ones IRL.

Curtis makes small talk with a cop while he gives back the gun evidence. He tells him that his gratuity will be at The Floating Rib tonight. Curtis sees Jordan and says his job was a success. She says good, he can leave now, and he says no chance of that.

Dante asks Hayden who threw the first punch. She says everything is a jumble now, but when things become clear, she’ll contact the police. She goes in to see Nicholas.

Lulu says she doesn’t want a lecture on how Dante isn’t good enough for her. Johnny says he just thinks she can do better. She says, with who? You? And he says, why not?

Paul tells Dillon in retrospect it was probably a bad idea to get close to Tracy, but he thought they could be a family again. Dillon says they weren’t a family to begin with. Paul says he really wanted to connect with Dillon. Dillon says he’s done fine without Paul all these years, and he can do fine again. Paul says he hopes Dillon changes his mind.

Morgan hears Sonny talking in Spanish on the phone, and telling Max that Raj has a shipment coming that they’re going to shut down.

Curtis tells Jordan that he can understand what she likes about Port Charles. He says no one would have suspected how well she was going to do, and that Jordan is going to play a big part in his future.

Valerie sees Dante and says she has a present for him and asks if they can meet later. He tells her that he saw Lulu over the holidays and things are better.

Johnny reminds Lulu that they once loved each other. She says it was a long time ago and their lives took different paths. Johnny says look what going for the good, stable guy got her. She says Rocco is her reason for everything.

Robin says Jason was a good guy and she thinks he still is. He says he doesn’t think so, but his friends keep coming back. He asks what happened between them. Robin says his loyalty to Sonny stopped them from being together. Jason says he must have been an idiot, but Robin tells him he was just being true to himself. She says she went to Paris and he wished her well. He says he’s glad his wishes for her came true. She says he was reckless and fearless and no one thought he’d live past 30, except she believed he had a future and she still does. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves.

Dante, being the moron he is, tells Valerie he still has feelings for her. She says she’s ending things for both their sakes. She says it’s only hurting both of them and she doesn’t want to jeopardize her career either.

Lulu says if there was no Rocco, she would throw down with Valerie herself, but she has to make mom choices.

Morgan hears Sonny giving details about the pier Raj is going to be at later.

Maxie tells Dillon he might change his mind in the future. She says he’s changed, so there’s always a possibility. She asks him to come with her to meet Georgie, who is probably in college by now.

Hayden tells Nicholas what she told Dante. He says it took a tragedy for them to get to a better place in their relationship. He asks if it’s New Year’s Eve tonight, and she says yes, but he’s not going anywhere. He says he wants to kiss her at midnight and she says let’s have a preview now.

Jason, still on the bridge, remembers talking to Robin years ago.

Robin gets back to Patrick’s and he tells her she just missed Maxie. He says Maxie also gave him an earful and they talked about the future. Robin says she saw Jason, and they also talked about the future. She and Patrick gaze lovingly at each other.

Tomorrow, some Franco and some New Year’s Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio told LisaR to go to Kyle’s store, pick out what she wants and send him the bill for her birthday gift. How do I get on that list? Lisa says she had a store at one point, but it became a liability after being robbed three times in six weeks. (!) Kyle says that her store is doing so well, they’re doing a pop-up shop in South Hampton and they discuss a field trip. Lisa picks out a trendy Moto jacket as her gift. Side note: Rich people always have the best sunglasses.

LisaV’s swan, Hanky, has a stomach infection and needs to go to the vet. She’s afraid he’s not going to make it. She has an event, a white party for Bella magazine, to attend and wants to make sure the swan is fine before she leaves. Swans are kind of nasty and Hanky is no exception. Yep. He drew blood on Ken and Lisa.

LisaV says animals are like children because they depend on you and that makes her love them even more. The vet says Hanky isn’t out of the woods yet, but he’s improving.

Yolanda introduces Erika to Kyle. The three ladies are walking in the park. Kyle asks about Yolanda’s trip to Canada. She saw the pictures on Instagram and says it’s a huge difference between those and the sick Yolanda. She’s decided to keep LisaR’s theories to herself. Kyle says she had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia after her mother died, but a lot of it was due to depression. In her individual interview, Yolanda talks about Lyme disease being a whole lot of things at once. She tells Kyle that you can’t judge someone by how they look and that is so true.

Erika tells Kyle she’s a show girl. She also has a son who’s a cop. She says her ex is a great guy, but it just didn’t work out. Yolanda suggests they go for a drink to introduce Erika to the other women. Erika says she only hangs out with gay men, except for a few exceptional women like Yolanda.

The doctors found silicone in Yolanda’s lymph nodes, so she’s going to Ohio to have her breast implants and whatever is floating around in her removed. I’m wondering if this isn’t the basis of her problem. She also says she breast fed and two of her children have Lyme disease and compromised immune systems. Kyle thinks this is odd, but Yolanda says they grew up on a ranch and in the barn and riding horses. Yolanda adds that there are no studies on how Botox affects the brain, so no more for her. Erika and Kyle balk at this, but Yolanda and I are in agreement here. One day they’re going to find out that all these implants and injections shorten life.

Lisa is getting a wax at home, since she’s going to be in a bathing suit soon. There’s a lot of personal talk between her and the…waxist (?) that doesn’t bear repeating here.

LisaV and Kyle are going to tour the studio at The Young and the Restless. I got to go to a taping of One Life to Live once, and it was a blast. Lisa keeps joking about wanting Eileen’s part and Eileen says it’s like All About Eve, one of my favorite movies. They check out wardrobe first and Eileen asks them to help her run lines. They try using the vending machine for a snack and have about as much luck as the rest of us trying to get it to take a dollar.

In Eileen’s very cool private space, Kyle brings up meeting Erika and they talk about going out for drinks. They also talk about Yolanda. LisaV says she didn’t like the conversation LisaR started about Munchausen’s Syndrome. Eileen says LisaR isn’t malicious and Yolanda must know people are talking. She’s of a mind that LisaR should bring it up before someone else does.

Yolanda introduces Erika to LisaV, who’s the first to arrive at this gorgeous outdoor area of some restaurant. The color scheme is amazing greens and blues. In her individual interview, Lisa says Erika looks like a Barbie she used to have. This isn’t a mean remark at all and she’s kind of right. Kyle joins them next. They pass around a Cartier ring of Erika’s that has a price tag of $189k. Kyle says it’s like wearing a Lamborghini on your finger. LisaV asks what Erika did for it, and Erika says what every woman does and she’s good. Wink, wink. Kyle says Erika might give Lisa a run for her money.

They talk about Yolanda’s children having Lyme’s disease. LisaV says this is the first time she’s heard about it. Yolanda says she doesn’t normally talk about it, but she’s made it her life’s mission to find a cure. Kyle says all the talk about Lyme disease is making her think she has it. I know this feeling. I had a hard time watching Quincy without thinking I had every rare disease described on the show.

Eileen arrives next. Kyle tells Eileen that Yolanda is leaving on Monday for her surgery, so she can’t join them in the Hamptons. Erika says she’s going to be performing in Chicago, but she’ll hop on her plane to get there. She says in Beverly Hills everyone has a private something. Eileen says she wants to be a dance disco queen too.

Erika says she’s been married 15 years and they’ve been together almost 17. She mentions that her husband is 76 and she’s 44. Everyone makes weird faces, which is not only rude, but surprising. LisaV asks how he is in the sack. Erika says he doesn’t even need Viagra. LisaV said she was hoping Ken might slow down, but since he had his hip surgery, he’s even randier. She jokes that she loves him madly and won’t ever leave – unless someone better comes along.

They talk about Ken’s birthday party. LisaV says she wanted to slap Taylor. Yolanda says she heard Taylor had some things to say about her illness, but she hasn’t seen Taylor in 3 years, so she has no idea what’s going on.  In her individual interview, Eileen says LisaV felt guilty about repeating what she’d heard. She feels like she betrayed Yolanda in talking about it, and wants to talk to her. Yolanda says she can’t deal with it right now, and makes an exit. Erika thinks that anyone questioning someone’s illness is making a cheap shot. She wonders who would do something like that, so apparently she didn’t watch the last season of The Real Housewives of Orange County.

Hanky is home and he’s put on weight and doing well. LisaV gives him kisses and he tries to bite her. Back in the pond with you, Hanky. Lisa says maybe her animals are filling the void of the grandchild Pandora hasn’t given her yet.

Yolanda is in the kitchen with her mother and kids. Daughter Gigi is making tomato soup and grilled cheese dippers. Yolanda gushes over Gigi and Bella doing so well in modeling. She says it’s not as easy as people might think. Yolanda goes out with her mom to pick lemons. She says she used to spend hours gardening in her lemon orchard. Yolanda and her mom take a break in a picnic area. Yolanda says she just wants to be healthy and alive and see her babies grow. Yolanda says you don’t think about needing your mom as much when you get older, but there’s no one closer and she needs her mom right now.

The kids bring the soup and sandwiches up to the picnic table. Yolanda shows the kids a folder with her will in it, freaking them out. She tells them it will be in her safe. In her individual interview, she talks about her father’s sudden death and she wants her children taken care of. Yolanda tells them to make sure to take care of her mother if anything happens, freaking them out more.

Next week, Isaac Mizrahi meets with LisaR and the Hamptons trip is on. Also, Kim’s arrest for shoplifting.

Dec23

December 22, 2015 — Port Charles & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

We come in a little late because ABC news can’t wait.

Hayden and Nicholas arrive at the gala. I’m confused since it seemed like it was wrapping up at the end of yesterday’s episode.

Sam is sorry she told Jason that she doesn’t love Patrick the same as she loves him. He’s like, no worries, because he’s dense and doesn’t understand how she’s feeling.

Idiot Elizabeth wonders where Jason and Sam are. Can’t this witch give it a rest? I hope someone dumps the punchbowl over her head. She also sobered up the quickest I’ve ever seen anyone do it.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous ring in the middle of the basically empty gala. Why he didn’t give it to her when he actually proposed is a mystery to me.

Jordan arrives late. She tells Maxie she heard that Paul was the keynote speaker and says the DA has a talent for keeping people happy.

He’s about to make Ava happy, that’s for sure. And where does she find these amazing earrings? (She’s not wearing much else, so they really stand out.)

Michael tells Sabrrrina they need to talk about the baby. He says everyone keeps saying how big the baby is and he wants to know if there’s a reason why. Is there something in the Port Charles water system that makes people thick in the head? Duh. Why does he think that might be?

Patrick sees Robins body on a slab in a mausoleum (that just happens to be on the grounds). I don’t think she’s really dead though because I can see her breathing. Geez. Patrick kisses her and this is reminding me of the end of Romeo and Juliet, so I’m thinking maybe she took something to make herself appear dead.

Robert and Anna have their guns on Jerry. I guess his lackeys flew the coop without him.

Robin opens her eyes. Surprise! Maybe she can go home now. Or at least have a bathroom break.

OMG THEY’RE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF CHAMPAGNE AT THE GALA    ! Get with it, Carly.

Alexis and Julian make googly eyes at each other and Julian gets the last two glasses of champagne for a toast. Very thoughtful of him to take the last two.

Elizabeth asks Molly if she’s seen Sam. What’s wrong with her? Never mind. It’s too long a list. Molly says she thinks Sam left.

Jason says he wishes he could love Sam the way she needs him to. She says she’s made peace with it and when she says she loves him, she means she loves the life they once had together. He asks what now, and she says they can start off being friends and take it from there.

Paul says there’s so much going on at the gala, he won’t be missed. That’s funny, since there are so few people wandering around, it looks like the end of a high school dance. Ava asks if he’s going to be seen with a known criminal now or is he going to arrest her? He says he’s going to make sure she stays right where she is.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that he was there when Dr. Lee said the baby is fine. He says that’s not what he’s talking about and Monica said the baby is due in a few weeks. He asks if he’s the baby’s father and she says no. Good for her. And good for him, finally figuring it out.

Robin asks what Patrick is doing there. He says Jerry told them she was dead and she explains she took a drug to fool Jerry and that one of the guards helped her. She suggests they get the blip out of there.

Hayden tells Nicholas that a man who knows what he wants and won’t back down is incredibly sexy. She adds they’re in enemy territory, but she wants everyone to know she’s here to stay.

Jason asks if he and Sam could really be friends, since technically they’re past that. He says he wouldn’t call it just friendship. She asks what he wants to do. He says he doesn’t know, but do they have to call it anything and can’t they just be there together. Did they run out of dialogue?

Carly rsees Elizabeth. She tells Elizabeth that Jason and Sam are being all close and to leave them alone. She notices Elizabeth is still wearing the engagement ring and tells her to take it off.

Ava is all tied up. Literally. Looks like we’re going 50 Shades of Grey here.

Jerry says his problem is he’s too generous and he should have shot them on sight. He starts babbling about some restaurant in Rome and Anna asks Robert to get someone to take him away before she shoots him. Robert calls for reinforcements.

Patrick explains how he, Anna and Robert got there. Robin asks about Emma and he says she’s fine. Robin says she’s sorry for lying and she never stopped loving him. She says she understands he’s with Sam now and she doesn’t want to interfere with his new life. Anna is looking for Patrick and he calls to her. She sees Robin and is pretty startled. Lots of hugs.

Anna says she thought she’d lost Robin again and Robin says she can’t get rid of her that easy. Robin explains how the guard helped her to fake her death. Anna says they’ll make sure the guy who helped gets amnesty, but they’re going to put Jerry away forever. Robin says she’s been dreaming of this day.

Michael asks Sabrrrina if she was cheating on him. She says it was just a onetime thing. Then idiot Michael asks if she picked someone up at a bar because that must be the only answer. She says no and he finally gets a clue that it’s Carrrlos’s baby.

Elizabeth says she’ll take the ring off when she’s good and ready, and that Carly has no idea who Jason is now. Carly tells her how stupid she is and she’d best not drag Jason back into her delusional world.

Tracy tells Monica that Paul has a surprise for her. I think she’s going to be surprised, but I don’t think Paul is the one who set it up.

Dillon makes a speech about Toys for Tots and introduces India Arie. She sings Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, which is one of my favorites. If you’ve never seen Judy Garland sing it in Meet Me in St. Louis, it’s actually a sad song. India also looks smashing in a glittery gold number with a feathered turban.

During the song, we get snippets of what everyone is doing and Elizabeth goes up on the roof, where I can only hope she’s going to throw herself off.

Apparently, the surprise is a key to the same hotel room where Paul and Ava are going at it and Tracy walks in. Surprise all around and I wonder if it’s Ava who sent her the key.

Jerry is arrested. The inspector, or whatever he is, tells Robert that the local police will be there soon. Jerry says Robin could have made millions with her research, but she was too altruistic. Save it, Jerry. Anna comes in and says nothing about Robin being alive. After Jerry is taken away, she tells Robert to come with her.

Emma is probably going to need therapy for the rest of her life.

Sabrrrina admits it’s Carrrlos’s baby. Michael asks why she lied. She says it’s because she loves him and she wanted him to be the baby’s father. He says, but he’s not and that if Carrrlos wasn’t dead already, he’d kill him.

Paul tries to present Tracy with a gift of a pin commemorating their hard work on the gala. It’s not going over too well.

Sam asks what they’re going to do now. She says she and Danny are busy until after Christmas and after that who knows. Sam gets a call from her mom and Jason says they’ll pick this up later. She leaves. The revolving door happens and Nicholas and Hayden come out on the balcony.

Robert reunites with Robin. Anna suggests they get out of “this hellish place.”

Tracy says she should have realized that Paul was the same selfish bastard he always was. She wonders what his constituents are going to think about him being in bed with a criminal.

Michael says that Sabrrrina must not think much of him, since he would have loved the baby as his own. Uh-oh. Sabrrrina slips and says she thought Carrrlos was dead. She corrects herself and dum-dum Michael just shrugs it off. He says if he hadn’t shown the sono to Monica, he might never have known. She asks if there’s any way they can put this behind them and still be a family. Oh what a tangled web we weave and all that.

Carly asks Sam how things went. Sam says she and Jason managed to connect, but things are different. Carly says Jason is still the same inside and Sam has to fight for him. Sam says they’re going to figure things out together.

Nicholas tells Jason he should thank him. He says that Elizabeth loved him and now that he knows the truth, what has he gained? He says his grip on ELQ is iron clad and asks if Jason is going back to his old life working for Sonny. Nicholas pretty much sucker punches Jason.

Robin tells Patrick how much she’s missed Emma and that she’s spent every waking moment wishing she could get back home. She tells him she wants him to be happy with Sam and he tells her they broke up. He says they have a lot of catching up, but there’s plenty of time to do it. He says they have the rest of their lives.

Sabrrina says she lied because she wanted the baby to have the best possible father and she loves him. She says they can still be a family, but it looks like Michael isn’t having any.

Tracy calls Paul a lying, selfish, pathetic shell of a man. She tells him they might share a son, but she never wants to see him again and storms out. Ava tells Paul he’d better hope Tracy doesn’t tell anyone.

Maxie, Dillon, Nina and Franco toast to Crimson’s coverage of the gala. Nina says let’s go the office now and check out the photos.

Wah-wah-wah. Elizabeth takes off her ring.

Jason clocks Nicholas. Whoops! The next punch sends Nicholas off the roof.

Tomorrow, repercussions from that punch.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! LisaV was pretty upset about the mini horse having leg problems, so some friends of hers (Frank, Tina and Houston) have gotten her another mini horse. It arrives with its companion, a baby mini horse, and they’re both the most adorable things on earth. Lisa now officially has 8 swans, 7 dogs and 2 mini horses. I guarantee, these horses are going to have the best lives ever. I’m still trying to figure out how to get Lisa and Ken to adopt me.

Erika is on the phone with her husband, Tom. She says they talk briefly four or five times a day, but he’s a pretty busy guy. They make plans to meet for dinner. Erika says Tom has always been supportive of her career as Erika Jayne and never told her what to do, but she doesn’t tell him how to practice law either.

She’s trying on some costumes – mostly netting with sparkly things to cover her lady parts. She’s having a hard time squeezing into one of them. She says every woman has a bit of Erika Jayne inside of her dying to get out. Yeah, if I could squeeze into that costume myself, she’d get out.

Eileen and husband Vince meet for lunch. All of these people work so much, it seems to be the norm. Meet you for a meal somewhere. Eileen talks about how Vince’s dad, Dick Van Patten, went to the track all of the time with his friends. His motto was: tennis in the morning, poker in the evening, racing in the afternoon. Vince has been to the races and swears Dick was with him, since he won $600.

Eileen apologizes to Vince for being bitchy. She says sometimes it seems like he has all this freedom, while she’s running around handling everything. He says she shouldn’t attack him first thing in the morning. She says women see it as expressing themselves, but men see it as an attack. Eileen is pretty astute about male/female relationships. He says they shouldn’t talk about anything until 9ish. She says it would be hard to hold it in until then. Eileen says she’s a lot more accommodating than Vince is. She didn’t say those words, but I’m translating the wife language.

LisaR is out for lunch with her daughters. Everyone gets salads. Sigh. The family takes a trip to Canada every summer where Harry used to vacation as a boy. She says instead of sending the kids to camp, they have their own camp. She says raising teenagers ain’t for sissies. I believe her. Lisa says she doesn’t even listen to them anymore and it’s like ♫ la-la-la ♫.

Kyle and daughters go to get ear piercing. The eldest daughter is getting an extra piercing and the littlest is getting hers done. I didn’t pierce my ears until I moved away from home. Kyle says teenage daughters are experts at manipulation. The older one getting the extra hole is being a total baby. Geez, I used self-piercers and pushed them through early because I got impatient. Way to freak out the little one too. Oh, I see, the little one (Portia) only has one ear done and is getting the other one. This probably happened the last time. Looks like she’s sticking with just one this time too.

LisaV calls Ken to the back yard and tells him happy birthday. Lisa’s friends are waiting with the little horses. Ken tries to act happy, but in his individual interview, he says he knows he’s going to be picking up a lot of poop. You’d think they’d hire someone for that, but they are pretty down-to-earth. Lisa says Ken is speechless. Yep.

Yolanda says she hasn’t done anything and she’s exhausted. Erika and Tom come over for a visit. Yolanda says they’ve really been there for her. David is joining them (schmuck). Erika says it’s good to see Yolanda smiling. David says he has to go to Europe soon for some kind of Andre Bocelli thing with the Pope. Yolanda suggests Erika perform with David, but Erika says she’d probably burst into flames. Erika explains that Erika Jayne isn’t exactly Pope material.

Kyle comes to pick up Portia from her acting coach. Kyle says Portia is the only one who’s expressed an interest In acting and she wants to be supportive. She says she got into acting by default, because when her parents divorced, they needed the income. (Way to take care of the family, dad.) She says it will be better for Portia since it will be something fun and not a job. Kyle says for her it was a positive experience, but it’s not for everyone. No kidding. She talks about Kim feeling more pressure, and that people point at her being a child actress as the reason for her addictive behavior, but she thinks either you are or you aren’t, and I agree.

Yolanda is looking forward to being with David so they can “reconnect their souls.” I feel sick because I know they’re divorcing now. She has a whole slate of supplements she takes and says that if someone told her to eat bark, she would because if she goes down, she wants to go down fighting.

LisaR is trying to do Facetime or something with Harry. She’s juggling the phone and the iPad, and I can’t really figure out what she’s doing. She says that technology isn’t her friend. Apparently so. Harry and the girls are already in Canada, but Lisa’s going back and forth because she’s working. She has a QVC clothing line and is very proactive. She’s not one of those celebrities that just stick their name on something.

Commercial break and important information – Vanderpump Rules will be on Sunday.

Yolanda enjoys being out in the country with David. (Oddly enough, they’re also in Canada.) They’re in a beautiful lake area surrounded by mountains, and I’m thinking he doesn’t deserve this – or her. She says her illness has been very taxing on the relationship. She says he gets impatient, but she understands because they used to do everything together. They go out on a speedboat.

LisaV is having a coming out party for the mini horses. LisaR shows up first. She says if anyone should be first, it’s her, and she feels a sense of entitlement here. Giggy! Ken says it’s been a long birthday and LisaR says I’ll bet. Kyle arrives next and Ken leaves with my precious Giggy. Kyle gets kind of annoyed because the girls always bring up Kim. LisaV says something about Kim trashing her on Twitter and calling her a phony. She says she tweeted back that she’s always been supportive of Kim. I’m wondering why all these adults are on Twitter so much. LisaR flashes back to the reunion where Kim said she wouldn’t do anything for a buck, then they show a clip from Sharknado 3.

LisaR says she was looking at Instagram pictures of Yolanda in Vancouver and Yolanda was looking good. She says she’s wondering what Yolanda is trying to accomplish with confusing pictures, that one minute she’s got needles in her arm and looking sick, and the next she’s on a yacht having the time of her life. She says people are questioning it and it’s awkward. In her individual interview, Kyle suggests LisaR should probably keep it to herself.

Lisa brings up Munchausen’s Syndrome and reads the definition. LisaR says that it’s something people can create themselves, making themselves sick even though they’re not. Kyle says Yolanda’s symptoms match a lot of things. Eileen arrives and LisaV suggests they change the subject.

Eileen says she can tell something’s up, so what is it. She asks LisaR for an abridged version. Lisa explains how she was telling them about people questioning Yolanda and the Instagram photos. Is this turning into a Brooks thing? LisaV says they’re probably people who don’t know her and LisaR feels guilty for not having Yolanda’s back. She thinks she should say something to Yolanda, but LisaV thinks that’s a bad idea. So do I.

The ladies see the horses and there’s a lot of squeeing. Kyle says it was built up so much, she expected them to be about Barbie sized. They’re making the poor horses nervous and the horses ditch them. LisaR tells Kyle that she feels badly about saying something regarding Yolanda.

Next week, a swan bites Ken and Eileen approaches Yolanda. Erika also says her husband is 76, but I honestly wouldn’t have guessed he was that old.

I dunno. Is it possible some of these reality stars could be manufacturing illnesses because of a need for attention? I don’t think I’d ever question it, since there are illnesses where people have good days and bad days, and don’t necessarily look sick. That’s actually a pet peeve of mine when someone says, “Well, you don’t look sick.” Well, you don’t look like a sick person just gave you a black eye.

Dec16

December 15, 2015 — No GH, But Lots of Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Not that I don’t realize I’m mostly writing this for my own amusement, just in case, I have no General Hospital recap today. It was on, but I was also on the phone with a friend who is ill with pulmonary fibrosis. She’s bedridden and will eventually succumb to the disease, so she trumps everything with the exception of a house fire.

I did have it on though, and it doesn’t look like it was too exciting. The takeaway points I got from the muted TV were that Johnny did nothing to Valerie – yet. He “fixed” her car and gained her trust so that she won’t suspect what’s coming; and Elizabeth told Carly what happened and I’m sure Carly did cartwheels in her head.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaV and Kyle are enjoying shopping in Italy. Kyle says it’s fun shopping in Europe because you can get things you can’t get in the US. In other words, make your friends jealous with something they can’t run out and buy. She still needs to find a dress for Nicky’s wedding, which just boggles my mind considering how many dresses she already owns. She should have known she was going to end up re-invited. Lisa says Kyle isn’t in an easy position because of the family drama. She says because she doesn’t have any sisters, it’s hard for her to totally get it.

LisaR is taking her daughters for mani/pedis.  One of the girls wants to stay out past 11 and Lisa says that nothing good happens for a teenager after 11 pm, but she agrees. I always thought it was midnight, but okay. She says with teenagers, it’s negotiation all day long. She tells the girls about LisaV getting the tiny horse for Ken’s birthday.

Eileen has the same problem we all do. Vince likes to sit around while she’s busting a move getting kids ready and cleaning up before she goes to work. Soap stars, they’re just like us! Her son, Jesse, had been home schooled in a co-op the previous year, so she’s nervous about him going back to regular school. She says she doesn’t know what it is with men but they don’t hear a female voice. Then she ends up repeating herself and becomes annoying to herself. Soap stars! So much like us it’s sad!

LisaV and Ken are going to Monte Carlo, while Kyle goes on to London for Nicky’s wedding. Giggy! Ken is going to be 70 soon, so Lisa is not only getting him the smallest horse in the world, she’s planning a big birthday lunch.

Yolanda is having a vitamin C IV to boost her immune system. She says she’s pretty much done it all at this point. Her friend, new Housewife Erika, is going with her. Erika doesn’t look too pleased about that needle going in though. She says next time she takes a needle with Yolanda, it had better be Botox. What’s going to happen years from now when they find out what putting botulism close to your brain really does? Remember when your mother telling you that your face was going to freeze like that was a bad thing?

LisaR and Eileen meet for lunch. They’re both wearing leopard prints, so Lisa leaves her jacket on. Kyle joins them. Kyle says the trip was great, the wedding was magical, but she’s glad to be home. Eileen asks about Kim. Kyle says she’s in rehab, but she doesn’t know much else. We flash back to Kim’s craziness. Eileen says she thought Kim escaped. Lisa says the word used was “fled.” I thought she just checked herself out and then went on to shoplift. They talk a little about Kim getting nailed for drunk and disorderly at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Kyle feels a little uncomfortable talking about it and I can understand that.

Eileen says Yolanda isn’t looking too good. Kyle says if Yolanda is doing everything with no improvement, maybe she needs to consider it’s not Lyme disease. Kyle talks again about how she had so many symptoms after her mother died and it turned out to be depression.

The two Lisas are going to pick up the horse in Ohio. LisaV has told Ken she’s having a spa day. They fly to Ohio in a small chartered plane that looks pretty comfortable on the inside. LisaR says “yee-ha!” when they get there, but LisaV says she doesn’t think this is yee-ha country. Being from Ohio, I concur. While they’re in the limo, a huge thunderstorm comes up and LisaR hopes it isn’t a sign from God.

New Housewife Erika was a broke waitress when she met her husband, who had been her customer for a year before she gave him her number. He’s a famous lawyer who was involved in the Erin Brochovich case. She says being broke sucks and being rich is better, but it doesn’t change anyone. If you were an a-hole to begin with, you’re a rich a-hole, and the same if you’re a sweetheart. Erika says she’s been called a golddigger and knew it was coming because of the age difference. They’ve been married 15 and a half years though, and it sure looks legit to me.

The tiny horse, Rosebud, is wearing a tutu and I squee. So do the two Lisas. LisaR says she can’t wait for Rosebud to be a part of the family and thinks Ken is going to love her. Who wouldn’t love the tiniest horse in the world? LisaR says the horse is a little fat. LisaV says don’t say that because the horse might hear. Rosebud doesn’t seem to walk quite evenly, but the owner says she’s fine. The two Lisas aren’t so sure though.

The owner says if there were going to be problems, Rosebud would have exhibited them by now. Hmm…isn’t favoring a leg a problem? The two Lisas confer and LisaV says she wants to take Rosebud home, but she isn’t sure if she can handle a horse that will have future issues. She calls Ken and tells him what’s going on. So much for the surprise. LisaR says she can see LisaV has fallen for the horse. LisaV decides that she’s going to have a vet look at the horse and if all is well, have the horse delivered. They can’t get to the alcohol fast enough.

Giggy! Even though the surprise has been spoiled, but Ken is okay with that. I’m sure when it comes to Lisa, he’s probably okay with just about anything.

Erika says her alter ego is Erika Jayne. Apparently, she’s a video artist and says she’s had 8 number one hits on the Billboard dance charts. She’s meeting with her fashion designer and then having a rehearsal. I’ve never heard of her, but it looks like she knows her stuff.

LisaV is preparing for the birthday lunch with Kevin Lee helping. No surprise, everything looks fabulous. Lisa has a hat tree for the ladies to select a beautiful hat to wear. The lunch is being held in one of the gardens. Taylor shows up with her new husband. “Here comes a certain amount of trouble,” Lisa says. Taylor is moving back to Beverly Hills and says there’s a house available on Lisa’s street. Lisa says, no.

LisaR shows up with a pony on a stick like little kids play with. Lots of Giggy since Ken is carrying him around, along with another Pomeranian wearing clothing. I wonder if they took in another pup with alopecia. Camille and Kyle arrive and they talk a bit about the little horse. Kyle thinks it’s a possibility the horse might be pregnant and now that she said it…um…yeah.

Rain clouds threaten to ruin things, but they sit down to lunch. Taylor brings up how Yolanda’s selfies look happy one day and not so much the next. There’s some discussion about Yolanda’s treatments, and Taylor intimates maybe she’s not really sick. Both Lisas think she’s overstepping a bit.

LisaV makes a toast to Ken. She says she’s spent half his life with him and he continues to inspire her. At the end, she adds that he “might be 70 in a few days, but I guarantee you’ll be staying at 69 very soon.” That’s a direct quote, so don’t blame me for what you can’t unhear.  I actually think they have an amazing marriage and wish I had married an older rich guy.

It finally starts to rain, so they move indoors. A few of the ladies stay outside under a gazebo. Kyle decides to wade in the infinity pool and Eileen joins her. The Lisas follow and soon everyone is in the pool with their clothes on.  LisaV says it was an elegant English garden party and suddenly it turned into wet and wild. Ken gets dragged in too, and she adds that with him floating in a pool surrounded by a gaggle of gorgeous women, he’s not likely to forget his birthday anytime soon.

Next week we see what Ken ends up getting for his birthday and some of the ladies discuss the possibility that Yolanda has Munchhausen’s Syndrome.

Dec10

December 9, 2015 — Port Charles, L.A., a Divorcee & a Wife

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Lulu says what the hell and has another shot with Johnny.

Dante and Valerie go back to Dante’s place where they continue to make me ill.

Michael asks Felix if Dr. Lee is around. She’s not, but Michael says he wants to talk to her about Sabrrrina.

Sabrrrina is waiting for Michael at The Floating Rib and sees Patrick at the bar. He says he feels like he’s having a bad dream that he can’t wake up from. Welcome to my life.

Sam tells Jason that Elizabeth knew for months who he really is. He says it was a mistake to come over. Sam says he knows deep down something isn’t right and he can run away or hear her out.

Elizabeth tries to call Jason, but he doesn’t pick up. He says she’s probably worried about him, and Sam says she’s worried about something all right. Sam says he can run back to Elizabeth or give her five minutes to tell him the truth. He says she’s got five minutes.

Dante and Valerie are making out when there’s a knock at the door. Valerie makes herself scarce, but for once it’s not Lulu. It’s Olivia with Rocco. She asks how long the nonsense with Lulu is going to go on and when are they getting back together. Valerie eavesdrops. No surprise.

Johnny and Lulu flirt a little. Johnny says he was hoping he could stay there. He says his offshore accounts are being monitored, but if she can spare some cash, he’ll pay her back with interest. She tells him he can crash there, but she’ll have to see what she can spare. Dillon shows up and Johnny hides behind the bar.

Michael says he’s concerned about the baby’s size. Felix says it’s wrong to go behind Sabrrrina’s back, and that the baby is healthy and everything’s fine. Michael asks him to come with him to meet Sabrrrina.

Patrick, who has a nerve even discussing this with Sabrrrina, says he has trust issues with Sam now. Sabrrrina says she came out of things with Patrick fine (well, if you can call telling Michael that Carrrlos’s baby is his “ fine”), and he has to decide if he wants to fight for Sam or not.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Jason. Jake comes downstairs and says he can’t sleep, and wonders where Jason is.

Jason asks what proof Sam has. She tells him about how she found Elizabeth in the chapel and Elizabeth said she was hesitant to marry him because of Sam. She didn’t understand it at the time, but now she knows it’s because Elizabeth knew Jason was her husband already. She also tells him about Jake keeping a secret with Elizabeth and Laura. She tells him to open his eyes. She asks if Elizabeth has ever almost told him something and stopped, or shown him some other kind of weirdness. Jason asks if she’s just trying to convince herself so that they can get back together.

Dillon asks if he can talk to Lulu. She says now isn’t the time and she has to get the boat decorated. He says he can help, but she says she works better alone. He asks if he ruined their friendship.

Dante asks if he can talk to Olivia in the morning. She tells him to think of Rocco. He says it isn’t working out with Lulu and Olivia says he sounds like he’s giving up and he has to fight for his marriage. Isn’t that what you want? she asks.

Sabrrrina says when she saw Robin in the church, she knew things were over between her and Patrick, and she could have saved everyone a lot of heartache by just accepting it. She says he has to make a choice and that dragging it out causes the most damage. Michael comes in with Felix. They invite Patrick to join them for dinner, but he takes a pass.

Elizabeth tells Jake that his daddy will be home soon. Jake asks why she said she was worried in her phone message and she says that’s what moms do.

Sam says she understands that Jason doesn’t remember their life together, but she thinks he deserves to know the truth. She says that if Elizabeth had had her way, she and Danny would have never known he was back. She says to look into her eyes and then go home and look into Elizabeth’s eyes. IMO, he knows Sam is telling him the truth.

Felix makes something up to get rid of Michael for a minute. He tells Sabrrrina that Michael is asking questions about the size of the baby.

Lulu says she didn’t love that DIllon publicly exposed Dante as a cheater, but only Dante is responsible for his actions and she wouldn’t take her anger out on him. She suggests they “hit the reset button.”

Olivia asks Dante if he loves Lulu and wants to save his marriage or is he just throwing up his hands and giving up. Dante says Lulu still doesn’t trust him. Please. It’s only been five minutes and even after that you couldn’t wait until the body was cold. Olivia says there’s nothing odd about that, and he shouldn’t let the love of his life go. Dante tells Olivia about what happened on Thanksgiving and she calls Valerie a home wrecker. I concur.

Patrick comes home and Sam tells him Jason went back to Elizabeth and he has to figure out his own life.

Jason gets back to Elizabeth’s. Jake has fallen asleep on the couch. Jason says as soon as he gets Jake settled, he wants to talk to her.

Lulu tells Dillon that she and Dante are officially separated. She tells him Dante signed the papers, but doesn’t mention Valerie being there. She says she thinks Dante wants the marriage over and she does too. Dillon says he doesn’t believe it because she seems miserable. He says no matter what, he’ll be supportive. The he tells her he’s moving back to L.A.

Olivia says she thought Valerie was a one-time thing. Dante says he did too, but things changed. Olivia says Valerie was a mistake and he needs to man up and get rid of his bed buddy. Dante says Valerie is his friend and not to talk about her like that. Olivia says that it’s too bad he doesn’t have the same concern for his marriage.

Felix says that it’s better if Michael hears the truth from Sabrrrina rather than someone else and that when Monica sees the sonogram, she’s going to know.

Sam tells Patrick she told Jason everything. He asks if Jason believed her and Sam says he wanted proof. She brings up her interaction with Elizabeth in the chapel.

Jason comes back downstairs. Elizabeth asks where he was and he says he needed to talk to Sam. Elizabeth asks why he’d want to hear more of her lies. She says Sam is trapped in the past and she wants him to be trapped with her. Jason asks Elizabeth if she knew who he was before he did.

Olivia leaves and Valerie comes out of hiding. Valerie says she doesn’t think Olivia likes her too much, which is an understatement. Dante says she’s a fair person and will come around.

Dillon says he has to go where the work is. Lulu says, what about New York, but Dillon says his heart is in the San Fernando Valley.  (Ha-ha! I almost typed Valerie.) Johnny makes a noise and Dillon hears it.

When Michael gets back to the table, Felix says he’s got to jet.

Sam tells Patrick that what Jason chooses to do with the information she gave him is up to him. Patrick says he doesn’t know if he can trust her because she says one thing, but her actions indicate she’s still in love with Jason. She says a part of her will always love him, but she’s let that go. Patrick says she’s lying to herself and the future they were building doesn’t apply anymore

Elizabeth dodges the question totally, going on and on about how Sam is jealous and being spiteful. He says just answer the question, but she still doesn’t. Whoa. He says she’s making him not trust her by her evasiveness and if she doesn’t answer, he’s leaving. About time.

Valerie is sitting with Rocco and I tell her to take her hands off Lulu’s kid. Dante steps out to the store and I wonder who is going to show up while he’s gone.

Lulu asks Dillon if he wants to go to dinner. She tells him the noise was probably a harbor seal. Aren’t they in New York state? He pretends to go along with it, but then finds Johnny behind the bar.

I am so psychic. There’s a knock at Dante’s door and it’s Olivia.

Michael tells Sabrrrina that he’s worried about her. She says she understands it’s a scary time for him. He says he still wants to talk to the doctor, but she says they need to set up an appointment together. She asks if they can give it a rest for tonight though and just enjoy dinner. Good luck with that.

Patrick says he loves Sam, but he doesn’t think they can make it. He says she really wants to be with Jason and that’s okay because she deserves to be happy. He tells her they’re over.

Elizabeth tells Jason that the truth is she loves him. He doesn’t care, he wants his question answered. She says she accepted him with no questions asked. He says he just wants one question answered and why can’t she – OMG – SHE’S SAYING IT! SHE LIED ABOUT KNOWING WHO HE IS!

Tomorrow, everyone asks for more time with everything and Robin has some scenes.

Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles

JoshA brings Heather breakfast in bed. Heather isn’t pregnant and Josh is a little disappointed. Heather is surprised at that, but Josh says that when confronted with the possibility, he realized that she was a priority. She says he’s sweet and who exchanged him for the real Josh? He says he was just making excuses before, but now he’s ready for whatever comes. He wants to get married asap and suggests early spring.

They call Josh’s parents in Barcelona. I wonder what being a jet setter is like. He tells his mom that he and Heather are getting married April 2nd, and she gets pretty excited.

Mauricio from the The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is the head of the agency where James and David work. They’re having their weekly staff meeting. David and James’s client looks like Dennis Hopper and scares me a little. The client is putting in an infinity pool to up the price on the house. The client wants it at $14 million, but David and James are like it’s more like $12.5. James says the best way to find out is an informal office poll.

JoshF is currently the number one agent in volume and two in commission. Josh and his husband are buying a house. Josh would rather live in a hotel, but he realizes Colton wants a normal life with a yard and a dog. The property is very pretty and Paul McCartney lives next door. Colton says it seems rushed though. Josh has gone from wanting to live at the Four Seasons, to Grandma Edith’s penthouse, to this house.

JoshF admits he’s been on an emotional roller coaster and Colton has been supportive, so he wants this for him. Colton says he thinks Josh is looking at it more as how much he can flip it for later, but Josh says he really wants some stability right now.

David is feeding his cute basset hounds. In a few weeks, he and Adrian are going to Italy where he’s going to propose. He tells Adrian he wants to bring the dogs (they have 5 between them), but he’s just having fun with her.

JoshA is selling a house on Doheny that he says has an “east coast vibe.” Unfortunately, it has construction going on next door, so they’ve had to drop the price by a million. In our language, I’m guessing that’s like $50K. He’s about to have a showing and his brother tells him the power is out. He’s checked the circuit breakers with no luck. The agent’s client is coming in the morning, so they show the agent the house using flashlights. Considering the camera people also have lighting, you can actually see it pretty well.  Josh says the consolation prize for the construction is the lowered price and the agent thinks it’s not a bad deal.

James and David are showing the infinity pool house to some agents. Did that guy just say there are no bathrooms upstairs? What kind of a skabillion dollar house is this? All of the agents agree that it’s worth closer to $12 million. They get together with scary guy Jay and tell him the bad news. Jay says they’re done because besides being scary, he’s unrealistic.

Jay says it’s a special project and they need to open up their minds. Ohmmm, James says they’re not going to spend a bunch of bucks in marketing to find out that they can’t sell it. Jay says he’s going in at $13.5 with them or without them. James and David say they’ll have to take a pass. David tells Jay he’s a schmuck if he goes with someone else after they gave him the idea for the pool that upped the value of the house. They all compromise at $12.995.

JoshF is getting himself beautified. His phone rings and he actually doesn’t answer it. It doesn’t matter. His office assistant hunts him down. He’d lost the house he wanted to buy to another buyer, and the seller is calling to see if he’s still interested. They go back and forth for a while with the assistant relaying the information. JoshF gets on the phone himself and says buyers aren’t exactly lining up for the property and makes a cash offer. He ends up getting the house. He says after Colton gets ahold of the property, it will be ready for Architectural Digest.

JoshA meets for lunch with Max and his business partner, John. He’s received an offer for the Doheny property, but both guys think it’s low. Josh says they should counter regardless. Josh calls the agent with a counter offer, but lets them know the clients really wanted to tell them to pound sand. He tells Max and John they should take the $8.5 million offer. He says if they wait, the market could change and the property could become stale. He says they should take the money and run. Everyone agrees. John says he’s never happy, but he’s satisfied.

Scary client Jay has everything staged and ready for the open house. The furniture has been custom made for the house and is included in the price. David is hoping they wrap things up quickly because he’s leaving for Italy the next day. Everything is gorgeous, but I think it would be weird moving into a place that had furniture already. I guess it’s good if you’re really busy.

James tells David that he wants him to enjoy himself in Italy and to turn his phone off and concentrate on Adrian.

JoshA was burned by JoshF showing a client a property before he could. He shows the client a different property. The client says he loves it, but he just bought the other property from JoshF. JoshA says compared to that property, this one is an estate and a better fit. And it’s move in ready. He says so much work needs to be done on the other one, he won’t be moving in for two years. The client decides to take the property and develop the one from JoshF. Since the sellers are also JoshA’s clients, he’s going to make out like a bandit.

It’s the finale. JoshA lists his blessings and says he feels like the luckiest guy on the planet.

David calls James and tells him Adrian said yes. He did a beautiful job in picking out the ring too. I’m impressed. David says how happy he is to be marrying the girl of his dreams.

James goes down Memory Lane with the properties he and David have sold. It’s been a phenomenal year.

Josh and Colton are moving into the new house. He reflects on the work ethic Grandma Edith gave him. He says things couldn’t be any better. He says although Edith isn’t with him any longer, he knows she’s looking down on him with pride.

Just a note on The Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce

This is a good show. Well written and acted. A divorcee Sex in the City. In the second season, main character Abby and her ex-husband are entertaining the notion of getting back together. Abby is hesitant though, because not only has she become the “new face of divorce” through her journalism, she’s enjoying her new life.

Last night, Bravo did a bit of a crossover. When Abby is out with her ex, she sees some paparazzi and assumes she’s been recognized. But it turns out they want Shannon from The Real Housewives of the OC . I like Shannon because she’s not afraid to poke fun at herself. When one of the photographers asks about her husband, she says it’s date night, the feng shui worked and to put nine in a bowl.

Dec9

December 8, 2015 — Port Charles & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Lulu is putting up Christmas decorations at the Haunted Star while listening to death metal. Maxie comes in and says she’ll untangle the lights. Lulu suggests that when she gets them untangled, she strangle Valerie with them. That gets my vote.

Bobbie asks Valerie what’s up. She’s been sneaking in and out to avoid everyone. Bobbie invites Valerie out to dinner. Hopefully on the docks where someone can push her into the water.

Nathan is meeting Maxie at Kelly’s, but Dante is also meeting Valerie there. Nathan suggests Dante change his venue since he won’t have any peace with Maxie if the two of them are there. Nathan reminds Dante about fraternization. Dante says what’s the big deal about having dinner with a friend? Nathan tries to give him good advice, but Dante is such a jerk, he doesn’t get it.

Nicolas tells Hayden he wants to love her but doesn’t think he can. He says he knows what she’s up to and tries to smother her. Ha-ha! It’s all a dream. They always get me with those.

The ten thousand roses arrive at Patrick’s. Emma makes a joke that the next time her dad buys her flowers, she’d prefer a different kind.

Sam tells Elizabeth to tell Jason how she’s been playing God with his life. Jason tells Sam to accept reality and calm down. She tells Elizabeth to tell the truth and Elizabeth says okay, but not with her there. Oh yeah, I’d totally trust that.

Commercial break. It’s that Ferraro Rocher time of year. Bring it on! My God, I love those candies.

Bobbie says she’s no one to throw stones and she knows Valerie will have a hard time with the first holidays without her mother. I don’t want to feel sorry for Valerie, but I know what that feels like and it’s not pleasant.

Maxie tells Lulu they’re adults and revenge isn’t the solution. She says it will just make things worse. Maybe she should let the rest of Port Charles in on that.

Sam is like yeah, right, you’ll tell the truth as long as I’m not here. She tells Elizabeth she’s no better than Hayden and goes off on her. When she gets to the word “bitch,” Jason gets loud. Please, someone hit this guy on the head and bring his memory back.

Nicholas comes in to the now-awake Hayden’s room. She says she’s afraid of her feelings for him, and he says he’s on to her, just like in the dream. He says she’s been lying about going to ELQ meetings. She says yes, she lied, but he might not like the answer.

Jason tells Sam he’s done with her and “this.” Sam asks what if he’s wrong. He says he doesn’t care and to get out. Sam tells Elizabeth to do the right thing while she can and leaves.

Emma is going to a sleepover so Patrick can get romantic with Sam. She says tomorrow they can start getting ready for the wedding. I don’t know about that…

Valerie says she wanted Dante and Lulu’s marriage to work out, but even though Dante apologized to no end, Lulu gave him separation papers. Bobbie says the distance between separation and divorces is like the distance between Florida and Alaska. She tells Valerie to be careful. She’s concerned that Valerie is taking shelter from her grief with the wrong guy.

Lulu asks how things could get worse and Maxie suggests she think about how things can get better. Lulu says Valerie falling off the face of the earth would make it better. Maxie says Rocco might be affected if Lulu does something stupid. She says Valerie doesn’t matter and Lulu and Dante need to fix things. She leaves to meet Nathan for dinner.

Nathan says he’s going to have to work and has to cancel his plans with Maxie. He begs Dante to stop seeing Valerie until he knows what he really wants.

Alone at the Haunted Star, Lulu hears someone. She has a giant candy cane in her hand and calls out that she’s armed. Who walks in but Johnny, and he says oh, look out, she’s armed with a candy cane.

Hayden says what she told Nicholas about downsizing ELQ is true, but she’s been working with a consultant outside of the office. She shows him a folder with her plans on how ELQ can save money. She says if they lay off a third of the employees, they can increase their profit margin. Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!

Valerie and Dante are at Kelly’s, which has suddenly replaced The Floating Rib as the place to be. Dante says he needs to tell her something, but she wants to go first. She says her feelings for him have grown stronger and she needs to know if he’s going to get back with Lulu.

Maxie comes to the station. She says she needs five minutes of his time. And she brought him some ribs from Kelly’s. Come on now, wouldn’t The Floating Rib be the place to get ribs?

Lulu tells Johnny that he’s a wanted man. He says he doubts he’s very important. He knows she and Dante split up and says he saw it coming.

Elizabeth says thanks for defending her. Jason says he came from an argument with Carly and couldn’t deal with any more. Elizabeth says he knows she doesn’t have anything to hide, right?

Sam comes home to Patrick. She tells him that she was at Elizabeth’s. He says he thought she was past that and she says she did do, but apparently not. She says that she just wants to see it through, but Patrick says she needs to do better than that.

Elizabeth says that Sam is just jealous. Jason asks what it was that Sam says she’s lying about, but she says she doesn’t want to dignify it with an answer. Jason ponders that.

Hayden says she clearly remembers why she broke the vase and it wasn’t because she was jealous of Elizabeth. She knows she was blackmailing Nicholas. She asks why he lied to her.

Dante says that right now he’s being selfish and wants to be with Valerie. He asks if she can handle an uncertain future. Oh I see. He wants to try and work things out with Lulu, but have Valerie just in case it doesn’t work out. Nice guy.

Johnny reminds Lulu of how Dante wanted her to get rid of the Haunted Star when he found out Johnny owned half. He says that their problem has always been that Dante didn’t trust her. Johnny says he’s sorry about what happened. Lulu starts to cry and Johnny hugs her. In a friend way.

Johnny and Lulu have a couple of shots, but Lulu says any more will just make her get sentimental and feel worse. Johnny asks what he can do for her. She says get rid of Valerie. Johnny asks if she wants him to kill Valerie.

I wish he would. Dante is going on and on about not facing up to his responsibilities and just wants to be in the moment with Valerie. She says she’s okay with the uncertainty as long as it means being with him for a while, even if it won’t be forever. These two are ridiculous.

Nicholas says he lied to protect Hayden. She says once she realized, she never said a word to anyone about Jason’s real identity, so why won’t he trust her? He tells her about Britt. Hayden says she had the same problem with her ex-husband, and when she came to town, she just wanted to take it out on everyone. Nicholas wants to get it on, but she says she can’t move forward unless the relationship is based on trust.

Patrick starts wigging out about Sam basing her accusation on what Jake said. He gets a little out of control and does a table flip like he’s on Real Housewives.

Jason says he doesn’t believe Elizabeth is a lying manipulator like Hayden. Man, has he got a lot to learn; she could teach Hayden a thing or two. Elizabeth says she wants to be with the man he is now. They say I love yous and I gag. Elizabeth goes upstairs, but the look on Jason’s face tells me he’s not totally buying that she’s telling the truth.

Hayden tells Nicholas that her dreams are a metaphor for Nicholas getting past her defenses. He says he thinks they’re both in trouble.

Nathan finally finishes work and goes into the interrogation room to find Maxie asleep.

Lulu says she wants Johnny to get rid of Valerie, but not kill her. She says she wants Valerie to go out of their lives and never come back. He says he’ll handle it, but the less she knows the better. I can’t wait to see what he has planned.

The two idiots Valerie and Dante come to the conclusion that maybe they shouldn’t be seen together where everyone else from the station hangs out.

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason gone.

Sam says she’s totally committed to Patrick and is moving forward with the divorce, but Jason still has a right to know the truth. Patrick says it’s over, and goes to leave. Jason is at the door. Patrick leaves and Jason comes in. He apologizes to Sam. He says she’s been nothing but kind and he’s sorry. He says now that he’s more rational, he wants to know what’s going on. Sam tells him that Elizabeth knew for months who he really is.

Tomorrow, more truths from Sam.

Just a note to those who would perpetrate dastardly deeds. I’d rather you didn’t , but if you’re going to, please make it after 4 pm. Kay? Thanks.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and family are going overseas for a vacation, ending with Nicky Hilton’s wedding at Kensington Palace in Kensington Gardens. Lisa and Ken are coming along for the ride.

Giggy! And Lisa’s closet! Lisa is trying to find something for Kyle to wear at the wedding. I’ve seen Kyle’s closet too, so I’m not getting this.

LisaR is showing off her birthday earrings from Harry. They’re simple round diamond drops set in silver and I love them too. Lisa is having Facetime with her parents. She says she’s able to cope with them getting older and in not such great health by living in the moment. Her mom gives us all TMI about her dad. LisaR signs off by saying she hopes his penis feels better. ♫ La-La-La! ♫

Kyle tells Lisa she’s not going to the wedding anymore. She says she was told it would be better if she didn’t come. She tells Lisa not to bring the dress, but I’ll bet Lisa does anyway. It sounds as if there’s some dispute about Kyle doing the new TV show based on her life, so I guess Kathy is being an idiot. What a shame.

We haven’t seen Yolanda yet, but just for the record, I’m hating on David Foster. What a freaking creep he is to divorce her when she’s so ill and she’s been so supportive of him. Typical though. It’s like when a woman works to put her husband through school, and then when it’s her turn, he books. I hope the next one takes him for everything he’s got and pawns his Grammys.

Eileen and Vince go to Palm Springs where Dick Van Patten has a star on their walk of fame. Eileen had recently lost her sister as well. Her sister had cancer, but had not told anyone she was in the final stage of life, and ended up dying in Eileen’s arms at the hospital. This makes me want to call my sister, who had a stroke last year.

LisaR is meeting LisaV for lunch. LisaR says she likes to be around sparkly things and LisaV sparkles. LisaR talks about going to Dick Van Patten’s memorial. She says he was beloved by everyone and it’s been very difficult for the family.

LisaV says that Ken is going to be 70 soon and she wants to do something special. She’s found the smallest horse in the world in Ohio. The owner is willing to sell it and LisaV wants LisaR to come with her to pick it up. She also wants LisaR and Kyle to help care for it until Ken’s birthday, but the horse likes to sleep in bed with people. It is pretty cute and probably not any bigger than a large dog.

Yolanda is at the oral surgeon. She’s had all her old fillings taken out and replaced with gold crowns, but themetal levels in her blood are still high. So she’s having the crowns tested for what metals are in them and has brought an analysis of her blood work for the surgeon to look at.

I feel so badly for Yolanda. And now I feel even worse because that beast, David, shows up. (The show was taped ages ago, so he’s still pretending to be supportive.)

Yolanda starts to choke and David says it’s the numbing in the back of her throat that’s causing her to think she can’t breathe. When I think about it, it makes sense. David the Cretin jokes about how soon they can have sex.

Boom! We’re in Italy! Kyle and her family have chartered a yacht. It’s not Captain Lee though. As always, the food looks fabulous. Kyle says she never vacationed as a child; she only traveled for work. I’m quite sure this trip alone makes up for it.

Lisa and Ken arrive.  The countryside is absolutely beautiful. Lisa says it’s a different sensibility in Europe. Lisa says she’s glad to be away from the restaurant. I’ll bet.

Kyle and Mauricio have rented a villa. Is there any other way? Mauricio has also rented a Ferrari and is driving to the villa with one of the kids, while Kyle gets there in a van. Mauricio gets lost, so Ken and Lisa arrive before he does. The car keeps telling him to make a U-turn. Of course he doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. What is it with men and not asking for directions? Bible teacher Joyce Meyer says that’s why it took the Israelites 40 years to make an 11 day trip. Ha-ha! Yep. I’ve been a passenger in that car too.

Mauricio tells his daughter that had her mom been in the car, it would have been so not fun for him. They finally get to the villa, and immediately hit the pool. Kyle and Lisa are going to take the car and go exploring. Kyle says it’s nice to be away from all the family drama with Kim.

Back in Beverly Hills, LisaR and Eileen stop by to visit Yolanda. Yolanda’s aide, Daisy, answers the door. They see Yolanda’s medicine cabinet, which is really a linen closet, and there’s a mind-boggling array of stuff. Eileen says it’s like when her sister had cancer. The girls get together with Yolanda in the living room. Yolanda says she can’t remember what it’s like to be normal. She talks about parasites that she had removed and they were quite long. She tells them about having her teeth removed. Eileen says it’s real flashback to her sister trying everything to fight for her life.

After they leave, LisaR says she feels a deep sadness and darkness in seeing a young woman not being able to live her life. She says it seems like she’s succumbed to it and accepted it. Truth be told, she really isn’t looking too good.

Kyle and LisaV are strolling around the grounds with Margaritas, and Kyle says it’s like walking in a painting. Lisa tells Kyle about Yolanda having her teeth taken out. Kyle says she’d asked her doctor about that and he said it can open you up to more problems. Lisa says she believes Yolanda thinks it’s more than Lyme disease and is stabbing in the dark. Kyle says when her mother died of cancer, she suddenly felt like she had weird symptoms and spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it was. Is she intimating that Yolanda is maybe not sick?

Everyone sits down to an enormous dinner at the villa. Ken says he’s getting so old, Lisa should start looking around now for a replacement. She asks why he didn’t tell her that when she was on Dancing with the Stars?

Kyle says she’s going to the wedding now, but Lisa says she didn’t bring the dress because Kyle told her not to. (Okay, I was wrong on that one.) I don’t see why she just can’t buy something new anyway. Mauricio says he’s not going, two of the daughters are in the wedding, and the other kids aren’t going. Huh? Lisa talks about the roller coaster that’s going on with Kathy pulling the strings, but Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it in front of the kids. It just sounds weird. It’s probably not just rich people weird either. Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people.

Lisa says as her friend, she hates to see Kyle putting her all into relationships only to be manipulated and devastated. In her individual interview, Kyle says there’s been tension in her family and that’s why Mauricio isn’t going. And kids aren’t invited, except for the ones in the wedding party. Lisa says none of it makes sense and she thinks Kyle should detach herself. She says she doesn’t want to overstep her bounds, and one of the daughters says can we please not talk about it now.

Next week, shopping in Europe! And we finally get to meet new housewife Erica – and the tiny horse. Also, a lot of people diving into a pool with their clothes on.

Thought for the day: It must be a lot of responsibility being Joan Collins.

Dec2

December 1, 2015 — GH, a Good-by & a Welcome Back

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Alexis is skeptical as to whether Helena is dead. Nicholas says he buried her himself, which is another reason I’m skeptical. Alexis starts singing about the wicked witch being dead. Geez, control yourself.

Elizabeth tells Carly to get lost. Carly says she’s concerned about Jason. Elizabeth says Jason is his own man, but Carly says Jason doesn’t know who that is. Check and mate. Carly tells Elizabeth she doesn’t care about him and just wants to trap him.

Laura asks Sam what’s up. Sam says that when she and Jake were talking, he said that she and Elizabeth were keeping a secret. Way to make Laura nervous.

Commercial break. This is a first. General Hospital is being brought to us today by the US Army.

Julian tells Maxie and Nina that if they don’t bring the magazine’s numbers up, he’ll have to shut it down. Maxie tells him that headhunters are already after Nina,but with their budget, there’s not a lot they can do.

Nicholas tells Alexis that Helena taunted Jason with her last breath and then keeled over. Alexis is concerned that Nicholas is picking up where Helena left off. I have news for her, he picked that up long before she left it off.

Laura says she can’t imagine what Sam is talking about. Sam tells her it involves Jason.

Patrick continues to act like an idiot. He’s annoyed that Jason has a son with Sam, and intends to stay in their lives.

Elizabeth says Carly just wants the old Jason back because she’s selfish. Carly says she wants him back because she’s his friend and he still has the old Jason instincts and wants danger and excitement. She says he’s going to end up seeking it out. Elizabeth says a bunch of nasty stuff, adding that if she has her way, Carly is not getting the old Jason back.

Laura plays it cool. She says Jake has an active imagination, and she’ll let his parents know he’s telling stories. Sam says she doesn’t think it’s his imagination and comes out and asks if they knew Jason’s identity before he did.

Jason tells Patrick that if he loses Sam, it won’t be because of him.

Carly tells Elizabeth that she always tried to make Jason feel small so he’d fit in with her. Snap! She reminds her of all the lies involving Danny. She says the only reason Jason is with her is because he doesn’t remember Sam or pretty much anything else, including what a manipulator Elizabeth is. Elizabeth says they’re together now and there’s nothing she can do about it. Carly says one day Jason might wake up to what’s going on.

Maxie says they need to give Nina a makeover and make every woman want to look like her and every straight man want to be with her. She’s bringing in a stylist. She tells Nina,”Change your clothes, change your life.” Preach it, sister.

Franco corrals Julian. He says Nina is brilliant, but can’t figure out why he would hire her with no experience. He tells Julian that if he hurts Nina, he’s going to clean up the floor with him. He says Nina has been through enough. Julian says that he only gave her a break because of her rough life. Please.

Nina gets a makeover! The stylist says Nina is her masterpiece. Nina says the shoes are pinching her feet, and Maxie says that’s okay because her feet will be numb soon. Ha-ha! They reveal Nina, and honestly, she doesn’t look much different than she did before. Just more dressed up. And in all black as a fashion editor should be. At least in New York.

Nicholas tells Alexis about the whole trip to Greece.

Carly says the second Jason remembers who he is, he’s going to leave Elizabeth. Elizabeth whines that Jason loves her. Carly says if that’s the truth, then she should give him a chance to remember. Well played!

Jason comes by Sam’s to pick up Jake. Laura is still there and Jason is like, hmm…what up?

Since Nina has mother issues, she says her sole purpose when she came out of her coma was to have a baby and seek revenge. Maxie points out that’s two purposes. The bottom line is that Nina always felt inferior, but she’s really happy right now. She vows to make something out of the magazine and her life. They fist bump to proving Julian wrong. Julian is at the office door and Nina says they know exactly what to do, but need his money to do it.

Alexis and Nicholas discuss Sam and Patrick. They agree that Patrick is a better match for keeping her safe, but Alexis says ultimately, it’s not their decision.

Elizabeth tells Carly “nice try,” and goes back to work. Patrick tells her about asking Jason to leave Sam alone.

Laura, who now has a perpetual worried face, tells Jason she’s sorry the whole Greece thing wasn’t more fruitful, but he got a couple of answers, so she hopes they can move on. She leaves and Jake is ready to go. He tells Sam he promises to keep her secret. Too bad that plan didn’t work.

Franco sees Carly and says he’s working there again. She says Obrecht must hire people who make her look sane. Ha-ha! She tells him to stay away from Morgan. He says he owes her one for dropping the charges against Kiki. Carly says shedid it for Kiki and enjoy feeling comfortable right now, because everything is going to come crashing down. I’m perplexed as to why she’s so angry with him.

Julian says if they need money, they have to draw up a proposal. Nina hands him a folder that she’s already put together. Julian leaves and Nina wants to show Maxie her brilliant idea.

Jason asks Jake if he wants to talk about anything, but stupid Elizabeth walks in. Jake goes off to watch TV, and Jason tells Elizabeth sorry he didn’t stick around for the lunch they were supposed to have. He calls the argument with Patrick “fallout,” saying that he thought things would normalize when he found out who he was, but that hasn’t happened.

Patrick has invited Alexis to Sam’s house to be her divorce lawyer. That’s kind of presumptuous of him. He’s really getting on my nerves. Sam tells her that when she’s ready to get a divorce, she’ll call Alexis, not Patrick. Good. Alexis leaves and Sam is not too happy with Patrick. I wouldn’t be either.

Julian tells Alexis that Nina has an idea that will put Crimson where he wants it, which is in the dumpster. I’m not sure what she told him, but Maxie seems pretty psyched. However, the money is still the issue (no pun intended). Nina says she’ll pay for it herself. She’s going to put in everything she has to make sure Crimson rises from the dead.

Carly continues being nasty to Franco. She says when Jason remembers how much he hates Franco, he’s going to make sure he’s dead.

Laura comes flying into Wyndemere. She tells Nicholas that Sam is thisclose to figuring out the truth.

Patrick says he wasn’t forcing Sam to do anything she didn’t say she wanted. Jason is divorcing her, and he wanted to make sure she had representation. Sam says yeah, right, he’s trying to manipulate her.

OMG – don’t tell me Elizabeth is actually going to do the right thing for once. She tells Jason she’s hanging on so tight to him, neither one of them can breathe. She says she’s letting him go and takes her ring off. This has to be a trick.

Tomorrow, Laura freaks out.

Below Deck – Reunion Part 2

We start off still discussing the oven fire debacle and whether Kate had been drinking or not. This is coming from Rocky to deflect from the fact the fire started because the oven was dirty. I’m sure that if Kate really did have a cup of wine around, it wasn’t affecting her job performance.

Andy says Captain Lee is a “man of mystery,” but I think it’s more like he wants to keep his distance from the drama. Andy asks if he’s a celebrity in the yachting community and he balks, but the other crew members say he is. We learn his first name is Harold. All this time, I thought it was Lee.

Andy asks Rocky what she thinks of him as a captain. Why her opinion should mean anything, is beyond me. She says he’s supportive of his main people, Eddie and Kate, but the others disagree. They say he’s supportive of everyone, but doesn’t put up with nonsense. Captain Lee says his main deal is that he needs it to be real and honest. No wonder I like him so much.

Andy asks Connie what her goal is and if she aspires to be a captain. She says not necessarily, but she’ll always want to work on boats. We flash back to when Connie’s father passed away. She says she was also on charter when her grandmother died (who she was close to, unlike her father) and that it’s difficult to get news like that through a text message, and she often doesn’t react until she gets home.

Eddie says together, Emile and Connie make the perfect deckhand. Andy reads a tweet that talks about how Connie and Rocky started off fine, but didn’t end on a good note. Connie says every time the cameras pointed at Rocky, she acted like a theatrical lunatic. Connie says you can still have friends that annoy you.

Rocky brings up when Connie put the whipped cream bikini on. Kate says that was different because it was off time, while Rocky took her clothes off during charter and dove off the side of the boat. Rocky says she had to take her clothes off because she was wearing an expensive mic. Okay. Captain Lee says her problem is, she doesn’t own her stuff. She always makes excuses for her mistakes. I’m with him on this. I hate that.

Rocky says she’s learned a lot since then and apologizes. She says that she thinks she was just overwhelmed with the whole thing. Kate and Rocky hug and I actually think it’s sincere. Kate says she’s ready for “the list,” a term she uses for people who have their job down and you don’t have to show them how any more.

They talk about the night Chef Leon quit. Andy says Chef Ben flew in like a yachtee superhero. Enter Ben. He says as a yacht chef, your job is to follow the guests’ preferences rather than just doing whatever. He says the galley was a disgrace and the health department would have shut it down.

They talk about Chef Ben’s accident and how Rocky literally had to be his left hand. Ben says she has the potential to work in the galley.

A tweet asks if Kate gets along with anybody and we flash back to an argument between her and Ben. Not really a fair example. Kate and Ben say that it’s more like banter between them. Andy asks about their “fling,” and they make jokes about how it didn’t last all that long. Andy asked if Kate had thought to rekindle the flame when Ben returned, but she says it was more like she was just grateful for a friendly face. Andy keeps pushing for them to get together again and it’s kind of annoying.

Dave, the final replacement deckhand, joins the group. Emile has all good things to say about his bunkmate. All of a sudden, Andy switches gears and starts talking about Eddie and Rocky’s hook-ups in the laundry room. Andy asks who made the first move, and Eddie says it was Rocky even though he texted first. Rocky acts like being on a yacht is a prison sentence where you have no other choice but to get together with your co-worker. Eddie says he doesn’t deny what happened, but it wasn’t exactly a relationship. More like friends with benefits. Rocky says usually friends with benefits act like friends.

Andy asks if Eddie thought it could really be kept secret and he says yes. Huh? He does know this is on TV, right? Rocky says she thought she could trust Emile because they were friends. Emile wants to deny that he had a crush on Rocky. Please. Especially after he wanted to fight for her honor. Amy calls Rocky out that she should have known better since Emile worked closely with Eddie.

Ben jokes about tipping his hat to Eddie for his sneaking skills. He says yachting is a concentrated environment and stuff is going to happen. Andy asks Rocky if she thought it was going to continue after charter. She says not after he went around talking trash about her. Connie hadn’t believed it at first and she says that’s because all anyone ever talked about Rocky was smack, and she didn’t think her boss would be “banging a cuckoo bird.”

The big denial is discussed. Like seriously, did Eddie think that was going to fly? He says he was ashamed of himself for his unprofessionalism. Rocky says she was surprised he didn’t feel something more for her. Eddie said he’d liked her, but when she went crazy and dove off the boat, things changed.  Eddie says that was the end, but Rocky interjects there were two more times after the show. What is wrong with Eddie? I hope his girlfriend gets a clue and dumps him.

They interject a scene where each of the crew members reads what their Real Housewives tagline would be. My favorite was Leon (read by Andy): Tonight, I’m serving beef cheeks.

Seriously, what is wrong with Eddie that he thinks this wouldn’t come out? He continues to deny it, but Rocky says she has no reason to lie. Stir-the-Pot Andy says Eddie does, since he’s back together with his girlfriend. Rocky says that they had been broken up at that time. I never get why people pretend something didn’t happen when they have it on film, but this dude just continues. Captain Lee says he was extremely disappointed in Eddie and it feels like when your father says something like that.

Andy reads a tweet that asks why Rocky seems to be solely to blame for the male reaction to her. I do kind of feel sorry for her here because she says she thought Eddie was at least a friend. Eddie says he told his girlfriend before he even got home. Andy asks if he hadn’t been caught, would he have told his girlfriend and he says yes, but come on. Eddie is like, can we just move forward, and Rocky says she forgives him. 1…2…3…awww!

Commercial break. I don’t recognize one couple on the new season of Marriage Boot Camp, except for Mama June and Sugar Bear. Maybe I’ll be skipping that one.

Andy asks if everyone sees themselves working on yachts in the future. Eddie says he’s going to concentrate on his career in tugboats. A spin-off series, Below Deck: Mediterranean will be coming up, with Chef Ben in the galley. I’ll definitely be watching this, but some of the scenes where the guests are treating the crew members like trick ponies are a little disturbing.

I’ll miss these guys, especially Captain Lee. I hope they come back for another season some time.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! A dude from the LA Dodgers comes to Lisa’s house because she’s going to throw out the first pitch for LGBT Night, and he’s going to teach her how to do it. The dogs go crazy as soon as they see a ball. Ken tells Lisa to pretend the guy is Brandi. Ha-ha! Lisa says she doesn’t have anything to do with Brandi anymore and I don’t blame her. That girl (and I use the term loosely) is a menace.

LisaR is doing an Oprah: Where Are They Now? show and the producer is there to go over things. LisaR says to actually get Oprah, you have to be at the next evolutionary level, which she’s working toward, but isn’t there yet. She says the longest she’s worked at a job is three years, so she has me beat by one. Except for my six year stint as a mother’s helper.

Eileen says her latest soap storyline is a complicated one, including a love triangle between her, her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. She says the last time she did that, she was the daughter, and wonders if she’ll be in the business long enough to do one being the grandmother.

LisaR says she hopes the rest of her career eclipses her Depends commercial, so it doesn’t say “she wore diapers” on her tombstone.

Kyle gets ready to meet Lisa at Villa Blanca. I’m glad those two made up.

Yolanda is not doing too well physically. Her daughter, Gigi Hadid, calls and Yolanda says Gigi had to leave school because the modeling contracts are plentiful right now.

Lisa wonders why Yolanda is doing so many different treatments. Yolanda was diagnosed with neurological Lyme disease a few years back, and is at a loss as to what to do, so she’s doing it all. She says it’s like trying to uncover a murder mystery.  She hasn’t even driven a car in three years. Kyle tells Lisa it’s weird how Yolanda never leaves the house anymore. Lisa says she wasn’t thrilled with how Yolanda treated Ken last season, but she’s letting it go under the circumstances.

Kyle says she’s in talks for a scripted show about her life in the 70s. Her sister Kathy is skeptical, but Kyle says the show isn’t about her. She says she hasn’t even been speaking to Kim. Kyle talks about Kim being arrested for drunk and disorderly at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Kyle says at least it’s easier now that everything is out in the open, and we flash back to several scenes where Kim was obviously out-of-her-mind drunk.

LisaR is having a dinner for her birthday. She invites Yolanda, who says husband David is away working, but maybe she’ll bring her friend, Angie. After she hangs up, she gets down about not being able to go places. She says if it wasn’t for her kids, she would have jumped off the balcony. In her individual interview, she talks about how she used to be so in control of everything and making it perfect, which she can’t do anymore. It’s really kind of sad. I’ve since read that she and her husband are divorcing, which makes it even sadder.

Giggy! Lisa is honored to be throwing out the first pitch, but is wishing she had a shot of vodka first. Giggy is with Lisa and Ken, looking as handsome as ever. He makes a big yawn and I squee. Lisa can’t pitch her way out of a paper bag, but everyone cheers anyway.

LisaR goes shopping with her daughters. It’s a cool store called Dungarees, not like those rich people stores that only have three items in them. LisaR sounds like a great parent. One of the kids wanted a car, so she told them to get a job. That’s what my father said when I was old enough to work and wanted a big ticket item.

Eileen is getting rid of some things in her house. While she’d thought it was eclectic, Brandi had said it was more like American Psycho.Eileen said it was hurtful, but it gave her a different perspective of her clutter. And actually that comparison is wrong, since the guy in that story was a minimalist. Eileen’s FIL, Dick van Patton, has also passed away recently, and left a void in the family.

I can assure you, LisaR’s birthday dinner venue is nothing like mine was. While I sat in front of the computer eating Arby’s, this restaurant looks like a fantasy villa with twinkling lights, flowers and columns. Yolanda shows up sans makeup and really doesn’t look too well. She still looks better than me on my best day, but in comparison to what she normally looks like.

Lisa and Ken have plans to join Kyle and her family on a vacation in Tuscany. Yolanda feels akin to a “car overheating” from pushing herself to go out and has to leave. LisaR’s husband, Harry Hamlin, arrives. She says he has a lot going on and hasn’t stopped since Mad Men. The food looks fantastic and LisaR gets a surprise gift from Eileen and Vinnie, who couldn’t be there because of Dick’s death. Harry gives LisaR a gorgeous pair of earrings. I have a similar pair, but I can guarantee mine were cheaper. Harry makes a joke about them being cubic zirconia, but that’s highly doubtful.

LisaR says Yolanda was brave to come out without any “protection,” meaning the façade of makeup. She’s very touched that Yolanda showed up.

Back at home, Mauricio and Kyle discuss Kim. Kyle says that when she was younger, you kept things like alcoholism private and this was part of the problem, and at least everyone is being honest about it now. She says there was never a chance to have an open and honest conversation. She says she feels selfish not swooping in to save Kim, but Mauricio says the only way to help is by tough love. Kyle says it’s not like Kim is banging on her door to apologize either.

Next week – Tuscany!

Although I’m not adding it, I highly recommend The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce. It gave me my quote of the week.

You know the last time I had a night out? Never.

Nov23

November 22, 2015 — Atlanta & the Dead

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra is treating Porsha to a colonic. A colonic is the new brunch. I’m on the fence as to whether those are really a good idea or not. Oh I see, the people who administer them are called “colonic therapists” now.  Phaedra stays in the room and Porsha makes a bunch of noises when it starts. TMI right off the bat.

Porsha says that a couple of the ladies brought up some tabloid headlines that were about her new boyfriend, Duke (what is he, royalty or a Great Dane?), like him dating a transgender woman. Porsha doesn’t care as long as he has a package and he’s breathing. Phaedra goes on and on about how Apollo’s motorcycle was at Kandi’s house when the tax man was looking for it. As Kandi said last week, I think he was looking for more than that, but Phaedra wants to misdirect her anger.

There’s also a dog wandering around the colonic room. Never mind, it was Kandi’s dog as one scene was edited into another.

Peter hasn’t contacted Cynthia in a week. I’d change the locks. She’s interviewing tutors for her daughter and both her assistant, Leon, and the potential tutor are fine looking men. She does not need Peter. Nope. Not at all. Unless she wants to lose every penny she makes and be embarrassed for the rest of her life.

Leon talks to Cynthia about her Peter issues. Leon says she’s walked away from a lot of relationships and he thinks it’s worth fighting for. What?! Why? This makes Cynthia want to reevaluate things. Thanks, Leon. She had a foot out the door.

Commercial break and important information. Andy will be doing a one-on-one interview with Vicki on Watch What Happens Live, Monday at 8:30 pm.

Porsha has signed up for a celebrity charity track meet. D list apparently.  I don’t recognize one other person and I watch a lot of crap. Oh, wait, is that Carrie Underwood? How did she get talked into something like this? It’s not even a real race; they’re doing sprints and acting like it’s a triathlon.

Friends are suggesting Porsha do a background check on Duke, but I don’t even think she googled him. Porsha says she wishes they’d just be supportive. Honey, that is being supportive. You don’t have a brain, so they’re looking out for you.

Kenya is having a Kenya Moore Experience event to promote her haircare brand. The event planner is the same one Cynthia used for her sunglasses launch. Kenya asks Marlo what up at Cynthia’s event with Sheree? and suggests they have a pay-the-rent party for her. I remember those.

Cynthia says it doesn’t feel good to come home to an empty bed. I have a suggestion, get rid of Peter and fill that space with someone else. He’s not even returning her calls. I have no clue what she sees in this Neanderthal.

Kim and her husband are going to Kenya’s event, and are excited about the prospect of going out sans children.  She has such beautiful hair and did that platinum highlight thing that I hate. Why? She seems to have a really great relationship with her husband and has done really well with her life, which is good to see when there are so many horror stories of too much too soon with young actors.

After giving explicit instructions about wanting the air conditioners blasting, it’s hot at the event. Porsha and her plus one friend are ragging on Kenya, but since Porsha only seems up to the task of letting a man take care of her, I don’t think she should be criticizing Kenya’s efforts. I’ve grown to like Kenya. At least she can form a sentence and do basic math.

Kim shows up and a lot of flashbulbs pop. Kim says she’s not impressed with a lot of people, but gives Kandi props. The heat plus Kandi’s pregnancy is not working though, and she has to leave. Kim says it’s not her and her husband’s ideal date, but beggars can’t be choosers. Sheree comes in.

Kenya makes her entrance. She has a man with her whose name I forgot already. Needless to say, she’s not thrilled with the temperature. Cynthia says Kenya twirled out faster than she twirled in. Ha-ha!

Miss Lawrence arrives! I’d forgotten he and Kenya are friends. Kenya  gets on the mic and apologizes about the heat. She thanks the people who worked on the event and tells everyone to have a good time. Eugene is the name of the guy she’s with.

Sheree says she doesn’t know if she can trust Kenya since she still wears color contacts in 2015. Okay… Shree throws more shade, and Kenya asks if she can speak to her on the side. Kenya thanks her for coming, but asks what’s up. Sheree says Kenya shouldn’t have talked about her unfinished house at Cynthia’s event. Kenya says she wasn’t making that big a deal about it, they talk contractors, and they make peace. We’ll see. Sheree is kind of a dim bulb.

Cynthis tells Peter he acted inappropriately at the party. He says he was ambushed by her friends about the video. She says if you give people something to work with, they’re going to work with it. Yep. He says he flashed back to their wedding when she came down the staircase, and all there’s been is work since they got married. Welcome to that thing we call “life.” Cynthia says there’s a disconnect between them. He seems to think it’s because they don’t spend enough time together and says it’s her fault. Cynthia says she freakin’ moved here from NYC for him for Pete’s sake, when he built that stupid bar and lost their money. He whines that it’s not his fault. She says she’s not saying that, but she’s unhappy and maybe she’s not in love with him anymore. He asks when she stopped and she doesn’t know. He says he never stopped being in love with her, but she says she doesn’t feel it and he doesn’t show it.

He says he’s been watching them drift apart, but he can’t stop doing what he’s doing (I have no idea what he means by that). He whines some more. Cynthia says they can give it one more go, but it’s not happy at present and is he up for that challenge? He says that when they’re as deep in love as they’ve been, there’s no back door. They’re definitely at odds as to divorce being an option. He says he’ll do whatever it takes. She says that she’s not going to say it’s going to be okay, just because he wants it to be. My hat’s off to her. She’s finally grown a pair.

Next week, the ladies go on a yacht day trip and there’s a lot of finger-in-your-face arguing.

The Walking Dead

Flashback to Glenn getting ripped apart. Wait. He’s not getting ripped apart. It’s Nicholas, the guy on top of him, and he scrunches underneath the dumpster. This is in a snow globe or it’s a dream, isn’t it?

Lots of zombies wandering around while Glenn looks to see how much water he has left. He emerges in the morning. The first thing I’d be doing is looking for a weapon. He looks for water instead. Hey. Stop making that crinkly noise with the bottle.

Enid yells to him from the top of the wall and tosses him some water. I’d totally forgotten about her. Glen climbs into the building and calls to Enid. He asks what happened in Alexandria. She says it’s what always happens, people die. He asks if the zombie horde broke in and what was the air horn sound. She tells him he should go. He asks if Maggie is okay.

Enid runs off and Glen follows. Okay, I guess they fooled us with his “death,” eh? Very clever. Ha-ha-ha. Now bring back that goat from the Morgan episode.

Rick sees Morgan and says he’d like to talk later. He checks out the blood that was dripping down the wall after the zombie attack. He sees Maggie at the lookout point, watching for Glenn. Rick says they’ve come back from harder things, and all of them will return. I wonder who kidnapped Rick and replaced him with this optimistic guy.

Glenn sees a zombie with his eyeball stuck to a fence and stabs him in the head. I’m sure there’s absolutely no reason for this scene except for us to see the stuck eyeball. He finds a note we assume was written by said zombie when they were alive.

Creepy Father Gabrielle is posting a notice for a prayer service. I don’t want him praying with me or for me. Rick is giving Ron gun lessons. Is anyone making bullets? That would be a lucrative profession right now. Rick gives Ron a gun so he gets used to the feel of it. It’s not going to be loaded until he learns more, but he seems a little eager to use it and I’m not liking that.

Morgan is about to talk to Denise, who has the idea Morgan is not as fine as he says he is. Rick comes by and asks Morgan to talk and they go to a mini meeting with Carol and Michonne. Carol has told Rick that Morgan refused to kill the Wolfs. Morgan says he doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t have to and that Rick didn’t try to kill him way back when. He says he doesn’t know what’s right anymore, that he wanted to kill them because of what they do, but there is still the possibility that they might change, and that all life is precious. He doesn’t want to let that idea go. Michonne says he might have to. Morgan asks if they want him to go. Rick asks him if he really thinks he can stay and not end up with blood on his hands.

The zombie horde is banging on the walls of Alexandria. Rick tells Michonne they need to get to their cars and go back to diverting the zombies. He doesn’t want to tell anyone else because there isn’t time and that they haven’t even had time to catch their breaths. She says they’re doing that right now. She reminds me of one of the video exercise instructors I follow who thinks jumping jacks are a resting move. Dieanna comes out with plans for the new Alexandria.

Eugene is at zombie killing lessons and not paying attention. The instructor tells him it doesn’t matter if you die, but if the people around you die, it’s worse because you have to live with knowing you didn’t do all you could. Perhaps she’s speaking from experience.

Glenn grabs Enid before she can get out the door. He says he’s taking her home. Enid refuses. Glenn is insistent and she draws a gun on him.

Commercial break. An episode of Fear 462. The stewardess is about to use a defibrillator on a patient and this is amusing since it’s Dr. Obrechy from General Hospital. There are a few familiar faces on this series.

Glenn tells Enid to give him the gun. For a moment, I wonder if he survived the zombies only to die here, but he takes it from her. He tells her half the herd broke off and is headed for Alexiandria, so they need to get back.

Rick compulsively works on the walls while reciting “all work and no play make rick a dull boy.” Tobin comes along and starts helping.

Enid puts a struggling zombie out of its misery. She and Glenn see some green balloons tied to a post. It’s Glenn’s birthday! Enid takes the balloons.

Blood is still oozing through the wall at Alexandria. Tobin says Rick scared the hell out of him when he first came. He said things had moved slow in Alexandria and then started moving too fast, and not to give up on the people there.

Enid tells Glenn she lived with Olivia in Alexandria, but she was really on her own. Glenn says he realizes she’s scared. Enid says she isn’t and not to lecture her. Glenn tries to talk to her, but she doesn’t want it right now.

Stupid Ron gets into where they keep the firearms and steals some bullets. We already know nothing good will come of this.

Glenn and Enid, who still has the balloons (way to draw attention to yourself), get to Alexadria and see a million zombies outside. Enid says the world is trying to die and they should let it. Glenn says they’re not supposed to let that happen and he’s not going to let her die.

Holy!  A Spencer is crawling across a wire above the zombies. Whoa! He almost drops into them. And he does drop into them. Tobin and Eugene shoot at the zombies as rick tries to pull Spencer back up the wall. This is pretty intense. He makes it. Rick asks what the hell they were doing and Tara gives him the finger. Spencer says he wanted to get to a car and divert the zombies. Rick says come to him first if he gets any more bright ideas.

Denise asks Morgan if everything is okay and he says it’s fine. He sees her “cheat sheets” for medical instructions. He asks how well their stocked for antibiotics. He says he needs to dress a wound and he’s not sure if it’s infected. She starts giving him the symptoms and he covers the cheat sheet, but she still knows. He says he didn’t know if he should get her involved, but it’s not his wound.

Nosey Carol sees them going down the street and follows with baby Judith. Why they don’t realize she’s behind them is beyond me, since there’s absolutely no one else outside. Carol asks Sam to watch Judith. I’m kind of not liking Carol at this moment. Sam’s son asks Carol if his father turned into one of the monsters. Carol says he only thing that keeps you from becoming a monster is killing. I have no idea what she’s talking about.

Carol goes to where Morgan is (some kind of cell) and asks what he’s hiding. Ron comes up behind Carl with the gun. Rick and Tobin continue to work on the wall. But unlike Nehemiah, Rick is distracted by Tara walking by. They banter about the Spencer thing and Deanna joins in, thanking Rick for saving Spencer. Rick says he could have gotten out to get a car in the moment Spencer fell, but he chose not to.

Everyone sees the green balloons in the distance. Maggie runs to the gate. Worried faces all around and then we see the church tower fall and smash open the wall.

The mid season finale should be a doozie.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Uncensored

Not much to say about this other than it’s a chance for Bravo to milk the franchise some more. It’s still worth watching though. From the audition videos to the outing of Kim as an alcoholic to outtakes from the dinner party from hell. Sometimes you get the best stuff in these in-between shows.

The “real” Real Beverly Hills Wives begins Tuesday, December 1.