What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, although for a second I thought he was with another woman, since I’m not used to brunette nuMaxie.

Claudette hasn’t found out about the coffee shop yet, so she sits at the MetroCourt. She pulls the framed wedding photo of her and Nathan out of her purse. I guess she carries it with her instead of one of those pesky wallet photos. Why fool around?

Diane and Alexis meet at the coffee shop. Diane asks what the face is all about and tells her it’s no time to have cold feet. Alexis doesn’t think she can face the arraignment. Diane tells her to put her big girl pants on, because if she shows up with her divorce attorney, it will send a strong message to the bar. She asks if Alexis still has feelings for Julian and Alexis shows her the divorce papers, telling her that she already delivered a set to Julian.

Scotty tells Julian bail doesn’t look good. Julian was hoping Ava would be back by now and helping him out. Sonny shows up. He says payback is just getting started. For the first time since he joined the show, I’m on Team Sonny.

The group wanders around Cassadine Island. Doc has to stop and Ava says they should keep moving. Doc says to go on without him. Puh-leeze. Shouldn’t they have phone reception by now? I distinctly remember Valentin using a cell phone in the tunnels yesterday.

Laura says no one is going anywhere. She asks Dante if he had any medical training. Doc is like, excuse me, I’m an actual doctor, and asks for a mirror so he can see the wound. He says it’s not good and the bullet needs to come out now. I’ve never been a doctor, or played one on TV, but it doesn’t look that bad to me. And it’s pretty far away from any vital organs.

Alexis says she doesn’t think she can do it. Diane says she won’t be alone, but I’m questioning the outfit Diane is going to wear to court, a colorful hoodie and denim skirt. Is the dress code more lax at an arraignment?

Sonny says he’s a concerned citizen wanting to see justice served and laughs about Julian’s recovery. He says he’s been seeing a lot of Anna lately, emphasizing her connection to Duke, and the best thing would be for Julian to rot in prison. He says Julian will have to watch himself for the rest of his life since he has so many enemies. Paul comes out and says there won’t be any press, but private citizens are okay. Sonny wonders if Julian realizes how badly he screwed himself.

Dante finds a knife and Lulu produces some ancient first aid kit or sewing kit or something. Dante says he’ll take out the bullet, but the others need to hold Doc down. Doc starts yelling before Dante even does anything. Doc says Dante will have to hold him down and have Laura take out the bullet. He tells her to put the booze she’s holding on the wound. Um…maybe he should drink some? Doc gives Laura instructions. Oddly enough, Doc barely makes a peep as Laura cuts into him.

Nina calls Claudette. She tells Claudette she needs to come in because the next issue of Crimson has to be perfect due to Julian’s mess.

Maxie – who is wearing a black knit dress with white birds on it that I’m in love with – goes on to Nathan about Claudette. She says she should have listened to Nathan and Nina and gotten rid of her when she found out Claudette used a fake name when she applied for the job. Nathan brings up the shooting, but Maxie says she doesn’t think Claudette wants him to go to jail. She thinks Claudette wants to stop their wedding and says Claudette needs to go. She says they’ll have to fire her for performance problems and shows Nathan a flash drive Spinelli sent to her. She says they’ll talk about it later.

Laura gets the bullet out. So come on, Doc, let’s get going. Laura asks if he can take a little more pain and he says he doesn’t have a choice. Laura gets a needle and fishing line (?) from Lulu. Ava tells Dante they’re sitting ducks. He says Jason and Sam will be back soon. Ava is afraid that Valentin might have stopped them, and wishes they’d taken the guards phones. (You mean to tell me not one of them took a phone?) She says Julian could call in some favors. Dante tells her about Julian’s arrest.

The judge lists the charges and asks Julian if he understands. Julian keeps silent. Alexis walks in with Diane and he says he understands.

Nina is on the phone. She says if the charges against Julian turn out to be true, Crimson will have nothing to do with him anymore. Maxie sneaks into the office and does something with the flash drive and the computer.

Claudette shows up at Nathan’s. She says they need more closure. She says she wanted to speak with Maxie privately because she hasn’t been totally honest, but since he’s there, she’ll be honest with him first. She pulls that big honking picture out of her purse again.

Paul states his case about denying Julian bail. Scotty says nothing has been proven, yet the DA claims Julian is a flight risk. He wants Julian to be released on bail into the custody of his wife. I make a noise out loud. Sometimes I watch GH like some people watch football.

Ava refuses to believe Julian tried to kill Alexis. She says she should be back in Port Charles helping him and tending to Avery. Lulu approaches and Ava explains how she ended up with Nicholas. She says at first it was a fun game, but she got to know Nicholas. She tells Lulu how terrible he felt for lying to his family. Lulu says she never stopped loving him and Ava says he was special. Laura joins them, saying Doc is okay for now, but it wasn’t the most germ free scenario. She wonders where Jason and Sam are. Ava says she’s sorry about Nicholas and talks about how much she liked him. She says he was a complicated, but good man. Laura says if he hadn’t come back to the island, he’d still be alive, and the island is cursed. Lulu thinks about the earring she found.

They hear someone coming and hide. Yeah, just leave Doc out there in the open though. Geez, after all these people have been through in their lives, you’d think they’d be a little better at this.

A girl pops out and Dante asks who she is. She says her name is Daphne and she lives on the island. Dante asks if anyone sent her there. She says no, but Ava doesn’t trust her.

Nathan wonders why Claudette is walking around with the photo. She claims she suddenly found it in her bag (okay). She makes up a bunch of nonsense and says she realized she’s over him and wants to move on with her life. She says she wanted to send a clear message and drops he photo into a garbage can. The glass shatters. She says the only thing she wants from him is closure. He says he needs to talk to Maxie. Claudette says she’s got to get to work and will leave that to him.

Maxie continues to mess around on the computer, downloading malware to corrupt Claudette’s files.

Diane flies up to the bench and says Julian has terrorized her client and tried to murder her. She says he’s delusional. Julian gets up and starts whining about how he and Alexis love each other. Is he on the same show as everyone else? The judge tells Julian if he doesn’t knock it off, she’ll call him in contempt and have him restrained. She says there will be no bail.

Scotty tells Julian thanks for ticking off the judge. Julian says bail wasn’t going to happen anyway. Scotty asks what the floor show was for. Alexis asks Julian if he’s nuts. He doesn’t answer that, but tells her he still loves her and thinks she still loves him too. She says he destroyed all of it and she’s there to make sure he pays for what he’s done. He says it’s never going to be over for them.

Maxie says she hopes Claudette is ready to work because there’s a lot of pressure on this issue. Nina comes in with Claudette’s work and says it’s a disaster and can’t go to print. Claudette says someone must have messed with it. Maxie asks if she’s been hacked. Nina tells Claudette she picked a bad day to screw up and calls Maxie into the office. Nina wonders if Claudette gave them someone else’s work when she interviewed. She says she has no choice but to fire Claudette and hire a temp. They go back out and Claudette has a geek working on her computer.

Daphne says she doesn’t want any trouble and promises she won’t tell anyone she saw them. Doc groans and Laura says he has a fever. Daphne offers some antibiotics, but Ava is afraid it’s a trap. Daphne says hers is the only house on the street. When she mentions the street name, Lulu says, omg.

Nathan calls Maxie, leaving a message about her stopping by and saying that they might have been wrong about Claudette. The geek fixes Claudette’s computer. Claudette talks about some cryptic email that was sent when she was out of the office. They hit reply and it goes back to Maxie’s computer. I don’t really get this and I’m pretty computer savvy.

Scotty is like, that went well, and tells Julian that Alexis has nothing but contempt for him. Julian says Alexis is saying one thing, but her eyes say another. Yuk. Scotty says the police have a recording of his confession, but Julian says they’ll see about that. I hope they made copies.

Sonny asks Alexis why she lied to him.

Lulu asks what the exact address is. When Daphne tells her, Lulu says it’s the return address of an empty envelope she received in the mail.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Alexis about Parker, Claudette wants to say good-by, and Doc thinks he’s not long for this world.

Little Women: LA

I missed the first couple of this season’s episodes, but the main points are: No one knows where Briana is, Elena has preeclampsia, and Terra has decided not to find out the baby’s gender or if it has dwarfism until it comes.

Terra, Tonya and Christy also did a panel at Drag-con. where Christy and Terra buried the hatchet. Sort of.

The news is out. Briana is in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. Facetiming with her, Elena asks if she’d like anyone to visit and Matt says no from the background. When Elena hangs up, she tells Preston the whole thing is kind of sad and because of Matt, none of Briana’s friends or family know what’s going on.

Jasmine and Tonya are taking a workout class. Afterward, Jasmine asks about Kerwin. Tonya says he’s on his way to move in. Their daughter is returning from college as well. They discuss Matt and Briana. Briana has been ignoring Jasmine and Christy’s calls, and Christy thinks she’s in an abusive relationship. Tonya tells Jasmine that if she wants a relationship with Briana, she needs to step back. She adds not to let Christy’s opinion affect things.

The girls get together for dinner. Elena gives them an update on Briana. Jasmine is upset at being cut out of Briana’s life just because she doesn’t like Matt. Christy says Briana’s family has been contacting Christy in hopes of finding something out. Busybody Christy told them about the rumors that Matt has been seeing a transgender woman. There’s a discussion about Matt. Jasmine feels like he’s isolating Briana. Tonya tries to explain they need to back off because that’s who Briana wants with her. Jasmine gets upset and leaves.

Christy goes dog bed shopping with her mother and fills her in on the Briana discussion. She gets weepy over thinking that Briana might not even be getting her texts. She says Briana is losing her identity.

Jasmine and Chris are doing some gardening. It’s rare for Chris to get an afternoon off. Jasmine asks him about the railroad, but he hasn’t gotten scheduled yet. He says it feels wrong for Jasmine to be working so hard while he waits for his dream job. Jasmine says it works for them and she doesn’t care what anyone says.

Jasmine says with her type of dwarfism and hypothyroidism, her health is always of concern. Whenever she gets sick, she has to stay a step ahead so it doesn’t turn into something else. She wants to try and strengthen her immune system.

Briana is home. She says she was on her way out for a spa day with the girls and just fell over in pain. The pressure of the baby has caused her intestines to not work properly. She tells Matt it was the most terrifying experience of her life. She and Matt discuss how early on, the doctor said there might be a choice between saving her or the baby. Matt tells her they’ll make it through this.

Matt says when Briana first went into the hospital, he called Preston and Christy. He was trying to head things off, but then started getting texts and threats from Briana’s family. Briana is annoyed that Christy brought her family into it. She says she gave Christy another chance because she promised to stay away from Briana’s family. Now she doesn’t even want Christy having her new address.

Terra wants to make sure everything is clean before she has the baby, and that includes bathing the cat. Joe thinks it’s a little extreme and possibly insulting to the cat. Zelda the cat certainly takes it better than most of mine ever had. OMG – don’t put her near your face, Terra!

It’s move in day for Kerwin. Tonya has a few things to say about the clothing he’s brought. She can’t believe they’re actually doing this after all these years. She says she wants them both to put 100% into the relationship. Kerwin says she needs to cut all ties with old relationships. Tonya’s ex is also her business partner and Kerwin is not down with that. She says he still has some stuff of hers that slipped her mind, and Kerwin isn’t thrilled.

Jasmine visits Briana, bearing flowers and a gift. Briana reached out to her, but Jasmine is uncomfortable with Matt around and thinks Briana won’t be honest with her. She tells Briana she was hurt that she Facetimed with Elena, but not her. She says Briana is her number one girl. In her interview, Briana says Elena and Preston have always been supportive. Jasmine says she’s still having a hard time with what Matt did and she worries about Briana. Briana tells her that Matt was with her 24/7 while she was sick and is being the husband he’s supposed to be. In her interview, Jasmine says she’ll take Briana’s word for it, but Matt has a long way to go to prove it to her.They discuss Christy’s nose being in Briana’s family business. Briana says she’s done with Christy.

Jasmine brings Chris breakfast in bed, along with a note from their new baby. Her way of telling him that she’s pregnant. She’s concerned about the health complications, since she’s already having some issues. She tells Chris she has to talk to the doctor. He says if she has to be on bed-rest, he’ll do whatever is needed. She says she knows they’ll make it with him in her corner. In her interview, she says whatever comes their way, she knows they’ll get through it. I vote to put Chris in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum. A man who actually cares.

Tonya’s daughter, Angelique, calls a family meeting, saying she wants to establish some rules. It’s kind of silly, like she tells them no sex in the house if she’s there. She asks some questions like if they want to get married and why he’s suddenly moving in. When Tonya and Kerwin start to kiss, Angelique runs for the hills.

Terra and Jasmine go for a spray tan. Jasmine says Terra is pregnant and asks if that’s a risk. The clerk says during the first trimester, you should be cautious. Jasmine opts out of the tanning, and Terra realizes why. Jasmine is happy that she and Terra will be pregnant together this time. Terra asks if she’s worried about anything and Jasmine says the only thing on her mind is Chris. She’s hoping the railroad calls soon, just in case she ends up on bed-rest.

Briana has emailed Christy to meet her in the park. She says Christy has crossed way over the line and she doesn’t want Christy in her life anymore. Christy brings a housewarming gift and asks how the baby is. Briana says fine, and tells Christy that she’s moved and changed her phone number, but she doesn’t trust Christy with the information. Christy asks if she got her texts and Briana tells her she wasn’t in a position to answer them. Christy tells Briana that her family is worried. Christy asks to talk to Briana alone. Matt says fine, but tells her about the death threats he got from Briana’s family because Christy interfered. Briana tells Christy that Matt didn’t do anything to deserve this and Christy says, yes he has. My jury is still out about Matt, but I do think Christy needs to back off if she wants to salvage this friendship.

Christy claims the threats have nothing to do with her, and Matt says yes they do, since she’s the one who contacted Briana’s family. Matt leaves and Christy says Briana’s family wants to be with her. Briana says Christy broke her promise not to contact them. She says Christy also hired her publicist, and when Briana found out the publicist was being a mole for her family, she dumped her. Christy keeps saying she didn’t go behind Briana’s back, even though it’s obvious she did. Christy says if Briana wants to have an open marriage, that’s her business, and brings up Matt’s sexting. Briana says Christy can hate Matt all she wants, but she asked Christy to do one thing which she couldn’t do and now Christy is dead to her. In her interview, Christy says it’s like Briana has Stockholm Syndrome.

In her interview, Briana says she doesn’t know why Christy is so surprised. She leaves the gift on the park bench.

They don’t give a preview for this show and I’ve always wondered why.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda tells Sonja that Bethenny is sick again and won’t be going to Hawaii. She thinks Miami might be better since it’s not such a long flight. She says The Countess is in Palm Beach, so they can hook up with her too.

The Countess and Ramona join them and Dorinda fills them in on the plan change. In her interview, Ramona complains about not going to Hawaii. The Countess says an engagement party on a friend’s yacht has already been planned and now the girls can come too. The Countess calls Tom to let him know the change in plans. In her interview, Ramona complains about that too. Ramona leaves for a doctor’s appointment. Dorinda says she doesn’t dress like that for the doctor, and maybe Ramona is going to a “personal gynecologist.”

Jules goes shoe shopping. She’s excited about Miami, since her parents aren’t far from there. Ramona and Sonja join her. We look at tons of cute shoes that nobody in their right mind should spend that much money on. Jules has decided to go down a day early to visit with her father, who is out of the hospital and feeling better.

Ramona talks about how The Countess told the press about not caring that Sonja and Ramona went out with Tom before she did. Apparently, they got things mixed up and named Ramona as the friend with benefits. Why anyone should care, I’m not sure. Ramona thinks The Countess shouldn’t have mentioned her at all. Sonja and Jules discuss the three date rule and sloppy seconds.

Bethenny is having the girls over to discuss the Miami trip. Carole shows up with a huge scratch on her face from her boxer’s overzealous greeting. A boxer dog, not a human boxer. Bethenny tells them about the ski trip with Brinn and how it was a good bonding experience.

Dorinda brings up The Countess’s engagement party, and says they’ll be going to Palm Beach first on Friday. Ramona wonders why Tom asked The Countess out when he was still dating her. Why are we still belaboring this point? Bethenny says she’s not going on Friday and reads the text she sent to The Countess. Bethenny talks about having a Mexican party to thank them for their support.

Dorinda calls Carole, who is skeptical about the engagement party, but wants to meet Tom. She admits to being curious as to how it’s going to go with Tom, The Countess, Ramona and Sonja on the same boat.

Jules visits her parents. She’s happy to see her dad up and around again. Her drink is coming out at Whole Foods in a few weeks. She says she didn’t expect to be a business owner, but it’s empowering. Her father tells her how proud he is and jokes that she can take care of him now in his old age. She calls the kids and one of them whines that their father isn’t there yet. She says she’ll call him. She’s annoyed that he’s not filling in the way he was supposed to when she was away. Of course all of this is colored by the fact they’re getting a divorce now. It makes me wonder if any fast editing was done after that announcement was made. Jules tells her parents about the Miami trip and how much the girls fight.

Ramona wants Sonja to carry her bag because she’s a selfish twit. Sonja refuses. Good. The Ramona type, who wants you to wait on them, does not fly with me. I always tell them I’m not their boyfriend. The Countess is getting ready for her guests on the yacht. Jules arrives first. The Countess talks about how happy she is.

Ramona asks Dorinda if The Countess still has a problem with her. Sonja thinks Dorinda is stirring the pot. Ramona and Sonja flirt with the driver, embarrassing Dorinda since he’s their daughters’ age. Ramona is still ticked about what The Countess said to the press and won’t shut up about how she was dating Tom when he asked The Countess out. Dorinda thinks the whole thing isn’t right. Ramona thinks The Countess was deceitful in how she picked up Tom when he was out with someone else.

The girls arrive at the yacht. Sonja picks up a glass of champagne and Ramona takes it out of her hand. The Countess hands her another glass and in her interview, Ramona says she’s a bad influence. We tour the yacht. I actually like it better than the Ionian Princess on Below Deck Mediterranian. It’s nicely decorated, not busy and not garish. The Countess is shocked when Ramona says she doesn’t care what room she’s in.

The girls change into bathing suits while Dorinda talks to The Countess. She tells The Countess about Ramona’s remarks concerning the press. The Countess says she doesn’t want to talk to Ramona and nothing is going to ruin her party. Dorinda asks who’s talking to the press. The Countess says she can talk to whoever she wants, since it’s her story, but doesn’t answer the question.

Ramona asks Sonja to take a picture of her. Carole is the last to arrive. In her interview, she says she and The Countess have had their ups and downs, but she’s genuinely happy for her. The Countess tells everyone about the men who’ve been invited. Ramona asks for a list of the invitees because everything is all about her and she wants to know who she can swoop down on. The Countess says she’s not inviting Ramona to anything anymore.

Bethenny is already in Miami. She talks to a friend about The Countess and Tom, and how he was dating Sonja and Ramona. She says The Countess is the biggest barracuda of all of them. She talks about someone sending her a series of texts that would blow up the engagement, and she thinks there’s a possibility of the wedding being canceled if the news gets out. She says she’s going to have to tell The Countess about it. Oooh, tell us first.

The Countess says Tom’s mother is in town and they’ve been looking at wedding venues. Ramona brings up Tom having dated her and The Countess says he was definitely a player, but it’s all BL – before Lu. She says she was a player too, but they’re a perfect match.

The girls get ready for the party. Tom arrives and puts the moves on The Countess. The rest of them gather in one of the bedrooms and Ramona pumps Sonja for information on the last time she saw Tom and how she’s going to feel tonight. Ramona says it would be too weird for her, since the last time Sonja saw him, they were romping in the sheets. Sonja says it’s fine, but Carole wonders if it won’t be awkward. Sonja says she’s getting emotional. Well, yeah, because these insensitive morons won’t shut up. She says she didn’t know he was seeing The Countess. Ramona says that The Countess knew Tom was seeing her and Sonja is like, wha-a-a-at?

Next time, the party commences, Ramona acts like an idiot, Tom is uncomfortable, Sonja is sad, and The Countess tells Ramona to shut up.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis takes off her wedding ring set. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Sonny. Alexis thanks him again and he says he’s just glad she’s okay, but she wonders if she is.

Hayden tells Tracy she has a problem with being a drug mule. Oh come on, Hayden, it will be fun. Finn is looking everywhere for something and tearing the room apart, like it’s a scene out of Lost Weekend. He finds nothing but an empty vial. He tells Roxie not to judge him. He tells her that he knows he hid a couple of doses somewhere; he just has to find them.

Franco approaches Elizabeth at the hospital. He applied to an art camp for Jake and she wants to know why. Franco says it’s a great opportunity for him. Elizabeth says it’s two grand that she doesn’t have. Franco tells her to read the whole email and points out that there’s financial assistance. Elizabeth says her other two boys want to go to camps, but she’s not likely to get scholarships for all three. Franco suggests an online campaign, but Elizabeth nixes that idea. She says it would have been better if he’d checked with her first.

Claudette talks to Nina about the job. Nina thinks she’s going to be a perfect fit. Maxie comes in and Nina toasts with her coffee, asking what the “C” in CJ is for. Maxie says “Claudette,” and Nina chokes on her latte. Nina asks her to explain. Claudette says CJ is her professional name. Nina tells her she’s fired.

Nathan tells Griff he’s been officially cleared in the hospital murders.

Alexis tells Sonny to go ahead and tell her “I told you so.” She says at one point, Julian did leave the mob and it was a great ten minutes. Sonny says he knew what Julian is capable of and Alexis says she thought she did. Sonny says he’s her friend and wants her to know it. Where did this gregarious Sonny come from?

Hayden says she wants to help Finn, but not at the expense of her own freedom. Tracy says she’ll do it herself, but Hayden has to tell Finn.

Alexis says she’s made some bad life choices, although at least she got children she loves dearly out of them. She says no wonder she’s confused. Sonny says it’s over and Julian is on his way to prison. Alexis says she should have turned Julian in earlier and Sonny says hindsight is 20/20, but he has no doubt she’ll rise up again.

Tracy and Hayden go to Finn’s room. He asks them to come back later, but Tracy says it will only take a minute. She sees the condition of the room and asks if he lost a contact lens. He explains that he was looking for doses he’d hidden. Hayden says the Feds are looking at her, so she doesn’t want to be a mule. Tracy says to just tell her where to go and who to talk to, and she’ll take care of the rest. Finn thanks her, but says Hayden is right. He doesn’t want either one of them getting his drugs.

Maxie asks for a moment with Nina. Maxie tells Nina that Claudette can sue if she’s fired for personal reasons, although I’m not sure about that. Nina asks why Maxie wants her there, and Maxie says because she doesn’t trust her and wants to keep an eye on her.

Epiphany is going out of her mind at the desk. There’s a sick-out because of the serial killer being on the loose. Nathan tells her it’s high priority and they’ll bring the killer to justice in no time.

Franco tells Elizabeth he’s just learning to be considerate and thought he was doing a good thing. She thanks him for being supportive, but thinks boundaries should be set. She says if he has any ideas about Jake again, to talk to her first.

Sonny tells Alexis to give herself a break and blame Julian. He says she got enough evidence to send him to prison. Sonny asks her how she faked the pregnancy test. She tells him she learned a lot of things in law school and Anna knows some good tricks too. Don’t tell us or anything.

Tracy tells Finn she’ll bring the mountain to Mohammed. He tells her to remember the last time she left US soil and almost lost her life, and that her body is still recovering. Tracy says she’ll be the judge of what she can handle. Finn says as her primary physician, he doesn’t think she should be taxing her body right now. Tracy says his only solution is Hayden. Finn says he doesn’t want her to risk it.

Nina tells Claudette that maybe she overreacted in being protective of Nathan, and the job is hers. She adds that Claudette should thank Maxie and makes something up about what Maxie said. Curtis has shown up and Nina takes him into her office. Maxie offers to show Claudette around.

Nina gives Curtis his first assignment on bad plastic surgery. She talks about surgeons leaving people maimed and broke. She says his mission is to investigate the frauds. She’s made an appointment for him. He says he’ll investigate Claudette at the same time.

Elizabeth asks Epiphany not to schedule her and Franco together. She says whatever Franco thinks they are, he’s mistaken and he’s been overstepping his bounds. Epiphany says she’ll do it. Franco lurks by the water fountain.

Sonny tells Alexis she was brave. She thanks him and says she never wants to do anything like that again. Sonny says when she shoved the knife in Julian’s back, he wasn’t sure if she was protecting him or it was because Julian had it coming.

Tracy thinks she can convince someone to take the trip on her behalf. Finn finds a dose he’d hidden and asks if she doesn’t think enough people know about this already. Hayden hustles Tracy out, and Finn gives himself a shot.

Curtis says he’ll get some dirt on Claudette to give Nina leverage. Nina gives Curtis the information she has on Claudette and tells him what Claudette said about why she applied for the job under a different name.

Maxie sees Claudette’s purse and almost picks it up, but Claudette comes back with coffee. Claudette thanks Maxie, who says she did what’s best for the magazine. Claudette tells her she’s just there for the job. She’s moved past her relationship with Nathan and wants what’s best for him. Maxie asks what that is. Claudette says obviously it’s Maxie, but they don’t have to socialize outside of the office if Maxie doesn’t want to.

Epiphany asks what Franco wants. He asks what’s the point in being a better person when it doesn’ t get you anywhere? I know the feeling. He says he’s through with being nice.

Sonny says maybe it’s best Julian didn’t die so Alexis isn’t shouldering the blame. She says she’s glad that he’ll spend the rest of his life behind bars paying for his crimes. Sonny says he used and abused Alexis, but in the end, she took him down.

Tracy and Hayden confer. Hayden thinks Finn has a point. Tracy says if she’d gone alone, she would have at least found out what drug it is. Hayden pulls a paper out of her purse that she swiped from Finn’s room. It has the name of the drug on it.

Nathan asks Griff who was on duty when Lucas was treated, but Griff doesn’t remember. Maxie runs in, telling Nathan they need to talk. Griff leaves and Maxie says she needs a favor.

Alexis tells Sonny she’s going to meet with Diane later. He asks if she’s all right and she says she will be eventually. He says he’s there if she needs him. Outside, he makes a phone call, asking if it’s all set. Alexis checks her phone. She sees dates marked on the calendar. Hmm…is she really pregnant?

Nina tells Curtis to get something on Claudette quickly, and he says he’s already on it.

Maxie wants Nathan to take Claudette to lunch.

Griff tells Finn it’s great to have him back, and that he looks better. Finn says he doesn’t need Griff monitoring him and that it’s none of his business. Geez.

Hayden tells Tracy they can get the drug without leaving the country. She says she knows someone who can help, but it’s the last person on earth she wanted to ask for a favor. (Her mother?)

Franco gets in the elevator with Elizabeth. She asks how his day is going and he stops the elevator.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Carly for a promise, Maxie asks Nathan if he’s afraid, and Jordan asks if Andre made a decision.

The Real Housewives of NYC

We return to The Countess stomping off from Dorinda’s dinner party. Jules and Dorinda try to get her to come back. The Countess says she came for a drink like she promised and everyone came down on her. Dorinda tells her to call in the morning. In her interview, Dorinda says that The Countess sometimes has a misconception of how she’s viewed.

Dorinda tells the other girls that The Countess has separated herself from the group. Bethenny talks about when The Countess used her Countessness to separate herself early on, and then calls out Ramona for being on her phone. Ramona is texting The Countess an apology. Sonja brings up the Tom thing and how it wasn’t like she was interested in anything serious with him. Everyone talks at once and Jules says they should let The Countess be happy. Bethenny talks about how self-absorbed The Countess is.

Jules tells Bethenny that she’s sometimes the same way, and when she tried to show Bethenny concern, Bethenny ignored her. Jules tells Bethenny she’s sick and tired of Bethenny treating her like she’s stupid. Bethenny talks about Jules baking the measuring cup into the calzone (really, that happened) and Jules says it was a joke. Jules says Bethenny puts people down and thinks it’s funny. We flash back to Bethenny being sarcastic with her. Jules says she’s been genuine and she trusted Bethenny. She says Bethenny has been talking smack about her marriage behind her back.

Bethenny says she never did that and has always said positive things about Michael. Bethenny wants to know who said that. For some reason, Bethenny thinks Jules is indicating it’s Dorinda. Dorinda talks about something that Jules had told her about Michael and we flash back. Dorinda says she did tell Jules to be careful who she talks to about her marriage and her eating disorder. Jules thinks they’re missing the point – that she doesn’t want them talking behind her back. She says they should address her personally.

Bethenny says she’s been distant because she grew up around an eating disorder. Jules tries to talk and Bethenny says let her speak. She says part of the disease is about lying and she’s allowed to protect herself. She says she hasn’t said anything bad about Jules either. In her interview, Bethenny says it was like a bank robber moving in with an FBI agent when Jules joined the group. Jules says she wrestles with her disease all the time, but she’s trying to be accountable, telling them she threw up recently. Sonja says she feels Jules has always been honest. Dorinda thinks Behenny and Carole have been insensitive. Carole says she knows denial when she sees it.

Dorinda says she’s not doing any more events since they all end up being a sh*tshow. Ramona wakes up from her phone trance and decides she wants to take a girls trip to Mohegan Sun. All of the arrangements have been made and they’re leaving on Tuesday, minus The Countess who has a previous engagement. Everyone just rides along on the Ramonacoaster and I’m dumbfounded.

The Countess is walking with Ramona in the city, and tells her that she’s disappointed about the other night. Ramona says she’s disappointed too, because The Countess didn’t feel Ramona had her back. The Countess says that Dorinda told her that Ramona isn’t her friend. In her interview, Ramona says that just because she says something less than positive doesn’t mean she’s not a friend. She points out to The Countess that it takes a year to get over a major upheaval and no one should rush marriage. The Countess says she’s old enough to know better. She tells Ramona not to judge her and it’s none of her business.

She says she doesn’t care about Sonja or anyone else who came before her. In her interview, Ramona wonders why she’s so upset about it then. Ramona tells The Countess that she broke girl code when she scooped Tom out from under another girl who’d been dating him for several months. It sounds like the girl went to the bathroom while they were on a date, and The Countess walked out with him.

The Countess says the only bright side of the evening was Carole. Ramona says Carole suggested they talk. The Countess says she’s going off to Vail with Tom, because she’s the type who dumps her girlfriends the second a guy is in the picture.

Dorinda visits Carole, who says they both seemed to be part of the tirade Jules was having about something that didn’t happen. Adam is there cooking cauliflower pizza. Bethenny arrives. They discuss Bethenny’s medical issues. She’s been getting some kind of IVs to combat the stress. She brings up the dinner party. Carole wonders why Jules singled out Bethenny. Carole isn’t sure what Jules was trying to accomplish besides alienating them.

Bethenny swears she’s been treating Jules like glass and thinks Jules is paranoid because she told Bethenny some secrets, even though Bethenny swears she’d never repeat them. Bethenny says she isn’t mad about it, but she doesn’t want some kind of talk with Jules to make things right. I’m fascinated with Adam’s pizza crust.

Sonja is mapping out her dinner party. Only Dorinda, Jules and their significant others are invited. Jules is also bringing a date for Sonja.

She’s borrowed her brother-in-law’s butler for the evening, and has an intern greeting the guests. I’d forgotten about John until he and Dorinda show up. Michael and Jules bicker outside the door. Eww! Michael’s hair is always slicked back and greasy looking. Mystery guest, Rocco, arrives and Sonja already knows him through mutual acquaintances. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s like a dance of the peacocks. Sonja is happy with the promised Rocco.

The table looks beautiful. John points out how huge the napkins are and Sonja explains that they’re 100 years old and back then, you used the napkin for a week. Huh. Rocco is impressed with the old world vibe. Jules is pleased with her own match making talents.

Dorinda is proud of Jules speaking her mind at the previous dinner party. Jules tells the others about how Bethenny and Carole hit a soft spot. Sonja says that Bethenny’s honesty was great, but she can’t be a real friend with the issues she has. Jules says she and Carole broke her trust and she’s not going to tell them anything personal anymore. Dorinda compliments Sonja on the dinner party.

Ramona has the party bus stocked. If all buses were like this, I’d take them all the time. Sonja just had oral surgery and seems a little loopy. Ramona is glad that they’re off to a good start and we flash back to the Atlantic City debacle from last season. She says they can feel the tension between Bethenny and Jules though.

The Countess is officially engaged. They discuss The Countess and happiness for a while. Sonja is a little disappointed that she’ll be losing a roommate. Bethenny talks to Dorinda about the Jules thing. Jules wonders if they think she’s deaf or want her to hear. Dorinda realizes the volume and removes herself to get a drink.

Jules tells Dorinda she can’t believe the obsession with her. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s nothing new for the bus to split into groups. Bethenny decides to talk to Sonja and tells her that she was hurt when Sonja came to her office to talk about Tipsy Girl. She says she didn’t handle it well. Sonja says she realized she had to step back and gather her thoughts about what she’d done and give Bethenny space. Bethenny says Sonja has a good heart and she wants to let it go.

Next time, Mohegan Sun, lots of drinking, lots of gambling, and The Countess shows off her ring.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian is under the misconceived notion that he’ll be able to raise one of his children from birth. Anna sits in the truck, conferring with Alexis about the wire and testing it. Paul and Jordan are in the truck with Anna. Anna tells Alexis they’re going to do everything they can to keep her safe.

Sonny and Carly talk to Avery about the fireworks like she has a clue. She literally asks for her daddy and imposter Sonny says he’s right there. It must be a real blast when these kids start talking, and yelling things like “WEEWEE!” spontaneously.

Jason and Sam see the picnic on the coffee table. They’re puzzled as to where Ava and Nicholas are. Um…it’s a huge place, put on your thinking caps. In the wine cellar, Ava sees a mouse and her yelling reveals their location. I’ll never understand this fear. In person (mouseson?) mice look like something on a Hallmark card and are about the size of a quarter. Not exactly scary.

Sonny tells Carly about Anna’s plan.

Jordan tells Alexis if there’s any trouble, to let them know immediately. Paul says they’re parked a block away and Alexis says it’s a block too far. Julian arrives with a bouquet of roses that has American flags sticking out from everywhere. He says he wants to do right by her. I think it’s going to take more than flowers.

Jason tells Sam that Nicholas and Ava are coming back up. Sam asks what if Nicholas doesn’t cooperate? Jason says he actually feels sorry for Nicholas, who has everything and threw it all away.

Ava starts hollering about rats and Nicholas tells her it’s not a rat, it’s a field mouse, but Ava is still freaked.

Claudette tells Nathan he owes it to her to listen to what she has to say. She says she’s been out of work for a while and decided to expand her job search. She goes on about how Maxie is like the sister she never had. She says when Maxie mentioned her fiance and showed her Nathan’s picture, she was blown away. Nathan isn’t buying it and thinks she tracked Maxie down on purpose. He says she’s leaving, but Claudette says she doesn’t think so.

Nathan says it didn’t take long for her personality to change. Claudette says she’s not going to let him order her around. She says he was always able to support himself because he had a safety net, but she never had that. She trips down Memory Lane a little about their relationship. Nathan says she set him up and not for the first time. She says she has to admit he’s brave and dedicated, so maybe he could admit she’s moderately talented in graphic design. He says she’s excellent at it, and they talk about old times again.

Ava hears thunder. Nicholas says they can get pretty big storms there around this time of year. He adds that Ava doesn’t seem like the type who would get frightened easily, and suggests they go upstairs before the power goes out.

Carly says no matter what they think about Julian, he’s the father of Alexis’s children, and she doesn’t think Alexis will be able to pull it off. Sonny says he accidentally on purpose told Julian about the pregnancy, so he might be more pliable.

Alexis tells Julian she’s scared. He apologizes about the pregnancy test. Alexis says she understands trust has been broken on both sides. He says he wants to repair the damage in their relationship. Alexis says she’s tired and terrified of going to prison. She says with the baby coming, they have to try and salvage what they had. She tells Julian that she’s working on a new defense strategy with Diane.

Julian says he’s come up with something else. Alexis ask if he’s going to confess and he pulls out the dagger in a plastic bag. Seriously, where was he hiding that? In his pocket? Is that a dagger or are you happy to see me?

Ava asks if Nicholas grew up there and he says until he was sixteen. He says his uncle raised him until Helena staged a coup, but eventually the uncle got his power back. They toast to no more surprises. I think they have one…never mind, there they are.

Claudette tries to get Nathan to look at the fireworks. Nathan says he told Maxie the truth about her. He says Claudette doesn’t know the meaning of the word honesty and she asks if he and Maxie do. He says Claudette thrives on chaos and thinks the only reason she’s there is to cause trouble for him. Claudette says she’s not, but she could.

Carly and Sonny watch the fireworks with Avery. Sonny says he knows he gets caught up in business and other daily life things, but there are moments that are perfect like this one. Aww!

Jason asks how Nicholas wants to do this – cooperate or Jason can beat him, hogtie him and drag him out. Jason says he doesn’t know why Nicholas is throwing his life away, but he’s going to exonerate himself. Ava says he has no authority to take Nicholas anywhere. Sam suggests they call the embassy. Ava says the first person they’ll arrest is Jason.

Alexis asks how Julian got the murder weapon. Jordan calls the station. Julian says it’s the only piece of evidence they have, and now it’s out of police hands. He says by the time they find out, it will be destroyed. Alexis acts grateful. Julian asks if she really thought he’d let her go to prison. He says now that she’s pregnant, he’s even more determined to keep them together. She asks outright if he framed her for a murder he committed.

Ava says Jason is a fugitive and Sam is aiding and abetting. Sam asks how Ava got involved and she says it was a coincidence, which Sam doesn’t believe. Jason tells Nicholas to sit down and hold the daily newspaper up, so the headline and date can be seen. Nicholas balks and Sam says Jason has kicked his ass before and asks if he wants to go another round. Ava suggests he just do what they ask. Jason takes pictures and sends them to the PCPD.

Jordan says the evidence is gone and they could pick Julian up for evidence tampering. Alexis asks if Julian left just enough blood on the dagger to frame her. Julian says he’d never do that and he thought he’d wiped it all off. She mentions their altercation over the bloody shirt and he says she means everything to him. Alexis says it didn’t seem that way then and that she didn’t think he cared until she told him about the baby. He says he’d never intentionally set her up for a crime he committed. He says he killed Carrrlos because he didn’t want him talking and causing them to be separated.

Claudette brings up the shooting. Nathan asks what happened to her lover. She says they haven’t kept in touch, but she’s sure he’s fine. She says all three of them were wrong and made mistakes, and she’s sorry she hurt him. Nathan asks if she’s going to turn him in. Claudette is appalled at the idea and says people change. Nathan asks what she wants and Claudette says to make peace. She just wants to live her life and work with Maxie.

Nathan says it’s never going to happen. He says she cheated on him and broke his heart and she can’t take it back. Claudette says she gets that he hates her, but the job at Crimson was a perfect fit and she hoped they could make peace. She says she’ll leave in the morning, but he says she’s going tonight. She tells him she’ll go, but she really is sorry.

Apparently the cameraman is practicing a crane shot, as we see Carly and Sonny talking about Dante and Lulu’s house from above. Carly knows Sonny intervened. As the camera swoops down, he says he’s a concerned father, but she says he’s a raging control freak. He says she loves him anyway and she says she does and is grateful for him minimizing the violence. They kiss.

Ava mentions Alexis’s pregnancy, which Sam hadn’t known about. Sam says she has to get back to Port Charles. She asks Jason if he wants her to call Dante. Nicholas says once the storm sets in, they can forget about calling or texting anybody.

Jordan wants to get Alexis out of there, but Anna wants it to play out. Paul agrees with Anna. Alexis says she found it hard to accept that Julian killed Carrrlos to keep them together. Julian says if Carrrlos had told the cops he ordered the hit on Duke, he would have gone to prison. Jordan takes the recording and says she’ll be back with an arrest warrant. The least they could do at this point is drive a little closer. Alexis tells Julian she understands and it’s for better or for worse. Julian promises they’ll be all right and Alexis agrees. He moves to hug her and she steps back. She should just act sick and throw up on him. It probably wouldn’t be that hard.

Sam asks what the blip Nicholas was thinking. She wonders if the pain of his family meant less to him than money. Ava says now that they have the picture, Nicholas doesn’t have to go back. Nicholas says he can’t run anymore and he promises there will be no repercussions for Ava. The storm gets worse. Jason realizes the boat isn’t coming back tonight and Sam says it will be one helluva sleep-over.

Carly puts Avery to bed. She wants Sonny to call Anna. Sonny wants her to note that he hasn’t made one call all evening and she thanks him for not being married to his cell phone. I do too. I hate that. Carly says as soon as Julian goes to jail, they can concentrate on their family.

Julian is like what’s up? He says he thought Alexis understood him, but now she won’t let him touch her. Geez, she could make up a million pregnancy excuses for this

Nathan knocks on Claudette’s door, saying everything is ready. He opens it to find Maxie there with Claudette.

Tomorrow, Nathan asks Maxie what she’s doing there (seriously?), Kristina kisses Aaron, and Anna tells Paul they have to arrest Julian now.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Jules definitely has the best tagline – An Asian and a Jew walked into a bar, then they had me! – but I wonder if she’ll make it to another season since it’s her one claim to screen time.

Bethenny’s make-up dude had that fat freezing thing done and I cringe, having read articles about it and knowing how painful it is. Bethenny is launching some chocolates for her final bow at SkinnyGirl. Ramona comes by with flowers. She offers to read in the other room so that Bethenny has company. Very Ramonish.

It’s the pink wig appearance. I remember reading about this in the tabloids.

Sonja and Ramona take a dance lesson. They want to learn hip moves, but something that a more mature woman can pull off. I guess they mean not twerking, which I don’t think anybody should be doing. It looks like they’re having a good time. Ramona talks about the shift in position between Sonja and The Countess as far as the group goes. Sonja is concerned about how quickly things are moving with The Countess and Tom, but Ramona thinks The Countess is being too self-absorbed. Sonja says the dance moves are similar to the “Mashed Potato” and I think everything old is new again.

Carole comes to Bethenny’s product launch. Bethenny looks really cool in her scarlet wig with a fashion forward cut, and black and white colorblock dress. The product is being premiered in a candy store called Eye Candy that looks amazing, and there are a skabillion people in line outside. Bethenny says since she doesn’t have family, she wants Carole to be proud of her.

Having ESP, Carole tells Bethenny she’s proud of her. They discuss Bethenny’s upcoming surgery, which she’s very nervous about. Carole offers to come with her. I like Carole. She seems more like a normal person.

Jules visits her plastic surgeon. She’s concerned about the accident she had and wonders if her who-ha will ever return to normal. The doctor says it will take some time, but it’s a temporary condition. Her gynecologist told her the same thing, but she’s double-checking. The surgeon gives her an examination and says it looks a lot better and eventually all will be well. Jules’s other storyline.

Carole accompanies Bethenny to meet a doctor, and they talk in the limo. Someone has suggested that Bethenny get a second opinion, but Carole says if you doctor shop, you’ll always find someone who will tell you what you want to hear and no one wants surgery. Bethenny is conflicted as to which doctor to use and says she’s interviewed everyone in Manhattan.

Bethenny tells the new doctor about having her IUD removed, and it being a bloodbath afterward. She says out of the options she was given, she’d decided to get the fibroids removed, but after researching it, she wants to make sure it’s the right choice. Dr. Schwartz suggests taking progesterone and giving the body a chance to heal itself. In her interview, Bethenny is concerned that she’s just being told what she wants to hear. There’s no winning here.

Ramona, Carole and Dorinda come by Bethenny’s place. Bethenny is appreciative of their support during her health crisis. Dorinda tells her that she looks much better and Bethenny says she slept for the first time in a while after taking the progesterone. Bethenny has canceled the surgery and tells the ladies about Dr. Schwartz. They discuss birth control methods and surgeries.

Bethenny asks Carole if there’s any hope of reconciliation between her and The Countess. Carole says The Countess hasn’t reached out in a genuine way. In her interview, Dorinda is like, why are we talking about this again? Ramona tells them about her conversation with The Countess, and how she claimed she’d extended an olive branch to Carole and Carole should make the next move. Carole says The Countess confused the high road with her high horse. Bethenny talks about her lunch with The Countess and how she’d never seen anyone so self-absorbed.

Ramona says she’s like the old Countess when they’d first met her. Dorinda isn’t relating because she wasn’t on the scene back then. Bethenny gives Dorinda and Ramona bathing suits. Why? I’m not sure. Ramona calls her bra a “brassiere” and much fun is made of it.

Dorinda meets The Countess for breakfast. Dorinda asks The Countess if she’s coming to her dinner, but The Countess isn’t feeling well. Dorinda says if she wants to get back with the girls, she needs to get back with the girls. The Countess asks why she would want to and Dorinda says that’s a decision she needs to make. The Countess gets annoyed when Dorinda tells her what Ramona said, believing that Ramona is two-faced. She thinks the girls are just jealous.

Dorinda doesn’t want her not to be part of the group. She suggests The Countess show up for a short time. The Countess says she’s not avoiding the group, she’s just in love, but she’ll come if Dorinda will run interference.

Dorinda’s dinner time! It’s in one of those beautiful Manhattan restaurants with brick walls and tiny white lights. In her interview, The Countess says she’s disappointed in Ramona. She wants to confront her about talking behind her back. Carole says she’s going to keep it light and bright with The Countess.

Bethenny says she’s not feeling too great and The Countess has to add that she isn’t either. They talk about Tom moving in and The Countess says he’s been ring shopping. The Countess goes on about what a great match Tom is for her. Carole says they’re celebrating tonight, and The Countess is surprised that Carole is the only one who seems genuinely happy for her.

Sonja arrives, feeling trepidation at seeing Bethenny. We flash back to the Skinny/Tipsy Girl confrontation. Bethenny just wants to move on at this point. Hallelujah, Jules’s who-ha is just about normal. Ramona comes in, saying she found them by their voices. She expresses displeasure at how loudly they were discussing who-ha issues and Bethenny tells her to grow up. She says Ramona loves to make an entrance and get attention.

The Countess confronts Ramona about what she told Dorinda. She tells Ramona that she should just be happy for her. Ramona is miffed that Dorinda told The Countess about their conversation. The Countess says if she’s a friend, she’ll be happy for her and not talk smack behind her back. In her interview, The Countess says she’d thought they’d moved on from that kind of thing. Ramona says she only said something to Dorinda because Dorinda hasn’t known The Countess long. In Ramonaland, this makes it okay.

Bethenny says the three of them – Sonja, The Countess and Ramona – live in a small circle and seem to date the same guys. The infamous Harry is brought up and we see flashbacks. I’ve always wondered what it is Harry has that attracts the ladies. And they always stay friends with him. Bethenny says they all dated Tom too, and it’s pointed out that Sonja has been “friends” with him for ten years. Apparently, there’s some conflicting stories about the duration of their friendship, as Tom claims it was fleeting. Although I see no reason that Sonja would lie about that. The Countess says whatever happened before she and Tom got together doesn’t matter to her. She says all her friends are happy for her except them. She amends that to say Carole has been supportive. She gets up, saying she doesn’t feel well, and stomps off.

Next time, The Countess complains to Dorinda, Jules confronts Bethenny, and Ramona suggests a Mohegan Sun girls trip.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan nearly walks in on Maxie messing with her wedding dress. She screams at him to get out. She puts the dress away and asks why he’s there. He says he was able to take some time off and thought they could hang out together. She asks how much he saw of the dress and he says enough to know it’s gorgeous. He asks why she even had it there and she says she was making sure it was perfect, but now it’s cursed.

Griff is obviously distressed. Anna asks if he could use a friendly ear. She asks if they’re friends and he says she was cordial at the Nurses Ball, but he thought she was just faking it. She says it was one thing to find out he was a priest, but another to see him give last rites to the man who murdered his father. Anna says she realized she didn’t have to understand his reasons, just that he believes differently. She wants them to stay good friends, not just because of Duke, but because he’s been supportive of her in other ways. She asks how he became a priest and why he didn’t tell her. He asks how well she knows Nathan.

Morgan brings Carly flowers and she asks what he wants. Ha-ha! He says he’s just thanking her for being a good mom. He adds that he’s also in a good mood over Kiki. Carly says they must have had some chat last night. He says she must think he’s manic, but she says she knows the difference between that and a good mood. He says Kiki decided to give him another chance, after he’d stupidly broken up with her the last time she visited. Carly doesn’t want him pinning his recovery on another person. Morgan says he and Kiki have a bond like Carly and Sonny. Carly says they’re not exactly the best example, which is an understatement. Morgan says Kiki almost got interested in Dillon.

Dillon meets with Kiki. He tells her he doesn’t want to give her up without a fight. Dillon says he thought he was being the good guy by bowing out gracefully. He tells Kiki that there’s been so much drama in her and Morgan’s relationship, that it’s blurred reality. He says he cares about her and she deserves to be happy. She says Morgan needs her and what if Morgan is the person who makes her happy? Dillon says if that was the case, they wouldn’t be starting over for the millionth time.

Julian grabs Sonny’s arm and says he’s lying, and that Alexis can’t be pregnant because he doesn’t know how babies are made. Sonny tells Julian not to touch him. He tells Julian that after he framed Alexis for Carrrlos’s murder, she finally got a clue as to who he really is. He says he’s going to find a way to put Julian behind bars or in the ground.

Alexis looks over old photos of her daughters. She tells herself she can do this.

Morgan tells Carly about seeing Kiki kiss Dillon and that he showed up when Morgan was at Kiki’s place. He says Kiki told him that there was nothing going on with Dillon in comparison to what they have. He says Dillon isn’t keeping boundaries though, so he needs to talk to him. Carly tells him that she loves him and to be careful.

Kiki tells Dillon he’s a great guy. He says if it’s the start of a letting-him-down speech, stop now. She says he’s going to find someone wonderful. He thanks her for the compliments, but asks if there’s a small part of her that wants to pursue things with him. She says she can’t. He says, can’t or won’t?

Julian shows up at his home, asking Alexis if it’s true that she’s pregnant. She threatens to call the police, but tells him it’s true. Julian asks why she didn’t tell him and she says why bother? He asks how far along she is and she tells him to get out. He says they need to make plans. She says what kind of plans, pre-natal care while she’s incarcerated or him taking the baby while she’s in jail? She says he married her under false pretenses and she’s not thinking of getting rid of the baby; she’s thinking about how to keep it away from him. He says he’d never hurt her and she says that’s all he does. He tells her to calm down for the baby’s sake. She smacks him and tells him to never mention the baby again. She says he might not get punished and she might go to prison, but he’s never getting near her child.

Morgan goes to meet Kiki at the bar and sees Sonny. Morgan asks if Sonny can give him a job. Sonny says he’s opening a new coffeehouse and Morgan can work there. Morgan is excited about Kiki and Sonny tells him not to rely on one person to keep his bearings. Morgan says Kiki is the one who matters most.

Dillon says if Kiki is reconnecting with Morgan out of a sense of obligation, it’s a disservice to all three of them. He says obviously she’s drawn into the chaos that surrounds Morgan, but she should at least consider the alternative, being in a relationship that doesn’t include drama. They kiss and Carly sees them.

Maxie goes on about a one-of-a-kind dress from Lisbon turning into doom. She tells Nathan their luck has sucked and she wanted this one thing to be problem free. Nathan says he seems to be putting her through one thing after another. She says she’s no prize either. He says if she had her heart set on the dress, just wear it. She reconsiders how perfect it was and says she’s going to look for the real perfect dress.

Anna tells Griff that she’s worked closely with Nathan and he’s been kind to her. Griff says he got into a situation between Maxie and Nathan and isn’t sure he handled it properly. She asks if he’s interested in Maxie, but he says no way. Although he’s on leave, he’s still a priest. Anna asks why he left the priesthood. Let me add here that he never answered her first question about how he became a priest in the first place. He says he tried to provide support for a woman who said her husband was cold and cruel, and he allowed himself to be seduced. He says he chose to break his vows and it ended horribly. Anna asks if he was able to help her and Griff said she didn’t really need help, that she lied about her husband, and in the end, they all paid a terrible price.

Sonny says one of the problems with being bi-polar is that when you’re in a good mood, people worry. Morgan says he knows that he has a support system if things go bad, and Kiki isn’t his entire world, but she’s important. Sonny tells him to take his time. Morgan says he is.

Kiki and Dillon continue to kiss. Carly disappears. Kiki says she can’t right now and Dillon says he respects that. He says that he said what he came to say and has to get back to work. He doesn’t want to pressure her, but wants her to think about things.

Julian says he can’t believe the anger and hate coming out of what should be an amazing moment, because he’s delusional. He says all Alexis can talk about is keeping him from his child. Alexis says she’s going to prison because of him, but then again, he never takes responsibility for anything. He says he loves her and the love is even greater now. He says something has to change and they need to rethink how they’re going to proceed. Not exactly saying he’s going to take his own heat.

Maxie tells Nathan their relationship has been filled with complications and obstacles, and she just wanted something to go right, but in the end, it’s just the two of them that matter.

Anna asks if Griff is in trouble. He says he’s already said too much and the rest of it is between God and the people involved. He asks about Alexis getting arrested. Anna says she’s a good investigator and one way or another, Julian will pay for what he’s done. Griff says not to neglect her own needs and that he thinks Duke would want her to find someone. She says first she has to gather evidence.

Alexis asks what Julian means by rethinking things. She says they can’t change what happened, but Julian says maybe they can change some things. He says he didn’t realize the toll it would take on her going to trial. He asks her to allow him to show her how much he loves her. Alexis still isn’t getting her question answered and asks if he’s going to still make her stand trial for what he did.

Griff ponders things. He flashes back to a night of passion with Claudette, which isn’t exactly The Thornbirds.

Nathan and Maxie discuss wedding dates. She picks one and he asks if it’s not too soon. She says it’s not soon enough.

A woman we don’t see looks at Nathan and Maxie’s engagement announcement on her tablet.

Morgan approaches Dillon at the bar. He tells Dillon that he and Kiki are back together. He says don’t take it the wrong way, but he thinks it’s best that Dillon keep his distance from Kiki for now.

Carly asks Kiki what the hell she thinks she’s doing to her son.

Anna visits Sonny. He asks why she doesn’t seem to trust him after all they’ve been through. She says her trust is limited and conditional. Sonny says if what they’re doing doesn’t work out, he’ll find a way to get Julian. Anna says the last thing she wants to do is investigate Sonny for murder. He says it’s not necessary – Julian took his bait. Oh…

Alexis tells Julian to promise she won’t stand trial for Carrrlos’s murder because he’s going to confess. He says there’s one more thing. And gives her a pregnancy test. I call him several names out loud.

Tomorrw, Carly confonts Kiki, Finn is in jail, and Alexis tells Julian to confess first before she takes the test.

The Real Housewives of NYC

I’m glad the Wednesday shows got shuffled around so I can watch MasterChef and Wayward Pines. While a lot of critics were unhappy with the changes to Pines, I ‘m enjoying the move forward.

The girls are meeting for lunch or dinner or some meal. They trickle in. Jules is still hurting from her whoha accident. She shows a picture to Bethenny, who says she’s scarred for life now. Why do people have to memorialize everything on their phones? I hope she didn’t put that on her Facebook page.

Bethenny talks about her own whoha problems. She tears up, talking about how Dorinda went to the appointment with her. She doesn’t have any family and I can relate.

In this restaurant, you make your own pizza. My first on-the-books job was making pizzas. I didn’t eat them for years afterward. Carole talks to Jules about Jules’s eating disorder, and in her interview, Jules wishes they could get through one food activity without talking about it. The guy takes the pizzas to bake. Ramona, who got her pizza baked ahead of the others, is leaving early to meet a friend. She takes her pizza with her. On the restaurant’s plate.

Jules and Dorinda go out for a smoke and Carole and Bethenny discuss Jules. Carole says she claims to weigh 115, but Bethenny thinks Jules must be talking ounces. She thinks Jules is still in the middle of it and not dealing with it. The ladies regather, and their pizza creations come out. Jules has made something more like a calzone. Inside, there’s a fork, knife and measuring cup. Is Jules nuts? Dorinda thinks maybe her pain meds are getting to her.

Carole talks to Jules about her eating habits. Jules also takes Adderall, which concerns Carole as well. Jules, however, says she’s fine. Not once did I ever cook a fork in a pizza. Not even during the 70s.

Heather, who was on the previous two seasons, gets together with Carole and their men, to go skating. It’s the winter village at Bryant Park. The girls go for a drink, while Adam and Jon continue skating. Carole talks about the cookbook that she and Adam are creating and how they can’t get past the proposal. Heather suggests taking a break from it for a while. Carole tells Heather about the calzone. Carole thinks Jules is playing games with her food, which is something people who have eating disorders do.

Dorinda visits Jules. Jules tells her about Carole being annoying. She felt like Carole and Bethenny were picking on her and says that Bethenny makes jokes at other people’s expense. She says she’ll have her guard up with Bethenny now and Dorinda says she should talk to her. I dunno about that. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels responsible for Jules, since she brought her on board.

Jules says that when she had her accident, she couldn’t get ahold of her husband and her brother had to take her to the ER. Since they’ve filed for divorce since the show started airing, I look at everything suspiciously. He doesn’t seem to be much of a caretaker with the kids either. Dorinda says women are perceived as super human. Right on, sister. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels Jules’s unhappiness.

Bethenny is going for a pre-op check up. The doctor wants the bleeding, which has been excessive, to slow before she has surgery. Her driver, Kevin, thinks she just needs bed rest, since she’s moving 24/7. In her interview, Bethenny says she spends more time with Kevin than anyone else and there’s a lot of TMI. Apparently so.

Sonja says she’s a high class hoarder and I have to agree. The basement of her townhouse is chock full of everything you can imagine. Dorinda is coming over to help her purge. She’s pretty helpful, especially when Sonja wants to keep things like every baby toy her daughter ever had. Sonja talks about her ex-husband and says she’s over him, but not over the family situation. She doesn’t want to give up the sense of family attached to the objects.

They talk about the Tipsy Girl thing. Sonja says she texted Bethenny, saying that life is short and it sounds like they’re in a slightly better place. She doesn’t want it to be extra stress for Bethenny. Too bad she didn’t think of that in the first place.

While in the car, Bethenny talks to her assistant about a living will. The doctor has told her it’s going to be a major surgery and this is something she needs to have. She calls another friend, upset that she also has to sign something about her uterus being taken out in the event of her hemorrhaging. She’s feeling lonely, since she has no family to turn to. Kevin tells her it will be all right. This is actually sad.

The Countess creates a night out for everyone. Tom isn’t there, but she’s meeting him later. She says she thinks Tom is going to propose on Valentine’s Day. She talks about having a party in Palm Beach. In her interview, Sonja expresses surprise at The Countess and Tom being serious about one another. Ramona tells Dorinda that The Countess hasn’t reached out to Carole in a more meaningful way in regard to an apology.

Dorinda thinks The Countess and Tom are moving fast, but she’s happy for them. Ramona calls The Countess over to the side. She tells The Countess that she’s on the outs with Bethenny and Carole. The Countess asks if she looks like someone who gives a flying. She’s miffed that they didn’t even RSVP. Ramona says she fumbled the ball with Carole. She thinks The Countess should have followed up. Yeah, we saw how well that went with Bethenny. She says she apologized and invited Carole to the party and that should be enough.

The Countess says she doesn’t care any more, but Ramona keeps telling her to go for a cup of tea with Carole, because she’s oblivious to anything but the sound of her own voice. The Countess tells Ramona she loves her, but she’s done. Jules is talking to Dorinda about Carole picking on her eating habits. Ramona joins them. Ramona repeats the whole thing that just happened with The Countess, who then horns in on the conversation. At this point, The Countess thinks Carole should apologize to her. She says she’s not inviting Carole to her wedding and Bethenny is questionable.

Next time, Dorinda tells The Countess that she needs to be more involved with the show other women, Bethenny opens up to Carole about the surgery, and The Countess complains about the ladies not being happy for her.

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina has a vision of Franco as a Zorro type guy. He flings the furniture aside, approaching her and declaring his love. He grabs her and passionately kisses her.

Elizabeth is in the process of moving. She brings a bunch of boxes in and shows Jake the new toaster she got. Franco knocks at the door, bringing her a housewarming gift of a toaster.

Morgan tells Kiki he’s been released. He says he’s officially not a threat to himself or anyone else. Kiki coughs all over him. She tells him she’d thought they could still be friends. Morgan says he knows he pushed her away. He says he was a huge jerk to break up with her and he’s sorry he did it. She says it was a real surprise. He doesn’t want to go into it, but he says her mom convinced him she’d be better off without him.

Sam opens the hotel room door where Ava had been staying in London. She and Jason are looking for clues. Sam finds a card from the art dealer Ava was supposed to meet with. She calls, pretending to be Ava’s assistant, claiming to be looking for a lost umbrella.

Hux demands the real statue from Ava. Weeping Nyad? Nyack? What the blip is it? She says the only one she had was the one he just smashed. She says she had it authenticated. She tells him she’s not lying, but Nicholas – who is no help – says she is.

Maxie comes into Nina’s office, where Nina is still fantasizing. She tells Nina to snap out of it and says that the designer, Ma-Ha Chang, is giving her first choice of the new bridal line.

Franco says Jake called him and wanted him to come over, but he didn’t think Elizabeth would be cool with that, so he used a housewarming gift as an excuse.

Nicholas makes up some stuff about Ava, saying she was going to sell the fake statue until Hux waylayed her. Hux asks where his property is. She tells him it’s in her room at the hotel. But weren’t they leaving for the airport? This is making less sense as it goes along.

Maxie wants a dress that’s going to photograph well, since they’ll be looking at the wedding pictures for the rest of their lives. Nina asks her to stop talking and says she’s never going to be a bride or find love ever again. She says she should never have broken up with Franco.

Elizabeth makes toast with the new toaster. Jake says his dad isn’t answering his calls or texts, and Elizabeth reminds him that Jason had something he needed to do. Franco suggests drawing a special picture for him.

Sam finds out that Ava never made the meeting. Jason says Nicholas never made his flight either. Jason thinks they took off together, but Sam says her stuff is still here and wonders how they could have just disappeared.

Hux tells Ava that the statue better be there. He leaves and Nicholas asks what he’s going to find.

Morgan tells Kiki not to be mad at Ava, she was just trying to protect her daughter. He says she was right, but he’s stable now. He says his mind isn’t all over the place anymore and he thinks before he acts. He wants to try again with her. He says the thought of making her happy kept her going and she was the light at the end of his tunnel, and instead of telling her how he felt, he pushed her away. He says if it’s too late, he understands.

Maxie tells Nina she’s smart, beautiful and talented and she’ll find love again. She adds that Franco set the bar pretty low, but Nina says they were amazing together. She says she went to Franco for a booty call, but he wondered what that would do to their relationship. She says it was a mistake, because she really wants them to get back together. She wonders if they still have a chance.

Elizabeth says it was nice of Franco to promote Jason and he says he’s jealous of him. He says Jason loves Sam and he wishes he could be as clear in his relationship with Nina. He tells her about Nina wanting him back, but doesn’t know what he wants, even though he’s been thinking about her night and day.

Morgan tells Kiki about seeing her and Dillon kissing. She says she’s sorry, but he says she has nothing to be sorry about. Dillon comes in with her prescription, some candles and food.

Ava tells Nicholas he’s the one who said she had the real statue. He said he was just buying time and she says see where that got them – tied together back to back. He asks if she doesn’t have the orginal stashed away, but she says she thought the one she had was the real one.

Sam says maybe Nicholas and Ava took off for an overnight. Jason finds their boarding passes and Sam says maybe they’re having an affair. Hux is at the door. Good thing he’s talking to himself, giving them warning.

Kiki tells Dillon that Morgan was just released from the clinic. Morgan says sorry, and he’ll take off. Dillon says there’s enough food for all of them. Morgan says he forgot his prescription at the hospital and leaves. Dillon asks what he missed.

Nina asks Maxie if she thinks Franco will come back. Maxie says they broke up for important reasons, like the baby thing. Nina says she didn’t believe him when he said it would be fine with just them. Maxie asks if she’s changed her mind and Nina says seeing him with Jake at the Nurses Ball just confirmed that he should be a father. She says she’s accepted that she can’t have a baby and for whatever reasons Franco has, he doesn’t want to be a father. Maxie asks if Franco knows that and she says she wanted to tell him in person.

Nina decides to text Franco, but she hears something from inside one of the packages. Maxie says at least it’s not ticking and Nina asks if bombs still tick.

Franco talks to Elizabeth about how Nina blossomed into a confident woman before him and he blew her off. He realized later he made a mistake and now he doesn’t know what he wants and thinks he should give up on relationships completely. Elizabeth asks him where this is coming from.

Nicholas says if he dies, Spencer will think he was abandoned. He says they have to work together and find a way out. They manage to stand up.

Hux sneaks into Ava’s room. He starts going through the drawers, throwing things around. Where Sam and Jason went is a mystery, and why he doesn’t find them is a bigger mystery.

Nina asks if they should call the bomb squad. Maxie says no one is trying to blow them up, just blow their minds. It’s a sample from a sex toy place that’s been trying to get the magazine’s attention. Maxie looks it over, even though we don’t see it. She marvels at the accessories.

Franco says ever since Jason started remembering things, he’s been reminded of all the horrible things he’d ever done. He says he was pretending he wasn’t that guy anymore and was someone who could love and was capable of being loved. Elizabeth tells him to stop whining.

Kiki and Dillon sit down to eat. She apologizes to Dillon and he says she’s been nothing but clear with him. He thinks she should sort through her feelings now that Morgan is out, and to take as much time as she needs. He leaves.

Nicholas says they have to find something to cut the ropes. Ava finds a letter opener. She says it’s valuable and rare, and Nicholas adds that it’s also dull. She tries to cut the rope with it anyway.

Morgan picks up his pills from the desk at the hospital and runs into Kiki.

Hux calls home, saying he’s abandoning his search and to make sure his guests aren’t getting into trouble. When he leaves, Jason and Sam come out. Jason says they have no other leads, so they should go to Lynch Manor, where Hux lives.

Ava and Nicholas have freed themselves. He says since she was a criminal, she must know about picking locks. She says she was a mobster, not a cat burglar, but messes with the lock anyway.

Maxie explains sex toys to Nina, but she says nothing will ever replace Franco. She decides to text him.

Elizabeth tells Franco he’s being pathetic. She says he’s not all bad like he used to be and she knows he was trying hard. She says he only occasionally gives her the creeps now. He says it was never his intention to creep her out. She says he was her friend when no one else was. He says everyone should have a friend and asks if she believes he’s really changed. She says she does. He asks her to promise to think of him when she makes toast. He kisses her. What?

Tomorrow, Sam says this could cost Jason his freedom, Morgan and Kiki talk, and Hux catches Ava and Nicholas.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Puppies! Carole is at some kind of photo shoot for a dog wedding charity event. The bride belongs to The Fat Jew, who is a big animal advocate. Notable New York dog lovers were invited to be in the wedding party, and Carole’s dog, Baby, is taking part. I go out of my mind at the canine cuteness.

Dorinda is out shopping with Jules, who actually seems like a normal human. Of course, I look at all the scenes with Jules through an upcoming-divorce lens. Dorinda tells her about how great Sonja looks since she quit drinking.

Ramona visits Sonja. Sonja tells Ramona that she’s not drinking and she’s been working out. In her interview, Ramona says that Sonja is kind of a mean drunk. They hug it out and we see flashbacks of their friendship. They talk about the dog wedding and move on to Bethenny. Ramona says she was pretty adamant about not wanting Sonja or The Countess to come on the trip to Mexico. Ramona tells Sonja that she should apologize to Bethenny and if she starts screaming, just ignore it and keep saying sorry. Sonja says she has a tendency to ramble. Truth!

Dorinda wants Sonja and The Countess to come on the trip to Mexico. She thinks everyone should just grow up and deal. Dorinda says she talked to Tom’s ex-girlfriend who claimed that Ramona only dated him once and Ramona is exaggerating. Maybe through the pinot haze, it just seemed like seven dates.

Sonja and Ramona role play, with Ramona being Bethenny. She also corrects Sonja along the way. In her interview, Ramona says the odds are that Sonja won’t even remember her instructions, but she has hope.

Carole meets Bethenny at STK. Bethenny has a doctor’s appointment for the next day. It’s a gynecological issue and Bethenny thinks a previous IUD might have led to the problem. She tells Carole about her meeting with The Countess. She says she’s paying a lot of money for the trip and she only wants grown ups along. Subsequently, she got a text from The Countess, thanking her for the invitation to Mexico and saying she’ll be glad to come. Carole says Sonja keeps texting her and she knows Sonja is hoping for an invite. She says she likes Sonja when she’s not drinking and Bethenny calls The Countess an emotional vampire. I agree that she’s probably pretty taxing.

Jules and Michael are meeting with the CEO of Praeger’s Foods. Jules wants to start a business using a family recipe for a “clearing tonic,” whatever that is, that she wants to get out there. I’m assuming it’s similar to a cleansing product. CEO Larry is married to a friend of hers and helping her out. He’s brought samples for them to try out. Jules says doing a project like this helps in her recovery from her eating disorder. Michael compares her getting all of this together behind his back to cheating and I go, hmm… She makes a divorce joke and I hmm… again.

Bethenny and Dorinda meet at Home Goods. Bethenny says the store is like porn to her and I totally understand. Home Goods is one of my favorite places in the world. I even have fun watching them shop. They discuss The Countess, who Bethenny says is in her own world. She tells Dorinda about The Countess inviting herself to Mexico, and now she has to dis-invite her from a trip she didn’t invite her on. Bethenny tells Dorinda about her medical problem and says she’s going to the doctor directly after this. She’s worried that it will interfere with the Mexico trip. Dorinda asks to come along to the doctor. They leave the store in a sudden rush.

It’s time for the dog wedding! Jules finally found a new nanny. She doesn’t speak English, but they’re working through it. Sonja comes over with her dog. Jules is having her make-up done and offers Sonja a piece of the action. Jules tells her about a freak accident she recently had and shows pictures from her phone. Lots of TMI.

Carole goes to Bethenny’s place. Bethenny’s assistant shows her the bridesmaids dress. It probably cost thousands.

Jules’s hair and make-up people arrive and tend to her and Sonja. Sonja tells Jules about her rehearsed apology to Bethenny. Earlier Sonja said something about her people not being able to change the name Tipsy Girl, and I wonder if she signed something already. Of course she could impress upon them that Bethenny can sue her. Not that I think she’d bother, since we will never see a real product from Sonja anyway.

Commercial break. I’m dying to see The Secret Life of Pets, but I’ve swore off anything PG-13 or under. The last time I saw a PG-13 movie, I felt like I was in the middle of a field trip bus.

Bethenny is going to need surgery. She lost a lot of blood and has huge fibroids that need to be removed. She’ll have to be in the hospital for three days. One of the options is a hysterectomy which freaks Bethenny out. She’s upset about having to cancel the trip, but Dorinda wisely says that it’s good she went to the doctor now, and didn’t end up in a Mexican hospital. She offers to tell everyone for Bethenny, who doesn’t want to deal with it.

Carole says the dog wedding is the wedding of the year. It is quite amazing. And more cuteness! Dorinda says it’s nicer than her wedding. She adds that her dog doesn’t fit in, being a country bumpkin. Columnist Cindy Adams officiates. She must be 110. This is horrible, but I’d actually thought she was dead.

The bridal party walks up the aisle. The bride is a gorgeous a cocker spaniel and the groom is an adorable Chihuahua in a top hat. Ten grand is raised for puppy mill rescues. Afterwards, drinks are served and Dorinda lets everyone know that the trip is off. She says Bethenny is going to be out of commission for medical reasons, but Bethenny can fill in the details. Ramona is disappointed that she can’t wear her new bathing suit, and shows her Instagram pic. Sonja is disappointed because now the apology is postponed. Ramona cuts the cake herself. Is she supposed to be doing that?

Next time, Sonja declutters, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Bethenny freaks out.