What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason leaves a message for Julian to call him back. I’m so sure you can do that at a prison. Not really.

Sam waits for take-out at Kelly’s. Michael comes in, and she tells him Jason is home. She asks if Michael is okay, but when he says that he’s fine, she’s not buying it. He tells her that he could use her advice.

Nelle admires Nina’s flowers, and asks if it’s something Valentin did wrong or something she did right. Nina says neither, and Nelle tells her to hang on to him. Nina asks if running into Bobbie and Carly was as terrible as she thought it would be. Nelle says that she faked it, but doesn’t think she’s going to make it.

At the hospital, Carly and Sonny talk about the foundation they’ve created in Morgan’s name. Carly says that if it helps one kid, it will be worth it. They go into the chapel. She can’t believe it’s been almost a year tomorrow. Sonny says that time flies, but at the same time, seems like it just stands still. Carly thanks him for being there. Griff walks in and says that he’s sorry to intrude. Sonny tells him that it’s a chapel, not a motel, and asks what’s going on.

Elizabeth sees Franco schlepping boxes through the hall, and accuses him of sneaking out of the house. She asks if she can help him set up, and drops everything all over the place, which isn’t much help. She sees a sketch of the twin painting, and looks through the pad, where there’s an entire series. She asks why.

Huxley asks Patient 6 if the date on the newspaper is a misprint or not. It could be worth a pretty penny if it is. Patient 6 says, October 1^st, 2017, and Huxley is disappointed. He thought for once he blundered into something lucrative. Patient 6 confirms the date on Huxley’s phone, and says, five years.

Nina tells Nelle that it couldn’t have been that bad. Nelle says that Michael was happy to see her, but Bobbie couldn’t help herself, making her feel like the town pariah. Nina asks if Michael defended her, but she didn’t wait. Nelle asks why she would want him to be miserable; he loves his family, even if she doesn’t care about them. He says the right things, trusts her, and believes in her. Nina thinks that Nelle isn’t sure if she believes him.

Michael tells Sam that normally he’d go to Jason, but he’s not the same. He doesn’t love Jason any lees, but he isn’t the same. Sam tells him to find a way to find a new normal. He’ll get there, just like she and Jason did.

Curtis goes to Jason’s place, and welcomes him home. Jason is like, no flowers or teddy bear? Curtis asks how about a six-pack and a stakeout? Jason isn’t down with that, and Curtis asks if he’s not ready to get back in the saddle. Jason tells Curtis that he’s changing saddles. Curtis says sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for the ones you love.

Sonny asks if Griff found what he was looking for in Russia, surprising Carly, who didn’t know he was there. Griff says that Ava was in danger and being held against her will, but he brought her back. Carly wonders if Griff thinks the experienced changed her, and she’s now whole in body and spirit. Griff says she’s not whole, and Carly says that tomorrow it will be one year that Morgan is gone. Griff expresses his sympathy, and he’s sure Ava feels the same way. He knows how they feel, and respects it, but says they’ll have to agree to disagree. She was someone willing to abandon her own healing to save a stranger.

Patient 6 asks Huxley if he can work the phone, but Huxley says he’ll have to be untied first. Patient 6 tells him not to try anything. Huxley says he wouldn’t dream of it. Patient 6 says that he’s lost, and could kill Huxley without meaning to. Huxley says he’s no fool, and has a healthy instinct for self-preservation. Patient 6 has attacked him already, and he’s not going for a second time. Patient 6 unties him, and Huxley makes a weird, kind of mean face.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he thought the person who bought the painting would like to see the process; sketches to line drawings to the final product. Elizabeth points out that they were done in the last couple of weeks; they weren’t part of the process. She asks why he’s obsessed. If there were no twins, why are they haunting him? He says he hasn’t been completely honest.

Franco was going to tell her, but he gave his word to Betsy. He tells Elizabeth not to take it personally; she didn’t want anyone to know. He tells her that Jason summoned him to the long-term care facility, and asked to see the photo, but he said he didn’t know where it was. Elizabeth asks why, if it was just a picture of him and a childhood friend? Franco says that according to Betsy, Jason had a twin, but it wasn’t him. The other boy is Jason’s twin brother.

Jason tells Curtis that he had a strange visit from Franco when he was in a coma. It sounds crazy, but he remembers Franco being there, and can quote what he said. He gave Jason an excuse as to why he was there, but Jason doesn’t believe it. Julian calls, and Curtis jets. Jason says that he thought he might be hearing from him.

Nelle says that Nina didn’t hire her to talk about her problems. She tells Nina that they got something from the Morgan Corrinthos Foundation, and that tomorrow is the anniversary of his death. Nina says no wonder Michael has been more emotional, and it’s probably why he’s been more defensive than usual. Nelle says that being honest, it’s not as if they don’t have reason to think the worst of her. Carly found out about something in her past, and they think she’s after Michael’s money, and that she’d even be willing to kill for it.

Sam asks if Michael believe that Nelle killed Zack. He says no way, but just because he doesn’t believe she’s a murderer, doesn’t mean she’s not lying about something. He’s not sure if she’s not telling him the whole truth because she’s scared or insecure. Sam says maybe both. She tells Michael about being a con woman when she first came to Port Charles, and that she lied for no reason because it was a way of life. He asks how she turned it around, and she says, Jason.

Carly wishes Griff well, but says that Ava is toxic. He should call Olivia-Q and Dante, and ask about Connie. Ava murdered her in cold blood, but maybe she’s an angel now. Griff says that he’ll pray for Morgan tomorrow. He leaves, and Carly tells Sonny that she didn’t want to do that. Today should be about hope and loving and putting a light into the world. She misses Morgan, and says it’s never going to get better. Sonny asks if she wants it to. She shakes her head, and leans on his shoulder.

Sam tells Michael that Jason was the first person who accepted her and her past. He had no reason to, and it changed her life. Michael says that’s what he wants to be for Nelle, but doesn’t know the way that Jason did. Sam tells him that he needs to investigate Nelle. He can’t help unless he has all the facts. Curtis comes in, and tells Sam that he just left Jason, and he’s looking good. She introduces Michael, and says that he needs a P.I. Michael tells her everything’s cool, and to go see Jason.

Michael tells Curtis that he needs an investigation into an accidental death. Curtis wonders how accidental, and Michael says that there is a person of interest – his girlfriend.

Nina wonders why Carly would think Nelle killed someone. She tells Nelle that her own past isn’t squeaky clean, but then again, it’s none of her business. She says that Nelle will just get defensive talking about her past. She should focus on the future. Nelle asks if Nina has a lot of baggage, and Nina tells her that she has an 18-wheeler full. Carly has a mother’s instinct to be protective, and Nelle needs to show, not talk about her past innocence. She should put her attention on her life, work, and her man, and show that she doesn’t care. Nina went from a sketchy past to running a magazine. She’s respected, focused, and honest, and actions are all that matter in the end.

Franco tells Elizabeth that the twin’s name is Andrew. She wonders how the Quartermaines didn’t know about him, and he says Andrew was given to Betsy to raise. She asks where he is now, and Franco tells her that he had a bad heart, and died shortly after the photo was taken. In Betsy’s misguided attempt to protect him, she’d said that he didn’t exist; that’s where the imaginary friend came from. He wasn’t so imaginary. It’s a wonder he’s not more screwed up. He apologizes to Elizabeth, saying that he was just trying to protect Betsy – and himself. He doesn’t want anything to change between them, and thought if she knew Jason had twin, it would tug on her heart. He hopes she can somehow forgive him

On the phone, Jason says that Julian won’t regret it. Sam comes in, and asks what’s going on. Jason says that it’s a surprise he’s planning, and starts checking out the food. He asks if they’re expecting more people or if she’s pregnant again. Sam wants to know what secret he’s keeping, and he says he’ll tell her as soon as he gets back from New York. He won’t be there long. Sam says he’s not going.

Patient 6 looks for photos with a date stamp on Huxley’s phone. Huxley yammers about pictures of pieces of art, and how the coffers were depleted in hi family home. He asks what’s so important about a date? Patient 6 says that he ran into some trouble, and lost track of time.

Carly thought this would be the answer, and they could turn their loss into something positive. Sonny says the loss will never change, but at least they’re not doing it alone. She thinks Morgan would be happy that they’re doing it together. It’s crazy that he can’t see it for himself, and they have to imagine who he would have become. Sonny suggests he would have turned Perks into a symbol on the stock exchange, but Carly thinks he’d want more freedom, and be a snowboarder or join the Peace Corps. Sonny says he can see it, and Morgan would have had a good life. Carly says the best.

Patient 6 gives the phone back, saying it’s not staged; there’s no fake data. Huxley realizes that Patient 6 thought he was running a con. He says he’s been known to dabble in grey areas, but what would be the point in setting him up. Patient 6 says that it’s all real.

Jason tells Sam that his trip is about them and they’re new life. She asks why the mystery? She tells him that just because he was released, that doesn’t mean he’s fully recovered, and he shouldn’t be galivanting around NYC. She says he can go on two non-negotiable conditions – she’s coming with him, and he needs the green light from his doctor. Jason says they can galivant together.

Franco wishes he had been more honest. Elizabeth tells him that her heart breaks for Andrew, him, and Jason. She thinks Jason deserves to know, but Franco asks what difference it makes? Does she really want to turn his life upside down? Betsy is also terrified that she can get into trouble if the truth comes out. Elizabeth says there’s a statute of limitations, and Franco says from the law, but not the Quartermaines, which is why he was hesitant to say anything. He says she’s in a hurry to protect Jason, but Elizabeth says she’s protecting him.

Carly says now the dreams they had for Morgan will be dreams for other kids through the foundation. Sonny says they’re going to make it, and she says that she knows.

Curtis asks Michael if this is the same woman who tried to break up his parents’ marriage. Michael says that she made herself indispensable, and could have done anything; they wouldn’t have seen it coming. Curtis says it’s a lot to wrap his brain around. Aside from the dead fiancé, is there anything else? Michael tells him about Nelle lying about losing the engagement ring. Curtis tells him the case looks pricey with travel expenses, and Michael says that money is no object. Curtis says it shouldn’t be have to prove that she’s guilty, but Michael says that he misunderstood. He wants Curtis to prove her innocence.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s doing a great job, considering she knew nothing about fashion when she started. She says that she likes to be proven right, and Nelle says actions speak louder than words. Nina says just do you, and the rest will fall into place. Nina leaves, and Nelle gets on the computer. She makes a call, and says even though they don’t know her, she could use their help.

Elizabeth doesn’t want Franco harboring another big secret, especially about Jason. It will just fester and eat away at him, and he already has a lot to process. Franco says that he needs time for things to settle. She tells him that keeping the truth to himself will just tie him up in knots. The harder he tries to hide it, the more power it gives to it. It won’t end well, especially for him.

Griff sees Sam and Jason at the hospital. Sam says they’ve come for a follow-up appointment before Jason takes her to NYC. Griff tells them to have fun, and Sam asks if he had fun in Russia. Jason wonders why he called Sam, and Griff says that he doesn’t even have her number in his contacts. Sam says the call came from his phone; she called it back and got his voicemail. It was just before Jason was released. Griff says it definitely wasn’t him. They wonder who was it?

Michael tells Curtis that Nelle is probably guilty of something else, and used to covering up; it’s her default setting. Curtis says it sounds like he’s setting himself up. Is he sure he wants to open that can of worms? He’ll find out what it is, but Michael might not like it. Michael just wants the truth. He tells Curtis to bring him the facts, and he’ll handle the rest.

Nelle makes plans to meet someone. She understands what’s involved, and is sure she’s doing the right thing.

Carly tells Sonny that she misses Morgan, and sees him everywhere, like in Avery’s smile. Sonny says he’s still with them every day everywhere. He hopes they can make him proud. Carly says that no one is prouder than they were of Morgan. Sonny lights a candle.

Sam tells Griff the wires must have gotten crossed since he was out of the country. Jason is called in. Griff tells them to enjoy NYC. When they’re gone, Griff asks Nurse Tara to look in the file for Sam’s cell phone number.

Patient 6 peeks out the door, but Huxley pushes it shut. He asks where Patient 6 might be going, reminding him that he’s a stowaway, and the authorities will be called if he’s caught. He says inside this room, there’s a vow of silence, but don’t put them both at risk. He’s had a nasty shock, and might not be in his right mind. Patient 6 says, no, he’s not, and walks out.

Franco and Elizabeth see Jason leaving his follow-up. Elizabeth says to wait. There’s something they need to tell him.

Tomorrow, Nathan says it will be over soon, Kristina’s parents wonder why she didn’t tell them that she quit school, and Huxley asks if someone is waiting for Patient 6.

The Real Housewives of Orange County

Vicki is waiting at a restaurant for Tamra. She says that she and Tamra used to be like Thelma and Louise. We flash back to some of their antics. She says they’ve been through ups and downs, and were always there for each other. She misses that. Tamra thinks Vicki has seen what she’s done, and wants to apologize and make things better. Vicki expects Tamra to give her a hug and say that she’s done fighting. Let’s put the hatchet down and be kind to each other.

Tamra comes in, and asks what’s up. Vicki wants them to be kind and stop the madness. Tamra insists she is kind, and asks how she’s hurt Vicki. Vicki says that Tamra went after her character, and Tamra tells her to calm down; it’s not a good look. I hate when people say calm down to someone who’s already calm. It’s a control thing. Vicki wants the bullying to stop. Tamra insists that she hasn’t tried to team people against Vicki, and asks what Eddie has ever done to Vicki. Why would he be with her if he was gay? Vicki says to possibly use her. Tamra says for what? She talked him into the gym, and he walked away from a $400K job. Vicki says she just wants Tamra to be kind. Tamra says it just dawned on her – Vicki doesn’t deserve her. She walks out. In her interview, Vicki feels like she failed, and doesn’t know what she could have done differently. Her intent was to move forward, but it didn’t work.

She calls Steve and tells him it didn’t go well. Tamra walked out, and there was no resolution. He says either she wants to move forward or doesn’t, and since she doesn’t, Vicki needs to let it go. Vicki is sad, and Steve says that Tamra is trying to win something, but at the end, nobody wins.

Tamra tells Eddie that she walked out. He tells her that Vicki is full of it. Tamra says she did what she could (not really), and expected an apology that she didn’t get (when was there time?).

Peggy and Diko go out for an anniversary dinner. He says twenty-two years ago, they were still trying to get where they’re at now, and there wasn’t an opportunity to go out to dinner. Peggy says she’s enjoyed their life wherever they’ve been at. Diko talks about his first luxury car being more expensive than their house. In her interview, Peggy says anyone who tells you that marriage isn’t a struggle is lying, and you don’t throw in the towel. Staying faithful, respect, honesty, and making fun of each other makes a marriage work. Diko asks if she’s finalized the guest list, and she tells him that all the girls are coming. She thinks that Kelly and Tamra might be uncomfortable if Vicki comes. He hopes they don’t embarrass him and Peggy. In her interview, Peggy says she won’t have a problem showing them the door if they do.

Peggy asks how Diko feels about the situation with David. We flash back to David getting all up in Peggy’s business. Peggy says it’s hurtful to question whether she had cancer or not, and David should focus on his own family. Diko says that David doesn’t know what it’s like to think you’re going to lose your wife of twenty plus years. In her interview, Peggy says because of experiences, your love grows deeper, and she doesn’t know what she would have done without him.

Kelly and her father, Frank, are doing some cooking. She says he was a super involved dad who came to all her events when she was growing up. He tells her about his volunteer work, and she wishes her mom would do that. Bobbi arrives, and Peggy says that Frank wants to go to the senior center with her. Bobbi says she’ll go by herself. Kelly tells Frank not to talk about Bobbi’s family to Michael. Bobbi says that Frank is a gossiper. In her interview, Kelly says they were married thirty years, but should have split earlier. She says growing up she watched them fight so much, she wished they’d get divorced. She tells us that she and Michael fight a lot in front of their daughter. She thought keeping it together for her was the right thing, but it might be more important for her to see happy parents. My note: As Dr. Phil says, the only thing worse than coming from a broken home is living in one.

Lydia and Judy go shopping. Lydia’s grandfather recently passed away, and her parents inherited a bunch of money. She says they’ve always been well-off, but now it’s like Paris Hilton level wealth. Her mom didn’t grow up wealthy. Her dad came from Italy to start over, and Lydia thinks that’s why Judy gets a rush out of spoiling her. Her mom is turning sixty-nine, and makes obvious jokes. In her interview, Lydia says that her mom is loud and silly, but her dad is super quiet and reserved. They go crazy and rack up an $18K tab. Lydia says when it’s her own money she feels responsible, but with her mom, it’s like Monopoly money. On their way out, Judy suggests the do more damage elsewhere.

Kelly tells us that she and her dad are very close. He reminds her of the time he used the restroom at her high school. When he came out, he said that he just lost five pounds, and she said that she didn’t know they had scales in there. They go down Memory Lane about her high school and college days. Kelly says that her dad always went above and beyond. She thinks it was better with her mom this time, and he says they’re all family. Just because they’re divorced, it doesn’t make them enemies. Kelly wishes her mom could get along for the sake of getting along, but she holds animosities. Kelly is afraid that her daughter will be the same way, since she’s an introvert. She sees similarities in her marriage, and it scares her that things are repeating themselves.

Everyone heads to Peggy’s party. Lydia realizes she didn’t bring a present. Doug says that their presence is their present. No, just no. Peggy wants them to get to know the Armenian culture, so they’re having it at an Armenian restaurant where there will be hookahs and belly dancing. In her interview, she says no one has been able to get Tamra and Vicki together, but they can’t say no to Koko, and tries to bribe him to intervene. I swear they spelled that kid’s name with two C’s when he was introduced. The guests trickle in. Peggy has a backless dress with one of those necklaces that cascades down her back, and it’s gorgeous. Not that anyone looks like a slouch. Vicki comes in and the whispering begins. Vicki thinks they’re adults, and should be able to get along.

Peggy distracts Tamra, Shannon, and Kelly by leading them outside to the hookah. Tamra takes a drag, but nothing happens. She says they need the mari-ja-uana. Shannon tells her you have to light it first. They talk about 420, a term that I never even heard until a few years ago, and I came up during the 70s and 80s. Diko comes out with something to put in it. Yep. Putting something in the bowl and lighting it is usually a requirement of any pipe.

One of the guests jokes that all Armenians are named Raffi or Ari. Diko tells Koko to stay with Vicki. She jokes with him. Peggy makes announcement – she’s hungry; sit down. Michael is the only husband at the mean girls table. Vicki think the power struggle is immature and childish. The food comes out, and Tamra says it’s her jam. In her interview, Vicki thinks celebrating 22 years is incredible. She’s hoping for that with Steve, but she’ll be old. Kelly can’t believe it, and isn’t too sure she and Michael will last that long. The dancer comes out, and everyone claps to the beat. Diko puts money in the waistband of her skirt. Koko is mesmerized. Shannon gets up, and puts money in her bra, and sort of dances with her. Tamra throws money in the air. Peggy dances. Tamra says that Peggy is in her element, and left her resting bitch face at home

Peggy clinks a spoon on a glass, then she drops it. Diko is like, no more for you. She says it’s their twenty-second anniversary. It’s been a difficult year, but she’s grateful and thankful for her family. Tamra says all three of her marriages didn’t add up to that long. In her interview, Peggy says that she doesn’t remember life before Diko. He says that he feels lucky, and wishes everyone the same. He tells them that every year he buys a duplicate gift for himself and Peggy. This year it’s rose gold Piguet watches. He also gives her a twenty-two-carat necklace. Meghan is totally jealous, and wants one too.   Shannon says it depends on the year, but she gets things like a bread maker. Kelly says Michael used to spoil her, but when the nookie stopped, so did the presents.

Diko wants to talk to Shannon outside. He tells her that David is awesome, and he’s only had good things to say about him, and he doesn’t want to give the wrong impression. He says that when he and Doug were talking about Peggy’s health, he started asking questions about her having cancer, to the point where it felt like an interrogation. In her interview, Shannon thinks that if Diko has a problem with her husband, he should talk to him. I dunno. Maybe since you tell everyone who will listen about how Vicki was in on a cancer scam, he felt the need to discuss it with you. Diko tells her that he told Peggy about it, and she’s sensitive about what she went through. He thinks David was being rude. Tamra inserts herself into the conversation, and wonders what now? with Shannon. Diko wonders if he didn’t make himself clear, and wanted to talk to Shannon, in case she got wind of it. He doesn’t want to make it a big deal, but feels that it’s being made into one. Kelly and Peggy join them. In her interview, Peggy says she doesn’t mind the audience, since it will prevent Shannon from twisting things around. Don’t be so sure, Peggy. All of these women think we have short term memory loss. Tamra says that Peggy made it confusing. In her interview, Peggy wonders what part of I had breast cancer they don’t understand. Diko apologizes if he’s misreading things, and says it’s all good. Shannon says that she’s sorry if Peggy was offended. Peggy says she was hurt, and that’s why Diko talked to her, but everything is okay.

Shannon gets in the car, and Tamra asks her what’s wrong. She says she’s in shock. In her interview, Tamra tells us that Shannon is overreacting, like we don’t notice. Shannon insists that her husband would never interrogate someone, and if Diko had an issue with David, he should have talked to him. She’s already been through one cancer ordeal. Really? Is this what we’re calling Brooks lying to Vicki now? Shannon’s cancer ordeal? She hopes that Peggy is healthy, but she’s not getting involved. Don’t make her responsible for her husband. But it’s okay that Vicki is responsible for her weight. This woman is seriously irritating me now.

Next time, the ladies get an aura reading, Shannon won’t shut up, and Peggy asks if Shannon trusts her husband.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Cary claims that Brandi made it up what she’s accusing Cary of saying. Stephanie says that Brandi called her afterward. Cary expected to hold LeeAnne accountable, and instead alleged that Cary trashed her doctor. She repeats that Brandi is making it up. In her interview, LeeAnne says that the issue has always been Cary. Stephanie wants to move on, but Cary says there’s no way she’s hanging out. She can’t even look at Brandi. She and Kameron are going back. In her interview, Kameron says that true friends don’t put you in these positions, and she has Cary’s back.

The others wander around the town. D’Andra wants to be on the fun train, not the bitchy train. They go to another bar, where there’s more drinking, and dancing on the bar. LeeAnne takes pictures. Stephanie tells us that tequila and D’Andra go hand in hand. The more D’Andra drinks, the more she likes her. Back at the hotel, Cary and Kameron do sheet masks.

It’s day three. Kameron asks Cary how she is. Kameron feels confused. Kameron says that Brandi and Stephanie weren’t being friends, but acted like it when they were all hanging at the hot tub. She doesn’t like shady, and the way they pretend to like LeeAnne and Cary looks truthful. She says they’re pulling back because they prefer sugar-coating things, but she and Cary don’t act like they’re in high school. We flash back to the wiener burial.

Stephanie and Brandi talk about dancing on the bar. Stephanie says they’re going to save the wiener’s ass. They go to LeeAnne and D’Andra’s room, where they’re having breakfast. Brandi is filming on her phone, and LeeAnne films back. Brandi says she wants the wiener (which she’s named Sexual Chocolate) back. LeeAnne says he’s totally gone, and it’s not going to happen.

Everyone gathers for breakfast. Cary says they’re going to do fun stuff on the beach. Brandi says that she didn’t think addressing the situation between LeeAnne and Cary would turn into issue between her and Cary. D’Andra says they’re going to do a team challenge; two on each team. They’ll have to work together despite their conflicts. She tells us it causes a bond to form when they have to rely on the other person.

An obstacle course has been set up. The object is to get a ball into a bucket at the end. They spin around a pole a bunch of times, roll under a net, dig the ball out of the sand, and put it in the bucket. Kameron says she has proof of athletic genes, and Brandi says she’s more like Big Bird. The whole thing is actually pretty funny. LeeAnne complains about her boobs hurting from her surgery, but refuses to give up. A volleyball game is next. D’Andra is pumped. She says that Kameron is like a baby giraffe finding its legs; she can find the ball, but just swats at it. LeeAnne claims that she single-handedly won the game.

A picnic has been set up under a gazebo on the beach. D’Andra says it was worth a few moments of peace. Brandi calls the picnic sophisticated. Cary asks about Stephanie’s new house, and Stephanie explains about how it’s closer to her son’s new school. Cary tells her that it’s hard to do two different drop-offs, and not to feel guilty about doing the right thing. She wants to go back to the hotel, so she can wash the sand out of her vagina, and Brandi thinks Kameron has a double-standard. If Brandi had said that, she’d be appalled. I have to say that I love the beach, but hate the sand, which gets into places you wouldn’t even think it could.

Brandi and Stephanie go on a mission to find Sexual Chocolate. Brandi needs to harass Kameron one more time. They pose as LeeAnne and D’Andra, and get the key from the hotel desk. Brandi makes a big deal out of saying things like she’s been in a lot of movies, and knows Jennifer Lopez because they were in an elevator together. She tells the clerk that she needs to get into her room to take her pills. Surprisingly, they get the key. I think mostly because the clerk doesn’t understand half of what they’re saying, and probably just wants them to go away. When they get into the room, Stephanie starts eating LeeAnne’s leftover pancakes, and Brandi looks around. Stephanie finds SC under LeeAnne’s pillow. She accuses LeeAnne of using it, and says bad girl.

The ladies board a gorgeous yacht. D’Andra tells us that she’s no stranger to yachts, and if anyone misbehaves, she’ll throw them overboard. They do shots of tequila, and take selfies. Cary complains about the wind. The captain points out Enoch Reef, where there are sea turtles, various rays, and colorful fish. Kameron has questions about how Brandi, Stephanie, and Cary can sit there. She knows how they feel about LeeAnne, but they haven’t once expressed it to her. Brandi says that Kameron is full of it.

D’Andra admits that they said something so bad about LeeAnne’s fiancé, she couldn’t repeat it. We flash back to Brandi saying he has a little ding-a-ling. In her interview, D’Andra says it’s a huge secret about something small. LeeAnne doesn’t have an issue with it, and Cary admits she shouldn’t have said it, but she was joking around. Brandi doesn’t want to be in the middle. She tells them that LeeAnne had thinks to say about Cary’s husband, and she thinks everyone should own their own sh*t. Cary says that her husband is amazing, and she wants the rumors to stop; they’re not funny. In her interview, LeeAnne says they would be the first bi couple in the Housewives franchise, and they should go for it.

The water starts to get rough. Cary has vertigo, and says boats are her worst nightmare. D’Andra says that the only thing that would get her sick is another fight. Stephanie is on the floor. Cary points out that she had five shots of tequila. Stephanie gets sick over the side of the boat, and says there go LeeAnne’s pancakes. Brandi says if Stephanie throws up on her, she’ll be sad, and has another shot. She tells Cary that she loves to hate LeeAnne, and hates to love her, because it always goes bad. LeeAnne tells them that they don’t have to say whatever they think is funny. She says that Cary acts like she’s a good person, saying mean sh*t, but then apologizing. Cary says that she hears things that are damaging and hurtful, and lashes back. She doesn’t think it’s okay, but she panics. Cary gets all weepy, and wonders why it’s happening again. LeeAnne says that she owns what she says; she doesn’t joke about it or take it back five seconds later. Cary apologizes again for the joke, and says if they hear rumors, they shouldn’t repeat them. Stephanie says that something has been bothering her, and she wants to be honest. She wants to see LeeAnne’s boobs.

LeeAnne says that she sucks, and she’s going to find SC and chase her with it. Brandi says that she’ll show LeeAnne SC if LeeAnne will show her boobs. LeeAnne says that she might be the type to threaten a person, but she’s also physically beyond conservative. (I’m not sure what that means. Am I supposed to translate that to sexually conservative?) She can’t believe she hid it, and now Brandi ended up getting it back. Brandi pulls SC out of her bag, and goofs around with it. She tries to poke Kameron’s bare feet, and LeeAnne says it hurts Kameron’s feelings, and to cut it out. Kameron doesn’t understand why it’s funny. In her interview, Brandi says that she feels sorry for Kameron. She did cross boundaries, but did she do it intentionally? Absolutely.

Kameron sits with D’Andra and Cary on shore, and they have another drink. Kameron says that they have no respect, and are just trashy. D’Andra tells her that reacting only adds more fuel to the fire. Kameron whines that they never stop. They’d just talked about respect, but they have no boundaries. Cary tells her to ignore them. In her interview, Kameron says she doesn’t like them. She tried to like them, but now she won’t even try to get to know them.

LeeAnne says that no one is in the position to have a real conversation.

Kameron says that unless they apologize, she’s not going back. They can suck it. D’Andra and Cary laugh, and ask her exactly what she means by that.

Next time, Cary tells Mark about what LeeAnne said, Stephanie doesn’t know what happened with Kameron, and LeeAnne goes crazy on Cary.

LeeAnne’s Engagement Backdrop…