What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Is it Friday yet? Sleeping Beauty Sonny wakes up, while Ava and Julian take baby Avery out to dinner to celebrate her homecoming. I have the feeling Avery is probably ready for surf ‘n’ turf or at least lo mien.

“Jake” picked up Elizabeth’s phone while she was in the bathroom and knows she got a call from Hayden. Well, it probably has Nicholas’s number, so who knows what he must be thinking.

Kiki whines to Franco that she has nothing to do and no one to do it with. He suggests she move into Silas’s apartment with him and Nina, but Nina’s not too keen on that idea and I don’t blame her. Who wants this millennial whiner around them? Let’s see, she’s gorgeous, has money (I’m sure Silas left her some and she has the apartment) and is halfway intelligent (although not much evidence of that lately). Can’t she find somewhere to go? I’ve found her annoying for a while, but it could just be that I miss Kristen Alderson. A lot. Nina also doesn’t want to live in the “death apartment.” Again, good luck finding one that isn’t in Port Charles.

“Jake” says he wasn’t snooping, but he wanted to know what call upset Elizabeth so much. Patrick and Sam show up announcing their engagement, and Elizabeth is happier than they are. Patrick and Elizabeth get called to the hospital to deal with Sonny. Sam complains a little about significant others who are doctors and nurses, and have to go to work at a moment’s notice. Sounds good to me. Maybe not so much with nurses, but marrying a doctor must be great. They’re never home and they make a lot of money. Whoa. “Jake” has an amazing memory for things other than his identity. He remembered the phone number he saw on Elizabeth’s phone and has Sam look it up on her tablet.

Laura shows up at Windermere, and is wondering what’s up with Hayden being there. Nicholas has given Hayden some baloney about how Helena told her who Jake is, but not him. Okay. Like anyone is stupid enough to believe that. Elizabeth calls Nicholas and he seems to think that Hayden doesn’t remember anything. Does this mean he’s believing Hayden or falling for her? Hayden is hip to the fact that she’s making Laura nervous, and says she’ll find somewhere else to live. Seriously? Doesn’t this house have like 110 rooms? They never even have to see each other. Laura says it’s okay and that Hayden should stay.

Kiki gives a lot of exposition for new viewers as to what’s happened up until now with Nina, under the guise of telling Nina how sorry she is. No one talks like this IRL and it always makes me laugh. I’m not crazy about Nina’s dress. I love the style, but it’s some kind of cherry blossom pattern or something that looks like streaks of blood.

Paul says the same thing that every politician says when they get in office – he got left with a mess. He and Tracy discuss how reliable information from Michael might be. It’s probably about as reliable as information from anyone on this show. Paul says he’s going to talk to Michael. Fat lot of good this will do him.

I got confused for a second when Carly tells Sonny he had a seizure when they were about to get married. I’d totally forgotten they decided to do it in the hospital. Patrick tells Sonny that anxiety is a common side effect of anesthesia. Really? I’ve only had it once and it was the best sleep I ever had. He tests Sonny’s reflexes and I wonder if those are fake feet, because Sonny doesn’t react and I don’t know if anyone is that good of an actor. It’s making me move my feet. I’m still wondering why Sonny thought “Jake” was Jason, since they really look nothing like each other. (I’d also swear “Jake” was shorter, but I’ll let that pass.) Was it something in “Jake’s” eyes, or did Sonny wake up psychic? That would be a fun plotline. He could get together with Olivia and they could start a business.

Nina is like, no way am I moving in with Kiki, but Franco wants to do the right thing, with a side benefit of bugging Ava. I love these two together because they’re more fun than corny. Roger Howarth is aging well and looking handsome. He doesn’t seem to be the type who’d get Botox or something, so good. Kiki shows up at (I guess) The Floating Rib where Julian and Ava are. Ava wants to make peace, but Kiki just wants to drink. I hear you, Kiki. How many earrings is Kiki wearing? It looks like 4 or 5. Kiki throws back the rest of her drink and storms off.

How is it that “Jake” is so damn smart, but can’t figure out even one clue as to who he really is?

Back at the ranch Silas’s apartment, Kiki is back and Nina says they’re all going to be one big happy family there, making Kiki, the audience, and probably Franco, wondering when her change of mind happened.

Nicholas tells Laura he “has feelings for” Hayden. I hate that phrase. It makes me cringe inside. Laura wonders how well it’s going to go, since he tried to have Hayden killed a few months ago. Nicholas says that a guy has the right to change his mind. Not really, but that sounded good.

Geez, Sonny isn’t awake 10 seconds before Carly is pushing for another marriage ceremony. Patrick has told him it’s too early to tell if he’ll be able to walk again, and he doesn’t want to marry her until he finds out. Way to stall.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Major flashback episode from when Alex and Brad moved into the neighborhood. Marcie and Randall welcome them and the couples get together for an evening of drinking.  They do some dancing in Alex and Brad’s living room. I always find this kind of thing a little weird, since nobody does this IRL unless it’s a party. Afterwards, after Marcie & Randall leave, Alex wants to get all lovey dovey, and ditto the other two at their house. They keep showing us the clock and I’m not sure why. Uh-oh, something went wrong at Alex and Brad’s. They’ve finished before they started and she does not look happy. OMG – Alex is looking out the window and sees the other couple. Quick like a bunny, Randall closes the curtains, but not before he sees Alex catching a glimpse. This is another thing I don’t think people do in real life, unless they’re voyeurs. Speaking for myself, I can’t think of one neighbor I’ve ever had that I’d want to catch in flagrante. Nope. Not one. And I’ve had quite a few neighbors.

Randall sees Alex outside the next morning and says, sorry, they’re used to the house being empty. I can actually relate to this. I once lived on the top floor of an apartment building in Queens. When they decided to go co-op, as renters left, they stopped renting out apartments. For over a year, it was just me and a single gay man on my floor, and I got used to doing things like taking the garbage out in my underwear. I had to be really careful to check myself when new people finally started moving in.

We jump to a few years later. Both Marcie and Brad are at work and Randall goes over to see Alex. He says he’s been hugging her a little too long at the end of the night when they double-date, adding that it seems to be reciprocal. I’m actually feeling a little sick to my stomach, since I know what the outcome is going to be. Randall says he’s seen her peeping at them when they’re going at it. Hmm…why are they still leaving the curtains open? When people moved into my apartment building, I stopped taking out the garbage half-naked. Alex wisely tells him to get lost. Obviously, we know this doesn’t last. Then he goes to kiss her good-by. Alex rebuffs him, but he’s still going on about their chemistry. One of the reasons I’ve never liked Randall is that he can’t take a hint.

For whatever reason, Randall is helping Alex paint a room. They’re getting a little too close while opening a stuck window, and her parents show up! They’re from Deliverance, which is a surprise to me. Her father isn’t happy that Brad isn’t American, and then Randall, who is African American, comes bounding down the stairs without his shirt on. OMG, he calls Randall “a darkie.” So her father is a racist from the backwoods and her mother is a doormat. They leave and good riddance. Alex goes to find Randall and I see where this is headed. They had lots of sex in the shed and that’s where Alex finds him.

Alex is mortified. They hug and, Oh my Tyler Perry!

Alex is dreaming all this and wakes up saying Randall’s name. And Brad is sitting there. Brad says he’s going to make her life hell from now on. I swear, Tyler Perry produces the best soaps ever. The episode endings are nothing short of soapticiously fabulous.

The People’s Couch

I am so glad this show is back. And for an hour this time. I honestly think it’s one of the funniest things on TV. Maybe ever. The simple, and cheap for Bravo, premise is several groups of people watching TV in their respective homes, everything from Empire (a show I would love to indulge in, but I can’t watch everything) to The Real Housewive,  and making comments to each other while they watch. That’s pretty much what I do here. Which is why I need to be on this show, even if I talk to myself.

There are a pair of sisters who are also roommates; three gay guys who are best friends; a pair of sisters who aren’t roommates; a couple and their two teenage sons; female best friends and writing partners, one is gay and one is straight (my personal favorites – and they have 3 little dogs); a dad and his three adult daughters; three older retired ladies; and another couple and their teenage son.

Each group is very funny, and are people you’d love to hang out with. I literally laugh out loud every other minute.

Oooh, we get a sneak peek Teresa’s phone call home from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Below Deck

Back at the schoolyard…I mean, yacht, Rocky has given Emile a note saying she just wants to be friends. Because they are both huge babies. I would hate to work with these two.

The primary guests are a brother and sister (Tracy and Mark) and their spouses. There’s another girl who I assume is someone’s daughter. Right away, in her individual interview, Connie says something snarky about the girl’s appearance. I don’t like that. Yeah, I know I do it sometimes, but I’m not getting a ten thousand dollar tip. If you’re giving me ten grand, I won’t knock your sweater.

The weather is pretty breezy and a storm is coming. A lobster fishing expedition is cut short and they head back to shore. Chef Leon is a real drag, but the gusts are happy with his dishes. The centerpiece is gorgeous too. I’m sure that’s the fun part of the job for the stews, getting to do the creative stuff. New deckhand, Dane, is on anchor watch. It’s been stressed a few times that falling asleep is a huge no-no, which makes me wonder if that’s what’s going to happen, but it doesn’t.

The next day is nicer, so the jet skis are put in the water. Immediately, the first guest out runs over a line and sucks it into the propeller, thus taking more precious time away from outdoor activities. Squalls are coming through. Dane is supposed to get the line un-entangled and is just making more of a mess. Captain Lee is losing patience with this guy quickly. At first, he seemed like a hard worker, but he’s acting more and more like Spicoli from Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

Mark has brought his own wine and wants a tasting menu to go with it. Chef Leon has ordered food from the mainland – groceries, not McDonald’s – and more time is wasted going to pick up his order. The meat is frozen solid. I guess Leon should have been more specific or planned better. Because Kate didn’t have the menu info, everything else got hung up. I understand her frustration with this. I hate when I have to wait for someone to finish their part before I can do my part and they lollygag. Even worse, as Kate has explained earlier, it’s the domino effect – if one person flounders, it goes on down the line and affects everyone.

Captain Lee is dining with the guests. He’s not impressed with Leon’s food, but hopefully, the guests are. Mark seems to have a pretty sophisticated palette. Amy and Kate are super pissed off about Leon taking his sweet time with the whole thing and not caring about them or the guests. Chef Leon makes an appearance and the guests seem happy with his work. Apparently, he should be wearing a jacket to do this and says he doesn’t give a flying. Kate finally calls him out for being the jerk that he is. He says he’ll try to let her know sooner next time, but not to hold her breath. Then he just goes on and on and on about how he doesn’t like Kate and making veiled threats. This guy is the worst. I wouldn’t want to work with him either. Rocky thinks it’s all very funny and I want to slap her.

16 large this week! And because the yacht owners have gotten good feedback about the crew, they’ve been given a freebie night at a resort. Captain Lee gives Dane a mini lecture on responsibility, but he knows it’s going in one ear and out the other. Good job whoever used the words “tax free” in regard to the tip. Shut up.

Dane gets seriously hammered while on the boat on their night off. Ugh! He’s a messy drunk too. I hate that.

Next week looks pretty good. Dane makes more of an idiot of himself and the guests aren’t happy with Chef Leon. And Eddie and Rocky hook up? I’m hoping that one is a dream.