What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Ava is going on a field trip with Avery to the aquarium. Paul shows up at the door with a teddy bear and some guy hanging onto him. Huh? I’m not kidding.

Sonny is back to his old jerk self, telling Carly that if she has a problem with his furniture rearrangement, she can move out. Another huh?

Sam tells Patrick that she and Jason kissed.

Jason tells Nicholas it’s all up to him now.

Tracy tells Hayden that her inbred euro trash prince stole ELQ, and they’re getting it back her way. I laugh because Graham Norton has a game on his talk show called “Gay or Euro Trash?”

Since videos play really slow in Robin’s lab, we see the same thing we saw Friday, with bad dude showing her Emma being tempted to go off with some woman looking for her dog. I swear, if that kid goes off with anyone she doesn’t know, I will denounce Patrick as a bad father. She’s certainly old enough to have been taught not to do that. Geez, you’d think Spencer might have even told her, since he acts like he’s old enough to be somebody’s dad.

Commercial break. It’s that “bad choices” commercial for Prego with the decades of hairdos. It always makes me laugh because I once had a body perm and my father asked why I got an “afro.”

Sonny doesn’t want anything changed to accommodate his wheelchair. Carly gives up talking to him and leaves. She tells the contractor putting in the railings to put them…well, no she didn’t say that, but she’s pretty frustrated. Sonny will be singing a different tune when he crashes into something or wants to take a shower. Sonny tells his henchman, Max, to keep an eye on Ava.

Paul has brought a nanny cam teddy for Ava, but she wonders who he wants to keep an eye on. There was absolutely no explanation about the guy hanging on him who is no longer there. Paul wants Ava to get back to work. Pushy, pushy.

Hayden says no worries, Nicholas is going down. That’s kind of too bad, since I really like them together. I’m hoping she’ll bring him down secretly and then be there to pick up the pieces.

Jason says that Nicholas knew who he was the entire time. I say, please get a clue about Elizabeth. He says the DNA test was 9 months ago and he had to have known.

Awkward moments between Sam and Patrick. She explains that she and Jason were going down Memory Lane about Danny and they kissed. She says that she thought maybe it would bring back memories for him, but it didn’t. Patrick wonders what would have happened if Jason had remembered.

The stranger woman says Emma reminds her of her daughter, Lark. (Wasn’t there a Lark on GH years ago?) Emma tells her that her mother is named after a bird too. The woman wants Emma to help her look for her lost dog, but Emma is like, no way I’m not supposed to go with strangers. The woman says the standard, I’m not a stranger, I’m Bella (the dog) and Lark’s mommy. They give you “info” about themselves so they suddenly seem familiar. Where the blip is Chris Hansen or somebody from Dateline when you need them?

Tracy asks how Hayden can go from playing footsy to blackmail. Hayden says if she told her, Tracy wouldn’t have much use for her. Emma gets grabbed by the woman, and they’re not far away, so when Emma screams, Tracy comes to the rescue (ah-ha! in Nelson voice). The woman disappears by the time Tracy gets there. Back at the lab, Robin brags to bad dude how great her kid is and he says she’s safe…for now.

Sam tells Patrick she still loves him. Patrick barrages her with questions, saying he can’t just wait in the wings while Sam decides what she wants to do because he can’t give her ten minutes to get her bearings. He gets a call from Tracy and runs out the door.

Nicholas says he got no results from the test, so his grandmother must have tampered with it. Oh yeah, blame the old lady. Jason says he has fragments coming back, and that he visited Sam and Danny. Elizabeth has a mini heart attack and he says he’s not going to just cut them out of his life. When Elizabeth leaves, Jason tells Nicholas that he wants the life that was stolen from him back and Nicholas is going to help whether he likes it or not.

Lucas (who I constantly want to call “Nathan”) tells Carly she needs to find a new “target” for Sonny, so he won’t take his anger out on her. Morgan offers to spy on Ava, but Sonny tells him don’t get involved.

Ava tells Paul she’s not sure she’s the right woman for the job, while sporting a lovely smoky eye that matches her outfit beautifully. Paul says he has every confidence in her, and she asks just what he’s actually dealing in. Good luck with that, since after 30 years, we still don’t know what Sonny does.

Lucas suggests a therapist for Sonny. Yeah, like he’s going to go for that one when he won’t even let them put in a railing.

Ava wants to know what merchandise she’ll be moving. She says the more she knows, the easier it is to adapt. Paul says he has to take care of his number one, meaning her, and they kiss. Morgan is at the door hollering – with that guy hanging off of him. What is this? A singles bar?

Bad dude says if there’s a next time, by the time an Amber Alert is issued, Emma will be long gone. Robin says they promised not to harm her family. But bad dude says that’s conditional on her cooperation. Didn’t she know that already?

Patrick arrives at the park, and Emma says she did what she was told to do. (Good job, Patrick!) A policewoman has taken the description of the stranger and Patrick tells Emma, let’s goes home. She asks if Sam and Danny will be there since Danny’s father came back.

Jason says rather than assaulting Nicholas, he’s going to take everything from him and leave him bankrupt. He says he’s going to exercise his right as a Quartermaine and get his ELQ stock back.

Snot rag Elizabeth shows up at Sam’s and says it’s time they talk about Jason. Go away, you lying, scheming witch.

Carly tells Lucas he was the voice of sanity she needed. Too bad they’re not dealing with a sane person (I.e. Sonny). He is rocking a nice beard though. Sonny says he’s the only one allowed to touch Ava. He also has doubts that Morgan will keep his nose out of it.

I guess that guy at Ava’s door is some kind of guard who is a little aggressive. Or has abandonment issues. Ava shoves Paul into another room and allows Morgan to come in. He says he’s there to bring some of Avery’s stuff. She says Morgan is welcome to see Avery whenever he likes.

Patrick asks how Emma found out about Jason. She says Spencer told her, since Patrick couldn’t be bothered. She starts to cry and asks if Sam is going away like her mommy did.

Bad dude says Robin controls what happens to her child. Robin says that Jason is alive now, and knows she wouldn’t willingly leave her family and will look for her. When he finds her, Robin says, bad dude will die. If I was her, I might be keeping that information to myself.

Jason tells Hayden to beat it, it doesn’t concern her, but she won’t leave. Nicholas again passes the buck to his grandmother.

Tyrant Elizabeth wonders why Sam dropped the motorcycle off in the middle of the night. She says Jason is still her fiancé. Sam says Jason is still her husband, and why doesn’t Elizabeth drop the act, since she just wants to mark her territory. I get a mental picture of a dog with Elizabeth’s head peeing on a fire hydrant.

Sam asks if Elizabeth is asking her to back off. Elizabeth says she shouldn’t tell Jason what he’s not ready to hear yet. Sam goes off on her. Elizabeth says Jason loves her. Sam says, oh yeah? What is she so worried about then? Touché!

Nicholas says his grandmother is now ensconced in the family compound. He says she’s frail and weak now, and too ill to answer questions. I laugh because I think the last thing Helena would ever be is frail or weak. Jason says he’ll take his chances and leaves.

Carly tells Sonny that the renovations will help with his rehab and that the doctors say it will take time and hard work. Sonny acts like a big baby and says waah, waah, waah, he’ll do it his own way. Okay, Frank Sinatra.

Morgan starts chatting up Ava about old times. Ava asks if Sonny sent Morgan. He says, no, he came there for Avery. She says he thought she’d fall into bed with him, and then he could run to Sonny with the pillow talk. He’s all, I don’t work like that, but she isn’t buying it. She tells him he’ll have to see Avery on Sonny’s visitation day and shows him the door.

Carly says Sonny can’t hold their marriage over her head every time they disagree. He says they got married to fight Ava and they lost, so they can kiss the wedding rings good-by any time. He takes his off and tosses it. Very, very bad move, Sonny.

Bad dude tells Robin that there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. He says Jason has bigger problems than her, and if he searches for her, they’ll see him coming. Of course they will. She just reminded them that it’s a possibility. He says that finishing her work is the only way out. What work is this? Do I not remember or were we never told?

Nice moment between Patrick and Emma. He says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but that Sam loves her. Emma says he said the same thing about Robin and she left. This kid is a seriously fine actress. And I don’t often say that about children on soap operas. Usually, I think it must be the producer’s kid they were forced to hire.

Tracy calls Hayden and leaves a voicemail for her to be careful. The phone is sitting there on top of her open purse (like, who does that?) with the caller listed as “unknown.” I’m thinking somehow Nicholas is going to see this and Hayden is going to have to think on her feet.

Elizabeth says she noticed Sam still has her engagement ring on. She asks if Sam thinks he’s going to leave her because she’s sooo wonderful, and the life he has. She says he has a home, and Sam says, nope, he’s just living in Elizabeth’s house, and he moved in when he was Jake Doe. Sam says everything remains to be seen.

Jason goes off on his motorcycle to find himself. Literally.

Tomorrow, Lulu is going to ask for a legal separation from Dante.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa is looking for new cocktail dresses for the waitresses and picks out a really cute mini skirt version of a 50s-ish style. She says something about how she’d love to wear it, but she’s too old. I cry into my glass of seltzer with lemon because I wish I could look like Lisa wearing anything. She tells Katie and Scheana to quit picking on Lala. How can you not pick on someone names Lala? Scheana says Lala doesn’t really have a modeling gig, that it’s more like she has a sugar daddy and Lisa says that’s none of their business. I do tend to agree with that.

Lisa brings in Eric, the bar manager at PUMP, to teach the bartenders at SUR about some new cocktails. All of them think they’re too cool for school, Jax being the most vocal. They don’t seem to like Eric, and Ken tells Jax to suck it up. Jax says the one thing Eric can do better than him is kiss Lisa’s ass. During the lesson, Jax can’t seem to control his mouth. I like Jax less and less every season. He’s too old for this nonsense.

Lisa asks Katie and Scheana to go to PUMP for a refresh in service. Obviously there’s something wrong with Scheana, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Lisa confronts Lala about the modeling gig lie. She says she had the trip planned already, and Lisa says lying is no way to start things. Lala complains about the other girls bugging her.

Scheana goes running to the bathroom. Katie goes after her and asks what’s wrong. Scheana says that her husband, Shay, isn’t happy and left for a while. He’s also been drinking too much. Scheana says she doesn’t understand why he’s not happy – if it’s her or something else. She gets down on herself for not recognizing something was wrong in her own home.

The SUR servers gather at PUMP. Lisa has her number one at Villa Blanca give them a lesson in server sensitivity. They don’t like it, but I don’t know what the big deal is.

Schwartz has a modeling gig. He says his modeling career has been spotty at best, but lately he’s been on a roll. OMG, the girl who’s working with him has the cutest lace-up silver shoes ever! Schwartz says he’s ready to propose, but hasn’t put thought into the actual process. The model tells him to make sure Ariana is camera ready the day he’s going to pop the question, because she’s going to want to take a selfie. Please. Make it stop.

Ugh! It’s Kristen and James. James is lying his ass off about cheating on her. Kristen says that when they have an issue, they seem to skirt the real problem and it never gets resolved. She talks about him cheating on her, but believes he’s never slept with anyone else. This confuses me, but I assume she’s talking about him kissing someone else. I’d be with her on this one, except she spent an entire previous season lying about cheating on Tom with Jax. Kristen says cheating is a sign of insecurity and it’s about blaming the other person to deflect from your own miserable self. Maybe.

Lisa tells Scheana and Katie that she spoke to Lala and they need to stop picking on her and be nice to the new girl. Scheana says she has a lot going on, but she’ll try. Lisa says Lala has stuff going on too, and Scheana says she guarantees her stuff is bigger.

Tom is getting rid of his couch. Schwartz helps him take it to the curb. Apparently, the couch could tell stories. I don’t want to know. Schwartz talks about saving money for a ring. Tom says he’s never seen him be this calm about commitment. They discuss Shay and Tom says it’s weird that Shay left, since he and Scheana seem to work so well together. He also mentions Shay’s drinking.

Lala takes a break and Jax is waiting there like a spider. He asks how the girls are treating her, and he says she can be honest, because he doesn’t gossip, and even he laughs. He says he’s seen new employees not even make it through an entire day because of the other girls’ bullying. Lala says she’s been single for 3 years because she’s still hung up on her ex. Geez, that’s waaay too long. Especially for someone that young.

Scheana has a grey tabby cat that looks just like one that I had. He also has a black kitty buddy. Ariana drops in and Scheana spills the beans about Shay. She says everyone looks at them as the perfect couple, but they have a lot of problems. She says he’s not happy and drinking too much and it’s breaking her heart. She says she’s been putting on her happy face, but she’s not feeling it. She says she’s lonely without him, but wonders if they rushed things. She wonders if she’s been ignoring things because she was happy and just assumed he was. In her individual interview, she says there’s a lot that no one knows. This is a real shame because they did really seem very much in love.

Lisa sits down with James and asks him how it’s going. He says things aren’t going well with Kristen. (What a shock.) She says he needs Kristen in his life like he needs a boil on his ass. Enough said.

Scheana and Tom help Schwartz with the engagement ring shopping. Scheana says she knows what Katie wants and every girl has an idea of the engagement ring of her dreams. I didn’t. They meet with a jewelry designer who is a friend of Schwartz. The designer shows them an awesome diamond and says it will run about 7 grand with the setting. Scheana says that she’s seen Schwartz’s Modells ad about 12 times already, and he can swing it.

Scheana talks about adding diamonds to her wedding ring, but then says she and Shay haven’t seen each other in 4 days. She also says he’s drinking too much. Tom thinks maybe she’s being overbearing about it, and that could be why Shay wanted to get away.

Scheana goes to the bar to get her table’s drink order. Jax says he knows how to make the new drinks, but chooses not to, and then proceeds to not know what’s in them. Tom says maybe he (Tom, not Jax) should talk to Shay.

Lala is at the front taking reservations. James asks how it’s going. She says it’s been a little rough and that the girls seem to think she wants to shag their boyfriends, but she doesn’t use the word “shag.” James asks if that’s her MO and she says no. Was he just feeling her out? He tells her to hang in there and she asks if he honestly has her back. Lala says she’s not interested in little skinny guys, but she likes his accent.

Scheana sits down with Lisa (lots of sit downs tonight). Lisa says she knows something is wrong and she’s concerned. Scheana says she’s been putting on a front and saying everything is fine, but it’s not. She says that around Christmastime (3 months into the marriage), she noticed Shay’s drinking increased. She says he’s been mixing painkillers with the alcohol. She says he’s been taking five a day, along with several glasses of wine. I don’t know what kind he’s taking, but five is a lot, and with the alcohol, he’s asking for trouble. Lisa says she thought he was somewhat unmotivated, but never thought he was high. Scheana says she feels like she’s being cheated on because he was hiding it from her. Lisa says she’s right to take it seriously and be upset. Scheana wonders if there’s something wrong with her since she didn’t see it. She says she didn’t expect to be in this place, but I think most of us can say that about something in our lives after we’ve lived them for a while.

Next week, James and Kristen start therapy. That ought to be good. A shrink will have a field day with Kristen. Shay also returns.