Monthly Archives: May 2016

May 16, 2016 — GH, Charms of the South & Wives of Dallas

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian wonders why Alexis keeps the dagger in the china cupboard to begin with, and she says isn’t he glad she did, since it was within reach. He swears he didn’t touch it.

Sonny tells Carly what happened. She asks if the police think he had anything to do with Carrrlos getting stabbed, but he says he doesn’t think so.

Finn orders several space heaters for Roxie. Monica says Danny would love to meet her and Finn says he’ll arrange a play date. They talk about bringing Roxie to the hospital for the kids. Finn asks how Tracy is. Monica says you’d never know anything had happeend, but there’s controversy about Mr. Ellis’s death

Elizabeth talks to Jake while nuAmy eavesdrops. She tells him he’s not going to be seeing Franco anymore. When he asks why, Franco hears him and tells him to ask his father.

Jason remembers everything now, so I guess we can put that storyline to rest…somewhat.

Commercial break. Does Flonase really need to tell me that 6 > 1?

Carly says she knows Sonny didn’t kill Carrrlos, but still wonders where he was. Sonny tells her about going to Crimson with Alexis and how Michael ended up pulling Carrrlos out of the water. She’s like, thanks for calling and letting me know.

Julian tells Alexis he was exactly where he said he was. Alexis questions Nina being in a bathrobe at a meeting, and he fills her in on the Franco/Nina situation.

Finn says Mr. Ellis’s death was unexpected and he was stable when Finn left him. He says that all the tests that had been run were negative. Monica concurs, since she double-checked everything. She tells him Obrecht asked the peer review group to open up a case.

Elizabeth tells Jake that sometimes adults have to make decisions that kids don’t understand. She says that Jason doesn’t think Franco is the best person to treat him. NuAmy says that his mother must have agreed, since she’s the one who canceled all of the appointments. I applaud her audacity.

Jason tells Sam about the accident. He says he was trying to figure how to get Dante out from under the van, when Robin spoke to him.

Monica says Obrecht feels Mr. Ellis’s death was preventable.

NuAmy fills another nuNurse in on last year’s Nurses Ball. Amy is giving her all the gossip and Monica interrupts. She suggests Amy get back to work, and if she hears more trash talk, Amy will be backstage at the Ball.

Monica tells Finn it wouldn’t be an issue if the family had ordered an autopsy.

Elizabeth tells Jake that they’re enrolling him in an art class, but he says he wants to work with Franco. She tells him he needs to get to his appointment and he shakes her off, saying he’ll walk over by himself. Franco asks if Elizabeth is a doormat or does she really think he’s a danger to her son?

Jason explains that seeing Robin was probably his way of fighting his conditioning. He says the memories were intact, he just couldn’t reach them. Sam says she doesn’t understand, and he says neither does he, and tries to come up with theories.

Carly says next time Sonny feels the need to step out in the middle of the night, to please tell her first. She was worried and concerned that the police were going to be looking for him. Sonny says Julian is the one who would gain the most from Carrrlos’s death.

Julian says Alexis had to know the witness was a set-up. She says she didn’t get a chance to question him and how convenient that he died from an overdose after years of being clean. She says the look on Julian’s face was sheer panic when she said Carrrlos was still alive. Julian still tries to pretend that Carrrlos was his friend and Alexis says Carrrlos was a man who was going to put Julian away for the rest of his life. Julian says she saw him at Crimson. Alexis says that was later and he asks why he would have done it himself. Wouldn’t he have one of his lackeys kill Carrrlos? Alexis starts weeping and says it’s unthinkable he would use the dagger that killed her mother. He says check it; it’s clean, and she says because he cleaned it.

Alexis starts going nuts, looking for any proof. Success! She finds the towel he used to clean the dagger with. It only took her about two seconds, so Julian didn’t hide that very well. I gotta say, I wonder too, why he would use the dagger, since it has a unique blade. A carving knife would have been less traceable. It seems like a really stupid move for a guy who’s a mob boss.

Finn says Obrecht resents him in general. Monica says she especially didn’t like how he put Dr. Mays in his place. He says she seems to be holding him personally responsible for her being let go. She says he saved Tracy’s life, and Tracy had a big say in it.

Elizabeth says Franco crossed the line and was acting like his old self. She thought he’d changed, but she was wrong. He says he just lashed out because of the Nina situation, but he’s working his way out of the hole he’s in. He says even Obrecht has pushed him away. He says Elizabeth is pretty much the closest thing he has to a friend.

Jason tells Sam that as soon as he got Dante free, the memories flooded in, from the color of Sonny’s old office drapes to their first kiss. He says he’d been trying to convince himself the memories didn’t matter, but he was wrong.

Sonny says after the accident, Carrrlos would have certainly taken the deal. Carly says Julian was at Crimson. Sonny says even if Alexis was telling the truth, Julian might have done the dirty deed and then jetted to Crimson. Carly asks what he’s planning.

Alexis says the stain on Julian’s shirt wasn’t wine, it was blood, and he killed Carrrlos to save himself. Julian says she needs to trust that he did everything because he loved her and so their life together wouldn’t end. She asks him who he is. He says he’s still her husband and she pushes him away. She starts to call the police and Julian takes the phone. He says she needs to ask herself who she is. She chose to stay with him even though she knew he ordered the hit on Duke and that makes her complicit.

Franco says he’s not a danger to Jake and Elizabeth needs to stand up to Jason. Amy comes over and says Jake didn’t show up for the appointment.

Sam tells Jason so much for getting to know each other again. He says they have been apart for two years, but he knows how they started now. He trips down Sam Memory Lane. She says he has his life back, and he says that depends on her.

Sonny says he has to figure out a way to use Carrrlos’s death against Julian. Carly says he should let the police handle it, but Sonny says Julian has Alexis in his corner, which Carly finds ironic considering Alexis’s high horse attitude.

Julian tells Alexis she made her choice to accept him. She says he swore he was out of the mob. He says he changed his life for her, but she should have known his past would come back to haunt him. He says when push came to shove, he did what he had to. He says she chose to defend Carrrlos and protect the both of them and blah-blah-blah about how they love each other. He says the important thing is that it’s over and they can live their life together with their kids and grandson. He says otherwise, two men died for nothing. And what is with Julian’s hair? I vote no.

Franco says no one saw Jake leave the hospital and security is out front. Elizabeth says how do they know someone didn’t take him? The police come and Amy points out Elizabeth, who tells them Jake was supposed to be going to his appointment.

Sam says the worst thing was trying to convince Jason he was a good guy. He says maybe not so much, and she says they’ve both made their share of mistakes, and now they have a chance to find their way back together again. She says she loves him.

Finn startles Carly, who is looking at some reports at a table in the MetroCourt. She tells him that his space heaters came in. She asks him to look at a printout regarding her daughter’s kidney. He says it’s against the rules and she says since when did he care about that? Finn says never.

Julian makes up some nonsense about how they’re the only two people who matter. Alexis says he’s a killer. He says he did what he could to weather the storm, but they can fix this. She starts laughing and says how? He says what’s done is done. Carrrlos can’t be brought back, but they can survive this together.

Julian takes the bloody towel to the fireplace. Alexis says she’s not letting him throw the evidence away. He says it has to be done and this is for them. It doesn’t get much more spineless than Alexis here.

Elizabeth says it’s all her fault and she should have walked Jake to the office. She wonders where Franco went and Amy says maybe he’s out searching. Yeah, searching his apartment where Jake is eating some sugary cereal.

Sam tells Jason he should be checked out by a doctor. She wants to know that he’s okay with no concussion or complications. He says he hates hospitals but he’ll go.

Finn looks over the reports. He makes noises and Carly asks if he found something. He says maybe. He points out an administrator’s number and that they did overtime that day. He says the employee hasn’t worked at GH since the transplant and they probably know something.

Julian tells Jellyfish Alexis that this is about damage control and throws the towel in the fire. There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it’s Sonny. She answers. Yep, it’s Sonny and he asks if Julian told her who killed Carrrlos. He says by the look on her face, she knows.

Tomorrow, Franco tells Elizabeth he has Jake, Lucy is back for the Nurses Ball (yay!), and Julian threatens Sonny.

Southern Charm

Shep and Craig meet for lunch. Shep asks what happened after the bourbon tasting. Craig tells him about JD saying he’s not ready to head a division and Naomie getting sad about it. Geez, it wasn’t like he lost his job. Shep says Craig should work on taking the bar, but in the meantime wants him to come on the Appalachian trip.

Craig asks if he’s inviting Kathryn. Shep tells him that several others won’t come if he does. Craig wonders why Whitney is so against her, and says they should be inclusive, and that Kathryn would probably be more chill if she felt warm and fuzzy. He says she probably won’t come because of her pregnancy anyway. Shep relents and calls her, but she’s on modified bed-rest and doesn’t think it would be a good idea to travel. Shep thanks the cosmos.

Thomas (bleh) visits Kathryn’s new house. She asks if Thomas is going on the trip with Shep and company. She tells him that Shep called her, but she can’t go. Thomas says he doesn’t want to go if she’s not going, but Kathryn encourages him. In his interview, he says he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He might be T-Rav, but she’s T-Rex. He tells her maybe he’ll go and just stay one night.

Cameran visits a therapist. She’s struggling with the baby thing. Her husband is ready for one and she’s not. She wants to figure out if she’s just not maternal or her decision is rooted in anxiety. She says her own mom is her role model and she can’t say enough good things about her, but she wasn’t the cookie-baking typical Southern woman type. The therapist asks if when she thinks of having a child, does she think of getting something or giving up something? Good question! Cameran says everyone tells her that her life will change and she doesn’t even like being a passenger in a car. The therapist seems to think that her parents’ divorce is a factor. Even though Cameran thinks she’s too old to be affected by it, the therapist says childhood events drive our lives. This woman seems to actually know what she’s talking about, unlike some therapists I’ve seen on the reality shows.

Craig talks to his mom about the house in the mountains and whatever is needed for the trip. He thinks the house is even going to impress Whitney.

Landon (ugh!) gets together with her sister, Bam, about whose name I could make a million jokes. She tells Bam about her online magazine idea. Landon is the oldest of three girls and says she’s trailing behind both of them. No big shock. We flash back to her visit with the NYC mogul and how it kind of bombed. Landon says how much she likes Craig’s girlfriend, Naomie, but I think it’s just so she can talk smack about Kathryn.

Craig comes by Kathryn’s place. He says for once in her life, she’s not the one causing the drama. They talk houses. Craig wonders about Whitney. He asks Kathryn if they used to be friends, and she says they were more than friends. She says it was more than just a physical thing and she spent a lot of time with him and his mother. We see a clip where she was keeping a lot of stuff at his house. Wow. Here’s to a secret very well kept.

We see a few more flashbacks where Whitney was very complimentary to Kathryn. Craig says Whitney makes it out to be like a one-night stand, when a one-night stand doesn’t keep clothes at your house. Kathryn tells him that she’d hooked up with Thomas prior to Whitney, but it went nowhere. Then she and Thomas met at a party and she left with him because she had liked him better. She says Whitney put her stuff on the curb after that. She says he’s one of those people you think has no feelings for anyone else, and Craig says this explains why they’re still dealing with this three years later. They show another scene that didn’t make sense in the first season, but does when it’s put together with what she’s saying now.

Shep has organized a party bus and Cameran is hoping it doesn’t have a stripper pole. Everyone meets at the bus and they head for Asheville (NC). Thomas and JD will be joining them separately. Thomas gets to the hotel first. Craig thinks they’re in Nashville, which Shep tells us is another four hours west.

The hotel is cute. The group checks in and meets in the lobby. Hanger-on Dani is there too. I’m not sure why, but she rubs me the wrong way. Thomas is glad for a night out where he can be himself. An immature a-hole? He tries to chat up some teenagers on the street and I get embarrassed even though I’m just watching it on TV.

They go to a beer garden where Whitney and Thomas make fun of the bluegrass music. There’s a large size Jenga game on the outside tables that they periodically play. Moving on. To the next bar, owned by a college buddy of Shep’s who gave him his first fake ID. Moving on again, but just next door. They have dinner and Shep makes a toast. Someone says things are going swimmingly, and Shep says that’s probably what they said before the Titanic went down.

Cameran thinks that Landon hearts Shep. Me too. Thomas says he’s just staying one night and acts like it’s because of Kathryn. Ha! He’s just getting old. I still don’t get why he has no friends in his own age group. Whitney says Kathryn is the curse of Moncks Corner he can’t escape. Craig thinks Whitney is irrational when it comes to Kathryn and that Thomas is actually being responsible. Moving on. Next bar.

This one is more a dance club. Thomas immediately starts chatting up a girl with tatts and piercings, saying, it’s awesome, man, or something like that. Bleh. Thomas. He acts stupid and puts the moves on girls who don’t want them. One dances away with Shep.

Thomas goes to Shep’s room in the morning. He says that he thought Kathryn was being irrational about Landon, but now he realizes Kathryn is right. Landon confessed that she didn’t really invite Kathryn to Shep’s birthday. Shep is a little miffed too. He says Landon has a catty side where she takes things too far.

Cameran and Whitney decide to rent a car. Shep wonders if he should be offended. Thomas leaves and it’s back to the bus with the others.

They go through where Shep grew up and he points out his grandparents’ house. They get to their destination and the house is amazing. It has a phenomenal view and Shep says it’s the happiest place of all. I can see why. JD and Elizabeth join them. Cameran says Shep never even mentioned this house, but he isn’t the type to brag about what his family has. Even though I wouldn’t want to date him, I like Shep.

JD wants to talk to Craig who does not want to talk about work. Craig says Naomie was sad about the bourbon thing, but JD says just because something doesn’t work out immediately doesn’t mean it won’t in the future and that he wants Craig to succeed. He also wants Craig to make Dani feel comfortable about taking the position Craig wanted.

Jennifer visits Kathryn, who is bored out of her mind. She can move around, but not leave the house. Kathryn tells Jennifer about the trip and that Thomas called, telling her how Landon admitted not inviting her to Shep’s birthday. She says Thomas has been surprisingly helpful with the move. She says their past is tumultuous and crazy, but he’s making an effort.

I cry because I will never, ever have a kitchen like the one in Shep’s mountain house. Shep confronts Landon about not inviting Kathryn to his party. He says in the future, tell him the truth. I’m not surprised someone has to tell her something this simple, but then I remember she can barely form a sentence.

Whitney argues with Craig over grilling the steak. The food looks incredible, steaks, corn on the cob and grilled vegetables. The topic of Kathryn comes up. Whitney says she’s a lying psychopath, and Craig says he’s just mad because she slept with his best friend after staying with him.

Next time, Whitney calls Kathryn a liar, poor Whitney is upset, Kathryn’s inducement date gets moved up, and Kathryn disappears. Lots of Kathryn.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Stephanie has a decorator coming in for son Chance’s room. She says that Travis’s mother is a decorator and he thinks that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, but that’s not the case. Travis wants to be all involved, which annoys Stephanie. She says once a plan is in place, Travis always wants to change it. She says the one gift she wishes he’d give her is to trust her judgment.

Brandi is still ticked off about how Bryan acted at the barbecue for her father, late and drunk. She says he’s not giving her or the family the attention they deserve and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She tries calling him and gets voicemail.

Marie is apparently inching her way into Wives status. Brandi goes to Marie’s house. She’s been working with Marie’s daughter, Sofia, on cheerleading. She says it’s a real favor, since she taught cheerleading and dance to high schoolers and it wasn’t fun. Marie is also close to Leeanne, so Brandi is hoping to get some insight. Brandi says the lessons make her miss being a Cowboys cheerleader.

Rich asks Leeanne what’s bothering her about Marie. She says she wants to trust Marie, but Tiffany has told her that Marie has been texting her smack talk about Leeanne.

Brandi tells Marie that despite Leeanne being batsh*t crazy, she had fun at Marie’s party. Marie says Leeanne could benefit from therapy. She says Leeanne is going to have to apologize for her nutty behavior.

Cary and Mark go shopping. They’re updating their website photos and looking for new outfits. Cary says the website needs to draw in the upscale clients they want, so the pictures need a refresh. Mark gets excited over a few of the dresses and picks out some things for her.

Brandi goes to Stephanie’s house. Stephanie is putting everything back into her son’s newly decorated Cowboys-themed room. Brandi tells us the nasty habits her husband has, as though we need to like him any less. She says it’s funny how you don’t notice a lot of things during the honeymoon phase. They talk about the barbecue and Brandi says how hurt she was about Travis acting stupid. Stephanie thinks Brandi should talk to him and reconnect with a date night. Brandi says Bryan isn’t good with confrontation, so she’s afraid to deal.

Tiffany visits Leeanne. They’re going to Marie’s house “to seek answers.” As a true Housewife should, Tiffany has printed out the texts. Leeanne wants to know why the texts happened and if her reputation is in jeopardy. I dunno. Maybe Marie is ticked off about Leeanne’s idiotic behavior at her party.

Leeanne and Tiffany say a prayer before going into Marie’s. Marie asks how they’ve been since the party and Leeanne says it was a bad scene, daddio. (Okay, I added the daddio.) Tiffany says she doesn’t like engaging in the kind of texts Marie has been sending. She pulls the texts out, handing them to Leeanne, and Marie looks like a deer in headlights. Marie says she would never talk behind Leeanne’s back. Leeanne says if Marie has something to say about her, she hold say it to her face. Marie says she was seriously concerned about Marie’s welfare. Leeanne drags Brandi into it, saying the issue is between them. Marie says Leeanne made it everybody’s issue. Leeanne says she walked out of the party because she was going to get violent. Leeanne gets loud and says stupid stuff. Once again, in her interview, Leeanne says she doesn’t do hurt. Seriously, get therapy and stop acting out when you have the feels. You’re too old for this. She tells Marie she’s been putting negative bugs in Tiffany’s ear and asks what she’s told Brandi. Marie says they never discuss Leeanne, but we flash to Brandi saying Leeanne is nuts. The girls say blah-blah-blah about being open. Leeanne says Marie might have originated from a good place, but she’s forgotten what loyalty is. She’s glad Tiffany held her hand through this.

Cary and Mark are using friend Carrie’s apartment for the photo shoot. Carrie gives direction with Mark working the camera. They take a lot of great pictures with and without great clothes.

Brandi talks about how hard it is, raising the girls basically with no Bryan and no other help. She says when Bryan is gone, one of the girls (Brooklyn) is especially bratty. Brandi does the throwing the spaghetti on the wall thing to see if it’s done. I do that too, but not near an electrical outlet. She calls Bryan, who is about to board a flight, and suggests a date night next time he’s home.

Gayle and Oprah are the names Stephanie gave the oversize warrior garden statues that Travis won’t let her get rid of. Brandi has brought outfits for them. This reminds me of a guy not far from me who has a manatee statue next to his mailbox that he dresses up seasonally.

Mark and Cary look at the pictures. Cary is very critical of herself, but Mark says she’s perfect. She wants them photoshopped, but he’s not on board with that. I’m not sure what she has to be concerned about. They get all mushy. I like these two. They seem like the only normal ones.

Stephanie loves her son’s new room, but is nervous at the unvailing, since it’s not what Travis wanted. Chance is really too young to be impressed by something like this. Travis says they did a great job and compliments Stephanie.

Brandi and Bryan are getting ready for date night. He’s exhausted from traveling, but she feels they need to get in some time together. They leave the kids with a sitter and go out to eat. They order martinis. Bryan looks tired. Brandi thinks he’s checked out as far as feelings go. They toast to a good summer.

Brandi says she’d like more time with him, but expects him to be a mind reader about it. It’s painful watching her try to get her thoughts out, with him looking like he’s not even there. She says with all his traveling, sometimes she feels like she doesn’t get the attention she needs from him. He’s like, seriously?

Bryan feels like she gets all the attention. She says she wants them to have more family activities with the girls. Again, she’s not expressing herself well. She says she feels unloved and unappreciated. She asks if she did something wrong and he says yes. She asks what. Bryan doesn’t answer and she says she doesn’t understand him. He just sits there like a cold lump and she starts to tear up, saying somehow it’s always her fault. He says he didn’t see that one coming What? He says he’s had enough and leaves her sitting there.

Next time, a charity event at the House of Blues, gossip about Cary, and Brandi’s brother attempts suicide.

May 15, 2016 — Storybrooke Finale, Dead in Mexico, Shahs Plan & Dany Rises

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Snow tells Regina that she doesn’t need to go through this alone. Zelena says she’s not going to, and Zelena can empathize, having been through it. David tells Zelena how sorry he is about Hades.

Violet approaches Henry. She says she’s sorry about Robin and that she was afraid she was never going to see Henry again. He says him too.

Emma tells Hook maybe he should wait outside when she goes to the diner, since Regina might be bitter over Robin’s death.

Gold tells Belle in the Box that her father was uncooperative about waking her and he’ll have to find another way. He says he needs power and messes with the Olympian crystal.

Emma sees Regina. The diner rocks (and by that I mean like there’s an earthquake, not that it’s a cool place to be) and Hook runs in asking if everyone is okay. Everybody is surprised to see him, since they didn’t think he could get back from the Underworld. Regina says only one person is powerful enough to rock the diner like that — Gold.

Regina says he’s done a tethering spell. Gold is trying to harness all the magic in Storybrooke. They surmise it’s to wake Belle. Emma says maybe Regina should sit this one out and Regina is annoyed that Emma thinks she’ll go all evil queen. Regina says fine, she’ll deal with things herself. She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry tells Violet about Gold and how magic screws everything up. He says he used to think there was light and dark, but now he believes it’s all one. Violet says her mother died from magic. Henry asks her to come on a quest with him and she says yes. He calls it Operation Mix-Tape and says there’s one more thing they need, the pen. He writes that the crystal appeared in his hand. He tells Violet all the magic is tethered there and they’re going to destroy it.

The group is looking for Gold, and Regina is looking for Henry. Gold shows up and says Henry has the crystal and Henry has outsmarted all of them. Regina asks what happens if Henry succeeds in destroying magic, and Gold tells her that Storybrooke was created with magic, so what does she think? He disappears, poof! in cloud of grey smoke.

Emma follows Regina to look for Henry. All of the other characters in Storybrooke approach Snow with their worries. Zelena creates a doorway for them to go back from whence they came. Emma says they have to find Henry before Gold does.

Meanwhile, Violet and Henry are in New York City. Everyone goes through the door except our heros. Zelena is about to close it and something prevents her, something that looks like it’s trying to get in. Suddenly, the gang is transported to…somewhere. Zelena says they’re not in Storybrooke anymore.

In Boston, Regina and Emma get in a Volkswagen Beetle. Regina pricks Emma’s finger and the blood leaves a trail on their map, showing them where Henry is. Gold drives through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel into NYC. Violet tells Henry the city is overwhelming and he says he thought the same thing about Camelot at first. They discuss Gold and Henry tells her that his father had also been looking for a way to destroy magic and kept a journal in his apartment. He tells her she’s the only one he’s told about it.

In the beautiful forest that the Storybrooke-ites have landed in, they come across an estate. They ask a gardener where they are. The gardener says if he helps them, he’ll be punished. When David asks by who, a sorcerer pops out and says by him, and blows them all back with purple lightening bolts.

The gang wakes up in a dungeon. Although, geez, it looks like they could squeeze between the bars. A warden comes in and asks why they’re on his property. Snow says they just want to leave. The warden asks what the Dark One wants and grabs Hook by the throat. Snow says Gold is their enemy too, and explains what Gold is looking for. The warden doesn’t believe them.

Emma and Regina go to the apartment. Emma can tell that Henry and Violet have been there. Regina finds one of Robin’s books and gets all sentimental. There’s a letter from Robin to her inside. He says how proud he is of her and that no matter what separates them, he knows she’ll always do the right thing. Emma tells Regina sorry about before. Regina says she’s right, the evil queen is always trying to get out. Emma says she understands having fought the darkness, but Regina says while Emma was just at the precipice, she was consumed.

Regina says her first instinct is to rip Hook’s throat out because Robin didn’t survive, but she knows it’s wrong, so she keeps it in check. She says good always leads to loss for her, but she has to keep doing it. She talks about the horrible things she did when Snow was little. She says being a hero doesn’t matter because there’s no redemption for her. She has the curse of knowing good and evil and has to fight with it every day. Emma says she believes in Regina, and Regina says that’s because Emma is good. She says her fate is to be trapped.

Emma sees on the computer that Henry and Violet are at the midtown library. Gold waits outside the door of the apartment.

A librarian takes Henry and Violet to the rare reading room. His father was looking for something there, but never found it. Violet is skeptical that they can. A slew of Henry’s Once Upon A Time books are there, each containing different stories.

Back at the dungeon, the gardener, Albert, comes in. He says he wants to help them. He can’t let them out, but he might be able to get the magic they need. He asks to come with them when they leave. He says he’s a prisoner and wants to get away from the warden as much as they do. Zelena needs her wand fixed and Albert says he can take the pieces and put it back together in the lab. David is unsure about trusting him, but they have no other choice.

Henry thinks they came there for nothing. Violet says he’ll figure it out. She sees a chalice in a glass case and says Henry’s father never figured things out because he never visited Camelot, where the Holy Grail is the source of all magic. Henry busts the chalice out and it twirls a book around. Henry starts to leave. Gold stops him, but Henry says he’s not getting the crystal without a fight. Gold says too bad Henry is going to lose and puts both Henry and Violet to sleep, taking the crystal.

Albert goes to the laboratory. He puts the wand into a machine that looks like a Mousetrap game. He’s able to fix it, but the sorcerer comes in. Albert claims the warden wanted him to fix it, but the sorcerer says they’ll talk to the warden then. There’s a struggle and Albert turns into Mr. Hyde, who is also the warden, and starts talking about his other personality in the third person. He says Storybrooke could be the answer to what they’re looking for, and they’ve been stuck where they are for too long. He says the doctor isn’t the only one who will be going to Storybrooke; they all will.

Emma finds Henry and Violet, and the color turns to sepia tones. Henry tells Regina that magic has taken everything away from them. Every time it seems like they’ll be happy, magic wrecks things. He doesn’t want magic to take away Regina or Emma. He tells them he couldn’t find any answers. They agree they have to find Gold and they do the map/blood thing again. It doesn’t work though, because the magic is all in the crystal.

Hyde is twirling the wand around. He says he’s taking something that will give them the power they need. Gold talks to Belle in the Box in the hotel room. The room starts to shake and when Gold grabs the crystal, Belle in the Box disappears and reappears in Hyde’s hands. He says if the Dark One wants to see his wife again, he’ll have to do what Hyde says.

Albert, who is also Dr. Jekyll, wakes up in a straitjacket. There’s a note from Hyde saying he almost got free. Albert says that Hyde isn’t as smart as he thinks. He goes to the dungeon, says the warden has the wand, and unlocks the door, letting the Storybrooke gang out.

They go to what looks like a Moroccan flea market. Albert says it’s called the Land of Untold Stories.

Back in NYC, Violet tells Henry she hopes he has a good plan since they have no magic. They see lightening bolts hitting the top of a building. A room service waiter comes toward the hotel room. Gold answers the door and invites him in. There’s a pentagram and candles on the table. Gold doesn’t care about the food, only the sterling silver charger. Gold gives the waiter a hundred dollar bill and says things might get messy. The waiter leaves and Gold puts a “do not disturb” sign on the door.

Regina feels the vibes from the hotel. She says she might not have magic, but she still has a fist and Gold still has a nose. Ha-ha! She knocks on the door and tells Gold they need to talk alone. She says Emma doesn’t know she’s there. She says she knows he hasn’t been able to wake Belle in the Box yet and needs help from his best student. She says she’s ready to let the evil queen back out and makes up some story. She says he needs the evil queen and she doesn’t want to lose Zelena. He says maybe they can help one another.

Albert brings everybody to his apartment. He picks up some serum that separates the good and evil from someone. He’s going to use it on Hyde. The sorcerer comes in. Albert tells everyone to run as he turns into Hyde.

While Regina and Gold toast, Emma slips in. Gold tells Regina about how Belle in the Box was taken. Emma gets the crystal, but it disappears, poof! in a cloud of magenta smoke. Gold knew all along. He says Regina is who she’ll always be, guilt-ridden and weak. He takes something of Zelena’s from Regina that he needs for his spell, and plans on getting rid of Emma and Regina, since he doesn’t need them anymore.

Henry stops everything and works some magic on the pentagram table. Purple clouds happen outside the building and it seems like something has been sucked out of the room. Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Hyde tells the sorcerer to go into the other room and injects himself. He separates into two people. Hyde tells the doctor it’s nice to finally meet him. He says the irony of being separate is that it’s going to destroy him. He tries to strangle the doctor and Hook comes to the rescue. David says the doctor risked everything to save them, so it was the least they could do.

Gold tells Henry he stopped him from rescuing Belle in the Box and everyone in the other realm with them. Henry says he did what he had to and it’s on Gold. Regina wonders what happened to Storybrooke, and Gold says it will be fine, he was just made that up to motivate her. He says they’ll have to work together to find who has magic.

Emma finds Henry in Bryant Park. Henry says before they knew magic existed, they were happy. Emma says it was just them then. Henry says because of what he did, they might not see their family again. Emma says Regina and Gold are working on it now.

Gold tells Regina he’s always failed to separate the parts of himself because he likes the darkness. Regina says she doesn’t, but Gold tells her she’s kidding herself an the more she keeps it inside, the more she’ll suffer.

They go to an herbal shop. Gold introduces the shopkeeper as “The Dragon.” The Dragon says he’s not in the business of helping hearts with such darkness as Rumpelstiltskin’s, but he will help Regina. He says it’s imperative she win for all of them.

The Dragon does a thing with a lotus blossom and they’re able to see Snow and the others in the parallel world. Regina says they’re in trouble. The Dragon says opening a portal is beyond his power. He says just because Henry thinks he destroyed magic, doesn’t mean there isn’t any; it’s everywhere. Emma says they have to believe and Gold says just saying it doesn’t make it so.

Henry is going to throw a coin in the fountain. He asks if Emma remembers the last time they were there and he made a wish. A few days later, the wish came true. He throws the coin in, saying he wishes his family was reunited. Each of them tosses in a coin and wishes. The crystal starts to pulse with light. Gold tosses in his coin, but Henry says they need more.

In the Untold Stories World, the Storybrooke gang meets face to face with Hyde.

Henry makes a speech about magic being real, standing on the pedestal of one of the lions on the library steps. He gathers a small crowd and asks everyone to make a wish and help them return magic to the world. Everyone starts throwing coins in the fountain. (Hmm…this might be a good way to make some extra cash.) The crystal gets stronger and Henry says, told ya so.

Coins start dropping in on Snow and the others. Snow tells David they’re not pennies, they’re wishes. All of a sudden, they’re in the fountain and immediately get arrested. Just kidding about the arrest part. Everyone applauds. Henry says they think it was an act and none of it is real. Emma says it doesn’t matter. For a moment, he did the impossible and made everyone believe.

Hyde is going crazy, smashing things. Gold appears. Hyde says now that he’s finally here, if Gold wants to see his wife and child again, he’ll do as Hyde says. Gold strangles him without touching him and Hyde says he can help him wake Belle in the Box. Gold lets go and Hyde says he’s learned a lot being the warden. He thinks it’s time they talk about a deal.

David says they can’t find Gold. Zelena says Regina wanted to be alone, but won’t say why. Snow finds Regina on the rooftop and brings her hot chocolate and spikes it from a flask. Regina says if she wants to keep the evil queen at bay she has to open herself to a lifetime of suffering. She says she wished the evil queen away at the fountain. Regina says the karma will always be there and it’s just another useless wish. Snow says maybe not.

Snow and Emma bring the syringe with Albert’s serum up to the roof. There’s enough for one more injection. Regina asks to be alone, but they won’t leave. Regina says the evil queen didn’t like Snow on a good day, so be careful. Snow injects Regina who goes through some changes, eventually splitting in two.

Regina faces herself. The evil queen tries to throw a lightening bolt at Regina, but Emma chains her. Emma tells Regina to destroy the evil queen and the queen laughs, saying Regina doesn’t have what it takes. She says Regina needs her. Regina says no she doesn’t and rips out the queen’s black heart. She says sorry and crushes it to dust. The queen disappears and only the chains are left.

Violet says she has to go. She tells Henry that her father is really from Connecticut and just ended up in Camelot. He said he’s glad she was born there though, since being a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court was no great shakes. She kisses Henry good-by.

Everyone else joins them. David says he’ll show Albert around. Emma tells Hook that she loves him and they kiss.

Henry tells Regina she destroyed the evil queen and asks how she feels. She says free. They take the crystal ad Regina works some mojo over it. It disappears. Uh-oh. Hyde appears and is like, thanks, trapped in a town without magic would be a bummer. He says he provided Gold with some information in exchange for Storybrooke. And he’s brought some friends.

He says he’s been looking for a place where all the lost and forgotten stories can play out. Regina says the story ends with him losing. He says darkness isn’t as easy to snuff out as she believes.

In Chinatown, The Dragon hears a bell. A trail of smoke comes into his establishment. It’s the evil queen. She says he was right about one thing, there was a battle raging inside Regina and she might have won the battle, but the war has just begun. She takes his heart and says the queen is back.

I’m guessing that next season, the Storybrooke characters will get involved with different stories from the books Henry found. Kind of like Sliders.

Fear the Walking Dead

In a chapel, some choirboys sing. The padre takes the podium. He talks about their faith being tested. He says that the evil that has befallen them wants them to turn away from God and to not to give into it. He says they’ll defeat it. They take communion.

Everyone goes out and gets guns. Thomas comes up and tells the padre they’ll be dead by the time they get to the gate. The people of the congregation start bleeding from their eyes. The padre says this was her, the one Thomas is trying to protect.

On the boat. Chris tells Travis he didn’t do anything wrong. Travis says they’re saying the guy Chris shot wasn’t sick and Madison is worried about him. Even if he wasn’t sick, Reed was a menace.

In the wheelhouse, Victor says they’ll be in Baha soon. Victor sees a boat coming toward them. Luis says the guy driving is Miguel, but he doesn’t know the other one. Madison has everyone hide. Daniel translates the conversation they can overhear. A negotiation is being made and Luis makes a payment. The guy wants to make sure there are no infected on board. There’s an argument and gunshots.

It gets quiet, and the group goes back up. Luis is dead, but Victor is fine. Daniel tells the others to stay and Daniel makes sure the people involved are dead. Luis is still alive and Ofelia wants to help him. Luis gives her a coin and says to give it to his mother. Daniel takes the coin from her. He says it’s nothing, even though he obviously knows what it is, and tosses it overboard.

The group goes to shore. The place is littered with piles of bodies. Victor calls Thomas’s name and runs into the chapel, looking for him. A bunch of zombies attack and the group fights them off. Lots of eye stabbing. Daniel has to stab an altar boy and can’t do it. Ofelia runs interference. A zombie grabs Madison and Chris freezes. Or maybe not. Is he pissed because she thought Reed might not have been sick? Alicia dispatches the zombie.

They take a truck to the gated estate. There are workers tilling the soil and such. Victor leads the way to the main house. Thomas’s mother, Celia, meets them. She asks about Luis and Victor says something about the military and she says he’ll find his way back. I don’t know if Victor is talking in code or giving her a story. A lady takes their weapons.

Thomas isn’t well. He tells Victor better late than never. Victor sees a wound on his arm and tells Thomas he’s sorry. Thomas says it’s okay, he waited for him. Victor says if he’d been there, he could have done something, but Thomas says maybe not. He helps Thomas up and they hug. He helps Thomas to his bed.

Alicia watches an old movie. Chris comes in and asks if she’s mad at him. She says she saw what he did. She says he was watching when the zombie was going to kill Madison and he did nothing. He says he froze and she can’t tell anyone something like that. She says what if she does. He says he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Nick comes to the kitchen. It’s not dinnertime yet, but Celia says she’ll give him some pizolli if he doesn’t tell the others. He says that Luis was asking for her and he wanted her to know. She says he has a “heavy smile,” and asks him why. He says he’s sick of all the killing. She says they’re just visitors and the dead have always walked among them, but now they can see it. Madison comes in and tells Nick the shower is ready.

Celia says Nick is special. Madison tells her that Nick is fragile and impressionable. Everyone is just being weird. Or weirder than usual.

Madison brings a tray in to Thomas and Victor. Thomas says he’s usually a better host. Thomas makes Madison promise to look after Victor when he’s gone. She says he won’t make it easy and Thomas says that’s why he’s asking her.

Ofelia tells Daniel it’s dinnertime and he says he’s not hungry. She asks if everything is okay and he says yes. He says to tell everyone that he’s tired. Alicia is falling asleep watching TV, which I imagine must seem like quite a novelty right now. Madison says that’s how they used to find her when they’d come home and she was with a babysitter. Alicia says she was afraid they wouldn’t come home.

Madison asks Travis what he talked about with Chris. She tells him about Chris threatening Alicia and what Alicia thinks she saw. Madison thinks that he’s sick. Travis says what if she’s right and she needs to help him help Chris. He adds that he’s noticed she leaves him out of the picture when talking about their kids. She says Alicia needs her tonight and Travis says he’ll stay with Chris. Maybe this whole thing is just getting to everybody.

Victor tends to Thomas. He tells Thomas to go to sleep, but Thomas says he can’t. Victor says the world was never good enough for Thomas and Thomas says he doesn’t want to leave him. Victor says he could go with him and Thomas says that’s very Shakespearean of him. Victor says there’s nothing left for him there once Thomas is gone, and his mother will look after everyone.

Daniel sees a kid put a dog into something that looks like a laundry shoot and is like, wtf?

Ofelia prays at the shrine. Nick joins her. She asks when he was in a church last and he says he doesn’t remember. She talks to her mother and says she’s worried about Daniel. She thinks he’s frail and has lost his way without her. Nick looks up and sees an owl’s face carved in a tree. It makes him remember when he woke up in the church in the first episode. Ofelia finishes praying and thanks him for being there with her.

Daniel sneaks around and sees the kid talking to a closed door. He asks the kid who he’s talking to and the kid says his mother. Daniel asks the kid to introduce him. Yep, as I thought. There’s bunch of zombies in there and this kid has been feeding them dogs.

Daniel goes to Celia and asks if she’s responsible. She says they’re family and she didn’t want to refuse them shelter, that they were being hunted. Daniel says she poisoned the parishioners and she says he’s being outrageous and needs to make peace with the dead. Okay, now what Victor said about Luis makes sense. She’s bringing communion wafers in to Thomas and Victor.

Celia sings a little Spanish ditty while she gives Thomas a sponge bath. She tells Victor that when Thomas was afraid of the dark as a boy, that was the only thing that worked. She says she never thought Victor was good enough for Thomas, but she was wrong. He asks how long it will take and she says not long. She tells him to sleep and leaves.

Nick sees Celia outside. She says Nick’s mother worries about him and he says he’s given her reason. Celia asks what he wants to know and he asks if they’re really dead. She says no and he asks what they are. She says they’re what comes next. Great.

Victor is in bed with Thomas and watching him. Thomas dies in Victor’s arms. Victor looks at the communion wafer, but walks past it. Chris gets out of bed and gets something out of a drawer. A gun? He goes into Alicia’s room where she’s sleeping with Madison. He takes a knife from the neightstand and a gunshot wakes everyone. Alicia screams at him to get out.

Victor has shot Thomas in the head.

Next time, Chris disappears, Nick walks among the dead, and Victor isn’t done

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and GG are at a bathhouse. GG gas to go through some medical treatments. Reza is of a “no man left behind” school of thought, and says people need other people. That’s what differentiates them from snakes. Really. He said that.

MJ and Tommy are talking about moving in together. They call the fertility doctor about the tests results. He says Tommy’s sperm count is low and it will  be almost impossible to get pregnant. The doctor says it could be a wrong count though because of them having sex too close to the time of the test. MJ makes Tommy swear not to [insert favorite euphemism here] for a minimum of two days.

Jessica and Mike are going to couples counseling. This should be good. The therapist asks for background and Mike says they’re having marital problems. Great start. Jessica has moved out, but Mike didn’t tell anyone. He thought she’d be back in a few days, but it didn’t happen. The therapist asks if they’re in a place where they want to fix things and she’s there to help them work through it.

Jessica says she knocked herself out to show Mike how worthy and capable she was, but then the relationship bombed after marriage. Mike says he’s been working like a dog to be the bread winner and loves Jessica more than anything. She says she needs more than that. More than love and money? Mike says she’s riddled with anger and he feels like he’s failed her. I’m not sure exactly what the problem is. Did he cheat?

Shervin’s mom has come for a visit. She’s trying to cook for him even though he has no utensils. Awww! He has a cute little Pomeranian that he says is a chick magnet. GG is joining them for dinner. They talk about relationships. GG says Shervin has no game, only money. She says he’s looking for the perfect princess who doesn’t exist.

Reza and Asa get together. Asa is having a cat-themed retirement party for her mom. They pick up some fast food and head to Palm Springs. They’re going to pick out a restaurant for the surprise wedding. They check out a room that Asa says is stunning, but I don’t know if I’d go that far. It’s good for Reza though.

Tommy has his sperm count retested. MJ sits in a differnt chair this time for supersticious reasons. She also mentions that they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night. That seems weird to me. The test is better this time and the doctor thinks they should be good to go. The doctor says the longer they wait, the less chance of success. MJ isn’t quite ready yet though.

Asa goes to Reza’s Palm Springs place for a drink after they’re done with wedding business. Asa asks Reza what if Adam is caught off guard and Reza doesn’t get the reaction he wants. Reza says he doesn’t have a back up plan, because a back up plan is a plan for a failure.

Shervin is out on a date with Analise, who is Italian, but grew up in Australia. He met her in line at a coffee place. It sounds like Shervin doesn’t work too hard at any kind of relationship stuff. He says all he ever basically does is smile. He asks her something about “cheerio, guv’nor,” and apparently he’s not super bright either since they don’t say that in Australia. She says he must not go on a lot of dates and suggests he switch up his approach.

MJ’s mom, Vida, comes over with her dog Ziggy, who is looking like she’s recovered from MJ taking her to the groomer. Now she just has a purple pom pom on her tail. While they’re cooking, MJ tells Vida that Tommy moved in. Vida is seriously annoyed. MJ says things are moving too fast for her mother. She tells Vida about having her eggs frozen and she feels she only has another year or so to get everything into place. Vida says having a child isn’t like picking out a Louis Vuitton bag. MJ says she’s hoping to marry Tommy and Vida says she’ll get no help from her since he’s the wrong guy. And Vida ought to know.

Asa is preparing for the retirement party. Mr. Barfy makes an appearance for his favorite food, flaming Cheetos. Everyone dresses like a cat except Mike. He makes excuses for Jessica by saying she’s out of town. GG gives Asa’s mother a bottle of wine in a cat-shaped bottle.

Reza says Asa’s mom is also a sorcerer (wouldn’t that be sorceress?) and reads coffee grounds. He tells her about the surprise wedding and she says the grounds tell him to be careful and that the future is unknown. She sees someone who might interfere as well.

Asa makes a toast to her mother’s gangster ways. Reza asks GG what’s up since she looks like she has a glow. She says she’s been communicating better and it’s taken her to good places. MJ asks Mike about Jessica and he says he likes MJ’s shoes. He walks away from the table, but MJ follows. Mike tells her that he realizes Jessica thought he would change when they got married. He says they got in a huge argument, and when he got home from work the next day, she’d gone to her parents. MJ feels hurt because she didn’t realize it was a facade, which I don’t understand at all. Mike starts whining about how hard it is and how he wants Jessica to come home. Reza thinks it’s bizarre after only six months. Oddly enough, GG is the voice of reason, telling MJ it’s none of her business. MJ keeps repeating that Mike’s wife left him and Mike finally tells her to shut up, because he can hear her from halfway across the yard. He wonders who made her a marriage counselor when she has her own issues.

It’s time to cut the cake. It’s a huge white cat. MJ decides to go home and toddles off before Asa smears icing all over her mom’s face. Asa follows MJ outside. MJ says she’s done with Mike’s shennanigans and Reza says she’s had over a fifth of tequila. Yikes! GG says and everyone keeps calling her crazy.

Next time, the Shahs dress up in monkey suits (and I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean monkey suits), Tommy tells MJ to quit bothering Mike, and the surprise wedding happens…or does it?

Game of Thrones

Edd picks up his sword. He asks Jon where he’s going and Jon says south. He asks what Jon is going to do and Jon says get warm. Edd asks how Jon can leave them now when he knows what’s coming? Jon says his own brothers killed him, so how can Edd expect him to stay?.

Brienne, Pod and Sansa come to the gate. Yay! They finally made it somewhere. Jon comes out. He and Sansa hug.

Sansa has some soup and she and Jon make small talk. He says they should never have left Winterfell. Sansa says she was awful as a kid, and wishes she could change everything. She makes him forgive her. Sansa asks where Jon is going and he says she’s coming too; if he doesn’t look after her, their father’s ghost will haunt him. Sansa thinks they should take back Winterfell. Jon is tired of fighting. He says it’s all he’s done since he left home. She says if they don’t take back the north, they’ll never be safe. She wants him to help, but is willing to do it herself.

Davos approaches the Red Woman. She says Jon is the prince who was promised and she’s going to do what he commands. Davos mentions that she’d thought Stannis was the promised prince. The Red Woman tells him about the battle. When Davos asks about Princess Shireen, Brienne joins the, saying she saw what happened. I’ll bet that made the Red Woman sweat, but Davos doesn’t pursue it. Brienne also tells them she’s the one who executed Stannis.

Robin is doing target practice and Petyr drives up. He’s brought Robin a falcon. Lord Royce asks about Sansa and Petyr tells him what happened, but wonders how his secrets about Sansa got out. Royce says he’s always been faithful and Robin asks Petyr if they can trust him. Petyr says he would make a capable commander and deserves another chance. Robin agrees.

Petyr tells Robin that Sansa escaped, and was headed for Castle Black, but she won’t be safe with the Boltons after her. Robin says they should help her. Petyr says to get everyone ready for battle.

Tyrion talks to Grey Worm and Missandei about negotiations. Missandei says he hasn’t been there long enough to understand how it works.

One of the men tells Tyrion they came to meet the queen, and instead they get a eunich and a dwarf. He says Dany was offered ships and she refused them. Missandei says it’s because of the slavery situation. Tyrion says they don’t need slaves to make money. He says he grew up richer than any of them and there haven’t been slaves in Westeros for hundreds of years. Tyrion says Dany will compromise, giving them seven years to end the practice, and they’ll be compensated. They’re also to cut off support of the Sons of the Harpy. The man says they don’t support them, and Tyrion says all the same, they’re to stop their support. He gives them some girls to seal the deal.

Tyrion talks to the head guys who are pissed at him meeting with the slavers. He says the queen chose him as her adviser and as soon as she returns — but he’s interrupted as there’s concern she won’t return. Grey Worm says if there’s a chance for peace, they should go for it. Missandei says we make peace with our enemies not our friends.

Afterwards, Grey Worm tells Tyrion that he’s loyal to Dany, not Tyrion, and he’d better be right. Tyrion says he does’t trust them, but trusts their self-interest. He says their contempt is their weakness and they can use it to their advantage. Grey Worm says it will end up the other way around the way it does every time.

Jorah and Daario are hiking the hills. Daario tells Jorah that he’s getting old for all this stuff, and that it’s hard for him to keep up with Dany and he’s a young man. They observe the Dothraki camp. Jorah tells Daario that they’ve taken Dany to the temple. Jorah takes his sword off, telling Daario there are no weapons allowed. Daario suggests sneaking in to cart off Dany isn’t allowed either, but Jorah says if they get caught, it’s better if they’re unarmed.

At nightfall, they sneak into the camp, which is really rocking and rolling with Dothraki eating, drinking and being merry. Jorah sees some men and pretends he’s a wineseller who got lost. The guy says they’re not merchants and a fight ensues. Jorah nearly gets killed, but apparently Daario decided to keep one of his weapons. Jorah says if anyone finds the body, the whole city will be looking for them. Daario covers up the stab wound by beating the crap out of the body with a rock.

At the crone camp, the girls sit in a circle and the head crone tells Dany she hopes Dany is allowed to stay with them. Dany says she needs some water and the crone tells her there’s no running from the Dothraki. Dany says she’d never do that and one of the girls escorts her to the well. Halfway there, Daario and Jorah pop out. Dany tells the girl to have faith in her.

The sisters come to Margaery’s cell and bring her to see the High Sparrow. He asks her where she’d go if she could leave. She says to her brother, her family, her husband. He says that would be seeking materialism and materialism is sin. He tells her his own story. He says he sought a taste of the high life and had an epiphany and how his life was a collection of lies. He left his life and never went back, not even stopping for his shoes.

The High Sparrow takes Margaery to her brother. Loras starts to weep and she tells him he has to stay strong and that he’s the future of their family. He says he’s not strong and begs for help. She says they want her to help tear him down; that’s the only reason the High Sparrow is letting her see him. He dissolves into a puddle of tears and isn’t much help.

The Grand Maester is speaking with Tommen and Cersei kicks him out. Tommen says they need to be careful in dealing with the High Sparrow. He’s concerned about Margaery. Cersei is only concerned about herself, but says Margaery’s safety is paramount. Tommen says Cersei doesn’t like Margaery, but Cersei says it doesn’t matter, a queen should command respect.

Tommen tells Cersei that the High Sparrow told him something in confidence and Cersei says he can trust her. Hahahahahahaha!

Cersei cancels the small councel meeting. She tells Olenna that the High Sparrow has their fate in his grubby, little hands. She says her trial is coming up, but before that, Queen Margaery is supposed to have an atonement walk. Olenna is like, no way, and Cersei says that’s right. Jaime says they’re going to fight the High Sparrow. Cersei tells the King’s Hand to stand aside and his son will be avenged. Olenna says people will die no matter what route is taken, so better them than us. Amen, sista!

Theon finally makes it home. His sister says she didn’t believe it when she was told. Yara says good men died trying to rescue him. She says he was her brother, so she risked everything for him and he betrayed her. Theon says Ramsay broke him into a thousand pieces. She says they got one of the pieces and that’s why they tried to free him. Yara thinks he’s just there to claim the throne. He says he doesn’t want to be king. She asks what he wants. He says that she should rule. Damn straight.

Creepy Ramsay peels an apple. The guard shoves Osha into his room. He asks if she knows his banner. She says yes, the flayed man, and asks if they eat them afterward. Ha-ha! He says no, and she says she’s seen worse. She makes like the Starks had turned her into a slave and she thought she could ransom Rickon. He says Rickon is no longer hers, and why should he keep her around? She puts the moves on him, and he says she’s a good talker. He tells her he knows all about her past with the Starks and who helped the boys escape. Then he slits her throat. Bye, Osha.

Brienne watches Tormund eat. Edd says sorry about the food; it’s not what they’re known for. Somene come in with a message for the Lord Commander. Jon says that’s not him anymore, but takes it anyway. It’s from Ramsay, telling him to come and try to take Winterfell. He has Rickon and the skin of his direwolf is on the floor. He wants his wife back. He goes on to say how he’s going to torture everyone in graphic detail. Jon can’t read any more and Sansa reads the rest. It’s signed the Lord of Winterfell, so they know Roose is dead.

Sansa says a monster has taken their home and their brother, and they have to fight to save them both. She tells Jon people will fight for him if he only asks.

At the Dothraki camp, the Khal and his guys discuss the dead guy they found. Dany is brought in. The Khals buddy says she’s a midget. He says someone is offering 10,000 horses for her and he’s not sure if they should let her stay with the crones or use her as a whore. Dany asks if they’d like her opinion. The Khal says she has no voice unless she is Dosh Kahleen. They talk about Khal Drogo and the plans he had. She says his plans were bigger and better than any of the  piddling stuff they’re doing. She says none of them are fit to lead the Dothraki, but she is.

The Khal says fine, they’ll take turns with her and then give their horses a turn. He calls her crazy. She tells him he’s gong to die and knocks over the fire pit. The whole places starts burning. The men are all running around like crazy. It’s like Carrie — the doors are locked and everything is going up in flames, with Dany in the middle of it, cool as a cucumber.

A crowd gathers outside and Dany emerges just like she did the first time, nakey and untouched in the middle of a massive blaze. The crowd bows down to her. Jorah and Daario come forward, amazed. They too bow down. Very impressive. A beautiful and emotional scene.

Next time, Petyr and Sansa meet, Yara claims the iron throne, and Bran has a helluva vision.

May 13, 2016 — Two, Two, Two GHs & Couch Quotes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Maxie is telling herself everything is going to be fine. Griff comes out and she asks about Nathan.

Anna tries to get out of the meat locker, but it’s locked, which makes sense for a locker. It must not be that cold, since we can’t see her breath.

Jordan says they’re looking for Carrrlos. Paul says he’s going to get away again.

Carrrlos asks why. Julian says it had to be done and stabs him a bunch more times. Bastard.

Alexis tells Sonny she can’t get ahold of Julian. Sonny says he’s going to Crimson and Alexis says she’s coming along.

Julian takes the envelope of money out of Carrrlos’s hand, saying he won’t need it now.

Franco tells her he’d forgotten how big his hands were. Ha-ha! Did Roger Howarth make that up? Nina doesn’t know what to say. They both agree that making jokes is a defense mechanism for them. Nina wonders how to react, and Franco suggests amused or charmed. She says calling 911 is an option too. Really? Just a wee bit overboard. Nina says the last time she saw him, he’d said their relationship was broken and twisted, but Franco says he’s the one who’s broken and twisted. He says he’s come to her with no defenses, no armor and no pants. He begs her to come back.

Griff tells Maxie that Nathan is incredibly resilient and he’s going to be okay. He tells her to stick close to Nathan and he’ll be fine. She says she plans to.

Jordan says just when she thinks Paul is out of audacity, he magics up some more. She tells him he doesn’t seem too broken up about Carrrlos’s escape. Felix enters and says Dante was stabbed with a really expensive pen. Jordan wonders how he got his hands on something like that.

Carrrlos calls for Sabrrrina. Julian kicks him into the water.

Anna looks around for something to use and finds a metal doohickey. She pries at the lock.

Sonny tells Alexis he knows how it is to want to believe someone, but when they lie to you over and over, it becoems difficult.

Michael finds Carrrlos, who asks for help. Talk about resilient.

Griff tells Maxie that Nathan is in recovery, but won’t be very communicative. She says she can talk for the both of them. She thanks Griff and he says he was just doing his job. She asks why he said he “owed it” to Nathan.

Jordan wonders where Anna is. She says maybe Carrrlos found Anna. Andre says he hasn’t heard from her since she got out of jail. He talks about Anna following Carrrlos to Canada, and Jordan wonders if Anna is at the pier because that’s the only route out of Port Charles. Andre wonders what will happen if Carrrlos finds Anna first.

Anna lies down on the floor.

Franco tells Nina he loves her and wants her to come home. She says it doesn’t solve their problems and brings up the children thing. She says every step closer she takes toward herself is a step away from him. He says apparently there’s no room for him in her life. She says that’s not it. The more independent she is, the less he wants her. She says he only wants her when she needs him. He asks if she can look him in the eye and tell him she doesn’t love him.

Julian comes in and is like, what? Franco says they were having a conversation and Julian tells him to get out. Nina tells Franco the conversation is done and Franco leaves. Julian asks if Nina is okay. She says yes and asks what he’s doing there.

Michael pulls Carrrlos out of the water. He says he’ll help him if Carrrlos tells him where Sabrrrina and the baby are.

Maxie says Griff barely knows Nathan, so how could he owe him anything? He says that Nathan is part of the PCPD, but Maxie says it sounded more personal than that. Before he can answer, Obrecht runs in, asking about her son. Griff says he should be fine, but it’s been a busy night and it’s not over, so he has to go.

Michael pumps Carrrlos for information and Carrrlos tells him go to hell. Him and his father.

Julian says he doesn’t want to mean, but obviously Franco has issues. Nina says he’s a vulnerable man who was trying to fix things in an off-kilter way. She says she appreciates Julian’s concern, but everything is cool. She tells him his shirt is stained and asks what happened.

Sonny and Alexis get to the office. Michael calls Sonny and tells Sonny to meet him at the ER. The paramedics are at the pier and loading Carrrlos onto a stretcher. Jordan shows up and asks Michael what happened. Michael explains that he found Carrrlos in the water, stabbed and bleeding. Jordan asks about Anna, but Michael says he hasn’t seen her.

Andre finds Anna and tells her to wake up; it’s time to go. He says he’ll explain later and helps her stand up.

Obrecht congratulates Maxie on the engagement. She says she missed out on so many things with her son’s life. She tells Maxie a story about Nathan breaking his arm as a boy and shows her a picture of him at nine, already “a man of courage and daring.” She says her sister told her that he was in a cast for a month, but she was half a world away. She says she was never there for him, and Maxie says she’s there now and that’s what matters. Nathan is ready to have one visitor. Maxie tells Obrecht to go, but she says Maxie is the one he wants to see. Franco comes in and Obrecht hugs him.

Paul tells Jordan he’s alerted the hospitals to look for anyone who’s been in a struggle. Jordan says they’ll have to ask Carrrlos what happened and Paul adds, assuming he survives.

Andre brings Anna to the hospital. She asks him to get her some coffee and asks how he found her. Andre says he looked for a place where Carrrlos might contain her and the meat locker seemed like an obvious choice. She thanks him and says she’ll be eternally grateful.

The EMTs bring Carrrlos in.

Alexis comes into Julian’s office. He asks what she’s doing there and she says he wasn’t answering his phone. Nina comes out in a robe. He says they were having some red wine that got spilled, so he changed shirts. You can tell Alexis thinks something’s up. They leave the office and Alexis asks if he was there the whole time.

Anna wants to go in while their working on Carrrlos. Griff overhears. Sonny comes in and Michael tells him what happened.

Nina realizes Franco left without one of his socks. Maxie calls and tells her about Nathan.

Franco asks Obrecht what happened. She says Nathan was attacked by an escaped prisoner, but his prognosis is good. He tells her about Nina’s rebuff. She says her only son just survived a brush with death and he’s being self-absorbed. She says she’s always been supportive and when she needs him to return the favor, he can’t do it. He says he’s going through a rough patch and she says it’s going to get rougher. She’s no longer chief-of-staff and he’s on his own.

Obrecht goes in to see Nathan. She tells him maybe it’s time to consider a desk job. Maxie agrees, but he says he’s always going to be a cop. He asks what happened to Carrrlos.

Julian tells Alexis he can’t believe she brought Sonny with her. She says no one was picking up their phones and she had to make sure he wasn’t with Carrrlos. Now she’s going to call Sonny to tell him he was wrong.

Jordan wants info on the ships leaving the pier. Andre calls and tells her he found Anna and explains what happened with her an Carrrlos. He says she should come to the ER. Jordan says no one leaves until they find the weapon used on Carrrlos.

Good luck with that, since Julian is at home cleaning it off.

Carrrlos goes into cardiac arrest. Alexis texts sonny that Julian was at Crimson and he calls her a fool. Michael tells Sonny what happened at the pier.

Griff asks Anna if she’s the one who stabbed Carrrlos. She says no and fills him in. Felix comes out and Sonny asks if Carrrlos is alive.

Nina comes to the hospital to see Nathan. Franco looks dismally through the window.

Carrrlos is still alive and Jordan wants to know as soon as he can talk. She asks Michael to come to the station, but he says he’s not answering anything without his lawyer. Jordan asks Anna if she’s okay and says she’ll need Anna’s statement at some point. Andre tells her she knows where he is if she needs to talk. She thanks him and says he’s a real lifesaver.

Paul gets all loud about wanting to know the condition of the prisoner. Felix gets called back into surgery.

I missed this before, but Julian killed Carrrlos with the dagger Alexis’s mother was murdered with. Why it’s on display at their home, I have no clue, but Julian puts it back in the china cabinet. Alexis enters and says she just got a call from the PCPD and they found Carrrlos wounded on the pier, but he’s still alive.

Anna tells Sonny the only way Carrrlos can get out of anything is to give up Julian. Felix says he’s not going to make it to surgery. Anna says they need to talk to him before he dies. Felix says the only one going in is a priest. Griff says they have him; he’s a priest.

Tomorrow, Nicholas plans on making life hell for Hayden, Paul says Sonny is high on the list of suspects and Sonny grills a dying Carrrlos.

General Hospital — Friday

Anna wants to record Carrrlos’s confession. She says it’s their last chance to get what they need. She gets all up in dying Carrrlos’s face and Griff tells her to back off. Griff is going to give him last rites.

Elizabeth has found a new house, so she’s moving out of Windemere. She tells Nicholas his good mood has her nervous. She asks if he’s forgiven Hayden and he says quite the opposite.

Curtis is working out with the punching bag. Hayden comes into the gym. He says she obviously needs help, so what is it? She says she needs him to steal some diamonds from Nicholas. He tells her hell to the no.

Julian cleans off the dagger and puts it back in the china cabinet. Alexis comes downstairs. She says they found Carrrlos wounded on the pier and he made it to the ER still alive. Ha-ha! Julian must be crapping his pants. She says he doesn’t look surprised.

Bad Anna! She says they don’t have time for a religious ceremony. Griff begins anyway. Sonny crosses himself, but he tells Anna it’s not for Carrrlos, it’s just what you do. I see he’s an A&P Catholic.

What I’m wondering is, how did Griff have all this time to go to theology school, go through the years long process of becoming a priest and go to medical school, along with whatever schooling it takes for a specialty? He’s supposed to be around 28.

Commercial break with important information. Don’t forget Once Upon A Time’s 2-hour season finale starts at 7 pm this Sunday.

Elizabeth is hoping that Nicholas kicked Hayden to the curb and she’s getting nothing. He says not yet. She says she hopes he isn’t banking on Hayden changing. Nicholas says he has a plan. He’s going to make Hayden’s life a living hell.

Delighting all the ladies in the audience, Curtis is jumping rope. Hayden says she needs his full attention. She says if there was ever a day for her to start begging, this is the one. She says she has no family or friends, and he’s the only one she can count on. He starts to tape her hands and says he’s going to show her another way to work through her problems.

Julian says of course he’s surprised. Alexis says no one has more to gain from Carrrlos being dead. She asks if he sent someone to kill Carrrlos.

Griff continues to give last rites and my mind boggles that Anna and Sonny are allowed to stand there kibitzing. Carrrlos finishes the Lord’s Prayer in Spanish.

Paul tells Jordan the obvious, that calling in a priest isn’t a good sign. Anna tells Griff this has to stop. I wonder what world they live in where she can interfere with last rites. Oh yeah, soap world.

Anna acts like a jerk. Griff says he’s there as a priest. Anna argues with him about Duke. He says definition of faith… and I completely space out and miss possibly the most important moment of the show. Or at least Griff’s part in it.

Paul says Sonny must be on the short list of suspects (another reason he wouldn’t be allowed in the room). Jordan thinks if she can trace the pen to its owner, she’ll have who killed Carrrlos.

Julian promises Alexis he didn’t send anyone to the docks. I can just hear him justifying this to himself by saying that technically he’s not lying. He says she can check his phone, which would be useless since he could have deleted any evidence there or have a dedicated phone. She asks why Anna called and he says to ask him the same questions Alexis is asking. He says he’s going to the hospital and Alexis tells him he can’t go anywhere near there or he’s asking to be picked up. He says he has to go find out what’s going on.

Griff anoints Carrrlos while Anna won’t STFU. Sonny looks bored. Griff finishes the rites and absolves Carrrlos. I love Griff. He’s one of those do the right thing people who will even tell a best friend that they’re wrong. He asks if there’s anything Carrrlos wants to say and Sonny starts yelling at Carrrlos to admit Julian gave the order to kill Duke. Anna adds her two cents and Carrrlos flatlines. Anna insists Carrrlos would have given up Julian if they hadn’t wasted time with a pointless ritual. Maybe he would have if you two hadn’t screeched at him in the last moments of his life.

Alexis asks Julian why he needs to check on Carrrlos and Julian says he was a friend. Alexis isn’t buying that one and Julian tries to justify all the things he’s ever said about Carrrlos that weren’t very friendly. Alexis realizes there’s a window of time where Julian’s gun wasn’t accounted for. She asks if Julian came back for it.

Jordan is at the door. She’s there to talk to Julian and Alexis about Carrrlos. She tells them he’s dead.

Anna says this is the worst thing that could happen because now there are no ties between Carrrlos and Julian. She makes up scenarios about Sonny killing Julian and Sonny swears he’s on her side. Anna turns to go and almost smacks into Paul who says he’s sorry. Anna says Paul wanted Carrrlos dead as much as Julian and leaves. Sonny asks why Paul would want Carrrlos dead. He says Anna is out of her mind and Sonny says that doesn’t mean he’s not right. He brings up a few “coincidences.” Ava being connected to Julian, who is connected to Carrrlos, who is connected to Paul. Paul says Anna is disturbed. Sonny says Anna is a pro and tougher than Paul.

Griff goes to the chapel and asks for peace in his failings. He talks about finding out Duke was his father and the turmoil he went through with Carrrlos. He wants forgiveness for the satisfaction he felt when Carrrlos died and asks God to welcome Carrrlos into His kingdom and forgive him, since there was no forgiveness in this world for him. Anna watches.

Curtis teaches Hayden to box and tells her he does some of his best thinking in the ring. They spar and Hayden tells him about the diamonds that Nicholas found. She says right now she’s bluffing to keep them at a stand-off, but her resources are dwindling. Curtis suggest she sell her engagement ring online. She says it has sentimental value because it reminds her of when they were happy for five minutes. Curtis suggests selling stuff that Nicholas has around the house. She asks if he’ll help her.

Elizabeth is like, Hayden is still living in the lap of luxury, how is that a living hell? He says a loveless marriage is no cakewalk, but what he has on her will bring her down as much as what she has on him. He adds that Elizabeth gave him a great idea and leaves.

Anna is working my last nerve. While Griff is trying to talk to God, she confronts him and says the one chance they had to get a confession was squandered by him. She asks why he’s been lying to her.

Jordan suggests Carrrlos was still working for Julian. Julian says he was at the office, and Jordan asks what time Alexis saw him there. Alexis says 2:30 am and Jordan says Carrrlos was stabbed prior to that. Julian says Nina can vouch for the rest of the time. Alexis says Julian didn’t shoot Carrrlos and Jordan says who said Carrrlos was shot?

Paul says he wants an arrest for Carrrlos’s murder asap. Sonny tells him he’s putting on a good act and brings up the pen. Paul wants to know if Dante is giving out details on the case, but Sonny says he saw him come into the ER and wonders where the pen came from. He says Anna doesn’t like Paul very much. Paul says Anna is a valued colleague who’s going through a bad time. Sonny says he respects her and Paul says he does too, but it’s inappropriate for her to have a relationship with Sonny. Sonny says she’d bust him in a second if he did anything wrong. He says that if Carrrlos had stuck the pen in Dante’s throat, Dante would have died, and whoever put the pen in his hands, he’s going to deal with them. Paul says he’s making it his business to have a thorough investigation.

Anna says too bad Griff was more concern with giving Carrrlos absolution than he was with Duke’s death. She says Carrrlos deprived them of Duke. Griff says he’d like to help her let go of the anger, pain and grief. She says she gets that his faith gives him comfort, but his lectures on forgiveness are insulting. She says he knows very little about the circumstances of Duke’s life and less about his death. She says Julian gave the order and she’s not resting until he’s brought to justice.

Jordan tells Alexis that Carrrlos was stabbed and it must have been one hell of a blade.

Curtis shows Hayden how to sell stuff online. Hayden says Nicholas is gong to go crazy when he finds out, but the goal is for him to give her money to go away. She thanks Curtis for being a good friend.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth that he’s donating all of Hayden’s clothes to charity. He’s instructed the staff to only keep a pair of underwear and ratty sweatpants. Elizabeth asks if this is just another chapter in their so-called love story. Nicholas says no way and just watch what happens. Elizabeth says hearing that almost makes her not want to move. Almost.

Sonny and Anna go in to where Carrrlos’s body is. Sonny says he spoke to the staff and she’s getting a last chance to say what she needs to say. She says she wants Julian to go down in a court of law. Sonny says that might not happen for Duke’s murder, but someone killed Carrrlos. Sonny leaves and Anna asks dead Carrrlos if he was trying to tell her that Julian murdered him. She talks about the irony of him being loyal to Julian. She says she should feel sorry for him, but she feels like he got what he deserved and somehow, some way, Julian will too.

Jordan says they haven’t found the murder weapon yet but she’s confident they will. She tells them they should call their lawyers since they’ll probably need them. She leaves.

Alexis goes to the cupboard and takes the dagger out. She repeats what Jordan said — it must have been one hell of a blade — and looks at Julian

On Monday, Alexis calls out Julian, Franco is fired from working with Jake, Obrecht wants to take Finn down, and Carly asks what Sonny is planning.

People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

Oh, the horse. All I care about is the horse. — Destiney, referring to Game of Thrones. I totally understand this. I’ve seen the Red Wedding episode at least six times, but never watched when the direwolf gets killed.

Betty White?! Rashawn while googling “Becky with the good hair,” during Lemonade.

What is a resting bitchy [sic] face?
Do you see your face right now? — Cathy and Destiney, respectively, while watching Below Deck: Mediterranean.

Chopped Junior sounds like a bris. — Emerson.

May 11, 2016 — GH, & Little & Big Women in NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina is at the office, staring at the weird picture of her that Franco sketched.

Franco is in a prison visiting room. Heather comes in wearing lots of chains.

Sonny wonders who would transfer Carrrlos in the first place.

Carrrlos tells Julian he’s at Pier 54, which might as well be Studio 54, since it’s so crowded all the time. Julian asks what he’s doing with Anna’s phone. Carrrlos says she found him, but he didn’t kill her, he just put her on ice.

Ah, the reappearance of Duke we were promised. He wakes Anna.

Carrrlos tells Julian he has no money and no ID. Julian says it’s too risky, but Carrrlos tells Julian he still has a life because of him. He just wants to be reunited with Sabrrrina and the baby, and swears Julian will never hear from him again.

Nina almost whacks Dillon in the head. He was coming in to catch up on work and didn’t realize she was sleeping there. She says the MetroCourt was booked. Kiki runs in and tells Nina she has to get home now, because Franco is losing his mind.

Franco asks Heather if she’s surprised, since the last time he saw her, she was trying to inject Nina with LSD. He tells her he’s painting again and she says she’s working on some new paintings herself. She’s moved on from sandwiches to salads. He shows Heather his latest work, a portrait of her.

Carly tells Sonny that Dante wants him to stay out of it and let the police handle it. Sonny says they see things differently. She says Carrrlos is in so much trouble, he’s going to have to take whatever deal they give him. Michael comes in and says what if they don’t find him.

Carrrlos tells Julian that he’ll have no choice but to take the plea bargain if he gets caught. Julian tells him not to get caught.

Duke, who looks amazing for a dead guy, tells Anna how beautiful she is. She says it’s been a nightmare without him and she failed him. She says she tried to bring Carrrlos to justice and Duke deserves better than that. Duke says he doesn’t want her wasting her life on that; they’re together now and that’s all that matters.

No surprise, Julian gets his gun. Alexis walks in with a cop. Good.

Kiki tells Nina it’s urgent and Dillon is surprised she left the apartment by herself. Nina says she and Franco broke up. Kiki says he’s not taking it well, and painting some scary things.

Heather says Franco’s creative forces are back. He says he’s been having a hard time with Nina because she wants a baby. Heather says a new version of Franco would be great, but he says it’s a terrible idea. He says her adoption talk was the beginning of the end. Heather says she never liked Nina anyway. Franco says he’s lost without her and the only good thing he has left is his job at the hospital as an art therapist. He says Obrecht helped him and she’s been very supportive. Heather says Obrecht is trying to stifle his creativity with a mundane job. Franco says she’s not the problem. Since he lost Nina, he’s been having dark thoughts that he doesn’t know how to stop. He doesn’t know how to get Nina back. Heather badmouths Nina some more and Franco tells her to stop and tell him how to win Nina back instead.

Carly says if Carrrlos isn’t found, Sonny needs to cut his losses and not poison his life seeking revenge. She says he should be grateful for what he has. They hear Avery cry over the monitor. Carly says Avery feels the same way and goes to tend to her. Michael tells Sonny what happened when he went to see Carrrlos. He asks if Jason’s interference was Sonny’s idea. Sonny says Carly is right and Carrrlos is trouble no one needs.

Alexis comes in with two cops. She says she told Jordan that if Julian heard from Carrrlos, he would have said something. One of the officers says they have a search warrant and they go looking. Alexis asks Julian what’s up with the gun. He says it’s to protect himself, since Carrrlos is on the loose. Alexis locks it up, but Julian hides another weapon in his waistband. He tells her he has to go to the office.

Carrrlos hears the cops coming. Anna tells Duke she’s been lost without him. She’s had grief, rage and pain about the unfairness of it all. She tells him his funeral was beautiful and people were so kind, she forgot for a while, but then fell into despair. She tells him about shooting Carrrlos and how she let the anger win. Duke tells her it’s over. He says it can’t be undone and she can’t go on reliving it. Anna says they had so much more they could have done and it’s gone. They laugh about the things they might have done. He says they both lost so much, but they’re together now. He kisses her hand.

Kiki tells Nina that Franco is spiraling and she needs to ground him. Nina says she can’t do that, and Dillon says she can’t even sleep without him. Nina says they waited so long to have sex and when they did it was great. If only they’d stayed in bed. Kiki is like, this is TMI.

Heather says she’s never been able to hang on to any of the men she’s been involved with. Franco says he’s come to accept that they’re more alike than he wants to admit. Heather says he’s a splendid son, despite who his father is, although she and Scotty were at their best in bed. Franco says it’s same with him and Nina, and Heather tells him to get her back between the sheets.

Duke talks about how if he’d begged Anna to run away with him before the Nurses Ball, they’d be in that cottage they talked about now. She tells him to take his own advice, no regrets, and tells him about Griff. The cops come, and Carrrlos hides under the pier.

The cops leave Julian’s and he tells Alexis he has to go. She asks if he’s going to see Carrrlos. He asks if she’s always going to question him now and she tells him to go, but be careful. He tells her he loves her and leaves.

Sonny calls Max, but no word on Carrrlos. Michael says Sonny seems surprisingly calm. They hear Carly with Avery over the monitor and Michael asks Sonny if the thing with Carrrlos is ever going away. Sonny says Carrrlos will get what he deserves, no matter who gives it to him. He thanks Michael for not putting himself at risk and coming home.

Duke asks who Griff’s mother is and Anna says Margaret Monroe. Duke says she was very shy, but serious. He says they broke up before he came to America, but he didn’t know she was pregnant. Anna tells him what Griff told her and about the letter.

Ha-ha! I can’t believe these goons don’t see Carrrlos’s head sticking out of the water.

The phone at Nina’s office rings. It’s Alexis, but she gets voicemail.

Julian gets to the pier. Carrrlos comes out of the water and tells him the cops just left. He says if anyone asks, he’ll say he was just taking a stroll. Carrrlos thanks him for coming and Julian says he’s there for him. If Carrrlos believes that, I have a bridge I’d like to sell him.

Alexis keeps trying to call Crimson’s office, but Nina thinks it’s Franco and won’t answer. She says if he wants to get back together, he needs to make a grand gesture.

Franco says he can’t believe that he came to Heather for advice. He says Nina won’t even talk to him, so how is he supposed to get her into bed? Heather says excuses are for ordinary people, not for extraordinary ones like them. Franco asks how that’s working for her. She says she thought she’d never see him again for one. She tells him to think big.

Carly and Michael come back downstairs to no Sonny. Carly asks if Sonny was talking about Carrrlos, and Michael says he said Sonny claimed that Carrrlos would get what’s coming to him.

Sonny thinks Julian is going to help Carrrlos, since he already killed a witness. Alexis says there was no evidence of foul play. Sonny says that doesn’t mean Julian didn’t do it. Alexis says it was strange that the witness suddenly showed up in the first place. Sonny says if Carrrlos comes back, it will ruin Julian’s new life. Alexis says he didn’t do it and Sonny says why isn’t he home then, adding because he’s with Carrrlos.

Julian gives Carrrlos some money and Carrrlos says he’ll never hear from him or see him again. He says men like them keep each other’s secrets. Julian says Carrrlos has a family to raise now. Carrrlos says just like Julian. Julian says the only thing left is good-by. I have a bad feeling about this, Beavis.

Anna tells Duke more about Griff, and how kind and generous he is, and that he’s a surgeon. Anna says when she’s with him, it’s like a part of Duke is in the room. She says Emma met him and is crazy about him. Duke says he always felt like Emma and Robin were his own family, but now he’s learned he has a son, but can’t be a part of his life.

Franco leaves and Heather goes on to the guards about what a genius he is.

Alexis opens the door to leave and runs into Sonny.

Kiki begs Nina to reach out to Franco, but she says it’s over. She says she needs some sleep and asks them to leave. Dillon says if Franco is being weird, he should follow Kiki home. Nina says relationships don’t work out, but Kiki says they’re just friends. I smell a set up.

Michael says he has to leave and clear his head. Carly tells him don’t go near the pier, the docks or Sonny’s office. He tells her Sonny will come home; he always does.

Sonny says Julian has two options, helping Carrrlos or killing him. Alexis says Julian claimed he went to Crimson, but isn’t picking up the phone.

Nina comes back into the office and Franco is there. In his birthday suit.

Duke tells Anna to tell Griff he loves him and would have sacrificed everything for him. Anna says there’s a lot of Duke in him, except for dancing. She says she loves Duke and always will. He says he feels the same way. They kiss. He tells her he promises she’ll get through this. Anna wakes up alone.

Julian says despite the trouble Carrrlos caused him, he did a lot for him and he’s grateful. Carrrlos says ditto and adios, amigo. Julian stabs him.

Tomorrow, Franco begs Nina to come back, no one can find Anna, Sonny accuses Alexis of lying, and Maxie asks if Nathan made it.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Sonja is visiting her facialist, who is discussing something about placenta and the black market. I don’t want to know. Sonja has a party coming upand the facialist didn’t get her invite. Because you always invite your facialist to your parties. Sonja talks to her assistant about the RSVPs.

Jules comes by Carole’s place. She’s invited everyone over for a psychic reading and we flash back to the coffee grounds reader who was so accurate. Really. She was. The psychic’s name is Kim Russo and Dorinda is a big fan. Kim says she reads energy and that it can’t be destroyed, so she can talk about people living or dead. Jules doesn’t want to be rude, but says in her interview that seeing a psychic isn’t very Jewish.

Kim talks to Dorinda about the many Johns in her life. Bethenny jokes that it’s an uncommon name, she’s a born cynic, and pass more cheese. Kim brings up Dorinda’s dead husband. Carole says part of her doesn’t believe this stuff, but there’s another part that wants it to be real. Kim tells Dorinda something about coins and that her husband is sending them, and this strikes a chord. Ramona is late and of course has to be noisy because everyone must focus on her and only her.

Dorinda gets weepy and says that before her husband died, he said he was going to leave change for her, and when she sees it, she should know he’s looking out for her. She says she finds them in weird places. Dead husband Richard says John is good for now, but can’t give her the “safety” she needs.

Kim says she sees a man around Bethenny and asks if there’s an anniversary of a death soon. Bethenny checks her phone and says it’s her father. Kim tells Bethenny that her father communicates in a distant way and also not to say she won’t get married again, even though Kim doesn’t see her doing it. Bethenny isn’t too impressed. Dorinda asks if she’ll get married again and Kim says yes, but not to John. Big mouth Ramona says, thank God, and Dorinda tells her to shut up and quit talking smack about John. She says she doesn’t give Ramona her opinion about the idiots Ramona brings around. Oooh, Dorinda brings up Mario leaving her for someone else. I kind of don’t blame her, because Ramona won’t shut up. Carole says it’s embarrassing.

Ramona asks if she’ll get married again and Kim says yes, but this time she’ll do things differently. Bethenny has to leave to pick up her daughter and she’s like, thanks for the cheese. Kim talks to Ramona about her father, and Ramona says he died shortly after the first time they actually connected. Kim brings up a photo and Ramona gets weepy as we see the photo in question. They take a break and Dorinda says Ramona needs to stop talking about John because it’s ruining their relationship.

Kim tells Carole she did a good thing for her friends because other emotions came out and it’s healing. Um…probably not.

Carole visits Jules, who doesn’t know what an iPod is, or the difference between one and an iPad. Carole asks for tea and Jules is confused as to how to make it. She does live on this planet, right? Jules talks about the psychic and Carole says she didn’t tell Kim anything about any of them beforehand. They talk about Bethenny’s skepticism and Carole says she was on her phone the whole time. They show a clip, and yep, she was.

Carole brings up Ramona being stupid and then what the psychic said about Jules. Jules tells Carole about her eating disorder and in her interview, Carole reflects on how Jules has an interesting and obvious relationship with food. Carole says Jules wants to express herself in a way that emancipates her and empowers other women. Jules says when she was in rehab, she wished she had someone to look up to and give her hope, and she would love to be a role model, something the psychic also talked about. Carole says at some point, Jules should think about a way to articulate it, whether it’s through writing, speeches, or whatever. Jules says she could hire someone to write it and Carole says she knows a good ghostwriter. Ha-ha!

John and Dorinda meet for dinner. Dorinda says the menu has really small writing on it and she’s right, it’s tiny. John wants some PDA and Dorinda is like, no and stop it. She brings up Ramona’s remarks at the psychic reading. John says he’s been a gentleman and Ramona has been nothing but rude. In her interview, Dorinda says she and John can be volatile and he wants to make it about him, but she wants it to be about her tonight. She says neither John nor Ramona are taking her feelings into consideration. Dorinda says the psychic said Ramona would get married again and John says he wants the best for her and starts talking about himself. She tells him he’s not even letting her get a whole sentence out.

Dorinda says if John and Ramona can’t be friends they need to be cordial. John wants to comment, but she tells him not if it’s about the past. He can’t do it and can’t seem to stop talking about it. Dorinda says she stood up for him and he should be thanking her. She tells him he’s not listening and he can grab an EZ-Pass back to Queens. I’m not sure what she means by that, since it’s a device for a car.She leaves him sitting there swilling pasta.

Sonja is throwing a birthday party for herself and also revealing her latest venture. She’s told no one about it and says she’s taken Bethenny’s advice.

Bethenny is doing some kind of promotion on the street in Manhattan. It’s raining, but tons of people still come out. Bethenny says she’s very involved with her brand and doesn’t just slap her name on something like some celebrities do. She passes out some kind of shakes from a food truck. People are taking selfies with her and we flash back to her first promotion that no one came to. She talks to her assistants afterward and recognizes their hard work. She says everyone would kill for the job only because they don’t know how hard it is.

Sonja is setting up for the party and Peter, her business partner enters. They talk about their presentation. The venue looks huge, although Sonja says it holds about 100 people.

Dorinda and Sonja kiss John on the cheeks. Eew! Dorinda says she’s about going forward and they’re going to have a good night. Ramona talks about the Countess’s birthday gift to her. Sonja is annoyed that she has to hear the regifting story again and wonders what Ramona got her for her birthday.

The Countess enters and takes Ramona aside. She tells Ramona she heard that she thinks The Countess moving in with Sonja is a bad idea. Ramona says it will be a revolving door of men and endless drinking. Jules is trying to eavesdrop. Her husband is down with that and asks if she wants him to be her beard. The Countess says Ramona is one to talk, but Ramona says although she likes a good time, she dosn’t go as far as they do. Hello? Turks and Caicos anyone? Sonja joins them and says quit talking about me.

The drinks are flowing. Dorinda tells The Countess about the necklace and Ramona says thanks a lot since she didn’t have a chance to say something herself. Ramona is pretty ticked off about this regifting business, but it turns out that Ramona doesn’t understand what the word is. What happened is this. The Countess had shown Ramona a necklace from her jewelry line that Ramona loved, but it was a sample and made out of cheaper materials that her skin reacted to. When the actual piece was manufactured, The Countess gave Ramona one for her birthday. This is not regifting and I don’t think I need to explain what that is. Ramona bitches some more and compares the necklace to the bag The Countess gave Bethenny for her birthday. Ramona is tedious and I don’t think I could take five minutes with her.

Sonja has John quiet everyone. She thanks them all for being supportive. She says they’re going to be passing trays with her new prosciutto wine, called Tipsy Girl. Not too close to Bethenny’s SkinnyGirl. Ramona doesn’t think liquor should be anything Sonja is involved with. Jules thinks that Bethenny isn’t going to appreciate the name, but Dorinda thinks she won’t care.

Jules approaches Sonja with her concerns, but Sonja is oblivious.

Next time, Sonja and The Countess join forces, Bethenny explains that a brand that rides another brand’s coattails is called a cheater brand and is a personal insult, and John kicks Ramona out. Should be good.

Little Women: NY

I’m not recapping Little Women: LA — Matt and Briana, but I do want to mention that I came to believe Matt is an opportunist. Enough said.

Jazmin’s husband, David, has to go to Florida for work, and she’s looking for a roommate because she wants to stay in NYC. She goes over to Jess’s place to ask if she can stay there, but Jess just got a roommate. She introduces Jess to Katie, who is also pregnant.

Katie says she knows Dawn and her husband (Jazmin’s brother). She says she saw them at LP conventions when they were younger, but they lost touch. She asks Jazmin how Dawn is as a sister-in-law, and Jazmin gives her a mini earful, no pun intended. Jess says she finds it hard to believe Katie and Dawn were friends, and wonders what happened to Dawn to make her so cranky.

Jason and DJ are having a rooftop brunch. DJ lives in Connecticut and comes in on the weekends. Lila and Jason haven’t spoken since Lila acted like an asshat, kicking Terra out of the housewarming party for absolutely no reason. Jason and DJ talk about their relationship and what they like about each other. It’s Jason’s first relationship, so everything is new.

Jess invites Dawn to lunch. She’s hoping to correct some of Dawn’s misconceptions. Good luck with that. If you can get the stick out of Dawn’s butt, let me know. Dawn is immediately condescending about Jess’s wrestling past and how she thinks it’s a bad influence on Jazmin. Jess says judging people by their profession isn’t fair. While Dawn agrees, she says they come from a small community and the world is judgmental. Jess says she should still be able to do what she wants to do regardless of her size. Dawn asks if she thinks it’s progressive and Jess says it’s not all that serious. Dawn brings up dwarf tossing which is not the same thing. Jess says bye, Felicia…er, Dawn.

Jason makes breakfast for Lila as a peace offering and says they should talk. He apologizes for not giving her a heads up about Terra, but says he had no idea she would get so crazy about it. He asks if anything is wrong and Lila bursts into tears. Her father has been suffering from lung disease. She’s been going back and forth to Ohio to help, and he didn’t make it. Jason feels even worse now. He tells Lila her dad is watching over her and her mom now. Lila says it puts things into perspective.

Katie meets Terra in the park. They’ve known each other for years and Katie wants to connect since Terra just had a baby and can relate. Katie says considering the measurements, her baby is going to be a little person. Terra asks where PJ (Katie’s baby daddy) is, and Katie says they’re taking a break. Katie wants to get married. Terra says it will be okay; she and Joe weren’t married when they had Penny. Katie is worried her daughter is going to grow up without a dad. Terra says Katie has a great family and support system of friends, and even if PJ doesn’t come around, Katie’s baby has Katie. Katie feels a lot better after talking with Terra.

It’s time for David to leave and it’s hard on Jazmin. She doesn’t go with him to the airport because it’s hard enough to get just yourself through the airport these days. Jazmin says she has big dreams and tons of determination. She decides to vent to Jason.

Jazmin tells Jason about approaching Dawn as a roommate and Dawn giving her a lecture. Jason says he’s not surprised, but still thinks it’s cold. He says he and Lila have a spare room and she can move in with them. He says he can turn Will and Grace into Three’s Company. They FaceTime with Lila in Ohio. Lila says it’s been busy, but she and her mom know that once everything quiets down, it’s going to feel lonely. Lila explains the situation, but before she can say anything about moving in, Lila suggests it. Problem solved.

Katie has a doctor’s appointment and Jess tags along. The doctor asks the usual questions and they go in for a sono. Loud baby. The doctor says the baby has extra digits on both hands. The baby’s father also has six fingers on each hand. Katie says she’s okay with it, but asks if it’s removable. The doctor says yes, as long as there’s no bone involved. Katie is concerned about the cost of the delivery and doesn’t know what to do.

Jason and Jazmin “pinkify” Lila’s room with flowers and balloons. Wet blanket Dawn drops by and says it might be best to give Lila her space. Since she’s lost both her parents and is the authority on everyone’s feelings. She’s also the first one to be all over Lila the second she walks through the door.

Lila is happy to be home and feels loved and supportive. She says that she’s learned family matters and she’s getting a new sister in Jazmin. Dawn says blah-blah-blah about how Jazmin should be independent, but she’s glad that Jazmin has a safe roof over her head. I focus on their really cute long-haired Chihuahua.

Jazmin makes the big move. Lila says little people and big boxes do not mix. Jazmin says Jason and Lila are more like family than Dawn will ever be. Jazmin suggests they do some belly dancing to celebrate.

Jazmin invites the gang to a Mediterranean restaurant. Jess isn’t looking forward to seeing Dawn. Dawn is surprised to see Katie and thinks she should be keeping better company than Jess. Dawn asks what brought Katie to the city. Katie explains about the trial separation, and Dawn acts like the lead balloon she is. In her interview, Dawn says it doesn’t sound like a good plan and wonders what Katie will do if PJ doesn’t come after her. She asks how Katie met Jess, and Katie says they met through wrestling and fields Dawns comments before she makes them. Jazmin says you should be supportive or keep your mouth shut. Jess says Dawn is ignorant because she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Dawn says if they’re defensive, they probably feel embarrassed by it. No, they’re just tired of your disparaging comments.

The exploitation discussion starts and Jazmin says they’re talking about her like she’s not there. Jazmin tells Dawn not to treat her she’s a child and she’s ignorant. Dawn says she thinks pretty highly of herself, meaning Dawn thinks very highly of herself. Who the blip says things like that?

A belly dancer comes out to change the focus. She’s wearing a tray of lit candles on her head and I’m not sure what to think. Everyone puts scarves with bells on them around their waists. Lila says with short arms, the moves just don’t look the same.

Jazmin is sick of Dawn’s attitude, and asks her to go to the ladies room. Jazmin tells her that she’s sick of Dawn talking down to her. She says she’s hurt that when she came to Dawn for help, she turned her back on Jazmin, but on the other hand, Dawn is all up in Jazmin’s business. She tells Dawn to stop trying to be a family member when she’s just an in-law. Lila joins them and Dawn looks like she smelled something bad, tells them they’re going around in circles, and leaves.

Dawn tells Jason good-by. Jazmin tells Lila she’s done.

Next time, the group uses a Slip’N Slide, Jazmin catches Katie smoking, and Lila and Dawn have it out.

May 10, 2016 — GH, Below the Grecian Deck & Lots of Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Hope you get a chance to check out The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed. The Secrets episode used to be subtitled Lost Footage, but I’m glad they changed it. It was just a bit of an insult to our intelligence (even though we are watching Real Housewives). I mean, really, did anyone think they just suddenly found this stuff? Sometimes, the scenes in Secrets Revealed are better than what we’ve seen throughout the season, and certainly more pleasant, and this one was a really fun show.

General Hospital

Alexis ponders a sleeping Julian. She goes downstairs and calls a guy named Oscar. She wants a post-mortem on Hale. She wants to know if it’s confirmed that it was an accidental overdose. Sam pops out of the dark in the living room.

Sonny makes a nice dinner for Carly. She wonders when he had the time and he says he sometimes cooks something up in the restaurant kitchen to relieve stress. Who knew? Carly tells him to let the legal system to take care of Carrrlos and he says it hasn’t done too well so far.

Paul tells Jordan if they don’t come up with some physical evidence to support the case, Carrrlos is going to walk.

Griff sees Anna’s gun box. She says she didn’t get a chance to put it away after securing her firearm when she got back. Griff gets nervous around guns and Anna asks if it’s because of Duke. He says partly, but one was also used against him.

Lulu and Maxie discuss wedding dresses. Maxie wants to go look at wedding dresses in NYC and take a side trip to Claudette’s address. She says once she knows why everything is such a secret, she can live happily ever after with Nathan.

Jason tells Dante he’s going to get him out of there. How? In the blown up van or the motorcycle?

Jordan asks Paul if it isn’t his job to compensate the lack of evidence by making a good argument. He thinks back to when he left the pen and paperclip for Carrrlos.

Carrrlos hides in the woods. Nathan calls for an ambulance and back up.

Carly brings up Sabrrrina’s statement, but Sonny says it can be thrown out of court since she’s not present and there’s no physical evidence. He says Alexis will do anything to protect Julian. Carly says that’s only because she can’t have Sonny, the mobster she really wanted and had to settle.

Alexis asks why Sam is sitting there in the dark and if she and Danny are okay. Sam says Danny is at the Quartermaines’ and she came to check on Alexis. Alexis says Anna was unhinged and practically twisted arms to put her in lock-up. She tells Sam that Anna was relentless in bringing up the past. Sam asks why Alexis would order an autopsy in the middle of the night and Alexis says she’s just being thorough. Sam tells her she wants her to stop with the defense of Carrrlos.

Nathan asks what the ETA is, since there are three injured people. Jason tends to Dante who asks what happened and where Nathan and Carrrlos are. I guess he doesn’t care about the poor nameless dead driver. Oddly enough, the only one who was apparently wearing a seat belt.

Anna asks if Griff was shot and he says yes. She asks if it was a robbery. He says he wasn’t a victim and the truth is, he asked for it because he was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. He says he was committing an act that had no justification, but he’s asked forgiveness for it. Okay, he has me intrigued. The phone rings. It’s Jordan and Anna has to go to the station. Griff also has to go to the ER and Anna asks if they can continue later.

Alexis asks for some consideration and Sam thinks she’s being coerced in some way. Sam says not to lecture her about how Carrrlos deserves a defense; it’s Julian’s mess to clean up, not hers. She says Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill Duke and he hasn’t changed or redeemed what he’s done in the past. She reminds Alexis there’s a reason for no statute of limitations on murder. Alexis says Jason is no better, but Sam say she’s not going to get sidetracked by listing how they’re different. Sam asks if she wanted the autopsy report because she wants to know if Julian killed Hale. Julian appears and says Sam should ask him that.

Lulu tells Maxie that bringing up the past doesn’t change it or make it better. Maxie says she doesn’t doubt Nathan loves her, but she doesn’t want Claudette being the unseen third person in their marriage. Lulu says she’s made peace with the Valerie and Dante thing and Maxie should just let it go.

Jason tells Dante what happened. He says the driver didn’t make it, but didn’t see anyone else except Dante. Dante asks how he got out from under the van and Jason says that’s a long story. A long story with a bunch of people who weren’t really there.

Anna blows into the station, yelling at Jordan about Carrrlos escaping. Jordan says she didn’t even have to tell Anna and Anna calms down. Jordan gives her the preliminary details. She says Carrrlos fled on foot with Nathan pursuing. Paul joins them and says it might be a random accident. Anna asks if he orchestrated it.

Julian says he refuses to let Sam accuse Alexis of anything and she tells him to butt out. The phone rings and Alexis finds out about Carrrlos’s escape from a transfer she wasn’t advised about. She has to leave but tells Sam and Julian to mind their manners with each other. Julian says he supposes Sam thinks he had something to do with Carrrlos’s escape.

Carly says Alexis wanted to reform Sonny into a house husband. He says he only cooks on special occasions. She says Alexis couldn’t move on and turned it into a moral crusade until she finally got a mobster of her own. Sonny says he agrees, but he’s more worried about her getting Carrrlos off. Carly says what if that happens? Sonny says she sounds like Jason asking a question he doesn’t want the answer to. Sonny says Jason is conflicted and thinks Sonny wants him to do his dirty work. Carly says they have to give him time to trust his instincts and let his memory bring him back.

Max calls. Sonny asks if he’s sure and who’s involved.

Lulu gets a call from the station about Dante and has to go to the ER. She asks Maxie to call Olivia to look after Rocco and explains about Dante.

Jason tells Dante about how he moved the van and how it blew up afterward. Dante says Jason saved his life. Well, yeah.

Sam says she doesn’t know if Julian had anything to do with Hale’s death, but she doesn’t like what it’s doing to Alexis. Julian says as soon as Carrrlos gets off, everything will be over. Sam is like, I see you don’t care much about the witness dying. She says she was supportive until the wedding turned into a hostage situation and she realized Julian hadn’t changed. She says Alexis seems less like an attorney than a desperate woman trying to hang on to the man she loves and she blames him for that.

Paul says how could he have caused an accident from the station?

Maxie and Lulu run into the hospital and Griff brings him up to speed. Maxie says Nathan isn’t answering her texts and is worried that he was in the accident too.

The paramedics arrive. Dante asks if Nathan is okay. One of the EMTs says Nathan could have a possible skull fracture and Nathan passes out.

Carrrlos somehow finds himself back at the docks like a homing pigeon.

Sonny and Carly get to the hospital. Lulu tells them what happened. Carly says the only thing they know is that there was an explosion. Dante is brought in. He tells Griff he’s fine, even though he has a knife sticking out of him and probably squashed legs. He tells them how Jason got him out from under the van. Nathan is brought in next. Griff says he’ll do everything in his power to save him; he owes him that much. More intrigue.

There’s a knock at Julian’s door. It’s Jason looking for Sam. She asks if he’s okay and he says better than he’s been in a long time.

Alexis asks Paul where Anna is. He says she slipped out and that can only mean she’s going after Carrrlos on her own.

Like the buzzards returning to Hinckley, Anna goes to the docks. She finds Carrrlos hiding. He says they meet again in the same place. He says she shot him four times and he’s not wearing a vest this time. He says she has a second chance because he’s not going back to prison. He tells her to pull the trigger and make it count. Nooo! Not my Carrrlos!

Anna tells him he deserves it, but there’s enough evidence to get a guilty verdict. She says a cop died tonight because of him. He says the accident wasn’t part of his plan; he was just trying to save his own life. She says that’s all that matters to him. He says she’s just like him and asks if she would be chasing him that hard if it hadn’t been Duke. Uh-oh, it doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. Oh wait, he was just fooling and gets the best of Anna. The gun goes into the water and they fight. Nice. She kicks his ass, but he ends up the victor. Anna is down for the count.

Paul tells Alexis he’s been watching her calculate what works out best for Julian and she tells him to go to hell.

Carrrlos takes Anna into a freeezer of some kind and leaves her there. What the blip do they do on the docks? Why is there a humongous freezer there?

Dante tells everyone what he remembers. Sonny says he should have killed Carrrlos when he had the chance. Dante apologizes for the screw up even though it’s not his fault. Jordan comes running in and says Nathan just went into surgery. Sonny says if she wants to find Carrrlos to check with Julian.

Jason wants to talk to Sam, who says she and Julian will talk later

Carrrlos calls Julian and says he needs Julian’s help – now

Sam tells Jason he should go to the hospital. He says he’s not hurt, but he remembers. He remembers everything, and I can’t believe I start to tear up. They kiss

Tomorrow, Anna is found, Carrrlos is surrounded, and Kiki says Franco is losing his mind.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

When we last left, Hannah was running around like a nut trying to find a way for the primary’s husband, boyfriend or whatever he is, to watch the Steelers game, lest the crew be penalized. Whiny Bob complains that he’s never missed a game and he was too stupid to plan the vacay around this one. I added that last part because I hate him with a passion.

Captain Mark messes with the cable on the yacht. The guys are all helping and they finally get an internet connection.

Ben is cooking scorpion fish and prays the guests like it, since Bob was a d-bag about the moussaka. He says it’s the filet mignon of fish. Hannah comes back and says there’s not one bar she can find that has anything but a local channel. Fear not though, the captain has come to the rescue. Tiffany is also a big Steelers fan and is jazzed.

Aw, Bob is all happy now like I give a flying. Ben is concerned that the kitchen is going to turn into a social hub. Hannah serves dinner and King Bob is pleased. Let’s all bow down, shall we? Do these people realize they’re on camera or do they just not care? After I saw a re-run of a Below Deck episode where there was an even more insufferable primary, he got on Twitter and claimed it wasn’t like that. He’d made a display of withholding part of the tip for a reason so petty, I’ve forgotten what it was. I didn’t fault him for tipping less, but it was appalling that he made a show of it, presenting the wad of cash to Captain Lee, and then removing some of it. I rarely tweet, but I told him that it was like that and maybe he should buy himself a personality with all his money. I just couldn’t help it.

Julia and Bobby seem to be getting along pretty well. She asks how well he holds his liquor and he says he can maintain, which means something totally different where she comes from.

Cranky Bob tells the captain his life story, like the captain cares. There’s difficulty with the buffering in streaming the game. The crew is exhausted already and the game will be on until 6 am their time.

They’re getting snippets of the game and it keeps going to freeze frame. Get these people drunk and show them cartoons, I say. Hannah goes to bed while Bob uses the f-word a couple of thousand times. He sniffles that the audio is bad. Tiffany hears me and says she’s gong to get him drunk. Aw, Bob is finally happy and jumping up and down like the 3-year-old he is. The Steelers loose. Good. I don’t really care, I just hate Bob.

Bob tells Danny he’s thinking of stealing one of the small boats. Let him, I say. Bryan tells Danny his radio is out and he shouldn’t be so casual with the guests. Danny thinks if he makes a connection, they might get a better tip. Duh, yeah.

Everyone is up and working. Julia says you always have to be doing something. It’s kind of like working at the Gap. I worked there for a back-to-school season when I first moved to NYC and you had to be moving all the time just in case the regional manager came in. We unfolded and refolded clothes a lot. Hannah asks Stupid Bob if he’s happy and he says yes, but she’s not happy with Tiffany. Tiffany watched some of the game with Bob at his request, since no one else was willing to keep him company all night, and Hannah thinks she should be working harder. I guess she was supposed to clone herself.

Jen hates everything about Greece, specifically the old buildings (what you call ancient architecture) and the food. Add another moron to the list. Ben tells Hannah to chill about Tiffany. He says she’s a third stew and not expected to be amazing yet. Hannah sends Tiffany to help Julia. Tiffany is upset about how Hannah is treating her and since Julia’s been in the same position, she tells her everything will be fine.

Hannah says she wants Tiffany to succeed and be happy, but doesn’t want to lower her standards. Ben tells her again to chill.

Captain Mark has been giving specific instructions on how to dock in this particular place because it’s really tight. I know from the previous seasons that docking is extremely difficult and has to be done perfectly. Bryan tells Jen what she needs to do. She claims she can do it with one hand tied behind her back, but she hasn’t seemed very capable up until now.

Big discussion among the male guests about the game. I’m hoping Village Idiot Bob had money on it. Deckhand Bobby says it’s nerve-wracking trying to dock. Captain Mark says it’s tough with a group of people who have never done this together before. Ben is impressed with the captain. The crew gets into their formal-wear for the departure.
Impossible-To-Please Bob says despite the game debacle, it’s the best trip he’s ever had. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I’d hate to be with him when he’s having a bad time.

Jen and Tiffany bond because neither one of them are “girly.” Bob tells Hannah he took an “objective test” and he’s clinically depressed. Did he get it off the internet?

It’s good-by or aloha or whatever. Primary Guest Christine thanks the captain and crew. She says everything was great, but there were a couple of “hiccups.” God, I promise if you make me rich, I won’t be an a-hole. Please-oh-please-oh-please. As fabulous as I think working on a yacht would be, I seriously doubt I could handle some of these people. They bitch about the game and how Bob wasn’t pleased. This comes from another one of the female guests since Cowardly Bob isn’t in sight and Christine just stands there and smiles. Now, my favorite part — tip time!

Captain Mark says they did quite well considering some of the obstacles they had. 15,000 Euros or $1388 each. For a three day trip. The captain says they deserve a night out and no drinking too much on the boat.

Julia has been with her boyfriend for two years and she says he’s a keeper. They show a few pics of him and I have to agree, he looks good. She says she used to be an idiot where men are concerned. Jen is pissed because she feels like she’s not being given important tasks. Well, maybe one of the reasons is her attitude. Bryan FaceTimes with his dad and tells him about his promotion to chief officer.

The crew gets gussied up and has a kiki before going to shore. Tiffany says she’s going to marry Ben so her name can be Mrs. Robinson. Hannah is embarrassed because Tiffany is drinking wine out of a bottle. Who cares? I can tell Hannah is going to be a barrel of laughs on night’s out.

The crew goes to a restaurant and makes small talk. Hannah acts all flirty with Ben. My advice to Ben is, don’t. While they’re having wine and deciding what to order, Tiffany calls Hannah “mom,” so Hannah calls her a trashbag. I’m not kidding. What a horrible human being. Tiffany is either too nice or drunk to say anything equally disgusting back. After dinner, they move on to a bar. They sit outside and Hannah keeps calling Tiffany a trashbag until Danny tells her to knock it off. Thank you. Tiffany says something about being tired and Hannah gets on her case because you shouldn’t complain about your job during off hours while you’re drinking. Hannah says Tiffany needs to take responsibility for what she signed up for. Both Ben and Bryan think Hannah is wasting her time trying to lecture someone who is drunk. Bryan tries to get in the middle and Hannah tells him to piss off. Hannah makes Tiffany cry, so I guess she feels successful now.

Danny is hitting on some girls and gets some numbers. Like he’s ever going to get together with anyone he met in Greece. Ben tells Tiffany he’s sorry she had to deal with Hannah’s crap on her night off. Ben thinks that stuff shouldn’t be done during off hours and especially not while you’re drinking. Another thank you. Ben likes Tiffany because she’s weird and smart. Hannah discusses Tiffany with Bryan. He tells her it’s the time to let loose, not the time for criticism. She tells him to stay in his lane and in his interview, he says she seems to have forgotten he’s the boss as first officer. Hannah gives him the finger and says he’s not going to get away with speaking to her like that. She tells him to do his managing the way he wants to and she’ll do hers the way she wants to. But you’re not managing, Blanche!

Next week, Danny brings girls on the boat, the yacht is chartered for a photo shoot, Danny hits on the models, and Danny cries. Lots of Danny.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we left, Brad had just walked in, wanting to talk to Alex, but discovered Randal there. Alex didn’t want Randal there, but that’s Brad’s usual bad timing. Randal says he was just there to see his son and he was just leaving. Randal says he’ll see Alex tomorrow in court and she tells him to get out. He says, see you, little Randal, to the baby with that stupid, sick smile on his face.

Alex asks Brad why he’s there and he says it’s obvious she wasn’t expecting him. She says he was supposed to call when he was coming to see the kids. He says he lied, but she wouldn’t know anything about lying. She says if he wants a fight, he’s going to fight by himself and Randal was just there to see his son. Brad says, so you admit it now, like it wasn’t obvious. I mean, really. Brad acts high and mighty, and Alex says she’s apologized a million times, but the only time Brad is happy is when he’s punishing her. Brad says he doesn’t know her anymore and she says that makes two of them. He says he’s been consistent and Alex is like, really? Moving in with Marcie is consistent? They spar a little more and she asks why he’s there. Brad says hearing her say that makes him realize he shouldn’t be and Alex is like, bye then.

Julius Sr.’s sidekick throws Julius up against the wall and says all he had to do was wait a day and his father would have died with dignity. Instead, he killed him. Julius says he’s the boss now and the sidekick works for him. Sidekick says Julius’s father wanted the will read immediately after his death and he’ll see him at the lawyer’s office.

Lushion goes to Kelly’s office. She apologizes for letting Natalie put his name on the loan papers, but he says it’s cool. She asks if he’s there on business or social and he says both. He can tell something is wrong and Kelly tells him about seeing a girl at Ramses’s house. Lushion asks if she asked who the girl was, and Kelly says no, she just left. Lushion says she shouldn’t play games and just ask if she has a question. Lushion asks how long before he and Natalie can move in and Kelly tells him 30-45 days. He says he’s anxious to move Natalie and their kids into the new place and Kelly is impressed with him calling the kids theirs when only one is really his. He asks if Ramses would rent to them until the sale. Kelly is annoyed that she has to go back and talk to Ramses so soon, but Lushion begs a little and she relents. He asks her not to tell Natalie.

Marcie comes home to Brad staring out the window. She says she told him to go home. Brad tells Marcie that Alex was there with Randal who was visiting his son. Brad says he’d never hurt the baby, but every day it would be a reminder. Marcie says the baby is innocent, but Brad says the baby would just trigger bad memories and on top of it, they’d have to share custody. Marcie tells him that he can do it if he tries. He says if moving in together was a mistake, just tell him and he’ll go. She says it’s a mistake and she wants him to leave. She says ever since they made love she’s regretted it because she craves him now, and she doesn’t want to be involved with him because it would mean Randal and Alex pushed them together. She doesn’t want them to have that power. Interesting.

Lushion gazes lovingly at Natalie while she’s working. She tells him she’s sorry about the disk and asks if he found it. He says no, but that’s not why he’s there. He says a friend at the hospital gave him some perspective. He tells her she’s beautiful and she asks if he wants lunch. He says no, he just came there to stare at her. He says he’s going to wear the kids out at the park so they can have an uninterrupted evening. They talk about the house and he says he never liked the idea of shacking up and asks her to marry him.

Lushion asks for everyone’s attention. He tells the entire room that he loves Natalie and wants to marry her. Then he asks her again and shows her a ring, while everyone stares at them. After he asks like seven times, she says yes. Everyone applauds.

It’s time for the reading of the will. Both Tilda and Julius’s mother are there and start to argue when Julius comes in. He asks why Tilda is there and the lawyer says his father wanted her there. He starts to read the will. It begins by him saying if anyone objects or contests to anything, they’ll be cut out. He puts on the video.

Julius Sr. says he’s of sound mind and all that. He leaves Tilda, the love of his life, the house and $25 million; his daughter with her gets the rest of his fortune. He says Julius tried to put a pillow over his face and killed him (oooh, he’s like Helena), and says his wife is no better and always coddled Julius. He says she’s the most selfish, vindictive bitch he’s ever met and Julius needs to go his own way. Julius smashes the TV screen. Dammit! I wanted to hear more. He gets in the lawyer’s face and the lawyer says he’s sorry. Julius is like, fine, and leaves with mommy. The lawyer tells Tilda, congratulations. She says thank you, but she’s crying.

Esperanza gets a call about Claudia at the station. She says she’s confused because when she called, she was told Claudia never worked there. Esperanza asks if Lushion checked on Claudia. He says she did and she’s clean. Esperanza says a supervisor from a previous job just called and says she did work there, after Esperanza was told she didn’t. Esperanza says something is wrong, and that Claudia doesn’t know anything about the system. Eddie rolls up and Esperanza explains the Claudia situation. Eddie says he’ll run her too.

Lushion makes a phone call so quiet, I have no idea what he said.

Marcie goes to a house where they’re doing some construction work. She asks the crew to make themselves scarce because she has a client coming. Randal walks in and she tells him to leave. Randal says he wants to talk to her and she screams for help. She says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Nice of those guys not to come back when she yelled. They couldn’t have possibly gotten that far. Randal says he’s going to make her life a living hell and she says he already has. He says she slept with that bastard and she says just like he did. Randal asks if it made her feel better and she says yes. He says she’s living with Brad now, and Marcie lies, saying they’re doing it every night. He suggests visiting and bringing Alex. He is so sickening. He goes on to say that he tried having a baby with Marcie and nothing happened, but it did with Alex. Marcie says she has a client coming and, no surprise, Randal says he’s the one who set up the appointment. He says he hasn’t begun to fight and she tells him to watch out because she has a serious mean streak. She smacks his face with the back of her hand and walks out. He says he can’t wait.

Travis is on Kelly’s porch, like I haven’t had enough of sickening men tonight. He says she lured him into her house and had sex with him, she didn’t return his calls, and now he caught her with someone else. She says he can’t “catch” her because there’s nothing between them. She tells him to go home. She says he’s the one who left her to get engaged to someone else, and sometimes the one who gets hurt deserves it. She tells him to get lost and he grabs her. She says he’s hurting her and he gets all nasty and way too close and weird. Where is Ramses when she needs him? Finally, he lets her go and leaves. I thought he was just odd before, now I think he’s seriously disturbed.

Steve asks Eddie what he’s doing and says he’ll be in trouble if the captain catches him in the files. Eddie says his name is Edward, “which stands for I don’t give a damn.” Okay… Steve tells him Julius Sr. died.

Lushion motions to Claudia to meet him in the locker room. He tells her Eddie is running her file and he talked to Larry. She thanks him and gives him a hug. In the timing only a soap opera can have, Esperanza walks in. Claudia jets and Esperanza insists they were kissing. Lushion says they were talking, and he was giving Claudia some advice. (Like they always say, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.) She asks if Eddie is rubbing off on him and says to stay away from Claudia or she’ll talk to Natalie. Lushion says he’s not Eddie, and he doesn’t lie and cheat. She says he sneaks around and she’s watching him.

Julius is back at the lawyer’s office. The lawyer says he’s sorry again, but there’s nothing he can do. Julius says he wants to know who his sister is and where she is. Julius, who is another creep, says what happens if she dies. The lawyer says everything goes to him, although I would think it’s Tilda. The lawyer says if there’s anything suspicious about the sister’s death, he doesn’t get anything. The only way he gets anything is if she dies from natural causes.

Julius stabs the lawyer through both hands, pinning his hands to his desk. The lawyer spills and says the sister’s name is Claudia. Julius makes him talk to Tilda on the phone (obviously, Julius dials) and says Claudia needs to come in to sign something. Tilda says she doesn’t deal with her daughter, but she works at the police station. I swear. Julius and Randal must be related. They have the same crazy look. Let me revise that. Julius, Randal, Eddie and now Travis must be related.

Anyway, DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Next week, Eddie hears there’s an undercover cop at the station, Alex begs Randal to stop (good luck with that), and Lushion wants info from Oliver.

May 9, 2016 — GH, the Charm of the South & the Wives of Dallas

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason comes to and asks if anyone is hurt. He sees the police van driver is out cold, but his phone is broken. He checks for a pulse, but the driver is dead. He keeps yelling if there’s anybody there. He sees Dante unconscious and pinned under the van. All of a sudden Robin is there and says Jason has to save him. I had to think for a second, wondering if she had died, but she only moved to Berkeley (I’m sitting on myself not to make a joke here), so I guess Jason is imagining this.

Jason asks Robin what she’s doing there and she says she’s not really there. He says he must be hallucinating, but she says she’s there to tell him what he already knows.

Danny is off visiting the Quartermaine’s new puppy, Annabelle II. Sam tells Michael that Monica said they were only going to be ten minutes, but it’s been a while. She wants Danny to enjoy himself though.

Jason asks if he’s unconscious and Robin tells him don’t be stupid. Not really, but close. He says the driver is dead and the motorcycle isn’t operational. Even if it was, since he’s talking to someone who’s not there, he says it’s highly doubtful he can drive. He asks Robin what to do and she says she could never tell him what to do, but he should do what he thinks is right. So what good is she?

He’s afraid to move Dante, but if he doesn’t, the flipped van could come down on him. Robin asks what he would want were he in Dante’s position. Jason says he’d want to get out of there. He adds he has a family now and doesn’t want to risk getting hurt himself. Robin tells him that sometimes it’s okay to take a risk. He examines Dante and decides he needs to get him out.

Jason tries to wake Dante, but nothing happens. He checks out the logistics of the van. Carly pops into the picture. She says a few more inches, and he wouldn’t be able to get Dante out at all and to be grateful for what he has. He says she must be there to tell him about all the near misses he’s had.

Sam and Michael talk about Jason. Michael says he seemed the way he used to be, but they’re not connecting. Sam says she understands. She tried telling Jason stories about the past, but he doesn’t connect with them.

Carly tells Jason he has to move the van without crushing Dante. He tells Carly that his head is pounding so badly he can’t see straight. She says quitting is a bad habit you can get addicted to. He says she’s never quit anything and she says that’s because she has him. He says he must have hit his head and Carly says if he says so. She adds that’s what she says when she’s lying to herself. (Huh?)

Sam asks Michael why he was talking to Carrrlos. Michael says it doesn’t matter because Jason talked him out of it. She says she realizes the memories she had with Jason are her memories now, but not his.

Jason takes the driver out of the van. Carly wonders what happened and Jason says it looks like a prisoner transport van, but the prisoner is probably running. Jason gets in the van. Carly asks what he’s waiting for and he says he has to check the fuel line first. No good. It’s leaking.

Sam says Jason is alive and well, and she’s being ridiculous. Michael says you can be grateful for what’s happening now and still miss the past things. She says since Helena cursed Sam on her death bed, she’s felt weird. She remembers Helena cursed her parents as well and they’ve had nothing but misery lately.

Jason wonders where the jack is. Helena appears and says it would be unwise to have one in a prisoner transport van. Helena says he doesn’t remember anything and never will, and he’ll never remember what happened to Jake on Cassadine Island. She says lifting the van is outside of his skill set. She says he’s on a deserted road with nothing to improvise with. Guess again, Helena. Jason grabs a street sign and he says he can lift the van with that. Helena says or cause Dante to get crushed. She tells him he can’t succeed, but conditioning won’t allow him to give up.

Sam goes through the stuff that’s happened since Helena died — like it’s any different from any other time on GH. They talk about Julian. She says she loves her father, but knows the score, and Alexis seems to be going along with it. Michael says he thinks Alexis is about to snap.

Helena tells Jason his head hurts because he’s trying to remember. She says she oversaw his conditioning and knows him better than he knows himself. She tells him to ride away and forget Port Charles and go back to his original mission. Sam is there and says he can beat Helena; she doesn’t control him anymore.

Helena says bravo, he’s conjured up a last memory of Sam before he loses the memories forever. She says he’s telling himself it can’t get worse, but it can and it will.

Michael asks Sam if she thinks she’s going to lose Jason. She says no, and he’s not interested in working for Sonny anymore. She says the only reason Julian stood a chance is because of her, Alexis and Danny. Michael says his father will avoid collateral damage, but he can’t let this go on forever. Sam says maybe Carrrlos will flip on Julian.

Helena says that Jason will sleep and when he wakes up, his memory will be wiped clean. He promises that he’ll fight to the last second and she tells him to suit himself. He tells Sam he wants to spend the time he has left with her.

Sam believes that Julian is a better man with Alexis and Michael says Jason is a better man with Sam.

Sam tells Jason he broke Helena’s conditioning before and he can do it again. He tells Sam he loves her, and says how strong and fearless she is. He says he’s glad their son has her for a mother. He says he can’t believe he’s going to lose his memories of her.

Michael says even when Jason was with Elizabeth, it was like he was fighting himself because he didn’t belong there. Sam wonders if it’s that simple, that two people just belong together. Michael says not so simple, some people never find that person, but she and Jason did.

Jason goes back to Dante. The bleeding is getting worse and Sam tells him to move the van. He uses the street sign as a lever and passes out. Now the fuel line is leaking like crazy. What the blip happened to Nathan? If the driver is dead and Dante is half-dead, how did Nathan and Carrrlos both get out and get away so quickly? For a moment, I actually got this show mixed up with Once Upon A Time, since I watch way too much TV.

Sonny appears, telling Jason to help his son. Jason goes to the bike. He says he’s leaving and Sonny asks if it’s because Helena told him to. Jason says Helena doesn’t control him, he makes his own choices. Sonny says Jason is there because he’s fighting Helena and he’s there to help Jason take his life back. Jason says his life was never his own, it was Helena’s, Elizabeth’s, Sam’s, and mostly Sonny’s. Sonny asks if he’s just a puppet. Jason says they were friends.

Danny comes back. He says don’t tell Aunt Tracy that Annabelle II peed in her closet. Michael suggests they do their exploring outside until the puppy is housebroken. Michael leaves to run puppy interference. Sam asks where his daddy is.

Jason remembers how he and Sonny met. He says Sonny never talked down to him, always treated him with respect, and never pressured him. He says Sonny taught him that everything has consequences and you’re responsible for your own life. If you don’t own it, you become a victim of your own life. He talks about how Sonny was never a victim even in his darkest time. Jason makes another try at moving the van.

Danny asks why daddy doesn’t live with them. Sam says they’re not there yet, but they’re getting there. She says just be grateful daddy is with them and nothing will take him away again.

Jason finally gets the van to move a little, but sparks start happening from undeneath. I can’t even figure out how Dante ended up there. Was the driver the only one wearing a seat belt? And how come he died? This isn’t a very good promotion for wearing them.

Sam tucks Danny in. He asks her to sing for him and she says he’s the only person in the world who likes hearing her sing. Okay, let’s have it. Sam sings a lullaby and it’s not that bad.

As she sings, Jason pulls Dante away from the van and it explodes.

This was a really good episode. It took place in only two settings and was very nicely edited. It was great to see Helena and Robin again too. I’m telling you, Helena will never die.

Tomorrow, Nathan calls for help, Carrrlos is on the run, and Anna asks Griff if he was shot.

Southern Charm

Ew! Landon! I spent all week forgetting about her.

Craig and Naomie are snug in their new home. Craig says he doesn’t want the one thing he messes up to be Naomie. He’s gotten her a ring, so she can have a piece of jewelry that “connects” them. He pretends he wants her to help him pick out a watch and brings out a watch jewelry box with the ring in the middle. Cute. He’s expecting to be made head of the bourbon division by JD. He thinks if you work hard, everything else will fall into place. Well, sometimes.

Cameran is picking Shep up for their first listing appointment. He’s just making breakfast at one o’clock and even though his birthday party the night before was a dry night, she’s worried he went out drinking afterward. Please tell me why she picked the day after his birthday to make this appointment?

Shep asks Cameran if Kathryn called her and he practically has to drag the information out of her. He says it’s easy to take the high road, but Cameran says her life is busy enough without adding Kathryn to it.

Kathryn feels discouraged because everyone is rebuffing her, and she thinks she should reconsider who she’s reaching out to. She calls Elizabeth who I’m not sure is the next best choice. She says they were close at one time and when she broke up with Thomas (bleh), she distanced herself because Elizabeth’s husband, JD, is Thomas’s best friend. She tells Elizabeth that she misses talking to her and wants to get together.

Cameran isn’t sure that Shep understands that being her “apprentice” is actual work. They look at the house, a “quintessential historical Southern mansion.” It’s absolutely beautiful. Shep thinks real estate isn’t brain surgery and is more personality driven, which he has down. I think he’s right. They discuss the house while sitting on the elliptical porch. Cameran gets annoyed because Shep is getting too involved. If it wasn’t for the heat, I’d probably love Charleston. At least the architecture.

Landon’s dad calls her. She says that she’s taking his advice and concentrating on one idea. We’ll see if this lasts more than five minutes. She has a friend in New York who’s an Internet entrepreneur and he’s agreed to meet with her.

JD asks Craig for a hotel update. He says the demolition work is completed. In his interview, Craig says work on the hotel isn’t exactly stimulating. JD says he wants to do a bourbon tasting and needs Craig to come up with a list of invitees and send out emails. He says he’s also bringing Dani in, since she has 15 years experience in the liquor business. Craig says he wants their bourbon to be something that non-bourbon drinkers will drink but bourbon drinkers will respect. JD says he doesn’t need him to invent the wheel (isn’t that reinvent?), just put air in the tires.

Kathryn visits Elizabeth. Elizabeth tells the kids that Kathryn is pregnant and one them asks Kathryn how she got a baby in there. Elizabeth says they’ll talk about that later. Ha-ha! Elizabeth asks Kathryn if something is going on she’s not aware of, since Kathryn hasn’t answered any of her calls or texts for months. She also brings up the polo match debacle. Kathryn says she was going through a phase where she cut everyone out, but she didn’t know who she could be safe around. Elizabeth says as Kensie’s godmother, she would never turn her back on Kathryn, and that’s a promise. Touching moment. Kathryn apologizes and starts to cry. Elizabeth says she wants their kids to grow up together.

Commercial break with important information, Odd Mom Out starts Monday, June 20 @ 10 pm. Since I don’t have kids (not two-legged ones anyway), I didn’t think I’d relate to this show, but it’s hysterically funny and very New York-ish. I was pleasantly surprised.

Thomas (bleh) shows Shep around his new house. Shep says Thomas is interesting because you never know what you’re going to get, but when he’s in a good mood, he’s a barrel of laughs. I have yet to see this. Shep asks what’s been up since the Flamingo Party.

Thomas tells him about talking to Kathryn and getting a barrage of anger about Shep’s birthday party. Shep says Landon claims she invited Kathryn, but he doesn’t really know. Thomas wants Kathryn to be calm for the baby’s sake, but Shep thinks he’s being melodramatic.

Landon goes to the meeting with Lockhart in the city. She says he’s head of a media conglomerate and they cover a lot of things except for travel. It’s too bad she doesn’t focus on that when she pitches her idea. He wants the idea in a couple of sentences, however, she can’t even give him two complete sentences. He says it sounds like stuff that’s already out there. He asks what kind of a voice she wants it to have and tells her to create a prototype that he could give her feedback about. In her interview she says that she’s always seen herself as very successful, and thinks her enthusiasm alone will propel her ahead, but she doesn’t even know what a prototype is. Did this girl graduate high school?

Cameran, Whitney and Shep meet for drinks. Shep just got a text from Craig, who’s concerned that they won’t show for the bourbon tasting. Shep invites them on an Appalachian Mountain excursion. His parents have a house there. Cameran asks what they would do, but she and Whitney reject anything outdoorsy. Shep wants to invite Kathryn, but Cameran thinks it’s asking for trouble. She says if Landon is going to be there, there’s going to be tension. Whitney says he wishes Kathryn the best, but doesn’t want to be around her. Whitney mentions that Shep said he wants to be nice to Kathryn because he doesn’t want any grief and Shep adds that he also slept with her. So did Whitney, although he just laughs.

JD and Craig check out the bourbon place. JD says Gentry bourbon is in his family’s blood. They’re shown mock-ups of bottles and the barrels. Craig is excited about being on the ground floor of what he thinks is going to be a successful company. He’s impressed with the bourbon warehouse or whatever you call it. Distillery? JD is kind of annoyed at all the questions Craig is asksing.

Everyone shows up for bourbon tasting. Craig goes on about running a bourbon company and Shep thinks he’s getting ahead of himself and that the “new” Craig is alarmingly strange. JD tells Elizabeth that Craig already wants to run everything which is typical.

The tasting commences. They have four different sample batches and are looking for input. The woman telling them about the bourbon tells them not to swill it down, but sip at it and actually taste it. JD puts Dani in charge, which is kind of mean to Craig. Dani instructs them to smell it first. Whitney says the first one has the bouquet of napalm.

Craig asks Dani what the difference between bourbons is and Whitney thinks that’s probably one of the basics he should know. Dani acts like a snotrag, and like she can’t be bothered to teach him anything. Craig steps away and Shep says he’s proud of him. Craig says he thought he was more a part of it than he is and feels slighted. Shep tells him to find a way he can contribute and go with it.

JD asks Dani to be his VP, and she says she just got out of the business. For a reason, whatever that means. JD says someone is going to do it and it’s not going to be Craig. In his interview, JD says that if Craig thinks he’s going to be running the bourbon division, they have an issue.

Craig talks to Dani who makes stupid faces at him. JD tells her to let him speak to Craig alone. JD tells Craig he’s just getting into the business himself and it’s his family’s name on the bottle. He doesn’t feel Craig has enough knowledge to lead a bourbon division and asks if he led anyone to believe that.

Pictures are taken, everyone departs and everything is packed up. JD tells Craig not to let things get to him. Craig tells Naomie that JD told him he’s not ready yet to be a part of the bourbon division. She says she’s about to cry and feels confused. Geez, just a bit of an overreaction. He says they’ll talk later.

This season, more polo, a disco night, a bromance, a baby, Craig finds out more about Kathryn and Whitney, another dinner party from hell, and Landon and Kathryn have it out.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

BTW, when Leeanne was on Watch What Happens LiveAndy Cohen did ask her about all that blush she has going on, and she had no answer, but had obviously toned it down since filming.

We go back to Leeanne throwing her drink and calling Brandi trash. She stomps off and Stephanie says she’s crazy.

Tiffany follows her, as well as the camera crew. Tiffany calls her to come back and Leeanne gives her the finger. She tells Tiffany she’s done and Tiffany tells her not to talk to her like that. Leeanne insists Tiffany coordinated the brawl that she had all on her own. Tiffany shoves her and says she has her back and she always takes up for her. She says she’s constantly telling people they just don’t know Leeanne and that she has a big heart.

Meanwhile, inside Stephanie is crying and worried about her charities and that Leeanne will trash her husband’s business. I honestly think that Stephanie believes Leeanne has more power than she does. Brandi tells her Leeanne is just pissed that someone called her out. Cary gives an analogy of Stephanie being a wounded baby gazelle that Leeanne pounced on.

Leeanne goes apesh*t on the camera and nearly gets run over by a trolly car that she smacks. Then she takes her shoes off and walks into traffic. Tiffany says she’s known Leeanne for 25 years and Leeanne was the reason she came back to Dallas, but she can’t continue to live her life like this.

She goes back in and tells Marie about what happened outside. Cary says the best thing to do is take the high road and that was the low road. She compares Leeanne to her two-year-old and says maybe she needs a time out. Tiffany gives a blanket apology to everyone for starting the mess.

It’s Stephanie’s anniversary and her husband, Travis, is taking her out for a surprise. She talks about how she cried all night and tells him about how she never felt attacked like that. If I had been her, I would have smacked Leeanne in the face. She feels like she’s let her family down, but Travis just laughs and says not to let Leeanne get to her.

Leeanne is loving on her dogs, but even Hitler did that. Mark asks how she’s doing and if she called Tiffany. Leeanne says neither one of them are ready to talk yet. He says that when they fight, Leeanne avoids things, but Leeanne says they both have to process what happened.

Tiffany says she’s carrying around her phone and doesn’t know whether to call or not. Aaron tells her to give it a few days and let the dust settle, but Tiffany says they have a clothing drive coming up.

Leeanne says Tiffany should have intervened between her and Brandi. She says she has huge insecurities from her childhood. Please. Like we all don’t.

Brandi’s grandfather is coming for a visit. She says she couldn’t care less about Leeanne. She’s never met him because her mother had to choose sides in her parents’ divorce. Her mother is pretty excited as well.

Leeanne goes to the clothing drive, although she’d rather be home in bed nursing her wounds. She knows if Tiffany shows up, they’ll be respectful because it’s a Southern thing. (Landon didn’t get the memo.) Leeanne acts overly attentive to the other people. Tiffany arrives and is surprised that Leeanne is doesn’t talk to her at all. Cary arrives next with some clothing. She wants to just drop and go. Leeanne says she was hurt and she doesn’t do hurt because of being abandoned in her childhood. How old is this chick? There comes a time when you have to stop using your childhood as an excuse to be an a-hole. Get some therapy, kay?

Travis and Stephanie go out in the gold Rolls Royce that they rode in at their wedding. When it came up for sale, Travis bought it. I’m liking Travis more each time I see him.

Tiffany says when she moved to LA, she and Leeanne didn’t speak for two years because Leeanne felt abandoned. Holy. That is too ridiculous for words. Tiffany calls her and leaves a message. If I was in her position, I’d join the ranks of those who abandoned Leeanne. Seriously, she is way too old for this kind of behavior.

Travis drives to an upscale jewelry store and tells her to pick something out. She tries on a diamond bracelet. Stephanie says Travis spoils her and will buy her anything to make her happy. Go, Travis! She picks a diamond cuff out and Stephanie says she’s forgotten all about Leeanne. Travis swears she had the instinct to pick out the most expensive one. The bracelet is $55K, and they save the $2.5 million ring she tries on for another time. I wonder if they go out to dinner afterward or just go home and get busy.

Cary tells Mark about how Leeanne and Tiffany didn’t talk to one another at the clothing drive. Mark can’t wait to get away for vacation. Tiffany says they want to eventually get a house in Switzerland that they can spend summers at.

Brandi’s grandfather, John, arrives with his wife, Carol. Brandi introduces the kids and one tries to escape. They sit down for lunch and Brandi says the blessing. She gets all emotional.

To make up for the champagne Cary got on her dress when Leeanne threw the glass, Mark gets her a fabulous Roberto Cavalli dress. She says she’ll stand by Leeanne at all the parties now.

Brandi and John sit on the patio. She says she had a misconception of him growing up and she’s sorry for that. He says that’s all behind them. There are bobcats milling about and we hear them.

Cary gives Mark some Botox so he doesn’t look so mad at her when he’s mad at her. Yikes! So this is what it’s like to be super rich. Summers in Switzerland and Botox in your fridge.

Brandi comes over to Stephanie’s place. Stephanie tells her about the bracelet. Brandi feels like Bryan missed out in the romantic department. Stephanie asks how the visit with her grandfather is going. Brandi says Bryan is flying in between whatever it is he does so they can meet. Brandi’s grandfather was a pro football player back in the day and she thinks they’d get along really well.

Tiffany is meeting with Leeanne. Aaron asks what she’s going to say, but she doesn’t have a plan other than an apology for screaming at her. Aaron wonders why everyone can’t just get along, because he’s a guy, and tells her it will be fine.

Leeanne apologizes before she even sits down. She says she shouldn’t have questioned Tiffany having her back and Tiffany apologizes for yelling. To her credit, Leeanne says she deserved it. She says she got angry like that because she was going to start crying. In her interview, Leeanne says for a long time, she and Tiffany were all they had. I still think she needs therapy.

The entire family has come to Brandi’s for a barbecue. Stephanie arrives with her kids saying Travis will be there shortly. Brandi says growing up, they didn’t have family parties. Stephanie calls Travis who is having a drink with Bryan and says they’ll be there in five minutes. Brandi is a little pissed because she thinks Travis should have made the barbecue a priority.

Bryan and Travis arrive. Brandi is annoyed because she planned the party around his business trips and he’s late and drunk. He’s also acting like he can’t be bothered. Brandi says he puts up a wall a lot of the time and it’s disappointing. He goes to push one of the kids on the swing. Stepahanie says it was abig moment in Brandi’s life and Bryan ignored it

Next time, Travis hires a decorator, Mark takes photos of Cary, Leeanne confronts Marie, and Brandi confronts Bryan (who, no surprise, acts like a d-bag)

May 8, 2016 — Fairy Tale, Reed Fails, the Shahs Talk & Jon Snow Walks

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hades is thrilled to be back in the land of the living. Zelena is worried about Regina though, as she hasn’t shown up yet. She asks Hades to take the baby to Regina’s office. He’s surprised she trusts him that much. Zelena leaves and King Arthur, who’s in handcuffs, runs up to Hades and says he’s been unjustly imprisoned and was destined to rule a kingdom. Nice to meet you too. Hades introduces himself and says he’s also destined to rule a kingdom, but he needs Arthur’s help. And then Hades kills him.

Snow tells Merida she was supposed to be guarding Arthur and now they need to get a Dwarf search party going. Merida leaves and everyone except Hook, who is still in the Underworld, shows up. David tells Snow that Hades and Zelena came back too, with Robin’s baby.

Zelena finds Regina with Robin, and tells them Hades has changed. Regina explains how Hades tried to keep them in the Underworld and says she shouldn’t trust him with the baby. Zelena insists love has changed him, but Regina says that’s what she wants to believe. Zelena says if they try to hurt him, they’ll do so at their own peril, and she disappears, poof! in a cloud of green smoke.

In the Underworld, Arthur goes to the diner where he stands out like a sore thumb in his armor. Hook approaches him and Arthur threatens Hook, but Hook says there’s not much he can do to a dead man. Hook asks who killed him and Arthur says Hades. Hook asks Arthur if he’d like to go on a quest, but Arthur says not with him. Hook tells him that when he leaves the Underworld, he can go one of two places, and since he was a terrible king, he needs all the positive points he can get.

In Storybrooke, Merida, Emma and David find Arthur dead. Emma wants to find Hades, but David tells her she needs to get a grip and look at death the way most people do.

Hades tells Zelena that if anything happened to her or the baby, he’d be crushed, so he’s going to turn himself in. She tells him she doesn’t want to risk losing him again. She says she’ll put a protection spell on the building, so no one can get to him. He unwraps a broken crystal, saying he got it from his brother, Zeus, and he’s been waiting a long time to use it.

Regina sees there’s a protection spell on the town hall. She says they’ll have to talk some sense into Zelena and can get into the building through a tunnel. Emma says she wants to come, but Regina says she’s too emotional right now. Regina and Robin enter the tunnel and Regina apologizes for trusting Zelena.

Gold visits Belle’s father and tells him about the sleeping curse. He says she needs her father to wake her, but dad doesn’t want to help him. He says until Gold is gone for good, Belle will stay asleep. Gold says he thought that’s the reaction he was going to get and brandishes a cane, threatening to beat him with it again. I guess they’ve met before. Emma comes in and tells Gold to knock it off. She says Hades is in Storybrooke and she wants to know how to kill him. Gold doesn’t want to get involved.

Arthur and Hook go to Hades’s throne room. Hook says they have to find the pages of a storybook. They start going through Hades stuff. Arthur says it’s not there, but he looked for it the same way my husband looks for things, which is basically a cursory glance. Hook begs Arthur to help. He asks where Arthur would hide his treasure. They look in the throne and sure enough, there are the pages. Hook says he has to get the pages to Emma. They contain information on how to destroy a god.

Hook and Arthur go back to the diner where Cruella is sipping a martini. Hook asks where the phone booth is and she says she destroyed it. If she’s stuck there, so is everyone else. Hook asks about the book and she says it’s in the River of Lost Souls.

Snow is pouring over some ledgers. Emma says she doesn’t have time to help. She’s bent out of shape about Hook, and Snow tells her she can help him by helping them figure out how to defeat Hades.

Hades is putting the crystal back together. He says once he does, he and Zelena can prove everyone wrong and live however they want, they can even rule Storybrooke. She says she just wants a white picket fence life. The phone rings. It’s Gold welcoming Hades to Storybrooke. Gold asks if Hades wants to make a deal. He says he’ll protect Hades for a share in the Olympian crystal.

Robin and Regina get to the town hall. Regina apologizes again, but Robin says they did owe Zelena another chance. He tells Regina she’s his future. She asks what the plan is. He says his one rule is always have a way out, but he broke his rule. Regina says she doesn’t care and he says let’s get on with finding the baby.

Hook and Arthur search for the book. Hook tells Arthur to be careful and not touch the water or he could become a lost soul too. Arthur guards the boat while Hook starts to go up the stairs. One of the souls tries to pull Arthur into the water and Hook blasts it with a tiki torch. Another soul tries to take the book and Arthur pokes it with a torch. Hook grabs the book just before it falls into the water.

Arthur wonders how one kills the Lord of Death. Hook says it calls for an Olympian crystal.

In Storybrooke, Emma looks at the storybook. She sees a picture of her and Hook (omg — I can’t stop this from rhyming) and gets nostalgic. The book’s pages flip on their own and she sees the part about the crystal.

Hades gets the crystal put back together with Underworld Crazy Glue. Zelena suggests they leave. Hades says the only way to be safe is to be strong.

Robin tells Regina they need a distraction so he can gets his daughter. Regina feels someone entering the building. It’s Zelena and Hades. They leave and Robin says who needs a plan when they have blind luck on their side.

Zelena sees Emma. Emma says she doesn’t want to hurt her. Zelena says hurting Hades is the same thing. She gets the pages from Emma and says that’s proof they’re trying to kill the man…er, god she loves.

Robin picks the baby up and says everything is going to be okay. Hades pops out and begs to differ. He says the crystal will end Regina with no afterlife. He zaps her with the crystal but Robin steps in front of her. His soul disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. Regina weeps a little over his body and Hades says not to worry, they won’t be apart long.

Zelena comes in. Regina tells her what Hades has done. Hades says they need to use the crystal so they can have a kingdom. He says there’s no better revenge than having it all. Regina tries to get the crystal, but Zelena gets it instead. Regina tells her that she wanted her to find love, but love is sacrifice and means giving things up for the person you love. Hades tells Zelena if she kills Regina she’ll have everything she wants. Zelena says all she ever wanted was love and she thought that was enough for him. Now she realizes it never will be. She destroys Hades with the crystal. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke, not even leaving a body behind, just a pile of gravel.

Hook thanks Arthur for his help. Arthur is glad to have been on a righteous quest. Hook says he knows he was able to give Emma what she needed. A while light happens and Hook tells Arthur to come with him. Arthur says he was prophesied to fix a broken kingdom. He thought it was Camelot, but believes it’s the Underworld. Hook goes into the light.

Hook enters Olympus. Zeus meets him and congratulates and thanks him. He says he’s there to escort Hook home. He asks if Hook is ready and says it’s time to take him where he belongs.

Emma leaves a flask on Hook’s grave because she thought he’d like it better than flowers. She cries, saying there’s nothing left and she misses him. The others are laying Robin to rest, putting arrows adorned with roses on his casket. No offense to Robin, but his death didn’t exactly rock my world like they claimed it was going to in the preview last week.

Zelena names the baby Robin. Awww!

Snow tells Emma it’s not her fault. Emma wants to say good-by to Robin alone. She feels something and turns around to see Hook. They kiss and he’d better watch it with that hook. He almost got her in the back with it during the embrace. He says that as a reward for getting rid of Hades, Zeus sent him home.

Gold approaches the pile of gravel that was Hades and says he should have taken the deal. He finds the crystal and says it’s his kingdom now.

Next week, the 2-hour season finale which starts at 7 pm, Regina gets some hate going on, and Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Fear the Walking Dead

Someone is making pesto while listening to Patsy Cline. Alicia is watching a TV and Connor comes out and serves her an Omaha steak. He says he makes sure everyone gets a hot meal every night. She asks where Jack is and Connor says he wanted to meet her alone. She asks about Travis and Connor tells her to eat. She wonders where her family is and Connor says that they have to be selective about who they let in. He leaves to deal with the generator. Alicia is stuck with Pregnant Girl who steals her food. Huh?

Left alone, Alicia tries to find a way out. Everything is locked. She goes upstairs. It’s the deck of a large ship that’s docked in a shipyard.

Jack catches her and brings her back. He tells her it’s a good thing Connor didn’t catch her. He apologizes for leaving her alone but says Connor prefers getting to know new people by himself. Alicia asks about Travis and Jack says she can’t see him right now. She asks about her family and he asks if she trusts him. She says yes, and he says give him some time and he’ll find out.

Reed apparently isn’t dead. Daniel is tending to his wound. Chris is there and Reed harasses him. He’s pretty perky for a guy who’s impaled on a giant stick. He tells Daniel that when Connor finds out, there’ going to be hell to pay. He threatens Daniel’s daughter. Daniel says men who inspire fear don’t need to say how frightening they are. I think he stole that thought from The Fonz.

Daniel and Chris leave the room. Chris is annoyed, but Daniel says Reed is just scared. He tells Chris to guard the door, but don’t engage. Ofelia tells Daniel he should be resting and Daniel spaces out for a second, saying his mind is going to places it shouldn’t.

Daniel goes to the wheelhouse and tells Madison that Reed is Connor’s brother, so that should be leverage. He looks for a cluster of five boats on the monitor. Luis wants to know why they changed course. He’s concerned they’ll miss the window of opportunity to get to Mexico. She says her family comes first.

Luis bugs Victor about it, but he says everything is negotiable. Madison tells Luis he can stay on the boat. Daniel thinks they’ll need everyone to attack, but she says no. She thanks Victor, but he says she just bought herself half a day.

Jack gives Alicia the log book to keep track of boats that are seen on the monitor, saying everyone has to pull their weight, and she’ll make contact with the boats that Connor approves. They talk about how they thought the world was a safe place before, but maybe it wasn’t.

Down below, Travis is locked in some kind of cell. He finds a book and tears a piece off of a page. He uses it to fiddle with the lock, but someone comes down. It’s Alex, the woman from the raft. She had to kill her companion. He says when Connor found him, he asked what she had to offer. She gave him Abigail (Victor’s boat) and said she wanted Travis.

Madison tells Victor not to send Nick on anymore errands. He says Nick offered to go get Luis and without Luis, they can’t get into Mexico. She tells him not to come between her and her son again.

Jack teaches Alicia about the scanner. He sees something and starts looking through the log. Alicia realizes that one of the boats is the Abigail. She asks what happens to the people on the boats that Connor approves. Jack says he doesn’t know and Alicia says she has to find her family. Jack says they’ll go together.

Madison tells Nick not to pull anything like that again. He’s loading a gun and she tells him not to get too comfortable with it.

Alicia wonders if the boat had mechanical problems. Jack asks if she’s sure that she wants to do this. He calls Connor.

Alex tells Travis that he’s the one who put them in the raft. He says they couldn’t risk her companion turning. She says she saw his face and he knew what was going to happen and the right thing to do, but chose the other.

Victor and Daniel see the shipyard and Victor says it’s time to knock on the front door.

Travis tells Alex that he has a son who watches him and he tries not to be a part of the violence. He says he can’t tell her what she wants to hear and he’s no better than the man who cut the rope. He says he had to do the same thing to his son’s mother that she did to the guy in the raft. He asks if they can be more than what they’ve become and she says she doesn’t know. He asks what’s gong to happen to her. She says Connor said he could use her, but people don’t use her.

Reed talks to Chris through the door and stupid Chris engages. Reed says Connor has plans for his sister and Chris asks if he needs to gag Reed. Reed says Chris doesn’t look like either of his parents and they have being outsiders in common. He tells Chris to be prepared, because when the time comes, the people he calls his family will put him down like a stray.

Nick comes along and asks Chris what’s wrong. Chris says if he had pulled the trigger none of this would have happened and they’d be in Mexico. Nick tells him it’s not his fault.

Alicia goes downstairs and sees Travis. She tells him that the Abigail is nearby and it’s too soon for them to have gone to Mexico and back. She says Jack wants out too and is going to help. Travis tells her not to do anything stupid. Jack comes down and says they have to leave.

On the Abigail, Connor radios Reed and tells him to dock. Madison says he can have his brother when she gets her family back. He asks what they did with Reed and she says nothing — yet. She says he’s alive, but if Connor wants him, he has to trade her family for Reed. Connor says okay. Nick says he’ll go, but Madison tells Connor she’ll see him in an hour.

Oops! Too late. Chris shot Reed. He tells Ofelia that Reed was going to turn, but that’s highly debatable. Luis says they’re going south, but Daniel says no. Chris tells Madison that Reed was going to turn. She says he doesn’t know that, but he insists he did. He tells her the gun is Reed’s and she takes it from him. He says he hopes he didn’t screw anything up and she says they’ll figure it out.

Connor tells Jack to get the girl and that the plans have changed. Travis wants to see his family and Connor tells him soon.

Ofelia tells Nick that Chris said Reed was going to turn. Well, either he lied or didn’t do a good enough job, because Reed just turned. Nick is about to put him down, but Daniel says not yet and pushes Reed back so that he’s stuck to the wall by the pole that’s through his middle. I was just thinking that my plan would be to let him turn and then give him back to his brother.

Daniel puts a sack over Reed’s head. Ofelia comes in and says it’s time.

Jack can’t find Alicia who’s hiding in a cupboard.

Nick tells Madison he’s better with the boat and the rest of them need her. She says no and he asks why. She says because he wants to. Daniel loads Reed into the boat and Madison takes off. Nick and Victor are looking at the shore through binoculars and Nick says he only sees Travis.

Pregnant Girl confronts Alicia and says she can stay in the cage. Alicia knocks her down and locks her in. Nice work. On the dock, Madison asks where her daughter is. Connor says she’ll get her when he sees his brother is okay. Alicia shoves Reed at him and he gets bitten. The guy with him starts to come after Madison, but Travis head butts him which is pretty impressive since his hands are bound

Jack asks Alicia what’s going on and she says her family came for her. Jack asks if that’s who she really wants to be with. He says they’re going to abandon her. She says sorry, and jumps off the boat into the water. Travis hauls her into the lifeboat. They leave as Alicia gazes at Jack who I guess turned out to be an okay guy

Next week, Daniel gets violent, the group heads for Mexico, Madison says they have to hide.

Shahs of Sunset

Camping — night one. MJ is looking for a corkscrew. Reza is doing some grilling and it looks mighty tasty. GG asks how everyone is doing and Shervin says how much he loves the place and thanks her for bringing them. GG tells Mike her anger isn’t about a particular thing. She says they go way back and he’s always talked down to her. He says it’s something he has to work on and realizes that he needs to fix that. He says ill feelings are toxic to him and he wants to let it go.

Reza says the talk is giving him hope. GG and Mike hug. In his interview, Reza says he hopes we enjoyed that heartfelt moment, because now we’re going to be led down another road.

Reza plants a false-positive pregnancy test and a map to a Mexican clinic, along with a few pesos, in MJ’s purse. Shervin tells MJ they just found all this in her purse. Although he doesn’t explain what they were doing with her purse in the first place. MJ says there weren’t even enough pesos to get a morning after pill, never mind a clinic.

Mike is on the phone with Jessica and the others keep trying to get him to hang up and join them. He tells MJ that Jessica comes first and asks her to have his back. They rejoin the group and MJ suggests a family meeting. Reza brings up how MJ discouraged his wedding idea. He says he loves her, but wishes she knew that no matter how the pie was sliced, the pieces were equal. I have no idea what he means by that. GG is drunk and making no sense. She says she’s done with people and doesn’t want to talk. She asks Shervin to make her a beer with hot sauce and lime, and tells Asa to go away. The girls go to bed. Reza says he realizes that the Mike and GG moment is all he’s getting tonight. The guys start goofing around and Reza chases Mike and Shervin around with the liquid poopy.

Reza makes breakfast. Asa says instead of an intervention, they had pranks. Asa has some things planned for them. She’s signed them up for some kind of obstacle rope course to challenge GG. They take the RV to wherever the course is. Mike tells the friends about trouble in paradise at home.

GG says the obstacle course looks challenging, although I would use the word impossible. She’s still recovering from her hand surgery, but she’s going to do it anyway. Everyone is encouraging. Reza says the course is representative of their lives and GG needs someone to help her. She makes it through the first course. She has to stop, but says she did a lot more than she thought she could. Asa is proud. The others do the second course and I’m exhausted just watching. The instructor has told them that only 10% finish the third one. Mike encourages Reza. This one looks scary. They’re doing a hand over hand thing going across at it’s very high up.

Afterwards for some relaxation, they do ziplining. Reza says it seems like old times.

Reza asks if they can keep an eye on GG’s drinking, since she was incoherent the night before. GG is puzzled that he should bring this up now, since they just spent an amazing time together. MJ says that the course brought up a lot of emotion and she realizes her mother has always played it safe in life. She says that when her mother is being impossible, it’s just that she doesn’t know how to do it any other way. She says Vida once got her heart broken and now she takes no risks. She says her life choices are different from those of her parents.

They stop at a restaurant, but GG isn’t hungry. Reza proposes that GG make a toast. He asks why she’s so quiet and she says she’s choosing to be. She says if anybody has a feeling of any sort to tell her, not discuss it among themselves. Reza says she gets angry when she doesn’t like something and she says it’s better than talking behind someone’s back. MJ says the talk she and GG had was disappointing and right now she doesn’t want GG to be at her funeral because her soul will affect the dirt. That’s a new one to me. In his interview, Mike says GG is a little girl trapped in a woman’s body.

The Shahs build a fire and Mike shoos a coyote away. Reza says ghosts and coyotes don’t mess with Persians. Mike tells Reza that he was a little aggressive with GG. He tells GG that being vulnerable isn’t bad and sometimes your friends can point out things you don’t see. She says her future has changed because of her arthritis. She doesn’t even know if she should have children for fear of passing it along. Mike says she has to fight. GG says she’s had it for five years and did everything right, but she’s giving up now. She says she can’t sit with her own thoughts any more and doesn’t know how to reach out.

Shervin says they want the GG back that they used to know. He tells her that some people who couldn’t be there wrote letters. One of the letters is from her dad, but she says she’s not ready for that. She tells him that she’s not strong enough. Shervin says if the letter makes her upset, she can punch him, and she agrees if she can punch him in the nuts. For Shervin’s sake, that had better be a happy letter.

Shervin reads the letter and it’s very sweet. GG says it’s a rush of emotions that she can’t hide. Asa says everyone believes in her and GG says in a weird way, she’s happy. She says it was time to listen to what her friends had to say. Mike says she’s now opened her mind to the universe and allowed knowledge to come in and guide her. Hugs all around.

GG says she thinks the trip was good for everyone and at the end of the day they’re a loving, dysfunctional family.

Next week, Shervin goes on a date, MJ tells her mother that she wants a baby, and Mike screws up with Jessica, which probably isn’t hard to do.

Game of Thrones

So now that the question of Jon Snow’s death has been answered, we might as well not watch this anymore. Just kidding.

Davos sees Jon sit up. Jon checks himself out and sees all the stab wounds. He tries to get up, and wobbles, but Davos catches him. Davos asks what he remembers and he says they all stabbed him and he shouldn’t be there. The Red Woman asks what he saw after he died and he says nothing. She says the Lord let him come back for a reason and that Stannis wasn’t the promised king, but someone has to be.

Davos says it seems crazy to him, so he can imagine how it must seem to Jon. Jon wonders why he came back, but Davos says it doesn’t matter. Jon says he thought he’d done the right thing, but he failed.

Edd and the Castle Black gang are milling around outside. Jon and Davos come out. Tormund tells Jon they think he’s some kind of god and Jon says he isn’t. Tormund makes a joke about Jon’s weenie not being so godlike. Edd asks if it’s still him in there and Jon says he thinks so.

Gilly, Sam and the baby are at sea when a storm brews up. Sam isn’t feeling well and Gilly tries to make jokes. Sam throws up. Gilly says she can’t wait to see Oldtown. Sam says there’s no women there, so they’re going to his hometown. He says his mother will take care of her, but Gilly reminds him that he’d said they’d be together. He says he cares about Gilly and the baby and wants them to be safe. She says if he thinks that’s for the best, she trusts him. Sam gets sick again.

Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven are having a vision. Bran sees his father as a younger man. Ned asks why the Kingsguards didn’t protect their king and asks where his sister is. Ser Arthur Dayne says now it begins, but Ned says now it ends. Ned’s men dispatch the Kingsguards pretty quickly until only Ser Dayne is left. Bran said that his father told him Ser Dayne was the best swordsman ever and apparently so, since he was surrounded two seconds ago and now it’s just him and Ned. Ned loses his sword and Howland comes up from behind and stabs Ser Dayne in the back. Ned finishes him off. Bran realizes this isn’t the story Ned told about it.

Ned starts going up the steps to a tower where Lyanna is and Bran calls out to him. Ned pauses and the Raven wakes Bran. Bran says he wants to see what’s in the tower. The Raven says if he stays too long in a place, he might not return. Bran says it beats sitting in a tree with an old guy. The Raven says he won’t be there forever, but for now he must learn. Everything.

Dany travels with the Dothraki to the place where widowed Khaleesis go. A woman is tending a fire and Dany gets stripped of her clothing and jewelry. She says they’ve made a mistake. The woman says she’s young and will learn — if they decide to keep her. She says Dany went out into the world after Khal Drago died and that is forbidden.

Varys meets with a woman who helped the Sons of the Harpy with their murder spree. She says if he’s going to torture her, get on with it, but he just wants answers. He says she helped the Sons of the Harpy to murder the unsullied and the queen’s guards. She says they were interlopers who didn’t belong there. He says he looks at it differently. He tells her she conspired to kill the queen’s soldiers and how will her son get on without his mother? She says if she talks, she’ll be killed, so either way she’s dead. Varys says there’s a third option, a boat sailing at dawn. She needs to decide if she wants a new life for her and her son.

Tyrion meets with Grey Worm and Missandei. He wonders what they could talk about to pass the time. He asks what they usually talk about and Grey Worm says his patrols. Tyrion says that’s a report not a conversation. He says they should play a game and Grey Worm says games are for children. Tyrion tries to think of a game that doesn’t involve drinking.

Varys comes back and tells them that the soldiers came from other cities. Grey Worm says they’ll have to leave to fight them, but Tyrion says they need him here.

Qyburn is talking to a group of children. They are Varys’s “little birds.” He gives them sweets and says he might want to hear some chirping. Ser Gregor comes in with Jaime and Cersei. The children leave and Qyburn says they’re Cersei’s little birds now. She gives him a list of things she wants to know about.

Olenna is sitting with the small counsel who are pissed at Varys. Cersei comes in and asks why Olenna is there. She says for one thing, they have her granddaughter imprisoned. Cersei says she’s glad Olenna brought it up because she wants to whine about her own indignities that she suffered. Olenna says Margaery is the queen, not Cersei. The head guy says they can’t make her leave, but she can’t make them stay either and they all walk out.

Tommen approaches the High Sparrow about Cersei seeing her daughter’s resting place. The High Sparrow says she hasn’t completely atoned yet. Tommen says as king he orders it. The High Sparrow says Cersei is deceptive, but when she speaks about Tommen, her mother’s love shines through. He says when she made her walk of atonement, she did it to get back to Tommen. He says a true leader avails himself of the wisest council he can and no one is wiser than the gods. He says the best they can do is help each other bring out the good in themselves.

The Waif asks Arya about her family. She asks where her family is now and Arya doesn’t know. She asks about The Hound and Arya says he’s dead. She says he was on Arya’s death list, but was taken off. The Waif asks if she doesn’t want him dead anymore and Arya says she does and she doesn’t. (Is this a foreshadowing?) The Waif asks for her death list, but thinks it’s too short. Arya asks what name she’d like on it. The conversation is interspersed with Arya getting trounced by The Waif.

Jaqen comes in and The Waif leaves. He says if Arya tells him her name, she can have her eyes back. He gives her something to drink and says if she is truly no one, she has nothing to fear. She drinks it and can see again. He asks who she is and she says no one.

One of the lords comes to Winterfell to talk to Ramsay. Ramsay asks why he’s there and he says that Wildings came through the wall. Ramsay says to pledge his loyalty to House Bolton and they’ll fight together. The lord says he’s not bowing down to Ramsay, but he has a gift for him. It’s Rickon Stark along with Osha. Ramsay asks how he knows that’s him and the lord shows him the head of Rickon’s direwolf. Ramsay tells Rickon, welcome home.

Jon has the men who stabbed him hanged. He asks if they have any last words. One says he shouldn’t be alive, it’s not right, and Jon says neither was killing him. Ser Aliser says he had a choice to betray him or betray the Night’s Watch, and that Jon brought Wildings into their space. Jon ponders a little while everyone watches, and then cuts the rope and the floor drops out. Pretty fancy.

Jon gives his cloak to Edd telling him he has Castle Black now. Jon’s watch has ended. Well, technically, he died, so that is an out.

Next week, Peter wants to find Sansa, Theon goes home, and Ser Jorah finds Dany.

May 5, 2016 — Two GHs & Three Quotes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

Kristina stops by Sonny’s office with Aaron to pick up some paperwork. She leaves the room and Sonny comes in to find Aaron checking out his taxidermy.

Finn is dealing with Mr. Ellis, a patient who seems to think he’s sick when he’s not. He talks to Mr. Ellis for a while and says his test results are negative, but they’re still waiting on one. Finn sees Carly in the hall and she tells him the patient was clearly lonely and compliments him on his kindness.

One of Julian’s henchmen tells Carrrlos he has good news about the witness.

Anna tells Griff she thinks Julian ordered Hale’s murder.

Julian can’t believe Alexis is asking him if he had Hale murdered. I don’t know why, since he’s kind of known for that sort of thing.

Finn says he’s sure Carly has a good reason to be eavesdropping. She says most doctors would have just blown the patient off. Finn says if she’s suggesting he’s humble, she’s mistaken, but he can be very charming on his own.

Obrecht tells Finn he’s already abusing his privileges. She says the patient is a hypochondriac and he’s running more tests. Finn says the man lives alone and he feels it’s the right thing to do. He says it just occurred to him that he doesn’t have to listen to her anymore and doesn’t she have something better to do than harass doctors? She leaves and Carly says she wants to discuss Jocelyn with Finn.

Aaron says he never connected Kristina’s name with Corinnthos coffee and goes on about how much he loves it. Kristina comes out and explains they’re going on a date. Aaron says he’s going to culinary school and is obsessed with Sonny’s coffee. Aaron also talks about the restaurant Sonny owns. He asks how long Sonny has been in the business and Sonny says he inherited it. Aaron asks to look around the kitchen and Sonny says sure.

Sonny tells Kristina that culinary school is impressive. Kristina says she has no idea if this is going to even lead to a second date, but Sonny already has her married off. He says it’s nice she’s going out with someone her own age, alluding to her interest in her professor. He wants her to meet a nice guy who treats her right. She says about that, she has something to tell him.

Anna tells Griff about Hale turning up dead from an overdose and Alexis finding the body. He asks if she’s sure Alexis is involved. Anna says no, but since she was first on the scene, she thought she’d accuse her, hoping to get the truth from Julian. She says the whole thing is beyond coincidence. She says Julian knows that if Carrrlos is found guilty, Carrrlos will expose him. She says Alexis isn’t the first strong woman who’s compromised herself for the love of a man.

Julian says Anna refuses to accept that he was defending himself in killing Duke. He says she’d rather think Duke was perfect, even though Duke was going to have Julian killed, so it was self-defense. He says he didn’t even know the witness’s name, so how could he arrange for him to be murdered? Alexis says there are other ways to get the information. Yeah, like you leaving your pocketbook around. Alexis hears me and says everything was in her briefcase. Julian knew that and she left him alone with it. She asks if he looked at the papers.

Carly wonders if they can investigate Jocelyn’s donor at he hospital. He’s like, who’s “we,” and she says Finn and her. She says she needs a doctor to help with the technical aspect and get in places she can’t. She says she lets him keep his damn lizard at he hotel, and he corrects that to damn service lizard. She gives him a list of things she’s done for him and he says apparently she’s taking him on a guilt trip, and says he’ll help. Finn tells her they need to find the chain of care on the transplant organ.

Sonny says he may not love everything Kristina does, but he’ll always love her. He says she’s doing well at the office and she seems to be in a good place right now. He hopes he doesn’t screw things up with Aaron because he’s bound to find out who Sonny really is. Kristina says too bad for him then. Aaron comes back and is all happy about having looked at the equipment. He wants Kristina to take a look too and Sonny says he won’t be there long, so just let the guard know. They leave and Sonny gets a call from Max.

Hammer tells Carrrlos the witness met an unfortunate end. Carrrlos asks if they’re back to the original plan and Hammer says just don’t involve anyone else. Carrrlos says Alexis should be able to get the case thrown out now. Hammer tells him not to tell Alexis what he knows and let her tell him. The less she knows, the better.

Alexis says she left Julian alone with everything he needed. Julian says even if he’d had Hale killed, why would he have Alexis implicated? He says he wouldn’t have left him alive either. Alexis says she doesn’t know anything anymore. I’m not so sure how much she knew in the first place

Finn asks for the date of Jocelyn’s transplant. Carly says it’s like a science fiction movie. They go downstairs to the records department. Ha-ha! Obrecht is in charge of the department.

Anna says Carly and Sonny have a mutual acceptance, but Alexis lives in denial like Anna did. She says the difference is that Julian is scum and Duke would have never done to her what Julian is doing to Alexis. Griff asks if the case can proceed without the witness. She says they have the statement, but the case can be thrown out because there’s no way for them to cross-examine. He says he wishes she had the same passion for her own case.

Julian says either Alexis believes him or not. She says he’s lied to her before. He says he has faith in her ability to get Carrrlos off and says he thought she believed he’d changed. He gets all annoyed, but still never answers the question.

Sonny comes to Carrrlos’s cell, where Carrrlos is doing push-ups. (Side note: When I visited the One Life to Live set years ago, the guys did push-ups before scenes where they would have their shirts off so they would be “pumped.” That’s not what’s happening here. I’m just tripping down Memory Lane.) Sonny asks why Carrrlos is working out when he should be praying.

Aaron says everyone in culinary school aspires to open their own restaurant. Even though that’s not an option for him right now, he wants to try a food truck and wouldn’t mind having Corrinthos Coffee on tap. Kristina says there’s a lot he doesn’t know about her and maybe they shouldn’t even be going out.

Obrecht says she’d still be chief-of-staff if Finn hadn’t inflicted the hospital with his presence. Finn says and Tracy would be dead and they’d be facing a lawsuit. Carly explains why they’re there and she needs to know everything about the donor. Obrecht says she might not be chief-of-staff, but she’s not opening the hospital up to a lawsuit by giving out private information. Finn says Carly has the legal right to know. Obrecht suggests they go through legal channels then, and tells them to get out. I hope she ends up helping them, so she can be part of this storyline, since she’s one of the best actresses on the show and I hate seeing her underused.

Alexis says she heard everything Julian said. He says either she trusts him or doesn’t. She asks if he loves her. He says of course, and she says to tell her, and keeps asking him to repeat it. She starts crying and they hug. This is just embarrassing.

Carrrlos calls for the guard and Sonny says the guard is on break indefinitely. Sonny says he heard that the witness is dead and Carrrlos must be feeling pretty good. He says justice has to be served, and since the courts aren’t going to do it, he will. He reaches into his pocket.

Finn says a court order should only take a few months. Carly suggests talking to Monica. Finn leaves to deal with a patient. Carly sees Obrecht leaving the elevator and gets into the next one.

Aaron says he thought the point of going on a date is to get to know each other. Kristina says what if he’s disappointed. He says try him. Kristina tells him she was suspended from college. He says he looks forward to hearing the story. She says she was married and divorced already. He says he likes her and he’s not looking for problems. She says her family has a lot of issues and Morgan is just the tip of the iceberg. Aaron says he has baggage too, and they can exchange war stories over dinner. He thinks it’s cool how honest she is.

Carly goes down to the records room and sneaks in. She looks up something on the computer.

Griff says she needs to have faith that the jury will see the truth despite the dead witness. Anna says faith in what, because she doesn’t think God is smiling on her. He says he’ll have faith for the both of them. Anna asks if Griff ever feels as though God failed him. He says no, but he’s felt that he’s failed God.

Sonny says he’s not there to kill Carrrlos, he just likes seeing him look afraid. He says he meant what he said before, even if Carrrlos gets off, he’s a dead man walking.

Julian and Alexis get busy. Like now is the time for that.

Kristina asks if they’re going out to eat or if Aaron is whipping something up. They decide to go to some fusion restaurant.

Carly prints out a list of all the employees who were working the day of Jocelyn’s transplant.

Finn’s hypochondriac patient is dead

Anna asks how Griff let God down and he says that’s a story for another night. He says he doesn’t think she should be alone and asks to stay in the guest room.

Julian is asleep. Alexis sits there staring at him.

Sonny says Carrrlos might walk but he’s not getting far, and his life is going to be a nightmare.

Tomorrow, Carrrlos asks Paul for help, Maxie wants a discussion with Nathan, and Jason tells Sonny he might have a problem.

General Hospital — Friday

Obrecht tells Finn that his patient is dead, and that Finn apparently missed something that killed him.

Jordan and Andre continue to get busy. That’s one long song. And it’s not Stairway to Heaven or Light My Fire. Andre asks if Jordan has any doubts.

Lulu and Rocco are home with Dante. He asks if she’ll miss Windemere. She says aside from the maid service, a chef to cook the meals, her mother right down the hallway and all the other amenities, no. Ha-ha! Lulu being funny.

Maxie is hounding Nathan about the wedding plans. He says all he cares about is her saying “I do,” but promises to come up with some opinions if they can talk about it later. She says they’ll have an in-depth discussion leaving no wedding plan stone unturned. He says every time they do that, the discussion turns into an interrogation about Claudette.

Carrrlos tells Paul he needs his help.

Sonny is on the phone and says he wants to know if a motion to dismiss happens. Jason pops into his office telling him he might have a problem. Jason says he spoke to Michael and Sonny is right to be worried. He thinks Carrrlos was bargaining with Michael for info about Sabrrrina. He says he doesn’t think Michael is going to do anything stupid though.

Finn says there’s no indication of cardiac distress. Obrecht says he’s not as thorough as he thinks. Finn tells her she’s a long way from the records room. She says in reorganizing it, she had to check Mr. Ellis’s records and now they’ll be issuing a death certificate.

Lulu says any place with Dante is an improvement. He says he has a surprise for her.

Andre is like, what’s that sound? and Jordan says it’s her meditation tape that she uses when she’s stressed. He says she doesn’t seem stressed, and they listen to whale sounds. Jordan admits it’s a bit of a mood killer and he suggests a glass of wine to get the mood back. Jordan checks her phone and there are 8 messages.

Maxie says she’s not bringing Claudette up again. Nathan says he’ll see her later to discuss the pros and cons of a destination wedding. She looks at a paper that has Claudette’s address.

Carrrlos says Sonny is blaming him for Hale’s death like he could do something from jail. Paul says that’s a possibility. Carrrlos says Sonny is going to have him killed. Paul says sorry about that, but he isn’t clear on what Carrrlos wants from him. Carrrlos says to get him out of there right now.

Obrecht says the patient’s death was preventable and gross negligence on Finn’s part. She leaves and Carly talks smack about Obrecht to Finn. She brings up how Obrecht gave Finn grief when he didn’t show up for his presentation because he needed an insulin shot. He says she’s given it more thought than he has. He says sorry they came up empty as far as Jocelyn goes, but Carly says she got the records.

Dante says they’re making a fresh start, so why don’t they look into a bigger place? He says Rocco is getting huge and needs more room. Nice off-the-shoulder top on Lulu. She says Rocco never doubted for a second they loved him and anywhere the three of them are together is fine. Dante says he’d felt like he lost a part of himself when they were apart and he never wants it to happen again. He tells Lulu to check her email since he sent her links to some properties. Dante’s phone rings, it’s Jordan, shocked that Hale is dead.

Jason brings up Hale’s death and Sonny asks how he knew. Jason says he was at the station. Sonny says Julian had him killed and he knows it. Sonny describes what must have happened and says he was forced to take the needle once. He says Julian had Duke killed and he’s been covering his ass ever since.

Paul says he sympathizes with Carrrlos, but there’ nothing he can do since he rejected the plea deal. Carrrlos says he might get the urge to tell someone about the skeleton in Paul’s closet. He thinks a lot of people would like to know about the circumstances surrounding Sloane’s death. Paul says he can transfer Carrrlos and give him extra security. Carrrlos says Sonny has people everywhere, and Paul says his location will be secret and he’ll be transferred within the hour. Carrrlos isn’t happy. Paul signs something and wipes his prints from the pen. Carrrlos sees the pen and a paperclip next to it on the table.

Finn tells Carly nice work, but they should pretend he doesn’t know anything about it. She says about what? Finn says if she has any questions, he’ll help. Obrecht joins them, saying the family denied her request for an autopsy due to religious reasons. Finn says he’d like to know what happened himself. Obrecht leaves and Carly says she’s sorry. Finn says sometimes patients die. He says he’s fine, but thinks he needs to get back to work.

Dante tells Jordan that Hale died from an overdose. He says they questioned Alexis, but had to let her go. Jordan says she doubts Alexis would do something like that, but Dante explains that he and Anna were hoping Julian would spill his guts. Jordan says it does seem funny and asks if he can go over to the station now and see if he can find out anything further. Dante tells Lulu he has to go and she tells him to text her if it’s going to be an all-nighter.

Andre comes back with the wine. Jordan tells him about Hale’s death and that it was possibly murder. He says he’s sure Anna was counting on him and asks if it’s okay to talk about her. She says she’s worried about Anna too. Andre says he’s more worried about Jordan and starts kissing her. He asks if there’s something else on her mind. She says she doesn’t think she’s going to be good company tonight and wants to get back to the station. She tells him to stay and get some sleep. He says he’ll go in to work too, and do some catching up. He says there will be other nights and Jordan agrees.

Sonny tells Jason that Julian poisons everything around him, Alexis for example. Jason says there’s no love lost between him and Julian, but he’s Sam’s father so he’s chosen to maintain a neutral position. Sonny says he doesn’t have that luxury and it has to stop. Jason says sorry, but he can’t be involved.

Jordan gets to the station. Paul tells her Carrrlos doesn’t feel safe in the jail. Jordan says there’s nothing she can do about it and Paul tells her about the transfer and how Carrrlos needs security. She says it will be 24 hours. Paul says they can’t wiat that long and Nathan volunteers.

Carrrlos takes the pen and the paper clip and hides them in his sleeve.

Sonny tells Jason he won’t confuse him with the old Jason who would never lie to him. Sonny makes it up as he goes along, saying Jason said things he didn’t say. Jason says he doesn’t work for him and Sonny asks what he’s doing there then. Carly comes in and asks what’s up. Jason says he thinks Michael is going to be fine and he’s sorry, he can’t be part of this life.

Maxie visits Lulu. She asks why Lulu didn’t tell her she’d moved back. Lulu says she and Dante were inspired by Maxie and Nathan. She asks how the wedding plans are going. Maxie says she sees why brides go crazy and says she has a question for Lulu.

Nathan tells Dante about accompanying Carrrlos. He says Paul pushed it through and he doesn’t think Alexis even knows. Dante asks to tag along. Carrrlos says Dante’s father is a known criminal who’s threatened his life and Dante says Carrrlos will just have to trust him.

Maxie asks Lulu to be her Maid of Honor. She can’t imagine having the wedding without Lulu being a part of it, and says she can even pick out what she wants to wear. Lulu says of course.

Andre introduces himself to Finn. He says Mr. Ellis was a frequent patient and it seemed like he was just suffering from loneliness, but apparently that wasn’t the case. He says he knows it’s not easy to lose a patient. Finn says sometimes death can be a release and Andre asks what he means.

Sonny tells Carly that sometimes Jason seems like his old friend, but then he shuts down. He tells her about the witness turning up dead. He says Alexis will file a motion to have the case thrown out. Carly says she always knew Alexis was a hypocrite and all she cares about is keeping Julian free and in her bed. Sonny says the bigger problem is that Carrrlos is going free unless he does something.

In the car, Carrrlos asks if he scares them so much, they both had to come along? Nathan says Anna is a friend of his and Carrrlos says Anna caused him a lot of pain. He says all he wants to do is live in peace with the mother of his child and how come everyone is hassling him? While he’s giving a mini speech, he gets free of the handcuffs.

Finn says he’s talking about a spiritual release. Andre says it’s a funny attitude for a doctor who’s job is to defeat death. Finn says he wants to reflect on things alone and leaves. He locks himself into an examination room and sinks to the floor. He gives himself a shot.

Maxie tells Lulu there’s so much to do she’s overwhelmed. Lulu says they need to tackle one thing at a time, and asks what Maxie is going to wear. Maxie says she’s made plans to check out some designers in New York. She says she also has something else to take care of. She’s found out where Claudette lives.

Jordan says it’s not going to be easy, but they can still win the case with the sworn statements. She asks Paul if that isn’t what he wants to do.

Carly tells Sonny to leave the fate of Carrrlos with the justice system and to have faith.

Carrrlos practically climbs into the front seat, and the car swerves, colliding with something or someone.

We see Jason lying on the road with his motorcycle, along with the car Carrrlos was in.

On Monday, Jason remembers things,

People’s Couch Quotes of the Week, Plus One

Sometimes I miss the good old days when it was just sort of, well, don’t die. — Emerson, referring to taking care of a baby, while watching Thicker Than Water.

Hugh Laurie. Remember him from House?
What house? — Ayn and Sue respectively, while watching The Night Manager.

And the secret to longevity — who knew?

Don’t wear beige: it might kill you. — elderly model, Sue Kreitzman.

May 4, 2016 — GH, Little Reunion & Double the NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie is looking for Nathan at the hospital. The nurse at reception suggests she ask Jason where he is, since she saw Jason with some cops.

Nathan sees Griff in the hospital locker-room. He asks Griff if he’s okay and says it looks like it hurt. He adds that Griff has a specific kind of scar and he knows how Griff got it.

Sam is concerned about Alexis being suspected of murder. Jason tells Sam that Anna only accused her to get at Julian and asks if she thinks Julian did it. She asks Jason if he isn’t thinking the same thing.

Dante sees Anna at the station and says he thinks Alexis is up to her neck in it.

While looking for Nicholas, Elizabeth is startled by Franco at Windemere.

Griff says he wishes he had an epic gun battle story, but it was more like being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nathan asks who shot him and why.

The nurse tells Maxie to check the locker-room.

Sam says Julian hasn’t changed and only told Alexis what she wanted to hear. Jason wants to get involved, but she tells him to stay away and go talk to Elizabeth about Franco.

Elizabeth wonders how Franco got in there. Franco says he learned the catacombs when his mother was in a crazy phase. He tells Elizabeth he wanted to warn her about a storm headed her way — Hurricane Jason.

Molly is doing laundry. She’s not happy about Julian, and Kristina says she thought Molly put her Julian issues to rest. Molly says she did until Alexis decided to defend Carrrlos. Kristina says Alexis has totally lost her way and sold out.

Alexis says if she gets arrested, Julian can call Diane, but she won’t be. Anna asks Dante if she can sit in on the interrogation. She wants to see how Julian reacts. Julian tells Alexis that Hale’s death was a tragic accident. Dante comes in with Anna and Julian says he’s not going anywhere. Anna says that’s because the two of them are a team, right?

Kristina tells Molly that she’d prefer Alexis wasn’t involved with Carrrlos, but Molly isn’t being fair. Molly says there’s no excuse to advocate murder; no one is that good in bed. She says Alexis isn’t in love with Julian, but with the idea that he’s in love with her. She says soon they won’t recognize Alexis and it won’t be long before she doesn’t even recognize herself.

Alexis tells Dante about her encounter with Hale. She says she was hoping to discover inconsistencies in his statement, but after a couple of minutes, he got agitated and left. She says the next time she saw him was in the parking garage.

Maxie wants an update from Sam on the Claudette investigation. Sam has Claudette’s maiden name and old address in Hell’s Kitchen. (That would be in Manhattan, not Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant.) Sam has to jet and says they’ll catch up later.

Griff says the incident wasn’t reported and that it was a misunderstanding. He says he did as much to contribute to the situation as the person who shot him and he’s sure they feel badly about it. Nathan says stuff happens and Maxie enters the locker-room.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jason is going to level some accusations against him and he wants her to hear about it from him first. He starts with telling her about the puppy. Elizabeth says he should always check with the parents first and he says he gets that. He tells her about breaking up with Nina and how he drew the ugly picture of her. He says that Jason and Sam made a bigger deal about it than it is, and that he totally screwed up and the breakup is on him. Elizabeth says the bright side is that he’s drawing again and he’s still helping people, especially Jake. Enter Jason, who will no doubt change that.

Anna says Alexis’s account doesn’t address her opportunity. Alexis says hasn’t Anna been charged in another case, and Dante says she still works there. Julian says there’s no proof to suggest Alexis did anything. Dante says they still have to hear from forensics. His phone rings and Dante leaves. Anna asks if Alexis can account for her actions. Alexis says she was with Julian, who corroborates this. Anna asks if there’s anyone who can vouch for that who’s not involved. Julian says Alexis would never kill someone to protect Carrrlos and Anna says no, but she would to protect Julian.

Kristina tells Molly that getting involved won’t change anything, it will just upset the fragile peace she has with her parents. And besides, she has to get ready for her date.

Griff tells Maxie and Nathan to enjoy their evening and leaves. Maxie wonders why he left so quickly and Nathan says it’s probably his fault for prying about Griff’s scar. Nathan says the way Griff was talking about it, it was like he felt he deserved it.

NuNurse starts talking to Griff about the Hale thing and Alexis’s involvement. Sam comes by and tells her she’s talking about Sam’s parents and to butt out. NuNurse leaves. Sam tells Griff a little about the situation and he says his father was also a mobster.

Franco says Jason runs to Elizabeth like a playground tattletale. Ha-ha! He does! Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around his son. He says that Franco said Elizabeth wouldn’t let that happen because they’re so close. Franco says Jason is twisting his words and Elizabeth says maybe Franco should go.

Molly asks Kristina to tell her about the date. Kristina says her date’s name is Aaron, but Molly thinks she means Erin. There’s a knock at the door. Molly answers and it’s a guy looking for Kristina. Kristina says this is her date.

Franco asks Elizabeth if she’s going to let Jason dictate her life now and if it wasn’t for Jake, Jason wouldn’t give her the time of day. She asks Franco to leave. Jason tells Elizabeth that Franco is dangerous. Elizabeth says he’s made more progress with Jake than anyone else and she doesn’t see it that way.

Griff says eventually the mob cost his father his life and hopes Sam’s father fares better. Sam wonders if they’ve met before. Griff says he’s been told he bears a resemblance to his father, Duke Lavery.

Anna brings up Alexis pushing Alcazar off the balcony, and Alexis says she was of diminished capacity at the time. Anna asks if she was of diminished capacity when she killed Kristina’s boyfriend, Kiefer, by running him over. Alexis says it was deemed an accident. Anna says Hale had been clean for a year, and they’re supposed to believe he overdosed just after Alexis was harassing him? Alexis says believe what the evidence says. Anna says one death is an accident, but three is a pattern. Julian tries to interject, and Anna says if Alexis didn’t kill Hale, who did? Dante comes back and Anna asks if it was an overdose or murder.

Molly says Kristina didn’t tell her that her date was…such a cute guy. Aaron comes in and Kristina tells Molly to behave.

Maxie tells Nathan they should mind their own business and he asks if she’s feeling okay. She says normally, she would tell him to leave it alone and badger Griff herself, but they have a wedding to plan and she doesn’t want him distracted. Nathan is still concerned though.

Sam says she didn’t know Duke had kids, and Griff said he just found out. Sam tells him her father is Julian.

Dante wants to talk to Anna outside. He tells her the only prints on the needle were Hale’s and they have to let Alexis and Julian go. He tells them not to leave town. Anna says Alexis is married to the man who ordered Carrrlos to kill Duke. She asks if she’s Julian’s stooge or his accomplice. They leave. Dante tells Anna he understands, but they have no proof. Anna is worried Carrrlos is going to walk.

Griff tells Sam whatever happened with their fathers is between their fathers. Sam says she thought Duke was a good guy. Griff says he’s heard that. He goes back to work.

Jason tells Elizabeth she can’t trust Franco She says maybe Franco isn’t the most honest guy, but she doesn’t think he’s the bad guy Jason thinks he is. Jason says when it comes to their son, they should err on the side of caution.

Kristina comes back downstairs and thinks Molly scared Aaron off, but he’s just in the bathroom. When he comes back, Molly tells them not to do anything she wouldn’t do and leaves. Kristina says she hears Aaron is a knitter. He says something tells him there’s more to Kristina than meets the eye too.

Maxie wonders if Nathan has to go back to the station and he says yes. She makes him promise to leave Griff alone. She says everyone has a past, even Nathan.

Anna looks at a picture of Duke, lamenting how she thought she could get justice and make it right, but she failed. The doorbell rings. It’s Griff.

NuNurse, whose name is Amy (I wonder if this is a nod to the original Amy, Shell Kepler, who sadly passed away many years ago), tells Franco he’s looking good. He asks for a hard copy of his schedule. She has to make an alteration though. Elizabeth is discontinuing Jake’s art therapy. Amy says look at the bright side, more time for him and his girlfriend. Ouch!

Jason tells Elizabeth she made the right decision. She says Jake is not going to be happy. Jason says if he wants art therapy, they can find someone else. He says they’ll tell Jake together tomorrow. He leaves after patting her on the leg like she’s a linebacker. It’s that friend pat people do when they want to make sure you know they’re not interested in you that way.

Sam asks Dante if Alexis is at the station. He tells her that Alexis and Julian left. Sam asks about Hale and Dante says it was an overdose. She asks if he thinks Alexis did it and he says no, but he can’t say the same for Julian.

Julian asks if he can get Alexis anything and she says some answers, like to Anna’s question. She tells him don’t equivocate, evade, or lie, just tell her the truth. Did he order the witness murdered?

Tomorrow, Kristina has something to tell Sonny, Alexis questions Julian, and Finn asks Carly why she needs to see him.

Little Women: LA — The Reunion, Part Two

There’s a mini free-for-all that Kevin Frazier is trying to calm. They go to break. Matt and Briana decide they’re not staying if his texts are going to be read. Kevin says Matt should stay and take his medicine. One of the producers says they won’t include the more disgusting ones. Why? Inquiring minds want to know. Kevin says most are so vulgar, they can’t even show them. Alrighty then.

They read some phony nonsense stuff where he’s lying to women about his relationship. Kevin asks why things escalated and got as graphic as they did. This is such a stupid question, I can’t even. It’s basically a classic case of another guy going wild with other women using technology because he can.

Briana says she doesn’t defend or excuse anything, and it’s made her question her worth. Jasmine says a baby being raised by “that man” is not good. Terra wonders how many times she’s going to forgive him. Kevin asks if Matt is afraid he’ll be cut out of his son’s life. Matt says of course. He says either he’ll stop his behavior or Terra will turn out to be right.

Oh boy! Next week, there’s a special episode on Matt and Briana’s relationship because we haven’t gotten enough. We get a sneak peek. It’s all just sad, especially since she’s pregnant.

Jasmine is pissed because she gave Matt a chance and she wants the best for Briana. She says she is proud of Briana for defending herself. Tonya says they’re all upset and Briana says this is her life they’re talking about and she’s in pain. She says they doubt her before she has a chance to even say anything. Terra talks about them trying to warn her. No point in rubbing it in. Briana says it seems like they’re saying “I told you so.” Tonya says that’s not it; they’re just tired of hearing the lies.

Kevin asks who Briana thinks is there for her. She says Christy has been there, but the others seems to just give lip service to it. Jasmine is hurt and I don’t blame her. Briana admits Jasmine has also had her back. Kevin is like, quit the attack mode and think of something helpful.

Elena thinks they sholdn’t pressure Briana to break up with Matt and that if she has love for him in her heart, she has the right to work on it. Kevin asks Briana if she believes Matt is capable of faithfulness. She says she wants to, but he hasn’t proven that when times get tough.

Kevin asks Matt if he has anything to say before he goes. He thanks Elena, Jasmine and Christy for being supportive and says he has nothing for the other two. Exit Matt.

We flash back to Terra and Christy’s relationship and how it had improved until the ice tea incident. (Guns N’ Roses‘ sequel to The Spaghetti Incident.) Kevin goes over what happened and it sure sounds like Christy started it. Terra says it took a lot for her to become friends with Christy again and it hurt her to find out Christy was lying. She says the only thing she shouldn’t have done was throw the drink. Christy says it upset he to hear that Terra and Tonya said she tried to force them to come to Mexico. Three angles of unedited video happens. I swear it looks like their almost laughing during this altercation though. It’s all fun and games until someone goes home in a cone.

Christy and Terra argue about what happened and who started it, even though we saw more aspects of this than a Jets game. Elena interjects that Christy has changed her story. Kevin asks if she really had a concussion. She says yes, and Terra asks if anyone has seen the test result. Christy says she gave it to production. So let’s see it. Oh, okay, Kevin glosses over that one.

Terra says by filing the police report, Christy will never be her friend again. She says Christy totally messed with her home life and her work life. I kind of don’t blame her on this one. Yeah, no one should be throwing anything at anyone else, but seriously, it didn’t look like anything happened except Christy’s hat getting grazed, we still didn’t see any proof, and Christy should have settled it between them — not in court or in the court of public opinion, otherwise known as TMZ and Instagram.

Special guest, Dawn, arrives. Kevin says she was instrumental in Christy filing charges. Dawn is the cranky paralegal from Little Women: NY. Dawn says since Christy went to the hospital, it was definitely assault. Christy said Dawn told her she had to do something because she had a concussion. I guess settling it between themselves was out of the question. Kevin asks why she didn’t bring the hat, which she insists is mesh, and Christy says her lawyer told her not to. Kevin asks if that means there will be a pending case.

Terra says Christy threw the first punch, I mean, glass. Everyone starts talking at once and Kevin tells everyone to shut up. He says they can play the video again. Oh man, it’s so obvious that the cup only skimmed the top of the hat; it didn’t even move the hat. Kevin says Christy clearly threw the first cup.

Kevin asks if Dawn’s opinion is changed after seeing the video. Kevin calls it an alleged concussion and Christy gets annoyed. She tells him to call the hospital and mumbles about how she should have brought the report. Well, yeah. Kevin tries to get them to shut up.

Dawn says it’s not the first time Terra has exhibited this behavior. She says that when Terra was in New York, she chucked a beer bottle at her. I’ve wanted to chuck a beer bottle at Dawn since we first met her.

We get a scene from the upcoming Little Women: NY from when Terra visits. Terra has a great haircut and Lila gets in her face, insults her and tells her to get out of her apartment. We’ve been seeing a smidgen of this on the commercials. Kevin asks why she threw a bottle. Terra says Jason had invited her over and immediately Lila told her to leave since she’s unstable, but she wasn’t assaulting anyone, and she just threw it at the door.

Kevin asks who called TMZ about the ice tea incident. Christy says they showed up at the hospital. Kevin asks Dawn if she called and she says no. He asks Terra the same question, which is really stupid, since it made her look bad, which is exactly what she says. She says every time there was something in the press, Christy’s was the name in the headline. Dawn says physical violence is always unacceptable. Like we haven’t seen some nasty stuff from her. Terra says the charges have been deemed irrelevant by the police and the DA dropped the charges. Kevin tries to go to break, but no one will stop talking.

He asks for any final words from Dawn. She says everyone is amazing, but there’s no reason for physical violence between little people. So, is it okay for average sized people?

The men join the group, but Joe had to leave and tend to Penny. Kevin says he and Todd stood by their wives during the fray. Terra says it had a big impact on their family and there’s still no proof. Kevin asks Todd if he thinks filing a police report was necessary. Todd is like, duh…I dunno, but concurs that Christy had a concussion. Terra says Christy lied just the way she always does. Christy asks why she cares and Terra says because Christy messed with her life.

Terra makes Christy produce her EpiPen to prove she has allergies. <snort> Todd says he has no issues with Joe and that pisses Christy off. Kevin asks if there’s any coming back, but it looks highly doubtful. Kevin says this will have to be settled next season.

Kevin gets nosy about Jasmine having another child, since everyone else is pregnant. Preston says he’s excited about the twins. Kevin says several of them received calls from Matt and asks what that was about. Chris says Matt just talked about his past and how it affected what he’s done. Preston says his main concern has always been Briana and Matt has some deep issues. Todd says hopefully he gets help. Kevin asks if they should stay together.

Chris says Matt needs to get help before they can move on. Todd says it’s a grey area and he can’t honestly answer the question. Preston doesn’t want to commit to an answer either, but he says Briana is a grown woman and it’s up to her. In other words, there’s no way these guys are giving an opinion on this, and that’s a smart move. Matt says he agrees it’s on him. He either gets help and fixes it, and they stay together or don’t. Very astute.

We see another clip from the Matt and Briana special. We see a lot of Matt whining and pointing fingers. Kevin asks why do the special? Terra says the viewers care about Briana and will want to see what happens. Briana says from day one, their relationship was in the spotlight, so why end with more questions than answers. She says they still need to figure out where they are and where they’re going and get ready for the baby. Matt hasn’t been living at home, and they’re spending tonight in a hotel. After that, who knows?

Kevin tells us that Little Women: LA will be returning for another season. But I guessed that when he used the words “next season.”

Little Women: NY

Lila is having a party. She’s now rooming with Jason, who comes in with the decorations. He says moving out of his parents house is exciting but scary, and how better to celebrate that a pajama jam. They try putting up some crepe paper. “Try” being the operative word.

Lila asks if she’s going to meet Jason’s special someone tonight. He says yes, he thinks it’s time. He asks Lila if she’s going to be okay with having alcohol for the other guests, since she’s a recovering alcoholic, and already Lila starts whining. Jasmine is bringing another little person along who is new to the city.

Jazmin meets Jess (new girl) in Central Park for a workout. Jess is aka Jersey Jess and traveled with Hulk Hogan’s wrestling show. She’s in the city going on auditions. Jazmin tells Jess about her SIL Dawn and we flash back to how unsupportive Dawn has been of her. Jazmin says she can be herself around Jess and hopes everyone is accepting. Ha!

Dawn has just broken up with her boyfriend and is putting her energy into work. She’s first to arrive. Jason tells Dawn that he’s invited someone to the party and Lila tells her about Jazmin’s new friend. Already Dawn acts like Jazmin can’t think for herself and wants to size the new friend up.

When Jess comes in, Dawn already knows who she is from social media. She says Jess is well known in the little people world and not for her charity work. In her interview, she’s very insulting to both Jess and Jazmin. Jess is has a kind of dwarfism where she’s small, but proportionate, and feels she doesn’t fit in with either crowd, average or little.

Oh no. Dawn feels it’s her “responsibility” to tell Jazmin about her concerns. Jazmin said she knew Dawn would feel that way, but hoped she’d have some manners. They’re downstairs and Lila hears them shouting. Dawn’s brother is defending Jazmin and this offends Dawn. David says Dawn shouldn’t judge people by the internet and she’s being judgy. Dawn says Jazmin should watch the company she keeps. David says they should join the party and Dawn says the discussion isn’t over.

Jess says they found out how thin the walls are. Jason introduces his new boyfriend, DJ. Jason talks about how they met online. DJ is pretty cute. Previously, it hasn’t been mentioned that Jason is gay, but it’s also been very obvious. At least to me. Probably to everyone.

Terra shows up. Lila wonders if it’s some sick joke. Lila had once had a brief fling with Joe when he and Terra had broken up. Later, when Terra and Joe were back together, Lila kept trying to hit on Joe and it didn’t go over well with Terra, causing a fight a couple of LA seasons ago. Jason is friends with Terra and says it means a lot that she made it. Lila says Terra dragged her name through the mud and she is not happy. We flash back to the LA altercation.

Lila says Terra has some major nerve and her home is her sacred place. Terra asks Jason for a tour and Lila runs and locks her room. It’s a duplex apartment, which is awesome. I can’t imagine what the rent must be. While they’re out of the room, Lila asks the others wtf does Jason think he’s doing? She says she doesn’t want friction between them, but it’s a huge slap in the face. She gets all weird about where Terra’s pocketbook and shoes are and moves them.

Terra asks Jason if she was supposed to put her purse in the toilet. Jason says he didn’t realize it was all still an issue. They go back downstairs and Terra apologizes for being a surprise. Dawn chastises Jason for not giving a heads up and says he should talk to Lila. Terra says sorry, but Jason invited her.

Lila reads some kind of blessing thing they got as a housewarming gift and tells Terra to get out. Terra asks where her shoes are and Lila throws them out the door. Jess wonders how Jazmin is friends with Lila and Dawn. Lila threatens to call the cops about an intruder. This girl is definitely unhinged. Terra says she came over for Jason and Lila is clearly having emotional issues. I say Lila is clearly a whackjob. When Dawn tries to stick her nose into it, Terra lets fly about Lila trying to sext Joe after they were engaged. Lila gets an inch from Terra’s face and screams at her to get out, hurling a bunch of insults at her. Terra throws a beer bottle and it sticks in the door. Bet she couldn’t do that again if she tried.

Jason can’t believe all this drama is happening in front of his new boyfriend and thinks he should reevaluate his friendships. He walks Terra out and she tells him that it’s his place too, and not to let Lila call all the shots. Speaking of shots, Lila says she’d kill for a cocktail.

Jess is talking to her friend, Kim, on the phone and tells her about the party. She says her best friend, Katie, is coming for a visit. She’s pregnant and just broke up with her baby daddy. She and Jess know each other from the wrestling circuit. The baby’s father is average sized and the baby is going to be a little person. Jess tells Katie about how she felt judged at the party.

Lila meets Dawn in the park for yoga. They discuss Lila loosing her sh*t at the party. Lila says that Terra wouldn’t get out of her area. To her credit, Dawn says reminds her that she has a roommate. Lila says she’d rather live in a broom closet. Dawn goes through various yoga positions and Lila isn’t sure if she’s serious or just making them up as she goes along.

Lila is angry at herself for how she reacted, but Dawn says at least she didn’t have a drink. Lila says Dawn helps her put things in perspective and she wants to keep her friendship with Jason.

Jason meets Jazmin for coffee. He says the party was crazy and didn’t sit with him well. He says no one understood his point of view. He says if Lila invited an enemy of his, he’d at least be cordial. Jazmin says he should have told her first. He says he didn’t have anyone on his side, even her. He feels like he was piggyback attacked. He says he’s hurt that people thought he was being malicious and no one stood up for him.

Jason says everyone forgot his character and now he questions his friendships. He says he’ll apologize to Lila, but he’s not letting her run the show either. He thanks Jazmin for letting him vent.

Jess shows Katie around the city. Katie has no idea what she’s doing with her life. She’s been seeing her boyfriend, PJ, off and on for years. She wants him to put a ring on it or move along. She says right now she’s focusing on her and the baby, and if he joins them, he joins them.

David’s job wants him to go to Orlando — this week. He doesn’t have specifics on how long and he wants Jazmin to come with him. Jazmin doesn’t think it’s fair to make her leave her career. David says it will be really expensive to keep two places, so maybe she could get a roommate. He suggests Dawn because she’s the only other person in New York and the internet doesn’t exist. Jazmin isn’t thrilled with that idea, but says she’ll do anything to stay in the city.

Jazmin and Dawn sit down together. Jazmin tells Dawn about David’s job and how she thinks it’s bad timing for her to leave NYC. She suggests they room together. Dawn says she was raised not to rely on family and they’re still working on their relationship. She says Jazmin should get her own place and learn what it’s like to be independent. It’s a no and Jazmin says she’s asking for help. Dawn won’t let her talk and Jazmin says she won’t listen. She asks why Dawn is always shutting the door on her. Dawn says she needs to spread her wings and Jazmin says she does, but Dawn is critical of her.

Dawn says she’s being honest that it won’t work and she needs to respect that. Jazmin says Dawn is literally a knucklehead. Jazmin tells her she’s going to end up alone with cats. Ha-ha!

This season, Jason and Lila discuss the Terra thing, Katie’s baby has extra fingers, Lila’s father dies, Dawn lectures Jess (and probably everyone else), there’s some dancing and a Slip’N Slide, and the baby comes.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Yay! Back to back NYC tonight!

Bethenny is packing a bag for her daughter, Brit. She says Brit is like a mini-me, although she’s still independent. Bethenny gives her selections to choose from, rather than just telling her what to do, which is an excellent parenting move.

Dorinda meets Carole for dinner. Carole has a new phone. She lost her old one. Without a password. She says she had a sexy screen saver of Adam on it, and Dorinda says someone got lucky. They talk about Jules’s seven year project house. Carole says the vibe was off for her and Dorinda says it was tense and awkward. Carole says only the two of them ate. Dorinda thinks they’re using John as a panacea for all the group problems and I don’t even know where that came from. In her interview, Dorinda thinks she should keep John away from the other girls.

Jules shows up and Carole apologizes for ruining the energy at the brunch. She says she and Bethenny felt awkward. Jules says she’s having a hard time having a favoable impression of Bethenny. She doesn’t know if Bethenny is rude, condescending or what. She’s really annoyed about the criticism of her home. The girls say it’s just her personality, but Jules says that’s not an excuse for being rude. In her interview, Carole says Jules doesn’t know Bethenny  and she was just being “overly honest.” Here we go again with that honesty thing.

In her interview, Jules says there’s a difference between new money Bethenny and old money her and Michael. Jules says maybe she’s misunderstanding Bethenny, but she hasn’t had a good impression. Dorinda says Bethenny is an acquired taste, but she thinks if Jules is willing to peel back the layers, there’s a friendship there. Carole says Jules seems sweet, but under the surface, there’s crazy.

Sonja is going over her schedule with her latest intern. Then the great leveler happens — her dog poops on the carpet. Ramona comes by for a visit. She has her notarized divorce papers. She reads them out loud. They get hung up on the word “solemnized.”

Ramona says Sonja wasn’t invited to Bethenny’s party because she gets embarrassingly drunk and Bethenny doesn’t want to be around her. Sonja thinks Bethenny would tell her something like that herself and I do too. Ramona says she sees that Sonja drinks too much and that’s why she’s stepped away somewhat. She says she’s seen people hold Sonja up and Sonja says she’s seen the same with Ramona. Ramona says she’s in denial and Sonja thanks her for her opinion. Sonja says she does what she wants and reels it in when she has to. She adds she’s coming off a tough time.

They talk about the Countess, and Sonja tells Ramona she’s coming to stay for a while. Ramona does not think that’s a good idea and that she’ll be a horrible influence. She thinks Sonja will try to keep up with the Countess who apparently has a wooden leg.

Adam is off doing a documentary and Carole feels a little envious. She FaceTimes with him. It’s the longest they’ve been apart and Carole likes the feeling of missing each other.

Jules meets Bethenny for lunch. Bethenny knows she was harsh at the brunch and wants to connect with Jules. Jules is nervous and says the brunch was a little tense. She can’t seem to get her point across and in her interview, Bethenny says Jules needs a map to find the words. Jules says Bethenny was kind of abrupt. Bethenny says she didn’t know it was only going to be six people and when John opened the door it wasn’t a good start. Jules says she felt hurt that Bethenny criticized her home. Bethenny says she’s sorry if she made Jules uncomfortable and it was nothing personal. Jules says it’s hard for her to talk feelings.

Jules talks about having an eating disorder when she was younger. She says you’re never cured, but you learn to deal with it. In her interview, she says she was a swimmer and when she quit swimming, it got bad. Bethenny thanks her for being honest, and says it brings up her own issues and how she had to walk on eggshells around her mother as a child.

Jules says she and Mike have a guy in mind for her and he’s a Greek shipping heir. Bethenny says she loves feta cheese. I’m not sure if she’s talking about cheese or it’s a euphemism for something. Just kidding.

Carole and Bethenny go to Ramona’s place for lunch. Carole asks Bethenny how the lunch with Jules went. Bethenny says she encouraged Jules to be honest and she was open and vulnerable. Bethenny doesn’t repeat what Jules told her and in her interview says that’s not her story to tell. Good for her. Ramona asks Carole if she’ll be okay with the Countess is invited to her birthday party, although she’s putting them at separate tables. It’s going to be quite a crowd.

Bethenny tells about getting together with Kyle Richards and Kyle having a dinner party. The Countess harassed Bethenny relentlessly for an invite even though it wasn’t her party to invite anyone to. Bethenny wonders if she’s still friends with Dorinda and Carole says Dorinda is okay with her.

Dorinda and Jules meet at the salon for a mani/pedi. Jules says she learned you have to give someone a chance to explain themselves and says she feels better about her relationship with Bethenny. Dorinda talks to Jules about the bra party and how she felt overwhelmed by Ramona and that she doesn’t feel the same anymore. She says it’s devastating thinking you’re safe with someone and then finding out you’re not. Amen, sista. Been there, felt that.

It’s time for Ramona’s birthday party. Bethenny says the crowd looks like they haven’t moved from last year. Ramona says these are all the girls who were supportive during her horrendous divorce. Bethenny and Ramona talk about Sonja, and Bethenny says the reason she didn’t invite Sonja to her party was because they haven’t hung out in months. So this means Ramona made that up about Bethenny saying it was about her drinking. Nice.

The cake is pretty amazing, with a decorative icing (I think) purse on top of it. Jules says she’s heard negative things about Sonja, but feels a connection right away. The Countess pointedly ignores Carole. Carole says she’d rather the glide-by than the fake double air kiss.

The Countess had something made for Bethenny for her birthday. It’s some kind of bag with her name on it. Ramona is a little miffed because she got a necklace from the Countess’s collection and knows it was a regift. The Countess tells Bethenny she’s like family, but Bethenny says she was aggressive about Kyle’s party. The Countess is offended and starts getting a little loud. Bethenny says friends aren’t pushy like that and the Countess says friends don’t do what she’s doing now. Bethenny says she doesn’t think the Countess is honest and the Countess says if she doesn’t think so, she’s sorry. They hug and the Countess says she’s a little fragile right now. Bethenny says she just wants her to be honest. In her interview, Bethenny says she thinks the Countess is feeling lonely and it’s catching up with her.

Dorinda says she doesn’t want to talk about anything in the past and it’s onward and upward. She discusses John with the Countess, Sonja and Dorinda, and says the critics must be jealous. Ramona immediately relays that to Carole and Bethenny. Dorinda gives a toast. She says it’s the day after the fourth anniversary of her husband’s death and talks about how Ramona made her get up and out at a time when she wanted to hide. She says that girlfriends are the most important of all relationships.

Next time, the ladies see a psychic (we know how that always goes), Jules tells Carole about her eating disorder, Dorinda and John have a fight, and Sonja is getting into the liquor business, since she’s already into the liquor.

May 3, 2016 — GH, Mediterranean Hello, Beverly Hills Good-By & Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Replay of the scene in the park where Jason catches Franco spying on him and Sam.

Hayden goes back to Windemere with Nicholas. He asks her to explain about the diamonds. She says he planted them, if they’re even real. She says he thinks he can tie the diamonds to her father’s money, but he’s wrong. He says he can and he has.

Griff asks Anna if she’s okay. She says she’s been thinking about Duke. Griff says it must be gratifying that Carrrlos is behind bars on the anniversary of Duke’s death. She tells Griff about the eyewitness.

Replay of Alexis finding a dead Hale. She calls out for help. Nathan comes and tells her to call 911. Like you need to tell this to an adult (a lawyer no less) who has just found a dead body.

Julian says it’s done. Nina walks in and tells him this is nowhere near done.

Sam says Franco must have been watching them at the barn and Jason asks what he wants.

Nicholas says there are possessions of Hayden’s parents that are still unaccounted for. Hayden says she has no idea where any of it went. Nicholas says there’s an inventory online and the diamonds are part of a necklace listed there. She says if the diamonds are real, he’s gone to a lot of trouble. Nicholas says the stones are marked and can be traced back, and he’s had the stones examined. He says if she’s not convinced they should call the Feds. She asks him not to.

Sam asks why Franco is stalking them and he says they’re only moderately interesting at best. She tells him about the footprints at the barn. Franco makes up a child’s rhyme, ending with, “I did not stalk you on a lark; I did not stalk you in the park,” and I laugh. Jason asks why he was in the bushes then and tells him he’s not fit to work with kids. Franco pulls his sketch pad out and shows them sketches he’s done in the park and says that’s his hideaway to sketch wildlife. Jason says he’s not going to work with Jake anymore. Franco says sketching helps him work stuff out. Jason acts like a nut, grabs the pad and asks what else he’s got. He sees the picture of Nina.

Nina thinks Julian is talking about the issues with Crimson, but Julian has the feeling she isn’t really talking about the magazine. Nina says he’s right and that she and Franco hit a new low — it’s over. Julian says he’s sorry and if there’s anything he can do, to let him know. She wants to know who he was talking to when she walked in. Like that’s her business.

Anna says Jordan seems to think the witness is credible. She says Paul still has his agenda with Carrrlos and they could use some corroborating evidence.

Hale still has a pulse and Nathan tells Alexis to hurry up.

Anna tells Griff that Alexis is very skillful. She wonders who Alexis was talking to at the bar. Griff says the only person Anna should be concerning herself with is her. She says if she can get justice for Duke (which sounds like an online petition), she can take whatever happens to her. She promised herself that today she was going to celebrate his life and Griff says he’s in.

Sam says the picture is disturbing and Franco says it’s a picture, not Nina’s head in a box. Jason asks if he’s going to hurt Nina. Franco asks why would he would waste his time following them. Sam wants to know why he drew the picture and he says his drawings are his business. He says he would never hurt Nina, not the way they’re talking about anyway. Seriously, this picture isn’t all that radical and these two are way overreacting.

Ignoring her question, Julian says he owes Nina an apology for his last outburst and she says she was out of line a little. Julian says talking about Franco might help. She says it’s over, but she’s not writing him off as a monster. She says he’s misguided, but she loves him. She says they just wanted different things and maybe she never new the real Franco. She tells him he’s lucky that he an Alexis don’t have that problem. D’oh!

Hale gets taken to the hospital. Nathan tells them to let him know when Hale regains consciousness. Alexis says she assumes it was an OD, but Nathan says that’s to be determined. Nathan says he has to call the station, and tells Alexis to get some coffee and calm herself. She texts Julian to meet her at the ER.

Julian gets the text and tells Nina he has to go.

Nathan asks Alexis some questions. She says she met Hale once before and Nathan asks about the circumstances.

Hayden says maybe the diamonds are a problem, but where does that leave them? Nicholas says they’re at a detente. She suggests they call it a draw and go their separate ways. Nicholas says he needs her to sign a document surrendering the rights to the $5 million from the prenup.

Anna and Griff have tea. She tells Griff how she and Duke met and tells the story of their first dance before she even knew his name. She says they connected and always had up until he died. Griff asks if their first dance was the tango, but she says that came later. She says dancing with Duke was like floating on air. Griff says he should warn her that he has two left feet and asks if she would teach him to tango as an homage to Duke.

Franco starts to leave. Sam asks if he’s going to explain the sketch. He says no. Sam says a woman has the right to know if their boyfriend is making creepy sketches. Puh-leeze. He says they had a fight, he’s pissed and he drew a picture. He leaves and Jason makes more of it than anyone ever should. Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around Jake. Normally, I like these two, but they are really annoying me today.

Alexis tells Nathan that Hale is a potential witness in a case she’s working on and that she found him just like he was. Julian shows up at the hospital. She tells him she found the eyewitness with a needle in his arm. They hear Nathan asking if he can question Hale.

Hayden says Nicholas won’t even miss the five million, but he says he’s not going to give her five cents. She says she almost died when he had her shot and she deserves something. She refuses to sign and says go ahead and call the agent. If he does, she’s going to tell about the shooting and Spencer can grow up seeing him behind bars. She says it’s better Spencer knows now who his father really is, rather than grow up deluded and find out later. I’m guessing she’s also talking about her own father.

Anna tries to teach Griff to tango. For having two left feet, he does pretty well, since that’s not an easy dance. Afterwards, he says they should go out to dinner and they can schedule his next dance lesson. She says it will give him an in with the ladies and he almost chokes on his tea, spilling it on his shirt. They leave so he can change before they go out.

Franco shows up at Nina’s office. She says she doesn’t think they need to say anything else. He agrees, but tells her about Sam and Jason seeing the sketch. He says if they told her about it, they’d give her the wrong idea and he wants her to see it.

Hale is dead. Nathan asks if the body can be examined. Julian says clearly it’s an overdose (like he was there), but Nathan says they can’t be sure until they assess the body. He says when he gets back, he’ll have to know what case of Alexis’s Hale was involved with. Ha-ha! Julian must be nervous AF.

Alexis tells Julian that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos. Sam and Jason come in and Julian explains that Alexis found a junkie that had overdosed. Alexis adds that it wasn’t just any junkie.

Anna and Griff go to the hospital where Griff apparently keeps his clothing. While he changes, Anna calls Jordan and leaves a message asking her to meet tomorrow.

Nicholas suggests they table things for now. Hayden says they should both back off, at least until tomorrow. She says she guesses they’ll just stay married and he says for now. She says since she’s still his wife, she’s entitled to certain rights and privileges. He says, “As you wish, my princess,” and starts taking off his clothes.

Nina asks if it’s a threat and Franco tells her Sam and Jason thought the same thing. He says it’s not a threat, it’s just how he sees their relationship right now. She says she doesn’t see anything that horrible. Franco says he had high hopes and she says she did too. He says he thought it was forever and it’s over. When he had that realization, he drew what he was feeling. He says he sees them as broken and twisted and it can’t be fixed.

Nathan wants the car dusted for prints. He says he’ll be back to finish with Alexis’s statement. Jason asks who the guy was and Julian stalls. Alexis tells them that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos and Anna overhears.

Hayden tells Nicholas to stop and says she was talking about money. He says they each have control over their earnings, but oh that’s right, she doesn’t have any since the Quartermaines left her out in the cold. She asks if she’s a prisoner there. He says if she chooses to stay, he can give her an allowance, and that the days of his indulging her every need are over because he doesn’t love her anymore. He says the diamonds changed everything and her past is catching up to her. I’m confused. Where did he find these diamonds, since she wasn’t living there anymore?

He leaves and Hayden says, “No, my prince. It’s not over.” I love that prince/princess stuff.

Franco says he still wants what they had and that Nina is amazing. He says she’s an unforgettable woman and he wishes her every happiness. Nina says what about him and he says he doesn’t think happiness is in the cards for him, but it’s okay. He says he realizes he should just be him — the kind of guy who wold draw a picture like that. Seriously, the picture wasn’t all that bad.

Nathan walks in on Griff, who is looking at the scar on his body. Didn’t Maxie say it was a gunshot wound?

Anna says Alexis was badgering Hale earlier and now he’s dead. She asks why the both of them are there and Alexis says she found Hale. Anna says Alexis does everything to protect Julian and now she’s killed for him.

Tomorrow, Nathan says he knows how Griff got his scar (hmm…did Nathan shoot him? and does this have something to do with Claudette?), Alexis pleads innocence, and Jason tells Franco that he’s not getting inside Jake’s head.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

A bunch of new names to learn. Except for Chef Ben who was also on most of the Caribbean seasons.

Chef Ben is excited to be on the water in Greece, since it’s similar to where he trained in Italy. Hannah, the chief stew, says it’s unusual to be meeting an entirely new crew and taking on guests the same day. The boat itself, the Ionian Princess, is decorated very gaudily. Julia, stew #2, says she’s speechless. Me too. The fixtures are…well….

Captain Mark asks first mate Bryan to be his go-to guy, especially since there’s a bit of a language barrier. Tiffany is the 3rd stew and there are deckhands Bobby, Danny, Jen and Miko.

Ben thinks Captain Mark is odd, but says all captains are odd. Everyone is putting away supplies. They all seem down to help, and this looks like a hard-working bunch, which wasn’t always the case in the Caribbean.

The deckhands and stews have meetings where they talk about their yachting backgrounds and skills. Tiffany aspires to be a captain. Hannah doesn’t seem to understand why Tiffany would take a position she doesn’t want, which wasn’t exactly what she said, and I already see that Hannah is going to be a pita.

Jen and Julia talk relationships and Jen reveals she’s gay. She thinks Hannah is hot, but just wait. I’ll bet by the end of the season she won’t be able to stand the sight of her. Cleaning commences. Hannah says she’s a high school drop-out who was told she wouldn’t amount to anything, so I see now she’s an overachieving perfectionist who will want everyone else to be perfect too.

Christine is the primary guest, along with her husband, Bob. The captain goes through the preference sheets. Christine has a natural skincare line and Ben is supposed to incorporate the flavors of the ingredients into the food somewhere. Hannah thinks she has good chemistry with Ben and since they’re both from Australia, that’s probably part of it.

The crew changes into their formalwear to greet the guests. Ben says it’s insane to have done all this and have guests within 24-hours, but it’s okay because he’s insane. Ha-ha! I like Ben

The guests arrive. Christine has a high-pitched voice and is annoying me already. Hannah shows the guests around the yacht. Christine says she likes the marble in the master bath and I have to say it is beautiful and probably the only good thing about the decor in there. I can’t deal with the gold swan faucets.

Jen and Tiffany do laundry, longing to be outside, and the deckhands do deckhand stuff while they talk about women. One of them says he’s worked on some boats with heifers and it sucks. I cringe. BTW, he’s not all that. Ben talks to Christine about the food. He likes challenging the guests’ palates by trying new things and hopes this group is up for it.

They drop anchor somewhere in the Greek Islands. Christine shows off her fitness on deck, while some of the guys go swimming. It’s time for cocktails, which I think is really all the time on a yacht. The guests want to have a football game streamed in. Hannah is messing with the TV and says that guests don’t understand that they can’t exactly get cable in the middle of the Mediterranean.

When it doesn’t seem to be working well with the TV, Bob tells Hannah that it’s one of the non-negotiables. She knows that means if it doesn’t happen, their tip goes down. Ugh! Dude, you are out on the water in the middle of nowhere, not home on your couch. First idiocy of the first episode of the first season. Well, except for that heifer comment.

This place is just beautiful. Ben is going to make moussaka for dinner. The captain and several deckhands get in on the TV issue. Jen is the most experienced deckhand, but says she sees already that she’s not favored because she’s a female. No surprise, since Bryan has never worked with a woman before.

Dinner is served. Ben looks like he’s wearing pajamas, but I guess it’s a chef’s jacket. He has to flambe the cheese appetizer and timing is everything. It looks really tasty. Really tasty. The moussaka is next. Hannah doesn’t explain it very well to the guests though. Everyone complains that it’s too heavy. Ben says he likes to eat lean as well, but he wants moussaka in Greece. I’d like some right now. He seems to think part of the problem was Hannah’s description of the dish. Hannah thinks Ben has issues with being wrong.

Ben says you can always make amends and goes up to explain dessert. He’s incorporated the skincare flavors of green tea, coconut and something else I’ve already forgotten. Glad it’s not lanolin or microbeads.

Jen is late getting up and seems resentful that she has to be on deck early. I thought she said she was the most experienced and wanted to be noticed? Hannah says it doesn’t look like they can stream the game, so she’s going into town to see if they can make it happen there. Cranky Bob is starving and Ben makes frittatas for breakfast. They’re heavenly from the reaction of the guests. Julia thinks Hannah is getting stressed. She says doing acrobatics has taught her how to hide stress, but I fail to see the connection. I’d definitely be stressed doing acrobatics and would not be able to hide it.

Bryan asks Jen if she was up when she was supposed to be. She says just a few minutes after and Bryan tells her six means six and don’t let it happen again. Danny tells Jen he didn’t say anything, but Jen doesn’t believe him. (He didn’t.) She doesn’t know how he gets through life without lying. Remind me to never take her on as a friend.

Bob is bitching that he’s never missed a Steeler’s game. Well, if it was so important, why didn’t you plan your vacation around it? Hannah is going nuts trying to find a place where he can watch it, so her crew members aren’t penalized.

This season, Hula hooping, birthdays on the water, twerking, hair extensions, inappropriate romance, and someone gets sent home. Below Deck: The Original will also be back this fall.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Three

Eileen was offended by Lisa’s blog where she spoke about an abusive relationship, when LVP didn’t want to be open with them on camera. Andy asks if LVP was hurt by the guy, and she says twice and she left. She starts crying and says she hasn’t cried about it since then and had only even mentioned it to Ken once. Andy says he’s surprised she never shared it. Yolanda says that’s what they want to see, those deep emotions. Eileen says that’s how people bond on a deeper level. Here’s a clue, maybe she doesn’t want to relive the moment and rehash it with her friends.

Kathryn says she has shared things like that with LVP, but that she comes off as detached when she’s around the group. LVP brings up the Yulan dogs. Eileen says she has more empathy for animals than she does for the group. So do I. LVP is like, thanks, that’s not the first time you’ve been nasty. Eileen covers by playing the honest card. LVP says she was hurt and Eileen doesn’t think it was nasty, but apologizes. Andy points out that Eileen apologized immediately, and asks LVP if she has a hard time with apologies. She says she must if everyone thinks so.

Eileen says she hated being a bitch this season and resents that she was turned into one because of this whole mess. They talk about Kathryn passing along what Erika said about LVP being manipulative. I don’t think Kathryn should have repeated it, but hey, how about not talking about people behind their back? Discussion of Erika using the c-word commences. Bleh. I don’t like it and I think it’s rude to use it in front of someone who finds it offensive, just like I would any other word. We go back to Kathryn repeating what Erika said. Erika says it wasn’t smack, it was her opinion. The word “opinion” is used the same way the word “honest” is used with these women, as an excuse to be nasty. Maybe her opinion is smack. Erika talks about when Kathryn acted stupid at her dinner party. Erika says Kathryn called LVP a “harmless old lady” when they spoke on the phone. Is this really necessary?

Kathryn says she never said that. Kathryn says Erika is desperate and Erika says, no, you. Kathryn says Erika gossiped about everyone except Yolanda every night in Dubai. LVP interjects that Kathryn only repeated a little of what Erika had said. Andy wants a show of hands as to who thinks Kathryn was wrong in what she did. Can we move on? Yolanda talks about that moron Brandi saying LVP is manipulative. Andy mentions Tom comparing LVP to an alligator and how LVP thought it was funny. She says it was the delivery and he was sparring with her.

Erika says LVP is tough and LVP says not as tough as people think. Kathryn says she’s never heard LVP say a bad word about anyone. Erika says although they got off to a bad start, she and Kathryn are cool now.

They show a video of Brandi who says it’s amazing to be a viewer, which is what you say when they fire you. She says a bunch of nasty stuff about LVP and Lisa wants to know why Brandi is being given a platform when she’s not on the show and they can’t reply. Yeah, me too. Nasty &)@%$!) bitch. She says LVP was a puppeteer and manipulated her. I don’t believe that for a second. I seriously doubt Brandi can be manipulated.

LVP is like why, Andy? Yolanda says it’s fair, since Kim got to come on the reunion, that Brandi should have her say. Hello? It’s a little different when you can’t respond. LVP says Brandi is ridiculous, which is an understatement, and a lot cleaner than what I’d say. Brandi is an attention seeker who can’t seem to get any on her own.

We go down Memory Lane from the little horse to Dubai. They talk about the Dubai trip. The suite LVP and Kyle was forty grand a night. Eileen tells a funny story about the aquarium in her room and how she was told no one could see in. She was in her bathrobe when the diver who cleans it came by and turned around to see him making an okay sign, and they show a pic.

No! No! No! We’re back at Munchhausen’s. I never ever want to hear that word again. They talk about LVP and Kyle’s friendship. Andy says Kyle seemed to want to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. Kyle says she loves Lisa and knows she feels the same and would always have her back. They talk about some of Yolanda’s Instagrams being funny. Yolanda gets insulted, but they show one that totally is, with her inside some device that looks like she’s in a toaster.

We see Ken telling LVP that LisaR is a wanker and stupid bitch. Both Eileen and LisaR say they’re appalled that a man would talk like that about a woman and would be offended if either of their husbands did that. Really? You mean to tell me that in a private conversation if your husband jumped to your defense that way, you’d be pissed at him? Highly, highly doubtful. And I also doubt it’s never happened. It’s sad that I’ve come to think these two are a bit delusional. I also love how Ken always stands up for his wife. I think it’s commendable.

LVP says that’s the way Ken felt and he was pissed off. She should have said he was being honest and giving his opinion. Yolanda brings up when Ken called her stupid and we flash back. Giggy! OMG we’re back to Munchhausen and LVP manipulating LisaR. I can’t take it. Andy asks if LisaR is easily manipulated. She doesn’t know. She says no one can figure out if she’s a people-pleaser or bipolar. Then we go back to you-know-what and who said what first. If I was at this reunion, I’d refuse to participate in this topic any more.

Andy moves on to….no, we’re not moving on. LisaR wants her moment and talks about LVP telling her to drag Kyle into it. What this actually sounds like — and I oughtta know after listening to this crap for months — is that both LVP and LisaR say that LVP said the same thing, but the inflection is different, which makes a difference in the meaning. For example: You can never put too much water in a nuclear reactor. I can say it one way where you’d think you can put in as much as you like, and another way where it’s a warning not to. I see what’s happening here.

I can’t write Munchhausen again, so I’ll just wait until we change topics. If ever.

Kathryn and Yolanda zone out and Erika plays with her hair.

Andy asks who Yolanda believes. Eileen wins. Kyle says it seems like they’re trying to make a problem between her and LVP. This makes sense, since Brandi kind of did the same thing. Someone tweets that Kyle has Stockholm Syndrome. Kyle says no one is an angel there and this is being made into a bigger deal than it is.

We flash back to various times where LVP was called manipulative. Andy asks if LVP wants to apologize to anyone and she says no. Andy says she and LisaR have known each other for 25 years, which surprises me because I didn’t know that. Was I not paying attention when LisaR joined the show? Maybe. Anyway, he asks if they can repair the friendship and LVP says she doesn’t know because LisaR seems so angry. She is a freaking firecracker. I might like to hang out with her occasionally, but I don’t think we could be good friends. LisaR says she’s hurt and disappointed, but doesn’t want to hold a grudge.

This sort of threw some confusion in for me. If they’ve known each other that long, has this “manipulation” been going on all this time and the light bulb just came on? Or did it just happen out of the blue?

Andy says they did it all with class and dignity…mostly.

They talk about what they got out of the season. Kyle says knowing about Lyme disease, which I totally agree with. I didn’t know it was so mystifying and debilitating. Yolanda just wants to get well. LisaR really has nothing to say. Eileen says there’s no contest that the Housewives win over soaps in the drama department. Kathryn says it was everything she expected and Erika agrees. Erika never saw the show before and says she jumped in and found out a lot of things the hard way.

LVP says she’s sorry people thought she was manipulative and regrets not understanding Yolanda’s illenss better and that she wasn’t as supportive as she should have been.

They each say the best quality of the person to their right. And it’s all nice for once.

Note: On Watch What Happens Live (with LisaR and Chef Ben as guests), Andy retired the word I hate. There was a count, and the number of times it was said this season was 80, but I would swear on a Bible that it was more than that.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we last left, Julius was smothering his father. Success! All the doctors finally hear the monitor and come running in. I guess no one thinks it’s weird that Julius puts the pillow down as they go running toward the old man. He still has a pulse.

Lushion comes to the hospital to see Pete and Oliver asks why. He says he just wants to see how he is and Oliver says there’s a camera in the room. Lushion is like, okay, but I guess Oliver doesn’t know where Lushion is at. He gets to the room and tells Ben he’s staying the night, so he can go home. Ben says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Lushion says yeah, they shouldn’t go against the captain’s orders, but they’re both staying. He asks how Ben’s hand is. Ben says good. Lushion says that’s good. Everything is good.

Lusion goes into Pete’s room. He wishes Pete had told him what was on the disk. He swears to get revenge for all the rookies on the wall. He sheds a few tears and says he’s going to get who did this. All of them.

When is Ramses going to be in the opening montage?

Crazy Eddie approaches Ben who tells him Lushion is there. Eddie says Lushion can’t stay with Pete every night and Ben asks what he should do. Eddie tells him stop asking stupid questions and smacks him. He says if he asks it again, he’ll shoot Ben’s other hand off and tells him to do nothing.

Lushion calls Natalie who says she can’t find the disk. She just pulled up to Alex’s house, but she doesn’t want to wake everybody. She wants to wait until tomorrow. He finally says okay, but I don’t understand why she doesn’t realize how important this is. She says no, she’ll do it, but he tells her no and he’ll call her early. Lushion swears to Pete he’ll find the disk.

Marcie wakes Brad. She tells him he was calling Alex’s name in his sleep, but he doesn’t believe it. She thinks he should go home. She says he’s drinking himself to sleep and crying in his sleep and he’s going home. She wants him to just talk to her because they’re not done. She says he’d better be gone or tell her they talked when she gets back.

Kelly tells Natalie she’ll get the house process started asap. Natalie asks the kids if they took the disk out of the kitchen. They all say no. Natalie is wearing some huge hoop earrings and they remind me of the time my boss said he was going to bring a basketball into the office to see if he could get it through my earrings.

Natalie and Esperanza leave for work and the kids get on the bus. Louise asks if she can talk to Kelly. Kelly says she doesn’t want to get involved. Louise says she knows she can help Alex. She says the whole thing is her son’s fault and she wants the opportunity to try and fix it. Kelly says she’ll talk to Alex, but the answer is going to be no. Louise says she’ll take her chances.

Kelly asks Alex how she slept and Alex tells her the three hours was decent. Kelly tells her Randal’s mother wants to talk to her because she thinks she can help, and maybe she should. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby away and one of them will die first. Kelly says just give Louise a chance; she’ll stay right there. Alex still says no. Kelly says she still thinks it’s a good idea and Alex says bring her in. BTW, Kelly is wearing an amazing pink and orange retro-colored dress.

Louise thanks Alex and says she knows it’s difficult. She apologizes about Randal and says she thinks he’s losing his mind. She says he’s unpredictable and vindictive. She says maybe he was always that way and she didn’t see it. She tells Alex what he’s done to her and her family is awful.

Louise remembers something from the past where Randal was enraged over a girl’s perceived cheating. She says he finally calmed down enough to hear her and she’s still there waiting for the calm to come, but it hasn’t. She thinks there might be one thing they can do. She asks Alex is the baby is really Randal’s since she hasn’t seen him. Alex tells Kelly she’s not going to answer just so Louise can take the baby away.

Louise wants to see the baby, but Alex is afraid Randal sent her. Louise assures her Randal doesn’t even know she’s there. Kelly tells Alex it’s okay and Alex shows her the baby. He’s very tiny and cute. She says he looks just like Randal did. She asks what his name is and Alex says Brad. Thank God. I thought we were going through the whole season with this poor kid not having a name.

Louise takes Alex’s hand. She says Randal has always wanted to have a son and if he can’t see him, he’ll continue to rage out of control. She thinks if Randal can see his son, the custody thing will blow over. Alex is like, no way, and Louise says he’ll continue if he doesn’t. Alex says then she’ll play the only card she has. Louise says that he loves her and Alex says she doesn’t care. Louise says he likes conflict and if Alex gives him peace, he’ll do the same.

Alex asks if she’s done and Louise says if Alex wants her to be. Alex says yes, gripping the baby’s car seat like there’s an earthquake. Louise thanks Kelly for trying and leaves. Kelly starts to leave and Alex says she has an opinion, so what is she thinking. Kelly says Alex doesn’t want to know. She says she thinks if Alex wants to end all the drama, she should let Randal see his child. Kelly leaves for work.

Kelly stops by Ramses’s place on her lunch break to bring the papers for the sale of the house. She asks to come in. Ramses is still unpacking and she says she can help him for an hour. He says he’s good. A girl comes out from another room and says she found whatever, gives him a folder and goes back. Kelly says she has to go and bolts.

Kelly is crying at her desk and her phone keeps ringing. It’s Ramses and she doesn’t answer. Oh, come on, you haven’t even kissed yet and have no idea who that person was, not that he owes you any explanations. Alex calls and says she just sent Randal a text and he’s on his way. She wanted somebody to know and she’ll call when he leaves.

Randal the Insane comes in and asks how Alex is, saying she doesn’t look like she’s had a baby. Alex is stone-faced and tells him see the baby or get out. Randal gets emotional seeing his son. He asks what they’re going to name him and Alex says his name is Bradley. Randal says he wants the baby named after him and Alex says that’s not happening. Alex asks Randal to do her a favor and stop this now, the custody, the name, everything. Randal says he should have some rights. Alex agrees, but says that’s something they need to discuss between them later. He says he wants what’s best for the baby. Alex says she’s what’s best for him. Randal says Brad hates the baby. Alex says they’re getting a divorce and she’d never let any harm come to him. She’d hoped Randal would let her have her way. Randal says the child is his legacy and he can’t have him named after someone whose not his father. He says he’s not dictating how Alex is going to raise him; he wants custody and for the baby to not be around Brad or her father.

Alex says she wanted nothing to do with the baby at first because he reminded her of how he was conceived, in lies and in deceit and in a shed. She says she didn’t want life anymore, but the baby kept looking at her with his beautiful eyes and she knew he was her son and she’d never let anyone harm him. She says if Randal pursues this, he will harm him. Randal repeats he has rights. He says Alex doesn’t have the money to fight him, so let him have custody. She says that’s not happening. Randal says they’ll be right next door. Alex says the baby isn’t a pawn or a tie Randal wants to her and she tells him to let it go.

Randal picks up the baby. Alex tells Randal a story about a mother bear killing some hikers. She tells Randal he’s one of those hikers. She says the hikers had no idea they were in danger until it was over. She tells him his visit is over too, and she wants the baby back. Randal makes a sickening face and says she can have their son…for now. I hate him so much, and I especially hate those crazy faces he makes.

Alex tells him she’s sorry for what’s going to happen to him next. And in the perfect timing he always has, Brad walks in. He says wow and looks pretty grim.

Next time, Randal calls the baby RJ, Kelly tells Travis they’re done, and Julius’s father is still alive.