What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn asks Franco what he’s implying about Hayden. He asks why Franco would accuse her of wanting Elizabeth dead. Hayden tells Finn not to pay attention to him, but Franco says Elizabeth has something on Hayden that could put her away. Hayden says Franco is just making things up, but he says he’s not making up a pouch of diamonds that are proof of fraud. I guess telling them that they’re sisters is now out of the question.

Franco leaves and Finn asks Hayden what’s going on. Hayden tells him not to get involved. Finn says he took some things out on her and he was wrong. He says she took a risk for him and he doesn’t want her to leave town. Gee, maybe if you’d said that a week ago, you wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Hayden says she doesn’t know what to do and he tells her to stop doing it on her own and let him help her.

Alexis is at the bar. OMG – so is Julian!

Ava realizes Paul is the hospital killer. Ava wonders why he’d do something like that and says nothing makes sense.

Meanwhile, Paul continues to be the hospital killer, stalking Monica. Luckily her phone rings while she’s in the locker room, but he’s lurking right behind her.

Griff tells Franco they’ve ruled some things out, but Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods. Franco asks what he’s talking about. Griff says they need to run more tests and they take as long as they take. Doctor talk. He says she’s under excellent care and constant attention.

Julian tells Alexis that the powers that be know they belong together. She argues with him and he grabs her arm. Then we see Tracy has her arm. I can’t believe they fooled me again. Alexis asks where Julian went. Tracy says he’s in jail. Alexis swears she saw him, so Tracy calls the PCPD.

Oh! Paul’s phone goes off and startles Monica. Hiding the syringe, he makes something up about why he’s there. She thanks him for all his hard work and leaves. He sees a picture on his phone of him and Ava – he’s putting on cufflinks in the picture. He calls her, thinking that she’s trying to hold their affair over his head, but she says she has something more and to meet her at Perks. He asks where she is now and she says closer than he thinks. She talks to herself, saying now it’s his turn to have his sins come back and haunt him. This is a good one today.

Jordan comes to the hospital. Monica tells her Paul is there already. She’d asked him to come because of the patient that did and he was there in a heartbeat. Yep. He certainly was. Monica says she thought that’s why Jordan was there, but Jordan says she’s there because Elizabeth was supposed to come to the station and never showed up.

Griff tells Franco to talk to Elizabeth when she gets settled in. He believes in second chances and thinks Franco is sincere.

Hayden tells Finn about the diamonds. She says Elizabeth made her so angry, she slapped her, but that’s all. He says he believes her. She says the diamonds were all that was left after the Feds confiscated all the assets, but she never sold them because they were the last thing left from her father. Finn says help him understand how she could be so clueless.

Tracy confirms that Julian is still in jail. She asks how long Alexis has been hallucinating. Alexis says it’s more like a waking nightmare that she’s had since Julian tried to kill her. Tracy brings up the fight she had with Kristina, but Alexis says it was no big deal. Still, she’s terrified Julian will be acquitted because of her.

Paul tells Ava she’d better have a good reason for the meeting. Ava acts silly and tells him they’re in a public place, so don’t try to kill her. She tells him about Jordan calling her in regard to a murder. He tells her the flash drive is safe as long as she testifies against Julian. She says she’s not going to do that and he’s not going to give the flash drive to anyone. He thinks she’s calling his bluff, but she tells him about the cufflink and how she remembered it was his.

Monica tells Jordan how Elizabeth had a nasty fall. She starts to tell Jordan about the power outage, but Franco butts in, saying something about Hayden being responsible.

Hayden tells Finn that she has nothing left. She lied to the Feds, and if Elizabeth turns her in, she’ll go to prison. Finn says Franco is right, if Elizabeth dies, her problems go away. Hayden is aghast that he’d believe she’d kill Elizabeth.

Griff sees a needle in with the dirty scrubs. He carefully removes it.

Franco talks to an unconscious Elizabeth. He says they have a lot to talk about and there’s more to life than just toast. She regains consciousness and asks what happened. She asks about the boys and he says they’re fine. She says she’s sore and he tells her she took a big fall. He asks if she remembers anything.

Tracy says Alexis knows what the jury wants to hear to convict Julian and she has to give it to them. Alexis tells Tracy about how Jordan thought she was still trying to protect Julian and trying to discredit herself.

Paul laughs – ha-ha! – at Ava. He says she can’t prove he ever owned anything like that. She says she does have their video though. In addition to the graphic footage, there’s a clear image of him putting on his cufflinks.

Griff tells Monica about the syringe. He’s given it to the lab for analyzing. He asks about Elizabeth and they both go to check on her. Franco is telling Elizabeth to just concentrate on getting better because he’s not okay with this and thought he almost lost her. She says she’s still here and he says he’s glad. (His characters are so often brooding, it’s nice to see Roger Howarth smile. Although I’d rather see Franco and Nina together.) Griff and Monica come in. Griff says tests are being run and Monica says everyone is rooting for her and to rest. When they’re gone, Franco says everyone in the hospital loves her. Elizabeth starts to remember what happened. She starts to talk about going into Monica’s office, but Franco interrupts, so she skips to the power outage on the stairs. She tells him she felt hands on her back.

Hayden asks if Finn thinks she pushed Elizabeth. He says he didn’t say that, but the argument happened just before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, so what is he supposed to think?

Alexis says if nothing else, Scotty is going to have a field day with how long she waited to say something about Julian. Tracy says that’s okay, he’ll probably make a procedural error, and besides, they have the confession on tape. She says after all Alexis has been through, she’ll blow the jury away just by telling the truth.

Paul balks at the idea a grainy video will bury him. Um…it’s not very grainy. He asks why Ava thinks he’d be behind the killings. She says she spent time in his hotel room tonight and not to be concerned with the how and the why, but what she found. She shows him the pouch with the syringes in it and he makes a great soap opera face. 😨

Hayden tells Finn she wanted to shut Elizabeth up, but not kill her. She says she had something on Elizabeth too. She tells him she was shot last year and the official story was wrong. She says Nicholas hired sometone to kill her and Elizbeth knew about it. Finn’s mind boggles that Hayden still married Nicholas. Hayden says Elizabeth was an accessory after the fact and she was going to make a bargain with her. She says she’s not a murderer. Jordan interrupts saying she’s been looking for Hayden. She tells her that Elizabeth had called saying she had information about Hayden. Hayden says she doesn’t know anything about it and Elizabeth doesn’t clue her in on her plans. Jordan says Franco told her that he found Elizabeth with her in the stairwell. She asks what Hayden was doing before the outage and Finn says she was with him.

Elizabeth realizes she was pushed and wonders who would try to kill her. She says she was going home to get the diamonds and she’d just had a fight with Hayden. Finn got in the middle and told her to go see Monica. Franco says its not a stretch to think Hayden was involved, since when he got there, she was standing over Elizabeth.

Alexis asks Tracy what she’s even doing at The Floating Rib, since its not her usual haunt. Tracy tells her about the disastrous lunch with Dillon and how she saw Alexis talking to herself. She says she knows Alexis is angry and that anger can be motivating. She tells Alexis that it will get better and eventually she’ll have her life back, but testifying is the first step. Tracy leaves to take a call and Julian is back again, telling Alexis that she won’t be able to do it.

Paul says not that it’s Ava’s business, but he has a prescription. She says not for this he doesn’t and it’s something used for surgery. She says she was originally there out of curiosity and found the mother lode. She asks what he’s trying to cover up, who he’s trying to frame, or is he just a psycho? She says he’s done if she decides to go to Jordan. He asks what she wants. This reminds me of the time that Home Depot tried to get over on me, but then realized I had the upper hand. Long roofing story.

Griff tells Monica that the syringe tested positive for whatever that drug is that’s been killing the patients. She wonders if the power outage stopped the killer and Griff says maybe they’re the one who caused it.

Ava says Paul probably made copies of the flash drive anyway, but his silence is a condition of the agreement. She says she knows he’s angry and homicidal, but there’s no reason not to be civilized. And I swear to you, just now Paul called Ava “Anna” and no one caught it or they thought the audience wouldn’t. Ava tells Paul that she also wants Julian to go free.

Alexis says she’ll bury Julian, but he says she can’t, and they’ll be together because they were meant to be. She tells him he’s not really there. Tracy sees her talking to herself again, and Alexis asks what’s happening to her. Tracy says she’s been drinking on an empty stomach. She tells Alexis she’s calling her a cab and she’s to go home, drink some water, take some aspirin and go to bed. If she ends up a whimpering mess, Julian wins, and don’t let him win anything.

Finn tells Jordan that he and Hayden had argued and he was trying to make things right. Jordan says she might need to contact him for more formal questioning and Hayden should expect to be contacted as well. She leaves and Hayden asks why Finn didn’t say anything. He says he doesn’t think she pushed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden did this to her. Franco says they don’t know that and Elizabeth tells him about the slap. She adds that Finn saw it and says Hayden tried to kill her.

Tomorrow, Jason tells Sam to make a wish, Sonny tells Joe not to make the same mistakes Carrrlos did, and Nell asks Carly if she threatened someone.

Little Women: LA

Briana says she’s about to burst and she’s now as big around as she is tall. She and Matt go out to lunch and discuss having a housewarming or “pre-pop” party. She says if Christy shows up, she’ll call the cops. She’s furious about Christy setting her up at Tonya’s party. Briana says Christy is delusional and she thinks she must be doing something like day drinking or taking drugs. She says Christy has completely changed, and she vacillates between being zen and wired. Matt thinks they should also reveal their baby’s name at the party.

Joe and Terra are doing fun activities with Penny before she has a new brother or sister to torment for the rest of her life. They’re making some kind of craft that involves hand prints, and Penny is not pleased at having her hand dipped in paint. Joe tells her not to worry because she only has 18 more years to live with them.

Since Penny will be behind in physical development, Terra is trying to teach her more words. In her interview, Terra says there’s no scale to measure a little person’s development; everyone is different.

Preston and Elena, who looks stunning in a yellow and black maxi sun dress, sit on the patio while the babies are napping. They discuss their sex life, or lack thereof, since they have to wait six weeks. Elena says she feels like cobwebs are growing on her and she’s counting down the hours. One of the babies starts to cry. There goes relaxation time.

Tonya comes over Terra’s place. Terra wants to wrap up the feud they’ve been having. In her interview, Terra says they’ve been best friends for most of their lives. She tells Tonya that she’s sorry for putting her nose where it didn’t belong and that Tonya is like a sister to her. She starts to tear up and Tonya tells her to stop because she doesn’t want to cry. She says the activewear line is like her baby and there’s a difference between critiques and throwing shade. She’s also annoyed that Terra drug Elena into it.

Terra says she hadn’t expected Elena to make things worse. She tells Tonya that it upset her to see Tonya talking to Christy about it. Terra switches topics by saying she gets the feeling there’s been a disconnect between Tonya and Angelique since Kerwin moved in. She tells Tonya that Angelique feels like she settled. In her interview, Tonya is bothered that Angelique would tell Terra something like that before she came to her. Tonya accepts Terra’s apology, but insists she hasn’t settled.

Autumn and Christy are taking a yoga class. In her interview, Christy says yoga ain’t easy for a dyslexic dwarf, and that you’re not going to be a good parent unless you’re embarrassing your kid. My father would probably concur about the latter. After class, Christy tells Autumn that her grandfather could have colon cancer. They say they’re each other’s best friend.

The girls go to an ice cream parlor where you ride a bike to churn your own ice cream. Cool! Both literally and figuratively. Tonya tells everyone that she and Terra have reconciled. Elena says she was hurt by Tonya blowing her off at the party and feels like she can’t speak her mind. Tonya thinks once Elena actually sees her activewear, she’ll be impressed.

Tonya asks how everyone is feeling about Briana and Matt, since their party is coming up. Jasmine says that Matt makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want it to cause another rift.

Jasmine and Chris walk on the beach. She says they won’t be able to have much alone time after the baby comes. She’s worried about Briana and Matt. Chris suggests she stay out of their business. Jasmine thinks that Matt needs to understand how she feels so they can move on. She says he has a hot temper and doesn’t mince words, so she’s concerned about approaching him.

Tonya and Angelique take a flying class. Not that kind of flying, but those circles and fabric swatches people twirl around on. During a break, Tonya tells Angelique that she and Terra made up. She mentions what Terra told her in regard to Angelique’s feelings about Kerwin. Angelique says it’s a big change and she feels like she got no warning. She loves them, but feels like her opinions and feelings have been disregarded. She starts to cry and Tonya apologizes. Tonya figured since Angelique was grown, it wouldn’t be a big deal and didn’t realize she needed to adjust. Tonya asks why Angelique feels like she’s settling. Angelique says that Kerwin moving in seemed to come out of the blue. Tonya says every love story is different and their timing hadn’t been good up until then. She says she’ll never put a man before her child though. They hug it out.

Todd and Christy look at outdoor plants for their new house. Todd wonders if getting Christy’s dad involved in gardening might be a good idea. She says her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus and they need to do more testing on his colon. It’s upsetting to hear her mother talk about chemo and radiation. Todd suggests putting off his search for his birth parents so they can concentrate on her father. Christy thinks all the more reason not to wait, since there could be health issues in Todd’s family that he should know about.

The pre-pop/housewarming party begins. Briana is having mild contractions, but says she’s had them before and isn’t too concerned. Elena looks fabulous for someone who just had twins, but these girls always look well put together. Jasmine is anxious about talking to Matt, since she doesn’t know what his reaction will be, but feels like she can’t hold back any longer.

Jasmine asks Matt if she can have a word. She says she was there for him and fought for him, and the things he did with other women were disgusting. She wants to be supportive of Briana, but doesn’t want things to be awkward with Matt. Matt tells her that he hopes with time he can show everyone that someone can change. He tears up and says he wants to set a good example for his children. Jasmine says that if he’s who Briana chooses, she has to accept that. He thanks Jasmine for being a good friend to Briana throughout.

Jasmine tells the girls about the conversation. In her interview, Terra thinks Jasmine is taking it all too much to heart and Briana is the one who has to sleep with him.

Time to eat. Jasmine asks Briana about Christy setting her up for the process server to find her at the party. Briana says she’s disgusted with Christy and she’ll never be friends with her again. She thinks Christy is trying to take attention away from something going on in her own life. Elena wonders if it was just a coincidence. Terra brings up how Christy almost got her arrested and Jasmine says it’s been a chain of events. Terra thinks Christy is trying to get back at Briana for cutting her out of the loop.

Briana wonders if Christy is on something. Terra says that she and Tonya had discussed if Christy was on drugs. Briana says she doesn’t seem like the same Christy. In her interview, Terra talks about Christy repeatedly taking what she said was ibuprofen a year ago, although she doesn’t think it was ibuprofen. Elena is distressed that the allegations are so big.

Game time. The guests pick a cupcake with a letter of the alphabet on it. All together they will form the name. Maverick Jax. Okay, I’m good with that. All of a sudden, Briana says her pain is at a 10 and it’s close to how she felt the last time she went to the hospital. She’s not supposed to have her c-section for another two weeks. Terra says she could die if she tries to deliver naturally. Briana decides to go to the hospital. She’s more worried about the baby than the pain, not knowing if these are contractions or the baby is in distress. Matt gets her into the car.

Tonya says the baby is about to come. Everyone watches as the car drives away.

This season is chock full o’ fun – an amusement park, archery, bowling, Penny poops, Briana delivers, Christy is confronted and Terra is hospitalized.

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part One

Andy says hello to the ladies and they answer back like it’s an AA meeting. No shock, everyone looks fabulous. I especially love Dorinda’s white and silver dress that looks like a snowflake. Bethenny’s divorce is finally coming to a close after five years, but she’s not discussing her latest boyfriend. Jules, who is in the process of a divorce, isn’t talking about that either.

We start with Dorinda and flash back to the stupidity of John. Dorinda wears those humongous chain earrings a lot. She’s like, thanks a lot for making me relive that again. Bethenny says her hat’s off to Dorinda for putting her life out there. The Countess asks if John watched the show. Dorinda says he tried to justify his behavior at first, but she told him he was an a-hole and he accepted the mantle.

A fan asks what Dorinda thinks rubs people the wrong way about John. She says her husband was very different, visually as well as intellectually, and she traveled in a different circle, so people aren’t used to it. Sonja says a bunch of stuff that boils down to John not having social skills. The bra party is brought up. Andy asks Bethenny if she was referring to coke when she sarcastically asked if John wanted to “blow some lines.” She says she was, and Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know their life. Bethenny doesn’t want the question to go any further. Dorinda asks why Bethenny would insinuate that she does drugs and Sonja says everyone knows she does. What? Andy just moves on and I’m like, hey, go back.

They talk about Bethenny’s birthday party and how she ran from John. Bethenny says her problem is that she can’t pretend, and it makes social situations awkward. Ramona gets a turn on the John bandwagon and we flash back to that drunk guy that John tried to kick out of the party. Then we move to The Countess because she dated that guy. Ramona is asked why she wanted him to stay, and she acts clueless. Andy asks Dorinda about where she thinks her relationship is going and she says they’re both happy the way things are. I’m very distracted by the decor – silver pillows on a plum velvety couch, winter berries in vases and some beautiful pink martini and wine glasses stacked in the background. Andy said they were at The Diamond Horseshoe in Times Square, which I assume is a chic bar.

Ramona’s turn. She’s single and ready to mingle. We flash back to her many moments of flirtatiousness. In one of them, I notice a lady in the background at a restaurant noticing the cameras. My favorite part is when Ramona mispronounces reggae as ra-gay, emphasis on the gay. Andy asks if there’s anyone special, but she says she’s just dating a lot. Dorinda says she went from trapping to hunting. Andy says viewers have seen her as “lighter” this season. She talks about her and Mario going back and forth for a while before they finally divorced. She had always been the caregiver when no one took care of her. I will say, she didn’t really scream and yell at anyone this time around. It’s Groundhog Day when we go back to the pronunciation of reggae and then we move on to The Countess’s way of pronouncing things that’s totally her own.

Dorinda is asked for a review of the guys that Ramona’s been dating, but she’s not talking. She and Sonja get in an argument about how Dorinda feels about Ramona’s dating life. Andy asks how Ramona’s daughter feels about her newly single mother. They all talk about Ramona’s new ta-tas and how great she looks.

We revisit Dorinda’s holiday weekend in the Berkshires. The Countess and Bethenny bicker in those little corner squares while we watch Bethenny rip The Countess a new one during dinner. It culminates with Dorinda’s “I did it nice” speech. Andy asks if there’s a curse on her parties with the women. We go over The Countess’s claim that Bethenny copied her hairstyle. Andy asks for a show of hands, but there are no takers. They discuss Dorinda’s birthday cake. Andy says her kitchen monologue was gripping. Dorinda says at that point she just wanted to be a mother and stop the arguing and I agree – she did sound like someone’s mother. Or that guy in West Side Story who says “You kids! Why do you live like there’s a war on?” Apparently, her tirades have their own Twitter name – dornadoes.

Andy mentions that The Countess acted self-centered when Jules tried to tell her about her father being sick. The Countess says she apologized and Jules says she wasn’t offended since they talk all the time. Bethenny is called out about slut-shaming The Countess. We flash back to the married man thing in Turks and Caicos. The Countess claims he was getting divorced. Pfft! That’s what they all say. She says Bethenny is a hypocrite because Bethenny is dating a married man right at this very minute. She didn’t really say that last part, but I thought it sounded more dramatic.

The Countess says when Bethenny started dating him, he had been married and living at home. I assume she means with his wife and not his parents. The Countess asks what married man she’s slept with, and Bethenny asks who hasn’t she slept with, and Carole adds if The Countess doesn’t know, how would she know? Bethenny jokes that she’s going to come out with a Slutty Girl line.

Andy asks if Bethenny’s boyfriend left his wife for her and she says no. She actually called his wife, who she’d gone to high school with, to make sure everything was cool. The Countess keeps whispering to the others on the other couch. Andy moves back on topic and Bethenny says she called his wife while she was still only friends with him to get a time stamp. Bethenny says if slut-shaming is noticing that The Countess writes etiquette books, but then acts like a whore when she’s out, that’s what she’s doing. Alrighty then!

Andy points out that Bethenny said she liked the new, freewheeling Countess during the last reunion. Bethenny says she got a little too free, swiping men out from under their women’s noses. A fan says that Bethenny is disrespectful to her co-stars and then acts repentant. The Countess says the remorse isn’t genuine and we go back to Bethenny dating a married man because no one can ever let anything go.

Bethenny whips out her phone to call her boyfriend’s daughter. Someone always whips out something. Bethenny asks the daughter if anyone in the family believes she was dating her father while he was married. The daughter confirms that’s a no. She actually talks for a while, but you can’t hear it above the bickering going on.The Countess says the daughter is just defending her father and there’s a mini-debate about whether daughters are more defending of their mothers or fathers. The Countess calls Bethenny a horrible, evil person and Bethenny calls her a liar.

Next time – part two – The Countess loses her title, Bethenny accuses Jules of using the show as a vehicle for her divorce, Tom and Sonja are discussed and Ramona whips out evidence. Told you.

I’m also watching The Real Housewives of Melbourne, although I started late because they snuck it in on me. I like this one because the women are all loud and literally larger than life, reminding me of transvestites, and I mean that in a good way. They wear lavish outfits, throw lavish parties, argue incessantly, and go to places like Dubai, a city I’m fascinated with, but would be scared to actually travel to. I love seeing Australia as well. That’s another place I’d love to visit, but can’t imagine a plane ride that long. This season, we were also treated to a the wedding of Gamble Breaux (yes, that’s her name) on a beach in New South Wales. I recommend this one – if you can keep track of it.