Monthly Archives: December 2016

December 16, 2016 – No GH, Lots of Zombies & Four Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Due to presidential circumstances beyond my control, there was no General Hospital today. Why, why, why is it always at 3 pm? I rushed home from Christmas shopping hoping they were going to reveal who the mystery person is, only to see the horrifying words “Special Report.” It’s my understanding that today’s episode will be shown on Monday, throwing off the entire Port Charles holiday season.

Z Nation

The Man tells Lucy no one is coming for her and she has to think about her future, especially at the rate she’s aging.

Doc tells Addie that their car needs oil. They see a hitchhiking zombie in a sweater that says Grandpa on it. Addie stops the car. Doc thinks he’s trippin’, but Addie says she sees it too. They back up. The zombie comes toward the car, but as Addie is about to shoot, he says, “Lucy.” They bind him with duct tape and put him in the back seat. Doc gives him a pair of sunglasses so he doesn’t look as weird. Addie instructs Doc not to get him stoned.

The Murphy caravan pulls over. Red asks 10K how he’s holding up, and he says he’s just tired. Murphy examines his new KISSish look in the mirror. Kaya gets through to Roberta. She tells Roberta to change course to intercept The Man. She fades out and Murphy starts to freak because they couldn’t hear the coordinates. They get her back and she repeats them. There’s been no word from Citizen Z for the past 12 hours. Murphy tells Roberta he’s counting on her.

Lucy mentally contacts the zombie in Addie’s car. Doc thinks he’s dead, but Addie says he’s receiving and Lucy is transmitting. Doc calls it an apocalyptic GPS.

Red blows the car horn and pulls over. 10K is having a seizure. Sun examines him, and he has an infected wound . Murphy tells Roberta that making the right decision is her strength. She tells Sun they have to keep moving and Red should drive.

Lucy continues to transmit. The Man drives the car into the woods and then into a mountain, where a weird invisible door has opened up. They get out of the car and The Man tells Lucy no talking. They walk through a corridor that’s wet and dark, and includes a zombie banging its head against the wall. It tries to attack them, and The Man shoots it. Lucy tells him that she couldn’t communicate with it. More zombies come toward them. The Man shoots them, but they just keep coming. Some soldiers come out with machine guns, and The Man tells Lucy to get down. The soldiers mow down the zombie crowd. The Man tells Lucy not to be afraid, and that he won’t let anyone harm her.

A soldier asks if she’s infected. The Man says she’s the package. He’s supposed to meet someone from Zona. He needs access to the LZ and a radio to let someone know they’ve arrived. Lucy is pretty frightened, but he tells her it will be all right.

Addie tells Doc they’re running on fumes. They stop the car and get out, bringing the zombie along. He keeps repeating Lucy’s name, and leads them through the forest. They come to the mountain, but Doc says he doesn’t see a doorbell. Addie says she doesn’t think that’s their way in and looks up. Doc asks what about Grandpa and she tells him to stay with the zombie since he’s all they’ve got.

Doc does some Z-weed vaping, while the zombie continues to point. Doc closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them, sees some parachuters. Soldiers suddenly come out from everywhere. They knock Doc in the head. Doc tells them not to shoot the zombie. One of them says he might be the package. They tie Doc and Grandpa together back to back.

One of the soldiers tells Doc he’s going to answer some questions, but he’s only to nod or shake his head. Every time Doc speaks, he gets a smack. The soldiers are given instructions to sweep the inside and try to make contact with the base team. The soldiers go in and we hear machine gunning. The zombie starts making noises, and the soldier guarding them tells Doc to keep him quiet. Despite his binds, Doc rushes the soldier, but the soldier gets the best of him. Grandpa jumps the soldier though, and he’s toast. Doc and Grandpa look at the entrance to the mountain, and a bunch of soldiers-now-zombies come out.

Doc and Grandpa take off. Roberta appears and yells for them to get down. She shoots the zombie soldiers and then shoots Grandpa before Doc can say anything. Doc tells her that was their guy and he was helping them find Lucy. Murphy says the soldiers are from Zona and their immunity must be failing. Doc tells them that Addie is climbing up. Roberta tells Murphy, let’s go get your daughter.

Addie climbs up the side of the mountain. OMG it’s like the wall in Game of Thrones.

The Man explains what’s happening. He tells the soldiers there might be others coming, and if they get inside, shoot to kill. He starts to leave with Lucy, but she begins to cry. He tells her not to be afraid. She says she doesn’t want anyone else to die. The man says that’s exactly the point; because of her, more people will live. He says that she’s very special and she knows it, and whatever’s left of this world will know it too. She says she doesn’t want to die, and clings to him. He promises to keep her safe. She asks what’s going to happen to her, and he says they’ll find out together. Well, that’s comforting.

He asks her if she’s ready, and they go up a flight of stairs to the outside.

Roberta and the others go into the mountain. Doc tells 5K to stay and keep watch. Sun tells them that 10K is dying. Murphy tells her that he saved him once, and he can do it again. Doc and Roberta split up. Roberta hides behind a pillar and sees a group of soldiers go by. Doc looks out a window and can see the entire coast. They reconvene. Doc tells Roberta maybe they should stash 10K upstairs. Roberta says Lucy is the priority and they’ll deal with 10K when they get back.  They bring him to a spot near the window.

Sun says they have to kill 10K in order to save him, and that Murphy died four years ago. Technically. Murphy is like, I’ve been dead this whole time? Sun says yep, and 10K needs to die too, if he’s going to survive. Murphy says he doesn’t feel dead, and how do they know they’re not all dead, and this is a dream? Roberta slaps him hard, and says if he felt that, then he’s not dead. Sun says someone has to kill 10K.

She tells them, choke, die, bite, inject, in that order. Roberta tells Murphy to get a move on, and he says to give him a break, he just found out he was dead. She tells him to focus. Roberta chokes 10K while Murphy holds him down. Murphy bites him immediately after he dies. Sun does the injection. Nothing happens. Suddenly, Murphy feels something and says 10K is finished. Red says Sun has to save him. Everyone stands around looking helpless. Sun goes to 5K and Doc to let them know. Doc holds 5K.

Whoa! 10K sits up and grabs Murphy, saying he’s not his savior. Murphy says thank God for that. Red is ecstatic, and says she’s glad he’s alive. Roberta says they all are, and Murphy tells her to speak for herself.

Murphy feels something going on with Lucy, and says they have to hurry. Roberta tells Sun to stay with 10K. Red stays too.

Addie is still climbing up the side of the mountain. Her foot occasionally slips. She realizes she has to lose her weapon, because it’s just getting in her way. Reluctantly, she tosses it down.

The Man radios someone, telling them two for transport, and that the deal has changed. Lucy begs him not to make her go. He says it’s not up to him. Operation Bite Mark minus 10K and plus Murphy, keep going up on the inside.

This is the season finale. Waaaaaah! I hope it gets renewed. I always worry about that, because when I really like a show, the chances of it sticking around go down.

A zombie goes by with Addie’s weapon sticking out of its back. Maybe she can get it later. She passes a zombie mountain climber and cuts the rope holding him.

Kaya tries to contact Citizen Z. Nothing. She looks at her Nana sleeping, wondering where he is.

OBM get to where The Man and Lucy are. Murphy is shocked that Lucy is a teenager. Doc tells him that it’s the apocalypse, and none of this sh*t makes sense. Roberta tells Doc to keep her covered. She puts her gun down and walks forward, telling The Man they don’t want any trouble; they just want Lucy. She tells Lucy that this is her daddy, Murphy. Lucy asks The Man if it’s the truth, and he says yes. He tells Roberta take another step and he’ll shoot, but Lucy says no more killing. Murphy shoots, and The Man gets distracted. Lucy runs to Murphy, hugs him, and then slaps him. She asks why he abandoned her, and says he missed her entire childhood. He tells her that a month ago she was a baby, and that he loves her more than anything.

The Man and Roberta fight. The Man gets her in a headlock. He tells Doc careful with the gun. Doc tells Murphy and Lucy to run, but Murphy says, today we fight. The Man and Murphy struggle. The Man says he doesn’t want to kill him, and Murphy says he can’t kill him, he’s already dead. The Man backs up and shoots at Murphy. We see the bullet travel in slow motion, through Murphy and into Roberta.

Roberta falls to the ground. So does Murphy. Doc holds Lucy back. The Man points his gun at Doc. Doc shoots at him, but his gun doesn’t work. The Man picks Lucy up, throwing her over his shoulder. Sun and the rest come up the stairs. Lucy screams.

Addie reaches the top of the wall just as some kind of space ship arrives to take The Man and Lucy away. It says USAF on it. Everyone stares at it, frozen. The Man has set Lucy down, and Addie runs at him, taking him over the edge of the mountain. Lucy follows, and so does 5K, his wings spread. A huge gun comes out of the ship, shooting flames. WTF? Well, they left us hanging with a nuclear bomb the first time, and it doesn’t get much more dire than that.

Yay! Z Nation will be returning in 2017.

Quotes of the Week

There wouldn’t be a parade if there wasn’t Lisa on a bus. — Stassi on Vanderpump Rules

Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all you want. — Jim Rohn

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty, instead of upon your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.Charles Dickens

Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1942.Kim Zolciak’s daughters, while discussing history on Don’t Be Tardy

December 15, 2016 – A Little Bit of Soap

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Maxie is on the phone, telling someone to do exactly what she says, make it on time, and remember that it’s a surprise. Nina brings in a holiday dress for Charlotte. She wants to go to Christmas mass with Valentin and Charlotte in their finest fashions. Maxie guesses that Valentin didn’t tell her about Charlotte’s mom.

Lulu asks Dante if he’s with her in this, and can love Charlotte like a father. He says he’ll love Charlotte because she’s part of Lulu, but Valentin isn’t going to make things easy.

Ava threatens to go to the cops about Alexis driving drunk and leaving the scene. Julian tells her to let it alone or she won’t like the consequences. Jordan arrives. She wants to ask Julian some follow-up questions. Ava tells her to come on in.

Curtis tells the pawn shop guy that he’s easy going, and can forget about the lies they were told, but Jason takes offense to that kind of thing. The guy introduces himself as Winston Rudge, and says he’s not linked with any crime and resents the interference. Curtis says Winston seems like a nice guy, but needs to think fast and hard about where the tool set came from. Winston says with the economy the way it is, more people are pawning their stuff and it’s impossible to remember. Jason asks about the other employees, but Winston says he’s looking at the entire staff. Curtis wonders about any records and Winston says possible, but not probable, since it’s a cash business.

Lulu asks Dante if he thinks Valentin is telling the truth, but he says he finds it difficult to picture him as a victim. Laura sees them and asks why they’re at the hospital.

Maxie tells Nina that Claudette left out the surrogate part of the story. Nina says Charlotte has been through a lot, and Maxie agrees. Maxie explains how she and Lulu went to the doctor who did the implantation, and Valentin found out. Nina says she’s happy for Lulu, and that Charlotte needs a mom. She tells Maxie that she has a business meeting to go to, but she’s obviously upset, and I don’t think there’s any meeting.

Ava says a police officer is exactly what they need right now. Jordan is surprised to see Alexis there. Ava says she can’t stay away, but it’s probably just concern. She asks Jordan if they have any leads, and if leaving the scene of an accident is serious. Jordan says even if it’s an accident, leaving the scene is a crime. She adds that they have no leads. Alexis says she might as well leave, but Jordan asks if there’s a new development and if she wants to remove the restraining order. Alexis tells her no, and Jordan says she’s basically violating her own order. Alexis says she thought Julian would still be in the hospital, and Jordan asks if she came to see Ava.

Winston tells Jason that he doesn’t keep detailed records. Curtis picks up a model of a ship, but Winston says it’s not for sale; he’s keeping it for one of his customers. Jason gives Winston his number, and they leave. Apparently, the boat is of importance, because the camera focuses on it.

Laura asks if Rocco is sick, but Dante says everyone is fine. He gets a call and has to leave. Laura tells Lulu that if she was to look up “awkward” in the dictionary, it would have their picture, and asks if Lulu wants to tell  her what’s going on.

Felicia comes to Maxie’s office. They talk about Georgie, who is going to be flower girl at the wedding. Felicia wants her input on something, but Maxie isn’t paying attention. Felicia asks her what has her so distracted that she can’t even think about her own wedding. Maxie tells her it’s Lulu. Lulu is positive she’s Charlotte’s mom, but Maxie keeps thinking about how Lulu won’t have any memories of Charlotte’s early years, and it makes her sad.

Nina goes to Windemere and asks Valentin why he’s been lying to her.

Dante goes the MetroCourt and talks to Olivia. She asks if he can help get Christmas sweaters for everyone, and he says they’ll need one for a little girl as well. Olivia asks if it’s a medical miracle or some old girlfriend showed up. Ha-ha!

Lulu asks Laura if Kevin is coming for Christmas, and Laura says nice try. She doesn’t want to pry, but if Lulu wants to talk, she’s there. Lulu explains that Valentin is Charlotte’s father, but Claudette was a surrogate. She tells Laura that she’s Charlotte’s biological mother.

Nina wants to know why Valentin didn’t tell her that Claudette was a surrogate. He says it wouldn’t have been fair until Lulu knew. Nina asks why she didn’t let Lulu know right away. She says everyone is telling her he’s a horrible person, and she doesn’t believe it, but this is as horrible as it comes. He says he was protecting Charlotte, and did what he thought was best.

Alexis tells Jordan that she did come to see Ava. Ava says she’s just as surprised as Jordan, but Alexis claims she came to get a photo album. Jordan asks why she wants memories of the man who tried to kill her. Julian says he was acquitted, and unless Jordan wants to face charges, she’d better watch what she says. Alexis says she wanted pictures of the children. Jordan tells her that she’s not here on a social call either. Ava interjects that sometimes the guilty party can be right under their noses, and Jordan says she’s actually there to talk to Julian about the night his car blew up.

Dante explains to Olivia how Lulu is really Charlotte’s mother. Olivia is shocked, and Dante says he’s having a hard time getting his head around it. He says according to Valentin, Stavros couldn’t father a child. Helena stole a sample from him, and Claudette ended up being the surrogate. He reminds Olivia of the premonition she had that Lulu was going to have a little girl. Olivia is thrilled, and says Lulu is a wonderful mom. She wonders how Dante is doing with all this though.

Laura tells Lulu that after all these grandsons, she finally has a granddaughter. Lulu says she wanted to wait to tell anyone until after Griff confirmed the results. Laura hugs her and says congratulations. She asks how Lulu is handling this. Lulu says she’s mostly giddy and realizes Olivia’s premonition was right. Laura says a child is always a gift, and Lulu says she knows it’s more complicated than that. She says she wanted to carry a child, but instead Charlotte will always be connected to the Cassadines, and her father is the man who killed Lulu’s brother. Laura says it doesn’t matter.

Valentin says that Claudette was the only mother Charlotte knew, and he’s grateful for Nina. Nina asks if he’s been working her this whole time. He says no, he trusts her with his child, and Charlotte has taken a shine to her. He says that she knows what it’s like to be a little girl at the mercy of the grownups in her life, and he didn’t want Charlotte to experience that. Nina believes him. Valentin says Lulu hates him now, but he didn’t want Charlotte to know the truth until he was ready. He’s sorry for hurting Nina, but will never regret her being in Charlotte’s life for a minute.

Jordan shows Julian a picture of the van and asks if he knows about the company name on the side. He says Derek Wells Media has a lot of subsidiaries, but he’s not familiar with that one. She says funny he should mention Derek Wells Media, and tells him that the van was strategically placed outside of The Floating Rib when the car bomb was planted. She tells him the name  was a cover, and it belongs to Derek Wells Media. He asks why it would be parked outside the restaurant, and she says you tell me.

Curtis asks why Jason left his number when Winston is never going to call. Jason thinks he works for Julian and will tell him, drawing Julian out.

Winston brings tea to someone in a back room, and tells them about Jason’s visit. He says he’s sure they saw it on the video screen. We a Post-It note with Jason’s name and number stuck to the phone. There are some ceramic foo dogs decorating the room, and I wonder if it’s Faison. Anyone remember the Wellington dog?

Julian asks Jordan why he would have his own car blown up, and suggests Sonny did it to throw suspicion off himself. Jordan thinks it would be suspicious for Julian to blow himself up. She asks Julian if he can remember anything about the person who hit him. He says no, and it’s a good possibility he never will. She says the truth has a funny way of coming out. Ava sees her to the door.

Felicia says it’s empathetic of Maxie to worry about Lulu. Maxie says she’s been lucky with Georgie in that she doesn’t have to worry. Even if she’s not with her, she knows she’s well cared for. Felicia says a while back she didn’t think Maxie and Lulu’s friendship would survive. She tells Maxie that Nathan is going to be the best step-dad, and that Maxie is an amazing woman. She’s proud to have her as a daughter. She tells Maxie to forget the past when the future is so bright.

Dante tells Olivia that he has questions, but he doesn’t want to ask them, because Lulu might be sensitive. He says he can love Charlotte as his own, but she’s not. He thinks Lulu isn’t taking into account the ramifications. If they bring Charlotte into their lives, they bring in Valentin, and he might never be ready for that.

Lulu wonders if Valentin will take off with Charlotte, but Laura doesn’t think so. She says Scotty can give them a list of the best custody lawyers. She thinks any judge would know the best thing for Charlotte is to be with Lulu. She tells Lulu to reign in her Spencer streak in the meantime, and not do anything impulsive. They have to do it the right and legal way. Lulu says if she gets a crazy idea, she’ll try to stop herself. She’ll ask if it’s something dad would do, and if the answer is yes, she won’t.

Winston tells the mystery person, if there’s anything else you need, call.

Curtis wonders why Winston got crazy over the boat. Jason says Pete got a call just before the bomb was planted, and the bill was paid by a place in China. Curtis adds that the bag was from a Chinese food place. Jason thinks it’s no coincidence.

Ava says she kept quiet for Julian, not for Alexis, and she’ll be at the gallery. After she leaves, Alexis tells Julian that when Jordan questioned him about Sonny, she saw his face. He’s like, so what? She says just because she hates him doesn’t mean she doesn’t know him. Julian says the meds are wearing off, and asks if she could add one with lunch. He says they both know she doesn’t cook, and tells her where the takeout menus are. When she goes to the kitchen, he calls the mystery person. Alexis pops back in and he hangs up. She asks if Chinese is okay (the theme for today), and he tells her go ahead and order for him.

Olivia tells Dante that she knows it’s complicated. She’s honored that he feels comfortable telling her about it, but the most important thing is the little girl. She didn’t asks for the circumstances, and however she came into their lives. It’s a blessing. As for Valentin, she tells Dante to do what’s necessary to protect Charlotte, and she’ll do what she has to do to protect her son when Julian gets better. She says both of their situations aren’t easy, and asks how he’s going to make his work.

Valentin tells Nina that he’s a single father doing his best to raise his daughter alone. Nina is a natural and Charlotte likes her. He says Charlotte’s life benefits from having her in it, and so does his. The doorbell rings. Nina takes Charlotte’s dress upstairs to her.

Valentin answers the door. It’s Lulu. He says it’s not a surprise, and she tells him that she’s taking her daughter home. Like it works that way.

Tomorrow, Anna is on to something, Tracy tells Hayden that Finn might have found a cure, and Tom is still caged.

December 14, 2016 – Griff Confirms Lulu’s Motherhood & Some Random Notes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sam visits Maxie at the office. She’s in her third trimester. That was fast. Maxie is going to throw her the baby shower to end all baby showers.

Lulu asks Griff if Valentin was telling the truth.

Ava sets Julian up in the penthouse. She’s glad he’s still in the land of the living. Alexis shows up, and Ava tells her not to wander around, poking in her things. Alexis says she’s not interested in Ava’s things. Ava says she doesn’t agree with Alexis being Julian’s caretaker and is keeping an eye on her. Ava suggests Bloody Marys, but Alexis says that she’ll not only put Julian in a coma, it’s pretty early for cocktails, which is pretty funny coming from her.

Nell brings a box of ornaments over to Sonny’s. She says she’s glad that he and Carly are on better terms.

At the MetroCourt, Curtis tells Jason that everything in the bag could have been used to make the bomb. Jason says too bad it was wiped clean. Curtis isn’t happy about what he had to do to get it, but Jason says it might have told them more than he realized. Carly brings them coffee. She asks Jason again what’s going on, telling him he’s distant. He flashes back to Sonny’s confession about Nell. Carly asks if something has happened.

Ava says she was just talking about a small celebratory toast. She suggests that Alexis use her self-righteous indignation to help find the person who hit Julian. Alexis reiterates that if she mixes the pain meds with alcohol, she could kill Julian, and tells her to read the medical instructions. She bypasses the vodka bottle and goes into the hallway. She says she can’t do this, but if she doesn’t, she’ll lose her license. She repeats this mantra as she pours a vodka nip into her takeout coffee.

Nell asks if Sonny wants her to help hang the ornaments. Sonny says Carly loves Christmas. She was raised by an adoptive mother and when she had a family of her own, she wanted to do it right. Sonny says they’ve spent a lot of Christmases together and Nell says looks like they’ll be spending another one this year.

Curtis says Carly just caught them at a bad time. She tells Jason she’ll see him later, reminding him that this time of year should be spent with family and friends. She leans over and tells him if something is wrong, she’s going to figure it out. Curtis asks Jason what’s up, and he says maybe they’ve been going about it all wrong. Maybe the bag itself has what they need on it.

Griff says they’ll have answers yet, but they will soon. He says this is one for the record books. Lulu thanks him for trying to protect Charlotte from Valentin. He says no matter what, the back and forth has to end. The tests are being conducted blindly by two separate groups.

Sam tells Maxie she doesn’t have to throw her a shower. Maxie promises she’ll like it when she gets all the presents. She says it’s also for Sam, since she thought she couldn’t have any more children. Sam says she was blown away when Finn told her. Maxie says everyone is thrilled. Sam drops her purse and an envelope falls out. Maxie asks what it is and Sam says it’s a secret from Dr. Lee.

Alexis flashes back on the accident, and I laugh one more time at Julian flying up in the air. She says she just needs to get through this and has more “coffee.”

Julian tells Ava that he doesn’t want to be referee, and to stop taking pot shots at Alexis. Ava says he should call the police, and he repeats it was an accident. She says he must have more on Alexis than he’s saying. Everyone has a blind spot, and his is Alexis. She asks him to please let her help him and tell her what’s really going on.

Alexis chugs her coffee and goes back in. Julian is sleeping. Ava says that Alexis might have Julian fooled, but she knows the truth.

Curtis says if there’s more dumpster diving, Jason is on his own. Jason says maybe they can find out where the bag came from. Curtis is pretty sure every Chinese food place in the country has the same bag, but there’s an address on it, and Jason says it’s worth a shot. Curtis says okay, but no more dumpsters.

Nell asks Sonny if he’s okay with her doing this. Trimming the tree is a family thing and if Carly finds out what happened between them… Sonny says she won’t. Nell says it will stay between them. Carly comes in and says the tree looks beautiful. She starts to put on ornaments and asks Sonny if he wants to help. He tells her she does a great job, but she says that sounds like an excuse to stand around and do nothing. I’m totally with her on this, as my husband does the same thing to me, telling me how good I am at something he doesn’t feel like doing. She hands Sonny an angel.

Alexis says she doesn’t know what Ava is talking about, and is too tired to decode her rants. Ava says that Alexis thinks she covered her tracks, but she knows why Alexis is there. Alexis says vague accusations only work in old detective novels. Ava says okay, you ran over my brother. She says Julian told her. Julian wakes up.

Carly goes down Memory Lane with the ornaments. Her phone rings. It’s someone from Atlanta. She says yes, Nell is her assistant. She asks Sonny if he wrote a recommendation for Nell to get a job in Atlanta.

Jason and Curtis go to the Chinese food place. But it’s a pawn shop. Jason asks the proprietor if it used to be a Chinese restaurant, and he says it closed a while ago. He asks if either one of them would like jewelry for their ladies. Jason asks if the guy could look at some photos. He shows him Julian’s picture, but he doesn’t recognize him. He shows more pictures, and also the tools they found in the bag, but it’s a no. The guy says he does recognize the bag though.

Sam explains that the doctor wrote down the sex of the baby, but she and Jason don’t want to know. Maxie tells her that’s old-fashioned. She says if Sam didn’t want to know, she wouldn’t be carrying it around. She tells Sam about how she named Georgie early and talked to her. She asks Sam how she’s going to decorate the baby’s room and what about Danny? Sam says he’s curious about Scout, and wanted a puppy, but is settling for a sibling. She says they’ll know when the time is right. Sam goes to take a call and Maxie brings out the envelope again.

Lulu thanks Dante for coming with her to the hospital. She says she knows how much he loves her, but also knows it’s hard on him in a different way, since she had a daughter with another man. She says despite Helena, Charlotte is innocent. Dante says Claudette is a liar, and Valentin hasn’t been forthcoming, so they’ll have to wait for the results to know for sure. Griff comes back out.

The pawn shop guy says tons of the bags were left behind, so he uses them. Jason thinks the tools might have been bought there, but the guy doesn’t recall selling them. Curtis asks to look at a watch while Jason wanders around. Jason says they might have something.

Carly says Nell works for her and made no mention of going back to Atlanta. She says she wants to discuss it with Nell before she talks to them about her. She hangs up and says Nell has a well-paying teaching job thanks to Sonny. She wants to know what’s going on and why no one talked to her. Nell says it’s just a misunderstanding. She was talking about being a teacher in the future, but Sonny thought she meant now. She says Sonny wanted to do something for her because she’s been so helpful to Carly, but she’s not going. Carly doesn’t want her to give up on her dream. Nell thanks her, but says she already feels like this is her real home. Cut to Sonny who does not look happy.

Griff tells Lulu she’s Charlotte’s mother. Dante asks if Valentin is the father for sure, and Griff says without question. Lulu says it’s like a dream, but it’s real. The man who killed her brother, the man who she hates so much, is the reason she has a daughter.

Ava tells Alexis she belongs behind bars. She asks if Alexis is so worried about getting her precious license back that she’d actually take care of Julian. Ava says she’s shocked that with all her self-righteousness, Alexis didn’t cop to it immediately. Julian tells her to stop it, and says everything stays between them. Alexis says she showed bad judgement, but the bottom line is that she has to stay with Julian until he’s convalesced, and that’s what she’s doing. Ava says there’s something about the night Alexis isn’t telling them, otherwise it makes no sense. Alexis says she’s going to the store. Ava tries to stop her, and the bottle falls out of her purse.

Nell says she loves the kids, but she finds working for Carly more interesting. She talks about going with Michael to the gala, and how he changed his outfit for her. Carly tells Sonny that Michael is thoughtful; her, not so much lately. Sonny says it’s time to move on, and he’s looking forward to Christmas together with the family.

Jason says the tool set seems to be missing a tool. The guy says it’s a pawn shop and not everything comes with a full set. Jason says it’s curious how a homeless man ended up with one of the bags. Pawn shop guy says he could have gotten the bag from anywhere, and he doesn’t recognize the photo. Jason takes the wire clippers out of his bag, and they fit in the empty spot in the took kit.

Sam thanks Maxie for the offer, but Maxie is insistent and Sam realizes she just wants to throw a party. She tells her no baby shower games, and goes down in the elevator. Maxie says there will be a surprise and she knows just what to do with this (meaning the envelope, which she still has).

Ava says Alexis was drinking that night, but Alexis says she collects them when she flies. Ava says she’s endlessly judging, but the truth is, she drove drunk. She says Julian might be willing to enable her, but she isn’t. She’s going to cops and telling them the truth. She can’t wait to see Alexis in prison.

Lulu is aghast that she shares a child with Valentin. Dante says they have to prepare for a custody battle. Griff says Charlotte is lucky to have Lulu as a mother, and goes back to work. Dante tries to get ahold of Diane. Lulu says before they call, she needs to know about them. She says whenever they’ve talked about the embryo, it’s been hypothetical, but it’s not anymore. She wants to know if he’s with her in this, and if he can love Charlotte like a father.

Carly doesn’t want to jinx anything, but thinks she and Sonny have a shot at making this Christmas about love and honoring Morgan. Avery cries and Carly goes upstairs.

Pawn shop guy doesn’t know what to tell them. Jason says he hasn’t told them anything, but they’re not leaving until he does. Curtis says he’s told them a bunch of lies, but he’s easy-going and can look past it. Jason can’t though. Jason says the wire cutters were involved in a serious crime, and someone he loved died. He suggests that if the guy doesn’t want to join that person, he start telling them what they need to know. A security camera films the exchange.

Tomorrow, Olivia talks to Dante about his pending fatherhood, Nina asks why Valentin is lying to her, and Jordan visits Julian.

Sad news – there will be no Below Deck reunion this season.

🏖 Good news? Ah-ha! Now I see why those twins made friends with Stassi, and we saw them on Vanderpump Rules. A new show is coming up called Summer House. Stassi is barely in the commercials, but I saw her, and the twins are more prominently featured. It looks like The Real World with people ten years older. While I can somewhat excuse the hot tub drunken sex behavior on The Real World considering the age of the participants, this looks very unattractive. I also heard that the town of Montauk is not happy. Apparently, they’re making it sound like Montauk is a party town when the house isn’t even located there. Nobody wants another Jersey Shore on their hands.

December 13, 2016 – Tom is Trapped, Dorit is Celebrating & Caroline #1 is Just Plain Rude

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tom says Franco can’t keep him forever. Franco says he’s in there because of what he did to Elizabeth and clearly he hasn’t been rehabilitated. He tells Tom he’s going to make sure that he never hurts anyone again.

Hayden and Finn are talking and all of a sudden she has a seizure, and the alarms go off.

Carly asks Michael what’s up with his outfit. He says Nell felt under-dressed for the gala, so he made some modifications. He asks if Carly has seen Nell, and explains she was gone when he came back to the terrace.

Nell asks herself why she went with Michael when she knew it was only going to make things harder. She looks at her scar and says it doesn’t change what Carly did, and she deserves what she has coming.

Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to tell Carly what happened between him and Nell.

Carly tells Michael that maybe they got their wires crossed. Nell wouldn’t just leave when they were having a good time. He says maybe she’s right.

Nell looks at the note from her father that she keeps in a music/jewelry box. The kind with the ballerina that spins around. Her phone rings.

Sonny says Jason can’t run to Carly and tell her. Jason says he wasn’t going to do that, but he wants sonny to. Sonny says he’s not easing his conscience at Carly’s expense.

Michael and Carly discuss Christmas plans. She tells him that she and Sonny are getting along, and she’s probably spending most of Christmas at his house. Michael asks if they’re getting back together. She says she didn’t mean to imply that, but they are getting along, and she thinks it would be good for all of them to be together.

Tracy runs into Hayden’s room and tells Hayden she’s going to be all right. Finn injects a stabilizer. It’s the drug he’s been taking, and Tracy says she thought he was running low. He says he is, and it won’t keep them both alive much longer.

Tom tells Franco that he paid his debt to society. Tom asks what Franco deserves. Franco says he was sick, and Tom asks what he thinks this is. Franco says he’s doing a public service and protecting every woman who’s unlucky enough to cross Tom’s path. Elizabeth knocks at the door. Franco turns up the music, and gives Tom a shock on the collar before he can say anything. Franco tells him if he tries to take off the collar, he’ll turn it up to Irish Wolfhound.

Franco answers the door. Elizabeth says she’s on her dinner break, and she needs to talk to him about Tom.

Finn says now that he and Hayden are sharing, it’s two weeks tops. Tracy says she’ll call Sonny, but Finn says the last time was a problem, and this time someone might call the FBI. He says Hayden was exposed to a concentrated form of the disease, so it’s hitting her harder, and the shot will only keep her going one or two days. Tracy tells him to get to work and quit hovering around her; the only hope they have is for him to find a cure. She tells him to get on it before she has to bury him, and he has to bury Hayden. Hmm…that sequence doesn’t sound right.

Nell thinks about Michael. Then she thinks about Sonny. She texts Michael.

Michael tells Carly that Sonny wants her there for Christmas, but she shouldn’t get Sonny’s hopes up. Nell texts him that she wasn’t feeling well. He tells Carly that whatever she decides, he’s there for her and he loves them both.

Sonny asks Jason if he wants him to make Carly’s holidays worse by telling her about Nell. Jason says Carly will understand. Sonny says it’s not like Jason never kept a secret; he pretended to be Michael’s father for a year. Jason says that was to protect them. Sonny says keep the secret and he saves a family. If he tells Carly, he risks breaking them up for good.

Michael knocks at Nell’s door as she listens to her music box. He brought chicken noodle soup, ginger ale and her coat. She apologizes for leaving so abruptly. She says she had been dealing with a guest that was sick, then she felt sick, and she didn’t want to get him sick. He says she doesn’t feel warm, and she says she took something. He says if they’re ever out and she feels awkward or bored, to tell him the truth.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s not having an affair. Morgan died and he made a mistake; that’s not going to happen again. He asks if Jason is going to play God and tell her. Carly comes in. She says she brought a Christmas tree, and Jason can help unload it. She says they have kids and it’s important that they have a good Christmas. She asks what she walked in on.

Elizabeth wants to come in, but Franco says no; she’d see her present. He’s working on something that he feels strongly about, and Elizabeth thinks he’s making her something. He says nothing in the store would adequately express what she means to him. He came up with the perfect idea, but it’s only in the beginning stages.

Tracy says she’ll look after Hayden. She tells Finn, physician heal thyself, and while he’s at it, heal Hayden. Finn tells Hayden he has to go away for a bit. She asks him not to leave her alone, but he says there’s work to be done. She tells him she has someone else now, and calls him daddy. She says he’s never thought anyone was good enough, but she’s the one not good enough. She starts to describe Finn and says he’d like him. Finn plays along. She says when she’s being difficult, he gives it back to her, and they’re good for each other. She says Finn means end in French, and he’s her end. She doesn’t need to waste time looking for anyone else. She loves him.

Finn says he’s right there, and Hayden asks what happened. He says he has her stabilized and she says she’s never getting better just worse. Tracy suggests she’ll get better if Finn gets to work. Hayden tells him when he finds it to come back, and he says he’ll be bringing skates.

Sonny tells Carly that he and Jason were talking about Morgan. She asks Jason if he knows who did it, and Jason says not yet, but he’s making progress. He says he knows the holidays will be tough, the first Christmas without Morgan, and wants her to know he’s on it. He says he cares very much about all of them and wants them to be okay. Carly says no promises, but they’re working on it.

Nell apologizes to Michael, and says she should have just told him the truth. Michael says it’s on him. She made it clear she wanted to keep things professional, and he twisted her arm to come. She says it’s not like she left because she was having a bad time; she was having a great time. She’s the one who should have held back to not blur the lines He says he needed a friend, and thought she needed one too.

Franco tells Elizabeth that it’s not like anything he’s ever done before, but if it doesn’t work out, he’ll get her a slinket, a blanket with sleeves. She says she’d rather have what he’s making, but she wanted to talk about Tom. She says she doesn’t want him making it worse when things are good right now. She says she doesn’t need him to vanquish Tom. He asks what that means, and she tells him that she doesn’t need him to be a hero; he already is to her.

Nell tells Michael she could use a friend. When Carly offered her the job, she thought it was exciting to start over, but didn’t realize how lonely it would be. Everything is unfamiliar and overwhelming.She wonders if she made the right decision, and thinks maybe her life in Atlanta meant more to her than she thought. He asks why she ran, and she says his mom is her boss and the job is the only thing she has. Michael says he’ll leave her alone. She says the truth is, she’d hate it if he never bothered her again. They both need a friend, and if things get complicated, so what? Life is full of complications.

The tree is set up. Sonny says no matter how many people are in the house… Someone will be missing, Carly finishes. She says they should all be together and miss him here. She says it’s supposed to be about joy, but if they’re together they can be sad together as Morgan’s family. She tells Jason he’s included too, and he thanks her. She asks him what’s on his mind.

Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe he’s not a traditional hero, but to her he is one. He says maybe they read different comic books, and that heros should do everything they can to keep everyone safe. She says Tom hasn’t done anything. Fracno adds, yet. She says if she could wave a magic wand and never see him again, she would, but neither one of them have that power. They can only move forward together. He says he wants that, and she’s like, just do it.

Hayden thinks Tracy is her mother. Tracy says she isn’t, and Hayden says that her father wasn’t her father, and now she doesn’t want to be her mother. She asks if she reminds her of the affair, a reminder of her life’s greatest failure. Tracy says that’s not true. She’s not her biggest failure, the only failure is her. She failed her daughter.

Finn yells at his notes, asking them why they keep failing (word of the day). He apologizes to Roxie for scaring her. He says if it doesn’t happen soon, Hayden will die. He’s thisclose and wonders what he’s missing. He gives Roxie some treats. He talks about her losing scales to make way for shiny new ones and has an epiphany. He talks about getting rid of what’s unusable to make way for what is.

Tracy tells Hayden that she wasn’t a good mother; she was harsh and judgmental and cold, but not because she didn’t care – she was inept. Even though she was raised by the sweetest woman, she put business and profit first. We realize she’s talking about herself now. Hayden says things can always change. Tracy says she doesn’t have to live the way she did yesterday, and she loves Hayden. Hayden says she loves her too. She says she found someone to love, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

Finn picks up Roxie and a syringe, and says maybe she’ll be saving Hayden’s life.

Elizabeth asks Franco to spend the holiday with her and the boys. He says he’d do anything for her. She tells him not to overboard with the kids. She has to get back to work, and asks him to meet her for coffee later. He says his project is at a critical phase, and he wants to keep going. They say good-by.

Tom fiddles with the lock on the crate, but stops when Franco comes back in. Franco says he wants them to get along in their time together, and doesn’t want to use the shocker. Tom says he doesn’t want to die, but Franco says he’s not that guy. Elizabeth has changed him. He’s not going to kill Tom, just end his life as he knows it.

Jason says it’s great to see two of his best friends getting along, and hopes it’s a sign of things to come. Carly does too. She says she’ll be in touch about Christmas, and leaves. Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to say anything.

Nell tells Michael that she really did have a good time. Michael says tell him if things get awkward, and she says she’ will. He leaves, and she goes back to her music box. She takes out a baby rattle.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s important that Carly heal, and she might not be able to if the truth comes out. But if she asks why he’s acting weird, he’ll make up a story. He asks that Sonny do right by his family, and Carly.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Maxie a secret, Ava wants to help Julian, and Alexis says she can’t do this.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I love how these girls always say some tragedy changed their outlook on everything, but it never happens. They’re still the same pot stirrers they were before.

Kyle picks up LisaR in her Lamborghini. Lisa says if her husband brought one home, she’d think aliens had taken over his body. Kyle talks about going to get burgers after Erika’s birthday party because they were starving. Lisa tells Kyle that her name got changed to Doritos on the phone when she tried to call. Then it changed to Cheerios. Autocorrect – always good for a laugh.

LisaV is doing some riding. In her interview, she says Ken bought her a horse when she was in her 20s and she’s loved them ever since. She talks about going to a show that’s like Cirque du Soliel for horses, and she’s getting one that’s retiring. She points out that his “winkie” is out, and tells him to put that back. No surprise, he’s beautiful. Lisa says she prefers animals to people and I’m down with that. She tells Ken about talking to LisaR at the party, and that Dorit has only seen one side of these girls.

LisaR tells Kyle how she’s come to believe you have to accept people for what they are. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV should either forgive both Eileen and LisaR or neither of them. I dunno. Doesn’t some of that depend on them?

LisaV tells Ken that Dorit seemed to enjoy herself at Erika’s party. She thinks that because she and Dorit have so many friends in common for so many years, she won’t be listening to the trash talk.

Dorit is getting ready for her own party. Her husband is putting it together all on his own. She says he’s not too good at detail though, so she consults with his party planner. She says she’s crazy until she knows everything is done. She thinks PK might be buying her a car for her birthday. She says if it’s Tiffany blue, she won’t be able to fake a smile, because that color should only be on a box with something pretty inside. I could argue that a Maserati is exactly that.

PK presents Dorit with a rose gold Bentley. She tells him he can count on her for a yes to anything for life. She goes for a test drive.

Kyle and LisaR go to the gym. Her daughter Alexia joins them. Kyle wants to spend time with her before she goes back to school in Boston. They do a rowing class.

Eileen gets hair and makeup done at the studio. The Young and the Restless is celebrating their 11,000th episode, and the cast is doing interviews about their favorite moments on the show. We flash back to Eileen’s first scene. She brings up the storyline when her character got an abortion. She says if she could do her own story arc, Ashley would be an Erika Jayne, slaying it in gay clubs. I think she has a girl crush on Erika.

Erika auditions backup dancers. Her 10th video is coming up. We see clips of her various videos, my favorite being How Many F**ks Do I Give? She’s looking for two things – can you nail the steps and are you sexy? She approaches things in an in-your-face way, and expects the same from her dancers. After some dancing, her assistant tells the dancers they can leave so the team can talk about them. They go through the resumes and photos. We see a picture of Erika when she was practically a toddler putting shows on at home. The dancers are chosen. Wardrobe is discussed. Erika is concerned about doing the splits in a bikini.

One of LisaR’s daughters is making zucchini pasta. She says she’d rather have regular pasta and I concur, although if someone else made it, I’d eat it. Lisa says her mother was not a great cook. She was big on casseroles, frozen dinners, and Jello. The girls say they think the only thing she’s ever made for them is macaroni and cheese. (Probably the Kraft kind.) Daughter Delilah has been going to casting calls in NYC. In her interview, and her sister is showing a little sibling jealousy.

Dorit’s party is being set up. I can assure you that means more than putting bowls of chips and dip out. Dorit is having an anxiety problem where her nose runs, and I’ve never heard of such a thing.

The guests begin to arrive, taken to the front door in golf carts. LisaV thinks it seems sedate, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. She talks to some soccer player who I have no clue about. Dorit makes her entrance, and is also hoping there’s more to the party than just having drinks in the living room. Lisa compliments her on losing the baby weight. She talks to Dorit about Erika’s party. Dorit thinks all the women were cool, but in her interview, Lisa says she thought Eileen was pretty cold to her and I agree.

Kyle and Mauricio arrive. Everyone compliments each other on how good they look. LisaR tells Dorit they’re practically neighbors. LisaV keeps throwing shade at LisaR, but LisaR thinks it’s progress. At least they’re communicating. In her interview, LisaV says she likes it when LisaR isn’t calling her a manipulative bitch. She tells Kyle she gave them the power to cause her pain, but now she’s taking it back. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t think Lisa ever gave anything away she didn’t want to.

Eileen thinks it seems strange for what happened between her and LisaV to just disappear. She says she’s trying to figure out how to be okay. She’s sure LisaR is too, but their approaches are different. She and LisaV make small talk, and it’s extremely awkward. Lisa says she sorry about Eileen’s father passing away, and Eileen starts laughing because she though Lisa was going to apologize for causing her angst last season. Please. Let it go already. How many sorrys does she want?

Kyle asks if Boy George is coming by, but Dorit says he’s on tour. Kyle is disappointed since she wanted to borrow some eyeliner. Erika shows up in a T-shirt, and in her interview, Dorit says the invite said “stunning.” In her interview, Erika points out that her T-shirt dress came straight off the runway. Well, it might have, but it did look dowdy next to the gowns. She looked like she was going to a totally different party. She gives Dorit a Chanel cosmetic bag that she wanted for herself, but they only had one. Everybody mingles.

Eileen tells LisaV when she offered condolences, she thought she was apologizing again. Lisa asks if she’s mad, meaning out of her mind. In her interview, Eileen says she doesn’t want any misunderstandings. In her interview, Lisa says hell would freeze over before she apologized again. Kyle thinks Lisa can be a little rude.

Dorit’s parents introduce themselves around. PK makes an announcement. He says anyone who knows them, knows they don’t do low key or boring. He welcomes them to Dorit’s Buddha Lamp.

He opens the door to a sort of disco. It has a sushi bar and all kinds of lighting effects. Dorit wonders how on earth PK was able to create this in their backyard. Erika says he did well – smoke, lights, ice sculptures, she’s down. There’s a wall of red roses that says happy birthday. LisaV says she knew something big was going on. Dorit is thrilled and says she couldn’t have done it better. The two Lisas dance with Kyle. In her interview, LisaR says she’s never going to get an apology, so she’s done the forgiving and she can move on. She apologizes to LisaV for being hard her, and LisaV is pretty shocked. She says it gives her hope for the future.

Erika is having water because she has a stomach bug. Great. Thanks for telling us after we’ve kissed you, hugged you, and shook your hand. She’s like that person who says they’re sick just as the elevator door closes. Everyone mingles, eats, drinks, dances and has a wonderful time. PK talks about his wasted youth. In her interview, LisaV talks about being glad they have mutual friends there, because sometimes her British humor gets her in trouble.

Eileen is talking with Dorit, and LisaV joins them. Eileen suddenly wonders where her husband is, and Lisa jokes that he’s in the corner with a woman, which doesn’t exactly endear her to Eileen. PK asks everyone to come out to the dance floor. He brings over a throne and has Dorit sit in it. He tells everyone that she’s the reason for his strength. He gets all teary and praises her, and everyone laps it up. She runs up on stage and hugs him. In her interview she says he outdid himself and has a beautiful way of showing his love to her. I’m definitely impressed.

LisaR thinks this is as good as it’s going to get with LisaV, and hopes that it’s closure and they move on. Eileen tells them about LisaV’s joke. In her interview, Eileen says she can take a joke, but also has an idea of who Lisa is, and thinks her British humor is a little loaded. Dorit jokes that she guesses that she’s not having a cake this year. Although there’s probably a two-story, gold-leafed cake hiding behind the neighbor’s house.

Next time, Harrison goes jewelry shopping, LisaR’s daughters teach her about dating apps, and Eileen says good-by to the family home.

A note on Ladies of London. Marissa’s baby is back in the hospital, so she missed the field trip to Mapperton. This means she also missed Julie telling us all about how the sandwich came to be named, and also that the Sandwich Islands in Hawaii are a tribute to the Earl of sandwich. Caroline #1 continues to be a rude, self-absorbed a-hole, or as Juliet put it, she’s turned into Madonna. She acts like a five-year-old during their time at the estate, not only arriving there three hours late, but being over an hour late to dinner. Unfortunately, Caroline #2 is feeling the repercussions of what she let slip to the press about her father’s illness, and his wife (of which there have been many) is being really nasty to her. This is a shame, since she seems like a sensitive human being. Next time, Caroline #1 continues to spread her lack of good cheer. Hopefully, three ghosts will visit her on Christmas Eve. 🎄

December 12, 2016 – Surprises Abound in Port Charles & Sadness Falls on PUMP

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason starts to tells Sonny about what he and Curtis found out. Sonny says sorry, he’s distracted. Jason asks if he wants to tell him why.

Nell sees Tom at the bar. He tells her he’d like to take her picture some time. She tells him it’s not gonna happen, so turn around and get lost. She says she knows a loser when she sees one, and to get out before she calls security. As he’s leaving, he gets a call from Kiki. She says she was thinking about his offer of taking pictures, and asks if it still stands. She says she’d like to take him up on it.

Elizabeth talks to herself. Griff asks if she wants to talk to another human being.

Nina finds Dillon in the office. He’s delaying his attendance to the gala. She says time is precious, and if he doesn’t like doing something, he should skip it. She tells him, do what you want with whoever you want, because one day you’re down, and the next you’re on top of the world. She asks him if he sees a change. She’s been sexed up.

Valentin says Lulu figured it out, so let him confirm it. He and Lulu are Charlotte’s parents. Dante shoves him up against the wall. Geez. You’re welcome.

Nina says up down all around, and Dillon says she doesn’t have to go into detail. She says she hasn’t felt this great in a long time and he gives in, telling her she looks great. She says it’s nice to know someone has her back, since Nathan doesn’t. He asks if she told her brother, and she says it wasn’t like she broadcast it, he practically walked in on them. She says she has to hear about their sex life from Maxie, but too bad she doesn’t agree with Nina’s taste in men.

Valentin says he did nothing and is as much a victim as Lulu is.

Sonny asks Jason what he has. He explains how Curtis got involved, and how he wants to find out the truth. He says they got an ID on the guy who planted the bomb. He tells Sonny about rooting through the dumpsters, but Sonny isn’t listening; he’s flashing back to Nell. Jason says he’s sending the stuff to a lab, and asks if Sonny is hearing him, and if it’s about Nell.

Michael apologizes to Nell for being late. He promises the gala won’t be painful, but she says she has to bail.

Griff asks if things have blown over with Tom, and Elizabeth says it’s copacetic. He asks what about Franco, and she says with him, it’s never enough

Tom asks Kiki when she wants to get together. She suggests tonight. She has a friend who’s a painter and she can use his art studio. Tom tries to get her to come to his place, but Kiki makes it sound private and attractive, and he says he’s on his way. She tells Franco she’s good, and he says she’s excellent. He promises there won’t be any violence, just talking. Kiki says she’s staying there to make sure of it.

Dillon is surprised that Valentin is Nina’s new guy. He says some people don’t think he has a good reputation. Nina says some people think he doesn’t either. Dillon says he hasn’t been arrested for murder. Nina says she was, and was proven innocent. She asks if he’s even met Valentin. She tells him he shouldn’t judge someone by their family history, so don’t jump to conclusions. He says okay, but it’s exhausting defending someone you love. Nina says if defending someone you love exhausts you, you’re doing something wrong.

Lulu tells Valentin that he’s getting no sympathy – he kept her daughter from her for years. He says Stavros and Mikkos were monsters. He doesn’t regret his daughter, but he was used like she was. It was all Helena’s doing.

Nina tells Dillon that she’s not taking relationship advice from him, and asks when was the last time he had a date. He says he’s too busy to date. She says she understands, but she likes to be busy. He suggests some delegation, and she says she’ll look into an assistant after the holidays. He says he knows someone who will be perfect.

Franco tells Kiki that Elizabeth has made it clear she doesn’t want violence. He just wants to impress upon Tom that’s it’s better if he seeks fame and fortune away from Port Charles. He says she’s welcome to stay, but it stays between them. She says if he’s worried about Elizabeth’s disapproval, maybe he shouldn’t do it. He says he wants to protect Elizabeth’s privacy. Dillon calls and asks Kiki to meet him at Crimson. She tells Franco she thinks he has it under control. She promises not to say anything, but he has to promise not to do anything stupid. He says it’s all about moving forward.

Nell is worried that Michael is wearing black tie and she isn’t. He says it’s not a big deal, but she says not for him – he belongs to one of the most powerful families in Port Charles. She says next time give her advance notice, so she can save up for a ballgown and not ditch him. He asks her to give him ten minutes.

Sonny says he doesn’t want Jason involved. He can’t help him with this. He says it has nothing to do with Morgan; it has to do with Carly. Jason is like, no. Sonny says he’s Carly’s best friend and he doesn’t want to put him in a position. Jason says he’s already there, and asks if it’s still going on. Sonny says it was just once; he was crazy, thinking about Jax being with Carly, and he really doesn’t remember. Jason thinks he has to tell Carly.

Michael comes back with a Hawaiian shirt under his tux jacket, and flip-flops. He says it will be hard to dance in them, but he’ll give it a try. They leave for the gala. I just have to say it. They keep trying with Michael, and keep pairing him with different women, hoping there will be chemistry. It’s not the women; it’s him. Whatever it is, it’s just not there.

Dillon steers Kiki to Nina’s office. He thinks they should talk about her being Nina’s assistant. He explains what the job would entail. Nina says she doesn’t have to answer now. She has to leave and they’ll talk when she gets back. Dillon asks if Kiki wants the job, and she says no.

Maxie tells Valnetin, sure, let’s blame the person who’s dead and can’t deny it. Valentin says Stavros couldn’t have children, so Helena had to change plans. He says Daphne seduced him, kept a sample, and took it to Helena. She drugged him, and by the time he realized what happened, it was done. Nathan asks what about Claudette.

Griff says in all fairness, Franco was trying to protect Elizabeth. She says she doesn’t need protecting. She doesn’t need anyone fighting her battles.

Tom goes to the studio and sees a crazy-looking painting of himself. Franco asks if he likes it, then jumps him. So much for no violence. He knocks Tom out.

Valentin says he was appalled and furious when he found out. He stole the embryo before Helena could have it implanted. Lulu said he could have come to her. He says he just wanted to be with his daughter, so he recruited Claudette. She took advantage of his legal problems and took Charlotte. Nathan says she just wanted to protect Charlotte. Valentin says she had no right. Lulu is Charlotte’s mother, and now she’s free to be.

Sonny tells Jason that he and Carly are just getting above water, and now this. Jason says people do crazy things, but they love each other and will come back from it. Sonny says she won’t understand; he barely understands. He says she came by the other day and he thought there was a chance of them getting back together, but if he tells her he slept with her assistant, it will be over.

Michael and Nell joke on the balcony at the gala. Nell tells him it’s an uptight people he runs with. He says they’re not his people, and she must be used to boring events being a teacher. They talk about Josslyn, and Michael wonders how Nell can stand being around his family. He wonders if a part of her resents and blames them.

Kiki doesn’t think it’s a good idea that she and Dillon work together. Dillon says being Nina’s assistant would be a steady paycheck until something better comes along. He says instead of accusing him of having ulterior motives, she should look at herself. She asks what that means, and he tells her that she’s punishing herself for choosing him over Morgan. Kiki slaps him. A lot of that going around.

Sonny tells Jason that Nell considers it a big mistake like he does. Jason thinks he should tell Carly, but Sonny says there’s no future if this comes out. Jason says there’s no if, eventually it will.

Nell tells Michael that there’s no resentment. She’s glad for her new life. Michael says he is too.

Kiki apologizes. He tells her good luck finding a job and walks out. Nina comes in and Kiki tells her about the argument. Nina says what does she expect. Dillon is crazy about her.

Griff says he’s never seen Elizabeth as frail and needy, and doesn’t think Franco does either. He thinks it might just be another way of Franco showing the world he’s not who he used to be.

Tom wakes up in a large dog crate. Franco is sketching him. He tells Tom not to move, so he can capture his likeness. Tom starts banging around, saying he’s going to kill Franco. Franco sprays something at him.

Dante says what Valentin did was criminal. Valentin says he saved his daughter from a miserable life under Helena’s thumb. If Lulu wants to see her, she knows where they are. He exits, stage right.

Kiki asks Nina if Dillon talks about her. Nina says of course, but even if he didn’t she has eyes. Kiki says Dillon is a great guy and if things were different… Nina says, but they’re not. She says there’s no rule book for grieving, but there comes a point where you need to move on to someone wonderful. She thinks about Valentin. Kiki says what happens if by the time the grieving is done, he’s gone. Nina says maybe your time is up.

Dillon runs into Valerie at the bar. She says she thought the gala would be fun, but she also thought she’d have a date. Dillon asks about Curtis, and she tells him that it’s over. He asks if she wants to get out of there, and she says yes.

Kiki thanks Nina for the advice. Nina’s phone rings. It’s Valentin. He asks if she’s free and she says give her an hour. He says he has to get back from the city and he’ll explain later.

Dante tells Lulu that they’re going to put Valentin away. Lulu says all she cares about is Charlotte. She has a daughter that she’s never held, kissed or said I love you to. Dante says Valentin can’t go on playing a game with her. She says she has no choice but to play along, but he picked the wrong Spencer. She’s going to win.

Nell needs Michael’s jacket, and they complain about the cold weather. She says she hasn’t forgotten why she’s here; she’ll never forget. Michael goes inside to get something.

Jason says it’s going to read in Sonny’s face and voice. He needs to get in front of it. Sonny says knowing would be worse. He’s not going to say anything, and neither is Nell, so how is anyone going to find out? Jason says there’s also him.

Michael comes back out, and Nell is gone.

Elizabeth asks Griff to cover for her. She needs to see Franco. Her life is better with him in it, and when he’s insecure, he acts out.

Tom is wearing a shock collar, and Franco tells him that this is the more humane method of training. He says it’s set for beagle, but can be set for a German Shepherd. If he argues, he’ll get a shock; if he tries to escape, he’ll get a shock; if he misbehaves, he’ll get a shock. It’s so simple even a dog can learn it, and he’s a dog. Franco tells him to speak, and says he’ll be trained in no time. Tom asks what then, and Franco says that would be telling.

Tomorrow, Michael asks Carly if she and Sonny are getting back together, Hayden is getting sicker, and Elizabeth shows up at Franco’s loft.

Vanderpump Rules

If there was ever a need for a very special Vanderpump Rules, this would be the one. The shooting in Orlando has just happened, and it coincides with Pride Day in West Hollywood.

The servers gather for a meeting with Lisa. Everyone is excited about Pride Day. Lisa will be on the bus with the British consulate. She tells them she wants the job done properly, but it’s a party atmosphere. Lisa says this is the biggest day of the year for both PUMP and SUR. Jax confirms that James isn’t allowed in the restaurants. Lisa distributes the servers’ outfits. Katie says they look like baby onesies. In her interview, she says the costumes get smaller every year, and pretty soon they’re going to be serving drinks bare-ass naked. Lala doesn’t want to try hers on since she’s not wearing underwear. Katie hopes they burn the chair she’s sitting in.

Tom tells Jax that Ariana is doing a photo shoot for her cocktail book. He thinks the book would be better if he was involved, since she just looks at it as a job and for him it’s a career. <choke> Scheana gives the guys the dirt on Lala’s married boyfriend, saying that his wife found a lot on his phone, and they have to break up now. They discuss Lala’s Range Rover, another never-ending topic, and Tom seems to think she could have won it. Scheana says she’s made up a dozen stories about how she got it. Jax says he doesn’t believe anything that comes out of Lala’s mouth. Both Tom and I sigh.

Stassi comes to SUR and tells Lala she wants to be in Katie’s station, where it’s okay to be working on your winter body. Ha-ha! Stassi meets a couple of her friends there, blonde twins from NYC. She thinks they probably clicked because they all like to drink so much. They ask Stassi if she’s ever been to the Hamptons and she hasn’t. The first weekend of the season is also Stassi’s birthday. We flash back to the horrible birthdays she’s had.

Katie and Scheana bring their drinks. Stassi says she wants to do a fun birthday trip to Montauk, but they have no clue where that is. Scheana’s vision of the Hamptons is a rich beach that New Yorkers flock to on weekends in the summer, and she pretty much hit the nail on the head. They all toast to Montauk.

Harrison! Lisa comes into SUR. Tom tells her Stassi is there and she stops by the table to say hello. She tells Stassi they do have food to go. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ariana’s business partner comes to SUR and they discuss the cocktail book. Ariana has cleared it with Lisa to take photos there before SUR opens. Tom gives more than his two cents, and basically embarrasses her. He claims he’s being motivating without being annoying, but at least recognizes he’s failing at it. Ariana’s brother comes in to take the pictures. Ariana goes behind the bar and makes cocktails. Tom thinks they should be having more fun. In her interview, Ariana says he’s jealous since he wasn’t approached for the project. Apparently, he doesn’t like it when the attention isn’t on him. When they’re finished, he says he could have done it better. Wow.

Scheana invites Brittany to Stassi’s birthday weekend, but it’s the same weekend as Ariana’s birthday. Scheana is surprised she hasn’t gotten an invite yet. Lala says they should take a private plane so they can do both things, and she can hook them up. In her interview, Katie says it sounds like a whore. Maybe so, but definitely a rich whore.

Tom and Ariana meet Lala for lunch. Tom wants to do the “hot Asian,” which is apparently a menu item, and jokes abound. They talk about the Pride parade. Lala wants to wear pasties with tassels. Tom and Ariana invite her to Ariana’s birthday. The also make plans to do NASCAR the following weekend.

Tom tells Lala what Jax said about her boyfriend. She says she doesn’t understand where the rumors are coming from. No one will tell her the name of the guy or any other information. In her interview, Lala makes a joke about sleeping with Scheana’s father. She tells Tom that she’s dating a pro football player, but won’t tell them who. Tom says he doesn’t even watch football.

The cocktail book comes up. Tom gets over-involved, and Ariana tells him to slow his roll and quit rolling his eyes. He says everyone asked why she’s doing a book and not him. She says she’s worked for ten years in the best places, and he says with a Grumpy Cat reputation. Lala says they should have an adult conversation at home about it, and Ariana says they tried that and Tom can’t do it.

The shooting in Orlando happens. Lisa is interviewed for the news. In her interview, she says it was a heinous act of terrorism against the LGBTQ community. She wonders if they should abandon the parade and show a moment of darkness, rather than celebration, and should they stand up or fear for their safety? She tells Katie it’s up to everyone what they want to do. Katie says she’s anxious, sad, and fearful. Lisa tells her not to stay for her, and Katie thinks it’s a better idea to stay home.

Peter and SUR manager Nathalie talk about the shooting. Peter is a bit freaked out, and Nathalie tells him that a guy was just picked up with some guns not far away. Lala is worried about her own ass. She says it’s a pet peeve for her when people say just carry on and not let them win. She says people are dead, so they’ve won already. She’s decided to create music with James instead. Idiot.

Katie talks to Schwartz, who remarks on the senselessness of the shooting. Tom arrives, and she tells him about her conversation with Lisa. Tom says he’d been looking forward to drinking and celebrating, and now it’s crazy. Stassi comes by with her way cute dog. They talk about the shooting. Katie says it could happen anywhere, and she shouldn’t be afraid to go outside, but she is. In her interview, Stassi says it’s put things in perspective, and they need to be together and be safe. Schwartz talks about the oppression of the gays and Tom starts crying, which makes the girls cry. Tom wonders if he should go into SUR. He’s having a hard time keeping it together.

Peter calls Lala, who hasn’t bothered to call in. He calls Tom to see if he’s going to bartend. He doesn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable, but he needs people to work.

Lisa looks beyond amazing in a red strapless satin dress and matching hat. And earrings that look like the vampire ones I got at Spirit Halloween, although I’m sure hers cost more than $7.99. She says she’s getting on the bus and standing in utter defiance of what’s happened, because today is about standing up for what they believe in.

Lisa tells the driver to get the show on the road. The parade is fabulous, and there are actually tons of people there. Lisa does the Windsor wave.

Stassi says there wouldn’t be a parade if there wasn’t Lisa on a bus, which has to be the quote of the millennium. Schwartz tries to get the group to go, and Tom says he thinks he’s going. Katie says she has a hard time focusing when she’s upset. In his interview, Tom says he understands why someone wouldn’t want to go in, but Lisa got herself there, so he thinks it’s only right that he go too.

Brittany and Jax show up for work at Brittany’s insistence. Peter is surprised. Ariana and Tom show up next. Tom says he wasn’t going to let it stop him. I love these rainbow chains they’re wearing as necklaces and want to know where I can get one. Tom says it seems petty to be arguing about a book after what happened. Brittany has a shot before starting work. We find out that a Fireball shot is $11 and watch Jax guzzling them for free.

Tom apologizes to Ariana when they’re on break. She says it didn’t help. He says he felt horrible afterwards, and doesn’t like arguing with her. He thinks he has pent up stuff about her doing the book. In his interview, he admits being jealous. He says he should have been supportive and happy for her instead of making her opportunity about him. I have to admit, that’s a pretty grown-up analysis. Ariana says it’s stupid to be fighting. She doesn’t want to use the phrase “wake-up call” when it comes to Orlando, but it is. They’re both glad they came out. No, not that kind of coming out; coming out to the festivities.

Schwartz finally shows up. Everyone is astounded. He’s glad to see the festive spirit has prevailed. He wanted to show the community some love. Hmm… that’s a tough call as to whether him staying home might have been a better choice.

Lala shows up at James’s place. She doesn’t want to think about the sadness going on around her. She asks if James knows about Ariana’s birthday. He’s sure he’ll be invited. Lala says Jax and Brittany are going to be there, so don’t be so sure. He asks why she changes the mood all the time. She says today is not the day. She just had to break up with a dude and she’s sensitive AF. She says he broke up with her, and James says he doesn’t know this stuff unless she tells him. He doesn’t even know who the guy is. In his interview, like Scheana, he says Lala tells him a different story all the time, and he doesn’t believe any of them. Lala says that he never has to go into the restaurant again, but she still has to work with the people there. She was taking it out on her boyfriend and he’s obviously over it.

Lisa arrives at PUMP. She makes a mini speech, thanking everyone for coming. She applauds their courage, especially in the face of security threats, and says this is what they do; they unite and stand defiantly in the face of a heinous act. Like a flag being dropped at the beginning of a race, she tells everyone to f-ing party.

PUMP is wild and in full swing. Tom says he’s never jumped on the bar before, but today it’s an m-f-ing priority. Ken covers his eyes before going into the restaurant. Peter tells Lisa this is the craziest Pride Day he’s every been a part of. They agree everyone came out stronger. Tom tells Lisa that he appreciates how she got on the float anyway. Jax says she has more balls than they do, and she says don’t worry, they’ll find them.

Lisa says she’s happy to have a place where the LGBTQ community feels comfortable. Today was about love and acceptance, and she’s glad she was there to celebrate with them. Everyone does happy Pride toasts.

Next time, Stassi interviews Jax on the radio (!), Lala confronts Katie, and Stassi tells Scheana to stop being an a-hole.

December 11, 2016 – Rick Comes Home & to His Senses

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

The Walking Dead

At Hilltop, Maggie surveys the land from the top of the wall. Gregory tells her that people are saying nice things about her and Sasha saving the place, but not to let it go to her head. She says it seems like it bothers him and don’t let it. He polishes an apple and she’s like, are you going to eat that? Eduardo shames Gregory into giving it to her.

Negan shaves while Carl and Judith watch. He tells them to always go against the grain. I’m not sure if he’s being philosophical or giving actual instructions.

At the Sanctuary, Daryl sneaks out of his cell.

Negan makes spaghetti sauce. Is there anything this man can’t do? Tara gives Olivia some lemonade. She tells Olivia to go home and let her take over, but Olivia says she’s fine. She told Rick that she’d watch Judith. She tells Tara to go – they’re about to set. I guess that means have dinner?

Negan is all pleased with himself while Carl sets the table.

Aaron and Rick are at a loss about crossing a lake chock full o’ zombies. There’s a canoe, but it’s full of holes. Rick tells Aaron if he wants to stay, it’s cool, but Aaron is offended by the suggestion. He says they’re both going to see it through.

Everyone is quiet around the table. Negan says he’s not waiting for Rick anymore, and Lucille is hungry, so pass the rolls…please. Lucille eats rolls? Dammit! Jeffrey Dean Morgan Negan is just too cool for school, and so good-looking and weirdly funny, that I can’t get past that and hate him like I should.

Eugene is his usual cheerful self. He watches some Saviors unloading the stuff for Negan that Spencer brought back and giving him compliments. A girl tells Eugene to get out.

On the outskirts of The Kingdom, Carol reads by the fire. Morgan is wandering around outside with his staff, and she calls to him. He offers her some apples, but she says she’s good and just wants to be left alone. He says he was trying to do that, but she called him over, why? She asks how he is, and when he says good, she tells him he can go. He says she’s going soft.

As he’s leaving, Richard comes to the door. He’s glad to see Morgan since he wants to talk to the both of them.

Rick and Aaron paddle like an Oxford rowing team. They hit a zombie clog and whack at the zombies with their makeshift oars.  The canoe is taking on water and sinking fast, but they make it to an aluminum one. A zombie pops out, but Rick manages to pike it in the head. Aaron falls overboard. This doesn’t look good. He sinks. Rick calls to him and he pops back up saying he’s okay. How’d that happen? They both get to the dock in one piece.

Daryl sneaks around. He hears someone coming and goes into a room. Hopefully, that’s not where they’re headed. It looks like a young person’s bedroom. He sees a jar of peanut butter and eats it with his fingers. He changes clothes. He sees some toy soldiers and ponders them. Daryl finishes the peanut butter and takes something he can use as a weapon.

Rick and Aaron go through the house on the other side of the lake. Aaron finds a drawing of a middle finger and says the homeowner was a sore loser. Rick says it looks like the only thing he ran out of was ammo. He tells Aaron that he didn’t mean to imply that he couldn’t do it, but he wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to. Aaron says all they’re doing is keeping people living. Rick says Michonne doesn’t think it’s living. Aaron gets that, especially after the way they lived before, but says either your hearts are beating or they’re not; they take what they’re given so they can live.

Someone watches them from the opposite shore.

Still in the car she jacked in the last episode, Michonne asks the woman how long she’s been with Negan and why she was out there alone. The woman remains silent. Michonne says the woman doesn’t know her. She says she’s not going to kill him today; she’s going to find a way that they win. She’s going to change things for her, and that’s why she’s alone.

Maggie brings Enid and Sasha a pie.  Jesus has given Sasha some knives. He left earlier, but Sasha forgot to tell Maggie. Maggie scarfs down pie and leaves. Enid asks why Sasha lied; she knows that Jesus left yesterday. Sasha says it’s for her own good. She needs to do something and Maggie will want to help. She says if there were more people, she wouldn’t feel so responsible. Enid says she’s not the only one who wants to take Negan out. Sasha says they have to keep Maggie safe. Enid says it’s not just her being proactive, but Sasha says it feels like it.

Richard tells Carol and Morgan about all the communities and camps that are gone, but then he found Ezekiel. He thinks they’re under threat from the Saviors. He says they recognized Ezekiel’s abilities, but he didn’t want to fight. In exchange for supplies, they said they’d leave The Kingdom alone. He says sooner or later something will go wrong, or maybe Negan will just decide to stop honoring the deal. When that happens, The Kingdom will fall. Richard says that he had a family he lost to this world, and he’s scared if they don’t do something now, they’ll lose everything. He knows what the Saviors are and what they do and that they can’t be trusted.

Morgan wants to know what Richard is asking. He wants to convince Ezekiel to attack the Saviors first and destroy them.

In the church, Father Gabriel asks Rosita if the bullet is for her or Negan, and she says Negan. He says if he dies, she will too. He tells her there’s no need to lie if it’s their last conversation. She says if Abe was alive they could fight. If Glenn was alive, Maggie would have a father. She lists why it’s important for each person to stay alive, except for herself. He asks about Sasha. He tells her it shouldn’t have to be her or anyone. They’ll win, but they need to wait for the right moment or create it together, and she’s a part of that together. He asks her not to do this. They need her. Tears slip down her cheeks. He puts a hand on her shoulder and leaves her in the church.

Daryl is sneaking around again. He sees a room where guys are playing poker.

Richard explains to Carol and Morgan that the element of surprise is their only hope. They need to do it now before it’s too late. He thinks Carol has never fought, but Morgan corrects that perception. Carol tells them that she doesn’t want to be a part of it. Richard says she just has to convince Ezekiel. She says she wants nothing to do with their lives or their deaths; she just wants to be left alone.

Morgan says he’s only taken a life to save a life. Richard says he’ll have to choose one day, so choose now before it’s too late. He says their blood will be on his hands, but maybe they’re both used to that. Ouch. He leaves, and Carol says Morgan should go too. She says if he sees anyone they know, please tell them she’s gone.

Spencer sees everything trashed in his house. He practices saying “hi” in the mirror. Wha…?

Richard knocks down a no camping sign, and goes into a trailer in the forest. He looks at some bottles and cries. He sits on the floor bummed out. I have no idea if the bottles are significant or not.

Spencer walks past Rosita sitting on the porch, and she asks if he has a hot date. He says he thought they had something good, or at least the beginning. He asks why she ended it, and why she even started it. She says he’s cute, tall, and sometimes sweet, and she used him. Nice. Although at least she’s honest. She apologizes, and he asks if she’d like to meet for dinner, no strings. She says okay.

Sneakin’-around-Daryl gets outside. He goes over to a row of bikes. Fat Joey asks if he needs help. He sees Daryl has a weapon, and tells him he can just walk out. He says he’s just trying to get by like him. Daryl beats him to a bloody pulp. Jesus comes along and is like, wtf, Daryl? Daryl sees that Fat Joey had Rick’s gun and takes it. He tells Jesus it ain’t about just getting by, it’s about getting it all. He says he has the key, so lets’ go.

Spencer goes to Rick’s house. He introduces himself to Negan and gives him some good liquor.

The carjacked woman stops the car and looks out to a  compound inhabited by the Saviors. She says that’s Negan. They’re all Negan. Michonne says, whatever she’s trying to do, she can’t. The woman tells Michonne that she should go home and make the car disappear. Michonne shoots her in the head and turns the car around. Kind of harsh.

Rick gets back to Alexandria. The guard says Negan is in his house waiting for him. Another guy tells him they’ve been waiting for hours and wants to have a look at the goods first.

Negan and Spencer have a drink. Negan says he’s getting himself a vacation in Alexandria. He says nothing better than a game of eight-ball, and Spencer says there’s a table in the garage. Negan says it’s too nice a day to be cooped up though, and has a better idea.

Rick’s truck is unloaded. The note they’d found is in with the stuff. Along with the middle finger, it says, congrats on winning, but you still lose. The guard questions Spencer about the note, thinking it was meant for them, and Spencer says they didn’t do it. Another guy punches him. He tells Rick that Negan is waiting for him, but Spencer has nowhere to be, and they beat the snot out of him.

Negan has had someone bring the pool table outside, and they begin to play. Negan tells Spencer that it’s great being with him; Rick would just be giving him the side-eye. Spencer says he gets what Negan is trying to build, even though he doesn’t agree with his methods. He’s building a network and having people contribute to the greater good. He says that Rick has a history of not playing well with others, and tells Negan about his mother being the real leader until Rick showed up, and now she’s dead. Negan says that’s the saddest story he’s ever heard, but good thing Rick isn’t in charge. Spencer says that Rick has a huge ego, and he’ll do the same thing to Negan that he did with Spencer’s mom. Negan asks what he proposes. Spencer says he can be the leader his mother was. Negan asks if he should put Spencer in charge, and Spencer says they’d all be better off.

Aaron wallows around on the ground, and the guard says point made. Rick helps Aaron up.

Negan tells Spencer that Rick clearly hates his guts, but he’s out there gathering stuff so Negan won’t hurt anyone. He’s swallowing his hate and getting sh*t done, and it takes guts. He says then there’s Spencer, waiting for Rick to be gone, so he can ask Negan to do his dirty work and take over. He asks why Spencer doesn’t kill Rick himself. Negan says Spencer has no guts and disembowels him with a very large, serrated sword. Bye-bye, Spencer. Negan says how embarrassing – he did have guts. Everyone just stands there, stunned. Negan says someone clean this mess up, but there are no volunteers. Negan asks if anyone wants to finish the game with him, but there are no takers for that either. Rosita pulls out her gun and fires.

Rick hears the shot and moves faster.

The bullet has hit Lucille. Arat takes Rosita to the ground. Negan is like, what is this? and shows them the bullet. He says it was homemade. He tells Rosita that she might be stupid, but she showed ingenuity. Arat holds a knife to Rosita’s face. Negan says Lucille’s surface isn’t going to be the same, so why should hers? Rosita says she made the bullet herself. He says it’s a shame to mess up her face, and he’ll ask again. Rosita insists it was her. He says have it her way and tells Arat to kill someone. She shoots Olivia.

Rick and Aaron run up. Rick tells Negan that they had an agreement. Negan says he’s losing his voice from all this yelling, and I wonder if it was an ad-lib. Negan tells Rick that they started the relationship on a bad a note and will never braid each other’s hair or have sleepovers, but he’s reasonable. He tells Rick what Carl tried, and says he brought him home and fed him spaghetti. He says another one of Rick’s people wanted Negan to kill Rick, and he took him out. Another one shot Lucille trying to kill him, and now Rick has one less mouth to feed. Rick tells him his sh*t’s waiting for him at the gate, so just go. Negan says as soon as he finds out who made the bullet.

Rosita again says it was her, but Eugene says it wasn’t; it was him. He starts giving the formula, and Negan says he believes him. He asks Lucille for strength. He tells Rick he’s relieving him of his bullet maker and whatever he left for him, but whatever he scavenged isn’t good enough, and he’s in a serious hole after today. Rosita cries for them to take her instead.

Negan tells Rick his kitchen is a mess and see him next time. Rick is a mess. Crane shot of Rick, the pool table, Spencer, and a whole lot of blood.

Uh-oh Spencer comes back, zombified. Rick stabs him in the head. Good riddance.

Rick is in a cell of some kind. Michonne enters. They hug. She says she found what she was looking for. She wanted to go with him and Aaron, but couldn’t; she had to go her way. When she found it, she realized that she didn’t want it to be her way, but theirs. She says there’s more of them than they thought. It’s not even close; they’re way outnumbered, but it doesn’t change the way she feels. They’re still alive. So much has happened that they shouldn’t have lived through. Despite or because of it, the both of them are still standing. They’ll stay standing, but how do they make it mean something? Michonne says that Rick once told her they’re the ones who get things done, they’re the ones who live, that’s why they have to fight. They have to fight for Judith, Carl, Hilltop, Alexandria, and all of them. They can find a way to beat them. But only if they do it together.

Rick says he knows that now. They kiss.

Maggie climbs to the top of the wall. We’re back where we began. She sees something and smiles. She calls to Sasha and Enid. The group is back. Rick tells her that she was right. She told them to get ready to fight, but he didn’t and couldn’t listen. He can now. Daryl and Jesus are with them. Sasha and Rosita smile at one another, and Daryl hugs everyone. He looks like crap. He gives Rick his gun back. Rick looks at it like he’s never seen one before.

The group walks back into Hilltop.

The stranger who had been watching Rick and Aaron sneaks in behind them.

Next February, Rick gets ready to fight; he’s sure they can beat the Saviors, and asks Ezekiel to join them. It would be really funny if Negan was afraid of cats.

 

December 9, 2016 – Charlotte’s Parents Are Revealed, Addie Fights The Man for Lucy & Some Free Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 General Hospital

Jason tells Curtis the information had better be good, since he didn’t exactly feel like meeting him.

Nell goes to Sonny’s house. She asks why he needs to see her, and he gives her the necklace she lost. She asks where he found it, and he tells her under the bed. He says if Carly had found it before he did, they’d have a big problem.

Ava tells Julian she hears congrats are in order; he’s being released. She talks about hiring nurses, and he says that won’t be necessary. She wants to hire some professionals, and remain distant and slightly amused at his condition. He tells her that he already has someone who’s perfect for the job.

Alexis puts a vodka nip in her coffee. Best. Takeout. Coffee. Ever.

Nathan tells Griff about his visit to Windemere. He wants to talk with him, thinking maybe they can come up with some more information. Griff gets a call, and says they’ll talk later. Dante tells Nathan that he can’t get ahold of Lulu.

Why isn’t Lulu using her phone? She hears me, and tells Maxie that she can’t get a signal. Maxie thinks Dr. Bellamy is either calling the cops or a total perv. Lulu says the longer they’re in there, the more nervous she’s getting, and they need to get out right now. Maxie opens the window blind and there’s a gate over the window.

On the phone, Dr. Bellamy tells Valentin what Lulu saw in the file. Valentin tells the doctor he’s going to have to clean things up sooner than he thought.

Dante thinks something is wrong. He tells Nathan that whatever the girls are doing in NYC involves Charlotte, not the wedding.

Lulu says no one has done anything to them yet. She says the doctor definitely didn’t buy her story, which means he doesn’t believe why Maxie is there either. Well, I think even if he bought Lulu’s story, he would figure Maxie’s was a ruse to get them in there. Maxie complains about having to go through two exams for nothing. Lulu thinks the doctor must be calling Valentin.

Curtis tells Jason that the footage the police have didn’t tell him anything new, but he realized there must be more footage elsewhere. He chatted up the drugstore manager and voila! He shows Jason a homeless man who probably wasn’t interviewed. Jason sees a guy go behind Julian’s car and then drop a Chinese takeout bag in a trash can. He says they have to find the bag

Sonny asks Nell if they can talk. He says he slept with her and shouldn’t have, and now they have to deal with the consequences. Nell says it’s been rough seeing Carly. She has to brace herself before going into work, so it must be worse for him. She talks about Carly and Sonny’s connection, and says most people don’t have a connection like that. She’s afraid if Carly finds out, the connection might be broken. She agrees they should keep it a secret, and swears she’s not going to hurt any of them. Sonny says he’s figured out a way to resolve the situation.

Ava asks if Julian has vetted the health care professionals he’s hiring. He says she’s been vetted. Ava is like, she not they? She says she hopes whoever it is can double as a bodyguard. Julian says he can’t wait to get out of the hospital. Ava tells him nice try, changing the subject. She says that he’s unusually calm, and she wants to know what’s going on. In the meantime, whoever ran him over is still out there, and he needs to trust the people around him. He says he does, and she tells him to spill it. He says it’s not a healthcare worker at all, but here she is now. Alexis walks in.

Griff tells Dante that Lulu seemed driven, anxious, and determined before she left. He shows Dante and Nathan a picture of Dr. Bellamy on his phone, and explains he had shown it to her. Dante and Nathan leave for NYC.

Dr. Bellamy tells Lulu and Maxie that they’re good hostages. Maxie says it’s not their first rodeo, and Lulu adds that their husbands are detectives. The doctor says she’s probably already figured out that it’s a dead spot, and tells them not to bother screaming; it will just annoy him. Maxie says he’s in trouble, and Dr. Bellamy says they’re the ones who broke in and they need to just sit tight. He leaves, and Maxie tells Lulu that it’s up to them to get themselves out. She starts picking out some surgical instruments for weapons.

Jason digs around in a dumpster. Curtis is just standing there, and Jason says he thought finding the truth was important to him, so get in the other dumpster. Curtis says the way he sees it, Julian was setting Sonny up the whole time. Jason tells him get moving.

Sonny tells Nell that she doesn’t have to deal with it anymore. He says she was working for the school system in Atlanta and even though her position was terminated, he knows people. They have a job waiting for her. He hands her an envelope and says she can start teaching at the beginning of the year and he got her a higher salary. She says he can’t let her go.

Julian tells Ava that Alexis will be taking care of him at Ava’s penthouse. Ava asks how Alexis feels about that. Alexis asks Julian for the paperwork, takes it and walks out. She gives Griff the confidentiality form, so he can tell her what she needs to know to take care of Julian. He doesn’t get it. He says she did everything to put Julian behind bars, and he was under the impression she wanted justice.

Ava tells Julian that Alexis isn’t a nurse, and even if she was, it would be a horrible choice. Ava says he tied to kill her and she tried to put him away. She says no matter how much he clings to the emotional attachment, Alexis doesn’t share it; she hates him. He says contempt is better than indifference. Ava says playing head games with Alexis should be the last thing on his list of concerns. Someone tried to kill him twice, and maybe they won’t fail the third time. All of a sudden, the light bulb comes on, and Ava knows it was Alexis who hit him.

Nell says that Sonny can’t throw her away like garbage. He says he’s not; he’s just trying to help. He thought she could get on with her life. She says she has no friends or family in Atlanta. He doesn’t see how that’s possible. She says where she lives, her qualities aren’t admired, and kindness is considered weakness. Sonny says that’s how he grew up, but Michael taught him that kindness is strength. Nell says that even if she went back, she wouldn’t be able to forget, and it would be a reminder of how she screwed up in Port Charles. She thanks him for reminding her that she has a purpose now. When she met Josslyn, she realized the worst thing that happened to her is the best thing that happened to someone else. She says eventually she’ll forget about what happened between her and Sonny. She wants to continue building her life with the people she cares about, and asks him not to send her away.

Curtis complains to Jason about Julian. He says when he got too close to the truth, Julian terminated their relationship, and no one does that to him. The cop in him wants justice, and if his mom could see him in a dumpster, she’d slap him. Jason asks him to talk less and look more. Curtis finds some old World’s Fair glasses from 1939 that are in perfect condition despite the lack of packing material, and sets them aside. Like any of us would find something that good in a dumpster. Curtis is startled by something and jumps to the top of the dumpster. Jason and I laugh.

Lulu tells Maxie to hide behind the door. She’ll scream to get the doctor in there, and Maxie can jump him. Too late, he’s in already. He says they’re free to leave the exam room, and to put the instruments down; they won’t need them. In the office, Valentin introduces himself to Maxie. He says Lulu must have a lot of questions and she smacks him across the face.

Curtis tells Jason that there was a rat the size of a Doberman. He talks about rats carrying diseases and says now he’s in a dumpster looking for months old garbage. Jason finds a Chinese takeout bag.

Ava is worried about another attempt on Julian’s life. She says he’s making Alexis do this, and they didn’t get along when she was happy with him. She says if Alexis had no qualms about killing him in a public parking lot, why wouldn’t she try in the privacy of the apartment? He says Alexis didn’t try to kill him.

Griff asks how Alexis can be willing to help Julian. She says she’ll answer when he tells her why it’s his business. He says Julian killed his father, which she can’t argue with. She says it’s an emotional situation that’s weighing heavily on her. She would appreciate someone to confide in, and asks if he’s still a priest. He says yes, and she asks if he can keep a confidence.

Sonny says he’s not making Nell do anything. Nell says she understands that he was just sparing her pain. Sonny says just forget about it then. She tells him that she has to get ready for the gala, and asks if he can get her some tea, as she feels light-headed. She promises to never tell Carly about what happened, and Sonny believes her. When he’s out of the room, she listens to what she just recorded on her phone.

The bag Jason finds contains everything you’d need to plant a bomb. Curtis thinks the fingerprints might be preserved as well because of the way it’s wrapped. This doesn’t say much for Julian’s guy, who threw everything out in the same place and in the same bag, while he was being videotaped from several different angles, and left DNA evidence. Seriously, Julian needs to rethink his mob staff.

Valentin says Lulu has every reason to be upset, but he needs to explain. Maxie says imprisoning people it getting to be a thing with him. He tells Dr. Bellamy that he must have a delivery to attend to at the hospital, and the doctor leaves. Valentin asks Lulu to be an adult, because he needs to explain things. She wonders why she should believe anything he says. He tells her that he’s never lied to her except by omission, and there was reason for that. He says it’s awkward, but here they are. He wants to tell her something, but Nathan and Dante bust in. Valentin tells them that there’s something they all deserve to know. How is it possible for these people to travel so quickly? Yesterday, Hayden made it sound like they were close to Niagara Falls.

Maxie tells Nathan that Dr. Bellamy was keeping them prisoner, and wants him to arrest Valentin. Valentin says he knew this day would come, and it’s time they knew the truth. Dante wants to know what happened.

Alexis tells Griff that she doesn’t think her daughters would understand. She doesn’t know how long she can keep it from them, but asks him not to share the information. She says Julian has done horrible things, mostly to her, and she thought she’d hate him forever. When she found out he was in the hospital, she just found herself getting involved. She says the only way she could move on was by forgiving people, including Julian. Griff understands wanting to forgive, but devoting her days to taking care of Julian doesn’t seem like something she’d do.

Julian tells Ava not to say anything, and she says what is she going to do, go to the cops? Julian says it was an accident. Ava says no it wasn’t. He says he knows Alexis is telling the truth, and let’s leave it at that. Ava thinks he’s keeping something from her.

Nell thanks Sonny for the tea, and for finding the necklace. They make small talk. He says he knows what it’s like to fight for your place in the world, and he’s not standing in her way. She takes his hand and promises to stay quiet. Jason walks in. Because he never knocks.

Jason apologizes for barging in. Nell says she’s on her way to meet Michael anyway, and excuses herself. Jason tells Sonny about the security footage. Sonny isn’t paying attention, and Jason asks what he’s missing.

Alexis says she’s sorry that Griff doesn’t’ understand, but he doesn’t have to. He says she’s right, and goes to sign the forms.

Ava doesn’t see how any good can come of this. Julian says he knows what he’s doing and everything will be crystal clear.

Valentin says it’s no secret that Claudette lied about who Charlotte’s father was, but she lied about something else – that she was Charlotte’s mother. He confirms for Lulu that the both of them are Charlotte’s parents.

On Monday, Jason asks Sonny what’s going on, Kiki asks if the offer still stands, and Dillon is shocked about Nina’s new boyfriend. Nina is now consistently calling Valentin her boyfriend, but I find that word odd sounding once you’re past college age. Although I don’t know what other term to use. Significant other sounds clinical. We have to come up with something else.

Z Nation

Addie continues on Lucy’s trail. She sneaks around a marina, hearing laughter somewhere. She sees Lucy playing with a bunch of zombies. She’s also lighting matches near a gas pump. Addie reveals herself, and stomps out a match. Lucy is glad to see her, and shows her how she can play patty-cake with one of the zombies. She says the zombie thinks Addie is her mom. She’s obviously got a connection to them like Murphy does.

Addie asks Lucy where The Man is. Addie tells her that they have to go before The Man gets back, but Lucy says she likes her new friends. Addie says she’ll pike them if Lucy doesn’t get a move on, and Lucy agrees to leave. The Man comes out of nowhere, and says no one is going anywhere. He cracks Addie in the face with a gas can, and she whacks him with her spiked thing. Lucy screams and it carries into the next county.

The Man starts shooting the zombies. He loses his gun and faces Addie. Lucy screams again.

The Man grabs what looks like a metal oar, and they duel, but a zombie comes up behind him. He dispatches it, and then Addie has the same problem. The Man gets her weapon away. He says if she lets Lucy go now, he won’t kill her. Lucy throws a match and some gas is lit on fire. She tells Addie to run, and takes off herself. Addie picks up her weapon and follows. The man walks through the fire after them.

Lucy calls to Addie. The Man follows like Yul Brynner in Westworld, slow and steady, whacking zombies along the way. A zombie pops out of a boat and Addie kills it. The Man tells her she could make things easier and just walk away. She says she could say the same thing for him, and it’s got to do with saving humanity. He asks what humanity has done for her. She says more than some rich a-holes from Zona, and asks what they’ve done for him and why he doesn’t quit. He says everyone has a job to do.

The zombies are accumulating, and Addie gets on one of the boats. Lucy finds an arm and takes a bite. The Man tells her not to eat garbage off the ground. He grabs her and drives away as she screams for Addie.

The fire travels along a rope to the boat. Addie is trapped. The boat starts to fill with smoke, and zombies are gathering. Addie punches out a window and jumps out. The boat explodes as she runs down the pier. She finds her bike, but it’s wrecked. She sees another boat and has an idea. She goes inside and looks for tools, grabbing some liquor too, and eating a piece of discovered chocolate. She goes back out to the bike and tinkers with it. She sees a disembodied arm crawling. Lucy is apparently making the hand point in the direction she’s going in.

Lucy tells The Man he can’t tell her what to do; he’s not her dad. She says they all hate him. She lists their names, and he says he doesn’t know them. She says he killed them, and they’re going to eat him. She sing-songs, you’re gonna die; they’re gonna eat you, and he yells at her to sit down and shut up. She says he can’t make her; she’s a magical princess. He slams into a zombie on the road which distresses Lucy. She sings again, and he runs another one down. After the third time, she says she’ll promise to be quiet. She does that I’m-locking-my-lips gesture and he pretends to take the key.

Addie gets the bike going again and heads north, the direction the arm is pointing. She sees the car in the distance and goes through the forest. The Man sees two cars blocking the road. Were those there or is Addie that fast? The Man gets out, drawing his gun. Someone shoots him. Addie comes out and kicks the gun away from his body. I guess she is that fast. She gets in the car. Lucy tells her The Man is mean. Addie asks which way he was taking her; they’re going to go in the opposite direction. As soon as they’re gone, The Man’s hand twitches.

Doc follows Addie’s trail. She’s left him a message scrawled on the boathouse. He sees the arm and figures it’s talking to him. It points. He says Lucy is a genius, and when a zombie arm tells you to go north, go north.

Addie takes Lucy shopping. She sees no reason Lucy can’t be stylish, and tells her no jumpsuits or overalls. Lucy sees a bra, and Addie tells her it’s a medieval torture device, and explains what it’s for. Lucy asks if her mom wore one, and Addie says probably. Lucy says her mom was a warrior queen, but left her. Addie says she sacrificed herself – she died so Lucy could live. Lucy asks if she’s dead dead and Addie says yes; she was there. Lucy says she doesn’t know everything. Her mom was special, and her dad wouldn’t let her die. As Lucy gets agitated, so do the zombies wandering around. Lucy tells Addie to leave her alone, because she’s suddenly a tween.

The Man comes to. The bullet hasn’t gone all the way into him, and he pulls it out of his chest.

Addie tells Lucy they have to go. Lucy says she wants her mom. Addie says she’s old enough to understand that people die. The more you love them the more likely they are to bite it unexpectedly. Lucy says her father would have saved her mom, but Addie says there were too many zombies even for him. Lucy asks how her mom saved her. Addie says she killed a lot of zombies who were after her. Lucy asks why they always have to kill. Addie says they’re not like her, and if they don’t kill the zombies, the zombies will kill them. Lucy says the zombies just don’t know any better. Addie says they don’t know anything. It’s just a dead body and a virus keeping it going.

Lucy gets into the zombies’ heads, and tells Addie their names. Uh-oh. The Man is suddenly there.

The Man takes Lucy outside, but she takes off running. Addie follows them. Lucy runs to a creek. Addie almost gets the man with her weapon, but he smacks it out of her hand as well as her gun. They fist fight. The Man knocks Addie out. Lucy picks up a rock and throws it at him. Addie recovers and jumps on his back. He twists her arm behind her back and dislocates her shoulder. She grabs him with the other arm. He drags her to the water and tries to drown her. Lucy says she’ll go. Addie stops moving, but I don’t think she’s dead. The Man scoops Lucy up.

Back at the car, The Man tells Lucy to be quiet or he’ll shut her mouth for her, and binds her wrists with duct tape. They drive away. Lucy tells The Man she’s in pain. She smacks him and he stops the car. She breaks the bonds around her wrists. She’s a teenager now, and jumps into the front seat. The Man is like, oh no, a teen, and she starts crying. I think she has PMS. She gets out and he follows. She wants chocolate. Yep, PMS. He tries to grab her, and she tries to bite him. She says she needs chocolate. The zombies start growling and he says, fine. He piggybacks her, and she says next time just do what she says.

Doc bicycles along. He sees a car leaving a trail of fire. It’s a DeLorean. Another Doc and 10K get out, like Marty McFly and Doc in Back to the Future. Future Doc tells real Doc to get in. Doc asks if it won’t mess up the time continuum, and the car disappears. He pulls a joint out of his pocket and smells it.

Addie wakes up on the rocks and sees a zombie. She can’t move very fast, but luckily, neither can he. She gets up and moves along the rocks into the forest. Another zombie joins him, but Addie is having a hard time getting it together. She whacks them both, but nearly faints from shoulder pain.

The Man takes Lucy to a general store and looks for chocolate. She asks what’s wrong with him that he can’t find it. He tells her that it’s the apocalypse and not many treats are left. She says it’s not a treat, it’s medicine; that’s what Addie told her. He tells her to keep the zombies back, and she laughs because he’s afraid of them. All of a sudden, she  says she’s bleeding and dying. She gets up, leaving a blue puddle, and gets hysterical. The Man tells her to stop screaming. He says she’s just growing up. He says she’s fine, and they’ll get her chocolate somewhere else.

Lucy tells him to go. The zombies look at him in a threatening manner, and she tells him to go now.

Addie gets up. She slams her shoulder into a tree to reset it. I feel her pain.

The Man says Lucy is his responsibility, and he’s not leaving without her. He says he’ll kill her friends, and she tells him they’re ready to die for her. She bites one of them and tells The Man not to follow her. She walks out and he’s left with the rest of the zombies.

Addie moves along the creek.

Lucy gets in the car. The zombie stands next to the car, telepathically telling her how to drive. She takes off. The Man comes out to see her drive away. He calls to her and stands in her pathway. She says let’s see how you like it, and runs him down.

Addie is back at her bike, but hears a car and hides. Lucy pulls over. She tells Addie that was awesome. She says that her friends helped her get away. The Man grabs Lucy from under the truck. I say oh sh*t! out loud. Addie tells him not to hurt her; she’s too valuable. The Man says Addie isn’t, and he’ll kill her next time, no matter how much Lucy cries. He drives off with Lucy.

Addie is a mess, but gets back on the bike. It won’t start. She scratchess DXD with an arrow into it. A car comes by and she flags it down. She puts down her weapon, acting like she’s harmless, but draws her gun and says it’s an emergency. The woman says screw you, and tries to grab her own gun, but Addie is faster and pulls her out of the car. She says nothing personal, just the survival of humanity, and drives away. The woman chases the car. Addie sees a little girl in the back seat. She tells her she can’t go where Addie is going, and her mommy will find her. She leaves the girl on the road with the gun.  The little girl immediately shoots a zombie. Her mother comes running to her, but the girl looks nonplussed.

Addie sees Doc. She stops the car and gets out. They look at one another, saying nothing. They both get in the car. The poor zombie from the store stumbles up the road.

Next time, a hitchhiking zombie and Murphy is out to kill The Man.

Quotes of the Week

I love walking in your front door. It gives me a moment in my gown. — Porsha to Phaedra on The Real Housewives of Atlanta – please note that this was at midday

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you do read it, you’re misinformed.Denzel Washington

If God sends you on stony paths, He will provide you with strong shoes.Alexander McLaren

 

December 8, 2016 – The Soap Stands Alone

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Elizabeth is overwhelmed with the kids at the skating rink. Franco sits next to her on a bench. He gives her some pepper spray, a whistle and flashlight in case she runs into Tom again, which he says is bound to happen. I get the pepper spray and whistle, but a flashlight?  What is she supposed to do with it? Shine it in his eyes to blind him? Use it as a spotlight and force him to  tap? Not to mention, she has one on her phone. She was using it the day the power went out at the hospital and Paul attacked her.

Kiki is on the phone outside of Kelly’s telling someone good luck finding a nanny for their twins at the salary they’re offering. Tom sees her and says he notices she’s looking for a job too. He tells her welcome to the club.

It’s time to lay the wreaths at the Quartermaine family crypt, and Monica talks about those who have passed. Dillon says it must be weird seeing Tom Baker after what he did to Emily. Monica says you never think of them eventually being paroled and free, and I wonder why she wasn’t involved with a victim statement since Elizabeth was, even though the crime had nothing to do with Tom raping her. I realize I’m being picky today, but I feel deserving, having watched the show for literally 50 years. Finn runs up wondering where Hayden is.

Valentin talks to Charlotte on the phone. He hopes she had fun on her overnight with Mrs. Evans. He says the storm brought a fun night for poppa. I’ll bet.

Maxie an Lulu go to Dr. Bellamy’s office, the OB/GYN that’s on Charlotte’s birth certificate. Maxie still can’t believe Claudette jerked everyone around about who the father was, when all along she was a surrogate. Lulu says that’s if her theory is correct. She thanks Maxie for helping her and not telling Dante. A nurse comes in, and Maxie explains that she has an appointment.

Dante tells Nathan about Lulu’s theory, and thinks she’s not going to let it go, so he’s going to investigate. He also talked to the Canadian authorities again, who said if there’s no sign of life soon, they’re declaring Claudette officially dead. I can’t imagine it’s that much different in Canada than it is here, where it takes seven years.

Valentin tells Nina that he loved this morning .She knows who he is, but she’s still there. She says the storm kept her there, but on some level she has to trust him or she wouldn’t have stayed. She says he’s no longer a stranger, and that makes what’s between them more serious He’s good with that, and asks if she is.

Tracy tells Finn that she saw Hayden earlier, and she looked pale, but seemed fine. Finn says that when Hayden gets scared, she runs, but Tracy won’t fault her for that. He says there are serious implications; she’s as sick as she’s ever been, and it’s going to get worse.

Elizabeth tells Franco that he escalated the situation with Tom. She says Tom won’t be working at the hospital again, but Franco says he’s a dangerous predator and won’t stop. Elizabeth adds, until Franco kills him.

Kiki tells Tom that he’s deserving of a job, since he returned her wallet. Not that there was anything in it. Ha-ha! I always say if anyone picks my pocket, they’ll be very disappointed. Tom says he’d never steal, but does have something to ask in return, and asks her name. They introduce themselves. She tells him good luck, and he asks if she’s a model.She asks if that line works, and he tells her that he’s a professional photographer. He says he’d love to photograph her, and maybe they can both get employment.

Franco tells Elizabeth that if he killed Tom, he’d go to prison and never see her. He says he knows she doesn’t like him talking like that, and apologizes. He says he can’t stop thinking about how much he cares about her. She says it scares her when he’s violent, and he promises not to do it again. She wants to believe him, and he asks her to promise to use the stuff he gave her if Tom comes after her. She promises, but she’s not going to let fear get in the way of her living her life. Franco says he respects that, and leaves while Elizabeth gathers up the boys. She sees Hayden on a bench and asks if she’s okay.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s being cautious; if something is to good to be true, it is. He says most people don’t think he’s a good guy. She says they have their opinion, and she has hers. She likes him and likes being with him, but doesn’t think he’s 100% honest. He has a questionable past, but hers isn’t exactly stellar either. He says they can make a good go of this and have real relationship.

Nathan tells Dante that if the authorities are giving up, either Claudette doesn’t want to be found or Valentin killed her. Dante says he shouldn’t have brought Nathan into it, but Nathan says the least he can do is keep Valentin away from Charlotte, and asks what he can do to help with Lulu’s idea.

Dr. Bellamy comes in. Maxie says she thinks she’s two weeks pregnant. Lulu sneaks around while he does the exam. This is the darkest office I’ve ever seen and I’ve worked in some holes. Lulu goes through the files. She finds one under West, like that’s not a common name. Nope, it’s not Charlotte’s file. Lulu thinks some more, and looks under Cassadine. Nothing. But then she digs around the bottom of the drawer and finds a file labeled Baby Cassadine.

Tom says he could hook Kiki up with agents and help her with a portfolio. He writes down his number, claiming he’s waiting for business cards and says it’s not a pick up line. Seriously, he must have been in jail since the 80’s and there were no televisions there. Kiki says it’s sweet, but her friend Dillon works for Crimson, and she’d have him take any pictures. Dillon comes along, and Tom jets before he can be seen. Kiki says she’s glad he came by, because that guy was hitting on her and she didn’t know how to get rid of him. Franco is waiting around the corner, and tells Tom they’ve got to stop meeting like this.

Elizabeth tells Hayden there’s a board meeting, but Hayden says she doesn’t have to be there. Elizabeth asks if she’s sick, and Hayden blows her off. Elizabeth says they’re family and she’s concerned. Hayden tells her don’t be.

Finn tries calling Hayden, who isn’t picking up. Tracy says if she doesn’t make significant progress with the budget by Christmas, she’ll lose her job. Elizabeth calls Finn, and he says he’s on his way. He tells Tracy he doesn’t think Hayden is making the board meeting.

Valentin tells Nina that it’s rare for him to make a connection this quickly. ABC cuts in to tell us that John Glenn just died. Wow He was married for 73 years. We come back to a commercial…sigh….

Elizabeth asks Monica if Tracy is still at the board meeting. Monica says she is, and asks if she can help. Elizabeth asks if Hayden is still living with them. Monica says yes, and Elizabeth asks if she knew that Hayden had sepsis. Tracy joins them, and Monica asks what’s going on with Hayden.

Finn catches Hayden before she falls on her ice skates. He says don’t bother arguing, he’s not letting go, and tells her that once you’re on the ice, it’s actually harder. He says that Elizabeth called him and she’s worried. He asks what she’s doing. She says she made a bucket list of all the things she wanted to do, but never had the time for, because her somedays are running out.

Dante and Nathan are at Windemere. We obviously missed their arrival during the news of John Glenn‘s departure. Dante tells Valentin that a woman was found in Canada who they think might be Claudette, and she’s in critical condition. Valentin asks if there’s a photo. Nina comes out in a bathrobe and asks Nathan what he’s doing there. He asks if she spent the night with Valentin.

Lulu takes pictures of the file. Uh-oh, she drops it. Dr. Bellamy tells Maxie she’s not pregnant. She wonders how this is possible, and he tells her she might have an hysterical pregnancy. Maxie pretends to protest the hysteria diagnosis by acting hysterically. He asks the nurse if she still has a list of psychiatrists, and heads for the office. Maxie tries to get him to stay in the examining room, but he walks into the office and catches Lulu with the file.

Finn asks why Hayden didn’t tell him. She says she didn’t want him to know that she’s accepted dying. He wants to know what else she did. She tells him that yesterday, she went to Niagara Falls, and earlier saw An Affair to Remember. She explains the plot of doomed romance, and says she’s always been a fan of film noire. Once she checks ice skating off the list, she wants to go to Iceland andto walk on a glacier. Finn asks if she likes being cold, and she says she feels like she’ll never be warm again right now. He promises that she will, and puts his arm around her.

Franco tells Tom that he’ll keep his distance, but Tom needs to stay away from Elizabeth and Kiki. Tom says he doesn’t want to go back to prison, and they’re both like, good, and part ways.

Kiki asks if Dillon has talked to his father, but he says there’s nothing to say. He tells her about laying the wreaths at the family crypt, and talks about Monica’s daughter, Emily. Kiki says so many awful violent deaths, and Dillon says it’s a miracle any of them get out of bed in the morning. Kiki reminds him that they have friends who help see them through.

Nathan grills Nina, and she explains about the storm. Nathan accuses Valentin of manipulating her, but Nina says she’s grown and makes her own decisions. She loves him, but he has no say in who she sleeps with. Nathan starts to say something about Nicholas, but she interrupts, saying that information came from Ava. She says no one manipulated her. She likes being with Valentin, and will be with him again. Valentin says that the visit over and to bring a warrant next time. They leave. Nina asks why they were here. Valentin says they just want to get under his skin, but he’s glad, because she defended him. They kiss.

Dr. Bellamy tells Lulu that the records are private. She makes up a story about her husband cheating on her with her cousin, and the doctor says it sounds like something more appropriate for Jerry Springer. Lulu tells him that she found his business card in her husband’s pocket, and wanted to know if Valerie was pregnant. The nurse comes out, and Dr. Bellamy sends her to hospital to prep a patient. Lulu says thanks for understanding and they’re out of there. She tells Maxie what happened, and says let’s go before the doctor changes his mind. The door locks and Maxie says that’s not good; the doctor must have changed his mind. It’s one of those flimsy old push button locks though. I could break out of there.

Dillon thanks Kiki for being such a good friend. She has an interview with a nanny agency and he thinks it would be a good fit. He tells her to stay away from Tom, and if she wants, he can be a bad-ass bodyguard. Kiki goes outside and sees Franco. She wonders where he’s been lately. He tells her about Tom, but she says Dillon beat him to it. He says Tom has been hanging around Elizabeth, and he wants the women of Port Charles to be safe, but needs her help. Kiki says she was challenged by Dillon to find her passion, and protecting the women of Port Charles sounds like something she can get behind.

Tracy explains to Elizabeth and Monica about Finn and Hayden’s illness. Elizabeth says she knew they were hiding something, but didn’t know it was so serious. She’d hoped one day that she and Hayden could treat each other like the real sisters they are. This is a surprise to Monica, who says she has to apologize to Amy 2, since the gossip she was spreading was actually true. Elizabeth calls Jeff, telling him that his daughter needs him; she’s dying.

Back on her feet, Hayden tells Finn that it’s now or never for them – literally. Suddenly, she collapses.

Nathan apologizes to Dante for going off about Nina. Dante says if it was his sister he would have done the same thing. He tells Nathan that he knows someone else who might have answers.

Lulu looks at the documents on her phone, and tells Maxie that Valentin is Charlotte’s father, but Claudette was a surrogate. Maxie says she could totally be Charlotte’s mom. They’re sure the doctor has called the police, but Lulu says Dante and Nathan can smooth it over, and the doctor will never know.

Nina has to go – much kissing at the door – and Valentin takes a call. Dr. Bellamy tells him about Lulu and Maxie, and asks what he should he do. Valentin says it depends how much they know.

Tomorrow, Ava asks Julian what’s going on, Valentin needs to clean things up, and Jason tells Curtis that the information had better be good.

December 7, 2016 – Lulu Can’t Get Charlotte Off Her Mind & Hairspray Live! Can’t Stop the Beat

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie noses around on Nathan’s laptop, trying to find out what her wedding gift is, but he catches her. He tells her it’s not a surprise if she keeps snooping. She claims she was setting up something with a dance lesson, and says they need practice before the wedding. He says, let’s dance.

At Kelly’s, Jason tells Sam that Julian is the one who set up the bomb hoping that Sonny would get the blame. Curtis adds that it’s speculation, and they don’t have much in the way of proof. Pete was killed before they could talk to him. He thinks they should combine resources. Jason says they’ve already told him everything. Curtis thinks maybe they should go to the cops.

Jordan asks the mayor if she wants things fast or right. She says if anything unusual comes up, she’ll call. Another call comes in. She sees that it’s Andre.

Andre tries to call Jordan. Anna comes to his office asking for his help.

The doorbell rings at Windemere. Valentin answers. It’s Nina. Shouldn’t he have someone to answer the door for him? And aren’t there guards or bouncers or something? Valentin shows Nina the Christmas tree, which of course is fabulous. Charlotte is out at a movie, while Valentin and the staff decorate.

Lulu is in the hallway, pondering. She tells Dante she can’t stop thinking about Charlotte. She says when she looked at her, she felt a connection.

Curtis says the police have access to information and resources that they don’t. Jason is afraid they won’t admit they’re wrong, since they’ve been after Sonny for a long time. Sam agrees and doesn’t think they should trust the cops. Curtis wants to talk to Jordan, but Jason asks him to wait. Jason and Sam leave. I think they stuck Curtis with the check.

Andre thinks he should refer Anna to someone else, considering their history. She tells him that she’s not there as a patient; she wants to consult him on a case. She needs some insight into Valentin.

Valentin asks Nina if he’s missing anything as far as the decorations go. She asks if Charlotte has a stocking, but he says she puts it up on Christmas Eve. Nina says she did too, but it was in the playroom, so that it didn’t clash with her mother’s theme for the year. There was never anything under the tree either. It wasn’t a place of love and togetherness, but a place to conduct business. She got a lot of presents bought by assistants. It was extravagant and completely empty. Valentin says he had a gift one year from the cook at school. She knitted him a scarf. He had it for years until the airline lost his bag. They both can picture each other as children. He asks her to stay for dinner, but she has to go. She tells him to have Charlotte open the gift right away. It’s an Advent calendar.

One of the staff comes to the door. The launch has been grounded because of a storm. No one can leave Spoon Island.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, she had a physical reaction and immediate need to protect her. She says she literally feels a pull toward her, like she feels toward Rocco. She asks Dante if he thinks it’s possible that Charlotte is her daughter.

Curtis goes to the station. He wants to talk to Jordan, but she wants him to leave. He says it’s purely professional, and she says he has 30 seconds. He tells her it’s about the Corrinthos case. He says they both have information that the other doesn’t, and you show me yours, and I’ll show you mine.

Jason goes with Sam to her doctor’s appointment. While they’re waiting, Sam asks what he thinks about Curtis’s idea. He says it’s a great idea, but highly doubtful it would work. He says Jordan seems honest, but he doesn’t think she’ll listen. He says at least they’re making progress, and thinks Sonny will eventually go free. They discuss moving away from Port Charles.

Lulu wonders why she’d feel so strongly about a child she’s never met. Dante says the embryo was destroyed. She says they don’t know for sure, and how do they know that Claudette is really Charlotte’s mom?

Valentin calls Charlotte who’s at the MetroCourt and going to spend the night there. I guess it’s a mall, and a hotel, and all the restaurants in town rolled into one – and there’s a movie theater! Nina says she’s leaving. She thinks Valentin is manipulating her, but he says he’s not in control of the weather. She leaves and he counts. He gets to one and she’s back inside, soaking wet.

Andre tells Anna that it isn’t a typical WSB profile, and she says she knows it’s slim. He asks what she’s looking for, and she wants to know what Valentin’s agenda is. Andre recognizes his alias, Theo Hart, as being involved in an international diamond ring. He says they were smart and connected, and just as the authorities were ready to make an arrest, they closed up shop and disappeared. Anna tells Andre what little she knows about Valentin. Andre says they can get the Bedlington transcripts, but Anna says after he left, the school burned down, and the files were lost. It was arson, and she’s sure it was him, and she intends to uncover whatever he’s hiding about his past.

Jordan asks why Curtis is still investigating. He says he wants to get to the truth. She says he’s not known for his altruism, so what’s the angle? He says if she wants Lomax off her back, he has what she needs. She gets a pair of handcuffs and cuffs him to the desk.

Nathan puts on some music. He and Maxie start to do a swing number. When Maxie goes to answer her phone, Nathan takes a spill.

Lulu thinks it’s possible that after things didn’t work out with Daphne, Helena hired Claudette instead. She says no one has investigated if she’s Charlotte’s mother. Dante says there’s proof Valentin is her father, so she’s not Stavros’s child.

Valentin gives Nina some clothing. He thinks it’s from Nicholas’s ex-fiance. He tells Nina to get dry and he’ll see about dinner.

Andre tells Anna it’s possible that it was a cover up, but Valentin could have been seeking closure and catharsis. He might have felt abandoned, and once empowered as an adult, went back to the source of his powerlessness and unhappiness. Andre thinks there’s definitely an inferiority complex going on. Anna talks about Valentin stammering when she asked about his father. She thinks there’s something missing. Andre asks what is it about Valentin and why is the case giving her so much trouble?

Anna says she’s unsettled that Valentin has researched her. She tells Andre about Valentin telling her “open your eyes,” and says he told her it was just a coincidence. Andre says it’s no secret she was with the WSB, but she says there’s more to it. Valentin seems familiar. Andre asks if she thinks she knows him, but she says it’s more like he knows her.

Valentin presents dinner to Nina. She says he makes her nervous. He asks if it’s because of what people say about him. Nina tells him that she’s been warned about him, but she’s spent more time with him than with the people who warned her. He makes her nervous because they’re eating in front of the fire and it feels like the start of something. He says maybe it is. I’m in. She says she’s only had two relationships. The first was cold and distant. She invested time and saw a future, but he didn’t see it. Valentin says the same thing happened to him, and she asks if he’s talking about Claudette.

Lulu says Stavros and Valentin were brothers, so maybe there was some kind of mistake. Dante wonders if there’s competition for the estate, but Lulu tells him that Mikkos left everything to Valentin, no question. Dante wonders if Valentin was just going after the other Cassadines for sport, and says maybe Charlotte is still alive because she’s no threat. Lulu admits that maybe she just wants Charlotte to be her daughter.

Jason is hesitant about moving away just now,  and Sam says they don’t have to make a decision yet. He thinks it’s not the right time to move, and she’s okay with that. The doctor comes in. She asks if they’re ready to meet their baby.

Curtis says that Jordan has no grounds to detain him, but she says he’s a person of interest, and she can legally keep him for 24 hours. He tells her that he can get out of the cuffs, and she asks if he can get out of an arrest warrant, or does he want to cooperate? He says he’s aware of the surveillance footage and that there was a van blocking the camera. He tells her that the van belongs to Julian’s company. She tells him he used the word “we,” and asks who he’s working with.

Jason and Sam look at the ultrasound. The doctor says the baby is looking good. She asks if they want to know the sex. I do! I do!

Curtis tells Jordan that he likes to work alone and misspoke. She doesn’t believe it, and he says she’s right, but he’s not telling her, and he’s given her all the information that he has. She let’s him loose. She says there’s something she thinks he should see. She takes him in the back, and brings out a laptop. She says she has the footage at a different angle from a red light camera, adding that technically it’s public record. She says he gave her something, and she’s returning the favor.

Jason says it’s up to Sam. Sam thinks a surprise is exciting. The doctor says she wrote it down, and they can open it or forget it exists. Jason says thanks for the temptation.

Nathan has hurt his back. Maxie suggests going to the doctor. She asks if he’s going to be okay to do the first dance at the wedding, and he says wild horses couldn’t pull him away; he’ll be there with his dancing shoes on. He has to get back to work, but promises only the desk and an ice pack. As soon as he’s out of the room, Maxie reaches for his laptop, and he tells her to stay off of it. I laugh.

Lulu tells Dante that she can accept that Charlotte isn’t hers. Dante suggests a mini-vacation, but she says they can’t just drop everything and leave; she still has to finalize things for Haunted Star New Year’s Eve party. Dante leaves. Lulu sees a Christmas bow on the floor and ponders again.

Nina tells Valentin that she was lucky. Those relationships weren’t going to last. She needed to live her own life and find out what made her happy. Valentin tells her she’s already learned the most important lesson – you have to get what you want for yourself. She says most people think she’s fragile and defined by her past, but she’s not fragile, and she’s an independent adult. He says they have that in common, being defined by their past. They kiss.

Lulu visits Maxie. She wants an honest opinion. She says she can’t let something go, even after talking to Dante. She thinks Valentin has her daughter, and wants Maxie to help her prove it.

At the station, Dante asks to talk to Nathan. He tells Nathan about Lulu’s theory on Charlotte.

Valentin tells Nina that he doesn’t want to take advantage. She says he’s not.

Andre asks if Anna thinks Valentin came to Port Charles purposely to follow her. She says she’s not that self-absorbed, but thinks she can find what she needs in the rubble at Bedlington.

Jordan tells Curtis that if he clears Sonny’s name, to make sure that Sonny doesn’t take the law into his own hands. She says she knows he’s working for Jason, but she’s trusting him. If he gets a lead as to who planted the bomb, he needs to come to her first, not Sonny. She tells him to just think about it. After she’s gone, he looks at the footage and says, what the hell…?

Sam asks Jason what he wants to do. His phone rings. It’s Curtis. Curtis tells him not to get mad, and Jason says he shouldn’t start a conversation that way. Curtis says he has something really big.

Tomorrow, Lulu and Maxie look at some files that could have the answer, Tom introduces himself to Kiki, and Dante wonders if Charlotte is Lulu’s daughter.

Hairspray Live!

🎶 I hope a lot of you watched this. Harvey Feirstien reprised his original role of Edna, and – sorry John Travolta – nobody does it better. I saw him on Broadway and I still get excited just thinking about it. But that’s not why I’m hoping a lot of people watched it. John Waters said more with his story about a fat, white girl wanting equality for all than anyone will ever say with the negative crap I see online. If you don’t like musicals, check out the original movie with Divine playing Edna (I was also blessed to see him on stage in Women Behind Bars). Same message without the songs. But if you watch this, be prepared for – horrors! – cultural appropriation, or what we used to call sharing our culture. Today, people can’t seem to make up their minds as to whether they want to be homogenized or smack your hand away from their hair-do. Personally, I prefer to call the USA not a melting pot – a term we were once described as, but never seemed to grasp – but a stew pot, where every ingredient is different, yet all of them work together.

Mini-lecture over. Hairspray Live! was everything. More than a play, it was an event, with live feeds on TV from various cities, a live audience for the show, behind-the-scenes footage, and the Facebook Live comments going so fast, it was hard to read them, much less reply to any. There were a few technical glitches, but the cast didn’t miss a beat, and you could tell they were enjoying the hell out of it. It was a wonderful way to bring people together. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I felt good afterward, and certainly better than I do after looking at my Facebook newsfeed.

And while my father can no longer build us a stage in the barn, we can still join together in singing and dancing to promote unity.

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.