Monthly Archives: March 2017

Mar8

March 7, 2017 – Olivia-J Recreates Duke, Candace Nails Her Mark, Erika Goes Home, a Little LA & Upcoming Shows

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane tells Lulu they don’t want to overplay their hand. Nina’s absence at the hearing will speak volumes.

Nora tells Valentin that she wouldn’t be a good lawyer if she misrepresented his chances. She asks if he and Nina could put aside their personal differences for Charlotte’s sake.

At Crimson, Laura tells Nina that she has nothing against her; they have a lot in common. She’s lost years of her life too. Nina asks why she’s there, and Laura says she thinks she knows a way they can both get what they want.

Jordan comes to the hospital and asks where Julian is.

Julian tells Anna that Olivia-J wants GH, and passes out. Andre and Jordan come in. Anna tells them that Olivia is alive, and did this to Julian. Jordan says she promises they’ll get to the bottom of it, but let them do their job. Anna says Olivia is in the hospital somewhere, and they can’t let her escape.

Griff wakes up strapped to a table. Olivia says she knew that bump on the head wouldn’t keep him down long; he’s just like his father. She tells him that she’d explain if there was time, but they’ve been found out. He says he knows who she is, and she tells him that she’s Olivia Jerome, the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. Great.

Diane tells Lulu that she brought the social worker’s report, and it will present the kind of parents they’ll be for Charlotte. Lulu tells Dante what a great dad he is. She wonders what’s holding up Laura.

Laura says it’s clear that Nina and Charlotte love each other. Nina says if Valentin gets custody, that’s not a problem. Laura says she heard they were having issues; Maxie texted her. Laura thinks Nina is questioning what she knows about Valentin.

Nora asks Valentin if they have Nina’s support. He says she’s accepted certain truths about his life, but is becoming increasingly uneasy with them. Nora says that it’s better that Nina not be there at the beginning, rather than disappearing later, and Valentin says he told her not to come unless she’s in it for the long haul. Nora says where she comes from, that’s called an old tomato ultimatum, and never ends well.

Lucas talks to Alexis about Sam. She can’t believe that she came so close to losing Sam and Scout, and that she’d almost started to believe Julian. Lucas is shocked that Olivia is back. Alexis hopes that she’s far away. Valerie comes out of the elevator, and asks them to come with her.

Julian says Fred Gray botched it. Jordan asks if Gray was working with Olivia-J, but Julian says he’s the one who brokered the deal. Anna wonders why Olivia would come back to GH. Jullian tells her that Olivia wants what’s underneath it.

Griff asks where he is. Olivia-J says they don’t have time for questions, but they’re under the hospital, and he’s as exhausting as Robin. He asks where Robin is, and Olivia says she’s safe. She marvels at his resemblance to Duke, and asks if Duke ever talked about her. He tells her that he never met his father, and found out about him through Anna, and Olivia says her name is not to be spoken. She lights a candle, and asks if he feels something. She says it must be hard to work here with his father’s soul locked in the walls. Griff says his father’s soul is at peace. Olivia says she heard him cry out for vengeance and justice, but he got none of those things. His soul is locked in GH’s walls. He won’t be free of this mortal coil unless she helps him to get a new life. He needs a vessel to return to, and because of Griff, he has one.

Valentin tells Nora that Nina is passionate and compulsive. She’s angry with him, and not without reason. He doesn’t want her to do something impulsive at the hearing, and says she should stay at the office. Nora says they can work with that, and spins it to make Nina a role model. He says Nora really is the best, but Nora says she’d feel better if Nina was beside him in court.

Nina says that Laura knows nothing about Valentin, her, or their marriage, and not to disrespect her in her office. Laura says she knows about the Cassadines, but Nina says that Valentin didn’t grow up with them. Laura says maybe it’s genetic, and they all use secrets as currency. She asks if Valentin left Nina in the dark about something, and Nina says it’s none of her business. Laura says maybe things will work out or maybe one day Nina will wonder who’s she’s sleeping next to. If they split up, she’ll never see Charlotte again. If Lulu gets custody, she’ll make sure Nina is in Charlotte’s life. Nina asks what she has to do in return.

Griff says Olivia-J is insane, and Olivia says she’s tired of hearing that. He says Duke is dead, and she can’t bring him back. She insists that she can bring back the love of her life. She lights a candle, and says when the flame goes out, Duke has returned. Griff says he knows she loved him, and it’s hard to accept. She wants him to drink some forgetfulness cleansing tea. She says some call it a metaphor, but they need to cleanse his body like a factory reset, so Duke’s soul can return. He says he’s not drinking it. She puts a funnel in his mouth. I have to laugh because it all looks so silly.

Anna asks Julian what he means about underneath the hospital. Andre says there’s a chance he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He asks if Olivia-J was ever a psyche patient, and Anna says yes, about a thousand times. Andre thinks her file might be of use, and asks Jordan to confer. He tells Anna she’s in no position to be playing super spy. She tells him that she’s the most qualified, and he says she’s also the most vulnerable because of being on blood thinners. Jordan says Olivia won’t get away. Anna says she doesn’t answer to Jordan, and Andre asks her not to do anything reckless.

Olivia-J tells Griff to relax. She says he’s a good son, giving his father a second chance to live. Duke would be proud. She tells him it will be over before he knows it, and takes out a scalpel.

Valerie tells Alexis that there’s a threat. Anna joins them, and tells her about Julian being attacked by Olivia-J, and that they think she’s still in the hospital. Alexis stomps off to find Julian. Anna tells Lucas about how Olivia wants what’s underneath the hospital. He tells her Tony was blackmailed into working in Helena’s lab under the hospital, but he figured the fire destroyed the lab. Anna deputizes him (sort of), and says Olivia wants Helena’s lab.

Valentin comes into the courtroom, and Diane tells Lulu to focus. Nora tells Valentin to stay calm and stable. Diane is a master at innuendo and rumor, and passing it off as fact. She tells him not to take the bait when she slings dirt. Diane tells Lulu to let Nina’s absence to speak for itself.

Laura tells Nina that neither Lulu or Valentin seem to be more qualified than the other. Nina says that Charlotte loves Valentin, and Lulu scares her. Laura asks her to testify that her marriage is a sham. Nina says it might be shaky right now, but her marriage is real. Laura says they’re already fighting, and asks if Nina is confident that their marriage can withstand Valentin getting Charlotte and not needing her anymore. Nina says that Laura is playing with her feelings. Laura admits she is, but nothing she’s said is a lie. Nina says Valentin has done nothing to hurt her, and Laura wants her to stab him in the back. Laura says she’s in control, not him. She can testify on his behalf or tell the truth and still keep Charlotte in her life. She asks Nina to think about it for Charlotte’s sake, and hopes she sees Nina in court.

Alexis bursts into Julian’s room.

Andre looks over Olivia-J’s hospital files. He says she was sent to Ferncliff after her dead brother tried to kill her. She was briefly in a coma, and reverted to a childlike state when she woke up. According to the notes, she believed she was a seven or eight-year-old. Andre says it can be a psychosis that’s a response to an emotional trauma where the mind retreats from reality. The person can’t process particular pain or loss, and latches onto a fantasy.

Anna goes to the hospital basement. She sees Olivia-J’s fingerprints by the secret door and opens it. Olivia drips Griff’s blood onto the candle flame. She talks to Duke, saying she’s prepared a vessel for him, and he has to choose to live again. The door opens, but it’s not Duke, it’s Anna.

Laura gets to the court just in time. Lou Judge Rawles asks for opening statements. Lulu goes first. Blah-blah-blah daughter I didn’t know about blah-blah feelings blah-blah a mother’s connection. Zzzzzzzz…. Wake me when it’s Valentin’s turn. Lulu says she can offer Charlotte a stable home and a brother who adores her (really? I don’t think they’ve been in the same vicinity more than twice), and a loving father. She asks for full custody.

Anna says, so she is alive. Olivia-J says it wouldn’t be a reunion for her and Duke without Anna crashing the party. Olivia holds up the scalpel, and says Duke is coming back. She’s found a body to house his soul, and unless Anna wants them both to be lost, she’ll put the gun down.

Alexis says if Julian hadn’t been such a tool, her granddaughter wouldn’t have been born in the cold. Julian gets sappy about having a new grandchild, but Alexis says he’s not going anywhere near her.

Anna puts down the gun. She tells Olivia-J not to hurt Griff, but Olivia says don’t tell her what to do. They struggle over the scalpel. Of course it has to be a scalpel.

Nina looks at the picture from Charlotte.

Valentin talks about how neither he nor Lulu were willing participants in the embryo implantation, but when he found out he had a child brewing, he found a surrogate. He was in the delivery room when Charlotte was born, and was with her for all her firsts. He’s already established that Charlotte knows and loves him, and he’s been the one constant in her life. He says Lulu is attached to idea of Charlotte in the abstract “my daughter,” but doesn’t know her as a person. She’s not a possession. She’s a beautiful little girl who needs stability and constancy. This is Charlotte’s life and childhood, and her needs are more important than his or the Falconaris’.

Anna and Olivia-J struggle over the scalpel.

Valerie says everyone is accounted for except Griff. Jordan says he’s Duke’s son.

More struggle. Anna tells Olivia-J to stop before someone gets hurt. Olivia says that Duke is coming for her, not Anna, and she’s going to make sure she’s dead this time. She throws Anna down, but Anna kicks her. Olivia slashes at Anna with the scalpel, and one or both of them flash back to when they were younger. (And so was I – sob!) Olivia tells Anna that she’s bleeding, and she is. A lot.

Diane presents the social worker’s report, and the judge wants a quick break to read it. Nora also has affidavits for her. Lulu says she almost believed Valentin’s statement. Diane tells her to focus on what they’re presenting; any character witness can swing things either way. Nina walks in.

Alexis asks Julian if it was his idea for Olivia-J to be her sponsor. Lucas comes in, and Julian says it wasn’t like that, and he has a lot to tell her. She tells him to save it; she’s done with him. She’s going home to throw the safe deposit key in the trash.

The candle goes out, and Griff wakes up with a start, startling me. Olivia whacks Anna a good one, and she’s out. Griff breaks the straps like he’s the Hulk.

Jordan wants the hospital swept. She goes to Julian’s room and says they think Olivia-J is targeting Griff. She asks Julian about the basement, and he says that Olivia has Anna.

Olivia-J is about to shoot Anna when Griff appears. Olivia asks, could it be? and Griff says, it’s him – Duke.  I gotta say, Griff looks super-hot, and I would swear he was really Duke come back from the dead if I didn’t think he was just trying to get the better of Olivia. Or is Duke really back? There were vampires in Port Charles at one time…

Tomorrow, Carly threatens Nelle, Nina tells the truth, and Olivia-J tells Griff that Anna has to die.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hannah tells the desk sergeant that her daughter is Candace Young, and the sergeant asks her to wait there.

Rookie tells Justin he’s sorry for shooting at Jeffrey. Justin says they were just goofing around. Rookie says it looked like Jeffrey had gotten the best of him, and didn’t know Jeffrey was his friend. Justin insists Jeffrey isn’t his friend confusing all of us. Justin says he’ll squelch the report, so Rookie doesn’t get in trouble. The desk sergeant comes to get Justin, who apparently runs the police department.

Justin approaches Hannah. He asks if she knows where Candace is. She says she does, and he asks where. She asks how Candace is going to be arrested. Justin asks if she has weapons. Hannah doesn’t think so, and he says they’ll just ask her to come with them. She says she has Candace’s son, her grandson, and doesn’t want him to see her get arrested. Justin says they’ll do their best, and asks if Hannah can entice her outside. Hannah says she’ll try, but she wants to be sure. Justin promises they’ll wait for her to come outside to take her into custody. Hannah gives him the hotel and room number. She asks if he can wait until Quincy Jr. is on the school bus. He asks who she is to Candace, and Hannah tells him that she’s Candace’s mother. He asks if she knows how Quincy Maxwell died. She says she doesn’t, and Justin says he was stabbed over 40 times. Hannah tells him to look up Quincy’s record. Justin asks about Quincy and Candace’s relationship. Hannah says he was violent, and if she did anything, it was probably in self-defense. Hannah starts to get defensive herself.

Justin says there had to be more than one assailant. The medical examiner thinks there might have been a man involved, and he asks if Hannah can think of anyone. Hannah says she can’t, and Justin gives her his card. He says they don’t even have a warrant yet, so they’ll be waiting for her call. He tells her she did the right thing.

After Hannah leaves, Justin calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey doesn’t answer.

Charles tells Candace that he doesn’t know if he really wants the presidency. She says it’s POTUS, and asks if he knows how many men and women have dreamt of that. He says it can be stifling, and the bubble is small. He grew up in Detroit by way of Tennessee, and it’s debilitating. He loves politics, but not the Whitehouse. Not without his wife, raising his kids alone. He says he’s a good guy, and Candace says her chief-of-staff will hook him up.

Charles says he’s going to be president, and can’t sleep with a woman he just met. Candace says he’s single and they like each other, so what’s up with that? He repeats that he can’t. She asks if it’s the bubble or his wife. He says he was with his wife for fifteen years and doesn’t know how to do this. He says Candace seems bored, and she asks if he likes strong women. He says he does, and calls her beautiful, but he can’t do this. Candace says what if she told him she wasn’t interested in ever letting anyone know? He says he’s heard that before, and then it’s used against you. She asks what about her reputation, and he asks how he would ruin it. She says she’s worked for everything she has, and wouldn’t want to waste it. She wants people to know she worked to get where she is, so she’s not interested in ever letting this moment be known. He asks if she promises. She does, and he says he finds her impossible to resist. She says most men do.

She tells him to stop thinking and just be Charles for an hour or two. They start to make out. She leads him to the bed. Where there’s a bunch of crap. You might want to clean that off. They get busy in the middle of all the papers and books and stuff. Ow!

Jeffrey reads the texts from Justin, telling him how the police think more than one person was involved in Quincy’s murder. Veronica asks if she needs to take the phone away, and tells him to get in the room. He goes in and sits on the bed. Melissa comes out in lingerie. Jeffrey says that does nothing for him and she says it was Veronica’s idea.

Candace and Charles bask in the afterglow. Jeffrey leaves a message for Candace to call him back.

Melissa asks Jeffrey what’s going on; he seems bothered. He says she’s why he’s bothered, and she asks what’s really going on. She can tell there’s something else. He says he got in a fight. She asks if it was bad, and he asks if she’s acting like she cares. She says she’s not acting, but forget it. She asks if the officer outside was the lover who pissed him off, and by the body language, it seemed like something casual between them. He says yes, Justin is his lover and they just had sex and it was good. He goes on about it, but Melissa is unfazed. Jeffrey continues with TMI, and she rolls her eyes.

Veronica walks in and asks, what happened then? She heard him telling his story, so finish. Melissa tries to intervene, but Veronica says she’s not talking to her; she wants to know how low Jeffrey can go. She tells him, you work, Miss Thing, and he says she’s been drinking. She brings up Jeffrey testifying, and tells Melissa that he’s done all kinds of things to her, including putting a knife in her chest. She says he doesn’t understand she’ll always be here. She doesn’t know what was going on between him and Officer Too Friendly, but this is his future.

Melissa says if Jeffrey wants to be with a man, he should. Veronica starts laughing. She says Melissa is bought and paid for, and it’s not to think. She tells Jeffrey not to see that man again. He says he’s done, and she needs to let this go. He tells her to go to bed and sleep it off. She says she’s not afraid of him, and he calls her sick. She says she’s not trying to hurt him: she’s trying to make his life better. He says, by locking him up? She begs him to try a few more times. She’s giving him freedom, and he needs to honor it. She says enough disgusting talk, and asks Melissa what she thinks. Melissa says she doesn’t think. Veronica tells Jeffrey to enjoy his future wife.

Melissa apologizes to Jeffrey. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he tells her move. She says she’s sorry for everything, and for him being involved, and starts to cry. She says Veronica should be asleep by now, and he can leave; she’ll cover for him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want her to do anything for him ever. Melissa says it’s wrong the way Veronica is treating him and holding her father over her head. She has Melissa the way she has Jeffrey. Her father worked hard his whole life, and she thought she could help. It seemed like a way out, but it’s deeper in. Jeffrey says he can’t go to jail.

She asks what he did, and he says murdered someone. She says with Veronica as a mother, she’s surprised he’s not a serial killer. She realizes he’s telling the truth, and he says she should be afraid of him. She says death doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea, and asks why he did it. He says he was being pushed. She asks if he’s being pushed now. He says yes, and he snapped. Melissa says she just needs enough money to take care of her dad. Veronica will be asleep on the couch soon. He says he’s not doing anything to his mom, and Melissa says she just meant if he wanted to see his friend, but he has to be back by 4 am, since she comes upstairs like clockwork. She tells Jeffrey good-night.

Oscar calls Jim. He has Wyatt’s address, and Jim says they used to own the building. Oscar says it will be hard to find out where the money is offshore, but he’s working on it. Jim is impressed. Jim calls George and says he’ll help him trap Candace in exchange for one thing. George says he’ll give him all the photos. Jim says that If he does this, he wants it over.

Jim looks outside and calls to Kathryn. He asks if Hannah has Amanda’s car. Kathryn says she gave it to her. Jim wonders what’s going on with the two of them.

Kathryn goes out to the car. Hannah tells her that she needs a criminal lawyer. Kathryn asks what she’s done now, but Hannah says it’s for her son and daughter. Kathryn says that Hannah knows how much she hates Candace, but Hannah says that Candace is still her daughter, and the favor is for her. Kathryn asks what Benny has to do with it, but Hannah says she can’t say. She asks if Kathryn will help her. Kathryn says she’ll make some calls, but as much as she hates the bitch, Veronica is the best. Hannah says that Veronica is her friend, and Kathryn is like, whatever you say. She tells Hannah that she’ll call Marty in the morning. Hannah thanks her, and says she has to get back.

Charles and Candace bask in more afterglow. They have pillow talk, and he asks how many men she’s been with. She says the only thing that matters is who she’s with at the time, but she used to see a lot of men. He asks what’s changed. She tells him that she’s getting older and wants to settle down. He asks for her story. She asks what’s his story, and he tells her that he’s running for president. She says most stories are more complicated, and he says the reality is that she can’t know. She asks why. Charles tells her that he wants to be president, he just met her, and they end up in bed. His wife would never have done this, since she was conservative. Candace thinks he’s a wannabe freak, and maybe his wife was too. He wonders if he said anything wrong, and she says no problem. He tells her that it would hurt a lot of people if this came out, and that he can’t have this come out. She picks up her phone and says she can.

Meanwhile, David and Erica are going at it. Erica sees War in the doorway.

Next time, the finale – Jim wants a night with Candace, Hannah asks Benny what he did, and Candace tells Charles that he messed with the wrong female.

Important information. If Loving You is Wrong starts its new season on Tuesday, March 21st, at 9 pm.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! Schnooky! LisaV tells Ken that if she was Kyle, she’d be more pissed off at LisaR than Eden. She tells him about how LisaR called Kyle an enabler. He thinks she just says whatever pops into her head. I think he’s right. I have to mention, I’ve been thinking about Ken all week, and how emotional he got over the disgusting dog meat trade. Being British, he’s not the type to normally show his feelings, and I thought it took a very strong man to reveal that to the world. My husband bought something from Amazon made in China the other day, and I almost popped him in the nose.

Kyle meets Dorit for lunch. Erika meets Eileen for lunch in another location. Erika says she’s going to visit her mom in Georgia, and that her mom is in a play. She tells Eileen that her mother has had a resurgence, and Eileen calls it cute. Let’s not diminish another woman’s accomplishments or anything. Bleh. I’m liking Eileen less as this show goes on.

Kyle tells Dorit about an event happening at her store. They have some kind of drink debuting, and The Fat Jewish is going to help with the promotion. Dorit says that Kim was a rock star last night, and we flash back to her basically telling LisaR off.

In her interview, Eileen says LisaR can often get in trouble for what she says, but she’d rather deal with someone like her. She seems to think this falls under honesty, although many of the Wives have a skewed view of what that is. News flash. It doesn’t mean just saying whatever floats through your brain.

LisaR thinks that she and Kim had a moment of release and need to move on now. We flash back to them hugging it out, and Lisa thanking Kim for being open. Lisa says if you hang onto resentment and anger, it only poisons you. She talks some nonsense about positive energy.

Dorit says when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over, it’s hard to get past it. Dr. Phil calls this stepping on your foot. You can’t forgive someone for stepping on your foot if they’re still stepping on it. She says LisaR makes you think you can trust her, but you blink, and then you can’t. She says Kim and LisaR have been able to work things out – for now – but wonders how many times it’s going to happen. She gives Eden some leeway for being influenced by her relationship with her own sister.

Kyle meets with The Fat Jewish. She asks him to call LisaR out on saying she’s sick, but showing shoe shopping on her Instagram. He calls her, and she says she has the stomach flu. He says she was shopping earlier, but she says the doctor was next to Sak’s. Eden arrives with her friend, Dru.

Dorit trips out of the limo, literally, and Eileen and Camille arrive together. The event is in full swing, and Erika is drinking wine out of the bottle with a straw. LisaV wonders why Kyle is calling a Jew fat, and Kyle has to explain. She introduces The Fat Jewish to everyone. Erika gushes over some jeans. The Fat Jewish takes his shirt off and gives Kyle a lap dance. PK tells LisaV that Ken has been giving him a hard time all night. Erika compliments Dorit’s haircut, and Dorit says it’s the first compliment she’s ever gotten from her. Erika says it’s not, so we flash back and she’s correct. Dorit wonders why Erika seems to have a wall up.

LisaV talks about the trip to Hong Kong she’s taking to stop the dog meat trade. Kyle is coming along, because Ken can’t go, and suddenly, everyone else is coming too. In her interview, Lisa says why not invite The Fat Jewish as well.

Commercial break why do they advertise next week’s “whole new episode,” when we’re not done watching this week’s yet?

LisaV instructs her housekeeper about the different dressings she’s made for a lunch she’s having for Dorit, Erika and Kyle. They’re trying out a new wine for the restaurant and she wants to do it right. Dorit hugs Erika for way too long, and even I get uncomfortable. Kyle arrives, and announces that her sister Kim is a grandmother. She says there was quite a crowd at the birth. Lisa says she has a bone to pick with Erika, who invited Eileen to Hong Kong. In her interview, Lisa says the last time they went away, it was a bloody nightmare. She does think it’s a good idea for both LisaR and Eileen to promote the cause though, because they have a few dozen followers on social media. They agree that Eileen is a nice person, but Dorit says she wouldn’t trust her with her innermost secrets. Erika thinks she should only trust PK with those. Erika says she does have a couple of close friends, but she never wanted to be as trusting as her mother. She says she watches and measures when it comes to herself, although that doesn’t mean she’s not sympathetic or empathetic with other people. Dorit says she’s hard to read, and she’s trusting until someone gives her a reason not to be. In her interview, Kyle says she thinks she understands. Erika is guarded because people have judged her. Dorit says it makes her hard to read, and Erika says she’s a different animal.

Erika’s makeup artists, Clyde and Preston, accompany her in the private jet to Atlanta. She says she’s a Southern girl, and she’ll always be a tomboy too. She’s capable of both camping and glamming.

Kyle brings a family cradle to Kim for the new baby. Kim shows her pictures. Kim says it was the most amazing experience of her life. Kyle tells Kim about the trip to Hong Kong. Kim still isn’t sure about the experience at Kyle’s party. She says LisaR is always like, I made a mistake, and Kyle does an imitation of her saying, “own it.” Kim says she doesn’t have the energy to expel for these people, and I relate.

Erika rents a car and heads to her grandparents’ house. Her mom’s fiancé, Chip, greets them. She says it’s great and emotional at the same time. They look at family photos. She talks about how her grandparents always came to the rescue when her mother needed help, and her grandfather was the only father she ever knew. She tells Preston and Clyde about her grandmother’s battle with Alzheimer’s, and it sounds dreadful. She used to speak to her grandmother every day, and when the phone calls stopped, that was the hardest part. She says it was a marker that the woman she knew was no longer, and to see someone so vibrant and strong slip away is inhumane.

Erika’s mom, wearing a Pat the Puss T-shirt, gets home, and we see where Erika got her good looks from. In her interview, Erika tells us that her mother was a piano teacher, but Erika stunk at piano, so she became a singer and dancer. Her mother was 18 when she had Erika, and did the best she could. Erika says she was never cut any breaks, but her mother loved her and wasn’t a bullsh*tter. She says it was like throwing a kid in a pool to learn to swim, but she didn’t drown. Her mom talks about the play. She thinks it’s good to be involved in something like theater, because it keeps her going and alert. Erika says it’s important to be creative and continue to express herself. Thank God she didn’t say it was cute.

Giggy! Harrison! Ken! LIsaV and Ken go to the dog rescue. Lisa is so excited, she slides down the bannister. She wants to make the rescue center like a lifestyle shop. She says there’s going to be a spa where Vanderpups can get the best blow job in Hollywood. Ha-ha! That LisaV, she’s a real card.

LisaR comes by. Giggy is too precious for words with his little bald behind and pom-pom paws. LisaR says she’s still not 100% well. LisaV explains that they started Vanderpump Pets as a company, but then they realized what was happening in China, so they expanded operations and are also making a documentary. She tells LIsaR they need someone on all fours, and asks her if she’d like to come along to Hong Kong, and put the Dubai trip behind them. In her interview, she says that she wants to mend fences, but isn’t going to forget what happened. It’s not a grudge; it’s being smart. I’m totally on board. That LisaV, she’s also very wise. LisaR is glad to hear it. She’s moved on, but hearing this from LisaV is like getting a bonus check. LisaV asks for LisaR’s feather eyelashes as some kind of commitment, but in her interview, she says she wants LisaR to leave with bald eyes. LisaR hands her lashes over, and in her interview, LisaV says maybe she can manipulate LisaR, and wonders if she’ll carry the bags.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of New York starts its new season on April 5th, Wednesday, at 9 pm.

In the morning, Erika and her mom go to the cemetery. They take a golf cart to go in. Her mother says she has a fear of being buried and wants cremation. In her interview, Erika says she was closer to her grandmother. I hate to say this, but this looks like a pet cemetery. The headstones are like flattish rocks and it’s in the middle of a forest. I don’t see any other graves around either. What’s going on with this??? They put flowers by the stones, and sit to talk. Erika says she didn’t want to cry today, and her mom says she didn’t cry as a kid. Erika says she was treated like an adult a lot, but she knows her mom was under a lot of pressure. Her mom says it made her a tough old bird (geez, how old is Erika? 40?), and Erika says she gets accused of being cold. She has little patience for crybabies and people who need a lot of hand-holding. I can understand where she’s coming from. I’m not unsympathetic either, but when someone is whining about the same problem they were whining about five years ago, I tend to think they don’t really want to resolve the problem, and start to inch away. Erika’s mom says she’s the sweetest, and Erika appreciates her feelings being validated. Her mom tells Erika that she’s been good to the family, and her grandparents would be proud. We end with a hug.

Next time, Hong Kong phooey, the girls discourage Eden sleeping with someone she doesn’t know, LisaR confronts Dorit, and Erika calls Dorit on her bs. Sounds like it’s not going to be a great trip for Dorit.

A Few Randoms

🔫 Imposters – Uma Thurman is the best! Anything with her in it is always worth watching.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here, March 8th at 9 pm. How they got where? I looked at the blurb in the digital guide and it looks like a retrospective of previous seasons.

💃 Little Women: LA highlights – Matt told Briana he wanted to train to be an MMA fighter, and she asked if he wants to fight people. When he replied, “Well, they don’t fight animals,” I nearly died laughing. Terra gathered the girls to explain that she’s not dying, and until a doctor tells her to stop doing Dancing with the Stars, she’s sticking with it. Christy signed up to have neck surgery, and Elena and Tonya went to a spa for some kind of freezing treatment that’s supposed to help with inflammation. Briana is also dealing with postpartum depression, and Jasmine begged her to get some help before it gets worse.

Mar7

March 6, 2017 – Nora Buchanan Comes to Port Charles, SUR’s Annual Photo Shoot & Scary Summer House

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane goes the bar and orders a double espresso because she needs extra caffeine for the case coming up. She gets chatty with the woman next to her. She talks about her opposing counsel, Nora Buchanan. Which is who she’s sitting next to, although she doesn’t know it yet. I guess she never watched One Life to Live.

Nina deals with the ringing phones in the office. Valentin comes in, and hangs up the phone. Nina is still annoyed with him about Anna.

Anna is packing up. Dante sees her checking her weapon. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says that’s a good observation. He asks if her doctor knows. She thanks him for caring, but says she’s not going to just wait there while Olivia-J is alive and on the loose.

Franco gives Elizabeth a ride to work, and they flirt in the garage. He points out that Ava and Julian have a sister crazier than they are. He says crazy doesn’t discriminate, and he wants her to be safe.

Dante talks to Anna about Olivia-J’s obsession with Duke. He says there’s a good chance Olivia is out to get her, and she says she’s counting on that.

Olivia-J has Robin prisoner. She tells her that they have a lot of work to do, and need to get cracking. She is a lot of fun. I guess that’s why they made her kooky/aggressive instead of just aggressive. It gives leeway to bring her back again.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Olivia-J does give her the creeps. He asks about Sam. Elizabeth says she’s doing well, considering. Franco suggests she not to talk about it if Jake can hear. He explains about his conversation with Jake, and how Jake said Sam had a bad curse on her.

Olivia-J tells Robin that it’s a blast from the past, and congratulates Robin on her success. She takes the tape off of Robin’s mouth. Robin says everyone thought she was dead, but Olivia says she’s back and better than ever, and that circumstances dictated her return. Robin asks if it has anything to do with her family. Olivia says it has to do with the murder of her one true love, Duke.

Anna leaves a message for Robin. She complains to Dante about Robin being over-protective, and Dante says that Robin was just concerned for Anna’s health. Anna says she’s not an invalid. She tells him that they have to get Olivia-J out of hiding, and she’s the perfect bait. Griff is in the doorway, and says he hopes she’s talking about her dating life.

Valentin tells Nina that he wasn’t with Anna, and gives Nina a picture that Charlotte drew for her, saying that Charlotte was asking for her. She wants to see Nina in the morning, and so does he. Nina says she loves being Charlotte’s stepmother, but doesn’t love him keeping secrets.

Nora says it sounds like Diane has a fight on her hands. Diane goes on about covering all the bases, and realizes that she’s doing all the talking. Nora says she knows who Diane is, an attorney by day and novelist by night, and asks when the new book is coming out. Diane is flattered that she has a reader, and says lately her duties as an attorney have been taking up all of her time. It’s nice to see Nora again. I got to meet her on the OLTL set, and she was lovely and gracious. Actually, all of the people there were, both cast and crew. Bo winked at me. Ah, memories!

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake has some unresolved issues about being on the island with Helena, which he pronounces He-leen-a. Elizabeth says that Jake seems fine, and thinks he just needs to be a kid for a while. She asks Franco to pick her up later.

Diane says normally she doesn’t take custody cases, and Nora asks why this one. Diane tells her that she’s on retainer for a particular man with a particular reputation, and he wanted his daughter-in-law to have the best representation possible. Nora asks how she wins a custody case, and Diane talks about discrediting the other parent without looking like a shark, and that the focus should be on the best interest of the child and trying to compromise.

Laura and Lulu walk in. Diane is about to introduce them, and says she didn’t catch Nora’s name.

Nina asks Valentin why Anna broke in, and why it doesn’t make him angry. He says he doesn’t know how he would have reacted if Anna hadn’t collapsed, but she did, and he doesn’t want to make her life more miserable. He says Anna is the past, and Nina and Charlotte are the future. He asks if they’ll be able to present a united front at the custody hearing.

Griff says he’s not signing off on Anna’s paperwork, and Finn isn’t either. Dante tells her not to do anything stupid because he’ll be in court. They wish him luck.

Robin asks if Olivia-J wants revenge on Julian ordering the hit on Duke. Olivia says that by the time she was able to reunite with Duke, Julian had taken him away again. She’s come back to right Julian’s wrong; she has to restore balance at General Hospital. Robin asks what that means. She says obviously she has to bring Duke back. Obviously.

Nina tells Valentin that she didn’t realize how different they are. His spy training was good, because he’s impossible to read, while she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s angry and confused, and Valentin says she should think about what she wants, meanwhile he’ll be in court fighting for it.

Valentin comes into the bar and introduces his attorney, Nora, to everyone.

Elizabeth comes back to the garage, and Franco admits he’s the new garage attendant. He says it was available, and she has three boys to take care of. She says he’s charming, talented, and thoughtful. They lean against a car to kiss, and hear something in the trunk.

Olivia-J says she would think that someone with Robin’s skills, knowledge, and education would be more aware. She’s studied every culture and philosophy, and seen miracles happen. She’s expanded her consciousness. She tells Robin that death is a transitory state, and sometimes we need to give life a happy end. Robin is like, are you resurrecting Duke in the hospital basement? Olivia says don’t be stupid; they’re in a boiler room, but they need GH. She opens a secret door, saying this is it; this is the lab where Helena breathed new life into Stavros.

Anna says she’s following all the rules, and Griff says Finn told him that she’s just following the rules she likes. After mumbling about patient/doctor confidentiality, she tells Griff that a higher priority has emerged – Robin.

Olivia-J looks around the lab, bringing Robin along. Robin thought it had been destroyed. Olivia says she found out it wasn’t, and asks Robin if she’s familiar with the machines. Robin says she is, and they look damaged, but she’s a doctor, not an engineer. Olivia asks how Helena resurrected her son. Robin says Stavros wasn’t exactly dead. The machines just kept him alive while he was healing. She says the machines aren’t going to work on Duke; he’s not coming back.

The car alarm goes off and Elizabeth calls for help. She pops the trunk open, and Franco says it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Elizabeth sees Julian in the trunk.

Nina looks out the window, not getting any work done. She flashes back to Valentin telling her he loves her, and how she was afraid of saying it back. She thinks about Valentin telling her that Anna is the one stuck in the past, and Nina is hung up on what the other men in her life have done to her.

Diane tells Nora that her reputation does her justice, and she’ll be a formidable opponent. Nora says she’s right about compromise being the name of the game – unless her client refuses to compromise. Diane says this is the first time they’ve met, but she learned something. Nora says her too, and leaves with Valentin. Diane tells Lulu and Dante that Valentin has a good lawyer, but theirs is better.

Anna says she thinks Olivia-J wants to exact revenge on Julian, and that she was madly in love with Duke. She tells Griff about how she was pregnant with Duke’s baby, and Olivia rigged the elevator to crash and she has a miscarriage. Griff asks if that was the intention. Anna doesn’t know, but it served Olivia’s purpose. She has to find Olivia before she targets Robin. Hurting Robin is the surest way to hurt her. Elizabeth runs in, saying she’s there about Julian.

Olivia-J asks if Robin is all science and no faith. Robin says she wishes they could bring Duke back too, but it’s not how the machines work. Helena had Stavros’s body, but Duke was cremated. Olivia takes something out of her bra, saying she’s been carrying it for years. I could make a lot of jokes here, but moving on. It’s a lock of Duke’s hair, and she says the DNA should be enough. Robin says it’s not. Olivia says she can’t give up on Duke, and Robin says she understands. She lost her first love too, but can’t bring him back, the same way she can’t bring back Duke. All they can do is live their lives in their loved one’s honor, and Duke would want Olivia to be happy. Olivia says it’s not possible without him. Robin says she’s moved on, and Olivia can too. Robin reaches toward Olivia, and Olivia drops the vial. It shatters, and she tells Robin, look what you made me do.

Olivia-J says Robin destroyed the last pieces she had of Duke. Robin says that’s not true; he left a piece of himself in each of their hearts. Olivia says that’s not good enough. She says Robin did have one good idea though. Maybe he left another piece of himself.

Anna asks how Julian is. Griff says it’s not that severe, and he’ll recover. Anna is having the car checked out. She wonders why Olivia-J would leave Julian alive. Perhaps there’s another reason she came to town, other than getting even with him. She says good thing Olivia doesn’t know about Griff.

Diane apologizes for her lapse in judgement, saying it won’t affect the case. Lulu says Valentin murdered her brother, but Diane reminds her that there’s no proof. It helps their case that he’s had an unsettled undocumented life, but Nora will present him in the best light possible.

Nora tells Valentin that Diane is good. When she found out who Nora was, she barely blinked. She makes a nice living making sure Sonny stays out of prison and gets what he wants. Valentin says that’s why he hired Nora. She tells him to be careful how he presents himself. She asks about Nina, and he says he doesn’t know if she’ll be joining them. At all.

Nina calls Charlotte. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t tuck her in, but she had a grown-up work thing. She promises she’ll make it up to her. She asks what Charlotte wants her to do, and if Charlotte would like to sing with her. She sings as she looks at a photo of the three of them, and starts to choke up. Oh come on, we know you’re going to help. Get to the hearing already.

Lulu says Maxie texted her, saying Valentin and Nina are on the rocks. How she knows this, I’m not sure. Lulu says that if the marriage is unraveling, they’re not providing Charlotte with a stable home, and Diane says they can spin this. Lulu says they have to act fast while the problems are hot.

Nora tells Valentin to apologize, whatever it takes, get Nina there. He says it’s not going to happen. She says he’s a man with a questionable past, while Lulu has stacks of affidavits to support her as a parent. If he doesn’t present to the court that he’s the preferable parent, he’ll have to share custody or lose it entirely.

Lulu tells Dante that they should take advantage of the situation. Dante says they could push Nina away from Valentin or back into his arms.

Nina looks at her calendar, seeing the entry for the hearing. Laura comes in. Nina says it’s not a good time. Laura says she’ll want to make time; she has a proposition.

Griff asks Anna to be careful. She promises she will. Anna says if he sees Robin, tell her to stop dawdling, but she’s not leaving Julian until the police get there. Griff leaves, and Anna calls Julian a cat with nine lives. He asks where he is, and she tells him he’s in the hospital, and that he was found tied up in the trunk of a car. She asks if Olivia-J did this.

Olivia gets in the elevator with Griff.

Anna asks Julian where Olivia is, and why she put him in the trunk. He says she’s here and never left.

Griff remembers Olivia from the garage. She’s flattered that he recognizes her, and says she could never forget him. He reminds her of her one true love, his father, Duke.

Tomorrow, Laura tells Nina that they can both have what they want, Anna asks Julian where Olivia-J is, and Olivia-J kidnaps Griff.

Vanderpump Rules

Everyone manages to get back from Vegas without getting arrested. Jax shows Lisa their drag pictures. She tells Tom that he looks better as a woman. She asks if Schwartz and Katie had a good time, but Jax says they didn’t sleep in the same bed for the first two nights and fought 80% of the time. Lisa decides to talk to Katie.

Scheana and Ariana talk about the fighting. Ariana doesn’t think it’s a good solution to bottle up the problems until after the wedding. She wonders how you retrain yourself not to fight like that.

Harrison! The SUR photo shoot is coming u,p and we flash back to the previous ones. This year’s theme is indulgence. Lisa asks Katie about the fighting during the party weekend, but she passes the blame to Schwartz. Lisa says if they keep going in that direction, they could lose each other. In her interview, Lisa says this is more than pre-wedding jitters, and if they can’t get along on vacation, how are they going to get it together IRL?

Stassi and Kristen go to lunch. Kristen brings her dog Gibson along. He’s a certified service dog; she got him a card for $79. She says she won’t stab James in the heart while Gibson is with her, so whatever works. Stassi fills out a dating app profile on her phone. She tells us that desperate times call for desperate measures, and she does not want to date any more bartenders.

Katie and Schwartz visit Lisa. Schwartz doesn’t trust the swans. I probably wouldn’t either. Lisa asks what they still have to do. Katie says they still have some catering stuff to deal with, and one more thing. A guy dressed like a butler comes to the door. He proclaims Lisa the fairest in the land, and tells her that Katie and Schwartz request that she officiate at their nuptials. She tells them that she’s totally overwhelmed and didn’t expect it, and Schwartz says they wanted something special. Lisa tells them she takes marriage seriously, and the way they’ve been behaving gives her cause for concern. We flash back to Katie telling Lisa about various fights with Schwartz. Lisa says it has to be a new chapter in their lives, and she wants to make sure they’re taking responsibility. Schwartz says everything they’ve been through has overshadowed the relationship. Katie starts to cry.

In her interview, Katie says they have big problems, and they have to face them. She tells Lisa that she wants to be with Schwartz. She says they let themselves forget who they were, and she and wants to get back to that. Lisa wants to know they’re really committed to each other before she agrees.

The kids go to the beach for some sun, and drinking in a different atmosphere. Stassi says she had a date and made out all night long. She’s not looking for anyone to put a ring on it though – unless the ring is really big. Schwartz tells them about asking Lisa to officiate, and how they ended up having a sit-down and it got heavy. She wants to make sure they love each other before she says yes, and Schwartz agrees it’s been a disaster lately. Tom says the friends have overstepped boundaries, but it was out of concern. Dolphins! (I’m like a person with ADD when I see animals.) In his interview, Tom says that only Lisa has the balls to say what everyone is thinking.

Schwartz suggests that he and Katie not be a-holes anymore. Good luck with that, especially hanging around this crowd. He says they’re supposed to be unflappable, but they’ve been majorly flappable. He almost picks up something on the beach, but Katie tells him not to touch it; it’s a tampon. Ugh! This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, since I live near a beach. Anything plastic really.

Lisa goes to the stables to visit Prince Tardon, her new horse. Ariana comes along to go riding with her. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t know if she could have a bigger lady crush on anyone. Me too. She tells Lisa that she talked to Schwartz, and Katie feels guilty. In her interview, Lisa is glad they’re taking her seriously, but they have a lot of work to do. She asks Ariana if she’s ever getting married, but Ariana is not too keen on babies. Lisa says talk to her in five years.

Stassi visits Kristen. She says she’s a recovering serial monogamist, and it’s the first time she’s dated in seven years. She’s going on a blind date tonight, and says he has the best Instagram she’s ever seen – no gym selfies. Kristen wants her to bring condoms, but Stassi says she’s not doing anything on a first date. Kristen thinks she needs to break down the wall she’s put up. I dunno. It looks like she’s doing just fine to me. These days, it probably isn’t a good idea to not have sex right off the bat. To be honest, it probably wasn’t in my day either, but we had fewer STD and STV concerns.

Tom is treating the guys to a spray tan session at Jax’s house. What happened to lunch at a restaurant? On top of it, he calls it a “sesh,” which makes me cringe. Schwartz announces that he and Katie had sex last night. Tom says mission accomplished. Schwartz asks who can get ordained quickly in case Lisa says no. In his interview, he says having Jax do it would be like Lucifer baptizing you.

Stassi meets blind date David. She says it’s like interviewing someone to evaluate if you eventually want to have sex with them. Kinda. They start with some wine and nice to meet yous. It sounds like he does something with computers, and when he tells her that he gets up at 7 am, she nearly has a coronary. Stassi is convinced that she’s pretty because she sleeps late. She talks about feeling pressured with her last relationship, but says maybe she felt that way because he was the wrong person. In her interview, she says that David is the kind of guy she should want to date, but she’s not feeling it. I have to say it, he does seem boring, and I understand why. Sorry, David.

Schwartz brings home some props for the photo shoot. There’s a pig with an apple in his mouth (I assume papier-mâché), a bunch of grapes, and other food items. Schwartz puts a towel over the pig’s head, saying the eyes are following him. Katie goes over the wedding budget. In his interview, Schwartz says Lisa suggested they be in each other’s presence and reaffirm their love, so they’re trying. He tells her that he feels terrible about what happened in Vegas, but she says she wants to leave it behind them. In her interview, she says she has no more doubts about him, and got the answers that she needed. He says he just wants to get take-out and watch Pauly Shore movies with her for the rest of their lives. Really? He’s not sounding much better than David. Worse. At least David has his Instagram going for him. In his interview, Schwartz says his confidence over the wedding has wavered, but in the past few days, they’ve brought back the reason they’re doing it.

Time for the photo shoot. It’s Brittany’s first, and she says she feels like part of the family. Ariana says it’s like the awkward office Christmas party you have to go to, but at this party, she’s naked. That actually sounds like one of those recurring nightmares. A table is set with a sumptuous feast, the pig at the center. Jax thinks they should update the website with the new photos, since they still show Kristen and Stassi, who haven’t worked at SUR for years. Tom has come prepared for anything – formal, casual, bright colors, muted colors. The photographer takes some shots of the girls fully dressed first.

Stassi and Kristen go out for lunch. I don’t know what it is, but it looks good. Thai maybe? Kristen gets a text from the girls about the photo shoot, saying be glad you’re not here. Stassi says her date was nice, but she needs a man. She wants to be the young skank, not be left for the young skank. Kristen thinks she needs someone who has their sh*t together, and in LA, that doesn’t happen until they’re in their 30s. Jax aside. They discuss Katie and Schwartz. Stassi thinks Lisa is smart to hesitate over officiating at the wedding. Then can’t believe she said that.

Photos are taken of Lisa with the guys in formal wear. Katie asks Scheana for tips about the wedding, since she’s never even been in one. Scheana says she feels a little left out; she misses their individual closeness. Katie says she didn’t realize Scheana was feeling excluded, and Scheana is just as important to her as ever. Scheana gets weepy, and tells Katie that she wants to be included.

Lisa sets up a shot of Tom and Ariana, suggesting they fornicate on the table. Only Lisa can get away with using that word. In his interview, Tom instructs us on how to hide an erection if you need to. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ Several photos are taken.

Schwartz and Katie talk privately, although Tom walks past and makes faces at them. Schwartz wonders if they should have a back-up in case Lisa says no. Lisa comes by, and says that’s how she wants to see them, smiling and happy, but not now because they have to get moving. Pictures are taken of Schwartz, Katie and a rose. Lisa is glad they’ve taken her advice to heart.

Brittany tells Jax he looks handsome, but I think he looks uncomfortable. She wonders why he didn’t return the compliment, and he says he told her that she looked pretty twice, and that should be enough. He’s such an oaf. I never even use that word, but it totally applies here.

The group shot is taken at a table with more lavish meal stuff. In her interview, Lisa likes having the photo shoot to document the history of SUR. Giggy! She says it’s like an extended family.

While out to dinner at SUR, Schwartz says he feels like he and Katie have gone through twenty years of relationship in five years. Katie says they looked at each other and their relationship through other people’s eyes, and it changed things. Lisa joins them and asks how they’re doing. Katie says they’ve been paying attention to the small things, like kissing each other good-by. Schwartz asks Lisa what her answer is, and she says now she’ll be happy and honored. She says they deserve each other, but in a good way. They’re both lovely people.

Next time, Lala is back, Stassi gets glamour shots taken, James meets Raquel’s mother, and Jax and Tom cook up a surprise for Schwartz.

🏖  Just a note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching (God help me), but not recapping. Why bother? Sex, fight, rinse, repeat. The really bizarre thing, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t that this is like The Real World  for adults (the more current seasons of The Real World, not the first ones, which were actually interesting), but that they sound like they’re rejects from Vanderpump Rules. They have accents like Valley girls, and one of them even said “gag me with a spoon” tonight. They didn’t move the Hamptons, right? The Hamptons is still on the east coast, right? Where did they get these people? This show frightens me. I could blow the SUR kids off, citing coastal and age differences, again with the exception of Jax, but this group is in their 30s and Long Island is still in New York, right? The antics of this bunch belong in a frat house, and it isn’t even appropriate there. The finale is next week. This has been one long summer.

🍹 Although Kyle did give one of the best quotes ever: I am way to drunk to deal with this right now.

Mar6

March 5, 2017 – Once Returns, Rick Finds Guns & Feud is Fabulous

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

Underneath a bridge, a little girl reads a fairy tale book, then uses the pages to stoke a fire. A young man asks what her story is. She tells him that she ran away and it’s none of his business. He asks her to stop burning the book, and tells her that The Ugly Duckling was his favorite. He says the best fairy tales are about transformation. She says that’s not what it’s about; the duck was always a swan, but didn’t know it. He says it’s about belief; if we believe in something strongly enough, we all have the power to change our fate. He asks if this is the fate she wants.

The little girl tells a desk clerk that her friend brought her there, and her name is Emma Swan.

In the enchanted parallel world, before Emma and Regina can jump into the porthole, Robin holds them up for their jewelry. Some huntsmen ride close by, and Robin jets. Henry leads the pack, and thinks that Emma and Regina crossed the river. Emma tells Regina nothing there is real. The place was created by a wish. Emma thinks she’s found a way back.

David and Hook stroll the streets of Storybrooke. David says they need to give the Evil Queen what she deserves, and he’s not resting until it’s done. Hook says he’s in, but he hopes David knows what he’s doing.

Rumpelstiltskin (as Gold) asks Gideon how this is possible. Gideon says he was in a place where time didn’t move. Gold asks if the Queen harmed him, but he says she toughened him. In all of the dark years, he tried to remember Belle and follow her example. He’s still going to kill Emma though, because he’ll gain her power as Savior. He needs to rid his land of the Black Fairy. He says when he kills Emma, he’ll finally become a hero. He disappears, poof! in a puff of pick-a-color smoke. Okay, I wasn’t looking.

Emma finds Pinocchio, who thought she’d been captured. He asks what happened that she’s in the Enchanted Forest, and she says it’s a long story. He tells her how he desperately wanted to be a real boy, and it only took his father to make it so. He asks what he can do for her, and she tells him to build something to get her out of there. She wonders if he still has the enchanted wardrobe, but he dismantled it years ago. He thinks he can still help. He knows where the grove is that the wood came from, and thinks they might be able to replicate his father’s work. Emma asks Regina what she thinks, but there’s no Regina, only a note. Regina says she knows Robin isn’t real here, but needs to know if he’s better off without her, like everything else in the realm.

Regina looks through the window of the pub, and remembers seeing Robin for the first time. She goes inside and everybody freaks because she’s the Evil Queen. They all run, but Robin asks if she’s going to buy him a drink. He thinks she’s there for the necklace that he stole, but she wants to talk. She asks if he’s happy, and he says she’s a strange one. He tells her that his life is great, he answers to no man and sleeps under the stars. She says he was better off, and he asks why she would care. Before she can say anything, the Sheriff of Nottingham comes in to arrest Robin, and slaps a cuff on Regina. He says Robin comes with a bonus, and tells his men to take her too.

Pinocchio and Emma go to the enchanted grove. Pinocchio checks out his father’s tools, and picks something out. He says that a true wood carver must be in conversation with the tools and materials. Emma pulls out a sword and tells Pinocchio she’s no longer a princess, but a Savior. She explains that her fate is to die while protecting her family.

Hook comes out of nowhere to “rescue” Emma. He’s fat, has grey hair, and looks like an aging Jack Sparrow. Obviously, he wasn’t better off.

In Storybrooke, Gold tells Gideon that it’s lonely. Gideon says that’s his fate. Gold says fate is a tricky business that requires planning. Gideon believes that Gold thinks he isn’t strong enough. Gold says there are things a man learns with time, but Gideon tells him to get lost. He says Gold thinks he knows all about him, but he has no idea. Gold says that Gideon’s life has been full of pain, but if he wants someone to pay, let it be him. He tells Gideon to hit him. Gideon doesn’t do it, and Gold says if he can’t hit his father, how does he expect to kill the Savior? He says he can help, but Gideon says he doesn’t need his help.

Emma tells Hook to let Pinocchio go, and leave the rescue to the professionals. She says she doesn’t need rescuing and Pinocchio easily takes Hook’s sword from him. Hook says there’s a reward for Princess Emma’s return. Pinocchio asks if she knows him, and she says she knows another version of him, and they sort of live together in another world. She knocks Hook out with some magic, and says it’s time to go home and get someone off the rum. Hook disappears, but the tool is broken.

Emma asks if Pinocchio can fix it, but he says he can’t. She says they have other tools, but he says they need magic and he’s not good enough. He says he’s sorry she put her faith in him, and hopes she doesn’t make that mistake again.

Regina and Robin are locked in a cage in the forest. Robin says he’s going to die having accomplished nothing. She says he’s Robin Hood who robs from the rich and steals from the poor. He asks if she’s nuts, and tells her that he just steals from the rich. She finds out that Marion died before they got married. He says there’s no one. She asks if he’s happy. He says if she wants the truth, he hasn’t been happy for a long time. She says he never had love.

The horses begin to rear up and run away. The guards chase them. One approaches the cage and is blown back. Rumpelstiltskin appears. Regina asks him to take the cuff off. He says on one hand she helped him escape, and on the other, the woman he loved starved to death. He dumps out a bag of bones and says that’s her now. Regina assures him that she had nothing to do with that. He says he might not be real, but he has the feeling he can still make her bleed. Yikes.

In real life, David tells Snow he’s sorry he can’t wake her. He promises he’ll find their daughter, bring her home, and fix this. He and Hook try to make a plan. Belle says they’re looking for her son, Gideon. He grew up in another realm, and the experience affected him. She says Rumpel is out looking for him too. David wonders who Rumpel is helping, and Belle says she can stop him, but she doesn’t want anyone harmed. She trusts them, and asks them to trust her. David says when they find Gideon, she can try to get him to listen.

Back in the world of fairies, Rumpel pushes Regina and Robin into a cell, and locks the door. Robin is like, so, I’m living in a fake world created by the wish of a princess who isn’t fake, and I’m a folk hero in another version. Regina is surprised he believes her. He says he doesn’t mind believing that he lives a better life in another world. He asks if he’s a scoundrel there, and she says he’s dead. He asks if the other Robin had a good life before he died. Regina says she thinks and hopes so. He helped a lot of people, and loved his friends and family. And her. Robin says it sounds like a good life, even if it was too short. He tells Regina that he’s not just the world’s greatest thief, and breaks the lock. They leave the cell.

Emma is about to chop at the tree, and spies a carved box with her name on a gift tag tied to it. There’s a carved swan inside. She goes to Pinocchio’s ship and asks him what it is. He tells her happy birthday. He says he always liked swans, and talks about The Ugly Duckling. His father told him that if you believe hard enough in something, you can change your fate. Emma remembers him at the fire, and says, it was you. She says when she was a kid, Pinocchio gave her advice that changed her life. He says she became the swan. She hands him the magic spatula and says he can do this. If he believes he’s a master carpenter, he will be, and his life will change.

Pinocchio chops at the tree. Magic pops out of it, and he says it looks like the swan is going home.

Commercial break. No surprise. It’s for Beauty and the Beast. I’d love to see it on the big screen, but I’ve sworn off any movie below an R rating. The last time I saw something that was PG-13, I felt like I was in the middle of a bus during a field trip, surrounded by the light of phone screens.

Pinocchio builds whatever, and thanks Emma for believing in him. She says his father would be proud. He shows her the finished product – a new enchanted wardrobe. Regina and Robin arrive, and Robin asks if they’re getting back in a tree. Regina tells him sorry for dragging him in. He gives her a feather, saying she’ll have a piece of Robin. She tells him that when her Robin died, there was a feather that was lost. She’d hoped he was in a good place, and thinks somehow, he lives on in this Robin. Emma asks if she wants to bring him as her plus one, but Regina says he’s not real. How can a wish become real? Emma says if Regina believes that any part of Robin is in there, she should bring him, saying that they make their own fate. She did it, and now it’s Regina’s turn. Robin says he’s in. Regina tells him it might not work, but he says it might. She asks if he wants to take the risk, and he says it’s not that great there, so why not go with the woman who was willing to die for another version of him?

Pinocchio opens the door. Emma steps through and Regina thanks him.

In Storybrooke, Emma and Regina come through, but no Robin. Emma says she’s sorry, and Regina asks for a moment alone. While she’s meditating on her sadness, Robin appears. She hugs him. He’d probably hug back, but he has arrows and stuff in his hands. She shows him the town from the top of a hill, officially welcoming him to Storybrooke.

Commercial break. It’s for the Time After Time series premiere. I thought this show had been on already, since there have been ads for it for months. I’m not sure if I’ll get a chance to see it, but I loved the 1979 movie with Malcolm McDowell and David Warner.

Emma strolls down the street, thinking about her vision. Gideon appears and says he’s been waiting. She says she only knows one Gideon, and he’s a lot younger. She asks what he wants, and he attacks her. They battle with their swords. Emma’s sword goes flying, and Gideon has them both. The others run up, and Emma tells them to stay back. Belle tells Gideon that he doesn’t have to do this. He freeze frames everyone. He tells Emma that he’s not going to hurt them, just her. Her hand starts to shake, and he tells her that she’s fated to die. She says not today.

Emma blows Gideon back with magic and holds a blade to his neck. Gold begs her not to kill him. Gideon says he doesn’t need Gold’s help, and disappears. No poof, no smoke, just disappears. Emma is stunned that he was Belle and Rumpel’s baby. They suddenly notice Robin, and Regina explains about the alternate reality. Everyone hugs. We hear a typewriter.

Emma walks in on Pinocchio typing. He says he works in a cabin out there, so his father can sleep. She asks him if he knew it was her when she was little. He says he kept tabs on her for a while. He knew she didn’t belong on the streets, and had to make sure that she did too. Emma sees the book that she was going to burn in a box on Pinocchio’s table. He says when she picked Swan as a last name, it made him happy. He figured she got it, and was on the way to being the person she was supposed to be. She says she thinks she’s on her way to believing she makes her own destiny. He tells her that believing is the first step.

Gold finds Belle on the bridge, and asks if she’s making a wish. She says he succeeded in keeping Gideon from his horrible fate. He says Gideon had the power to make his own choices. He thought Gideon would make the right choice, and even though he was wrong, Gideon may still do it. Gold says that through his whole dark life, he’s sought out light, like her. He doesn’t want Gideon to kill anyone because it’s not the cure for his pain. He doesn’t want that for his son.

Belle says she protected Gideon, knowing what he wanted to do, and it can be easy to rationalize. Gold says, indeed it can. As they’re talking, Gideon is climbing up the stairs inside the clock tower. Belle wonders what they can do. Gold says if there is, they should do it together; not just for them, but for everyone. War is coming to Storybrooke.

Gideon busts out the clock’s face. It shatters everywhere.

Next time, Emma wants to break the curse, David needs a pirate, and Emma wants to know what Hook is hiding.

The Walking Dead

Michonne and Rick comb a house for supplies, gathering anything of value. Down in a van by the river, she thanks him for keeping watch last night. He says they’re getting batteries for the walkie-talkie and getting it to work again. They raid another house, fighting off some zombies. They get busy during a break. Rick is discouraged that all they have are two guns, some dented cans of beans, and some football jerseys, but Michonne says they’re fighting the fight.

They come across a group of Saviors playing golf. They see batteries in the back of their truck.

Back at the van, Michonne tells Rick that they have to get back. Rick wants to stay a little longer, and sounds like a kid who wants to stay up later. Michonne agrees.

Rosita stitches herself up. Tara tells her it’s going to work out. They have the numbers to fight; they just need guns. Rosita asks where they’re going to get them, and says she can’t just wait. Tara says they’ll get the guns and fight. Rosita says it’s not going to be easy; it wasn’t the last time. She says she’s going to find guns.

Rick sleeps while Michonne drives. Rick sleeps while Michonne makes coffee. She sees a deer and tells Rick to shhh! even though he was sleeping. She gets a gun, but the deer is gone. Rick says he owes her a deer. They look around the forest, making so much noise that every deer within miles has disappeared.

They see a fence with a half-fallen tarp on it. Rick bangs on the fence and a soldier zombie stumbles around on the other side. Rick sniffs a bullet casing and they look around. Michonne says something serious happened here a long time ago. Rick says there might be serious guns in there.

Rosita noses around an abandoned house. She starts to go inside, and a Mama June (not hot) type zombie ambles out. She slices mama’s head in half with a machete. She finds a gun, but it’s just a water pistol.

Michonne and Rick go to the top of a building. They see zombie soldiers and civilians wandering around a carnival. Cool! Let’s get those zombies on the Ferris wheel. Rick says there was a fight, and they’re still wearing their guns. Michonne shoots, and ends up doing well at one of the carnival games. Until she and rick fall through the roof. We hear Rick laugh. Because it’s all good when you’re in love.

Rick and Michonne lie there laughing. They look around and find a boatload of food. Some kind off pre-packaged “ready to eat” meals.

Rosita finds Gabriel at the church. She tells him she didn’t find any guns even though she was out there all day. She had a gun, and was going to kill Negan with it. If she’d done it, he’d be dead. Maybe she would too, but who gives a damn? She lists all the people who would still be alive, and says that she’s still there because she was stupid enough to listen to him. She tells him that he doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and he tells her she’s right. He told her not to do what she was planning because they needed her, and they still do. It’s easier to be dead, and if it’s his fault, fine, but he did what he thought was right. He says she can blame him for having life, but what is she going to do with it? Anything is possible until your heart stops beating. Since she can’t argue with that, she walks out.

Michonne and Rick open the boxes, pull out the meals, and dig in. Michonne makes a plan to get the others to fight with them and kill Negan, but she doesn’t know what happens after that. They’ll have to reorder the world once he’s gone. Rick says they’ll figure out how to work together. She thinks he should be in charge, but he doesn’t. She says he’d be good at it, if it’s something he wanted. He says he doesn’t think he would, and he doesn’t want it. He says they could work together, and he wants that, if she does. She says she wants that, and they kiss.

Rick says they can take their time. The place is clear, locked up tight, and they found the only way in. He thinks they should get back. He gives her a package of chili and mac and cheese together. That’s love. The zombies stagger about outside, while Rick and Michonne get busy inside. Honestly, I don’t know how busy I could get, or would want to get, with zombies lurking around several feet away.

Tara babysits Judith. She’s torn between telling Rick about Oceanside or not, and uses Judith as a sounding board. She says that the others should just fight with them, but they only want to hide because they fear the world. But if she tells everyone about Oceanside, it might end up proving their point. She wonders what makes their life worth more than the others, because they want to stop the people who want to hurt other people?

Carnival time! Rick and Michonne watch the zombies from behind a truck. Rick wants to block one of the gaps to make it easier for them. He wants to do it quiet with the sword. Michonne makes a noise, and takes out the zombies one by one as they come her way. Rick grabs a gun from a zombie soldier, who’s wedged halfway through the windshield of a car. Rick tries pulling him out by the feet, and the zombie’s foot comes off. Ha-ha! He pulls some more and the guy’s legs come off. Ha-ha! again. Rick finally gets him out of the windshield glass. Michonne joins him and they push the car toward the gap. He realizes that the breaks don’t work, and all of a sudden there’s gunfire from a soldier zombie. Michonne jumps into the trunk, and Rick steers the car to the opening in the fence. Zombies surround the car and claw at it. Rick says it was a great plan, and Michonne agrees that it was.

They jump off the car and behind some ride barricades. They run through the fairgrounds, the zombies trailing behind. They knock over the test-your-strength game, and it blocks the zombies for a bit. Rick asks if Michonne wants to go, but they both think they can do this. Rick goes in front of the Ferris wheel and coaxes the zombies forward. Michonne does the same thing by the big slide. As the zombies get to the gate, they’re dispatched; heads rolling, eyeballs squishing, blood spurting. Rick sees the deer, and jumps onto the Ferris wheel, climbing up to the top. He’s about to shoot the deer as zombies are coming toward it, and he falls off. Oh crap.

Rick is down, but grabs the gun, and starts shooting the zombies. Michonne runs toward him, gun drawn. When she gets there, she sees the zombies circled around something, eating. She looks sick, and tears roll down her face. She drops her sword. The zombies start to come toward her. She backs away, but she’s not herself.

Like Superman, Rick jumps out of a crate, and throws the sword to Michonne. They slice and dice the zombies. They hug, and Rick says he tried.

They gather up the guns. A lot of guns. Michonne has a moment.

It’s quiet on the ride back, but they got tons of supplies. I’d be hiding some of those somewhere. Rick pulls the van into the forest. He wishes they could have spent more time away. He says he hasn’t been sleeping, thinking about what they’ve lost, and the friends he couldn’t save. He says they went through something, and this doesn’t cure it. Michonne says she’s sorry. He says they’re going to fight them. They’re going to lose people, maybe even each other, but it will be worth it. Michonne says she can’t lose him. Rick says she’d asked him what kind of life they’d have by just surrendering, and it would be no life. Fighting the fight is living, making a future for Judith and the others. He says she can lose him. It’s not about them anymore; it’s about a future. If he doesn’t make it, she’ll have to lead, and she can. She asks how he knows, and he says she led him there.

Back at the Heapsters heap, Jadis asks if the guns are all operational. Rick says they need cleaning up. There are over sixty guns, but Jadis says it’s not enough. Rosita suggests they leave and take their guns with them. Jadis says no, and they haggle. Jadis gets to nine and they get the cat back, and Rick says twenty, and they fight together. Jadis says yes, and if they get more soon, they’ll fight. Everyone wanders around looking like they’re doing something important. Michonne tells Rick they have a few more days before what happens next. They’ll figure it out in a few more days.

Back in Alexandria, Tara is looking for Rick. He asks if she’s okay, and if she’s seen Rosite, who hasn’t shown up for her shift. Tara suggests that maybe she went out looking for more guns. She says she has something to tell Rick.

Rosita stomps through the streets, and sees Sasha at Abe’s grave. She says she needs Sasha’s help. Sasha says under one condition – she gets to take the shot. Rosita agrees. She asks if Rosita brought explosives, but Rosita felt that was taking too much of a chance. She has something better. She brings out a bazooka, and hands it to Sasha, so she can take her shot. Rosita says that Rick and Michonne found guns and the Heapsters wanted more guns. She thinks that means more excuses. She tells Sasha that she’s memorized what Carl and Daryl told Rick about the Saviors’ camp. Sasha says she has a map that Jesus drew for her. They discuss how they can’t be caught alive, and it’s a one way ticket for both of them.

Next time, Ezekiel rises up, Carol emerges, and there are lots more guns.

💣 Feud: Bette and Joan is perfection! The casting couldn’t be better, and the topic couldn’t be more current. For all the equality whining going around, not many people talk about how ageist our society is, and the scope is even narrower for actresses in Hollywood. Way back when, Joan Crawford recognized this, and brought the novel, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? by Henry Farrell, to Bette Davis’s attention, thinking it was the perfect vehicle for them both. Being no slouch in the brains department herself, Bette agreed, the rest is history, and their feud is legendary.

While both women are gone from this world, so there’s no one to confirm or deny, this interpretation of their relationship shows an almost softer side. While hating each other on a certain level, neither could deny the other’s talent or their admiration for it. Although “frenemy” wasn’t a term back then, they were the perfect example of it.

The cast is chock full of exceptional actors and actresses, like Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, and Stanley Tucci. I was also pleasantly surprised to see Jackie Hoffman playing Mamasita, Joan’s right hand person. I recognized her right away, pointing and shouting “Penny’s mother!” at the TV, as I’d seen her on Broadway in Hairspray.

And lest we not forget one star of any period drama – the clothes and props. So far, I’m enthralled. One of my favorite things in the world are those brocade dresses with matching coats that were so popular in the 1960s. My favorite Barbie outfit will forever be Evening Splendor. (However, I would not have paired the green/blue bag with this.)

barbieeveningsplendor

Mar4

March 3, 2017 – Nelle’s Plan Implodes & Three Not-So-Blind Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason goes to Sam’s room. He sees that she’s on a ventilator.

Jordan wants everyone looking for Olivia-J. She has patrol cars stationed near where Alexis’s daughters live. Alexis asks about Julian, but Jordan isn’t sure if he’s a victim or an accomplice.

Olivia-J takes a heavy bag out of her car trunk in the hospital parking garage. She says she knows it was a bumpy ride, but it was a ride, and more than he deserves. Julian is also in the trunk.

Anna asks Robin what’s troubling her.

Carly says she sees it’s true that Nelle couldn’t be selfless, and wouldn’t have voluntarily donated a kidney. She regrets any pity she wasted. Nelle says maybe she is horrible, but it’s not her parents’ fault; it’s Carly’s. Carly says all she ever did was buy into Nelle’s act, but Nelle says that Carly got what she deserved.

Sonny asks what Nelle is talking about. He says the psycho pulled him into this, and he wants to know why. He asks what Carly did. Carly says no good deed goes unpunished, and Sonny says you don’t go to all that trouble without a goal in mind. Michael adds that he’d like to know too. Nelle says her real last name is Benson. It was also Carly’s last name, but they have more in common than that. Carly says, omg, Nelle is Frank Benson’s daughter.

Robin brings Anna up to speed about Sam, and tells her that Sam is in a coma now. She did her best to comfort Jason, but sometimes it’s not enough. Doctors are just people, and at the end of the day, it can come down to guesswork and hoping you get lucky. Anna says she’s sorry that she’s been sulking and not paying attention to what Robin might be going through.

Julian tells Olivia-J to leave his family alone. She’s like, what? Can’t hear you with that tape over your mouth. A guy asks if he can help her. The guy is Griff.

Jordan tells Alexis that it wouldn’t be the first time Julian manipulated events. Alexis tells her about the safe deposit box. Jordan says she’ll speak to a judge, and there shouldn’t be a problem getting a warrant to open it. Monica calls Alexis. She says Scout is fine, her vitals are good and her appetite is even better, but Sam had complications from surgery and is in a coma.

Jason talks to Sam. He says he heard she had a rough time in surgery. He tells her that most people wouldn’t have survived the fall, but she’s not most people. He calls her a little phoenix, and says she’ll rise above. He says she’s the strongest person he’s ever met, and he needs her to be strong for him now. He’s afraid, and he’s never been afraid like this. He asks her to open her eyes or squeeze his hand. He’s not strong enough to do this without her. He begs her to look at him. I’d read at some point that fans weren’t really liking this Jason and Steve Burton was coming back, but I think this Jason is great, and I wasn’t that crazy about Steve Burton. Whether it was him as an actor or that the character wasn’t very likable at the time, I’m not sure.

Nelle says Frank Benson was her father too. Carly says he never gave a damn about his kids or Virginia, and took off, leaving them with a bunch of debt. She asks if that’s what he did to Nelle’s family too. Nelle says he tried his best, but when her mother died, he wasn’t good with money. Carly says he meant nothing to her, and she didn’t owe him a dime, although he’d tried to get money from her from time to time. Nelle says until Josslyn got sick, and Carly demanded a kidney.

Jordan brings Ava into the office. She wants to know about Ava’s sister, Olivia-J.

Griff asks if Olivia-J needs help. She says she’s bringing some books to a friend in the hospital, but knows her way around since she used to live in Port Charles. I dunno. I’ve lived in my town for over twenty years and don’t know my way around the hospital. Olivia says Griff looks strangely familiar. She asks if they’ve met before.

Robin tells Anna she has a protocol in place. She talks about how terrified she was, and how precious Anna is to her. Anna says Robin is precious to her too, especially now that she’s been reminded of her mortality. At times like these, she wishes that Robin had a sibling, so didn’t have to face this alone. Robin says maybe she’s actually lucky, but she’s thought about it too. She asks if Anna ever thinks about the children she’s lost. Anna says sometimes, and holds them in her heart. She thinks about the dreams she might have had for them. She talks about the babies she’s lost, and how she would have had Duke’s baby if it weren’t for Olivia-J.

Alexis runs into the hospital. Monica tells her that at one point Sam coded. She’s stabilized now, but unresponsive. They have her on a ventilator and she’s being monitored. Alexis asks about the baby, and Monica says she’s fine. She asks if Alexis wants to see her, but Alexis wants to check on Sam first. She looks through the door window and sees Jason. He tells Sam how pretty the baby is, and that she’s here because of Sam.

Alexis walks into the room. Jason says Sam was in the snow a long time, and when he found her she was in labor, but the baby is fine. Alexis says the police are looking for Olivia-J. She says Sam’s father put her in danger, and didn’t even warn her. Jason leaves, and Alexis tells Sam that mom’s here.

Ava asks why Jordan cares about a dead woman. Jordan says they have reason to believe Olivia-J is alive and involved in a criminal conspiracy with Julian.

Olivia-J tells Griff that there’s something about his eyes. She feels like she knows him deep in her soul. He asks if she was in Port Charles in the late 80s  or early 90s, and that maybe she knew his father, Duke.

Sam tells Anna that Duke worshiped the ground she walked on. She just wanted them to get married already, but they kept going back and forth. Anna says the life had a hold on him, and even when he tried to get out, the Jeromes had a grip on him. Life can turn on a dime. There she was pregnant with his baby, and their lives were ahead of them. Olivia-J rigged an elevator to crash, and when it, did no more baby.

Carly insists the thought never crossed her mind to ask Frank for a kidney. Nelle says that Carly called her father, and when she asked for a kidney, Frank gave her Nelle’s. Carly says they’d thought the donor was Jake Webber. Nelle says that was a smokescreen for the truth. Michael asks if there’s any documentation, since it’s just Frank’s word against Carly’s. Sonny says she screwed up their lives for a lie. Nelle says whatever she did, Carly did it first. Carly lied about who she was when she came to town, and slept with her mother’s husband. Now Nelle slept with hers. Nelle says, “What goes around, comes around, bitch,” and Carly slaps her.

Jason wishes he knew how to help Sam, but thinks it’s up to her. His sentence is cut off by a commercial. Thanks, ABC.

Carly says that Nelle should have gotten her facts straight. Nelle says maybe Carly didn’t know it would be her kidney, but she didn’t care. Sonny says it wasn’t Carly that screwed her over, it was her father.

Jordan tells Ava that it appears Olivia-J is alive, and it sounds like it was her on the recording. Ava whines about false imprisonment. Jordan says if she wants to get out, spill the beans. Ava says she doesn’t know anything. All she remembers is Julian saying that Olivia was a whack-job, unstable, compulsive and obsessive, and she wanted power. Jordan asks obsessive about what, and Ava says, whom. She tells Jordan that Olivia stalked Duke relentlessly, and that Jordan should be talking to Anna.

Anna tells Robin that Olivia-J thought she was the obstacle between her and Duke who needed to be removed, and she almost succeeded. Robin says she’s sorry, and Anna says she never thinks about it. She says Olivia tried to make amends, but there are some things you can’t fix. Robin suggests talking about something more cheerful, and asks Anna if she sent a layette set for the new baby. Anna says she did, but what is Robin not telling her?

Griff asks if Olivia-J knew Duke. Olivia says she knew his name because he’d owned a big nightclub, but they never met. Griff says maybe he has one of those faces. He tells her to take care. When he’s gone, she asks how Julian could keep Duke having a son from her.

Jason tells Sam that in every crisis you think of something different. He talks about trying to find her, and how dark it was because it was cloudy. By the time he got to the bridge, he didn’t know if she’d been in the snow for too long. He had a strange thought about the star necklace he’d once given her, and the clouds opened enough for the stars to show through and give light. When he got to her, she was so cold and tired, she wanted to give up, but she wasn’t going to let the baby down. He remembered the night she was shot while she ran to him, and how guilty he still feels, and how Danny was never supposed to be there.  He says she’s become a fiercely protective and nurturing mother, and his best friend. He doesn’t deserve this type of happiness, but is too selfish to give it up. He needs her to fight, because he and the kids love her.

Alexis brings in the baby, saying Scout wants to see her mother.

Sonny tells Nelle that it’s easier to believe a lie than face the truth, and Carly calls her a liar and a user. Sonny says that he can’t feel sorry for her. She’s a spoiled, vindictive brat, who has no idea what she messed with. She says somebody had to make Carly pay. Michael says he can understand that she was a kid and wanted to believe her father, but she got to know his family. No one lied or abused her. Carly bent over backwards with gratitude. Did it occur to her to question her father’s version of the story? Carly says that Nelle was too busy trying to trash her life and take her down, and that better women have tried.

Robin tells Anna that she has a suspicious nature. Well, yeah. The big secret is that she’s exhausted. Anna asks why she doesn’t go home and rest. Robin says because her mother won’t listen to the doctors. Anna says that’s emotional blackmail and promises that she will. Griff walks in. Robin says she’s going to get some rest, and Anna promises to stay in bed, but she’s a spy, so to call if she goes back on her word.

Anna tells Griff that she goes back and forth, feeling sorry for herself, and having gratitude that it isn’t worse. She feels lucky for all the support. Jordan pops in. She asks Anna for anything she remembers about Olivia-J.

Olivia-J says Julian didn’t tell her about Griff, and he says he was too busy taking her orders. She wonders what other secrets he’s keeping. Just when she was thinking about trusting him, she can’t. Maybe she should just cut her losses.

Tiny Scout! Jason takes Scout to Sam, and tells Scout that her mommy loves her more than Scout can understand. He places the baby near Sam. Sam moves her hand toward the baby, and opens her eyes. Jason tells her welcome back.

Carly says she should have seen it coming, but she wanted to believe that Nelle was sweet and selfless, when Nelle is really a snake who got her chance when Morgan died. She used their grief to sabotage them. She’s right; what goes around, because the pain Nelle caused is coming for her like a runaway truck. Sonny seconds that. He says she made a bad enemy. In the hallway, Carly tells Sonny that she wants to beat Nelle silly, but what’s the point? What’s done is done. Sonny says she took advantage of their grief. Carly says it worked; he slept with her. For real. IMO, Sonny is more accountable here. I’m not excusing Nelle, but she’s very young and believed a lie (maybe, we don’t really know yet), while Sonny should have known better than to keep everything to himself.

Nelle tells Michael she tried to stop it. That’s why she was in a hurry to get back from the cabin. She knew that she was on the road to her future, and for a while, she thought it would be beautiful and with him. He says she was wrong and so was he. He thought she couldn’t play chess, but she’s been playing the entire time. She screwed his father, and took advantage of Morgan’s death. She played to win. He tells her enjoy the victory, reminding me of John telling Diana pretty much the same thing in V. I half-expect Michael to add, “queen of your poisoned planet.”

Alexis says Sam is her best friend, and they’re all, I love you. She thanks Scout for waking Sam up. She’s sure that Scout will do that again, but in a less dramatic way. She leaves. Jason tells Sam to stop crying, and says that she’s incredible. Sam says Scout is a fighter, and just when Sam was about to give up, Jason came. He says they’re lucky, and Sam corrects him, saying they got a miracle.

Anna tells Jordan that she was just talking about Olivia-J. Griff asks who she is, and Anna says that she’s Julian’s sister. Anna tells him that she’s dead, but she and Duke knew Olivia back in the day. Griff leaves, and Anna says that Olivia is like a curse; say her name three times and she appears. She tells Jordan that’s a joke; she’s dead. Jordan says maybe not. New evidence has come to light, and they have reason to believe she’s still alive.

Olivia-J goes on about not knowing Duke had a son, and that Julian has never given her what she needs. She says she’ll deal with him later, and slams the trunk, adding that she has more important things to do. She picks up the bag, and sees Robin, who says, omg, it’s you.

On Monday, Valentin asks Nina if she can present a united front with him, Olivia-J tells Robin that she’s back and better than ever, and Franco and Elizabeth get a scare.

Quotes of the Week

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I’ll thank you not to use that language around me. – Dexter, from Dexter in the Dark by Jeff Lindsay

It’s so hard when you’re young to look at older people and understand that they have been where you are. It’s the weirdest thing. You just can’t get your head around that, can you? You can’t get your head around the fact that someone who is 60 was once 16, if you’re 16. But the fact is they have been, and they remember it. They know what it was like. — Helen Mirren, The Arizona Republic

No one forgets the truth, they just get better at lying. – April (Kate Winslet), Revolutionary Road

Something to send you off on your weekend with…

psychedelicunicorn

Mar3

March 2, 2017 – Nelle’s Dirty Deed is Exposed, Small Chefs, Mark Twain & My Dad

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Tracy is treating Finn and Hayden to dinner. Hayden seems annoyed, and Tracy asks them to postpone their lovers’ spat. She has no one else to celebrate with, so they’re stuck with each other.

Laura wakes up at JFK. Long term parking?

At the hospital, Elizabeth stops Jason from scuffling with Franco.

Carly tells Sonny the whole time he knew about Nelle, and he could have stopped it any time. He asks if she would have forgiven him, and she says he didn’t give her that chance, so they’ll never know. That hurts worse than him sleeping with Nelle to begin with. I totally understand this, since I’ve been on the receiving end of someone making an assumption that I won’t understand, and in doing that, not even giving me a chance to. Carly says there’s nothing she wants him to say or do at this point. She opens the door, and Michael and Nelle are standing there. Michael asks if something happened, and Carly says you could say that

Laura hears the car alarm go off. She sees the car door opening and screams, but it’s Doc.

Finn asks if anyone has heard from Laura. Tracy says not since she said she’d be early to the meeting, and left Obrecht to decide their fate. She tells Finn and Hayden that they’re as much fun as a spoonful of botulism.

Carly wonders where to begin. Michael says he’s in a hurry, since he’s going to Atlanta with Nell; she has to see a sick friend. Carly asks if it’s the friend who talked to Felicia, and if Nelle was going to keep Michael away so Carly couldn’t tell him. Michael asks what’s going on. Sonny steps in. He says that last Thanksgiving, he got so drunk he couldn’t see straight, and he slept with Nelle.

Robin asks Franco what happened, and he says he wasn’t doing anything except helping with Sam. He tells Jason he’s welcome, and walks away. Jason says it’s not his fault,and tells Robin what happened. She’s shocked Olivia-J is alive. She asks if the police know. Jason says yes, but doesn’t know if they’ve caught her yet. He says she pushed Sam off the footbridge, and Sam fell down the incline. She was out in the snow all night, and when he found her, she was in labor. Elizabeth comes out with an update on Sam.

Hayden says it’s been a long day, and she’s still shocked that Finn would sell his patent without legal counsel. She can’t help but wonder what part of his soul he had to sell to save the hospital. He says the contract included arranging for a low cost generic version of the drug to be made, so that the people in underdeveloped countries will be able to acquire it. Hayden asks how he managed that, and he tells her that he advised the pharm guy how to repurpose the drugs, and it allowed him to get what he wanted in the end. He says it’s given him a reason to stay in Port Charles, which has grown on him. Tracy makes a toast to the both of them. She says if two such flawed and unusual people can find love, there’s hope for all of us.

Elizabeth tells Jason that Scout should be fine. She says she heard he performed miracles. Jason says it wasn’t easy, but Scout finally came around. Elizabeth says that Sam’s issues are more complicated; there appears to be internal bleeding. She says she’ll keep them posted. Franco overhears. Jason and Robin leave, and Franco asks Elizabeth if Sam is going to be okay. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know, and asks for help with some nurse stuff. He says he can’t believe he’s saying this, but he feels badly for Jason. He knows how he would feel if it was Elizabeth.

Sonny says he’s not proud of this. He was drunk and grieving. Nelle came by to check on him, and the next thing he knew, she was in his bed. It was a mistake on his part, but she knew what she was doing. He wanted her to keep the secret, since the family was in pain already. She said she would, and she recorded their conversation. He asks Nelle if she was going to blackmail him. Michael says it doesn’t make sense, and Carly agrees. She came to think of Nelle as a daughter, and Nelle ended up in Sonny’s bed. She asks if Nelle felt good about getting over on her. She can’t understand how she got things so wrong, and says Nelle is one hell of a blackmailer. Nelle starts to leave, but Michael stops her, and says she has one chance to explain.

Michael says he believes his parents. Carly says the recording is right there. Nelle can’t believe that Carly went through the trash, but Carly says she’ll do a helluva lot more when someone messes with her family. Michael asks why Nelle did it. Nelle says she’s sorry, and he asks if this is why she was talking the way she was about being a bad person. She tells him she’d already set something in motion and tried to stop it. Carly says she listened to every word, and Sonny says she planned this all along. She saw he was in a dark place, and helped him get more drunk. It was a plan to get him in bed and record the conversation; then she left a trail with the flowers and the bra. Nelle says she decided not to go through with it. Carly asks if blackmail was on the agenda. She’d already slept with Sonny; what was she planning? Nelle says Michael deserves to know what happened.

Laura tells Doc that she doesn’t know how she got there. He asks what’s the last thing she remembers. She tells him she was supposed to meet Lulu at the MetroCourt, but she canceled. She drove to the hospital, and the last thing she remembers is being in the garage, and then she woke up at the airport.  Doc asks if she was unconscious, but she’s not sure. She panics about the meeting, but Doc tells her the hospital is up and running. He says she lost some hours, and she wonders what happened to her. She has no idea why she’s there.

Finn tells Tracy and Hayden that he has to discuss a case with someone in California, and needs to make a call. Harden says, nice euphemism. When he’s gone, Tracy tells Hayden that she’s very edgy for someone who just emerged victorious from a hospital takeover. Hayden says she’s worried and scared. Finn is addicted to Zen Zen. Why? Why did they have to give it a name that sounds like it’s either a mint or the latest fast food sandwich? Or maybe a cartoon cat.

Franco talks to Jake. I think it’s Jake anyway. What happened to that other Jake who seemed like the girl in The Bad Seed? Franco tells Jake that he has a little sister. Jake wonders why Jason didn’t call him. Franco says he’s still at the hospital, and it’s complicated. Jake thinks Sam and the baby aren’t okay.

Jason calls Alexis, and tells her that Sam is in surgery. Robin brings him some coffee. He tells her that he was calling Alexis and needs to call his partner. He’s been working with someone on finding out who killed Morgan. Robin asks if he thinks it’s Olivia-J, and he says he’s had enough of her name for now. Robin tells him that she was at the hospital to see her mom, and heard about the hospital save. She says Anna is improving, but she doesn’t want to tell her about Olivia yet; it would just have a negative impact. Elizabeth returns, and tells Jason they’re doing everything they can, but Sam is critical.

Doc tells Laura her pulse is fine, but her pupils are dilated. He thinks she was drugged, and asks if she remembers anything out of the ordinary before she woke up. She says she talked to Alexis at the MetroCourt. After Alexis left, there was a guy who knocked her purse over, and he was nice, but did say said something about her coffee. Why light bulbs aren’t going on all over the place, I’m not sure. She wonders why anyone would drug her, and Doc says there was a lot at stake with the hospital vote. Maybe somebody didn’t want her voting. Laura asks how he found her, and he tells her that she texted him.

Tracy tells Hayden that Finn’s behavior has been erratic, and it did occur to her. Hayden says she talked to him, and he used the ELQ jet to get drugs in Canada. Tracy says she should string him up. Hayden says he’s been altruistic and caring one minute, and the next he’s crazy. She asks how she can have a relationship with someone she doesn’t know. Tracy says the real issue is that it will kill him. He won’t face it, so they have to.

Elizabeth says Sam coded, and Robin explains to Jason that her heart stopped, but that doesn’t mean she’s dying. She tells him that patients code more than people know, but he has to trust the doctors. He has to trust Sam too; she knows her kids and Jason need her. Jason says his wife might not make it. He couldn’t protect her, and nothing is helping. Robin says he could pray. He can imagine them happy and whole – what some people call a visualization, she calls faith. It’s been her most valuable ally, and given her a future. It will give him one too. She takes his hand and says they’ll do it together.

Michael asks Nelle to explain. Carly wants to play the audio. Nelle says she threw it away. Michael says he saw the flowers, and he knows his father would never send flowers to a woman he was having an affair with, and this wasn’t even an affair; it was only once. Carly says there’s no question that Nelle set Sonny up, but Sonny left them vulnerable. He did that. Sonny says he was out of his mind when Morgan died, consumed with finding who killed him. Nelle was the least of his problems, and by the time he paid attention, it had already been put in motion. Carly says every day he looked at her and kept quiet, so what Nelle wanted, he helped her to get.

Michael says it’s Nelle’s last chance. If she has anything to say, say it now. Maybe she would if anyone would give her a chance. I’d like to know too.

Finn comes back all chatty. He wants to make a toast. Tracy says what they’re going to do, is talk about him and Zen Zen.

Franco tells Jake that Sam is sick, but she’s a strong woman. Jake looks out the window, and Franco asks what’s on his mind. Jake says that all last year, he was mean to Sam. Franco says she forgave him, and knows he was just going through a tough time. Jake says maybe she’s going through a tough time too; she has a bad curse on her.

Jason and Robin check out Scout. At least she looks like a newborn. I hate when someone has just had a baby and it looks like it’s about 25 pounds. Robin says Sam will make it, and Jason has to trust her. He says when he’s holding Scout, he starts thinking about their life, and can’t figure out how he got there. He was alone, no memories, nothing to lose, and now he has everything to lose. Robin tells him everything to love and fight for, and that it takes courage to love and open your heart. He says he loves Sam so much, but not long ago, he thought he was incapable of those feelings. A new world opened up. Sam held it together, and made him a better man and father, and now he’s afraid.

Michael asks Nelle if any part of their friendship was real, and to tell him now. She says that’s why she didn’t want them to get close, but he was caring and kind, and she found herself wanting to spend time with him. At the cabin, he made her believe she didn’t have to be bad and angry. She wanted to stop what she had in motion, but Bobbie had already told Carly, and it was too late. So she decided to run, but when he wanted to come along, she thought she would have the chance to make him understand. She starts to cry, and says she’s sorry. Carly says, tears, right on time. She says Nelle is good up until someone figures out her game. Sonny wants to know the point. Carly doesn’t want crap excuses, and calls Nelle a scheming piece of trash, whose kidney ended up in her daughter, so she decided to ride gravy train. She wishes that Josslyn didn’t have Nelle’s cold blood running inside of her. Wow.

Doc tells Laura that she told him to come to JFK, and then he tracked her with an app. She says he’s a genius. He says no, but he’s touched; even in her stupor, she reached out to him. They kiss. Because now is the perfect time to be goofing around, and not getting the hell out of there.

Finn asks why Hayden would do this to him. Tracy says she’s worried and doesn’t want him to die. He says he told her he’d get help. Tracy asks when that was going to happen; when he got stopped at the border? She tells him that he won’t be using the jet again either. He says he’s never been that far gone, and she wonders how he knows. He tells her that he’s got it under control and will quit. He says he promised Hayden, and wants her to tell Tracy that he’ll be fine. He tells them both to back off. Tracy asks if she seems like the back off type. She tells him that if he doesn’t quit immediately, she’ll make his life a living hell, and Hayden says she will too.

Carly says Nelle kept saying she would never choose to give up a kidney. The truth is that whether she’s deeply damaged or psychotic, whatever her parents did to her, this isn’t their fault. Nelle says she doesn’t blame her parents. She blames Carly.

Franco asks Jake why someone would put a curse on Sam. He tells Franco that it was Helena. Helena said that if she died, Sam would have problems, and it looks like she was right.

Elizabeth tells Jason that Sam is out of surgery and in ICU. She urges him to go see her.

Tomorrow, Monica tells Alexis that Sam is in a coma, Griff crosses paths with Olivia-J, and Nelle tells Carly what goes around comes around. And hopefully explains this whole thing.

🍗 MasterChef Junior continues to amaze, delight, and make me wish I could cook as well as an eight-year-old. Mayim Bialik paid the kids a visit tonight, and they created vegan burgers for her. Dammit! Maybe I should have had kids. These dogs won’t even boil an egg for me.

🎉 A Spontaneous Mardi Gras Quote

 It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans. — Mark Twain  I have the feeling that Mark did not possess any talent of foreseeing the future, since it pretty much looks like a drunken nightmare covered in beads. I’m also fairly certain that a lot of the locals hide the way New Yorkers hide from Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

🎊 True story: When my father was in the Navy in the 1940s, he went to Mardi Gras when he was on leave. He told me he went into a bar, and the next thing he knew, they were sweeping the streets. So much for Fat Tuesday.

 

Mar2

March 1, 2017 – Jason to the Rescue, Some Star, a Feud & No Cosmo

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Franco and Elizabeth bask in the afterglow. Have they been doing it all this time??? They make silly pillow talk. Elizabeth’s phone rings. It’s Monica with the good news that GH has been saved.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he failed her. She doesn’t have GH, the one thing she truly needed. She pulls out her switchblade and says she blames him. I wish they’d lose the switchblade. This isn’t West Side Story and it doesn’t work for her.

Curtis busts into Jordan’s office. He starts to talk, but Alexis comes running in behind him and interrupts. She asks if Curtis told Jordan, and he says he was about to. He tells Jordan that the person responsible for planting the bomb is Julian’s older sister, Olivia Jerome.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s a crappy brother. Ha-ha! He failed at killing her, and failed at GH. She has to threaten to kill everyone he loved to get him to help her. He thinks that makes her a crappy sister. She says then he tried to kill her again – that’s strike three. I get the distinct impression that these two are having a hard time keeping it together during this scene.

Michael asks Nelle what happened, and she says she’s done something terrible.

We revisit Carly telling Sonny that they wouldn’t want to offend Nelle, but it offends her that Sonny screwed Nelle. Sonny admits he slept with Nelle.

Scout is fine, but not so much Sam. She keels over after seeing that the baby is okay.

Jordan is shocked that Olivia-J is alive. Alexis says she goes by Liv something-or-other now. Alexis thinks that she did something to Sam, and explains what happened. She tells Jordan that she met “Liv” this afternoon, and she had a bruise on her face, then Sam’s phone showed up in Alexis’s purse. Jordan says it’s enough for her. Alexis says that Olivia has been hiding in plain sight. Jordan asks if Julian knows, and Curtis says he thinks Julian has been taking orders from her for a while now.

Olivia-J whines about all the work she’s done, and thinks she should go in a different direction. Julian says he’s on board.

Elizabeth tells Franco that the sickout worked; the hospital found another solution. He wonders about his job, and she says she’ll find out the details. He says he’s coming with her.

Michael tells Nelle that they can fix it, and she says not “we.” Before she can say anything else, Monica approaches and thanks him for everything he did. His stalling gave them time to save the hospital. She leaves, and Nelle asks how he saved GH. He says a miracle happened, and tells her about what Finn did, giving his patent proceeds to the hospital. Michael says that he tap-danced for 15 minutes, and never talked about nothing for so long. Nelle says he’s a good person. He says she is too, but she says she’s not, and that’s why she has to go away.

Sonny tells Carly that on Thanksgiving he was drowning in his own pain. He thought she was getting back with Jax, and wouldn’t have anything to do with him. She says it’s not like it was just once, and tells him she saw the flowers he sent. He says they weren’t from him. She says she has proof, and plays the audio file. Um…that isn’t proof of anything except that he did what he said he did. Sonny says he was set up from the start.

Jason tells Sam that the ambulance is on its way, but he needs her to wake up. She rallies, and asks about the baby. Jason shows her that Scout is fine.

Monica welcomes Elizabeth back, and tells her how Finn saved the hospital. She wants things up and running asap, and asks if Elizabeth will do the graveyard shift. Franco wants to know when he’s back on the schedule. Monica says probably never.

Nelle says that she told Michael that she was a bad person. He asks her to be more specific. She says she has a sick friend in Atlanta. He asks why she should be ashamed of that, and she says her friend begged her to come back, but she didn’t because she was being selfish. She says her friend is worse, and she feels guilty. She’s been doing the wrong thing for too long, and has to go back to Atlanta. Michael says he’s going with her.

Sonny asks if Carly thinks that Nelle just happened to have a recording. Carly says that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Sonny says a recording doesn’t just happen; Nelle is playing the both of them. She says it sounded like Nelle wanted to come clean and he stopped her. Carly says she’s a liar and a cheat, just like him, but she doesn’t want to talk about Nell; she wants to talk about him. She asks how he could do this to them and their marriage.

Jason tells Sam to hang on. She begs him not to leave her, and he promises he won’t. He says her kids need her, and he’s going to get her out of there. She says she’s tired, and starts fading.

Franco says he knows he’s done some unforgivable things to Monica’s family. Monica says she’ll probably never forgive him, but if she thought that he was a danger, she wouldn’t have let him work at the hospital in the first place. She says there’s enough to keep the hospital running, but a lot of services have to be dropped, including art therapy. He says he has bills to pay, and she says there are other positions open; otherwise, good luck. He looks at the job sheet, but finds nothing appropriate. Elizabeth says maybe he should go back to being an artist full time, but he tells her that’s not an option.

Michael tells Nelle they’ll have time talk and be together. Nelle says if she had more time, she could explain things, but they have to go now. He says he’ll reserve the jet. She gets nervous about him calling the office.

Sonny says he thought Carly wasn’t coming back, and he was down about Morgan. Carly says she was too. He says he thought she went back to Jax. He doesn’t blame her, since she thought he was responsible for Morgan’s death. He did too. She asks if he’s saying that he had a weak moment. He says he was wrong and made a mistake, but Nelle didn’t. He says if she made the recording, that means she was going to use it. So she was setting the both of them up.

Sam lies down again. She tells Jason to take the baby and go. He says she’ll have to hold Scout, and he’s going to carry them, but she can’t go back to sleep. Waiting for the ambulance isn’t an option since it’s already been two days. He gives Scout to her, and picks them up. Wow. He-man Jason. I’m not saying that Sam is heavy, but the wall is steep and slanted.

Julian tells Olivia-J that if she wants to build condos, he’ll help her. They can find another hospital to buy. She says it was never about that. It wasn’t even about getting real estate. It was about getting this specific piece of real estate. He asks what’s important about GH, and she says it’s not GH, it’s what lies beneath the hospital. Oooh, I’m intrigued. Is it a Chinese burial ground? That might explain whatever possessed them to make Alan into a ghost for a while.

Alexis tells Jordan that, whatever their relationship in the past, Julian is terrified of Olivia-J now. Jordan says if Alexis can get Olivia to call her, they can get her location. Alexis says she won’t pick up. Curtis says if Alexis were to have a crisis, as her sponsor, Olivia would be her first call. She doesn’t even know if Alexis found the phone. Alexis says whatever they want. She just wants to find Sam.

Miraculously, Jason gets Sam and Scout up to the bridge. Sam passes out. The sirens get closer. Jason calls out for help.

Julian asks what lies beneath GH. Olivia-J’s phone rings. It’s Alexis. Olivia says that Alexis must have found what was in her purse. Julian asks if it was a purse bomb. Both Olivia and I laugh. She tells him she put Sam’s phone in Alexis’s bag. Alexis calls again. Olivia wonders if she’s trying to confront her or trick her. Julian says only one way to find out, and if she’s smart, she’ll answer. He says if it is a trap, she might want to think about leaving town. Olivia answers.

Alexis acts all panicked, and says she needs to see Olivia-J right away. Olivia might be her only hope.

Elizabeth tells Franco that it’s going to be okay. He takes the list from the bulletin board.

Michael tells Monica that he’s taking Nelle to visit a sick friend. Nelle asks to borrow Michael’s phone. She steps around the corner and says that she just needs a few hours alone with Michael, far away.

Carly asks Sonny if he thinks that it’s her fault, since she’s the one who invited Nelle in. She says Nelle is her daughter’s kidney donor. Sonny says he didn’t say it was her fault. She asks if he stopped for a second to think about what he was throwing away. He says he blacked out, and when he woke up, Nelle was lying next to him. All he could think about was how badly he was going to hurt Carly, so he went against his instincts and covered it up. He says he played right into Nelle’s hands and he’s sorry.

Olivia-J tells Alexis it sounds serious. Alexis says that she’s having a crisis; no one can find Sam. She says she’s in front of a liquor store, and asks if Olivia can meet her. Olivia says that she can’t, and Alexis isn’t working her program. Her only hope is her higher power. Olivia tells her to find a meeting, and hangs up. She tells Julian that Alexis is on to them. She says that Alexis told her she was in front of a liquor store, but there were no background noises. She says they need to regroup, wrap things up, and move on to the next level.

Jordan got the location. She tells Alexis and Curtis to stay there. The second Jordan is gone, Curtis asks Alexis if she wants to follow with him.

Nelle hurries Michael out of the hospital.

Carly says even if Sonny only slept with Nelle once on Thanksgiving, he’s been keeping it from her for months. Sonny says he’s known something about Nelle since before Christmas. She wanted Carly to figure it out. He asks about the flowers. Carly says they were sent to Nelle at work, and the card was signed with an S. He asks how long she’s known him, and if she thinks he’d do something like that. Seriously. Why would Carly even entertain the notion that Sonny would be that stupid? He says the day Carly had Nelle go up to the bedroom, she planted her bra in the bed. Carly is like, huh? He says he straightened out the bed and found it. He went to Nelle and confronted her. He told her to back off, and that’s probably when she decided to use the recording. Carly says she believes him. Not to defend Nelle, but one thing they have wrong is that she never used the tape and tried to delete it.

Franco fills out an application for janitor. He says Elizabeth can do the nursing and he’ll do the sweeping. He tells her that helping people with art has been gratifying, but he didn’t know it was a calling. She’s the one who motivated him to change. Sam is wheeled into the ER with Scout. They tell Elizabeth blah-blah-blah medical stuff.

Jordan busts into where Olivia-J was staying, but the room is empty. She sees the handcuffs dangling from the radiator. Curtis and Alexis show up. Jordan says that Olivia could be anywhere right now.

Sam goes off to be examined. Jason almost gets in a scuffle with Franco.

Carly says she believes that Nelle was playing them, but she also believes he knew for months and did nothing to stop it. He was trying to spare himself, not her. He let her depend on Nelle and trust her, when they whole time he knew she was a lying bitch. She does have a very valid point. Sonny asks what he was supposed to do, and Carly says he could have told her right away. He asks if she would have believed him, and she says they’ll never know. They’ll never have the future they’d planned, and that hurts the worst. Sonny says he’ll do anything. Carly says it’s all on the recording, and tells him to leave her alone. She opens the door to Nelle and Michael standing there. I laugh because these are the moments we soap lovers live for.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth has an update on Sam, Laura finds herself who-knows-where, and Carly and Nelle face off.

⚔ I absolutely can’t wait to see Feud: Bette and Joan – FX, Sunday, March 5, 10 pm. Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? is one of my favorite films, and all four actresses – Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange – are also favorites of mine. My head could possibly explode! The story lends itself to being made into movie, since what happened behind the scenes was as much of a drama as what they were filming.

🌟 Only two more episodes for this season of Star. I’ve enjoyed this show immensely. They’ve managed to balance the music with the drama, like Fame and Glee before them, and given a fresh spin to many an old tune. I also appreciate how they touch on social issues without hitting you over the head. It’s like how Carlotta (Queen Latifah) said, I’m woke, but I gotta live my life too. This week, the girls won the contest they’ve been working toward, but because of a technicality, had to add a fourth member to the group. It’s Star’s nemesis, J-Lo Eva (Sharlene Taulé). I don’t mean to be picky, but she looks about 35. (I looked this up later, and she is.) Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I wish I was 35 again – but I would think she’s a little old to be singing with these girls. I was actually hoping they’d drag in Cotton (Amiyah Scott), but she was too high to sit up straight, much less do dance moves. Tonight’s episode also included a new rendition of Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag that I loved. Overall, this show is also quite upbeat, which I think we could all use a little more of.

🍸 I caught a glimpse of So Cosmo, the reality venture that looks at the employees of Cosmopolitan magazine. If I was the editor, I would quit if I had to work with these people, who seem like a bunch of millennial crybabies. I almost couldn’t take it when the fashion editor started whining about how we’re all responsible for everyone’s feelings, after Karl Lagerfeld used the word “ghetto” in his show title. First of all, has she ever seen him? He’s a German guy who looks like someone out of a James Bond movie, probably doesn’t know a ghetto block from a block of cream cheese, and designs clothing that no one from the ghetto is ever going to buy. Secondly, if you’re going to make speeches, get some speech therapy. She sounded like a stereotypical Valley Girl – even worse than the Kardashians – and every sentence was like nails on a blackboard. The saving grace was seeing some fantastic fashion and parties, and things I will never, ever be able to afford.

Mar1

February 28, 2017 – Hallelujah! GH is Saved, Candace Hits a Big Mark, LisaR Confesses & Little LA Returns

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason talks to Spinelli on the phone, saying he can’t find Sam. He asks Spinelli to hack into the highway cameras. He continues calling for Sam, but she can’t reply loud enough for him to hear her.

Julian tells Olivia-J that Sam is pregnant and fell off a bridge. Olivia says she can’t help it if Sam was so stupid to get in her way.

Finn looks at the pharm guy’s card. He asks if a vote has been made, and Monica says they’re waiting. In the boardroom, Obrecht is glad she could put an end to it. Michael tells Tracy that’s how it works; sometimes the vote goes against you.

Nelle calls Michael and leaves a message. She says she’s at work, and everything she needed to do is done. She’ll see him later.

Not so fast. She opens the door, and Bobbie is standing there.

Carly puts the flash drive into Nelle’s laptop. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstances should Carly know that he and Nelle had sex. Her phone rings. It’s Sonny, but she doesn’t pick up.

At the hospital, Sonny wonders why Carly isn’t answering. At Nelle’s apartment, Carly hears Sonny saying it’s his fault and he takes full responsibility.

Tracy tells Michael that her father didn’t have time for failures. She asks how much Obrecht got for her vote. Obrecht says her conduct is above reproach. She says if the Quartermaines are determined to own a hospital, why don’t they buy one? Tracy says that General Hospital is the best there is, and it’s not going down on her watch. She walks out, but they need her to certify the vote.

Tracy tells Hayden that they lost. Monica says GH is gone. Michael sees Sonny, and tells him they’ve voted to sell the hospital for real estate. Sonny asks if he needs money, but Michael says in the end, it was more about politics. Michael sees the call from Nelle, and tells Sonny that he has plans with her and has to go.

Nelle tells Bobbie that Carly has the day off, and Bobbie says she knows. Bobbie gets snarky, and Nelle asks if anything is wrong. Bobbie says things are finally right again. Nelle might as well pack her bags; her game is over.

Carly plays the file again, and hears Nelle says that maybe they should tell the truth. Carly thinks back over the past few months. She closes the laptop and cries.

Sam can hear Jason, but he can’t hear her. He tells Spinelli he needs some help. Sam says don’t go. Jason tells Spinelli to call him back. He says he could use a sign right now, and looks everywhere except where Sam is, and she passes out.  The full moon comes out from behind the clouds, and he finally sees her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that she did nothing wrong, and would never intentionally harm a child. She says she never gets any sympathy from him, even though he tried to kill her. Julian says he’s been running around in circles, doing her bidding for months. She says that’s only because she blackmailed him. He never made amends to her, and he hasn’t changed. He’s selfish and self-absorbed, the way he was when he shot her in the back years ago. She, however, is a new woman. She has grown, and isn’t a pushover anymore. It’s time he learned that. I don’t think I would have ever called Olivia a pushover.

Jason calls for an ambulance, and slides down to Sam. She tells him about Olivia-J and seeing the keyring in the car, and he says he knows. She says the contractions are coming too fast.

Hayden tells Finn that Laura wasn’t there, and Tracy says as long as there’s a majority vote, it’s legal. Monica says Obrecht broke the tie, and she cut off her nose to spite her face. Finn asks for fifteen minutes, telling them to stall.

Sonny says he thought Michael and Nelle were just friends. Michael says things changed last night, and tells Sonny about getting stuck in the cabin. Sonny wonders if Nelle asked for a ride there, and Michael says he’s the one who offered. Tracy interrupts, telling Michael she needs him. Sonny stomps to the elevator.

Nelle says she doesn’t know what Bobbie is talking about, and can’t catch a break with her. She says except for the one time they argued, she’s only been respectful and accommodating. Bobbie obviously dislikes her, but they should move on for Michael’s sake; he doesn’t share her opinion. Bobbie says that’s because he doesn’t know the truth. She tells Nelle that she destroys anyone who targets her family.

Carly wanders around Nelle’s apartment, and flashes back to various interactions with Nelle and Bobbie. She thinks about Nelle talking about her secret boyfriend. Come on, Carly, you’re smarter than this. She talks to herself, saying Nelle doesn’t know anything about payback, but she will.

Olivia-J tells Julian that she’s tired of him arguing with her. She could have killed him months ago, but didn’t. He says she tried, but she says she wasn’t successful and apologized. She wishes she could believe him, but when she looks at him, she sees such little growth. She says he murdered Duke, and would test the patience of Buddha. She thinks it might be doing him a favor to kill him, so he could start over. She doesn’t think he can be saved in this incarnation.

Sam tells Jason the baby is coming, and he says they can do this. She tells him that she’s scared there’s something wrong. He tells her to breathe.

Nelle says Bobbie doesn’t think she’s good enough for Michael. Bobbie says that’s an understatement, but he’ll find out who she really is, and that she messed with his family. Nelle says she caught on to Felicia. She didn’t tell Carly the whole truth because it’s not a happy story. She says she truly cares for them, and wants what’s best. Bobbie asks how was it best when she slept with Carly’s husband?

Carly says this can’t be happening, and flashes back to what Bobbie told her, and some questionable moments with Sonny when they talked about Nelle. She opens the door to Sonny standing there.

Nelle asks what Bobbie is talking about, and Bobbie says Nelle and Sonny making fun of her daughter. She tells Nelle to sit down and shut up. She calls Nelle a conniving little tramp who took advantage of Carly’s generosity. What’s really vile, is how she used Morgan’s death to worm her way into Sonny’s bed. Nelle says she doesn’t understand. Bobbie says she knows what she needs to know, and so does Carly.

Sonny asks why Carly is at Nelle’s apartment. Carly says Nelle is her assistant; why is he there? He says he was trying to call, and she didn’t pick up. She says why not talk here.

Jason tries to keep Sam calm, but she still thinks something is wrong. She makes him promise that he’ll take the baby home. Port Charles has the Slowest. Ambulance. Ever.

Tracy comes back to the meeting with Monica and Hayden. Obrect objects to them being there, and Gray says, let’s just get going. Tracy says there are some objections to Hayden’s report. Michael says his people told him that she’s been presenting the worst possible scenario to the board, suggesting the worst possible outcome. Tracy says she can’t certify the vote based on faulty projections. Gray doesn’t think they need to, but Tracy wants to hear what the other analysts had to say.

Finn calls the pharm guy. He asks if the offer is still on the table. I’m not quite sure if the Obrecht is going to change her vote unless something is specifically in it for her.

Michael says research can lead to patents and new treatments, as well as better medical care. He tells them about Finn’s discovery, and sys GH is known for their research. Obrecht interrupts, but Michael says he has the numbers. Gray wants to certify selling, but Finn pops in, saying they don’t have to. They need cash to put GH in the black and keep it there. If a donor stepped forward, they could call for another vote. Obrecht says no such angel exists, but Finn says it does; it’s him. He explains about selling the patent, and says they can have all the money.

Nelle asks if Bobbie told Carly. Bobbie says she did, and Nelle says she has no idea what she’s done. Bobbie says that she opened Carly’s eyes to the truth. She says Carly and Sonny lost their son, and were grieving and fighting to survive. Nelle blew them apart and their whole family. She asks if Nelle stopped to think of the others. Nelle says this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Bobbie says no one wants to know her, Michael least of all, but Nelle is gone.

Carly tells Sonny that the wedding vows caught her off guard, but he insisted, and she’s been thinking about it ever since.

Jason tells Sam one big push and they can take the baby home. Sam says it hurts. He tells her he loves her and she can do this. He says she’s his phoenix. They’re going to rise one more time together.

Tracy says they should scrap the previous vote. Gray protests, and Obrecht says how do they know Finn is telling the truth. He shows them a fax from the pharm guy. Tracy asks all in favor of voiding the vote, and everyone except Gray and Obrecht raise their hands. Michael votes to accept the Finn’s gift, and everyone agrees except Gray. Tracy says they won and GH stays open. Gray steps away from the table. Finn watches him.

Scout is here! Jason holds her. Sam asks if she’s okay, and why isn’t she crying?

Olivia-J tells Julian that their dad said he was a disappointment. When he left the witness protection program, he had the opportunity to live up to the Jerome name, but blew it, and she’s glad their father didn’t live to see it. Julian says she’ll have her victory, and he’ll be out of her life. Gray texts Julian, saying the deal fell through. Olivia says the Quartermaines saved the hospital and Julian failed her.

Sam asks what’s happening. Jason gives the baby CPR, and says she’s not breathing. Sam begs Jason to save her.

Carly tells Sonny that she wants to come up with something special, since they’ll be getting married for the sixth time. She’s come up with draft, and would like his input.

Bobbie calls Carly and leaves a message about what happened. She says she confronted Nelle. She’s sorry, but it just came out. She says if Nelle has half a brain, she’s out of town. Bobbie thinks they’ve heard the last of her.

Nelle runs into Michael at the hospital. He says he has good news for once.

Carly asks why Sonny is nervous, and he says he feels like it’s an invasion of privacy. Carly says he wouldn’t cross a boundary not to offend Nelle, but offended Carly by screwing her. D’oh! I would have done a spit-take if something had been in my mouth.

Scout finally breathes, and Sam has passed out. Jason tells her to wake up, but it’s not happening.

Tomorrow, Nelle tells Michael everything, Carly confronts Sonny, and Olivia-J tells Julian that it’s strike three for him.

The Haves and the Have Nots

I love this show. Tyler Perry is brilliant – and the hardest working man in show business. HAHN isn’t exactly intellectually stimulating, but it’s extremely entertaining and he definitely slips in lessons to be learned.

We revisit the tableau at Wyatt’s apartment. Jeffrey moves, and the officer shoots. Justin runs to Jeffrey. He tells the officer that they were just playing around, and says get out of here, rookie. Rookie leaves. Miraculously missed by the bullet, Jeffrey tells Justin to leave him alone and get out. Justin leaves. I gotta say, I’m starting to like Justin, and I’m feeling badly about this.

Wyatt asks who that was, and Jeffrey says a friend. Wyatt tells Jeffrey he needs to stay away from that guy. He looks out the window, and says Justin isn’t leaving. Jeffrey says he will, and he has to go. Wyatt doesn’t want him to leave, or at least wait until Justin is gone. Jeffrey repeats for Wyatt to call the number he gave to him, and leaves. Wow. Two seconds out of the hospital, and Wyatt is a mess again.

Candance kisses a sleeping Quincy Jr., and sneaks out of the hotel room.

David walks Erica back to her room. She says good-night, and he’s like, really. He says he won’t judge her, and they kiss. She says that’s huge (no, not that, she means sleeping together), and he begs a little.

Oscar sees Candace in the hotel lobby, and tries to get her to work with him. She tells him to back off. She calls Erica, who is now making out with David on her bed. Candace says she knocked on the door, and asks if David is there. Erica pretends Candace is someone else, who’s asking about borrowing clothes. Candace asks if it’s going to be an all-nighter, and tells Candace to put what she needs in the hallway.

Erica leaves the bed to get the stuff together for Candace, and David makes himself comfortable. When she comes back, they get busy. David’s phone rings. It’s Jim. He wants the number of the guy who got his money back after Candace blackmailed him. David tells Jim that he’s with a female friend. Jim tells him to text the number now, before he gets busier.

Kathryn comes downstairs, and asks what Jim is still doing there. He says it is his house. She asks if he has a whore to screw, and he says he’s not interested in the one closest to him. Oooh. That’s beyond snap. She says someone thinks so, and goes back upstairs, bringing some wine with her. There’s a masseuse in her room, and Jim says he’s not interested in her. She says he’s paid to do a job, and she’s getting a massage. Jim asks why she’s trying to seduce him. Kathryn says she’s not; he wants her. She asks the masseuse if he’s ever had a sugar mama and if he wants one. The kid says no to both, and Jim thinks he should leave. He changes that to get the hell out and he’s gone.

Jim asks Kathryn if she’s lost her mind. He tells her that seducing a child isn’t the way to get him to leave. She says she really was just getting a massage, but she wanted to bug him. Regardless, she could get a man if she wanted to. Jim asks what if he goes to the press, and Kathryn says she doesn’t give a damn. She asks if Jim has looked for Wyatt, and he says he has. She says she can’t lose him, and Jim says they won’t. He’s going to find Wyatt and get the money back. Kathryn says he can get out after that, and Jim says she should get out. She says maybe she will.

Jim calls Oscar. David has already given him a heads up. Jim explains that he needs to find his son. He also needs to get back his son’s inheritance. He tells Oscar that he has no idea where Wyatt is, and Oscar says he’ll get right on it. He wants ten percent, but Jim offers him five. Oscar says he can find someone cheaper then, so Jim agrees to ten.

Candace talks to bartender Rocky, and orders a martini. She asks if he’s running the boys, and he says not as well as she is. She orders two martinis. She sees Charles sitting at a table for two, and walks over to him. He tells her to leave him alone please. She asks Rocky to give her a glass of whatever he’s drinking, and she brings it over to him. She pretends to be working there, and then sits down. He says that he doesn’t need anything else, and she says she’s not a waiter; he didn’t even look at her. She asks if it’s been a long day, and he says it has. She introduces herself, and then pretends to suddenly recognize him. He asks to keep it low key. Rocky brings over the martinis.

Charles asks what she does, and she says that’s personal. He says he’s about to be President of the United States, and she says, don’t sound so happy. He says he’s just getting used to losing everything normal. He asks if she’s a reporter, and she tells him no. He requests that she take the battery out of her phone. He says as president, he won’t be allowed a smart phone. She gives Rocky her purse, and tells Charles to relax; she’s not wearing a wire, and there are no cameras pointed toward them. He says he has his reasons for noticing that, but what are hers? She says she’s observant, and he says, or in a business where she has to look out for that. She asks what he’s saying, and he asks if she’s a working girl. She tells him to have a good night, and goes to the bar.

Oscar asks if he can buy her a drink, and she says no. She tells him to get lost. Oscar says he’ll cover her tab, and she says she’s not interested. He says she got Charles’s attention, and if she doesn’t want people to think she’s a whore, maybe she shouldn’t dress like one. He gives her the key to a room that adjoins Charles’s room. Charles is leaving in three days. Oscar tells her to make Charles think she’s not a whore, and propositions her. She slaps him, and Rocky tells him to get out. She tells Rocky to bill everything to her room. She leaves, and Charles follows. He gets in the elevator with her. Isn’t he going to think something’s up if her room is next to his?

He asks if she’s okay, and she says that she’s fine. She says the future president thinks she’s a whore, and so does the guy at the bar. He says he’s sorry, and addresses her by name. She tells him that remembering her name is a nice thing to do. She gets out, and he says it’s his floor too.

As they walk down the hall, Charles asks what happened, and Candace says he doesn’t want to hear. He says give him something other than a political speech, and she says it’s the whiskey talking. He tells her that he’s a Tennessee boy. She gets to her room, and he says no way. She says she doesn’t believe in coincidences, and tells him good-night. He is super cute. I think she’s going to fall for him.

Inside her room, Candace looks around for any recording devices. Beautiful room, but one cheap phone. I can tell by the weight when she picks it up. She pulls something out from a couple of vases and under the desk. There’s an open laptop and some books and papers all over the bed. Oscar calls and asks her why she would do that. She says she’s not working with him. He says Charles is worth millions, and tells her to just get him on tape. He tells her all the stuff is hers from law school, and she’s cramming for exams. He instructs her to say good-by to him loudly. She yells, don’t call again, and hangs up.

The phone rings, and Candace is like, what?! and it’s Charles. He says he wants to apologize, and she tells him to open the door. How come there’s no secret service around or whatever? Is this like The Prince and the Pauper? She tells him that she’s broke. The only reason she’s there is that it’s her anniversary. She wanted to surprise her boyfriend, and found him with somebody else. She says she also comes from a rough neighborhood, and she’s not good for his image. She thanks him for being nice, and he asks her to have a minibar drink with him. She asks if he’s trying to take advantage of her, and he says he just wants a drink. She says it will have to be his minibar, but the door stays open.

In Veronica’s driveway, Justin apologizes, and begs Jeffrey to listen. Jeffrey says Justin could have gotten him killed. Justin says he’s never done anything like this before. He’s never been in this situation; he’s doing things for Jeffrey that he’d never do. Jeffrey is like, please don’t say you’re in love. Justin says he isn’t, but he likes Jeffrey a lot, and doesn’t want to lose him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t belong to Justin, and Wyatt was just a straight friend. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and he has a drug problem. Veronica sees them from the window. Justin asks Jeffrey to forgive him. Jeffrey hears the door open, and says he does.

Veronica asks what Justin wants. Justin says that Jeffrey made an illegal left U-turn. Jeffrey talks about forgiveness, and says they were forgiving each other, because Justin was a bit aggressive. Jeffrey asks if Melissa is inside, like he’s going to fool Veronica, and Veronica tells him to join her. She wants to talk to the officer.

When Jeffrey is gone, she asks Justin what’s going on, and if she has to call the Chief of Police. Justin says he told her, but she says there are no left turns to get to the house. He says maybe he was mistaken and it was right. She asks how long this has been going on, and Justin says he and Jeffrey just met. She asks if he knows who she is, and he says she’s Jeffrey’s mom. He tells her that she should just be happy he let Jeffrey off with a warning, and Veronica says she has her own warning for him. She tells him to stay away from her son. She knows his type; she’s had them on the stand many times. She asks if Justin understands. He says he does and leaves.

Inside the house, Veronica asks why Jeffrey was being protective of Justin. She says he has the same look in his eye he has for Wyatt. He’s supposed to be there with Melissa, and he’s running around with that. She says she smells Justin on him, and tells him to be a man. He has a sexy-ass woman waiting for him, and he’s acting stupid. Jeffrey just stands there, and she tells him to go upstairs to Melissa. She asks if Jeffrey wants to stab her again, and when he says nothing, tells him to go.

Wyatt calls Jeffrey, but gets voicemail. He flashes back to Jeffrey telling him to call the number. He calls, and a woman asks what’s going on. He says he’s sick, and she asks if he’s trying to detox. She says there’s a doctor who can see him at home, and he gives her the address. She says they’re on the way.

Kathryn calls Hannah. She asks if Hannah sold the car. Hannah says no, and Kathryn is glad. She tells Hannah the police were just there, and Candace is wanted for questioning in Quincy’s murder. She asks if Hannah wants to know how she got the money from Jim. She sends Hannah a photo. Hannah is like, OMG! and Kathryn says she should have warned her. She kept one of the DA’s photos and Jim doesn’t know. She tells Hannah that she’s sorry. Hannah says she’s trying to figure out how to save Candace’s life. She asks if she can call Kathryn tomorrow.

Hannah goes to the police station. She tells the desk sergeant that they’re looking for her daughter and she knows where she is. Her daughter is Candace Young.

Next time, Candace promises not to tell anyone about Charles, Oscar thinks they can set up a scheme, and Justin talks to Hannah about Candace. I don’t know why I thought this was the finale. There are two more shows left. I would say I needed a TV vacation, but I might end up like Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle works with an organizer to get the garage together. Mauricio would rather she threw everything out, but she says there’s a lot of memorabilia in there, and wonders if she’s a hoarder. She talks on the phone with LisaV, and tells her that Carnie Wilson is presenting a tasting from her baked goods company at Kyle’s house, and she’s invited the women. Lisa is afraid of seeing the other Lisa, and Kyle says she has more of a beef with her than this Lisa does.

Eileen talks to Vince about Erika being on The Young and the Restless. She never knew Erika was going to be as excited as she is. Why not? It’s a pretty big deal. Erika is coming by to rehearse. In her interview, Eileen explains the process of putting a character into a soap. She asks Erika how the Project Angel Food gig went. In her interview, Erika says you probably don’t want her making any food for you because you’ll die. Eileen goes through the lines with her. Erika says it’s very different than doing her own show, where everything is focused on her. With this, she actually has to listen. Vince and Eileen agree she’s a natural.

LisaR – the other white Lisa – talks to Harry about going to Kyle’s house. She tells him that Kim is going to be there. Lisa was pretty fired up when she met with Eden, but doesn’t think Eden would lie. Harry says he can understand how her buttons were pushed if Kim was mean to her. She says she was spouting her feelings, and she connected with Eden. She’s sure that Kim must know about it by now Harry says she’s just tried to help Kim, but Lisa thinks everyone looks at it as just the opposite. Harry thinks that’s absurd, and that she has empathy. In her interview, Lisa says she’s going to have to own it; she did say those things. She tells Harry that if she gets stoned to death, he knows where her diamonds are.

LisaV and Ken go to the new space for their dog rescue center. She wants it to be a lifestyle shop with everything doggy, and potential pet parents will be able to play with the shelter dogs during the day. Lisa talks with the agent about Yulan festival and how they’re trying to change it. She wants Congress to speak out against it to China. It’s difficult for me to even hear about, and I applaud Lisa for her work. She says she doesn’t want to turn into a crazy person, but Ken says she is already. Ken gets emotional about a video he saw, and he’s going to make me cry in about one second. Lisa wouldn’t look, and I can’t either. I’ve actually signed online petitions without looking.

Carnie Wilson arrives at Kyle’s. She’s brought four flavors of cheesecake. Oooh, they’re teeny tiny. A beautiful table is set outside, and Kyle’s Golden Retriever lounges in the pool with his tennis ball. Carnie talks about her own sobriety.

Erika picks up LisaR, who’s bearing a baby gift for Kim’s new grandchild. Kim arrives at Kyle’s bearing her sponsor, Claire. LisaR talks to Erika in the limo about meeting with Eden, and says she thinks she did say everything. In her interview, Erika says she hates hearing this, and Kim is going to kill Lisa. She tells Lisa that she’s going to get it.

Mmmm… Tiny food is being passed around. Tiny crab cakes and little garnishes with caviar on tiny bread. Eileen asks Kyle if she invited Eden, and Kyle says she did. Kyle asks Eileen if she thought Kim hasn’t seemed sober, and Eileen says she hasn’t exhibited that behavior for some time. She says it’s weird and illogical though, because she can’t imagine LisaR saying those things.

Carnie talks to Kim about her impending grandchild. Dorit shows a video of her baby going after a pair of designer boots – fashionista in training. Eden arrives, and Kim says Eden makes her skin crawl. She talks to Carnie about removing all the negative, and tells her about Eden repeating LisaR’s lies. Carnie says we’ll always have to deal with idiots. No wiser words have been spoken.

Little cheeses! LisaV’s big earrings! We can see Kim stiffen the second LisaR comes to the table. Lisa presents her with the baby gift. Erika gives a blow-by-blow to LisaV and Dorit, who are inside at the bar. In her interview, Kim can’t believe that after everything LisaR said about her, she’s handing her a bunny. She says she can’t even look at Eden, and people in recovery support each other, not beat each other down.

Camille arrives. LisaR takes Eileen aside. She tells Eileen about how she talked to Erika, and came to a conclusion. Since coming to a conclusion takes more than one thought, I know this had to have been difficult. She talked to Harry, and they discussed the people close to them dying, and she realized she said it. Eileen is surprised and disappointed. Lisa says she meant well. Eileen says she knows that, and loves her. Eileen thinks Lisa’s good parts are better than her bad, and there’s something to be said for her owning everything.

Everyone gathers around several different tiny desserts, and Carnie talks about her dessert company. She wants people to be able to have a little bite rather than shunning dessert altogether. Man, this stuff looks good. I have a confession to make. Ever since they brought out those tiny crab cakes, I’ve been eating tiny chocolate chip cookies. I think I’ll put them away now.

Kyle goes inside and LisaR starts to tell her about her epiphany, when Carnie comes by to round them up. Lisa says she feels like a dead man walking.

Everyone is enjoying the desserts, when LisaR announces she wants to say something to Kim. Seriously. Everyone gets quiet. She says Kim has probably heard some things. (I’ve heard things…) She admits to saying some bad things to Eden, in the heat of the moment after game night. After talking to Erika and Harry, she wants to admit to saying them. In her interview, Kyle says Lisa flat out lied. Kim tells Lisa that she’s always saying things, and then it’s, oh, I’m sorry. She says what Lisa said was uncalled for. Lisa tries to drag Eden in, drawing comparisons. She says Kim was provoking her, and Dorit asks what she did, saying that she doesn’t remember Kim doing anything to warrant what Lisa said. Kim says Lisa doesn’t think of the consequences involving other people, like her children. She introduces her sponsor. LisaR says she’s only wanted to move forward with Kim, and LisaV points out that she was questioning Kim’s sobriety. In her interview, LisaR says LisaV is enjoying this. LisaR says a sober person doesn’t act like that, and Kim wonders who Lisa is to judge what a sober person is like. That was a really stupid statement to make. Kim calls out Eden for saying anything in the first place. LisaV tries to interject that LisaR bears more of the burden, and Kyle tells her to pick a lane.

LisaR asks Claire if there’s a chance to heal. Claire thinks it’s possible if everyone gets to a place where they can let go. Kyle is like, just don’t make up stories. She asks Eden how she would feel if Kyle questioned her sobriety behind her back. Eden says judge her all she wants. Kim basically says it was none of her business. We flash back to the game night argument between Kim and LisaR.

In her interview, Eden says as a recovering alcoholic it would be remiss of her not to listen to what LisaR had to say, and act on it. Kim says Eden isn’t them, and Eden tells her to have some compassion for someone who lost their sister. Kyle says it has nothing to do with compassion; it’s about comparing the situations. Kyle tells Eden that she knows it was horrific, but she can’t compare her situation with theirs. Everyone keeps talking at once, and it’s hard to separate everything. LisaR says it’s not what Kim is saying, but how she’s saying it. I think a HUGE part of LisaR’s problem is that she over-dramatizes everything. I’ll bet going to the bathroom is a big production in the LisaR household.

Carnie says when she makes a mistake she makes amends and owns it, but that everyone has their own pace. If she can’t move on and hangs on to things, she’s drunk. LisaR brings up Kim talking about Harry. Kim says she never said anything about him, and Kyle says she did imply it. LisaR says he might not show it, but it did hurt Harry. People come up to him on the street and ask #WhatDidHarryDo? I can’t help feeling that Harry would think the whole thing was stupid funny. Kim says she’s told Lisa that she’s sorry a million times. In her interview, Erika says LisaR is like a cat with nine lives, but she’s not sure how many she has left.

Carnie says some things are hard to break through, but that’s where compassion comes in. She says they drank for reasons; they are a little looney, but there’s no perfect. Kim says she doesn’t want her world out there again when she’s worked so hard. She’s going to stand up for herself, because she has had times she thought she was going to die. LisaR says she’s sorry she hurt Kim. Eden says she didn’t want to hurt Kim either. Eileen asks Kim what they can do to move on. LisaR says every ounce of her being wants to move on, being all dramatic again. In her interview, LisaV says you have to prove what you say by your actions, wondering if LisaR really does want to move on. Thank you. Some people think “I’m sorry” means they can keep doing it. Carnie says look at what these cheesecakes can do. The girls have some healing cheesecake and move on. Maybe.

Next time, Dorit has a wonderful new hairstyle, a Hong Kong trip is on the horizon, and Erika gets emotional with her mother.

💣 Love Imposters more every week!

💁 Thanks, Lifetime, for bringing Little Women: LA back on Tuesdays, when I already have a hard enough time juggling my TV shows. Here was the gist of it:

Terra is in the top five on Dancing with the Stars. Joe is on tour, and Terra’s health isn’t too great; she’s suffering from two hernias, on top of the breast issue she had last season. Elena comes to the DWTS studio to confront her, because she’s not answering her texts, and Terra ends up telling her to get out. Christy thinks Todd is eating himself to death, and wants him to either go to rehab or go back to Ohio, which I guess is the only other alternative. She’s also still desperate for Briana’s friendship. Tonya was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy, which is a virus that attacks the nerves. It’s triggered through stress. Great. One more thing to stress about. The girls threw Jasmine a baby shower, and she seemed genuinely surprised, but I’ve always wondered about the wisdom in surprising a pregnant woman. We also found out that the baby is a boy. 👶