What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nina asks Spencer to say Valentin had nothing to do with kidnapping him. Spencer insists it was him.

Hayden visits Elizabeth.

Finn gets Griff a thank you lunch. Griff says he was just doing his job, but Finn says it’s at least lunch worthy; he went above and beyond. Griff says that Finn has been reinstated, and wants to go back to being colleagues and friends. Obrecht enters the restaurant, and tells them Guten tag.

Sam keeps telling Jason it’s over and she made sure.

Sonny lies bleeding and unconscious. I can never get over how good Maurice Benard looks, since we basically grew up together. He has some amazing genetics.

Valentin says that Spencer is mistaken or lying, and liars get found out. Dante asks what happened. Spencer says that he, a defenseless child, was at the park and a bag was placed over his head by someone with impressive upper body strength and no manners. Dante tells him to stick to the facts. He says he was put in the trunk of a car and taken to a basement, with no food or water. Will I die here? he asked himself. No, he wouldn’t. He escaped his captor despite breaking his glasses. Dante says based on his account – Spencer interrupts, finishing that Dante will be sending Valentin up the river – he didn’t see who it was. How does he know it was Valentin? Spencer says he can prove it because of his shoes. He was wearing them when he kidnapped him.

Obrecht wonders why Griff isn’t on call. He says that he’s picking up lunch. Obrecht can’t blame him for following the herd like lemmings. She’s sure that Finn will make an excellent contribution to the hospital now that he’s back. He says he wishes she’d felt that way before. She says that all she wanted what was best for GH, but who is she to argue if they want a drug addled doctor? He says he’s gotten treatment, but there’s no cure for what she has. She says now that she made the break, her future prospects have improved. As he’s leaving, Finn says thank God it’s over. Obrecht says, not nearly over.

Jason checks Sam for a fever. She says they’re safe and she did what she had to do. Jason says they’re going to the hospital, and carries her out.

Sonny is like wth? He sits up and drags himself over to the wall. He remembers Sam and the gun going off, and calls out her name, saying to get him out of there.

Spencer says not many people can afford $3000 shoes, much less wear them on the grass. Dante takes Spencer to a private room. Valentin asks Nina if she realizes that Spencer is lying.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she enjoyed her time with Jake. Most important, she wanted to thank Elizabeth for helping her at The Floating Rib. It was terrifying, embarrassing, and ultimately educational. Elizabeth says every pregnant woman has to learn the hard way. She asks why Hayden is really there. Hayden pulls out a bunch of baby care books, and says she’s doing everything wrong.

Jared meets Obrecht. He says he’s intrigued. She says that she knows Port Charles is out of his parole officer’s jurisdiction. She’s been doing research, and has learned a wealth of information on him and someone else. He asks what she wants, and she says to get what they both truly deserve.

Finn and Griff finish lunch, and I want ribs now. Griff says Obrecht doesn’t look like she’s leaving town. Finn tells him, live and let live. He says he came to Port Charles to treat Tracy, got offered a position, and thought he had everything he needed. He didn’t have to think about anyone, except for his late wife. Then he met Hayden, and there was no going back. Griff calls her a force of nature. Finn says she’s been there for him in ways he thought no one except his wife could be. He’s finally getting a second chance at happiness.

Jason runs into the hospital with Sam.

Sonny keeps calling for anyone. His leg is bleeding, and he rips his shirt to make a tourniquet. He’s wearing a bullet-proof vest, which explains why Wavy Garvey didn’t kill him.

Valentin says the only thing missing from Spencer’s recitation was organ music. Nina says when they first met, he was after Spencer. He asks why she posted bail. She wants to believe him, but doesn’t know whether to trust him or admit she made a mistake and he’s been playing her the whole time.

Dante’s phone rings. He tells Spencer that he’ll be back. Laura sits down. She says what happened was horrible, and she’s glad he’s okay. She tells him that what Valentin did to his father was unconscionable, but somehow, someday he’ll pay for it. Spencer says, carpe diem, let today be the day, but Laura says only if he’s guilty. If Spencer is accusing him of something he didn’t do, instead of him being Valentin’s victim, Valentin would be his victim. Spencer wonders if he doesn’t deserve to be, but Laura says what they want is justice. If Spencer isn’t totally telling the truth, everything they’ve been fighting for will be in jeopardy. He’ll use it in court and win, and the worst part is that he’d be right. Spencer says nothing would be worse, but what if he did it; it’s possible. Laura says he has to be certain. Spencer says there are degrees of certainly, and she tells him that she is certain if Valentin didn’t do it, then the kidnapper is still out there. What if he kidnaps someone not as smart or resourceful? He wouldn’t want that to happen. Spencer guesses he wouldn’t, and Laura asks again if he’s 100% certain.

Jared says he’s not one for mysteries. He’s giving Obrecht ten minutes; five if she’s boring. She assures him that she’s never been boring. She says before he went to prison, he was married to Rachel Berlin, and there are so many puzzling questions. She brings up the night they had a fight at the country club, and Jared says he’s done. She assures him not. She has a suspicion that he might want to locate her. He says that he can do that on his own, but Obrecht says she’s just a few miles away, living under a different name, and preparing to have child with new love of her life.

Hayden says Elizabeth is the best resource she’s got. Elizabeth asks before all these books, what were her thoughts about having kids? Hayden tells her that she was raised believing material things and wealth were paramount, but doesn’t want to instill those values in her offspring. She says that she was married before, but it was over before the scandal broke. They lived well, and talked about having kids, but not seriously. This is the first time she’s taken the subject seriously, and that’s because she’s pregnant. Elizabeth takes the books away. Hayden asks what she did to be such a good mom.

Sonny fixes the tourniquet on his leg. He knocks over a crate and steps onto it, pulling himself up. We focus on his shoes, and I wonder why.

Jason tells Finn that Sam has been babbling about being safe. Griff puts a rush on some tests. Jason tells Sam he’ll be right back and she’ll be fine. He leaves, and in her head, Sam sees Sonny, who asks if she’s happy now. She killed him.

Nina knows that Valentin’s version of events in the past has sounded truthful, but sometimes wasn’t. He asks if she believes he loves her, and she says yes, in the way he knows how. She tells him that sometimes ruthless strategy and heartfelt declaration are hard to tell apart, and she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to.

Laura asks Spencer about the shoes, and if he really saw them. He says technically, no. Laura says he has to stop. She loves him, but right now he’s being as vengeful and spiteful as Valentin, and she needs for him to be something better, and tell Dante the truth – no more no less. Dante comes in. He asks if Spencer has anything to add.

Elizabeth says Hayden is being kind. Hayden asks when Elizabeth has known her to be kind for the sake of being kind, and Elizabeth says never. Hayden tells her that she’s observed Elizabeth’s mothering skills. Elizabeth insists she’ll have them too, but Hayden says that in her other life, she wasn’t a good person. In the second grade, she extorted a candy bracelet from a classmate. She has a lot to regret.

Jared tells Obrecht good for Rachel. He says they’re divorced, and he has no reason to track her. Obrecht asks what about his prison sentence? At the time, Rachel was wealthy. Jared says she had a talent for making money, and obviously, Obrecht knows what happened. Obrecht says knowing Rachel as she does, he went to prison for her, and she wants to help him.

Sonny falls. He rests for a moment.

Fantasy Sonny tells Sam that it’s not over just because she killed him; it will never be over. Sam sits up and yells. Jason comes in. Sam wants to go home, but Jason tells Griff that she’s not making sense. She keeps talking about being safe.

Spencer tells Dante that maybe he’s being over-dramatic, and not as accurate as he first thought. Dante asks if he’s certain Valentin is the one. Spencer is certain he could have been, but not actually certain he did it. Dante asks about the shoes, and Spencer says now that he thinks about it, he never saw them. He had a bag over his head, and didn’t see anything. Dante asks if there’s anything else, and Spencer tells him that he doesn’t know who did it. He doesn’t remember or know anything. Dante thanks him. Laura tells Spencer, good job. Spencer says he still hates Valentin. Laura doesn’t blame him, and wants him to know they’ll never stop fighting for justice for his father.

Dante tells Valentin that he’s free to go, but don’t leave town. He says that Spencer admitted he wasn’t sure, and ha no idea who took him. Valentin looks at Nina.

Elizabeth says that Hayden has come a long way from being Rachel. She stuck by Finn, and she thinks they’ve made progress as sisters. She tells Hayden that by the time her shower rolls around, she’ll have it down pat. Hayden says she has no friends; who would throw her a shower? Elizabeth tells her that’s what sisters are for and they hug.

Jared finds out from Obrecht that Rachel is now calling herself Hayden, even though everyone knows who she really is. Obrecht tells him that Hayden’s current lover ruined her life. Until recently, she was a highly regarded physician, and he was hellbent on his own destruction. She tried to save hospital from him, but Hayden saved him instead. She wants to pay him back in kind. Jared asks again what she wants. She says the time he spent in prison was to what end? He’s entitled to more, but if he isn’t interested in getting the recompense he deserves, there’s the door. It will take him to the rest of his unfulfilled life.

Sonny sits down. He sees his shattered phone.

Jason says Sam needs rest. She tells him not to worry, and he says he’s not; the doctors will find out what’s going on. Sam says she did it, and he asks what she means; what did she do?

Nina says she doesn’t know Valentin’s heart. He says she knows it better than anyone because it belongs to her. He went without love his entire life until her, and he doesn’t want to give it up. She has reason to doubt him, but he wants to be a better man. Nina says that’s why she posted bail, and jokes about getting her money back. She has to get to work, and leaves the station. Valentin smiles.

Spencer comes out, and tells Valentin not to think he’s going soft. He’ll do what it takes to make him pay. Valentin says actions have consequnces, and assuming someone kidnapped him, they’re getting away. Laura tells Spencer that she’s taking him home, but he insists Windemere is his home, and Valentin stole it. Spencer tells Valentin, My name is Spencer Cassadine; you killed my father; prepare to die, referring to dialogue from The Princess Bride. I die laughing.

Hayden leaves Elizabeth’s place, almost forgetting her bag.

Jared tells Obrecht that maybe Rachel promised him something, but it was a long time ago, before she lost everything. Obrecht asks if he got nothing, and Jared says just divorce papers in his jail cell. She says he was cast aside, and she knows what it’s like to be discarded, and Rachel/Hayden has a flair for that. What she did to him personally was done to Obrecht professionally. It’s up to them to fire back. Jared says, or move on like grown-ups. Obrecht doesn’t think they have the right to do what they did. Jared doesn’t either. Obrecht suggests that if they work together, they can acquire recompense and retribution.

Griff looks at the test results. Finn thinks he has an idea of what they’re dealing with. More brain worms?

Sonny throws the phone. That always helps. He struggles to get up again, and looks up at the wall.

Jason tells Sam to try and sleep. She says she already did it, and he tells her that he loves her, but for now, just rest. She convulses, and the alarm goes off.

Tomorrow, Sonny continues to call for help, Jordan has news about Dante’s father, and Stella asks Curtis when he and Jordan decided to call it quits.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda goes to yoga. The instructor tells her to do the egg salad position. I swear that’s what he said. Luann tells us how wasted she got the night before, like we didn’t notice. Bethenny says she’s tough; she’d be praying to the toilet bowl right now. I’d at least be in bed. At breakfast, everyone wonders how Luann is even functioning. A major floral arrangement comes for Tinsley. The card says it’s for the best and longest first date ever. She wonders how he knew where to send them. Um… he asked Adam? Carole says it’s a match made in heaven. Bethenny suggests surfing, but Tinsley and Luann want to shop.

Ramona apologizes to Bethenny for her idiocy, saying it just snowballed somehow. She doesn’t know why she embarrasses herself all the time. In her interview, she says she just wants it to stop, and will say anything. Bethenny tells her she wants a smooth day at the distillery, and Ramona should just stay and chill. Ramona thinks Bethenny might change her mind. Bethenny says she’s never seen anything like it, and it goes back for ten years. She doesn’t want to hurt Ramona, but thinks it’s not in her best interest to go. She says Ramona doesn’t like her, but Ramona says, I don’t not not like you [sic]. Whatever that means. Ramona randomly mentions an article about Bethenny in the Wall Street Journal.

Ramona and Sonja have breakfast. Sonja says that Tinsley’s childlike behavior is being enabled. She talks about Tinsley’s five-day date, and asks who does that? Jealous much? Ramona says she’ll never win with Bethenny. When she’s healthy, she snaps like a turtle. Bethenny suggests going surfing. Dorinda has never surfed, but is willing to give it a try. Better her than me.

Tinsley thinks Sonja doesn’t understand, and asks why she isn’t more protective with the press. In her interview, Tinsley says she would have immediately squashed anything about a friend of hers. Sonja says that Tinsley has to deal with it herself, and that she should have brought it up in private. Her friends just made it worse by enabling her behavior. Apparently, Sonja’s root word-of-the-day is enable.

Luann gets whacked with a surfboard in the elbow, which I’m sure takes her mind off of her hangover. Dorinda says surfing is like birth. Bethenny is very good, but not so much Carole, who wonders why she’s doing this. Afterward, everyone high fives the instructor. Bethenny says they missed Ramona’s floatation devices (i.e. her boobs).

Sonja screeches at Tinsley that she didn’t do it. Tinsley says it came from her. Sonja insists they didn’t talk to her. Tinsley thinks Sonja is being aggressive and bitchy, and had something to do with it.

Bethenny wants an early dinner so they can be fresh in the morning. Dorinda says Ramona hates to be by herself, and thinks she still might end up coming. In her interview, Dorinda thinks Bethenny is going to relent. The girls go to an outside market. I would go absolutely wild there. Ramona has decided to act like nothing is wrong. Bethenny points out an amazing embroidered kimono-sleeved dress. Her card is blocked since her assistant didn’t do something or other with it, and Ramona springs for the dress, much to Bethenny’s dismay. Tinsley says she’s winning. Bethenny says she ultimately can’t be mean, and Sonja says you can’t get rid of Singer. Ramona buys straw tote bags for everyone, but Luann has to lend her money, which she doesn’t expect to see again. Bethenny wonders how much it will cost for Ramona to get herself an invite. She’s saying no, but all signs are pointing to yes.

Back at the ranch villa, some of the girls get in the hot tub. Bethenny asks Sonja how Ramona’s headspace is. She doesn’t want to have a Hallmark moment in inviting her along, but says if Ramona does anything wrong, she’ll have to kill her. Sonja tells them that Ramona was happy in her marriage. She’s fronting, and it’s making her act out. Ramona jogs on the beach, which they all find weird. Carole thinks there’s a hot guy at the end of the beach, or maybe just a guy.

Sonja tells Ramona about how Bethenny didn’t want to exclude her. Ramona says she understands that Bethenny’s feelings were hurt. She f-ed up with what she said, and it wasn’t her intention to hurt her. Bethenny is wearing the cutest dress ever. It looks like something from the 70s – a mini with longish full sleeves that have open shoulders, and it has drawstrings everywhere. Ramona says she has to accept only bringing up what Bethenny wants to. Sonja says they’re growing. Please. Dorinda thinks she’s sore from yoga until Carole reminds her that she went surfing.

At dinner, Bethenny says it can’t be a blackout night. Tinsley sees the Page Six item got published; she was hoping Sonja would negate the story. Bethenny says it mentions Sonja and Ramona too. Tinsley insists it started from Sonja. Sonja says she’s blowing it out of proportion, but Carole backs Tinsley up, and says that Sonja tells total strangers Tinsley is a bad houseguest. Sonja says it was a friendship issue, but Tinsley says she complained so much, it got in the press. Sonja says you don’t stay for five months if you’re unhappy. In her interview, Carole says that Sonja never met an article with her name in it that she didn’t love. Luann tells Sonja to apologize, and she does the sorry, but thing. Bethenny says it’s like a circle jerk, and Carole has to explain what that means. I won’t be doing that. Google it if you don’t know. Dorinda gives out cute and funny gifts. Is there a Spencer’s in Mexico?

Bethenny says that she’s blessed and fortunate to take them on an alcoholic field trip; she just has to get them there. She explains how to dress. Bethenny tells Ramona she doesn’t know how she feels anymore, and begs her to behave at the distillery. She says it’s her life and livelihood, and she doesn’t want it ruined. If Ramona has nothing nice to say, don’t say it. Ramona insists she wouldn’t do that. Bethenny tells Ramona to try to be someone people tolerate, and they hug it out.

Sonja claims she hasn’t had a drink in ten months. I believe it if you do. Ramona cracks her head getting into the helicopter (good) because she has a bandana over her face to protect her baby skin. She’s happy to be included, and thinks they’re on a path to something better. Bethenny says it’s been a rough couple of years, but now it’s overwhelming. Olas all around. A guy blows a conch shell, and there’s drumming. Dorinda thinks Ramona looks like a bad MTV commercial from the 80s, and this time she does not want her MTV.

Raphael is the tour guide. SkinnyGirl margaritas are given out. People in native costume dance. Carole says she’s never seen anything like it – except in Vegas. They’re shown the agave plants, and how they’re harvested. They take a trolley to the distillery. Everyone thanks Bethenny, who says she’s happy they’re all there. Dorinda can’t bear watching Ramona kiss Bethenny’s ass. At the distillery, the girls put on hard hats, and the process is explained. They get old-fashioned powder horns, which is the original way tequila was drunk. It’s 130 proof; 65% alcohol. Oh. No. Everyone drinks from their horns. Luann tells us it’s smooth but strong. Dorinda compares it to drinking smoke.

There’s a dancing horse outside, and a little boy giving out roses. Dorinda says it’s like Disneyland in Mexico with tequila. A tent has been set up for lunch. Bethenny passes out little drinking buddies, tiny plastic guys in bathing suits that sit on the glasses, and the tequila tasting menu commences. Tinsley wants to take a kid home, and Carole calls her the Angelina Jolie of Mexico.

Dorinda isn’t sure they’re going to make it home, but it’s back to the helicopter. Probably the only way you’d get me in it is after a day of booze. When they get back, Carole says they have to keep drinking. Bethenny says light a match and the house will go up in flames. She dances on the table. Everyone goes out by the pool, and Sonja tries to make out with Luann. Some of the girls take advantage of the infinity pool and rope swing.

Ramona tells Sonja about Mario leaving his ring at home, and how she knew something was changing. Sonja says when they start wearing skinny jeans and tight T-shirts, they’re cheating. She doesn’t believe Ramona is happy, since she was having sex every night when she was married. Bethenny says no one does it every night. Sonja says she was there (!), and Ramona says it was three or four times a week. She misses what they had, but has to go on. Sonja wails about how hard it must be, and Bethenny tells Sonja to knock it off. In her interview, she says you know if she’s defending Ramona, it’s bad. Ramona starts to argue with Sonja.

Next time, a fishing trip where whales show up, more tequila is swilled, there are fireworks, and Dorinda injures her hand.

🍴 On MasterChef, after Daisy the Cow was paraded around, the mystery box was revealed to have cow parts. That’s just wrong. One chef wasn’t sure what to do with the kidneys, and I’m reminded of the depression food my father cooked when I was a child. (His neck bone soup still stands as one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.) Angus steak and asparagus were in the pressure test, and Nico went home. Gordon told him he was talented, but couldn’t grasp his fundamental errors. Truth! He could not grasp the reasons his dish went wrong. Next time, the chefs have to cook for the backbone of culinary world, and use their products. We also learn ricotta and halibut don’t go together.

It’s Back…

🍨 Whatever doesn’t kill us, makes us thinner. – Devon, Odd Mom Out