What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Shahs of Sunset

Construction is happening at MJ’s condo. Since she came back from Israel, she’s been thinking about how Mike said to quit using her father’s illness as a reason not to move forward. Her designer brings in a vision board. She says it’s condo first, then baby and marriage. A little out of order, but it all needs to happen. Reza comes by. He’s shocked that his bitching didn’t fall on deaf ears. He tells us beige and messy bitches don’t go together, and tells MJ to pick a color, any color. She picks the worst one. She picks something else, and he okays it. He’s staying out of the design part, but will supply cheap labor – i.e. free. MJ says it’s probably the most responsibility she’s taken on in her life. She tells Reza that she needs some real food, and wine.

Mike brings shoes to the regional manager if Shoe Palace. I’m not familiar with that chain, but he tells us that they sell a lot of shoes, and he’s thrilled to be meeting with them. The manager tells Mike that he says no to small brands 99% of the time, but likes to keep his ear to the streets. And maybe get free advertising for his stores. In his interview, Mike always thought of himself as the breadwinner of his future family. We flash back to him talking to Jessica about creating the shoe line. It didn’t work out, and his motivating factor is gone. He shows the guy teeny tiny shoes for kids, and explains that they’re both premium and dope. The manager says he’s never seen anything like it, and thinks they can make something happen. They bro hug. Mike says it’s bittersweet, since he should be calling his wife, but he’s calling his mom.

Annalise is at Shervin’s unpacking. She says she’s getting professional at it now. She talks about moving in. In his interview, he says it’s a risk on her side, and a responsibility on his, but when they spend time together, the relationship deepens. Zzzzz… He thanks her for not believing the bullsh*t. MJ comes by, bearing a poinsettia. She hates that all her friends wake up in the morning, tell lies, go to sleep, and start over. In particular, Asa and Shervin. She needs the naked, ugly truth. She says she wants to talk to Annalise one-on-one, but Shervin is there, so fine. She just comes out and says that she thinks Shervin cheated on Annalise.

In her interview, MJ says that Shervin is controlling, and wouldn’t let her talk to Annalise privately. Since she’s about to pack up her life in Australia and move in with him, MJ wants her to know. She says he’s like a kid in a candy store when she’s not around, but Annalise says she believes him since he’s never lied to her before. She appreciates MJ saying something, but they don’t understand how open and honest he is. MJ thinks Shervin has been working on her. She hopes that Annalise isn’t being Stepford and having tunnel vision. She says that Annalise is choosing to believe Shervin is honest. Shervin says that in the end, the truth always comes out. In his interview, he thanks Tara for the rumor that brought them closer together. Oh boy, I can’t wait for the reveal, because yeah, the truth always comes out.

Reza meets with Mike at the barbershop. Reza says that Mike is more gay in the grooming department than he is. Mike tells Reza about his blind date with Pursia, a Persian rapper. He says they went dancing and had frozen yogurt, but he’s not seeing her again. He still feels guilty about not making his marriage work. Reza says talk to any of them, but don’t talk to girls he’s dating about his ex-wife. He says Mike needs to close the book, not just the chapter, so he’s not stuck in purgatory.

Shalom comes by GG’s place. She’s picking out clothing for her trip to NYC. She’s still shocked that they want her for the play. She tells Shalom that her mom is impressed with him. He says family comes first, and people need to forgive and forget. She says anyone who can put up with her family and friends is a keeper. She makes broad hints about getting a ring. She tells him that in return, he gets the MVP. Most Valuable You-Figure-It-Out. In her interview, she talks about wanting a family, and how the nannies will take care of the kids.

Reza’s new blind cat is called Miss Moo. I love it! MJ visits, and he gives her some tequila. He’s been writing a play, and hands her a copy. He says it’s a passion project based on his two grandmothers and if they had planned his wedding. He says it takes place in a gay café. He has MJ read the part of the Muslim grandmother. He says that he grew up in a household where it was like the two sides were at war with each other. Going to Israel was a life-changing experience, and he wants to share his knowledge with others to spare them the same pain. He says GG might be doing something way off-Broadway, but this is going to be better.

GG is in the city being Carrie Bradshaw. She gets to the theater and meets the director, her scene partner, and some of the crew. She’s never acted before, and says that she freaked when she saw the script since it’s half the size of the Bible, which is highly doubtful. She’s memorized her lines, gone to acting class, and gotten a hearing aid, but might still suck. She says the last time she worked this hard at an accomplishment, was when she tried stealing her parents’ car at sixteen.

MJ takes Vida to the Millennium Biltmore Hotel for lunch. Vida thinks the waiter talks too much and that MJ looks tired, so we’re off to a great start. MJ tells Vida that she wants to get pregnant. Vida says maybe Tommy doesn’t want to be a father, but MJ says he won’t do it if he doesn’t want to. Vida asks if she can make sure he doesn’t ignore the baby, and if she’s willing to take that risk. MJ says that Vida is one of the reasons she kept many men at arm’s length, but now that she’s met the man she wants to make babies with and grow old beside, she has to stand up for herself. She tells Vida that it’s time to accept and support her choices. Vida says she knows what’s best for her daughter, but MJ says she thinks not.

Mike whistles for Reza. Reza says he’s not Mike’s dog, and Mike calls it a Persian doorbell. They’re going to paint MJ’s place, but Mike is only in it for the free pizza and beer. Reza says whether they like it or not design-wise, they have to be nice. He’s all about moving forward today.

When they arrive, MJ says they’re covering the floors first. Reza points out baseboard dirt. Mike pretends a crudité is his dool. Shervin walks in, and Reza asks how many friends MJ invited. MJ says she didn’t invite Asa, and Reza says they have an acquaintanceship instead of friendship. In his interview, Reza says that Asa doesn’t understand the rift, and isn’t going to change her mind or apologize. MJ says that at this point in their lives, they need to lean on each other, and there’s no point in having a friendship if they can’t be honest. Destiney comes in, and everyone has shots. Shervin messes up, and hits the ceiling with his paint roller. Then everyone starts painting weird things on the wall. Reza puts paint on the couch, and MJ tells everyone to chill.

Shervin says it’s not cool about Asa, and doesn’t want to be in the same boat. He tells them that he screwed around before. Mike says, lamest admission of guilt ever. Shervin is sorry for lying, but he’s scared of commitment. Mike asks if he told Annalise, but he says no. In her interview, MJ wonders who isn’t lying. Destiney asks if he did it in the house, and he insists he didn’t. Then he says he did, but he wonders what difference it makes. In her interview, Destiney says that Annalise is giving up her whole life for him. She thought he was a classy dude until she got to see the real Shervin.

Shervin says it’s none of their business. Mike says that for a woman, it’s like their sanctuary, where they lay their head. Vida enters the fray, and is like, omg, what a mess, and freaks over the literal writing on the wall, where Reza has added a cartoon dool. This causes everyone to actually go to work. Tommy comes home, and is surprised that it’s coming together. Reza points out the ovulation sticks lying around. Vida asks if MJ is sure about Tommy, who tells her that he’s like herpes – you can’t get rid of him. That reminds me of the dog in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. She was named Herpes, because if she’s good, she’ll heal. BA-DUM-CHH! In her interview, MJ thinks once Vida is holding a baby, she’ll change her tune. MJ says she’ll buy Vida’s retirement, so she’ll be available to babysit. She writes Vida a $100K check, and says if she gets pregnant, to cash it. Vida doesn’t want anything to do with it, and MJ starts crying. Tommy says she’s an emotional nut, and kisses her. She’s also drunk as a skunk. Why do we say that anyway? She tells Tommy that he’d better get her pregnant.

Reza asks what’s going on, and MJ says everyone is making fun of her emotions. She thinks everyone should be supportive. Reza says they are, and Tommy says her mother isn’t Donna Reed. Then he has to explain who Donna Reed is. Vida leaves, since she’s done her job and made MJ cry, and MJ asks Tommy if he’s sure. He says they need to prepare, and it’s not as easy as she thinks. People typically do it at twenty, not forty. Reza tries to talk to her. Tommy tells Mike that she feels like she has a gun to her head because of Shams being ill. She tells Reza that she’s going to get pregnant, and Tommy should be begging to be the father. Tommy says neither of them have healthy lifestyles, and he doesn’t want to leave a child without a parent. In his interview, he talks about his mother dying when he was a teenager, and how he couldn’t cry. He felt like the worst person. He loves and misses her every day. MJ says it’s now or never, and she’ not allowing cold feet. Tommy says the problem isn’t cold feet.

Reza tells Tommy that he made his girl uncomfortable and upset, and please make her not that way. Tommy asks how many shots she’s had, and she says that she’ll get pregnant by another man. In her interview, MJ is also unreasonable, saying  that him not telling her that he’s sure is like he’s lying. Tommy says that he wants to make sure the baby never wants for anything. He starts crying, and so does she. He brings up his mother, and says that he felt alone growing up, and doesn’t want that for his kid.

MJ asks if Tommy has been crying, and for whom. Reza says that it’s time to exit, and tells them to make some babies. Destiney says her heart is crying. She asks Tommy what the problem is, and he says he wants to make sure they’re around for the kid. She wants to know if what he says is real, and he tells her that he’s been nothing but honest; he’s had reservations from day one. He wants to make sure they’re ready to be good parents, and live a healthy lifestyle. He grew up without anybody, and he ran his whole life from it. If he had a great day, there was no one to tell. He’s going to make me cry pretty soon. Tommy says it’s not her or him, and there’s more to it than both of them loving each other; that doesn’t mean they’re prepared. MJ says his mom died; her dad is dying. Should they not die? She starts getting loud, and he gets louder. He says that he doesn’t want to fight. She says that she’d rather have a baby with someone who doesn’t have a problem with it. She tells him now or never, and he says, then it’s never. In her interview, MJ says she needs someone stronger than this. She says she’ll be an amazing mother, and Tommy needs to be about his truth – that he’s really full of sh*t. I have empathy for her, but she needs to see that he’s telling her the truth. They aren’t ready.

Tommy says she’s right. He’s a piece of sh*t, and a liar. He’s not going to listen to this nonsense. She didn’t listen to him, and pissed on what he had to say. That doesn’t make him want to have a baby. MJ tells him if he told her that he smoked way too much or she needs to stop drinking, he’d have a leg to stand on. I think, but isn’t that what he was saying? She says he’s in a pickle now. (Really, she said that.) He has two choices, sh*t or get off the pot.

MJ tells him to get off the pot, never call her again, and just bounce. Destiney says it wasn’t supposed to go down this way. In her interview, MJ tells us that no man can hold a candle to her dad, and thank God for him; she still has him. She tells us that the lesson of the day is don’t get fooled by the weak. What MJ needs isn’t a baby. She needs therapy to help her get through this tough time. It’s heart-breaking, but she’s going about this all wrong.

Next time, Mike’s divorce is finalized, the gang goes to NYC, Adam and Reza discuss surrogacy, and GG goes nuts on Shalom.

Fear the Walking Dead

Troy kills a rattlesnake and writes in his journal. Tastes just like chicken. He must have been on the road a while, since he’s pretty grubby and has an almost beard. He thinks about the gun. He sees the scalped guy in the chair, whose name I forget, from when we first met Walker. He wanders around and goes inside a warehouse. He goes through what’s there, and finds a bunch of cans that are either cat food or I don’t know what, but it’s not deviled ham.

He sees a plaque that says God helps those who help themselves. The wall behind it opens to reveal a gun and some ammo. He buries the scalped dude, and writes furiously. He sits in the chair where the dude was and plays with the gun. I guess he’s thinking about killing himself, but with him, it’s hard to tell. He hears zombie noises, and shoots the gun in the air. He smiles.

Nick and Crazy Dog are out in the fields. Nick pikes a zombie. Crazy Dog says the cattle are going to die soon from lack of water. Jake tells Alicia that they had 400 head once, and it’s not even a ranch anymore. He didn’t think it would bother him so much. She says they’ll start over, and if they live long enough, she’ll get him more cows. She says it’s livable, and they can’t say that about any other place. Jake thinks there are more places like this. He tells her about a cabin near the border that would be fine for two people. Everything he fought for is gone. She says they’re lucky to have what they do, but he says it was supposed to be more.

Ofelia tells Crazy Dog that Jake is weak, but she has to gain their trust. He says that Nick is already in the middle. She asks if he trusts Nick, and he says everyone does. Nick and Alicia have a smoke on the deck. She tells him he looks like sh*t. He says he killed a man, and now he’s sleeping in his house. She says he killed an evil old man to save them, and he says he did it so Madison didn’t have to. He’s concerned about Troy, but she says he doesn’t owe Troy. They share the same self-destruction. Nick says maybe he’s just as sick.

In bed, Nick hears sounds outside the cabin. He gets his knife, and looks around. While he’s on the balcony, Troy sneaks up behind him. Nick tells him that he can’t be there, but Troy says here he is. He doesn’t want to sit down or he’ll pass out; he’s on a mission. He says Nick saved him in his own way, so he’s here to return the favor. He says there’s a beast in the desert with nothing to keep it from growing, and it’s bigger than he can imagine. Troy says there’s a third way, and locks the sliding door, leaving Nick on the balcony. He tells Nick that he needs to listen. The whole place will be obliterated. He needs to see it; it’s beautiful. Nick tries to get him to unlock the door, but he won’t, so Nick runs in the front.

Alicia suggests going outside the ranch, and pumping water in. Jake says that’s what her mom and Walker are doing. She’s concerned about not hearing from them, and Jake says they need a plan B. Everyone is always talking about a plan B on this show, but nobody ever has one. Alicia wonders how Jake can talk about leaving. She’s fighting for this place, and they’re staying. She doesn’t want to worry about him, and he tells her she’s released from her obligation. She says that’s not why she did it, and he asks who she’s actually fighting for? She seemed lost when they arrived. He thought he’d taken advantage of her, but wonders if it was really the other way around. He asks if it’s a relationship or alliance, and if that was the plan all along.

Nick comes to the door. He tells them that Troy was there. He wanted to warn them about something coming, and wanted them to see what it was. Alicia thinks he’s baiting them. Jake says he warned Troy not to come back, and now he has to face him. Nick tells Alicia that he’s responsible, and someone has to look after her boyfriend. Alicia gives Jake a gun, and says she did it for him. He’s the last good man she knows. He and Nick drive away.

Nick says that Troy could have killed him, or hurt any of them, but he didn’t. He thinks that Troy came to warn, not harm. Jake tells a story about finding a rabbit skinned alive. He put it down, because that’s what you do when something is lame or sick. He doesn’t think Troy is going to get better.

Suddenly there’s a cloud of dust rising in the distance, parallel to the road. They stop the car and get out. Nick radios Alicia. All she hears is infected. The dust clears, and there are a billion zombies crossing the desert. They see Troy walking out toward them. He looks up.

Alicia tells Ofelia that Nick and Jake are in trouble. She thinks that they came across a horde. Ofelia wonders why they were alone; there’s safety in numbers, and it’s protocol. Alicia tells her that Troy snuck in and warned Nick. She says they need to stop it, but Ofelia asks how do they know it isn’t an ambush?  Alicia says they don’t, but she trusts Nick and Jake.

Out in the desert, Nick asks for a minute with Troy. Jake doesn’t think he’s coming back, but Nick wants to try. Troy says it’s a cleansing. Nick says he’s not in his right head, and Troy agrees he’s a little punchy. He says they love loud noises, and cocks the gun. He says he loves that sound, the way some love a ball hitting a bat. This is evolution and Darwinian. Nick says it’s murder. Troy asks if he wants to go there. It’s eviction or extinction. Jake asks him not to make him do it, and points the gun at him. Troy shots the gun, and Jake throws him to the ground. He smacks Troy around, and tells Nick to go; it’s time to evacuate.

Troy says there’s one road in, and one road out. It’s time to face the monsters. Jake tells him that rabbits scream, like human beings, but he still protected Troy. Nick tells Jake if he pulls the trigger, he’ll never forget it. Troy hints about Nick having shot Jeremiah, but Jake says he doesn’t care what Nick did. Jake is about to shoot, when Nick kicks him out of the way.

The group at the ranch watches as the zombie horde approaches. Nick and Troy slide down the hill toward the horde. Some stray zombies are already close, and Jake gets bit in the arm. He asks Troy how long before it spreads, and tells him to do it, meaning cut off Jake’s arm. Troy hesitates, so Nick does it himself.

Crazy Dog asks Alicia what’s going on, and she tells him that Troy told Nick and Jake that something was coming. Crazy Dog wonders if it’s something that’s out there or something be brought. Ofelia says he’s not helping. The guy with the beard, whose name I don’t remember, says they’ll need guns and bullets. Crazy Dog gives Ofelia the keys to where the arms are stashed.

Troy holds Jake in the truck bed, while Nick drives. Troy insists that there’s no ranch to go back to. We can see zombies for miles.

Crazy Dog directs the trucks and RVs to be driven making a barricade. Ofelia asks if it will stop them. He says they’ll hunker down behind them when the zombies go past, and asks if she has a better idea. Nope. He tells everyone to move, and they all run around. The horde gets closer.

The zombies arrive, and everyone is lined up behind the vehicles with weapons. The zombies hit the barbed wire, because they’re too stupid not to run into it. No way could they kill this many. Nick watches through binoculars. The RVs start to rock, and then zombies start crawling out from underneath them. Holy! The ranch people all whack at them, and pike their heads, with various weapons as they come through. Nick is like, this isn’t good. Troy says that Jake was the one who wasn’t supposed to die. Nick tells Troy to put him down. Troy says that he wanted Jake to see what he’d done for them. Nick grabs Troy, and says, look at what you did; that’s you, and throws him down. Nick radios Alicia. Troy tell Nick to kill him, and do what his brother should have. Nick kicks the gun over to Troy, and tells him to kill himself.

One of the RVs is about to tip over. Alicia says it’s not going to hold. Once it gives, everyone will die. The RV gives way, and Ofelia says, let’s go. Yep, that’s it. The zombie horde is in. Nick looks sick, and I’ve been making noises since Jake got bit.

Everyone is slicing and dicing, and stabbing, and shooting  Alicia tells everyone to go into the pantry. Oh no! They grabbed bearded guy. Alicia tries to shoot the zombies, but can’t get a bead on them. Bearded guy has a gun and tries to shoot himself, but the gun doesn’t go off, so Alicia shoots him in the head. Then the dead feed on the dead. There’s lots of running and craziness.

Jake opens his eyes – which look really cool, more like the Night King on Game of Thrones, than the usual creepy zombie eyes.

Alicia’s gun is out of bullets, and she just goes nuts whacking at the zombie. Ofelia hammers them in the head. Omg, these guys are totally surrounded. Crazy Dog even head butts one of them. They manage to free themselves, and lock themselves in the pantry with the others. The zombies scramble around the door outside.

Troy stabs Jake in the ear. He says he needs some sleep. Nick says they need to find a way to save the people he tried to kill. He can sleep when he’s dead. Hey, that’s what I always say.

In the pantry, everyone listens to the zombie sounds from outside. Alicia looks frazzled, and hyperventilates.

Next time, Nick blows stuff up, Crazy Horse says they’re all going to die together, and Alicia is attacked.

😴 I need to call it a night, so I leave you with this…

Waving good-by to the Weekend