What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan tells Dante that every once in a while, justice prevails.

Finn gets ready to leave the hospital. Anna says she doesn’t recall a doctor telling him that he’s discharged. Finn says he’s a doctor. He needs to tell the police he killed Cassandra.

Nathan tells Maxie the genetic component has to have crossed her mind. She says of course, but she doesn’t think the baby will turn out like Faison. Lulu overhears, and wants to know what’s going on. Nathan says, might as well get used to saying it out loud. Caesar Faison is his father.

Carly comes home to Josslyn dancing to her iPod in a sexy red dress. She tells Carly it’s for the ball. The Mad Hatter’s Ball is the biggest school dance of the year. It’s in February, but she’s planning ahead. Carly suggests she leave the tags on in case she finds something better (which I translate to something less adult), and asks if Kim knows Oscar asked her to the dance. Josslyn says he hasn’t yet, but he’s coming over to talk about something important. She goes upstairs, and Carly says her baby is growing up fast.

Jason tells Sonny that Spinelli is in shock about his daughter having a step-sibling related to Faison, but he knows Spinelli will step up and make it okay for Georgie and Maxie. Sonny says he’s odd, but a nice guy. They agree they need to find someone to help find Faison’s other son.

Sam tells Drew he knows his own heart, and asks what he wants to do. He says love and honor her the rest of their days. She suggests they get married today. He likes it, and says let’s go to city hall.

Anna asks Finn why he doesn’t concentrate on getting better, and when a doctor agrees with his diagnosis, they can do New Year’s Eve. She tells him he’s not going to the police. He was drugged, and doesn’t recollect well. Finn says he and Cassandra were the only two there. She might be able to dismiss it, but he can’t.

Jordan asks Dante to leave copy of his paperwork on her desk. She’s leaving to see Anna. She feels badly about how she left things, and wants Anna and Finn to know the operation is over. It’s one less thing for them to worry about.

Finn wants to confess before the police come after him. Anna says he has no memory of hurting Cassandra, but even if he did, he was protecting himself. Finn says he was protecting her, and the police should understand. Anna says he’s not saying a damn thing about what happened. Sonny interrupts, asking if it’s a bad time. Anna tells Finn to get some rest, and goes into the hallway to talk to Sonny.  Jason says they need to talk to her about Faison’s son.

Lulu is like, omg, and asks if Obrecht has any idea where Faison is. Nathan says even if she did, it’s doubtful she’d tell them. Lulu explains that she wants to interview him, and Maxie tells her that an interview with Beyoncé would be easier to arrange, and the subject wouldn’t try to kill her. (Not unless she’s Becky with the good hair anyway.) Nathan says the baby has absorbed enough stress for one day, and he’s got to get to work. Maxie says she and the baby will be fine. When he’s gone, Maxie tells Lulu that she’s terrified. Faison is a sociopath, and what if the baby inherits his genes?

Carly asks Josslyn how things are with Oscar and Drew. Josslyn says fine, and Oscar went to the Quartermaines for Christmas. Carly mentions the CD that Oscar made for Josslyn, and asks if it’s significant. Josslyn is saved by the doorbell. It’s Oscar.

Drew says they have the documents together, and tells Sam, let’s go get hitched. He looks at something, and says they’ve got a problem. Sam asks, what now? and he tells her to read the fine print. They have to wait 24 hours after the license is issued. He asks if she knows any judges. She’s sure her mother does, but doesn’t want everyone to be alerted. She suggests they just get the license now. He tells her that he meant every vow the first time, and they kiss.

Carly makes herself scarce. Josslyn asks Oscar what’s so important?

Jason tells Anna it’s been confirmed that Faison has at least one son – Nathan. I love how Anna is relatively unfazed by this. Sonny explains how he walked in on a family situation, and Obrecht blurted it out. Anna wonders why they’re bringing this to her, and Jason says Nathan isn’t the son they’re looking for. Britt told them about a traitor who allowed Jason to stay alive. Sonny says a manuscript was dropped off to Faison that they know he didn’t write. They think the character of the protagonists’s son is PK Sinclair, and also Faison’s son who double-crossed him by keeping Jason alive. They have to find him before Faison does. Sonny asks if Anna knows of any other woman in Faison’s life. She can think of one in particular.

Dante tells Nathan the case is closed, and Nathan congratulates him. Dante asks if everything is okay, and Nathan says for now. He hopes it stays that way, now that he found out who his father is.

Lulu tells Maxie to calm down. Stress is no good for the baby. Maxie says neither is a psychopath for a grandfather. Lulu says she doesn’t think Maxie’s noble act is the way to go. Maxie asks what she’s supposed to do? Blubber to Nathan, and tell him the baby might end up like its grandfather? Lulu says the baby already has the best parents; it doesn’t matter. Maxie says it does.

Finn hears the door open, and says don’t even think of ordering him back to bed. Jordan says she wasn’t thinking about it, and he says he was just about to go see her. She tells him that she wants to talk to him about Cassandra Pearce. Who I keep wanting to call Cassandra Peterson (aka Elvira).

Maxie talks about recession genes skipping a generation, and Lulu tells her that she means recessive. She insists that Faison’s issues won’t be passed on through DNA. Nathan is amazing, and it comes from inside. That’s what he’ll pass on to the baby. Maxie wants to believe her, but wonders how she can be so sure.

Nathan tells Dante that he always knew something was off with his mother’s story, but it didn’t matter until he needed the medical records for the baby. He never imagined it’s what they’d find. His father is Caesar Faison. His mother was devoted to him, but knew Faison wasn’t father material, so she hid Nathan. Dante says he’s sorry, and Nathan says, so is he. His father is one of the ten most wanted criminals. He feels sick. How is he supposed to go forward and forget? Dante says he can’t; he has to learn to live with it.

Anna says Desiree was a French woman, devoted to Faison, who would have done anything for him, but she’s been dead for decades. Jason says if there was a son, there must be a record. Anna says she doubts it. Faison is a master at covering his tracks, so there’s probably no trace. Anna says she’ll let the WSB know what they’ve uncovered, and they should get on with their lives. Sonny says they want to make sure he’s gone for good, and she tells him to let the authorities handle it. Jason says they need to know, but she says that Faison already took five years from him; don’t let him take more. She leaves, and Sonny thinks there’s a helluva lot more she’s not saying.

Oscar wants to talk to Josslyn about something. He tells her that he finished the book about Edward last night. Josslyn wonders why he came over to talk about the book, and he says it’s super messed up. Lies, affairs, greed; he can’t believe they’re related. Josslyn asks if she shouldn’t have given it to him, but he says after reading it, he feels like a multi-faceted, interesting, legit person now. Carly shows up with snacks, and asks what going on? Josslyn says, absolutely nothing.

Jordan tells Finn that she thought Anna would be there. There’s been a development in the case. Finn says he knows why she’s here, and he’ll make it easier for the both of them. It’s time he told the truth. She asks if he’s making an official statement. He says he is, and she asks if he’s in shape to do that. He says he has to get it out. The memories aren’t clear, but he’s pretty sure – Anna cuts in, telling Jordan what he’s trying to say, is that he went after Cassandra, but was too incapacitated to do it. Jordan says that pans out. They know who drugged her and left her to die.

Dante isn’t comparing his and Nathan’s situations, saying Sonny is deeply flawed, but he does have a code and a conscience. He has no idea what it’s like to go through what Nathan is. Dante tells Nathan about being undercover, and not knowing Sonny was his father, until Sonny tried to kill him. Dante was filled with rage, and didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want to take it out on his mother, and had to choose. He chose the things they shared, and rejected what they didn’t. Nathan is a grown-ass man (Assman Landers – sorry, I had to). He knows who he is. He already rejected Faison without trying. He grew up privileged, and could have used that to his benefit, but chose to be a good man. That’s not going to change.

Lulu tells Maxie that the baby will grow up safe, healthy, and happy. She can’t wait to meet the individual they’ll raise. She knows the both of them, and knows it’s a safe, stable home. Maxie says like with Charlotte, and Lulu says that’s why she fought for custody. The Cassadines are a nightmare, but there’s a lot to nurture vs nature. Maxie is grateful for Lulu’s friendship. She’s even grateful that Obrecht gave Nathan to her sister to raise. Lulu says, so Faison doesn’t know? Maxie says she’s got to go, and jets.

Carly asks Josslyn if she’s sure everything is okay, and Josslyn says it’s fine. Oscar asks if he did something wrong. Josslyn says no, he’s just being complex and multi-faceted. He asks if they’re having a fight, and she says maybe. He tells her he’s sorry, and she asks for what? He says he did something, but he’s not sure what. Josslyn tells him to go. He leaves, and Carly comes back. Josslyn tells her that Oscar is a jerk, and Carly asks what he did. Josslyn says he didn’t ask her to the ball. The doorbell rings. Josslyn doesn’t want to see Oscar. Carly answers, and says she’ll want to see this. Oscar comes in wearing a giant Mad Hatter hat, and says some lines from Alice in Wonderland. He asks Josslyn to the ball.

Sonny talks to Britt on the phone, telling her the time frame is the late 80s or early 90s. He knows it’s like a needle in a haystack, but it’s all they have. He tells Jason that if anyone can find Desiree, it’s Britt. He thinks the kindest thing for Anna would be to put a bullet in Faison’s head, but they have to find him first. Jason wants to make sure he never hurts anyone else; the answers won’t change anything. Sonny asks if that’s because Sam is staying with Drew.

Drew tells Sam it’s no big deal. They just have to wait a little longer.

Jordan says Cassandra’s accomplice, Eric, confessed. He didn’t know her intentions, and had no stomach for murder. Finn says, but he tried to murder Cassandra? Jordan says that after Anna and Valentin overpowered him – Anna interjects that it was just her doing the overpowering – Eric went back to Anna’s house to confront Cassandra. He told her that he was out. Cassandra attacked him with a syringe, and he turned the tables. He heard Anna come in, and he hid. Anna asks if he moved the body, and Jordan says that’s his statement. This chapter is closed for the two of them. They’re free to live their lives, and see what the new year holds. Anna thanks her for coming in person,

After Jordan leaves, Finn asks Anna if she believes it. She doesn’t know. She didn’t think Eric had a conscience, but all she cares about is that it cleared him. Finn thinks maybe Jordan is right, and they should see what the new year holds, starting with getting out of there.

Sam tells Drew there’s no time like the present.

Sonny says Jason didn’t mention anything about New Year’s Eve. He has nothing to say, and Sonny says that Carly said something happened between him and Sam. Before Jason can answer, Sam calls. She needs to see Jason, and asks him to come to the office; the sooner the better. He tells Sonny that he has to go.

Sam tells Drew that Jason is on his way. Drew asks if she wants him there, or does she want to do it alone?

Josslyn asks if Oscar set her up, leading her on to crush her, then asking her to the ball? He says he started second guessing himself, and was afraid she thought it might be lame. She didn’t mention the dance, so he thought she wasn’t interested. She’s unique, and maybe it’s not cool enough for her, so he panicked. When she kicked him out, he realized he was being dumb and he’d never know if he didn’t ask, so he figured he’d go big or go home. Josslyn says he really is a little mad, but like Alice said, all the best people are, so she’ll be his date.

Nathan says Faison is dangerous, even more so if he knows he has a grandchild. He needs to find Faison and shut him down. Dante says Faison hasn’t lived this long being stupid. He needs to do what he can to smoke him out and put him behind bars.

Maxie goes to see Sonny. She apologizes for her rudeness, and starts to babble, saying she needs to tell him something. He suggests she take a breath, telling her breathing is good for the baby. She says what’s also good for the baby is him swearing he won’t tell anyone that Faison is the grandfather.

Josslyn puts on the hat, and Oscar says it looks better on her. Carly comes back in, and says it looks like everything worked out. Oscar says he’d like to take Josslyn to the ball, and Carly suggests she not wear the hat. He has to go, but he’s glad he asked her. Josslyn says she’s glad she said yes. She walks Oscar to the door, saying it’s going to be a special night. Not just the dance. She has something that’s going to blow his mind. Carly overhears.

Sam tells Drew it’s simpler if she handles it alone, She wants to accomplish it with minimal friction. He says he’ll be in his office, and she tells him that she has this.

Maxie is freaked that Anna knows, but Sonny says she’s an experienced WSB agent, and she’s family. If anyone can protect the baby, it’s her. Maxie says it’s a deep, dark secret, and already three people know. Sonny swears no one is hearing it from him or Jason. She has his word. She says Spinelli promised not to say anything until he needs to tell Georgie. Sonny tells her not to borrow trouble, but she says it’s already here. If Faison finds out, who knows what he’ll do.

Nathan says he can’t change past, but can put stop to it now. Dante says he’s with him, and goes to finish up. Lulu comes in, and says Nathan must have contacts and leads she doesn’t know about, and vice versa. How about working together to bring Faison down for good?

Dante tells Jordan that he’s leaving for the day, and asks how Anna is. She says for a moment, it seemed like Finn was confessing, but it’s not possible. One look at him, and you could tell he couldn’t swat a fly, let alone carry a body out and dump it. They have a signed confession, and everybody is happy. Dante doesn’t look too happy though.

Anna tells Finn he can’t leave without a doctor signing off, but he says he needs to get out. She’s not fighting him if he insists on leaving, but if he does, she insists on him coming home with her.

Sam looks at a picture of her and Drew. Jason arrives at Sam’s office. They give each other a long soap opera look.

Tomorrow, Ned says he’s not running for mayor, Michael sees Nelle for who she is, and Sam tells Jason that she needs a divorce.

Vanderpump Rules

The entire SUR tribe of servers gathers at Schwartz and Katie’s apartment. Tom says Schwartz is such a good friend, he’s trying to take the heat off of Jax. Schwartz tells Jax that apparently he got drunk and made out with a chick. Katie comes home, and says she didn’t remember inviting Jax, so he goes back to his apartment on his motorized cooler. I’m not kidding. I’m watching this big guy motor down the hall, sitting on a cooler. He tells us it makes for a quick getaway. Jax is like a cartoon character.

With the gang all there, Katie says it’s the last time Schwartz is using the excuse of getting wasted, If he wants to be married to her, he’s not drinking like that anymore. Schwartz tells her that she’s not going to tell him what to do. Wrong move. She stands up, and says she can’t believe he’s the same guy she married, and everyone wept over their vows. She trusted him, and feels like she doesn’t even know him. Wait. Who’s that extra dude on the couch?

At SUR, Lauren asks Lala if she remembers how everything works, and Lala says Lauren will probably see her looking confused. She thanks Lisa for having her back, and Lisa tells her to be consistent. If Lala runs away, she’s not chasing her.

Jax asks Brittany if she’s still ready for the housewarming party. Jax thinks it will make it harder for his friends to talk sh*t about him if they drink his booze and eat his food. Brittany’s goal is to have a night where they hang out with their friends, and the focus isn’t on the relationship. Katie asks Lala if she can step away and talk. She’s wondering what possessed Lala to talk about Schwartz’s indiscretion.

Katie tells Lala she thought they were cool, and asks why Lala is talking to Scheana about her relationship. Lala says Scheana told her Katie had been making comments about her relationship, and she felt like her dukes were up again. Katie says she can’t argue with it, but thinks Scheana took the opportunity to throw her under the bus. She apologizes to Lala. Katie wants the deets, and Lala says he kept accidentally calling her friend “Bubba.” In her interview, Katie says it makes her stomach turn. She says the marriage has been bliss, and she wants him to get his sh*t together.

Lisa arrives at the bar, and asks for half a glass of rosé, which is like a full glass in some bars. She and Katie go somewhere private. Katie tells her that Schwartz claims he blacked out and doesn’t remember. Lisa says a partnership is like a marriage, and she’s not putting up with the BS Katie is. Katie doesn’t want it to ruin Schwartz’s opportunity, but Lisa says she’s going to talk to him, and he has every reason to be scared.

Harrison! Lisa gives the flower arranger instructions on how to make it look better. She tells Stassi she just got a ticket for not quite stopping at a stop sign, and she’s kind of guilty. She gives Stassi kudos for Guillermo’s party. She says it’s going to be Harrison’s birthday soon, but Stassi’s not there yet. Stassi tells Lisa about the housewarming party. Lisa can’t begin to understand it. Stassi says Brittany should be looking for a new apartment, not warming this one. Despite her feelings, she wants to go, and Lisa says nothing has changed.

The guys go to a painting class. Schwartz says it’s like a more mellow version of a Hunter S. Thompson adventure. A huge question mark hangs over my head. Schwartz isn’t drinking today because he’s going to see Katie later. Tom breaks out some absinthe, and convinces him to take one shot. Like James, Schwartz calls it the green fairy. We flash back to Jax’s night of drinking absinthe with James. I flash back to a night of drinking it with my friend Jane. We ended up singing show tunes in the park. Tom paints a penis on his apron. Jax asks Schwartz how it’s going, and Tom asks about Brittany. Jax says she’s out with the girls right now.

Brittany tells the girls she’s doing better. She was hoping Jax would be a better person, even though her brain tells her he can’t.

Schwartz asks if Jax is on probation, but Jax says more like community service. He asks how it’s possible Schwartz doesn’t remember, but Schartz says he told Katie he’d take a lie detector test. Their paintings are actually not bad.

Brittany talks about the party with Katie and Kristen. She says she doesn’t really know Lala. Katie says Lala claims Scheana triggered her. In her interview, Katie says Scheana’s boyfriend is also playing games. Kristen says Jen from SUR also works in another restaurant, and saw Rob kiss a girl there. When she pulled up a picture of him and Scheana, asking if she was his girlfriend, he was vague. She thinks he’s going to break Scheana’s heart. Ohh, he must be the mystery guy from the couch.

Scheana says she finally feels like she’s with a man. She’s finally with someone who works. Tom and Ariana come for dinner to new boyfriend Rob’s place, where Scheana has hired a private chef. They marvel over the house. Tom jokes that it’s almost as nice as their place. Scheana says it’s the opposite of her relationship with Shay, and we flash back to them eating take-out on the coffee table. Rob makes a pretentious toast, and Tom is impressed. He says he’s not Rob-sessed, but he gets why Scheana is with him. In her interview, Ariana isn’t sure which of the three of them is more in love with Rob. Rob says dessert is like sex, and Scheana says good thing he’s getting both tonight. Tom mumbles to Ariana, asking if they can be on that level. Scheana has a countdown app on her phone that tells her how long until she’s officially divorced. A little over a month to go now.

Schwartz brings his painting of Tom home. He says it’s his way of saying sorry. Katie wonders why he didn’t paint her instead. He confesses to his one absinthe shot. Katie says she talked to Lala, and tells him about calling the girl “Bubba.” She says Lisa is actually upset. She asked him to be a partner, and is concerned about him getting drunk to the point of blacking out. He promises not to be douchey, but he can’t imagine not hanging out with the guys. Katie says they’re married; he’s not married to his friends. He thinks that’s a stupid statement, so obviously doesn’t understand what married means.

Ariana and Lala go shopping. Ariana is glad to have her back at SUR. Lala says Brittany is a bigger person than she is. She wishes every woman would know their worth. Ariana says there’s no actual consequences, and Lala thinks dogs should be put in the doghouse. She asks Ariana how it’s going with Tom, and Ariana says she doesn’t really want anyone touching her who-ha. She explains that she’s always had issues with her body, and they were reinforced by an abusive relationship. When they started dating, everything was exciting, and it wasn’t there, but now it’s taking up space in her head. Lala says she literally talks to and thanks every part of her body every morning. She thinks Ariana should get into that routine, and says she’s perfection.

Schwartz and Katie bring their dogs to Vanderpup Pets for some grooming. Lisa asks Schwartz to talk upstairs. He feels like a dead man walking, and says it figures his last meal was a Lean Pocket, not even a Hot Pocket. He tells Lisa that he knows he took it too far, but doesn’t remember anything; it’s an unfortunate, sloppy accident. Lisa says she’s not just invested in his relationship, but they have a partnership. It’s like a marriage, and you have to treat each other with respect. She wonders if he’s going to tell her he blacked out, banged the waitress, doesn’t know where the money is, and lost the keys. It’s time to grow the eff up. He says he’s taking it seriously, and she tells him to take his wife seriously. In her interview, Lisa says Schwartz nearly woke up without his wife, and next time, it will be without his business partner. Schwartz apologizes Katie.

Kristen and Scheana help Brittany set up for the party. Brittany says it was Jax’s idea, but her girls are coming, and she knows they have her back. Kristen tells Scheana about Rob kissing a hostess at another restaurant. She showed him a photo of the two of them and asked if it wasn’t his girlfriend, and he mumbled no. Scheana isn’t believing it. She says they hardly kiss. He’s not a kisser, and she finds it not believable. I don’t care how nice his house is. If a man wasn’t a kisser, I’d dump him immediately. Kristen says Katie felt attacked, and it was brought to her attention. Scheana thought it was her obligation as Lala’s friend to tell her about what Katie said. In her interview, she thinks Katie is the devil. Kristen says Scheana is doing that fake thing, but Scheana says she’s known Rob for eleven years, and he’d never do something like that. Uh-huh.

James brings a toilet paper cake, since Jax is a piece of sh*t. Brittany’s only rule is that everyone has to be drunk.

Schwartz thinks he needs a new haircut. One that reflects how he used to black out, but is reformed now, even though he still likes to get drunk. Katie does not find his joking amusing.

Drinking games happen. Katie thinks Schwartz looks like a kid with chicken pox watching his friends play outside. Scheana is texting with Rob that what Kristen claims happened is BS. Jax thinks she wouldn’t notice Rob unless he was in the background of one of her selfies. Scheana talks to Stassi about how the first month without Shay was difficult, but now she’s looking forward to getting a house with Rob one day. In her interview, Stassi says Scheana is acting like they’re best friends, and her babbling is the reason they’re not close friends. She says nothing truthful or real. Scheana babbles some more, and Stassi needs another cocktail.

Lots of shotskis are hoisted. James raps while Tom is the rhythm section. Jax talks to Rob privately about how he wanted attention, and now he’s in a bad place and wants to fix it. Brittany comes in, and asks what’s happening? She thinks Jax should be talking to her, and says he’s treated her like sh*t. Lala and Kristen listen in. Brittany says she put her belief in Jax because she loves him. Jax applauds, and says the Oscar goes to Brittany. Oh boy, was that a bad move. Brittany walks out, saying eff ya’ll. Ugh. I can’t stand Jax.

Brittany goes back to the party. Lala tells Ariana about Jax yelling at Brittany. She tells Ariana that Faith had audio on the phone from when they got together, with Jax saying he’s never going to marry her. James had gotten it, and sent it to her. In his interview, James says it’s awkward, because he’s friends with Faith and Jax. Brittany is a sweet girl, and it’s a mess. Lala wonders if she should tell Brittany. Ariana thinks Jax is a despicable human being. Most definitely. Lala says Jax doesn’t deserve any woman, much less one like Brittany, but she doesn’t want to ruin Brittany’s night. Ariana asks if she’d rather ruin Brittany’s life. Good point, but they might want to wait until a moment of sobriety.

But no. Lala calls her over. Ariana says she loves Brittany so much. Lala asks to talk to her for a second, and Ariana keeps saying she’s sorry. Brittany is like, what happened now? and Ariana tells her about the audio. Brittany says, let’s do it, and listens. Jax is all happy with his bros in the kitchen, but not for long. Brittany says, are you effing kidding me? and storms in, calling Jax a piece of sh*t. She tells him rot in hell, and get the eff out.

Next time, DJ James is back, Brittany wants Jax gone, and Tom screams at Ariana.

👱 The girls on RelationShep have moved to private quarters, much to everyone’s relief. I have to admit to my hat being off to Cameran, who I sometimes don’t like too much on Southern Charm. It was her idea, and shows that they’re both concerned about the comfort of the ladies. Shep called it quits with young Kylie, who he realized he has little in common with. He told her that she’s still “green,” and needs to explore the world for herself, and he’s more of a pirate who likes some arrgh! in his life. Now, only Priscila and Peyton are left, and I’m leaning toward Priscila.

🚓  I need a partner in crime, and you’re the law. – Shep giving Kylie the big kiss off

🎶 🎤 Happy Birthday to The King of Rock and Roll 👑

When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream that I ever dreamed, has come true a hundred times… I learned very early in life that, “Without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend.” So I keep singing a song. – Elvis Presley, from the Elvis Presley newsletter