What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nina hurries Charlotte. Charlotte comes out in a party dress with sparkly polka dots and a sparkly unicorn headband. Nina says it’s the perfect dress for The Nutcracker. Valentin comes to the door and Charlotte says, surprise! She found someone for the extra ticket.

Josslyn visits Cameron. She says she talked to Oscar, and he asks how it went. She says he has an inoperable brain tumor, and didn’t break up with her because he didn’t love her, but wanted to protect her. It makes her crazy, thinking about all the time they lost. Cameron asks if he told her about the experimental trial, and she says she convinced him to do it. If not for himself, for her. Cameron assumes they’re back together, and she says, of course. He guesses she’s not that mad at Oscar for not telling the truth. She says, no. She’s mad at him.

Elizabeth, Franco, and the boys join Laura at Kelly’s. Laura asks Elizabeth how Thanksgiving was, and she says, great. Laura asks about the movie, and Elizabeth says Aiden picked it. Aiden isn’t very enthusiastic, and Laura suggests they have their annual post-movie pie. The waitress brings the menus, and tells Laura that she can’t imagine how hard it was to go public with her separation. Jake says, she’s not married to Doc anymore?

Not-Doc arrives at Ava’s apartment with pie and wine. He knows he’s late for dinner, but was hoping she had time for dessert.

On the Haunted Star, Griff asks Maxie if Kiki ever showed, but Maxie hasn’t seen her. She suggests he check the deck.

Outside of their room, Curtis tells Jordan that he wishes he had a better way to say this. She’s surprised the smoothest talker she knows is out of words. He says he loves her, and thanks her for marrying him and making him the happiest man alive. She loves him too, and he says she didn’t always make it easy. She tells him, the best things never are. They kiss, and Curtis asks if she’s ready to get their wedding night started. She says, let’s get this party started, but he wants to carry his queen over the threshold first. He picks her up, and carries her inside. They see something, and he puts her down. She says, oh my God, and we see someone is in their bed; a woman with her arm hanging out of the covers. Jordan says it looks like they have company, and Curtis says this is their room… Hello? They go over to the bed. Jordan touches the woman’s arm, and says she’s cold. She checks the woman’s wrist, and tells Curtis, there’s no pulse.

Valentin guesses Nina didn’t know he was coming. Charlotte told him Nina invited him. Charlotte says she wanted to do something special, like they used to as a family. Valentin says he’ll leave, but Nina says there’s no reason he shouldn’t join them. Charlotte says, yay! and Nina tells her, but she’s sneaky. She’s sitting in the middle.

Jordan tells Curtis that it’s officially a crime scene. She asks him to get Chase and Valerie. Tell them what happened, and that she needs them now. He leaves, and she calls to report a homicide in the state room at the Haunted Star. She needs uniforms and CSI.

Josslyn asks Cameron how long they’ve known each other. He says, forever. She says they practically grew up together. She assumed she could trust him, but he lied to her face multiple times about something important. Cameron knows it was important, but Oscar begged him to keep the secret. Josslyn says he was scared and hurting; not the best place to make decisions. Cameron is supposed to have her back. He says he didn’t want to be in the middle. If he could go back and not know, he would, but he can’t. Oscar was practically forcing him to keep the secret. Josslyn asks if he ever thought about how it would affect her, and he says, all the time. He figured Oscar deserved the bigger favor. Put herself in his shoes. What would she have done? Josslyn says she would have told him, and he says, really? He says she asked him to be her fake boyfriend, they were spending time together, and it was great. They started kissing, and he wanted to enjoy it, but he couldn’t because he knew the truth. It wasn’t happening because Oscar’s insensitive ass dumped her. It happened because Oscar is dying.

Laura tells the boys that keeping secrets can hurt people, so she chose to bring it out in the open. If they have any questions, it’s okay to ask. Jake asks if can have apple and chocolate pie. Franco takes Aiden and Jake to the counter. Elizabeth tells Laura that she should have prepped them better, but Laura says she chose to release it to the press. It’s one thing to write the words and another to live it.

Not-Doc tells Ava that he understands the art world can be cutthroat. Ava says, you have to trust your instincts, and be ready to act aggressively at a moment’s notice to get what you want. He asks if it works, and she says, you tell me.

Curtis tells Chase and Valerie there’s a body lying face down in his honeymoon suite. Chase tells everyone to stay where they are. The ship just became a potential crime scene. Someone asks what the crime is but he says it’s all the info they have. When they find out more, they’ll pass it along. Valerie and Chase go to the room, and Jordan says they have to secure the ship and do a search. No one goes in or out except law enforcement.

Chase tells Curtis that he’s secured the boat, and they’re waiting for back-up. Curtis says, hang tight. Valerie thinks they might benefit from Griff’s expertise, and asks him to come to the room.

Cameron is sorry, but Josslyn gets it. She never thought about how it was for him. She’s sorry. He was put in an impossible situation, and she’s being a total bitch. He says, maybe partial. She asks if she’s forgiven, and he says he’s joking. He wants it to be done; all the drama. He wants his biggest worry to be his soccer game or what’s for dinner. Josslyn and Oscar can walk in the woods, read poetry, and listen to symphonies, and he’ll be there playing video games. You do you.

Laura tells Elizabeth that Franco is good with the kids. Elizabeth says, sometimes better than her. Laura asks if she’s surprised, and tells her to join the club. She left one husband when she went to Paris, and came home to a different one. Elizabeth asks, what happened? and Laura says she keeps asking herself the same thing. Is it because she was gone to long or is it something with his brother? Elizabeth says, maybe both, but Laura says, there’s another factor. Elizabeth asks, what? and she says, not what; who. Ava Jerome.

Ava is sorry to be forward, but not-Doc likes forward. She says, in light of what’s happening with him and Laura… and he says, Laura doesn’t matter. It’s the two of them who matter. Ava says she’s worried she’s taking advantage, and he says this is where he wants to be. She shouldn’t hide her desires and instincts, or even dim them. Be proud, because she’s incredible.

Valerie brings Griff to the room, and Jordan says she couldn’t find a pulse. She thinks she’s dead. Griff says, she? They go in, and he drops the pashmina. He turns the woman over, and it’s Kiki. He checks for a pulse in her neck, and asks, who would do this to her? He tells Jordan, she’s dead. Jordan knows he wants to stay. She would too, but he needs to leave. They can’t contaminate the crime scene any further. She leads him out, and he picks up the pashmina on the way.

Franco asks Jake how Aiden is doing in school, but Jake doesn’t know. He heard some kids say Aiden is weird. Franco says, weird how? and Jake says, he doesn’t fit in. At the table, Laura says enough about her dysfunctional marriage; any improvement with Aiden in school? Elizabeth says they met with his teacher. She thinks he’s being bullied. Laura asks, by who? and Elizabeth says, apparently, the teacher isn’t allowed to say. It’s probably a good thing. Franco would show up with choice words for the parents Laura wouldn’t blame him. It’s hard to deal with at this age. She asks what the teacher suggested, and Elizabeth says, supporting him being open without confrontation, and how to self-advocate. Laura says, easier said than done, and Elizabeth adds, especially when you’re a little boy intent on shutting everyone out.

Griff comes back crying. Curtis says, oh no, Lulu says, no, and Maxie says, Kiki.

Not-Doc kisses Ava’s neck. She asks him to promise she won’t find him in bed with her daughter. He’s sure she’s a lovely girl, but youth makes her shallow, vapid, preachy, and judgmental. Why would he want that when he can have her?

Jordan asks if Griff is up to answering questions, and he says, sure. She asks when he last saw Kiki, and he says when they were at the apartment, getting ready. He got a call from GH, and they decided to meet there. Jordan says she never showed up, and Griff says he went to the apartment. The door was ajar, but it’s something that could happen if somebody left in a hurry. He found a broken vase on the floor, but again he thought she was just in a hurry. Jordan asks if that’s Kiki’s shawl he’s holding, and he says, it has blood on it. Jordan asks to see the shawl, and Chase bags it. He says it was a couple of drops, and he thought maybe she got cut from the vase. He never thought he was  walking in on a murder scene.

Nina, Charlotte, and Valentin return to their hotel room. Charlotte is all excited about having seen The Nutcracker. Nina says this ballerina needs to get her Pjs on, and Charlotte goes to change. Nina tells Valentin the carriage ride was a nice touch. He says he made arrangements before he knew he was invited. Nina asks if it bothers him that Charlotte lied. He thinks the word lying is a stretch. No harm was done in being manipulative to make the people she loves happy. Nina says he just outlined Charlotte’s total mindset. He asks if that means she’s happier because he’s there. She says it means she’s hungry, and wants room service.

Josslyn tells Cameron that she’s sorry, and he says, stop apologizing. Oscar is sick, so he gets a free pass. She was lied to, so she gets one too. She says, what about him? and he says, it always falls on the messenger. He quotes from Antony and Cleopatra, and she says, he just quoted Shakespeare? He tells her that they had a test last Friday, and she says there was no school. He says it was sometime last week. He steers her to the door, saying, call if she needs anything, but this is for her and Oscar to figure out. Next time they feel like keeping a secret, lying, or creating fake relationships, find someone else. She asks if she’ll see him soon, and he says he’ll be around. She leaves and he looks at a copy of Antony and Cleopatra he’s been reading.

Elizabeth tells Laura that she wishes Cameron was more sensitive. He wanted to watch football. Aiden had been begging them to take him to the movie, and she thought it would be nice to go as a family. If Cameron had gone, Aiden would have had more fun. Laura asks if Elizabeth said anything, but she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. She wonders if she did the right thing, and Laura says she’s a wonderful mother, and never question that. All that matters is that she loves the boys, and they know she does. Franco thinks they should go. Jake is second guessing the two pieces of pie. Elizabeth tells Laura that she’s better than a thousand Ava Jeromes, and don’t forget it.

Chase asks Lulu if she can think of anything else of relevance, but that’s a no. She’s the owner, but isn’t involved much in the day to day running of the place. Today, she’s just a wedding guest. Maxie says, it’s sad. Kiki had her entire life ahead. Chase asks if Maxie is ready to make a statement. Peter ponders and frowns in the background. Jordan says Kiki was killed elsewhere, and moved there. Valerie wonders how it was done without anyone seeing. She’s pulling up whatever they have on Griff. Jordan hates it, but thinks it’s the right call.

Ava and not-Doc get busy.

Crime scene photos are taken. I have to say, I didn’t see this coming.

Chase asks Maxie if she noticed anything suspicious in the parking lot. She says everything seemed normal, except Kiki not bang there. Griff kept checking his phone, and left briefly before the vows. Chase asks, how briefly? and she says, five minutes at most. He stayed at reception, left, and came back. She assumes he was looking for Kiki.

Jordan asks if Griff is comfortable with them searching his place. He says, whatever helps find Kiki’s killer. She tells Chase to do a thorough search of Kiki and Griff’s apartments.

Nina, Valentin, and Charlotte play Go Fish. Nina tells Charlotte to get the fishing rod out. Nina is looking for a six, and Valentin says he has one. She says it’s a nine, and he tells her to turn it upside down. Charlotte says he would do anything to give Nina what she wants. Valentin tells Charlotte it was wrong to lie to get Nina to invite him. Charlotte asks if she isn’t having fun, but he says that’s not the point. Charlotte says the point is them being together, and here they are together. Nina says, that’s a tough one to argue with. Valentin says Charlotte gets it from her.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Cameron is trying to redeem himself by letting the boys tell him about the movie, but Jake is doing all the talking. Aiden picked it, but it’s like he thinks his opinion doesn’t matter. Franco says, about that, and shows her a picture Aiden drew of the family, with himself as a tiny figure in the back corner.

At Kelly’s, the waitress tells Laura that she’s looking forward to having a strong woman in office. Laura says, if she wins, but the waitress says she will.

Ava hates to end the evening, but has to pick up Avery. She still has one daughter who loves her. Not-Doc thinks Avery can wait a few more minutes. As for Kiki… Ava says, put Kiki out of her mind? but he says, better yet, pretend she doesn’t exist.

The all clear is given for the guests to leave. Curtis thanks Lulu and Maxie for making the reception beautiful. Maxie is sorry it ended this way. He is too; not for them, but Kiki and those who loved her. Lulu tells Maxie she’s sticking around to see what else she can learn. Maxie wants to go, and Peter says he’ll drive her.

At home, Elizabeth tells Cameron, no more football. He’s done for the day. She shouldn’t have let him refuse to come. He knew how important it was to his brother. Can’t he see Aiden is struggling? She just asked for one day, and he couldn’t even do that. Does he have anything to say? Cameron says he knows Oscar has brain a tumor, and Josslyn knows too. He told her. He’ll try to be more careful with Aiden next time. He stomps off, and Elizabeth asks Franco if she could have made it any worse. He says, probably.

Josslyn goes to Kelly’s, and asks for a slice of apple pie to go. She takes Cameron’s gift out of her bag and opens it. it’s a picture of them together. She flashes back to when she told him that she had a crush on him when they were younger, and he kissed her.

Nina calls the desk to get Valentin a room for the evening. There’s nothing, and she asks them to bring up some pillows and blankets. She tells Valentin that he can sleep on the sofa. Charlotte says, a sleep over! and says they can have breakfast together in Central Park. Nina tells her, sleepy time, and Charlotte says, it was the best Thanksgiving ever. Valentin tells her to sleep well. Charlotte asks if Nina gets a kiss too, and Nina gives him her cheek. Nina and Charlotte go to bed, and Valentin looks proud of himself.

Jordan asks Lulu to leave with other the guests. She can’t have press at a crime scene. Lulu says she knows this isn’t the way Jordan wanted it to turn out, but she’s a beautiful bride. Curtis seconds that. Lulu leaves, and Curtis says, some wedding, huh? Jordan says she’s sorry, but he tells her it’s not like she asked for this. He likes watching her do her thing, and she says good thing he married her then. He says, it is, and they kiss. Her phone rings. Chase is at Griff’s apartment, and thinks he found something.

Someone bangs on Ava’s door, and she wonders who on earth that could be. It’s Griff.

Tomorrow, Anna tells Britt that she’s bringing Obrecht to justice, Carly thinks it doesn’t make any sense, and Obrecht asks Britt if she’s colluding with Anna.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Stephanie is excited for Travis to go to Harvard. She has everything covered, and thinks a frat party is the way to send him off. In her interview, Stephanie says, when she was in college, she made every mistake you could make. Some of her best memories were on the floor of a frat house. She adds, not having sex, and I’m not sure what to think. Brandi stops by. In Brandi’s interview, she says she didn’t drink or party in college because of the potential weight gain, but is ready to make up for it. Stephanie says there was a choice between a foam pit or a wet T-shirt contest, and she’s already seen enough from Cary’s dip in the Baltic Sea. So foam pit it is. She tries it out, and I wonder, where’d those baby ducks come from?

LeeAnne and Rich go to the Cathedral of Hope to check it out for their wedding. LeeAnne explains that it’s one of the most popular LGBTQ churches. You’re not judged for being different. She’s different, and fits in there. Reverend Dr. Neil comes out to greet them; he’s excited. LeeAnne says it sounds clichéd, but they complete each other. Where she’s weak, he’s strong, and vice versa. It seems more like she means they complement each other. Complete always irritates me. It sounds like you’re incomplete on your own. In her interview, LeeAnne says they found their way, no matter the bullfh*t created by her friends. They leave that outside of their universe. She and Rich check out the smaller venue, and decide on the date, April 27^th. LeeAnne says it’s been a long journey.

Jeremy tells D’Andra that he’ll believe it when it’s signed. They’re meeting Dee at a restaurant. Today, she’s officially turning over the company. D’Andra says it’s just family and co-workers. She didn’t want any tension in the room. Dee thanks everyone for being there, and says it’s D’Andra’s time to shine. They sign the contract. In her interview, D’Andra says she’s fearful of future, but it’s the best time of her life. She can make it happen.

Afterwards, Dee and D’Andra sit and talk. D’Andra wishes her grandmother was there. Dee says, it’s a great day for family. She tells D’Andra that all she has to do is say, mom, I need you, and she’ll be there. All D’Andra wants is for Dee to be proud of her. Dee tells her that she keeps saying that, but Dee is proud of her today. She thinks D’Andra will reach heights she didn’t. In D’Andra’s interview, she says all she wanted was to hear her mother say she thought D’Andra was a success. Tonight, she did, and she believes it.

Kameron and LeeAnne meet to go shopping for Travis’s gift. LeeAnne chooses a beer bong. In her interview, Kameron says she doesn’t know what to get someone for a frat party. They’re usually more interested in being wasted. LeeAnne thinks it will be an attack LeeAnne party. No one believes Brandi stole her phone. In Kameron’s interview, she thinks Brandi took her time bringing it back. LeeAnne says if she’d cloned Brandi’s phone, the phones would have had to be near each other. If Brandi doesn’t like the word alcoholic, she has another one – stupid. She thinks it’s unbalanced. Stephanie hasn’t called her, and she hasn’t heard from D’Andra. Every ounce of her wants to walk in and say, the peaceful bitch is at home, banging on the singing bowl, and bitch LeeAnne is back to kick ass. She asks Kameron if Court is coming; Rich is out of town. They decide to go together if Court doesn’t go. They decide to get a cocktail.

Stephanie sets up for the party. Brandi shows up wearing her cheerleader uniform from high school. Oh, bully for her. In her interview, Stephanie says Brandi is reliving her glory days, and she’s all for it. The fridge is packed with Jell-O shots, and they do a couple. Stephanie says LeeAnne is going to be there, and Brandi says there are only so many times she can forgive and move on. She can’t take LeeAnne seriously because of Kameron’s voicemail. Now it’s a joke. We see a clip of Kameron leaving a message, saying LeeAnne was joking about cloning the phone. Stephanie says Kameron has LeeAnne’s back. In Brandi’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Brandi doesn’t get why Kameron thinks she owes LeeAnne. Stephanie thinks LeeAnne is a sense of security for her. LeeAnne is a strong personality, and protects her. In Stephanie’s interview, she says sometimes supporting someone isn’t being a good friend, but being a doormat. Stephanie says LeeAnne is Kameron’s safety net.

LeeAnne comes by Kameron’s place. She’s still in her robe, and says she didn’t wash her hair. She wants to dunk it in the bathtub, and asks if LeeAnne will help her wash it. LeeAnne is like, no way, as I would be. In her interview, Kameron says she always said no to foam parties because they’re gross and dirty. Kameron shows LeeAnne the costume she got; the yellow plaid suit from Clueless. They decide to be twinsies, and LeeAnne leaves to get something matching while Kameron gets ready.

Jeremy is ready to rock. D’Andra calls Dee, and says she’ll be seeing LeeAnne. She doesn’t know what happened. In her interview, D’Andra says she made an effort to mend the friendship at the fashion show, and was honest with LeeAnne. We flash back to LeeAnne telling D’Andra that she wouldn’t have been invited if they weren’t talking. D’Andra says it was a low blow, and Dee tells her, if it’s not working for all parties, they should go their separate ways. Jeremy agrees. He tells D’Andra to be strong, say her piece, and be done.

LeeAnne meets Kameron in a matching outfit. Kameron says everyone will stare at them like they’re mean girls. Kameron tells LeeAnne that they should stay positive, and not let anyone be mean to them. In Kameron’s interview, she says she’s nervous about what might happen between Brandi and LeeAnne. Brandi gets away with way more. LeeAnne says she heard Brandi is wearing her cheerleader outfit. Kameron says Brandi never stops talking about being a cheerleader. When will it end? There’s more to that girl than being a cheerleader. LeeAnne says, is there?

The guests arrive. Mark asks Cary if he looks stupid. She says no, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. Cary is wearing a crop top and booty shorts. In her interview, Stephanie says Cary bought Converse, and thinks it’s a costume. Foam blows everywhere, even on the tables of food. Bleh. Mark is a Jell-O virgin, and takes a shot. Callie-Roo the kangaroo is back along with owner Chase. Brandi thinks it’s fitting for a frat party.

D’Andra tells Cary, Stephanie, and Brandi about her mother giving her the company. Kameron and LeeAnne arrive. D’Andra thinks Kameron is working LeeAnne. Brandi says LeeAnne couldn’t think of anything better to wear, since she didn’t go to college. How mean is that? And interesting how they both assumed it was LeeAnne’s idea. In Cary’s interview, she says the best thing about it, is that a third girl, who’s nineteen, showed up wearing the same thing.

Mark chugs out of the keg. Stephanie asks LeeAnne to please tell her that she didn’t tap into Brandi’s phone. LeeAnne says there’s so much evidence Brandi had her phone, that she wanted her to feel the torture she did when she lost her phone. It caused genuine stress in her life, and thought she’d put some in Brandi’s life. Stephanie says, so it was like tit for tat, and LeeAnne says, 100%, but her tat will always bigger than Brandi’s tit.

Brandi tells Kameron that she loves her, and it was shocking when D’Andra said LeeAnne claimed she stole her phone. She didn’t know LeeAnne was upset; she just picked up the phone and returned it. LeeAnne tells Stephanie that she can only take so much, then has to give the person a dose of their own medicine. She has no ability to clone a phone. Stephanie says, so it was a lie, and LeeAnne says, it was a joke. In her interview, Stephanie says she wants LeeAnne to listen, and not feel attacked. She doesn’t want her to go back into that crazy hole either; it scares her. Kameron tells Brandi that she gets why Brandi would want the phone. She would steal a phone that had picture like that of her. LeeAnne tells Stephanie that there’s no rule that allows her to light someone on fire. If there was, so many people would be in flames.

Brandi says LeeAnne is not a reasonable human being. She left her phone in the bar. Who could believe Brandi was even that close to her? Brandi gets loud and squeaky, and tells Kameron to use her brain. In her interview, Brandi says, it’s hard not to think that LeeAnne puppeteers Kameron. Brandi says LeeAnne blames her for being drunk and leaving her phone, and tried to hurt her family. Kameron says LeeAnne thought she stole the phone. Cary thinks they should talk to LeeAnne. In Brandi’s interview, she says Kameron is supporting LeeAnne when she’s wrong. She’s officially LeeAnne’s bitch.

D’Andra joins the group, and says any lie is not okay. Kameron asks if D’Andra is done with LeeAnne too. As usual, D’Andra makes wishy-washy um sounds, and says she’s done with the lying. She’s had it up to there. When they were at the fashion show, she told LeeAnne that she would never not support her, but LeeAnne said if they weren’t speaking, D’Andra wouldn’t have been invited. In her interview, D’Andra says she realized she was disposable. LeeAnne used her to social climb, and now she’s using Kameron the same way. I’m not sure why what LeeAnne said was such a big deal. If they weren’t friendly, why would LeeAnne invite her? Stephanie doesn’t think Brandi stole the phone, but LeeAnne thinks it was because of the video. She wanted something on LeeAnne. Stephanie suggests they talk, but LeeAnne doesn’t want to ruin the party. Stephanie pulls Brandi over.

In Brandi’s interview, she says, out of respect for Stephanie, she’ll speak to LeeAnne. Stephanie tells Brandi that LeeAnne feels that Brandi stole her phone, but she told LeeAnne that she doesn’t think so. LeeAnne says she thinks Brandi thought she still had the images, and wanted to make sure they were gone. Brandi asks why would she hand it over? LeeAnne left it in the bar. LeeAnne thinks Brandi knew she’d eventually find it in the next room. They don’t believe each other. Brandi says the difference is LeeAnne lies. LeeAnne says it’s was a joke. When Brandi called her the wicked bitch of the west, she cried. Brandi tells LeeAnne that she didn’t say west. LeeAnne said she was an alcoholic. LeeAnne doesn’t think she ever actually called her that, but the not pot stirring pot stirrer, Cary, says she inferred it. LeeAnne says, that’s a totally different thing, and we flash back to that. D’Andra says that her mom said LeeAnne was concerned because she was an alcoholic. LeeAnne says she told Dee that she thought D’Andra was drinking too much, and she’ll deal with Dee. Brandi asks LeeAnne who she thinks she is, and gets in LeeAnne’s personal space, pointing her finger in LeeAnne’s face. So LeeAnne actually pokes Brandi with her finger. Yeah, I know, but I don’t blame her, and Brandi is obviously provoking her. That should be a codicil regarding the law about touching people. Brandi tells LeeAnne to take her ass out of there, and repeats variations of that. LeeAnne glares at her. Stephanie gets in between them, and Brandi says LeeAnne doesn’t scare her. Cary tells LeeAnne to stop it, and LeeAnne says, what about Brandi? Cary says, both of them stop it. In Cary’s interview, she says LeeAnne has impulse control issues, and jumps to aggression when she’s backed into a corner. Brandi is trying to make it worse. Cary tells Mark, they’re both effing crazy. Brandi starts crying. LeeAnne tells her, go ahead and cry. Be the MF-ing victim she created for herself. Brandi wails that she just wants LeeAnne out of her life.

Kameron and Cary go to the table where LeeAnne is sitting. Kameron asks what she’s doing, and LeeAnne says, watching Brandi cry after attacking her. LeeAnne asks Cary if Brandi didn’t attack her, and Cary confirms that, but says LeeAnne has to be better. LeeAnne says she didn’t try to escalate the situation, and Cary says, just walk away. LeeAnne lies on the ground, and asks Jesus to tell her wtf to do. She’s so alone. Cary says she’s there. Brandi is still weeping, and Cary tells LeeAnne, get up. LeeAnne asks Cary what she wants her to do. In her interview, Cary says, dramatic much? LeeAnne says Brandi started it, and thanks Cary for saying what she saw. In Cary’s interview, she says Brandi was pushing LeeAnne’s buttons, trying to get her to flip her sh*t to prove she hasn’t changed. Kameron gives LeeAnne kudos. She walked in, knowing Brandi was on the attack, and kept her cool. She stayed away, and Brandi came after her. In her interview, Brandi says it’s Stephanie’s party, and she feels caught in the middle. Why would Stephanie be in the middle? She’s Brandi’s best friend. LeeAnne doesn’t deserve her as a friend. I say, jealous much?

LeeAnne tells Stephanie that she thought she had as much right to be there. Stephanie says she’s not asking LeeAnne to leave. LeeAnne says Brandi started it.

D’Andra tells Brandi that, when LeeAnne stepped back, she saw LeeAnne’s personality change; it scares her. In her interview, she says it was the old LeeAnne, rearing its ugly head. At this point, she’s more interested in Brandi’s lightheartedness and fun. LeeAnne lives in a dark, looming, dreary place. D’Andra does some beer pong. Since it’s the finale, the text tells us that the company is doing well, D’Andra hasn’t spoken to LeeAnne, and she has more than $200 in her bank account. Are we going to have to hear all about that again at the reunion?

Cary suggests everyone get in the foam. We see that Kameron has found a distributor, but still needs a partner, and she’s developing a Sparkle Dog spray made from edible glitter. I saw her dog food online not that long ago. We’re told the renovations were completed at Mark and Cary’s house, but were an inch off-center, and it had to be redone. We also learn that Mark’s $70K stove has its own Instagram account. That’s just sad.

The date for LeeAnne and Rich’s wedding is April 27^th, 2018, and D’Andra won’t be the maid of honor – for now. Since she’d actually be the matron of honor, I’ll just assume that’s what they meant.

Stephanie tells us that tonight was horrible, but her marriage is in an amazing place. She feels empowered. She’s learned life isn’t about loyalty, it’s about being real, and true to yourself. She wants to be authentic. We read that she survived without Travis for a month, but he’s going back to Harvard in February.

Kameron says she’s learned her instincts are on point. LeeAnne has been an inspirational person in her life, and she’s lucky to call herself LeeAnne’s friend. LeeAnne says Kameron is her rock. Kameron says she wants to make out with LeeAnne, but that would be inappropriate.

Brandi stands at the top of a human pyramid. We see that Bruin has been officially adopted. He’s learning to talk, and says, excuse me, when passes gas – which is often. Of course. D’Andra catches Brandi as she dives off the pyramid.

Next week – The Reunion – Part One – D’Andra reveals a secret she’s kept about LeeAnne, Stephanie still struggles with depression, a disgruntled florist is the one who spread rumors about Mark, Mama Dee makes an appearance, and D’Andra insists Rich is a cheater.

💫 When Housewives Get Personal…

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the trip to Oklahoma was still on, and when the ladies (term used loosely) went to Bartlesville, I got excited. What could be exciting about a town called Bartlesville in Oklahoma, you ask? Or you don’t, but I’ll tell you anyway. My abundant love for Pekingese dogs led me to join an online Peke dog group ages ago. Every few years, some of the members get together. Not enough to call it a convention, but a gathering perhaps. After I’d been in the group a while, they began to organize another one. I wasn’t planning on going, but found out it would be in Bartlesville. Which wouldn’t be exciting on its own, but my closest internet friend, who was not in the group, also lived there. We had never met in person, but she’d recently gone through a nightmare divorce, and we’d been wanting to visit one another. Cue Twilight Zone music… Seriously, what are the odds? I ended up having a blast, and although my friend only had a cat, she became an honorary member of the group. It was like a four-day PJ party. I have to warn you, should you decide to visit, all meals are beef with a side of beef. There is also okra. While I tolerate it in gumbo, I hate okra. But you’ve never tried it made the right way, they said. I did. I still hate it. Loved the breading, but inside, it was still okra.

Besides going to Bartlesville, the NJ Wives also learned how to show an animal. In this case, cows. They were given a lesson on to groom them in preparation for a show, and had a mock showing with just them. Teresa was afraid of the cows. Afraid. Of. Cows. And we’re not talking about a herd of stampeding cows either. Apparently, she isn’t a fan of large animals, including big dogs, because they can’t talk to you, so you don’t know what they’re thinking. Or they could ram into you. Did she learn nothing in prison?

The other standout was new Wife Jennifer, who I’m not too impressed with. I’m not sure what her deal is, but when she wasn’t bragging, she was complaining. My favorite part was when she FaceTimed with her little girl, who wailed that she couldn’t live without mommy, until mommy said she’d get her a $400 Barbie Dreamhouse, and the tears dried up real quick. Jennifer was incredibly rude to their hostess, who was a close friend of Marge’s. When Marge said Jennifer had the worst manners of anyone she’d ever met, Jennifer asked what she was going to do about it? Are we on a playground at an elementary school? At the end, she claimed she was just trying to fit in, but I don’t think that’s the way to do it. There was the usual Joe #2/his father drama, and Joe #3 got stuck playing nanny/butler/foot masseuse to Marge Sr. while Marge Jr. was away. Next time, we’ll see the fabulous house Jennifer kept bragging about, and other new Wife, Jackie, dares to bring up Joe #1 being in prison to Teresa.

🐮 Where New Jersians Meet…