What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
For a moment, I was unsure if I was suddenly transported to France in the middle of the night, and didn’t realize, since I turned on GH and saw news footage of the fire at Notre Dame. Over and over and over. I figured it was a possibility, since we’d had a mother of a storm in the wee hours. I personally slept through it – I slept through Hurricane Sandy – on the third floor – but by the havoc my dogs wreaked, it looked like it had blown through the house. Maybe we’d had done an Oz thing, and ended up in Paris. Anyway, because I was still in the US, and it was only the usual incessant coverage of a big story, there was no GH today. A half hour in, we were treated <cough> to an encore presentation of the day Lulu woke up from Ryan’s attack. A new episode will be shown tomorrow. There’s a cup of soap tea below to tide you over.
And it did bring to mind this quote: God gave Noah the rainbow sign, no more water, the fire next time! – Mary Don’t You Weep, a Negro spiritual. Just saying…
Vanderpump Rules
Fluffy! Giggy! LVP meets Ken at SUR, giving Giggy a kiss first, as I would. She asks Katie, what’s happening with Girl’s Night? Katie wants to do more, but not once a week. LVP suggests twice a month, but Katie says she isn’t interested in being a club promoter. She just did it because everyone was saying no one could bring in people like James did. LVP says Girl’s Night was a success, and Katie brought it to her. Katie says, it’s a lot of work, and Ken says Tuesdays haven’t been the same without James. In Katie’s interview, she can’t believe James is irreplaceable, and thinks SUR is doing fine without him. LVP agrees James was bad news, but at least committed. Katie was thinking of more down the road. In her interview, LVP says she’s supportive of Katie, but people will be pissed if Girl’s Night is canceled. She tells Katie maybe she should think about doing something sooner, since Schwartz’s check was like a big rubber ball. Katie says he forgot the account was closed. I so don’t understand that. How many accounts does he have that he can forget something like that?
Tom plays a d*ck flute, which is basically a song flute shaped like a d*ck. James comes over, and asks how Mexico was. Tom and Ariana both say, fun, but horrible. In James’s interview, he says it was probably Schwartz and Katie fighting the entire time. They’re an old, fat married couple. Good Lord. What does this dude have against fat people? I’m not inferring they’re fat either. It’s just that he uses it constantly as an insult. He says, a couple dinners with sleepy, dozy, horsey Kristen. He doesn’t need it. Ariana says she’s going to Lala’s performance with Kristen. Tom says, it started with a kiss. Now Kristen is taking Ariana on dates. She’s his dumpling, and Kristen can’t have her. Ariana says Lala has a short fuse, and she gets it – it’s the five year anniversary of her dad’s death – but the fight or flight has to stop. She says James has been there; it’s kind of his thing. James says he hasn’t been instigating lately, but Tom says Billie wants him to DJ her brunch, and he can’t do it because of what happened with Lala. James says he’s leaving. He had nothing to do with it. He guesses they’re all not friends anymore, and this is the end of him. He says, bye, and walks out. Ariana says, all right, and suddenly, James is back in the apartment. He says, this is bullsh*t, and Ariana says they’re just trying to help. He tells her, they’re all pushing him to the end of the island, and Ariana says she’s not doing anything. He says Tom told him, do his job, and keep his head down, and he’s still being excluded. Tom says he’s screwed up so many times, all of his actions are under a microscope. In his interview, Tom says James is held to a different standard, and has to take it in stride. Ariana says he’s done plenty, and now he just has to do what he needs to do. He says he’s only doing his best for so long. Straight up.
Stassi is doing her photo shoot for Next Level Basic. The book is about embracing your basic bitch. Beau and Katie come for moral support. In her interview, Stassi says she feels like Carrie Bradshaw. She wants to try different basic bitch poses and props; like an iced vanilla latte. She poses like she’s taking a selfie. Basically, she’s just trying to be Scheana. Katie shows her the invite flyer for the puppy shower. She says she was invited, but said no. She said wtf? The photographer tells her to play it up, and they’re done. She says now that she has the hot photos, she needs to finish the book. They head to the coffee bar. Katie says the basicness is rubbing off on them. Out of Stassi’s earshot, Katie asks how Beau feels dating an author. He says he’s been thinking a lot of the stress in Mexico was about the book. Katie says Stassi talking to her about some of it. We see a clip of Stassi telling Katie that she has trust issues, and she’s afraid of it ending. Katie tells Beau that Stassi is used to self-sabotaging. Now that she has a great guy, she doesn’t think she deserves it. Katie thinks she’s scared. Beau says he sees it too. In her interview, Katie says if Stassi doesn’t stop lashing out, she’s going to lose the love of her life. It’s time to do something drastic.
Brittany and Jax go to therapy. Brittany tells therapist Lindsey that she has people coming in for the engagement party on Tuesday. In her interview, Brittany says she might have gone a little overboard planning, but wants it perfect. We see a clip of her telling Jax that she wants to fairytale it up. She has a lot of family members coming in, and it’s the perfect time to show them how great she and Jax are doing. He can do no wrong in her mom and mamaw’s eyes, but she’s excited for Jax and her dad to talk. They used to fight a lot, and her family saw them fight. We flash back to some of that, and her dad’s concern, saying he’s not 100% on board. Brittany says they had a hard time for a while, and she wants her dad to see how good they’re doing now. Jax thinks for the most part, they’re good. Brittany says he still gets defensive, and says things are her fault, like if he can’t find his keys. Lindsey asks if Jax thinks that’s her fault, and he says, no. He just needs someone to yell at. I have no words, except at least he put it out there. Lindsey asks how he thinks that makes Brittany feel. Part of couple’s therapy is about slowing down and developing empathy. He says they’re going down the right path, but Brittany says she still doesn’t trust him a little bit. Like if he’s late, she’s wondering where he is. Lindsey says that’s part of the sadness; she’s being real. Jax says it’s the first he’s hearing it. Lindsey asks if it’s hard hearing it, and Brittany says she doesn’t want any what if?s once they’re married. In her interview, she says, every now and then, she sees glimpses of Jax’s old behavior; like him talking over her, or being disrespectful. Lindsey says, any time it happens, they have to be totally transparent. Jax says it’s made them stronger, and made Brittany stronger. She doesn’t let anyone bully her or push her around. Brittany agrees that’s true. In Jax’s interview, he doesn’t advocate anyone cheat to make their partner stronger, but that was some good that came out of it. Jax says Brittany tends to give everyone a chance.
Schwartz calls his banker, and says he needs $50K. She says she’ll put in a request. In his interview, he says he’s always wanted to be the dude with the suitcase filled with cash. He wants to show Lisa that he’s a man of action. We flash back to Lisa calling him a p*ssy, then to her telling him the check bounced. He has the banker double-check that he has enough. He feels like a gangster with a heart of gold.
Ariana and Kristen go out. Kristen says she’s courting Ariana, and Ariana says Kristen had to ask her dad permission. We see a clip of Kristen knocking on Tom and Ariana’s door. Tom asks who it is, and she says she’s the ghost of his apartment’s past, which is pretty clever. Tom shows her what changes he’s made. They sit on the couch, and Kristen feels like she’s sitting with Ariana’s dad. Ariana is finally ready, and Tom tells them, keep it PG. Ariana tells Kristen not to be a downer, but her dad died five years ago tonight. In her interview, Ariana says this was also when Kristen said Ariana was having an affair with Tom. It was like WWII. Kristen says she was a d*ck that day. In her interview, Kristen says she remembers saying she knew Tom was Ariana’s friend, but he was her boyfriend, and he left to be with her. That summer, she wasn’t thinking about Ariana’s feelings, and that her father passed away. She tells Ariana that she wishes it could be erased. Ariana says it all worked out, and Kristen says, the bottom line is that Tom and Ariana are better together than she and Tom ever were.
Lala sets up at her venue, Sweet! Hollywood. Katie joins her, and Lala says she has record labels coming in, but she’s trying to forget that. Ariana, Kristen, and Jax come in, and Jax says he’s here to celebrate. He finally had a solid poop. Thanks for oversharing. Peter brings in roses from Lisa, who couldn’t be there. The guys question Adam about being in the friend zone, yet still having sex. Jax says, that’s hard to do, but he’s doing it. Lala comes out.
In Lala’s interview, she says. this show is important. She’s releasing a song she wrote for her dad. Unfortunately, her dad never saw her perform. She starts to get choked up, and says, so this is special moment for her. She wants her dad to know that she’s grateful for the woman he raised. She wouldn’t be this person without him. Lala performs two songs. Afterward, Stassi says she was so intense; she was so in it. Lala tells Stassi that she’s a beautiful human being, and if anyone says different, they don’t know who she is. Stassi asks if someone’s been talking about her, and then laughs. Lala asks where Stassi and Beau are, and Stassi says she feels like an a-hole. Alcohol fuels it, and here she is drinking. It brings out the demons she already has; the feelings from the past. Alcohol makes her say, screw it. In her interview, Stassi says, for the first time, she doesn’t know what to do. She’s terrified by her own behavior. Beau is not replaceable. Lala says when Stassi freaks out, she has her back.
Tom asks Ariana how drinks went with Kristen. She says Kristen remembered where she was five years ago and felt badly about it. Tom says it’s going to sound bad, but at that point, he felt he was going through it with her in a sense. Even back then, she meant a lot to him. She says he was always a good friend, and he hugs her. In his interview, he says they were just friends, but he cared deeply about her, and had to be there. He knows what that means now, but maybe not at the time. Ariana says it’s been a great day.
Raquel asks if Graham is excited to see his friends. Graham doesn’t answer because he’s a dog. She tells James that they’re playing pin-the-tail-on-the-puppy, and some kind of poopy toss game. He hopes not with real poopies. In Raquel’s interview, she says, having a puppy is like having a baby. It’s a big commitment, and you have to teach it everything. They discover a real poopy in the hallway, but don’t say whether they’ll be using it for a game. In her interview, Raquel says, it’s good practice for the babies James will have. We all go, what? and she says, she meant her and James. Freudian slip? Tom, Ariana, Peter, Scheana, and Adam represent. Raquel’s mom, Laura, helps with everything. In his interview, James says, she has no barrier. She says what’s on her mind, and he’s like the embarrassed son. Laura tells Peter how handsome he is, and touches his chest.
Raquel explains the first game, saying, you chug rosé while blindfolded, spin around, and pin the tail on the puppy. It’s a cute puppy. Giving Raquel props for painting it. Ariana thinks the party is 98% Raquel and 2% James. In his interview, a producer asks James why the puppy shower is important, and he says, it was Raquel’s idea. He’s just going along, but he loves it. Ariana ends up having to wear the cone of shame, but it’s not clear why. Tom says it’s good James isn’t drinking. James says he didn’t drink at Billie’s brunch, and that’s probably why he didn’t take Lala’s bait, taking it to the next level. Tom asks where James sees himself. Does he see himself back at SUR? In James’s interview, he says he’s been fired and rehired several times at SUR, and has his foot back in the door. He tells Tom he doesn’t think his run there is over. Tom asks, what if it doesn’t happen? and James says he’d have to start a new life. Straight up (apparently, his new favorite phrase). Tom thinks you should always have back up. Raquel thanks everyone for coming, and says Graham is happy to have so many friends there. In her interview, Ariana thinks when people say how their pets feel, it means that’s how they feel. Well, yeah. You’re point?
Ariana doesn’t like bartending when she’s hung over, but here we are. Scheana gripes that she never sees Ariana any more because of living on the west side. Lala asks to talk to Scheana in private. She tells Scheana that she’s been counting how many times she’s been drinking, and thinks she has a for real problem. Her anxiety attack in Mexico was 100% driven by alcohol. She can’t mess with alcohol, and it needs to be a lifestyle. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s been feeling emotionally confused. She tells Scheana that she’s angry, sad, and happy. It’s a lot, and her heart is so broken. In her interview, she says that after her father’s death, she was drinking every day. She takes a break, then falls back, and starts breaking down again. Scheana says she thinks it’s become an issue, but she’s handling it by making the difficult decision to never have a drink. Lala adds that she’s on her period, and Scheana says, at least that means there’s no baby. Lala tells her, good point.
Katie drives Schwartz to the bank, since he gets skittish in the rain. Katie says he should handcuff the money to himself. He’s lost his ID a million times. In his interview, he in his fantasy, he hands off the briefcase, Lisa opens it, and says, well done, Schwartzy. Then he has sex with an Eastern European woman who’s trying kill him. He asks Katie if she’s coming to watch, but she says she’s taking Stassi to see a real oracle. She’s a bonafide witch, who’s studied with shamans. Katie thinks it could be a method of therapy for Stassi. In her interview, she says, Stassi could use some magic. She tells Schwartz that he’ll be fine, but he’s nervous. He wonders, what if gets mugged? What if the bank teller sends the information to someone else, and he gets abducted or killed? While he’s in the bank, Katie calls Stassi, and tells her they’re all set. She asks if Stassi is excited, and Stassi says, no; scared, but she wants to be exorcised. Schwartz comes back with a tote bag full of cash. He feels 17% sexier, and asks if she wants to pull over and have sex. She says, not particularly.
Tom brings Ariana to TomTom in the sidecar. Inside, he tells her it’s the quiet before the storm. Schwartz comes in with briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. Tom asks if he’s effing kidding. Schwartz says, people get killed for way less, and Tom tells him to shush. In his interview, Schwartz says when every time he visualized the scene, he was a different James Bond, A man of few words, sexy, debonair. Hello, Vanderpussy. I’ve got your money. Schwartz meets Ken and Lisa in the back. Giggy! He says he’s had a stressful day, and Lisa tells him, welcome to her world. He has something for her. He uncuffs the briefcase, and says he wants to show her that he’s serious. He opens the case, and they laugh. Lisa asks what he had to sell to get it, and he says, his body. She asks, how many times? and he says, ten thousand. She asks why it’s in small bills, and he tells her visual impact. Ken takes pictures. Schwartz asks If it’s official, and Lisa says, it’s official, baby. In his interview, Schwartz says, the name is Schwartz; Tom Schwartz. And I like my shots halved, not whole. In Lisa’s interview, she says she’s proud of him. Of course, it’s ridiculous. He drops the briefcase, and they gather up the packs. Lisa takes it to the safe.
Stassi is nervous. Oracle Amanda wants to do a quick clearing ceremony before Stassi comes in. Stassi stands in the doorway, holding her hands out, and closing her eyes. Amanda says, blah-blah-blah, boo! or something like that, scaring Stassi. In her interview, she says she loves the supernatural, and dabbling in it, but it’s normally more lighthearted. She feels like she walked into the Blair Witch house. Amanda, Stassi, and Katie sit in a circle. Stassi says she has issues with getting angry. She acts out, and it’s like she can’t control it. Katie says everyone becomes the bad guy. Stassi says she’s finally in a relationship with somebody wonderful, and she sees herself coming at him. She’s brought a photo, and gives it to Amanda, who sees lot of love between them. She says Stassi has to get the power under control. When she has angry outbursts, a demonic spirit is possessing her. In Stassi’s interview, she says, she’s not just mean; she’s demonic. Amanda says it’s possible the spirit is one she called in to protect her. She doesn’t need it anymore, and has to transform the spirit that’s causing suffering. She tells Stassi to call up an image of the demon. Think of the times she lashes out. We flash back to the times she’s gotten on Beau’s case. Amanda tells her to say out loud what it feels like. Stassi says, it’s hot and dark, like a heavy cloud. Amanda wants her to tell the spirit how she feels, and Stassi says, she feels angry. Amanda says, tell it what she wants it to do. Stassi wants it to leave, and Amanda does some chanting, and waves her arms around. In her interview, Stassi says she feels hopeful and helpless at the same time. It’s the most draining experience of her entire life. Amanda says, the circle has been cast, and asks what Stassi sees. Stassi says, it seems younger and lighter. A cloud on the best day. Like a Mario brothers cloud. Amanda tells her to feel it melting with her body, and tinkles some chimes. She asks Stassi to come back in the space. It was a turning point. Her wound has healed, and now Stassi can become the most magnificent badass version of herself. She asks what Stassi learned, and Stassi says, her trying to be powerful and in control, doesn’t serve her loved ones or herself. She doesn’t need be in control. It will be fine. In her interview, Stassi says, admitting you have demons is the first part in being better. She’s just begun the hard part. Katie says it shows Stassi is a worthy, beautiful person, and she’s proud of her.
Next time, Brittany’s family arrives, Scheana goes on a date with someone other than Adam, Lisa tells James not to be a two year old, and Brittany reveals her dress. Jax also tells Brittany’s father that he’ll always make himself number one, but I’m guessing that editing is involved. Even Jax can’t be that stupid. Can he?
🍝 It’s Still Not About the Pasta…
Of course everybody hates James.
🐉 A Dragon Flies Into Winterfell…
Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway? Daenerys: Whatever they want.
So after a two-year (!) break, we finally got a new episode of Game of Thrones. Nothing phenomenal happened, but that’s not surprising for the first episode of a season. They’re going to have to work up to topping a White Walker dragon and the Wall falling. The main points were that Samwell told Jon who he really is and at the end Bran saw Jaime come into town, and their eyes met. My favorite moment though, was Jon getting his first ride on a dragon. It was both exciting and funny, and like every childhood dream. A little rougher than riding on Falcor of The Neverending Story though. For a more detailed recap…
If you like it straight up (like James):
https://nypost.com/2019/04/14/game-of-thrones-premiere-offers-major-reveal-little-carnage/
Or with a tongue-and-cheek twist:
https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-recap-everybody-gets-a-reunion/
👑 When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. – George R. R. Martin
🔄 The New Nina…
So sad to see Michelle Stafford go, but switch happens.
📡 In Case You Didn’t Know…
Meet Nora Buchanan.
https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nora-buchanan-170373
🎈 Happy Anniversary!
I’m not always that keen on soap kids, especially since I have the feeling they often hire relatives, but Spencer is the best.
https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nicolas-bechtel-anniversary-170347
🎬 A Documentary She’d Rather Not Be In…
Erika Slezak is getting around, but I’m sure this is one show she would have preferred didn’t need to be filmed.
😞 A Tribute…
Y&R will be honoring Kristoff St. John.
⛅ Stassi’s Cloud…
I’ve never played video games much, because I was always too afraid I’d be one of those people who gets sucked in, plays 24/7, and ends up in rehab. So if, like me, you had no idea what a Super Mario Brothers cloud looked like, here you go.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 