What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

It’s flashback Thursday in Port Charles.

Sonny says he was thinking about how memories define us. We go down Mike Memory Lane; being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, the Nurses Ball when Sonny helped him sing, Mike’s tantrum on Thanksgiving, and Sonny’s decision to move Mike to Turning Woods.

On the phone, Carly says, the Nurses Ball is coming up. She needs the renovations completed, so the attendees can stay over. She expects to hear from them by 5 pm tonight. Cyrus walks in, and says he hopes he’s not interrupting. She says she already told him, they can’t accommodate him. He says he’s meeting someone there, and she suggests they meet somewhere else. Lulu comes in, and thanks him for meeting her. He says he was just explaining to Carly that she invited him to meet there. Lulu says Cyrus is giving an interview to The Invader, and Carly says, next time Lulu wants to interview a drug trafficker, do it somewhere else. Carly walks off, and Cyrus asks if Lulu would prefer another venue, but she says, no. It’s okay. She already reserved a table.

Mac tells Jordan, the hospital security cameras couldn’t get much on the van that dropped off TJ. Officers are canvasing the area to find out if any witnesses noted the license plate. Chase is also coordinating with the detectives in the field. There’s a knock at the door, and Curtis comes in with coffee. Mac says, the department is doing everything in its power to get justice for TJ. He leaves, and Curtis says she didn’t expect Mac not to investigate, did she? She says she never thought it would be so public. She prays TJ doesn’t remember, especially anything connected to Cyrus.

Sam goes into Charlie’s, where Kristina is working behind the bar. She asks if Sam wants her usual; cream, no sugar. Sam says Kristina knows her well, but she came to see how Kristina is doing, since she’s been preoccupied with Molly. Kristina says, for once, her life is drama free. Julian gave her a raise she didn’t ask for. She doesn’t know what she did to make him feel guilty enough to pay her extra. Sam says it’s nothing Kristina did; it’s what Julian did. He made trouble for their mom.

Alexis meets Neil, who’s now sporting a beard, at the MetroCourt. He says they have a lot to discuss. He didn’t want to do it at the hospital, since it’s so public, and since he can’t practice there, he doesn’t have an office. She says she’s sorry his license was revoked, and he says, never mind him. What about her? She says she hasn’t heard from the Bar. She knows they’ll have an issue with her lying under oath, but it’s not an issue that she slept with him, so there’s that. They can be seen in public like normal people. He says, it’s like a first date.

Sonny is waiting for Carly in her office, and she asks how it went. He says, with Mike? Not good. She asks if he got her text, and he says, sorry. His phone was on silent. He’s been looking at the remodel, and thinks she did a fantastic job. She asks if he really likes it, and he says, it seems unfair. They want to remodel, so they find an architect, approve the designs, and pay for it. Problem solved. With his father, it doesn’t matter how much money he spends, how many doctors he talks to, or what tests they run. He’s losing his father to the disease a little more every day, and there’s nothing he can do about it. She hugs him, and he says, sorry. What was her text about? She says, Cyrus Renault.

Cyrus looks around, and Lulu asks if he’s worried his enemies are lurking and going to take him out during the interview. He says his only enemy there seems to be Carly. Lulu says she can smooth things over there, but Cyrus was allegedly involved in a turf war, so Carly’s husband might be a different matter. He says he reached out to Sonny, one businessman to another, but Sonny wasn’t interested. Sonny might have been misled by his wrongful conviction. She asks him to tell her about it, and he says, corrupt members of law enforcement manufactured evidence that put him in prison. Now he’s free to make a fresh start in Port Charles. She asks what his profession is, and he says he’s an investor. She asks what kinds of things he invests in, and he says, whatever catches his interest and is profitable. It’s all open and above board. She asks how his investments came to the attention of the DEA. We flash back to Jordan visiting Cyrus in prison. He says Jordan had been his right hand, and asks if she remembers those days. Do they haunt her; the things she did? Jordan says he gave the orders, and made things happen, and he asks if she was always a traitor, or did someone turn her? She asks what he thinks, and he says if she came to embarrass him, mission accomplished. To admit one traitor is a mistake, but four? To paraphrase, Oscar Wilde, it sounds like carelessness. He hopes her associates are okay.

Cyrus tells Lulu that he’s a very successful man who’s making a lot of money. People tend to be jealous. When they couldn’t find evidence, they invented it. She asks if he’s holding any grudges, but he says, absolutely not. He lives in the present, not the past. He sees his mission as improving lives and contributing to the betterment of the community. She says, it sounds noble, but the only way he can gain the support of her readers is to give more personal details. Why did he relocate? Does he have family or friends there? There’s nothing about his personal life online. Laura approaches the table, and he says her timing is impeccable. Lulu says, mom? and he says, Laura is her mother? He should have put it together; two attractive, intelligent women being related. Laura says he didn’t do his homework on her? How careless. She did all of her homework on him.

Alexis says if Neil wants to fight the accreditation board – and she thinks he should – count her in. He thinks it’s too soon for his next move, and she says, nothing is stopping them or getting in the way of them seeing each other. Neil says they can finally discover why they can’t resist the urge to be together, no matter what the cost. We flash back to Alexis and Neil meeting at the opera, and Neil coming to her hotel room later. He says that’s why he invited her; to find out what’s next for both of them.

Jason stands on the pier, and we flash back to the early days when he, Sam, and the rest of us were all infants. We see Sam pregnant; the two of them vowing their love forever; dancing at the Chinese restaurant; goofing around, and Jason winning a stuffed toy for Sam at the fair. We move to them being on the run, getting busy, and getting married. We go back to Jason rescuing Sam from the water when he came back after five years, and revealing himself to her at the hospital. We see them watching fireworks on the Haunted Star, escaping the earthquake, and Sam telling Jason she never stopped loving him.

Kristina asks Sam what Julian did to their mom, but Sam thinks Alexis should tell her. She always finds her courage. Kristina says, cryptic, but true. Brando comes in, and asks if his order is ready. Kristina asks his name, and he says, Brando Corbin. Sam says, as in Mike? and he says, Mike is his second cousin. Kristina says, that makes them cousins too, and introduces herself and Sam. She says Sonny is her dad. He’s not Sam’s dad, but she’s a qualifying Corinthos. Brando says Sam is a heroine, but Sam says she wouldn’t take it that far. He says she rescued Dev from Shiloh. It was a messed up situation. He doesn’t get how anyone can fall for that mumbo jumbo cult stuff. We flash back to Kristina telling Jason about Dawn of Day, and that it’s the best thing that ever happened to her. We see Molly telling Kristina, it’s all she talks about. Kristina says, it transformed her life, and Molly says, more like taken over. We move to Jason rescuing Kristina.

Felix sees TJ is back work, on crutches no less. Impressive, and a touch masochistic. TJ says he missed a lot of work. It’s time to get back in the game. Felix asks if he remembers anything, and TJ says he’s trying. Felix says he will. Molly comes by, and hopes TJ is checking his every move with his orthopedist. She doesn’t think making the rounds on crutches is good for his leg. He says she’s already in domestic partner mode, then asks if that sounds clinical. She says they’re the most romantic words she ever heard. She’s just making sure he’s okay. She’s meeting her sisters at Charlie’s. She’s going to let them know that she and TJ are going to be an official couple in the eyes of the law. He says, sorry he can’t drive her. When is her car out of the shop? She says, soon she hopes. He’s glad she wasn’t hurt, and she says, who knew going over a curb could cause so much trouble? He says she knows he’d never leave her. We flash back to Jordan telling Molly to get over TJ. He doesn’t want to see her. Grow up, and accept there are consequences for her actions. She broke TJ’s heart.

Molly tells TJ, she knows now. Even his mom thought he’d ghosted her. She tells him, go save some lives. She’ll see him soon.

Jordan tells Curtis, the department can’t tie TJ’s abduction to Cyrus. Cyrus might hurt TJ even worse. Curtis says, if they don’t, Cyrus is free to set up shop, using her to make it easy. She says she has a pretty good idea of what Cyrus is planning. How does she stop him without risking TJ’s life, or his, or the lives of everyone she loves?

Carly tells Sonny, Lulu asked Cyrus to meet her at the MetroCourt for an interview, so she couldn’t throw him out. Sonny says, Laura must have told Lulu Cyrus was a threat, and Carly says she guesses Lulu picked the MetroCourt because she felt safe. Cyrus is a free man. Sonny says, he had Lulu’s mother shot, but until they can prove it, he’s just another businessman. Jason arrives, and says Cyrus is at the MetroCourt. Carly says she was just telling Sonny, and Sonny asks if Jason had any pushback from canceling the meeting. Jason says, Cyrus wasn’t happy, but Mike is more important. Sonny says he was thinking about it, and Mike started going downhill after the ambush in Brooklyn. We flash back to Mike telling Sonny, he doesn’t want to do this anymore; Mike saying he saying doesn’t know Brando; and telling Sonny that he’s tired. Mike tells Sonny, once they’re back in Bensonhurst, it will be all right.

Carly tells Sonny, Mike was going down before that. That’s why Sonny wanted to get him into the Alzheimer’s trial. Sonny says, afterwards, Mike was so shaken, he couldn’t go back to enroll. A lost opportunity to improve Mike’s brain function. Jason says, maybe, and Sonny says, you never know. Cyrus tried to take him out in front of his father.

Jordan wonders if she should go to the Feds and confess that she’s just as culpable, but Curtis says, no. She’ll go to prison, and Cyrus will remain free. She says she could tell them about TJ being abducted, and Curtis says, based on what? She knows how well Cyrus covers his tracks. Is there any guarantee they’ll find proof? We flash back to Cyrus telling Jordan there’s not much to do in solitary, except be philosophical. Thinking about all the wrongs he has left to right. She asks what he wants; obviously, it’s not to kill her.

Jordan tells Curtis, maybe TJ will remember something incriminating. He says, a moment ago, she was hoping he wouldn’t.

Mac asks TJ if he’s got a minute, and TJ says he was about to take a break. Mac says they’re doing everything to find out who abducted him, and TJ says, Chase took his statement. Mac says he thought he’d follow up and see if TJ remembers anything new. TJ says he’s thought a lot about it, but nothing comes to mind. Mac says, any detail, even if it seems insignificant, will help.

Kristina says she’ll check on Brando’s order, and goes into the kitchen. Brando asks Sam if he said something wrong, and she says, Kristina was part of DoD. She escaped, but it was a long and painful process. It was scary for the family – and Kristina. Next time, Brando might want to keep his opinions to himself. Kristina comes back with his order, and says he paid online, so they’re good. He says, no; they’re not. He wants to apologize. He was out of line. Molly looks through the window, and sees Brando talking with Kristina. We flash back to Molly being at the garage and kissing Brando. We see her finding out TJ was kidnapped, and telling Brando, it was a mistake and never happened.

Neil says, Alexis has to admit, it’s been an insane couple of weeks. She asks what the odds are that they’d be seated next to each other at the opera, and Britt would be in the same hotel. Neil says, and Alexis telling her ex about it. Alexis still can’t believe Julian felt justified to attack Neil like a feral Neanderthal. Then announcing she and Neil slept together. At the hospital. He says maybe if they hadn’t slept together and lied about it, Sam wouldn’t have said what she did. Alexis says Sam’s words weren’t as hurtful as her taking a drink. She asks if he’s angry; he sounds angry. He says that’s because he is, and she asks, at her or himself. He says, both.

Brando tells Kristina, he’s sorry for making a snap judgement. He didn’t know his mouth was big enough for a size 10. She says, you learn something new every day, and he says let him make it up to her. Whenever her car needs something, come to his shop, and he’ll give her a discount. He leaves, and Kristina says, he couldn’t offer it for free? which is exactly what I was thinking. Sam says, he’s just an opinionated jerk. Outside, Molly asks Brando what he’s doing there. He says, picking up food, and she asks why he was talking to her sisters.

Mac tells TJ, start at the beginning. What he remembers before the abduction. TJ says he was upset about something personal, and figured he’s walk it off, and clear his head. Mac asks if he remembers where he was, but TJ isn’t sure. He heard a car behind him, as he was about to reach the corner. Elm and 10^th. Mac says, it’s deserted there at night, and TJ says, the next thing he knew, they jumped him. They wrestled him to the sidewalk, and put a sack over his head. Mac asks, how many? and TJ says, two. He tried to fight back, but they tied his hands and beat him up. Mac says, keep going, and TJ says he thinks he blacked out. The next thing he remembers is being in the back of a van; there was a sense of room. The muffler was loud, and woke him up. He thought he might be concussed, so he tried to stay awake. Mac asks if he remembers which way they were headed, and TJ says, after a few left turns, they stopped. He heard a train horn. Mac says, the nearest crossing by Elm and 10^th is Dockery. How long was the ride? TJ thinks ten or fifteen minutes. They chloroformed him before he could identify anyone. He came to in a basement. Mac asks if he remembers any sounds or smells, and TJ says he remembers both.

Curtis tells Jordan, going to the Feds isn’t an option. If they haul Cyrus in based on her word, and can’t find a shred of evidence, they’ll be forced to let him go. Cyrus will be out in Port Charles, thinking of a way to get even. Jordan says, unless she tells them about Harmony. Harmony can cut a deal, and  they can put her in the witness protection program. Curtis loves her crystal ball, but as soon as Cyrus finds out Harmony is talking, she’s a dead woman, along with anyone willing to turn state’s evidence. We flash back to Cyrus saying, no locked, windowless room, no mayor, no Commissioner, nothing can keep a determined man from getting what he wants.

Jordan tells Curtis, she’s boxed in, with nothing to do but cooperate.

Cyrus tells Lulu, her mother is concerned for his safety. She insisted he return to Seattle, but when he said he wanted to make his home there, she told him that if he was killed, she’d bring his perpetrators to justice. Lulu says her mother cares about all of her constituents, no matter who they are. He says he’s proud to call himself one of Port Charles’s citizens, and he’s going to work hard be an asset. He’s going to start by contributing to Laura’s campaign.

Sonny tells Carly and Jason, Elizabeth thinks his father should have a DNR. Carly asks what Sonny thinks, and he says, he thinks it’s too soon. Jason says Elizabeth is the best nurse there, and Sonny says, she also suggested palliative care. If something happens, they’ll make sure Mike is in no pain, but they can’t give him treatment. Carly asks what Mike thinks, and Sonny says, Mike didn’t say a lot. He was unfocused. They did have a great moment when he was feeding Mike. Mike liked it, and he could see his dad was still in there. Sonny smiles.

On Monday, Laura looks forward to hearing Cyrus’s decision, Alexis gets an email from the NY Bar Association, and Sonny wants to get it over with.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona apologizes not giving Lu Ann her room. LuAnn says, it’s not about that. It’s that she wasn’t considered, and she was hurt. The spiders and the smell were the worst. She says Ramona knows she’s not a spoiled brat. Ramona says she was wrong, and please come back. LuAnn says she’s going to kick Ramona’s ass at tennis, and she’s sleeping at her own house. Leah says, only in the Hamptons is it like, bitch, I’ll see you on the tennis court. Dorinda doesn’t want to go to the party tonight, and wants to stay home. In Ramona’s interview, she says, it’s her friend’s birthday party in Sag Harbor. She loves the women, but not that much. She wants to get some action; food, wine, dancing, and men. She reminds Sonja about how Elyse called her a trophy wife, and she kept telling Elyse to take it back. Tinsley says, then Sonja threw it on her. Sonja says she was a hard-working wife, and Tinsley says she was too. Sonja asks where the shoe repair place was in her neighborhood, and Tinsley says she’s not getting on this loop. In Leah’s interview, she says, the first rule of a trophy wife is, if you have to explain why you weren’t a trophy wife, you probably were a trophy wife. Leah says Sonja said the same thing to Tinsley that she found offensive.

Tennis coach Adriano comes to Ramona’s. In her interview, she says he’s the hottest tennis pro in Hamptons. LuAnn arrives, and in her interview, says she doesn’t think Ramona stuck her in the basement on purpose; Ramona just doesn’t think. LuAnn isn’t letting it ruin her weekend. She tells Ramona, don’t try to be nice; it’s not her M.O. Ramona says even though there’s a party tonight, she’s going to hang out with her friends, since they’re more important. Dorinda comes out, and asks if their midnight rider is back. In Dorinda’s interview, Ramona uses the 80s method of hiring people. They have to be good-looking, fit, and somewhat datable. This has nothing to do with tennis. LuAnn is competitive, and wants to beat Ramona, and Ramona will just pretend to play while her boobs are hanging out. LuAnn wins the match. Dorinda says she’s never played, and plays better than Ramona.

Leah tells Tinsley, she loves Sonja, but Sonja needs to stop saying she married the bank. We see a clip of drunk Sonja yapping about her private island and yacht. She says, it’s sad that Sonja won’t move on. In Leah’s interview, she says it’s strange how she knows so much about the life Sonja used to live, but nothing about the life she’s living now. The yacht has sailed, and she needs to get over it. LuAnn grills Adriano on his personal life, and he says it’s hard to meet someone in Manhattan. LuAnn says it could happen when he least expects it. It could happen today. He’s like, maybe not.

Ramona has problems with the grill, while Dorinda makes frozé. In her interview, Dorinda thinks what LuAnn went through was intense and difficult, but she’s getting past it. Ramona bitches about no one helping, and whines that there’s no silverware out. Leah explains the silverware is in the napkins. Dorinda and LuAnn get pissed about how Ramona is talking to Leah. In Dorinda’s interview, she wonders if they’re staying there, or working for Ramona. What’s the hourly wage? Leah says that’s how her family talks to each other, and in her interview, says she was raised to respect her elders, so she lets Ramona get away with it – for now. Ramona screeches for help with the grill. In her interview, she says Mario was always in charge of grilling.

They sit down to eat, and Ramona says she was telling LuAnn about their conversation on vulnerability. She asks if LuAnn would like to add something. LuAnn says it’s hard for her not to drink. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, the hard part is knowing she can drink if she wants, but is choosing not to. Right now, she wishes she was back in the game with the girls. She tells them, it’s a challenge for her, and the first time she’s felt that way in a while. In Sonja’s interview, she says she’s proud of where LuAnn is; that she can be open and honest. LuAnn says it would be fine if she drank, but she’d be upset with herself. In her interview, she says she made a resolve not to drink. In Leah’s interview, she says there’s probably so much going through LeeAnn’s mind. The same stuff was going through hers when she decided to start drinking, but LuAnn has to make that decision for herself. Ramona says she’s proud of LuAnn.

Dog groomers Ed and Michael arrive to groom Sonja’s Marley. In LuAnn’s interview, she says Michael is a hot guy. She’d like to be groomed. Sonja says, it’s a full-service house, with tennis and dog grooming, and delivers Marley to them. Michael bathes Marley in the sink, and LuAnn asks if he needs help. She tells him that she has a Westie. Ramona comes in, and in her interview, she says, if there’s a man in the house, LuAnn is on it. People think she’s the biggest flirt, but LuAnn is. Marley also gets a massage, and Michael massages LuAnn’s neck. She says he has great hands, and asks if he makes house calls. Sonja dances in front of the dog hair dryer.

They get ready for dinner, having decided to stay in. Dorinda says she doesn’t do well at big parties, and she’s bored with herself. Tinsley says she’s a stage mom with her dogs. Leah asks if Ramona needs help, but Ramona says, no, and Dorinda says Ramona would just yell at her anyway. Leah says she’s glad they’re staying in. She doesn’t have to worry about any weird white guys showing up. Weird white guy Jeff arrives. Ramona says he’s a friend, makes great lasagna, and is a great pianist. Leah says, it’s a p*ssy party, and wonders why there’s one penis in the room. In Ramona’s interview, she says everyone is going to her friend’s party, but the girls didn’t want to go. She tells Sonja that she called different guys, and he’s the only one who showed up. Leah drinks out of a glass that she thought was cranberry juice, and Tinsley tells her there’s vodka in there. In Tinsley’s interview, she thinks as long as she’s around, Leah won’t go off the deep end… hopefully… maybe… They play beer pong with plastic champagne glasses. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, they’re more like frat guys getting wasted. There are times she misses drinking, but tonight isn’t one of them. She can’t help but watch, and think, is this how she was when she was drunk? Elyse joins them, and Sonja attacks Tinsley with a vibrator. Jeff wisely decides to make an exit. Sonja says, this is the best party ever.

Dorinda says Ramona hurt her feelings, saying she’d be done with John in two years. We see a clip of Ramona saying just that to a guy at the party the night before. LuAnn says, Ramona is so insensitive. Outside, Tinsley says she’s getting naked, and Leah says she’s going stir crazy. There’s only so much talk about yachts and declassé she can take. Leah and Tinsley get in the pool, Tinsley in her underwear, and Leah without anything. Leah tries to put out a torch by flinging Dom Perignon at it. Inside, Dorinda says, it’s not always great with John, but he’s different choice for her. She accepted John into her life as a friend, and he’s family to her now. She’s about the foundation of the house. Ramona says, what if John is getting girl’s phone numbers? Would Dorinda be upset?  Dorinda asks why she’s saying that. It’s an a-hole thing to say. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, one thing she knows for sure, John never flirted with Ramona. LuAnn asks why Ramona is rolling her eyes, and Ramona says one of the girls told her John was getting numbers. In Ramona’s interview, she says Dorinda became a different person after John, and she’s not totally happy. Ramona thinks Dorinda realizes it down deep. Elyse says Ramona is mean, and in LuAnn’s interview, she says, Ramona has no bedside manner. She’s the Dr. Kevorkian of delivering messages. Sonja goes outside, and Leah says, take it off – now. Leah flings a torch across the lawn, and Sonja flings another one. Leah chases her around the pool, and says she hates the torches. Sonja gets nakey, and gets in the pool with a bottle of champagne. She says she feels young and fun. Leah says Dorinda is judging them, but Sonja says, Dorinda’s not judgy.

Dorinda tells Ramona, don’t say anything mean again. In Ramona’s interview, she says, no one could get that John wasn’t like Richard. He’s not as well-spoken, intelligent, or dignified. We flash back to John asking Ramona to leave one of Dorinda’s parties, with Ramona looking pretty undignified herself. Ramona says, people wonder what Dorinda is doing with him. Tinsley takes her top off, and Leah tells LuAnn to get in the pool. LuAnn says, let her think about it, and goes back inside. Which means she didn’t even have to think about it. It’s just no.

LuAnn tells the others, the girls are in the pool naked. Leah, Tinsley, and Sonja come back inside. In LuAnn’s interview, she says she can’t believe Tinsley. She won’t even wear a bathing suit without a wrap. What would Dale think? Leah comes in wearing a sheer top with no bra, and Dorinda tells her to cover up. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, it’s too much. For the first time in a long time, she’s speechless. She steers Leah into one of the bedrooms. We hear her comment that Leah’s lady parts have wings, and Leah comes back out, wearing a leopard bustier under her blouse. Tinsley slurps spaghetti. Ramona says she’s leaving for the party, and LuAnn can’t believe it. In Ramona’s interview, she says all of them were invited. They’re going to drink themselves to sleep, and she’s not staying home. She tells Sonja that she’s seeing her superficial friends. In Sonja’s interview, she says, this is a new low. In LuAnn’s interview, she says, you shouldn’t leave your guests. Ramona gets the worst hostess award. Elyse says, Ramona has to go. The cost might be that she doesn’t meet a man. Sonja gets loud and animated, bringing up Elyse saying she was just an accessory when she was married. Leah says, that ship sailed, but Sonja says she wants to talk about what Elyse said. Leah yells, 1985 is over! In her interview, Sonja wonders when the party became occupy the Hamptons, She says Leah has a chip on her shoulder, and Sonja says Dorinda didn’t want her to put the family logo on her shoes. We flash back to Dorinda saying she thought it was mortifying. Sonja says she’s in the Blue Book. I fail to see how this is some kind of great achievement, but then again, I’m not in the Blue Book. Sonja and Leah scream at each other for a minute. In Tinsley’s interview, she says, maybe this is why Leah stopped drinking. Leah tells Tinsley not to get socialite on her, and Sonja calls Leah a hater. Leah says she’s not. She just wants Sonja to let it go. Sonja goes in the bathroom, saying, Leah never lived it. Leah follows her, and Sonja gets in Leah’s face, saying, Tinsley built a brand based on marrying a Mortimer. They end up hugging it out, although I’ll be damned if I know how they got there. Elyse says, if they all went into group therapy, the therapist would end up in an asylum.   

The next morning, it’s a mess outside – tikis everywhere, broken glass, a champagne bottle floating in the pool. Dorinda demands that Sonja do some facial masks with her. In Sonja’s interview, she says she feels hurt about Leah’s assumptions. She tells Dorinda, Ramona is going to go apesh*t. Leah is downstairs when Ramona sees the mess. The kitchen is also a nightmare, food everywhere, a pair of glasses in a wineglass, and a vibrator in a plate of chicken. I don’t even want to think about it. I also have to say it. I have gotten my drink on in my day, but I have never trashed a place. Not once. And I’ve been to some wild parties and seedy bars. Ramona says she has to laugh or she’ll cry. She’s actually taking it better than I would. Leah says she doesn’t want to look outside, so Ramona goes outside. She says, not cool. In her interview, she says, talk about no respect. She yells for Dorinda and Sonja to get their asses down there. In her interview, Leah says, her memory is a little cloudy… Oh yeah, the tiki torches. She remembers getting mad at them.

Sonja brushes Marley’s hair, and Dorinda says, that’s her brush. Sonja says, sorry; she’s used to doing that. Ramona stomps upstairs, and they hide under the blanket. Ramona says she feels like getting the strap out like her father did. She asks what went on outside? and Dorinda says Ramona left her own party. Ramona says she’s on a mission to find a partner, and she got a date. Sonja says, there’s something new, and outs Leah for throwing a tiki torch, but admits she threw one too. Dorinda says she wasn’t a part of it. Ramona goes back down to the kitchen, which Leah has somehow miraculously cleaned up in a New York minute. Ramona says she was informed that Leah started the tiki fight. In Leah’s interview, she says sometimes she’s extra, and sometimes she drinks extra. She didn’t hurt anyone. Ramona asks her to at least pick up the torches. In her interview, Ramona says, Leah is no dumb cookie. She’d said she hadn’t done it, but cleaned up the kitchen so fast, Ramona can hardly be angry at her.

Ramona tells Dorinda, she’s never woken up to a kitchen looking like that, but Dorinda says she can’t expect her guests to clean at night. She hires help when she has guests, and Ramona should have stayed there. She could have initiated them all cleaning up together. Leah is surprised that Ramona left, having not noticed the night before. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she knows what it’s like. Ramona has cajones. She tells Ramona, karma’s a bitch, and tells Leah about Ramona ripping the lights off the bedroom walls in Dorinda’s house in the Berkshires. We flash back to that, and Dorinda saying she was horrified. Ramona says she was fine until she went outside. Leah says, it’s not that bad; she thinks the kitchen was worse.

Ramona and Dorinda go outside, and Dorinda agrees, saying, it’s ridiculous. It’s like a frat house. Leah says she takes responsibility for the torches. She felt like she was in Game of Thrones. Dorinda says she thought she was at the Playboy mansion. Dorinda wonders where Tinsley is, and we see her tucked into bed, the plate of leftover spaghetti next to her.

Next time, Sonja has a show at New York Fashion Week, Tinsley talks about her mother, and Leah thinks Sonja is full of sh*t and passive/aggressive.

👩🏼‍🍳 On Top Chef, in the Quickfire challenge, the chefs had to make a dish using flour, but not all purpose flour. This time, there would be no immunity, but to soften the blow, the winner would receive $5000. The guest judge was award winning chef and restaurateur Chris Bianco. I was shocked at flours I’d never heard of. Tapioca flour? Garbanzo bean flour? What? Bryan full of Malarkey went for a second try with ice cream, even though his first one was a disaster. The ice cream came out fine, but the donut that was supposed to go with it, never made it to the plate at all. Gregory was the winner, with some tapioca flour pancakes topped with maple syrup, although whatever he called them sounded fancier than that.

For the elimination challenge, in celebration of the 100^th season of the L.A. Philharmonic, the chefs would be feeding Gustavo Dudamel, the L.A. Philharmonic’s conductor, and 60 members of his orchestra at Otium restaurant. The guest judge would be Timothy Collingwood, owner of Otium. The chefs chose knives from the five flavor profiles – salty, sweet, sour, bitter, and umami (savory). The chefs paired up, and their two flavor profiles had to make a cohesive dish together. It was going to be a double-elimination. For inspiration, the chefs went to the Walt Disney Concert Hall, where conductor Gustavo, who started his career when he was eleven (!), talked to them about how food was like art, and he liked the similarities between food and music.

It was back to work, and Lee Anne, who had the misfortune of being paired with full of Malarkey, said shopping with him was like shopping with monkeys on crack.

The judges were looking for the team who was true to the challenge, the flavor profile, and themselves. Melissa and Kevin were the winners with a salty and sweet cabbage thing. When it was time to decide who was going, and the judges talked among themselves, Padma looked as stern as I’ve ever seen her. Gail said two chefs would be going home for fantastic food, and it felt wrong. They’re now at that point, as happens in every competition, where everyone is good, and they have to get picky. Nini and Karen had to pack their knives and go for their umami and sour fish offering. In her interview, Karen said there wasn’t just a personal sadness, but a double layer of guilt. Nini said her curse was to be in a double elimination. Tom told them not to go just yet, as they were going right into Last Chance Kitchen. Thanks for the warning.

Next time, not only will the chefs be using a machete, Machete will be there when Danny Trejo (one of my favorites) is a guest.

🥜 Sometimes You Feel Like a Weekend…

We’ve gotten to that time in the week that feels weird for some of you right now. Tomorrow’s Friday, but it doesn’t have that buoyant feel it did not that long ago. That’s right, it wasn’t that long ago, it won’t be long now, and you’re still here. Relax. Stay safe, stay watching TV that’s not all news, and stay in your lane. Or not.