What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Laura walks into the abandoned house, and Curtis asks what she’s doing there. She says, probably the same thing they are. Chasing down a lead on Cyrus. She says, Jordan is on a medical leave of absence, and she thought Jordan was receiving treatment. What is she doing sneaking around an empty house on the other side of the country?  

Sonny tells Jason, whoever wanted Julian to shut up is successful. For now. He wants to know what Julian knows about his family, and why he was on the docks. Jason says, Cyrus seems to be honoring the truce, and hasn’t brought any product through Port Charles. Sonny says, until Julian squeals that Taggert is alive, but Jason says, he won’t. Sonny hopes Julian is more scared of him than he is of Cyrus. Jason says, Franco asked to meet with him, and Sonny asks what that psycho wanted. Jason says Franco asked him to kill him.   

Scotty goes to Franco’s house, and asks, what’s going on in that head of his?

Gregory walks into Finn’s room, and says, hello Harry. Hamilton. (The only reason I even included that was because we never hear Chase and Finn’s first names. I forget they even have first names ) He says he can’t tell them how wonderful it is to see both of his boys together. Finn says he didn’t have to come all this way, and Gregory says, Jackie told him that Finn was shot in the chest. Forgive him if he was concerned. Finn says he’s going to make a full recovery, and Gregory says, that’s a great relief. He knows he could have called, but he wanted to see Finn with his own eyes. Finn says, mission accomplished. He can leave now. Gregory says, if that’s what Finn really wants.

Dante looks at a photo of Peter and family, and says, complete the mission. He sits in front of Peter’s computer, and brings up a page that says off-shore deposits.

Lulu tells Maxie, the only thing lingering between her and Dante is Rocco. Maxie asks if Lulu is sure she doesn’t want more, and Lulu says she’s with Dustin now and she’s happy. Maxie says, right, and Lulu says Maxie is doing that thing she does where she barely says anything, and it sounds more like Lulu is trying to convince herself. Maxie says, of what? That Dante doesn’t love her anymore, or that she doesn’t still love Dante?   

Peter tells Anna, the longer Alex had Maxie, the more dark impulses pounded in his head. If Anna hadn’t been there to rescue Maxie, he doesn’t know what he would have been capable of. Anna says it’s natural to be protective about the people they love, but Peter says he kept thinking about what Alex told him. The rules don’t apply to them – him and Alex. They’re extraordinary people, and should act as they see fit. They’re above consequences and accountability. Anna says that sounds like her sister, and Peter says he was ashamed to tell her how much sense it made to him at the time. Valentin watches them.

Valentin joins Anna and Peter, and says, Finn is going to be okay. That’s good news. Anna asks how Valentin is, and he says he’s had no effects from the drug. Anna says, on top of everything else, Alex drugged them, and Valentin says Alex is a multitasker. He asks how Anna’s head is, and she says, okay. It’s not the first time she’s been pistol-whipped. Peter says they talk like this happens every day. His phone rings, and he says, it’s the paper, stepping away to take the call. Valentin thanks Ann for saving his life, and she says, it seemed like the decent thing to do. He says, it’s just them now. Is she all right? She says she killed her sister, and Valentin says, she knows she had to. She says, knowing is one thing, living with it is something else. Peter returns, and says he’s needed back at work. He already let Maxie know. He thanks Anna for saving Maxie and the baby, and she says it’s the least she could do for her goddaughter and grandchild. Peter leaves, and Valentin says, her grandchild. He assumes she’s not telling Peter that Alex is his mother.

Lulu tells Maxie, Dante stepped in twice now. Chivalry is good – sometimes.

Dante puts in a flashdrive in Peter’s computer. He hears something, but continues copying the files.  

Gregory says, very well, he’ll be going, but Finn tells him to stay. Gregory supposes that’s what passes for enthusiasm. If it’s not too banal of a question, how is Finn feeling? Finn says, he could be worse, and Gregory asks if he needs anything, but Finn says he doesn’t. Finn hopes the traveling wasn’t too difficult, and Gregory says, he’s not an invalid. Finn says that’s not what he meant, and Gregory says, the Lyme disease is more manageable now, thanks to Finn. Finn says he’s glad Gregory is feeling better, and Gregory says he should probably leave. His presence can’t be doing much for Finn’s stress level. He knows it’s not doing much for his. Before he goes, he wants to say how grateful he is for this moment. Seeing Finn alive, and knowing that, for now at least, he’s going be fine. When Jackie told him that Finn was shot… Finn says Gregory didn’t have to worry, but Gregory says, of course (🍷) he did. He’s Finn’s father. Finn may not like that, but nothing changes the fact that Finn is his son. Ergo, Gregory will always worry about him.

Scotty says, Franco was in the hospital and didn’t call. Franco asks if he was supposed to call and say nothing is wrong; stay put? Scotty says, it would have been something, and Franco says he’s sorry Scotty worried. Scotty says, he’s Franco’s father. Of course (🍷) he’s worried. Franco says, there would have been nothing Scotty could have done if he wasn’t fine, and Scotty asks if Franco would have told him. Franco says, absolutely. In fact, there is something Scotty might be able to help him with.

Jordan turns away, but Laura says Jordan needs to give her an explanation as to why she’s there. Curtis asks if anyone knows Laura is there. If she was followed, that could be bad. Laura says she knows how to lose a tail, and Curtis asks if the fundraising trip to DC was real. Laura says, it was, until she realized it was the perfect cover for her to dig deep into Cyrus’s life. Curtis says he’s glad she’s not a P.I., since she would be stiff competition. He asks about her leads, and she says, she’s been scrutinizing Cyrus’s holdings in her spare time, like they’ve been. A private residence in a quiet suburb stood out. Curtis says, to them too. He found the address in the spring, and checked it out, but it was heavily guarded. Laura says, not now. Whoever was living there is gone, giving her ample time to come up with an explanation for Cyrus. She asks again about Jordan’s medical absence, and Jordan says, it was a cover. The only threat to her life right now is Cyrus.

Sonny says, Franco put a hit out on himself? He tells Jason to make sure to get the cash up front. Jason says Franco told him that his brain tumor is back, and Sonny says, the tumor Franco claimed turned him psycho. Jason says, he says it’s in the same place, and doesn’t want to hurt anyone, especially Elizabeth and the boys. He asked Jason to take him out if he starts acting like his old self. Sonny asks if Jason thinks Franco is playing games, and Jason says he’s having Spinelli look into Franco’s medical records to see if the tumor is back. Then they’ll figure out what to do next. The guard tells Sonny that he has a visitor, and Taggert walks in. He wants to know what Sonny is doing with Julian.

Franco gives Scotty some papers, and Scotty says, it’s a life insurance policy. He knows Franco is in financial trouble, but now he’s peddling death? Franco says he’s not trying to sell Scotty a policy. He took it out after he and Elizabeth got married, and he wants Scotty to look over the terms. Scotty says. it’s clear and straightforward. Elizabeth and he boys will be taken care of. Franco says he knows that insurance companies resist a big payout, and wonders if there’s anything in the fine print that says if he dies a certain way, it will somehow nullify the policy. Scotty calls Franco a big dummy, and asks if he thinks it will fix his financial problems if he commits suicide. 

Jordan tells Laura that Cyrus was the one who kidnapped TJ, and almost beat TJ to death. Laura asks why Jordan didn’t come to her, but Jordan says she didn’t want to get Laura involved. Sometimes deniability is the best weapon. Laura says Jordan doesn’t need to protect her, but Jordan says, it’s literally part of her job. Is Laura firing her? Laura says, not yet, but the day is young. Curtis says they were also protecting Port Charles. The city needs Laura as mayor, since she has the guts to stand up to Cyrus. Laura says she’s in it now, so she needs to understand how far they’ve gone. She needs them to tell her everything she needs to know.

Taggert says the Jerome family was before his time, but Julian is bad news. Jason says they can protect Taggert as long as he’s hiding, and Sonny says, that’s why he needs to hide. There’s a knock at the door, and the guard says Sonny has another visitor. Sonny asks who it is, and the guard says, Cyrus. Sonny tells Taggert to stay there, and goes out with Jason. He asks what Cyrus is doing there, and Cyrus says giving Sonny a chance to explain himself before he declares war.

Jordan tells Laura, she was compromised months before Cyrus got out of prison. She was forced to come forward with the evidence that helped him vacate. Laura asks if the evidence was fabricated in order for Cyrus to get out, or fabricated to put him in, and Jordan says Taggert, Mark, and Bob weren’t the only ones involved in fabricating evidence to put Cyrus away. She was in on it too. Laura says, so Jordan has been working for Cyrus all this time, and Jordan says, yeah. Curtis says, but they’ve also been working to put Cyrus away. The only way to keep Cyrus out of Port Charles for good is to put him behind bars, or in the ground. Laura asks what else they haven’t told her.   

Chase wonders if he just saw a smile, and Finn insists he wasn’t smiling. He was remembering something – ergo. He laughs, and tells Gregory, it’s such a you thing to say. Elizabeth apologizes for interrupting, but she has to check Finn’s vitals. Chase suggests they step for a second, and let her do that. Finn nods, and Chase says, they’ll be back. They leave, and Elizabeth says, family, huh? Finn asks if she still has that bullet. 

In the hallway, Gregory says he’s proud of Chase, staying by his brother. Chase says Finn would do the same for him, and asks if Gregory is ever going to tell Finn that he and Jackie are getting a divorce. Gregory says, no; it’s just a separation. No one is talking divorce. Chase isn’t sure Gregory is on the same page with Jackie, but Gregory says, he and Chase’s mother are going through a rough patch. They’re get through it as soon as Jackie is back from her latest breaking story.

Anna tells Valentin, Alex has already done enough damage. She’s going to protect Peter the way she should have. He says she didn’t even know she was Peter’s mother until she realized she had Alex’s memories. She says if he knows why Alex picked that one, and he says, to torment her, but Anna says, so she could save her son. He asks if this is a realization because she’s had a sudden wave of sentimentality, but she says Alex told her herself. Alex believed if Anna thought she had Peter and abandoned him, she’d seek him out, but she didn’t do that. In some ways she’s no better than Alex. He says they both know that’s not the case, and Anna says, what’s done is done. She can’t undo the past; no one can. But she can see to it that Peter has a better future, with Maxie at his side, raising their children and living his life. He’s a good man, and as far as the world is concerned, she’s Peter’s mother. Just the two of them and Finn will know the truth. Valentin tells her, absolutely do not tell Finn.   

Franco tells Scotty that he wouldn’t do that; certainly not to Elizabeth. Everyone knows insurance companies don’t pay out for a suicide. Scotty says, that’s logical, and Franco says, hypothetically, if he died and it wasn’t an accident… Scotty says, natural causes? but Franco says, a violent non-accident. Scotty asks if someone is threatening Franco, and Franco asks why Scotty is making a big deal out of it. Scotty says Franco talking about a violent death is going to raise flags, but Franco says he was just casually going over some of his papers. He didn’t call Scotty about it, but thought since he was there, he could take a look. It’s important. Is Scotty going to help him or not?

Jordan tells Laura, she hates that Cyrus got out of prison, but he would have killed TJ. She knew he wasn’t bluffing. Laura doesn’t think so either, and Curtis says, TJ isn’t the only life Cyrus is targeting. He’s leveled threats at Trina. Laura says, Taggert is dead, but Jordan says Taggert’s family is important to her, so it’s leverage. Laura asks if Portia knows what’s going on, and Jordan says she does. Curtis says, Portia helped them with the medical crisis. Jordan says, Portia figured it out and was threatening to expose her. She had to tell Portia, and Portia planned out her seeing a specialist. Laura believes Jordan is doing what’s right, but this is far beyond what the law sanctions. Jordan says, as a mother, she had to hope Laura understood, and Laura says she does understand.  

Cyrus asks how he can interpret Sonny’s action other than aggression. Sonny asks, what action? and Cyrus says, the hatchet job Lulu did on him in The Invader. She cited a source that was clearly someone in Sonny’s organization, saying he’s firing any staff connected to Sonny. Sonny is breaking the truce. Jason says, the staff firings are a matter of public record, and Sonny asks why Cyrus is upset? Is something going on at GH he doesn’t want public? Cyrus suggests they go into Sonny’s office, sit down, and discuss it like gentlemen.

Gregory goes back in Finn’s room, and Finn asks, where’s Chase? Gregory says Chase got a call from the station. He understands he has a granddaughter – Violet. Finn says he does, and Gregory asks, how is she? Finn smiles, and says she’s the greatest thing that ever happened to him. He can’t remember life without her, and wouldn’t want to. Gregory says, kids change everything, and Finn says, yeah.

Dante continues to copy Peter’s files. Apparently, Peter’s computer is even slower than mine. Peter walks in, and asks what Dante is doing there. Dante says, following orders, and puts his hand on his gun.

Peter asks, orders from who? and Dante says, from him. He’s head of security. Doesn’t Peter remembering offering him the job? He got a notice that there was an unauthorized user on Peter’s computer, trying to gain file access. Peter asks if that isn’t a matter for cyber security, but Dante says he thought he’d come in and make sure no one physically tampered with the computer. Peter asks if his files were touched, and Dante says, no. Peter says he has to make a last minute addition to the front page, and asks if it’s safe for him to use the computer. Dante says he’s all set, and Peter thanks him. Dante says he was just doing his job, and leaves. Peter sits down.

Sonny tells Cyrus, he’s on his way out. Say what he’s got to say now, or don’t say it at all. Cyrus says, Monica and Bobbie were fired for just cause. Jason says, because of a lawsuit that’s been dropped because Nelle is dead. Why not give them back their jobs? Cyrus says, it’s a matter of public record. If he hires them back, it’s a liability. As for Elizabeth and Epiphany, he’ll look into it, but the hospital… Sonny says, is a legitimate business. Cyrus says he’s glad they cleared that up. As for conceding, he hasn’t made up his mind. Sonny says he’ll make it up for him. There’s been no hostility on their end, but if Cyrus retaliates, he’ll take it as a hostile act. Cyrus says he wouldn’t dream of upsetting their delicate balance. He leaves, and Sonny says, that was interesting.

Laura says she can’t judge Jordan for protecting her child. To be honest, she would have done the same thing. Jordan thanks her, but Laura says, don’t thank her just yet. At some point, she’ll have to review all of this. As far as Jordan’s future with the PCPD, it depends on a lot of factors. Jordan has neutralized herself, so Cyrus can’t get to her to do any harm. While it was a good thing, putting Cyrus behind bars, as mayor she has to condemn creating false evidence. Personally, no one knows better than she does how you have to bend the rules sometimes to get justice. Laura asks if they found anything, but Curtis says, not as much as they’d hoped. There were signs that a patient was kept there; he found medical supplies and vials upstairs. Jordan says they weren’t not sure if it was someone kept of their free will or it was a prisoner. Laura says she assumes the latter, and Curtis says, they thought so too. Until he found something else.

Franco thanks Scotty for caring, and Scotty says, if anything happens to Franco… Don’t do anything stupid. He leaves, and Elizabeth comes out of the kitchen. She asks what’s up with Franco’s dad, and Franco says he felt left out. How was her day? She says all she could think about was this moment, when they could talk face to face. He says, about what? and she says, what’s going on with him?

Anna sees Gregory in the hallway, and he says he was hoping to see her. She says it’s wonderful to see him, and asks how it went. He says he and Finn managed to find common ground in Violet. Anna says she’s going in, and Gregory says, Finn just dozed off. She says she’s glad he’s there, and goes into Finn’s room. She sits by the bed, and he says, hi. She tells him, go back to sleep, but he says he’d probably dream about her. Why not stay awake, and actually see her? She says, good line, and he says he’s still got it. She agrees he does, and says she saw his father is there. So they had a nice chat? Finn says they talked about him meeting Violet someday, and Anna says she really wants Violet to have a sense of a larger family. He says, speaking of which, he saw she got the test results. Is Peter her son or Alex’s?

Anna tells Finn, the test revealed Faison carried the gene, so there’s no real way of finding out if Peter is her son or Alex’s with Faison. He asks what she told Peter, and she says, nothing. Faison is dead, and now Alex is dead, so there’s no real reason to burden Peter with uncertainty. She loves him like a son, and he deserves to live his life without being worried that with every decision, he’s taking after two psychopaths. He says he’s sorry she didn’t get a definitive answer, and she says it’s something she’ll have to learn live with.

Laura reads, I promise a plan is in play. It won’t be much longer. Hang in there, and remember I love you. Cyrus. She says she couldn’t find any personal connections to Cyrus, and Curtis tells her not to beat herself up about it. They hit the same wall, except for this. Jordan says, whoever was staying there, is Cyrus’s Achille’s heel. Laura says, but they don’t know who it is. The language is affectionate, but it could be his mother or another family member. Not necessarily romantic. Curtis says they were hoping it was a confidant. Someone who knows where the bodies are buried – literally and figuratively. Laura says, it’s worth a shot, and Jordan says Cyrus has been digging for information on a PCPD case that’s 40 years old, but it’s so heavily redacted, they can’t make anything out of it. She shows Laura the folder, and asks if it means anything to her.

Sonny says, it seems Cyrus still thinks Taggert is dead. Go home and stay there. Taggert says, that was too close, and Jason says he’ll get someone to drive Taggert. Taggert asks what Sonny is doing about Julian, and Sonny says, don’t worry. He’s watching Julian.

Lulu tells Maxie, she’ll always love Dante, but she loves Dustin. What she and Dante had together is over. Maxie asks if Lulu believes she can’t get it back, but Lulu asks, how? Dante turned his back on his family. Maxie says, it’s not that simple. Dante has PTSD, and was afraid he’d hurt someone, especially Lulu or the kids. Lulu says, it’s not that. It’s how he left. He cut them off completely cold. If he did it once, he could do it again.

Dante calls Dr. Kirk, and says he found it. What next?

Valentin goes to Peter’s office, and Peter says he knows they said they’d catch up soon, but he didn’t think Valentin meant immediately. Valentin says he’s just there to make sure everything is all right. Peter says Maxie and the baby are fine, so he’s fine. Valentin says, it must have been terrifying, and Peter says he felt a lot of things. What about Valentin? Valentin says it was quite an ordeal, but he made through thanks to Anna. Peter says his mother is something else, and Valentin says, she is indeed. Peter says she saved Valentin and Maxie, and his dearly departed aunt can’t hurt them again. Valentin agrees she can’t.

Anna tells Finn, despite their history and her feelings about Alex, it’s how it ended. She can’t settle on one emotion. It’s all right though. She has more important things to be concerned about. Finn says, she survived her sister. She can think about moving on now. Gregory pops in, and says he’s sorry to interrupt, and Anna says his timing is impeccable. Gregory says he wanted to let them know that he’d be staying at the MetroCourt. Finn says he’ll like it there. Jackie was staying there before she went running off after a story. Gregory says he’ll see them tomorrow. He leaves, and Anna says she’s glad Gregory decided to stay. Other than talking about Violet, how was it with his dad? He says, awful, and she laughs. He says, it was actually better than expected. What’s between them will always be there, and he doesn’t think it will ever go away.

Franco tells Elizabeth, when he collapsed, it wasn’t dehydration. His brain tumor is back.

Laura hands back the folder, saying, sorry. It doesn’t ring a bell. Curtis says, damn, and Jordan says, they knew it was a long shot. Laura says now that she knows they’re on the case, she’s going to head back. She’s been away too long. Jordan says, the city missed her, and Laura says, and she missed it. From now on, they’re working together. Curtis says they’ll keep her in the loop, and she’ll do the same. Laura says, absolutely, and Jordan says they’ll work until they uncover what Cyrus is hiding. Laura says she’ll see them at home, and leaves.

Outside, Laura leans against the wall for a moment. She takes out her phone, and makes a call. She says, it’s me. We’re in trouble.

Tomorrow, Franco tells Elizabeth, there are fates worse than death; Willow tells Michael, they can’t trust strangers with this task; and Cyrus tells Brando, they’ll have to rectify the situation.  

The Real Housewives of Orange Country

Emily called Gina, and told her Braunwyn admitted she’d been taking things out on Gina, and owed her an apology. Gina said Sean cleaning up Braunwyn’s messes made it harder to deal with. Gina had her own stuff going on, and someone picking on her was not okay. Emily said she thought it was nothing personal. Braunwyn said she hadn’t liked Emily away last year because Emily called her out on her drinking. She thought Braunwyn had a hard time having relationships with people who disagreed with her, but felt Braunwyn was heartfelt and sincere in wanting to apologize. Ugh. I just don’t like Gina. I think she’s a follower and a poser. I’m always open to changing my mind, but something about her rubs me the wrong way. Like a cat getting petted backward.

Braunwyn’s son Jacob asked for a pair of heels for Christmas. God bless him, or any man who wants to wear heels. Or any woman for that matter. My feet protest just thinking about them. Braunwyn said, since Jacob was a baby, he loved fashion. She asked if it was for the pageantry or identity, but he didn’t know. She told us, what he did know was that he had a family that loved him no matter who he is. Jacob modeled some beautiful gowns, and in Braunwyn’s interview, she said Jacob told her that he wanted to do drag because it’s like therapy. It unlocks another part of himself, and she thought it made him stronger and more aware of who he was. He’d felt suppressed, and drag helped him get out of it. Braunwyn said we all need people who honestly love us, and thought the support Jacob got helped. He inspired her by taking the honest and true route, and she wanted to follow him. Her son was a role model to her.

Gina went see her lawyer Mike, who thought she could get her driver’s license back in another three months. In her interview, she said she’d done community service and was required to go to AA meetings. We flashed back to the last reunion, and Andy saying that Matt had been arrested for domestic violence. Mike told Gina that the court wants to know how the victim feels, and asked if she was making a victim impact statement. She said she and Matt were co-parenting well, and it was still hard to stand up to him. In her interview, she said she still struggled with what happened, and has bad dreams. She knew making a statement would be good and healthy for her, but didn’t know if she could. Mike said she would come out the other end as a survivor instead of a victim.

Shannon’s daughter Sophie was leaving for Baylor college soon, and Shannon thought it would be good for Sophie to be out there and taking care of herself. Sophie said she was meeting with publishing companies about her book. Shannon was afraid her daughters would hate her as they got older, since her parents fighting had affected her. Daughter Stella had told her that one day be they’d be older and realize what she did. In Shannon’s interview, she said the saving grace was her girls seeing what a happy relationship looked like. In Sophie’s interview, she said it didn’t matter to her who Shannon dated, but she needed support both emotionally and financially. Sometimes she thought John couldn’t do both, but it wasn’t her business.

Braunwyn went dress shopping with Kelly for Kelly’s wedding dress, and her vow renewal dress. She told Kelly that she’d dreamt Kelly was pregnant, and in Kelly’s interview, she said, no, no, no. Braunwyn told the clerk that she was going to be renewing her vows, and wanted to have a moment. Kelly said it was her third wedding, and she didn’t. In her interview, Braunwyn said she and Sean had done a ten year vow renewal after they’d gone through a hard time. This one was important, since they were starting a new chapter, and there was nowhere she’d rather be. Braunwyn liked all the dresses, but Kelly, not so much. In Kelly’s interview, she said she felt embarrassed, being married three times. She thought the third time was the charm. She hoped so anyway. In Braunwyn’s interview, she said, as a mother, it freaks her out that people will hate Jacob without knowing him, but if you stand in your truth, you can’t go wrong.

In Elizabeth’s interview, she said her nieces and nephews fulfill her maternal instinct. She set up a million dollar trust for each of them, but they didn’t know it. She didn’t want them to murder her. She told us that her sister Anna started takin heroin at age 14. Their father died of alcoholism, and seeing Anna’s daughter going through what she went through hurt her heart. No amount of money would help her sister. She was where she wanted to be, and had every opportunity. Elizabeth was saving all her clothes, in the hopes they’d play dress up again one day.

Shannon and Gina went to Elizabeth’s house for lunch. Elizabeth and Shannon talked beach houses and Ferraris, and in her interview, Gina said this was the good Orange County stuff. Who has the cooler Ferrari? She felt a competition for richest bitch in Newport coming on. In Shannon’s interview, she said it wasn’t the kind of luncheon she’d throw, but gave Elizabeth an A for effort. Shannon tends to tip the scales toward dislike with me too. I’m hoping now that she’s not in Tamra’s clutches, she might stop acting like she’s so far above everyone else. Shannon said she’d texted Braunwyn, and Elizabeth thought they should rally. Gina thought they should let Braunwyn flounder. In Elizabeth’s interview, she says she thought Gina should be more sensitive. Gina said she declined Braunwyn’s renewal invite, but Shannon said all of the kids were invited. She couldn’t tell them they can’t go because of a girl fight. Gina said she was trying her best to act like things were okay, but Matt was coming for Sienna’s birthday party, and she wasn’t good at dealing with things. Shannon told them about Sophie writing a book on living with divorcing parents, and Elizabeth said Sophie wanted to break the cycle. In Gina’s interview, she said she hoped her daughter was strong, and thinks she’s strong. Shannon said one day Gina would look back, and thank God it happened, because it’s what got her where she is.

We started hearing about the corona virus, and Kelly told Elizabeth she thought it was like a super flu. Elizabeth took Kelly and Shannon along when she bought herself a midlife crisis car. In her interview, she said cars turned her on. She thought maybe she was substituting speed for other things in her life that she was missing. Elizabeth told Shannon and Kelly that they should be cautious with drinking around Braunwyn, but Kelly said she wasn’t a quitter. In Elizabeth’s interview, she said she was disappointed with Kelly’s behavior. Braunwyn reminded her of her sister, and needs to feel like she belongs. Kelly rode along on Elizabeth’s test drive, and looked like she might have a heart attack a few times. Back at the lot, Shannon got in tiny Ferrari – I guess for kids – and drove around. In her interview, she said she didn’t need a big vagina car.

Braunwyn picked up Gina for the meeting, and Gina said she appreciated it. No one told her about Braunwyn’s drinking problem, and Braunwyn said she wasn’t ready to talk about it. Sean kept her image protected, and she’d thought she had enough sober years under her belt to handle it. Having a baby was the easy way out, and she had been talking to Sean about having another one. Gina said Braunwyn was doing the thing she knew to sober up.  

Lizzy – remember her? – came by Emily’s house. In her interview, Emily said Lizzy had a bathing suit company, and asked her to help design a suit for her body type. Lizzy told Emily that everyone loves her suits, except Tamra. Emily said she gets messages thanking her for not trying to be something she’s not. She’s unapologetically not size zero, and a twelve-year-old had told her that she was an inspiration.

Braunwyn and Gina went for coffee after the meeting. Braunwyn thanked Gina for the most awkward playdate ever. In Gina’s interview, she said, on their way in, a guy asked if one of them wanted to lead the meeting, so she nominated Braunwyn. Braunwyn made a speech about her anger toward Gina, and apologized. It meant a lot to her, and she gave Braunwyn credit for doing it. Braunwyn had been there for her at her low point, but she hadn’t realized Braunwyn was drinking. Gina suggested they start over. In her interview, Braunwyn said if women could get past the outside stuff, most of them would find out they have more things in common than not. 

Gina told boyfriend Travis that she thought it was going to be weird, having dinner with Matt and Britt for Sienna’s birthday. Travis told her, only if she made it weird. In Gina’s interview, she said she felt she had to make the victim impact statement, because it had been the most significant event in her life. She wanted to make life happy for her kids, but hoped Matt would hear it, and it would effect change. She didn’t want to be the person responsible for him going to jail, but thought it was beneficial for her kids to see her standing up for herself. She wasn’t the person who was going to save him anymore.

Next time, a workout, Braunwyn’s mom Deb says Braunwyn isn’t as fun anymore, Braunwyn is finding out who her friends are, Kelly wines about no tequila at the vow renewal, and the vow renewal.  

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City – The Premiere

First of all, who’s who:

https://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-salt-lake-city/about

This is mostly my first impression. I’m not going to memorize anyone’s name tonight, and half of them look the same. The show seemed to focus more on glitz and glamor than anything else.

The narration – by who, I don’t know – said there was an elite social circle in Salt Lake City. Mormons don’t drink, don’t swear, and treat their bodies like temples. Fidelity is expected in marriage, and they watch for sin. You think you know who they are, but you’re wrong. Friendships define us, and choices can destroy us. In the opening credits, the women hold snowflakes.

First, we met Jen. She seemed like the self-described leader of the group. Her husband is a football coach for the University of Utah, and they met in college. She was a Mormon, and her husband a Muslim, but when she realized she was part of a religion that didn’t accept many of the people she cared about, such as Black people (her husband is Black, as are her children) – she converted. Her personal and business assistant Stuart knows everything about her, even when she gets her period. He knows more than her husband knows.

Tall and blonde Heather told us, Mormon doctrine says perfection is attainable. So she owns Beauty Lab and Laser where she’s made a mint. Her ancestors were Mormon pioneers, and he husband’s family inherited Howard Hughes’s wealth, as he was enamored of the Mormons. Things went south when she and her husband divorced, since that’s not an option in the Mormon church. She said a lot of the things she does, aren’t in alliance with Mormon women.

Meredith is Jewish, and from Chicago. She has a high-end store with a celebrity following. Lisa is also Jewish by heritage, but Mormon by choice. She and her husband own a couple of liquor brands, and are working on their own vodka. She also owns a luxury marketing company. She could give a flying that Mormons aren’t supposed to drink alcohol.

Whitney is a small blonde, and is married to Justin, who’s 18 years her senior. They had an office romance that they kept hidden, since they were both married to other people. They finally married when Whitney was five months pregnant, and she and Justin ended up excommunicated. Whitney’s father had been the bodyguard for Joseph Smith and Brigham Young (the Mormon founders), so a lot of people were resentful. She was happy some of her family and friends were coming around after ten years.

Last, but for sure not least, we met Mary when she got together with Whitney for lunch. Whitney told us that Mary had no filter. Mary claimed that she bought what made her happy, not because of the brand, yet she seemed compelled to name every brand she was wearing as an automatic response. Like when someone said, I love that dress, she replied, Valentino – runway. She’d married her step-grandfather when her grandmother passed away, as her grandmother had suggested in her will. In Lisa’s interview, she summed it up with saying, sh*t is weird. I’m guessing they feel this is biblical. I had an old lady neighbor who had married her sister’s husband when the sister died because that was what was expected in their religion. Now I’m wondering if she was Mormon. Mary was also a Pentecostal minister – another thing she inherited from her grandmother – but didn’t like being called pastor because the title sounded old lady. Like marrying her step-grandfather didn’t.

Mary had been friends with Jen until they’d met at a restaurant, and Mary said Jen smelled like a hospital. Mary explained that a hospital smell was a trigger for her, and reminded her of a dark time in her life. In Jen’s interview, she was clueless about this, but said she’d been in the hospital with an aunt who’d needed both legs amputated. I would have liked to know why, but she didn’t say.  

Jen went to Heather to get Botox in her armpits, and they planned a party for Meredith’s birthday. Jen admitted she was throwing it for herself too, and wanted a club vibe. Lisa and Meredith hung out together, and in her interview, Lisa said that she’d met Meredith on a friendship board blind date when she first moved to Utah. While Whitney was out with Mary, she got an invite from Jen to Meredith’s birthday party. Mary didn’t think she’d be invited because of the hospital smell thing, and Whitney was like, oops. At the end of the invite, it said not to tell anyone. You’d think the invitation would have led with that. By the end of the lunch, Mary also got an invite. In Jen’s interview, she said she hadn’t wanted to invite Mary, but Mary was on Meredith’s guest list. Heather said she went to college with Lisa, but Jen said Lisa apparently didn’t remember her, which irritated Heather to no end. She told Jen that she felt dismissed by Lisa, and Jen called Lisa a Mormon 2.0. Heather said she was Mormon bullsh*t. Meredith’s son told his father that he didn’t know who Prince was, and I hoped to God he was kidding, since it didn’t look like he lived on the moon. Meredith’s husband had to work in Chicago, where his business was located, but arranged for the entire bedroom to be covered in rose petals on her birthday. And I mean covered. It was like wall-to-wall, and I actually thought it was a little gross. In Meredith’s interview, she said she would rather her husband be there in person.

I have to give Jen credit, she was pushing around a Swiffer before the party. In her interview, she said her parties were a grand transformation, and she had a red carpet situation set up. Meredith said she knew the party was for her birthday, but the reality was, it wasn’t a party for her. In her interview, she said she’d never make a grand entrance at a party she was throwing for someone else. Jen even had Tongan dancers put on a performance to celebrate her own heritage. It was kind of weird. Jen confronted Mary, saying she’d been offended by Mary saying she smelled like a hospital when her aunt was having her legs amputated. She expected an apology, but Mary just said the smell took her to a dark place, and couldn’t see what the big deal was. Jen went into another room, closed the door, and went apesh*t.

This season, Heather will cut a bitch; if follow you follow the commandments, you will be wealthy and blessed; Mary leads a church service; being good Mormon isn’t easy; there’s darkness under the crust of perfection; Meredith’s husband thinks she’d hiding something, and leaves; and a fight at a spa.  

🏃🏽‍♀️ Moving On…

Jumping over the hump and heading toward what the world once called a weekend, and now calls, when will the bar open to full capacity again? Even at a quarter capacity, stay safe, stay thanking our veterans, and stay not throwing a party for yourself when it’s someone else’s birthday.