What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina says she’s not that blond woman Sonny has been dreaming about, but he says she seems so familiar. She says, there are a lot of blond women in the world, and she’s known a few memorable ones. He tells her, if she says so, and she says, hey, Mike. Everything is going to be okay. He goes in the back, and she makes a call to Carly. Nina says she has something very important to tell Carly, and Carly says she’s sure Nina does. She knows exactly what it is.

On the phone, Trina asks if someone can make it happen… Tonight?

Portia tells Curtis, that was pretty impressive. Cameron came in there to hire someone to kill Jason, and Curtis convinced him to channel his anger and grief into his music. Curtis says, it wasn’t him. That was Trina. She says, Trina chimed in, after Curtis told Cameron to use his grief, and turn it into something positive. Trina joins them, and says, Cameron is on his way home with his mom. He feels a lot better than when he came in here. She thanks Curtis.

Jordan goes to see Taggert in his cell. She says she checked the visitor’s log earlier, and saw Laura was there. Taggert says they were discussing how much time he could get for falsifying proof that put Cyrus away. Five years, if he’s lucky. She says, about that. There’s been a development. He should consider a not guilty plea.

Brook walks quickly into the hospital, and Maxie is by the reception area with Britt. Maxie says, Brook is back. And she’s pregnant. Brook says she’s right. When did that happen? Isn’t she going to ask who the baby daddy is? Maxie says she didn’t want to pry, and Brook says, since when? Maxie says, fine. Who’s the guy? and Brook says, let’s just say both their babies have fathers everyone hates.

At the MetroCourt, Valentin asks if Charlotte wants dessert. She asks if she can have a Shirley Temple, and he says, double cherries. He might get one too. They have something to celebrate. She asks what it is, and he says he’ll tell her when he gets back. On his way to the bar, he runs into Anna, who says she hasn’t seen him since Maxie’s (non) wedding. He says he’s been busy. He’s going to be a father again.

Lucas goes to the room where the Lamaze class is going to be, and Felix says he’s in the wrong room… unless he switched teams and got busy. Lucas says he heard Felix was covering the class for Epiphany, and he wanted to hang out, and see Felix in action. Felix says, really? Is that really why he’s there?

Maxie says Brook is having a baby with Valentin? Didn’t he steal her shares of ELQ, and take over her family’s company? Brook says, things happen. She heard about Lulu. She’s really sorry. Lulu deserves to be with her kids, not in a long-term care facility. She’s sure Maxie misses Lulu a lot, and Maxie says she does. She’s naming the baby Louise, and going to call her Lu after Lulu. Brook says, Lulu would love that. It’s crazy how their lives have changed in a few months; Lulu is gone, Maxie and Peter… She read what he did, and it sounds like he has a long list of bad acts. Does Maxie think he’ll still be in the baby’s life? Maxie says she hasn’t figured out that part yet. How about Brook and Valentin? She doesn’t see them living happily ever after. Brook says he’ll have some role in the baby’s life, but she hasn’t figured it out yet. Britt says if Brook is staying in Port Charles, she should have her medical records transferred to GH. She can help facilitate that. Who’s Brook’s obstetrician in Brooklyn? Brook says, someone in King’s County Hospital, and Britt asks if it’s Lenore Thompson; they went to medical school together. Brook says she’s never heard of Lenore. Maxie says if Brook is staying in Port Charles, she’s going to need a doctor. How about Britt?  

Anna says she didn’t know Brook and Valentin were involved. Hasn’t Brook been away? He says, it was one night before Brook left. Now she’s back and carrying his child. Anna asks if she should give condolences or congratulations, and he says, congratulations, absolutely. She says, Brook is going to let him be part of the baby’s life, even though he took her family’s business away? and he says she seems to be willing to let him. He’s going to break the news to Charlotte over a few Shirley Temples. How about Anna? Is she okay?

Trina says Curtis gave Cameron good advice. She should have taken it herself, instead of ripping into Curtis when she thought her dad was dead. Curtis says, sometimes the best way to fight grief is with anger. You can focus on something in front of you. He didn’t mind being her target. Portia says Curtis was trying to save Trina’s life; so was her dad when he pretended to be dead. Can she see the bigger picture now? Everybody was just trying to save her from Cyrus.

Taggert tells Jordan that Portia was trying to get him to plead not guilty, but if he’s set free, Cyrus is going to be out for revenge. The first one is going to be Trina. He needs to do his time, and protect Trina. She says, the situation has changed. Cyrus doesn’t have the power he used to. Taggert asks, what happened? and she says, they have leverage. He says, what kind? and she says, Renault’s mother. He says, Cyrus has a mother? She says, he does, a gracious woman who doesn’t appreciate her son’s crimes. She’s being well cared for, but since she’s been out of Cyrus’s reach, he’s been near paralyzed. He asks how the hell she kidnapped Cyrus’s mother.

Carly says, Ava told her that Nina is going to sue for the right to see Wiley. She’s telling Nina right now, it’s a bad idea to play games with her grandson. Nina tries to interrupt, saying, that’s not what… but Carly says if Nina pushes hard, they’ll push harder. Diane will destroy her. She’ll drag Nina’s sad history into evidence. Remember when she kidnapped Ava when she was in labor with Avery, and then told everyone Avery was her daughter? The judge is going to love that. Nina says, please stop, but Carly tells Nina to stop, before it’s too late. Nina had her chance, and she blew it. She needs to back off and give everybody time, especially Wiley. If she pushes this, and takes legal action, Nina will lose, and never get near Wiley again. I tell Nina, Carly is such an a-hole.

Jordan tells Taggert, she didn’t kidnap Cyrus’s mother. He asks, who did? and she says, they both know there are people outside law enforcement who need to keep Cyrus in check. He says, especially now that Sonny has passed, and she says, Cyrus knows, if he hurts Taggert or Trina, he’ll never see his mother again. He says, Cyrus loves his mother that much? and she says, he does. So change his plea before sentencing. Fight the charges against him. He asks if she thinks he has a chance, and she says, talk to his lawyer. She thinks, considering the damage Cyrus has done – the overdoses, the drug deaths, the violence – a jury will understand why he felt compelled to lock Cyrus up. He says, he broke the law, and she says, he put a dangerous man in prison. If he gets a sympathetic jury, he could be exonerated, and he’ll have a chance to repair his relationship with Trina.

Trina says she does understand why her father let her believe he was dead, and she thinks she can forgive him now. Portia hugs her, and says she’s so proud of Trina. Trina says she thinks she liked it when Portia was less proud. She’s got to go. Portia says, she has the quiz to study for, and Trina says she’s got a lot to learn. She leaves, and Curtis says he thinks Portia’s daughter just had a major breakthrough. Why does Portia look like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders? She says, all this talk about Trina forgiving her father. His sentencing is tomorrow. She could lose him all over again.

Anna tells Valentin, seeing Charlotte reminds her of Violet’s birthday party, and he says, the infamous snake in Ava’s purse. She laughs, and says, sorry. It’s not so funny, is it? He says, it is. He gets it, by the way. That day wasn’t just a celebration of Violet, but of Anna and Finn starting a family together. He takes it that she and Finn didn’t work out, and she says, no. Finn said he’d forgive her if she’d promise not to keep the truth from him anymore… Valentin says, and she couldn’t do that because the Bureau has too much on her. She says, yeah, but she can see Violet whenever she wants. The home she and Finn started together, she won’t get that back. Charlotte comes along, and hugs Anna, who says, look how tall she is. Charlotte asks how Violet is. She hasn’t seen Violet since Christmas. Violet was super excited about the wedding, and papa told her it didn’t happen. If Violet needs cheering up, they could always have a playdate.  

Brook tells Maxie, really? Does she think Brook wants to be treated by the woman who took her Aunt Monica’s job? Maxie guesses not, and Britt says she can recommend some excellent obstetricians working out of GH. Brook says, she’ll get back to Britt. She says, so Maxie and Peter are splitsville, and she has a baby on the way. How is Maxie doing? Maxie says she’s actually doing okay. Britt’s been a huge help, and is pinch-hitting for her in Lamaze class. Britt says Brook should join them. Why not ask Valentin  to be her birthing partner?

Lucas says he wants to see if Felix can keep his cool while teaching these moms-to-be how to breathe properly. Epiphany’s a hard act to follow. Felix thanks him for rubbing it in, and says he’ll do his best. Lucas says he’s sure Felix will be great, and when class is over, he’ll take Felix out for a drink to celebrate his survival.

Carly says it’s best if Wiley doesn’t see Nina. If Nina can accept that, great. If not, she can talk to Carly’s lawyer. Nina says, she actually doesn’t know what she’s going to do about Wiley. All she knows is she met this… Carly interrupts, saying, she has no doubt, but Nina needs to think about the consequences before she does anything drastic. Nina asks if Carly is finished, and Carly says, that depends. Do they have anything else discuss? Nina looks at Sonny putting away glasses, and says, there was another thing she wanted to talk, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Carly did this to herself. She just made her life more miserable than it had to be. Carly made her bed, and now she has to lie in it – alone. She hangs up, and Sonny comes over. He says, hey. Who got her so upset? She says, no one. No one important. Just a bitter widow.   

Curtis asks if there’s a chance Taggert could walk, but Portia says, Cyrus is still a threat. Taggert is determined to plead guilty, but at least Jordan is keeping him in jail so Cyrus can’t get to him. Curtis says, that’s one thing Jordan told the truth about. She asks if he’s seen Jordan lately, and he says he saw her today. Portia says, and? He says, and they’re in limbo. He can’t pretend and just go back to the way they were before the lies came out, but he can’t move on either. Portia says he must miss Jordan, and he says he misses the Jordan he thought he knew, but now he’s thinking he never knew her at all. He had an idea of who she was, and she let him believe that idea. He only saw one side of her, and there are many sides. From the choices Jordan has made to her priorities. He felt like he was with a stranger. Portia says, it makes perfect sense. When she was with Taggert, she was never sure which Taggert she was with. The Taggert who was her husband, the one who spent 90% of his time undercover, or the one who spent 10% of his time with her and Trina, but was always thinking about something else. None of which he shared with her.

Taggert tells Jordan, what if he goes to trial and is found guilty? He’ll serve more time than if he just manned up to what he did. She says he has a shot at going free. Isn’t it worth the risk for Trina? Taggert hears the door, and sees Trina. He asks if Jordan did this, and she says Trina called earlier, and asked to see him. Trina comes to the cell, and says Jordan gave her permission to see him. She heard his sentencing was tomorrow. Jordan says she’ll give them some privacy, and tells Taggert, think about what she said. Taggert says he’s sorry Trina has to see him like this, and she says, not as sorry as she is for the grief she gave him when she learned he was alive. He asks if this means she forgives him, and she says she wishes she could give him the biggest hug he’s ever had in his life. He takes her hands through the bars, and says, him too.

Valentin tells Charlotte that he’ll contact Violet’s dad, and arrange for a playdate. He needs two minutes with Anna, and then he’ll bring the Shirley Temples over. She says, then he’ll tell her what they’re celebrating? and he says le blah-blah-blah in French. Charlotte goes back to their table, and Valentin says he doesn’t want to bring Anna further down, but Britt told him that Maxie said Peter is showing up at the apartment all hours of the day and night, knocking on the doors and the windows. Maxie sends him away, but he comes back the next day, and does it all over again. It sounds obsessive. She says, it sounds like Faison. She tried talking to Peter, and appealing to his good side, but he doesn’t want to hear it. Valentin says he hired more security for Charlotte, and Anna says that’s one positive thing that came out of her and Finn breaking up. Violet is no longer vulnerable to Peter. He says he doesn’t hear the exact words, but he senses she’s blaming herself. She says she has good reason, and he says he’s been around the world, and found no cure for regret, but can offer her one thing. She says, okay, and he says he can spring for a Shirley Temple with double cherries. Does she want to join them? She laughs, and says, no, but thanks him for the offer. She’s waiting for someone, and thinks he and Charlotte should be alone when he breaks the news about her baby brother or sister. He says he misses Nina every day, but as long as there’s breath in his body, he can be a shoulder for her to cry on. She says they’re quite a pair. He nods, smiling.

Sonny pours Nina some wine, and says she can tell him it’s none of his business, but what did this widow do to get her so bent out of shape? Nina says she had a daughter. Her daughter was taken from her after she was born, and years later, came back into her life. But Nina didn’t learn she was her daughter until after she died. He says he’s sorry, and she says the woman she was talking to was there when her daughter died. She could have saved her, but she hesitated. Then the widow and Nina’s ex lied, and tried to cover up the truth. Sonny says, that’s damn awful, and Nina says, her daughter wasn’t perfect. She had problems, and hurt a lot of people. Sonny asks if Nina knows who raised her, and she says, sort of. Her adoptive mother died before her daughter knew her, and her adoptive father was terrible. If Nina had raised her daughter, she would have been a different person. She would have known what love was, and been able to give love. Sonny says, maybe, but you can’t get caught up in the what ifs. You just got to live in the moment.

Carly frowns, and Michael asks if it’s bad news. She says, Nina called, and he says, about Wiley? She says Ava told her that Nina is considering legal action for visitation rights. Michael asks if Nina has a shot, and she says, Martin said she might. Grandparents have rights in New York state. She’s sure Nina was calling to put her on notice. He says he imagines she took that well, and she says she may have been harsh, but told Nina the truth. If Nina comes after them, Diane will destroy her. He sits, and says he’s sure Nina loved hearing that. Carly says he has to understand, with Sonny gone, she has to fight harder for their family.   

Brook says she’s not there for Lamaze class, and even if she was, Valentin would be her last pick as a partner. She’ll read the book. Maxie asks why is Brook there, and Lucas comes out. Brook hugs him, and says she’s there to see Lucas. She was wondering if he wanted to grab a coffee – herbal tea for her – and catch up on the latest. He says he sees the latest. They definitely have to catch up. Maxie says, wait. Is she brilliant, or is she brilliant. Lucas can be Brook’s birthing coach. Brook says Maxie isn’t brilliant; she’s insensitive. Does she really think Lucas wants to help birth another baby after what happened with Wiley? Lucas says he’d like to think he’s capable of separating the two. He’d be honored to be her Lamaze partner. Maxie says, then it’s settled, and Brook says, but coffee… He says, coffee can wait. He was planning on sitting in on the class anyway. Now he’ll be a part of it. Maxie says, excellent, and drags Brook down the hall. Lucas and Britt follow them.  

Felix sees Lucas come in, and says Lucas couldn’t resist joining them. Lucas says he’s helping Brook as a friend, and Felix says, the more, the merrier. He thanks everyone for coming, and says they made a great choice to practice Lamaze for the birth of their babies. Peter runs in, and says sorry he’s late. The traffic was murder. Is that a joking choice of word?

Peter says Maxie forgot to remind him about the class, but fortunately, he had it on his calendar app. The class hasn’t started yet, right? Felix says it hasn’t, and Peter says, good. He wouldn’t want to miss anything. He goes over to Maxie, and says, remember when she gave birth to James? Of course (🍷) she remembers. That birth was a bit too memorable, but this time will be much better, he promises. Their little girl is going to have a perfect birthing experience. He thanks Britt for filling in, and says he’ll take it from there, but Britt says, no, he won’t.

Charlotte asks if Valentin is buying her another snake, but he says, this is better than a snake. She says, a playmate for Butterscotch? and he says, a playmate for her. Leo isn’t going to be her only sibling. She’s going to have a baby brother or sister. Charlotte says, what?!

Anna joins Jordan at a table, and Jordan says, before dinner, she wants to set the terms. Anna says, it sounds it sounds ominous, and Jordan says, no discussion of work. Anna says, and no discussion of men, but Jordan says, all she wants to talk about is men. She tells Anna to go first. What’s going on with her and Finn? Anna says, Finn and Violet moved out, and Jordan says she’s sorry. Anna says her old cases at the Bureau caught up with her. She can’t discuss them with Finn; they’re too dangerous. What about Jordan and Curtis? Jordan says Curtis won’t forgive her for lying to him about Taggert being alive. Anna says she’s obviously still in love with him, and Jordan says, in high school, she was in love with the captain of the football team. He was handsome and tall, and had a great smile. Anna asks if he was going out with the lead cheerleader, and Jordan says, oh yeah, and she was absolutely not one. But she would walk by his locker at least once a day, which was on the opposite side of the school, just to get a glimpse of him. Kind of sad. Anna says, so sad, and Jordan says, she asked her mom, when do you get old enough to get over guys? Her mom said, never. Anna says her mother was wise.

Portia tells Curtis, when she and Taggert first got married, she imagined they’d come home and tell each other about their days. She was really looking forward to that when they got engaged. Curtis says, that’s what couples do. They tell stories and share about their lives. She says, with Taggert, it wasn’t a two-way street. She didn’t even know who his DEA partners were, or what he was working on. He’d leave when he was on an undercover assignment, and be gone for days, sometimes weeks. When he came home, he’d be so distracted and distant, she could never get his full attention. Which is why she started to look for attention from someone else.

Taggert tells Trina, not that he’s complaining, but what changed her mind? She asks if he remembers Cameron. Unfortunately, his dad was murdered. Taggert says he’s sorry; Jordan didn’t tell him. She says he has enough to worry about. Seeing what Cameron is going through, made her realize that she should be glad he’s alive. She has no time to waste being mad. He thanks her, and says she wishes she’d seen him sooner, but Jordan wouldn’t let her. He says, Jordan isn’t responsible for that – he is. He didn’t want to see her.

Michael asks how angry Nina was when Carly laid into her, and Carly tells him, she said something strange. Nina said she’d made her bed, and now she has to lie in it – alone. Michael wonders what that means, but Carly doesn’t know. She says, she could hear glasses clinking in the background, like Nina was in a bar or restaurant. Maybe she was drunk. He says it sounds like Nina got to her, and she says, it wasn’t the words; it was how Nina said it, like a threat. It’s something Nelle would have said. I’m starting to think Carly needs to go to Ferncliff for real, since she’s just making things up now, and finding connections that aren’t there.

Sonny asks where the bitter widow comes in, and Nina says her daughter left behind an adorable little boy; he’s the love of her life. Sonny says, Wiley. He heard her on the phone. She says the woman she was talking to is his other grandmother. She’s trying to keep Nina away from Wiley. Sonny asks why someone would keep people who love each other apart?    

Felix escorts Peter out, and Peter says he has every right to be in that class. He’s the baby’s father. Felix asks if he should call security, but Britt says let her talk to Peter first. Felix goes back in, and Britt asks what the hell Peter is playing at. Maxie said she needed space, and he needs to back off. He asks if backing off includes not being part of his daughter’s birth, and she says that could be a real possibility if he doesn’t stop harassing Maxie. He says he’s trying to be a father to his unborn child, and she tells him, wake up. Stalking Maxie isn’t scoring him any points with her. If he wants to be back in Maxie’s life and in the baby’s life, listen carefully. Maxie is fragile, and she’s asking him for space. He needs to respect her feelings. Got it?

Maxie says, that was so embarrassing, and Brook says, Peter should be embarrassed for barging in like that. Lucas says he’ll get Maxie some water, and Brook goes with him. She says she didn’t see that coming, and Lucas says, Peter is a determined father-to-be, he’ll give him that. What about her baby’s father? Is he going to be part of the baby’s birth?

Charlotte says, a baby is really coming? and Valentin, isn’t that cause for celebration? Doesn’t she want to have a little brother or sister? She says, no. It’s impossible. He says she can teach them to love everything she loves. Horseback riding, ice skating; she’ll have somebody to share her cranberry scones with. She says those are her favorite things, and she’s not sharing them with anyone.   

Anna and Jordan place their orders, and Jordan asks what’s next for Anna. Anna says, the past is over. She has to keep moving forward, and find a way to help Maxie send off Peter. Jordan says she has all her available detectives looking for evidence that Peter tried to have Andre and Franco killed, and Anna says they’re talking about work. Jordan says, they can’t help themselves sometimes, but Maxie and the baby are too important not to discuss. Anna says, indeed. Robert is keeping her updated on the plane crash that killed Drew, and so far, there’s no concrete evidence linking Peter to the crash. Jordan says, or the assassination attempts. She can’t believe those are Peter’s only crimes. He has a pattern of covering up his wrongs, and the cover-up is usually worse than the crime. Anna asks Jordan to do her a favor. Look into Franco’s murder again. Jordan says, the case is practically airtight against Jason, and Anna says, yeah, but Peter is quite effective at framing someone.

Portia says she can’t apologize enough for not telling Curtis that she was married when they started seeing each other. He says, that was years ago, and they’ve talked about it. She says, they did, but things changed; they’re friends now, and in different placed in in their lives. She doesn’t want him to think she’d lie to him again. He says he appreciates that. She says she does have a confession to make. When they first met, it was just a physical attraction, but once she got to know him, he became more important to her happiness. She started to have real feelings for him. She couldn’t tell him the truth because she was afraid she’d lose him. Of course (🍷) when she did tell him the truth, that’s exactly what happened.

Trina guesses Taggert didn’t want to see her because he knew how mad she was at him, but he says, no. He understood why she was angry, but he knew if he saw her, he couldn’t keep his resolve to plead guilty. If he takes this to court, even if he gets freed, it will put her back in Cyrus’s sights. She says, he’s sacrificing his freedom for her? What sense does that make? Cyrus belongs in prison, not him. Where does this end? He says Jordan thinks there’s a way out. Trina says, what? and he says, to plead not guilty. She says, then do it, but he says he is guilty. She says he made up evidence against Cyrus for all the right reasons. She’ll stand up in front of the judge and jury, and tell them her father is a hero.

Michael tells Carly, Nina has struggled with mental health problems in the past, but he wouldn’t put her in the same category as Nelle. Carly says she wouldn’t have either, until today. It sounded like Nina was threatening her, which is all the more reason she shouldn’t be around Wiley. He says he told Willow about that, and Willow was surprised and hurt that he made the decision without talking to her. Carly says, there was no time to consult Willow. He made the right decision. Please don’t take it back.   

Nina tells Sonny, that’s a good question. She doesn’t know why someone would deliberately keep two people who love each other apart. She’s still trying to figure it out. He says maybe if the widow felt the way Nina does, she’d understand. Nina says, how so? and he says, if someone kept her from the person she loved, she might understand Nina’s pain.

Taggert says Trina knows how much he loves her, and she says, then fight the charges. Fight for his freedom. Do it for her, so she can hug him again.  

Curtis says he appreciates Portia coming clean. He feels guilty. He should been more understanding when Portia told him she was married. Instead, he walked away. She says she doesn’t want him to feel guilty. She just wanted to make sure he knew he could trust her now. He says he does, and she says she’s going; she has an early call. He tells her to wish Taggert good luck at his sentencing hearing, and she says she will.

Anna tells Jordan that Jason warned her about Peter, but she refused to listen. She’s not making that mistake again. Peter has far more reason to kill Franco than Jason did. Jordan tells her to come into the office, and they’ll talk about it. Anna says they’re going to order another drink, and Jordan says, and talk about their favorite topic. Anna says, themselves, and they laugh.

Valentin says Charlotte lets Rocco pet Butterscotch and play with her snake, and Charlotte says, one brother is enough. Besides he’s her mom’s son, not Valentin’s. He asks if she’s thinking that he’ll love the baby more than her, and she says, everyone loves babies. Nina would have loved her just ask much, but Nina doesn’t live with them anymore. He says he’ll never love anyone the way he loves her, and she asks if he promises. He says, cross his heart and hope to die.

Brook tells Lucas not to worry about her baby’s daddy. Even if they had a relationship, she wouldn’t want him anywhere near the birthing room. Lucas is the perfect person to help her. He says he’s honored, and she says, don’t be. Not until he hears what she has planned.

Britt and Felix come back to the class, and Maxie asks if Britt got rid of Peter. Britt says she did, but he can’t keep thinking he has a chance with Maxie. A, it’s not true; and B, he won’t give up. Maxie says she knows, and Britt says they have to figure out how to get Peter to back off permanently, without tipping him into outright obsession. Maxie says, don’t worry. She has a plan, and once her plan is set in motion, Peter won’t know what hit him.

Michael tells Carly, he hasn’t made a decision about Nina’s role in Wiley’s life. He has to discuss with Willow. Carly says, if he and Willow had heard the conversation just now, they’d be convinced. They’d know Nina isn’t a in a good place. She shouldn’t be near Wiley. Michael says, and if Nina decides to sue him and Willow for visitation rights? She says, they stop her. Whatever it takes.

Nina thanks Sonny, and says, sometimes she feels like she’s fighting windmills by herself. She appreciates his support. He says, maybe they were meant to meet. Like they say in the movies, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. She says, it already is.

Tomorrow, Anna tells Dante to get on with the rest of his life, Brando says his mother is the eyewitness, and Cyrus asks if he and Carly understand each other.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Explaining last week’s drunken state, as well as throwing up in Bill’s Ferrari and the entryway, Jennifer said she’d needed to blow off steam. She didn’t want to think about the problems she had to go home to. She claimed she’d never gotten that drunk like that before, and I said, wait… What about Tequila Jen? She said, once you start seeing the room move, it’s your cue to stop. I’d say so.

Delores’s daughter Gabrielle was home from Tufts. Frankly, I’d forgotten Delores had a daughter. Delores said Gabby had been in vet school in the Caribbean, but had started attending Tufts due to the pandemic, bringing along six dogs. At least that’s how many I counted. She was home because Delores was receiving the Ambassador of Hope Award for the work she’d done with breast cancer. Frank Jr. said one of his earliest memories was of Gabby saying she wanted be a veterinarian, but she was so young, she couldn’t even pronounce it.

Teresa’s girls called Joe #1 in Italy, and he said he was coming out with the Rolls Royce of massagers. In her interview, Teresa explained that Joe was in the sex toy business, and had asked her to be a part of it. In what capacity, she didn’t say, and I don’t want to know. She said there was nothing wrong with sex toys, and they were paying the bills. I hear that. She said she’d gotten the house in the divorce, and Joe got nothing, since she’d paid off his debts. She told Joe that Melissa had planned a trip to the Jersey shore, where they’d be having celebration of her dad. In Teresa’s interview, she said she felt like an orphan, but she was happy about her parents being together again. This was one of the few times I had sympathy for her, but I knew she’d do something to negate that before the end of the episode. I was right.

Delores had David’s house covered in flowers – they were even hanging from the ceiling. She said, normally, the award was celebrated with a huge event, but because of the pandemic, it was being given to her in front of her family. Tonight, she was having friends over to celebrate. In Jennifer’s interview, she said she didn’t understand David and Delores’s relationship. Delores said she wasn’t moving in without a ring, but they were both there all the time. Now, there was a party for Delores, and he wasn’t staying. (He had to work.) When Jackie arrived, Delores told her that Teresa wasn’t coming, and Jackie said she didn’t want any negative energy. We flashed back to Jackie making arrangements to stay at Melissa’s house. The rest of the women arrived, sans Teresa, who was at the soccer tournament. Melissa filled Jackie in on Jennifer getting hammered at Teresa’s pool party. In Marge’s interview, she said seeing Jennifer drunk gave her flashbacks of her mother. She didn’t want Jennifer’s five kids to deal with that. Melissa asked why Delores didn’t live in David’s house, and Delores said she’d built a life in her own house and liked her freedom. In Melissa’s interview, she thought it was a coping mechanism on Delores’s part, but Delores said if she wanted to move in, she would. in Marge’s interview, she said Delores didn’t need to be taken care of by a man; that wasn’t what this was about. Delores said David was getting no benefit out of them being there, since he’d have to do the clean up later. She showed the women her award, and Melissa said helping people was where Delores shined. Melissa asked how many days a week Delores and David had sex, which was pretty intrusive, and in Delores’s interview, she said she was old school, and it was none of Melissa’s business. Melissa told everyone that Teresa wasn’t coming tonight, but they were going to do a party of life for her father-in-law at the shore. Jackie said she wasn’t giving any energy or life any more to her and Teresa’s argument.

Headed to the shore, and in the car with Delores, Frank, and Jennifer, Teresa said her divorce was being finalized after five years. In her interview, she said she and Juicy Joe had been together so long, it was crazy to think you could sign a paper and poof! your marriage is over. Teresa said no one could take Joe #1’s place, but she’d like to find someone. Delores was encouraging, and in Jennifer’s interview, she wondered how Delores could clearly see what Teresa deserved, but not what she deserved herself. Jackie said Evan was coming for day two. She wanted to make sure it wasn’t a sh*t show first. In the car, Jennifer said Bill claimed Joe #3 heard the rumor about Evan. Teresa felt it kind of validated what she’d said. In Frank’s interview, he said what happened at guy’s night, stayed at guy’s night. Teresa having information was like waiting for a bomb to go off. Teresa said she wasn’t doing round two of Lake George. I said, yeah, right. 

It always seems weird to me that when they talk about the Jersey shore on this show, they mean Tom’s River. I live at the shore, maybe twenty minutes from there, and don’t really consider it a shore town. Teresa said she hadn’t been to Delores’s house there since she was in her twenties, and we saw some cool old photos. Jackie was staying at Melissa’s house with Marge. Teresa got a call from realtor Chad that some people wanted to see her house, and she said she was going to have a heart attack. She showed the women texts from her daughters, saying it was time for a fresh start, but she’d always have them. In Delores’s interview, she said Teresa had been through a lot. She’d gone to jail, lost both her parents, and her husband had been deported. How much could a person take? She said Teresa had handled it with strength and grace, and not too many people could get through all that the way she did. She left out all the fits Teresa has pitched. With strength and grace of course.  

Melissa said you never knew what you were going to get with Teresa, and Jackie said she didn’t think Teresa was going to hold back. Delores thought it was going to be a bloodbath. Jennifer made sure her dad and kids had gotten to the airport on time for their flight to Turkey. She said her mother wouldn’t go because her dad was going. Jennifer said it bothered her that her mother was willing to sabotage her own happiness just because she was mad at her dad. When Teresa arrived, she gave out gift bags with humongous purple vibrators in them. Marge pointed out that they were kind of big, and not being able to resist, Teresa said she didn’t know if it would fit up Jackie’s ass, but Jackie could try. But she did say it with strength and grace. Jackie said she wasn’t doing this with Teresa, and Teresa said Jackie told her to stick her olive branch up her ass. Jackie said that was because she knew it wasn’t really an olive branch. She was included in a group text, and it was nothing personal. Jackie wondered why they couldn’t just agree not to be friends, and Delores said, how about them Mets? now that everything that had to be said was out of the way, that’s it. Teresa said it was out of her system, but Jackie didn’t believe Teresa was done. Me neither.  

Marge asked if Teresa was emotional over selling her house, and Teresa said a little. Her divorce was also being finalized today. She said Delores and Joe #2 should take back what they said; Joe #1 was a class act. We flashed back to the reunion where Joe #2 and Delores expressed concern about Joe #1 would try to take Teresa’s money in the divorce. In Joe #2’s interview, he said Juicy Joe was not always good to his sister, and he was there to protect her. Joe #1 had put an article out about him – we saw a quick headline about Juicy Joe shading Joe #2’s marriage – and Teresa said nothing. Teresa made everyone promise not to talk smack about Joe #1. Marge said Teresa was aggressive and had just made the guys uncomfortable. She was always yelling about something, and causing turmoil in the group. Teresa said Jennifer brought up what Joe #3 had said at boy’s night, that he’d heard the rumor about Evan. Now everyone was even more uncomfortable. Jennifer confirmed Bill claimed Joe #3 said he’d heard it in town, and Marge asked if Jennifer was there. Jennifer said, no, Bill told her, and Marge told her to shut up. There was some back and forth shut up’ing, and in Frank’s interview, he said he wasn’t going to throe his boy under the bus, or make the night go further south. Marge asked Joe #3 if he’d heard it, but he insisted he’d never said that. In Marge’s interview, she said Joe #3 heard the rumor from the blabbermouth across the table from him – i.e. Teresa. Jackie said she wasn’t giving this POS life, and Marge asked why Teresa was treating her this way. The best part was how, from the moment Teresa walked in, Melissa and Marge kept fussing over Jackie, and Jackie kept saying she didn’t give flying, and barely reacted. Jackie said Teresa treated everyone like sh*t, and Marge said Teresa did have her hair pulled. Melissa said Teresa had called her a stripper, and we flashed back to that, but no mention of the trashed sprinkle cookies was made. Now that I think of it, Sprinkle Cookies would be a great stripper name. Joe #2 told them to stop it, and Jackie suggested they drop it and be cordial. Teresa said Jackie wasn’t confident, and she liked to be around confident people, although I’ll be damned if I know how she was connecting that to anything. Jackie asked if Teresa had gotten her confidence in jail, and Teresa said she went to jail; big deal. She called Jackie a nasty bitch, got up, saying she didn’t want to be in the same room with Jackie, and everyone could go f*** themselves.

To be continued…

🌃 All Through the Night…

Desperate. For. Sleep. Meet you tomorrow for tea and what I keep hoping is the finale of Make It Stop Summer House. Until then, stay safe, stay making sound decisions, and stay not bothering to explain anything to Carly. She won’t listen anyway.