What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Violet runs into a nail salon, followed by an out of breath Finn, who tells her that she has to wait up for her dad. She looks at the polish, and says, so many colors. He tells her to pick whatever she wants, and she asks if he’s ever gotten his nails done. He says, nope, and she says, he should get his nails done too. Looking over from one of the stations, Ava says, there’s a first time for everything.

Curtis punches the heavy bag, when Sonny walks into the gym. Sonny says, whoever he is, Curtis must hate him a lot.

Portia runs into The Savoy, and asks if N’neka has seen Curtis, but N’neka says, he texted that he was coming in late. Does she want to leave a message for him? Portia says, she’s been leaving messages; she just hasn’t heard back. Drew walks in, and says, join the club. Curtis hasn’t been answering his messages either.

Sonny says, damn. Love is stronger than hate. Anybody he knows? Dante is there, looking at his phone, and Sonny asks if something is wrong. Dante says, he got a text from Jordan. He’s needed at GH. Sonny says, trouble? and Dante says he’ll let Sonny know. Curtis says, must be frustrating; son with a badge who won’t share. Sonny says, he and Dante know where they stand. Kind of like maybe Curtis and his father. Brando walks by answering his phone, and says, Nina? Nina says she knows it’s last minute, but she was wondering if he could swing by her apartment. Brando says, something wrong? and Nina says, she just met with Sasha. She could be overreacting, and she probably is, but Sasha seemed kind of fragile. Brando says he’s on his way. Curtis tosses Sonny a pair of gloves, and says, it looks like Sonny might need them more than him.

At some new semi-outside place in the MetroCourt, Lucy sits with Maxie, Brook, and Gladys. She toasts to them, and the success of the IPO. Deception wouldn’t be where it is today without all their hard work and passion. They clink glasses, except for Gladys, who says, since she was included in the hard work and passion speech, why wasn’t she given a stock share? Lucy says, she got a nice little raise, and Gladys says, peanuts. Brook tells her to mooch off her rich daughter-in-law, and Lucy asks Maxie what she’s going to do with her millions. Maxie says she’s going to put a ton of it away for her kids’ education. She keeps looking at her phone, and Brook asks if she’s expecting a call. Maxie says, Austin was supposed to stop by, but that was an hour ago. Sasha walks in, and Gladys runs over to hug her. Gladys says, shy all of a sudden? What kept her so long? They can’t have a party without the Face of Deception. Sasha says she’s here now, and everyone goes, yay!

Alexis says, this is how Harmony shows her love for Willow? By killing her and Carly? Harmony says she didn’t want it this way, and Alexis asks, where does it end? First Neil and his brother, now her and Carly? How many people have to die to maintain the lie that Willow is her daughter? She starts to make a call, and Harmony says, as many as it takes, and rushes her.

Sonny says he just finished his workout. He doesn’t need to climb back in the ring to show Curtis how it’s done, especially after the great night he had at Curtis’s club. Curtis says, if he’s talking about the poker game, Miss Wu runs the games; he just gives her access to the backroom. Sonny says, must be a profitable arrangement, and Curtis says, Sonny would know, since he and Miss Wu partnered up. Sonny says, Miss Wu isn’t his partner; she’s his business associate, just like Curtis. Treat her as such, and everyone walks away happy at the end of the evening. Curtis says, some walk away richer, some poorer, and Sonny says, life’s a gamble, and there’s nothing riskier than family. Curtis should know about that. Curtis says, that’s the second time Sonny’s alluded to his father. Why the sudden interest?

At a table, Drew asks if Portia is thinking what he’s thinking, and Portia says, that Curtis’s radio silence has something to do with his father? He asks what she knows specifically, and she says, Trina told her that she ran into Marshall on his way out of town. He said he was no longer interested in putting down roots in Port Charles anymore. Drew says, or with his family, and she says, he doesn’t seem surprised by that information. Drew knows why Marshall left town, doesn’t he?

Dante comes out of the hospital elevator, and sees Rory. He asks, how’s the patient? and Rory says, messed up pretty badly. Dante sees TJ, and asks, what’s going on? Is he conscious? Did he say anything? TJ says, the patient is awake, but he’s not making much sense, and Dante tells Rory that he’s got this. Rory leaves, and Dante goes into the room. TJ says, the patient’s name… but Dante says he already knows the patient’s name. He and Eric go way back.

Nina thanks Brando for coming, and asks if she ever thanked him for helping Sonny overcome the men who tried to rob them. Brando says, wrong place, right time, and she says, most people run from trouble, but he ran right into it deliberately. He says, she didn’t really call him over to thank him, or rehash what happened at Charlie’s. This is about Sasha, so… Nina says, the two are kind of connected. His courage put him right in the line of fire, and it really frightened Sasha. He says, Sasha knows it’s a one-off. He’s managed to keep his distance from Sonny. She says, but Sonny’s world still managed to find him. She knows he knows this, but he has to take it seriously. After losing Liam, Sasha is terrified of losing him too.

Sasha asks, who wants seconds; the second round is on her. Lucy says, already spending her newfound wealth. Does Mr. Gilmore get a say? Sasha says, her husband is Mr. Brando Corbin. He’s a very special person with his own identity. Gladys says, you tell ‘em, honey. It never pays to underestimate the Corbins. Lucy says she’s teasing. Another toast. To herself, for bringing them all together to make Deception the jewel in the cosmetic crown. They clink glasses, and Lucy says, she actually spoke to Brando this morning and she’s hot on the trail of finding them the perfect house. Maxie and Brook leave for the restroom, and Lucy says, she really believes real estate is an important investment, but you can’t drive it and you can’t wear it, so what is Sasha splurging on to celebrate? Gladys says she’s all for a hot pink convertible.

Outside, Brook says, is it just her, or is Sasha just pretending to enjoy herself? and Maxie says, it’s not just her. Brook says, and Maxie isn’t even pretending. Is Austin ghosting her? Maxie asks why she would say something like that. Brook says, if she’s wrong, just tell her, and Maxie says, she’s wrong. Brook says, okay, but some guys can’t stand when the woman they’re seeing can buy them out.

Gladys asks what Lucy intends to do with her millions, but Lucy says she hasn’t decided yet. One of the waiters makes a call, and says, the Face of Deception is living it up with the top brass in the MetroCourt Garden… No, they’re just getting started.

Her arm against Alexis’s throat, holding her against the car, Harmony says she just wanted to be friends. Alexis says, let her go, but Harmony says, she can’t. She’s not a murderer. They all made her do it. Alexis pushes Harmony to the ground, and says, someone else made her stick a needle in Neil’s arm? Or push his brother to his death? None of that was Harmony’s fault or her doing? You’re wrong, Harmony. Or should I say Lorraine? Harmony picks up another giant rock, and holds it above her head. She comes for Alexis, but Carly pops out and intercepts her. She pushes Harmony back down, and says, back the hell off.

Ava asks if it’s the first time Violet is having her nails done, and Violet says it is. Violet sees Ava’s nails and says, so pretty. She wants that color. Ava thanks her, saying, she was a little worried about it. Violet can have a design in this color if she wants. Violet asks Finn if she can have a design, and Ava says, costs a little extra. Sorry. Finn says, whatever Violet wants, and the nail technician takes her to pick out a design. Ava says, her little girl Avery likes hearts, unicorns, and rainbows. It’s never too soon to experience the finer things in life. Finn says, Violet was the class helper this week, so it’s a special treat. Ava says she bets it’s a treat for him too. If he’s anything like her, there’s nothing more precious than time with his little girl.

Sonny says, Curtis’s father intrigues him. The first time they met, Marshall acted like he didn’t like him, like they’re traded punches in a past life. Curtis says, maybe they did, and Sonny says, that’s Marshall’s problem. Curtis says, Marshall has no use for people in Sonny’s chosen profession, but since he’s interested, why did Sonny tell him no when he asked for help looking into Marshall’s past? Sonny flashes back to seeing Marshall’s prescription bottle, and says, the first time he met Marshall is when Marshall came to Port Charles. Let him tell Curtis something. Sometimes the past is better left where it belongs – in the past.  

Drew thinks Portia should speak to Curtis, and she says, she would if he’d return her messages, or Drew’s. She can only assume something serious is going on here. She gets the sense Drew knows more than he’s telling her. She’s not asking him to betray a confidence, but if Curtis is hurting, she wants to help; she needs to. He says he knows how much Curtis means to her, and how much she means to Curtis. Him keeping silent isn’t going to help anybody. He’ll just take the hit from Curtis if it comes to that. She says, then he knows why Marshall left town, and he says, yeah. He helped drive Marshall away.

Maxie says, Brook is wrong about Austin; money means nothing to him. When she first met him, he was hiking in the woods, munching on granola bars. Brook says, until he moved to Port Charles, and started to maneuver for a slice of the Quartermaine pie. Maxie says, he didn’t want anything to do with the Quartermaine millions; he just wanted respect for his father. He even turned down the offer Brook’s family made to buy him out. Brook says, because he was holding out for voting stock, which by the way, has more value. Maxie asks, what happened to giving Austin a chance for her sake? and Brook says, Maxie is right. She’s just speaking from her own experience. Most guys she meets are either threatened by her trust fund or want to help her spend it. She hopes she’s wrong, and Nature Boy’s the exception. Austin runs up to Maxie, and says he’s so sorry. He had the world’s most difficult patient, then got stuck in traffic, and… She looks amazing. He kisses her, and asks if everything is okay. She looks at Brook.

A photographer shows up at the MetroCourt Garden, and the waiter tells him, over there. He gives the waiter some cash, and heads toward Sasha’s table. Sasha thanks Lucy for suggesting this, and Gladys says, especially since the tab is on Deception. Sasha says, she needed a chance to unwind, and Lucy says she thinks they all did. Tomorrow is another grueling day. They have to meet with prospective buyers. Sasha has a bunch of meetings with social media, and she set up a couple of wine and dines with distributors and Sasha. Sasha says, the Face of Deception is a 24 hour gig, and Gladys says, she makes it sound like its a bad thing. She’s gorgeous, successful, a multi-millionaire; she was born for this. The photographer is suddenly there, and says, smile, Sasha. Let’s see the Face of Deception.

Brando tells Nina, Sasha knows she isn’t going to lose him; he made sure of that. Nina says, she knows. You can plan for your life, but he knows how life is; it’s unpredictable. He’d said, wrong place, right time? Well, sometimes it’s wrong place, wrong time. Brando says he gets it. Bad things happen; things they can’t plan for. Sasha doesn’t have to worry. He’s not taking any stupid risks, or being in the line of fire. He’s not in active service anymore. He’s not a cop, and he’s definitely not involved in any aspect of Sonny’s business. He just fixes cars. She says, he and Sasha just experienced a traumatic loss. Her recovery might not be the same as his. When you experience that kind of loss, you’re frightened into thinking it’s going to happen again at any time. You’re afraid to invest, and don’t trust your own happiness, since you’re afraid it can be snatched away quickly. She knows the unbearable pain of losing a child. That’s the kind of emptiness that never really goes away.

Carly asks what the hell Harmony is doing, and Harmony says, she won’t let Carly take Willow and Wiley away from her. She struggles with Carly, and says, Alexis, please.

Curtis says, if he didn’t know better, he’d think Sonny was deliberately keeping something from him. Sonny says, he and Curtis haven’t had any problems, but he knows how much Nina values Curtis’s friendship. Curtis says, Nina’s great, and Sonny agrees. He wants Curtis to know he’s not here to muscle in on Curtis’s club. Curtis says, Sonny and Selena Wu are business partners? Really? Sonny says, yeah, and he hopes it works out with Curtis and his dad. Curtis says, Sonny might be a little too late. Marshall left town already.

Drew says, Curtis wanted to find out what Marshall was up to all those years he pretended to be dead. Portia says, she knows Drew offered to help him. So what did he do? Hire a private investigator? Tap Marshall’s phone, go through the garbage, what? He says, he offered Marshall a job at Aurora, and she says, and Curtis knows about this? He nods, and says, when you apply for a job, what’s the first thing HR does? She says, they do a background check, and he says, long story short, they came up empty, but Marshall found out about it, and felt used. She says, still, does he think that would be enough to drive Marshall away? and he says, maybe. Or maybe Curtis discovered something else, and confronted Marshall about it? She says, any idea what that something else is? and he says, all he knows is, Curtis was trying to protect her and Trina from any trouble that might be following Marshall. So don’t judge him too harshly for going behind Marshall’s back. She says, even if it cost Curtis his father?

Dante asks if Eric remembers him. He’s the cop who busted Eric for armed robbery at Charlie’s Pub. Where’s his partner? Is he worse off than Eric? Dante leans closer, and says, he noticed Eric doesn’t feel like talking, so he’ll make this simple. Who did this to him?

The photographer keeps snapping photos, and tells Sasha to smile. Let’s see that beautiful Face of Deception. Gladys tells him, stop, and Lucy says, he’s gotten enough. She’s going to call security. He’s done. He says, ladies, let’s get a shot of the newly minted millionaires on top of the world. Maxie and Brook come back, followed by Austin, and Brook asks if he wants Olivia Quartermaine to hear about this. Did she mention Olivia is her stepmother? Sasha says, leave me alone, please, and dashes out. The photographer tries to follow, but Austin says, he heard her; leave her alone. He says, he’s just doing his job, and Austin says, beat it. The photographer says, Deception’s loss, and leaves. Gladys wonders where Sasha went.

Outside alone, Sasha digs in her bag, and takes out her pillbox. She tries to take one, when the photographer pops out, and asks if that’s on the menu. She drops everything on the ground, and he snaps more photos.  

Harmony continues to struggle with Carly, and finally pushes her down. Harmony jets, and Alexis runs over to Carly, saying, she’ll send for an ambulance. Carly says, they’ve got to stop Harmony.

Violet asks the nail technician, what’s the most popular color? The woman shows her, and she says, cool. Finn tells Ava, Violet’s in seventh heaven, and she says, enjoy it. She doesn’t get as much time as she’d like with her daughter; she’s learned to cherish every moment. Violet says, it tickles, and Ava says, wait until she gets a pedicure. Finn tells Violet, the operative word is wait, and tells Ava, now she’s going to want one. Ava says, and he’ll get her one. He’s a good dad; she can tell. He says he tries, but he gets accused of overdoing it. This is the easy part, right? The hard part is wanting to protect her, every single moment, whether he’s with her or not. She says she knows exactly how he feels. Last year, she almost left the country to protect Avery. She’s glad it didn’t come to that. Finn says, anything for them, right? and she says, absolutely. Violet says, Finn hasn’t picked a color, and Finn asks Ava, what was he saying? He tells Violet, okay, he’ll pick a color, and blows her a kiss.  

Dante says, Eric knows who did this to him, doesn’t he? and Eric flashes back to Sonny opening the car trunk. Sonny says, Eric will be joining his friend real soon, and laughs. Dante says, he’ll get whoever did this to Eric. Eric’s just got to give him a name.

Sonny asks why Curtis isn’t looking for his dad. Unless he knows where Marshall’s headed. Curtis says he doesn’t, and Sonny says he can get his guys to track Marshall down. Curtis asks why Sonny cares, and Sonny says he knows what it’s like when a father and son stop trusting one another. Curtis says he’s sure Sonny speaks from experience, and Sonny says, he has two very different strong sons who mean the world to him. They’ve had their differences over the years. They’ve burned some bridges. Some have been repaired; others haven’t. Curtis says he’s sorry. How does Sonny know he and Marshall haven’t burned their own bridges? and Sonny says, only Curtis knows that. Does he think it can’t be rebuilt? If he thinks it can, don’t give up

Drew tells Portia, Marshall was hiding something from his past. Curtis had no idea what it was, or when the secret might surface. He was trying to be proactive, and dig it out that secret before it came back on his family. She says, Marshall is a musician. He has a clarinet in his case, not a machine gun. He says, then why is Marshall being so secretive? Why did he imply he was on the run from someone or something from his past? Portia wishes Curtis had let her help him find the answers. She could have helped him avoid trouble in the process. Drew says, there’s no trouble, and Portia says, there’s no trouble not yet. He says, put herself in Curtis’s shoes. If Marshall’s past does end up being dangerous, the less she knows, the better.

Nina tells Brando, never mind her. Nobody is going to use her as a model on recovering from grief in a healthy way. She’s probably just projecting her own loss on Sasha. He says, maybe Sasha still seems like the daughter Nina never had. She still regrets passing herself off as Nina’s child. She thinks about it nearly every day. Nina says, she and Sasha have both done things they regret. Tell his wife that she needs to focus on herself and him. If that’s not enough to make her happy, she has this amazing career that’s made her so much money. He says, it doesn’t take the place of Liam. Nothing does.

Sasha gathers up her stuff, and says, please leave her alone. A pill has skittered away, and the photographer picks it up and puts it in his pocket. He continues to take pictures, and she covers her face, saying, please stop it.

Austin asks if Maxie wants to get dinner, but Maxie asks if they can reschedule. She doesn’t want to leave Sasha. Brook says she’ll stick around; enjoy her night. Austin asks if Brook is suggesting… She’s helping Maxie spend time with him? Brook says, as long as she doesn’t have to spend time with him, and he says, that’s funny; touché. Maxie asks if they should go to the terrace for the spring tasting menu, but Austin suggests they get a six-pack and takeout wings, and go back to her place. Sasha comes back, the photographer following her, still snapping photos. She tells him, leave her alone, and Gladys grabs his camera, saying, what part of get lost does he not understand? He says, give that back, and Austin steps in front of him and says, or what? What will he do? He says he’s just doing his job, and Austin says, do his job someplace else, like the gutter. He says, she has his camera; that’s theft. Gladys throws it to him, and says, take it back, you rotten filthy piece of garbage. She tells Sasha, let’s go. Carly’s going to hear about this. She and Sasha leave, and Lucy says, he does know who she’s talking about. Carly. She happens to be the ex-wife of Sonny Corinthos, a very complicated businessman, so she thinks he should be very, very afraid. She knows from personal experience, that Mr. Corinthos has a very bad temper, and a short fuse; he doesn’t like women exploited. And if he doesn’t want to get involved, Carly has a very fearsome lawyer, who will take everything he has. He says, his memory card. It has his photos on it. He runs out, and Maxie and Brook say, Gladys, and smile.

Alexis asks what happened to Carly, and Carly says, Harmony drugged her. They’ve got to stop her. Alexis says, let the police take care of it. They’re on their way. Carly says, and if they’re too late, Harmony is going to go straight for Willow and Wiley.

Ava tells Violet that she chose the perfect color, while Finn blows on his nails. He says he really thinks lavender is his color, and shows them his hand. Ava says, anything for them.

On the phone, Sonny asks if Avery would like an ice cream sundae… Has she been a good girl?… Here’s what he’s going to do. He’s going to pick up all the stuff to make an ice cream sundae, and bring it tomorrow. Is that a deal?… He loves her too. Sweet dreams. Dante comes back, and Sonny asks, what happened at GH? Dante says, TJ got a new patient; one of the guys who tried to rob Sonny at Charlie’s. Sonny says, some guys just can’t catch a break. How is he doing? Dante says, he has a broken arm, loss of tooth, loss of blood, loss of memory too, actually. He doesn’t know how he got to the ER or who put him there. Sonny says, memory is a fragile thing. He should know that. How’s his partner? Dante says, vanished… into thin air.

A delivery man brings a package to the hospital for TJ, and TJ signs for it. TJ looks it over, and says, who’s it from? but the man is gone already.  

Nina tells Brando that she never said this, but she’s sorry he lost Liam too. His grief is just as significant as Sasha’s. He says, he and Sasha grieve in different ways. He guesses he gets his way from his mom. You know what she’s feeling. When you step on Gladys’s toes, she says, ouch. Nina laughs, and says, and if you step on Sasha’s toes, she’ll apologize for being in the way. He says, his mom is worried Sasha is covering up her pain. He thought that was just her way of processing it. Nina says, she insists on toughing it out, keeping all that hurt inside, which means all that pain could be taking an emotional toll on her that no one is aware of.

Sasha drives, with Gladys in the passenger seat. Someone tailgates them, and is blowing the horn. Sasha says, it’s the photographer. She can’t shake him. Gladys holds up the memory card, and says, he wants this. Sasha says, she stole it? and Gladys says, he deserves it after taking all those pictures of her. Sasha says, she’d tell Gladys how much she loves her, but first she has to lose this parasite. She steps on the gas.

Rory tells Carly, the paramedics are on the way. How is she feeling? Carly says, Harmony drugged her. She has no idea what was in the syringe, but she’s feeling better. Alexis saved her life. Alexis says, Carly saved her life. He says, they both were targeted because Harmony killed Neil Byrne and they found out? They nod, and Alexis says, Harmony also killed Neil’s brother Brendon. Rory says, the body they recovered from the river, and Alexis says, Harmony pushed Brendon off the cliff. The river must have carried him to the harbor. Rory asks if she indicated a motive, and Alexis says, Brendon was blackmailing her. Carly says, he’s wasting time talking to them. Harmony took off through the woods, and he’s got to stop her. If she reaches the highway, she’ll escape.

In the woods, Harmony stops to look at a picture of Willow and Wiley on her phone. She says, they’re all she has left, and she won’t lose them.

Dante says, Sonny wouldn’t know the robbery suspect, would he? and Sonny says, some guys are just meant for trouble. Like those guys who tried to hold him up at Charlie’s. Trouble finally found them. Dante says, one of them has disappeared, and one of them is beat up in a hospital bed. He thinks the message got through. Sonny says, to whom? and Dante says, to them, and whoever else tries to take what’s Sonny’s. Sonny says, he’s the victim, and Dante says he knows. He knows that someone paid for their high-priced lawyer, and someone got them bailed out. Somebody did that to be generous or keep them within reach. He puts his hand on Sonny’s shoulder, and says, let’s hope the message got through, and was received, and that’s the end of it, and there’s no repercussions. Sonny says, it’s a dangerous world out there, right? He just wants to say that the PCPD is damn lucky to have a good man like Dante.

Portia says, if Curtis knows why his father walked out on him a second time, that would explain his silence, and Drew says, how so? She says, maybe Curtis went after Marshall; maybe Curtis is in danger. She doesn’t know. Curtis walks in, and Drew asks if he’s okay; they were getting worried. Curtis says, he saw they’d left some messages. He’s sorry he upset them. Portia says, he knows her, always imagining the worst case scenario, and Drew says, he has to go. He gets up, and tells Curtis, next time, just shoot him a text. Give him a thumbs up; let him know he’s okay. They bro-hug and Drew leaves. Curtis tells Portia, they’ve got to talk, and she says, they sure do.

TJ opens the box, and takes a case out. Inside is Marshall’s clarinet, with a note. I wanted leave you a gift, but all I have to offer is this gift of music. Like you said about surgery, it’s like one great unfinished symphony. Your loving grandpa. He takes a piece out, and smiles.

Nina says, Brando shouldn’t have to support Sasha alone. If it’s not intruding, she’d like to help Sasha through this challenging time. He says, it’s no intrusion at all. She’s helped already by bringing this to his attention. She says, together they’ll make sure Sasha knows she’s not alone. He thanks her, and leaves.

Lucy says, she knows Sasha’s had issues with Gladys in the past – haven’t they all? – but tonight under the circumstances, she’s glad Gladys is Sasha’s mother-in-law. Brook says, that photographer was like a tick. He latched onto Sasha, and we couldn’t get rid of him. Maxie wonders if they should call her, but Lucy has the feeling Sasha wants to be alone. The tab is taken care of, and she’ll see Brook and Maxie bright and early in the morning, and hopefully Sasha is over the shock of being rich and famous. Brook says, all the money in the world can’t buy happiness, right Austin? Austin says, for sure, but it does pay for the tasting menu upstairs. Maxie says she thought he wanted chicken wings, but he says he changed his mind. As much as it pains him to agree with Brook, she makes a valid point. It sounds romantic. Shall they? He holds out his arm, and Maxie takes it, saying, they shall. He says, awesome, and they leave.

On the radio, Rory says, Lorraine Miller, also known as Harmony. Carly asks if he can have them notify Michael Corinthos. He and Willow Tate share a child, Wiley Corinthos, and Harmony could be going straight for them. Alexis says, they have to find Harmony before she makes it to the Quartermaines, and Carly says, she’s already killed two people. She has nothing else to lose.

Harmony looks at the picture, and says she has to get to Willow before the police get to her. Willow will understand. She’ll make Willow understand

The photographer gets closer, blowing his horn, and Sasha says, what’s he doing? She looks in her side mirror as Harmony steps into the road. She steps in front of Sasha’s car, and Sasha tries to swerve.

Tomorrow, Portia says she thought she and Curtis were in this together; Laura comes bearing glad tidings; Spencer asks someone for a favor; and Carly calls Willow and Michael, telling them to come to the ER right away.

The Real Housewives of Orange County – The Reunion Part 2

We come in on Shannon ranting that she thought she’d done things for Gina that were above and beyond. Then Gina had the audacity to ask if she had any friends. That’s a cruel, egotistical, arrogant thing to say to anyone. It means that Shannon isn’t nice; it’s mean spirited. Gina says, what was mean spirited was watching John. We flash back to him saying, f*** Gina, and they’re done with her. Shannon says, it was a buildup, and Gina says, of what? She never said anything about him. Shannon says, he was defending her, and Emily suggests he can do that without being so nasty. Gina says, no man she knows would act like that. Shannon shouldn’t let him speak about her friends like that. Shannon says, it was an accumulation of her telling him things. Andy reminds everyone that Shannon said Gina had an inflated ego, and the group lets her in on what put a pin in it really means. She says she learned something today. Shannon says Gina and Emily were laughing about her and it was hurtful, and Gina says, she and Emily joke a lot. Shannon says, they don’t have to walk on eggshells; she’s tough. Andy says, she’s not seeming so tough right now, and she says, when you knock her down, she gets up. She admits she and Gina do have fun, and Gina says she jokes about everyone. If it bothers Shannon, she can work on it. Shannon apologizes for John, still justifying his behavior by saying it was out of love for her. Andy says, now he’s going to put pin in it.

Next is Noella versus everybody. We flash back to her feuds with Jen, Gina, Emily, and Heather. Andy points out that she doesn’t seem to have any problems with Shannon, and Noella says, Shannon was a constant support. Andy says, Noella and Jen were at odds right away, and Noella says, Jen fired Emily up about Nicole. Emily says, that’s not true; Nicole fired her up. A viewer wonders what the problem was with Jen tagging Noella on Instagram, and Noella trash talks Jen’s MedSpa.  Heather says she barely knew Noella, and Noella called her a bitch and a narcissist. Doesn’t Andy have pictures of himself in his studio? Andy says he does, but he is a narcissist. Noella says, Heather went out of her way to make her out to be a liar, and Heather says, she is a liar.

Noella says, Nicole told her that she’d been botched, and had a bad experience with Terry. She said she did follow through with the lawsuit, and got money. Heather explains, when you get a settlement, it’s recorded with the California Medical Board; there’s no hiding it. Andy says he’d have to assume Heather wouldn’t have tried to get Nicole on the show, and Terry would have remembered. Noella says she wondered how Heather didn’t know about it, and Heather says, Noella also claimed she was slamming people against walls. She never did that. Noella says, Heather never told her that she didn’t do it, and then gets beamed back up to her planet, since apparently, she’s not on this one. Heather tells Andy, roll the video, and we flash back to Heather saying exactly that. Andy tells them, he hates to say it, but if that had happened, it would have been on the show. Heather says, Noella perpetuated it all season, and Noella says, everyone told her about it. Realizing he’ll never get a straight answer from Noella on this, Andy moves on to the card game. A viewer wonders, what’s the big deal? and Heather says, they actually have the game, but Max opened it in front of everyone. Noella asks why Heather let her do that, and Heather tells Noella, don’t talk her about parenting. She’s not standing over Max every minute. She says, Noella seems very offended by the word pornography, and Noella says, it wasn’t pornography, but Heather says, Merriam-Webster might disagree. A viewer thinks Emily went too far in saying all Noella talked about was her divorce, and Emily says, Jen wanted to talk, and it seemed inappropriate in the moment. We flash back to that, and Emily says, Noella wouldn’t give Jen her moment, and that all roads didn’t lead to Noella’s divorce. Noella says she cringes looking back, and wonders who this person is. She was seeing her life fall apart, and not knowing if she was making the right decisions. She knows she leaned hard on everyone, but there was genuine love, and she’ll always appreciate that. Andy asks, if she had it to do again, would she do it differently? but she says, if she knew what was going to happen, she probably wouldn’t have done the show. Emily asks if she thinks she’d still be married, and Noella says, she doesn’t know, but she wouldn’t have put this all out there.

They talk about nonsense stuff, like Emily’s turkey sandwich in the sauna. A viewer asks who Jen thinks has had the best work done, and Jen says, Shannon looks good. Shannon says she had a facelift six weeks ago, and the surgeon said he’d never taken off more skin on a patient. Everyone talks about what they’ve had done, and Heather says, you should do whatever makes you happy and confident.

We go down Shannon Memory Lane, and Andy says, she’s been embracing life as a single mom and businesswoman. He asks what advice she’d give herself back when she joined the show, and she says, there is life beyond. You can succeed on your own. Andy asks Heather how Shannon has changed, and Heather says, Shannon is confident and independent. She gives 100% love to her family, and she’s doing amazing. Andy says, Shannon really went through it, and asks how her relationship with David is. She says, non-existent; nothing has changed. She never even runs into him. We flash back to Sophie saying that she doesn’t feel like she deserves the wonderful boyfriend she has, and Shannon says she feels guilty, but thought she was doing the right thing at the time by staying in the marriage. Now Sophie says she knows how it’s supposed to be. A viewer asks about John avoiding talk of marriage, and Shannon says, they do talk about it, but they’re not in a rush. She has two kids still at home. Andy asks if she does want to get married again, and she says, absolutely. Andy asks who everyone’s celebrity hall pass is, and Shannon says she’s never thought of it. Emily says, Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy; Noella says, Janet Jackson, because she’s a classic; Heather doesn’t have one, which I find hard to believe, but maybe she’s just too tired; and for Jen, it’s Sean Penn. Gina says, Jimmy Valens, and I’m like, who? I look this up, and it’s synonymous with Ritchie Valens, which doesn’t seem like a fair hall pass, since he passed away in 1959. I mean, how is that a hall pass?

Andy asks, like her husband’s shirts, was something in Jen’s marriage missing? We flash back on all the memories of Mr. Puppers, Jen, and Ryne, including the HUGE discussion about his name. Andy asks what Ryne actually does for a living, and Jen says, he owns a successful rental company. They’re income is becoming equalized now. For them, it was almost therapeutic watching the show. Andy says, some couples have credited it for helping their marriage, since they could see things they didn’t like on camera. Jen says, being on the show was somewhat of an issue with Ryne, since she had problems getting him to talk about emotions off camera. Heather says, she’d spoken to him on the phone, and he was personable and outgoing, and she thought the cameras were a lot. Emily says she thinks men have a hard time with the cameras in general, but Heather says, not Terry. A viewer asks if Jen is worried that Ryne loves Mr. Puppers more than her, and I say, of course he does. Look at Mr. Puppers. Who wouldn’t? Jen says she even said it on the show; if he treated her like the dog, that would be good.  Andy says, Jen was engaged seven times before Ryne. Why was this different? She says, it was literally love at first sight. When he moved out, they were able to do a reset; it was helpful. Emily says she has a good feeling about them, and Jen says she’s hopeful. There’s been peace and laughter, and she wants to be in it again.

Andy moves on to the trip to Aspen, and the epic bear fail. I notice that there’s way too much sparkly eyeshadow on these women. They talk about the competition for rooms. I space out, or maybe not, since topics can change in an instant with no segue whatsoever. Noella says there was a period where no one texted her, and Heather says, it was probably because Noella was going around lying about her. Noella says she had genuine relationships with the others, and Heather was being controlling. Everyone talks at once, and Andy yells, all right! Not able to control herself, Heather insists on being allowed to button it. Sorry, Heather. Button it is not going to happen. She says, when the cameras came down for the final time, Noella approached her, and asked if they could start over, but it was too late. Andy wants to talk about the karma comment, and Heather tells him, Noella said it first; she didn’t say it out of the blue. Noella whines that she was ganged up on, and Heather says she feels horrible about what Noella went through. She doesn’t wish it on anyone, but Noella said it, and she slung it back. Shannon says, she understands where everyone is coming from, but after the bear scare failed, she thought about what Noella was going through. It had been less than a week since her father passed away. Noella says, four days, and Shannon says, it’s not a sh*t happens thing. Noella says, she was her father’s only child. His career took off when she was born, and her dad went to L.A. Her mom had just graduated law school, practiced in Palm Springs, and they saw each other occasionally. Later, she’d mail him her report cards, but they’d come back unopened. She learned to play golf so they could have a relationship. In their last conversation, he gave her advice about being Black in the industry. He was glad she was representing on the show. Jen says, despite their differences, her heart went out to Noella when her father passed. Jen had to take the MCAT the day after her father died. Andy moves on to happier stuff, and we flash back to the women doing their song, Whatever I Want. He asks Heather what Richard Marx thought, and Heather says, he loved it. She was excited he and Daisy Fuentes let them use it. Gina says she was embarrassed, and Jen says, it was cheesy, but Emily says, they owned the cheesiness.

Andy wants to end on a super positive note, and asks everyone to say something positive about somebody they didn’t know before. Emily says she hadn’t known Heather, and it was positive being with someone who put such effort in getting to know her, her husband, and children. It was nice of Heather to take such a true interest in her life. Heather thanks everyone for welcoming her back, and hopes Noella gets a chance to know her, and she gets to know Noella. Noella says she would welcome that. Noella thought of the group as a sisterhood, and she and Jen were the sisters that fought the most. But she has genuine respect for Jen living with chronic pain, and admires how strong she must be to do what she does. She’s had a lot of hardships, but you could never tell because she’s strong and in control. Jen says she appreciates it. If drama was a drug, Noella would be a pharmacy (ha-ha!). She doesn’t always agree with the drama, but appreciates Noella’s enthusiasm. Shannon says she’s proud of Gina to have withstood what she did with her marriage. It shocked her to see such an amazingly clean orderly household with six children, and she was excited for Gina’s business venture. Gina says, back at her. Shannon is incredibly resilient, and gone through a hell of a lot as a grown woman. She had to redesign her entire life. She was also the first person Gina met with the ability to push all her buttons. Heather says, Emily is an incredible mom, and Jen says, Emily has impressive articulation.

Andy says, it’s the end of a great season – RHOC’s Sweet 16. To celebrate, they’re having champagne and pineapple. The drinks come out, and all I can think is, wow. They’re served in literal pineapples that are also crammed with stuff like noisemakers and wind pinwheels. I think, good luck finding the straw. Heather tells them to stand tall, wear a crown, and be a princess. Or queen. Or something.

🗯 I don’t even know what to say about this season except it’s time I can’t get back.

🌷 Spring Is Sprung…

Stop in tomorrow for soap and a cuppa tea. Until then, stay safe, stay being all that you can be, whether or not you’re in the Army, and stay not giving up if you think a bridge can be rebuilt.