What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Frank tosses Dex into Sonny’s office, and Dex says, watch it. Sonny says he’ll take it from here, and Frank leaves. Dex asks what that was about. Is that the way Sonny congratulates someone on a job well done? Sonny says, this is how he deals with liars.

Willow says, this is too much, but Michael says, she’s going to be a nurse. It’s a big deal, and he wants to celebrate her future. He asks, what’s wrong? and she says she just has a lot on her mind. She really needs… Everyone comes in, and yells, surprise! Wiley holds up a sign that says, Go Mommy.

Carly brings the cake through the restaurant, balancing her phone on the box. The phone slides off, and when she puts the box on the bar to pick it up. Nina hands it to her, saying, can I help you? but Carly says she’s good. Nina says she’s sorry, but it looks like Carly was in the kitchen. The kitchen is for management and employees, not customers. Carly says, really? Is that how it’s going to be?

Portia asks where Jordan went, and Curtis tells her, Taggert said she went on a mission. He’s guessing it ends at Windymere. Ava has come out of the courtroom and stops to listen. He says, Jordan is hellbent on finding Esme Prince, and Ava dashes off.

Jordan tells Nikolas that she’s following up on their discussion about Esme, when Victor joins them, and says he’s sorry, but now is not a good time. Nikolas says he’ll call her and set up a meeting, but she says, that wasn’t a request. She holds up a warrant, and tells him that she has a warrant to search the premises for any evidence that may lead to Esme Prince’s whereabouts. So how does he want to do this; the easy way or the hard way?

Cameron gets to the courthouse, and hugs Josslyn. He says, it’s so great that Trina was exonerated. Where is she? Josslyn says, she’s still in the courtroom. She’s tying up some loose ends, so to speak.

Inside the courtroom, Spencer says he’s so relieved Trina was exonerated, and she tells him, if he’d said that to her a couple days ago, she wouldn’t have believed him. Is he finally going to tell her what changed? He says, everything, and she says, starting with what? He says, starting with her.

Dex says he did exactly what Sonny asked. He talked to the head juror, and made sure he knew it was in his best interest to acquit Trina Robinson. It’s not his fault the DA threw out the charges against her. Sonny says, Trina Robinson’s charges were dropped, and Dex asks if that isn’t what this is about. Sonny says, no. This is about the lies Dex has been feeding him. When Dex came to him, Dex wanted a position in Sonny’s organization. He was telling Sonny about his war record, but he left out that he left the military on bad terms. So he had his people digging, and it turns out Dex was kicked out after he assaulted a superior officer. So tell him, why should he expect Dex to obey the chain of command when it comes to his organization?

Carly tells Nina, Olivia gave her permission to pick up the cake. They’re hosting a graduation party for Willow by the pool. Nina says she didn’t realize, and Carly says, Olivia is half-owner. She doesn’t have to run everything by Nina. Nina says, that’s not what she meant, and Carly says, but Nina couldn’t wait to lord her new power over her, huh? Nina says, absolutely not, but she does have the right to ask. She’s not interested in banning Carly from the hotel, if that’s what she’s implying. Carly says, it’s not, and Nina can’t. Nina’s partner is one of Carly’s best friends, and she can go anywhere she wants. Nina says, Carly’s not the only one. She doesn’t like Carly either, but she’s trying to make peace with the fact they’re going to be in each other’s lives now that she and Sonny are together. Carly says, it’s official, huh? It took Nina a year and a half, but she finally got what she wanted.

Wiley runs to Willow, and says, his mommy is a nurse who saves people’s lives. He and Willow hug, and Brook says, they’ve been rehearsing that line all day. Wiley is proud of everything Willow’s accomplished, and she gave him the coaching. Olivia says, they’re so proud of her. She’s going to have this great career for the rest of her life. Willow says she’s sorry. She thinks she’s having some morning sickness, at night. She laughs, excuses herself, and jets. Brook wonders if it’s something they said, and Michael asks her to look after Wiley, and follows Willow.

Nikolas says he woudn’t dream of interfering with the police investigation. Trust him. He wants Esme found as much as anyone. Jordan walks in with the officers, and says, she guesses they haven’t heard; the charges against Trina Robinson have been dismissed. The man who sold the black market phone that recorded the revenge porn testified that he sold the phone to Esme. That makes Esme Prince a person of interest for recording the revenge porn video of Josslyn Jax and Cameron Webber. Victor says, no wonder she left town then, and Nikolas says he wishes they had more information, but nobody knows what happened to Esme. She says, they’d like to start their search in Esme’s bedroom, and Victor says, of course (🍷). He’ll show the officers the way. They leave, and we see the suitcase behind the bushes. Nikolas says he’ll leave Jordan to her search, but she says she’d like to ask him a few questions first.

Spencer tells Trina, he’s been waiting for this moment for so long, but now that it’s here, he’s strangely tongue tied. Portia and Curtis come in, and Portia says, they’re about to head home. So many people want to wish Trina well, they’ve invited some friends and family over to the house. Joss and Cam are welcome to come. Trina says, sounds great. She’ll meet them there. Portia asks if she’s sure, and Trina says she’s fine. She knows what she’s doing. They exchange I love yous, and Portia leaves with Curtis. Trina asks, what happened with Spencer and the cops? and he says he’s going back to prison, but not to Spring Ridge this time; Pentenville… for three months. She says, no, and he says, it’s what he deserves, but it was worth it to help her out. She says, if she ran out of options, she was going to testify she was with him at the cemetery when the sex tape came out. She never expected him to testify about it first. He was in the clear completely, but chose to risk his own future to help her out. And all this time, he’s been protecting Esme, until he did a 180 and helped her. She doesn’t get it. Why did he do that?

Carly says, they decided to celebrate at her hotel, and Nina says, just a little reminder. It’s no longer Carly’s hotel; it’s hers. Carly tells her, don’t get too comfortable. It’s Nina’s hotel for now. Nina says, Carly doesn’t have a job, so she doesn’t have an income. Nina imagines it will be a few decades until Carly is in a position to try and buy back her half of the MetroCourt. Carly asks if Nina is taunting her, even though she started it. Is Nina gloating about her big win? It must be refreshing to show her true colors, because the gracious act she turns on for Sonny must be exhausting. Nina says, what’s refreshing is seeing this change of pace, now that Carly has lost Sonny and her business. So now when she decides to spit her venom, she has to aim up, not down.

Michael finds Willow crying on the terrace, and asks, what’s wrong? She says she guesses it’s the hormones. She’s feeling a bit overwhelmed about the graduation earlier today, and the pregnancy. Her emotions are all out of whack. She just needs a moment to get it together. He offers to wait with her, but she says she’d feel better if he went back, and made sure the guests don’t think she’s ditching them. She is the guest of honor after all. He says he’ll see her soon, and goes back inside.

Nikolas says he’s already told Jordan everything he knows. He’s not seeing the need for a return visit. She says, standard procedure. Now that Trina’s been freed, and the suspicion has shifted to Esme, they all want the same thing – answers. And justice for the victims Josslyn and Cameron. So let’s start with the basics. When was the last time he saw Esme? He says he already told her; a few days ago. She says, any indication of where she went? and he says, no. She asks if Esme could be staying with family, but he says, as far as he knows, she doesn’t have any family; at least none that are close. Her adoptive parents are deceased. She says, to clarify, he was the last person to see Esme at Windymere, when Ava walks in and says, no. She was.

Spencer tells Trina, he so gets it. He’s sure his testimony at her trial makes zero sense, but he promises that if she just hears him out… Rory walks in, and asks if it’s a bad time, but Trina says, no. He’s just in time. She tells Spencer that she’s truly sorry he’s going back prison, and so glad he’s finally opened his eyes to see the kind of person Esme was all along. She just wishes it had happened sooner. For her sake, and for his. She takes Rory’s hand, and leaves with him. Cameron asks why Spencer didn’t tell Trina the truth.

As they walk into one of the small lounges, Nina says, at least this is more private, but Carly says she doesn’t know what they have left to talk about. Nina and Sonny are together, and she can’t think of two people who deserve each other more; who’ve convinced themselves that they’re heroes in their own stories. Nina says she’s not going to waste her breath asking Carly to be civil, but can they just not engage with each other? Not for Sonny’s sake, but for the children’s? For Donna? Carly says she’s stopping Nina right there. Nina is never going to have a relationship with Donna – ever. Nina’s not going to see her or spend time with her. Nina is going to be as big a factor in Donna’s life as she is in Wiley’s, and that’s non-existent.

Sonny says, Dex purposely misled him. Did Dex really think Sonny wasn’t going to find out why he left the military? Dex says he didn’t care. What Sonny found out was true, but he’d do it again in a heartbeat. Sonny says, Dex has two minutes to explain it, and Dex says, he was the youngest of three brothers. His brothers used to smack him around; he doesn’t mean roughhousing. His parents wrote it off as boys will be boys, but it wasn’t. He must have been sent to the hospital at least five times. Sonny says, what about his parents? and Dex says, they did nothing. That’s why he joined the military; to get away from them as fast as he could. He did a tour in Afghanistan; Sonny can see that on his record. When he got sent to Germany, it was supposed to be an upgrade, away from the front lines. Families lived there, including his superior officer. He was a complete jerk, toxic to his soldiers. Apparently, he was even worse to his own family. He had a reputation for smacking his wife around; he did the same thing to his kids. The really messed up thing? Everyone whispered about it, but no one did anything. Until one day, Dex did. He doesn’t know if he got the son of a bitch to stop, but at least his family knew someone tried. When he was a kid, he was too small to step up to his brothers, but as a man, he could step up for that family.  

Carly says, Nina can have as much fun as she wants with Sonny. Donna’s not included. Now she’s going back to celebrate Willow’s graduation with the rest of her family. She doesn’t know if Nina’s heard, but it’s expanding. Nina says she’s heard. Congratulations. And just for the record, she’s not trying to hone in on Carly’s family. Carly has made it perfectly clear she’s not welcome, especially now that Willow has replaced and eliminated her daughter from Wiley’s life.  Carly flashes back to finding out Nina is Willow’s mother, and tells Nina, no one did that to her. She did it to herself. And it’s a shame Nina doesn’t realize, she deserves everything she’s getting. Carly takes her cake, and walks off.

Michael apologizes for the guest of honor’s abrupt exit. It’s just that with the baby on the way and graduating nursing school, she’s a little overwhelmed right now. She’ll be back. Drew says, they’ll celebrate when Willow is ready. Brook takes Wiley to get something to drink, and Carly comes in with the cake. Olivia says, please tell her that Carly didn’t run into Sonny and Nina on their date night, and Carly says, just Nina. Olivia says, unbelievable, and Carly says, Nina is welcome to him. She’s ready for what comes next in her life. She looks at Drew, and they smile at each other.

Willow reads about chemotherapy while pregnant on her phone. TJ comes out, and says, he thought he’d find her out here. Is she okay? She says she’s fine. She’ll rejoin the party soon. He says, if she wants to be alone, he’ll respect that, but he thinks he knows more about the possibilities going on in her head than anyone else. She says, they’re not a possibility anymore; it’s definite. Terry said the biopsy confirmed TJ’s theory. She has leukemia.

Nikolas says, Ava is home, and she says she sees they have company. Jordan says, Ava was at Trina’s trial. No doubt she understands how vital it is for them to find Esme. Ava says, nothing would make her happier than finding Esme, and seeing her pay for her crimes. She wishes they had more to tell Jordan. She does know that Esme was aware Oz Haggerty was a patient at General Hospital. Jordan says, is that it? and Ava says, she had a suitcase with her. She said she was going on a trip, but after Oz Haggerty’s testimony, she can only assume Esme was making a run for it while she could. If she could offer Jordan a little advice, she’d say, don’t underestimate that young woman. She’s sure Esme is planning on disappearing for a while. Jordan says, that’s why they’re gathering as much information as they can. Ava’s husband already said they could take a look around. Ava says, yes, of course (🍷). Be her guest. Jordan looks out the window, but doesn’t see the suitcase just a few feet away behind the shrubs.

Cameron asks what Spencer is doing. Trina doesn’t know the full story yet. Josslyn says she agrees Trina has the right to know the truth. Of course (🍷) it matters that he believed in Trina the whole time, but he still lied to Trina, and enabled Esme by not coming forward sooner. Spencer says he knows. He was trying to fix things, because he needed to be the one to save Trina, because… Josslyn says, because why? Because he couldn’t take responsibility for his own actions? Because he didn’t trust Trina? Spencer says, because he loves her, and Cameron says, if he means that, now is the time to tell Trina the truth.

In the hallway, Rory says he has something for Trina. He hopes it’s not too corny. He gives her a can of soda with a bow on it, and she says, it’s the same as the one he brought her in the interrogation room. He says, also known as the day they met, and she thanks him. She says, and for the record, it’s just the right amount of corny. He says he doesn’t want to step on her big celebration, but if she’s up for it, he’d like to see what the future has in store for her. No pressure if… She kisses him, as Spencer walks out. Aww, I feel sorry for him.

Olivia says, Carly is telling her that she’s just fine with Sonny and Nina living happily ever after, and Carly tells her, she never said she wanted them to be happy. She’s just saying she’s moved on. She’s at peace with what happened. So, next. Olivia says, so Carly is trying to tell her this peace after the divorce with Sonny has nothing to do with Drew? Carly tells her, stop. There’s nothing going on between her and Drew except friendship. Olivia says, and Carly is telling her that she’s never even thought about what it would be like to be more than friends. Carly says, no, that would be a really bad idea, and Olivia asks, why is that exactly? Carly flashes back to telling Drew that Nina isn’t Willow’s mother, and tells Olivia, Drew is a really good friend, and in a world where she doesn’t have Jason, she can’t risk losing another good friend. Olivia says, and yet, every time Carly talks about him, she gets a big silly grin on her face. Carly says she gets a big silly grin on her face because she’s finally at peace with what happened, and she’s so ready to move on with her life. Drew brings them drinks, and says, that’s a sentiment he can get behind. Cheers. They clink glasses.

TJ says he’s so sorry. He wishes his diagnosis was wrong. Willow says, who knows how much worse it could have been if he hadn’t trusted his instincts? From where she’s standing, she owes him one. At least now she knows what the issue is. He says, and she knows there are ways to fight this, right? and she starts to cry. She says, all of her options feel like they’re lose-lose situation right now, and he says, because she’s pregnant. She says, Britt and Terry explained there could be complications if she begins treatment in the first trimester. They didn’t get into specifics; she’s supposed to talk to both of them tomorrow. He says he’s not going to weigh in. Neither oncology or OB are his fields of expertise, but she can’t have a better team than Britt and Terry. She says she knows in a lot of ways she’s lucky. It’s just that she and Michael were so happy when they found out she was pregnant. TJ says he knows. She didn’t want to worry Michael until she got a diagnosis, and that makes sense. But now that she knows what’s at stake, she’s going to tell him, isn’t she?

Curtis says, it’s important that Portia and Trina celebrate this win. Feel  the joy. Portia laughs, and he says, she and Trina have been waiting to exhale for months now. So no more fears; no more worries. She’s earned this victory lap. She says, so did he. He’s been there with her every single step of the way. And Oz wouldn’t have even been an option to testify if not for him and Marshall finding Oz. She owes him everything. He says, she doesn’t owe him anything. She’s his family, and he feels the same way about Trina. He knows Taggert is Trina’s father, but he’s going to love her just like she’s his.

Jordan’s phone rings, and she asks if they have a location. She says she’s on her way, and tells the officers, she’s ending the search. Let’s go. Nikolas asks, what’s going on? and she says she was just notified Esme posted a rant on social media trashing Trina’s acquittal. The post was geotagged with the south of France. Sounds like he and Ava were right. Esme managed to get out of town, but her anger got the better of her, and now they know how to track her. She needs to notify the authorities in France. She thanks Nikolas for his cooperation, and he says, of course (🍷). He’s happy to help. She says she’ll be in touch, and leaves with the officers. Ava closes the door, and says, what was that? Nikolas says, that was a close call. He goes outside, and pulls up the suitcase, telling Ava, if Jordan had looked on the terrace, she would have found the suitcase. They’re really lucky. Ava says, lucky? If Esme is posting on social media, she’s not dead. She’s very much alive, and could ruin their lives. Victor walks in, and says, he’s not so sure about that.

Trina asks if this makes her Rory’s girlfriend, and he says he doesn’t know. Does this make him her boyfriend? She suggests he walk her back to her place, and they’ll take it from there, and he says he likes that. They leave, and Spencer looks lonely. He goes back in, and Josslyn  says, that was quick. Cameron asks, how’d it go? and Spencer says he didn’t tell her – and he never will.

Ava tells Victor, she meant, if Esme has slipped up, and given her location away, then… The only thing that’s more dangerous than a sociopath, is a sociopath off their game. Victor says, give it up. He knows everything. She says, he does, and asks Nikolas, what the hell is wrong with him? Victor says, her husband is a terrible liar, and she says, doesn’t she know it. And he may think Esme being alive solves their problems, but it doesn’t. She’ll probably pin an attempted murder charge on Ava, now that she’s alive and well, and posting disgusting stuff online. Victor says, Esme didn’t post that; it was his handiwork. He took the liberty of reaching out to an old colleague. The two of them parted ways with the WSB on less than stellar terms, but he owed Victor a favor, and hacked into Esme’s MyFace page. Victor gave him a few juicy details, and he ran with it. Ava thanks him, and says she owes him one, but he says, let’s not open the bubbly quite yet. Those fake posts won’t hold up against much scrutiny, but they will buy them enough time to destroy the evidence. But none of that will matter if Ava and Nikolas don’t get on the same team. Ava says, he doesn’t know what he’s asking, and he says, if he’s learned anything over the years, it’s that nothing motivates forgiveness quicker than mutual jeopardy. Ava and Nikolas need to present a united front because, like it or not, they’re all in this together.

Trina brings Rory in the house, and says, they have company. Portia hugs her, and she asks, where’s dad? She thought he’d be here by now. Curtis says, Taggert’s out spreading the good news, and Portia says, he’s picking up a feast for them at the Port Charles Grill. Rory is more than welcome to stay and celebrate with them. Curtis says, Marshall is on his way, and Stella is coming. He’s going to text TJ, and see if he’ll join them. Portia says, unless all of this is too overwhelming for Trina, but Trina says, no; it’s perfect. Rory says he’s going to let her celebrate with her family. He’ll check in with her tomorrow. Trina says, he doesn’t have to go. He heard her mom; she invited him to join them. So please do. He says, that’d be great.

Spencer says, when he went out there, Trina was talking to Rory. They were kissing, and wondering if they should call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Cameron says, that’s because Trina doesn’t have all the facts yet, but Spencer says, Trina deserves to be happy. For God’s sake, he hasn’t been able to give that to her. All he’s given her are lies and grief. Is he supposed to step on her and Rory’s happiness? Mess with her head, and say, by the way, I have feelings for you too, then I’m off to prison for three months? Josslyn says, there’s no one happier about Rory and Trina than she is, but Spencer still owes Trina the truth. He asks, why does Trina need to know the truth? Why does she need to know that he’s always believed in her, and that he loves her? Don’t put that on her; it doesn’t matter. And they both need to promise they’re not going to tell her anything. Josslyn says she understands his point. They don’t want to put any more stress on Trina either, but Trina is her best friend, and she can’t promise to keep this from Trina forever. Spencer asks, but is it really going to make Trina happier to know the truth?

Dex tells Sonny, they offered him a discharge. The brass figured it would cause less of a stink, and prevent the authorities looking into how the officer treated his family. He took the deal and was out, but for a few brief seconds, he got to do the right thing, and he woudn’t change it for the world. Sonny says he can understand. Without going into gory details, what Dex said about his family violence, Sonny lived through it. But Dex still lied to him, and that’s unacceptable. Why should he trust Dex? Dex says, he never told Sonny that he should. He just said Sonny could count on him. Sonny says he’s not sure it’s that simple, no matter how sympathetic he is to Dex’s story, and Dex says, so that’s it? One strike and he’s out? Sonny says, that’s not it. What it means is, he needs time to think. Dex says, about what? and Sonny says, about whether Dex is worth the trouble. Dex takes the paper out of his pocket, and says, from Trina Robinson’s trial. In case it matters to see how the jury voted. He puts it on Sonny’s desk, and leaves.

Olivia says she needs some ice. It’s getting hot in here… She means warm… it’s getting muggy… She’s getting ice. Drew says, when he was setting up, he got a text from Mia asking for Carly’s information. She’s coaching at a retreat in Aruba, and thought Carly might be interested in going. Carly says, sounds perfect, especially with Trina’s trial being over. She doesn’t suppose Mia invited him too.

TJ thinks Willow might feel better if she talks to Michael about this, but she says she’s still processing all of this. She was about to tell Michael, when this party happened. He says, she’s not under any obligation to put on a happy face for the sake of the party. Don’t do that on their account. She says, she, Michael, and Wiley are due one last good night before everything gets shot to hell. This can keep quiet until after the party, after her follow-up. He says he can understand that, when his phone dings. He says, it’s from his Uncle Curtis; Trina’s verdict came in. Willow says, what is it? and he says, yes! It’s good news. The charges were dropped. She says, that’s amazing. She’s so glad someone got good news today. He says he can join his family later if she needs support, but she tells him, go. Be with his family. She’ll be fine, she promises. She thanks him, and says she lucked out making a friend like him. They hug, and Nina walks past the doorway, doing a doubletake when she sees them. Willow tells him to give everyone her best, especially Trina. He tells her, just remember, she’s got this. Nina watches.

Drew tells Carly that he’d love to go to Aruba, but he’s putting all his energy into getting Aurora into fighting shape. He hopes it doesn’t stop her from going, but she says, no. She’s definitely going to think about it. It’s a fresh start for her. She wants to see what’s out there. Willow comes in, and apologizes for keeping them waiting. Wiley says he’s proud of her, and Michael says, she’s worth it. Carly says she’s happy for Willow, and Drew picks Wiley up. Nina walks in, and back out again.

There’s a song part, and Sonny looks at the verdict. It’s hard to tell from his face, but I’m thinking, acquitted. There’s much happiness at Trina’s house. Josslyn arrives, and hugs Trina. Spencer and Cameron put their arms around each other’s shoulders, and walk out of the courtroom together. At the bottom of a cliff on the beach, Nikolas dumps the contents of Esme’s suitcase in a barrel. Victor nods, and Nikolas pours lighter fluid on it. He sets on fire, and he, Ava, and Victor watch it burn.

Tomorrow, Chase asks if Brook really believes in him; Elizabeth wishes everyone would stay out of her business; and Valentin asks what it will take for Victor to stand down.

The Most Awful People in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Still at Dorit’s party, LisaR says she didn’t think she’d end up crying, but she’s grateful it came. Dorit suggests they lighten the mood by singing Happy Birthday to Kyle. A cake with candles is brought in, and they sing. It’s awful. Can’t we rewrite that song? In Dorit’s interview, she says, they’ve had rage, tears, and laughter, and at this point, she’s looking for more laughter. PK tells Mauricio that he has a new real estate company based on crypto, and he’s a conceptual genius. He says, bow to the emperor of real estate, and Mauricio says he thought PK was the king of rock. PK says he likes it. LisaR thanks everyone for being with her in the moment. She and Sutton had a moment that triggered it, and she thinks there are deeper issues. I can tell you this, if any of my friendships got this complicated, I’d drop walk away. These women are like middle schoolers, with emotions all over the place, and way too much work. Sutton asks if the poor people outside the group, who look like they’re being held hostage, want to leave, and they can’t get out fast enough. Crystal says she heard her eating disorder was being talked about, and she’s been seeing a professional since she was 13. Kyle asks if Crystal thinks she’s seeing the right people, and Crystal says she’s spent hours interviewing people. In Erika’s interview, she says she hopes Crystal can effectively deal with her eating disorder, so she can enjoy life. Put this to bed and be done with it. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these women? Not to mention, Crystal has a husband who’s extremely supportive and rich. Crystal says she’s on the journey, and Garcelle asks if they have anything else to clean up. Sutton says she didn’t like being called a friend liability, and we flash back to that. She thinks of herself as a good friend. Something happened that she hasn’t told them about. She got a letter from an attorney about a lawsuit Tom and Erika are involved with. They thought she had some kind of information. In Sutton’s interview, she says, she received a letter from an attorney involved in one of the Girardis’ lawsuits, asking about information she doesn’t have. She’s not getting subpoenaed, and she’s not going to Chicago, although she’s quick to add, it’s a lovely city. She tells the group that she hired a litigator to answer questions, and in her interview, she says, attorneys are not cheap. You know who knows that? The Girardis. Erika says she knows what they asked, and we flash back to the Reunion when Sutton brought up a rumor about Tom’s business. Sutton says, Erika is looking at a lot of lawsuits, and was a liability to all of them last year. Erika says, it’s not her fault. She told Sutton to be quiet. We flash back to Erika threatening Sutton, and Dorit tells Sutton not to feel like she was targeted; she was the only one questioning Erika. Garcelle says, not true, and we flash back to Garcelle, Dorit, and Kyle all questioning Erika. Garcelle adds, and she’s not being Sutton’s bodyguard. Diana takes this as a segue, and says, Garcelle is the most guarded of the group. Garcelle wonders how they got here, and Diana says, it’s where they started, making no sense whatsoever. She says she likes Garcelle, but fells like she has to work extra hard for Garcelle’s friendship, but still doesn’t get anywhere. Garcelle always shuts her down. Garcelle says, when they said goodbye at Diana’s Christmas party, Diana said they’d gotten off on the  wrong foot. We flash back to that, and Garcelle says, Diana can’t claim she shuts her down when she was open in that conversation. Diana says she hasn’t seen Garcelle since then, and Garcelle says she hasn’t seen Diana either. In Garcelle’s interview, she asks when Diana tried to get to know her. Diana trashed her in a group text, and was a total bitch at her birthday party. If Diana wants to get to know her, she can google her. LisaR asks if Garcelle hears where Diana is coming from, and Garcelle asks, what does LisaR hear? LisaR says she thinks Diana is sad and in pain about what happened between her and Garcelle, while Diana sits there like she’s five and can’t speak for herself, which is odd, considering she’s so aggressive. Diana says she’d like know Garcelle better differently, and Garcelle says, ditto. Garcelle asks how LisaR feels about that, and LisaR says, good, but why did Garcelle have to say it like that? Garcelle says, that’s how LisaR said it, and LisaR thinks Garcelle is defensive. Garcelle asks why she’d be defensive. Tell her, since LisaR seems to know everything. LisaR says, fear, and Garcelle says, of what? LisaR says, Garcelle has to ask herself that question, like they’re on some contemplative version of The Twilight Zone. LisaR says, when you come from love, you don’t come defensive, and Garcelle says, LisaR telling her about coming from love is bullsh*t. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if LisaR is in a position to talk about coming from love, since she just screamed her head off at Sutton. You have to practice what you preach. Garcelle says, once in a while, she’d like to feel supported, and Kyle says she doesn’t know what’s happening, but she agrees with Garcelle. Mauricio comes over to the table, and says, they’re all out of their minds. He asks if they’re ready to go home, and Kathy says, take her out of here.

Rob asks Crystal, how was last night for her? and she says, it was fun. He says he saw LisaR screaming at the girls, and Crystal tells him about the women talking about her eating disorder. She’d posted that she was struggling, and they were controlling concerned. Rob says he was surprised she posted about it too, since she doesn’t always talk about it. Crystal says, the group wants her to get help, but she doesn’t want a timeline pushed on her. She doesn’t want do it to make them feel better, and she’s feeling pressured. Rob tells her not to let that be what she focuses on, and to focus on herself. She owes it to herself. He holds her while she cries, and she says she wants to be recovered, but doesn’t want pressure. In Crystal’s interview, she says, when someone assumes it’s easy, it makes her feel like she’s failing, but she isn’t; she’s trying. Kathy comes by, and Crystal admits she’s been crying. Kathy says, the girls love her, and are coming from a good place, but they’re not lawyers, doctors, or therapists. Crystal shouldn’t feel pressure to answer their questions. Tell them she’s working on her issue, and it’s between me, myself, and I.  

Kyle looks over her flowers and gifts. Mauricio opens a bottle of 1999 Dom, saying, it was the oldest he could find. He couldn’t find one her age. They toast, and Alexia gifts Kyle with a pair of roller skates, the disco version. Kyle skates around, and says she won races when she was growing up. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t remember a  time when there weren’t roller skates on her feet. She went to the same rink the casts of Different Strokes and the Facts of Life, and the Jacksons went. Farrah and Alex join them, and in her interview, Kyle says, she was intimidated when she met Mauricio’s family. They were anti Kyle and Mauricio, especially his grandparents. She wasn’t Jewish, she was divorced with children, and an actress. When she thinks about her daughters meeting someone, she doesn’t want them to feel that way. They  talk about the wedding, and Farrah thinks it will be in the fall. In her interview, Kyle says, she remembers her wedding process. So many people were giving their two cents, and driving her crazy. Her family was Catholic, and couldn’t understand why they had to wear yarmulkes. She didn’t want so many weighing in. Boy, I understand that. I wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. People said, you can’t do that. I said, watch me, and did.

Erika and LisaR go to lunch, and LisaR talks about the shoot she and Harry did for People’s Couples Issue. She tells Erika, it’s a day by day thing. She didn’t expect to have a breakdown, but it was probably important for her to get it out. Precipitating her hurt and pain is anger, and Sutton is her trigger. Maybe Erika’s too. She wonders why Sutton chose that moment to talk about the lawsuit, and Erika says she’d called Sutton a liability, and Sutton said Erika was. LisaR makes a big deal out of Sutton choosing to keep it, then throw it out in a public forum. Like 1) they don’t all do this, and worse, 2) it was really just the group, so not public, and 3) Garcelle had asked if there were any more problems to air. LisaR says she has moments of fun with Sutton, but then there are moments like that. At the end of the day, Sutton likes to poke the bear, and is her own worst enemy. She tells Erika that she’s having a 70s disco party for Rinna Beauty, and in LisaR’s interview, she says, the first one ended up in Chris’s backyard. Then they had a huge launch planned for this year, and covid rehit. You need to be creative in the time of covid. It’s basically the same people in a different venue.

Kyle meets Sutton for lunch, carrying a new Birkin. I just don’t see the charm of that bag. Talk about basic. Kyle says, Sutton threw everyone for a loop with the comment about Erika being a liability as a friend. Sutton says, she found Erika using that word ironic and hypocritical. In Kyle’s interview, she says she thought Sutton and Erika were going in a good direction, and Sutton drops that bomb. She’s stirring up sh*t. This, coming from the biggest sh*t stirrer of all. Sutton says, her attorney got a letter saying the attorney in the lawsuit wanted to call her as a third party witness. Erika is involved with so many different cases, she’s not saying which one it is, but Erika put them all in a bad position. She says she has a date, and Kyle suggests she give off vulnerable vibes. She wants to look like she wants to be taken care of, not like she wants to take care of someone. Yo, Kyle. 2022 is calling. Sutton admits she’s difficult, and Kyle says, especially when she’s arguing. Sutton says she likes to debate, and likes to know she’s right.

Everyone gets ready for LisaR’s party, and Erika yaps to her glam squad about doing a Jerry Hall homage. LisaR checks out the venue, and party planner Cheryl says, they have a fun photo booth, gifts, a dessert bar, and a bar. In LisaR’s interview, she says, Harry usually does it all, but she doesn’t have Harry here. She demands real lemons and limes, and says it like, 10,000 times. In her interview, LisaR says she went to Studio 54 one time; they had communal bathrooms. On a side note, Studio 54 is now a theater, and while I don’t think the bathrooms were ever designated as communal, the ladies room is fabulous. It has a sitting room with individual mirrored vanities. Although for the price of a theater ticket, they should have a fabulous bathroom. In Garcelle’s interview, she says she remembers Studio 54 from her modeling days. It was the place to be. Everybody was amazing. One night, she sat down, and they had coke on the table. She didn’t want to do it, but didn’t want to say no. She ended up spilling it, and the people were pissed, and said never mind. Thank God she didn’t have to do it. Ha-ha! That reminds me of Woody Allen sneezing in the coke in (I think) Annie Hall. Group photos are taken, and I hate the way these women scream when they see each other.

Kyle invites everyone to Aspen, and says, her house there is small, but there’s a house ten minutes from her that they can stay at. Diana says she’ll stay at a hotel, and in her interview, she says she’s a great hostess, but not a great guest. She’s demanding, and feels like she’s saving everybody stress. Dancers Forrest and Victoria come out on stage, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, nothing beats Melissa Etheridge, but it’s cute they have the Solid Gold dancers. She, Garcelle, Kyle, and Dorit get on stage and dance.

Garcelle asks Kathy what her and Rick’s secret is, and Kathy says, having the right people around, and not allowing outside influences. He’s an old-fashioned Catholic whose parents have been married a long time, and he had to be on his best behavior. He told her that, if you get caught doing the wrong thing  today, you get canceled. Kyle asks how Sutton is feeling since they spoke after Dorit’s dinner. We flash back to that, and Kathy tries to interrupt, asking Kyle if they’re going out after this. Kyle is like, um… we’re talking, and Kathy finally gets the hint. Sutton says, she was making a point about Erika calling her a liability. Kyle doesn’t know what that means, and Sutton says she doesn’t either. No surprise, Kyle shouts over to Erika, and asks what she meant. Erika says, Sutton is a hindrance to the rest of the group in making friendships. Sutton asks Garcelle if she’s a hindrance, and Garcelle says, not at all. Erika says, Sutton is a hindrance in their relationships with Garcelle, because Garcelle will see them through Sutton’s eyes. In Garcelle’s interview, she says, this doesn’t all have to do with Sutton. If she saw Erika treat anyone the way she treated Sutton, it would make her pause. Dorit says, Sutton saying Erika had a lot of lawsuits was hurtful, and LisaR says, it was mean. Sutton says, LisaR never has her back, and LisaR tells Sutton to have her own back. Kyle says something about the Toothless and Homeless charity [sic], and there’s a whole thing about the name again. Dorit scolds them for laughing, but even I can’t help laughing. Kyle says, the name is not amazing, but they do amazing work. Every time someone says the name, it’s different (it’s Homeless Not Toothless), and in their interview, a producer asks for the name, but none of them can get it right. Sutton suggests maybe renaming the organization. Kathy says she’s sorry, but she’s worked with the homeless and the toothless. Then she tells Garcelle, it should be given another name. For who knows what reason, Kyle says, LisaR had a moment of strong feelings about Sutton, and in Sutton’s interview, she says, LisaR keeps saying she forgives Sutton and their friends. Clearly that’s not true, and LisaR keeps doing the backpedal. LisaR says, if it’s supposed to work out, it will. If she loves someone one minute, and is angry the next, she’s going to cut herself some slack. She has the right to work out her grief. Yeah, she does, but not at the expense of others. Is she stupid or just that self-centered? Sutton says she can be a loose cannon, but she’s a colt. I have no clue what she means, and oddly enough, no one asks. She says she doesn’t want to take away from the fact she was making a point… She should have said what she said… She gets confused, and Erika says, and she has a drinking problem. Looking at Garcelle, she says, they’ll get to that later.

Diana asks if Garcelle has a drinking problem, and Garcelle laughs and says, no. Erika says, neither does she, even though Garcelle tried to push it. Garcelle says she cited instances, and Erika says, three. Garcelle tried to push a false narrative. Garcelle tells Erika, what she said was that Erika needed to figure out her medication and drink ratio, and in her interview, she says, just because you don’t like the narrative, doesn’t mean it’s false. Erika asks if Garcelle was trying to be helpful, and Garcelle tells her, she’d said she was worried about Erika. Erika says, Garcelle is the last person she’d discuss her problems with. The ones closest to her would have noticed and said something. I think that’s highly doubtful, but okay. Garcelle says she didn’t suggests they get together and talk about Erika, and we flash back to Garcelle expressing her concern to Kyle and Dorit. Erika says, it does seem like Garcelle wants to make her look bad, but Garcelle says – wait for it – she doesn’t have to. Erika can do that on her own. Erika says, Garcelle is making herself look like a liar, like she has an ulterior motive, and wants Erika to have a problem. Garcelle says, Erika having a problem doesn’t change her life, and Erika says, it’s her life to destroy or build. In her interview, Garcelle says, it’s Erika’s prerogative if she wants to blow up her life. Dorit says, when she asked if Garcelle was concerned about Erika, Garcelle yelled, don’t be Kyle! Garcelle says, Dorit is exaggerating, and Kyle asks, what’s wrong with being Kyle? Kathy says, they should lift each other up with good conversation (she asks a lot), and Dorit says, they need to have real conversations. Kyle picks this time to say, Erika and Sutton need to start over. Sutton says she’s going to call Erika, but Erika says, please don’t. Kyle asks if Erika doesn’t want to have more clarity about the relationship, and Kathy says she thinks everyone is all good. She tells Garcelle that she got snapped at about the Homeless and Toothless organization.

Next time, LisaR looks at some of Lois’s stuff; the Aspen trip happens; Kyle asks the Ouija board if they’ll be able to work out their issues and have a good time (Magic 8 Ball says, are you out of your mind?); Garcelle says she was hurt that Erika called her a liar, and they don’t have to be friends. I love Garcelle.

🗯 I have to admit, this week’s episode was somewhat amusing. I couldn’t keep up with the homeless/toothless thing, but I was laughing pretty hard. I’ve also come to the conclusion that both LisaR and Erika have sociopathic tendencies. They’re not on the Robert Chambers side of the spectrum, but enough that they’re… what’s that word? Oh yeah. A liability.

🏂 Electric Sliding On Out…

Feel free to join me tomorrow for a delve into soap and a look at some Charm. Until then, stay safe, stay not making promises you can’t keep, and stay practicing what you preach.