What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Laura asks that question that’s only asked in movie and TV weddings; if anyone can show just cause why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace. Everyone laughs, and Portia flashes back to Jordan telling her to let Curtis know Trina might be his daughter before the wedding.

Stella reads from the Bible, speak every man truth with his neighbor for we are members one with another. She flashes back to telling Jordan that Curtis and Portia’s affair would line up with how old Trina is. There’s a knock on the door, and she opens it to Jordan.

Heather slips into Ryan’s room, and says, evening, grandpa. She tells him, it’s only the most romantic day of the year, and gives him a heart she made out of construction paper that says Happy Valentine’s Day on it. She says, from mee-maw. It’s not his only gift. He asks if it’s chocolate covered strawberries, but she says, something much sweeter; a way out for all four of us.

Outside the pub, Dante teases Sam about driving on the wrong side of the road. They peek inside the pub, and Sam says, what if Maggie isn’t a drinker? Dante says, hopefully, someone who knows her is, and they go inside. A woman asks if she can help them, and Dante says, they’re counting on it.

Laura says, as per tradition, she’ll pose the same question of Curtis and Portia. Do either of them know any reason why they should not be joined in holy matrimony? Portia looks at Trina, but doesn’t say anything, and Laura says, let’s get these two hitched. She reads the wedding vows, and they both say, I will. She asks the guests if they’ll do their best to support Portia and Curtis in their new union, and they say they will. Another part of a wedding I’ve never seen or heard of. Laura says, surrounded by love and support. They’re truly blessed.

Stella warns Jordan that what she has might be contagious, and Jordan says, diagnosis? Stella says, second guessing herself, and Jordan says she’ll take the risk. She sees someone’s been drawing comfort from the Good Book, and Stella says, trying to anyway. Not much success. She wonders if she’s doing the right thing, staying away from the wedding, or is hiding out just plain cowardly? Jordan says, Stella Henry is no coward. She loves her nephew and wants him to be happy.

Heather tells Ryan that she made the heart in arts and crafts. They wouldn’t let her use scissors, so she had to improvise. She pulls out a homemade knife, and he says, she’s all heart. I love these two. She says he’s going to owe her huge when they blow this joint, and he asks, who’s the fourth? She says, Esme’s baby – duh. He has to work on his grandfathering skills when they hit the road. He says, it sounds like she has it all figured out, and she says, down to the last detail. He asks if their daughter is on board, but Heather avoids the question, and he grabs her arm, saying, Esme doesn’t know, does she?

Dante says, two of your finest ales, and the woman says, that’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it? He says, hers, and she says, two of her favorite ales coming right up. She asks what brings them to her village. It’s not one of those fancy tourist sites. Sam says, they’re drawn to faraway places, and she says, then they’ve come to the right spot. She serves them, and they take a sip, declaring it delicious. She asks if there’s anything else she can help them with, and Dante says, they’re looking for a friend of a friend. She asks if the friend has a name, and Sam says, Maggie Fitzgerald.

Laura says, Portia and Curtis want to say a few words to each other, and suggests Curtis start. He takes Portia’s hands, and says, my love, it’s been a long and winding road with us. First, we were together, then they were apart. Thankfully, now we’re back together, and I don’t doubt that journey took a toll on us, and others, but some of those others have blessed us, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. What I’ve learned about love ain’t always pretty, and certainly not easy, but nothing worth having ever is. But this – he looks around – this is everything. He vows to love her with all his heart, to give her all he has, and all he is, to make their lives and the lives of the people they treasure better. This is his vow to her. Laura says, Portia’s up.

Portia says, you mentioned a long and winding road. I know it well. I thought I’d be traveling that road with my daughter, and she and my work was all that I would ever need, and I was fine with that, but then you came back into my life and literally saved my life, and Trina’s, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. Your courage, your kindness, your conviction – all of it – literally leaves me breathless. No one can make me laugh like you do, or cry like you do – in a good way, in the best possible way. You make me want to do and be better, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. You’re part of me, and I can’t imagine a world without you in it. That’s… that’s why I… She looks around, and stammers. Curtis asks, what is it?

Stella tells Jordan, they’re damned if they do, and damned if they don’t. She’s terrified that, no matter how this plays out, Curtis’s heart is going to be broken. Jordan says, maybe temporarily, but she’s forgetting Curtis loves Trina. He might be shocked if it turns out she’s his daughter, but once that settles, he’ll be thrilled. Stella says, that blessing comes with a price. He’ll realize Portia’s been lying to him for decades. Jordan says, Portia was looking out for Taggert. The man adores Trina, and has been an amazing father to her. Stella says she understands that. Telling the truth has the potential to upend a lot of lives. Jordan says, once Portia and Curtis got back together, Trina was going through so much, and Stella says, maybe it wasn’t the time then, but once they decided to join their lives together and be a family? She keeps praying about this, but she doesn’t know if prayer is enough.

Heather says Ryan is a handy one-handed man, and puts the knife to his throat. He laughs, and she says, they’ll be told when the time is right. Can they please leave the family’s paths for the road trip? He says, every law enforcement agency from here to Alaska will be looking for them, and she says, but they’ll be looking for three escaped fugitives. Not a happy family cruising in their RV, listening to the radio. Can he picture this? He says, no, and she asks why he’s being so negative. He says, Esme has kind of outgrown a baby seat, but Heather says, they’ll be needing one of those for the RV. He says, she’s an adult, pregnant woman who’s lost her memory. Does she really think Esme will let herself be thrown into the back of an RV? Heather says, he’s the one who said she’s got it all figured out, and he says, then tell him the plan. They can’t be too careful, especially with that detective and his girlfriend trying to track down Esme’s nanny. She says she doubts Ryan is going to be doing the driving, so why doesn’t he sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride?

Sam says, they’re not there to make trouble for Maggie, and Dante says, just the opposite. Maggie was this person’s nanny. Sam says, there was this family she used to work for, and they said she moved to this village. The woman says she recalls a woman who used to work as a nanny, but her name was Marjorie. She only came for trivia nights on Thursdays. She was fantastic at that, but she stopped showing up, so they figured she’d moved on. Sam says, maybe she left a clue as to where she was going. It’s really important they find her. A woman she once cared for, Esme, is in trouble. Dante says, Esme Prince. Did Marjorie ever mention her?

Portia looks at Trina, who says, it’s okay, then she looks around. She tells Curtis that she’s sorry. It’s just hitting her all over again that she’s not just marrying him; she’s marrying him and his beautiful family. He says, they’ll be her family too, and she says, and hers will be his. That road doesn’t stop here. All of them travel together. He says, together, and puts the ring on her finger, pledging to love her today, tomorrow, and always. Finn looks at Elizabeth, and smiles, and Portia says, with this ring, she pledges all her love. And like this ring has no end, neither does her love for him. She puts the ring on him, and Trina smiles at Spencer. Laura says, with vows and rings, they’ve pledged their love to each other. Therefore, by the power vested in her by the State of New York, and the blessing of all their family and friends, she pronounces them husband and wife. They know what to do. Everyone laughs, and Curtis says he certainly does. They kiss, and everyone applauds.

Heather says she almost forgot. His Valentine’s present. She hands him the knife, and he asks, what’s the catch? She says, is he always this suspicious? and he says, yes. She says, it’s her Valentine’s gift to him, but he has to keep it hidden before the big escape. He says, she does recall he’s supposed to be in a fugue state, unable to speak or move, let alone wield a weapon, but she says, once they’re outside these walls, he can be his old self again. He says, but if something goes wrong, and he’s caught holding a knife, and she’s caught holding Esme’s hand and claiming he hijacked them… Everyone needs a back-up plan, right?

The woman says, Marjorie never talked about her charges. Why are they so invested in this Esme person? Dante says, she’s in quite a bit of trouble back in the states, the kind that Maggie could be the key to get her out of. Sam says, she gets that the woman has no reason to trust them, but if Maggie knew what Esme was going through, she’d want to help. Dante asks if she’s sure there’s nothing she can tell them.

At the reception, Drew asks everyone to join him in welcoming the newlyweds, Portia and Curtis. Everyone applauds as they walk in, and the band begins to play. Portia and Curtis dance, and there’s a song part as they gaze into each other’s eyes. Curtis asks if he’s told her that he loves her, and she says, he has. He asks if he’s told her how excited he is to start their lives together, and Portia says, he has. He asks if he should stop, but she says, never. Trina says she’s never seen her mom so happy, and Josslyn says, maybe true love does exist. Spencer says, maybe it does, and looks at Trina.

Sonny tells Nina that everything looks gorgeous, especially the co-owner of the venue. How is she holding up? She says she’s okay. She’s thinking about Willow, and imagining dancing at her wedding. He says, there still may be a chance of that, so they can’t lose hope.

Marshall says he’s lived long enough to see his son get married, and TJ says, Curtis looks like he’s on Cloud 9. I wonder if there’s a Cloud 10, and Zeke says, his sister looks stunned. Molly says, it’s like she can’t believe the wedding actually happened, and Marshall says, those two are destined for a lifetime of bliss. Elizabeth tells Finn, watching them, it seems so simple, and he says, maybe it is. Maybe people tend to overcomplicate things. To life getting simpler one day. She says she can cheers to that, and they clink glasses. The dance finishes, and everyone applauds. Curtis brings Portia over to Sterling, and says he believes there’s another tradition to uphold. Sterling says he believes there is. He’d love to dance with his little girl. Portia says she’d love that too, and they go out to the dance floor to more applause.

Taggert tells Trina, it looks like they’re doing the daddy/daughter thing. Should they show them what they’ve got? She says, lead the way, and they go out too. Drew says, it looks like they’ve got a father/daughter duo, and asks for another round of applause. Portia looks over at Trina.

Stella takes a pill, and Jordan says, Stella is actually making herself sick over this. Stella says, it’s just something she takes for her blood pressure. Don’t worry. Her cardiologist assured her that she’ll outlive them all. Jordan says, she’d better; she’s indispensable. Stella says, the cemetery is full of indispensable people, and suggests they talk about something else. Has Jordan forgotten what day it is? Enough about Curtis’s love life. What about hers?

Heather tells Ryan, just stay in that chair, look as vacant as the Bates Motel, and she’ll have him and their daughter out of here and on their way to their new life before the guards have a chance to realize they’re gone. She gets misty-eyed just thinking about it. After all this time, together again; a real all-American family. He says, it sounds promising, but she says, it’s more than promising. It’s a sure thing. He says she’s not accounting for one potential glitch, but she says, this plan is glitch-free. He says, what if Esme refuses to come with them?

The woman says, as Dante and Sam pointed out, she’s never laid eyes on them before tonight. How does she know they’re not the reason that poor girl’s in trouble? Dante says, she just has to trust them. Sam says, Maggie Fitzgerald was the closest thing Esme had to a friend. Maybe she can tell them something about Esme’s family; a mother or a father… Dante says, basically someone who would do anything for her, and Sam says, and they mean anything. The woman says she wishes she could help them. Marjorie could name all of the Spice Girls faster than lightning – Mel B, Mel C, Victoria, Emma, and Geri – but she never heard her mention an Esme Prince.

Curtis asks Taggert if he can cut in, and Taggert says, now that he’s official the stepfather, it’s only fair. He thanks Trina for the dance, kisses her cheek, and tells Curtis, precious cargo. Curtis says, doesn’t he know it, and tells Trina that she looks lovely. They dance, and Trina asks how he feels. He says, mostly elated, and grateful. Of course (🍷) for her beautiful mother, and everyone here, but a large piece of that is reserved for her. Sterling asks Portia, what’s wrong? and she says, nothing. She’s just getting emotional. He says, the happiest day of your life can do that.

Sonny says he and Nina used to be good at that. Remember when he used to spin her around at the Tan-O? Let’s give it a shot. He knows it’s hard to have fun with what’s going on with Willow and Michael and everything, but they’ve got to live life, or what’s the point? He takes her hand, and they go onto the dance floor.

Elizabeth tells Terry to go dance and have fun, and Terry says, Elizabeth might consider taking her own advice. The dance floor is calling. Finn says he’s only an innocent bystander, not a dancer, and Elizabeth tells Terry, what he said. Terry says, suit yourself, and she and Yuri go to dance. Josslyn asks Spencer what he’s waiting for. She still doesn’t think he’s good enough for Trina, but that’s not for her to decide. Just like it’s not for Spencer to decide who she spends her time with. Got it? He says, got it.

Spencer asks if Trina has one more dance in her, and she says, with him? They start to dance, and she says she thought they weren’t pretending to be friends in public anymore. He says he wasn’t pretending.

Jordan asks Stella, please tell her that she’s not playing matchmaker, and Stella says, not after the mess she made of Curtis’s love life. Jordan says, Stella’s not to blame for the break-up of their marriage, but Stella says she didn’t help. Then there was Curtis’s relationship with Portia. Jordan says, Portia’s good people. If only she’d been upfront from the start, they’d know if Curtis was Trina’s father or not. Stella says, it’s too late for it to come out with minimal damage. She sees what Jordan is doing. They were talking about Jordan’s love life. Jordan says, Stella was talking about it, and Stella says, message received. She won’t be meddling in Curtis’s love life or Jordan’s. Jordan picks up the Bible, and tells Stella, like the Good Book says, take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Stella says, sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Matthew, 6:34. Jordan says, that Matthew, he really knew what was up. She kisses Stella on the cheek, and leaves. Stella says, he most certainly did.

Trina tells Spencer that Curtis is hiding it well, but it’s killing him that Stella isn’t here. He asks what she’s thinking, and she says she’s thinking it’s wrong that Stella’s sitting in her hotel room. She thinks Stella needs to be at this wedding.

Heather sticks her Valentine to the wall, and tells Ryan that she’s been earning Esme’s trust since Esme was brought here. She has no one else she can count on, especially that supposed baby daddy of hers. All he ever did was dump a bunch of papers in her lap, and tell her to sign away her rights. Ryan looks at the knife, and says, give him five minutes with that prince, and he swears he’ll eviscerate him. Heather says, spoken like a true and loving father. (She’s not wrong.) She tells him, for now, just be patient. Let mama take care of everything, and once they’re outside these walls, no one will ever hurt their baby girl again.

Dante puts some money on the bar, and tells the woman that they’ll get out of her hair, thanking her for the beer. She thanks him for the generous tip, and Sam says, they’ll be staying at the B&B, so if she thinks of anything that could help them, that would be fantastic. The woman says she’ll be sure to reach out. In the meantime, they’re welcome here anytime. They leave, and outside, Dante asks what Sam thought. She says, same as him; she’s lying through her teeth. I wonder where else you would lie from, and Sam tells him, that woman knows more than she’s saying. He tells Sam, say she’s lying… Sam says, she was, and he says, what’s the next obvious question? Why? Inside, the woman takes out a box of letters, and says, Esme, I warned you not to go look for your father. What have you gotten yourself into now? I think we all already guessed she’s Maggie.

Heather asks if Ryan is on board, and he says, he has a choice? She says, not so much. Once the stars are aligned, and Esme’s with them, they’ll make their escape. It’ll happen so fast, Esme won’t have time to object. He says, still, no plan is foolproof. What if they encounter an unforeseen complication? She touches the knife, and says, then he’ll be the solution. Happy Valentine’s Day. He says, let him throw one little wrinkle into the itinerary. He just needs to make one stop before they take off. I’m guessing to see Ava.

Making his toast, Drew says, the quality that stands out the most when he thinks of Curtis is loyalty. This man would lay down his life for those he cares about, and he considers himself lucky to be among them. He’s so happy for them, and can’t wait to see the life they build together. They’re beautiful inside and out. All of them love Curtis and Portia. Everyone is in agreement with that, and Drew says, to the best of the best. Congratulations, Curtis and Portia. Everyone raises their glasses and says, to the best. Portia and Curtis thank and hug Drew, and he says he meant every word. He tells the guests, it’s the maid-of-honor’s turn now, and asks Trina to show herself. She’s nowhere to be seen, and Marshall suggests she’s fixing her makeup. Portia wonders, where’s Trina? She was excited to give the toast. Where could she be?

Stella looks through the Bible, when there’s a knock at the door. She opens it, and Trina and Spencer are there.

Tomorrow, Trina asks, what would keep Stella from the wedding; Heather tells Esme, everything’s going to be taken care of; Nina tells Ava that she’s sure the reasons are less than legitimate; and Ryan says, you what?

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

When we last left, Bill was dragging Jennifer out of the party as she called Dolores the c-word. Dolores was pissed, since she’d been backing Jennifer for ages. In the car, Jennifer whined that Dolores didn’t care about her, but Bill said Jennifer’s expectations were too high for her friends. I think he really wanted to tell her that she was being an a-hole, but he has to sleep with her. Dolores said she was quitting Jennifer.

Wedding planning was in full force, and Teresa conferred about invitations with Louie’s assistant Jess. In her interview, Teresa said she wanted an epic wedding with Circe de Soleil dancers and fireworks. Melissa and Joe #2 thought the wedding was going to be awkward, and Melissa hated that Louie had called her insecure. Joe was shocked that Teresa put them out in the cold at the engagement party, and said she didn’t want him to walk her down the aisle.

Danielle visited Jennifer along with her kids, and was afraid once her kids saw Jennifer’s house, they’d want one. Danielle asked if it was going to be awkward with Jennifer and Dolores at her house, and Jennifer rehashed all that. They called Teresa to ask how her meeting with Marge went, and Teresa said it was a fresh of breath air [sic] because they’d communicated. Jennifer and Teresa had also met with Laura, an ex-friend of Marge’s, who said she had stuff they’d want to hear. In Jennifer’s interview she said, since Marge would do it, she decided to do it. Teresa indicated there was something serious Laura knew about, but Jennifer said she didn’t want to know… unless she needed ammunition.

Rachel has two under two, and a fifteen year old stepson, and actually seems like a decent person. My advice, stay far away from most of these people. Marge was having Dolores, Melissa, new friend Jen (who Marge knows through Siggy), Lexi, and Jackie over. Melissa brought sprinkle cookies, and we had a flashback of that Christmas long ago when Teresa threw them in the trash. Lexi said one of her worst faux pas was eating from the wrong bowl of edamame; she ate the pods people had sucked the beans out of. I can’t even imagine how TF you could make this mistake. She must be a real dimbulb. They played a sex question game, the first question being, what sex act did they feel guilty about? Jackie said, since she was Jewish, it was all of them. They never got past the first question because Melissa started talking about how sad it was for Joe #2, as he’d decided to call it quits with his sister. Jackie thought Jennifer was more dangerous than Teresa, and Dolores said, after being accused of not being a good friend, she and Jennifer were done. Marge said she’d genuinely made up with Jennifer, then found out she and Teresa were digging for info about her from a childhood friend. She felt played. In Marge’s interview, she said she found out because there was a mole in Jennifer’s camp.

Regarding her relationship with Paul, Dolores said, for the first time, she was dropping her guard 100%. Paul told her that he’d thought the other night was fun, and we flashed back to Jennifer going berserk. He’s clearly not paying attention. In Dolores’s interview, she said, beforehand, Paul had told her to be the bigger person. Had he not, it could have gone differently. Frank wasn’t used to her having a guy in her life that did everything for her, and Paul said he had her now. I’m liking Paul, so maybe there’s hope for Dolores. Teresa’s invites went out, imprinted on an acrylic pane that rested on top of fresh flowers. Fancy! Joe #2 said it was going to be awkward like in L.A. They’d been at this amazing event, and Teresa woudn’t even take a red carpet picture with him. In his interview, he said, their parents were looking down, and thinking it was a disgrace. Instead of being zen, Louie added fuel to the fire, and Teresa went apesh*t again.

Danielle got ready to have the women over for a mozzarella making party, and said Jennifer’s house could eat hers for breakfast. If anyone said her house was cute, they’d have a problem. Dolores arrived first, and when Danielle asked if there was going to be a problem with Jennifer, she said she always started off with a clean slate. Apparently, she’s never watched herself on this show. Melissa and Marge rode over together, and Marge said she didn’t care if Laura had said she was f***ing goats in her backyard, but Jennifer had undermined their friendship. Teresa said she had to send out new invites, thanks to Ramona. (Yes. RHONY Ramona of the googly eye fame.) Ramona had put Teresa’s invitation up on social media, and we saw the clip of her filming the invite. Teresa wasn’t able to get new acrylics in less than a few weeks’ time, so now the guests were going to be emailed new passwords. In Teresa’s interview, she said she’d wanted to keep the wedding private, and Ramona ruined it. I have to admit, I’m on her side with this one. WTF, Ramona? Dolores said she hadn’t spoken to Jennifer since Jennifer’s (latest) meltdown, and Teresa said she wasn’t taking sides. She wanted them to talk it out, but Dolores didn’t want hear what Jennifer had to say anymore.

Before Melissa got there, Teresa told everyone what a great time they’d had in L.A., but said, Joe was still hurt even though she’d apologized. She said she was seeing a therapist, and they talked about how Italians felt there was a stigma with therapy. When everyone got there, Danielle introduced the two chef instructors, and they all put on Making Mozz Memories aprons. It actually didn’t look too hard to make. Marge asked to chat with Jennifer, which was a mistake, since Jennifer only justified what she’d done. Marge asked if her apology hadn’t seemed genuine, but Jennifer said it had. Laura had approached her, and she was just curious. Marge suggested Jennifer be more self-reflective, which wasn’t a popular idea. She asked if Jennifer didn’t want to be friends, and Jennifer said, friends were on a spectrum. While I agree with that, I don’t go around digging up dirt about the ones on the low end of mine. Later, Marge told Teresa that Jennifer could benefit from therapy, and when Jennifer got annoyed about that, Marge pointed out that she also had issues with Dolores. Jennifer said she and Dolores were good, and Dolores got up and took off her earrings.

Dolores said if Jennifer had a problem with her, Jennifer should come to her, and then there was a bunch of no, you stuff. Teresa wondered what happened to the clean slate. Jen tried to intervene, and told them that this wasn’t going to get anywhere. When they ignored her suggestion, Jen stuffed her face from the buffet. Dolores suddenly decided they were good, and in Jennifer’s interview, she said she was done with people who didn’t care. I have to add, this was all shouted about in front of the chefs, who must have wondered WTF they’d gotten themselves into. Teresa said, all these people were going to be at her wedding, and no seating chart was probably a good idea. Marge said, Teresa had issues with it last time at the engagement party, and in Dolores’s interview, she said, in Italian families, it’s big deal where you sit. Teresa insisted that Melissa and Joe #2 were supposed to be at her table, and Jennifer backed her up, saying, Teresa was unaware of the issue. Melissa said Teresa was horrible to them in New York, which brought us back to Teresa feeling that Melissa hadn’t stuck up for Louie with Marge. Melissa said she’d told Marge to knock it off a million times, and Marge agreed. Melissa told Teresa to stop saying how family was everything.

Next time, Paul confronts Frank; Marge thinks Jennifer is on a downward spiral; Danielle admits she’s also estranged from her brother; and Joe #2 has a fight with Louie.

🏖  The Summer House premiere was just the warm up to what will surely be a summer of awful people drinking liquor and fighting.

Carl and Lindsay have moved in together, and Lindsay said she was living a rom-com movie in real life. I give this five minutes. On July 1^st, the housemates headed for the Hamptons, and Kyle said he intended to have a massive summer, since he’s about to turn 40 and he’s married now. I’m not sure what he means by massive, but I’m sure it involves a lot of drinking and acting like an a-hole. When they got to the house, they found out the number of bedrooms had been cut back, due to zoning laws. In other words, the landlord advertised that he was renting out too many rooms on national TV, and got caught.

Paige picked her up new girl Gabby, who is all about astrology, and on the way, explained the logistics of the house. She said, Mya, who was dating Oliver, would also be joining them, and Gabby realized she was the only one not part of a couple. Kyle said he took the vibe of the house very seriously, and I decided the word vibe is overused. Mya said she was friends with Carl, but Lindsay thought she wanted Carl in a sexual way. Lindsay didn’t want Mya near him, even though she and Carl were in a permanent friendzone. Mya said after they’d played Family Feud (like really, on TV, not in the living room), she told Lindsay that she’d texted Carl to see if he wanted to smoke a jay. She’d smoked with Carl before, but Lindsay said it wasn’t respectful, and got all bent out of shape. I see Lindsay overreacting in the future. Another new girl, Sam, showed up, as well as a new guy named Chris. Carl was now working with Kyle at Loverboy, but described it as rocky, and said he didn’t know if Loverboy was for him. The first night they decided to have pool party, and Lindsay told the girls that she’d been sober for nine months, but then she wanted a glass of wine with her Aunt Rhonda at Easter, so she was drinking again. But now she didn’t black out. Oh okay. There’s that. Add drunken to overreacting.

Gabby whined to Carl about Lindsay, but kudos to Carl – who’s been the one actual adult in the bunch for a few seasons – for saying, nope. Lindsay was his priority. There will still be overreacting though. Lindsay explained to the others that she got pissed because she’d been supporting Carl’s sobriety, and felt Gabby was sabotaging it by suggesting he smoke weed with her. New guy Jaerez joined the group, and one of the girls (I think Sam) mixed up Leonardo da Vinci with Leonardo DiCaprio, which is pretty amusing, and shows how stupid these people are. How did I miss out on making millions and being on TV?

This season, stupidity; alcohol; alcohol and stupidity; Kory comes to the house; Craig puts pressure on Paige; fights; and a possible engagement.

🐰 Don’t Change a Hare For Me…

Stop in tomorrow, where there will be soap, a glimpse into everything Vanderpumpish, and perhaps some Bowl talk. Until then, stay safe, stay knowing friends are God’s apology for relatives, and stay living life. Or what’s the point?