What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

On the phone, Laura says she’s been updated on Curtis’s condition. She’s sorry she left Jordan with so much to deal with, but she also knows Jordan is perfectly capable of handling it…. Laura thanks her and says, goodbye, when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Valentin, who asks what time they’re leaving for the airport. Laura says she and Doc are leaving in an hour, but he’s not coming with him.

Martin is let into Cyrus’s hospital room, and Cyrus says, you’ve come to see thy brother. Martin says he’s only here because he was informed it was a matter of life or death, and Cyrus says, it is. Like their Savior, he’s faced death only to embrace life in all its glory. Martin says he’s truly sorry to hear about the heart attack, but comparing himself to God is definitely going too far, even for Cyrus.

In the nook, Tracy asks when the wandering warbler walked in (try saying that 3 times real fast), and Olivia says, Dante brought him here last night. He was out bar hopping at all hours. Tracy’s got to help her. She doesn’t even recognize her husband anymore. Tracy says she’s sorry. She has to deal with reality today. Olivia is going to have to deal with fantasy. As Tracy walks out, Olivia says, he’s still her son. Leo comes in and says, Eddie slept here last night. Leo was watching him sleep. He snores. When is dad coming back? She says she wishes she knew, when Ned/Eddie walks in and says, so that’s where I am.

Brook calls Chase at the hospital, and asks how he is. He says he’s busy. Her? She says, same. She was thinking maybe they could have lunch. He says he’s going to be tied up at GH, and she asks why he’s there, but he says he’s sorry. He’s got to go, but he misses her. Maxie watches her, as Brook says she misses him too, but he’s already hung up. Brook says, be careful, and looks at The Invader headline: MURDER AT GH. Maxie says, it never gets any easier, and Brook says she didn’t know Maxie had come in. What never gets any easier? Maxie says, being in love with a cop.

Sam goes into Kelly’s, and tells Carly, it looks like somebody had a busy morning. Carly says, it’s amazing how many people are at that door at 6 am, waiting for her to flip the sign. Does Sam want some breakfast? Sam says, actually, she wants a coffee to go. She wondered if Carly knew how Drew was doing. Carly says she thought Sam took Scout to see him, and Sam says she tried, but they wouldn’t let them in. They said there was some sort of an incident.

Austin picks up Cyrus’s chart, and Chase gets his attention. Austin asks if he can help Chase with something, and Chase says he’s working on a case. Can Austin answer a few questions about this guy? He shows Austin a picture of Gordon’s dead body.

On the phone in his office, Sonny says, he took two bullets to the chest at GH, in his territory… He thinks they’re trying to send him a message. So he might just send them a message. Frank comes in, and Sonny asks if the job is done. Frank says, yes, boss, and Sonny says, and? Frank says, in the trunk. Sonny tosses down his phone and says, let’s go make a delivery.

Ned asks how he got here, and Olivia says, Dante saw him staggering around some random bar. Lucky he didn’t get arrested. She hands him some coffee, and he says he’d better tell Sonny, but she says she already called him. He’s sending Ned’s things. Ned says he guesses that’s a hint. He’s crashed in worse places. She says, he ought to be drinking water; he’s going to dehydrate. She’ll make him some eggs. He says, no. He would hurl. Leo asks if he’s sick, but he says he’s just a little hung over. Leo says, hung over what? and Olivia says, it’s a condition that adults get when they’ve spent the entire night making fools of themselves. Leo asks if that’s why his eyes are red, and Olivia suggests he get Ned an ice pack from the freezer. Leo tells Ned, that means she wants to talk to him alone, and leaves. She asks if Ned’s had a look in the mirror and realized he’s a little old for this.

Valentin says, okay, but doesn’t Laura need his help getting on to… She says she doesn’t actually. They needed his help before, and he was very helpful. They really appreciate it, but she and Doc have it from here. Doc walks in, and Valentin says, he’s behind this, isn’t he? Doc says he hopes so, and Laura says she was just explaining to Valentin that they’re going to go on, just the two of them. Doc says, yes, well the only reason Valentin came along was because Laura had information Nikolas might be in Chechnya. Valentin knows the country and the language, but Nikolas isn’t there. They don’t need him anymore. Valentin says he knows Doc has no use for him, but shouldn’t his wife’s safety be more important than hatred?

Cyrus asks Martin, where is his beautiful sister? He was hoping she’d come as well. Her aura guided him through his darkest hours. Martin says, Laura and her aura are somewhere in Europe right now, and Cyrus says he hopes she’s having a wonderful time. God has given him a gift, and an important message. Martin says, don’t open til Christmas? and Cyrus says, normally, he would welcome Martin’s humor, but this is a serious issue, and Martin’s lack of faith in him breaks his heart. Martin says he hasn’t got time for this. What’s so damn urgent? Cyrus says he needs Martin to give all his money away.

Brook says she was just calling Chase to say hello, and Maxie asks if he’s working that murder case at GH. Brook says she thinks so, but he won’t talk about it, and Maxie says, he doesn’t want to worry her. Brook says she thinks she’d worry less if he talked about it, but Maxie says, she wouldn’t. Is that why she was so desperate for Chase to be a singer? Brook says, no, but she can’t help but think it would have made her life easier, and Maxie says, really? All those girls fawning over him? Brook says, they still fawn over him when he’s not singer, and Maxie says, that’s a whole other issue. Brook asks if it gets easier, and Maxie says, not really, but you learn to live with it. Then when you’re phone rings in the middle of the night… Brook says she’s sorry and suggests they drop it, but Maxie says, it’s okay. Brook is her friend and she loves her. Brook says she loves Maxie too, but Maxie lost Nathan. Maxie says she did, but he was doing a job he loved, and that made him the man that she loved. Would Chase ever have been really happy being a singer? Brook says, no. She guesses she just has to accept this is his calling. He’s so passionate about it, and she knows how much it means to him. Maxie says, and when we love someone, isn’t that what we want for them? Brook says she’ll get there, and Maxie says, she will. Brook asks what Maxie has in her hand, and Maxie says, a list of arguments so their major distributor doesn’t drop all of their products. Brook says, what? Did it work? Maxie says she was able to talk them off the ledge when Lucy came back from the dead, but the main Face of Deception going homicidal? They couldn’t take that.

Austin suggests they talk privately, and Chase says, he’s a tough guy to track down. They’ve been trying to find Austin since the shooting the other night. Austin says, after working a double shift, he just crashes. He has to decompress. Chase says he bets. So what about this guy? Austin says he does recognize him because he treated him here at the ER, and Chase asks if Austin can tell him what for, but Austin says he can’t. Patient/doctor confidentiality. He’s sure Chase understands. Chase asks if that’s the only time Austin saw him, and Austin says, as a patient, yes, but he tracked Austin down after that at the Port Charles Grill. He was upset about his bill. Chase asks, when was this? and Austin says, a couple days ago. Chase asks if Austin was the only one there when this happened, and Austin says, no. He was with Ava Jerome and Nina Reeves and Sonny Corinthos. Chase says he has one other question, and shows Austin another photo. It’s Dex.

Carly says she’s so sorry that Scout and Drew didn’t get to see each other, and Sam says her too. Scout was really disappointed, but she told her that she’d ask Carly how her dad was doing. Carly says, their visit was great. She couldn’t believe it took such a long time to see him, and of course (🍷) Drew wanted her to wait even longer. Sam says, he can be a martyr like that, and Carly says, in a good way. Sam says she is kind of worried about him. It’s the kind of people he’s in there with. Not that she doesn’t think he can take care of himself, because she knows he can, but still. Carly says, he’s okay. Tell Scout not to worry about her daddy. Sam thanks her, and says she knows this has to be hard on Carly. She and Drew just started their relationship. Now they’re separated. Carly says, Sam knows what it’s like; her and Dante. It’s the beginning. You want to find out every single thing you can about that person, and want to grow with them. It’s hard. Sam says, it’s really a special time, and Carly says, it is, and being away from the person you love the most… Sam turns around to see Sonny walk in.

Brook says, they both know Sasha didn’t realize what she was doing, and Maxie says she knows; she was there. Sasha had no idea what was going on. But the optics still stink. And so does being moved to the bottom shelf of every major department and cosmetics store. Brook says, no, but Maxie says, yeah. If it wasn’t for The Deceptor, this company would be doomed. Thank goodness they didn’t put Sasha’s face on the Deceptor box. Does she sound heartless? Brook says, no. She sounds like a good businesswoman. She knows how much Maxie loves Sasha, and would do anything for her to get better, but she also has a responsibility to the company and the stockholders. There’s a knock at the door, and Tracy walks in. She says, there Brook is, and Brook says, they’re in the middle of a business crisis, but Tracy says, it will have to wait. They need to have a private conversation where they won’t be disturbed by Brook’s father.

Ned tells Olivia, old? How does someone old manage to hit The Savoy – which, by the way, is a little too fancy for his taste – and then… Well, a couple of the bars that are definitely more his style. Loud, rocking music, down to earth, the right kind of crowd… She says, dive bars, and he says, exactly. He loves dive bars. She says, tell her something. When he looked around these wonderful dive bars, how many grandfathers did he see? I’ll bet more than you would think.

Martin says, no doubt any money Cyrus has was illegally obtained, but by all means, which victim would Cyrus like him to make the check out to? Cyrus says, Martin has to understand. The warmth of that white light was incredible. It was flowing through his entire body, and he was moving right into it, as if to become a part of it, but the love of his dear sister and brother and their beloved mother pulled him back, both emotionally and spiritually. Martin says, the money, and Cyrus says, it was Drew Cain who performed the CPR that kept him alive. The man didn’t have to do that, but because of Drew’s heroics, he’s still here. And now he’ll be able to do the work God has tasked him with. Martin says, what exactly is that?

Austin tells Chase, this guy is certainly more alive. Is he supposed to know who he is? Chase says, he was spotted outside Austin’s office door by a member of the staff before he came across the victim later that night. Austin says, it sounds like that guy would know more about what’s going on than he would, and Chase says, they’re questioning everyone who was here that night. It’s routine, for now. Austin says he has a patient he should get to, so if Chase has no more questions… He starts to walk, and Chase says, call him if Austin remembers anything. Austin says, absolutely, and Chase notices the chart. He says, Cyrus Renault. Is he one of Austin’s patients? Austin says, he will be as soon as he meets him, and Chase says, watch your back.

Sonny says hi to Carly and Sam, when the phone rings, and Carly says she’s got to take this. Sam asks how the wedding planning is going, and Sonny says, it’s going. He hopes Dante realizes how lucky he is. She says, it’s a two-way street, and he says, Dante isn’t the only one who’s crazy about her. He had a heart-to-heart with Rocco, and he thinks she’s terrific, and he’s a lot like his grandfather, a tough sell. Sam thanks him for telling her, and he says, don’t expect him to… She says, he’s right. It’s good to see him. He says, it’s good to see her, and she leaves. Carly apologizes, and Sonny says, it looks like business is good. She says, it’s picked up a bit, and he says he’s not surprised. The owner has a solid reputation for running a good establishment. She thanks him, and says, if it keeps up at this pace and she manages the books just right, she’ll be able to keep the house. He says he can help her out with that, but she says she doesn’t need anything. Besides, she can’t take money from anyone. He says, got it, and she asks why he’s here. He says he came to make her an offer she can’t refuse.

Doc says, Valentin thinks he’d put Laura’s life in jeopardy because he has a grievance with him? It was a long time ago; he can get past it. Unless Valentin has an issue with that. Valentin says, no issue, and Laura asks if she can have a word alone with Valentin. Doc could tell the front desk they’re checking out. Doc says he’d be delighted to do that. Valentin is right about one thing. Doc doesn’t particularly like him, but he does appreciate Valentin’s help in Chechnya. He leaves, and Valentin says, Doc must really love Laura to put up with him. Doc hates his guts. She says she really wouldn’t go that far. Doc has some issues with him, but he’s come to understand Valentin’s value, as has she. And he’s also begun to understand that she’s come to care about Valentin. It’s because of that, she’s telling him that he needs to go back to Port Charles.

Martin says he’s waiting with bated breath, and Cyrus says, as Martin knows, he’s not legally able to handle any of his assets while he’s in prison. Therefore, he’s granted the authority to Martin to access his trust. Martin asks when he did that, and Cyrus says, very early this morning. He’ll find the papers right there. Martin picks up an envelope from the tray and asks, for what reason is he now in control of Cyrus’s money? Cyrus says, so Martin can help his brothers and sisters held in that purgatory called Pentenville. He’s spent enough time there to recognize that within those walls there is no rehabilitation for the vulnerable or weak. Martin says, this is supposed to help them? and Cyrus says, used properly, they could help them learn to lead productive lives, so they can help others when they get out, not hurt them. Martin says, when Cyrus had the heart attack, he didn’t fall and hit his head on anything, did he? and Cyrus laughs. He says, this is his calling. God has let him survive for this reason and he will not let Him down.

Ned tells Olivia, no, no, no. He is not a grandfather. She says, actually, he kind of is. Technically, he’s not. He says, that’s good, because what he is, is an artist. He’s free and he’s wild, and that’s how he’ll always be. She says, maybe he’s free and wild up here, pointing to his head, but this is not going to last if he’s hanging out all night drinking and partying. He’s going to give himself a damn stroke. He says, you know what’s going to give him a stroke? Her nagging. What he can’t figure out is how the guy she says he used to be could somehow be married to her, because no way any part of him would marry such an uptight shrew. He takes his coffee, and leaves her with her mouth hanging open.

Tracy tells Brook, Olivia doesn’t even know her own husband. At least he came home last night. Brook says she saw him, and Tracy says, not of his own accord; Dante had to drag him. It’s ridiculous a man of his age is running around pretending to be some alter-ego. Brook says, she doesn’t know that he’s pretending, and Tracy says, if he’s not, he really needs some serious help. Olivia is so tense, she’s snapping at everything, and poor Leo… What does Maxie think? Is Ned being fair to his family? Does she think he’s faking? Maxie says she thinks she needs to get some coffee. Does anybody want anything? No? Great. She jets, and Tracy closes the door, saying, she never thought Maxie would leave. Now. What does Brook have for her on The Deceptor?

Frank brings in a humongous sack of coffee, and Carly says she already has a huge supply of Corinthos Coffee… but business is picking up. So Sonny is right. How could she possibly refuse? Sonny tells Frank to put it in the kitchen, and tells Carly, it’s a good luck gift. Not that she needs it, but he wanted to thank her for picking up Avery last night. He knows how busy she is. She says she’s never too busy for the kids. They had a great time. Ava stopped by. She said she was just coming by to give Avery a goodnight kiss, but she could tell something was wrong, and it’s not just that she hates Avery’s new nanny. He says, Betty is an acquired taste, and she says she knows there’s something fishy about the last minute sleepover. So why doesn’t he just tell her what’s going on? He says he’s handling it, when Chase comes in and asks Sonny if he can have a word.

Austin goes into Cyrus’s room and asks how he’s feeling. He looks extremely healthy for the man who had the heart attack described in his chart. Cyrus says, God works in mysterious ways, and Austin says, He sure does. Cyrus says he was mere seconds away from shedding this mortal coil, and now he’s here feeling no pain and ready to do God’s work. Austin says, right. How about they start with him just taking a look at Cyrus?

Valentin says he cares about Laura too, and she laughs, telling him, that was really hard for him to say. He says, she’s a good person. Doc’s a lucky man. Doc’s got a lot of strong qualities, but he thinks over here he can protect her better than Doc can. She says, there are other people who need him. Charlotte’s back from summer camp; she needs her father. And he’s a wonderful father. As a matter of fact, she was going to ask him a favor; if he could check on Spencer for her when he gets back. He says he doesn’t think Spencer is going to appreciate that, but she says, there are other people, like Anna. He says, when Victor exposed her, he made her vulnerable, but he’s in touch with Anna every day and she’s handling it. Laura asks if she’d admit it if she weren’t, and he says, no. She says, so he knows she was at the MetroCourt pool when Curtis was shot and that he might not be the actual target. Anna needs him.

Leo asks, where’s Eddie? and Olivia says, hopefully, he’s sleeping it off. Leo says, sleeping what off? What did he have on? She says she just means getting over his headache. He asks why she’s sad, and she says she can’t keep anything from him, can she? He shakes his head, and she says she just misses his dad. He says, him too, and she asks what he thinks of Eddie. Leo says, he’s funny. Eddie thinks he’s smart. Olivia says, Leo is smart, but he says, some people don’t think so. She says, that’s their problem, isn’t it? What else does he like about Eddie? He says, Eddie likes when he smiles. He can tell. She says, then he can’t be all bad, can he? and hugs Leo.

Carly looks puzzled as she watches Chase and Sonny go outside. In the courtyard, Chase thanks Sonny, and says, it’s quieter out here. Sonny asks what he can do for Chase, and Chase says he wants to talk to Sonny about the shooting outside General Hospital a few days ago. Sonny says he heard about that, and Chase says, everyone did. Someone takes two bullets to the chest outside their biggest hospital, people talk. Sonny says he’s not sure how he can help Dex, and Chase shows him the picture of Dex, saying, this guy works for him, right? Sonny laughs, and says, Chase knows he does. Chase says he’s just confirming, and Sonny says, it’s confirmed. Chase says, Dex discovered the body, and Sonny says, Chase knows he knows that too. So if Chase has real questions, he’ll listen. Chase asks, what was Dex doing at GH the night of the murders?

Maxie brings in a list and hands it to Carly, telling her, coffee and pastries, and Carly asks why Maxie would bring the order here. This is for Deception, right? They always order from the MetroCourt. Maxie says she needed some air, and Carly says, and Maxie found out she took over Kelly’s, huh? Maxie says, that too. Is that a bad thing? Carly says, of course (🍷) not. She just hopes Nina doesn’t get upset… How did Maxie find out she was running Kelly’s? Maxie says, Nina.

On the phone at the hospital, Martin says he wouldn’t bother her, but she did make him promise to call, and Laura asks, how’s Cyrus? Martin says, he’s definitely worth the price of admission. Apparently, her aura helped him connect with God. She rolls her eyes and says, whatever. How’s he doing physically? Martin says, he’s doing remarkably well for a man his age who’s just had a heart attack. And get this. He’s assigned Martin the task of giving away all his money. She says she’s not even going to ask. She’s sorry she left him to deal with all of this on his own. He says he’s not on his own. No matter where she is, she’s always in his heart. He just hopes she’s safe. And he’ll continue to keep her posted. She says, please do, and thanks him for the update. Doc says, he assumes her convict brother will survive, and she says, it sounds like it, yeah. He says, relieved? and she says she is. He says, good. Where’s their friend? She says, Valentin’s on his way to the airport. He wants to get back to Port Charles as soon as possible. Doc says he’s glad Valentin is gone. He may be better trained to protect her under certain circumstances. She says she doesn’t need that kind of protection where they’re going.

Leo reads his Photo Ark Wonders book in the nook, and Ned says he guesses there’s no more coffee. Where’s Leo’s mom? Leo says, she’s putting the ice pack in the freezer. Ned says, darn it. He could use that ice pack. Is Leo going to tell him about another cool animal? Leo closes the book and says, his mom was trying to help Eddie. Why did he make her feel sad?

Brook asks what Tracy is talking about. She already risked her job and her friendships to give her that flashdrive with all the information on The Deceptor. Tracy says, that was weeks ago. She needs to be brought up to date. She looks through papers on the credenza, and Brook says, any new information on The Deceptor is hidden in a secure location, and she’s not wiling to jeopardize her job again. Tracy laughs and says, come on. Lucy Coe is a birdbrain. She couldn’t install a security protocol if her life depended on it. Maxie’s a smart cookie, but Brook is a Quartermaine. Brook holds up her tablet, showing her The Sun headline: The Face of Evisceration. She asks if Tracy can see it, or does she need her glasses? Tracy says, she stabbed the stableboy by the pool. What’s the big deal? Brook says, she was at Michael and Willow’s wedding looking completely normal and beautiful and smiling, and Tracy says, people change? Brook says, she’s the Face of Deception, and this, right now, is killing the company. The only thing making a profit is The Deceptor, and she isn’t willing to risk it for Tracy.

Carly asks if Nina told Maxie to come here, but Maxie says, no. Nina didn’t tell her not to either. She understands that after everything that’s happened, Carly hates Nina, but Carly says, they’re not going to do that because that is in the past. She’s realized that hatred and anger and resentment is just a vicious cycle. It can pull you down, and she’s not going to let that happen to her. Maxie says, wow. She doesn’t know if anyone would recognize this Carly. Carly says she’s not sure she would recognize this Carly, and Maxie says, she does seem really driven though. It’s not easy to run a place like this. Carly says, it’s not. you’ve got to keep your eye on everything. Maxie says, and the long hours, but Carly says she doesn’t mind that. She intends to prove to certain people that she’s not dependent on anyone. Maxie says she never thought Carly was, and Carly thanks her for that. She never thought she was either. Maxie says, if anyone can make a place like this even better, it’s Carly, and Carly says, yeah, and Kelly’s is just the first step.

Sonny tells Chase, from his understanding, the first detective on the scene was Dante. That makes it his case. Chase says, they’re partners; they share cases. And since Dante is Sonny’s son, they thought it better if Chase questions him. He looks at his notebook, and says, before he discovered the body, Dex Heller was seen lurking outside an office building at General Hospital. Was he working for Sonny that night? Sonny says, Chase said lurking? Is that like the guy who was outside his office when he came here this morning? So probably the same guy who told Chase he was here. Because he considers that lurking. Chase asks if that’s his answer, and Sonny says, Chase is going to have to ask Dex why he was at the hospital. Chase says he spoke to Dr. Gatlin-Holt. He said the murder victim, Gordon Stevens, approached him at a restaurant with Sonny present. Does Sonny care to comment on that? Sonny says, Chase will have to contact his lawyer if he has any more questions. Good luck, detective. He goes back inside.

Tracy says, so the only thing keeping this ridiculous business model afloat is The Deceptor? and Brook says, yes. So please, don’t do anything to hurt her friends. Tracy says, there are no friends in business. They’re family. Brook will use her inside access to get Tracy all the information she possibly can. Now she’s going home to check on Brook’s father. Who knows what trouble Eddie Maine is stirring up, or if he’s even out of bed yet.

Ned drinks some water, and Leo says, the National Academy of Sciences recommends 3.7 liters of water a day for a man like him. Ned says, how much is that in English? and Leo says, 15.6 cups. Ned says he has a long way to go, when Olivia comes in. Leo says, Eddie’s drinking water to get hydrated, and she says she sees that. Ned says he was wondering if her offer for some breakfast still stands, and Leo says, yay! A second breakfast. His mom makes amazing frittatas. Ned says, sounds good, and she says, coming right up. Leo asks if Ned knows what a frittata is, and Ned says he doesn’t, but he bets Leo is just the guy who can tell him. Aww. I’m liking this storyline.

Doc says, maybe it would be better if he were to go alone, but Laura says, absolutely not. He says, what she experienced on Cassadine Island is a kind of long term trauma, and she says she can handle that. He says, but what Helena, Stavros, Mikkos did to her… She says, they’re all dead. They’re all gone, and she survived. They can’t hurt her now. Besides, if Nikolas wants to find a place to hide from the rest of the world, that is the perfect spot. He says, all right, but he’ll be with her every step of the way. Promise him if anything starts to come up again, just tell him. She says she promises she will, but she’s not going to let that stop her from finding her son.

Cyrus says, what’s the good word, doctor? and Austin says, the good word is that he wouldn’t recommend Cyrus run a marathon any time soon, but he’s doing extremely well. Cyrus says, God makes miracles, and Austin says, sometimes the human body does too. Cyrus says, and God made us all, and Austin starts to leave, but Cyrus grabs his wrist. He says, Austin is looking at a man who shattered every Commandment in his previous life. Does he have any idea what that’s like to turn completely away from God? Austin says, it’s probably not great, and Cyrus says, yet here he is, given a second chance. Austin says he does hope Cyrus can take advantage of it, and Cyrus says he has every intention of doing just that. Austin extracts himself, and starts to leave, when Cyrus says, may the Lord bless Austin and protect him. And his family. Austin leaves, and Cyrus smiles.

Carly asks if everything’s all right with Chase, and Sonny says, yeah. Chase is a good guy. She’s doing a good thing. She says, Kelly’s? and he says, she took a lot of hits and she bounced back. It’s not easy to do that. She asks if he thought she’d just roll over, but he says, not in a million years, because she’s a survivor. It’s one of the first things he learned about her. She says she’s doing what she has to do, and he asks if she’s seen Drew. She says, yes, and he asks if Drew is okay. She says, he’s okay, and Sonny says, good. Is she waiting for the lunch crowd? She says, yeah, and he says he’s got to go. She thanks him, and he says, it’s the best coffee in town. He leaves, and Sam calls Carly. She says she called the prison to see if she could take Scout to see Drew, and they said he wasn’t allowed any visitors until further notice. Carly says, why? What’s going on? Sam says, because he’s locked up in solitary confinement.

Tomorrow, Ned says he doesn’t see that changing anytime soon; TJ tells Molly, it’s their first step to having a family; Ava says, Austin killed him, didn’t he; and Curtis tells Stella that he doesn’t think he can do this.

The Real Shrew Housewives of Orange County

Shannon pitches a low-key fit to the production crew about how John is super private, and if this is aired, her relationship is over. I’m still not sure what the big deal is exactly. In Shannon’s interview, she says she made the decision to confide in Fancy Pants Heather when she was vulnerable. She was stupid to assume it would be kept between them. In Tamra’s interview, she says, Fancy Pants said Shannon and John’s relationship is sh*t, and they’re not good. She must not remember the last time she talked about Shannon’s relationship, and it blew up in her face. We flash back to that, and Shannon says she feels 100% betrayal. People who live in glass houses… Vicki says, we should shoot stones at them, but Tamra says, shouldn’t throw stones. Vicki says, that’s not it, but it’s something about stones.😐

 Emily, Shane, and the kids go pumpkin picking, so I assume Halloween is around the corner. Shane corrects Emily about something or other that I wasn’t paying attention to, and in Emily’s interview, she says, one of the biggest issues between her and Shane is their parenting style. Shane likes to check her in front of the kids, and it takes her authority away. She grew up without many rules, and to her it’s monumental. She’s trying to give the kids structure and safety. Shane grew up differently, with a mom and dad. In Shane’s interview, he says he feels he can do things as well or better than Emily. He has a lot of patience, but he’s guilty of giving too much grace. He wants to be the fun dad.  

Jenn and Tamra meet for frozen yogurt or something, and Tamra apologizes for being an a-hole. In Jenn’s interview, she says she’s confused. How long is she supposed to be a punching bag and forgive? Tamra says her head’s not in a good place. The gym closed and Eddie’s grandmother isn’t well. She doesn’t deal with emotions and explodes. She wants to be in a trusting place with Jenn. In Tamra’s interview, she says she hasn’t changed her mind about Jenn and Ryan, but she was an a-hole. She wants Jenn to be happy. She tells Jenn that she wants to move forward, and would love to sit down with Ryan. Shannon asked her and Eddie to go on John’s boat and then to a restaurant, and she recommended Jenn and Ryan come too. Jenn says, Tamra can throw a napkin in her face and say horrible things, but at the end of the day, she’ll always take care of their friendship. In Jenn’s interview, she says she’ll always fight for their friendship. She wants to believe Tamra means it, but she still feels guarded. Here’s where Jenn and I differ. Throw a napkin in my face and scream at me, and we’re  done. Tamra says she’s going to lay off the tequila too. She can’t control tequila. No, she can’t control herself on tequila.

Heather meets with Mark Cuban and his business partner Falon Fatemi, and in her interview, she says, years ago, Terry became enamored with Mark, and they invested in his company. She loves that he’s normal and laid back. He and Falon are co-founders of Fireside, an indirect streaming app. She’ll be able to do whatever in her slot. New eyeballs means more work and maybe readings. It might be the hole for her to integrate herself back into the acting world. It’s a business filled with rejection, and that’s a mind f***. It’s scary and daunting, but she’ll be showing she’s still alive. She tells them that she needs for this to work, and Falon says, Heather will make it work.

Gina meets Jenn for some shopping, and Gina says she thinks she’ll have her real estate license in two months. They agree the hustle is real. In Gina’s interview, she says she has more respect for Jenn now. It’s a comfort to talk with a woman in the same position. Jenn tells Gina about her truce with Tamra, but says, it’s like waiting for the ball to drop. I think she means the other shoe. Gina says, Jenn doesn’t have to tell anyone anything. Jenn’s being attacked and Gina can’t watch it happen. Maybe Jenn’s friends have to step up for her. In her interview, Gina says, Jenn has done nothing wrong to anyone but herself, and she paid for it. Jenn tells Gina about the boat/dinner invite, and says, it’s nice, but she’s worried about Eddie and Ryan. She doesn’t know Shannon and John. Gina says, from what she’s heard, things are not great, and Jenn says, Shannon told her that John was an amazing partner. Gina says she thinks it’s easier for people to talk about others, so they don’t have to talk about themselves.

I have to insert this. As I’m editing, they’re showing a RHOC from 2014, and Tamra is exactly the same. Screaming, acting like an a-hole, then apologizing.

Fancy Pants, Jenn, and Tamra take a class from boxing instructor Andre. Afterward, Heather tells them that she and Terry have a penthouse in L.A. that’s in escrow. It’s going to be their pied-a-terre. No surprise she has to explain this word to Tamra. In Fancy’s interview, she says she and Terry had been looking at apartments in L.A., and it was the most perfect ever penthouse. It’s the first step back to a career in Hollywood. Tamra says, Shannon and John seemed happy when she last saw them, and in her interview, she says she wonders if Heather forgot what she said in the past. She’s going to see if she can catch her. In her interview, Fancy Pants wonders why Tamra wants to know her opinion about Shannon and John, and why in front of Jenn? Tamra has a big mouth, and even if she had an opinion, she wouldn’t tell Tamra. Both Tamra and Fancy Pants play a round of I don’t know.

Emily and Shane go out to dinner, and in Emily’s interview, she says the reason she was attracted to Shane was because he was funny. But sometimes she wants to talk about real issues, and it can be frustrating. They’ve been married 14 years, and would probably have divorced a long time ago if he wasn’t so funny. I totally understand this. I think Shane’s funny too. She tells him that they need to have an important conversation about parenting. She doesn’t think they’re on the same page. He corrected what she said in front of the kids. He says he just meant to add to what she said, but she tells him that she felt marginalized. He says he’s sorry, and she says she wants to feel he respects her as a mother and the kids see that. He’s sincerely apologetic, and in her interview, she says she loves that Shane takes ownership of the things he’s done that are hurtful. They’ll always have issues, but that’s how you grow.

Gina meets with her realtor mentors, and says she’s getting more excited. She asks Travis to role play as a buyer, and in her interview, she says she’ll be helping people make probably the biggest purchase in their lives. They have to feel comfortable with you. She loves talking to people, and Travis will be doing the paperwork and contracts. Travis thinks she did well, and she says she feels good about it that they’re doing it together.

John asks Shannon how the dinner was with Vicki, and we flash back to that. Shannon says, they had a lot of laughs, and in her interview, she says she’s not telling John anything. They’re about to have a fun night and she doesn’t want to put a black cloud over tonight. John’s not going to be happy about this. Tamra is nervous seeing Ryan after she talked sh*t about him. Before Jenn and Ryan get there, Tamra tells John about Ryan saying he wanted to hit on her, and in Eddie’s interview, he says, the rumors about Ryan made him concerned. He cares about Jenn, and sees the trainwreck. It’s none of his business, but it is. The best person in the room is John’s dog Banks, and in Shannon’s interview, she says, the tension is rising. The last time she was on a boat with these women, it didn’t go so well. We flash back to Tamra screaming liar, liar, liar, and Jenn and Ryan arrive. Ryan is wearing one of those white jackets with black writing all over it. I guess you’d call that a vibe.

Terry tells Fancy Pants that the L.A. penthouse is in escrow, and in Heather’s interview, she says, their house wasn’t on the market, but they got a cold call from Josh Altman. We see a clip where Josh says someone he knows is interested, and he’d ask $55 million. Fancy Pants says she’s open to change. It’s like the universe is speaking, but it’s still a long road from here to packing boxes. They’ll see if it’s meant to be. Terry says, 22,000 square feet is a lot of house for four people, and Heather says, not that she’s not grateful, but it represents a job she doesn’t want anymore. In her interview, she says, it’s been amazing. They built the house. We flash back to some of that, and a producer asks if she’d like to live in a house where the staff doesn’t outnumber her family. She says, yes. She and Terry have built so much together and it’s a ton of money, but signifies their next chapter as a family and as a couple. Terry thanks Heather for the home and thanks her for the next step. It’s going to be a good one.

The boat passes Nobu, and Tamra says, the scene of the [napkin] crime. In Tamra’s interview, she says, it’s awkward. She doesn’t want to look at Ryan. He always dresses silly. Why is there leopard on his collar? I hadn’t noticed, but yep, it’s leopard. They go to a restaurant where the food looks amazing and there are deviled eggs like I’ve never seen them. Ryan brings up the infamous d*ck pic, and in her interview, Jenn says she’s talked until she’s blue in the face on Ryan’s behalf. The rest of them need to figure stuff out on their own. In Shannon’s interview, she says she never hopped on the d*ck pic train, and we hear a train whistle. She says she’s not even comfortable saying d*ck. John says he wants to use the restroom, and suggests that Shannon does too. They leave, and Tamra says, they have a chance to talk more privately. Ryan says, Eddie owes him an apology. If something was told to him, even if he found out it wasn’t true, it’s not cool. He could see how hurt Jenn was dealing with it on his behalf, and he feels betrayed.

Eddie says he was told that Ryan goes after married women, and he came to the conclusion it was the truth. Tamra says, they’ve known Jenn longer, and John and Shannon silently slip back into their seats. Eddie asks if Ryan cheated on his wife, and Ryan admits he did. Eddie says, now he’s stuck with the cheater label, and tells him that the other Heather heard him say he wanted to f*** Eddie’s wife (i.e. Tamra), but Ryan says, absolutely not. Heather told him that Tamra thought he was hot, and he said he thought Tamra was hot. End of story. Tamra asks if he’s saying Heather is lying, and he says he is. Shannon says she doesn’t know them, but she’s been around Heather and doesn’t think she’s a liar. Why she’s putting in her two cents, I’m not sure. In Jenn’s interview, she says she thinks Heather is in love with Ryan, and their relationship is none of her business. Eddie asks if Ryan cheated on Jenn, and Ryan says, a few months in, he said it was too much, and they separated. Tamra says, if he slept with someone else when they were on a break, did that mean he loved her? and he says he does love her. In her interview, Jenn says, she felt cheated on, and Ryan tells the others to see their love and make their own judgement. Tamra says, they don’t need to talk about this again, and they agree to move forward. In other words, until it comes up again. In Shannon’s interview, she says she knows how difficult it can be when other people discuss your relationship. It’s nobody’s business except the people involved. Tamra asks, what’s next? A vacation? Marriage? Ryan says, they’re definitely getting married, and in Tamra’s interview, she says she’s not holding her breath, and doubts she’d get an invite if it happened. It will be hard to find bridesmaids Ryan hasn’t f***ed. John says he felt like he shouldn’t be here, and Tamra says, cheers to clearing the air and moving forward.

This season, a lot of screaming and whooping it up; Fancy Pants and Terry get their 55 million (so is she taking the etched window with her?); Shannon screeches that someone owes her boyfriend an apology; Emily calls out Shannon for being two different people; and Fancy Pants says, just because Emily is emphatic about it, doesn’t make it true.

🍸 Shaking, Not Stirring…

Come on by tomorrow for soap and a tea party. Until then, stay safe, stay treating others with humility, and stay not letting the vicious cycle of hatred, anger, and resentment pull you down.