What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Diane says, Sonny has at least four people on stand-by who could do this. He doesn’t need her. He says he wants her to handle this directly. He needs somebody he can trust. Will she do this for him or not? She says she lives to serve, and leaves. Frank tells Sonny that his son is here, and Sonny asks, which one? Dante walks in and says, what does he mean, which one? Does it matter?

Walking into the MetroCourt, Nina asks if Valentin is sure he can’t sit and brainstorm with her, but he says he’s sorry. He’s booked. He goes over to a table where Laura and Robert are sitting, and Robert tells him, have a seat. Since they all know why they’re here, they can get on with it. They’re here to discuss the consequences of Charlotte’s actions when stalking Anna.

Cyrus is folding napkins at the PC Grill when he hears someone come in. He says, we’re closed, and Anna says, even for her? She moves aside her jacket so he can see her badge.

Portia brings in coffee for Jordan and Curtis, and says, now she’ll leave so they can talk, but Curtis suggests she stay. He’s sure whatever Jordan has to say, she can hear. Jordan says, technically, what she’s about to say, Portia can’t here.

Sonny asks what he can do for Dante, and Dante asks if he’s okay. Sonny says, yeah. Why? Dante says, Diane seemed a little pissed off and this isn’t the warmest welcome he’s gotten from Sonny, so he can come back if Sonny is busy. Sonny says he’ll just go out of his mind, and Dante asks, why? About the Olivia Jerome killing? Sonny says he read about that. He’s not going to shed any tears, but he had nothing to do with that if that’s what Dante is implying. Dante says he actually thinks the people who killed Olivia Jerome are the same people who are trying to kill Sonny.

Robert says, as Laura knows, the DA’s office must avoid all appearance of bias, and Valentin says, meaning what exactly? Robert says, meaning any familial ties to the mayor, minor age, injury incurred in the course of the crime negate the fact that the crime was committed at all. Several crimes actually. Valentin says, she wasn’t in her right mind. Robert knows that, and Laura says she appreciates the difficult position Robert is in, so please just tell them what his office has decided. He says his office will not pursue any charges… at this time, provided Charlotte work with a court-ordered therapist, a thousand hours of community service, and three years’ probation. Are they good?

Cyrus tells Anna that he’s sorry, but the Grill won’t open for another hour. He’d be happy to tell the maître d’ she’s looking for a table. Just let him know the number of people in her party and what time. She says she’s not here to dine. She’s here to offer him an opportunity to save lives, including his own. He asks why she’d want to save him.

Curtis assures Jordan that anything she has to say will be kept in the strictest confidence, and Jordan tells her that nothing she says will leave this room. She can’t provide all of the details, but there have been some results in the investigation of the MetroCourt pool shooting. Portia asks if the shooter’s been captured, but Jordan says, no. Portia says, found? and Jordan says, no, but they’re closer now that they know the shooter’s agenda, and they have a definitive answer as to who the target was. Portia says, they already know the target wasn’t Curtis, so who was it? Anna? Sonny? Jordan says, the shooter was aiming at Sonny, and Curtis asks if that’s definitive. Jordan says, they’re as sure as they can be without a statement from the shooter. Sonny wasn’t the only target.

Dante says, they think the same person, or people, who took out Olivia Jerome are the same people who tried to take Sonny out at the MetroCourt pool and in Puerto Rico. They also think they’re responsible for the deaths of various organized crime figures across the country. Sonny says, so Olivia was next on the list, and Dante says, that’s right. They were operating on the assumption it was a lone gunman, but they’re not working alone because Olivia’s guards were ambushed by two men, part of a bigger group or organization. Sonny says, that tracks with what Jagger Cates told him. He also advised Sonny to watch his back. He asks if Dante is telling him there’s a possibility that someone is infiltrating his organization, and Dante says, this is serious. They’ve got to find this traitor. Sonny says, Dante tells him that like there’s only one.

Diane approaches Nina, who’s working at the bar, and Nina says, the bartender should be back momentarily, but Diane says, not to worry. She takes a manila envelope out of her bag and says she’s not here to see him. She’s here to see Nina. She slides the envelope over and says, you’ve been served. Nina opens the envelope and takes out some paperwork. She says, these are divorce papers.

Jordan says, they have reason to believe the shooting is related to a series of attacks on organized crime figures across the eastern US, and Portia says she’s relieved to know Curtis wasn’t the target, but she’s still furious that he became collateral damage because somebody had a vendetta that actually had nothing to do with him. Jordan says she understands the feeling, and Curtis says, they appreciate the update. Actually, he’d begun to look into things himself. Jordan says, really? What did he come up with? He says he didn’t get to far. He had to pause because he underwent surgery. Jordan says, understandable, and Portia says, he’s been focused on his recovery. Jordan asks how the recovery is coming, and Curtis says, there’s definitely been progress. Jordan says she’s glad to hear that. She said she’d keep them in the loop, so that’s why she gave them this information. She knows standing on the sidelines isn’t how Curtis operates, but now that he’s mentioned he’s working on the case, maybe it’s time she speaks to Anna about making him a more active part of the investigation.

Cyrus tells Anna that he can’t imagine why he’d be in danger. Clearly, he’s not the man he once was. She says he considers himself reformed, but she’s not sure everyone feels the same way. His former life puts him at risk. Who’s to say he’s not the next target? He says, then he shall rely on God to be his protector, not the PCPD, and she says, what about all the other targets or collateral victims? Will his conscience be at peace with their deaths, knowing he didn’t do everything in his power to stop this violence? He says, God helps those who help themselves, and he’s not in the business of saving lives. That’s her job. He’s just trying to save a few souls. She says, that’s a very lofty goal, and he says, it’s all he’s got. She says she happens to know he retained contact with his religious acolytes at Pentenville, and he says he goes there twice a week. The new warden has seen the wisdom of allowing him to continue his ministry. She says she wants to make a proposition to him. It’s a win-win situation, because he’s perfectly placed to use his influence at the prison. He says, let’s just speak plainly. She’s not concerned about his ministry or the men who turn to him in search of a pathway to salvation. She’s asking him to exploit the very people who turn to him for guidance. Is he right?

Valentin says, a thousand hours of community service and three years’ probation. He thinks maybe Charlotte should go to court. The judge would give her a more lenient sentence, certainly more reasonable. Laura says, but they’re very grateful Charlotte isn’t going to face detention of any sort. She wants Robert to know though, Charlotte’s already in therapy. Robert says, that was factored into the decision. When it comes to juveniles, his office likes to pursue a direction of reformation over punishment. Valentin says, Victor manipulated Charlotte, and Robert says, Victor was her grandfather and an adult. She was a kid. She didn’t know any better. Valentin on the other hand… Laura says she thinks it’s time for her to get to her next appointment and thanks Robert for his fairness and his consideration in this matter. She’s really grateful, but she really should be going. Why doesn’t Valentin walk out with her? Valentin tells her to go ahead. He has more business. Robert says he’ll be in touch, and Laura says she looks forward to it. She leaves, and Valentin says, Robert has done his professional duty. Now’s his chance to get personal.

Diane tells Nina, the terms are very simple. It’s a 50/50 split of all assets accrued during the marriage. Other than that, both parties keep the toys they came with. Nina says she’s heard nothing from Sonny in all the time that’s gone by, no contact. She thought that he was cooling off, that after he did that, they might try again, but now these papers. No word to her? Nothing? Diane says she always advises clients that communication should be kept to a minimum during separation and Sonny listens to her counsel. Nina says, nice try. Sonny does what he wants. She doubts Sonny would listen to Diane’s counsel more than his own heart. Diane laughs and says, it’s true. Of course (🍷), Sonny listening to his heart over his head is what got them here in the first place.

Dante asks if Sonny is saying he thinks he has more than one mole inside, and Sonny says he takes nothing and no one for granted. Dante says, nor should he, so let him help, and Sonny asks how he’s going to do that. Dante says, for starters, they see where Sonny’s key players were during the attack on Olivia Jerome. So Brick was out of town. Frank was with Sonny? Sonny says, yeah, and Dante says, how about Dex? Sonny says, Dex is not the guy, and Dante says he knows Sonny trusts Dex… Sonny tells him, that’s not what he said. He said, Dex is not the guy. Dante asks how he knows, and Sonny says he appreciates what Dante is trying to do, but he has to go. Dante says, if they pinpoint where Sonny’s people were, then they can figure out who wasn’t where they were supposed to be, and Sonny asks if Dante thinks he doesn’t know how to run his own organization. Dante says, whoa. He thinks he’s actually trying to help Sonny. Sonny says he’s heard that before, and Dante says he gets that Sonny might be on edge with everything that’s going on, but this feels like something else, something Sonny’s not telling him. Why doesn’t Sonny talk to him? Sonny says, it’s his problem, but Dante says, what affects Sonny, affects him, okay? Sonny says he hasn’t figured out the ID of the shooter, but he did sniff out a rat. He got rid of Dex. Dante asks, why? and Sonny says, Dex wasn’t working for him. He was working for Dante’s brother, his son. Dante asks what he’s talking about, and Sonny says, Michael hired Dex, planted Dex in his organization to get evidence against him so Michael could send him to prison.

Nina says, Diane never liked her, but Diane says, none of this is personal. Nina says, please. She turned Diane’s friend Carly in to the SEC. She’s probably doing anything she can not to gloat right now. Diane says she’s had many triumphs in her long career. Nina’s failed marriage to Sonny doesn’t even rate. Nina says, it’s really sad that when Diane considers her accomplishments, it’s only in the context of her career. Profession is not a life. Diane says, Nina is concerned about her. That’s so sweet. Nina wants to play? She’s got a few minutes. They can play. Nina knows nothing about her. However, she knows boatloads about Nina. She knows, for instance, that Nina is an heiress and she’s benefitted her whole life from the sort of soft landings that money provides. (Leaving out those years in a coma where Nina had twins who were stolen from her by her mother who was trying to steal her inheritence.) So when Nina committed – she’ll just pick a random case from their files – assault and kidnapping, she did a three-month stint in a luxury mental facility and then walked out, free as a bird. Fast forward to Nixon Falls, where Sonny is living and has no idea who he is, but Nina knows. And she took advantage. Just like she took advantage of the strain between Sonny and Carly after Sonny came back to Port Charles to break them up, catch Sonny on the rebound. Nina sets herself up as the embodiment of sweetness and light, but thank God, Sonny has finally come to his senses. But don’t worry. She still has all that inheritance money. She’ll have a soft landing, again.

Valentin says, so Robert is coming after him. That’s what this is. Robert says he thinks he’ll keep Valentin guessing. He’s having lunch with a female friend of his. Valentin says he’s trying to be as optimistic as Laura was in hoping Robert isn’t taking his loathing of him out on his daughter. Robert says he thinks the word Valentin is looking for is gracious. He has so much sympathy for Charlotte and everything she’s been through. She shouldn’t be behind bars. Valentin on the other hand, should. He walks away.

Curtis says he hated giving up on his investigation. The stakes are high on this one and he didn’t like the idea of Jordan being out there digging on her own. He’s glad to hear the FBI’s involved now and that she hasn’t been hurt in the process. Jordan says, there was a sticky situation in a hotel room with a dealer who sold the sniper rifle, but she had Anna as back-up. Portia says, this all sounds incredibly dangerous. Why doesn’t Jordan just let the FBI handle this, especially since she and Curtis aren’t in law enforcement anymore? Jordan says, one of the perks of her current office is that she gets to liaise with the PCPD. They all agree that what matters is stopping this guy. And if Curtis likes, she can get the ball rolling bringing him in as a consultant. With her and Laura singing his praises, she doesn’t anticipate much pushback on that. Curtis says, thanks – he looks at Portia – but he’s going to sit this one out.

Cyrus tells Anna that he has work to do. Please respect that, and him. She says she’s not trying to strongarm him at all. She’s asking him to use his powers of persuasion and influence to gain the confidence of a certain person at Pentenville who has valuable information that could just stop this killing spree. He says, gain their confidence by deception. That’s not his way. People come to him who are scared and vulnerable. She says, you know who else is scared and vulnerable? The next person who believes they’re a target. And he may not like them – she may not like them – but she doesn’t think either of them is in a position to judge whether they should live or die. They need their help. And she’s not talking about an offering of thoughts and prayers on Searching with Cyrus. He says, so she’s heard his radio broadcast, and she says she has. He has a unique way of communicating. She might go so far as to say he’s quite gifted in his ability to persuade and instruct. He could be a real asset to them in trying to gain this intel. He says he’s sorry, but aside from everything else, he doesn’t work with cops, and she says, even for a good cause? He says he has only her word for that, when Laura walks in and says, what about her word?

Curtis says he appreciates the opportunity, but he’s focused on his family and his recovery. Jordan says she understands and respects his decision. He would have been an asset to this investigation. Did he turn up anything on his own? Curtis remembers Sonny saying, Pikeman is in bed with the WSB. Former WSB agents work for Pikeman and then Pikeman personnel work for the Bureau. Pikeman has made overtures to him, but let’s just say it didn’t live up to Pikeman’s satisfaction. Curtis tells Sonny that Pikeman may have a reason to come gunning for him, and Sonny says, anything is possible. Curtis tells Jordan, nothing comes to mind. Like he said, his priority is getting back on his feet so he can be fully present for his family. She says she’s certain he will. He’s got this. She thanks Portia, who says, of course (🍷), and Curtis says, Jordan and Anna make a pretty formidable pair. Jordan says she and Anna are working on a tactic, even if it is a little dicey, and Curtis asks, how so? She says, it requires help from Cyrus Renault.

Cyrus says, bringing in the big guns, eh, Commissioner? and says hello to Laura. Laura asks why he’d balk at stopping more killings, and Anna says she has some calls to make and leaves. Laura says, Anna thought he might need a little more encouragement. She has to say she’s really disappointed Anna was right. He says, come on. She knows how he feels about law enforcement. She says, and how law enforcement feels about him? This isn’t about personal or professional animus. It’s about stopping an assassin who’s working an agenda they haven’t even uncovered yet. This is important. This person must be stopped. He says, and she’s really this wound up about saving mob bosses, and she says, he claims the most important thing in his life right now is helping his fellow man. What if it is another mob boss? He used to be one not that long ago, right? He told her that he’s turned over a new leaf now and she really wants to believe that. Here’s his chance to prove it to her.

Dante says, Dex was working for Michael the whole time? and Sonny says, it started off that way, then Carly got involved and it changed course. But no one decided to notify him. So here’s what happened. They sit down, and Sonny says, Carly and Michael hired Dex to protect him, like he’s a child, and Dex reports back to them if he thinks Sonny’s in trouble. Dante says he gets now why Sonny is pissed off. He relied on Dex. Sonny says, and trusted Michael. He’s not going to make that mistake again. Dante says, then Sonny is telling him that Michael had a change of heart and hired Dex to look out for him, and Sonny says, too little too late. Dante says, is it? and Sonny says, his son tried to take him down from the inside. He didn’t just say he was going to do it. He actually tried to do it. So just because Michael changes his mind, he’s supposed to forgive and forget? Dante says, no, but he does remember back then that Michael felt betrayed by Sonny, right? And he came around and opted to protect Sonny. Does he really want to write off his son who, in the end, was looking out for him? Sonny needs people close to him who care about him and it doesn’t really matter how they got there. Sonny tells him, that’s what Michael said, but there’s no room in his life for anybody he can’t trust.

Nina says, Diane wouldn’t be so callous if Diane could relate to what she stands to lose, and Diane says she shall await word from Nina’s attorney. She gets up and heads for the door, but Robert appears and takes her arm. He says, shall we? but she asks if they can get out of here. He says, happily, and they leave. At the bar, Nina tells Valentin that Diane just served her divorce papers from Sonny, and he says, Diane and Robert are infuriating, aren’t they? Reveling in the misery of others. It’s bad karma and they have a lot of it. Nina says she’ll toast to that, and they clink martini glasses.

Outside, Jordan calls Anna, who says she was just about to call Jordan. Jordan says, any word? and Anna says, yeah. None of it good. Jordan says, dammit. That’s what she was afraid of.

Jordan asks if Curtis is having second thoughts about joining the investigation, but he says he’s clear on his role. He’s a husband and father first. She says she’s so glad. She knows how much all of this means to him for him to make that sacrifice. Anna and Jordan are going to figure out who’s responsible for these shootings. They’re going to wrap it up, and they’re going to catch him, so no one else has to endure what they’ve had to endure, or worse. He says he hopes so and tells her that he has to make a call. She says, sure. She’ll start dinner. She walks toward the kitchen, and he calls her back. He tells her that he’s never felt closer to her than he has these past few days, and she says she feels the same way. He says, that’s why he feels like he has to be completely honest with her. He has to warn someone who may be the shooter’s next target. She says, warn who? and he says, Selina Wu. She asks why he’d need to warn her, and he says he’d do it as a courtesy. Because they used to be in business together.

Valentin says he’s sorry and asks how Nina is feeling. She says, miserable. She waited patiently for months and months. She gave Sonny a lot of space. The first real conversation about her marriage that she’s had was with Sonny’s lawyer telling her it was over. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Tell her what happened with Charlotte. What did Robert Scorpio have to say? Valentin says, he’s not pressing for jail time, but he wants her to serve a thousand hours of community service and three years of probation. She says, that’s absurd, and he says, lucky Laura was there. She kept him from blowing up. It would have made things worse. She asks him to tell Charlotte that she loves her, and she’ll call her. It’ll be okay. Charlotte has him and her, and Nina will be there for her. She just has to call. He says he’s so grateful Charlotte still has Nina in her life. And for what it’s worth (🍷), he’s sorry she’s being treated so poorly. Sonny serving her with divorce papers without any warning. She says, he probably has a lot going on. Maybe he just needs a little reminding. He tells her, don’t make excuses for that guy. He thinks it’s time she came to terms with the fact that her soon to be ex-husband is not the man she fell in love with. She gets up, and he says, hey, it’s her life. She wants Sonny to change his mind? How is she going to do that? She says she has to get his attention first.

Dante says he gets that this isn’t easy. First Sonny loses Nina, then Spencer, and now it’s Dex and Michael. That’s a lot of loss. Sonny says, it’s different situations, but Dante says, it’s all the same in that these are people who were close to him. Sonny says he guesses not that close, and Dante asks, where’s Dex now? Sonny says, he’s not a problem, and Dante says he obviously can’t just leave that at that, can he? Sonny says, he’s alive, but they both agreed it’s best for him to leave town. He’s telling the truth. Dante doesn’t trust him? Dante says he trusts Sonny. Does Sonny trust him?

Jordan says, if anyone can get through to Cyrus, it’s Laura, and Anna says, yeah, but she has her work cut out for her. He’s being very resistant. Jordan says, not to pile on any more bad news, but Curtis opted not to consult on the investigation. He wants to make a fresh start.

Portia says, wow, and Curtis says, for a while there, he received a cut of Selina Wu’s profits in the poker games in The Savoy’s backroom. She asks if that’s why that woman came to their home with a basket of fruit. That’s why she wanted to buy the club, right? Did Marshall know about this too? He says, yeah. He figured it out. Dad’s no fool to these kinds of things. She says, no, he’s not a fool, but clearly, she’s the fool, and Curtis says he wanted to keep the family safe. Selina Wu respected that until she came here. She crossed the line. She says, that’s what these people do, and he says, she has every right to be angry with him. He should have just told her. She says, this isn’t about anger. She’s terrified.

In Robert’s hotel room, Diane says, this is precisely why she told Sonny that she didn’t want to serve the papers. She doesn’t need the aggravation. He says he has a room service menu here somewhere, and she says, and for Nina to imply she’s some sort of soulless, cold-hearted automaton with no personal life only gets her blood up for a fight in court. He says he does call her Killer Miller. There is nothing wrong with being good at your job. She says, there’s no argument there. She’s good at other things too. He says, not cold either, and kisses her. If it’s any consolation, Valentin accused him today of personal animosity in the professional handling of his daughter. She helps him undo his tie and says, Valentin is a pompous ass. Robert is the soul of integrity. He’s a consummate professional. He’s also quite the softie. He says, every guy likes to hear that, and she says, he’s tough when it counts, but he’s also soft when it counts. He says, let him tell her where it doesn’t count. It doesn’t count what Nina and Valentin think of them. She says she wholeheartedly agrees. You know what does count? What she can give him. She kisses him, and Robert says he thinks he now knows the secret of Diane’s success. She takes rational human beings and makes them forget themselves. He almost forgot the lunch. He’s going to call downstairs and have them send up another menu. He’s famished. She says, her too. She has quite the appetite. She kisses him again.

Dante says he knows he might be the last person Sonny trusts, but he feels like he’s proven himself over the years. Sonny says, of course (🍷) he trusts Dante. And he knows Agent Cates didn’t show up at his office the other day because Cates was concerned about his well-being; he was encouraged by Dante or Anna. Dante says, because they have Sonny’s back, and Sonny says, they’re in the minority. Dante says, Sonny has more friends than he thinks he has. Misguided actions don’t necessarily mean bad intentions. Sonny says, lies and loyalty don’t mix, and Dante says he’s not going to tell Sonny who he should or shouldn’t trust. He doesn’t know, but these are dangerous times. He wants Sonny to consider that help could come from some pretty unexpected corners.

Cyrus comes in with a dish tub, and says, Laura’s still here. She says she’s not leaving until he hears her out on saving lives. She listened to his whole radio show the other day, and he almost had her believing him. Anna comes back in, and Cyrus says, everything he said in that broadcast was the gospel truth. Laura says, he values the lives of others, and he says, as the Lord commands. She says, what about the lives of his former rivals like Sonny Corinthos? and he says, she’s asking too much of him. Anna says she’s sorry to interrupt, and Laura says she thinks it was a mistake to come to her brother. Cyrus asks if he’s just supposed to forget Sonny beat him to a pulp and put him in the hospital. Where’s the concern for him? Laura says she was concerned. She was very concerned, but that was at the time Ace disappeared, and they didn’t know where Esme went… He says he’s so sorry. The Good Book tells us that not even sparrows are forgotten by our Father. So if our Heavenly Father can protect those He overlooks, so can he. He’ll try to live up to Laura’s faith in him. What does Anna need him to do? Anna suggests they sit down, and they do. She says, this all starts with his ministry at Pentenville. They want him to reach out to a certain inmate there.

Curtis tells Portia, there are no more card games in the backroom at The Savoy. His business with Selina Wu is over. She asks why he feels so compelled to warn her, and he says, it seems like the right thing to do. She says, why? She doesn’t get this. Why is Curtis so intent on helping her? She tried to steal his club from him. She tried to take The Savoy away from him. She wasn’t trying to help him. She was trying to swoop in when he was most vulnerable. He says he knows what she was trying to do, but she didn’t, did she? Because dad and Sonny fended her off. He even managed to part ways with Selina Wu amicably and he intends to keep it that way. She says, right now, she’s less worried about Selina Wu and more worried about the shooter who was targeting her. Maybe now they’re targeting him. He says his was an accident, and she says, an assassin was trying to kill a mob boss, and now he’s telling her that he’s in league with another mob boss, and he just told her that Sonny is the one that helped him with Selina Wu. That’s a lot of organized crime going on. She doesn’t get it. He says, she doesn’t have to worry. He’s out. She says she’s worried and she honestly can’t believe he isn’t. All they’ve been doing here is fighting. Fighting for their marriage again. They’ve been fighting for this perfect life together. They’ve been saying how they’re going to make it work and be stronger than ever. How are they going to do that if he’s collateral damage again? How do they know he isn’t already one of the names on the hit man’s list?

Valentin suggests they set some ground rules before Nina goes about getting Sonny’s attention. She’s too classy to grovel. She says, grovel? He should know her better than that. He says he thought he did, then she went and fell in love with a gangster, and she says, it was a very confusing time when she fell in love with Sonny… Mike, or whatever. It was the only thing that made sense. Sometimes she thinks they would have been better off if they’d just stayed n Nixon Falls. They’d still be together. He says, Nixon Falls isn’t reality. Mike wasn’t reality. Sonny is reality. Has she come to terms with that? She says she knows who she married, and he says he can’t believe he’s going to say this, but if she wants to stay married, this is how she stays married. Sometimes the best way to get what you want is by not giving someone what they want. She says, the only thing Sonny wants from her right now is a quick divorce, and he says, don’t give it to him. That’ll get his attention.

Dante asks Sonny to give what he said some thought, and Sonny says he appreciates Dante’s input, but he’s going to handle this himself. Dante says he’s sure Sonny has something he’s cooking up, and Sonny says, Dante knows how much he loves to cook. Here’s the thing. There’s a special place in hell for those who have put his family in danger. And he’s going to send them there.

Tomorrow, Brook tells Maxie, if this continues, they’re in for one hell of a quarter; Tracy says, they’ve all been deceived; Felicia tells Spinelli that it’s time to put an end to their deception; and Selina tells Sonny, now is the time for them to put their alliance to an end.

Vanderpump Rules

James says, it’s pool party day, and he’s excited. In his interview, he says, it’s their first get together in the new house. Welcome to Casa Kennedy. He bought drinks, food, and a grill for the party. He spent at least two grand. Where did it go? Yeah, we all say that. Not the two grand part, but where did it go?

Ariana tells Katie that the Lyft driver who dropped her off the other night said he remembered the house. He said, she and her husband were fighting. He was cheating on her. She told him that they weren’t together anymore, and he said, that makes sense. Good. In Ariana’s interview, she says, he was the driver from the night on March 1^st. She tells Katie, he had no idea it’s a thing, and Katie says, have you heard of reddit? In her interview, Ariana says, he has no clue how many people want to talk to him. Katie says, Lala made some good points, and then Schwartz said they were ganging up on him. In Ariana’s interview, she says, a guy she hasn’t spoken to is suddenly an authority on who she is, how she thinks and feels, and how she lives her life. Just like a man. They talk about Tahoe, and Katie says she’s not abandoning work to get the shop open. In Katie’s interview, she says she’d rather eat a jean jacket. (That’s a new one, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.) They need to get permits and licenses and staff the place. They have their work cut out for them. Ariana says she’s not comfortable staying in a cabin with the Toms, and Katie says she doesn’t understand it.

Scheana and Lala go to Villa Rosa, and Lala asks if Schena wants to bet Lisa is going to say she has no clothes on. Lisa greets them holding new pup Donut(!), and remarks that Lala has no clothes on. She might get everyone here in a bit of a tizzy. They sit down, and Lisa says she wants to talk about so many things, and some of them they’re not going to like. She spent time with Sandoval and knows he’s in a very dark place. Scheana says she’s pissed off because she reached out to him when his friend passed, and he blocked her. He’s diving into villain energy and she’s not here for it. He needs to be humble and have humility. She also told him to get a therapist. In Scheana’s interview, she says, Sandoval is taking no accountability. Lisa is telling them that he’s depressed, but she hasn’t seen that. She’s seen him project. Lisa says he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but Lala says, he’s doubling down. Scheana says, he called Lala a narcissist (my bad. I thought he said Ariana), and Lala says, she should have asked more questions about Randall before getting involved. Lisa says she never held it against Lala, but Lala says, Sandoval has, and he’s talked to the press about her. He also can’t acknowledge how he hurt James. Lisa says, their lives are going swimmingly, and Sandoval’s isn’t. In Lisa’s interview, she says, Sandoval is a shadow of his former self, and she doesn’t want to see him going down that path. He’s depressed. She’s seen depression and she knows it. Her brother used the same words and it stayed with her. She tells the girls that they don’t want to be in the position that they have regret when they look back. Her brother is a trigger for her, and she doesn’t think Sandoval is a person who would say he had suicidal thoughts unless he meant it. Lala says she hears Lisa. She doesn’t want anyone to wear that for the rest of their life. She knows what it’s like. In Lala’s interview, she says she never gave Sandoval’s mental health much thought. She looked at him like her ex, someone with no feelings. She’s holding on to anger and doesn’t trust anybody. It’s not healthy. She doesn’t want to be angry all the time. It’s killing her. Scheana says, Sandoval was genuinely one of the best friends she’s had in her life, and Lisa asks if that doesn’t make it easier to forgive. Scheana asks if it’s worth losing Ariana, and Lisa says, talk to her. Don’t be a people pleaser. Go with her gut. In Scheana’s interview, she says, Ariana made it clear that anyone who chooses to remain friends with Sandoval is dead to her. We flash back to Ariana kissing off Schwartz, and Scheana says, at same time, if someone is struggling at this level, how can she keep coming for him? She tells Lisa that she’s going on Schwartz’s trip, and Lisa suggests they stop attacking Sandoval. None of them is perfect.

Pool party time! Lala and Scheana bring along Scheana’s sister Cortney, and Schwartz brings a plant. In Ally’s interview, she says, that’s the third plant Schwartz has brought them. She’ll have to get a gardener. Schwartz says he’s been on a sober curious journey, but he’s having a few. In his interview, he says, his conversation with Katie and Lala didn’t go well, and we flash back to that. He says, they tarred and feathered him. He wasn’t an accessory to the affair. There’s more to him than that. James goes to the porch roof and jumps into the pool (it’s not that high). Schwartz follows because, as we know, he’s a lemming.

Sandoval and Billie go to the IntoMeSea quantum wellness studio. WTF? The woman at the desk asks if they’ve done a cold plunge before, and in Sandoval’s interview, he says he’s stressed out, depressed, and overwhelmed. He realizes that he has to be able to handle his emotions in healthier ways. He gets in the bath, and Billie asks how intense it is from 1 to 10. He says, a 9, and in his interview, he says, it feels especially weird since he’s never been an outsider with the friend group. He feels like Andy when he first gets to Shawshank. He wants to get back part of something that resembles his old life. It’s the people he was closest to that hurt him the most.

Lala works out with Ally, and they make a pact to do 50 squats a day. What is with the squats? They’re in every freaking workout and I hate them. Lala asks how long it’s been since James was sober, and Ally says, three months. Lala says, the first few weeks are the hardest, and wonders if James would open up if she asked why he decided to become sober. Ally says she knows, but Lala would have to ask James, and Lala says, everyone has a rock-bottom moment where they realize it’s no longer working. In Lala’s interview, she says, something about that rock bottom moment changes everything. We flash back to the Reunion where Lala talked about going to Disney World with Randall’s family and being drunk for four days straight. When she woke up, she knew she never wanted to live this way again and reached out to get help. She says she still has a lot of work to do sober. She tells Ally that she doesn’t want to trigger by asking deep questions, but Ally thinks she should ask.

There’s a fire on the grill, and Ariana has to tell James not to fan the flames, but he rescues the food and says, they survived. Lala tells Schwartz that she knows she came in heavy. She has to not be triggered and make other’s experiences her own. It’s a process. She can’t go from machetes to crying in a fetal position. There’s got to be a middle ground. Schwartz says, Ariana looked at him like he was subhuman. She’s been exalted to queen status and was giving diva energy, as opposed to someone who’s been hurt. He’s not fawning for her affection or validation. Lala says she thought he handled it well. At times, she takes things to heart, but she’s working on not being a dog in someone else’s fight. In Lala’s interview, she says she thought her superpower was calling people on their sh*t, but it’s not healthy. She has to practice forgiveness and can’t wear trauma like a badge of honor. She tells Schwartz that she’s watched him please everyone. That’s how her dad was. He hated conflict and he was bulldozed over. She believes the stress of it killed him. She wants Schwartz to be down for someone, but do what’s best for him and his family. His brother is in the fight of his life, and she’s sorry she didn’t give him grace. We flash back to Lala reaming Schwartz out, and Schwartz says he’s sorry he retaliated, but when he’s mad, it’s easy when they haven’t communicated. He sees she’s a great mom and how much humanity she has. What she’s doing is heartfelt. Maybe she could give Sandoval a little. He can’t abandon that man. He’s family.

Sandoval tells Billie that he feels great, and Billie says, he’s worthy and deserves bliss. She asks if he’s thinking about dating, but he says, no. He misses Raquel. It’s been at least three weeks since they’ve talked. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, when they spoke the last time, he didn’t think it would be the last time. We see a clip from 27 days ago where he’s talking to Raquel on the phone, and he says, in that conversation, she said she was extending her time in the facility. He told her that he loved her, and they’d talk later. He tells Billie that he had love and was addicted. He couldn’t see anything else. Hanging out with her was the best part. I’m guessing that’s when he pontificated, and she looked at him adoringly. In his interview, Sandoval says he hopes they can give it a shot. He’s saving himself for her. Billie says she’s tired of the world hating on him. There were times she thought she’d lose him. He says, it got close. He had to snap himself out of it. In his interview, he says he had all kinds of feelings – pain, anger, sadness, depression, bleakness. He lost all his friends and it felt like the best way to show he’s sorry, give them what they all want, for him to go away. I guess moving was out of the question? Oh yeah, then Ariana would get the house. He tells Billie that he just wants to be happy and he doesn’t feel like he’s allowed. She says, he’ll get there.

Some of the girls hang on a floatie in the pool, and Scheana says she’s personally struggling. She and Lala went to Lisa’s and all three of them were in tears. Lisa was emotional, saying she saw similarities in Sandoval and her brother before he passed. She’s concerned and asked them to ease up. Ariana says, Sandoval and Lisa’s brother are different people. Sandoval won’t take responsibility. Her getting on Instagram and telling people to be nice to her ex is not happening. In Ariana’s interview, she says she understands Sandoval might have had thoughts and feelings, but they’re based on a situation he created where he didn’t give a f*** about anyone else’s mental health. She knows she’s being a bitch to say this, but she feels like it’s a little bit annoying. Ariana says, Sandoval is a scary person, and she doesn’t trust him. It all feels manipulation to her. Ugh, I hate to say it, but I kind of agree. Only because of how he acts like he’s the victim, but then switches it on for someone like Lisa. I’m not so sure his dark thoughts aren’t contrived.

James visits Lala and asks if a baby bottle is hers or Ocean’s, and she tells him, f*** you. It’s not hers, but we flash back to when she had one with her on a group trip that was her own. She asks James how long he’s been sober, and he says, three months. Jumping right into it, she asks, what made him want to get sober? He doesn’t have to tell her if he doesn’t want to. He says, there’s not much to tell. When the Sandoval and Raquel stuff happened, emotions were flowing. He and Ally were fighting, and when he was drunk, he made nasty comments. After he wrote something on Instagram, Ally stayed with her sister. She was gone for two nights, and the cats were gone. The place was empty, and it wasn’t the same energy that was there before. We flash back to 2019, and Raquel telling James that he has to get his sh*t together. In James’s interview, he says, he quit, but then after he and Raquel broke up, he figured he was single and could do what he wanted. He’s doing it for himself this time. He tells Lala that he was going to do anything to get Ally back and basically, that’s the deal. Lala asks if he’s looking at it like forever, and he says he is. If he didn’t have that mentality, he couldn’t do it. He doesn’t want to be an alcoholic 40-year-old who loses everything. Lala says, he can come to her with anything, and she’ll never share anything. In Lala’s interview, she says, she’ll never have a relationship like she does with James. They started off as two kids being trainwrecks – we flash back to Lala saying she sees no one has worked on their summer bodies, and James making fun of Katie – to getting into relationships to their sobriety journeys. It’s hard to find someone like that, who you’re bonded with for life. She tells James that she makes time for the people she loves, and James says, she’s gone miles. He’s proud of her.

Jo cuts Schwartz’s hair at his apartment, and in his interview, he says, she’s the light in his life. We flash back to Schwartz telling Scheana that he and Jo are just friends. Schwartz tells Jo that everyone thinks she’s his secret romance, but he gets the optics. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, Jo was never living with him, although she was staying with him sporadically. She’s not his girlfriend and never was. They had a whirlwind romance, but they’re just buds now. Sandoval comes over, and I note how nicely the floor sweeps up as Jo takes a broom to it. Schwartz tells Sandoval about his conversation with Lisa, and says he booked a sick-ass lake cabin. Ariana and Katie won’t be there good, but he thinks it would be neutral ground for some one-on-ones if Sandoval can leave his ego at home and say he’s sorry. Sandoval says he can tell Lala that he’s sorry he gave her so much content for her podcast and she sold merchandise. She’s not understanding what she did. She showed an entire nation how to treat them. People followed their lead. Um… I don’t even listen to their podcast, and I hate these two, so, no. Schwartz says, this energy is not going to serve Sandoval well, and in Schwartz’s interview, he says, the tone of they don’t know what they’ve done to me worries him. He doesn’t want to undermine Sandoval’s feelings, but he doesn’t think it will be productive. He’s optimistic about Tahoe, but he doesn’t expect it to miraculously cleanse everyone’s memory. He’s just hoping it opens the door a little. He tells Sandoval, something cosmically changed. He’s not saying to let everyone walk on him, but he thinks people are in a place where they’re ready to talk and not necessarily coming after him. Wow. Sandoval is seriously a narcissistic a-hole.

Scheana’s friend Tory comes over to babysit, and in Scheana’s interview, she says she and Brock have dinner plans with James and Ally. As much as she trusts Tory, she’s anxious leaving Summer with someone who’s not her mom. She did call her sister Cortney to help. Trust issues. When they get to the restaurant, Brock says, she’s making progress, and she says, baby steps. James and Ally meet them, and they get some kind of wristbands to tap when they want a drink. Since it’s a self-serve set-up, I’m not sure if it just keeps the tab, unlocks the drink lever, both, or D) none of the above. Scheana says she had a conversation with Lisa before the pool party. She had tears in her eyes and said, after her brother’s suicide, she’s seen similarities in Sandoval. Lisa thinks they should go easier than they have been. James says Lisa called him and asked if he had a minute, and we see a clip of Lisa FaceTiming James and asking for ten minutes of his time. James asks if he’s in trouble, and she says, always a little. Scheana says, it’s going to be the same thing. She doesn’t want Sandoval to do something and then it’s too late. Brock thinks it’s not fair to put that on her, and Ally says she knows she’s going to feel bad. She’s nervous about Tahoe. In Ally’s interview, she says she has no personal issue with Sandoval. He’s been welcoming and kind, but she feels uneasy around him seeing how he hurt James. She doesn’t want to be fake, so she’s preparing for awkwardness. Scheana texts Schwartz to see if he invited Sandoval, and yes, he did. Brock says, there’s a hotel down the street, if need be, but James says he’s not stressing. Brock says, it’s not like they’re picking a side. They all know what Sandoval did was wrong. Ally says, they can ride for Ariana, but have empathy for someone who f***ed up their own life.  

At Vanderpump Dogs, Lisa asks the marketing director if she’s sure it’s him, and Summer (not the same one) says, 100%. James comes in, and Lisa asks if he wasn’t worried about Graham. We see a clip from two weeks earlier where James says he doesn’t know where Graham is. Graham comes down the stairs, and Lisa says, he’s been rescued. James cries and in his interview, he says, the second he touched Graham, he could see it was him. He’s got the same wiggle he’s had since he was a puppy. Lisa says she got a call that he’d been in a foster home for two months and bitten a couple of times. They were taking him to a shelter and asked if Lisa would take him. Thank God they knew Lisa, patron saint of dogs. In James’s interview, he says he feels anger and sadness and he’s confused. Graham is his best friend and it’s a dream come true that he’s back. He tells Lisa that he was expecting to talk about Sandoval and thanks her. He’d hoped Graham was in a good place. Lisa says, Graham belongs with James. Does he want to take him? James says, his first thought was of Ally, but they have to make it work. There’s a reason this is happening. It’s meant to be. In his interview, he says, whenever he sees a Goldendoodle, the most popular dog in L.A., he thinks of Graham. Then he shakes it off and gets back to his day. Now he’ll be able to hold and hug his destiny. Graham had made his way back to his true home. He leaves with Graham Cracker.

Again we see the Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 988. I have no clue how that works or if it’s set up for every city.

Next time, Brock questions Scheana about why she doesn’t want to leave Summer with anyone but her mother; James brings Graham home and introduces him to Ally’s cat; Lake Tahoe; and howling at the moon.

💃🏾 Shaking It Off…

Join me tomorrow for soap and finally, the finale of RHOBH. Until then, stay safe, stay engaging in genuine conversations, and stay practicing forgiveness and not wearing trauma like a badge of honor.