While I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

As they walk into a contemporary restaurant playing loud music, Trina asks Stella how she even knows about this place, and Stella says she meets people. They tell her things. Trina says she wouldn’t think this would be Stella’s scene, and Stella says, because? Trina says she didn’t think Stella was cool enough, and Stella says she’s been cool since before Trina was born. Trina says she’s sorry. She shouldn’t have presumed like that. When Trina calls her Aunt Stella, Stella tells Trina, it’s Stella in here. She has a reputation. And since they haven’t had a girls’ night out in forever, she thought this would be the perfect place to get it going again. Josslyn joins them, apologizing for being late. She was helping Brook with her bachelorette party. Stella says, it was nice of her to help out, and Josslyn says, it was nice of them to invite her to dinner. She hasn’t been here. Stella says, not every place is for everybody, and Trina says, Stella’s a regular. Josslyn says she happens to know a place where they can dance all night and have free food and drinks if they’re interested, and Stella asks, where is this mystical place? Josslyn says, The Savoy, and Stella tells her, Curtis said he was closing it up for tonight. Trina says, he did, but then he said he had someplace to be and was out the door, and Stella wonders what that was about. Trina says, it had to be good because he said he wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Curtis gets a bullseye at the hatchet range, and tells Drew, that’s how it’s done. You always want to give it your best shot. This right here requires the utmost of finesse. Drew picks up a hatchet and tells him, when the good Lord was handing out finesse, he got in line twice. He hits the circle furthest from the center, and Curtis says, maybe he should have gotten in line three times, but Drew says he’s just getting warmed up. Ned tells Curtis, be careful. When Drew gets warmed up, he may try to take down the whole wall and keep a couple pieces for himself. Drew says, seriously? Ned’s party banter needs work. Michael says he’s calling a cease-fire. No Quartermaine in-fighting tonight. Consider it a warmup for the wedding.

Brook thanks everyone for coming. Seeing everyone, she’s at a loss for words. Maxie suggests someone take a picture. This could be the only time something like this happens. Everyone laughs, and Brook says she’s going to speak for twice as long now. But in all seriousness, they’ve shared so much over the years. She thought it was only right and necessary to share this unbelievable celebration with all of them, her family and her friends. She’s never done this before, so she’s kind of nervous to be honest. Seeing all of their beautiful, loving, supportive faces, she knows in her heart she’s… She chokes up and Maxie says, she’s got this. Brook says she’s got this. Cheers. Everyone says, cheers, and they clink glasses.

Dante says, PSA. As they get going here, let’s try to remember which hand has the drink and which hand has the hatchet. They do have a doctor in the house, but it would be a real bust if he’s got to spend his night stitching them up. Another thing is, he knows some of them think they’re only here for the open bar and the free food, but that’s not the case. They showed up tonight for this guy – he points to Chase – because he shows up for them every, single day. The best partner a cop could ever want and the worst wingman he’s ever seen in his life. They’re very grateful to Brook for taking the single, yet never ready to mingle, Harrison Chase off the market. Chase says he’s not even embarrassed about that, and Dante says, nor should he be. There are plenty of other things he should be embarrassed about. Brook isn’t one of them. She knows she’s out of his league, right? Chase says, how could she not? Finn says he heard Brook say he’s a better partner to her than he is to Dante, and Ned says, if he isn’t, he knows where Chase lives, and he knows where to get a hatchet. Dante lifts his beer bottle and says, to Chase, and everyone toasts.

Lois says, everyone needs to try the signature cocktail, the Brook Lynn Chaser, and there are mocktail versions if they want one. Salut. At the bar, Kristina asks for a mocktail, and Blaze says, make it two. Kristina says, Blaze doesn’t need to deprive herself on her account, but Blaze says she’s not. Tonight is special, and she wants to be clear-headed for all of it. Tracy asks Lois, where’s the music? and Lois gasps and says she forgot the music. How could she forget the music? Tracy knows people, doesn’t she? Tracy says, oh yes, she knows people. The Port Charles Philharmonic is going to be here in ten minutes. Lois says, she’s no help, and Tracy says, they’ve discussed this. She writes checks. Lois chases musicians. Lois hasn’t done it in a long time, but maybe she has numbers? Lois wonders what they’re going to do, and Olivia asks, what’s the deal with the music? (Um… doesn’t The Savoy have a sound system with music already cued up for when there isn’t a band?) Lois asks if they want her to sing, but both Tracy and Olivia say, no, they don’t. Sasha joins them and says, hold the singing. The music just arrived. Spinelli walks in, and Lois says, please tell her that he’s not the stripper.

Stella says, if Curtis closed the club for Brook’s party, that means… Trina says, the somewhere he had to be was Chase’s bachelor party, and Josslyn says, that’s at the hatchet range. Stella says, drinking beer and throwing hatchets, that’s a bad combination. What could go wrong? Trina says she’s just glad he got out. After everything he’s been through, he deserves to cut loose and have some fun. Stella tells her, the same could be said for some other people too, and Josslyn says, if Trina wants to cut loose tonight, then they should go to Brook’s party. She’s surrounded by her friends and family, and half of them are crazy, but in a really good way. Trina says she doesn’t know. They didn’t even get an invitation. Josslyn says, they did, from the mother of the bride herself, and Stella says she’ll be right back. She leaves, and Trina says she doesn’t know if she feels well enough to go to a big party where people are happy, and she doesn’t even have a gift. Josslyn says, she doesn’t need a gift. It’s already handled. They got Brook a spa getaway at the MetroCourt. It’s one party and they know everybody there. And if she hates it, they’ll leave. Stella says, they’d better get going. They don’t want to miss out on anything. Trina says, but they’re having dinner with her, and Stella says, not anymore. She gave their table away. Trina can have dinner with her anytime. Brook’s party is only happening tonight. Go. Josslyn asks if Stella wants to come, but Stella says, no thank you, but she thinks Trina’s had enough family lately and should cut loose with people she’s not related to. Go. Josslyn and Trina thank Stella, and she tells them to have a good time.

Brook says she’s so glad Willow is here, and Willow says she wouldn’t have missed it. They hug, and Willow asks what Brook thinks of her mom’s vision. Brook says, she definitely knows how to party, and Willow says, Lois may have to remind her, because she hasn’t been to a party party in forever. Brook says, they’ll have to catch her up tonight, and Willow says, that is the plan. First, she wants Brook to know how happy she is for her. Nobody knows better than she does what a great guy Brook is marrying. Brook says she feels so lucky that she and Chase found each other. That they got past all their regrettable decisions… her regrettable decisions, and got here. Willow says, she’ll probably make some more and so will Chase, but now she knows they have the power to get through it together. Brook says, she’s so wise, and Willow says, she’s so married. Laugh a lot; forgive a lot. Brook says, how hard can that be? and Willow says, right? They’ll never have a rocky day in their married life. She and Chase are perfect for each other, so they’ll probably have fewer than most couples. Brook thanks her and they hug.

Maxie says she has to thank Sasha again for saving Deception’s bacon on Home & Heart the other day. If Lucy had talked about their product as much as she talked about herself, they could have all retired. Sasha says she thinks she learned more about Lucy during that segment than in the whole time they worked together, and Maxie says, so did America… and the world. Sasha says, they have the footage and one day, they’re going to watch it and laugh. Maxie says, not now though. Too soon. She has to let Sasha know though, that for self-preservation, she’s moved Sasha to the number one spot on her speed dial list. Sasha says she’s always here for Maxie and she’s always happy to help. Plus, it feels really good to say she’s not the Face of Deception anymore. Maxie says, that makes one of them, and Sasha asks how it’s going with Blaze. She’s lovely. Maxie says, she really is, inside and out, but the ink is barely dry on her contract, so she hasn’t really done much with them yet. Sasha says she’s sure they’ll be great, and Maxie says, things must be better for Sasha. All this free time to be spending with Cody. Are they going to be planning another bachelorette party soon? Sasha says she doesn’t know. Is Maxie going to take the next step with Spinelli? Maxie says, okay.

Spinelli says, it’s like he’s been granted entry into the inner sanctum of the sisterhood, and Tracy says, it’s a bridal shower, not a sorority. Maxie runs over, grabs Spinelli, and says, let’s get him set up over here.

Maxie takes Spinelli to a table on the side, and he says he just needs a moment to hook his playlist into the sound system, and they will soon be rocking the Casbah. She says she’s going to need to see that playlist, and he says he’ll have her know it was a huge hit at Bruce Cooperman’s bar mitzvah last week. She says, yeah. She’s going to need to see it.

Sasha says, those two work so well together, and Brook says, they really do. Sasha says, but they keep fighting it, and Brook says, they’re stubborn. Willow says, they’ll give in eventually. It’s just a matter of time. Sasha says, no matter how hard you try, you can’t fight it forever, and Willow says she guesses Sasha would know something about that.

Michael gets a bullseye, and Drew asks how he did that. Michael says he has no idea, but that is his first and last shot of the night. Jordan says, seeing Curtis up and out of that wheelchair is miraculous, and he says, it feels better than she might imagine. The view from up here is a lot better than the view from down there. She says, he had front row seats to a lot of belt buckles, huh? and he says, a lot of belt buckles. He wouldn’t be back on his feet, literally and figuratively, if it were not for his family. She says she’s really happy for him, and he says, back at her. How exciting is it that TJ and Molly are expecting? She says, her baby is having a baby. Nobody tells you how weird it is the first few times you say it. They clink beer bottles.

Dante tells Anna that he thinks he’s done with the desk duty thing, and she says, after one day? What does his physical therapist say? He says, it’s cool. He’s good. Everything is coming along fine. She says, for a man who almost died, yeah. Just keep going to therapy and don’t miss any sessions. He doesn’t have to push, and it bears repeating, he almost died. Brennan says, she’s right. No sweating. They’ve got him covered. Chase says, he’s doing invaluable work at the station… behind a desk, and Dante thanks him for gloating. Chase says he feels nothing but sympathy for Dante. All those months he was off, he would have given anything to get back on the job. Anna says she’s very lucky to have both of them. Not everyone’s cut out to be a cop, right? And when you are, you’re to be honored and thanked. Dante is invaluable. He really is. They clink beer bottles. Dex walks into the hatchet range, and the cops all turn and look at him.

Chase says, Dex made it, and shakes his hand. He’s glad Dex is here. Dex thanks Chase for inviting him, and Chase says, Dex worked his tail off on the job standard test today. He deserves a few beers. Dex says, looks like there are a couple of guys in here who think he deserves one of those – he points to a hatchet – to the back of the head, and Chase says, some of them probably do. And some of them just look like that all the time. But Dex is here to celebrate the end of Chase’s bachelorhood – he gets louder – and Dex is here on his invitation. So it is officially time for Dex to kick back and enjoy. Dex thanks him, and Chase says, he’d tell Dex, any day, but if he keeps performing like he did this morning on the GSD, he’s not going to need anybody running interference for him.

Finn asks Anna if every recruit has to run the gauntlet, and she nods. He says he supposes she has more than five cops on the force, and she says, Dex might get more attention than the others, but his last job was riding shotgun for Sonny. Is Finn’s dad going to come here tonight? He says, no. He’s home with Violet and the sitter, which reminds him, he can’t stay out much longer than midnight tonight. She says, he turns into a pumpkin? and he says, yeah, and that’s when the sitter leaves.

Lois says, please tell her that they’re good to go, and Spinelli says, it was more complicated… Maxie clears her throat, and Spinelli hands Lois a microphone and says, take it away, boss. Lois welcomes everybody and says, in case she hasn’t met them yet, don’t worry, she will. She’s Lois Cerullo and she’s the mother of the bride. And tonight, they’re celebrating Brook Lynn. Everyone applauds, and Lois says she can’t tell them how proud she is of her daughter. She is juggling the music biz, the beauty biz, and true love, and she’s doing such a beautiful job, in spite of her family. We can be a lot. Tracy says, there’s no we, but Lois says, there is a we. Anyway – she walks over to Brook – Brook brings out the best in all of them and she wishes she could take credit for that, but she can’t. Because for the first time she ever looked at this beautiful face, she knew she was the lucky one to be her mother. So they are all so lucky to have Brook in their lives. Chase is a lucky man. Brook says she’s lucky too, but Lois says, come on. This is her night. Chase is having his own night. And by the way, if anyone wants to see any baby pictures of Brook, she has her phone… Olivia says, okay, okay, wrestling the mic from her. Let the games begin.

Jordan says, not only is Curtis standing, but he’s throwing hatchets better than everybody else? and Curtis says he worked on his arms in physical therapy too. He also did a lot of processing. He thought he was never going to walk again. Now that he is, there are some things he wants to do, places he wants to go. He wants to walk, run, climb, hike, swim, and there’s some people he wants to give his time and energy to. Jordan says, and some people he doesn’t? and he says, yeah. There are some things he thought were important before that just don’t seem to matter now. There were chances he took where the reward was never going to match the risk, and he doesn’t know if it was fate, the universe, or whatever, but he has new opportunity for a reset and he doesn’t want to waste it. She says, here is to fate, the universe, and that reset. No one deserves it more. He thanks her, when Drew approaches. He says, excuse him. Jordan is up. She says she guesses she is and walks to the throwing spot with him.

Jordan asks if she and Drew said they were going to play against each other, and he tells her that they didn’t say they weren’t. She says she has no idea what she’s doing, and he says, it’s a bachelor party, so just go ahead – he hands her a hatchet – and throw. She’s got this. She hits the outermost circle and says, that was awful. He says, that was not awful. Most people hit outside the board the first time. That was actually pretty good. She thanks him and thanks him for the save, and he says he has no idea what she’s talking about. She says, don’t misunderstand. She’s happy for Curtis. His recovery is a miracle. He says, but it’s still not easy running into your ex in public. He gets it. She says, he can tell, huh? and he says, only because he’s been there. You’ve got to hang out with your ex, and you’ve got to talk about how things are going and put that smile on your face like your life depends on it. She says she’s been smiling for so long, she thought her face would cramp up, and he says, then there’s the conversation. She says, I’ve moved on, you’ve moved on. Isn’t moving on the best? He says, but you’re happy right? Because I’m so happy too. So happy it hurts.

The women play Pictionary, and Maxie draws what looks like a crude mushroom. Sasha says, table, and Maxie says, this is a wedding theme, and adds something. Lois says, hors d’oeuvres tray, and Maxie says, close. Sasha says, it’s a cake tray, and Maxie says, she’s getting warmer. Blaze says, cake pedestal, and Maxie says, finally. Willow draws next, and various answers are yelled out – rose petals, cookies, a sachet, pearls, a gown and peignoir. Olivia says, bird seed, and Willow points to her. Everyone cheers.

Brook reads from a folded paper: Hotel Bergamot, Ithaca, walking in and finding Brook a little overwhelmed, but completely determined with a baby in her arms. Tracy says, that’s not Lois? and Lois says, no. Liv? Olivia says, not her, and Brook says she’ll give them a hint. She called her cousin Michael for a ride, and he brought the person he trusts most in this world. They all say, Willow. Brook reads: Standing on stage at the Nurses Ball, watching Linc Brown get escorted out by Detective Dante Falconari, courtesy of Brook Lynn’s epic takedown. Kristina says, Blaze, and Blaze says, one of her favorite moments ever. Brook says, hers too, and Tracy says, excellent. Spinelli starts some music as the women sit in a circle, passing a bouquet around. Apparently, whoever ends up with it when the music stops is out. The group thins out until it’s just Lois and Tracy passing it back and forth. Lois ends up with the bouquet, and Brook says, the winner and champion, granny. Tracy takes a bow, and Lois hands her the bouquet, saying, here’s your prize.

Tracy tosses the bouquet next to Spinelli’s laptop and says, Mr. Spinelli. She’d like to know the truth please. Was he instructed to make sure she won? He assures her that he was completely impartial, and she says, uh-huh. Well, if she ever finds herself at an event again where he is DJ, she’d better not win. Is she clear? He says, crystal.

Blaze says she’s seen Sasha’s Deception campaign. She’s going to be a hard act to follow. Sasha says, nothing Blaze can’t handle. She’s going to be great. Stick with Maxie. She knows what she’s doing. Blaze says she saw Sasha on Home & Heart. She made it look really easy. Sasha says, it’s easy when the products are great, and the people are really great too… most of the time. Blaze asks why she left, and Sasha says, it was time for a change, and honestly, she got tired of worrying about her looks all the time. She’s sure Blaze knows what she’s talking about, since she’s a performer. Blaze says, ugh. It can be exhausting worrying about what the public sees when they look at you. Sasha says, it can be a lot easier when you have someone special standing beside you, and Blaze says, it really is. Kristina touches Blaze’s arm.

Spinelli takes photos of the women in pairs and in groups, holding props. Lois tells Tracy that she looks like nobody paid her ransom, and Tracy asks if she’s supposed to be enjoying this. Kristina kisses Blaze, and he takes a photo.

Dante says, since they’ve all savaged the fact Chase isn’t a regular bachelor, they thought the typical bachelor party gifts would end up in an attic somewhere that his kids discover in twenty years or a landfill. They decided to get him a couple of things that were a little more meaningful. So take this out of his hand right now. It was painful to get for him. He’ll understand as soon as he opens it up. Chase removes the tissue from the giftbag and takes out a baseball in a display box. He says, are they kidding him? The Red Sox World Series champs. Dante says, just remember, the Yankees have won the Series 27 times. It’s still Red Sox 9. They have a lot of catching up to do. Chase says, that doesn’t make this any less sweet. He thanks Dante, and Dante tells him, congratulations, hugging him. Finn says, this is nowhere near as spectacular, but it’s from his family. They love him and couldn’t be happier for him. He hands Chase a box and says, Violet picked it out. Chase says, she did? but Finn tells him that he just said that. He couldn’t decide and she picked those. Chase opens a jewelry box and finds cufflinks. He says, Finn’s daughter’s got good taste, and Finn says, Chase does too. Brook is special. Chase says, doesn’t he know it, and Finn tells him, congratulations, and they hug. Chase thanks them all for not putting him through the ordeal of opening bachelor appropriate gifts. The real gift is having them all here celebrating with him. And yes, he knows Brook is way too good for him, but he still gets to marry her. Anna says, to Chase and Brook Lynn, and they all clink beer bottles. On the outskirts of the crowd, Dex looks lost. He goes up to a group, but they ignore him. Dante notices.

Josslyn tells Trina that it’s an open bar and the drinks are Brook Lynn Chasers. She goes to the bar, and nearly collides with Kristina, who’s on her way back. Kristina says, sorry about that, but Josslyn says, it’s fine, and continues to the bar. Kristina tells Blaze, that couldn’t have been more awkward, and Blaze says, not true. Kristina could have doused Josslyn with her drink. Kristina says she thought about it. Lois sees Trina and says she’s so glad Trina made it. Brook says, her too, and thanks Trina for coming, hugging her. Trina says, this place looks great, and Brook says, in large part to Josslyn, as Josslyn returns with the drinks. Josslyn says she was just taking orders. This is so exciting. Does Brook have any nerves? Brook says she does, but she’s been downing these Brook Lynn Chasers all night and never felt better. Lois asks them to tell her what they think, and Josslyn and Trina sip their drinks. Josslyn says she thinks they’re going to have some fun, and Lois says, the bar is open all night long. Unfortunately, they just finished the games… Olivia says, they’re doing more games later, but right now, they’re doing the gifts.

Brook opens an envelope and reads, a day of relaxation at the MetroCourt spa. Josslyn and Trina did perfect. She’s going to save it until after the honeymoon, because she’s going to have so much jet lag when they get back, she’s going to need some extra pampering. Trina asks where they’re going, and Brook says, Florence. Can they believe it? She’s wanted to go there her entire life and Chase surprised her. Lois says, this one is from her, handing Brook a jewelry box, and Brook opens it, seeing a vintage ring, a flower set with gemstones. Lois says, when Brook was a little girl, she used to always go through Lois’s jewelry box and try everything on, all her necklaces, her bracelets, her rings. All the real stuff and the costume jewelry, but this one was always her favorite, so now it’s hers. Brook hugs her and thanks her for everything.

Brennan asks if Dex has a death wish, and Dex says, death wish? Brennan says, whether or not Dex makes it through the academy and gets his badge, Sonny Corinthos never forgets. Dante asks if everything is cool, and Brennan says, it’s cool. Just giving the would-be rookie some advice. He leaves and Dante asks nearby group if they know Dex. Dex is one of the reasons he’s still alive and able to be here and keep them all in line. There’s little reaction, and Dex thanks him for trying. Dante says, Dex should probably be prepared for that to continue happening if he gets on the force.

Chase tells Finn that he appreciates the gift and the speech, and he won’t forget the gesture if Finn ever tries to take the leap again. Michael says he thinks Finn can make some woman moderately happy, and Finn laughs. Chase says he agrees with Michael, except not the moderate part. Finn deserves to have someone great in his life. Finn says he does have someone great in his life, but he knows what Chase means. Maybe he’s starting to believe that might be true. Chase says, believe it, when Ned taps a hatchet against his glass to get everyone’s attention. He says, for those of them who don’t know, he’s Ned Quartermaine, father of the bride. He tells Chase, since the dreaded day his daughter reached dating age, one thing has been abundantly clear. No one is good enough for her. But Chase comes closer than anybody ever has. Welcome to the family. They all raise their glasses and bottles, and Curtis says, most people know Chase the cop, but as a nightclub owner, he knows Chase the reluctant superstar. They laugh, and Curtis says, so here’s to Chase and Brook Lynn, bringing out the best in each other, on stage and off. They all say, cheers, and Dante says, and to his partner, even though he’s a Red Sox fan… He didn’t know until they started working together. He walks over to Chase and says, he’s more than a partner. He’s family. To you, brother, and to the life you’re about to embark on with your beautiful bride that you so richly deserve. Cheers. He clinks his bottle against Chase’s, and Chase thanks him. Everybody is cheersing and clinking and Chase couldn’t look happier.

Brook says, are they dancing or what? and Maxie says, hit it, Spinelli. Spinelli says, consider it – he hits the play key – hit, and the music starts. Brook dances up to Tracy and says, granny, would you do me the honor of this dance? Tracy says, Brook knows she doesn’t dance, but she’s certainly touched that Brook asked her. From the way she speaks, it looks like she’s been touched by those drinks as well. Brook says, let’s go, Trina, and takes Trina’s hand. You’re up. They go out onto the floor, while Lois and Olivia dance on the sidelines, and Olivia says, they’re great out there, aren’t they? Lois says, yeah. Too bad they don’t know what they’re doing though. This is even funnier seeing it, since their moves are outdated, and frankly, a little odd. They both yell, Bensonhurst in the house! and dance out onto the floor. This is the signal that gets everybody out there dancing. Kristina puts her hand on her stomach, and Blaze asks, what’s the matter? and Kristina says she felt the baby kick. Blaze says she wishes she could stay, but Kristina tells her, no. You have to go. Blaze says, Kristina is right. She does, but don’t forget, Kristina owes her a dance. She gives Kristina a quick kiss and leaves. Josslyn tells Tracy, come on. Let’s show them how it’s done. Tracy says, excuse me? and Josslyn says, this is Brook’s party. Tracy’s got to celebrate with her. Tracy sips her drink.

Josslyn says, if her grandmother was here, she’d be out on the floor, and Tracy says, you know what? You are so right. Bobbie would be. And she’ll have Josslyn know that the Spencers are not the only people who can rise to the occasion. Look out. She pushes Josslyn aside and dances out on to the floor, much to the delight of everyone, especially Brook. They start to say, go Tracy… go Tracy… and even Spinelli gets into the spirit. Kristina walks to the bar, and again, nearly walks into Josslyn. Kristina says, twice in one night. Is Josslyn following her? Josslyn says, my bad, and Kristina says she doesn’t know what Josslyn’s problem is with her, but she might as well just drop it. It’s not working. Josslyn says, her problem with Kristina is that she refuses to see her dad for who he really is, and she goes on and on like it’s some fairytale about Sonny Corinthos and completely ignores all the damage that he’s caused. Or tell her. Does Kristina really not know what he did to Dex?

Anna says she saw what Dante did with Dex and the guys just now, and Dante says he does feel like he owes Dex. Dex did keep him alive until the paramedics showed up. She says, but it’s also it’s the kind of thing Dante would do because he’s Dante, and he says he has to wonder if Dex’s connection to Sonny would trump any qualifications he has for joining the force. These guys aren’t going to let him off the hook. They’re all going to think he’s giving intel to Sonny. She says, Dex is going to have to prove himself, isn’t he? And she can’t help but wonder if Dante is worried that Dex would give the PCPD intel that would bring his father down. He looks at her, and she says, go join the party. Leave Dex to her. Finn asks if he can have everyone’s attention for a moment. They have a very special guest with them tonight. Some of them might now her as the other woman in Chase’s life. They’re all like, whoa, and Blaze runs in. She hugs Chase, and everyone applauds.

Blaze says she hopes they don’t mind her crashing their party, but when your former duet partner marries your current manager, you’ve got to celebrate, with a toast or buy a round or two. Finn puts a beer bottle in her hand, and she says, Chase is the kind of partner you dream about, and Brennan says, they have different dreams. Everyone laughs, and Blaze says, God, I hope so. Chase brings things to the stage that few ever can. First of all, he brings that incredible voice, but he also brings calm. And his calm creates a space where you can be great. It’s one of the most generous gifts she’s ever experienced in her career, and she’s sure they’ve all experienced the same generosity working with him. She loves Brook and she knows he’s going to be so great for her, because he already is for the rest of them. So let’s drink to this guy and the wedding to come. It’s gonna be one to remember. Once more, there are cheers and clinks.

Trina tells Willow that she’s having such a good time. Can they take a selfie? (I want to know what’s in that drink.) Willow says, of course (🍷), and Trina takes the photo. She says she didn’t think she wanted to come to the party, but her Aunt Stella insisted she come, and she was right. On the dance floor, Olivia says, they’ve still got it, and Lois says, they’ve more than got it. They’re teaching a masterclass out here. And they’ve got a happy Brook Lynn. Olivia says, they did it. The party’s a huge success. Lois says, it ain’t over until she’s dancing with her husband at the reception, and Olivia says, hallelujah. Kristina tells Josslyn, don’t drop your issues on me just because you’re drunk, and Josslyn says, excuse me? Kristina says she knows Josslyn has been drinking, and obviously, now she’s saying what she’s been waiting to say. It doesn’t even make sense. Dex doesn’t even work for her dad anymore. Josslyn says, does she want to know why Dex doesn’t work for her dad anymore? It’s the same reason she and Dex aren’t together. Kristina says, and why is that? Because he couldn’t stand her holier-than-thou attitude and her virtue signaling either? Josslyn says, no. It’s because Kristina’s beloved father send Dex to kill Cyrus when he was in the hospital. She guesses it wasn’t enough for Sonny to almost kill him with his bare hands in the church. He sent Dex to go finish the job. Maybe Kristina can live with that, but she can’t.

Tomorrow, Jordan asks Drew if she can confess something; Violet tells Finn that he has to help grandpa; Dex asks if Anna has changed her mind about him joining the PCPD; and Josslyn tells Jason that she did something she really regrets.

Vanderpump Rules

James is working on a baseline, and Ally says she didn’t sleep well. The cats kept trying to open the door. Jax stops by and says, it feels like he’s in Palm Springs. A plane goes by, and Ally says she’s used to living by an airport, but James doesn’t love it. In James’s interview, he says he and Jax have come a long way. They hated each other when they worked at SUR. We flash back to that, and James says, when Jax said he wanted to host a night at SUR, he thought, baby steps, and suggested brunch. Jax wants to get back in the ring. He misses SUR. James tells him that everyone is coming, and Jax says, Katie has been putting his picture around and telling everyone that he cheated on his wife. That she had to come after him pissed him off. In his interview, James says he hopes Jax isn’t cheating on Brittany, but Jax has a checkered past. He’s got to go with Katie out of history. James asks what Jax expects, and Jax says, to have fun, but he doesn’t know what he’s getting into, what his relationship is with Lisa. James says he feels the respect is broken, but Jax says he’s not bowing down to Lisa. James says, maybe he should bring flowers, and Jax says, be the bigger person. He can do that. Can he really?

Scheana and Summer are working on the alphabet, when Brittany comes over. In Scheana’s interview, she says she’s known Brittany a day less than Jax, and they’ve been so close ever since. They were pregnant at the same time, and their kids were born just weeks apart. Not many of Scheana’s friends get it like Brittany does. They can both talk about their husbands and the sh*t their husbands put them through at home. Brittany asks if Scheana is having any more children, but Scheana isn’t keen on the idea. Brittany says, this month, they’re officially trying, and Scheana says she figures Summer will start asking when she sees Ocean and Cruz have siblings. She tells Brittany that Brock has been getting on her nerves lately, and we flash back to that. She thinks he got offended about their date night anniversary. She thought they were planning a big thing. It’s not that she doesn’t want to go to dinner with him, but they can do that anytime. He said, but they don’t do it anytime.

Brock goes out for coffee with Luke, and says, Scheana knows they need a nanny, but she doesn’t want a stranger in the house or taking care of their kid. But he needs it so he can step away. It adds tension to the relationship with Scheana being the main breadwinner. Luke says, Brock knew that coming in, and Brock says, since they sold the gym, they’re not hustling anymore. In Brock’s interview, he says he thought he was going to be a farmer. Then growing up, he played rugby and always had eyes on the horizon. The hardest thing is knowing he’s not bringing in money. A career gives him more purpose. He wants to live up to the standard he set for himself.

Scheana tells Brittany about Brock disliking not bringing in the money, and Brittany says she could tell there was a shift when it happened with her and Jax. They were fighting more about it. A lot of family men don’t express that. Scheana says she thinks that’s what it is, and in Scheana’s interview, she says, the standards men and women feel they have to meet have a misogynist old appeal. Why can’t there be a stay-at-home dad with the woman making the money? It should be however it works for you. She tells Brittany that her OCD and anxiety were bad, and she got on Zoloft. Brittany asks if she’s still taking it, but Scheana says, no. It made her feel tired and she needed her energy for Summer. Brittany asks if it’s been worse since summer, and Scheana says, so much worse. She’s having intrusive thoughts. She trusts Brock – he’s amazing – but people make comments about him and Lala, and tell her, watch out. And her brain goes there even though she doesn’t believe it. So when she thinks of getting a nanny, she thinks, imagine if your husband left you for the nanny. She hates it when her brain goes there. Brittany says, she’ll get through this. She’ll figure something out. Scheana says she will.

Katie and Schwartz meet at Mel’s Diner, and in Katie’s interview, she says, part of her wants some type of friendship with Schwartz. Having spent so much time with him and then becoming strangers, she can’t wrap her head around that. Schwartz says he’s in a good mood, and Katie says she’s seeing a lot of things happening, like his hair. He asks if she likes it, and she asks why he did it. He says he felt something deep within. He’s getting a tattoo. Does she want to come? She asks how did his hair, and he says, Jo and Lena. They asked him to post a photo for the salon. He tells her about what happened with Jo, and says he was clear that he didn’t want to date or have a girlfriend. They’re taking a break from hanging out. Jo asked if was embarrassed of her and it made him feel sad. Katie says, it’s his own fault for being elusive, and he says he’s in a weird place. He asks if she’s looking for a life partner or just having fun, and she says she doesn’t know. He asks how her date with Tori was, and she says, good. Tori liked her more than Schwartz. They banter about who Tori likes more, and in Schwartz’s interview, he says he thinks this is Katie’s way of saying she misses hanging out. It’s their post-divorce love language. She’s dating the women he wants to date. Katie asks if Schwartz is trying to compete with her, and he says, maybe subconsciously. She says, he wanted a hair glow up because she had one, and he says he must have missed that.

Brock and Scheana go out to eat, and Scheana tells Brock that he looks handsome. When he was getting dressed, she was looking at his juicy bootie. She brought toys for the hotel. In Scheana’s interview, she says, she’s been looking forward to their anniversary. They’ve been at each other’s throats, but they made the decision to marry, and this is her person for life. She was smart this time and got a prenup, but she doesn’t even know where it is. She doesn’t think she’ll need it this time around. She tells him that they need more one on one date nights. At home, they’re exhausted or at each other, and he wants to escape. He says that he spoke to Luke about it. When he moved to the US, he visualized what he’d be doing, but he didn’t make it in the NFL. He’s not successful and she’s the main breadwinner. He wants to take the pressure off so she can enjoy herself. Scheana says he does that when he’s available and present for their daughter when she has to work. He needs to put his manliness and ego aside. Maybe this is his second chance at being a dad. She tears up and Brock gets emotional. He says he can’t believe they’re crying, and in Brock’s interview, he says he doesn’t want a pity party, but when he thinks back to being a parent to his other two… We flash back to Brock’s child support and visitation troubles, and he says, if he could talk to his 19-year-old self, he’d say, you’ll figure it out. Now he wants to work on building a relationship with his older kids, so maybe one day they’ll bring him back into their lives. Scheana says, Brock is tenacious and the most amazing person. He doesn’t see how much he’s worth. It makes her feel like they’re not enough. A server comes with a sparkler in a cake for their anniversary, and Brock says he thinks they need to have more conversations with the therapist. He loves her. She says she loves him too, and they kiss. Aww!

Schwartz tells Sandoval, the show pony is here. Come saddle up. Sandoval jumps over the door to get into the car, and I’m just like, ugh. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, this is no mid-life crisis. It’s a mid-life revival. In Sandoval’s interview, he says, it’s a trashy mid-life crisis. Like he should talk. His mid-life crisis is trashy, messy, painful, you name it. They go to a tattoo parlor to meet artist Rusty. Schwartz says he’s getting a tattoo of Gordo and Butters, and in his interview, Schwartz says he loves tattoos. We flash back to his getting one with Katie’s nickname and changing another one to LVP. He says, now it’s Gordo and Butters. He’s becoming the tattoo guy. They talk about going to San Francisco, and Schwartz says, Ariana is coming. Sandoval says he thinks they’re sitting together, which I find doubtful. In Schwartz’s interview, he says, Kyle Chan is releasing a whiskey and invited them. We see a clip with Kyle, and Schwartz says, it’s a big deal. They’re bringing in statues and it’s on an island. They have to take a boat. It’s crazy. Schwartz asks if there’s an update on the house, and Sandoval says he thinks they can live together. Schwartz says, the bar almost ruined him, and in his interview, he says his last high-stake venture with Sandoval is still haunting him. Sandoval says he has a soda gun and beer taps. If he can live with his ex… The stool he’s sitting on pops out a spring or something and he ends up face down on the floor, which is pretty damn amusing. Schwartz says, it’s karma, and Sandoval says, he’s getting a lot these days.

Ally and James go to the Face Gym, and in James’s interview, he says he’s not about plastic surgery. This is natural. Tight is important. It looks like a weird kind of facial/face massage, and the woman says, it’s like 600 sit-ups for your face. In his interview, James says he does have pretty boy energy. Ask his mom. Ally asks if he’s texted anyone about pet sitting, and in James’s interview, he says, they were planning on going out of town to Ohio for Ally’s best friend’s wedding, but Hippie just got back and there hasn’t been enough time for him to be comfortable finding a stranger to watch him. James is worried that no one will know how to separate the cats and the dog, and Ally suggests giving someone a chance. She doesn’t want to get in the habit of not going anywhere. She made a sacrifice of not sleeping with the cats. He has to make compromises somewhere.

Ariana works out on the treadmill as she talks to new boyfriend Dan. She asks if he’s coming to San Francisco, and he asks if that’s what she wants. She says, yes, please. They don’t have to hang out with everybody, but she thinks it will be great when it’s bedtime. He asks if she’s coming for the cuddles. Craig asks to come in and get a few things and asks how long she thinks she’ll be. She says, another ten minutes, and he leaves. She tells Dan, that’s the assistant, and Dan asks if she heard back about the counteroffer. She says, no, but the assistant asked if they could have the downstairs to meet with a realtor. Dan says, at least it’s moving along. She says she hopes so, and he says, if not, how does she recover?  

The girls get together at SUR, and Schwartz and Sandoval show up. Katie calls Schwartz Ken Doll, and Scheana wants to see the tattoo. She says, it’s so cute, and I have to admit, it is. James is meeting Lisa about the brunch idea, and Lisa tells her partner that Jax disrespected her publicly. We hear a clip of Jax smack talking Lisa on a podcast. He’s dead to me. James comes to the table, and Lisa says she didn’t know he was hosting with Jax. In Lisa’s interview, she says, it was pretty detrimental, and she’s given him many chances. We flash back to some of Jax’s stupid behavior, and she says, if he’s going to negate her publicly, why have an event at her restaurant? Jax joins them and asks if he can sit. She says, if he has to, and he says he does if she doesn’t mind. She says she kind of does, and he asks if she wants him to stand. She says she doesn’t want him here, acting like everything is cool and cozy, when he said she was superfluous on the podcast. He says he doesn’t know what that word means, and James looks it up, telling him it means unnecessary. Lisa tells him that she could have said he wasn’t needed, and he whines that she hasn’t checked in with him and Brittany for some time. She wrote him off after 10 years, over something he said wrong in the heat of the moment. He apologizes, and James wants to move on. He’s got to DJ. He asks if it’s okay for Jax to stay, and Jax asks if he can give Lisa a hug. He says he loves her and hugs her, and Lisa says she kind of loves him too, but he’s kind of f***ing annoying.

James does his thing, and Jax wanders over to the girls’ table. Lala says, it’s a blast from her present, and in Katie’s interview, she says she’s not a fan of Jax. When you need to talk about how much you’ve changed and need to sell yourself, it’s lies. Jax says he’s not a gossiper and they all laugh, all the viewers no doubt laughing with them. Jax asks if Ariana is aware Schwartz may be moving into her home. We see a clip of Schwartz telling Jax that he got an indecent proposal and not to tell anyone. Wow. Schwartz is denser than I thought. Might as well put it on a billboard. Jax asks if Ariana is okay, and Ariana says she’d love to know where her money is. Lala suggests they’re getting Ariana out and taking over. In Ariana’s interview, she says, once she gets what’s rightfully hers, she doesn’t give a f***. They can call it the Mojo Dojo Kaka House for the next century. At the bar, James asks if Sandoval wants to come back to the house after this.

At James’s house, Jax says he’s got a babysitter, and his wife isn’t home, so he’s ready to have fun. The guys go into the backyard, and Katie says she and Ally had dinner. She asked how it was going with Hippie and the cats, and Ally feels she’s made sacrifices. We see a clip of Ally telling Katie that her best friend’s wedding is in Ohio, and now James can’t go. Katie says, James only wants Harry to watch the dogs, and Harry is busy. James joins them and asks, what’s up? Katie says, Ally mentioned how important the wedding is and that she was looking forward to him being there. James says his brother is out of town, and Katie suggests he get someone else, but James says, maybe next year. He’s not ready yet. Lala says, Ally supports him with everything, and she’s taken on a dog she didn’t sign up for. Katie says, they all have animals. It’s not like they don’t understand. James says, Hippie is his furbaby. They’ve got babies. How many nannies have they gone through? He doesn’t trust anybody. Ariana says she understands, and James says he’s not going to let anything keep them apart. In James’s interview, he says, no one else understands. His and Hippie’s souls are literally joined. He wants to baby and take care of him. Aww! I understand, James. Lala says, like she doesn’t understand dropping her baby off with a random woman, and in her interview, she says, don’t compare it to her finding childcare. It’s clear that in the relationship, James comes first and Ally second. She can’t allow a man to ever come first.

Outside, Jax says he’s gonna drink, and Scheana suggests that every time Jax says he’s a dad, they take a drink. They’re going to be f***ed up. James tells Schwartz that Jax was talking sh*t about Katie, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t happy about her reddit. In Katie’s interview, she says, there have been rumors on the internet that thousands saw. Now Jax is blaming her for the rumors being out there. The man doesn’t know how the internet works. Jax rants about Katie doing this to his family, and in her interview, Katie says, Jax has always been completely unhinged. We flash back to Jax being unhinged, and she says, that’s why she doesn’t f*** with him. She feels bad for Brittany, but her husband is disgusting.

Schwartz tells Ariana that he wants to address something. Jax promised not to say anything about him moving in, but he’s not going to live there. He can’t afford it. After Sandoval’s refinance at 10%, it’s another $22,000. In Ariana’s interview, she says, this is hands down the most expensive bromance in history. Schwartz says, she’d hate him if he moved in, but she says, no. He says he thought she’d strike him down in vengeance, and Ariana says, when she’s out, someone has to pay the mortgage. Sandoval comes out with James and Kyle, and Scheana tells Brock that it’s Summer’s bedtime, and she’d like to put her down. Brock says he thought they were here for a fun time, but she says she had a fun time. Brock says, the problem is, she doesn’t want a nanny, and Scheana says she wants to read the Halloween book to Summer. She wants those moments. She tells Kyle that she’ll come by with the band and they can go over everything. She asks if Sandoval has heard her song, and Sandoval says, it’s not about the pasta song. It’s just been a lot from her. She says he has to understand that what he did to Ariana f***ed her up. So, as he put it, she decided to capitalize on it. Sandoval says, she’s 100 times more reactive than Ariana. All she had to do was not do that. Scheana says, all he had to do was not bring it up, and he says, she wasn’t cheated on. Scheana says, Raquel filed a restraining order, and off to the side, Ariana says, there’s a lot of male yelling going on and it’s making her uncomfortable. Sandoval says, it’s like if he steps on Kyle’s shoes and Kyle burns his house down. Scheana is acting more entitled to talk about the events in his life than he is. Ariana says she’s worried about Scheana, and Scheana says, now her thoughts are f***ed up. She worries about Brock and her best friend and Sandoval did that. She’s going home. Sandoval says, Scheana’s been the other woman, and she tells him, f*** you. Lala says, hell no, and Scheana says, she was 21 and it was in 2006. He’s f***ing 40. Sandoval says, she still did it, and there are lots of bleeps. Lala says, this is where she goes insane, and Katie says, he’s such a gross person. Ariana doesn’t want Scheana to leave like that and follows her out. She tells Scheana that everyone loves her, and they hug while Scheana cries. James criticizes Sandoval for bringing up bullsh*t from the past, and Sandoval asks if they aren’t trying to move on. Scheana leaves.

Next time, San Francisco; Schwartz asks Katie for one last time, a one-night stand; and Katie cries.

🍼 Volatile Valley…

This week, poor Brittany ended up getting shoved into a wall as collateral damage, and producers had to step in before there was a knockdown, drag out brawl. Ah, family life in suburbia.

New Revelations About Jesse, Michelle’s Marriage Cause Chaos on ‘The Valley’

I’m guessing this is the picture Jax claimed Katie was showing around.

Brittany Cartwright Reveals Relationship With Publicist Shared With Jax Taylor

Flashback to better days. Or were they?

Reflecting on Vanderpump Rules: Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky

🛸 Distant Encounters Of the Fifth Kind…

Join me tomorrow for soap and TBD. Until then, stay safe, stay not believing there is anything fashionable in being late, and stay laughing a lot and forgiving a lot.