Category Archives: Bravo

Jun13

June 12, 2016 – No Shahs, Just a Throne Game

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Because I watched the Tonys – what a shame Hamilton was such a loser – hahaha! – just kidding – congratulations to them – I only saw the first half of Shahs of Sunset. No doubt I’ll catch up with them later, but the takeaway point I was left with was that Tommy is done with MJ. What? He took his clothes and everything. I thought they were making babies together, and now this? Quel disappointment. I also don’t want Vida to be right.

Game of Thrones

We’re back at that play about the Lannisters. Lady Crane has taken Arya’s advice and put more anger in her monologue. The crowd goes wild. And I keep thinking about that carrot cake in my refrigerator.

Lady Crane is about to have her usual apres-monologue booze, when she hears Arya backstage. Arya is practically bleeding to death. Lady Crane dresses her wounds and tells Arya how she came to learn nursing; she was always stitching up her bad boy boyfriends. Lady Crane asks Arya to come with the troupe, but Arya say she can’t. She says there’s someone with no name after her. They talk for a while and Lady Crane gives Arya something to help her sleep.

A bunch of guys sit by a fire in the forest, jackassing around. I guess they’re the guys who killed The Hound’s peeps because he strolls right up and slaughters them.

Cool! It’s the market in Meereen. I’d love to haggle there. A woman makes a speech to a small crowd about how they should support Dany and wait for her. Tyrion and Varys stroll through the market. Tyrion hopes that Varys is right about his mission. Varys says if he doesn’t come back Tyrion will know he was wrong. That’s the spirit! Tyrion says he’ll miss Varys, and they part company.

The High Sparrow sends messengers to ask for Cersei. She says he can come see her, but the head messenger insists. Cersei says the Sparrow promised she could stay in the Red Keep until her trial, but the messenger says, oh no he didn’t. The Mountain comes out in his armor. The messenger says if Cersei doesn’t come willingly, there will be violence. Cersei says she chooses violence and The Mountain makes quick work of one of the messengers. Cersei tells the pretty startled speaker of the group that the Sparrow can come visit her any time.

A bunch of soldiers approach Brienne and Pod. She says she’s there to talk to Jaime and says she has his sword. At the camp, Bron goofs on Pod and then wonders if Brienne and Jaime are doing the nasty in the tent. Bron offers to give Pod fighting lessons. He immediately smacks Pod and says lesson number one is to understand that everyone wants to hit you.

Jaime and Brienne talk in the tent. She tells him about Sansa and says she’s come for The Blackfish. She tells Jaime that Sansa intends to take back her seat at Winterfell. She says he’s a knight and she knows there’s honor in him. and that he should take Riverrun without bloodshed. She says she’ll help him if he helps her. Jaime tells her The Blackfish is more stubborn than she is, but all right. Brienne asks for his word that if she helps him take Riverrun, he’ll give them safe passage. He agrees.

Brienne gives Oathkeeper to Jaime, saying that he gave it to her for a purpose and she’s achieved the purpose. He says it’s hers and always will be. Brienne tells him that if The Blackfish doesn’t surrender, honor compels her to fight on his side. Jaime says he understands and hopes it doesn’t come to that.

The Blackfish tells Brienne that he hasn’t seen Sansa since she was a kid and he doesn’t care. She tells him that Jaime is the one who sent her to get Sansa and she’s sworn to protect Sansa until she dies. She shows him the letter. He says he doesn’t have enough men to help Sansa take Winterfell. Brienne says he still has more than Sansa does. The Blackfish says he has his own home to defend and if Jaime wants the castle, he’ll have to take it. Brienne tells Pod to send Sansa a message that she failed.

Cersei is told that there’s to be a royal announcement in the throne room, but her place is in the gallery. Ouch! Tommen speaks about the faith and the crown, and how the Father judges them all. He announces when Loras’s and Cersei’s trials will be, adding there will be no more trial by combat. Uh-oh, there goes Cersei’s plan. He says it isn’t fair and helps the defendant to escape judgment, which I have to agree is true.

A maester sidles up to Cersei. He says he’s investigated a rumor and it’s about to blow the lid off the place. I’m paraphrasing.

Tyrion tells Greyworm and Missandei that Meereen has been reborn. Neither one of them is a drinker, but he insists they have a drink with him. He toasts to Dany and says anyone not drinking is disrespectful to their queen. Greyworm isn’t impressed with fermentation. Tyrion says he’d like to have his own vineyard and call his wine The Imp’s Delight. He tells a three-guys-walk-into-a-bar joke, but neither one of them get it. Missandei is liking the wine and Tyrion asks her to tell a joke. After she does, Greyworm tells her it’s the worst joke he’s ever heard. They start to relax and laugh a little, and suddenly Greyworm jumps up and runs out.

A load of ships are coming in and Missandei says the masters are back for their property.

Jaime apologizes to Edmure for the way the Freys treated him. Edmure says his uncle will never surrender the castle, so Jaime is wasting his time. Jaime says The Blackfish is an old guy and Edmure has a son now. Edmure says he’s never seen his son. Jaime says going against the crown has consequences. They go back and forth with Edmure finally calling Jaime an evil man. He asks how Jaime lives with himself.

Jaime says Edmure’s sister once hit him in the head with a rock and they sort of laugh. Jaime says he admired Catelyn. Edmure tells Jaime not to talk about her. Jaime says she was a lot like Cersei and would do anything to protect her children. Edmure asks what he really wants. Jaime says he loves Cersei and she needs him. He says he’ll do whatever he can to take Riverrun and get back to her. He says none of them mean anything to him except her. He’ll kill all the Tullys if he has to.

Edmure approaches the castle, saying he’s the rightful Lord of Riverrun and demands entry. The Blackfish tells the gatekeeper not to let him in, but the gatekeeper says he’s sworn to serve the Lord of Riverrun. The Blackfish says he’s not obeying the Lord of Riverrun; he’s obeying Jaime Lannister. The Blackfish says he’ll have his head first and the gatekeeper says The Blackfish is not the Lord of Riverrun. The Blackfish puts his sword away, since he can’t argue with that, and the drawbridge is lowered.

Edmure goes inside, saying nothing to The Blackfish. He goes upstairs and is welcomed home. He tells the gatekeeper that everyone is to lay down their arms and to open the gates. Jaime looks at the Freys like, ah-ha (in Nelson voice), I was right. The soldiers enter Riverrun. Edmure says to hand The Blackfish over to the Freys for poetic justice.

Brienne and Pod are leaving. Brienne tells The Blackfish to come with them, but he says it’s his family home and he hasn’t had a proper sword fight in years. I give him props for his chutzpah.

Jaime is told The Blackfish died fighting. He looks out over the castle wall and sees Brienne and Pod leaving in a boat. He and Brienne wave to each other. I guess they’ll always be friends, eh?

Meanwhile, Meereen is being bombarded with fire bombs from the ships. Greyworm is arguing with Tyrion. Greyworm says the army needs to wait for the masters to come to them and not go to the beach. Suddenly, a bunch of Ninja type guys come in and bow down. Dany has arrived.

The Hound hears people in the forest. He sees some guys about to be hung. The hangmen are Beric and Thoros from the Brotherhood Without Banners. The Hound realizes the hangees are part of the gang who killed Brother Ray and the others, and finds out they were also part of the Brotherhood. He wants to deal with them, but compromises with taking out two. He wants to use his ax, but Beric says they only do hanging. Again there’s a compromise where The Hound can cut off some fingers or something. He also takes a pair of boots from one of the dead guys.

The Hound shares supper with his old friends. Beric asks him to join them. The Hound says he tried that and it didn’t work. Beric tells him they need good men to help them. The Hound says last time they met, Beric wanted him dead. Beric says that the Lord of Light spared The Hound for a reason. He tells The Hound he can still help more than he’s harmed and it’s not too late.

Arya is recovering at Lady Crane’s place. A guy stops by while Arya is sleeping and Lady Crane gets a vial from the top of a cabinet.

Arya is startled awake and finds Lady Crane totally butchered. The Waif appears and says if Arya had done her job, Lady Crane would have died painlessly. Arya jumps from the balcony and runs, The Waif behind her. She’s pretty freakin’ fast too. They run through Braavos. Finally Arya looses The Waif, but gets herself lost.

Arya walks through a steam-room into the market and there’s The Waif. Arya jumps over a wall and takes an amazing tumble down a whole lot of stairs, upsetting quite a few merchants. She’s hurt, but manages to crawl away, The Waif trailing her. Why, I don’t know, but Arya goes through an alleyway where there’s no way out. The Waif follows with a knife.

Arya is crouched in a dark room. The Waif closes the door and tells Arya it will be over soon. Arya has Needle, but the Waif says that won’t help her.

Jaqen sees a trail of blood leading to the pool. He goes downstairs to where the faces are. He sees The Waif’s face among them. Behind him, Arya says he told The Waif not to kill her. He says yes and that finally a girl is no one. She says the girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell and she’s going home. Jaqen smiles. Kind of.

Next time, Jon is ready for war, and war it is. Looks like a doozie.

Jun9

June 8, 2016 – GH, Big Apple Little Women & Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Ava that messing with Morgan is going to cost her. Sonny says he saw her name in the log book at the hospital and wants to know what she told Morgan. She says she’s trying to protect her daughter.

Andre is pleased with Morgan’s progress. He starts to tell Morgan that he’s ready for release and Morgan stops him. Morgan says he feels settled where he is and Andre asks if he thinks he’d be unsettled in the outside world. Morgan says it’s safe at the hospital.

Tracy walks in on Kiki and Dillon. Kiki says she has to jet, but she’s looking forward to their date. Tracy asks Dillon when this happened. Dillon says he’s a grown man and refuses to have this conversation with his mother. Tracy says she has more important things to discuss anyway – she wants photos of baby Edward in the rose garden. He says he’s happy to do it as long as she realizes she’s not baby Eduardo‘s mother, Sabrrrina is.

Paul and Anna start to question Sabrrrina when Michael comes in with a lawyer. Sabrrrina says she’s been advised of her rights and wants to talk. She thanks Michael, but says she knew she was breaking the law and wants to give her full cooperation.

Julian asks if Alexis is looking for the shirt that’s in his hand. D’oh! She’d better make something up quick. She says yep, that’s what she was looking for. She says she hated what he did so she held on to the evidence. He says that’s the most honest she’s been in days. He asks if she was going to turn him in and she says she changed her mind.

Sabrrrina says she knows what she did was wrong, but Carrrlos was her baby’s father and she thought she had nothing left in Port Charles. Anna asks if Carrrlos ever talked about Duke’s murder or Julian. Sabrrrina says he never discussed those things with her. Paul is disappointed.

Ava says Kiki was shot because of Morgan and she’s not letting it happen again. Sonny says the shooting was ultimately her fault. She says Morgan is bi-polar and has shown manic behavior. Sonny says he’s on his meds now and getting better. Ava says he wants Kiki to take care of him the way Carly takes care of Sonny. He says it’s not the same thing and Ava says he’s right, Carly is a ruthless bitch who will never leave Sonny as long as he has money, and Kiki isn’t equipped to deal with Morgan’s problems.

Andre tells Morgan he knows what happens when he doesn’t take his meds or go to therapy. Morgan says it’s better than it was in the beginning. He says he feels like an outsider and a freak though, so he thinks it would be better to stay there.

Julian asks why she changed her mind and Alexis says because of Lucas. She saw how he tended to his son and saw the man she fell in love with, and decided to destroy the shirt. Julian says how about they destroy it together? You know, one of those fun, bonding activities that couples do.

Sonny says he understands how bi-polar affects a person, but he also knows Morgan is better and thinks he and Kiki should decide what they want to do. He says because of Ava, Morgan struggled and crashed more, and that she played with his fears and insecurities. He says for Avery’s sake, he’s going to let her live, but if she keeps messing with his son, she won’t like how he retaliates.

Morgan says once he leaves, everything centers around how he manages his illness, and what if he messes up? Andre says everyone messes up and his best advice is for Morgan to embrace his future, and due to his hard work, he’ll have a future. He says they’ll establish a transition plan where he sees Andre privately. Andre says he’ll have a job and a social life and a whole lot more, and that’s his professional opinion.

Paul tells Anna he can’t risk letting Sabrrrina go. Anna says she has significant ties to Port Charles, starting with her child, and if they need her, she’ll cooperate.

Tracy says Sabrrrina aided and abetted a fugitive. Dillon says Michael has gotten her legal representation. Tracy says Edward needs a mother’s guidance and while she’s made mistakes, she’s not Medea. (No, that’s Helena – my own inside joke since I saw Constance Towers in Medea on Broadway. ) Dillon says Tracy was the perfect mother for him, just like Sabrrrina will be the perfect mother for Edward.

Julian says once the shirt is gone, this will finally be over. He’s about to put it in the fire and Alexis grabs it back. Julian says she was never going to destroy the shirt; she was going to give it to the cops and that’s why Diane was there. He says he’d hoped he was wrong, but she’s been lying to him this whole time. Alexis says, no, you.

She says he lied to her even before they were married. She says there’s no justification for any of it. He’s sworn he was out and did it for her and their children. She says instead he brought the mob into her life and their children’s lives. She goes on a little about all men being the same and Julian stupidly insists he did it for them.

Anna tells Paul it will do no good to separate Sabrrrina from her son. Paul tells Sabrrrina he’s decided to drop the charges, but his office is trusting her to stick around in case they need her to testify. She leaves with Michael and her almost lawyer. Sabrrrina tells Anna she plans on doing everything she can to repay her kindness and Anna says just be a good mother to her son and that will be enough.

Sonny visits Morgan and tells him he knows about Ava. Morgan says it was his decision to break up with Kiki and Sonny is intruding. Sonny says he’s proud of what Morgan has accomplished and will support whatever decisions he makes, as long as someone else isn’t yanking his chain.

Ava sees Kiki in the park. Kiki is wearing the most precious summer dress that has tiny buttons going down it. Ava says Kiki looks happy. Kiki says she and Dillon had a great time at the concert and they’re going on a date. Ava says he seems like a very nice young man. Ava asks if Kiki wants to get some lemonade and talk about her date. Kiki suggests they keep their interests separate since things are calm now.

Tracy and Dillon look over the pictures, which he’s taken in record time. Michael and Sabrrrina come in and Michael says the charges were dropped. Sabrrrina asks where her son is. Tracy says the baby is sleeping. Sabrrrina says the easiest thing would be for them to move back in with Felix. Tracy suggests she move in there. She says she likes having the baby there and since Sabrrina’s legal situation has changed, she’s calling family services to have custody returned, providing Sabrrrina never disappears again. Sabrrrina says she values Tracy’s friendship and she’s stuck with her now. I’m glad they made up. I’ve always had girlfriends of all ages and you don’t often see a female friendship like this on TV shows.

Anna asks Paul what this favor is going to cost her. Paul says he’d like to wipe the slate clean and leave their mistakes in the past. He says second chances are rare, and he got one, so she owes him nothing. She says she wants something from him then.

Julian says he’s never had as strong a bond with anyone and didn’t realize it was conditional. Alexis says she didn’t know refraining from homicide was a condition. He grabs the shirt back and asks her if she’s willing to throw everything away. He grabs her arm. Man, I would so punch this dude in the face at this point.

Sonny tells Morgan it’s okay if they don’t agree on everything. Morgan says it’s good to feel that Sonny has his back though. He tells Sonny about his conversation with Andre and that he’ll be getting out soon.

Ava asks Kiki if she’d like to go to the mall and do some shopping. No interference or meddling, she just wants to get something new for Kiki to wear on her date.

In the hallway, Dillon tells Tracy he’s proud of her. She says she’ll get the best of both worlds, having the baby with her without the responsibility. Sabrrrina asks Michael if he’s okay with her staying there and he says they have plenty of time to talk about everything.

Anna tells Paul her first priority is to build a case against Julian. She wants her old position back as special investigator for the DA. Paul says short of a miracle there’s no way to tie Julian to Duke’s murder. She says she can build a case against him for Carrrlos’s murder though.

Julian apologizes. He tells Alexis if she turns the shirt over to the police, he goes to prison, and is it worth throwing everything away for someone like Carrrlos? He asks if their marriage still has a chance.

Tomorrow, Spinelli!, Alexis says either Julian can have her or get away with murder, and Dante tells Spencer there’s no evidence his father was murdered.

Little Women NY

In lieu of getting Lila out of the baby shower, Jess walks out. Jason asks Lila if she forgot what happened when Terra came to her party and what an asshat she was about it. Dawn interjects that Katie needs all the help she can get which has nothing to do with this. Jason tells her to shut up. (Thank you.) Lila insists it isn’t the same thing and actually she’s right, since Katie specifically said she didn’t want her at the shower beforehand. Since I’m not in a great mood to begin with, this is infuriating me. If it wasn’t for the fact that Katie is having difficulty already, I wish she’d show up and kick Lila out herself.

Jess says she’s not going to miss her best friend’s baby shower and clearly Lila isn’t leaving, so she’s just going to roll with it. Katie comes in wondering wtf Lila is doing there. Lila says that Katie didn’t acknowledge her which is rude. No. What’s rude is showing up at a party you’re not invited to. Katie talks to Jess in the bedroom who suggests they just get it over with. Katie says she’ll give it an hour.

Jason asks about the doctor visit. Katie says the baby is six pounds, but she’s still keeping her in for another week. When Katie opens her gift, Lila forces herself into a picture with Katie. Jess gives Katie some gag gifts which Lila doesn’t understand. In her interview, Jess says she might have given Katie some douche, but Lila is one.

Lila takes Katie aside and apologizes for past stuff and says she wants to be there for Katie. She keeps saying she’s there out of love, but how is it love making a pregnant woman’s blood pressure skyrocket? Lila says that Jess seems like a guard dog, keeping them from getting to know one another. She tells Katie that Jess is drinking whiskey. Oh horrors! A drink? At a party?? What is she thinking??? Basically Lila has nothing good to say about Jess and both Katie and I wish she’d disappear.

Jason rehashes the Terra thing with Jazmin, relating it to Lila showing up at the shower. Lila pops in and doesn’t understand the comparison. She says Terra didn’t come with good intentions. How she came to this conclusion, I have no clue, since she started screaming in Terra’s face the second she saw her. Lila also doesn’t seem to get that it was Jason’s party too, and Terra was his friend. He says she could have sucked it up. Lila is so delusional. Jazmin says she’s done with the both of them arguing. Reality TV, where people consistently show up at parties they’re not invited to.

DJ and Jason go out for drinks. Jason says it’s tough with DJ living in another state, and he needs nights like this to get away from the drama in his own apartment. DJ asks if Jason wants to move in with him, but Jason doesn’t want to move to Connecticut. DJ says at some point, he’ll either have to get a job in New York, or Jason will have to make the move to live with him. Jason says it’s either here or LA for him.

PJ and Katie take a baby prep class where they learn swaddling, diaper changing and such. They don’t seem very prepared, since they don’t even have a car seat. Katie wonders how something so little can require so much stuff. Well, let me tell you about all the stuff I have for my little dogs. I’m quite sure I’ll meet my end slipping on a dog toy. Katie says it’s exciting, but overwhelming, and wonders how they’re paying for everything. She’s concerned that PJ doesn’t realize how much responsibility a baby is.

Dawn’s friend, Doris, is in town and they get together with Lila. Doris is also a paralegal. They discuss dating. Lila has been on Tinder and had a date last night. Dawn is apalled that Lila is having random men she’s met online come over. Dawn says maybe meeting for coffee is a better idea, but Lila says it’s not coffee she’s looking for. While I can’t stand Dawn’s delivery, I have to agree that this probably isn’t safe.

Stupid moronic busybodies Dawn and Lila meet with Katie’s mother, so they can stick their nose in someone else’s business. Katie’s mother says PJ hasn’t been as responsible as she’d like him to be. Lila says the reason she pushed herself into the party was because she’s worried about Katie. They ask about PJ’s employment. Katie’s mother says she’s been supplementing them while PJ works on his music. Dawn expresses her concern over his lack of employment and says she’ll talk to him. Because that’s totally appropriate. I’m starting to despise these two at this point. Seriously, it seems like there’s something wrong with them.

Jason video chats with his brother, Jonathan, who is pretty cute. Jason tells him about PJ wanting him to move in, but he’s worried about his parents accepting that he’s gay. Jonathan thinks he should wait before making any more moves, since their parents are just getting used to him moving away from home. Jason is afraid DJ will leave him. Jonathan says he should be careful, since this is his first relationship, and that if DJ really cares about him, he should be willing to wait. Good advice. Jason is too young to make major changes in his life for someone else.

Jazmin meets her trainer, Mike, in Central Park. She invites Jess, who is glad for a drama free afternoon. They talk about how gaining even two pounds can be excessive for a little person. They talk about Katie and PJ. Jazmin hopes that PJ doesn’t look to Jess for all the answers. Jess says she has no problem telling PJ to figure it out for himself. OMG – none of my friends has ever had their nose this far into my business without me asking them to.

Katie is at the laundromat. Lila and Dawn come to help and she hopes that they’re not going to just piss her off. In her interview, Dawn has a lot to say about PJ. She tells Katie that she and Lila had lunch with her mom. She says she’s concerned about PJ not helping her enough. In her interview, Katie says their help is turning into the opposite of help. Katie tries to explain that she loves PJ. They barrage her with questions and Dawn says PJ should be more of a man. Katie says their nitpicking is getting annoying and maybe that’s why the both of them are single. She starts to get angry and says she’s sick of them being in her business. A lot of what she says is bleeped. Katie walks out, the two morons trailing behind her.

Dawn grasps at Katie for a hug. Lila has the good sense to leave, but Dawn keeps harping at Katie about PJ. Dawn says she and Lila will finish up the clothes and drop them off. In her interview, Katie says whenever she’s around these two, her blood pressure rises and she starts to cramp. She calls her mother who thinks they should head for the hospital. She calls PJ and tells him her mother thinks she’s going into labor and they’re picking him up on the way to the hospital.

In the car, Katie tells her mother and PJ about what happened at the laundromat. She says she doesn’t need her mother conspiring with “those two little snobs and airing her business.” She tells her mother she’s glad she’s there, but she wishes she could keep her mouth shut around the judgmental ones.

Next time, there’s concern about the baby flippig, Dawn outs Lila about Tinder, Lila gives Dawn a good push <snort>.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Bethenny tells The Countess that she shouldn’t send someone an apology and then talk smack about them. She says no one can have an honest conversation with her because she’s not honest. She brings up what The Countess has said about Carole, and The Countess has the audacity to say she wishes Carole well. Carole says she constantly criticizes her for having a relationship with a younger man when she dates younger men all the time. The Countess claims she owns her stuff. Carole says there’s been no end to the ugly things The Countess has said about her.

Dorinda pulls out a Twister game and Jules is on board. The argument in the kitchen continues while they play.

Bethenny says women feel like The Countess is the person they don’t want their men around.

Meanwhile, at Chateau Morgan, the interns are assisting Sonja in making a care package for her daughter, who’s away at school. She claims she’s going to stop drinking. Not because she needs to, but just to shut the others up.

Bethenny says The Countess brings out something in other women. She uses Ramona as an example and The Countess says Ramona is miffed because she wants to date the guy The Countess is dating. Bethenny says the bottom line is that she criticizes others for the same things she does. The Countess says that only Bethenny thinks that, but Carole concurs that The Countess has that reputation. The Countess tries to drag Dorinda into it and in her interview, Dorinda says she wants to burn her house down right now.

In her interview, The Countess says they can’t burn her because she’s Teflon. Um… Bethenny tells her that saying she’s mentoring Sonja is demented. The Countess says she’s concerned for Sonja and she just wants her to know she cares. Dorinda isn’t thrilled about The Countess being upset. The Countess says Bethenny is trying to take Sonja down because of the Tipsy Girl thing, but Bethenny says she wants nothing to do with that. She adds that The Countess wasn’t there, so she’s only discussing what’s between the two of them, not between her and Sonja.

They sit down to eat, as if anyone has an appetite. Santa arrives! Santa asks who’s been naughty or nice, and passes out gifts. I’m not sure who Santa is, but I don’t think Santa is a guy. The gifts are personalized wine glasses that hold an entire bottle. Just what this group needs. In her interview, Carole says she’s tired of pretending and doesn’t want to be around The Countess anymore. She leaves the table. Bethenny says she’s sorry for the way she spoke, but The Countess is cunning and crafty.

Ramona tells The Countess that she has the habit of moving in on other women’s men because she needs the attention that someone else is getting. She gives her an example of when she was flirting with a guy and went to the ladies room. When she returned, The Countess refused to give her the seat back. The Countess says she likes to flirt and Bethenny calls her a barracuda. Bethenny says the bottom line is that she’s not a girl’s girl. The Countess insists she has never stolen a man away from anyone, but that’s not exactly what Bethenny and Ramona are talking about. I can identify with this. I’ve met those women who don’t like other women. One time, at a dinner after a show I’d worked on, one of the cast members had shown some interest in me and we were talking. Another girl actually squeezed a chair in between us and turned her back to me. This is the kind of crap The Countess pulls. And just for the record, I was the one who ended up going out with him.

The Countess says she just doesn’t see it the same way. Like Bill Murray in Meatballs, Bethenny says it just doesn’t matter and decides to go to bed, even though it’s only nine o’clock. Dorinda asks The Countess if she understands now why she didn’t want Sonja there. The Countess says she loves Dorinda, but it’s a real shitshow. In her interview, Dorinda says no matter what you present to them, this group can ruin it.

In the morning, Bethenny tells Carole she has an argument hangover. She can’t believe she said the things she did. They both agree that if they were told any of the things Bethenny said, it would be over. Bethenny has plans to just put her jacket on over her pajamas and get in the car.

Jules says despite the insanity, she was able to relax and didn’t even call her kids. Bethenny and Carole sneak out without saying good-by. When they’re noticed, they think better of it and go back in after loading the car. We flash back to when they ditched everyone at Jules’s place. Bethenny apologizes to Dorinda, who takes it like a champ. In her interview, Dorinda says it wasn’t very respectful.

The Countess tells Dorinda what a gorgeous place she has. Dorinda had been hopeful that everyone would relax and enjoy the holidays. As the others depart, she says she loves them for coming, but also loves them for leaving.

Jules and Michael are still looking for a nanny. She says she’s been so busy, her armpit hairs are three inches long. Eww! Unless you’re in Europe. She makes some coffee and actually gets it right. My Lord, what has this woman done her whole life that she can’t multi-task in the shower or brew coffee?

Carole visits Bethenny who makes avocado toast. Carole doesn’t feel like The Countess was sincere with her apology, but it’s fine since not everyone has to be friends. Bethenny says she wasn’t trying to slut shame, she just doesn’t like the hypocrisy. She says she gets possessed by the devil in the Berkshires and is never going there again.

Yet another holiday party at a restaurant with Ramona as hostess. She has the ill-conceived notion that somehow everyone will get along. The Countess arrives first. Ramona tells her that she should have apologized to Carole sooner. She also says she told Sonja to stop sounding like a broken record and make things right with Bethenny about the Tipsy Girl business. No. She should just shut up altogether.

Everyone arrives and the appetizers are passed. The Countess sits next to Bethenny, who really doesn’t want to talk to her. Carole is on Bethenny’s other side and The Countess talks over her, telling Carole that she’s sincerely sorry for the things she said. Carole says she appreciates it. In her interview, Carole says this apology seems slightly more sincere. The Countess tries to apologize to Bethenny again. Bethenny says she didn’t mean to get crazy, but the Skinny Girl thing set her off. She says The Countess just needs to say for once that she had nothing to do with it, and she does. So are we putting this to bed now?

They talk about The Countess’s boyfriend and how he might be “the one.”In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess has relationships in dog years, by the second date, she has her wedding dress ready. Bethenny excuses herself to use the phone and Sonja arrives. In her interview, Sonja says she kept getting texts from the Berkshires that if she doesn’t drop Skinny Girl, Bethenny will never talk to her again, but not from Bethenny.

Ramona tries to get Sonja to talk to Bethenny, who disappears like Houdini. Ramona reports to The Countess that Sonja is being stubborn, so The Countess confronts Sonja. She claims that Sonja said she was dropping the whole thing and fixing it with Bethenny. Sonja says she never said any such thing. Dorinda says it’s a good thing she wasn’t in the Berkshires. Sonja says if Bethenny wanted to talk to her, she would. Ramona says she needs to fix it, but Sonja says she’s not going to chase her down. Apparently, Sonja was the text happy one over the weekend. Sonja gets loud, trying to correct the misconceptions about her texts.

Sonja says that she might have been able to communicate with Bethenny in the Berkshires and gets on Dorinda’s case for excluding her. Dorinda says she didn’t think it would be a healthy environment and she stands by her decision. Sonja whines that they gang up on her all the time and leaves.

The Countess tells her not to leave and she whines some more. She says she tried to talk to Bethenny, but she left. She screeches at The Countess in the stairwell, repeating herself. She says Carole told her Bethenny had no hard feelings, so what are these? Soft boiled? Okay, that was kind of funny.

In her interview, Carole says she thinks Sonja is a decent person, but doesn’t think she even thought about Bethenny when she saw the opportunity to make money. Ramona makes a happy holidays, God bless us every one toast.

Next time, The Countess talks about getting married, Ramona tells The Countess about Tom, another couples dinner and The Countess annoys Bethenny.

Jun8

June 7, 2016 – GH & Below the Mediterranean Deck

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Maxie comes back to the apartment and Nathan asks her if they’re still together. He says they can work through it. She says they have something they need to talk about. She asks why he’s been lying to her throughout their entire relationship. She asks would he have lied to her their entire life if he hadn’t blurted something out when he was on medication? Nathan says probably. He explains again what happened with Claudette and says when he realized her lover wasn’t going to press charges, he just wanted to forget. Maxie says she’s not upset because he made a mistake, but because she thought he was the one person who wouldn’t lie to her. (Note this clue, fellas – we’re never nearly as mad about the thing you did as you lying about it.) Maxie says he had the opportunity to tell her everything when she found the glove, but he chose to continue lying. She says lies she’s told have affected every relationship in her life and she knows now that real love comes from trust. Now the trust is broken, and she’s not sure she can get it back.

Kristina invites Aaron over, telling him she has a great opportunity for him. She makes him cover his eyes and talks about how impressed he was with Sonny. She gives him a bag of Corinthos Coffee and says her dad has agreed to let him sell it. He tells her how much he appreciates it and how cool she is.

The morning after the Glamour Boys concert, Kiki brings breakfast to Dillon at the office. He says she deserves something in return.

Morgan pouts, thinking about seeing Dillon kiss Kiki. Sonny comes in and asks why he’s so upset. Morgan says it’s just a game he was playing that he sucks at, but Sonny isn’t buying it. Sonny brings up how Morgan wanted to leave the Nurses Ball early. He asks Morgan what happened when he went backstage and Morgan tells him about Dillon and Kiki.

Ava sees Julian at the hospital. He tells her Lucas is going to make a full recovery. She wonders why Alexis isn’t there.

She isn’t there because she’s meeting Diane in the park. Diane asks what happened to their plan to turn Julian in and Alexis says she didn’t want to do that in the middle of Lucas being in a coma. Diane says since the prognosis is good now, she can turn Julian in and avoid prosecution herself.

Kiki opens the box and it’s a T-shirt from the Glamour Boys concert. They talk about how she was in love with them once and how they haven’t aged well. He gives her a second shirt to sell “and put her little sister through college.” Good luck with that. He probably believes that elephant Beanie goes for five grand on eBay too. He asks Kiki to go on a real date with him.

Julian tells Ava that Alexis had to deal with some legal problems. Ava says that’s a vague excuse. She asks about Carrrlos’s death, but Julian says there’s nothing to connect him to it and he’s in the clear.

Diane tells Alexis she has to turn the evidence into the police immediately. She says she has something else to do first. Diane realizes that Alexis wants to give Julian a heads up. She tells Alexis how he rewarded Carrrlos for not turning him in by stabbing him to death, and says it will be the last thing Alexis ever does if she warns him.

Morgan tells Sonny about how he told Kiki to move on. He uses the word “we,” and Sonny wonders what Morgan isn’t telling him.

Ava doesn’t think that Alexis will keep Julian’s secret. Julian says no matter how much he loves Alexis, it doesn’t change who he is. He says if the investigation into Carrrlos’s death gets any traction, he has the resources to silence whoever permanently.

Aaron says it’s not that he’s completely blown away, but he doesn’t have the funds for a food cart right now. Kristina tells him that there’s a place for sale and maybe he could run it. She suggests setting up a meeting with Sonny. He tells Kristina how wonderful she is again and they kiss.

Kiki tells Dillon she’s still not over Morgan. He says he felt something when they kissed and he’s pretty sure she did too. She doesn’t deny it, but says that doesn’t mean she’s over Morgan.

Sonny asks Morgan who helped him decide to break things off with Kiki.

Ava says she’s glad Julian has his bases covered for both their sakes. She says she thinks Kiki is also realizing she needs to move on with her life and not depend on someone as unstable as Morgan. Julian says Morgan won’t be in the hospital forever, but Ava says he’s not going to pull Kiki back into his orbit.

Alexis tells Diane that Julian would never hurt her. Diane says the best case scenario is that he pulls out all the romantic stops to get her not to tell the police. She says if Alexis doesn’t turn him in today, she continues to be an accessory and could get disbarred and possibly go to prison. Alexis says it boggles her mind that she got into this position in the first place and wonders what’s wrong with her. Diane says she doesn’t fault Alexis for following her heart, but she’s risking her career and her freedom. Alexis says she’ll do it today.

Nathan says he was ashamed and didn’t want anyone to know. Maxie asks if Dante knew. Nathan says he never told anyone. He says when he met her, he felt like he was getting a second chance to be the man he wanted to be and her hero. She says what’s amusing is that she had decided to stop snooping around because she loved him that much. And we all get it, right? Griff is the guy he shot.

Aaron says he has to whip up a business plan. Kristina says to let her know when he puts something together. She says Sonny isn’t easy to impress, but he likes Aaron. Aaron says he’s more concerned with impressing Sonny’s daughter and Kristina says she likes him too. They start to kiss, but Aaron says he doesn’t want to meet her mother under these circumstances and he’s late for class anyway.

Alexis says she’ll get the shirt and meet Diane at the police station. Diane says to let her do all the talking. She says the PCPD has been after Julian forever and this will go in Alexis’s favor. Alexis is concerned that Julian is going to be arrested at the hospital.

Ava has to leave and Julian says he’ll let Lucas know she was there. She says Kiki bounced back and she’s sure Lucas will too. Julian wonders why Ava thinks Morgan is no longer a problem. Ava says sometimes it’s best to keep one’s actions private.

Morgan tells Sonny he’s there to learn how to deal with his own life and to stop grilling him. Sonny says okay and leaves. Because he can’t really let it go, Sonny tells the nurse at the desk he forgot to log in so he can take a look at the log book. He asks her for a glass of water and when she leaves, he flips through it. He sees Ava’s name. The nurse returns with his water and Sonny tells her she doesn’t even realize how much she helped.

Nathan tells Maxie nothing has changed and he loves her with his whole heart. She says she’s scared another secret will come out or another lie is around the corner. He says that’s not going to happen, but she says she’s not sure she can just go on faith. It would be poetic justice if Nathan lost Maxie to Griff.

Kiki asks if Dillon still has feelings for Lulu and he says no, but it took a lot of time to get over. She says because Morgan was her first love, she felt like they had a connection nothing could destroy. Even after he told her to go away, she wasn’t sure she really should. She brings up how Morgan slept with “Aunt Denise,” who was really her mother. She says they’ve survived a lot and she’s not sure if she’s supposed to give up on him. Dillon says that when he’s confused about something, he tries to put it into one of his scripts. He says using the words Kiki has, like “crazy” and “twisted,” it’s probably not a love story he’d be rooting for. He’d also still like to take her out.

Alexis arrives home. She makes sure she’s by herself and takes out that ratty, stinking shirt. Uh-oh. It’s gone.

Kristina goes to the park and daydreams about Aaron. She calls Parker and leaves a message that she needs to see her.

Nathan asks if Maxie still loves him and she doesn’t know how to answer. She says she’s made so many mistakes in her life, she can’t afford another one.

Dillon tells Kiki if getting on Jerry Springer has been on her bucket list, she’s on her way. She says that’s the first time she’s laughed about all that mess. She has to leave and he kisses her.

Morgan broods over a picture of Kiki on his iPad. And deletes it. He deletes photos of them together.

Sonny pops out from behind a tree in the park and tells Ava she’s been very busy.

Julian finds Alexis digging around and says looking for this? He has the shirt.

Tomorrow. Sonny tells Ava to quit messing with Morgan, Dillon tells Tracy about Kiki, and Alexis says as a matter-of-fact, that is what she was looking for.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Bryan tells Danny what a crappy worker he is. In his interview, Danny says Bryan should back off of him, which I might agree with if Danny hadn’t been the one drunkenly bringing it up. Bobby flirts with Julia and Ben asks Hannah for a chat.

Ben apologizes for not having Hannah’s back in the altercation with Danny. In return, he gets a drunken mini tirade about how abusive he was. He says he wasn’t exactly abusive, but apologizes again and that seems to squelch it. He says Hannah is the most emotional chief stew he’s worked with, which I find ironic because she doesn’t expect anyone else to have feelings.

Everyone stumbles back to the boat. Tiffany gets in the hot tub and Bryan decides to make his move. He tells Tiffany that he’s really not a frat boy and they make out. There’s a bunch of drunk talk that even the subtitles can’t make sense of. Bryan brags to the camera that he might bang Tiffany tonight and then almost breaks his neck getting back into the hot tub.

Like the drunken idiot he is, he tells Tiffany he might bang her, and then tells her to sit on his thumb. I’m not kidding. Is that his word for something else? No surprise, it doesn’t go over well. Since the response isn’t what he wants, he calls her a “dragon drunk bitch” and leaves. Tiffany tells us that he would have scored had he not been such a d-bag.

The next morning Bobby and Bryan rehash their night off. Bobby is stuck on Julia, except she has a boyfriend and just likes to flirt. Tiffany tells the girls how inappropriate Bryan was and it sounds like Bryan doesn’t remember a whole lot.

Danny is helping Jen do something or other, and Bryan tells him next time check in with him first because he’s going to micro-manage this kid to death now. Plus, he’s hungover.

Captain Mark passes out the info for the next charter. Four guests, two couples and it sounds like the guys run a business together. One of them is also having a seven-month relationship anniversary. Since the gig doesn’t start until tomorrow, Ben asks Hannah if she wants to go out for drinks and appetizers. Hannah is hesitant because of getting mixed signals from him. Ben says he fluctuates and she says okay, she’ll go. Danny, Jen and Bobby try to get into the same bunk and Danny gets stuck. Ah, the yachting life!

Ben and Hannah go ashore. It must be fun to eat in all these faraway places. I just thought, are there American diners in Greece? Hannah and Ben make small talk and trade stories. They talk about the crew. Ben says he and Danny have a secret connection and Hannah asks if it’s because they both have a crush on her. What? I think Ben thinks she’s hot, but I didn’t get that vibe from Danny.

Downtime on board seems like a college dorm. It’s an hour before charter and the crew puts the final touches on the boat. Ben has heard the last time these same guests chartered, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing. We flash back to an original Below Deck episode, but there isn’t enough for me to recall this bunch. Nope. Don’t remember them.

There’s awkwardness (awkwardity?) between Tiffany and Bryan. We’re off to a great start since the primary, Alan, didn’t tell anyone he can’t eat tuna, which is about to be served. Hannah has to be the bearer of bad tidings to Ben, who says it would have been nice to know beforehand, but manages to change direction quickly and the guests are pleased.

Alan’s girlfriend discusses their “anniversary” with Hannah. She wants a Valentine’s Day theme. Ben and I both roll our eyes. The guests go off on jet skis and do some cliff diving. When they return, Tiffany meets them with shots. Alan says he doesn’t know which is more dangerous, Tiffany’s shots or the cliff. I vote for doing shots on the cliff.

There’s a mayday call from a small boat nearby. They’re taking on water and going down quickly. The deckhands try to help as Captain Mark radios the coastguard, who says they’ll be there immediately. Bryan says he never saw the deckhands work so hard and maybe they should sink once in a while. The guests wear life-vests during their next meal, although I’m not sure it’s a joke.

At cocktail hour, Alan orders an espresso martini, says it’s the worst one he’s ever had and sends it back. He goes to the galley and asks Hannah if she’s ever made an espresso martini before. She says hundreds and he begs to differ. She makes another with him watching and he likes that one. All she did was put in more espresso. In her interview, she suggests instead of being insulting, he could have just asked for a stronger one.

The guests get in the hot tub. Ben and Hannah discuss the next days activities. Julia tells her boyfriend about Bobby being a creeper and says in her interview that the distance between them makes things difficult. Bobby whispers to Bryan that the guests see something between him and Julia, which confirms to him that she’s interested.

Hannah gets a masseuse for the guests, while Ben works on the anniversary dinner. She’s also gotten some violinists to play during the meal. I’m not sure how romantic a dinner can be with another couple there though. I see Danny sneak a bite of something in the kitchen.

The entree is five of the biggest shrimp I’ve ever seen, which I realize is oxymoron-ish. Hannah seems to think there are three courses, even though Ben clearly said he was going with two. He looks really confused when she radios about needing the entrees. Hannah goes to the galley and Ben goes over what they said. This could possibly suck because one of the guests didn’t finish her prawns since she didn’t want to get too full. Ben offers the kebabs they originally passed on for a canape, but Hannah tells him it’s okay as is. He feels like she’s not telling him something and he’s right. She never mentions the guest who didn’t finish.

Hannah decides to asks the guests if they’d like another course or go straight to desert. They’re down with the kebabs. Ben is just a tad miffed. He gives Hannah a mini lecture on communication.

Next time, a charter of single guys, Ben and Hannah argue, and Danny antagonizes Bryan.

Jun7

June 6. 2016 – GH, Charmers & Wives (Oh, my!)

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason doesn’t think there was a body. Sam says they saw Nicholas on the rocks, but Jason says not really. He thinks it was a set-up. Sam says the first question is why and wonders if it has to do with the financial situation. Jason nixes that. Sam says what would Nicholas be running from, but Jason says not what, who?

Jordan sends out the cops to bring Jason in.

Dr. Mays asks Lucas if he knows what happened to him. Lucas says someone tried to kill him. Jordan comes to Lucas’s room and Obrecht says he was just about to tell them what he remembers. He says he brought Bobbie to the hospital and Dr. Finn treated her for vertigo. He says he was leaving, but forgot his car keys. When he came back into Bobbie’s room, someone was standing over her with a syringe. When he asked what they were doing, they turned and attacked him. The next thing he remembers, Brad was talking to him and waking him up. When Jordan asks for a description, Lucas says it was a doctor. Jordan asks which one.

Maxie wants Nathan to rest, but he says he wants to talk. He says it’s time he made a full confession. Maxie asks if he cheated on her or got someone pregnant. He says he loves her and there’s no one else, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him. She says how serious can it be; it’s not like he killed someone, but Nathan is like, um….

Hayden introduces her mother, Naomi, to jackass Elizabeth. Hayden says they can stay and chat, but she’s out of there. Elizabeth says don’t bother, she’s leaving.

Lucas tells Jordan it’s fuzzy and she says to picture it in his mind. He says it was dark and the lights were off, but he assumed it was a doctor because of the white lab coat. She asks about their hair and he says they were wearing a cap and mask and it could have been anybody. Well, that narrows it down.

Franco tells Elizabeth he left her a message. He asks if Jason told her not to talk to him, but Elizabeth says Jason doesn’t tell her what to do. She says she’s just overwhelmed.

Hayden asks how Naomi found her. Naomi says a mother knows and Hayden asks where she was when Hyden was in a coma? Glossing over that, Naomi says she came because she heard about Nicholas’s accident and everything will be okay because she’s there now. Hayden says nothing will ever be okay.

Jason says staging his death wouldn’t solve Nicholas’s financial problems, but it might solve his legal ones.

Maxie asks Nathan who he killed. He says he’s not sure if he even hit them, but he shot at someone. (Griff?) She asks if it was when he was a cop in New York and he says yes, but he wasn’t on duty. He says it’s time she knew the whole story about Claudette, and Maxie asks if that’s who he shot.

Monica tells Lucas he’s pushing himself too hard and she wants everyone out now.

Nathan says he shot Claudette’s lover. He says at the time, he was drinking a lot. One night when he was supposed to be at work, he came home and found her in bed with someone. He says he shot blindly and then passed out. When he came to, the guy was gone, and Claudette wouldn’t tell him what happened or who it was. He says he looked for the guy, but never found him, although he might have ended up in prison if he had.

Jordan wants a list of who was working the night Lucas came in. Obrecht suggests she focus on the staff with unsavory histories, starting with Finn.

Naomi says she’s not responsible for Hayden’s father going to prison, he is. She says if she hadn’t turned him in, the both of them might be paying for his crimes. She says she did what had to be done, but the little girl in Hayden doesn’t want to blame her father. She says Hayden might feel differently if she knew the whole truth.

Jason says the door at Windemere was closed when he arrived and just after he called out to Nicholas, he heard the noises. When he got to Nicholas’s bedroom, he heard the crash. Sam says that’s when she came in. Jason says Nicholas staged the room and then broke the window so it looked like he was pushed, but how did he get out? Sam says even if he used a secret passageway, he wouldn’t have had enough time to get downstairs and onto the rocks. Jason says maybe he didn’t have to.

Finn says Obrecht is crossing the line. Mays asks if she has proof. She says the proof is in Dr. Jones and there’s evidence of a pattern. Mays suggests they go back over the patient deaths, perhaps for years. Jordan asks if she can talk to Finn later and he says of course. Monica tells Jordan she has the cooperation of the complete staff. Jordan tells her about the warrant issued for Jason’s arrest.

Sam tells Jason they saw the body, but he says they were too far away to really know what they saw. He explains how Nicholas could have set all that up first, and while he made his escape through a passageways, they saw what he wanted them to see, and then removed the “body” while they were running downstairs. He says Nicholas might have been setting up someone else.

Naomi says Hayden’s father made his own choices and they were collateral damage. She says they’ve been bled dry and Hayden says that’s what she’s been telling the Feds but they won’t leave her alone. Naomi says to let her help and perhaps in return, Hayden could help her. She’s trying to track down her diamond necklace.

Elizabeth gets nasty with Obrecht and Franco steers her away. Elizabeth thinks Hayden has something to do with Nicholas’s disappearance, but she doesn’t know what. He says if Hayden is looking to get a rival, she’s come to the right place.

Maxie says it makes sense why she couldn’t track down Claudette; she’s hiding from Nathan. Nathan says he hated himself for lying to her, but they can find a way past it. Maxie isn’t too sure about that. She says she’s done her share of lying in the past, but he knew that about her. She says she always saw him one way and now he’s turned out to be someone completely different.

Nathan says he’s still the same guy. She says the guy she met never would have lied to her. She says it took a while for her to trust him and now this.

Naomi says she loves Hayden, but she wants her fair share of the asset that’s left. Hayden says she should have called first, since she doesn’t know where it is. Naomi tells Hayden she knows about Nicholas selling the diamond, and Hayden says now he’s gone and so are they. Naomi says she’s lying and Hayden says between Naomi and Elizabeth Webber, she’s had enough today. Naomi recognizes Elizabeth’s name.

Franco says Elizabeth needs to get away and she asks what he has in mind.

Sam wonders if Hayden is involved. Monica calls Jason, telling him there’s a warrant out for his arrest. He relays that to Sam.

Monica wants to talk to Finn and asks him flat out if he has a drug problem. He says no. She says it’s in both their interests that he be exonerated and she asks him to take a drug test.

Nathan tells Brad he’s sorry he missed the wedding and Brad says he’s just glad Nathan is okay and they’ll get married one way or another.

Mays asks Obrecht how sure she is about Finn. She says she’s sure he can’t be trusted and it takes a secret keeper to know one.

Monica tells Finn she stuck her neck out for him and take the test so they can move on.

Jason says the cops will expect him to run, so they’re better off where they are for now. He breaks out some scotch and Sam looks for dominoes. Jason remembers them drinking tequila and him winning at a game. She says he remembers the winning part wrong.

Franco says he just wants to help Elizabeth and she says she believes that, but she doesn’t want any more complications in her life right now. She says Nicholas was her true friend. Franco says she can’t see it right now, but she’s wrong.

Naomi says Elizabeth’s name sounds familiar. She says first thing tomorrow, they’ll search the house for the diamonds. For tonight she’s staying at the MetroCourt because the government didn’t take away her points.

Maxie wonders what happens if Nathan’s past catches up with him. She says she needs to sort things out and she’s going to her parents’ house for the night.

Tomorrow, Nathan asks Maxie if they’re still together, Diane tells Alexis to turn Julian in, and Julian suggests silencing Sonny permanently.

Southern Charm

It’s weird how a lot of these houses that look like they have old world charm from the outside, manage to look so modern on the inside. Craig visits his old boss, Frank. He brings Frank up to speed on what he’s been doing, and Frank says Craig went to law school for three years so what’s up with that? Craig says that’s why he’s here; he wants to know if it’s too late. Frank says if in all this time, he hasn’t taken the bar, he’ll have a hard time convincing anyone he’s really interested in a law career. Frank tells him to pass the bar and he’ll set Craig on the right path to be a successful lawyer.

Shep meets Bailey (of the surfboard painting) for lunch. He asks what’s up with her flirting with him. She says she cares about him, but he doesn’t seem interested in commitment, so she’s just interested in him as a friend. I hear the whistle of the bomb drop in the background.

Cameran visits her mother. She tells her mom about Shep assisting her in real estate and that she isn’t sure it’s such a great idea. She says she also saw a therapist about her negativity toward having children. Her mother says that if she feels that terrible about having them, maybe she shouldn’t have them, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She says any fool can have a baby, and not to do what society is telling her to do. She tells Cameran to get a dog. Cameran jokes that without spending it on kids, she’ll have enough money to put her mom in a nice home when the time comes.

Shep meets Cameran at the property they’re showing. It’s a house from 1915 and I’m in love. Shep makes a few faux pas, but none of it seems that bad to me. It’s certainly nothing that would make or break a sale. Afterward, Cameran is annoyed that Shep didn’t put more effort into educating himself about the house, and fires him.

Thomas and Kathryn bring new baby, St. Julien, home. So as not to be confused with the West/Kardashian baby, they’re calling him Julien. (I made up that first part) JD and Shep wait for Thomas at a bar. JD has brought fancy cigars.Thomas arrives and shows everyone a picture of Julien. Thomas says they’ve decided on no circumcision. Um…that probably isn’t a good idea. As Shep puts it, locker rooms can be tough. He makes a toast to Julien, “future leader of this great country and the world.” JD calls for more shots. I’d like one too, please.

Whitney and Shep meet for lunch. All anyone does in this town is eat and drink, and drink. Shep tells Whitney he screwed up with Bailey. In his interview, Whitney says he doesn’t think Shep has ever been in love. Whitney tells him there comes a time when you want stability and the dating world gets old. Shep doesn’t think chasing women ever gets old, but he’s not that old – he’s ten years younger than Whitney – so I don’t think this is so awful.

Nanny Dawn is trying to put together a piece of baby furniture – another constant, at least at Kathryn’s house. Dawn asks Kathryn how Thomas reacted to the baby. Kathryn says he’s thrilled to have a son, and even suggested taking a pass on going out with JD, but she encouraged him to go. She says she feels happy for the first time in a long time and is hoping her hormones stay in check.

Shep calls Landon (bleh). He’s in the neighborhood and wants to stop by. In her interview, she says she feels “vulnerable” around Shep (ugh!). They’ve been friends for so long, she’s afraid to cross the line. They have wine and make small talk. He tells her that things didn’t work out with Bailey. Landon says she felt a little jealous about him getting serious with her. When he asks why, she says because maybe she loves him. Brilliant. Shep is astonished and isn’t sure what to say, so he just says, why? Landon says she’s loved him for a long time and he must have known. Shep says he feels badly and he didn’t know. Oh man, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry here. Shep is incredibly uncomfortable, but Landon is such an idiot and I can’t stand her, so there’s some satisfaction in her making this incredibly stupid move. Shep leaves because what else can he do?

Landon claims she’s trying to get out of her comfort zone and says she usually gets what she wants. Well, not that time. She visits that media guy, who I guess has a house in Charleston. She shows him a sort of look-book. He says he thought she’d be further along technologically, like something on an iPad, not handing him a bunch of papers. He says any serious investor is going to want to see a website and at this point, he can’t connect her with investors because they’d laugh her out of the room. This woman is definitely a legend in her own mind type.

Thomas goes over to Kathryn’s place. As much of an idiot as he is, he does seem to be good with the kids. He asks Kathryn if she’s ready for a third one and she says she’s ready for a ring. In his interview, he says he’d marry her in a second if it could always be like that. Dude, no life is always like that. She says they had a period where they weren’t communicating and the involvement of other people didn’t help. Thomas thinks Jennifer wasn’t helping any either. He says she’s not a healthy person to have around him, whatever that means. In her interview, Kathryn says even though she thinks Jennifer cares about her, her relationship with Thomas is more important. They hug.

Patricia has brought in a chef for her dinner honoring the new baby. She says if left to her own devices, it would just be Vienna sausages and martinis. I guess this is like a baby shower for guys. That’s one way around inviting Kathryn.

Dinner is served. With placecards and everything. There isn’t one of these shows where I don’t rave about the food, so considered it raved over. They talk about the Founder’s Ball, which is apparently some recently made up thing. They talk about Craig working for JD like Craig isn’t there. Shep drops the bomb that Landon told him she’s in love with him. Patricia thinks it’s worth checking out, but Shep says they hooked up once and Landon decided once was enough. To change the subject, Shep makes a toast to Patricia for hosting them.

They go to the sitting room for after dinner drinks. JD asks Thomas if he’s going to do a paternity test. Thomas says they did one, but it was inconclusive. Craig basically tells Thomas that he’s gullible. With the first baby, Kathryn had briefly dated someone else, but Kelsie is definitely his. Patricia stirs the pot by saying Kathryn is no stranger to lying.

Next time, Craig says Kathryn deserves a second chance, Thomas has a dinner party, and Thomas tells everyone off – we’re back where we started in the first episode. Looks good.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Austin road trip! Travis and Bryan built a house there together, so it’s shared between the couples. Brandi didn’t consult with Stephanie before inviting all the girls, but Stephanie is a good sport about it. It must be universal that when a woman packs for a weekend, she brings enough stuff for a month. The first night, they’ll have a private chef and the next, they’re going out after a spa day. The husbands are on kid duty.

The drinking starts on the bus. Stephanie has to pee, and goes in a cup. You mean to tell me all the money these women have and they couldn’t get something with a bathroom in it? When Leeanne says it’s disgusting, the topic of her pooping her pants comes up. Touche…I guess.

They get to the house and do more drinking. Tiffany breaks a glass, so it’s officially a party. Leeanne and a couple of the other girls lounge by the pool and Leeanne is beyond upset that Marie passed along the poop story. In her interview, Leeanne explains that it had been her birthday and she’d taken a bunch of laxatives to “get skinny,” and they literally backfired when she got drunk. I think these Wives officially get the TMI award now. Does Bravo have one of those?

Commercial break with important information. The Orange County Uncensored special airs next Monay (June 13) at 9 pm.

Colin the chef arrives. Stephanie says she can’t be trusted in the kitchen, especially since she once gave Bryan some tea she accidentally made out of potpourri and he ended up in the hospital. Sure it was a mistake. Leeanne is still furious with Marie, but doesn’t want it to ruin everyone’s time. Brandi thanks Tiffany for the song Aaron dedicated to her brother at House of Blues, which brings everyone back to reality. Leeanne says Rich has PTSD after losing someone he tried to save as a police officer.

Uh-oh. Fireball shots. That stuff will clear out your sinuses. Amazing food appears! And amazing wine in amazing wine glasses. Leeanne talks about how when her grandmother took her in as a child, it was the first time she’d felt wanted . Brandi is feeling like she misjudged Leeanne. They talk about trust issues and Cary says she’s felt judged by Leeanne. I appreciate where Leeanne is coming from, but I still think she needs therapy for dealing with her communication skills.

Drunk Brandi struggles with opening a bottle of wine and Leeanne comes to the rescue. Chef Coli leaves and Brandi demonstrates a cheerleading move on the dining table. Another glass gets broken and Brandi falls off of her chair when she puts a rose between her toes and pretends it’s talking to the bottle. I’m not making this up.

The next morning, Brandi says she woke up to Leeanne screaming. Cary says she overheard her telling Marie she was going to slaughter her. Stephanie heard her saying she was gong  to get her carny side on, whatever that means. Tiffany thinks Leeanne should talk to Marie, but Leeanne says Marie doesn’t want to talk. Well, yeah, she obviously feels threatened and you’re following her around. Brandi is freaked because she wanted to like Leeanne.

Leeanne approaches Marie, who keeps denying she passed along the story. Tiffany asks how Cooper would have known then. Marie says Leeanne is way out of line in the way she talks about violence against people who cross her. By now, the other girls are at the table and agree that Leeanne was being abusive. Once again in her interview, Leeanne says that’s not how she want to be. Well, don’t be that then. Leeanne apologizes to everyone. Stephanie says as a social worker, she wouldn’t even have let her clients talk to her like that. Cary says she was definitely threatening and Leeanne says kill means something different to her and this is between her and Marie.

Cary asks Marie what she thinks it means and Marie is hesitant. Cary thinks she’s afraid of Leeanne. Tiffany says she doesn’t think it’s okay, but she knows Leeanne doesn’t really mean the things she says in anger. In her interview, Tiffany wonders why no one is pointing out what Marie did to provoke Leeanne in the first place.

Leeanne says she’s calling a cab. Because it’s better to run away than actually face the consequences of her actions. She tells Tiffany that she feels like Cary is judging her and it’s not all right for her to be human, but it’s okay for Cary to have stolen somebody else’s husband, which is a totally appropriate thing to drag in. Tiffany makes her come back in.

Leeanne whines to Brandi about what happened to her as a child. In her interview, Brandi says she gets that this is the way Leeanne behaves when she’s hurt. She says every time Leeanne has an issue, she runs away (thank you), and she should stay and take responsibility for her actions (double thank you). Brandi asks Leeanne to stay.

The girls go to the spa. Cary is glad to get out and move past the drama. She says something isn’t right with Leeanne upstairs. Ya think? Stephanie says Marie is probably used to the abuse.

Leeanne and Marie talk. Marie says she didn’t sleep well. She says that she loves Leeanne unconditionally and knows she was hurt and said things she didn’t mean. Leeanne says she’s disappointed in herself and Marie says she’s sorry. Weird. It’s like an abused wife, apologizing because the husband beat her.

It’s time to go out for the evening. Stephanie says her only hope for their birthday dinner is that no one gets killed. Leeanne barely says a word, sitting silently with a sour face, and Stephanie says that’s how she works – she goes out of her mind and then shuts down. Cary says something that I miss, Leeanne pouts, and Tiffany says Leeanne is being attacked. Somehow the topic of Leeanne’s fit is brought up again and Tiffany claims she didn’t hear anything. Marie says it’s between her and Leeanne, and Tiffany says no one is getting what she’s saying. Brandi excuses herself.In her interview, Brandi says Tiffany is a Leeanne enabler.

Tiffany says she tries to surround herself with people who bring out the best in her, but somehow the worst is being brought out. She tells Stephanie it’s really no one else’s business and Stephanie says don’t bring it in her house then.

Stephanie meets Brandi in the bathroom. Brandi says she’s exhausted and hungover and the situation with Tiffany is ridiculous. So she comes back to the table to drink some more. Carly says she has to “tinkle,” a euphamism I haven’t heard in a long time. Brandi is disappointed at how Leeanne’s behavior gets swept under the rug and says she’ll never change if that continues to happen.

Next time, a huge event is planned, dog poop is found, and Leeanne spreads rumors about Cary who confronts her.

Jun6

June 5, 2016 – The Throne Game & Sunset Shahs

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Game of Thrones

Brother Ray and his merry band are doing some carpentry. Break time! The Hound is back (!) and is one of the carpenters. Brother Ray brings us up to speed, telling the story of finding The Hound at death’s door. He asks what kept him going and The Hound says hate. Brother Ray says there’s a reason he’s alive and the gods aren’t done with him yet. Brother Ray gives a mini speech about gods, ending with what matters is that there’s a plan for The Hound. The Hound wonders why he hasn’t been punished, and Brother Ray says he has, which is what I’d just thought.

The High Sparrow checks in on Margaery, who is reading The Book of the Mother. She says that for years she didn’t really love the poor, they disgusted her. The High Sparrow says that’s because they are “us” without the finery. The Sparrow suggests Margaery do her marriage bed duty because the king must have an heir. He tells her she’s made great progress and he hopes her grandmother follows her lead. He says Margaery must teach her the new way, as he’s in fear of her safety.

Margaery meets with Olenna. She has a handmaiden with her and Olenna isn’t too pleased about that. Margaery tells Olenna that she has been shown mercy. Olenna says what mercy has Loras been shown, and Margaery says he needs to confess his sins. Olenna wants Margaery to come back with her, but Margaery says her place is with the king. She tells Olenna to go home and find comfort in prayer and good works. The tell each other good-by.

Outside, Olenna opens a note. It has a rose drawn on it, a symbol of the House Tyrell. For a second, I thought she was taking out a cell phone. Ha-ha.

Tormund gives a not-so-pep talk to his men. One of the men gripes that it’s not their fight, and Jon says they need to beat Ramsay if they’re going to survive. Tormund says Jon died for them and if they don’t step up for him, they’re cowards and deserve to be the last of the freefolk.

The giant, Yum-Yum or whatever his name is, is down with that. At least I think he is. Who the blip knows what he just said. The rest agree to be on Jon’s side. Jon is skeptical, and Tormund says if they say they’ll do something, they’ll do it.

Cersei tells Olenna that her grandson is still prisoner. Olenna tells her what happened was from Cersei’s stupidity. Cersei agrees she’s made mistakes, but says they have to fight the enemy together if they’re to survive. Olenna wonders if Cersei is the most evil person she’s ever met and says she’s getting the hell out of there. She tells Cersei that if she’s smart, she’ll get out too. Cersei says she’ll never leave and Olenna says good luck with that.

Jaime and his army approach Rinverrun. Jaime suggests Bronn lead them. Bronn is hesitant, but gives Jaime a list of what he was promised. Jaime starts to say a Lannister always pays his debts, but Bronn tells him to shut up.

The Freys threaten to hang Lord Edmure if the castle isn’t given up. No response. Now what? Black Walder puts a knife to Edmure’s throat and says he really means it this time. The Blackfish tells him to go ahead. Ha-ha! Black Walder does nothing and no one knows what to do since they weren’t expecting that.

They weren’t expecting Jaime either, who smacks Black Walder and tells them to bathe and feed Edmure. He says the next time the Blackfish looks out, he’s going to see Jaime’s army instead of whatever these guys are and if they don’t like it, they can go home.

Jon and Sansa approach Lady Lyanna Mormont, who’s like ten years old. She asks what they want. Jon says House Stark needs them and he’s there to ask for their allegiance. Lyanna asks who’s the Stark, since Jon is a Snow and Sansa is a Bolton. Sansa says she did what she had to. Lyanna says they don’t just want her allegiance they want her fighting men, but she’s responsible for Bear Island, so why should she fight someone else’s war? Kind of like what Hamilton said about the French Revolution.

Davos interjects, saying that the both of them are in positions they didn’t expect, and that ultimately, it’s their war too. He says it’s a war between the living and the dead and make no mistake, the dead are coming. He says as long as the Boltons hold Winterfell, the North is divided. He understands she wants to protect her people, but they have to fight together.

Lady Lyanna says they’ve supported House Stark for a thousand years and won’t break faith today. She can give them 62 men. She says every man fights with the strength of ten. Davos says if they fight with half the strength that she does, the Boltons are doomed.

Jaime approaches Riverrun alone and the drawbridge is lowered. The Blackfish asks why he came. He says Riverrun belongs to House Frey and on authority of King Tommen, he’s here to take it back. He says if the Blackfish surrenders, he’ll spare his men. He says the war is over and why sacrifice men to a lost cause? The Blackfish says as long as he’s standing, the war is on. He says they can attack or try and stave them out, but they have provision for two years. Jaime asks why the Blackfish met with him if he didn’t want a treaty. The Blackfish says he just wanted to see Jaime in person and he’s disappointed.

The lord of House Glover wants to know who Jon’s army is. Jon says the bulk of them are Wildings and the lord wants no part of it. Sansa reminds him that House Glover is pledged to House Stark. The lord asks where Robb was when the Ironborn were attacked? He answers his own question with, getting himself and those who followed him killed. He says House Stark is dead. Ouch!

Theon is at a tavern bugging out. He asks Yara why they had to come there and she tells him to relax and have a drink. She sees he’s in pain and apologizes. She says she never wants to hurt him. She says she knows he’s had some bad years, but she’s tired of seeing him cower like a dog. She insists that he have a drink and says she needs the real Theon, and asks if he can find him. She says they’ll get justice for him, or even better, revenge. She tells him if he’s so broken there’s no coming back, to end it all, but if he’s still Theon, they’re going to Meereen and making a pact with the Dragon Queen. They’re going to take back the Iron Islands. She asks if he’s with her and he nods.

Back on the Stark recruitment tour, Davos goes to deal with something and Sansa tells Jon that they need more men. He says there’s no time and they’ll have to fight with what they have. Sansa sees a raven and a light bulb comes on over her head. She sends out a note.

Brother Ray gives a motivational speech. He talks about having been a murderous rogue and feeling shame. He says all he can do now is bring some goodness back into the world and it’s never too late to come back. The Hound ponders this.

Three men on horseback approach. They say they’ve come e to protect the people and ask if they have any horses. Brother Ray says they have no horses or gold, but they’re welcome to stay for supper. The spokesguy tells him to stay safe as the night is filled with terrors.

The Hound tells Brother Ray they’re from the Red Guard. He says they should fight. Brother Ray says his people aren’t fighters and you don’t cure a disease by spreading it to more people, but the Hound says you don’t cure it by dying either.

Arya is looking for passage back to Westeros. She throws a guy a bunch of money to get a dawn departure. While Arya is gazing at the horizon off of a bridge, The Waif comes along and stabs her a bunch of times. Arya jumps into the water below. Surprisingly, she’s still alive and pulls herself up some steps. She walks among the people at the market, bleeding and trembling, and nobody even tries to help. Geez, and they say New Yorkers are cold.

While cutting wood in the forest, the Hound sees there’s something amiss at the camp. It’s worse than amiss; everyone has been slaughtered. Brother Ray hangs from a gallows. Once again, this show breaks a million hearts. The Hound grabs his axe. Hopefully to help him seek revenge.

Damn, that was really sad. The Hound is one of my favorite characters and I had visions of him being a changed man because of Brother Ray.

Next time, The Mountain fights for Cersei and Brienne feels compelled to fight for Jaime,.

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and Adam are off for their honeymoon, which I guess is just one night at the house because Reza says he’ll see the friends in the morning. Outside, Mike calls Jessica. He’s sitting in the limo, trying to talk to her, and MJ wants to get in the middle of things. GG becomes the voice of reason, which makes it extra frightening. Mike tells the limo driver to go, leaving GG at the curb. GG gets in the limo with MJ and Tommy.

MJ says they don’t need any problems. Tommy tells her, and rightly so, to stop causing them and stop antagonizing Mike. In his interview, Tommy says he thinks the break-up makes her afraid for their own relationship and she’s angry at Mike for not making it work. MJ is drunk too, which makes her extra unreasonable.

Reza gives Adam a piggyback ride over the threshhold and nearly throws his back out.

MJ apologizes to Mike and GG tells her to just go change her clothes. In her interview, GG says she can’t believe she’s the peacemaker and ever since the camping trip, she’s felt more laid back. She wants to do some peacemaking tonight, but Mike just want to go to sleep. She tells him not to sweep things under the rug.

There’s a big brunch at Reza’s place. MJ is trying to get everyone to straighten up a little bit. GG says she’s taking all her anger out like a crazy cleaning lady. Maybe, but they are a bunch of slobs.

No surprise, the food is fabulous, with an omelette station and everything. It reminds me of a breakfast buffet at a Manhattan hotel where I stayed once. If I hadn’t had to be somewhere, I’d still be there eating.

GG tells Asa and Reza about the Mike/MJ issue. In her interview, MJ says she and Mike hae been friends forever, but lately it’s like their friendship is in a fog. They all sit down to eat and MJ tells Mike that he doesn’t share anything. Mike says he’ll do it in his own time and MJ gets up from the table all ticked off. Mike tells her she’s being aggressive and she says she just speaks her mind. In his interview, Mike says MJ is turning into Vida. Ooh, them’s fightin’ words.

Reza tells them to take the honesty inside. Mike and MJ continue to argue. MJ mentions Jessica leaving Mike and Mike tells her when she’s in a relationship as long as they’ve been in one, she can give him advice. Reza takes MJ aside and tells her to give Mike some space. Reza tells her Mike is in protective mode and to back off. Mike comes out and tells MJ he doesn’t want to hurt her, but he’s feeling attacked. The have a surprisingly mature discussion about friendship and hug it out.

In his interview, Reza says some beautiful things about marriage. He’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him and I’m happy for him.

One of Reza’s dreams is to do stand up comedy. He is a very funny guy, although that doens’t necessarily translate well to the stage. He consults with a friend of Asa’s who’s in the business who says she’ll mentor him. She suggests open mic night. He says he just threw a surprise wedding, so why not take more chances in life? You go, Reza!

Tommy and MJ go out to dinner. MJ says some of the things she takes seriously, he takes as a joke. I have news for her, that struggle is real in all relationships. Tommy says she always has a laundry list of what he’s done wrong, but if he did the same thing, he wouldn’t last a minute. He tells her that her go-to move is to immediately say they’re through. He says she needs to learn how to let things go. She wants to go to couples’ therapy and he says he needs a good ref.

Mike and Shervin meet for dinner. Mike asks about Shervin’s date with the Australian girl and he says everything is going great, but we flash back to the not-so-great-for-her date. Mike says he’s taken down all his social media platforms and he doesn’t exist on the internet now. Um…not quite, Mike. The internet is forever. He says he did it for Jessica’s sake, which is very good of him and shows he’s serious. In his interview, Shervin says a break up isn’t an option for Mike. Mike says he and Jessica are dating again and hopefully, things will fall into place again.

Khouran, a performer, comes by Reza’s place. Khouran is a little person who Reza wants to costume as his mini me. Silly String is also involved. Khouran hand delivers invitations to Reza’s show to all the friends and when they answer the door, they get sprayed. It’s kind of cute.

Mike says it’s the first time in six years that he’s been alone in the house. He calls Jessica and asks her to come out for Reza’s show. Mike feels that spending time together would bring them a step closer to reconciliation.

Reza is nervous, but Adam tells him that he succeeds in everything he tries, and even if it doesn’t go well, he’ll come home to a good life.True dat! They get to the club early and order some appetizers. Mike shows up wearing a T-shirt with Reza’s picture on it. Jessica shows up and everyone makes a big fuss.

Mike says Jessica seems nervous and standoffish. How is this different from any other time and what did he expect? Reza is extremely nervous. Almost immediately, someone’s phone goes off after he takes the stage. In his interview, he says it’s so much harder than he expected it to be. Yep, it’s always easy when it’s not you. In her interview, GG says it hurts to watch. His jokes are going over like a lead balloon. He ends with a racist joke which brings out a collective oh-no-you-didn’t from the crowd. The whole thing is just bad.

GG gives everyone a flash, saying that when you have fake boobs, they belong to everyone. I didn’t know that was the rule. Asa asks Jessica about taking a couples’ portrait for a project she’s doing. Jessica says okay, which encourages Mike. Afterwards, they go to a supper club. Mike and Jessica make out in front of the club. They never make it inside, deciding to leave together.

Next time, Tommy and MJ go to therapy, Reza thinks GG is lying about her arthritis, Asa has a fashion show, and Mike and Jessica have an argument.

Jun2

June 1, 2016- GH & NYC in the Berkshires

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

No Little Women tonight due to the Roots extravaganza. MasterChef has started up again though, as well as Wayward Pines, which for some reason I want to call Wandering or Whispering Pines. Not all of the critics are thrilled with Pines taking the story three years into the future when the kids have taken over, as well as changing most of the cast, but so far, so good with me. Moving on.

General Hospital

Lulu and Dante look over properties while they sit in the park. He thinks one place is perfect for the three of them and she asks what about the four of them? Dante wonders if she’s ready to move forward with that, and she says if you wait until you’re ready for anything, it will never happen. Truth! She says since they’re looking for a house, they might as well plan ahead. Both their phones ring at the same time with news about Nicholas and Lucas. They both leave for Windemere.

Kiki is on break, so she sits down with Dillon. He asks if someone recorded their Nurses Ball performance because it felt like a dream. She says she had a great time with him. He apologizes for moving too fast, but says it felt right to kiss her. She says it’s the best thing that’s happened to her in a while. I’m in. I’ve thought it was time for her to shake Morgan for a while.

Carly talks to Bobbie on the phone and tells Sonny that Lucas is in a coma.

Hayden and Laura talk about finding Nicholas. Spencer is back. I missed him! He has a cute spiky haircut and glasses now. He asks what’s up with all the police and if somebody died. Laura explains that they found a broken window and now they can’t find Nicholas. She says the police are there to help figure out what happened. Spencer says foul play must be suspected if the police are there. Hayden mentions Jason and Elizabeth picks right up on that.

Jason insists on having his lawyer there for questioning. Jordan says that implies guilt, but Diane walks in and says not having a lawyer implies stupidity. Jordan’s first question is how Jason ended up in Nicholas’s bedroom around the same time Nicholas crashed through the window. Diane gets Jordan up to speed about the ELQ lawsuit. Jordan asks Jason what he was doing at Windemere.

Sonny wants to talk to Carly before she leaves for the hospital, but the doorbell rings. It’s Ava who’s there to pick up Avery per the agreement. Carly is surprised, and Ava makes a snarky remark about Avery being her and Sonny’s daughter, so Carly doesn’t need to know everything. Carly wants to talk to Sonny privately. Sonny wants Ava to apologize to Carly for being rude.

Hayden tries to comfort Spencer. Laura says it’s easy to go to the worst case scenario, but they have a lot of reason to be hopeful. Spencer says he knows he should’t jump to conclusions without evidence and asks about DNA and some other stuff no other kid of that age would know about. He says they’ve covered all they collectively know, so he’s going to find the detectives for an update. Laura wants to go with him. Spencer thinks it’s a good idea in case the detectives stonewall him because he’s a kid. He cracks me up.

Elizabeth says Hayden tried to kill Nicholas and wants to pin it on Jason. Probably plenty of people know she was still at the ball at the time, so that seems stupid even for Elizabeth. And like Elizabeth didn’t have her beady little eyes on Hayden the whole time they were in the same place.

Jason says he went to Windemere to talk to Nicholas about the lawsuit. He says they never talked though. He found the door open and walked in. He called out for Nicholas and then heard noises and went to investigate, finding a broken window and wrecked room. He says he heard the window break when he was in the hallway and saw a body on the rocks below. Jordan asks if it appeared that Nicholas had fallen to his death. Jason says he doesn’t know, but Jordan says he knows more than he’s saying and she thinks he pushed Nicholas.

Sonny tells Ava that if he can’t trust her to be civil to his wife, how can he trust her with his daughter? Ava apologizes and says she hopes they can make peace for Avery’s sake. Carly goes to get Avery. Ava thanks Sonny, but he says if she screws up again, it’s over.

Hayden is like, I’m half Nicolas’s size, how could I push him out a window? Elizabeth says maybe she caught him off guard. Hayden says she wasn’t even there when it happened, but Elizabeth says maybe she had someone else do it.

Diane says Jordan isn’t asking questions, just making baseless accusations. After finding out that Diane is also representing Sam, Jordan asks her about Nicholas and Jason’s conversation about the lawsuit. Sam acts like she came in right behind Jason and Jordan asks if Sam heard the same noises. She says she has surveillance footage that belies what they’re both telling her.

Jordan shows the video in which Sam arrived seven minutes after Jason.

Hayden says Elizabeth looks paranoid and unreliable. Lulu and Dante come running in looking for Laura. Elizabeth tells them she’s with the detectives, so they leave. Now that I think of it, maybe Elizabeth pushed Nicholas out the window. What’s she doing there anyway?

Dillon says he was afraid Kiki would think she made a mistake. She asks if he feels that way and he says no. She says she finally feels like she can breathe. She says she likes spending time with him a lot, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t on the rebound. He says that’s not necessarily bad and they can take things at a snail’s pace. He wants to take her on a date. She says what about the concert, but Dillon says she’ll be more of an assistant there. She says he makes her life uncomplicated and he says he hopes that isn’t code for boring, but she tells him it’s just what she needs.

Ava says she got the message loud and clear. Carly brings Avery down and Ava takes her. Um…we hear crying sounds, but Avery isn’t crying. Note to director: I get that kids don’t always do what you want, but try to make it somewhat believable – like maybe don’t show us her face at that point. She leaves and Carly is like, what’s up with that? Sonny tells her to calm down and explains about how they’d cut AJ out of Michael’s life and made a mess of things. He says Ava might manipulate Avery during visits, but she’ll come home to them, and when she starts rebelling as a teenager, who knows about rebelling better than them? He says this way everything will be up front.

Ava takes Avery to visit Kiki at the MetroCourt.

Diane tells Jordan the interview is over. Jordan tells Sam to rethink her statement. Diane says the PCPD has a history of bias against her client and Jordan needs to stop running to a rash judgment. Jordan says Diane’s assurances are the best that money can buy, but are meaningless to her. She leaves and Jason asks how much trouble he’s in. Diane says seven minutes is a lot, especially combined with their previous altercations. She says she believes him, but a jury might not. She says she’d have to convince them that he wanted to make peace because of his late sister, but hopes it doesn’t come to that. She says now that he’s starting to remember things, to remember that he’s always been her favorite client, and not just because he paid on time.

Ava explains that she and Sonny came to an understanding. Kiki says she’s proud of her and takes Avery to the kitchen for “something yummy.” Dillon congratulates Ava. She says ditto for helping Kiki get over Morgan.

Carly says it sucks when your worst mistakes come back to bite you, but they can’t let the same thing happen to Avery that happened to Michael. Sonny thanks her for getting the video, since now it’s all on his terms. She leaves for the hospital.

Hayden asks if Elizabeth thinks she has Nicholas stashed away playing pinochle with Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart. Elizabeth brings Hayden’s father into it and says she’s responsible for what happened to Nicholas and is going to pay.

Dante tells Spencer it’s still being considered a search and rescue. Spencer says considering all the factors, it’s doubtful his father is still alive. Laura says he’s in denial, but I think he’s being the way he always is – precocious. He tells Hayden that even if Nicholas is gone, she still has him. Precocious, but cute.

Elizabeth wants Jordan to arrest Hayden for Nicholas’s murder. On no grounds whatsoever.

Jason tells Sam he’s not sticking around to get arrested.

Tomorrow, Nathan talks in his sleep, Finn visits Hayden, Sam decides to go with Jason.

The Real Housewives of New York City

The Countess insists that she and Bethenny came up with the Skinny Girl idea together. We flash way back and no, they didn’t. The Countess changes the subject to Bethenny’s love life. Bethenny says that when the Countess asks you about who you’re dating, you enter the witness protection program.

Bethenny goes over to talk to Ramona. The Countess can hear her and says Bethenny is basically a bully and goes on to say Bethenny copied her haircut. In her interview, Dorinda says Bethenny is like a sniper once you get in her sights. Carole arrives in the middle of this and thinks Bethenny is arguing with John at first.

Carole says if she’d known the Countess was coming, she would have stayed home. She talks privately to Dorinda and says she doesn’t want to hang out with the Countess, but she’s not going to a hotel. In her interview, Dorinda swears she told Carole the Countess was going to be there and I thought she had too.

Ramona talks about the Countess breaking girl code by not checking if Ramona was done with dating Tom before she swooped down on him. The Countess won’t let her finish a sentence, and this is probably the first time I’m on Ramona’s side in thinking that she should be heard.

Bethenny talks to Jules about the Countess and hears the Countess talking about the hair thing. Bethenny interrupts and somehow drags Grey Gardens into it, which make me laugh. Bethenny says the Countess pretends to be something she’s not. The Countess says she’s been nothing but gracious, and wonders what Bethenny’s problem is. Bethenny says their friendship hasn’t evolved because the Countess isn’t a girl’s girl and she’s a hypocrite. She says the Countess sleeps with everyone and pretends she doesn’t. Whoa. Bethenny calls her a slut, a liar and a snake. Double whoa. In her interview, Bethenny says even she can’t believe the words that are coming out of her mouth.

Ha-ha! The housekeeper is trying to remain unobtrusive, moving things around in the kitchen while she’s really listening. In her interview, Dorinda says Bethenny isn’t being very respectful of her as a hostess and I agree. She just keeps going on and on, and says Sonja told her the Countess brings home a million guys. The Countess brings up the haircut again. SMH.

Bethenny tells everyone she’s lost her mind and needs to lie down. Dorinda asks why she’s being so crazy and Bethenny says she can’t take bullshit. Jules goes outside to call her father and the rest of the girls congregate in Bethenny’s room. The Countess approaches Jules and says she can’t stay here. Jules tells her there are bigger problems, like her father having pneumonia. The Countess doesn’t listen at all and just keeps talking about being called a whore and how Dorinda didn’t defend her.

Dorinda comes out and the Countess says thanks a lot. She talks about what both Bethenny and Ramona said. Dorinda says she didn’t hear all of it and in her interview says it’s not her job to defend the Countess. The Countess says she’s leaving if Bethenny can’t back up what she said. Um…she kind of did that.

Meanwhile, Ramona and Bethenny are going over the haircut business. Bethenny says poor Dorinda can’t have a normal party. She says Ramona must be thrilled she’s not at the center of the drama. Although she is a part of it. Jules comes in and repeats what the Countess told her and how unaware she was of Jules’s immediate need.

Everyone is hanging out on the bed when the Countess walks in and says she’s leaving. She says she thought they were there to have a good time. She talks to Ramona in the kitchen. She keeps saying she’s leaving, but doesn’t go anywhere. She goes on about how Dorinda says it wasn’t her birthday celebration even thought there’s a birthday cake on the counter. Well, if she’d listened, Dorinda said the cake had been around for a while.

Dorinda comes in and tells her to get a grip, because her mother bought the cake. She thinks everyone is acting poorly when she put in so much effort. On top of it, she didn’t invite Sonja, hoping to avoid drama. She says they should have all just kept their gripes to themselves; she’s ashamed and if they can’t behave, they need to go home. I can’t say that I blame her one bit. This wasn’t even like they’d been there a while and were maybe drunk and/or sick of each other. They started out of the gate this way.

Dorinda tells them they’re adults and this is her home. She brings up the cake again and tells them to drop the subject because she looks at it like a personal affront to her mother. The Countess can’t seem to shut her mouth about her feelings. She’s wearing one of those leather vests with fur trim and it looks like she’s trying to dress too young.

Everyone gets a grip and they open presents. They all get games. In her interview, Bethenny says she doesn’t like that side of herself, and she’s no stranger to people trying to claim what’s hers. In her interview, Carole says she agrees with Bethenny, but her delivery stinks. To break the mood, it’s discovered that Ramona’s dog has made poopy all over the place.

In Sonjaland, Sonja is having some things tightened, while she thinks the other girls are off having a fabulous dinner. I go ♫ la-la-la ♫ when they go over what’s being tightened. The doctor starts talking about a probe and I la-la louder. OMG – they’re doing the procedure right in front of us and nobody wants to see this.

Bethenny says she always goes back to compassion and regret with the Countess. but it’s been a decade of nonsense. We go down Memory Lane with some clips. Carole and Ramona talk about the Countess. Dorinda joins them, followed by the Countess. Carole thinks everyone feels uncomfortable except the Countess, which is ironic since she’s the one causing the friction. Dorinda decides to take a nap and Carole talks to Jules in the hallway, but they end up eavesdropping. Ramona asks if the Countess is sorry she called Carole a pedophile for dating her niece’s 28-year-old ex. Ramona tells her that she has to apologize.

The Countess decides to send a marginally funny text and asks Jules how to spell pedophile when she comes in to pick up her bag, which Carole does not find amusing. The Countess and Ramona play pool, while Jules and Carole have drinks and mess around on the laptop. Ramona asks if Carole has gotten a text from her recently because she wants her to see what the Countess sent, but she hasn’t. It would be really funny if the Countess sent it to someone else. Particularly a male friend.

Dorinda and Bethenny talk relationships, while Ramona tries to explain why Bethenny is upset to the Countess. In her interview, Ramona says the Countess never wants to own up to anything and the Countess keeps saying it was just a misunderstanding. Much like people use the word “miscommunication” when they’ve screwed up. The Countess texts Bethenny because no one can actually talk face to face when it involves an apology.

Both Bethenny and Carole get the texts. Bethenny tells Carole that hers is the weirdest text she’s ever heard. Carole says the Countess can’t be trusted. Bethenny is still astounded at her own tirade. Ramona joins them.

The Countess tells Dorinda the bottom line is that Tom likes her better than Ramona. Maybe so, but she should have talked to Ramona first. She asks who is Bethenny to be judging her. She thinks Bethenny is unhappy and jealous of her happiness. Suddenly, Bethenny is standing there and asks if this is part of the apology. D’oh!

Next time, the argument continues, more holiday festivities and apologies, and Sonja goes off like a rocket.

Jun1

May 31, 2016 – GH & Millionaires On Deck

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden is miffed that Curtis called the cops before she had a chance to look for the diamonds. He asks if she doesn’t want to know what happened to Nicholas, and she says she already does – Jason pushed him out the window. Well, I’d like to know what happened.

There’s been no change in Lucas’s condition. Brad is terrified, angry and confused, wondering how this happened. He thinks they should call Julian. Finn says he’ll stay with Lucas until Brad gets back. I dunno if that’s such a good idea. Obrecht doesn’t either, since she tells him to get away from the patient.

Alexis blows Julian off, saying she has work to do. Julian says she’s being standoffish, but Alexis says he’s killed several people and made her an accessory after the fact. He says he did it to keep them safe, but she wonders how that works. Molly comes in. Julian asks how the wedding was, and his phone rings. Brad tells him what happened.

Sabrrrina goes to Baby Edward and Tracy tells her to back off. Sabrrrina thanks her for taking care of him and says she’s a trusted friend. Tracy says it’s too bad she can’t say the same for Sabrrrina.

Ava comes to get Avery. Sonny says she’s never taking Avery again. Ava says apparently Carly told him what happened. She says he wants Avery to be a prize and he says there’s no contest; he already won. He tells her to get her sorry ass out of his house and don’t come back.

Sabrrrina asks what she did to offend Tracy. Tracy tells her about having brain surgery and says she was too busy dealing with that to think of offenses. Sabrrrina says she wishes she could have been there for Tracy and Tracy says she does too.

Sam introduces herself to Curtis and asks what he’s doing there. He says he’s a friend of Hayden’s. Sam asks when they got there, which is none of her business. Hayden says they got there after Jason pushed Nicholas out the window. Touche.

Tracy sarcastically tells Sabrrrina she did the smart thing. Instead of calling a friend, she ran off with a fugitive, not thinking about her baby. She says friends don’t disappear or at least they say good-by. She says she’s never really made a friend worth keeping and this is a perfect example.

Molly tells Alexis that Lucas was a no-show, and that Julian just got a call from Brad.

Julian gets to the hospital. Obrecht tells Finn that he has no business being there. She says Brad made a mistake in asking him; she saw him messing with the chart. She says she’s there to protect Lucas. She says if Lucas dies tonight, look in the mirror for his killer. Julian walks in.

Jordan arrives at Windemere. Curtis tells Hayden that he’s sure the diamonds are with Nicholas. Jason tells Sam it doesn’t look like there was a fight. Jordan tells everyone to go downstairs for questioning.

Ava tells Sonny it’s cruel to keep a mother from her child. He tells her she got a sweet deal because he’s letting her live. Bleh. I don’t like this side of Sonny at all. I don’t like Carly in this mode either. Whatever else she might be, Ava is still Avery’s mother.

Molly asks Alexis what’s upsetting her. She says it’s nothing, but Molly wonders what Julian did now.

Julian doesn’t understand what’s going on since Lucas is relatively healthy and takes care of his diabetes and such. Obrecht tells him about the recent deaths at GH and says they both had the same doctor. Julian grabs Finn and asks wtf?

Tracy says she doesn’t wish Sabrrrina harm, but she should know there are consequences for running off with a criminal. Sabrrrina wants to leave, but Michael reminds her that the deal was for her to stay the night there. She wants to spend time with Baby Edward, but Tracy says she’s his legal guardian.

Jordan starts with Curtis, who answers like the cop he used to be. She asks why he was escorting Hayden home. Hayden says she hired Curtis to investigate something. Jordan remembers Hayden trying to talk to her at the ball and Nicholas steering her away. Hayden makes up something about Shawn being paroled soon. Jordan asks Jason why he came to Windemere and he wants to talk to his lawyer. Curtis says Hayden can legally have them arrested for trespassing. Hayden says then they can be arrested for murder. Laura comes in and asks where Nicholas is.

Ava says she thought she had a truce with Sonny. He says she must think he has a short memory and brings up dead Connie. He says Ava murdered an unarmed, innocent woman and he’s never going to forget. She asks if this is how he gets even. He says it’s not about that, it’s about keeping Avery safe; avenging Connie’s death is a plus. Ava says she can’t live without her daughter. Sonny says she’ll learn. Ava says she doesn’t want to and she wants Sonny to kill her.

Laura asks if anyone has checked the property. Jordan says she has people everywhere. She says evidence is being collected and they’re not even positive it was Nicholas on the rocks. An officer comes in with Nicholas’s phone.

Ava says Sonny won’t have to worry about Avery tracking her down one day and asking why Sonny separated them. He tells her she’s not Avery’s mother; she’s nothing. Ava says he was planning to kill her after Avery’s birth and this is the reckoning he’s been waiting for.

Tracy shows Sabrrrina the paper that says she has temporary guardianship. Sabrrrina says she didn’t abandon her baby; she trusted that Tracy would take care of him. Tracy tells her she’s an unfit parent and what does Sabrrrina want her to do if she goes to jail? Send him to foster care or back to Puerto Rico? Michael says she’s doing to Sabrrrina what was almost done to her.

Brad pulls Julian off of Finn. He says Finn helped with Lucas. Obrecht says he might have revived Lucas, but he also might be responsible for what happened in the first place.

Molly wonders why Alexis isn’t following up on Lucas. She says she thinks Julian pressured Alexis into defending Carrrlos. She says she thought things would lighten up when it was over, but it seems to have gotten worse. Alexis asks what Molly would do if she made a regrettable decision. Molly says asks for help from the ones who love her and see what could be done to right things again.

Laura is perplexed. Jordan asks who else was there. Hayden says Spencer had a sleepover and Nicholas gave the staff the night off. She says they have surveillance cameras though, and Jordan tells an officer to get the film.

Finn tells Obrecht it’s an unfounded accusation. She says she’s taking it up with the board and he’d better hope Lucas isn’t the third fatality.

Julian talks to Lucas. Brad says the entire hospital is working to save him. Julian says someone there did this, but Brad says that he doesn’t believe anyone at GH would hurt Lucas. Brad goes to check on the tests.

Alexis confirms her meeting with Diane and says she’s going to turn Julian in. Julian calls and says he needs her.

Sonny says fine, Ava can spend time with Avery. He’ll make an arrangement, but they follow the same rules and never lie to Avery. He says when she’s old enough, she’ll make the decision if she wants Ava in her life.

Michael says Tracy was afraid that Paul would take Dillon away and did stupid things. Tracy calls the baby Edward and Sabrrrina says she’d already named him after Edward, but was calling him Teddy for short. Michael asks Tracy to let Sabrrrina be with her baby tonight.

Finn tells Obrecht to go ahead and go after him, but leave his patients and their families out of it or he’ll take her down. She says many have tried. Brad brings a test result over and says some drug I’ve never heard of was in his system and it was enough to kill him.

Ava asks to take Avery home for the night. Sonny says it’s too late, so she asks to just look in on her. He says okay, but there’s a limit to his generosity and she better not pull any funny stuff. He adds that one day the truth will come out about Connie and he’s not going to help her.

Laura believes they’re going to find Nicholas. Jordan tells her to let her know if she needs anything. She tells Jason that there’s enough to make him a suspect if a murder occurred here. She says he can go home for now, but don’t leave town. He and Sam leave.

Tracy gives Sabrrrina her baby. Michael is going to end up marrying her, isn’t he?

Alexis comes to the hospital and Julian hugs her. She barely responds.

Sonny gives Avery to Ava.

Tomorrow, Lulu and Dante talk babies, Jordan thinks Jason pushed Nicholas, and Dillon asks Kiki on a date.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Bryan and Tiffany are fooling around in Bryan’s bunk and Ben tells him that it isn’t a frat house and he can go “good time” somewhere else. Bryan continues to flirt with Tiffany in the morning. Ben apologizes for overreacting, although I don’t blame him. I don’t want to be part of somebody else’s good time either. Bryan tells Bobby what happened.

The primaries are best friends and Oklahoma millionaires. Bryan tells Danny to watch his step. Yep. He’s only got one more strike.

Hannah says Ben gives off mixed messages. This is true, because he doesn’t know how to say he’d rather be with Tiffany. Another reason I think he apologized for his reaction. They take on some hay bales for the country themed party. Bobby says he’s not looking forward to the clean up. Oh yeah. That’s going to make a mess.

The guests arrive. Julia makes fun of them before we even meet them, which I don’t like. Gee, I’m sorry we can’t all come from London or wherever the blip you’re from. Hannah has to get some pear vodka underneath where the guests are sitting and makes up some elaborate ruse to get them outside so she doesn’t have to ask them to move. Why? Maybe they were comfortable and now they’re disappointed that they didn’t see the dolphin you told them was out there.

Immediately, Danny starts telling the primary personal stuff. Bryan calls him to do some actual work. They drop anchor. Ben tells us that beach picnics, which the guests have requested, are stressful because they involve everyone. Oh man, the food. It looks so good.

Bobby tells Danny he’s been slacking. They start to get in an argument. Danny tells Bobby yelling isn’t solving anything. Danny gives him a you’re-a-girl type insult and Bobby nearly chest bumps him. Bryan gets in between them and asks Danny what he’s thinking. Bobby tells Danny to get off the boat and Bryan agrees.

Danny asks Ben for advice. Ben thinks Danny is sweet, but emotional. Danny tells him about the argument, but Ben tells him he shouldn’t have been rude to Bobby to begin with. He tells Danny he’s lucky to be here and to suck it up. Danny takes this well, probably because Ben is funny and has an accent.

Bryan tells Bobby and Danny to work it out. Danny apologizes. Bobby tells him it’s cool, but he needs to watch his mouth. Danny says he doesn’t want to fight anymore. Bobby says he’s squashing it for now, but has no doubt Danny is going to be a dumbass again later.

Hannah is pissed because Tiffany hasn’t gotten to all the things on the list. She breaks a cake plate and throws it into the ocean. This is an accident, not some tradition. I’m hoping it washes up on the beach near me. That would be a great find.

Ben asks for Danny’s help with dinner and Captain Mark says okay. Bryan says that Danny is like an annoying little ant stuck in your shoe and I choke on my seltzer, laughing. Hannah is relying on Tiffany a lot because she’s the American of the stews. The primary asks that the staff join them for some kind of dancing thing where there’s a prize.

The stews wear Daisy Dukes, with the guys’ shirts knotted at the waist. It’s very cute. Dinner is served and one of the primaries is primary is wearing a crown. SMH. Since it’s a one night charter, Ben says he has one chance to impress them and he does. They clean their plates.

Let the dancing commence! Bobby’s parents owned a dance studio. He says he’s dead sober because he doesn’t want to blow any moves. Just bust them. Ha-ha! Tiffany convinces us she can’t dance, but Hannah isn’t bad. She wins the prize. Julia was tending bar, so she didn’t have to participate.

The drunken guests continue on with line dancing and Danny joins them. No good can come of this. A threesome happens in the hot tub (eww!) Danny sees too much and Hannah kind of chastises him. Ben tells her to back off and just give the kid advice. Hannah isn’t cool with him not supporting her.

Ben and Danny rehash the issue in the morning. Danny says it wasn’t exactly how Hannah put it. The threesome story goes around the boat. Hannah is still annoyed. Bryan approaches Danny about it. Danny says all that happened was that one of the guests was telling his life story. Who the hell knows? Who the hell cares? The incredible breakfast is being served. Hannah tells Ben they’ll talk about it later when the guests are gone. Ha! It sounds like a regular party at my house.

Danny says in the end, it’s all about the tip, but he can’t seem to assure the guests an amazing time without getting into trouble. When they leave, he asks Hannah to talk. Hannah thinks Danny doesn’t have boundaries, but Danny thinks it would have been rude to cut the guy off. Danny tries to act helpful, but Hannah sees it as cocky and isn’t having any.

Tip time! Captain Mark is pleased. He says everyone worked together and pulled off a great charter. 20K USD, 1500 Euros a piece. That is not bad for one day/night’s work. Now it’s time for the crew to go out, get drunk and argue.

Danny tells Bryan he thinks his actions have been under-appreciated and he wants to correct that. This only causes Bryan to let fly with all the stuff Danny is doing wrong and how he’s given him a million chances. Bryan tells him he crosses the line and he’s there to do the job Bryan tells him to do.

Next time,Tiffany and Bryan get it on, there’s miscommunication in the kitchen, and a mayday call from another vessel.

May31

May 30, 2016 – No GH, Charm from the South & Farther South

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

No General Hospital today (sniff!). They showed a rerun of the accident where Jason saved Dante and regained some memory. At least it was a good choice.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

While Stephanie is checking out a venue for Travis’s birthday, he’s taking care of the boys. Apparently, his birthday is a huge deal that Stephanie compares to the second coming. He asks if Stephanie needs his assistant, Courtney, but Stephanie wonders if he really wants Courtney to check out what she’s doing.

Cary and Mark discuss their daughter Zuri’s third birthday coming up. Since Mark loves to shop, Cary is hoping he didn’t get her too many things. I’d say it’s a pretty good bet that he did.

Stephanie thinks a Gatsby theme is the way to go for the party. She asks Courtney to deal with the invites. Brandi suggests she give him the gift of a grave. I guess that’s for the person who has everything.

Here comes Leeanne, so look out. She’s meeting Rich for lunch. She has a motivational speech coming up with The Grace Project, for women who have HIV/AIDS. There are going to be about 600 people and Rich says he could never talk in front of that many. She says the women live in shame about their disease (which is just sad in 2016) and since she had shame over being sexually abused as a child, she wants to alleviate that for them.

Stephanie says she’s getting along with Leeanne right now, but she’s worried that if she invites her to Travis’s party, there will be drama. Leeanne and Brandi still aren’t on great terms.

Tiffany meets with Leeanne before Leeanne’s speech. She’s pretty happy about the House of Blues event going so well, and thinks that Aaron might finally call Dallas home. Leeanne says two women in their community were murdered because they came out as HIV positive. What? Don’t elaborate on that or anything.

Leeanne talks about being molested by her best friend’s father and later, her fiance trying to kill her (not Mark). She says this gave her various underserving labels, but their label needs to be “I am worthy.” She wants all of them in the light, sharing their story. Tiffany is glad Stephanie is there to see this side of Leeanne. Too bad Leeanne isn’t like this 98% of the time.

Stephanie says it’s hard being the only girl in the house, and expects a nervous breakdown by the time she’s 40. The boys suggest getting daddy “poo-poo” for his birthday. Yep, typical boys. Stephanie calls Brandi and tells her about Cruz also suggesting a poop birthday cake. Since Stephanie is poop obsessed, I’m sure she appreciates that. Stephanie tells her about Leeanne’s speech and how she saw a different side of her. She wants to invite her to Travis’s party. Brandi says with tequila, it will all be good. Why anyone drinks that stuff is beyond me.

Travis wants to know about his birthday, but Stephanie wants it to be a surprise. Stephanie says Travis likes to micro-manage her and doesn’t know where business ends and their personal life begins. She says she feels like he treats her like a child and wants him to take a step back and let her do things on her own. He gets it, and tells her about how his mother gave them lists as a child and it’s spilled over into his adult life. She says she doesn’t need added pressure because she puts enough on herself already. He says they grew up differently, but opposites attract and they’re living proof.

Brandi calls Leeanne and asks if they can meet for lunch or coffee and clear the air. She says there’s been a lot of “miscommunication,” which is what people say when they’ve called each other names.

It’s Zuri’s birthday. She’s wearing a dress that Mark bought her in Italy that’s the same design as Cary’s wedding dress. I can’t imagine what it must have cost, and think he’s probably out of his mind, since she’ll only be able to wear it for about a month.

Brandi is anxious about meeting with Leeanne. After hearing about Brandi’s brother trying to commit suicide, Leeanne says it put life in perspective. Brandi says she admires Leeanne for sharing her story and apologizes for pushing her buttons. Leeanne says she knows she has a side that isn’t pretty, but that’s not who she is. Ugh!!! I hate when people say that. If it wasn’t you, who was it? She wants to be able to hang out with Brandi and have a good time. She thinks this might be their moment to move forward. They talk about Travis’s birthday party and hug it out.

It’s shopping time. Stephanie and Brandi look for Gatsby dresses. Brandi tells Stephanie about the meeting with Leeanne. Stephanie says Brandi had better not ditch her for Leeanne. Ha-ha! Not too likely. No surprise, the dresses are amazing. Lots of glitter and feathers.

Brandi asks one of her daughters if she likes boys. She says no because they have tails. That’s a new one on me, but okay, I can roll with that.

Cary is hoping they can have a mature evening at Travis’s birthday. Cary is wearing her dress from her wedding reception and Mark is stoked.

Stephanie says she hopes Travis appreciates all the planning, and if he doesn’t, he’s an a-hole. Ha-ha! Everyone shows up looking fabulous. Tiffany says she feels an arctic wind when Cary comes in. Cary says Stephanie is being all rainbows and unicorns about everyone getting along. Lots of drinking and laughing, which is quite a change. Brandi suggests they all take a girls’ trip to Austin.

The cake comes out, decorated with sparklers. Stephanie says Travis seems genuinely happy about how his birthday turned out. Some woman talking to Travis says she’s going to be 46 soon and I choke on my coffee. It reminds me of the time I did a panel on skin care. We went around the table saying our ages. I was actually 46 at the time, and the woman next to me said she was too. You could have heard a pin drop. Either she was dyslexic and had the numbers backward, or she’d lived a really, really tough life. Like outside in the desert.

After the party, Stephanie has a surprise for Travis. She jumps out of a giant cake, singing Happy Birthday. Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to get out of the cake than it was to get in.

Next time, an Austin road trip, Leeanne threatens Marie’s life, and Cary tells Leeanne she’s crazy.

Southern Charm

In LA, Whitney manages to annoy me just by cracking eggs into a bowl. Larissa is there already, but Shep and Craig are coming tomorrow. He tells Larissa about Craig getting Naomie a promise ring, since they’re in middle school.

Cooper and Kathryn go to the spa. She says she’s never had a facial before and I frown on Thomas not springing for a spa day for her ever. She talks about having the new baby, and says this time she and Thomas won’t be going home together. She says sometimes they get along really well, but she doesn’t want to be too hopeful. Cooper realistically tells her that Thomas is a 50-year-old playboy and highly unlikely to change. He tells her to be strengthened rather than frustrated, although I don’t know how his assessment is supposed to help with that.

Thomas and JD play some polo. Afterward, they talk about watching their kids play polo one day. Thomas tells him the baby is coming on Monday. JD thinks it’s peculiar that Kathryn moved up the due date. Hello? The doctor moved up the due date. He alludes that maybe the baby isn’t Thomas’s. He doesn’t know if he “believes in two accidents.” Well, if Thomas didn’t want a second “accident,” he should have used a preventative measure.

Craig meets Naomie for dinner. She asks if he’s going to LA. He says he wants to. He says he still believes Kathryn about Whitney, but he’s going to let it go for the sake of their friendship. JD’s bourbon launch is on Saturday, but Craig says he’ll be back by then. He says he’s already done everything JD asked him to, and he thinks all should go well. Naomie says if it doesn’t, no doubt it will be all his fault.

Landon and Cameran go to a candle-making class. Cameran asks her about the travel magazine she wants to start. She says Landon is used to being taken care of, and seems to be floundering. She asks Landon about man prospects, but there’s nothing on the horizon. Cameran wonders if she thinks something could work out with Shep, and maybe that’s why she isn’t finding anyone else. Landon says kinda sorta, and in her interview, says that she has with Shep what she didn’t have in her marriage. Cameran says she should figure out a way to make it happen. Um…no, don’t do this.

Shep and Craig get to Whitney’s house in LA. Whitney acts like a bit of an asshat, ignoring Craig for the most part. Eww! They’re drinking Coors, the weewee of beers. Whitney says Craig has taken on a persona that’s “less amusing” than he was. Craig apologizes and Whitney is so dense, he can’t even figure out why Craig would care about Kathryn. Whitney accepts the apology, but in his interview says that he’s leery of trusting him now. Larissa arises from her jet lag nap and they all go out to a party. Whitney says Shep’s Southern goofiness works in Charleston, but not so much in LA.

That’s okay, Shep drank too much tequila to score anyway.

JD goes over the list for the whiskey event at the Charleston Cup. His assistant says that she and Craig went over some things, but she can’t seem to hunt him down. JD says Craig has wanted to be more involved with the bourbon, and it’s a perfect opportunity, but now he can’t be found. Craig’s voicemail is full, so JD leaves a message on Shep’s phone. Shep passes along the info and wonders how he got involved. Craig says he’s going back the next day and he just does grunt work for JD anyway. Craig wants to go for a massage and Shep wonders what happened to just getting drunk and laughing your balls off.

Thomas and Kathryn meet for lunch. Thomas tells her she’s getting to be an expert at the baby thing. He says he senses fear and she says a little, since she’s going to be alone this time. Thomas says he can see she’s nervous and overwhelmed, and he wants to be there for her.

Back in LA, the masseuse arrives. She talks about connecting with herself and Shep rolls his eyes. They talk about energy transference, but I think Shep is really flirting. He asks Craig how the trip went for him and says he appreciates him not bugging Whitney since he went out on a limb for him. He flirts some more with the masseuse.

It’s time for the Charleston Cup, but no Craig. That’s because he’s still in bed. Landon calls Shep to see if he’s coming, but his grandfather passed away and he has to go to Alabama. He says his grandfather lived a wonderful life to the age of 94 and it will be more of a celebration of his life than a funeral.

JD complains to Cameran that he had to do everything himself because Craig is late. Actually, Craig isn’t sounding too good. He has a sinus infection and he’s coughing and hacking like crazy. Danni gives us the information that a few years ago, there were only five whiskey distilleries in the US and now there are 700. There’s only one for me. It’s called Wild Turkey. When they arrive, JD whines some more.

Everyone complains about how cold it is, which is a first since I’ve been watching this show. It’s usually a million degrees there. JD makes a speech and thanks everyone except Craig. I don’t blame Craig for getting lackadaisical with JD. He’s not exactly the most encouraging guy on the planet. He talks to Craig during the match or race or whatever the blip it is. Craig says he’d thought he had everything in place. In his interview, he says he feels like JD has taken advantage of him and working with him wasn’t going to be his forever, just a way to get back in Charleston.

Thomas asks Kathryn if she wants him to spend the night, but she says just picking her up in the morning will be fine. Thomas says he’s always wanted a big, traditional family and a house filled with laughter. He says he still loves and cares for Kathryn, but doesn’t think it will ever work. She asks how he’s feeling about tomorrow, and he says a little scared and apprehensive. She says she thinks they’re doing a good job of being friends right now. He says he’ll be there for her, and it’s probably the first time I’ve actually liked him.

It’s time to go to the hospital. Fastest delivery ever. And quite a tiny baby. Thomas talks about Stephen Spielberg saying his greatest creation was his children. He tells the baby not to make the same dumb mistakes he did.

Next time, Cameran is worried about not wanting children, the new baby comes home, Craig gets called out on not taking the bar exam, Landon confesses that she might love Shep and Shep does not look thrilled.

May28

May 27, 2016 – Good-by to the Nurses Ball & the Couches

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Curtis reminds Nicholas that he tried to kill Hayden once before and says maybe he wants to finish the job. Hayden adds, especially since Nicholas saw her with the police commissioner.

Robin asks if there’s anything Griff can’t do and Anna says she thought he couldn’t dance. That’s right, she gave him a tango lesson. That is totally different from break dancing though.

Sam goes to look for Lucas. Jason asks Carly where Michael is, and tells her about the ELQ assets being frozen. She says he’s out of town with Sonny. Jason wants to try and fix it before it becomes a bigger problem, and asks her not to say anything to Michael. Sonny, Michael and Morgan show up at the ball.

Bobbie sees Lucas on the floor next to her hospital bed.

Lucy says they have time to kill and asks if anyone would like to do an impromptu performance. No. So she asks to play an audience participation game called has anyone seen Lucas? Amy remembers that she was supposed to tell them he was at the hospital with Bobbie.

Finn puts a syringe away. Quick change artist Griff is already back at the hospital and while he’s talking to Finn, they hear Bobbie yell for help.

Lucy wants Epiphany to do something and she says magnificence takes time and her act can’t be rushed. Lucy grabs Kiki and Dillon. Kiki says it was supposed to be later, but Lucy says an empty stage means people who contribute money aren’t being entertained.

Hayden says Jordan shut her down. Nicholas asks her to come home and he’ll give her the diamonds. Curtis tells her not to go. He says she won’t get the diamonds unless she pries them from Nicholas’s cold, dead hand. Nicholas says he’s giving her a one time offer. She says if he’s leaving now, she’s not going.

Lucy introduces Kiki and Dillon. They do Shawn Mendes’s Stitches. Not bad. It looks like they make a connection while they’re singing.

Brad wonders why Lucas didn’t text him. He thinks Lucas got cold feet, but Felix doesn’t think so.

Griff tries to get Lucas’s heart started. Bobbie says he’s diabetic and wonders if that has anything to do with it. Lucas’s phone rings. It’s Brad. Bobbie picks it up and tells him to get to the hospital, but don’t alarm anyone about Lucas. Brad tells Felix that Lucas had a hospital emergency. He says Lucas is on break and he’s going to see him. Nice lying without technically lying. Brad has had a lot of practice at that.

Lucy is wearing the most fabulous outfit ever – a white lace, backless dress with bell sleeves and mermaid hem (lots of those this year) and the earrings are wow. She’s changed about four times already.

Sonny tells Dante about Sabrrrina.

Nina tells Kiki and Dillon they make her believe she can fall in love again. Dillon wonders why everyone thinks they’re a couple. He says Morgan is a fool for letting Kiki go. They kiss. Saw that coming miles away. Morgan walks in. No surprise there either, but dude, you told her to move on.

Michael asks Morgan if everything is okay. Morgan says it’s just hard to adjust. Carly thanks Andre for everything he’s done for Morgan and Andre says Morgan is almost ready to be discharged.

Robin talks to Sonny. Jason joins them. Robin says the Nurses Ball has always been about remembrances, but also being thankful for what they have.

Lucy takes the stage and explains why the ball is named after the nurses, and talks about how they’re the backbone of everything and have to take doctors’ orders. Dante’s phone rings. It’s Lulu on stage. Milo gets a call from Epiphany on stage. The girls sing Doctor’s Orders, with Epiphany leading. Lulu does a bit of a solo dance. They do those Supremes hand moves that I love.

Nicholas photographs the diamonds and texts Hayden saying they can come to an agreement. A storm comes up outside. Thunder and lightening starts happening.

Brad gets to the hospital where Griff is working on Lucas. They use the defibrillator.

Morgan says he feels a little overwhelmed, so he’s going to take off. Sonny says he’ll take him back and Carly says she’d like to come too.

Finally, Lucas has a heartbeat. Bobbie says she has no idea what happened. All of a sudden his heart just stopped beating. Damn. Even I was nervous for a minute.

Nicholas waits for Hayden at Windemere. Curtis asks Hayden where she’s headed. She says if Nicholas hasn’t killed her by now, he’s not going to. Curtis says she hadn’t crossed the line before, but Nicholas knows she talked to Jordan. She says it worked, and Curtis says he’s tired of saving her from herself.

Sam tells Jason she doesn’t want Franco to ruin his night. He says it’s not that, it’s the lawsuit. Michael joins them and Sam excuses herself. Michael says he wants to make Jason proud with his work at ELQ. D’oh!

Carly and Sonny discuss Morgan. Sonny tells her how great she looks and Carly claims she looks younger because of the Aveeno stuff in her gift bag. Nice plug.

Lucy introduces Robin. She’s like the person who explains the Academy Award system every year during the Oscars. She talks about a new medication that can prevent HIV, but there has been a rise in infection among young, gay men of “low means,” meaning poor or homeless. She talks about Stone, who died 21 years ago. She says she expects to live to see the day we conquer HIV/AIDS and the whole thing makes me cry.

Amy wants to do a song with Felix, but Epiphany says Sabrrrina owned the song. She’s like, okay, I’ll go solo and grabs the mic from Lucy to sing. Sabrrrina comes out and sings You’re Not Alone with her. As they sing, Sabrrrina goes down to the audience and hugs her friends. Epiphany joins them on stage. Where’s Obrecht? I need some comic relief here. I also think they could fill the room better. It doesn’t look like a whole lot of people are at the ball. It’s a junior high dance level crowd.

As they sing, we see Lucas, wearing a breathing tube, surrounded by Bobbie, Griff and Brad. Brad tells him to wake up. Finn enters the room. Griff says Lucas is hanging on and it seems like there’s an injection site on his neck. He asks Finn if he injected him with anything.

Jason walks into Windemere looking for Nicholas. He wants to talk.

Lucy plugs Aveeno and thanks everyone. Felix comes out to give her roses. She says it’s a new beginning – no one saw her panties. What?! Do we still have a minute?

Carly and Sonny get romantic.

Anna tells Robin it’s the first time she actually saw her speech. Michael tells Sabrrrina she brought the house down, after which Jordan arrests her.

Finn is like, how dare you? but Griff says he had to ask. Brad brings up the unexplained deaths at GH. Bobbie wonders if there’s a connection and Griff says it’s worth investigating.

Curtis makes Hayden promise she won’t go to Windemere before talking to the police. Sam enters Windemere. She hears a crash. Nicholas lies on the rocks below the window.

Tomorrow, Tracy hears about Sabrrrina, Carly tells Sonny about the video, and Nicholas lies unconscious or dead.

General Hospital – Friday

Tracy tells Baby Edward that she didn’t miss not going to the Nurses Ball. She shows him the pictures of Edward and Lila, and I tell her not to get me crying in the first second of the show. Dillon walks in and tells her she looks happy.

Michael tells Jordan it would be a mistake to arrest Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina tells him not to fight for her; she deserves to be arrested. He says she was a victim of Carrrlos too. Jordan says sorry, she helped Carrrlos out. Michael begs Jordan to let Sabrrrina see her son first.

Anna introduces Robin to Andre. Paul pulls Anna aside. He gives her something in an envelope. The charges against her are officially dropped. Andre and Robin chat. He excuses himself to find Jordan. Anna thanks Paul, but tells him there will never be anything between them. Ava grabs Paul. Robin asks Anna if she heard right, that Anna tried to kill Carrrlos.

Carly tells Sonny about getting Ava to back off. She tells him about the subverted furniture delivery and goes on to explain about the flash drive. Except she lies like a rug, saying she tore the place apart. She did not. She found it on the first shot.

Hayden tells Curtis he was correct in telling her to stay away from Windemere. She’s going to stay at the hotel.

Sam walks into Windemere, and sees Jason by a broken window. She asks where Nicholas is, and he tells her “down there,” where Nicholas lies unconscious (or dead?) on the rocks. Jason says he doesn’t know what happened and to call 911.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s on her side and she deserves some happiness. He says he hopes she isn’t going to be disappointed when she has to give up the baby. Tracy says she has an army of lawyers and no one is taking this poor orphaned child away from her. Dillon tells her that Michael found Sabrrrina.

Curtis says as soon as he turns his back, Hayden is going to be looking for the diamonds. She swears she’s not going back tonight. Curtis says that’s not true and he’ll go with her. Hayden says he’ll ruin any chances of her striking a deal with Nicholas. He says tonight, he’s her shadow.

Jason gets into the water to get to Nicholas. Sam picks up a cuff-link among the rocks, no doubt belonging to Nicholas.

Anna tells Robin the Carrrlos story. She says all her training and principles went out the window, and she shot him, but it was a set-up. Robin asks why she didn’t say something sooner. Anna says it was her mess and she wanted to clean it up herself. Robin tells her there’s such a thing as being too independent and she’s punished herself enough. It’s time to start healing.

Carly and Sonny gloat. Carly talks about losing her iPhone, but this gets me thinking that if Ava kept it, she might be able to delete that video from the cloud.

Ava tells Paul she’s not giving in to Carly’s demands because of him. He says what good is getting Avery back if she goes to prison. He says if the video gets out, he’ll make sure her confession goes public. Apparently, Ava wasn’t smart enough to get that phone, but even so, if Paul outs her for Connie’s murder, isn’t he going to implicate himself in some way? I tell myself not to think too hard here.

Anna tells Robin that Julian got off and there’s never any punishment for him. She says one way or another, she’ll get him to trial, even if it’s for murdering Carrrlos. Robin says nothing will bring Duke back, but Anna says maybe the closure will give her peace. Robin says peace doesn’t come from revenge, but living the best life you can. I refrain from making any jokes about her living in Berkeley.

Andre asks Jordan for a minute, but she asks if it can wait. He says he wants to spend the end of the night with her and she says ditto. Jordan asks Sabrrrina about the baby. Sabrrrina says she was just hoping for one night with the baby and she was going to turn herself in.

Dillon gives Tracy a note that Sabrrrina left earlier that night. It says she’s coming back later.

Jason can’t get to Nicholas. Sam says the police are coming. Hayden and Curtis arrive and see the mess. Hayden looks out the broken window, but doesn’t see anything. Sam and Jason come back to the house. Sam explains what they found and that they think the current took Nicholas away. Sam gives Hayden the cuff-link.

Sam and Jason go to wait for the police. Hayden sniffles over the cuff-link and Curtis asks if the tears are real. She says she did love him, but she needs to look for those diamonds before the cops get there. Ha-ha!

Carly tells Sonny the Avery battle is over and she’s thrilled. She says Avery is always going to be safe and happy. In Port Charles? She’s got to be kidding.

Ava tells Paul there will be an investigation and no doubt he has more secrets that will cause a worse scandal that them in bed together. She says his best bet is to ride it out.

Tracy tells Dillon that Sabrrrina won’t be coming back tonight. She says that it’s a safe bet she’s already in custody since Jordan attended the Nurses Ball.

Jordan says Sabrrrina is a flight risk and she can’t allow it. Michael says he’ll take full responsibility, but Jordan doesn’t want to take the chance. Michael says he knows Jordan was away from TJ for a long time, and he plays the mom card.

Robin says it would have been easy for her to lose hope when she was being held captive, but because of Anna, she didn’t. She tells Anna she’ll get past the anger, hurt and need to be vengeful. She needs to say good-by to all of that and to Duke. Anna tells Robin about the vision she had when she was stuck in the meat locker. She says he vanished before she could say good-by, and Robin says that’s probably because she wasn’t ready to.

Robin leaves, and tango music begins. Duke asks for the pleasure of this dance, but Anna says she has to say good-by. He says he’s glad to hear that and he loves her. He asks for one last dance and she says she’d love to.

Ava says she’ll take Paul down with her. He says he has an impeccable record of beating the odds. He tells her that he has the leverage he needs to keep her in line. He says if she lets the video go public, she’ll wish she had stayed dead.

Sam wonders if the police will think Jason had something to do with it, especially since they had that fistfight not that long ago. He wants to call Diane, but Sam says if he does that right now, he’ll look guilty. Can’t please her. Hayden walks in and Sam stupidly asks her if she and Nicholas had a fight. Hayden tells her not to be ridiculous and accuses Jason of pushing Nicholas out the window.

Sabrrrina and Michael arrive at the Quartermaines. Tracy tells her not to touch the baby.

Jordan tells Andre she’s officially done with work. Not quite. Her phone rings. It’s Curtis. She answers and says she’s on her way.

Anna starts to say what she wishes, but Duke stops her and says to save her wishes for someone else. He tells her to move on with her new life and bids her good-by. She tangos away from him and he’s gone. Anna stands alone on an empty stage. Robin asks if she’s ready to go and she says yes. Nice scene.

Paul texts Ava. She better hang on to that text, since it’s basically blackmail.

Carly tells Sonny she’s going to take a bath and will meet him in bed. The doorbell rings. It’s Ava. she says she’s there for Avery.

On Monday. Sonny tells Ava to get out, Hayden tells the police that Nicholas was pushed, and Tracy tells Sabrrrina that she’s the baby’s legal guardian.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

I feel vindicated, since the Couches had the same reaction I did about the Whitney/Kathryn thing on Southern Charm. It’s obvious by the look on Whitney’s face alone that Craig hit a nerve and hit on the truth.

This is better than a Real Housewives reunion. Scott, referring to the argument between Craig and Whitney on Southern Charm.

God help her if she ever goes to your house. Brandy to Julie, referring to Patricia’s reaction to Whitney’s loft on Southern Charm.

You know she slept with that guy on The Bachelor. She didn’t get to the final holding his hand. Teddi, referring to The Bachelorette.

There’s always somebody who looks like Weird Al Yankovic. Blake, referring to the singing competition, Eurovision.

Everything he sees is the worst thing he’s ever seen. Emerson, referring to Gordon Ramsey on Motel Hell. Truth!

This was the season finale <sob!>. Hope they keep the same Couches next time around.

May26

May 25, 2016 – Nurses Ball Two & Three Times the NYC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

So cute! Emma and Ned..er…Eddie Maine start off with Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart. Did they practice over the phone? Lucy gives a speech about the Quartermaines and Scorpios, and how they give their time, talent, and treasure for good. She claims there will be no stage crashing tonight and that problem is solved.

Epiphany finds Obrecht tied up and gagged in a bathroom stall. “Untie me at once…please?” Obrecht says. Hahahaha! Epiphany asks what she’s wearing and Obrecht says it’s a costume. Epiphany tells her she’s not performing this year, but I think that’s up for debate now.

Carly says Ava’s ass is hers.

Laura runs into Doc.She doesn’t have a ticket, but Doc has two. Amazing! She wonders if they missed much and he says whatever’s happened already will most likely not be as crazy as what’s ahead. Undoubtedly.

Lucy plugs Aveeno, who is their sponsor this year, an tells everyone to mingle in between acts, which is totally weird.

Hayden wants to talk to Jordan who tells her to make an appointment. Nicholas whisks her away.

Lucas finds Bobbie passed out backstage. She comes to and he wants to take her to the hospital, but she refuses. He refuses to take her refusal and says, let’s go.

Carly catches Ava in the bathroom. She says Ava is going to give up sole custody of Avery. Ava tells her she’s drunk or delusional. She says she’s going back to the party, and Carly says the party is in her phone. It’s not the confession she wanted, but a video of Paul and Ava in a bondage scene. Although, I’m not sure how this could really be held against Ava, since they’re both single, consenting adults, and it’s not like Avery was in the room. Ava says Carly broke into her home. Carly says she’ll post the video online if Ava doesn’t give her what she wants. Ava tells her to loosen up and leaves. Well, that backfired.

Franco asks Jake how he feels about making his debut. Jake says he has butterflies and Franco tells him to imagine the audience is quacking ducks. Jason isn’t happy about Franco being around Jake. Sam says the more he remembers the more he’ll hate Franco, and Jason says he already does.

Lucy continues to try and talk Griff into being in the show. She asks Epiphany if she’s seen Lucas, but she hasn’t. Lucas grabs Amy and tells her to tell Brad not to worry; he has to take Bobbie to the hospital. Lucy asks Jake to go on early.

Finn sees Obrecht back at the hospital and says he thought she was attending the ball. She says she did too, and I’m surprised she gave up that easy.

Jake goes on and freezes. Elizabeth tells him he can do this. Franco gets on stage and tells him, “Quack,” and they quack back and forth. Franco plays percussion while Jake sings. Franco helps him with the chorus too, and Nina gets verklempt.

Lucas wheels Bobbie into the hospital. Finn tells her she has vertigo. (Me too.) Lucas wants to postpone the wedding, but Bobbie tells him to go.

Carly sends the video to Paul and tells him to make Ava get in line. He grabs Ava and tells her to make it go away. She says a little sex scandal never hurt anyone. He says he could lose his job and he still has the confession. He tells her to do what Carly wants.

It’s Magic Milo and His Magic Wands! Curtis, Griff, Dillon and Felix also participate. For Griff suddenly getting pulled in at the last minute, he knows all the steps. Was he a dancer before he was a priest? I think so, since he can break dance like a pro. I applaud when their butts spell out Nurses Ball.

Ava slaps the phone out of Carly’s hand, but she still has the flash drive. Ava takes her shoes off . She and Carly wrestle. They must have laughed like crazy practicing this scene.

Obrecht asks why Finn was drummed out of his last job. He says he quit. She asks what he’s hiding and he says wouldn’t she like to know.

Nicholas drags Hayden away from Jordan again. Curtis sees it and thinks maybe he should say something. Valerie tells him to go; he can make it up to her later. Curtis finds them out in the hall and tells Nicholas to let Hayden go.

Someone is injecting Bobbie with something in the dark, but Lucas comes back into the room and asks what’s going on.

Jason wants to stop Elizabeth from hanging around Franco. Diane comes in and tells him he’s being sued. She says the money he used to get the ELQ stock came from organized crime. The IRS has frozen ELQ’s assets.

Ava gets the flash drive and flushes it down the toilet. Carly tells her it’s in the cloud and she’s about to lose custody of Avery.

Uh-oh, it’s time for the wedding and Lucas isn’t back yet. And stupid Amy never gave Brad the message. This is going to look like Lucas stood Brad up.

Lucas is unconscious beside Bobbie’s bed.

…to be continued.

Little Women NY

It’s time to clean up the camp, but Jazmin has to get something off her chest. She whips out a video of Katie and Jess having a cigarette. Lila makes mention of Katie taking a long drag. Yeah, that’s because she probably doesn’t have one too often. She also says something about Katie’s belly being tiny and relating that to cigarettes and low birth weight. For the love of all that’s holy, I can’t believe this girl took a video and involved the entire group when she has no idea about anything. If you’re so concerned, how about just taking Katie to the side and asking her about it? I swear, I’d smoke just to spite them. this bunch is nosier than the Housewives.

PJ comes to the city. Jess isn’t thrilled to find him in the apartment when she just wants to unwind after the camping trip. Katie realizes Jess isn’t happy, but says she needs all the help she can get since it’s getting close to baby time. They’re also getting evicted because the landlord found out about Jess’s dog. Nice welcome home.

Dawn is still pissed about the fight she and Lila got into. They meet for tea and Lila apologizes, saying she needs to be mindful that Dawn is a person with feelings. Maybe if Dawn acted like a human more often, she wouldn’t forget. Dawn says she ended up talking with Jazmin at the campsite and thinks they’ve resolved things. She also wants to talk to David, since apparently they have unresolved issues.

The gang is inviting Katie and Jess to Dawn’s place for a barbecue that’s really an intervention. Since Lila has been the object of one herself, she tells everyone several scenarios can happen. They role play. Lila says, as Katie already feels judged, she might not believe it’s coming from a good place. While I realize they are coming from a good place, I’m not down with this for that exact reason. They have picked on this girl mercilessly since day one. They’re probably the reason she’s smoking.

Lila says if it doesn’t seem genuine, and just seems critical, it’s not going to go well. When Jazmin asks what’s the worst hat can happen, Lila says Katie could fire up a cigarette and say f-u, and I laugh. At least she knows what she might be in for. Katie and Jess arrive and Jess tells the gang about how she came home to PJ. I’d be a lot angrier about the dog than him.

Jazmin jumps right in and asks if she’s smoking. Katie says once in a while when she’s stressed, she takes a drag. Katie says her doctor told her not to cut it cold turkey, she weaned herself down, and she’s not a serious smoker anymore. Jazmin says she’s around Jess smoking too. Katie says her mother has lectured her, but it helps with her stress. Lila says she’s an addict and she’s bigger than cigarettes and to not let them control her. It all seems much more dramatic than it should be. Lila tells Katie about her father dying from lung disease. Katie says after the baby is born, she’s going to quit. Dawn chimes in that the baby is inhaling cigarettes now. Jazmin tells Jess she shouldn’t be an enabler. Jess says they shouldn’t attack Katie like that, and they’re not acting in a way that she would feel she could trust them. In her interview, Jess says Jazmin should have just taken them aside. At least she didn’t pull out the video.

Katie says she’s feeling crampy and uncomfortable and decides to leave. Lila asks for her cigarettes, but she doesn’t have any. So how much of a smoker can she be? She actually shows Lila her purse. Lila asks Jess for hers – seriously? – but that’s a no. These idiots just crashed and burned with their own good intentions.

When they get back to the apartment, Katie and Jess tell PJ about the intervention. Katie says the baby has been healthy throughout the pregnancy and she felt judged. Katie says not once did they ask what kind of stress she’s under or how they can help. Good point. In her interview, Jess says she bit her tongue this afternoon, but when she sees them all again, she can’t promise anything.

Jason’s father is a vet and Jess is bringing her dog for a free check-up. Because, free check-up. He asks how Katie is doing and Jess says she wasn’t happy with how things were done and she isn’t happy either. Jason says they were coming from a place of concern, but Jess says it didn’t look that way. Jason intimates that Jess has never said anything to Katie about smoking and Jess says he has no idea what she’s said to Katie and she’s not going to ride her ass.

Pup ChiChi has a cough, so of course Jason has to make a joke about smoking. Jess is like, don’t get too familiar. Jason’s father says ChiChi checks out, so just give it time. Jason says he’s trying to get out of the city a bit and asks if Jess and Katie would like to come pumpkin picking with the group. She’s not committing until she talks to Katie.

David arrives. He’s been working out of town. Jazmin tells him that she and Dawn mended fences, which makes him happy, although he wonders how long it will last. She tells him about the pumpkin picking event. She says she won’t bring up the smoking thing again, but feels like she should have been more aggressive. Geez, I guess it wasn’t enough that they basically drove Katie away.

Jess and Katie find a new apartment. Jess says good thing it’s bigger, since they have to fit three adults, a baby and a dog. She says the gang is feeling good about themselves and they left feeling like crap. She thinks Jason and Jazmin were coming from a good place, but not so much the others. She tells PJ and Katie about the pumpkin thing. She says they should go, so it doesn’t look like “they won.” PJ says just go and have a good time, and if they have something to say, they’ll hear what he has to say. Katie says that’s what she’s afraid of. Ha-ha!

It’s pumpkin festival time! Katie introduces PJ to the group. Jazmin is hoping he puts a ring on it, since he followed Katie all the way to NYC. The last time Dawn saw David, they had a huge fight, so she asks if they’re good. David says she puts him in an awkward position when she fights with Jazmin, but she feels she and Jazmin are in a good place now. She still has some issues with David, and invites him to have family time.

Katie picks up a small pumpkin, and several of the others immediately get on her case. They also think PJ should have stopped her. They do some kind of weird panning for gold thing and Lila asks if PJ might find an engagement ring. The others wonder why Katie looks stressed. Really? Lila wonders if PJ is causing her stress. No, it’s you. She and Dawn want answers. Who the blip do they think they are> Scotland Yard? OMG – Lila asks PJ what makes a eight month pregnant woman leave her baby’s father? How freaking nosy can you get?

Lila says PJ is all talk and no substance. I fail to see how she could deduce that after meeting him for five minutes. Jess asks the group if they feel that they handled the intervention correctly. She grills Jazmin as to whether she asked Katie personally about it first. Of course not. Jess thinks it wasn’t necessary to go to such an extreme. She and Jazmin argue. The whole thing makes Katie want a cigarette. Dawn says she’s sorry they put her on the spot, but they wanted to make sure Katie knew the score. Then they get on PJ’s case for letting Katie pick up the pumpkin. Jess asks why they think their opinion matters. Dawn says they’re arguing whether or not a pregnant woman should smoke, so I guess she’s in a different argument. PJ thinks if atie has half a cigarette, she’s doing well, and that pisses Dawn off more.

Katie goes to sit down and Jess talks to her. The group tries to get in on that, and Jess tells them to go away. Katie is cramping because she’s stressed out. Jason wanted to have a nice day out, but obviously, that’s not happening.

Two minutes from now, strip club time, Dawn and David argue, and Katie has a baby shower.

Little Women NY

I have no clue why they’re having back-to-back episodes tonight and destroying my TV viewing time frame.

PJ and Katie are doing a pregnancy photo shoot. During a break, Jess talks to Katie about a baby shower guest list. Katie is okay with everyone except Lila. Jess agrees that she’s a mean girl, but is also a little person with insecurity issues. Jess is adamant about not wanting her there.

Dawn visits Katie who wonders why she’s there. ChiChi makes a weewee, and Dawn acts like it’s unheard of. Dawn apologizes for the pumpkin patch debacle. Katie says she’s stressed about not being prepared for the baby and Dawn thinks that should be the father’s department. He just got there, for goodness’ sake. Katie invites her to the shower, although I don’t know why. I’d leave that one off the list too.

Jess meets Jazmin and Jason for lunch to plan the shower. Jess says she has no hard feelings, but isn’t feeling it with Dawn and Lila. Black and pink are the colors and butterflies are wanted. She tells them Lila is a no as a guest. Jazmin thinks that’s a bad idea. Too bad. Jess says it’s Katie’s day and that’s what she wants.

Dawn and Lila go shopping. Dawn talks to Lila about Katie. She says Katie’s house is filthy. What? They just moved in and it actually looked pretty together to me. Dawn talks about the shower and says she got an invite. Lila says she wants to be there for Katie, and says she wants to come along. Even though she’s not invited. Again, what is with these people? News flash, don’t ever show up to a party you’re not invited to. It’s that simple. And how dare she stress this poor pregnant woman even more?

Commercial break. Ha-ha! It’s for Nicorette. And then Haagan-Daas. Which you’ll want in place of that cigarette.

Katie has gone to her check-up. She’s been given the option to have the baby in five days or two weeks. She wants to hold out as long as possible and PJ says to let the doctor do his job. She wants to be able to bring the baby straight home, but they weren’t able to get an ultrasound and she doesn’t know the baby’s weight.

David goes to Dawn’s place. They have snacks and make small talk. She says she misses him. He says ditto, but it’s not like they spend so much time together that they’re close. Dawn says part of her holds resentment that their mother was battling cancer for two years and she was by herself dealing with it. She whines that she’s always alone and David asks if she’s ever considered why that is.

He asks where she was when he got thrown out and was living on the street. She says that was their mother’s decision and he says he’d lost a job and was homeless for five years. She acts like an asshat and he says he’s done, have a nice life, and leaves.

Dawn calls Lila to come over. She tells Lila what happened. I guess it was okay for her to criticize him, but he wasn’t allowed to do the same. Lila tries to explain that David was abandoned. She wants Dawn to understand where he’s coming from. Dawn sobs that this is what she gets for showing vulnerability. Lila says she often has trouble seeing someone else’s viewpoint. Ya think? Dawn says he should be understanding of her. She says she feels isolated and Lila says she has to move forward, and that family is everything. Dawn says if family is everything, why did David walk out? Lila has no answer.

Jazmin asks David what happened. David tells her about Dawn saying he wasn’t there when their mother was going through treatment. Jazmin says Dawn plays the pity card a lot, but won’t own up to her own stuff. He says he’s finally at peace with both his parents passing, but Dawn still has issues. IMO, she’s a walking issue. The poster child for issues.

Jess and Jazmin take Jason to a gay bar. Jazmin says he barely goes out since he started dating DJ. Jason asks why he’s there and Jazmin says to have fun. In his interview, he says he’s not married, but not single either, and isn’t sure how to deal with that. It’s not exactly a strip club, but there are guys in underwear running about and dancing with the patrons. They do more shots than my entire neighborhood bar on karaoke night. Someone sends a lemon drop over to Jason. He says he’s never had a stranger buy him a drink before. The guy slips Jason his number.

Jason wakes up with a puppy in his face and a hangover, hoping he didn’t embarrass himself. Jazmin shows him the number he garnered. He wonders if he should tell DJ, since their relationship is already strained with DJ living in another state. Jazmin thinks she should tell him. I’m on the fence. It’s not like he called the number and he didn’t ask for the number either. On the other hand, these girls have big mouths.

Katie’s mom, Kathie, comes to help. Katie starts to cry and says she just wants the baby to be healthy and doesn’t want her to come out too early. Without knowing the baby’s weight, they don’t know when is the best time to deliver. Kathie says Katie’s father would be proud and he’s looking down at her from heaven. She thinks everything will be fine. Yeah, I think Katie is just hormonal. And stressed from the twits she’s been hanging around with.

DJ comes to see Jason. Jason says they’ve always been honest with each other, but he feels guilty about something. He tells DJ about going dancing with the girls at the bar. He says he got a number, and to him it was innocent, but he doesn’t want DJ to find out some other way and be hurt. DJ asks why he went with the girls and not him. Jason says DJ doesn’t really like dancing and he doesn’t want to pressure him. DJ thanks him for being honest, but says he still wishes Jason had asked him to come.

It’s baby shower time! Katie’s doctor is finally back and wants her to come in for an ultrasound, so she’s going to be late to her own party. Jason and Jazmin get there early to help with the decorations. It’s like an explosion of pink. Even ChiChi is wearing a pink butterfly outfit. Jess tells them that it’s possible Katie might have to deliver today, but the shower is on unless she hears otherwise. Jazmin wants to know if PJ is stepping up to the plate, but Jess hasn’t seen him doing much to help. Jazmin asks if he wants the baby, and Jess says she thinks it’s just sinking in.

Guests start to arrive and Jess hopes she gets news soon, since she doesn’t know how long she can entertain everyone. Dawn and Lila arrive, with Lila announcing she’s there for the party and everyone loves a baby shower. I dunno about that. A shower is one of those things that’s great…if it’s yours.

You can hear a pin drop. Jess says who shows up for a party they’re not invited to. Jess asks Lila if she spoke to Katie unbeknownst to her. Lila says Dawn told her about it and she wanted to give the baby a gift. Dawn concurs that she invited her. Jess says it’s not Dawn’s party, it’s Katie’s, and Katie didn’t want Lila there. There’s a bit of an argument and Dawn acts high and mighty in her interview. Like it’s all about the baby. Even the baby wouldn’t want them there. Jason brings up when Lila kicked Terra out of their party, which is exactly what I was thinking about. In her interview, Jazmin says they shouldn’t be arguing in front of everyone, which I agree with. Jess finally takes Lila in another room. Lila says if Katie starts cramping, she’ll leave, and Jess says oh yeah, let it get to that point. I’m pretty stunned. Lila won’t even let Jess talk. Lila tells her to keep the Jameson to a minimum when the baby comes. Jess says not everyone is a drunk like Lila. Lila finally leaves with Jess shouting she doesn’t know how many times she has to tell Lila that Katie doesn’t want her there.

Next time, Jason brings up Terra again to Lila, Lila argues with Jason, Katie argues with Dawn, and Lila and might go into labor.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Jules are shopping. Dorinda has Bethenny in a gift exchange. Ramona is going to be there (Jules has her), and she and Dorinda didn’t exactly leave things on a good note. Jules hates confrontation and stayed out of the way. Dorinda says Ramona needs to grow up and be respectful. She says she’ll be cordial, but she’s done with the apologies. Her mother said have people who warm you, but don’t burn you. Actually I paraphrased, but I think mine is better.

Bethenny is having a holiday cavier party. I cry because I’d love to go to something like that. Carole and Jules are there, along with some other friends of Bethenny’s. Ramona comes waltzing in and wants a margarita, after which she has an unbelievable story.

The Countess is out with Sonja. Sonja says they rarely see each other because The Countess is always out. The talk about that weird guy from the party. OMG, TMI. The Countess says she went out with him a couple of times, but realized something was “off” with him and she’s too old to deal with hot messes. She says he was pissed and that’s why he was aggressive at the party.

Ramona tells the girls about the same weird guy. She acts like nothing was wrong and John just came over to kick him out. She also pretends that John just put his hand in her face for no reason out of the blue. Not that I think he should have done that, but she had a hand in it too, no pun intended. Well, maybe a little. She says Dorinda was freaking out, but suddenly, Jules says she has a different story. Jules says she’s leaving out the part about the guy causing The Countess to be uncomfortable and how weird and drunk he was.

The Countess tells Sonja that Dorinda told her she’s done with Ramona. She says there isn’t one cute guy at the bar, and Sonja says they’ll look better after another drink. Geez.

Dorinda comes to the party. Bethenny meets her at the door and tells her that Ramona is sorry. Dorinda says she’s feeling overwhelmed and trying to pretend everything is good. Bethenny tells her that she should spend some quiet time alone for herself.

Ramona shovels in the caviar. Dorinda enters the party, ignoring Ramona. Ramona tries to engage her. In her interview, Ramona says she’s going to pretend everything is fine. Everyone eats caviar on tiny pancakes. Dorinda invites the girls to the Berkshires where she wants to have a holiday party. She’s not inviting Sonja because she thinks her drinking will lead to drama.

Carole talks to Dorinda on the side. Carole thinks it’s sad that Dorinda and Ramona’s friendship has been disrupted by a guy. Dorinda talks to Ramona, who says she’s not going anywhere, but Dorinda says it’s a one-sided deal now. They open their gifts, a lot of which are funny.

Sonja wonders who The Countess’s mystery man is. The Countess says Dorinda introduced them and he’s special, so she’s keeping him under wraps. She says in her interview that his name is Tom and I guess this is the guy she’s engaged to now. The Countess sees that there’s an article about the weird guy and Ramona at the party in The Post. It says Ramona was thrown out of the party. The Countess thinks Ramona had some nerve talking about her being a bad influence. More TMI with these two. It’s a constant.

Dorinda meets with Sonja, who has a fanny pack that look like a pair of lips. I wish I would have had that in my Rocky Horror days. They hang out on a park bench. I assume Central Park. Sonja says she wanted to talk to Dorinda about Ramona, who she thinks is going psycho. She’s been telling Sonja that no one wants to invite her out because of her drinking when Ramona can kick it back.

First, Dorinda tells Sonja she’s coming from a good place, so you know it’s going to be bad news. She talks about doing the Berkshires thing and she says she doesn’t want to do it now. She says she doesn’t think Sonja needs to be around the ladies right now, so she’s having them up for dinner, but having Sonja separately. She says she’d rather do one-on-one with her. In her interview, Sonja seems to think it has something to do with Bethenny.

The Countess and Tom have dinner with Dorinda, John, Jules and Michael. She thought they would be supportive, while she wasn’t so sure about the others. They talk about Ramona and Tom looks scared. Oh, wait, he actually knows Ramona. The Countess says Ramona went out with him, but nothing romantic went on, which I guess means they didn’t sleep together. He says he’s known Dorinda for years, and when he was on the phone with her, she suddenly handed the phone to The Countess. John makes an inappropriate comment. Everyone ignores it since they’re used to this. He says they’ve been inseparable since their first date. The Countess says she’s protecting their relationship because the girls can be catty. They have a toast.

They show NYC at Christmastime, which is my favorite time of year there. It’s out to the Berkshires though. Ramona gets there first, along with her dog. Dorinda tells Ramona it’s her sanctuary, where she likes to go for the silence she doesn’t get in the city. They talk about Sonja and how The Countess is never at home. Dorinda alludes to who The Countess’s man is, and in her interview, Ramona says she dated him.

Ramona thinks it’s rude that The Countess hasn’t told her about Tom, since for all she knows, Ramona could still be involved. Hardly. It would probably be in The Post. Yikes. Ramona’s dog made poopy all over Dorinda’s carpet. Dorinda tells her own dog to crap all over Ramona’s place in the Hamptons. Ha-ha!

Everyone else arrives. The Countess thinks there will be drama. In her interview, she says she and Carole are “uncool.” Jules says she plays piano and The Countess threatens to sing. Jules’s father is in the hospital with pneumonia. Since the nanny quit last week, things haven’t been peachy. The Countess tells Dorinda that Sonja feels excluded. Dorinda doesn’t think it would be a good combo with Bethenny being there and Sonja drinking. Ramona thinks Sonja should work on herself.

Bethenny arrives. The Countess says Bethenny is copying her hairstyle. Maybe. The Countess says she’s staying with Sonja when she’s not staying with her new guy. Bethenny asks if it’s Ramona’s ex and The Countess is cagey. The Countess says she thinks Sonja needs her right now she’s trying to mentor Sonja, which Bethenny says it’s like the blind leading the deaf [sic] and she finds it hysterically funny. The Countess says Sonja and Bethenny have issues about the Tipsy Girl thing and it was in The Post. Bethenny says she doesn’t care so much about the name, but pick one and go with it – either you’re smart or you’re stupid. She says Sonja used her for free publicity. The Countess says the newspaper claimed Bethenny was suing Sonja, but Bethenny says that’s not true.

Bethenny says a lot of people have copied her and she was the first one to come up with the name. The Countess says that she actually thought it up. Bethenny says she must be right, since that’s what she goes around telling everyone.

Next time, Bethenny and The Countess argue, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Dorinda tells everyone to go home.