Category Archives: general hospital

Nov13

November 12, 2015 — GH, the OC & Brooks

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason (I almost called him “Jake”) on the laptop. He tells her about visiting Sonny and says he was looking up bad stuff about himself online.

Sam is once again mooning over her old wedding ring. Patrick comes in and she drops it like it’s hot. She tells Patrick about giving Jason the motorcycle. Patrick says they need to tell Emma asap. Sam says that oddly enough, Emma had asked what would happen if Danny’s father came back, and she had said that was impossible. (Impossible earworm now.) Patrick notices she’s still wearing her engagement ring, so he’s hopeful that everything will work out. Good thing he didn’t catch her a few moments earlier.

Paul is all dapper and bouncy, telling Anna he’s glad she took the special investigator job. She says he didn’t give her much choice.

Jordon tells Dante she heard what happened at The Haunted Star.

Lulu and Dillon are getting jiggy with it.

Alexis shows up at Sam’s and asks how she’s holding up. Alexis says she can’t even imagine the emotional roller coaster Sam must be on, and Sam thanks her. I’m not sure why. Alexis tells her that the first thing they have to do is rescind the claim that Jason is dead, and then asks Sam if she wants to divorce Jason, since obviously she has to do that if she wants to marry Patrick.

Jason tells little Jake who he is. Jake is like, I knew it, because he did. I noticed he didn’t say anything to his mother about how she’d said it first. Monica is at the door. I’d forgotten that Jason is her son.

Paul tells Jordan about hiring Anna. She says that’s cool, but the timing is weird, since there’s not much in the way of organized crime going on right now. Unless there’s something Paul isn’t telling her. Yeah, like everything.

Dillon and Lulu are still getting it on, and I thought one of their phones was ringing, but it was really the background music being too loud. She stops things before they get totally nakey. She says she’s doing the same thing Dante did, and Dillon asks if she’s going to forgive Dante. Please don’t let it be this easy.

Dante tells Valerie (why is he even talking to her?) that he’s not sure how much space to give Lulu. If she sees them talking, he’s going to have to give her a whole lot of space. Like forever space. Valerie says to give Lulu a little time and she’ll come around. And blah-blah-blah about what a great guy he is.

Lulu tells Dillon they aren’t such great friends anymore, and he gets kind of offended. He insults Dante and deservedly so, but she says she still loves Dante, even though she wishes she didn’t.

Sam tells Alexis that she and Jason might be married, but he doesn’t remember and started a new life. When Alexis asks what she wants, Sam says to go back in time before Jason disappeared. Nobody asked me, but I’d like to go back to the 80s.

Monica says grandma stuff to Jake and Elizabeth takes him to school. Jason says he hopes Monica doesn’t expect him to call her mom. He says he doesn’t want one more person telling him what he was like or what he should feel. She says she has no intention of doing that, but if he wants any truths, to let her know. Monica says she learned to let go of the man he was and love the one he is now. She just wants a conversation about who he’s become. She asks for a hug and he gives her one. She invites him to the annual Thanksgiving pizza dinner. He promises to think about it and she promises that, per tradition, it will be a disaster. I love Thanksgiving at the Q’s! Waaah! I miss Alan, and Lila, and Edward.

Elizabeth whines to Patrick about how the man she was going to marry is married to his fiancé. Patrick has an astute moment, and says something about how Elizabeth acted like something might go wrong just before the wedding was supposed to happen. She says if he just keeps Sam away from Jason, everything will be okay.

Dante wishes Valerie the best of luck (really, that’s what he says) and they have an awkward hug.

Lulu apologizes to Dillon. This time, her phone really does ring and she says it’s a reminder that she has to be somewhere and dashes off. Paul arrives. Dillon apologizes for taking Paul’s half a million, but Paul is like, it’s cool, I’ll write it off. I wish Paul was my dad. Dillon says he’s pulling the plug on the film. Paul says he feels partially responsible for encouraging him go after what he wanted. Paul and Dillon do some exposition dialogue to catch people up who missed the last few episodes.

Jordan isn’t totally buying that Paul hired Anna to keep everything going well. Anna says she’s got too much time on her hands and just sits around thinking about Duke. Jordan tells Anna to keep an eye on Paul because she doesn’t quite trust him. Anna says she has every intention of doing that.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that Sam will want Jason back. He says, “Ouch!” and I agree. That was freakin’ rude, but no surprise since she is soooo self-centered. Patrick says to give him some credit.

Sam says she understands that she and Jason might have taken different paths, but it freaks her out that he remembers nothing of their life together. She said she always had the feeling he was alive, even when everyone told her to shut-up and move on. She’s says Spinelli felt it spiritually, but she felt it physically in her heart. She can’t believe Jason didn’t feel it too. And – no surprise – there he is at the door!

Patrick tells Elizabeth que sera sera, and if what they have is real, it will work out. Like Elizabeth is going to let things alone. Monica arrives at the hospital and tells Elizabeth that Jason told her he feels like he’s being pulled in all directions, and she needs to back off. Go, Monica!

Alexis “introduces” herself to Jason, and leaves. Sam calls Danny and if those two don’t say something about the Lucky Buddha (which I think is actually not the right name) vow renewal, I am going to go out of my mind.

Paul tells Dillon not to give up on his dreams. I wouldn’t have expected him to be so cliché.

Dante and Lulu both show up for the doctor’s appointment they had to prepare for the embryo transfer. Very awkward. The Nurse Practitioner (I don’t really know what she is, but that’s what I decided) says the doctor is in surgery and gives Lulu some prescriptions. She says, “So. Are you ready to make a baby?” and I almost lose it.

Lulu says they’ve decided not to move forward and please tell the doctor they’re canceling. The NP asks what they should do with the embryo and she says don’t do anything and runs out. Dante follows, and asks what her plans are. She asks what shade of lipstick Valerie wears since it’s on his collar. D’oh! Then she tells him she might want to give Rocco siblings one day, and she doesn’t need him to do it. Oh, snap! Quadruple snap.

Valerie gets a call that she’s going to be working with Dante. No way, no how, would that ever happen IRL.

Monica tells Elizabeth to give Jason some time to remember. Another unbelievable scenario.

Jason tells Sam he has questions. She says if she can help him, she will, whenever he’s ready. She says he’s welcome to see Danny any time, and since Danny really doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no drama or pressure. They almost hug, but it’s too awkward, so they shake hands, which is even more awkward. Lots of awkward in this episode. He starts to leave and Sam asks him not to go.

The Real Housewives of the OC – Brooks Tells All & Secrets Revealed

We’ve already seen the main point – Brooks telling Meghan to f-off.  This is basically a one-on-one interview with Andy Cohen to follow up the whole does-he-or-does-he-not have cancer debacle this season. There isn’t a lot to say about the show, since we’ve pretty much heard it all. Brooks has admitted to throwing around false documents for the show’s sake, but still insists that he did/does have cancer. He is not, however, going to make anyone privy to his real medical records. While we haven’t heard great things about him, my jury is still out on this. He seems like a real schmuck, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t sick.

My main gripe with the whole thing though, is how Vicki was treated. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t, but I’m sure she believed him up to a point. Things changed though, when her mother died. Vicki was tremendously affected by this and no one took that into account or even seemed to care. Meghan actually said, like the insensitive, unempathetic brainless twit that she is, that a death doesn’t affect other areas of her life. I don’t wish ill on her, but one day she will be sorry for those words. Oh, unless she is really heartless and once someone dies, they’re out of sight out of mind for her.

My father raised me and passed away just before I got married. It’s been 30 years now, and it still affects me in some ways. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it just makes them easier to live with. When this was fresh, it affected me greatly. It’s like your world stops and you wonder how everything else can still be going on. I could see the tremendous pain that Vicki was, and still is, in. Perhaps Brooks was someone she could cling to in that time, and she didn’t want to see that there was anything wrong. If her friends really loved her, they would have backed off for a minute. Instead, they were absolutely relentless in their quest to prove Brooks was a liar and hammer opinions and questions at her. Meghan really does seem like there’s something wrong with her thinking, and she didn’t know Vicki, so that (almost) makes sense. But I’m disappointed in the other ladies. They should know better. Shame on them. And I see they’re still bitching about it. I hope they come around, but regardless, I hope Vicki is able to pull herself out of this funk she’s in. I haven’t always liked her behavior, but I think she has a good heart, and I’m rooting for her.

On to some revealed secrets. I’m glad they stopped using the term “lost footage.” Did they expect me to think Andy dropped it behind his desk and then forgot about it? Don’t insult my intelligence. I feel stupid enough already just watching this stuff.

I like these shows, because they often save the best for last, and there will be scenes that have me wondering why they weren’t included in the regular season. It’s also the time we get to see the women getting along, just having fun

Tamra says she hasn’t had a potato in 10 years. Ha-ha! Shannon says a Michigan diet is potato, potato, potato. I say an Oklahoma diet is beef, beef, beef.

We get to see some more of Heather shopping for the house. It has 70 doors! She says her closet, which I’m sure is also a dressing room, needs a combination to get in to. Is it a panic room too? Terry must be freaking loaded. I don’t think it came from Heather’s TV movie income. I’m not criticizing, just making an observation.

There wasn’t much Meghan in this show. I’m wondering if she left a bad taste in fans’ mouths or if she just didn’t contribute anything except negativity. She was even excluded from the additional footage of the cancer argument, which I somewhat tuned out since I’ve had enough now.

I’m glad to see The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is coming back on December 1 (Giggy!), but it makes me think of how close Christmas is, and how unprepared I always am. Maybe I should get out the decorations tomorrow. Yeah, right.

Nov12

November 11, 2015 — Last Night’s Loving, GH & LA Listings

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

If Loving You Is Wrong

When the show starts, one of my dogs makes a loud snoring sound. I’m not sure if this is a comment on my choice of programming.

The kids are badgering Brad. They ask when their mother is coming home, and question him about leaving them alone in the house. He says he was next door talking to Marcie, but the kids are smarter than that, saying they know their parents aren’t talking to Marcie and Randal. They know something is wrong. Eddie comes busting in, and tries to order the kids around, but Brad drags him outside where he still gets way too loud, shouting about Randal being the father of Alex’s baby. He pretty much offers to murder Randal.

Mama Louise has made a meal for Marcie. She says she’s going home tomorrow and Marcie hugs her. Marcie asks how she’s going to get over it and Louise says, “Time,” but adds some people never get over it. Marcie says it’s been a while already and Louise says that she must love Randal because she wanted to hurt him so badly. She gives a mini speech about love and hate. Marcie says she feels humiliated and embarrassed about sleeping with Brad. Louise says she needs to stop drinking. Louise says it’s a bad idea to be a chronic drunk when you have a huge problem on your hands.

Eddie is sitting in a truck outside the strip mall. Ben approaches and tells Eddie that he can’t get Pete to come out to meet him. For whatever stupid reason, Ben has his girlfriend with him, and Eddie gets unnecessarily insulting to her. Eddie gives him some pills, says he’s getting out of there, and tomorrow Pete is dead (“Dead! Do you hear me?” Yes, we get it.)

Pete is once again trying to look at that stupid video. New girl Claudia interrupts him. He can’t catch a break with that thing. She gets some coffee and he sees some stuff that I have no idea what it is. Why the blip does he want to do this in the middle of the precinct? It’s hard to sneak around in a room full of people. Ben comes in and Claudia says she’s sorry, and that she saw part of the tape. I get it. It’s the tape of Ben getting shot and not by his own hand as he claimed.

Ben calls Eddie and tells him Pete saw the video. He tells him that Claudia saw it too. Now Eddie is going to come back to work and kicks whatever girl he’s with out of bed. He just constantly barks orders at everyone and he’s getting on my nerves.

Natalie drops by Kelly’s office. Kelly tells her that it’s going to be difficult for her to get a loan, but if she applies with Lucien, they can definitely get it. Kelly has a lot of good things to say about Lucien. Natalie is startled at how much money he has in the bank. Kelly asks if Natalie filled out the forms and signed his name. Natalie says yes, and Kelly is like, you can’t do that, that she can get fired. Natalie is insistent about wanting to know where Lucian got $250K.

Ben approaches Pete at work and wants to know why Pete is so distant. Pete says he’s just busy and to get lost. Uh-oh. Eddie walks in. It annoys me just looking at him. He stops Pete from leaving the room. Eddie wants the video. Pete plays stupid, but he’s not fooling Eddie. Pete keeps saying he doesn’t know what Eddie is talking about. Eddie gets all In his face and he tells him to open his locker or die. Pete says he’s going to the captain. Eddie says if he does, he won’t live one day on the streets. His face looks crazy and he says he gets off on shooting people.

Damn. This kid still stands his ground. Eddie starts slamming him around when Lucien walks in. Lucien wants to know why Eddie isn’t still convalescing, and Eddie says he was released, and woo-hoo, they’ll be riding together again.

After Eddie leaves, Lucien asks what’s up and Pete says Eddie is just being a dick. Lucien knows there’s more to it than that. Pete is practically crying and wants to know why Lucien can’t be his partner anymore. Lucien says he has to ride with Eddie because they were originally partners. Lucien tries again to get the truth from Pete, but for whatever reason, Pete won’t tell him.

Ramsey is out mowing the lawn, shirtless, and Kelly can’t help but notice. Me too. He’s feeling pretty badly about the loss of his mother, and Kelly invites him in. He says he’s all sweaty, and she says the sweatier the better. Not really, but I know she’s thinking it.

Alex wants to get out of the hospital, but the doctor says her blood pressure still needs to be monitored. She says Alex has to keep her stress level down. Alex says she’ll try. The doctor says on the upside, the baby is doing great.

Brad confuses all of us by showing up with flowers. He asks for a moment alone, and the doctor says no, since the monitor shows Alex’s blood pressure going through the roof. The doctor says he must be trying to torture her to death and he should be ashamed of himself. Brad says Alex should be ashamed and she says she is. He says he has a big surprise for her when she gets home, and I’m wondering why the doctor would even discharge her in his care.

Ramsey wants Kelly to call Marcie about selling the house. She says it’s probably not the best time, but calls anyway. When Marcie answers, she explains and puts Ramsey on the phone.

At the burger place Faun comes in to pick up the register bag. She tries to flirt with Joey, and he pretends not to care. Faun tries to kiss him in an employee room, but he says some other time because he doesn’t need grief from his mother. They kiss good-by and he tells her to be careful with the money, which is like telling us something is going to happen.

Yep, the drug dealer guys are outside watching. Juan tells (another) Randal that she goes to 17 locations and it’s a lot of money. Randal says that if Juan doesn’t get the money he owes him, he’s dead.

Louise says she thinks Randal is becoming a new man. Marcie chokes on her coffee. Randal is outside, staring at the shed, thinking of good times there with Alex. He actually looks like he’s out of his mind. Marcie has to go to work selling Ramsey’s house. There’s some chatting between Marcie and Louise, when all of a sudden, Randal comes in and grabs Marcie by the hair and pulls her to the ground. Whoa.

General Hospital

I had an extended lunch with a friend today, so I had to DVR this and give you a condensed version.

The first thing I see is Sonny dropping a coffee pot and I laugh.

Dante and Sonny talk. Sonny is totally pissed at Carly for not being at his beck and call. Carly visits Jason and wants him to talk to Sonny, since obviously she’s not getting anywhere. Jason acts like he’s all busy (with what? it’s not like he has to go to work – or on the honeymoon) and she asks him to do it for her.

Nina wants to get a job because she thinks it will be fun and I think she should go back to Shadybrook. She wants to be a fashion editor and contribute to society. While she is wearing a fabulous dress, I have my doubts that being a fashion editor is a contribution to anything except magazines. Mushy stuff between her and Franco.

Boring stuff with Julian and Alexis. Julian is having tax problems, and owes a bunch of money.

Sonny keeps acting like an idiot, telling Dante that Carly thought “Jake’s“ (will the quotation marks ever end?) wedding was more important than him. I refrain from throwing a brick at the TV. Only because I don’t have one. Dante says Sonny will get Avery back and he’ll get Lulu back because he lives in a dream world.

Lulu tells Laura about the sizzle reel debacle, and asks her to watch Rocco because she doesn’t want to be there when Dante comes to see him. Laura is like wtf? and Lulu starts crying and asking why, why, why?

Maxie gets on Dillon’s case. She tells him skywriting would have been a better idea than what he did, although she probably would have done the same thing. She tells him the fundraising was a success and they have to find a new place to film. He says he’s abandoning the project because he’s a big baby. Maxie says the mantra of GH – what about me?

Obrecht shows up at Nina’s place. Nina leaves for her job interview. Franco wants his hospital job as an art therapist back. Obrecht is fine with that, but she says he has to go through a psychological interview due to new rules.

Laura tells Lulu to take some time and gives her props for putting Rocco first.

Carly drags Jason’s ass to Sonny, who immediately acts like big baby number two, not listening to her. Carly tells Jason he’s going to have to tell him who he is and he does.

Nina comes to Julian’s office to interview for the job of fashion editor at Crimson. Does he own The Sun too? No, wait. That was One Life to Live. Julian tells her to go to HR,

Maxie tells Dillon that neither Spielberg nor Coppola ever shut down production because of girl trouble. I say that’s because they probably never had any girlfriends. Dillon says she’ll have to give back the donor money, but not to give up, because no matter where she lands, they’ll be lucky to have her.

Laura invites Lulu to stay at Windermere. Isn’t that Nicholas’s castle? Enter Dante.

At first, Sonny acts all stupid, not believing Jason is Jason. He says Carly invented the DNA test and she tells him he’s an a-hole. Okay, I just wish she told him that. She tells him to really look at Jason, past his face. Sonny takes Jason’s hand in his and they kiss. Okay, that didn’t happen either and I’m actually making fun of what’s a tender moment. Sonny realizes that it’s Jason and I like Sonny for the first time in a while. Jason wants desperately to leave.

Dante wants to talk to Lulu, saying they can get past it. She says she doesn’t want to get past it.

Nina has what passes as an interview with Julian. He asks that stupid question about where do you see yourself in five years, and she answers the way we’d all like to – she wants to run the magazine. Julian is like okay, why not?

Jason says he doesn’t remember being Sonny’s friend, which is kind of sad. Sonny tells him all about their friendship, and gives me the side of Sonny I like. He says that Jason never realized how much he was valued and lived a dangerous life. Sonny tells him that he’s home.

Laura talks to Dante, telling him that he needs to take some time too. She says if he doesn’t give Lulu some space, he’ll definitely lose her.

Dillon tries to apologize to Lulu. She says he may have done her a favor in the long run, but he humiliated her in the process.

Alexis freaks out over Julian putting Nina in charge of the magazine. She says that Nina will run it into the ground. Then the light bulb comes on. Julian will have a tax write off. You know what’s going to happen though, right? She’s going to make it a success.

Jason says he doesn’t think he’ll ever remember. That if being surrounded for the past year by all these people who care about him didn’t jar a memory, nothing will. He says enough already, he can’t do this. Carly says she and Sonny need him. He says they need Jason and he doesn’t know who Jason is or how to be him.

Lulu tells Dillon that she wants nothing to do with Dante, Valerie or him. Then she plants a huge kiss on him and I get totally confused.

Maxie returns Nina’s check to Franco. Nina comes in and tells them about her new job. Maxie wonders why Nina got hired when she doesn’t know squat and Nina hires her as an assistant. (All dream jobs should come this easy.)

Sonny is cool with Carly now. He says he wishes things were different. Don’t we all, Sonny. Don’t we all.

Jason goes home to Elizabeth’s house and has a flash of a memory about Sonny.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshA and James have buried the hatchet. They talk about how they got into real estate, and discuss having kids. James has three, and Josh is on the fence about it. James asks why the two Joshes can’t make nice with one another.  Not only is that not happening, JoshA has recently taken a listing out from under JoshF .

JoshF is showing a house to a client who has a long list of wants.  It’s one of those houses right on the beach. It’s kind of odd designed, half Spanish Inquisition, half Flintstones. While she likes it, Josh seems to think they can do better.

JoshA is showing the overpriced house that he’d only gotten one offer for even after lowering the price. The couple is looking for a weekend house. Must be nice, huh? All of these houses always seem fabulous to me and the views are always spectacular. Well, except for that house with the apartment building thisclose.

Commercial break and important information. Andy’s Brooks interview is tomorrow, Thursday night at 9 pm. Be there or have a life.

James tells David about his meeting with JoshA. James talks about his lack of success in finding a commercial property for his client who wants a space on Sunset. James makes a call and finds out that the Hustler building (yes, that Hustler) has been looked at by some developers.

JoshA gets a wakeup call from his client who just got back from Russia about the house he agreed to lower the price on. The client is getting itchy to move on, but Josh has some prospects. Josh says consider the fire under his ass lit.

JoshF’s client wonders if there’s a house they haven’t seen yet. Josh says he can’t figure out if she’s picky, or if she really doesn’t want to move. He says he’s shown her everything in her budget, so he goes higher. Showing first, and telling the price later. These beach houses all look the same from the outside, very oblong and boxy, but the insides are pretty fantastic. This woman seems kind of uncomfortable, but I get the feeling that it’s being on camera.

David wants his girlfriend, Adrienne, to consider selling the house they built together. At first, Adrienne is really put off by it, but she sees the wisdom in selling in a hot market and having money to put away for the future. She tells him to go ahead. Lots of kissy, kissy.

James has difficulty getting through to the representative for the Hustler building, which is being sold off market, but his tenacity pays off. He tells the client they have to be low key, and they pretend to shop in what must be the Hustler store, because it’s filled with naughty clothing and sundries. They get a private showing of the building, and James talks about adding floors and the view. Why do they care about the view if it’s not residential? Too good of a view and no one will work. Price is no object, so James has to find out what other buyers have offered, and offer more.

JoshA gets an offer for the overpriced then lowered price place. He has to bring girlfriend Heather’s mini Yorkie dog, Tom Brady (yes, named after that Tom Brady) with him for some reason. This would definitely make me more apt to make a deal, but I don’t know about his client.

JoshF’s client does not want to spend $8 million, and low-balled the seller. They counter with $8.1 million. The client does not want to come up, and it becomes obvious she doesn’t really want to move. Way to waste the broker’s time. While these guys make skabillion dollars a year, I still don’t like to see anyone’s time wasted like that.

JoshA arrives at the client’s house and it looks like he’s interrupted an appointment with another listing agent. What’s the matter with these people? The client tells him he’s meeting with different agents for the property they’re at and acts like Josh isn’t serious about things because he brought the dog. Josh calls his brother, Max, who has the better relationship with the buyer and gives him the client’s counter offer. The buyer counters with a slightly better, best and final, offer. Josh says he personally thinks it’s a good offer and the client agrees. And finally smiles. He also gives Josh the other listing. I sometimes wonder how much of the clients’ attitudes are for the camera.

James brings his client to the Hustler building where they’re going to meet with Larry Flynt’s team. The meeting table is normal, but the chairs are these amazing creations with brocade Victorian scenes on them. One of the reps says that they have an offer already of $18 million. He says they’ll also need time to relocate the store. Since the client needs time for permits and such, that’s okay. They do have a long term tenant that has 9 years to go on their lease. The client is willing to swing $300K the tenant’s way. They make a bunch of negotiations I don’t understand, but it looks good, and they’re going to bring in Larry Flynt. While I’m not exactly a fan of his work, I have to admit, he’s an interesting character.

James wants the deal done today because he doesn’t want the competition knowing their game. Larry comes in and I wonder why his outfit looks like something off of a Kmart rack. Larry okays the deal and I think they just brought him on as window dressing for the show, since he didn’t contribute much. The final sale price is $19,050,000 and James’s commission is $457,500. I can’t say he didn’t work for this one, but I’d probably retire right there.

Next week, the two Joshes butt heads for the billionth time.

Nov11

November 10, 2015 — The Real Jason Morgan, a Yacht Hook Up, & Some Quotes

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

We start where we left off with Ava insulting Sonny. He says he can still load a gun, and could blast her with so many bullets, they wouldn’t recognize the body. Carly and the guys tell him to knock it off.

Sam asks Patrick if he thinks the DNA test is legit and he says it looks that way.

I hope Jason slaps Elizabeth off that bridge. She admits she didn’t want him to know who he was, but doesn’t exactly say she knew who he was. He says it’s not like she was keeping anything from him, so there’s nothing to forgive. You know this is going to come out eventually, and I can’t wait. I hope he gets seriously pissed off at her.

Carly tells Ava to back off. How can she even still want to be with Sonny after what he just said? Kiki, Scotty and Ric come in and Ava tells Kiki to tell them what she saw. Kiki says she saw nothing, but I have the feeling that there’s a tape recorder in Ava’s purse. She got awfully close to Sonny when she baited him. Carly tells them about the car accident. Hello, Kiki, are you listening?

Jason tells Elizabeth he’s sorry things turned out the way they did, but he still loves her. She says let’s get married like we were going to. Um…he’s already married. I think you have to take care of that first.

Sam tells Patrick that she’s reliving every interaction she had with Jason. She asks Patrick if Jason will start to remember, and he says most amnesiacs would have remembered by now. I feel badly for Sam, since she must be feeling pretty confused. Patrick says they’ll figure it out about her marriage to Jason.

Hayden says she noticed Nicholas didn’t react when Jason made his announcement, and it’s because he and Elizabeth already had their freak out when they first found out about him months ago. Nicholas says apparently Hayden regained her memory. I really love Rebecca Buddig in this role. I liked her on All My Children, but Greenlee was a little sappy for me.

Hayden says she was confused when she first woke up, but the familiar surroundings at Windermere brought the rest back. He asks why she was pretending when she could have taken advantage of him. She says she thought twice after the first time when she got a bullet in her head for her trouble, and she’s also really interested in him.

Kiki is looking at everyone with a face like something out of a horror film. Was she drunk when she put on her makeup? That’s not a smoky eye, that’s a raccoon eye. Ric goes off on Carly about not showing up on time. She wants to tell Sonny that Jason is alive, but the court is reconvening and he’s like, later.

Sam says Patrick is talking about her marriage like it’s just a piece of paper, when it’s more complicated than that. And thank you, Sam, for pointing out that he did the same thing to Sabrrrina. Idiot.

Elizabeth is pushing Jason to get married by the Justice of the Peace immediately. He says his feelings for her haven’t changed, but he’s legally married to Sam and they have a son. Elizabeth says she wouldn’t expect him to turn his back on them. He says his DNA might be Jason’s, but not his memories. He said he heard so many stories about how much Jason meant to people, but there was a lot he didn’t like. He says he can’t marry Elizabeth because he doesn’t want to give her a name he’s not sure he wants himself. I seriously wish he’d get a clue. Elizabeth sure seems anxious to get on with the marriage and if she really loved him, you’d think she’d give him a minute to breathe.

Nicholas says Hayden’s been playing him and for all he knows, she still is. She asks if that makes him extra hot and I laugh. She tells him she (ugh!) “has feelings for him” and she believes he has the same feelings. Now I will have an earworm of Feelings for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

Sam goes over various people’s reactions to Jason, like Spinelli and Carly. Patrick continues to act selfishly and tries to talk her out of feeling any way except uncertain. He’s actually starting to stammer because he knows he’s not getting anywhere. Sam says she doesn’t want to hurt Patrick, and he says he doesn’t want her to make the same mistake he did.  “Don’t buy into the future of someone based on a memory,” he tells her. Geez, no one wants to give anyone a minute here.

Jason says he has enemies who will most likely be after him once they know he’s alive, and he doesn’t want to put Elizabeth and the kids in danger. She tries her best to backtrack, saying that she must have known inside who he really was.  Nice try.

The judge asks if Scotty has any character witnesses for Ava. He says Sonny would be their best bet. RIc is like, huh? and Scotty brings out the recording. Ric tries to say something about Sonny not knowing he was being recorded, but Scotty counters with it being a one-party state. The judge okays the recording to be played. Sonny either wants to disappear or kill Ava or both. It’s not looking good for him. I wasn’t on his side to begin with, but if he can’t even control himself that much, maybe he really isn’t the best custodial parent.

Hayden asks what Nicholas wants to do. She tells him that his life is more interesting with her around. That’s for sure. He blended into the wallpaper before she came along.

I want to smack Patrick. He goes on about how Jason loves Elizabeth now and makes up all kinds of crap. Sam wisely says no one really knows what’s going to happen now. Patrick tries to compare the whole thing with his Robin experience, but she says it’s not the same. He asks if she stopped loving him when she found out Jason was alive. She says no, but she doesn’t know what to do yet. He says let’s go home and deal with it tomorrow. Tomorrow is now vying with Feelings for the earworm of the day.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he’s not going anywhere, but he needs to figure out what it is to be Jason Morgan.

Everyone tries to tell the judge that Ava baited Sonny, because in Port Charles you’re allowed to shout out in court. The judge says Sonny’s statements are disconcerting, and also, since he said them in a court, Ava could file charges. Scotty says the judge will sign Ava’s death warrant if she doesn’t have custody. The judge says a lot of blah-blah-blah about Sonny being an idiot and awards custody to Ava, giving Sonny supervised visits if the caseworker okays it. She says Sonny had better learn how to play well with others. Ava tells Sonny that she doesn’t want Avery not to know her father, but he needs to get with the anger management program.

At home, while Sam muses over her engagement ring, Patrick stupidly asks what she’s thinking about. She says she doesn’t know how to explain things to Danny when she doesn’t understand them herself.

Elizabeth tells Jason that the kids (who were out for ice cream when he came back with Carly) are confused and don’t understand why they didn’t get married. He says they’ll talk to the kids in the morning and she asks what they’re going to say. Jason says “the truth,” and Elizabeth asks what that word means, since she has no concept of it. She wants to go up to bed, but he says he needs a minute. I think he actually needs like a year.

Sonny acts like a big a-hole, saying Carly wasn’t there for him. Yeah, how much time did she even take? She was in a car accident, you freaking moron. She wants to tell him about Jason, but he goes la-la-la and covers his ears. For once I give Michael some credit, because he sticks around to listen. She tells him that Jason is alive. And his eyes go all crazy.

Nicholas wants to go upstairs now, but Hayden wants to do it right this time and take it slow. He says he’ll see her at breakfast. She makes a phone call (when she’s right outside the door), saying she needs to talk, but it has to be in person.

Carly calls Jason and gets voice mail. She says she was late getting to the courthouse, Sonny’s in a bad place and wouldn’t listen, and she thinks they should tell him together.

Sam shows up at Elizabeth’s house on Jason’s motorcycle. She gives him the keys and says he can ride it over to see Danny any time he wants. We end with Elizabeth looking out the window all sad. What a tangled web we weave, eh?

Below Deck

Again, so glad Chef Ben is back!

Rocky and Emile go for a walk. (Sounds like a children’s book.) She tells Emile about hooking up with Eddie. In his individual interview he asks if he was supposed to “high five” her and I laugh. Rocky tells Emile that she really liked Eddie (thank you for not saying you “have feelings for” him) and she doesn’t hook up just to hook up. Emile says he had no idea and she says she has evidence on her phone. Think any good is going to come from this conversation? Me neither.

Ben and Kate are flirting like crazy.

Now Emile is pissy about taking orders from Eddie. No surprise since he’s 12 and not grounded in reality.

The primary guest is a 29-year-old self made millionaire. Captain Lee says those words scare the hell out of him. It’s the last charter, which bums me out because I want this show on all year.

Rocky asks Eddie if he’s excited to get off the boat and back to real life. Eddie disappoints me when he talks about how Rocky knew he had a girlfriend and she seduced him, absolving himself. While I can see how he made the mistake in the first place, he lost points with that remark.

Emile says he wonders how Eddie would take a few punches. Because he’s 5. Now he has a crummy attitude all over the place. Connie says something about that she could see why Rocky dumped him and he calls Connie a whore. What? He’ll be lucky if she doesn’t throw a few punches. And she could probably knock him out.

Amy tells Rocky that working on a yacht is hard and she has to find a way to control herself. Rocky starts crying and Amy says she feels badly for her. Not me. She’s as crazy as a loon. Eddie shouldn’t have gone near her in the first place, but she deserved what she got.

The guests arrive. These are the hot girlfriends? Ben concurs, but I don’t.

It’s time to go on the jet skis. The guests are from Chicago (which Ben says is the Mecca of steakhouses), and the primary says he wants to be blown away by Ben’s version of steak and potatoes.

Ben talks to Kate about Rocky. He says she seems like she’s dragging around and maybe they should give her a break. Kate says he hasn’t been there the whole season, and she and Amy have had to do most of her work. Kate doesn’t think the lack of work ethic should be rewarded, but says if Ben wants to do something for her, fine. Ben says Kate is being a mean bitch, but Kate says Rocky is a spoiled brat and I agree.

Eddie finds out that Rocky is following his girlfriend on Instagram. Ok, now she’s not just a spoiled brat, she’s creepy. Eddie is freaked and I don’t blame him.

I’m not a huge steak eater, but this cut of meat looks fantastic. Ben says the fun thing about cooking on a yacht is that you have unlimited means, and it’s a shame Chef Ben was repetitive. The guests say it’s the best rib eye they’ve ever had. Amy says Vito (the primary) has the money to show his guests a good time, but lacks the game to help them enjoy it. One of the girls calls him a d-bag and decides to remove herself form the table. He guests leave Vito and his girlfriend (?) at the table. Oh, I take that back, it sounds like they haven’t slept together and he was hoping to score on this trip. Not happening.

Rocky acts like an utter idiot, telling Emile she’s going crazy, crying, and generally acting like Eddie was the love of her life. There is really something wrong with this girl. Emile, in his immaturity, says Rocky needs someone to speak up for her and the truth will come out. This means he’s probably going to be the one to help that along.

Amy gives Connie props for actually doing her job. Eddie has said she’s the only deckhand he can trust. I like Connie. She’s a work hard/play hard kind of girl.

The guests are down for breakfast. Connie and Eddie are in the wheelhouse, and Emile comes by to apologize to Connie. She tells them what he’d said to her, and Captain Lee wonders what’s wrong with people. I’ve been asking that for years. The guests are being demanding, and Chef Ben is getting cranky. Vito Is hung over and excuses himself 10 seconds after he sits down. I’ll be damned if I ever pay 10s of 1000s of dollars for a vacation and spend it in the toilet.

Emile sees that the little boat that they take on excursions is almost banging into the yacht and tries to fix that by falling into the water between the two. He claims he doesn’t want to get involved with the Rocky/Eddie thing. Then why is he? I do really know why he is. He thinks he’s going to be Rocky’s knight in shining armor and she’s going to give him nookie. I hate to tell him this, but that’s not what’s going to happen. But he’s 10, so there’s no talking to him.

The guests are unhappy with breakfast, although they’re being really good about it, and just order different food. Kate has to tell Ben that the eggs were runny and the sausage was overcooked. This is not a messenger job anyone wants with any chef.

Commercial break. Apparently, The Hunger Games has hooked up with Chrysler. Did the author of the books okay that? If so, I just lost respect for them.

Amy says the secret ingredient to any bad breakfast is Mimosas. I add it’s also the secret ingredient to any bad lunch, dinner, or snack. Ben is going out of his way to make a phenomenal seafood dish to make up for the crappy eggs and sausage. I’m in. The guests are happy and all is forgiven. They’re actually pretty easy-going though.

The guests are going on a beach picnic. Captain Lee says they have a good attitude on the boat right now, so it should be fine. Little does he know. Vito is napping again. I guess he’s spending the whole charter snoozing. Rocky is staying behind and Emile offers to stand up for her and do pretty much anything she tells him to.

The guests are impressed with the picnic setup. Rocky decides to put on her mermaid tail and swim over. She says water calms her down. Judging by my neighborhood, it calms a lot of crazy people down. She flounders (no pun intended) around on the beach in front of the guests. Kate says that whenever anything with fins and a tail washes up in front of you, it ruins the picnic because it’s sad an awkward. Or something like that.

That brainless twit! Rocky is telling Amy about her and Eddie. She’s also making it sound like this was going on the entire season, and it wasn’t. She’s acting like she’s in middle school, which is why I don’t understand why she’s not into Emile. Amy says she has to sit down. She asks if Eddie broke up with his girlfriend, and Rocky acts clueless. Now she’s giving details that I don’t want to know and I can’t imagine that Amy does. Rocky says Eddie is acting like an asshat now. Emile comes in and says he wants  to talk to Eddie. Rocky is all like, what have I done? What did that moron think was going to happen when she told him? Her own immature idiocy must have recognized his.

Next week, the finale. And Eddie denies the hooking up.

The People’s Couch – Quotes of the Week

Because I can never pick just one.

Don’t you think he’s missing a few sandwiches? Blake; No. I just don’t think they’re fancy sandwiches. Emerson, referring to a character on Ash Vs. the Evil Dead

There was a time when I was definitely naked and afraid, and it was on our wedding night. Andrew, while watching Naked and Afraid

The funniest moment, however, was when one of the dogs snatched a potato chip from Julie and she snatched it back. I can identify.

Nov10

November 9, 2015 — GH, London & Gratuitous Pups

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Paul and Ava are grappling on the desk, but since they know how desperately I want to get back to that wedding, they cut things short. Anna is at Paul’s office door. Exit Ava.

Sonny complains about the wheelchair access at the courthouse. Rick has his Clark Kent look going on.

Heeeere we go! Jason enters the church with Carly. Elizabeth babbles like an idiot about getting on with the wedding, since Carly is okay. Jason says, so sorry, he’s got bigger news. He thinks he knows who he is. Thinks. Come on man, accept it now.

Commercial break that I can barely sit through.

Ava arrives at the courthouse and wonders why Carly isn’t there, suggesting maybe Carly doesn’t want the baby. Ric tells Sonny not to lose his cool. Neither Sonny nor Julian have been able to get Kiki to come. Julian suggests that Ava work something out with Sonny, but she says that if she doesn’t get full custody, he’ll make sure she never sees Avery again.

Paul tells Anna that he has a strategy for dealing with Ava. Is that what they’re calling it now? A strategy?  Anna says she might as well confess to killing Carrrlos. Paul is like, go ahead, and shows her a picture of Emma on his phone.

Just as the hearing is about to start, Kiki walks in. Ava thinks Kiki came for her, but I’m thinking probably not. Her real name is Lauren? How did they get Kiki out of that?

Elizabeth continues to babble. Sam sees that Carly has Spinelli’s wonderful laptop, and Carly says the program finished. Sam asks who “Jake” is and he says it. He finally says he’s Jason Morgan, but it’s through clenched teeth. He really does not want to be Jason. The sad part is, this is probably going to be the highlight of my week and it’s only Monday.

At the hearing, Morgan is up first. Scotty says that Sonny sent Morgan away to boarding school and Morgan says that was his idea. I’m surprised the judge doesn’t burst out laughing.

Elizabeth is like, you’re Jason? How? Carly shows them the facial reconstruction and everyone is looking all around like they did on The Haunted Star when they showed the sizzle reel. Carly says they were all so convinced Jason was dead, they didn’t see the signs. Carly pulls out the DNA test. Nicholas looks like he has indigestion, and Elizabeth tries to be swallowed up by the earth. Sam is like, no way, but she’s forgetting the “vow renewal” at the Lucky Buddha or wherever it was, when the old blind lady insisted he was Jason. I’m hoping Hayden gets to have some kind of input here, although I like her with Nicholas, and that would probably put the kibosh on their relationship. I don’t want this episode to end. Ever.

Commercial break. Apparently having curly hair has something to do with whether you get on the cheerleading squad or not. What?

Anna says how dare Paul wave Emma’s photograph in her face? He says he’s trying to get her to see reason, but she says he knows if she confesses, he’ll be incriminated because he’s covering up something besides switching the bodies. She suggests he might arm Emma, but he gets indignant at the mere suggestion. He says he admires her bond with Emma and doesn’t want to see her go to prison for what was justifiable homicide. She says he’d better be telling the truth, and if he goes near Emma, he’s a dead man.

Morgan talks about Ave killing Connie. Scotty counters with Sonny having killed Michael’s biological father, AJ. Sonny says he did his time, and Ric tells the judge they’re going to be filing charges against Ava. The judge says the court can’t be concerned with kinda, sorta, and we’ll be filing charges some other time. In my head is Judge Judy saying, “I don’t care!” with her hands cupped around her mouth. Michael gets on the stand, and Scotty brings up how Michael originally tried to get custody of Avery because he thought Sonny was unfit. Truth!

All the unnecessary guests leave the church. Hayden wants to go, but Nicholas says he’s not leaving Elizabeth. (Bleh.) Sam is totally freaking out. She remembers how every time Danny saw “Jake,” he was drawn to him. Oh ho! Elizabeth tries to act like, oh yeah, you’re right and “Jake” was drawn to you, and blah-blah-blah, trying to cover for her dishonest self. I hope she trips on her wedding dress train on the way back to her going nowhere life. And does she really think that young Jake isn’t going to say, told you so?

Michael says that he was reacting to AJ’s death when he fought Sonny for custody. Ava shouts something out about Sonny being a murderer. Scotty says Sonny has a dark and complicated relationship with all of his children. He asks Michael if he didn’t change his name legally from Corinthos to Quartermaine. Michaels says again that he was reacting to AJ’s death, and he wanted to hurt Sonny by taking Avery from him. He also goes on about how Sonny taught him to fish, and play baseball, and built him a stage in the barn.

Kiki takes the stand. Scotty thanks her for testifying on behalf of Ava. She says au contraire. She’s there to tell the court what a lying, stinking mother Ava is.

Paul acts like he’s all on Anna’s side. He says he would have done the same thing in her place. He says the good she can accomplish outweighs her crime.

Sam asks Jason if he remembers anything about their life together, but he says he doesn’t remember any more than he did when he woke up in the hospital. Jason says she deserves to have the Jason she loved back, but he looks at her as a friend, not his wife. Ouch! That’s the worst I-just-want-to-be-friends excuse I’ve ever heard. Sam runs out crying. I feel a little badly for Patrick in all this, but not that much. It’s a sort of divine retribution, since he did the same thing to Sabrrrina . Elizabeth tries tell Jason he has a new life as Jake now, but he’s not having that either. He says he had a life and someone stole it from him. He practically runs Elizabeth over to get to Nicholas. Is this where Hayden comes in?

Commercial break. It’s all about the LEGOS, but it looks like they’re geared to adults. Admit it. You know you play with your kids’ toys.

Jason gets Nicholas in a chokehold. Why doesn’t he realize that Elizabeth was part of this? He lets go, but says he’s not done with Nicholas. Nicholas says that his grandmother is to blame and he doesn’t know anything. Carly says if Jason is right, Nicholas is going to pay. Nicholas and Hayden start to go, and Sam says that if he was hiding Jason’s identity, she’ll never forgive him. Like he cares.

Elizabeth babbles some more. Carly interjects that she needs to knock it off because he’s still married to Sam. That shuts her up. Jason wants to go figure things out. Carly tries to follow, but Elizabeth stops her with some egocentric words about how Jason loves her and needs her right now. Me, me, me, as usual. Lucas tells Carly that Sonny needs her right now.

Paul keeps trying to talk Anna into keeping her mouth shut. He shows her the pic again, and says that Emma doesn’t have her mother and needs Anna. He says when he saw Anna and Emma picking out the Halloween costumes, it was the first time he saw her smile. She asks what he really wants, and he says he wants them to work together. I like Paul, even though he’s a bad guy.

Kiki talks back and forth with Ava, which they would never allow in a real court. In Port Charles, it’s like anyone can speak up whenever they want to. The judge says it’s time for a break and I agree. Let’s get back to Jason. Kiki tells Sonny he’s always been good to her and moons over him for saving TJ. I guess she’s forgotten that TJ never would have been kidnapped in the first place if it hadn’t been for Sonny. It’s his own fault that he’s in that wheelchair. BTW, everyone is wearing funeral black at this hearing. Ava and Sonny are alone in the courtroom. Ava tells Sonny that if he gets custody, Avery will have to grow up taking care of him instead of the other way around. I see she’s going to play the wheelchair bound card.

Commercial break. Every day this storyline continues, I worry that ABC News will break in on the last 2 seconds.

Anna wants to know what kind of job Paul has in mind. He says her experience with the WSB is invaluable and he wants to hire her as a consultant. He says they both understand that you sometimes need to step outside the lines when it comes to justice.

Ava tells Sonny that she sees pity in everyone’s eyes when they look at him. She says they feel sorry for him, but glad they’re not the ones in the chair. She wonders how long Carly will be happy with an invalid who can’t satisfy her. He grabs her wrist and threatens her with serious bodily harm, just as Carly walks in. Not the best timing.

Hayden tells Nicholas that she’s totally turned on by his chivalry, but he should be concerned that Jason will find out what he and Elizabeth knew.

Sam is still freaked that Jason is alive and her husband.

Jason is on the bridge when Elizabeth approaches. He talks about remembering the bridge and asks if he came here a lot. She tells him to look at her and when he does, she tells him she’s sorry. Is she going to out herself on her part in the deception? I wanted that to be Hayden’s job.

Great show!

Ladies of London

We’re back from the Denmark debacle. Annabelle is visiting with The Baroness (Caroline #2). She says everyone was having “their own personal drama” on the trip. Maybe so, but I’d pretty much give her the Personal Drama Award for Passive Aggressive. Julie joins them. She says she loved Denmark and Annabelle rolls her personally dramatic eyes.

The Baroness brings up Julie having said she’s scared of Caroline #1 a million years ago. Annabelle starts going on about people talking behind your back. She’s obviously referring to Julie and says she’s changed. I think her problem is actually that Julie is branching out and doing her own thing and is busier than Annabelle. I don’t think Julie has a mean bone in her body. Ah-ha! (In Nelson voice.) Julie brings up a text on her phone when she apologized to Annabelle. Annabelle goes on about losing Alexander McQueen – 5 years ago – and how everyone is supposed to fall at her feet because she lost a friend and Julie didn’t give her a “cuddle and kiss” at his funeral when there was a line a mile long. What is up with this chick that she needs people to acknowledge her every second? Julie starts crying – probably what Annabelle wanted – and says sometimes she has to text because her plate is pretty damn full. I used to like Annabelle. Now I think she’s an a-hole.

Juliet steps in, saying she does feel love from Julie and understands how sometimes you can’t be there 24/7 for everyone. I wonder when she got added to this lunch, since she just kind of appeared.

Julie meets with Marissa, who she says has the best relationship with Annabelle. No surprise since they’re both insensitive, self-centered twits. Julie says texting for her is like letter writing and doesn’t always have time for calls or visits. Marissa does get one thing right. Annabelle has no husband and kids, and therefore doesn’t understand the time suck a family can be. Julie says she’s going to have to have a word with Caroline #1 as well, and Marissa says the new balls she’s grown look good on her.

I do feel badly for Caroline #1 losing her business. She says she understands that she’s blessed with a wonderful home life, but she misses the office. She says that in England, women are expected to be all about home and family. I’m not sure how different that is from the US, no matter what anyone says. Here, you’re just supposed to juggle an outside job too.

Marissa gets together with Annabelle. She brings up the Julie thing. Annabelle says with Julie, it’s not just one tear, the floodgates open. I want to make fun of her until she cries. Honestly, in the beginning, I thought she was the mature one, but as time has gone on, I see she’s a pot stirrer.

Now Annabelle is out to tea with Caroline #1. Caroline says she feels like she’s been brought in to fix it. Whatever “it” is. She tells Annabelle she invited her out to see where she is with everyone. Annabelle says something about being British and moving on, but that’s not what I see from her at all. She hangs onto things for dear life. Caroline says Annabelle keeps things to herself and she wants others to ask what’s going on. Annabelle says she knows she comes across as a “cold cow,” but that’s’ not the case. Stop acting like one then. Caroline says she doesn’t want her to leave the friend group, but she needs to get with the program if she wants to stay. In other words, you have to be a friend to have one. Maybe the problem is they don’t have Girl Scouts there.

Caroline says Annabelle needs to make a decision. Annabelle says she’s a vulnerable person, but doesn’t come off like that. No kidding. Caroline says she knows that Annabelle suffers from anxiety, but no one else knows that. I guess she’s one of those people who wants everyone to be a mind reader. I hate that. Caroline says she’s throwing a party and would like Annabelle to attend.

Caroline meets with her party planners. It’s going to be some kind of tropical theme. Apparently renting cabana stripper boys is expensive, starting at £650. We get a gratuitous shot of Caroline’s French bulldog puppy and I squee.

Annabelle is hosting some kind of children’s party for the launch of her new book. She has a grandma that looks like someone out of an old movie – the old lady who plays the maiden aunt who’s full of wisdom part – and she’s wearing a gigantic fur hat. Joan Collins Sophie shows up and I wonder if she has kids. She strikes me as someone who should be kept away from kids. Annabelle reads the new book Angry Me. It’s too bad she doesn’t take her own damn advice and deal with her feelings instead of taking them out on everyone else.

Man, I love the music on this show. I wonder if they have a soundtrack.

Caroline #1 is getting ready for her party, and like everyone else hosting a party, she hides all her kids’ toys and junk in the closets, so she can pretend she doesn’t live in her house. Julie is riding over with Marissa and says she doesn’t know what to expect from Annabelle anymore. Juliet and Annabelle are getting ready together, and Annabelle is wearing a romper so short I can see her butt cheeks. (BTW, don’t use the word “fanny” for butt in England. It’s bad. Also don’t use the word “butt.” It’s not bad, but “butty” means a sandwich, so you will be very confusing.)

Annabelle tells Juliet she needs to have something out with Julie. Yep. She moves on just fine. To be honest, while she is rocking the outfit, Annabelle looks totally out of place next to the other guests. She and Julie hug. Annabelle says that when they were in Denmark, Julie seemed like she wasn’t really there for her. Because that trip was all about her. I get what’s happening. Julie probably was at her beck and call at some point and now can’t be. Or maybe doesn’t want to be. What Annabelle needs are some single friends with no life. I don’t have kids either, but I certainly don’t expect my friends who do have them to be asking me what I need every single moment. It’s also not like Annabelle seems reciprocal on that front either.

Annabelle says Julie wasn’t there when she was going through a bad time, although she was there for Julie. Julie apologizes for the thousandth time and they hug it out. How long this will last, who knows? Lots of selfies and shots happen. Caroline #1 makes a big announcement that she’s moving on to a new phase and she wants everyone to come along. She says put the music on and let the naughtiness begin and everyone jumps in the pool

This is the finale, so everyone says their little thing at the end. None of it very interesting.

Vanderpump Rules

I can’t wait for Scheana to get pissed at Kristen.

New girl Lala (who names their kid “Lala?”) is working the register. She says so far she’s doing well; no one has punched her in the face or called her a bitch yet.  At least she has a sense of humor. I think. Maybe she was being serious.

Katie is training a new server and says it’s more complicated than you might think. They have to memorize several menus, as well as all the tables (the place is huge) and says Lisa is the most intimidating person in the world next to Beyoncé. I don’t think of either one of them as being intimidating.

Scheana is reliving her birthday party where James got drunk and acted ridiculous. James started chatting up some other girl and they left together in an Uber. Apparently, the car only went to James’s address, and the next morning, another Uber was called to go to the girl’s house at 6 am. The smoking gun Uber. In checking James’s email, Kristen found out.

Lala is already asking for time off because she’s an actress/model and doesn’t take the job seriously. Really. That’s pretty close to what she said.

Kristen is mad texting Scheana because the girl James left with is a friend of hers, so it’s her fault. Scheana says that when Kristen has problems, she takes them out on her friends. Why is she still friends with someone who’s saying she’s a bitch and her friend is a whore?

Jax has brought his new squeeze, Britney, for a job interview. Lisa asks her if she has a resumé, but she doesn’t have it with her since this was a spontaneous move. Katie tells Jax he needs to stop juggling women. He then asks Lala to some party and Katie says he takes out of sight out of mind to a whole new level. Lala is staying with Stassi on top of it. What’s wrong with him??? Lisa tells Britney she’ll think about it and to drop off a resumé. She says to her manager that this girl needs to put some “trousers” on the next time she comes for an interview. What she was wearing was comparable to Annabelle’s party outfit. Why didn’t Jax take her home to change and get a resumé?

Katie and Schwartz have a dog baby (Gordo) who’s having a birthday. They’re nine months into the six month old tomato she gave him (Schwartz, not the dog). He says the more she backs off, the more interested in following through he becomes. Sigh. So predictable. Katie talks about Kristen finding the Uber receipt. Ha-ha! Schwartz says it’s a waste for Kristen to date anyone not cheating on her since she has such great hacking skills.

Down to business. Kristen and James are sitting at a restaurant table and she tells him how embarrassing his behavior was at Scheana’s party. Kristen says that people call her crazy for checking boyfriend’s emals, but she always finds something. Maybe that says something about you, Kristen. James says nothing happened (another sigh). He asks if she’s ever cheated on him, she says she’s done and leaves. Kristen whines in her individual interview about how hurt she is. Please. After what she put that guy through last season, he deserves a hall pass, and I don’t say something like that lightly.

Katie, Schwartz, Ariana and Tom are out together and are discussing how they can’t take anybody seriously that Jax is dating. Ariana says he’s the SUR welcoming committee for anyone with boobies. The new girls join them, along with Britney and Jax. Interesting.  Jax has a foot fetish, slightly dirty please. He apparently Instagrams about this. Glad I’m not following him. Tom says Britney is on the Jax Express, and Jax says he is psyched about dating someone who is clueless about SUR and himself. Ariana says there’s something about Lala she doesn’t trust, and wonders why she was chosen to go to Venice when there are more than enough models around.

Kristen goes down Memory Lane, looking at pictures of her and James. James comes in, and he apologizes. She says he’s angry when he drinks, and he says he gets angry at her when he drinks, but he’s not sure why. I know why. Because she treated him like dirt and dated him while still stalking Tom and making his life miserable. James comes clean that he might have tried taking the other girl’s clothes off but nothing happened. In his individual interview, he says they totally had sex and he was lying to Kristen for her own good. His own good maybe. I know they’ve broken up by now, but didn’t he think she’d see this at the time? Kristen believes him and says he obviously wants to work on the relationship.

Tom and Ariana go furniture shopping. He wants some new amazing things to go with his new amazing girlfriend. I have to admit, they do seem to work well together. They both seem like decent people and it always boggles my mind that he was with Kristen for as long as he was. He says when buying a couch, it’s not about knowing your budget, but about knowing yourself. Whatever that means. I know myself well enough to know I’m not spending three grand on a couch. I guess they’ve never heard of Wayfair.

In pondering her friendship with Scheana, Ariana says sometimes the only requirement Scheana has for a friend is that they haven’t screwed her over in two months. Ariana says she’s not going to give any old tomatoes, but if Scheana is going to be friends with Kristen, she’s not going to be around as much. What kind of friend blames you for her boyfriend cheating and calls you a bitch? Providing you’re not the one he cheated with.

Jax pumps (no pun intended) Lisa for whether she’s going to hire Britney or not. Lisa is like, I want to see a resumé first. Lisa says she’s tired of Jax’s revolving girlfriend door where there’s weeks of “secret snogging behind the bar” and then he won’t return the girl’s phone calls and she’s left to pick up the pieces. I have some advice. Don’t hire Jax’s girlfriends and don’t get involved if you do. There. That’s done.

Commercial break. Lisa is introducing the new season of The Royals and we get a gratuitous Giggy moment.

Ariana and Scheana discuss the new girls, Lala and Faith. Ariana says that when you’re profile pic is your naked behind, modeling probably isn’t what you’re doing. It’s a great shot, but yep, it’s not exactly a Vogue shot. They grill Lala on her upcoming job. Ariana finally comes out and says she thinks Lala is lying and Lala admits she is. She says it’s a “fun” trip. They ask what she has to do for the trip. Whoa. Schaena says lying isn’t the way to make friends. I think Scheana is actually very good-hearted and I believe her when she says she didn’t like this girl coming in and lying to Lisa right off the bat.

Schaena bitches to Ariana about Kristen repeatedly texting her. She called Scheana a rude bitch because she didn’t know ahead of time that James was going to boink that girl. Kristen is more mental than Ed Grimley. Ariana runs down the Kristen crazy train list, which includes Kristen punching people at Scheana’s birthday party last season and creating a scene at her wedding. Scheana says she’s been friends with Kristen longer, but is closer to Ariana. I forgot to mention that, although good-hearted, I think Scheana doesn’t have a brain in her head. If anyone had put my close friend through what that nut did to Ariana last season, there’s no way I’d keep them in my life, no matter how long I’ve known them. If nothing else, you have to realize that at some point, you will be the target.

Yikes! The walls in Scheana’s apartment are covered with HUGE pictures from the wedding. Scheana says she’s had enough of the texting business and being called a bitch. Scheana says Kristen is the common denominator in all the problems and we flash back to every problem she’s caused at a party. Kristen can’t “wrap her head around” (ugh!) that it could possibly be her fault. Scheana says everyone is getting to the point where she can’t be friends with both them and Kristen. So then Kristen says it’s their fault. You know, because she could never, ever be the cause of any difficulties.

Next week looks good. Schwartz is ready to pop the question, and Shay walks out.

Après Ski

Just a quick note on this show. This group needs to take a lesson from Below Deck. If they want to provide a five star experience for the guest, they need to find out the guest’s needs ahead of time. Last week, they planned a surprise lunch in a gondola – not the kind like in Venice, but those things that go way up high on a cable – and one of the guests was not only vegan, but they were afraid of heights and had an anxiety attack. Obviously, the guests did not leave happy, but that could have been easily prevented. They also don’t seem to be able to retain the things they are told. Having it written down would make everything a million times easier. My two cents.

Nov7

November 6, 2015 – Almost Jason, Roswell & Some Returns

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

It’s almost time and I’m already feeling that let down you get when the party is over and the guests go home. I’ve watched this storyline like some men watch a football game.

Doc is referring Anna to another therapist.

Ava shows up at Paul’s office with a gift for him. A blah-blah-blah, whatever artist it was both he and Tracy were looking for the other night. I’m guessing he’s the big gun she’s going to switch for Scotty. Ric says pretty much nothing to Sonny.

Come on, let’s get to the wedding.

Felix is having to deal with the boys (I mean the real boys) and Epiphany comes to take over. That’s what she’s best at, taking over. Michael says to Sabrrrina he’s glad their baby will have both his parents. Right now Sabrrrina’s wishing she’d never slept with Carrrlos, and I’m hoping with the tiniest hope that he’s not dead. Could happen. Nicholas is looking for Hayden. Michael wonders why he brought such a despicable woman there. Like Nicholas is any better, since he stole Michael’s company.

Jason thinks Carly is out of her mind, but she’s so overwhelmed with feelings, that she’s not really explaining. He says he’s not Jason, and she says yes, he is, and she’s got proof. If that laptop is okay, I want to know what brand it is.

Elizabeth asks Hayden why she’s there. She plays around with Elizabeth a little, saying things like “you know why,” and then says she’s there to wish Elizabeth every happiness.

Patrick hadn’t known Sabrrrina was pregnant. Really? I guess he hasn’t seen her in a while. Patrick wishes her and Michael well. I’d forgotten they were engaged at one point.

Anna doesn’t want to switch shrinks, but Doc says objectivity is key here and Dr. Whatshisname is new. He’s also pretty good looking. It’s Dr. Andre. I thought it might be, but then I thought I misheard because I once had a medical Dr. Andre.

Ava tells Paul that the hearing was moved. Paul says If the governor was involved, he can’t get involved. There goes that idea. Ric says it would be better if Carly came to the hearing. Gee, he might have thought of that before, doncha think?

Carly shows Jake the laptop and shows him his face changing. Not only is the laptop okay, the program works perfectly. He says it’s unsettling, but it must be a glitch in the program. She says she has paperwork, and he gets it from the car. It’s the DNA test and it says right there, JAKE DOE IS JASON MORGAN. For some reason Jason doesn’t want to believe he’s Jason. He says to Carly that Jason is dead and she needs to let him go. He so desperately doesn’t want to be Jason, I would think he knew all along, but I can’t imagine he’d have allowed Spinelli to get involved if he didn’t really want an answer.

Anna tells Dr. Andre about Duke’s death. She tells him she saw a man she has reason to believe is dead, so it must have been a hallucination. She tells him she couldn’t sleep and Doc prescribed anxiety meds.

Nicolas switches places with Hayden in Elizabeth’s dressing room. Elizabeth asks Nicholas why he brought her, and he says he really didn’t want to come by himself. (Um…he could have brought Spencer. Obviously there are kids allowed.) They talk about what good friends they are and all they’ve been through and how many lies they’ve told. Okay, not that last one. He says they deserve some good times.  He says not she has the opportunity to be with NuJason (he actually says “new Jason”) and they hug. Blech. Let me at those rainbows and unicorns.

Hayden runs into Patrick. She tells him her memory seems to be coming back all on its own. Sam who was passing by and couldn’t help but hear, asks if that means Jake’s identity too. Hayden says you never know, and I rub my hands in glee.

Sonny gets Michael on the phone. He hasn’t seen Carly either. Michael decides to help Sonny out and foregoes the wedding. How long do they think the ceremony will take? He tells Sabrrrina to stay and have Carly call him when she gets there.

Carly lists all the similarities between Jake and Jason. She doesn’t understand why he’s fighting it. Jason is pissed because nothing seemed familiar. Carly says everything was familiar. Spinelli thinking it was him, Elizabeth latching on to him, even her own trust in him. (And how about that old lady from the Lucky Buddha or whatever that restaurant was? And Sonny?) Jason says she just feels that way because she loved Jason and lost him. He says his name is Jake (stop it, Jason!). He says if he was Jason, he’d remember and he doesn’t, so, nyah-nyah, he rejects the DNA test. Nice try.

Sonny asks for Morgan to testify too. Ric thinks he’s making a mistake with that one, and I’d like to make a smart remark, but I can barely pay attention. Ava says Paul agreed to help her and owes it to her. He says the only reason she isn’t rotting in prison is because of him. She’s going to leave with the painting, but he says hold on there a minute, and says he’ll give her the strategy to beat Sonny. The painting must be better than I think it is.

Anna tells Dr. Andre that she’s seeing Carrrlos. He asks why and she says isn’t he supposed to tell her that? He says it might have something to do with guilt. She doesn’t get why she’s supposed to feel guilty or at least that’s what she says to the doctor. She says some other nonsense about Duke’s death and loving him.

Carly tells Jason the last thing she thought was that they’d have a fight when she found him. He say did she think they’d go get a beer and relive old times? Carly says he’s been waiting a year for this info so what gives? He’s all la-la-la I refuse to believe it. She says he’s always been true to himself and that he must be scared of something.

Sonny says he’d kill anyone who hurt his children. That’s probably not a good thing to say at the hearing.

The natives are getting restless because Jake and Carly aren’t there. The kids were told that when Hear Comes the Bride plays, the wedding starts, so when that music from Ordinary People starts playing, they go get Elizabeth. She talks to Patrick and is all panicked because Jake isn’t there and she knows damn well he shouldn’t be. Sam texts him, Where are you?

Jason is still screaming at Carly that he’s not Jason. She brings up how he was working for Helena. He says he can’t be Jason because he doesn’t feel it. He says even looking at his face changing on the laptop, he feels nothing. She says DNA doesn’t lie. He says maybe it’s true; he can see it, but he doesn’t feel it. So what is he supposed to do now? Carly tells him he has to cancel the wedding. He’s still married to Sam. Oh boy! Oh boy!

Anna tells the doctor he’s been helpful and she’ll be going now. Not so fast, says Dr. Andre. He knows she’s lying and tells her to come back when she’s ready to be honest, but he’s not refilling her meds. She complains to Doc about Andre on her way out.

I don’t know what Paul told Ava, but she’s happy about it. He tells her that if she wasn’t being so emotional she could have thought of it on her own. He also tells her how beautiful she is. Ava says he can keep the painting and that if all goes well, she’ll have to find another way to repay him. He grabs her, dips and kisses her. As Anna peeks through the door. Shame on you, Anna!

Oddly enough, Carly’s phone has been abandoned at the accident scene, so the 50 people trying to call her get nowhere. Sabrrrina throws a red herring in by saying Carly might be at the courthouse. Epiphany decides to take the boys for ice cream with Felix. Oh, okay, while they’re waiting for the wedding to start? I would think Epiphany would know better than that. Elizabeth knows something is wrong and Carly ain’t at the courthouse. Sam says she just got a text from Jake. I doubt it says that he’s Jason.

He says he’s on his way. Elizabeth says she feels silly, that Jake probably did drop Carly off. Elizabeth is going to make an announcement about the delay, and I’m hoping Hayden has an announcement of her own. Just as Elizabeth says the groom is running late…

…Jason walks in with Carly.

Z Nation

We’re in Roswell. Two people are running down a road and one gets zapped and sliced in pieces by what looks like a beam from an alien spaceship.

Cut to Operation Bite Mark, traveling by Jeep. Something is watching them. They see a zombie chopped in several pieces, moving around (the victim of the spaceship?) and give it mercy. 10K talks about mutilated cattle and how he knows all about aliens from an uncle. Doc suggests he’s been smoking z-weed or needs to. Murphy says if there were aliens, they would have been repulsed by the human race a long time ago. Hey, that’s my theory. Some garbled dialogue comes through the radio and it sounds like, what else? Aliens. They see a Close Encounters type light in the distance that disappears.

Roberta talks about her father being an air force pilot and believing in aliens and he was a no nonsense kind of guy. Murphy isn’t having any, but Doc says that UFOs are more believable than someone flying a jet after the apocalypse. OBM finds a crash site down the road. It’s been there a while and Roberta says it probably crashed when everything went to hell in a hand basket. OBM picks off several zombies that come out of nowhere.

Cool! They drive up to a little fast food place that looks like a spaceship. A guy with a clipboard pops out and asks if they’re here for the visitors. He’s one of a group of “extronauts” who have been invited, not abducted. He says the aliens are coming to save them from the apocalypse, and they must be part of the chosen. He explains that the aliens communicate through one of their group, Bernadette, but they’ve all seen the lights.

He leads them to a small crowd out back. Bernadette emerges and says they’ve been waiting for the strangers to arrive, and among them is the one the aliens have been waiting for, an emissary. In case there’s any doubt, that would be Murphy.

OBM sits down for some food. A guy who introduces himself as Dan Scully, but reminds me of Max Headroom, sits down at their table. He says he was just passing through and these people are all crazy. He says what’s really going on is the aliens aren’t coming because they’re already here and are the ones who caused the zombie virus. Murphy says he’s crazy, and Dan says crazy stays alive. The look on Doc’s face says he agrees with that. Dan suggests they leave before the zombie aliens come back.

Dan leaves and Bernadette joins their table. She says the aliens prefer the term “visitors,” and I wonder if that’s an homage to V. Bernadette wants to take them to an abandoned air force base.

They drive to the base. Bernadette says that the zombies won’t bother her, but apparently they haven’t gotten the memo because OBM have to give mercy to several. Behind a hangar is a landing strip that Bernadette has prepared for the aliens. She tells OBM that the voices told her only to bring the emissary. Roberta asks how long she’s been in contact with them. We go back to the beginning where she was the one running on the road. They take a break in a small office and Bernadette keeps insisting that Doc get some gum from the vending machine. Both Addy and Roberta notice everything is nailed down or magnetized, and Bernadette has put on a seatbelt. As Doc pulls the knob for the gum, the building starts rocking like Dorothy’s house in Wizard of Oz and begins to descend. It’s an elevator.

After reaching the bottom, they follow one of the tunnels, finding something like a mini version of the alien from Alien. Murphy isn’t liking it and OBM shoots at it. 10K gets it in the head. They almost examine the body, but hear a sound like a bomb about to go off and take cover. The zombie alien explodes, and Doc says that he’s wearing paper jumpsuit during the next apocalypse. Everything does seem to be pretty messy.

They go into a room with some kind of interactive hologram thing. Addy knows the program and starts messing with it. Addy stays with the holograms and Doc, hoping to make contact with someone. The others go back to where the alien exploded. Murphy is wondering why everything is mostly in English. Addy says maybe this is based on our old internet. Addy then gets to pictures and info about Bernadette,  the members of OBM, and a whole lot about Murphy.

Bernadette and OBM follow some lights until they get to another zombie alien or alien zombie or whatever these things are. Bernadette is like they come in peace, but no, they don’t. And they’re hard to kill because it’s like they’re wearing armor. Oh thank you. One just grabbed Bernadette. I got tired of her  harping on how wonderful they were.

The others find some alien weapons, and 10K takes one after affirming it works by blowing off a zombie’s head. Roberta, Vasquez and 10K end up back at the runway. The entire city is lit up and Bernadette is in an alien beam. The spaceship comes flying around and puts a spotlight on Murphy. He starts to follow it. 10K shoots at the ship with the weird gun, but it shoots back and he drops the gun. Doc yells to Murphy not to go, that they’re going to probe him and not in a good way. Roberta picks up the gun and gets the saucer. It flies away, and Murphy comes out of his trance. The ship crashes and there are a lot of pretty colored explosions.

They all go to the crash site, and find an alien. They remove its helmet and it’s Dan Scully. This is like Scoobie Doo. You darn kids! Dan says there are no aliens and he was going to tell Bernadette the truth when she got on board. The others were test pilot zombies. He’d been recruited to salvage any technology there, but wanted to bring Bernadette back with him, dragging Murphy into the story just for fun. She’s like, why didn’t you just ask me? Too late, he dies and Roberta has to give him mercy. This was all a pretty complicated way just to get a date, but I have to hand it to him. He had us all going.

Bernadette and Roberta look at the sky, and Bernadette wonders how she’s going to tell the others. Roberta tells her she’ll be okay. She returns and says the aliens told her the human race isn’t ready yet and they need to wait longer. Way to learn a lesson about lying.

Next week, it looks like we’ll get to see Citizen Z again. I hope so. I miss him and Pup.

Master Chef Junior & Grimm

Master Chef Junior is back. It’s fun to see the kinder, gentler Gordon Ramsey. It’s a bit of a blow to the ego though that an 8 year old can cook better than I ever have or will in my finest hour. The judges do their best to make it fun for the kids. This season, it’s Gordon Ramsey, Graham Cracker Elliot and Christina Tosi. They started the kids off with making a burger, all of which were fabulous and made me hungry, and ended with a marshmallow dish. Marshmallows are difficult to cook with, and as sometimes happens, one of the kids cried when their dish didn’t come out as planned. I’d like to add that no matter what it looked like, Christina said it tasted good, and I have no doubt she was telling the truth. This kid wasn’t much older than I was when I decided to bake my father a birthday cake. That part actually went well, but I also decided to ice it when it was still hot. I ended up trying to hold it together with toothpicks. So, there you go, kid. You might have gotten cut tonight, but at least you didn’t have to hold your dessert together with toothpicks.

Grimm is also back, and no one told me. I don’t always pay total attention to this show, but it’s very clever and I love when the characters turn into stuff.

Nov6

November 5, 2015 — GH & Nothing But the GH

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

I don’t usually post on Thursday, but this was too good to wait.

General Hospital

Carly can hear Jason, but it’s questionable whether he can hear her. Oh good Lord, she just dropped the phone in a puddle.

Laura helps Nicholas get ready for the wedding, but no way is she going. She says her gift to Elizabeth is her absence so she won’t be tempted to tell Jason his life is a lie. “Isn’t that Juicy?” says Hayden as she walks in. Except Laura called Jason “Jake,” so Hayden doesn’t quite know what’s going on. Maybe.

Hayden said she knew something was off about Elizabeth and Jake/Jason as a couple. Nicholas says Laura is only disconcerted because Jake/Jason is missing his memory. Laura concurs, but her face says otherwise. Hayden lets slip that Jake and Sam broke in. After Hayden leaves, Laura tells Nicholas he left that out and obviously Jake/Jason wants to know who he is.

Dammit! Now Carly’s phone isn’t working. Sam and Jake/Jason chat and he tells her she’s lookin’ good. And she totally is in that blue dress. There seemed to be a spark between them for second.

I can’t take this. Carly gets the bars back on the phone and then trips over a rock. For the love of all that’s holy, just sit in one spot and make that call.

Ric meets with Sonny about the custody case. He says that courts often side with the mother, but he has something that will blindside Ava. Scotty is also meeting with Ava. All they seem to have is Julian as a character witness, which isn’t exactly a glowing recommendation. Ava tells him to go earn his money and find something that they can use. Frankly, if I was the judge, I’d take this kid away from both of them. Okay, I really wouldn’t. I’d give Avery to Ava.

Scotty tells Ava that she should try to compromise with Sonny, and co-parent. Ava says she doesn’t make deals with thugs. Um…Paul anyone? She also doesn’t want Carly playing mommy.

Ric has managed to get the case moved up to this afternoon because he had done some favors. This is a just a wee bit outside of my suspension of disbelief.

Jake/Jason is not liking what’s going on with Carly’s phone. Sam thinks it’s just the crappy phone, but Jake/Jason says no, he thinks it’s more than that. Sam has to agree that there’s something wrong, since Carly is supposed to be in the wedding party. They decide to tell Sonny.

Back at Elizabeth’s, they’re doing the something old, something new thing. She gets a gorgeous pair of blue shoes from Felix, and an amazing vintage purse for the something borrowed from Epiphany. It had been given to Epiphany by her grandmother for her own wedding, which hasn’t happened yet.

Laura tells Nicholas that she’ll be back before the wedding…if there is one. Nicholas says she promised not to say anything, and she says she’s honoring that promise, but she has something to do she should have done months ago. Have a proper send off for Luke? I’m still pretty ticked about that. Not even one flashback.

Ava busts in on Sonny and Ric. Sonny says she’s unfit to go anywhere near Avery. Ava says she’d die before giving Ava to him. He comes close to saying that can be arraged. Jake/Jason and Sam overhear this, and think maybe now is not the best time to interrupt. Jake/Jason decides to go looking for Carly himself.

Elizabeth better stop moving around so much. Her updo looks like it’s coming undone already. Nicholas tries calling her and leaves a message that she might be in for a surprise. Hayden walks in on that too, and Nicholas says he’s going to put a bell on her. Ha-ha! Nicholas is still concerned about Hayden going to the wedding, and she says he needs to start trusting her.

Laura shows up at Elizabeth’s. Elizabeth tries to blow her off, but Laura says it won’t take long. She tells Elizabeth that she knows Jake/Jason is still searching for his identity and Elizabeth needs to be the one to tell him. Laura says she thinks of her as a daughter and wants her to be happy, but no real happiness can ever be based on a lie. Elizabeth acts like the fool she is and says Laura is wrong, everything will be cool. Laura says she’s faced worse things, and that they seem to have a real connection, so she should trust him and tell him the truth. I swear, have I gone through all this just to have Elizabeth do the upset?

Today’s theme is trust. I’ve heard this word like 50 times now.

Sam has called the NSA to trace the last call from Carly. Jake/Jason says he wants to be the one to go, and he’ll be back in time.

Laura tells Elizabeth she needs to tell Jake/Jason the truth before someone else does. Elizabeth panics, thinking Laura means herself, but Laura says it won’t be her. Elizabeth is saved by Patrick showing up and everyone is ready to go. Laura says she has to babysit Spencer, and just stopped by to give well wishes.

Nicholas says if he didn’t trust Hayden, he wouldn’t be bringing her to the wedding. Hayden says maybe he wants to keep an eye on her. Or maybe he just likes her company. He says it’s a mystery. She says she hates mysteries, and always wants to know the end before she finishes the first chapter. She adds that she’s pretty sure she knows how this one is going to end. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Sonny tells Ava that by the end of the day, Avery is going to be with him, and Ava will be a stranger. He says the only one Avery is going to call “mommy” is Carly. This sets Ava off like a rocket. A couple of Sonny’s goons hold her back. Oh wait, it’s one goon and Scotty. Scotty hustles Ava out.

At this point, even if it all turns out to be a dream about a snowglobe named Rosebud, I’ll be okay with that. Just let it end.

Elizabeth and crew show up at the church. Everyone is whispering and I don’t know why because no one else is even there yet. Michael and Sabrrrina are there, but that’s the same as no one else. “Jake’s” absence is duly noted, but the groom wouldn’t be there that early anyway, so I don’t know why it was even mentioned.

Patrick and Sam are being mushy when Nicholas shows up with Hayden. Hayden says she’s going to go and sign the guestbook, leaving Patrick, Sam and Nicholas alone to insult each other. Hmm…if Hayden doesn’t remember if she likes weddings, how did she know there was a guest book to sign? I doubt Nicholas gave her a rundown of what goes on.

The wedding dress is everything. Elizabeth talks to herself in the mirror, and who walks in but Hayden, who says she’s remembering things. A huge grin spreads across my face.

The show is almost over, and I know they’re waiting for tomorrow to give us the big guns, but this is good, especially for a Thurzzzday.

Sonny and Ric say blah-blah-blah and nothing I’m interested in because I want to get back to the church. Ric is going to prep Sonny for court. Out in the hall, Scotty chastises Ava for acting crazy. She says no offense, but she needs someone who’s a match for Sonny. Good luck finding that by this afternoon, although that could be a year from now in Port Charles.

Laura calls Nicholas and asks if he’s seen Jake/Jason. Since it’s obvious that Elizabeth didn’t listen, Laura tells Nicholas it’s up to him to stop her. He’s like no way see you later. Why did she even bother with those two?

Elizabeth asks what Hayden is doing there. Hayden tells her she’s Nicholas’s plus one. Elizabeth gets nasty and tells her she should leave. Hayden says she wouldn’t miss this for the world. Me neither.

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!! Jake – who in a minute is going to be Jason – finds Carly. He says, “I found you.” Then she says, “I found you too – Jason.” I am thrilled beyond measure because I have no life.

From the previews, it looks like Jason isn’t going to believe Carly at first, but who cares? The words have been spoken and it’s done. Hayden also reaffirms that her memory is coming back. So it looks like Carly gets to tell Jason who he is and Hayden gets to give Elizabeth her comeuppance. Poor Laura. She kind of got left out of this one.

I’m letting it all sink in.

Nov5

November 4, 2015 — Wrong Loving, GH & Twice the LA

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

If Loving You Is Wrong — Tuesday

Brad visits Alex in the hospital. The nurse says what a fine, strapping boy the baby is, which helps nothing. Brad brought the baby name box so they can name the baby. God only knows what kind of names he put in there. I’m not even going there.

Brad went there, but he didn’t hit quite as low as I thought he would. He makes her pick one and read it. It says “bastard.” No offense, but that’s a wee bit archaic. Although Brad is kind of archaic. Brad picks one. It’s “son of a bitch,” which he says is even better. He wants to continue to play this game and I don’t know why she doesn’t ring for the nurse. The next one is Randal, and Brad says he’s coming every day until they name the baby, even though he seemed pretty happy with that last one.

He asks if she got his text. She says she saw the pic of the shed. He says it was a video, and he pulls it up on his phone faster than I’ve ever seen anyone get a video going.

Lushion says Pete isn’t ready to be his partner. Pete asks if he needs to prove himself and Lushion says, no, just put some more time in. Pete brings up the tape, and Lushion says that he needs to make the boss think it’s his idea and to quit talking about it. Ben is listening in.

Natalie shames Faun and Joey some more. When she asks if they’re in love, Faun says yes and Joey says no. Ouch! Faun tries to backtrack, but Natalie is too wise for that. She says she got pregnant the same way. Not on a burger place counter, but as a teenager who thought she was in love. Faun is like, can I please go? and Natalie suggests she get the morning after pill. Joey says it was only one time like once isn’t enough.

Randal (the real Randal) gets home from work, and Mama Louise asks if he’s been avoiding her. Um, no, he had to go to work. He tries to make excuses for his own stupid behavior, and to her credit, Louise is having none of it and says she’ll slap him silly if he tries that again. She wants him to admit how wrong he was, and he’s having a really tough time with that. Marcie is listening on the steps, and she looks great for someone who’s been drinking and crying for days. Louise tells Randal that she’s never been that crazy about Marcie, but Marcie’s got an ally now. Randal tries to blame Marcie. Oooh, he says Brad and Marcie “slept with” each other and Louise says “they weren’t sleepin’.” She says he reaped what he sowed by Brad and Marcie doing it in the shed. Whoa. Now she says she wishes she’d had the guts to do the same thing to Randal’s father and make him watch. She says he’s disgusting and she taught him better. She tells him to get it together and goes back to plumping the pillows. Wow. Hang on to this mother…in-law. Now it’s Randal who asks how long she’ll be staying. Hahahahaha! Great scene! Tyler Perry is the best at this stuff.

Travis calls Kelly and she tells him to get lost. There’s a knock at the door and she’s ready to tell him off, but it’s Ramsey. Who’s better looking and seems to have a normal IQ. He says he’s not doing well dealing with his mother’s death. He tells Kelly what a great person she was and that he wishes Kelly had known her. He asks if Travis is her baby daddy and she says no. He says he’s going to sell the house and she suggests Marcie as a realtor, but adds to call first before he goes over there. <snort!>

Ramsey says he never knew his father. He says there’s nothing like that mother/son thing. I’ll take his word for it. He gives her his number to give to Marcie and a hug good-by

Eddie is lurking outside of the minimart where he’s sent Ben to find out about the tape. They figure Pete took it and Eddie tells Ben to toss Pete’s desk. Yeah, that’s where I’d be keeping it. In my desk right where these guys can get it.

Esperanza calls Kelly, and after a lot of girl, oh girl, stuff, Marcie tells her she has the hots for Ramsey. Thought so. And it’s about time she shook that weirdo Travis. Although I do want to find out what’s up with him and his mother.

Oh come on. Pete is dubbing the tape onto a DVD at work. Maybe he is stupid. Esperanza asks what’s up and Pete says he’s working on a case. Esperanza says don’t let the boss catch him, because if it was really a case, they wouldn’t have given it to him. Ben pops up and Esperanza says Pete is working on something top secret. She’s joking around, but I’m sure that made Ben sweat a little. Ben asks Pete out for a beer, and Pete is like, no way, you’re not bullying me into a beer this time.

The doctor doesn’t think Eddie should go back to work. Eddie says that every day he’s not on the street, the doctor leaves his wife and daughter open to being raped. I’m sure this is a veiled threat and the doctor is more than happy to let him go. As he’s leaving, Eddie sees Alex. An old lady in a wheelchair is nearby, and Eddie takes some flowers right out of her hands to give Alex. This is pretty funny, especially the look on the lady’s face. Alex is nursing the baby and Eddie comes in with the flowers. She does not want him there. He says they’re cousins and she says they’re nothing and to get out. He sees the baby’s toes and gets loud and freaky. I guess he didn’t know the baby is Randal’s.

Next week, Eddie confronts Brad about the baby’s parentage, and throws Pete up against a locker. And Randal throws a fit. Nothing new there.

General Hospital

Elizabeth, who I hate with a passion, wakes up to a red rose and sweet letter from Jason, who wants her to make chocolate chip pancakes and marry him today. Because it’s November 6, the day after Halloween. I know I keep harping on this, but where is the consistency here?

Lulu is cleaning up The Haunted Star, when Olivia comes in and says it looks like a bomb went off. Lulu says the only thing that exploded was her marriage.

Kiki wakes up from her drunken, destructive night and Morgan Is there. I guess she doesn’t even realize she caused an accident, because we see Carly unconscious in her car. A friend of mine said she’d better hobble to that wedding and tell everyone about Jason, and I agree.

Jake has a surprise for Elizabeth. Ha! So does someone else – eventually. Jake says he’s going to cook the breakfast. (So what was up with that note?) He slept on the couch last night to bring them good luck. He says everything is going to be perfect today and I LOL.

Michael, in Sonny’s social center hospital room, has been trying to get ahold of Carly, but he’s getting voice mail. Sabrrrina is there, but says she has to jet to help out the bride. Michael tells Sonny that he asked her to marry him, but she turned him down.

Morgan is being uncharacteristically gallant and nursing Kiki’s hangover. He asks if she remembers anything and she says no. Franco comes in and asks Morgan what he did to Kiki.

The ever-present, unwanted Valerie, comes to Dante and Lulu’s apartment looking for Lulu. That will be just great if Lulu decides to come back and finds her there. She tells Dante that Dillon played the DVD on purpose, but it’s really her fault because she should have kept her mouth shut. That’s right, you homewrecker.

Lulu tells Olivia that she should talk to Dante to get the story, but then tells her that Dante cheated on her with Valerie. Olivia is aghast and asks what happens now. My vote is for her to divorce that cretin. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Olivia says she knows Dante loves Lulu with all his heart. Lulu is like, I don’t think so. This probably isn’t what she needs to hear right now. Olivia says it’s probably a bad time to act on her feelings. Lulu says that Dante’s plan was to have her, Rocco and the new baby, and Valerie on the side. Okay, I don’t know about that, and we’ve seen what jumping to conclusions does.

Epiphany shows up at Elizabeth’s house with the bridesmaids, while Carly is screwing with her seatbelt. She can’t get it undone and yells for help.

Sonny can’t figure out how on earth Sabrrrina wouldn’t want to marry such a perfect male specimen as Michael and says it must be because of him.

Franco goes off on Morgan, who for once is only doing the right thing. He says Morgan better be gone by the time he gets back. Kiki obviously doesn’t remember a thing, but says she will eventually. Morgan says it can’t wait. I guess he must know she had an accident, but neglected to check around to see if there was another car involved.  Honestly, I’m too old for this; my heart can’t take it. My mind wanders during the commercial break and I wonder if Spinelli has a warranty on that laptop.

Morgan asks Kiki what the last thing is that she remembers. She tells him that she was at The Haunted Star and throws shade at Darby. Morgan tells her they argued, she left, he went looking for her and found her passed out in her car. He says there’s more and Franco comes back saying some idiot sideswiped his car.

Carly, still stuck in her seatbelt, is trying to reach her phone which is thismuch out of reach.

Jake gets the message from Carly. It’s obvious it’s important he call her back. The girls are all about the wedding, and Elizabeth says how lucky they are. Oh, Epiphany is talking about her gorgeous boyfriend, Milo, so could we have some storyline for her please? Blah-blah-blah about what a great guy Jake/Jason is for marrying someone with three kids.

Michael tells Sonny it has nothing to do with him, and that if anyone put a wrench in things, it might have been Carly. Sonny says he’ll work on Carly, and Michael should work on Sabrrrina. Olivia comes busting in with the news about Dante.

Valerie says she should withdraw from the police academy because she broke the rules. You’re right. And please move to Outer Mongolia where you’re at it. Dante says it’s his fault and puts his hand on Valerie’s shoulder. Of course Lulu picks that moment to come in. What did I say? I make several loud noises and once again startle my dogs who have no concept of soap operas and the angst they can create. Lulu made a great face though. I swear, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, this is so good, and I love this show so much right now. It’s like everything good in a soap coming together at once. I will say, although I was getting impatient, they knew what they were doing. Except for that November 6 thing.

Michael wants to know what Dante had to say for himself. Olivia says she only talked to Lulu, but it was a very public revelation. Sonny says Dante was supposed to talk to Lulu, and Olivia is like what?!

Lulu says if she wants to talk about her husband, it won’t be with his whore. HA! Oh Lord, Valerie says something about Lulu’s responsibility and that it’s her fault it was all set in motion, and that she needs to recognize her culpability. She needs to leave now. Dante even tells her she needs to leave now. Valerie says what’s more important, her pride or her family? When she leaves, Dante says they were both waiting for Lulu, and that he hates himself for what he did. He says he doesn’t know what’s going to happen with them, and Lulu says neither does she. He wants to sit around and talk about it, but she says it doesn’t seem like her home anymore, it seems like a crime scene.

Franco is going on about his car and I can’t believe he doesn’t have a clue that Kiki might have been driving it. He’s off to call someone, and Kiki asks if she’s the one who wrecked the car. Morgan tells her yes, and she needs to fess up. He says she’s lucky he found her since she had an open bottle of liquor with her, and adds it’s lucky she didn’t hit somebody. She remembers the moment just before the accident.

Carly’s phone is ringing and I make more noises. Oh, now she remembers there are scissors in the glove box. Jake leaves a message and hangs up. She finally gets the phone. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALL HIM BACK NOW!

Commercial break. These kids are eating baked beans and say mom forgot to give them vegetables. Please don’t tell me, that in the age of Google and Bing, that kids don’t know a bean is a vegetable. Please. Toddlers know what a freakin’ bean is.

Olivia says Sonny gave Dante bad advice by telling him he should tell Lulu. What? She says everyone would have been better off if no one had known.  Well yeah, but too many people knew already, so that suggestion is no help whatsoever.

Dante offers to leave, but Lulu says she doesn’t want to stay there. She shoves the wedding invitation at him and says he should go because she doesn’t believe in marriage anymore.

Epiphany is having a game smack down with the kids while everyone gets ready. Felix says she’s doing God’s work, and she tells him don’t forget it when he ties the knot. She doesn’t want to be passed over again for maid of honor, adding, and by Patrick no less. I love her and wish she was on the show more.

Michael and Jake/Jason wonder where Carly is, and come to the stupid conclusion she’s off getting her hair done.

Morgan tells Kiki that crawling into a bottle isn’t the answer. He tells her to get some rest. Is no one going to check the accident site??? Kiki again remembers yelling something at the other driver, but says it’s fuzzy. It’s not that fuzzy. Say something, dammit! Franco goes off on Morgan again and says he doesn’t need to be easing his conscience there. Man, normally I’d agree, but not today.

They’re going to string this out until Friday, aren’t they? Heaving huge sigh. This is just stressful.

Valerie goes back to The Haunted Star looking for Dillon and has a reverie about her and Dante. She starts crying and I couldn’t care less.

There’s a song part (bleh) and montage where Sonny is texting Dante, Lulu is packing her and Rocco’s stuff, Dante is looking pitiful, Kiki is having donuts with Franco, and Carly is trying to call Jake/Jason back.

We end with Jake/Jason picking up the phone and saying, “Carly?”

From tomorrow’s preview, it looks like they’ll be focusing on other characters and slam this thing home on Friday. November 6. The day after Halloween.

Little Women LA – Reunnion Part 2

When we left the women, Michaela has entered the fray. The moderator asks what’s up with the nude pics that Matt sent to her. We flash back to when Terra outed him last season for sexting another women, and Briana insisted that she knew already. Michaela is a married woman and says she was separated at the time. She claims her conscience was bothering her and that’s why she sent the pics to Briana and the other ladies. I believe it if you believe it.

Michaela says she thinks Matt has a fetish issue. Terra says he hit on her first and Matt gets a little nasty. Terra says that Briana had a lot of complaints about Matt’s treatment of her, but Briana now insists that’s not so, she was only mad after a fight.

The moderator asks Matt to set at rest what he does for a living, if anything. He says he saved kids for 9 years, but I don’t know what that means, and he was also a bouncer for what sounds like a pretty dicey place.

Michaela says Briana deserves better. She goes on about Matt having Black and little people fetishes. Matt goes off that his ex-wife and children, and Briana are not fetishes. Exit Michaela.

We flash back to Terra having her baby, Penny, and also clips that show she “hasn’t lost her spunk.” Britney says she’s two different people and not in a good way. She says that Terra feels that she’s the star of the show and wants to be one everywhere. Britney says that Terra likes to start stuff and acts like she’s never wrong. Terra says she has admitted she was wrong and had apologized to Briana for something I can’t remember.

The moderator asks Briana if it’s been a challenge (translation: pita) having a relationship with Matt when her family hasn’t been supportive. She had some kind of get together where her parents didn’t show because she’d only known him a short time, and what was the point. Wow. Briana’s sister joins the group.

Briana’s sister feels like Matt has encouraged Briana to distance herself from the family and that she’s lowered her standards. She says at this point, her parents are willing to meet Matt. Matt says he’s never asked her to not be with her family. The moderator asks if everyone is ready to accept Matt and Tonya said she did when Briana said she was married.

Terra asks if they’re thinking of having children. Since they’re only using the withdrawal method for birth control, I’d say they’re not preventing it. When the moderator asks Briana’s sister if she thinks they should have children, you can hear a pin drop. Jasmine says who cares, Matt gives her a high five and bye-bye Briana’s sister.

The focus goes next to Terra and Christy’s tumultuous friendship. Christy and Terra talk about each other’s lifestyle changes. The moderator asks for Briana’s opinion and she says that she and Christy drifted away from each other. Christy says something about Briana not liking that she and Terra are friends again, but Briana says that’s not the case. We go back to Briana lying about being married. Tonya says that when you hide something, it means you’re unsure of it yourself. Elena, who’s been pretty quiet, says that it was obvious no one liked Matt, so that’s why Briana chose to keep her marriage to herself. I tend to think she didn’t want to get flack from everyone, or it’s possible she thought they’d talk her out of it. Christy says she was hurt that Briana even discussed what kind of wedding she wanted when she was already married.

Now the men join in. We go down Elena’s Memory Lane about her vow renewal ceremony, which was more like the wedding she never had, and how Briana spoiled It a little with her marriage announcement at the bachelorette weekend, taking the attention away from Elena. Elena says that when she watched the episode, she could see that Briana was upset about the vow renewal. Elena asks why she didn’t wait if she wanted all the pomp and circumstance. Briana says she didn’t mean to steal any thunder and Terra’s husband Joe makes blah-blah-blah hand gestures.

On to reliving the couple’s retreat, although why we want to, I don’t know. The moderator asks how the guys feel about Matt calling their ladies “bitches.” Since they’ve shown this clip before every commercial break, I feel like this question has been asked 10 times already. Christy says it’s a misogynist word and I don’t totally get that, since it’s thrown around everywhere these days. I also don’t see why if someone is being called names, they’re not allowed to retaliate, male or female.

The moderator asks for a final opinion from the guys, and everyone is vague except Joe who says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care.

Elena says she learned that her family and friends are more important than circumstances being perfect; Tonya says she learned to be open to new friendships; Jasmine says she needs to be careful who she gets close to, since they’re all so nosey; Briana says she learned not to lie and that the most important thing is sticking by each other in the end; Terra says it’s her first time on the show as a mother, and maybe she shouldn’t be so blunt.

They have a sneak peek of Little Women Atlanta and I wonder what happened to the NYC girls. Atlanta seems like the same show, except feistier with fewer blondes.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

JoshA is checking out a property that, besides the required amazing view, has all kinds of cool built-in lighting. As usual, there’s the argument about the price. The builder/owner wants to go higher than Josh thinks will work. The owner sees the wisdom in what Josh has to say. He’s leaving for Moscow and wants Josh to be his eyes and ears, and be able to call him 24/7, to which Josh agrees.

David is showing James a place that he originally was having built as an investment property, but he and his girlfriend, Adrienne, now want to call it home. It has 23 foot ceilings and is pretty incredible overall. James thinks he should stick to the original plan and sell it. Zoning laws have changed, and this kind of house can no longer be built and is at a premium. I say why not wait. The resale should still be good 10 years from now because there will never be any others built. David says he and Adrienne are emotionally attached to it.

JoshF has a client who wants to downsize. Amazingly, they agree on a price. But she’s not ready to sell it yet. She wants to find a new house first, which I can understand. She gives Josh a laundry list of what she wants in a house, as well as her price range. She says if he finds her the right house, he’s got a sale. It’s both or nothing.

James is meeting with a New York based client. He’s renovating his house and it looks like a movie star house from the 60s. Did James just say $60 million? Yes, he did. The client isn’t interested in selling though, he’s looking to buy commercial space on Sunset. Apparently, this is nearly impossible. He’s looking to spend a load of money too and these brokers will do anything for a sale.

JoshA says the client has been calling him non-stop and the house isn’t even on the market yet. For the brokers’ open house, Josh has brought in models to create living art, scenarios that show how the house can be lived in. There’s everything from a couple in bed (hush and get your mind out of the gutter) to a group doing yoga poses in the backyard. One guy isn’t crazy about the kitchen appliances, but I am.

Madison, from another season, and his client walk in. He and JoshA don’t exactly get along. Both Josh and his fiancé once worked for him. When Josh left to go on his own, Heather stayed behind and Josh says Madison didn’t give her the commissions he was supposed to. Josh thanks Madison because he says if Madison hadn’t ripped Heather off, he wouldn’t have gotten the girl.

Madison said they’re a couple of liars, so they’re perfect for each other. Madison explains something about her contract that I fail to understand. They move on to discussing the house. The client makes an offer to Josh that’s about half a million too low.

JoshF says what his client is looking for is difficult because her list is so long, but he’s riding his unicorn around trying to find it. He’s sending her a bunch of listings so she can get a feel for what’s out there.

James and David are having a double-date. James’s wife asks how the house plans are going and James asks if they’d sell if the price was right. David’s girlfriend says they’re moving in six weeks. James is looking toward the future for them, but Adrienne is like no way, I’m in love with that house. Meh. I’d take the money.

Oooh! David has 2 basset hounds, but also a teeny weeny Chihuahua. I don’t remember him having a Chi. Maybe it belongs to the girlfriend.

JoshA shows his client a house with floor to ceiling windows and a gourmet kitchen and a lot of other things I could only dream about. It’s another house that’s right on the water. The tide comes right up to the patio. She says the neighbors are a little close (they are), and she wants a “dry beach.” Josh says she’ll have to pay for a dry beach. In his individual interview, Josh says he wishes he’d known she wanted a dry beach it would have been nice to know that in the beginning (I agree).

JoshA and Heather are hanging out with their two cute, little, but not Chi, dogs, eating crackers and hummus. Josh tells Heather about Madison and his client. Heather says she’s moved on. Josh seems like he hasn’t, but says a bunch of mature stuff. I’m guessing that Josh and Madison will be arguing soon.

James says he has called every owner on Sunset and he can’t find a property. He decides to take the client to an up and coming area and force him to look. James tells him he’s called 30 owners and no one will sell. The client does not care about any of this. It’s Sunset or no. So James takes him to another place. The client won’t even get out of the car. So James takes him to a third location. The client says it’s great for something else, but not what his specific project is. He says he has a month and if James can’t show him something appropriate, not to show him anything. He also makes noises about bringing in another broker.

JoshA decides there are people in LA that he’d rather have as friends than enemies. He asks James to meet him for dinner. In an earlier episode, Josh created quite a stink at an open house James was having, so James balks. Josh apologizes for his behavior. James practically falls out of his chair.

Next week, Larry Flynt. And it looks like JoshA’s client is going to bring James in as a broker.

Nov4

November 3, 2015 — Still Halloween in PC, Yachting 101 & Quote(s) of the Week

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

We begin with Kiki stating the obvious, that Morgan and Darby were off having sex. Valerie doesn’t believe that even Andy is stupid enough to have made the mistake of switching reels, and says Dillon must have done it on purpose. Maxie freaks on Nathan because he knew all along. He says it’s because she would have told Lulu, and we both say, “Well, yeah.”

Dante chases after Lulu, who wants nothing to do with him right now, and I scream at the TV, “Give her the space she needs, you !@#$% %^&()@!!!” alarming my dogs.

Carly has a deal with the lab guy – she has given him a “discreet” room when he’s needed it (I don’t want to know) and he’s going to do a discreet DNA test for her. Please, let this be over with soon.

Poor Lulu! She says she was going to start the hormone treatments tomorrow. Dante still wants to go ahead with it, but she’s like, wait a second, you tried to talk me out of it. Why?

Valerie totally goes off on Dillon.

Kiki tells Morgan that since she doesn’t want him, why not grab the next available thing? (Like Jax. Just move one down on your contacts list.) Darby says they should either get back together or “hit the kill switch,” because neither of them are able to handle the in-between.

The lab guy says he can have the test done quicker than anyone, but he needs Jason’s DNA for comparison.  Carly tells him it should be in the crime database. Come on already.

Sam is whining to Patrick about not having the facial reconstruction finished. Isn’t she wondering where the laptop is? Patrick says both “Jake” and Elizabeth seem happy with how things are, so maybe they should just leave it alone. He says something about a knock at the door, and guess what? Yep, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Emma who has had a nightmare.

“Jake” – you know, forget it, I’m going to start calling him Jason since no one else will. Jason asks Elizabeth if she wants to postpone the wedding, but she says no. They make out on the bridge, but all of a sudden, Jason realizes he’s been there before. And with her.

Morgan says it’s over, and Kiki asks how she’s supposed to react when they cross paths. She says she thought they were starting over, but then he decided to sleep with her mother again (thinking it was her Aunt Denise, but still) and he broke her heart. He replies with a bunch of stupid remarks. He’s such a jerk, even as a drunk she can do better.

Maxie is pretty pissed about Nathan keeping the secret from her. She says they could have tried to convince Dante to come clean and fix it together, but instead he chose Dante over her. Good point.

Valerie acts like it’s all Dillon’s fault that she slept with Dante. She says that he was afraid to tell Lulu himself because she might hate him for it. So he chose another way. He says she’s right. D’oh!

Lulu says she feels like an idiot for having made a big deal over what she thought was just one kiss, and Dante lied to her face when she questioned him. He says he didn’t want their marriage to be defined by one night that he made a bad decision. Lulu really isn’t having it. She says she hopes Valerie was better than her in bed and that it was worth it. He says blah-blah-blah about how he’d thought their marriage was over. Lulu and I both say, so you slept with Valerie instead of saying something?

Jason wants Elizabeth to kiss him again, so he can get the remembering vibe back. I can’t say I’ve ever heard that excuse before.

Nathan says Maxie should understand about keeping a secret for the greater good. She says, oh yeah, like when she kept the Spinelli baby secret and it worked out so well. Not.

Lulu is putting all kinds of two and twos together. Ugh! She says she thought they were closer when all the time, Valerie was taking up space in their bed. He tries again to explain what he thought about her and Dillon, but it’s not working.

Valerie is appalled that Dillon put Lulu in the position of finding out publicly. He says that Valerie wanted Lulu and Dante’s marriage to implode too, but she says no. I don’t know if I believe that, but I agree with her about the public thing.

Morgan asks Kiki to explain how her drinking to deal with things is any better than his sleeping around. Well, for one, no one ever got pregnant from a martini.

HE SAID IT! THE LAB GUY SAID IT! JAKE DOE AND JASON ARE THE SAME PERSON! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Maxie says that Lulu and Dante had the perfect marriage, and inspired her when she wasn’t being jealous of them.

Dante is making no freaking sense, and now tries to turn the tables. That’s seriously not going to work. She talks about him changing the sheets the morning she got home. She says they’ve been living in two totally different worlds. He knew the truth and she didn’t, and they lived accordingly. This is just heart-breaking. He says he thought he could find a way to be the man she deserved. I’m not sure why he thought lying was the way to do that. I don’t think Lulu is too happy with Dillon either.

Valerie tells Dillon that Lulu is going to hate him forever.

Morgan tells Kiki he’ll drive her home, and she suggests he drive Darby home. Darby comes out with some snacks and starts wolfing down burgers, which is totally appropriate.

It would be something if Jason actually ends up outing himself. He’s still pondering on the bridge. Elizabeth tells him he’s just having déjà vu. That everyone gets it and it’s just one of life’s mysteries.

The lab guy is going home. Carly calls Jason and gets voice mail. Why doesn’t anyone ever answer their phone? This is important! Of course she just says to call her back. I swear, nothing had better happen to her before she’s able to spill the Jason beans.

Dante says he made a promise to Sonny that he’d tell her everything. Lulu realizes that Nathan knew, and that Maxie didn’t because Maxie would have told her. Lulu breaks down crying and I want to cry too.

Dillon gets left by himself when Valerie, Nathan and Maxie basically tell him he’s a jerk and leave.

NOOOOO! I see it coming. I don’t want to look. And I hate Elizabeth with every fiber of my being.

Kiki is driving drunk and Carly is driving distracted, caught up in remembering the various times she talked to nuJason. You know the rest. I can’t even type it.

Maxie goes to Lulu. Dillon tells Valerie he did them all a favor and she’ll thank him later. Probably not.

Jason suggests that he and Elizabeth continue their make out session in bed at home. Elizabeth says it would be bad luck before the wedding and I wish her all the bad luck in the world.

You know how it ends. I can’t. I just can’t.

Below Deck

Last week, we (finally) said, “Bye, Felicia!” to Chef Leon. Chef Ben is back and I couldn’t be happier. Leon is even gone from the credits. Good. Go. Good-by. Go back to your K-Mart cruise line job.

Ben is checking out the pantry and he says it’s like a biohazard. He does a Gordon Ramsey and cleans the whole place. Amy says there’s some more than friends stuff going on between Ben and Kate.

Dave comes through the revolving deckhand door. He was on the first season and Boson Eddie is glad to see him back. I actually don’t remember much about him.

Rocky says Eddie is sending her mixed signals. No he’s not. He’s just sending the “go away” signal. She’s one of the most clueless people I’ve ever seen, and can’t seem to get why he’s not interested any more when she acted like a psychotic toddler in the last episode.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Cynthia Bailey, is the primary guest. It’s going to be her birthday the first night. I’ve never really felt one way or the other about her, but her husband (who thankfully won’t be on the charter) thinks he’s one of the women on that show and likes to mix it up with them. Claudia from RHOA is also coming along. I liked her a lot and am sorry she’s not going to be on the show any more. Not to get off topic, but I heard Nene will be back. That was fast. Guess she isn’t the star she thought she was and she’s sticking to being a big rich bitch fish in a little pond. I was really not thrilled with her antics last season – for goodness’ sake, she made Kenya look like Mother Teresa – and I’m kind of sorry Bravo didn’t give her a time out and tell her to think about what she did.

The wind is howling, and there is no choice but to wait it out at the dock. Cynthia says she doesn’t want to be a diva, but wonders if they might have a birthday cake “laying around.” The place is already decorated, and Amy says that yachting 101 tells you to give the guests what they want before they know they want it.

Ben says Rocky is actually culinary trained (really?) and asks her to trim the muffin tops. What he means is to trim the excess around the edges, and she actually takes the top off. The best part of the muffin. The joke in our house is that my husband didn’t marry me for my cooking in the kitchen, but even I knew what he was saying. Lord, she is such a moron.

The ladies ask for Emile to feed them strawberries in a tank top and jeans. Huh? Yeah, that’s always been my fantasy too, said no one ever.  More guests arrive. I think it’s a little creepy that they just requested it to see if he would do it. Now get down on all fours and bark like a dog.

Dave is amused that Cynthia’s daughter (I think it is; she’s a teenager) is infatuated with Emile. Why? He acts like he’s 14, so that’s about right. One guest asks for chocolate Pop Tarts. Yeah, that’s what I always crave when gourmet food and a chef is available. Cynthia examines the storage area in her bathrobe and mistakes the crew’s quarters for closets. I guess they’re being down-to-earth, but I’d be pissed at someone getting in my bed and checking it out.

The guests filled up on the appetizers, and decide they’ll have the birthday dinner on the morrow. Ben isn’t happy, but he rolls with it. Unlike how Leon would have been.

Rocky eavesdrops on Eddie talking about her idiocy. Then says that thing I hate, that she “has feelings for” him. Well, I “have feelings for” her too, but I don’t think they’re the same ones she has for Eddie.

Commercial break. Ha-ha! I love the ad for Kraft Mac & Cheese where the guy is a collector and his kid wonders why he doesn’t take his toys out of the boxes or eat the Star Wars macaroni and cheese. I collect Barbies, and a child I once babysat for asked me why I didn’t take them out of the boxes and play with them. I told her “resale value,” and she looked at me like I had two heads. Like the kid in the commercial, I’m sure she thought it was a “room of lies.”

Rocky is complaining to Emile because she needs someone to be supportive. Oh, you mean the guy who you gave mixed signals to? Eddie says she was supposed to keep their trysts between them and obviously she’s not. Rocky tries to pry into Kate and Ben’s business. They both say that they’re friends who have had benefits, but they’re too much alike to have a relationship. Amy thinks they’re lying to themselves.

Everyone is drinking at 10 am. That’s too early for me, even on vacation. Then we’re on to the jet skis, which always mix well with alcohol. I would be swimming all the time if I went on one of these trips. They go to shore for lunch, and Emile comes along. They keep asking him his opinion about tchotchkes in the gift shop and it’s obvious he couldn’t care less.

The ladies want Southern comfort food for dinner (meaning food from the South, not the liquor) and I’m getting hungry. Cynthia takes a bunch of photos of herself in the wheelhouse, and Captain Lee does a few poses with the ladies. He says some guest requests are better than others. The guests would also like a cat, so Connie dresses up like one. I guess these people are having fun, but that just seems weird.

Kate and Ben are arguing about something insignificant, and Amy thinks they should just “go downstairs and take care of it,” meaning the sexual tension between them. Claudia says it’s like an “upscale barbeque,” and I concur. Ben visits the table and gets lots of compliments, and told he’s going to make them fat from the food they requested. Ben makes a gorgeous cake, even though it’s not chocolate. To me, if it’s not chocolate, it’s not worth it.

Eddie says his one mistake doesn’t define him, and is on the phone trying to make up with his girlfriend. They’ve had a lot of ups and downs with the long distance thing.

Teenage Girl says all the food is the best she’s ever had. This seems like it was a relatively easy-going charter. Amy says the only diva moments and drama only came from Kate and Ben. Although I really don’t think they behaved that badly.

Tip time! It’s 15 large, and everyone is happy. Especially Dave who says he’s missed the cash tips.

Ben says he doesn’t want fear from Rocky, but respect. He apologizes about being annoyed over the muffin tops. That’s nice, but seriously, a monkey would have known better. The crew goes out to dinner on shore. Connie says that Rocky is good at being a mermaid, but other than that, she’s annoying. And she’s being pretty annoying right now, being really loud with explaining drinks with dirty names.

When they get back to the boat, Eddie brushes her off. She says that even if he doesn’t want to be with her, he should at least respect her. No comment.

Next week, Rocky says she’s going crazy (I think she got there a while ago) and spills it to everyone about her and Eddie. Emile looks like he doesn’t react too well. Because he’s 14.

The People’s Couch Quote of the Week

Again, a toss-up.

Leah Remini doesn’t need a costume. She already survived the Scientology horror movie. — Scott while watching Dancing with the Stars, the Halloween episode.

She’s Crocodile Dundee’s daughter. — One of the Resnick girls, referring to Bindi Irwin on DWTS.

Stay tuned for If Loving You is Wrong with tomorrow’s post.

Nov3

November 2, 2015 — Big Reveals, London in Denmark & Back at SUR

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

“Jake” tells Sam that a year ago he had no family, no identity, no nothing, and tomorrow he’s getting them all. You know, November 6, the day after Halloween.

Patrick thinks Elizabeth is getting cold feet. She says Audrey’s letter just made her emotional, but he says if she really feels she shouldn’t get married, she should go with her gut feelings.

The sizzle reel sizzles on at The Haunted Star. Everyone stands frozen and Valerie looks like she wants the earth to swallow her up. Dillon is like, oops! wrong thing, let me turn this off, but Lulu tells him not to. Pay off! Pay off!

Olivia, who’s gotten some nice highlights, chats with Carly. Carly says she has something to do and will meet Olivia in Sonny’s room (don’t ask him first or anything). She goes to the laptop and looks at the screen to see Jason’s face looking back. More pay off! I feel like I’ve been waiting so long, I can’t take it all at once. Especially since I got my heart broken during last night’s Walking Dead episode.

Patrick asks Elizabeth if there’s something she wants to tell him. She says that she’s never been happier and she just has pre-wedding jitters. Patrick has never been the most observant guy, but even he knows there’s more to it than that. She says she has a really good feeling about the marriage. Really? No one is this stupid. She has to know the truth is eventually going to come out. Like today I hope. She says maybe her other marriages didn’t work out because she needed to get to the one that’s for keeps.

“Jake” tells Hayden that she’s not welcome at his wedding. She says she and “Jake” should have a clean slate since she lost her memory. Hayden is like, too bad, I’m coming anyway. “Jake” says if she and/or Nicholas upset Elizabeth on her wedding day, they’ll regret it.

Carly calls Spinelli and tells him to call her back immediately when he gets the message.

Sonny, who is looking kind of scruffy good since he hasn’t shaved in a while, is back from PT and Olivia apologizes for lying about Leo. Sonny says he gets that she was just protecting Leo. She had also kept Dante’s paternity from Sonny, and apologizes for Sonny missing out on Dante’s childhood. Sonny is uncharacteristically understanding.

Lulu insists that Dillon put the sizzle reel that isn’t the sizzle reel back on. It gets to the part where Valerie tells Dillon that she slept with Dante, and everyone is like whoa, and looks are being shot everywhere.

Hayden says she admires “Jake” because of how he’s reinvented himself. She says she wants to follow his example. She says she knows she wasn’t the greatest person and wants to have a fresh start. This girl is good because I’m never sure whether to believe her or not.

Patrick and Elizabeth come into the waiting room and Carly shuts the laptop like she’s putting out a fire. “Jake” and Sam are right behind them, and “Jake” immediately knows something’s wrong. Carly says she just has something on her mind and practically runs out of the room. Snot rag Elizabeth says Carly can take care of herself and who cares what her problem is.

Lulu is so delusional, she thinks Valerie made up sleeping with Dante. She says it’s because Valerie still “has feelings” for Dante and insists that Dante correct this misconception, because he would never do such a thing. To his credit, he says he did. I hate that expression “has/have feelings for.” What kind of “feelings?” What does that mean? It’s so vague, it’s annoying.

Hayden says she doesn’t really know where she stands with anyone, and even if they’re being nice, she doesn’t know if it’s genuine or they’re just waiting to pay her back for one of her misdeeds.

Sam tells Elizabeth that she’s marrying a man of many hidden talents, that he blew the roof off at karaoke. Thanks. I would have liked to see that.

Carly calls some lab about running a discreet DNA test on “Jake.” I guess she has connections. She pops into Sonny’s room and says she has to go and deal with something important.

Morgan and Darby are basking in the afterglow and I take a nap. Wake me when Kiki inevitably shows up.

Maxie is totally freaking out. Nathan puts his police hat on (symbolically) and kicks everyone out of the party. Valerie tries to follow the crowd, but Lulu is like, no way, bitch.

Dante keeps trying to get Lulu to go, but she wants answers and rightly so. She asks how long the affair has been going on and Valerie says it was just one night, like that makes it okay. Lulu says she welcomed Valerie into her family and this is how she gets repaid.

I’m thinking maybe Nicholas needs to lay off those Floating Rib dinners, since he’s looking a little chunky. Hayden asks if they’re just “castle mates” or are they moving forward with the relationship?

Oh I get it. Carly wants “Jake” to be hydrated and insists he have some of her water to get a DNA sample. She also says they need to have a long talk before the wedding about best person and groom stuff. Yeah, like maybe he shouldn’t be getting married right now since he’s Jason.

Lulu asks if Dante took Valerie to their home and their bed. She thinks it was the night that Dante admitted to kissing Valerie, but he just edited out the juicy parts. Valerie says no, that it was the night Lulu spent with Dillon in Canada. Lulu is appalled at Valerie’s suggestion she might be at fault here. Me too, really. She’s not being contrite enough for my taste. Valerie says she’s not blaming Lulu, but everyone screwed up, even her. Dante is still trying to get Lulu to leave and Lulu tells him to never come near her again.

Everyone in the hospital waiting room remembers they have homes and cuts out. Carly heads to the lab with the empty water bottle.

The kids are still hanging around The Haunted Star and TJ tells Kiki she should consider forgiving Morgan. Morgan walks in, and Kiki fills him on what happened. When she asks where he was, Darby walks in and says he was with her.

Valerie gets mad at Dillon. She thinks Dillon should fire Andy for being either a perv or a complete incompetent. Maxie thinks they should go after Lulu, but Nathan takes her phone. Maxie realizes Nathan knew the whole time. Dante follows Lulu down to the docks that we can’t seem to get enough of lately.

These are the episodes I live for. And Vanderpump Rules starts its new season tonight. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Ladies of London

Caroline #1 says that Annabelle has been “Poe faced” lately. I like this new term. I don’t know if the guy that woke her up is a friend or her husband, but he’s pretty cute.

They’re on their way somewhere and Caroline #1 is saying Julie is basically subservient to Annabelle. Since Annabelle is in the same limo, doesn’t Caroline know she can hear? Or does she not care?

For winning some battle, Caroline #2’s (The Baroness) 10th great grandfather won a castle. Some of the furniture is awesome and it goes without saying that the castle itself is. Hmm… If that isn’t Caroline #1’s husband, this guy is inappropriately touching her butt. The Baroness says she realizes she’s privileged and is grateful, but when she was little, she thought everyone lived like that. I can understand somewhat. My father built our house, and since he was living with 3 women (my mother, my sister and I), our bathroom was huge. I was shocked when I saw other people’s bathrooms because I thought everyone’s bathroom was like ours. The castle has a huge room with every kind of taxidermied animal and even a shrunken head. Julie is somewhat appalled, but I think I’d be okay with it. It’s not like that giraffe got felled yesterday. I flash back to the Niagara Falls Museum in Canada, where they have the oldest taxidermied lion ever. The fur is practically falling off of it. I love that place. Nothing much changes there.

Commercial break. I can’t take all this election stuff. Between the TV ads and the robocalls, it makes me never want to vote again because I hate them all.

Ok, that’s Caroline #1’s makeup artist, who no doubt is gay, so touching her butt was okay. Is he single? I might know a guy for him.

It’s time for dinner and it’s one of those really long tables. Annabelle still has a stick up her ass and continues to be Poe faced. I’m going to use that all the time now. Everyone says how great everything is, and it’s obvious Annabelle is not happy. I can’t even remember what it is she’s unhappy about. Geez, she’s having a cigarette and no one is treating her like a pariah. She should at least be happy about that. Julie, Caroline #1 and Annabelle start talking about how Caroline said Julie is Annabelle’s bitch. The Baroness is like, thanks a lot for starting this stuff at my lovely family home.

Caroline #1 says she thinks Julie has more confidence now, that somehow this group of dysfunctional women has given her strength. Probably in self-defense. They’re fun to watch, but I don’t think I’d want to hang out with this crowd. Maybe Juliet and The Baroness, but Julie is scatter-brained and the rest of them will roll over you like a bulldozer.

Caroline #1 goes on about how Julie has gone through an evolution and has her own balls now (no pun intended about the product she sells). Annabelle tells her to talk to the hand. Really. She does.

The Baroness is pissed that breakfast has been on the table since 10 and it’s 10:30. I don’t blame her. Caroline #1 starts stammering that she doesn’t usually go… and The Baroness finishes her sentence with “any place [she] needs manners.” Annabelle lets out a huge laugh. Caroline #1 says she usually doesn’t stay at other people’s homes and The Baroness says at least she’s honest.

Julie says when you hold a yoga pose, you need equal amounts of energy coming from every area of your body and it’s the same in a friendship. Whatever that means. I’m not very good at holding yoga poses, although I do just fine with friendships.

Annabelle gets a call while she’s chatting with Joan Collins Sophie. Whatever it is, it’s not good news. She’s going “oh no” and “don’t talk about that stuff.” Now she’s crying.

Okay. Apparently, this has something to do with a book someone is writing about Alexander McQueen and some article that’s coming out about it in the tabloids. She’s pissed because there’s no way to defend yourself when you’re dead and everyone is coming out of the woodwork with nasty stories. I shrug and think this is part of being a skabillionaire celebrity. The Baroness says thanks for sharing, but Julie thinks there’s more to it than that.

The two Caroline’s go to Svendborg Church where The Baroness’s family members are buried or interred or whatever. It’s absolutely beautiful. Her mother died from cancer and The Baroness mostly grew up without her. Caroline #1 says she feels stupid for even griping about her business.

The Baroness’s parents (I guess she has a stepmother?) are coming for dinner and everyone gets super dressed up. The Baroness says her relationship with her father has always been rocky because he doesn’t understand her life choices. I’m guessing this means she didn’t marry some lord and churn out grandkid heirs. Annabelle banters with The Baron about how favors and affairs are the ways titles are received. My husband is a Marquis, which I guess makes me a Marquise, but I have no idea what favors or affairs happened there. A title and $3.50 will get me on the subway.

The Baroness makes a toast. In her individual interview segment, Marissa says blah-blah-blah about how she has a new respect for The Baroness, and I couldn’t care less. She gives a toast about being in love with all people and things Denmark, which comes off to me as just a bunch of empty flattery.

Commercial break. I read an article about Kurt Russell trick-or-treating with his grandkids, and think he’s one hot granddad.

They go to the ballroom and dance around crazy drunk. The Baroness suggests a nightcap, which believe me, no one needs. There is a group hug.

Next week, the season finale. Marissa’s restaurant opening is delayed and there’s more Annabelle drama. I see Caroline #1’s husband, think ok yeah that’s him, I remember now, and that he can’t hold a candle to the makeup artist.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa looks like she’s lost weight. Does that mean there’s still hope for me? It looks like Kristen is still a psychotic a-hole and Stassi has had some work done. Although why either one of them is still on this show, I’m not sure. Oh yeah, drama.

Lisa says that last year was all about opening PUMP, but now she’s back to concentrating on SUR. She has a sit down with the staff. Jax has also had another nose job. I can’t stand him, but he really did have nasal problems and it’s not just a cosmetic thing, so I give him a pass.

James has been DJ-ing at PUMP, and says Kristen has been coming in and day drinking. She is so insane. You can just see it in her eyes. Lisa says Kristen isn’t allowed in PUMP or SUR when James is working. How about not letting her in period? Lisa complains that Tom hasn’t been on the ball and he says he’s not the only one.

It’s almost Scheana’s 30th birthday and she wants to have a “decades” party. I have no clue what that is. Kate goes down Memory Lane when she gave Schwartz the ultimatum to put a ring on it within 6 months. She says she has the feeling it’s coming. So is the apocalypse.

Jax tells James he doesn’t need grief from Kristen and that she’s a ticking time bomb. Yep. Jax’s ex-girlfriend, Carmen, is friends with Kristen and this boggles my mind, since she seemed sane. Kristen and James have an argument on the phone before the first commercial.

Commercial break. Those Hunger Games books and movies look good, but I don’t want to get wrapped up in another series. True Blood and Game of Thrones have been bad enough. I’m not even sure if I’m up for adding Après Ski.

Jax and James have an argument because Jax is a total gossip. James says Jax’s bro code is “F-U, bros.”

Ken shows up at SUR. He looks amazing for being 110 and just having had a hip replacement.

Scheana says Kristen isn’t invited to her birthday party. Tom says you actually have to ban her from a place for her not to show up anyway. I know someone like that too.

Here she comes! Jax asks what Kristen is doing in the parking lot. She’s pissed because James told Jax her business and he in turn told Carmen. Kristen says that being fired from SUR freed her to work on her T-shirt line and I choke on my seltzer. James is pretty angry about Kristen showing up just before he’s about to DJ and hopes Lisa doesn’t find out. This girl is so freakin’ out there, I don’t get why anyone has anything to do with her. Although I do know she and James called it quits a couple of months ago.

Jax’s real name is Jason. His mom is visiting and he’s asked his friends not to call him Jax in front of her. I didn’t know he had a mom. I figured he was raised by wolves. This guy is just too old even to be hanging out with these kids, let alone floundering along with nothing really going on in his life.

Commercial break. It’s one of those ads where Matthew McConaughey is in the car, making fun of his esoteric self. No. Just no.

James brings Kristen flowers and apologizes because he’s a total idiot. I don’t mean he’s apologizing for being an idiot; I mean he’s an idiot for apologizing. Kristen says she never knows what she’ll get with him, and I choke again, since she’s about as bi-polar as they come. James says he doesn’t want to bring her to Scheana’s party and she says fine, but it’s not fine.

Scheana has a birthday lunch at Villa Blanca with Jax and his mother in attendance. Jax’s mother says he’s been a handful from the day he was born. Lisa asks what’s the worst thing he ever did. Mom talks about how when he was 12, Jax hit on his bus driver. Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think his looks are all that and certainly not enough to make up for the rest of him.

Schwartz wants to get a permanent. Tom says they call it a perm for a reason and this might be a mistake. Schwartz says he’s ready to propose to Katie. After the hair process, Schwartz says his hair isn’t as “permy” as he thought it would be, but he likes it. Actually, it’s not bad. I was afraid he’d end up looking like Carrot Top.

Commercial break. Yep, Christmas is here now, since we’re done with Halloween. How much do you think I’ll hate The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies by December 25? Living in the area, we also get local ads for Broadway shows and King Charles III looks amazing, but I’d really love to see Bruce Willis in Misery.

On to the party. Katie says something about someone looking like they’re from Andy Warhol’s Factory and I’m shocked she even knows what that is. Carmen didn’t want to go, and Jax says he went one down in his contacts and brought Carter. Bleh. Scheana is dressed as Madonna in her boy toy phase and I love it. I wish we still dressed like that.

Ha! Kristen says that she knows technically she wasn’t invited, but she knows Scheana wants her there anyway because she’s psychotic psychic. The costumes are pretty fabulous overall, outfits mostly portraying the 60s, 70s and 80s.. James is DJ-ing and the place is rocking out. Of course Kristen starts bugging him immediately that he’s drinking too much, which makes him want to drink more. Kristen says he’s on his way to being a drunken a-hole. While he does like to get his drink on, the only time I’ve seen him really be an a-hole is when she starts something. I’m not crazy about him, but he seems to go out of his way to treat her well and she doesn’t appreciate it at all.

Tom does some kind of roller skating routine on the dance floor. Ken tells Tom not to disrespect his wife (this has something to do with the staff meeting), and Tom says the British gangster is coming through.  I love Ken. He’s the most perfect husband I’ve ever seen. He’d do anything for Lisa. Apparently, there was some kind of altercation with Kristen and James at PUMP, and Lisa tries to discuss it with Kristen. Lisa says she’s asking for the impossible in expecting Kristen to take any responsibility for anything. I concur. She also says that at 54 years old, she wants respect. To which I say, good luck with that. They keep cutting to Ariana who’s making a lot of faces.

Scheana says that Kristen has been more pleasant lately and that she has a soft spot for her. Not me and I think she’s batsh*t crazy. Ariana is annoyed that Scheana, who is supposed to be her best friend, says Kristen has never given her a direct reason not to like her. In other words, wishing for Ariana’s death wasn’t enough. I’m trying to figure out what Ariana’s costume is supposed to be. Something from the 70s, but she looks like she’s dressed like a guy and the whole getup is kind of monochromatic and boring.

Where is my Giggy?

Everyone is getting drunker. Scheana’s husband is doing some two-fisted drinking, and Tom is pouring liquor straight into his mouth from the bottle of Fireball. I like Fireball — and it has the extra benefit of clearing out your sinuses — but only one shot. I can’t even fathom chugging it. Kristen tells James to slow his drinking roll and he says she drives him to drink. Now he’s telling Tom how much he loves him and Tom jumps into the pool with his roller skates on.

Next week, it looks like we’re getting some new people.

Just a note on Après Ski. After watching the first episode, it looks like it’s a mo’ money, mo’ problems for the staff show, revolving around a ski resort. A keeper unless something better comes along.

Oct31

October 30, 2015 — Halloween in Port Charles & a Zombie Museum

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital – Thursday

I guess I didn’t miss anything yesterday, since everyone seems to be acting normally. Or at least as normal as they’re going to be in Port Charles.

Halloween is here! Emma has decided on the Evie costume (Paul told her it gave her “an edge”), Sam is the Evil Queen (been there, done that), and Patrick is a doctor (a real stretch) along with Danny as his mini-me. “Jake” and the rest of the boys are a football team

Spinelli has stayed behind to work on the “Jake” project. “All Hallows Eve,” he tells us, “is a night when secrets are revealed.” I live in hope, but not really. He’s also answering the door for trick-or-treaters, and Maxie shows up.

Dillon and Lulu are getting ready for The Haunted Star Halloween Extravaganza, but Lulu tells him she doesn’t see how they can be friends again. After a real just one kiss? She’s a little ridiculous. That almost rhymed. The PA, Andy, is editing his behind-the-scenes film and comes across the part where Valerie tells Dillon she slept with Dante and they didn’t know the camera was on. He says “whoa,” but I don’t because I already knew all that.

Ava, who always has the best outfits – today it’s a shocking blue number with black lace detail – is on the phone leaving a message for Kiki, asking her for help with the custody battle. Tracy shows up and says she wants “a piece of work,” but doesn’t mean Ava.

Paul tries to give Dillon some romance advice, and tells him to not give up. Rah-rah.

Andy is supposed to be setting up the music, and Lulu interrupts his film watching. He runs into Valerie in the hallway and tells her she looks smokin’ hot (she’s dressed as a 1950s schoolgirl and “cute” might be more appropriate). He asks if she has a better relationship going on and we both say, “Huh?” Valerie is looking for Lulu and goes in the editing room which is now a dressing room. Lulu is going with sexy cop. Zzzzzz….

Spinelli and Maxie SKYPE with their baby, Georgie, and then say how flawless she is. “A perfect collections of atoms,” Spinelli says.

Tracy is looking for a specific artist that only Ava’s gallery carries. She says that Ava shouldn’t expect Kiki’s help, and that Avery didn’t exactly hit the parent jackpot with a sociopath and a mob boss, but she picks Sonny to be the better parent regardless. I dunno. I like Ava. I like her more than I do Sonny anyway.

Dante tells Sonny the truth about Valerie. Sonny tells him it’s not going to do anyone any good for Dante to wallow in regret and suggests he go to confession.

Lulu tells Valerie that there’s weird tension between her and Dillon now, but Valerie tells her she shouldn’t give up the friendship. She says that Dillon has done a lot for her family and she should give him a break.

Commercial break. I am so tired of everything being “connected.” Sorry, but when I leave the house, I don’t want the phone, computer and television following me. I leave the house to get away from all that.

Ava tells Tracy to get lost, that she doesn’t need the sale that bad. Tracy runs into Paul at the door.

Andy tells Dillon he’d better take a look at the film. Yep.

Spinelli gives Maxie a book on goddesses, because she’s dressed like one and it’s not the first time. She says next time at leastshe’ll know which one she is. Spinelli says she’ll always be a goddess to him and they say they’ll always love each other. I wish they meant it that way. Nathan is hot, but I miss Spinelli, and I was never crazy about Ellie. Although it all seemed like just a vehicle to get Georgie off the canvas.

Elizabeth, now in her cheerleader outfit, is back home from trick-or-treating with the guys. Young Jake still keeps insisting that “Jake” is his father. Elizabeth asks “Jake” to consider adopting Jake and Cameron after they get married.

Nooooo! Maxie just spilled coffee all over Spinelli’s keyboard while the whole shebang was downloading. I actually said, “Noooo!” and gasped out loud and all the dogs looked at me like, what up? What up is that I’d better not have to wait until Christmas for this reveal. I’m more disappointed than Spinelli.

Sam tries to sop the mess up with a towel. Maxie is mortified and Spinelli tells her it’s fine. No. It’s not. She has to leave and suggests he put the laptop in some rice. (?) When she’s gone, Spinelli tells Sam it’s “an unmitigated disaster.” OMG, I can’t stand it.

Elizabeth talks to the boys alone about “Jake” adopting them. The boys are excited about it, and young Jake says he’s on board even though “Jake” doesn’t need to adopt him. This kid is like a dog with a bone.

Paul says he’s there to look at the same collection Tracy was interested in. He tells Tracy that Dillon turned down his funding offer because he wouldn’t feel right taking more money, and Tracy wonders whose child Dillon is. She says they can be supportive by going to The Haunted Star party, and he says he’ll meet her there.

Dante tells Sonny that Dillon knows about his indiscretion because Valerie told him. Sonny says she might be cool, but she obviously has no impulse control, and that he has to tell Lulu before someone else does. For once, I agree with him. Mostly because I want to see the fireworks.

Spinelli uses the hairdryer on the keyboard, when “Jake” shows up. He acts really cute with Danny and he seems like a natural as a dad. I feel Spinelli’s pain with that keyboard. I did the same thing twice in a row and finally got a keyboard you can put in the dishwasher.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that she’s glad “Jake” has stopped with chasing his real identity. And Patrick goes, D’oh! Because he know better.

Ava gets a text from her lawyer saying that under no circumstances will Kiki help her out. She starts to cry and Paul tells her to trust him, that it’s going to be okay. Then he kisses her big time. I’d just been thinking they might be good together.

Tracy tells Maxie she’ll be glad to contribute funding to the film, but she’d like a producer credit and a “teeny, tiny” say in the final cut. Maxie wonders why she bothered to ask.

Lulu and Dillon make up and while they’re hugging it out, Lulu sees a freeze frame of Dillon talking to Valerie on the laptop screen.

Patrick goes humana-humana, and says Elizabeth should try and see it from “Jake’s” side, that he wants to make sure he’s the man she needs him to be. She says blah-blah-blah, because I stopped listening to her a long time ago.

Spinelli says it’s do or die time. It’s back! The laptop is working! Hallelujah!

Jake gets a text from “Unknown” that says, “We’re coming for you.” Great. I hope they don’t come before we find out who he really is.

Lulu asks what’s on the screen and Dillon tells her it’s probably behind-the-scenes stuff. She says she guesses Valerie made the cut and wonders if she did. And then…SHE PRESSES THE BUTTON TO START THE FILM. Please, oh please, oh please.

Sonny tells Dante that being a man means making mistakes and figuring out how to fix them. (I think there might be a little more to it than that, but okay.) Dante says he’ll come clean with Lulu. I am so hoping it’s after she sees that film clip. I’m making popcorn.

Side comment: Since GH ends slightly before the hour, because we all know ABC can’t wait to give you the bad news, I flipped to CBS and saw the preview for tomorrow’s Dr. Phil. Jared Fogle is one huge deviant. I think Subway stock just plummeted to nothing from even that small clip.

General Hospital – Friday

Halloween continues. The Haunted Star is rocking and rolling. Morgan is dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. How 2003 of him.

Dammit! Lulu hits play, but Dillon slams the laptop shut.

Franco and Nina are getting ready for the party or maybe they’re going to have their own party. Franco doesn’t want to give Kiki a ride (I have no clue what her costume is supposed to be – punk hipster?), and tells her to call a car. She’s been banned from the taxi company though, since she threw up in a cab. I guess they don’t have Uber. Ava shows up with baby Avery, who is dressed as a baby unicorn.

Andy shows up and Lulu goes back to tend to her guests. Dillon wants to know what’s up with the behind-the-scenes footage.

Paul shows up while Anna is at the docks. She tells him she thinks he’s part of a cover-up involving the deceased Carrrlos. Paul asks her what she sees when she looks in the mirror, and that he sees a decent person who’s crumbling from the inside out. He says she’s been a wreck since she came back to Port Charles. Then he says it. “You murdered Carrrlos Rivera.”

Sabrrrina (a princess) tells Felix (a vampire) that the baby might not be Michael’s. She tells him about her tryst with Carrrlos.

“Jake” is at (where else?) The Floating Rib with Carly, Michael and Sam. It’s a pseudo bachelor party. Yay! Karaoke time! “Jake” and Sam get up to sing. Their book of songs looks a lot more organized than the one where I do karaoke. I’m disappointed that we don’t get to hear anyone sing.

Spinelli tells Sam that the reconstruction should be completed shortly, but then what? I’ll tell him what. He’s going to see Jason’s face and I can stop putting quotes around Jake’s name.

Elizabeth gets a gift of a family heirloom and note from Audrey, apologizing for not being able to make the ceremony, but sending much love. Since we see her writing it, I assume Rachel Ames either wasn’t able to participate more than that or they didn’t want to pay her for more than that.

Dante tells Nathan (a gladiator) that he’s going to come clean with Lulu. Dante is dressed as a cheating husband.

Dillon tells Andy to delete the footage. Andy says it’s 50% of his grade, but he won’t include that part. I’m a little confused why he just can’t edit it out immediately.

Maxie is hitting up Morgan for some funding. He wants a scene with Darby, who he’s at the party with. I thought he made up with Kiki. WTH? Ohh, I’ll bet I did miss something yesterday.

Kiki tells Ava not to push her or she’ll tell the DA everything she’s ever done. Franco asks her to leave. She begs Kiki to let her fix things, but it’s a no. Ava asks Franco to help with the Kiki situation. She says that none of this would have happened if Franco hadn’t left her to die on the bridge. He says he’ll take it under advisement. She says that when he’s sitting around getting fat off of Nina’s money, to remember that he could have saved Avery from Sonny.

OMG, I think I know what’s going to happen. Dillon is supposed to show “the sizzle reel,” whatever that means, to help them promote the film. Maybe it will be a sizzle in a different way.

Good Lord, I can’t stand it. Something is up with Ellie, and Spinelli says he’s going home at once. No, no, no, no, no. Not before that reconstruction finishes. He leaves a phone message for Sam, saying he has to go, but he’s leaving the laptop with her. Are they on dial-up or something? What takes days to download anymore?

Paul tells Anna that he has enough evidence to convict her, but doesn’t want to send her to prison. Paul planted Carrrlos’s wallet on another body that was too decomposed for them to tell, and had it cremated before anyone could ask too many questions. Or check dental records.

Lulu tells Tracy that she and Dante want to try for another child. Tracy tells her she’s not going to give out any unicorns and rainbows, and that Lulu has enough on her plate.

Valerie tells Dante she made it into the police academy. Valerie and Dante hug it out and Dillon is lurking. Dante wants to tell her about how he’s going to confess to Lulu, but she says it’s not a good time and disappears.

Paul tells Anna that she deserves a break, that she only made one bad decision. He says that maybe she’ll be in a position to return the favor one day.

Sabrrrina says she’s barely holding it together, and Felix tells her she needs to take a paternity test.

Patrick says something to Elizabeth about having cold feet, because she’s getting married “tomorrow.”  Um, even in Soapland, the day after Halloween isn’t November 6.

Kiki makes it to the party. She’s looking for Morgan, who is getting busy with Darby somewhere. I can’t tell if he’s still at the party or they’re at a hotel.

Anna sees Carrrlos! I would so love it if he wasn’t really dead. No body, no dead, I say. Even sometimes when there’s a body, they’re not dead.

Here comes the sizzle reel…. YES! And the remote won’t work. Thank you! Thank you! This just made my Halloween.

Spinelli gives Carly the laptop and asks her tells her to pass it along to Sam. The facial recognition is now 99% complete. These people are going to kill me yet.

The last thing we see is “Jake’s” face turn into Jason’s on the laptop screen. Finally. I hope.

Z Nation

Operation Bite Mark is assessing their supplies, which pretty much consist of a handful of bullets, some batteries, and a few pieces of chewing gum “for repair purposes only.”

Doc wakes Murphy, who’s been dreaming of brains. And I don’t mean smarts, I mean a snack. While helping Doc forage for lunch, Murphy sees a brain hanging from a rope. When he investigates, he falls into a hole. Like one of those cartoon traps. A zombie is there already, eating some brains. When the zombie holds them out to Murphy, he dips his finger in them and puts it across his gums, as though it was cocaine. And it gives him a jolt like the same.

A dude in a steampunk outfit enters the hole, knocks Murphy out and tangles with the zombie, killing him. Murphy wakes up in a lab. Steampunk dude is doing some kind of experiments, and is startled that Murphy seems to have a certain amount of comprehension. Because Murphy has been choked out, he can’t quite speak. Oh, I get it. Steampunk Dude (who actually looks like a middle-aged hippie) set the trap for experiment subjects.

Murphy asks for water. He gets his voice back, and Steampunk Dude brings out a recording of Citizen Z describing Murphy. At least he got a clue pretty quickly. What he decides to do about Murphy is yet to be seen.

Murphy ends up in a shock collar. He says his friends will be looking for him. Steampunk Dude gets a little nuts, talking about the CDC (the organization that Murphy is headed to). Apparently, he’s been hassling them for years, and has a stack of returned mail, with the addresses written in crayon, to prove it. No doubt he has some cease and desist letters too. He also constantly makes notes on cards he keeps on a makeshift Rolodex around his neck.

Steampunk Dude has been banned from Comicon because he was actually serious about being a zombie hunter. He’s created a zombie museum. A lot of nerdy repartee happens while he shows Murphy his collection. He also has an interesting Groot. He says that George Romero working social commentary into horror films has resonance. Murphy sees a poster for Dawn of the Dead and says scary and funny is the way he likes his zombies. There is a whole lot of discussion about Dawn of the Dead. Steampunk Dude says Romero never explained why the dead rise and that’s more horrifying than anything else. Good point. Steampunk Dude says Murphy is to be revered. Geez, you’d think he’d take off the shock collar then. Steampunk Dude has hot running water, and Murphy gets a shower. Probably the first one in who knows how long.

After his shower, Murphy is getting dressed when Steampunk Dude struggles with a zombie. Murphy gets the best of him while he’s distracted, says he must be on his way, and then gets shot in the back with some kind of dart. Shit. Steampunk Dude says that Murphy is only the CDC’s pawn, and if anyone wants to see him, they’ll have to go through Steampunk Dude first. His plans are to have an interactive display in his museum with Murphy.

He puts Murphy in the guest chair and does some kind of public access show called Dead Live, that I imagine is for posterity since there’s no electricity for people to watch TV.  I do learn his name is Dean though. He takes a bone marrow sample from Murphy with a six or eight inch needle (he isn’t sure which) because science is all about trying, and he wants to see if it tells him anything.

In an interview segment, Murphy says he was in prison and being used as a guinea pig for experimental drugs by the CDC. When the prison was overrun with zombies, he was bitten, but survived. He said he made a promise to eat the doctor’s brains that was in charge of the experiments.

We periodically see OBM searching through every house for Murphy in the meantime.

Dean continues to interview Murphy about everything from what happens when he bites someone (he says nothing special, even though we know otherwise, and they flash back to Cassandra) and whether he can control zombies with his thoughts (“that’s how rumors get started”). He tells Dean that he doesn’t know what brains taste like because he’s never eaten them, and Dean responds by saying, “For the first time on television…” When Dean leaves to put the bone marrow sample in the fridge, Murphy taps into the brain of a lab zombie and tells him to cut Murphy’s bonds with a medical tool. Before that can be accomplished though, Dean returns.

Dean has a display of live zombies, chained behind an electric fence. In the “Celebrity Zombie Room,” it’s George RR Martin signing books. Murphy doesn’t know who he is because they didn’t have HBO in prison. Dean says they were both at the last Comicon when the apocalypse happened.  Because the autograph reflexes run so deep, George can still autograph books and Dean says he’ll make a mint when eBay comes back and he has thousands of them. He asks Murphy if his telepathic powers can get George to finish his last book. I’m with him one that. Murphy picks up a manuscript that begins, “Summer is here,” (ha-ha!) and wonders why 800 pages isn’t enough (snort). Murphy asks if he can keep one of the books and slams Dean in the head with it. Running past the exhibit, he sees a chair meant for him. Dean chases him through what looks like an old hotel all the while giving him various monetary incentives to stick around. When Murphy reaches the front door, Dean says 50/50 is the best he can do. Dean pushes a buzzer and tells Murphy to go, but the door is electrified. Dean says Murphy is dangerous and he’s  going to drain Murphy’s blood and freeze it. He keeps using the shock collar on Murphy and its pissing me off.

10K is at the door! Murphy can’t see him, and Dean keeps shocking him, so he can’t do anything. This is a freakin’ stressful moment. Dean goes to the door and 10K says he’s looking for a friend. Dean says he hasn’t seen anyone. 10K isn’t satisfied though and keeps asking questions. He finally leaves, but gets in to the building through the kitchen. He walks past the live display and finds Murphy, with an IV draining his blood.

Here comes the ohshitohshitohshit moment.

Dean comes up behind 10K and shocks him. I guess this is the only way to incapacitate both zombies and people. He wants Murphy to turn 10K. In a zombie way.10K begs him not to turn him into “one of those things.” Murphy says he doesn’t know what 10K is talking about, and Dean shocks him. Murphy tells 10K not to be afraid. 10K says he doesn’t fear Murphy, he hates him and wishes he would die for real. They both get another shock when Murphy says they finally agree on something. Dean fires a warning shot and says if Murphy doesn’t bite 10K, he’ll shoot them both. OBM has heard the shot. Murphy is about to bite 10K when he asks Dean if he’s sure that’s what he wants. Dean says to show him what it’s like to be a zombie. This was probably the wrong thing to say, as Murphy sics the now loose display zombies on him. So much blood has been drained from Murphy, he passes out, and the zombies look at 10K

This is not good. And it doesn’t matter that 10K says, “I’m with him,” pointing to the unconscious Murphy. OBM arrives and has just enough bullets to get rid of the zombies. They wheel Murphy out as he regains consciousness.

Vasquez gets the collar off of Murphy. Doc sets up the IV to put the blood back into Murphy. Murphy asks Roberta to promise not to leave him alone when they get to California and she does. Murphy seems alone and afraid, and it’s a little sad.

IMO, this was one of the best episodes ever. Not only did we get a lot of Murphy’s backstory, it appealed to the nerd in me. The original Dawn of the Dead is one of my favorite horror films, and the banter about it was excellent. The George RR Martin cameo was a real delight as well.