Category Archives: general hospital

September 8, 2015 — GH, a Yacht & a Party

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

The big question is — who is the mystery shooter? Franco, Nina and company are all busy right now. Julian? Too obvious. I believe Morgan would do just about anything at this point, but we know where he is. Ditto Michael. One of those generic mob guys who were at the round table? Maybe. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Everyone’s rocking their looks at the wedding that’s not going to happen. Even Bobbie’s fillers are fitting her face better. Fillers fitting face. Say that 3 times real fast. Haven’t all of Sonny’s weddings been postponed because of a shooting accompanied by an Italian aria? No music this time. Not even an Ave Maria. I feel cheated.

Yeah, I didn’t think that headband was going to stay on Avery’s head for long. How old is she supposed to be? She sure is chomping on a humongous cracker when I figured she’d still be being bottle fed.

Hayden apparently woke up a genius, since she can read an awful lot into remembering a few seconds of something.

Oh, I see. It’s the expendable stranger that was the shooter. No surprise and not much fun to try and guess either. Good for “Jake” shooting Charlie while he was babbling about shooting TJ. Tuco said it best in The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, “When you have to shoot, shoot; don’t talk.”

Good job in derailing your love life nuSloane. I am so not feeling this guy.

Will someone untie TJ already? Since he hasn’t figured out that the ropes are so loose, he could have slipped out of them two days ago. Probably brought to you by the same people who won’t tell the actors that, when they’re handed a cup of coffee, at least make it look like it’s full.

Did somebody call 911 or are they just going to stand around Sonny as he bleeds out? Doesn’t everyone carry cell phones now? That reminds me of a funny scene on One Life To Live years ago. Todd was holding a small crowd hostage and asked them to hand over their phones. About 50 phones were produced and it looked like an SNL skit.

Below Deck

I don’t know what’s up with some of these kids who sign on for this job. They don’t seem to grasp that it’s actually work. Hard work. Guests pay a lot of money to charter this yacht. They’re the ones who get to have the fun, not the employees. Not to mention the fat tips they get for the work. A couple of this season’s new people don’t even seem to grasp that there are rules when you’re on the water. Rocky annoys the hell out of me. She seems like a lazy ignoramus. She was in charge of laundry, so now everyone can’t find their uniform pieces and the ones they are finding aren’t laundered properly. She claims not to have any experience in laundry. Really? I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 13. Has she ever even had a job before? Kate reminds Rocky to turn the iron off and Rocky gets offended. Another really? I’m surprised she hasn’t already burned the yacht down, or made it capsize, or something.

The dude is back that Kate designed the towel like a rocket ship for last season. She has “some ideas” for new towel art and wants to have a Greek themed party, with togas, gods and a mermaid. Chef Leon says he hates theme parties. Why he even cares, since it’s not like he has to do anything but cook, is beyond me. Where is Chef Ben when I need him? He was so much more fun & had emotions other than annoyance.

Ha-ha! This time Kate made him a palm tree. With balls coconuts of course.

New guy Don is a freakin’ idiot who thinks he knows everything better than everyone else. Oh that’s right, I forgot, he’s an engineer. When the first officer tells you to do something, you do it. Man, I feel sorry for Eddie and Dan (the first officer) this season.

The guests are going to catch their own food – lobster and conch – this ought to be good. Connie is in her element alongside them. She told us in the first episode that one of the things that can get her to drop her pants is “Let’s go fishing.” Apparently, she’s easy to please. Or just easy.

Pausing to ogle the Kraft Mac & Cheese commercial. I know it’s probably about one of the worst things you can eat, but I nearly got addicted to it when I was a mother’s helper for 6 years. One for you, one for me. And there were 3 kids.

A conch is harder to open than a coconut. Amy wonders why Chef Leon is mystified with this task because he’s never done it before, yet he was a chef in the Bahamas. I wonder too. Kate better come up with some even better towel concoctions, since primary guest, Dean, is a stickler for time and this is taking forever. Luckily, Dean thinks it’s “ridiculously good” when the meal is finally served. Ohhh, wait a second, what he served is what they caught. What a loser.

This week’s gem of wisdom from Kate: “Cruise ships are K-Mart and yachts are Neiman Marcus.” She added “everyone knows that,” but I didn’t know that, so she’s wrong on that point.

Don is an arrogant pr*ck. He’s basically arguing with Captain Lee about – what difference does it make? He’s arguing with the Captain. And in his talking heads segment, he says Captain Lee hardly works. Huh? Then he quits! Mid charter! He trumps Chef Leon as a double-loser.

Can’t wait for next week and the Greek party.

My Fab 40th

This is sort of like My Sweet 16th for older people, and instead of whining teens, we have anxious adults. The best part about the show is the fabulousness of the parties and the amount spent on them. The food! The drink! The outfits! The decorations! The cake! Theme parties with costumes are the best. (Phooey on you, Chef Leon.) Tonight, Carmine has chosen a Hunger Games party and the costumes are to die for. Even his mother is going with the flow.

Carmine thought his problem would be mixing his gay and straight friends, but IMO, the much bigger issue is running low on food. Throughout the first forty minutes of the show, he fretted about combining his social spheres, concerned that his straight friends have never been surrounded by so much “gayness.” I’m wondering how his friends can be that sheltered. Even growing up in Ohio, I went to the clubs in downtown Cleveland and wasn’t the least bit shocked when I moved to NYC (I could also read!). Only his mom really has difficulty with the atmosphere, but it’s more a question of polite conversation, people using words like “b*tch” and “queen,” terms of endearment to them, but understandably not to his mom.

All ends up well though. Carmine’s mom tells him that he’s blessed with the friends he has, and he’s happy with them too.

Total cost: $26,525 – Holy!

September 7. 2015 — The OC & London Ladies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Was a repeat. I remember when holidays used to mean something on the soap operas…sniff…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Let’s start right off with the insufferable Meghan. I’m all for having your partner’s back and your friends’ backs. I’m as loyal as they come. Example. One time, a good friend and I were walking down Madison Avenue.  There was a guy playing bagpipes across the street, full on with a kilt & the whole outfit. She thought it was an ex of hers who had really screwed her over. She wanted to go over and punch him in the nose. I told her I’d go with her, that I would even hold him down for her, but to make sure it was the right guy because I didn’t want to go to jail for nothing. That being said, I do not drag my husband, or even other friends, into my arguments with girlfriends. Although I honestly can’t remember the last time there was an argument where I would need any back up. When I was in high school?

Why doesn’t Heather get why Vicki is outraged? Meghan is saying Vicki is covering for Brooks in the cancer conspiracy and she’s going to get to “the bottom of this.” I think she watches too much TV. She also seems to think it’s a double standard that Vicki was “getting involved” in her parenting skills. Vicki was trying to give (granted, unasked for) advice. Meghan is basically saying Vicki’s hatching some diabolical plot. Husband Jim seems distant and fed up, but I haven’t seen enough of him to determine if this isn’t his natural demeanor. Them calling each other “babe” is getting on my nerves. Can’t they remember each other’s names?

Meghan also has a breast cancer scare. It turns out to be nothing, but the cancer runs in her family, so she decides to get tested for the breast cancer gene (BRCA). Once again, she’s shocked and appalled at the suggestion that someone might not want to know if they have this. “Why wouldn’t you?” she asks indignantly. Because, you know, her way is the only way.

I like Vicki’s daughter, Briana, and often she’s the voice of reason, but I’ve never understood her hatred for Brooks. A couple of seasons ago, he got drunk and said some mean things, but she had already expressed her distaste for him before that. She’s very bored In Oklahoma. She and husband Ryan have lived there a year and have no friends. Why? I went to Oklahoma once to get together with online friends and I thought the people were very friendly and gracious.

Tamra is confused. The “sex tape” was funny, her sh*t stirring and insulting people is not. I understand her anger – she did not have the greatest first marriage. Simon came off as cold and controlling, and I have no idea what her home life was like growing up. Eddie, however, is an awesome husband. He’s always been supportive and is always willing to discuss the relationship. And he’s good looking. Where did she find this guy? Anyway, Tamra wants to know if she screws up, will Jesus still love her? Um…that’s pretty basic stuff, and come to think of it, usually a pastor doesn’t baptize you unless you’ve taken a class in the basics. A question mark is over my head here.

Heather and husband Terry are launching a skincare line on a cable shopping network. Terry says not only have they invested a million bucks, but “8 million viewers will see me act like a complete buffoon at one time.” I’m sure he’ll do fine. I love his show, Botched, with Paul Nassif.

Shannon and David are dining at the “Beador Restaurant” – a pop-up restaurant that, Shannon tells us, pops up in their home occasionally, courtesy of their daughters. The table is decorated with bobbleheads of the Beador couple and white candles. Shannon is wearing her grandmother’s custom made dress (an amazing piece!) that she says makes her feel like Alexis from Dynasty. The girls say they’re creating this dining experience for their parents to make their relationship better. Shannon thinks it’s also a do-over for her birthday dinner that was not the best. These two must be doing something right, since their daughters are very astute and precious.

Yeah, Tamra, I’m with Eddie. You should have discussed it with him before you handed your son 8k. By the time I was 30, I was married, on my second apartment, and probably my 6th job, always trading up. I was only 24 when I asked my father to stop supplementing my income. I understand Christmas and birthday gifts, or even a bailout when something bad happens, but this dude isn’t exactly grounded, even though he has a wife and kids. Tamra says she doesn’t like it when Eddie gets mad because he rarely does (again proving his supportiveness). I’d be pissed too, and I have the feeling this will come back to haunt Tamra, especially since she told Eddie she’d make it clear to Ryan that it’s a loan, but has no intention of doing that.

Briana is being a total asshat about Brooks. (Meghan is too, but they’re saving that for next week.) Is there something I don’t know about this guy? Is Bravo going to pull Brooks’s rap sheet or secret family out of the woodwork? It seems unreasonable and ridiculous. What burns me too is, I’m not crazy about Briana’s husband, Ryan. While I appreciate that he’s a veteran, I’ve also noticed that he seems to anger easily. Like when he went apesh*t over Lydia’s mother putting her feet on Vicki’s couch during a party several seasons ago. I had the feeling that perhaps he was suffering from PTSD or some other issue stemming from being in Iraq. Either he’s having or had back surgery (my first thought was, oh great, they’ll be giving him drugs), Briana is working 2 jobs and says she has to be both mother and father to their toddler son. And she’s complaining about Brooks’s relationship with her mother? She hasn’t even seen him in 2 years and she thinks he’s a “terrible person.” Why? Just tell me why. Please.

Ladies of London

Whoa. They started with the same song that’s the theme song for Little Women of New York, and I got confused for a second.

When we last left the ladies, Annabelle had just had a serious accident while riding her horse. She broke both her back and her pelvis, and is still recovering.

Oddly enough, although she is really a Lady, and her husband’s family owns Mapperton Estate in Dorsett, Julie Montagu lives in the smallest house among the cast, has the most children, and the least amount of staff, which is to say none. It’s fun watching this Vicountess juggle 50 different things at once.

Another American, Juliet, wants a real Thanksgiving, thinking she might start a new tradition among the ladies. It’s also going to be her birthday this year. I, too, am a Thanksgiving baby. It’s one of those birthdays that either everyone remembers because it’s on or around the holiday, or everyone forgets, because it’s on or around the holiday. (I have no complaints though. At least I wasn’t born on Christmas.) Marissa (also American) tries to override Juliet’s idea, saying they should go to her restaurant where they have It every year. Juliet approaches Caroline, asking her to have Thanksgiving at her house. Rather than witnessing Juliet cry, a fate worse than death (Caroline is the perfect example of a stiff upper lip), she agrees, even though she’s having some important cocktail party the night before. When Juliet tells Marissa, Marissa gets very animated about how she wants to throw this birthday party for Juliet with a turkey cake or a cake with a turkey on it or something. In any case, she’s not happy.

In a truly inappropriate moment, Marissa brings Thanksgiving hats to Caroline’s cocktail party. In her talking head segment, she thinks that Juliet is trading her friendship for Caroline’s. I thought she just didn’t want to celebrate her birthday/Thanksgiving at a restaurant. I’m actually all for it, but some people don’t feel that way. Marissa acts like a brat, ignoring Juliet at the party. Juliet was very clear about how she felt, so why are Marissa’s feelings so hurt? Juliet didn’t even know about the cake turkey. Marissa accuses Juliet of “shopping her birthday around.” Huh?

It ends with the two of them bickering at the cocktail party. Caroline calls them “emotional Americans,” but is flattered that she’s a part of the argument.

October 10 – People’s Couch is back!

September 4, 2015 — GH & Catching Up

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General Hospital

Now that I finally got nuKiki and TJ down, I wonder who nuSloane is every time I see him.

It’s one of those rare times I agree with Sonny – Charlie is stupid. Does he really think Sonny was born yesterday? He might have come unarmed, but I’m sure arms are right around the corner. TJ’s eyes look like they’re going to pop out of his head. I’d probably look the same if a gun was that close to my face. I’m guessing this episode is going to end with a cliffhanger bang. Who is this guy, Charlie, anyway? A mob renegade? It usually doesn’t end too well for those types, and it’s highly doubtful they’re going to kill off Sonny.

Oooh! Nice cut and color on Olivia! I see there have been new cuts and colors all around. I guess in Port Charles they have hairdresser day where everyone gets it done at once.

I’d like to know how Nicholas got to be a “pillar of the community” when he rarely even leaves Windermere? And when did Anna get this big revelation about Sloane? A lot seems to happen offstage. Is this a police station or a matchmaking operation? Jordon gets involved in a lot of people’s romantic affairs.

“Dressing – Primping – Leaving.”  The Survivor bride motto. Hey, can I buy extravagant gifts and put them on Sonny’s tab? How does Michael think Morgan got a hangover? How quickly we forget.

If aliens were watching daytime TV and saw the commercials, they’d think we’re all a sickly bunch who take a lot of medication. Ironic how difficult it is to get any of the characters to take one pill, even when they’re going off the rails.

Whoa. Wait. What happened? WTF, Sloane? Did something else happen when I blinked? Was Nicholas throwing signs? Stop toying with me & Anna! Not liking nuSloane.

Geez, Charlie turned into a big baby really fast.

Yep, my prediction was right. Not so much psychic as having watched this for 50 years.

The Haves & The Have Nots

Apparently in missing the first half hour on Tuesday, I missed a lot. All the upheaval during Jim’s live interview, after the bombshell dropped that he had 2 sons by one of his maids. Finding out that Veronica was behind his son Ryan’s near-rape in prison after Jim had put him in there to teach him a lesson. (What happened to grounding?) And the piêce de rèsistance, Jim trying to strangle Veronica in a room full of people. Whew!

But wait a second. Didn’t Candace save anything from the millions she got out of Jim? Why does she need a bankroll to prove that she can take car of her son? I love Candace and Oscar (really?) together. I hope he continues to be the nice guy he seems to be. Is that even possible on a show like this?

Now that I’ve seen the beginning, it makes a lot more sense now why Jim wants a “bloodbath.”  I thought he was just being exceptionally crabby.

September 3, 2015 — GH & Some Lost Secrets

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Adding “the shipments” to the list of generic terms the PC mob uses. I’ll bet they’re secretly selling Amway. For the love of God, someone please say the name of the kid-whose-name-I-can-never-remember. I finally got the names down on MasterChef though Major points for me!

WHAT HAPPENED TO SLOANE??? That’s not Sloan. Who is that guy and what happened to the handsome one? All right, I’ll take the buzzcut, just bring him back. This guy reminds me of Beau Bridges. (No offense to Beau, but he just ain’t the other Sloane.) Seeing Sloane’s lovesickness over Anna has given me the earworm of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love,” except Sloan would do that too.

Somebody Morgan’s age (TJ! It’s TJ! That’s his name!) shouldn’t have that bad of a hangover. Geez, where are the days when young people went straight to brunch? If he keeps going the way he’s going, I might actually start liking Sonny. I even stopped watching GH for a while when it became The Sonny Show. While I love the spy stuff – ah, the days of the Ice Princess, the Wellington Dog, and Casey the alien (yeah, I know, I’m the only one who liked that storyline, but, Brad Lockerman) – I’ve always felt that if I want to watch mob doings, I’ll watch Goodfellas.

Is it me, or did Hayden’s hair color change when she was unconscious for so long in the hospital? Those crazy nurses!

Question. If Jublia is so great, how come the foot playing tennis still has fungus on its toes at the end of the match? The ridiculous things that bother me…

The Real Housewives of New York: Secrets Revealed

I love how they come up with new ways to milk the season. Secrets Revealed is the new Lost Footage. I’m glad they changed the title because “lost footage” seriously insults my intelligence. I have this mental picture of Andy Cohen hiding film clips in his desk until the season is over. Oddly enough, we often get some of the best footage out of the extra episodes. New earworm: “Save the Best for Last.”

Maybe there is hope. Bethenny is talking about how she was practically living on the street 6 or 7 years ago, and now she’s a skabillionaire. Although I don’t exactly have her energy.  Dorinda found an old love letter email from her late husband, Richard, that he wrote while she was sleeping. He talks about wanting to wake her, but they have plenty of years for that. Tears in everyone’s eyes, including mine.

OMG. Heather actually stopped in the middle of what she was saying and said she didn’t really care, it was basically too stupid a topic to continue with. That reminded me of the time when I was taking a musical comedy class. (You could really sing anything; it didn’t have to be from a musical.) This girl stopped in the middle of her song and said she never realized how idiotic the lyrics were, and sat down.

Sonja was defensive and needy? Has there been a time when she wasn’t? BTW, for all Sonja’s yapping about how the ladies talk about her, she sure had a lot to say about Kristen’s husband being caught up in that Ashley Madison business. My love for Sonja has waned this season. I don’t know if it’s too much drinking or what, but she seemed more unhinged than eccentric. Ow! That was my reaction to the knife in my heart when Kristen talked about breaking out her wedding dress for her 10th anniversary. Kristen seems surprised her wedding dress still fits. Really? She doesn’t look like she has an ounce of body fat. She couldn’t possibly have been thinner 10 years ago. Carole tries on the dress too. That seems kind of weird to me. I understand wanting to try them on at a store, even if you’re not the one getting married, but not somebody’s already-been-worn dress.

Ha-ha! Ramona just called Heather and Carole “Harold.” Ugh! I hate when Ramona gets all huggy/clingy. It usually happens after she’s done something awful and wants forgiveness. She makes me think of a sloth clinging to a tree. Or worse, a spider wrapping web material around a fly.

WHAT’RE YA DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?!