What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Michael sees Nina at the MetroCourt and asks if she’s spoken to Nelle, but she hasn’t, and she hasn’t checked her messages. He says she might want to listen to the message Nelle left; she’s quitting. Charlotte comes running up to Nina. Lulu has her there for ice cream. Lulu tells Nina that no one picked Charlotte up from school, so they called her. Nelle was a no-show.

That’s because she’s unconscious on the docks.

Elizabeth and Franco bring the boys home. Franco tells Jake that he totally scored with his magic act, and they’ll open the rest of the presents tomorrow, when Jason and Sam are there. Ack. This show has a bit of a problem with continuity at times – they said they were doing that yesterday. Elizabeth and Franco go to the kitchen, and Jake tells Aiden not to tell anyone what he saw, not even Cameron. It’s a secret.

Griff is washing up, since we have to see him shirtless as often as possible. He makes a call to Anna and leaves a message. He says he wants to make sure she’s taking care of herself, and if she needs anything, he’s there.

In London, Anna tries to speak, and the doctor calls for a sedative. He prepares the injection, and she says, no, it’s a mistake. He tells Sister Caroline that the patient has to be sedated at all times.

We revisit fake Anna and Valentin’s scene from yesterday. She says she only wants him, and he rips the chimera necklace off of her. He says she just wants the Chimera, and after all this time, he’s a step ahead of her. She squawks about the necklace, and he says that can be fixed, but the watch probably can’t. He tells her that it’s just as well. He doesn’t want anyone listening in on what’s going to happen.

The doctor tells Sister Caroline that the patient is disoriented, and he doesn’t want her causing herself harm. He tells Caroline to do her job and he’ll do his. In her mind, Anna tells herself not to give in and to fight it.

Valentin says the watch explains how “Anna” knew where and when to find him, and why she didn’t want to take the watch back. She admits to spying on him, and says he’s created the life he’s wanted for himself. It includes Nina and Charlotte, but it’s the illusion of a family. They come from the same place and have made the same compromises. Nina will never understand, and maybe that’s why he wants more. Within their lies is a truth that Nina can never understand. Valentin says he understands she wanted the Chimera so much, she was willing to trash his life, so good luck seducing it out of him.

Jake tells Aiden that he wasn’t supposed to see it, and Jake is the only one who can use it. Elizabeth and Franco come back in. Elizabeth thinks Aiden is tired, so she sends him upstairs. Jake won’t let Franco touch the box, saying a magician never gives up his secrets. Franco says he has a point. Franco asks if he wants to do an encore of last year for the Nurses Ball, but Jake wants a solo. He’s going to do magic.

Griff sees Charlotte at the bar eating ice cream. I guess Port Charles has no laws prohibiting children sitting at bars like like we do IRL. He tells her that he and her father had angry words, but he didn’t mean to scare her. He asks if they can be friends. Charlotte says she’s supposed to be polite to him. He asks if he can join her.

Lulu doesn’t understand why Valentin can’t be bothered to pick up his messages. Nina says he was otherwise engaged. She asks Lulu if she didn’t want to spend more time Charlotte. They all wonder where Nelle is. Michael leaves to find out. Lulu says Nina is being quiet, and Nina says her feelings are none of Lulu’s business. Lulu says as Charlotte’s mother, she has a right to know what’s going on, and she’d care less about Nina’s life if it didn’t impact her daughter’s.

Charlotte shares her ice cream with Griff. She shows him a flyer for a spring festival at her school. He thinks she should invite everyone. She says she’ll invite him if he doesn’t fight with her poppa. He apologizes for losing his temper, and asks her to forgive him.

Nina tells Lulu sorry that she’s not getting dramatic, but she’s trying to show Charlotte that when things don’t go your way, you adjust and move on. Michael comes back, telling them that the housekeeper at Windemere hasn’t seen Nelle, even though all of her things are there, and Nelle isn’t answering her phone. He wants to go out to Windemere, and Nina tells him to call them when he finds out anything. Nina says she doesn’t have time to deal with Lulu. Lulu says Charlotte thought her father left her like Claudette did. Nina says he would never do that. Lulu says to tell Valentin it’s going to cost him. Nina says tell him herself, because she’s not going back to Windemere.

Elizabeth asks if Jake feels better about things. Franco says he was on the island and it’s a scary place. Jake says he’s not scared anymore. Franco suggests he practice some magic.

Sister Caroline says she’s grateful for the doctor saving “Alex’s” life. He tells her that he doesn’t need her gratitude, just her cooperation. Anna thinks, just help me, and Caroline tells her not to fight it, and just rest.

Valentin says “Anna” didn’t care about the reach of the Chimera when she asked him to steal it, now she’s using her powers for good? She says it’s for them. He calls her delusional and arrogant. (Who else is delusional and arrogant? Keep thinking.) She says their pull toward each other is stronger than the lies they tell themselves. He’s still alive because she cared about him. She gets testy about the Chimera, and says just tell her where it is, so it can be over. Then she corrects herself, saying then they can be together, if he wants.

Lulu asks Nina if there’s trouble. Nina says she’s going to be working into the night, and so is Valentin. Griff joins them with Charlotte, and tells them he was invited to the spring festival. Nina says it’s Charlotte’s night, and she can invite whoever she wants. Charlotte goes to get her backpack, and Lulu says Charlotte is coming home with her.

Michael calls out for Nelle at the docks. He sees the crates toppled, and finds her. He tells her she’s going to be okay, and calls 911. Yeah. You’re the jerk who left her there alone in the dark, when there have been 47 murders there.

Franco shuffles the cards. Elizabeth picks one. Jake says don’t show it to him. He makes the correct guess, a queen of hearts. Franco says they’re all queens, and turns them over. Sure enough, they are. Jake says not all, and tells Franco to look in his wallet, where he finds a king of hearts. Jake says a magician never tells his secrets, and goes upstairs. Franco says he must have done it at the park, and Elizabeth says maybe he can do magic. They agree it’s good to see him acting normal.

“Anna” tells Valentin that it’s always been about them and what they need. Passion and betrayal goes hand in hand. If he didn’t want it as much as she did, he wouldn’t have let Nina leave. She talks about what she heard when listening in, and says the marriage was never going to last, because Nina doesn’t know who he really is. He tells her to stop it. She asks if he’s going to kill her or make love to her. I was actually hoping for him ripping off her mask.

Nelle is brought into the hospital. Michael says she came to briefly and seemed to recognize him, but he thinks she was attacked. Her purse and phone are nowhere to be found. He tells them she only has one kidney. Griff wheels her in.

Nina tells Lulu not to be ridiculous; Charlotte is coming with her. Lulu asks if she’s going to sleep on the office floor, and says she’s taking her home. Nina says if the judge finds out, Lulu is going to have a problem, but Lulu says the judge will see that Valentin’s perfect life isn’t so perfect. Nina says they didn’t call her, and Lulu says that’s because she’s not Charlotte’s mother. Nina says she couldn’t love Charlotte more if she’d given birth to her. Lulu says she should want what’s best for Charlotte then.

Franco moves in for a kiss, but Elizabeth is like, not now. He says she was glad to see him at the park, but she says the problem is that he lied. He says he just left out some details. She says she thought they were in it together, and he tells her that she would have tried to talk him out of it. They argue a little, say I love you, and kiss.

“Anna” asks why Valentin is doing this, when what they want is to be together. He says they don’t always want what’s best for themselves. She asks what’s the alternative, deny what they want? She says separately, they’re forces to be reckoned with, but together, they’re unstoppable. No more games. He says she’s right. Game over. She loses.

Caroline tells real Anna, sorry, and calls her Dr. Merrick. Anna thinks she has to resist, but the more she fights, the weaker she becomes. She tells herself it’s like a current, and to slip away and rise to the surface. She tries to mess with the tube in her arm, and Caroline starts to call for Dr. Lancaster, but Anna grabs her arm.

Elizabeth says that Franco was trying too hard to protect her, and he says that she was trying too hard to protect him from Jason. He says whatever should come up in their lives together, he’ll trust her. She says from now on she’ll trust that he can take risks. He thinks they’re good at the relationship thing. They kiss some more, and Jake comes downstairs.

Charlotte says she’s ready to go home. Lulu asks if she’d like to spend night. Nina says she and Charlotte’s poppa are both working late, and she can do a sleepover. Charlotte agrees and leaves with Lulu.

Anna wonders why she’s there at the hospital. Caroline says Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat. Anna says that’s not right, and Caroline says she’s just disoriented and she’ll get the doctor.  Anna says, please don’t. She’s not Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

“Anna” tells Valentin there’s still a way they can both win. Tell her where the Chimera is, and they’ll both be free and be equals. They’ll be two people who understand each other. Valentin tells her that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, but he says that’s not true. It’s really drinking the same poison over and over, and thinking you can handle it. He’s been addicted to her, but he’s cured now. She says just like that, and he says it’s like a fever broke, and he knows what he has to do. He grabs a scarf and begins to wrap the ends around his hands, saying she’s pushed him too far. He comes toward her.

Michael remembers his last conversation with Nelle, and telling her she had no reason to stay. Griff is concerned with potential kidney trauma.

Jake forgot his magic box. Elizabeth says they’ll be back after tucking Aiden in. When they’re gone, Jake opens the box.  He takes out the Chimera. He says he wishes he was a real magician, because he’d make it disappear and would never have to think about it again.

Caroline tells Anna that she’s Alex Merrick. Anna says she doesn’t know how she got here, but the doctor is in on it. Caroline says this is her clinic, and that the doctor will explain everything. Anna stops her, and says she’s not sick. She’s being held against her will and Caroline has to help her. Dr. Lancaster overhears and makes a mean soap opera face.

Nina looks at her ring. She remembers Valentin giving it to her. Valentin walks in, and says he has so much to tell her. She asks if he was with Anna. He says he was, and thanks her for forcing him to admit what he knew all along – Anna was playing him. He says she won’t be coming between them again – ever.

Tomorrow, Valentin says he’ll get Nina to trust him again, Lulu says life is full of unexpected surprises, Martina tells Sonny that he has the most to lose, and Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on.

If Loving You is Wrong

The officer, whose name no one ever says, tells Kelly he has a warrant for her DNA. She says she had nothing to do with Ramses’ murder, but he says since she’s been in the house, they need to exclude her. Kelly starts to argue, and he says they have to eliminate everyone who was there. Kelly says she’s not doing anything without a lawyer; she doesn’t trust him. He asks if her temper gets her in trouble. He tells Kelly that she can call her lawyer, but he has an actual warrant, and asks what it’s going to be. She says fine, take it. She sees Travis and is like, wth?

Commercial break with vital information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on June 20.

Travis says that he got a call from his parents that he was wanted at the station. Kelly starts making a fuss, so Rick takes her to get the test done. The officer tells Travis that he didn’t listen to Rick when he told Travis to stay away from Kelly, so stay away. Travis insists she wanted him to pick up Justice, and asks if he has to call every time Kelly wants a favor. The officer doesn’t understand why he would help her if she’s so crazy. Travis says he’s a child of God and she asked for help, and the officer says even God wants him to use common sense. Travis says he has the evidence. The officer says he has a restraining order against her too, so stay away from both Kelly and Justice, and block her number. Travis asks if he can go, and the officer tells him have a nice day, but won’t shake his hand. Officer No-Name and I didn’t start off on the right foot, but he’s growing on me. I have the feeling he’s thinking more than he’s saying.

Kelly asks the officer if he’s just going to let Travis leave. He says he told Travis to stay away from her and block her number. She asks what happened to serving and protecting. He says he’s seen this kind of situation go bad. She says she hasn’t done anything. He says, sorry. She walks out, and he calls after her, saying that she should really let this go.

Esperanza is watching the kids in the park. She calls Kelly, and asks what happened. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza tells her that she has Justice. Kelly asks why Alex is always leaving people’s children, and Esperanza says they both called and texted her five times. Kelly tells her about how Travis was let go. Esperanza says ever since the captain’s been gone, nothing has been done right, so she’s going to check into it. Kelly says the officer gave him a warning, but Travis isn’t going to listen. She says she’s never had a man like this before. Esperanza says she has, and Kelly is doing all the right things. She asks about the restraining order, and Kelly says she has to get a new lawyer. She tells Esperanza about them wanting DNA because she was in Ramses’ house. Esperanza says she had to do it once, and it’s normal procedure. Esperanza offers to drop off Justice, and Kelly says she’ll watch Alex’s kids until she gets home. I have to add that Esperanza is not dressed like anyone dresses to play with kids in the park. She’s wearing a tight sweater that couldn’t be cut any lower, and velvet pants. And boots. I didn’t notice what kind of heels they had. I was too busy staring at her cleavage. Geez.

Natalie’s phone rings. It’s a collect call from Joey in prison. He says he’s sorry, and asks how she is. She asks if they’re taking care of him, and he says he’s fine. He tells her that it’s his fault; he shouldn’t have carried the gun. She says he shouldn’t have, but she’s glad he did. If he hadn’t had the gun, he’d be dead. She tells him she loves him, and he says he loves her too. She tells him everything is going to be okay, and she’s getting him out of there. He says that would be great, but he just wants her to be happy. The recording tells them one more minute. Natalie says he makes her happy, and Joey thanks her for saying that. She says he was doing good. He could have gone back out on the streets, but didn’t; she’s proud of him. They have thirty seconds, and say another I love you. Natalie says she’ll see him soon, and he says he’ll be waiting. She hangs up, and starts to cry.

Lushion comes in, and Natalie says she’s all right. He says no she’s not, but it’s okay. He tells her to take a break, but she says she has too much to do. He says to let it go and let her heart break. She cries on his shoulder. He says he’s got her, and rocks her like a baby. Lushion is the best.

There’s a knock at Randal’s door. It’s Julius. Randal and I make the same astonished face, and Randal says it’s a surprise. Julius asks to come in. He says that Randal has done something different with the house, but Randal says he just had the carpets cleaned. There are no carpets, so I don’t know what to think about that. Do you send carpets out to be cleaned? Julius tells Randal that his father cut him out of the will, and it’s because Randal gave the attorney an evaluation of him. He reads from it. It says, among other things, that he’s a narcissist, and for his own good, shouldn’t be in control of anything without a trustee. Randal says he’s sorry. He and Julius Sr. had a history; he’d testified in a lot of his court cases. Julius says his father is gone now, but he’s going to give Randal an opportunity to right this wrong. He wants him to rewrite the evaluation. Randal says sure. Julius says make sure he gets it to the attorney, who’s his attorney now.

Julius says he heard some racist wanted to hang Randal. Randal says it’s true. Julius says if the evaluation had gone to the court, he would have wished they’d succeeded. He changes his mind, saying that he’ll pick up the evaluation himself. Randal says he’ll have it by tomorrow, and the next one will be so much better. He tells Julius that his attorney will have to sign and notarize it. Julius says when his attorney’s hand is better, he will, explaining that he was stabbed with a letter opener. He asks Randal if they’re friends, and Randal says sure. Julius hugs him. He tells Randal, burn him again, he’ll be the one who hangs Randal. Randal isn’t having the best week, but that’s okay with me.

Eddie bursts into Brad’s office. Brad asks Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie gets loud about Lushion banging Brad’s wife. He tells him on top of it, Lushion is undercover FBI. Brad tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says he’s working on proof. Brad says he has a client coming, and Eddie has to leave. Alex walks in, and Eddie wastes no time in calling her a slut. Brad says Eddie is leaving, but Eddie says he’s not letting her work her snake charm on him, because he doesn’t understand what a snake charmer does. Brad pushes him out the door and I laugh. Eddie is a borderline comic character to begin with, since he’s so ridiculous.

Brad tells Alex, sorry, and asks what’s up. She says she doesn’t know; she doesn’t even know why she’s there. She just wanted to see him. She says she’s sorry. She knows she’s said it a million times, and Brad says they both have. She says he didn’t do anything, and he says he called her parents. She says she did that too. He asks what now, and she says she wants to thank him for saving her son. He tells her she’s welcome. She knows the kind-hearted man she fell in love with is still in there, and wants to thank him.

Idiot Eddie comes back in with Marcie. Brad pushes him back out the door again, and I laugh again. Brad asks what Marcie is doing there. She says she came to take him to dinner, and calls him her handsome lover. Brad says he told her to stop doing this. Alex says bye, and Marcie taunts her as she leaves. Brad asks why she’s doing this, and she says, sorry. Brad tells her that he can’t go to dinner, and Marcie asks what Alex wanted. Brad says she thanked him for saving her child. I wonder why Marcie acts like she’s high half the time. He tells her he has to get back to work, and she leaves. Someone get Brad some Tylenol.

Pete calls Lushion and asks if it’s true that Andrew is missing. Lushion says it is, and Pete asks if it was Eddie. Lushion thinks it was, and Pete says he has to be stopped. Lushion is thinking it needs to go to the FBI, but thinks they’re already on to it. He asks Pete why he thinks the FBI guy is outside his door. Pete asks about the tape, and Lushion says they couldn’t find it. He tells Pete that the most important thing is stopping Eddie. Lushion says the FBI is already outside his door, but if he wants to, go for it. Pete says they have to find Andrew, and Lushion says they’re trying. Pete thinks Ben might know. He was outside trying to distract the officer when Eddie tried to put a needle in Pete’s IV. Lushion says to make sure he tells them that too. Pete thinks Andrew might be dead, since Eddie is a stone-cold killer. Lushion tells him to tell the officer everything, and says he’ll drop by later.

Randal goes to Marcie and Brad’s apartment, with the excuse that he brought her mail. He talks about what a dump it is and she says it’s better than a shed for sex. She tells him to get out, but he won’t leave. He asks what’s in the other room. She says the bed where they have sex every night, now go. He says he’s not done yet, and she says fine, he can watch how she greets Brad. Randal says if she has to say how great he is, he must be terrible. Marcie says she used to say the same about him, and pretends to fake it. She says it’s called acting, and asks why he’s there. He thought she might want to know the child might not be his after all. She doesn’t care. He says it might be Lushion’s and she tells him to get out with all of it. She says he’s trying to get her to make trouble for Natalie, but he says he already told her, and he’s surprised they didn’t break up. Marcie says they’re solid, and he says maybe Natalie isn’t as “ghetto-dumb” as he thought. Randal says it smells like broke in the apartment, and Marcie says in a minute it will smell like glorious sex. She says next time he wants to spread a lie, find someone stupid. He tells her he misses her and that she must miss it. She tells him to get out. He finally leaves.

Kelly has a flat tire. She changes her shoes, saying if it’s not one thing, it’s another. She opens the trunk and Travis pops out, scaring us both. He throws her down, and puts his hand over her mouth. He asks why she went to the cops, and threatens to kill her. She struggles and tries to scream, and he puts one hand over her mouth and the other on her throat.

Next time, Lushion can’t get anything out of Alex about Andrew, Brad talks to Alex, and Lushion tells Eddie to get out of his face. There’s one more episode before the finale.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We flash back to the crew’s night out and Bobby going apesh*t on Hannah for basically no reason. She asks what she’s done to him, and he says she threw him under the bus. Malia says they weren’t talking about him, but he doesn’t believe it. Hannah keeps asking what she said, and he finally closes the door in her face. She calls him a steroid injected d*ckhead, and says she’ll be remembering the conversation for a long time.

In the morning, Hannah and Malia whisper about what happened. Hannah says sometimes Bobby’s ego gets overly inflated, and Malia is like, sorry. Meanwhile, Bobby is talking smack about Hannah to the deckhands. Hannah tells Lauren that Bobby went psycho. Lauren says she doesn’t remember Hannah ever saying anything bad about him. In her interview, Lauren tells us that she was supposed to go on a date with Bobby, and he brought a couple of other girls along. They ran into Hannah, who couldn’t believe it, and told Lauren it was disrespectful. That never happened to me, but I’m pretty sure if it had, I would not have gone on the date.

The primary guest is a dude named Jim aka Mr. Skin, who has a website devoted to nakey celebs. His wife Michele and some key employees will also be in attendance. Hannah remembers the Tilted Kilt cruise, and how it didn’t end well with one of the crew members. As usual, there are a million dietary restrictions, which are different for everyone, and the guests also want to film a naked news segment.

Bobby tells Lauren that he wants to talk to Hannah, but Lauren doesn’t want to get involved. He says it’s happening, and she tells him to work it out with Hannah himself. He says he’s pulling her in and she’d better have his back. Bobby put the d in d-bag.

Chef Adam goes shopping at the outdoor market. Supplies are brought on board. In her interview, Hannah says there’s no coming back from the altercation with Bobby.  Wes almost puts regular cardboard in the microwave.

Bobby apologizes for insulting Hannah, BUT (Dr. Phil would say that negates the apology) says all he could think about is her trashing him to Lauren. Hannah says all she told Lauren was that it was unfair of him to bring other women on their date. A-hole Bobby calls Lauren to come to the deck. He’s annoyed that Hannah called him aggressive. Maybe he doesn’t know what that word means, because his picture is the definition. Lauren joins them, saying to call her the liar. She says they were drinking, and she doesn’t even remember what was said. She asks why he’s so upset, and he says the two of them are playing games. Lauren asks to go back to her work, and Bobby asks why she doesn’t go screw Ben. Ben gets my vote, but where did that come from, especially since he’s not on this charter?

In his interview, Bobby talks about taking Lauren somewhere, and her leaving with Ben. That actually sounds like poetic justice, considering that he brought extras to their date. Hannah says this has nothing to do with her, but Bobby insists they’re conspiring against him. Lauren calls Ben. She tells him she’s getting along great with Hannah. In her interview, she says that she and Ben hit it off, and he’s more her type than Bobby. She tells Ben about Bobby being a jerk, and telling her to go off with him. She tells Ben she misses him, and he says ditto.

Bobby calls his mommy. He tells her he’s been blindsided and duped. He says he got screwed over by Lauren. His mother’s heart is broken. In his interview, he tells us that he took this job to meet women. How’s that workin’ for ya? He starts bawling about some woman named Alex. He claims her mother thought he didn’t make enough money. His mom heaps him with praise, and makes raise-the-roof hand gestures.

Hannah has a stew meeting. She explains what Mr. Skin does, how tacky it is, and tells them there’s going to be a naked news filming.

Captain Sandy wants to make sure the deckhands can drop anchor successfully, and has them practice. In his interview, Bobby says that the captain doesn’t get on you when you make a mistake, but you feel it, and it’s worse. I translate that to mean it’s tough for Bobby to actually work and do things right.

Malia chats with Wes while they hose off the deck. Bugs gets a call from her mother. Her grandmother has passed away. Hannah says whatever she needs, she has. The captain talks about losing her mother when she was on a boat, and tells Bugs she’s there for her. In her interview, Bugs tells us how close they were, and how she wants to pull herself together, because it’s what her grandmother would want.

Everyone gets ready to greet the guests. After they arrive, Hannah does the tour. Lauren wants to stay as busy as possible to keep her mind off of idiot Bobby. Captain Sandy instructs the deckhands, while Mr. Skin instructs his employees about the photos he wants. Adam chops fruit. Hannah gives him a list of guest demands. All gluten free. The guests begin to film, and the captain is concerned about a family-centric boat coming past.

Lauren says it’s awkward with Bobby, who’s going out of his way to ignore her. Bugs is asked for help with a shot at the hot tub, and says there are unmentionable parts staring her right in the eyeballs. Wes is hoping not to mess up the anchor with all the naked ladies around.

The lunch table isn’t naked, and is beautifully adorned with a beach theme. Lunch is served. One of the guests is mistakenly served octopus when she opted out of that, but chooses not to get a replacement dish. She says that Adam’s cooking is so good, she might become a convert. Mr. Skin mentions a breast reduction, and one of the women doesn’t understand why anyone would do that. Bobby says you can’t not look.

Bobby wants Malia to know the fun Bobby instead of the pissed off Bobby. That should last all of five minutes. Max is impressed with how well Bugs is holding up. It’s dinnertime. In his interview, Adam says he’s never eaten raw, as one guest has requested, but if something makes him uncomfortable, bring it on. Lauren thinks Bobby has built up resentment from before. Another gorgeous table and meal is presented.

Lauren asks to talk to Bobby. She hates confrontation, and wonders if he wants a hug or milkshake. In her interview, Bugs says losing her grandma is one of many challenges, and she’s proud of how she held up. Lauren tells Bobby that she’s sorry she hurt him, however she hurt him. He says he jumped to conclusions about Hannah talking smack about him. Lauren says so did she, confusing Bobby. That’s probably not hard, but it does sound like she’s waffling. She tells him that he needs to own up to things. He’s 31 and a grown-ass man. He got drunk, and attacked both her and Hannah. They end up with no resolution and time wasted. No surprise. I don’t like the way Lauren is playing both sides – no doubt to avoid a conflict, but just making it worse – but Bobby is one of those people who will never admit he’s wrong.

Captain Sandy wants a rock to tie on; it helps to create a private sanctuary among the cliffs for the guests. Bobby complains to Wes in the crew mess. Lauren suggests they take it to their room instead of making it awkward. In the galley, Lauren asks if she can talk to Hannah. Hannah jokes around, asking Adam what he did to her. They go out on the deck, and Lauren tells Hannah about Bobby talking smack to the deckhands about her, making her uncomfortable. In her interview, Hannah says she has no time for tears and tantrums, but she’s concerned with Lauren’s well-being at work. She tells her not to let it affect her mentally.

Another glorious meal happens. Max and Wes go out to put a chain on the rocks they’ll anchor to. The guests are impressed with the location, which is beyond beautiful, with a private grotto. Bobby is stressed because he knows the captain is watching. She tells them excellent job. More food! A sink starts to overflow. Adam, Hannah, and Malia all help Lauren, who is desperately bailing water out of it. Hannah says it’s their job to make sure the guests don’t know what’s happening. The water finally starts to recede.

Some guests take photos and others play in the water. The wind picks up, and the boat is getting too close to the cliffs. Captain Sandy wants Max to push the boat with the tinder, but he seems to be ignoring her.

Next time, Lauren thinks it’s unfair, Adam gets stressed and snippy, and there are issues with the anchor chain.

🍸 I checked out What Happens at The Abbey. It looks like a trash heap. The Abbey is a celebrity bar in Hollywood that’s gone through several incarnations. One bartender tells us if you have a dream, it’s the place to make it come true, but I find that hard to believe. Another says it’s the only place where a lesbian and a straight woman will fight over who’s going to have a gay man’s baby. I’ll take their word for it. Some guy named Daniel tells us he started the man bun, and I hate him already. After the first couple of minutes, I wonder if I can even watch this, and then Brandi Glanville walks in, and I’m pretty sure I can’t. She’s just as creepy as ever. As a matter-of-fact, most of these people seem creepy. And needless to say, extremely into themselves. There was an upside when Tori Spelling arrived. I’ve loved her ever since I saw her in Trick. If you’ve never seen that movie, I highly recommend it, especially if you like musicals. The plot revolves around a gay guy who’s writing a musical, and Tori is his best friend. She also has the Best. Monologue. Ever. Said guy, played by Christian Campbell, is also trying to get his date alone, but everything possible happens to thwart them. It’s very sweet and clever, and his song that keeps cropping up, Enter You, will be your ear worm forever. The fact that I got so off track just goes to show how bad The Abbey is, and how I want to get it out of my mind as quickly as possible.

🚛 I also watched one of my favorites, Hoarders. I also love Hoarding: Buried Alive, but, same thing. They were airing quite a few of them, and the last episode I caught showed two fails, which is unusual. One was a woman who was of the mindset that when the world was in its last days, people would come to her for stuff. Because we’ll all need moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She just wouldn’t accept that she had a mental disorder or accept the help, although for a while, they moved things from pile to pile. At the end, Corey talked about her victim mentality, and that she’ll have the perverse satisfaction of thinking that she’s been screwed over again. The other hoarder was also a woman, and they were able to clear out her place, but she wasn’t happy because of what she had to give up. More moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She had a really cute home when it was over too. I thought it was brave of the program to air unsuccessful efforts.

Why should they have to lose any more than they’d lost? – Hoarding: Buried Alive