What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 Once Upon a Time

The Evil Queen arrives at a village, looking for Snow White. She wants the villagers to see justice served, and tells the guards to gather them. Her father tells her that she should show mercy, but she says she came for a heart. She finds nothing but straw though. She says someone is going to tell her where Snow went. She tells them that Snow doesn’t love them; she does. Tinkerbell appears, and says that the Evil Queen doesn’t care about love. She was there when the queen threw her chance at love away. The Evil Queen asks Tinkerbell if she shouldn’t be sleeping in a tulip somewhere, and the fairy says she used pixie dust to show the queen her future and the man she should be with. The queen says nothing dictates what she should do, and Tinkerbell says pixie dust only shows the possibilities; the rest is up to her. The Evil Queen says she’s happy with how things are, but Tinkerbell says she believes she doesn’t deserve love. The Evil Queen says she’ll spare Snow’s life to show that she loves everyone. She tells Tinkerbell that she hopes she enjoyed the show of mercy, since it’s the last. I guess she doesn’t love them that much.

In Storybrooke, the Evil Queen tells Robin that Regina wants to keep her dark side a secret. He says he might have the solution, but she says it’s not New York. He belongs in the realm she created with her wish, but she wants him to steal something first.

They go to a graveyard. Robin asks what this is about. The Evil Queen tells him to stop asking questions and dig.

Snow and Henry look at Emma’s ring. Everyone is happy about the engagement. Henry asks how Hook proposed, but Emma says she didn’t give him a chance. She says that Gideon is still out there, and she has to deal with that. Regina and Zelena join them. Regina tells them the snake got loose, and if she shook off her mortal coil, there’s no telling what evil she might be up to.

Robin asks the Evil Queen if they can’t use magic. She says what fun would that be? Robin unearths a box. It has the shears in it. She tells him that they’re capable of setting someone free of their fate. She’s going to use them to finally separate herself from Regina, and then she can destroy her.

Hook sees Captain Nemo on the docks. The captain says, you can tell the ocean your secrets, but will she tell you hers? ♫ Hi-diddly dee! A pirate’s life for me! ♫ He didn’t sing that; it just popped into my head. It’s time for him to go back to The Nautilus, and he wonders what Hook is going to do with his life. Hook says now that he’s found the woman he wants to marry, his past has caught up to him. He doesn’t get a happy ending. Nemo asks who knows Hook’s secrets, and Hook says only him. Nemo tells him that he must tell Emma the truth or keep it to himself forever. He tells Hook to seek forgiveness, because whatever happened will always stay with him.

The Evil Queen wonders if Henry is looking for the pen that’s in her hand. He’s surprised that she’s managed to de-snake herself. He wants the pen back, but she thinks he’s going to write her out of the story. She says that’s what Regina wants. Henry says there’s good in her like there’s bad in Regina, and that means she can change. He doesn’t know what he was going to do. She finally got her revenge, and is she happy? She says she will be. He asks what she’s planning. She says it’s something that he won’t like, but he’ll realize it’s for the best. She gives him something for Regina, and says no matter what anyone else says, she loves him.

Back in the day, the Evil Queen’s father says they need to talk. She says she knows he’ll say revenge won’t make her happy, but she wants to find out for herself. He says he’s there to help her get it. He talks about how happy she was riding, and she says that’s the day she met Daniel. Her father doesn’t believe that killing Snow will help her, but he thinks he can get her what she wants. He gives her a map that will lead to something that can find Snow.

Forward in Storybrooke, Regina shows the others what the Evil Queen sent to her. It’s a page from the book that’s been ripped out – Robin and Regina kissing, an ending that will never be. The Evil Queen wants her to know that she’ll hurt Robin unless Regina faces her. They think it’s a trap, but she doesn’t want to leave Robin. Henry says maybe he was wrong and the Evil Queen can’t change. Regina wants to go alone; otherwise, she’ll hurt everyone she cares about and she can’t let that happen. The queen is getting what she wants – their fight ends today.

Robin says this wasn’t what he had in mind by wanting the queen to tie him up. He’s bound to a chair, and gets the rope undone, but it’s enchanted rope, so it ties itself again. He says all she’ll do is make a martyr of Regina. He tells her to release him; he doesn’t belong here, and neither does she. He thinks maybe he’s there to save her. She says she doesn’t need saving. He says she could use a place for a fresh start. Regardless, in a town full of heroes, a villain like her doesn’t stand a chance. She says the only one who doesn’t stand a chance is Regina.

In the Enchanted Forest, the Evil Queen’s father leads her to a portal. She says it’s dripping with light magic, and he tells her he found it through Tinkerbell. The Evil Queen says he lied; this wasn’t about getting her revenge. He tells her it’s about getting something better. They go through the portal, and see a statue of Cupid. He tells the queen that it’s Cupid’s arrow; it’s a tool. She can use it to see who loves her most, and use it to find him. The Evil Queen says she thought he was on her side. She says she’s getting what she came for – revenge.

On our side of the border, Hook is about to burn the dreamcatcher in the fireplace, and flashes back to killing David’s father. Emma sees him, and says it was him. He says he tried to tell her, but she found the ring and he didn’t want to ruin the happiness. He says he was a broken man for a long time. She says he was going to burn his memories, and he says he was ashamed and scared he was going to lose everything. She says it’s not easy, but he would have been forgiven. He says he’s destroyed his own family, and he didn’t know how he could live with destroying hers. She tells him that they can’t hide things from each other, and he should know that. That’s why she thought they were together, and when he’s ready for that, they can talk. She gives him back the ring.

Hook finds Captain Nemo, and asks where he’s headed. The captain says destinations never matter, and asks what happened. Hook says the captain gave him good advice, but he didn’t take it. He’s not the man Emma needs him to be, and he has to find that man. The captain once said that the Nautilus could help a man discover who he could be. Nemo says get on board.

Regina goes home, and the Evil Queen shows up, poof! in a puff of purple smoke. She shows Regina the shears and says she’s going to destroy her.

Meanwhile, back at the Cupid statue, the Evil Queen smushes up some flowers, and says now we’re getting somewhere. She’s going to find Snow. Her father says not everyone gets a second chance at love, and this arrow will allow her to gaze on who she loves most. She says there’s a thin line between love and hate, as Martin Lawrence learned in the movie of the same name. The tip of the arrow turns black, and she says that now she can gaze on who she hates the most, Snow White. She shoots the arrow.

Moving on. Regina says it’s always about revenge, and she’s ready. She says the town isn’t big enough for both of them, and the Evil Queen says they finally agree on something. The shears glow, and purple lightening bolts shoot between them. The queen tells Regina, see you on the other side, and cuts the bolts. Regina says, let’s finish this. They both make swords appear and start to duel.

Rewinding, the arrow heads to the castle. The Evil Queen says Snow must know she’s not there, and wants to steal from her. She goes back home, but can’t find Snow. She says the arrow should have led her to gaze on the person she hates most. She sees herself in a mirror and smashes it.

The Storybrooke duel continues. It must be weird fighting with yourself. Says Tyler Durden. Regina throws a disco ball at the Evil Queen. The Evil Queen throws her against the wall. She says Regina has been fooling herself. She’s all that will ever be inside of her. Regina says she’s wrong, and the tree mural wallpaper comes to life, trapping the Evil Queen in its branches. Cool! Regina says what’s inside her is real, and the Evil Queen can’t take it away. She takes the queen’s heart. The queen says she hates her. Regina starts to crush the heart, and sees herself in the mirror and remembers. She says she doesn’t anymore, and releases the queen. She says she’s going to do what they never could – be brave for the both of them and choose love over hate. She takes both of their hearts and puts them together for a moment. She puts the hearts back in their respective owners.

The Evil Queen wonders what’s happening to her. Regina says she gave her some love, and she’s taking back some of their darkness. She’s part of her. They’re part of each other, whether she likes it or not. Regina says she loves herself, and so should the queen. There’s a one-sided hug, and the queen tentatively hugs back.

Regina asks if Robin is okay. The Not-As-Evil-Now Queen says she kept her word, and sent him where he wanted to go. She says Gold was too busy worrying about his son to mind the shop. Regina is sorry she didn’t get to say good-by, but the queen thinks maybe it’s better that way. She asks if Regina regrets not walking into the tavern that day, but Regina can’t imagine a life without Henry and all of her Storybrooke friends. It wasn’t her happy ending, but it gave her hope when she needed it most. The queen says she wouldn’t mind some hope. She not sure what she’s supposed to do. She needs a fresh start but has no clue where that is. Regina thinks she knows who can help.

Henry asks where he should send her, and Regina says where she can start over and have a new life. Emma frets that it’s against the rules to change things. Henry says he’s not supposed to affect those in his book, but she’s not in it. Zelena and Snow are worried she’ll still seek revenge. Snow says she wants to believe in her, but not everyone is redeemable. Regina tells Snow that she’s given the queen what she needs to make the right choices. Zelena says don’t blame her if she wakes up to a crushed heart. The queen says that won’t happen – at least she hopes not. She’s truly sorry, and promises to do the right thing. She’s sorry for what she put Snow through again.

Henry calls the queen “mom,” and she says he never called her that before. They hug. Henry asks for his pen and if she’s ready. As he writes, the queen thanks Regina. Regina tells her to promise she won’t waste a single minute. Henry writes that the Evil Queen went to a place where she got a fresh start, and she disappears into some sparkly lights. They wonder where she went, and Regina has her ideas. I have an idea too – did anyone have her take the curse off of Snow and David?

The queen appears in a tavern. She wonders where she is, and then sees Robin. She sits across from him. He asks if she’s kidnapping him again, and requests to finish his ale first. She says that’s not what she’s doing, and he says her villain plan must not have worked out. She says she’s okay with that, since she had a change of heart (wink-wink). She was wondering if maybe she could buy him a drink. He says it’s his round; he’ll buy her one. They clink glasses.

Back to Storybrooke. Snow finds Hook on the docks. He asks if everything is okay. She says Regina did it – she vanquished the Evil Queen, and gave her a happy ending. She didn’t think it was possible after all these years, but it was. Love can save even the darkest souls. She says Emma told her about the engagement, and she couldn’t be happier. She tells him that Emma waited a long time for someone to share her life with, and Snow is happy it’s him. She leaves, and he looks at the ring. Oh, go on. Tell her.

Emma comes home to a dark house.

Nemo asks if Hook is ready for adventure. Hook says he’s going back to Emma, because even villains get second chances, and hopefully third ones. The Nautilus starts to submerge. The captain says he didn’t give the order. Gideon appears, and says that he did. He tells Hook that for what he has planned, Hook can’t be in Storybrooke. He disappears, poof! in a puff of red smoke. The Nautilus starts to go down into the water as Gideon watches from the docks.

Emma looks out window. She turns out the lights.

Next time, Emma wants to move on, Aladdin is back, and Ariel joins the team.

The Walking Dead

Tara talks about the women she met at Oceanside, and how they have guns. Enid asks Carl if he ever thinks about who he killed. We see the Alexandrians taking boats to the island.

Maggie teaches gardening at Hilltop.

Rick gives Michonne a boost up a tree. She asks when the clock starts, and Rick says as soon as she’s up there. Jesus and Daryl put together a bomb. Jesus says he should have tried harder to stop Rosita and Sasha. Daryl says they can take care of themselves. He knows people have to die.

Sasha has been taken prisoner. A dude asks if she’s okay, and she asks for water. He introduces himself as David. He says last night was a sh*tstorm, and he’s the guy who gave them the rope to tie her up. He says if he gives her water – which he’s not supposed to – will she do something she’s not supposed to for him? He asks how thirsty she is, tearing her shirt, and she tells him to go to hell and headbutts him. He says fighting will just make it last longer. Negan comes by and asks what he’s doing in there. Answering his own question, Negan says he’s trying to rape this woman, and it’s unacceptable behavior. Rape is against the rules there, and he wouldn’t want to be somewhere that was let fly. He takes out a Crocodile Dundee sized knife, and says David crossed the line. David says sorry, and Negan stabs him through the neck, saying he doesn’t accept the apology. He tells the guard to get Sasha a new shirt, and tells her he’s sorry she had to see that. He adds sorry about the rope, but she caused one hell of a fracas.

Negan says he remembers her. She was there, and he gets it now. He tells her that she’s got beach ball sized ladynuts. Ha-ha! The phrases this guy comes up with! He asks if Rick put her up to this. She calls Rick his bitch, and says no. He says that’s not the way it’s going to go; this could be the beginning. He puts the knife in front of her. He says she can use it to take him out, but since he’s above her, holding a baseball bat, that would be a bad idea. She could slit her wrists, but that would be a shame. She could do nothing, and let David eat her face, which would also be a shame. Or she could save herself, and join the cause. He knows what he’d do. He tells her that he’s a man short, and he’d like to harness the heat. She could help him run this place. That’s all it was ever about, and still can be for her. He knows it’s hard to picture, but they all have sh*t to get over. He tells her to think about it. No pressure. He apologizes again. He asks her to understand that they’re not monsters.

Eugene brings supplies to Sasha. He explains the pillow isn’t hypoallergenic. He shares that there was debate about him coming, and was told he’s on his own. He says taking up with the management was indeed the right select for him, and suggests she do the same. He says he was full tilt delusional, thinking he could be brave. Referring to Abe and Glenn, he says to see someone brave get killed like that, and then a repeat, he couldn’t. Being there means he’ll never have to again, and neither will she if she says yes. He says Abe would want her to. Then says, no, he wouldn’t. He does though. Things have changed, and they can change with them. They have to. She tells him to go.

Eugene makes a sad face. He looks at David, and says he’s starting to…and Sasha says go. He leaves, and she looks sad. David starts twitching, and opens his dead eyes. Sasha looks surprised, which surprises me.

Maggie is outside the Hilltop wall, unearthing a tree for transplanting. Gregory joins her, and she says she’s never seen him outside the wall. He asks where her friends are, and she says they’re looking for something they need. He wonders why she’s still there. He says it would be better if they could present a united front, and she says it would be easier if they were a united front. He says she’s right, and he needs to be more forthcoming. She says it’s never too late to change, and if he’s serious, she’ll talk with him later. She asks him to keep watch while she digs out the tree. He has a knife. He gets close to her. He makes a lot of faces, then looks like he has a headache, and doesn’t follow through. He sees a zombie, and Maggie says she’ll do it. He says he’s there to protect the pregnant woman. She asks if he’s done it before, and he says he wouldn’t be there if he hadn’t. He runs up to the zombie, chickens out when he gets close, and then says fine, do it. Yikes! Another one jumps him while Maggie is struggling with the first one. He calls for help, like she doesn’t have enough to do. She stabs zombie one in the head, and then deals with Gregory’s zombie. He pukes. Some guys are walking by, and stop to look at them. Maggie says he hasn’t killed one before; he’s learning. One of the guys says that’s not what he told them. Gregory thanks her.

On the island, everything is all idyllic. Tara is waiting for Tanya in her cabin. When Tanya walks in, Tara draws a gun and says hi. Tanya says they should have just killed her. Tara says she’ll be glad she didn’t. Cindy walks in and says Tara promised. Tara says she did, but she didn’t have a choice. She says her friends are out there, and they’re going to take this place. They’re going to fight the Saviors, and Oceanside should join. Tara says the Saviors came back. They killed her friends, her girlfriend, and took over. They’re doing whatever the Saviors want them to, but they’re going to fight back. With Oceanside, they’d have an army. Tara says they’ll win; just talk to Rick. She says she can stop it, but they have to tell her right now. She didn’t want to break her promise, but the world doesn’t belong to fair people. Tanya says if they take the guns, they’ll be killing them. Cindy thinks they should talk to Rick and try to stop it, but Tara says they can’t.

Explosions start happening. Michonne acts as a sniper just in case. Daryl tells a group to put their hands on their heads, and Jesus adds please.

Tanya asks if Tara’s people are killing her people. Tara says the bombs are outside the walls. She tells them that it’s time to move. They get the better of Tara. Cindy holds the gun on Tara and finds out it’s not loaded. Tara tells her to just talk to Rick. Outside, everyone is being rounded up. Gabriel tells them that they want it to be as simple and peaceful as possible, and they can make it that way. Rick says they made a lot of noise, and want to wrap this up quick. No one needs to get hurt. It’s about what they need.

Tanya comes out holding Tara in front of her. She says no one is taking anything, and to leave or Tara dies. Rick says nothing has changed, and to put the gun down. Tanya says they just want to be left alone. Rick says to let go or they’ll get killed. Cindy tells the people that Rick wants to fight the Saviors. Somebody says they tried that once, and it didn’t’ turn out so well. Tara says they’re going to win, with or without them. Cindy says it’s over, and Tanya says after everything they’ve been through, it’s futile to want to fight them. Cindy knocks her out while she’s yapping away, and here come the zombies. Rick tells everyone to shield the children.

They get ready to kill the zombie horde, and it’s a bizarre bit of overkill. They waste a lot of bullets for people who are concerned with gathering guns. To their credit, there are also a few head stabbers. Rick shakes hands with one of the women. Tanya tells them they’re not fighting; take their damn guns and go.

Meanwhile, back at Neganland, Negan sees that Sasha has dispatched David. She says you win, and he says no, you win. He tells the guard to get someone to clean the mess up. He takes the knife back, and says she has a ways to go before he’ll believe she’s on board. Baby steps. Still, the way she surrendered just now was a good start. They have to work on some things, but he’ll make it fun. He says a little birdie told him that Rick and company are up to no good, and she’s going to find them a win-win. He says he’s going to show her a taste of what they have to offer, and tomorrow is going to be a big day.

Gregory gets out the liquor. He looks at himself in the mirror. He pours himself a stiff one, and looks at a map. He calls for his driver and tells him to pack a bag.

Eugene knocks at Sasha’s door he says it might not seem like it now, but she also knows the correct select. She tells him that she was wrong. She says she’s trapped, and he has to help her. He says he’ll help her get used to the idea, but she says he has to get her a weapon. One way or another, they’ll use her to hurt their friends, and she’d rather not give them the chance. If they have her, Rick’s people will get hurt. She has to die; it’s the only way. She knows that Eugene won’t stop them, but don’t let them use her. She begs him to give her something to stop this. The worst thing about this whole scene is that Sasha is behind a closed door – we only see it from Eugene’s POV. I would think they could afford better sound at this point, but the dialogue was muffled. I was straining to hear what she was saying, and it’s not like I couldn’t hear the rest of the show. Eugene says he’ll consider it. We finally see Sasha and she’s smiling. She thanks Eugene. So I get why we only saw things from his side, but take a few bucks from the zombie budget and hire an extra boom person for the day.

Jesus gathers baskets of guns. That’s funny, since usually we hear about Jesus gathering baskets of bread and/or fish. Morgan asks if they really need all of it, and Rick says they do. Carl tells Enid that he thinks of the people he didn’t kill too. Tara tells Cindy that they’ll bring them back when it’s over. Cindy says she wants to go; some of them do, but not all, and it has to be all. She tells Tara that Tanya says they’ll die, but Tara says she’s been wrong before. Tara asks where she is and Cindy says she’s lying down. Tara thanks her for saving her life. Rachel asks if they’re taking it all, and Tara says yep, see you later, and gives her the finger. Rick asks if she’s okay, and she says he’s right; she doesn’t have to feel bad.

Commercial break with important information. Fear the Walking Dead will be back in June.

Sasha paces as much as you can in a tiny cell. There’s a knock. It’s Eugene. He says he’s given things a think, and he’s decided to grant her request. He slips something under the door. It’s a pill. He says certain death in 20-30 minutes. She starts crying because I guess she wanted a weapon. Did she really think it was going to be that easy? Eugene says that she’s honest, brave, and self-aware, and he owes her some things. He says he doesn’t want her to go, but it sounds like she’s gone already. Sasha wonders what the blip she’s going to do now.

Rick and company get back to Alexandria. Jesus asks about Sasha. Rosita says there’s someone here. It’s Dwight in a cell. Daryl goes ballistic, and Rick holds him back. Rosita says he wants to help them. Rick asks if that’s true, and Dwight says it is. Rick looks into Dwight’s eyes and says okay. He points the gun at him and says get on your knees.

Next time, an extended finale. Thanks for the heads up. BTW, I’ve really been appreciating how these shows run a few minutes over the hour as a general rule now. Why? Anyway, next time, Dwight wants Negan dead (get in line), Negan wants Sasha to get things back on track, and Ezekiel an Shiva join the fray.

💋 Feud: Bette and Joan is the best! Learning all the behind-the-scenes politics has been interesting. While it’s no secret that movie stars of the studio era had to play the game, there were power struggles going on with directors and producers as well. My two takeaways for this week are: I’m glad I never had to work with Frank Sinatra, and I wish I had a Mamacita.

🍑 My takeaway from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is how frightened I am that Porsha wants to breed. And that there’s someone willing to help with that.