(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Five minutes to the Nurses Ball. Maxie tells Nina that she has to be there has to be on the red carpet, not making grand entrance. Sydney Valjean (Chandra Wilson) joins Nina, who thought she’d be late. Sydney says, never, especially when she’s hosting. Nina reminds her that she’s co-hosting, and Sydney says she knows it’s Nina’s night. Maxie is live tweeting, and Nina tells Sydney to go easy on the guests’ outfits, but she says she stands for truth in fashion. She’ll be cordial, but she’s not going to lie. Nina says if someone is wearing something… challenging, she’ll take it. Starting with the first guest. She’s extra.
In Toronto, Curtis and Laura are tied back to back. Curtis comes to, and tells Laura, wake up. They have trouble. She opens her eyes, and says, oh my God.
Carly comes downstairs in a sparkly red gown. Sonny tells her that she looks great, and asks what the verdict is. Are they staying or going?
Nina welcomes the viewers to the 2019 GH Nurses Ball. She’s being joined by Crimson magazine’s New York fashion editor, Sydney Valjean. It’s the first Ball Sydney has been to in person, and she’s ready to get the night started. Nina says for once, they’re on the same page. She usually saves this guest for last, but suggests they get to the good stuff first, and introduces Lucy, who’s wearing a mosaic patterned dress with a fishtail hem. Sydney says she looks stunning. Lucy gushes over Sydney, saying she’s such a fangirl. Nina says she’s right there too. Can Lucy give the audience a taste of what to expect? and Lucy says, no. She doesn’t want to ruin the delicious surprises. She goes over to Maxie, who compliments her dress, which Lucy calls delirious. She says, let the Nurses Ball begin.
Doc and Ava come in, and Sydney says Doc is looking dapper. Ava says, isn’t he though? Ava is wearing a black gown with sleeves of silver fringe dripping down to a cuff at the wrist. Nina tells her, kudos for being bold. She asks what they’re looking forward to, and Doc appreciates the raising of money for a truly worthy cause. Ava says they want to help any way they can. They move on to Maxie. Ava asks if there’s something wrong, and Maxie says she’s just surprised to see them together. Ava says, it will take some getting used to.
Nina introduces Scotty as lawyer extraordinaire. Does he want to say hello to the audience? He says, hello… and goodbye. Maxie asks who he’s wearing, and he says, expensive. She wonders who has his trousers in a twist, and he looks at Doc and Ava, saying, those two are all wrong, Maxie says, agreed, and he says he wants to make it right. He blocks the camera with his hand.
Laura tells Curtis, he’s gone. That poor woman. He killed her after she helped him. Curtis says, he killed her because he knew she was going to help them. He doesn’t think Ryan is coming back any time soon. It’s up to them to get themselves out. She says, please tell her that he has a knife in his pocket. He thinks the corners of the chair is sharp enough. If they work together, they can free themselves. She says, waita minute. She smells gas.
Carly tells Sonny that Josslyn is definitely not going, but wants them to go. Sonny doesn’t want to, but Carly doesn’t know. She asks what he thinks, and he says it would be good for Carly if she went. She knew he’d say that, and he wonders why she asked. She tells him, next time tell her what she wants to hear, Sonny says he secretly hates this night. It reminds him of Stone, and how he’s gone, and the others who have died; but he hears Stone in his head, telling him, get off your ass, and go, so he goes. He sees people propping each other up, having a good time, and loving each other. He sees what good it does, and he’s glad he put his tux on and went. Carly says they’ll wait for Kristina to get there.
Franco picks up Elizabeth at the hospital. She looks like a princess, in blue sleeveless gown with a train. He says, wow, and she tells him that he looks handsome. He says she’s so beautiful, and kisses her. Epiphany tells them to get a room – or at least a supply closet. Elizabeth and Franco agree Epiphany looks great, and she does in an orange gown with a tie at the waist and a front slit. TJ, Deanna, and Amy join them. TJ says they’re ready to get their Ball on, and Deanna says she’ll call an Uber. They don’t want to miss the red carpet. Franco says he hired an enormous stretch limo. They can’t have the Ball without the nurses, and they’re going to arrive in style. Amy says Franco is ridiculously nice. Franco suggests they get going.
Nina introduces Willow escorted by Chase. She says, rumor has it that he’s performing again, and he says she’ll have to wait and see. She says Willow must know, but she says, he’s like a vault. She tried to get it out of him. Sydney asks, how? and Chase tells Willow, just be patient. Sydney says, they’readorable. Nina is like, meh, but then says, he’s adorable, and runs to Valentin. They kiss.
Sasha comes in with Michael. Nina is happy to see them there together. Michael is happy to be there. It’s a cause dear to his heart. Nina says, which he showed with his company’s generous donation. She thanks him. Sydney knows it’s Willow’s first Ball, and asks how she feels. Willow says she was nervous at first, but she’s ready to have fun now.
Ava thanks Doc. He says, for what? and she says she was close to ripping Nina’s face off, and he smoothed the waters. He says she has prioritize. They have a bigger mission tonight. Ava thinks Ryan won’t be able to resist, and he agrees. She’s the best way to draw Ryan out, but nothing with Ryan ever goes according to plan.
Curtis says he can smell the gas, and feels it. He coughs, and Laura says she knows what Ryan is doing. Curtis suggests she fill him in. She says Ryan was supposed to die in a funhouse explosion. He wants her to die the same way he was supposed to. Curtis says, a funhouse? He’s not having much fun. There’s no way he’s going to let this freak win.
Lucy asks Scotty what Doc is thinking. Scotty says, Doc thinks he can douse his grief with guilt, and Ava is milking it for all it’s worth. It’s like a like runaway train, and they have to put brakes on.
Michael hears Maxie is on online tweeting duty, and she tells them to smile.
Nina says, here come newlyish weds, Franco and Elizabeth. Sydney admires Elizabeth’s dress, and Nina asks if they’re looking forward to the performances. Franco says he really stays for the nurses. He feels fortified being with them. He tells Nina, a gaggle of rowdy nurses is coming, and the gaggle follows them in. Epiphany asks who’s he calling rowdy? She runs a tight ship. TJ says, a tighter ship has never been run. Nina introduces Epiphany has GH’s head nurse, and Sydney asks if Magic Milo will be joining them. Epiphany says he had a work conflict, so Milo is keeping the magic in his pants this year.
Sydney introduces renowned coffee importer, Sonny Corinthos, and his lovely wife. Sydney says the cause has a special significance to Sonny’s family. Sonny says, it’s always a good time. It’s a blessing be there, and realize how precious life is. He and Carly kiss.
Michael tells Sasha that he’s sorry if Nina gushing over him made her feel uncomfortable. She says, it didn’t. She thought it was sweet.
Chase tells Willow that he has a great idea. The next time he visits her class, he’ll bring Thor, but also deputize the kids. She thinks it is a great idea, but he’ll have to do it in someone else’s class. She was fired. She’s finishing the yea, and then she’s done. He asks when it happened, and she says, yesterday. He’s so sorry, and asks if it’s because of the Charlotte thing. She says she doesn’t agree with Nina and Valentin’s choices a lot, but the truth is, she could have handled it better. Chase suggests focusing on the upside. There are a lot of private schools that would jump at the chance to hire her. Sometimes things that seem to be the worst, actually turn out to be the best. She says it worked out for the best the night she met him.
Franco tells Elizabeth that no one can hold a candle to her. She says it’s going to be a good night, and he says, it’s already pretty good.
Maxie hugs Peter, and brings him over to Nina. She introduces Maxie as her superior fashion editor, who’s doing double work. With her, is the publisher of The Invader, along with his star reporter, Lulu. Maxie hopes it’s less eventful than last year. I die over Lulu’s dress, which is sparkly and from fairyland. Nina gets something caught in her throat, and excuses herself. Sydney says she thought Nina would never leave, and asks about Lulu’s dress.
Unfortunately, I don’t get to hear the answer. Nina goes on the terrace, and sees Jax. She says she’s looking for water, and he asks if she’ll settle for champagne. She says, sure, and sips it. She apologizes, saying she doesn’t usually steal people’s booze, but her throat closed up. He asks if it was an interview with press, and she says she’s a publisher doing this for charity. He says it’s generous of her. She doesn’t know if her throat closed because of the lights (?) or because she hates those two. Did she just say that out loud? Jax says she’s lucky he doesn’t know who she’s referring too. She says champagne goes to her head, and thanks him, saying she’ll see him on the red carpet.
Carly sees Michael, and he introduces Sasha to her and Sonny. Carly says they’ve already met. At the MetroCourt after Sasha’s workout. It’s nice to see her again. Michael says, no Josslyn? and Carly says, no, but she insisted they come. She had second, third, and fourth thoughts about it. Michael tells her to give Josslyn space and confidence. She’ll be okay. Carly excuses herself to go to the ladies room. Sonny says, Michael knows she’s going to text her daughter, right. Michael says, 100%.
Lucy says Scotty knows what to do. He says she just told him. Just go. Lucy says, it’s going to work, and gives Scotty a thumbs up.
Ava tells Doc, don’t worry. Ryan won’t come there with all these people. He’ll wait until she’s alone.
Mac and Felicia arrive. Sydney says it’s not their first Nurses Ball. What’s their favorite act from over the years. Mac says Mr. Something-or-Other (a bad act he did once), of course (🍷).
Sydney welcomes Jax back, and he says he’s happy to be back. She asks if he’s performing, and he says, Sonny sang last year, so maybe he’ll do a dance number. Anything is possible. A reporter grabs him, and asks if it’s a quick visit, or will Port Charles be seeing more of him? He says they’ll see what happens. He likes to keep his options open. Nina stutters trying to ask Jax a question, and Sydney says he’s an international financier; what brings him back to Port Charles? He says he lives in Australia, and Nina says she loves Australia. He asks if she’s been there, and she says, no, but the accent is great. Jax says he just finished a project there, and he’s looking into some opportunities. He’s missed Port Charles, and it’s great to be back, especially for an important cause. Nina says he should say hello to Maxie, and trails off. Sydney tells him, have a good evening, and pokes Nina. Maxie says she didn’t know he was back, and asks how long he’s home for. He says, indefinitely.
Sam and Shiloh walk the carpet. Nina doesn’t know him, and Sam explains that he runs DOD. Nina says, fantastic, and asks where Jason is. It’s not surprising he’s not there, since he probably doesn’t go to events like this. Shiloh says, it’s irrelevant. Sam isn’t defined by anyone else’s decision. Nina says, awesome, and passes them to Maxie. Sam says they heard she was live tweeting. Maxie says she was, but she just shut down. She has to find a friend. I laugh at Sam’s face when their picture is taken. It’s amusing in general how some of the photos have their true feelings written all over their faces.
A man goes up to Doc, telling him a woman passed out on the red carpet. They took her upstairs, but now she’s hysterical. He asks Doc to take a look. Doc asks Ava to excuse him. She says, if it starts, she’ll save him a seat. Scotty smiles.
Valentin approaches Peter and Lulu. He says Lulu looks exceptionally nice. She says Charlotte helped her pick out her dress. Valentin says, she helped Nina with her ensemble as well. Lulu says, maybe she’ll follow in her stepmother’s footsteps. Jax walks in.
Carly tells Jax that she so did not want to come. Jax says he kept offering to bail, and Carly says Josslyn ordered him. Josslyn doesn’t want to be the reason they stayed home. Jax says, it shows they’re listening, and have faith in her.
Lulu sees Sonny at the bar. He thought her mom was coming, but she says Laura is working on a special assignment. He says, mayor business? and she says, something like that.
Curtis tells Laura, they’ve got to get out. She thinks she can reach his knot. She gets his arm untied, and he says she is good.
Scotty tells Ava to with him to see something, and drags her off.
Doc knocks on a room door. He says received word someone needed assistance. Lucy pulls him into the room. She’s wearing nothing but a slip, and he assumes she didn’t faint on the carpet. She says, no, but it’s truly an emergency. Ava doesn’t know him like she does. She doesn’t see he’s feeling guilty about something he didn’t do. He says, that’s not what’s happening. She says he has a big, generous heart, but he doesn’t have to take care of Ava. Please let her save him from himself.
Jax talks to Josslyn on the phone. He says if she changes her mind, he has his phone on. Lulu, Peter, and Valentin come down the hall. Lulu introduces her boss and Valentin to Jax, but I get the vibe that Jax and Valentin know each other.
Willow and Chase sip champagne. She says, it’s no vintage of love, but it will get her through the evening. She suddenly stops, and Chase asks if she’s okay. She sees Shiloh and Sam.
Nina introduces Finn and Anna, former super spy. Sydney says they’re a lovely looking couple. At least Anna doesn’t look like an old lady this year, and has a nicely draped, black sleeveless dress; kind of Grecian. Sydney asks who she’s wearing, and Anna is like, umm… Nina says don’t keep them in suspense, and Anna stares at Robert, who just walked in. Nina introduces him as another super spy, and says he’s looking dashing. As they all are. Sydney says, an intriguing trio, and Nina says, for sure. She tells the viewers, the Ball is starting.
Chase tells Willow that she’s safe. Sam asks Shiloh if he’s sure he wants to do this. He says he just wants to say hello to Sonny and Carly. He asks how Kristina is, and Sonny says, better now. Shiloh says they’re looking forward to her return, but Carly says she wouldn’t count on it. He assures them he has the best intentions, as well as being Kristina’s friend. Sonny says he’s a philosopher, right? He says he used to be called that. Carly bets he’s been called other things too. Sonny says the philosophy he goes by is, family first, and always, at any cost.
Curtis gets loose, and unties Laura. He says they have to get out of there. It’s gonna blow. They run outside, and get blown off the porch.
Scotty brings Ava to the hotel room where Doc is. She says she has no time for this nonsense. He tells her, trust him. It’s for her own good. He opens the door, and goes, ah-ha! Caught you! but looks surprised himself.
Nina tells Sydney that she was flawless. Sydney says Nina too. They make a great team. Nina says, inprint and on the red carpet. Sydney thinks Nina has someone waiting for her. Valentin is there, and says, let’s get out of here. Nina and Sydney air kiss. Nina says they’ll talk soon, and Sydney says, not too soon. Nina goes inside with Valentin.
Finn tells Robert that he wants his ring back.
Felicia tells Anna that she and Robert made quite an entrance. Which one is her date?
The Nurses Ball is about to begin. Everyone takes their seats. Jax watches Nina and Valentin.
On Monday, Lucy welcomes everyone, Anna tells Robert that Finn is her date, Maxie says Shiloh is the perfect name for a cult leader, and Jason tells Spinelli that they’re setting Shiloh up tonight.
🍳 Tonight, I happened to catch MasterChef: Celebrity Family Showdown. I hadn’t even heard about this particular Gordon Ramsay effort, but as if getting that blessing on a Friday night wasn’t enough, LisaVanderpump was a contestant, teamed with her daughter Pandora, against Snooki and JWoww from The Jersey Shore. The other two teams were Johnny Weir and his brother, vs Tara Lipinski and her husband. It was cooking something with a while fish, and Tara won, but who cares about them? The next teams’ challenge was to recreate a dish from tasting it, blindfolded. Lisa and Pandy were given a swordfish dish, while the Shore babes were given veal piccata. Puffy was along for the ride with Lisa, and although he was presented with his own tiny apron (so he wouldn’t feel left out – aww!) by Gordon, he was palmed off to Ken when the cooking started. The prize was $25K to the winner’s choice of charity, but the loser would still get $15K. Both teams were off somewhat, with Lisa and Pandy substituting snapper for swordfish, and Snooki and JWoww making marsala instead of piccata. Since they got the veal part right, the latter team won. I couldn’t even tell you the charity, since I was concentrating on Lisa, whose money would have gone to the dogs. My favorite part was when Lisa kicked the fridge door shut with her foot. Queens who can do no wrong! They’re just like us! The next part airs on Wednesday, May 22nd at 8 pm (FOX), and will be rerun on Friday at 9 pm. Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth and their daughters will be competing against Evander Holyfield, Oscar De La Hoya and their daughters.
I tried every diet in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book — it tasted better than most of the diets! – Dolly Parton
Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem. – Virginia Satir
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? – Vincent Van Gogh
Is your d*ck circumstanced? – Felix Kendrickson (Jasper Pääkkönen), BlacKkKlansman
Remember, the storm is a good opportunity for the pine and the cypress to show their strength and their stability. – Ho Chi Minh
I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive. – Gilda Radner – I couldn’t agree more.
✨ In Loving Memory…
Of Marisol’s Mom. Anyone have some good champagne they’d like to share? Makes you wonder about the botched plastic surgery though.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Michael comes by Willow’s classroom. He says he didn’t know teachers kept such late hours. She says they don’t, but she’s hosting some parents and the principal. He asks if it’s a problem, and she says nothing or no one she can’t handle.
In Toronto, Maxie, Peter, Curtis, and Laura play Trivial Pursuit. Maxie tells Peter, not geography, and I identify. He says, entertainment. A TV show is described, and Curtis says, Fraternity Row. That was his story. And also a nod to the fake soap opera that was part of a One Life to Live storyline many years ago.
On the phone with Lulu, Doc says they’re ready and waiting. He tells Ava that Lulu’s colleague from Page Five is on the way. Ava says they can provide more tawdry fodder to get Ryan’s attention. She takes Doc’s arm, and he tenses. She tells him, it’s okay, but he says, nothing about it is okay. She says sorry to violate his personal space. He says he just wants Ryan captured, so he can get back to his life and his wife, and Ava must have a life she wants to get back to.
Peter tells Maxie, sorry their first date went down the drain. She says he doesn’t control the weather, and until the snow lets up, their fabulous first date will have to wait. Standing by the window, Curtis tells Laura that Clue or Risk would guarantee world domination. She wonders when the weather will turn. It’s sweet of Maxie and Peter to let them intrude, but… Curtis says they’ve worn out their welcome. Laura says they need to get back on the road, and track down Ryan.
At the MetroCourt, Valentin suggests whisking Nina away, but she says it would be irresponsible to miss a meeting. The less time she spends with that woman, the better. Sasha appears, and asks, whatwoman? Nina says it’s not important, and asks what Sasha is up to. Sasha says she’s meeting Michael. Nina says Sasha has a hot date, but not if they’re around. She grabs Valentin and they jet.
On the phone, Finn tells Robert that he wants his ring. Robert bets he does. Finn says he can’t propose without it, and Robert says he’ll hand it off to Finn later, Finn tells him, tonight’s the night. Anna approaches Finn, and says, sounds ominous. Robert tells Finn that he’ll drop by with his precious bauble later. Robert opens the ring box, and ring is gone.
Michael comes into the classroom with a gift bag, saying he thought he’d leave it on Willow’s desk, so she could get in the morning. She asks what it’s for, and he says to thank her for helping his sister. He saw Kristina this morning. Willow asks how she is, and he says, she’s not her old self yet, but she’ll get there eventually – thanks to her. Willow thinks Neil had a lot to do with it. Michael says, for sure, but Willow spoke about her own experience with Shiloh, and it was instrumental in getting his sister back. He says thank you doesn’t do justice to what Willow did. They hug as Nina and Valentin walk in. Michael says goodnight, and breezes out.
Robert says, damn, and Finn asks, what does that mean? Robert says, the MetroCourt is out of Fosters. He ends the call as Felicia and Mac join him. Mac asks what’s wrong, and Robert says someone stole the ring out of his pocket. Felicia wonders why he has a ring, and he says it’s not his; it’s Finn’s. Felicia is shocked that he lost it, and he tells them to help him find it.
Anna asks Finn what the call was about, and he says he was just clearing a few things with Robert. Anna asks when he was going to tell her how serious Jordan’s condition is.
Maxie says, go fish. Curtis tells Laura that he’s anxious to get this over with so he can get back to his wife. She suggests when the storm clears, he go directly back to Port Charles. He asks what she’s going to do, and she says she wants to check out the last place. The piled up mail doesn’t sit right with her. He asks if she’s shaking him, but she says she just wants to get him back where he belongs, by his wife’s side. He’s sure his wife would rather have him out of her hair than crying in it. He promised to see this through with her. They’re in this together.
Doc wonders how long they have to wait, and Ava asks what’s his hurry. He’s not running home to Laura. He says, and he won’t be. Not as long as this dog and pony show is going on. She asks if her presence is that intolerable, but he says there’s nothing about her presence that’s objectionable. She asks if her reputation doesn’t give him pause, but he says he prefers forming his opinion by direct observation. She says, observe then. What does he see? He says, a human being in pain. She says Ryan saw enough to fall in love. He turned out to be a monster though, and monster love doesn’t count, except to other monsters. He says she’s not a monster, and she asks if that’s his direct observation. He says he loves his wife, and she says, of course (🍷) he does. She tells him not to worry about any more unrehearsed kisses. Doc says, maybe a rehearsed one. Someone’s coming. He grabs Ava and kisses her. Julian runs to them, and tells Doc to get his damn hands off his sister.
Julian tells Doc, back off, but Ava says, stop it. He’s not Ryan. Julian knows who he is. He’s no better than his brother. He unleashed that psycho, and got Kiki killed, and put Ava in Ryan’s sights. Doc says he’s ashamed of what he did, but Julian says, if that was true, he’d have slunk out of town long ago. Doc says he’s not going anywhere until Ryan is dead and buried. He wants to be sure. Julian asks if that’s what he told Ava. He’s taking advantage of her vulnerability. Laura moved on, but Ava is here, ripe for the picking.
Peter tells Curtis that they could play Operation or go old school. Curtis says, definitely old school. Curtis is sorry to impose, but Peter says he can’t control the weather. Peter says a private detective and the mayor. What’s the story? It’s quite the buddy comedy. Curtis thinks it’s not as entertaining as what he and Maxie have going on. Peter flashes back to Maxie saying, it’s been perfect, and kissing her. Laura tells Maxie that she’s been a lovely hostess. They’ve been sweet, but it’s clear they’d rather be alone. Maxie says, it’s really new. Kind of a first date. Laura says Maxie deserves to move on, and if she likes Peter, Laura is happy for her. Maxie thanks her, but she’s not sure she knows what she’s doing. Larua says she’ll figure it out. When the snow stops, they can get on to other activities. Maxie says she’s beginning to think that she and Peter could be the last two people on the planet and still find a way to avoid those activities.
Finn tells Anna that he can’t discuss patients. Anna gets that, but says he could have given her a heads up that Jordan could use a friend. Left to her own devices, Jordan would never say anything. She’s a proud woman. Finn says if Jordan takes a turn for the worse, he’ll let her know. Chase walks in, and says he’s there to see the commissioner. Anna says, Jordan is resting, and Chase says, another time. He asks if Anna got a manicure. She says she’s just wearing clear polish, and he says, sorry. He thought he saw a sparkle. Finn says it could be a symptom of cataracts, and can check that for him. He wants to do that right now, and tells Anna that she’s going to be late to meet Felicia. Anna says she’s not late, but Finn says she doesn’t want to be; Felicia has a mean streak. He pushes her toward the elevator. Once she’s gone, he tells Chase, that was smooth. Chase says, Anna’s ring finger is bare. What’s Finn waiting for?
Felicia says Robert has to tell Finn, and Robert asks if she’s mad. She says, Finn will understand it’s an accident, right? Mac says, of course (🍷). It’s not like he lost it on purpose. Felicia says, why would he sabotage another man’s proposal to his ex-wife?
Nina wants to call Sasha about seeing Michael with Willow, but Valentin says that Sasha told them it’s not that serious. Nina can’t find her phone, and says her whole life is on it. He thinks it could be at the MetroCourt. She wants him to go find it, and he asks her to promise there won’t be bloodshed. Keep it misdemeanor. He leaves, and Principal Schultz comes in, asking them all to take a seat. He thanks them for coming out for what he hopes is a civil discussion. He’s hoping to yield understanding, so they can circumvent the district dealing with the matter. Franco doesn’t know how it can be sorted out in one discussion. Someone here has a problem with the gays.
Finn is beginning to think Chase is more invested in the proposal than he is. Chase says it doesn’t sound good, and Finn says, great detective skills. He’s surprised Chase hasn’t made head detective yet. Finn apologizes, saying he’s on edge. Chase was afraid he’d gone over it. Finn just wants to get the proposal over with, but Chase says, it’s supposed to be a romantic moment. Anna is liable to run other way with him in this state. Finn says he can’t get down on one knee without the ring. Robert has it, and he’s not giving it back. Chase says Finn should have said so sooner. Let’s go get the ring back.
Felicia can’t believe they’re having this conversation. Robert needs to return the ring. Robert says he doesn’t have a ring to return. Mac says he can get a ring. He knows a guy who creates lookalikes. Felicia tells him, no, but he and Robert are already moving, and almost run into Anna. Anna asks Felicia what she missed, and Felicia says, Robert strikes again.
Principal Schultz says what’s in question is a children’s book that celebrates the diversity of Family. Willow would like to explain, but is interrupted by one of the mothers who says she shouldn’t have her own agenda. The classroom shouldn’t be a soapbox. Franco asks which kid is hers, and finds out she’s Bianca’s mother. Franco asks if she has any idea how hurt Aiden was when he wasn’t invited to the birthday party. Nina says, this is unacceptable.
At the MetroCourt, Sasha sees Michael, who says it’s nice to see her back on her feet. Sasha says she didn’t need to go to the hospital, but he says she was delirious when he saw her. She asks if she said anything embarrassing. Michael tells her that she said she wishes Nina was her real mother. Valentin overhears.
Doc tells Julian that he misunderstood. Julian says his sister is vulnerable. When she sees him, she doesn’t just see the man who killed her daughter, but the man who put her on a pedestal, and he’s manipulating that. He thinks if Ava forgives him, the whole town will. Doc says it’s none of his business, and Julian says Ava is coming with him. He grabs her, and Doc tells him not to manhandle her. Julian says, it’s better than assaulting her. Doc had his hands all over her, and was kissing her. Ava says she was kissing back. They’re together.
Peter tells Curtis it’s his and Maxie’s first date. They were flying to Paris, but the storm had other plans. He guesses they’ll have to settle for memorable. Curtis tells him that he’s doing a good job, and to squeeze every moment for all that it’s worth. God forbid something unexpected happens; something he’s not in control of. Don’t take things in life for granted like they’ll always be there. Make the most of each and every moment.
Maxie tells Laura that she and Peter have found every reason not move forward. Laura says they’re here now, and Maxie says they ironed some things out, but she thinks Peter doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. Isn’t that crazy? Laura says she’s heard about Peter’s childhood from Lulu. Keep in mind that he’s a complicated man with complicated feelings. Maybe Maxie has to simplify it, and make the first move.
Julian asks what Ava is talking about. She says it’s been all over the news, and The Invader. Julian says, The Invader is tabloid trash, but Ava says, in this case, it’s true. Ava says she and Doc have been seeing one another, and Julian says Doc is sicker than he thought. Doc suggests Julian leave, and Julian suggests Doc stay away from his sister. Doc says if he was a better brother, maybe she wouldn’t be as vulnerable. He’s been too busy building a bar and reconstructing his image. He’s a last resort for Ava now, just like with his children. Julian punches Doc in the face. A photographer pops out of nowhere, and starts taking pictures.
Curtis says the snow stopped, and Laura says they’re back in business. Curtis says, and out of Maxie and Peter’s. Laura says she’ll see them back in Port Charles. Peter is glad they could help. Laura and Curtis leave, and Maxie says, so…? Peter says, so.
Finn tells Chase that he’s not going after Robert, and Chase asks how else is he going to get the ring back? Finn says Robert is supposed to give it to him tonight. He appreciates it, but doesn’t need rescuing from his little brother. Chase says, history says otherwise, but Finn thinks he has it under control. He’ll let Chase know when the deed is done. Chase says he and Willow can take them out to celebrate. Finn says Chase is still with the school marm. Chase wishes Finn wouldn’t call her that, and Finn says that’s why he does it. He’s teasing. Chase says Willow takes her job seriously.
Nina says they wanted a discussion; let’s discuss. She’s going to say what Willow should have said at the get-go. Schools exist to help children learn to form their own ideas, which is what parents also do. It’s not to force feed them what someone else believes. She says, they want to read something that reflects their own experiences, or look through the window of the experiences of others. They’re not indoctrinating children, just helping them be who they are. Children will do it anyway, like it or not, so why not help the kids who need more guidance or extra guidance, and let them access that? It’s no big deal. If they want to talk about what’s hurting their kids, they should discuss the chicken fingers in the cafeteria.
Sasha tells Michael that she wouldn’t want that to get back to Nina. They’ve come so far so fast. It would hurt Nina. If Sasha is asked about her mom, she immediately thinks of her adoptive mother. She doesn’t think she can shake that feeling, but couldn’t share that with Nina. She asks if it bothers him, but he says it sounds like she’s protecting Nina. She says, by lying? He says, there are some lies and truths that serveno purpose. He doesn’t believe in the truth for truth’s sake. The world is not so black and white. Her secret is safe with him. Valentin continues to listen.
Laura and Curtis go back to the last house. Curtis says, the mail is gone, and Laura says, someone ishome. She knocks, and a woman answers. She apologizes for coming by so late, but they were delayed be the storm. They introduce themselves as being from Canadian Revenue, and Curtis says they’re following up on a discrepancy in their records. Laura asks if the woman is April, and if they can come in. She says she’s April, but no. We see the newspaper inside with a headline about Ryan. Laura asks if April has been away, and April asks if that’s the discrepancy. Laura says, no, but they tried knocking earlier. No one answered, and she noticed the piled up mail, and assumed no one was home. April says she just got back from a trip. Curtis hopes it was somewhere warm, and April says, Miami. He says she doesn’t look like she got much sun. Laura asks how many people live there, and April says, just her. She tells them she’s tired. Laura tries to ask how long she’s lived there, but April closes the door.
Julian tells the reporter to get that guy out of his face, referring to the photographer. He says yes, he hit Doc, but Doc provoked him. He was harassing Julian all day. Ava tells Doc that he pushed all of Julian’s buttons. She didn’t know he had it in him. Doc says the better the show, the sooner they draw out Ryan, and the sooner it’s over. Julian says tell them it’s a misunderstanding and there was no crime. Ava looks at Doc.
Finn tells Chase that anyone juggling third graders and their parents has his admiration. Chase says Willow finds shaping kids hugely rewarding, and Finn says, good thing she has him to lean on. Chase says he’s not going anywhere, but things are complicated. Finn asks if she gave Chase homework, and I laugh. Chase says Willow’s ex is still an issue. She can’t shake him; not for lack of trying. Finn asks why Chase didn’t tell him sooner. He says, let’s get that jerk, and free your girl. He heads for the elevator.
Willow thanks Nina for defending her. Nina says she wasn’t. she was speaking out against censorship. Willow has poor judgement in the classroom, and is fundamentally dishonest. She saw Willow sucking up to Michael when she has a boyfriend. Willow says, that’s not what happened, but Nina tells Willow to watch herself – because she is.
Peter says, the trip has been full of surprises, and Maxie says, a flight to France. He says, rerouted toCanada. She says, surprise guests, and he says, there could be more surprises. He says he’s beat, and she says she is too. Maxie asks if he wants to go to sleep. He says, does she? and she says, there’s not much else to do this late. He says, not really, and they say goodnight. When Maxie is gone, Peter sighs.
Anna tells Felicia that Robert and Holly are taking a break. Does Felicia think she could fix him up? Felicia says, maybe he already has eye on someone. Anna says, he needs a woman to occupy himself. Felicia says he’s been hanging around Port Charles for a while, and wonders if it’s because of someone there.
Michael suggests he and Sasha go to the café. He knows the private entrance. She says she’ll meet him there. He leaves, and she runs into Valentin on her way out. He says she and Michael seem be hitting it off. She says they enjoy each other’s company, but he tells her to keep in mind her time there is limited. He and Nina will be married soon, and she can move away. Hopefully, as far as possible.
Peter flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Maxie. Maxie flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Peter. He sits up, and says, make the most of each and every moment. She sits up, and says, simplify. Make the first move. They meet in the suite living room, and start kissing. For all the time they wasted, they waste none now, and they both flop onto the bed.
Nina meets Valentin at the MetroCourt. He says she just missed Michael and Sasha. He says it’s officially been a fulfilling evening, and asks how hers went. She says, swimmingly. He asks if they got the book back in the library, and she says, that too.
Willow thanks Principal Schultz. She’s grateful for his support. She wants to run some ideas past him for next year’s curriculum. He says he’d intended to delay this conversation until the end of the school year, but it can’t be avoided. He’s sorry, but she won’t be invited back to teach next year.
Anna tells Felicia, it’s true. Robert has been hanging around so much lately. Felicia says maybe he’s looking to resettle there. Anna pities the poor woman. She gets a phone call, and steps away to take it.
Chase tells Finn that he doesn’t need rescuing, the same way Finn doesn’t. Finn says, you’re learning,grasshopper, and Chase goes, huh? Finn says, you are so young… never mind. If Chase needs help, let him know, and says hi to the school marm for him. Chase says, say hi to his future sister-in-law. Providing he gets the ring back. He tells Finn that he’ll keep his phone on, and to let him know what happens.
Robert and Mac show Felicia the ring. Mac says, well? Felicia says, it’s beautiful, but he’ll never pull it off. Robert asks why she’s being a pessimist. Mac says Robert described it to the jeweler, and he doesn’t think Finn will know the difference. Felicia supposes he has a point. Robert says, but will Anna find Finn’s proposal worth accepting? Felicia says Anna might keep her emotions to herself, but she knows Anna’s heart. She’s a woman in love.Ring or no ring, she’s ripe for a proposal.
Doc says Julian is Ava’s brother, but Ava says she’ll stand by Doc’s side if he wants to press charges. Ifthat doesn’t get Ryan’s attention… Doc says, not much else would. She tells Julian that she’s so sorry, but there’s nothing she can do. He did assault her lover. Doc says he’d like to press charges. Julian asks what he’s talking about, as handcuffs are put on him.
Laura asks what Curtis thinks. He says, she lied. Laura says, why? and he says, covering something up maybe? Inside, April tells someone that she sent them away. The paper they wanted is on the table. We see the paper with a picture of Ava and Doc, and a knife comes down on it.
Tomorrow, Curtis is ready to talk, Anna tells Robert that she’s sworn off marriage, Mike proposes to Yvonne with the ring, Shiloh wants to complete Sam’s initiation, and someone goes after Laura.
The Haves and The Have Nots
Justin tells David, he’s been waiting for this moment. David says, get the gun out of his face. Justin says, get the hell out of his apartment. David sent those guys to his place. David says if Justin puts a gun on him, he’d better use it, and Justin says he plans to. David asks where his son is, and Justin says, get out. David says his son is all he has left, and he loves him. Justin says that makes two of them. David says he’d kill for Jeffrey, and Justin says, again, that makes two of them. Get out. David calls for Jeffrey, who’s in the bathroom. Justin repeats he’s not there. David says he has a lot of pictures of Jeffrey, and he’s having dinner for two by himself. Justin says he does that from time to time. David calls for Jeffrey again, and Justin says, get out. He means it.
Jeffrey comes out, and asks what the hell Justin is doing. Justin says, sorry, but David’s got to go. When Justin turns to talk to Jeffrey, David pops him, and takes the gun. He says he’ll kill Justin, and piss on his grave. Jeffrey tells him, stop it, and David lets Justin go. He tells Jeffrey to come with him, but Jeffrey says he’s not going. David asks if Jeffrey can’t see this boy is crazy, and Jeffrey says he’s trying to help Justin. David says they’re leaving, but Jeffrey says he’s an adult. David isn’t leaving him there, and Jeffrey asks how David knew where he was. David says Jeffrey needs to come home with him – now. Jeffery says he’ll make a deal. He’ll stop seeing Justin when David stops seeing Veronica. David says, that’sentirely different. Jeffrey tells him that he should go, and David says, fine. He tells Justin if any harm comes to his son, he’ll kill him. If so much as a fingernail is broken, he’s dead. He gives Jeffrey the gun, saying Jeffrey will need it more than he will. David leaves, and Jeffrey sits on the couch next to Justin, who looks wiped out.
Jeffrey asks if Justin is okay. Justin asks why David hates him so much, and Jeffrey says, yeah, he’s okay. Justin says he didn’t do anything to David. Why won’t he leave them alone? Jeffrey says he’s their only child. Justin says all he’s trying to do is love Jeffrey. Why is it so complicated? Jeffrey says he’ll get through this, and Justin says, with Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he needs Justin to talk to someone, and Justin says, don’t start that again. Jeffery says he’s going to go. His dad is going to be pissed off. Justin says, no. They’re finishing dinner. He still has dessert. If David is pissed now, he’ll be pissed later, and he made it for Jeffrey. Then he can leave. Jeffrey says, okay. Justin wonders why David did that, and Jeffrey says Justin knows.
Benny sees a news reporter interviewing Landon after the White House dinner. The reporter asks about Candice, and Landon says she and Charles have a special relationship. The reporter asks if they’ll be getting married, and Landon says, we’ll see. The reporter asks about the visit, and Landon says they loved her, and they all had fun being there. Benny tries to call Candace, but gets voicemail. He shouts for Hanna to come. She’s lying in bed, and says, not now. He goes into her bedroom, and says she needs to see this. He puts on the TV. The reporter is saying that Candace is a third year law student. Benny’s phone rings. It’s Mitch, who asks if he’s watching the news. He can’t believe she did it. She got the President. Benny asks if that’s the guy who came to the hospital. Mitch says, yes, but he had no idea. He says she has to be careful. Politicians are killers. Benny says Candace can handle herself, and Mitch says they’ll find out. Benny asks how Mitch’s uncle is doing, and Mitch says, all right. Benny asks if Mitch talked to him. Mitch asks, about what? and Benny says, the interest. Mitch says, he’s not budging. Does Benny have a plan? Benny says he was just talking to his mom about it. Mitch tells him, stay in touch, and let him know.
At the Iron Bone, the guy sitting next to Mitch at the bar asks if that wasn’t the girl who was in there. Mitch didn’t tell him that she was connected like that. Mitch asks if he wants to hit that now, but the guy says he didn’t vote for him. Mitch wonders when he’s given a sh*t, and the guy tells him, go buy a car. Mitch says if the guy has a problem with his car, buy him one, which totally sounds like what I would say. The guy says Mitch doesn’t have the money, and Mitch says he’s not kissing Vinnie’s ass like him. In five years, his car will be worth fifty grand. Vintage. The guy says, more like garbage, and Mitch says, ride that bike, dude. Dude tells the bartender he can’t stand Mitch.
Kathryn tells Jim that he needs to calm down. He says, don’t tell him what to do. He wonders how she stays calm, and she says she has drugs. He says that’s why he’s in this mess. How can she keep drugs there with his son? She says she didn’t think… and he says she never does. She says she thinks he’s an ass. He says she needs to go somewhere and sleep off, but she says she needs another drink. Then she’s going to call her Latin lover, and have him put her to sleep. Jim says she’s pathetic, and walks out.
Kathryn calls the hotel. She’s told Roderick isn’t there, and says she’s been calling all day. Kathryn Cryer. I’m your boss, bitch. She says to transfer her to the bar. Rocky answers, and she asks for Roderick. Roderick is standing there, shaking his head. Rocky says, actually, he is, and she says, put him on thephone. Roderick says, you bastard, and takes the phone. She says she’s been calling all day, and he says he’s been busy. She says she’s not the type who likes to be ignored, but he says he wasn’t ignoring her. He’s been busy. She asks if she detects a tone in his voice, and he says, no. He has a customer right now, and she says, make them wait. He says he’s going to check them in and go home. She says, no he isn’t. She’s coming in for a nightcap, and wants to see him. He doesn’t think so. She asks if it’s about Jim, and he says it’s about him, and he says no. She says his ass better be there when she arrives, and he hangs up. Rocky asks, did he just hang up on her? and Roderick says he did. Kathryn looks at the phone, and says, did he just hang up? Rocky says, she’s going to be pissed. Is Roderick trying to get fired? Roderick says, no. He’s trying to get to her. Watch the master at work. She’s used to getting what she wants, and the rich want what they can’t have. Rocky asks if he’s been reading a book on how to trap a wealthy woman. Roderick says he could write it. Watch him work. Rocky tells him, watch out for her husband. Roderick says, watch and see. When he leaves, Rocky says, that guy’s nuts.
Benny answers a knock at the door. It’s Mitch. He asks if Benny was watching the news. His sister’s with the President; it’s crazy. That’s her man now. He asks how Benny is doing, and Benny says, not good. Mitch says Benny called him; what’s up? Has he found a way to get the money? Benny says, no, and Mitch says Benny is wasting his time. Benny asks what Mitch thinks they’ll do to him. He can have a leg broke. He thinks he should go down there and take it like a man. Mitch says Benny doesn’t get it. It don’t work like that.They’ll break both legs, and still want the money. it’s accruing interest every week Benny doesn’t pay seen him. He knows a guy who borrowed $10K, and had to pay back $100K in eight weeks. This ain’t no bank. He told Benny not to do this in the first place. Now it’s legit. He wishes he could help. Benny suggests Mitch take out a loan, and Mitch laughs. He says, from who? and Benny says from his family. They won’t break his legs. Mitch says he’s not doing that. If he borrows money from them, that means he’s in the family. Benny asks, what’s wrong with that? and Mitch says, it ain’t cool. It’s hard enough trying separate from them. Benny says how about if he works? but Mitch says, it ain’t gonnahappen. Benny asks if it’s because he’s Black, but Mitch says he’s not in the family. They only let family do things that make them money. He has no ideas or answers. Benny says he doesn’t need an I told you so. Hanna appears, and says, so they’re going to kill him if he doesn’t pay. Benny tells her, go on to bed, but she keeps talking. Mitch says, hi, and Hanna says, hi Mitch, without taking her eyes from Benny. She says he borrowed from people who are that bad? Benny says he had to do something. She says he has to deal with it then. He says if he took the interest from the money Candace got… She says, goodnight. They’re going to the bank in the morning, and giving it all back, and she doesn’t want to hear it. Benny says, it will be all right. She says, if he says so, and goes back upstairs. Mitch has an idea. Go to Candace for the money. She’s with the President now. Maybe he’s wired her to some account. It’s only $20K. Maybe she’ll give it to him. It’s worth a shot. She’s the one who got him into the situation with his truck. Benny says, might as well.
Charles and Candace go back to the hotel. Candace’s phone rings. She says it’s her brother, and Charles says her family probably saw her on the news. She asks, when? and he says, didn’t she see all the cameras outside the White House? She does know a press pool follows him and records everything, right? She says, yeah. She’ll talk to Benny later. Charles says, now where were they? He tells her that she’s gotten quiet. She says they were talking in the car, and he says, then she got quiet. She says, it’s a lot, and he tells her it helps to talk through it. She says, what part? Being here with President Elect when they just came from the White House? That doesn’t happen every day to a Black girl from Savannah. He knows it’s overwhelming, but she has to let him know what’s going on in her head. She tells him that he said she was a hot piece of Black ass. Charles says, what? Who? and she says, the President. Charles asks, when? and she says, at the table. He says, the President said those words, hot piece of Black ass? He takes out his phone, and says he’ll take care of this. She says that’s why she didn’t tell him. She knew he’d be upset. So the President knows what kind of person she is. He says it’s time the President knows what kind of person he is. She says she shouldn’t have told him. She ruined a perfectly good night. She’s been called a lot worse. He says, by a head of state? She says, no, and he says, exactly. She can see why it’s so disrespectful. She says, he’s so cool. What about the game in the car? He says that was before he knew the President said that. She tells him, let it go for the night. Charles doesn’t know if he can. She asks if that’s a challenge. Does he want her to take his mind off things? She kisses him, and asks if he wants more. He says, it’s a start. She wants to take a shower, and motions for him to come closer. She tells him, undress for her, calling him Mr. President. He says she should count herself lucky there isn’t a pole in there, but he could put one in the Oval. She helps him take off his clothes, and leads him to the shower.
Kathryn comes downstairs, and Jim asks where the hell she’s going. She says, out. He says he asked a question, and she says, she answered. He wonders if she’s going to the hotel, and she wonders if he’s going to hell. He asks if she has any idea what time it is, and she says, time for a nightcap. Wyatt pops out of his room, and tells Jim, get out of her way. She’s trying get to her man whore. He tells her, hurryback. He has a surprise for her. She leaves, and Jim tells Wyatt, go to his room. Wyatt says he has a surprise for Jim too. Jim says, now.
RK kisses Veronica on the couch. He asks, what’s wrong with her? and she asks if he got her jewelry. She tells him, no woman wants a man who’s sweaty, but he says, some like it. She says he had his chance. He’s a disgusting problem, and she wants him to get her jewelry. He says she gave him her son’s address. He’ll do what she wants. Nothing sexual. She tells him, don’t disgust her, and RK says, he’s gay. She asked RK to flirt with him, and get his mind off that cop. He’s got it, and can do it. She says, this will be worth her jewelry? He says he’ll have her son eating out of the palm of his hand. She says he can’t just go to the house. Her son is living with his father. She tells him, lay low, and she’ll figure it out. He says this is going to cover him for her jewelry, right? but she says he’ll be owing her for a very long time. Now get the hell out of her house. He asks if she’ll let him use a car then. He needs to get around. She laughs, and he leaves. She calls David’s voicemail, and say she’s still waiting for him to come back.
Kathryn walks into the Artisian. Roderick meets her. She asks how he is, and he says, good. She says, not that good, hanging up on her. He says he didn’t want talk to her anymore, and she asks, why is that? He’s sorry… She says she doesn’t have time for this. Get Rocky, and meet her upstairs. He doesn’t think so, and she says, excuse me? He says she heard him. She doesn’t think he heard her. The only reason he stayed here is because she wanted to see him. He says, not true. He was tied up with guests. She says, bullsh*t. They’re going upstairs. He says, they’re not going anywhere. He’s not doing threesomes anymore. She says she wants to, but he doesn’t care. She’s just using him. She asks what this is about, and he says he can’t keep doing this. If she gets tired of him, what does he get out of it? She says he’s the most excitement she’s had in long time. He says, so he’s just a toy. She says he’s not, and he asks what he gets out of it. She asks what he wants; a raise? He says, no, and she says, more money? He wants her. She laughs, and says, no, he doesn’t. Roderick asks if he’s gotten in her head, that husband of hers. He’s gotten in so deep, she can’t see what a beautiful woman she is. She says she was a beautiful woman, but when she looks in the mirror, she see the years have gone downhill. She’s in her 50s, and it would be foolish to think she could compete with a thirty-year-old he might be seeing. He says he’s not seeing anyone else. He wants her. If he can’t have her the way he wants, fire him now, but if she comes at him like she wants him, he’s not a piece of meat. He walks away, and she says, okay.
She goes to the bar, and orders scotch on the rocks. I retch because I hate scotch, even the smell. She watches Roderick talk to a customer. She asks if Rocky is free, and Rocky tells her Roderick is serious. She says he’d better make it a double.
Justin washes the dishes while Jeffrey dries. Justin asks, who keeps calling. Jeffrey says, his dad. Justin says, sorry about that, and Jeffrey says he shouldn’t have put a gun to David’s head. Justin says David shouldn’t have sent people after him. Jeffrey knows, and Justin asks why Jeffrey is sticking up for him. Jeffrey says he’s not. He’d better go. Justin doesn’t want him to leave. He notices Jeffrey got a text, and asks if it was Jeffrey’s dad. Jeffrey says it was, and Justin asks what he said. Jeffrey says, nothing. He just wants him to come home already. Justin says Jeffrey put his phone face down. Is he hiding something? Jeffrey says, no, but Justin wants to see. Jeffrey says he’s not doing that. It’s his phone. Justin says Jeffrey can go through his phone, but Jeffrey doesn’t want to. Justin says Jeffrey can see all the nasty texts from his wife, co-workers, boss, mother, and brothers. Jeffrey says it’s his personal business, but Justin wants to see his phone. Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says it’s because he’s lying. Jeffery says, enough; stop. Justin says, they trust each other, right? Jeffrey says he’s not giving Justin his phone. They just had a nice dinner. Can they not do this? Justin keeps insisting, and Jeffrey says he’s going.
Jeffrey’s phone rings, and Justin grabs it. He asks, who is this? and Wyatt says, damn. Is that guy still messing around with him? Justin says he is, and asks again who it is. Wyatt tells him to put Jeffrey on the phone. Justin says he told Wyatt never to call Jeffrey. Wyatt says he’ll call as much as he pleases. Give Jeffrey the phone. Justin says he means it. If Wyatt calls again, he’ll break Wyatt’s jaw. He says, wait. Was Wyatt trying to get ahold of him? Does the straight boy need a fix? Get on his knees again? Wyatt says he didn’t do a damn thing, but Justin says he wanted to. Wyatt says, go to hell, and Justin tells him, don’tcall again. Jeffrey says, give him his phone. Justin says he’s been texting Madison. I say, uh-oh. Justin says Jeffrey texted Madison his address. They were having a nice, romantic dinner, and Jeffrey texted the address. What else is in there? Jeffrey says he’s not doing this again. Keep it.
He heads for the door. Justin takes out two guns. He holds one to Jeffrey’s head, and one to his own head.
Next time, Jeffrey says only one gun has a bullet, Benny asks Jim if he wants to go again, and Kathryn tells Jim she’s going to let Hanna keep all of the money.
🐉 Dracarys Or Bust
I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. The remaining dragon is fine.
Varys told a kitchen maid, the greater the risk the greater the reward, when she told him Dany wouldn’t eat, and I had a mental picture of him looking at a medieval motivational poster. (Please note the connection of dots below that I totally missed here.) He tried to get Jon to reveal who he really is, but Jon said Dany was his queen. Varys told him, every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin and the world holds its breath. Tyrion told Dany about Varys meddling, and Dany though Jon betrayed her by telling Sansa, who told Tyrion. Dany said it didn’t matter now, and looked older than sixteen for the first time. Grey Worm took Varys to Tyrion, Dany and Jon. Varys hoped he deserved what was coming, and was proved wrong. Dany sentenced him to die, and it was dracarys and a roasted Varys. I liked him, but well, there you go.
Dany gave Grey Worm Missandel’s old collar, and he burned it. Jon said Dany was his queen and she wanted to get busy, but it was a hard no, which didn’t make her too happy. Tyrion told Dany the people of King’s Landing were prisoners. She said she was going to be merciful… to future generations. Tyrion looked sick. She said the next time Tyrion failed her would be the last. Arya and the Hound were on a mission to kill Cersei. Jaime got caught, and Tyrion went to see him. He told Jaime that Cersei would die unless he could get her to stay her course of action. The city was going to fall, He should escape with Cersei, and start a new life. He said, tens of thousands of innocent lives, and one not-so-innocent dwarf was a fair trade. If it hadn’t been for Jaime, he wouldn’t have survived childhood. At King’s Landing, Cersei was like, see ya, and locked herself in the Keep. Arya and the Hound managed to muscle their way through the crowd,, but Jaime had noon such luck. Waiting on his Iron Boat, (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy kept checking the sky. Why she didn’t do this last week, I’ll never know, but everyone got darcarysed by Dany on Drogon, including Urine. This caused the crew at the city door to scramble around, but they got singed as well. I guess if you want something done right…
Zoolander headed Cersei’s army, and everyone stood around until King’s Landing was blown apart from the inside. Grey Worm led the charge, but I don’t know why he even bothered at that point. Zoolander tried to run, but got trampled, and it was pretty funny. Then he literally got stabbed in the back by Grey Worm. Cersei watched from her off-ivory tower as her city burned. She said all they needed was one good shot. Old guy Hand was like, give up, but Cersei stuck with being delusional, saying the city hadn’t fallen yet, and it wouldn’t today. I laughed when the dragon flew over the city, and everyone scurried to get anywhere but there. (Sorry, I never had much investment in any of the characters, except Tyrion and the dragons, and sometimes find the over-the-top stuff a bit Monty Pythonish.) Then I was really laughing when the head soldier dude threw his sword down, and Cersei’s idea that they’d protect her to the death didn’t happen. Jaime snuck around the back way.
The bell rang, indicating surrender, but Dany didn’t care. She flew straight at the tower Cersei was in, with everyone in the city running like Godzilla was coming. Dracarys was everywhere, and there was a melee with the remaining soldiers, where Jon just stood around spacing out, and Grey Worm single-handedly creamed about five dozen soldiers. He was like Michonne on Walking Dead. Tyrion was like, wtf?
Somehow, Urine survived, and he and Jaime ended up in the same cave. Urine said he became king once he screwed the queen. They fought, and I was like, oh please, don’t let Jaime get killed by this loser. It looked like Jaime was a goner, but that was still debatable. Cersei cried a tear, and old guy Hand said they’d find a better place to wait out the storm. She let him lead her away.
Jaime managed to crawl to his sword, and stab the crap out of Urine. He stomped off, while Urine’s last words were that he got Jaime, and he was going to die thinking he was the man who killed Jaime Lannister. I think the line would have been better had he said the Kingslayer, but that’s just me. The Hound told Arya to go home, but she wanted to kill Cersei. He said revenge was all he cared about his whole life, and look at him. Did she want to be that? He said if she went with him, she’d die. She thanked him, and got the hell out of there, as we all would had he given us that option.
We found out the Mountain looked like Uncle Fester under his helmet. No wonder he’s always so pissed off. Jaime found Cersei, and stopped my fun in watching her be scared for the first time. They clutched each other. The Hound shoved his sword all the way through the Mountain, but it was just a flesh wound, and the Mountain pulled it out, and made like Yul Brynner in the original Westworld. I was hoping Arya would save him, as the Mountain tossed him around like a football, but she was taking a similar pummeling, trying to run with the crowd. The Hound heard me say, get his eyeball, and stabbed the Mountain in it. While the Mountain struggled to pull out the blade, they both went over the side of the tower into the burning city. By now, Jon was all, fall back, like an hour too late. Arya tried to help the people hiding, but ended up in flames herself… or so we thought. Cersei whined to Jaime that she didn’t want to die like this. She should have thought of that before. Idiot narcissist that he is, Jaime said nothing else mattered but them. Everything fell around them.
Arya rose from the ashes. Sadly without dragon babies. She got on a white horse that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and rode away. Next time – the finale – Tyrion surveys the damage, and Dany rules (?).
Now who’s going to clean up all that dracarys?
💭 What We Thought…
Theories about Jaime, including mine, bite the dust along with King’s Landing.
🌴 Due to time constraints (i.e. I need time to sleep), and a Mother’s Day debacle that infringed on said time, I’m begging off The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills until tomorrow. Both LVP and Giggy (!) made an appearance, which made it worthwhile.
🛀 Soap Within Soap…
While there have been Rows since then, this is the original.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Josslyn tells Jax that she’s sorry, and he asks, why? She says he drove to school to watch her practice, and she barely made it through the stretches. He says it wasn’t far to go, and she’s having emotional trauma. If she’d been hit by a car, she wouldn’t be expected at practice. She says she hates quitting. He tells her not to think of it like that, and give herself credit for getting dressed and showing up. She says she doesn’t know how to do any of it.
Sonny says Josslyn is home early, and Carly says, it was too much too soon. Sonny thinks it’s good for her to get out. She has to find a way to figure it out, and it’s better than being curled in a ball in the dark. Carly says, it’s going to happen, and he says, when it does, they’ll be there.
Alexis goes to Charlie’s, and thanks Julian for rehiring Kristina. He says Kristina is the best thing to happen in the last couple days, and Alexis says, it’s so sad about Oscar. Julian says he admired Oscar. In the short time he was alive, he really lived.Not many people can truly say that.
Cameron picks up garbage in the park. Franco says he’s off the clock, and doesn’t get extra credit for overtime. He asks if Cameron wants to get something at Kelly’s. He knows Cameron wants him to stop doing this bonding garbage. He knows Cameron can’t stand him, and thinks he’s only doing this to impress Cameron’s mother and brothers. He gets how Cameron feels about him, but he doesn’t agree or understand. The more he knows Cameron, the more he admires him. He’s going to keep at it, until one day they can do better than tolerate each other. He’s not just doing this for Cameron’s mom – who he loves completely – but he’s doing it for himself. One day, Cameron will respect him. He knows he hasn’t gotten there yet, but he will.
Drew, Ned, Olivia and Monica watch Leo and Danny play in the yard. Monica says she loves watching them. It makes it easier to bear. Kim arrives with an urn. She says, it’s strange. She’s been preparing for this day for a while. It’s here now. Oscar is gone, and she’s not sure what to do. Ned says her son was way ahead of her on that one. Oscar had a plan.
Josslyn asks Jax, what if it never gets better, and she feels like this forever? It’s like she’s drowning and can’t break through the water. He says, it will get better. He’s been there, and so has she. Does she remember how she felt when Morgan died? She couldn’t go on, but she did anyway, even though it was hard every day. He promises that time heals everything. Her phone dings, and she says, omg, Oscar.
Carly tells Sonny, the memorial service is today;no black. Josslyn comes in, and asks if Carly got the text, and she says she just did. It’s the last thing Josslyn feels like doing. She’s not ready. She asks if she has to go, and Carly says, no, but thinks she’ll deeply regret it if she doesn’t. Sonny says they’re going to be there, and Jax says they’ll do it together. Josslyn goes upstairs to change, and Carly sighs.
At the hospital, Terry asks if Elizabeth got the text about a celebration for Oscar. Elizabeth says he did. Terry says, he was such a wonderful kid, and they hug. Terry tells Elizabeth that she’ll see her at five.
Trina finds Cameron, and asks if he got the text. He doesn’t think he wants to go, but she says Josslyn needs them. Oscar is counting on them, and as friends they have to step up. Cameron asks if she wants to go together. She tells him to go change. He smells like literal garbage.
Ned says Oscar was adamant about not wanting a funeral. He didn’t want sadness surrounding the day. He wanted them to come together, not to mourn, but raise a glass to his life. Olivia tells them Oscar said they could say nice things about him, but only if they want to. Ned says, the point is for them to help each other, lean on each other, and in remember him, perhaps bring a smile to their faces. Drew says, if that’s what Oscar wanted, then that’s exactly what he’s going to get.
On the Quartermaine patio, Ned puts up a collage of Oscar’s pictures, and Olivia sets the tables. Michael and Sam arrive first. Sam tells Michael that she got the memo; no black. Olivia tells them to just hang out, and he’ll explain when everyone gets there. Jason joins them, and asks how Sam is holding up. She says, fine. Michael says he knew they were planning something, but kept the details quiet. Josslyn and Jax come in, and Josslyn hugs Michael. She says she’s supposed to be fine, but doesn’t know how to deal. What if start she starts crying, and can’t stop? Jax says, If it happens, it happens; it’s okay. Alexis sees Jax, and says, circumstances notwithstanding, it’s great to see him. He has a wonderful daughter; strong and supportive. Death isn’t easy for anyone, especially the young. She wishes he’d had a chance to know Oscar, but he feels like he did. He’s glad Oscar and Josslyn had each other, even if they’re time was cut short. Jason asks Carly how Josslyn is. Carly says she knows Josslyn will be okay eventually, but until she gets there… Jason says, until she gets there, she has them. Sam hugs Jax, and tells him that he should be proud of his daughter. She’s special. He says she’s been making him proud since birth, but this is a whole new level. Cameron and Trina walk in, and Josslyn says they made it. Cameron asks if she thought they wouldn’t, and Josslyn says she almost didn’t. Trina asks how she’s doing, and Josslyn says, terrible. Trina says, awful, and Cameron says, the worst. Trina says at least they’re all on the same page. Cameron says he was thinking about the trip to Niagara Falls before Oscar got sick. They laugh about Cameron’s driving. Trina reminds him of the old lady who said, move out of the way, grandpa. He’s glad they find it funny. Oscar had his back. He says, sorry, and Josslyn says, don’t be. Trina says they have hers. Cameron goes to see his mom, and Trina says Oscar wanted her to tell Josslyn something. She should still hike up the mountain, whether she wants to or not. To the top; no turning back. Trina says, he wanted her to get her hike on. He loved her, and she was the best thing that ever happened to him. They hug.
Monica is glad Jason is there, and he says, Oscar was family. She says, a family that’s getting smaller by the minute. Jason says he’s still there, and he’s not going anywhere. Drew approaches and says, neither is he. He has an envelope for Jason, and says Oscar wanted him to open it with Monica there. Jason reads Oscar’s first letter. Oscar knows he doesn’t spend a lot of time there, but he’s come to think of the Quartermaine house as home. There’s only one thing missing; a treehouse for the kids. Jason says he had the plans drawn up, but there’s one catch. Oscar wants Jason and his dad to build it together. When they’re done, and the kids are climbing on it, know he’ll be there too. Jason asks if Drew is in. He’s in.
Ned thanks everyone for coming to Oscar’s celebration. And it is Oscar’s celebration. He was very clear on what he wanted. He said the worst part of any funeral is the funeral. The good stuff comes afterward when everyone talks, laughs, and tells stories. He decided to skip the morose stuff, and go straight to the party. Ned says if they want to remember Oscar, do what he wanted, and if they feel compelled to share a funny story, do. He’d rather have them smile than have tears. Olivia says, it’s going to be hard, but try. Ned says, for Oscar, and they all repeat, for Oscar.
Olivia says, the floor is open if anyone wants to share a story. Michael gets up, and says he knows they’re supposed to tell stories about Oscar. He doesn’t have one, but he knew Oscar was really brave when Oscar started dating his sister. She can be a bit much; strong-willed and opinionated. Carly says she doesn’t know where Josslyn got that from. Michael says Josslyn is extremely competitive, and he was worried guys would be intimated, but not Oscar. He saw what an amazing woman she is. He was understanding, and got her sense of humor. He got how to make her laugh. It wasn’t long before Michael realized she was safe with Oscar. He was a true gentleman; a true Quartermaine. He bonded with their grandmother, and accepted them as family. They’re lucky to have known him. He will be missed.
Cameron gets up. He says, in the beginning, he and Oscar weren’t friends. Not until he started dating Josslyn. On the 4th of July, Oscar and Josslyn were waiting for the fireworks to start, and Cameron showed up, and started eating their snacks. If Josslyn had been his girlfriend, he would have said, get lost, but Oscar made room. That’s what Oscar did. No matter who you were, he always had room, and he’d keep making room – until you pissed him off. Then he punched you in the face. He tells them, Michael said Oscar was brave. When Oscar found out he had cancer, they really saw what brave is. Fighting a losing battle, refusing to give up. He kept waiting for Oscar to get better, or get angry and feel sorry for himself. He had his moments, but he never stayed in them when he did. He stuck it out until the end, and gave every day to the people he loved. It was easier to let go, but he held on. He was brave and courageous, and Cameron is grateful he knew Oscar. Josslyn mouths, thank you.
Carly tells Josslyn that she doesn’t have to do this. Josslyn says she knows, but gets up. She had a crush on Oscar from the beginning, the quiet and serious new guy. They didn’t cross paths much at school, but when they were both working at Lila’s Kids, they had a chance to talk. It was so easy. They actually talked about life; things that mattered. Over that summer, her crush faded and she got to see the real Oscar then. That guy was so much better than the one she dreamt of in her head. He was funny, and smart, and a ridiculously good listener. There were things they didn’t have in common; things she liked and he didn’t, and vice versa, but he was still her biggest supporter. She hopes he felt like she was his. Kim says, he did. Josslyn says, Cameron is right about Oscar. By the end, he wanted to live more than anything, but knew that wasn’t happening. He was going to a different place, but he wasn’t afraid. The part he hated most was leaving them there to be sad. So this having a party, skipping the bad stuff and going to the good, is exactly who he was. Not that the hard part isn’t there – it is – but it’s about where you put the emphasis. He wanted the emphasis on the good. She’s not there yet, but she’s going to really try. The good part was getting to know Oscar, and love him and be loved by him, and she never wants to forget.
Drew says, now’s as good a time as any, and gets up. He says, it’s a scary thing to find out you have a teenage son. He wasn’t there for Oscar’s childhood; the hard times when you need a father. Intellectually, it’s a huge bond, but there’s no blueprint.Oscar made it easy. The more time they spent together, the more he wanted to spend. He was endlessly fascinated by his son; the way his brain worked, his curiosity and generosity. He’s guarded, but Oscar wasn’t. He was open. His heart was too big not to share it. They would go on hikes, and Oscar would talk the entire way. He’d tell Drew about his life, and ask about Drew’s; the six years he can remember. Oscar was a gift. He wanted more, but in the time he had, he was able to be a father, and a chance to make it work. He’s eternally grateful. To know Oscar is to love him, but to be his dad is forever. He’ll always carry Oscar in his heart.
Ned says Oscar didn’t want the party to end there. To honor Oscar’s last wishes, please follow him to the park. Cameron, Josslyn, and Trina join hands as they leave.
At the park, Olivia tells the guests, every bag is full of flower seeds. Ned says, Oscar deserved more than a few bouquets. Instead, they’ll have an entire field, and thanks to the PC Parks and Recreation Department, the field will now be known as Oscar’s Meadow. He lifts a tarp to reveal a plaque embedded in a rock. Olivia says, the idea is to spread a few seeds today, and hopefully, in a month there will be a sea of flowers. Olivia asks if they’re ready. She counts to three, and the seeds are thrown. Ned says, this officially concludes Oscar’s celebration. Kim has something else to say. The celebration was beautiful from start to finish. It had Oscar written all over it. She thanks them, and says it was an honor and privilege to be Oscar’s mother. She had him as a single mom, and essentially all of his life, it was him and her. When she got his cancer diagnosis, it occurred to her that she’d been selfish. She hadn’t given him the opportunity to know his family. That’s why they came to Port Charles. She’s glad they did. Oscar just blossomed. He met Josslyn, he made friends, and had places to go and people to see, He got to know all of them, and got to love them. She can’t express enough how much they enriched his life. Monica opened her arms to Oscar and welcomed him into the family. She taught him what it meant to be Quartermaine, and it gave him comfort knowing where he came from. Oscar was thrilled when they found Drew. The things they shared, and that Drew taught him. How he loved Drew. Drew listened to him, understood, and supported him, and gave him courage in the end when hers ran out. She takes Josslyn’s hands, and thanks her for being Oscar’s first love. Anyone with less strength would have run. She thanks Josslyn for being her. She hopes Josslyn comes back to the meadow often, and thinks of Oscar. She hopes Josslyn goes on to live an incredibly happy life because it’s what Oscar would have wanted for her. They hug.
Back at the Quartermaine’s, everyone mingles. Drew says Ned planned the end with Oscar, and he doesn’t have the words to thank him. Ned says Oscar loved Drew, and he’s so very sorry he’s gone. Drew says, the meadow. Olivia says it can’t make up for the loss, but it put some beauty back in the world. Drew hugs Olivia, and wonders if Oscar will be there every day. Ned believes he still will be.
Franco tells Elizabeth, Cameron was impressive. Elizabeth says, he always comes through when it matters. Franco says, he’s a really good kid. It will get better soon between them, he promises. She says she has no doubt, and they kiss.
Carly asks Jax how lucky are they. He says Josslyn has a long road, and Carly says she jumped a hurdle today. He says there are more to come, but Carly says Josslyn will take them.
Josslyn asks what Cameron and Trina think about spending the 4th of July at Oscar’s Meadow. Cameron says, sounds like a plan. He tells Josslyn that she did great, and she says, him too. Trina says, what about her? She’s their pillar of support, the ballast that steadies the ship. Josslyn says, what she is, is a really good friend. They decide to go to Kelly’s. Josslyn and Cameron leave to ask their moms first. Josslyn says, ballast. Impressive.
Sam hugs Drew. She’d asks if he’s okay, but knows he’s not. She wanted him to know she thinks he’s a great dad. He proved it every day. He thanks her for saying that. The celebration was perfect. It was everything Oscar wanted, but he can’t stop wishing it was a birthday party, and Oscar was here, laughing with his friends, his arm around his girl. He didn’t get enough time with Oscar, and needs her help. She says, of course (🍷); anything. He says he wants be the best father for Scout. She says he is. He wants Scout to know he loves her and he’ll be there for her to support her. He doesn’t want to hold too tight or make her feel like she’s glass. He doesn’t want her know he’s afraid of losing her too. She says she knows him, and knows he’s not going to give into fear. He’ll give their daughter the best of himself; all of himself, every day. The same way he did for Oscar. She hugs him, and says she’s so sorry.
Kim touches the plaque. Sonny approaches and asks if she wants to be alone. He can leave. He knows she doesn’t feel like it now, but she’ll come to a point where she’ll get comfortable in knowing the lives Oscar touched. Right now, it feels like a void, or like she has to make a choice between the emptiness she feels or the rage she has because life is unfair. Oscar wouldn’t have wanted that. She’s gotta keep going. She’s got to focus on what she loved in him, and how much he loved her. He doesn’t know when, but she’ll find peace in that. He takes her hand, and says he’s sorry. She thanks him through her tears, and he leaves. She flashes back to Oscar asking her not to put the Ashbery Award bumper sticker on the car, and her saying, it’s the first award of many; one day, they can say they knew him when. She looks up to the sky, and says, I love you my beautiful boy; I always will, and she cries
Tomorrow, Felicia sees Robert with the engagement ring, Nina tells Willow it’s an unacceptable situation, and Julian tells Doc to get his hands off his sister.
Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part Two
Brittany asks why James apologized, and said he cares about Jax. James says he changed his mind, and he doesn’t give a flying. She says, the real him, and Jax applauds. Tom says Jax was talking sh*t about James’s girlfriend, so James talked sh*t about her. Brittany says James was talking about her family. Tom is supposed to be their best man. Tom asks if that means he can’t disagree. They’re all shouting and talking over each other, and Andy tells them, STFU. Lisa says, yay. Andy decides to take a break, and Jax tells Brittany, Tom is out of the wedding party.
The others leave for the moment, and Lisa tells James, sit and relax. He starts crying, and says he’s in shambles. She tells him that he’s got this. He’s doing okay, but he can’t be saying something about Jax’s father, and defame him. James says he had seven of them coming after him.
In the back, Brittany asks Tom why he won’t hold James accountable. He says he does, but he had nine people coming at him. Apparently, one of them can’t count.
Lisa tells James, it doesn’t matter.
Jax tells Tom that he doesn’t have to be in the wedding. Jax asks why he’s being attacked, and Tom says he’s not.
Puffy! Lisa sits with Puffy on her lap, and says, he’s a therapy dog. Jax says, and people say their show isn’t real. Andy and the others come back. Andy asks Jax in what way Jax has changed, and he says he’s not attacking everyone anymore, which is kind of funny in this context. Andy says Tom claimed he might go back to his old ways; he’s a recovering sociopath. Tom says he knows Jax gets affected by circumstances, and when the high wears off, he’s back to his old ways. He’s concerned. Jax wonders why Tom can’t say he’s proud. He’s damned if does, and damned if he doesn’t. Tom says he’s concerned for Jax and Brittany’s well-being. He’s being a friend, and coming from the right place, so he had to check with Jax. We flash back to Tom saying he hopes the change in Jax isn’t coming from Brittany being there when Jax’s dad passed away. Lisa thinks Jax is a good person, but he’s still self-serving. He realizes his life is better with Brittany in it, and relishes and treasures her for that reason. Andy says he seemed closed off and dismissive in therapy at times. We flash back to that, and Andy asks how that made Brittany feel. She says he was closed off, and it was annoying sometimes. Jax says it was his third or fourth time in therapy. Brittany says she never went before, and was nervous. Jax says when he did something wrong, he would just forget about it, but he was 100% wrong. Lisa says he’s an easy target. Andy asks if James thinks Jax is a changed man. James says they got in a fight, but he’s seen a change. Good for you, mate. Lisa tells Jax that James acknowledged he’s changed, but Jax says James doesn’t give a sh*t. James agrees that he doesn’t. Jax asks what he does care about? Kristen says he doesn’t care about anything.
Andy says Tom spilled the beans about her and Lala taking their relationship to the next level. He asks Ariana if they’d made a pact to keep the night a secret. Ariana says she thought it was unspoken that unless all three of them were on board, it wouldn’t be shared. Tom says he felt bad about it. He’d just picked up his car after eight hours of car shopping, and they were wasted when he picked them up. Ariana says she doesn’t even remember the car, and asks if Lala remembers getting in a fight with someone. Lala asks, what happened? and Ariana says she almost got in a fight, but they left. Andy asks if Tom was involved. Ariana says she wanted him involved, and Lala says Ariana kept calling his name. Then she told Ariana to get in the back, and Ariana asked Tom if it was okay. Ariana says she has manners. Andy asks if Rand knew, and Lala says, no, but her mom did. Andy says Tom seemed annoyed, but it’s every guy’s fantasy. Tom says he was exhausted, and just wanted a beer, but they kept telling him to drive them around. Andy asks if Lala identifies as gender fluid, and she says she’s hooked up with chicks, but prefers a pp rather than a vv. He asks how Schwartz would feel if Katie hooked up with a girl. He says, she has. He’s not opposed to it, unless they fell in love, and Katie tells him, be careful what he wishes for. Lisa says everyone has hooked up with a girl except her. Andy says, and him. He says, now Brittany has to come clean about her and Kristen. Brittany says she remembers making out and touching boobs, but nothing more. Lala says Ariana had been talking about being insecure. We flash back to her saying she didn’t even want anyone looking at her vagina.
Andy says we watched Ariana and Stassi forge a friendship. Stassi’s persistence and Ariana not giving a… We flash back to Ariana saying she didn’t give a flying. Andy asks at what point did Ariana decide she liked Stassi, but Ariana doesn’t think she has a moment. She got tired of fighting it. Stassi asks why Ariana keeps denying her love for her. She claims to have her muted on Instagram, and doesn’t remember making out. She’s calling bullsh*t. Andy asks how they came up with Winter Is Coming as a theme for their joint birthday party. Stassi says they both love Game of Thrones, and they’re both ice queens. Andy asks if Scheana is jealous of their friendship, but Scheana says she’s the one who tries to get everyone to be friends, and she’d given up. Ariana says, maybe that was the moment; Scheana gave up.
Andy tells us that TomTom is a smash hit. Schwartz says they had Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, LadyGaga, Paula Abdul, and Selena Gomez come in all in the same week. Lisa says some of them are friends of friends. Jax says Lady Gaga wanted to see Brittany’s boobs. Brittany says, unfortunately, she wasn’t there or she would have flashed Gaga. Jax had to show a picture, and Andy asks if Gaga liked them. Jax says she asked who Brittany’s doctor was. Andy moves on to the Daily Mail party. Everyone except Kristen was there. We flash back to Kristen lying in bed with the dogs, eating pasta. Andy asks, why notlet her come? but Lisa says it wasn’t her party. None of her friends there. James was DJing, the place belongs to the Toms, and it was Jax’s birthday. She didn’t want problems, and it wasn’t her place to invite anyone. Andy asks what Kristen thinks, and Kristen says Lisa likes to hold on to a grudge. Lisa says Kristen likes to jump into other people’s business. Andy says the TomTom opening was so great; the excitement, and pride Tom took in choosing the outfits and surprising his lover (i.e. Schwartz) with a motorcycle and sidecar. It was epic, and Andy kind of teared up. We flash back to Tom presenting Schwartz with his biking gear. Andy says it was a classic that he ran out of gas. Is he a motorcycle guy now? Tom says, more like a sidecar guy. He likes to take people for a spin, and asks if Andy wants a ride. Andy asks if Ariana is okay with it. They might get closer. Ariana says they did get him his own helmet, and Andy says, let’s go!
They go outside. Andy is given his helmet, and gets in. They start to go for a ride, but something goes wrong with the starter. A guy helps push them, and they take off again, but it stalls. Tom says, now it might be flooded. He tries starting it, but nothing. Tom says, good try, and Andy gets out. Tom tells him the problem with motorcycles is if you’re not riding them regularly, the battery dies and the engine isn’t warmed up. Sorry. Andy shrugs, and Tom pushes it back to the studio, saying, it’s so annoying.
Andy says, the cast accomplished a lot this year, but only one of them established their own holiday – Stassi’s Outfit of the Day. He asks how you buy a holiday, and Stassi says there’s an organization you apply to. You need to have a mission and a website, and submit it to them. She says, it’s not just about fashion, but feeling good about yourself. If you take extra time to put on an awesome outfit, you feel good. Andy points out that Lisa responded on Twitter by saying there’s an LVP Day on March 1st. He asks how Lisa celebrated, and she says she missed it; she was working.
Andy asks Katie if it isn’t being hypocritical to says James attacked her when she screamed at Lala. Katie says, that was over two years ago. He says she called Lala a whore, and she says that was girl on girl time. It wasn’t okay, but anyone who knows her, knows she has a sharp tongue. Lisa says she’s Katie’s biggest cheerleader, but thinks sometimes it’s Katie’s tonality. She needs a lesson on how to handle situations. Lisa adds that she doesn’t like ultimatums. Katie says she let things roll off for years, but James kept doing it, and she thought no more. At the end of the day, she doesn’t regret it. Schwartz says, she’s the ambassador of karma. James has done horrible things, but he’s apologized. Stassi says, he apologizes, but then does the same thing the next day. Tom tells James not to apologize, which comes out wrong, so Ariana translates, saying, if you don’t give a flying, don’t apologize because it means nothing. Andy asks if James has a grudge against Katie. He says he never had a grudge; he just doesn’t like her. Katie says, why? She’s the first person who’s making him be accountable. Everyone else lets him get away with it. Andy says Schwartz didn’t seem upset about the fat comment. Schwartz says he wasn’t happy, but thought she’d take it in stride, and just tell James to eff off. Katie says she did that for three years. She hears about her body now on social media, and it’s people like him who make her ashamed to be in her own body. James claims she said he was anorexic, but Katie denies saying that. I don’t remember, but if she did, I’m sure it was in response to one of his many fat comments. Tom says, Katie called Lala a whore, and waited two years to apologize. He calls her a hypocrite, and she says they all are. He says he’s not trying to get someone fired because they say he’s dumb. Andy says she called him out on how he spoke to women, and she got called out as a villain. Katie thinks they missed the point. It takes courage to stand up even if you make enemies. She’s proud of what she did, and thought it was noble. She’d never had the guts, and it felt good. She has no regrets. She’s modest too.
Brunchmaster General and SUR hostess Billie joins them. She’s completed her final surgery, and Billie says her body is now the way she always imagined it. Andy asks how her dating world is going, and she says it’s hard for a trans woman, but she’s putting out good vibes. She wants to have a baby, but will probably adopt soon. Andy asks if she had a little thing with Max, and we see a clip of Billie telling Lisa that she might be sleeping with her son. Lisa says Ken asked why Max stopped hooking up with her, and Max said, she’s a pretty girl. What’s the big deal? Billie says it was one drunken night, and they’re friends. Andy asks about Katie not inviting Billie to Girl’s Night, and Katie says they were just executing the process quickly; she wasn’t specifically not inviting anyone. Andy says she posted a note on Instagram, and tagged some of the women. Katie says that was just an oversight. Billie was upset, and took it as transphobic. We see Billie’s tweet about them leaving out the trans girl. Billie says she never said that word, pissing me off all over again because you can convey an idea without using the specific word. She says she liked a bunch of comments where people were upset with their workplace. Lisa says it’s upsetting, considering all the years she’s worked with the LGBTQ community. Billie thinks people aren’t aware, and Lisa says she’s been nothing but supportive. None of them have been anything but supportive. It was an oversight. She asks if Billie would label them as supportive, and Billie admits they have been. Andy asks for Stassi’s reaction, and Stassi says it was upsetting with Billie telling them to get their heads out of their asses. Ariana says, it’s not Katie’s fault, and Billie tells her she never said it was. Katie says she’s sorry Billie got left out of the post, but she has a life. Is she supposed to try and think of everyone who might be offended? Billie wishes America would do that. Nice try. She realized how stupid she’s sounding, and tried backtrack, and make a political statement out of it. I really wanted to like Billie, but I think her insecurities get the better of her. And I have to keep remembering, even though these people are adults, they don’t behave like adults. Andy ask how Girl’s Night compares to James’s See You Next Tuesday, and Katie thinks it’s much better. James says there’s never been a party like his that sold out, and he’s done sixty-seven of them. He tells Katie, see you next Tuesday.
Moving back to Lala. Andy says she’s gone from zero to one hundred a few times. We flash back to that. He asks why she has a hard having a conversation with someone who disagrees with her without yelling. She says it’s exhausting to school people on life. It’s a waste of time. Ariana feels Lala isn’t who she seems. She’s handling things poorly, but she’s gone through so much. Andy asks if Ariana still thinks Lala should toughen up. We flash back to Ariana saying that Lala is fragile right now, but she needs to toughen up. Ariana thinks she was looking at it from her own experience with the group. She went through the same thing and got no consolation. She was actively made fun of; Jax told her that she can’t play the dad card. Lala wonders why this group is numb to death. Schwartz says he was supportive, and Ariana thanks him. She says, even though it’s professional, it’s a volatile work environment. Maybe at that time, it wasn’t the best time for Lala to be working. Andy asks why Billie called Lala the DonaldTrump of SUR, and she says Lala projects non-stop, and says mean things to people. Stassi says, James2.0. Andy says Lisa didn’t totally believe what James said happened at the brunch with Lala screaming at Raquel and Billie. How did she feel watching it back? Lala says she’d do it again, and Lisa says she almost headbutted Raquel. That’s no way to behave. Lala says Raquel keeps coming to her when it’s feeding time in the lion’s den and doesn’t expect to get feasted on. Billie says she doesn’t know if Lala is on something, but she scares some people. Lala says, no blood was drawn, and Billie asks if blood has to be drawn for it to be aggressive. On that note, it’s time for Billie to leave the magic circle.
Andy tells us that Ariana and Tom have a big announcement. Ariana says she’s pregnant. Eight months; it’s super small. Tom explains they got a house. They’re just celebrating one month of living there. We see clips of them in their new place. Katie and Schwartz also have a house nearby. Katie says Schwartz couldn’t be away from Tom. Jax and Brittany are also joining the pack, as well as Kristen. Lisa is happy to see them progress. Andy says her kids are all growing up, and Lisa says they’re also making the right choices. Andy says it’s no coincidence that they got houses in the same neighborhood. They can all start having babies, Kaka says, baby time, and Schwartz says they’ll knock a few out. Brittany says they have plenty of room. She can’t wait to be a mama. As soon as it feels right, it’s going to happen. Andy says Ariana threatened to walk out if anyone asked her about having kids. She says people at events or on the carpet think it’s cute to ask Tom what his plans are after TomTom, but say she must be thinking about babies. Tom sees why she gets annoyed. Ariana says, if it changes, she’ll let them know.
Andy says Lala seems to go back and forth about being sober or drinking heavily. He asks what her relationship with alcohol is, and she says she loves it, but it’s abusive. Andy asks if something happened to cause her to get help. She says there were a lot of moments in her life that were alcohol driven, but she took a trip to Disneyworld with her and Rand’s families. She was drunk the entire time. In the plane on the way home, she was face-chugging from a bottle. The next morning, she decided she didn’t want to live this way again, and reached out to get help. She says she got sober on October 22nd, and never wants to drink again. Everyone applauds.
Andy asks Lisa why she thinks James is unable to follow her advice not to drink. She says, he’s his own worst enemy. Andy asks if he’s back to partying, and he says he’s been DJing and working a lot, but he’s not sober. Lisa says, he’s not always honest. James asks what they want him to say. Tom says it’s worse when he mixes alcohol with other things. James says he smokes weed, but Tom is talking about uppers. Good Lord, I haven’t heard anyone use that word in decades. I swear this group uses a 70s dictionary to communicate. Tom says that’s James’s kryptonite. James acts like he doesn’t know what Tom is talking about, and tells him to shut his mouth. Lisa tells him not to speak to Tom that way. He’s the one person who’s been on James’s side and has his back. Andy asks why James is angry today, but James insists he’s not. Lisa thinks he had a drink at lunch. Katie says, this is normal. James says he has eight people screaming at him. Okay, now it’s eight. One, two, three…. Kristen says he built the house, now he has to live in it. Stassi wonders why they should feel bad for him. James tells Stassi to stop playing with her ugly extensions, and everyone is like, see what we mean? Andy thinks they look great, but James says they’ll see what Twitter has to say. Lala doesn’t think James should say anything about that after his girlfriend came out wearing polyester. We see a clip of Raquel in that terrible dress.
Andy says James said sometimes he needs a drink to make him feel like himself. James says he gets social anxiety, and feels the need to be on. People want meet him a lot, and it gets hard. He feels like after a whiskey or two, he’s on. Andy asks if he’s still helping his family, and he says, of course, but he doesn’t want to go into detail. Kristen says he wants to act like he’s the only one who helps his family. Andy wonders why Kristen is chiming in, and Lisa tells him, that’s what she meant. James says he’s sorry he’s not so sparky today. Stassi is curious as to why the show focused on James helping his family, when every person there helps out their family. She thinks it’s unfair. Tom asks if Stassi helps her parents pay their rent, but Stassi doesn’t want to go into it. Why embarrass their families? Andy says, it’s compelling to watch. Schwartz admires that James helps his family, but Katie says he uses it as justification for his behavior. Lisa doesn’t think he does. Jax tries to say something nice, and James tells him, STFU. He says he was giving James a complement. Stassi says James won’t stop talking about how hates them. Andy asks how Lisa felt when she was called a mother figure by James’s mother. Answering a different question, she says, the perception of James would be 100% negative if they weren’t showing the other side. It’s very important to see his compassion, and him supporting his family. Katie says she’s been going through a helluva ride, battling depression for years, and James’s parents got divorced. Poor thing. Give her a break. Lisa says, it’s not quite like that. Kristen says half of their parents are divorced, and Lisa says, it’s not a competition. James asks if they’re kidding him, and Kristen says he was raised by effing a-holes. Lisa thinks that’s going too far, but Brittany says he called her family hillbillies. James walks off, saying he can’t listen to sh*t about his family, and have them not expect him to rip someone’s head off.
Next time, Beau joins the group, Lisa says both Jax and Ken are dirty dogs, and Kristen says she’s doing it on her own, but Katie says she’s still with Carter.
🐲 It’s late, and I’m behind. Long story about Mother’s Day flowers that weren’t delivered (do not use JustFlowers – I repeat, do not use JustFlowers), and took up an enormous part of my day. So even though you probably know by now, it was dracarys all over the place, I’ll throw in my two cents on Game of Thrones tomorrow.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Carly knows Jax loves Josslyn enough to rise above any differences he has with Sonny. She’s thanking him in advance. He says he just cares about their daughter’s happiness. Josslyn comes downstairs, and Jax hugs her.
Drew snoozes on the couch. Kim puts a blanket on him, and startles him awake.
Chase asks if Willow wants dessert. She didn’t take him for a sweets guy, but he says he’s an anything guy if it will cheer her up. She says she’s fine, and he says she’s amazing. She stepped up, shared her story, and got Kristina out from under Shiloh’s influence. Willow says it doesn’t mean it’s over for Kristina any more than it’s over for her.
Sonny tells Kristina she can always rent a room at his place, but Alexis says her room is ready and waiting. Sonny says he’s just giving her an option. Neil says, Kristina’s future is wide open. Alexis suggests pizza, since she has nothing in the house. Kristina asks if Alexis didn’t think she was ready to see the light. She was blind, but now she sees. She wonders if Sam will see the real truth about Shiloh.
Shiloh tells Sam that it’s time for the next step. Downstairs, Jason kicks in the door, and takes out his gun. Shiloh tells Sam, the pain will soon pass. Jason bust in, and whacks Shiloh in the back of the head. Shiloh falls over, unconscious, and Jason tells Sam, it’s over.
Kristina says Sam wasn’t part of the intervention, and thinks Sam would have sided with her. She might have even told Shiloh where Kristina was. Sonny says, Sam’s a wild card, and Alexis says, she’s rather close to Shiloh. Kristina says, Shiloh has a particular interest in Sam; even more than he did in her. Neil tells her, don’t try to get in Shiloh’s head. Kristina says, and focus on hers. Neil says they’re focusing on her tonight, and Sonny promises to look into it.
Valerie sits in Charlie’s with Brad and Lucas, and holds Wiley. She says she hasn’t seen them in ages, and Lucas says since she’s become a crime fighter, she hasn’t been available much. She says Lucas is always working, and Brad is always running off someplace or other. Lucas agrees, and Brad asks if Lucas doesn’t appreciate his interest in self-improvement. Lucas says it doesn’t come cheap. He’s pumped a lot of money into DOD. Valerie says, Brad is involved with DOD? and Brad says he’s been taking classes. Valerie tells him to stop. He doesn’t want anything to do with those people.
Kim apologizes for waking Drew, but he says he’s glad he woke up. He’s been slacking. Kim asks if he wants her to put him to work. She has to sort through a box of Oscar’s stuff, and thought he might want something for himself and something for Scout. He picks up a handmade ceramic, and says, salsa bowl? She says, ashtray, and she’s never smoked. She takes out a telescope, and Drew says it looks like it’s been used. She says before it was Oscar’s, it was hers, and before it was hers, it was his.
Jax tells Josslyn it’s good to see her. Josslyn says she missed him. She and Oscar were together constantly, and now he’s gone. Jax asks if she wants to tell him about it. She asks what he wants to know, and he says, everything. He has all the time in the world.
Chase knows Willow is still worried that Shiloh will find out about the baby, but he has no reason to suspect anything. Willow says, that’s what she thought. Then her mother came looking for her. Chase ask if she’s still a part of DOD, and Willow says, forever Shiloh’s number one fan. Her mother knew she was pregnant. She never told him, because she still thinks Willow will return – with coercion. Chase ask if she thinks her mother will say anything, but she doubts it. Her mother was jealous when Shiloh started paying attention to her. She couldn’t stop him, so she pushed Willow toward him, trying please him. How sick is that? Chase is sorry. She says the silver lining is that her mother would never want Shiloh to know something that would bind him to her; certainly not a baby, but to be safe she said she had a miscarriage.
Valerie tells Brad that what she and her partner discovered was disgusting. Sometimes DOD uses sex as coercion to keep members there. Brad tells Lucas, oh, he forgot. Shiloh’s been hitting on him. He says Lucas can’t be taking this seriously. Lucas says, the police are. Brad says, are they? Valerie says there isn’t an official investigation, but her partner has a first person account about unwanted advances. Lucas says he knew something was weird, but Brad says DOD does a lot of good. Valerie agrees they do great community outreach, but it’s eclipsed by what else is going on. Brad says she wouldn’t want to tarnish her hard-earned detective credentials for a disgruntled former member. She tells him that she’s just looking out for him and his family, and to watch his back. She leaves.
Jason helps Sam up. He says, Kristina had a breakthrough. She’s done with DOD and Shiloh. She show him where Shiloh started the tattoo, and asks how bad it is. He says she’s bleeding. She tells him to get Kristina’s Pledge in the record’s room, but he says, it’s not worth the risk. She tells him, go get it, and smashes a vase against the door, yelling, get out! When Jason is safely gone, she rouses Shiloh.
Valerie finds Chase, and says it turns out she has family in DOD. He asks, who? and says she can trust Willow. She says her cousin Lucas’s husband Brad. He won’t hear a bad word about DOD or Shiloh. They have to get the DA’s attention, and shut Shiloh down. Chase says they might have a witness. Kristina just left DOD.
Kim tells Drew that they could see every star. It must have gotten mixed up in her things, and by the time she discovered it, he was deployed. He should have it. She’s sorry; she forgot she had it. Drew says that reminds him. He shows her the picture he took out of Oscar’s book; the three of them after Oscar got the Ashbery Award. Drew says Oscar says it’s when Oscar was living in the DOD house. He guesses even though Oscar was furious with them, he wanted them near him.
The doorbell rings, and Drew goes to answer. It’s Curtis, who says he knows Drew has a lot going on. Drew says he’s fine, and they hug.
Josslyn tells Jax that Oscar’s parents were great. He says they knew she was a comfort to Oscar, and she says, she tried to be, but it’s not like they could have a real conversation most of the time. Jax says the medication does that, and Josslyn asks if that’s what happened to grandma. He says, yes. He would sit there, and she would just go on as if the nurses, IV, and hospital bed were normal. She would say, now, Jasper, don’t go off surfing and let my garden go to seed. Carly says, Lady Jane was one of a kind. Jax says she seemed like herself until then. Occasionally, she asked for his grandfather, who was gone by then, saying, if comes home drunk, there will be hell to pay. Jax says she never uttered a cross word unless she was really mad, and Josslyn asks what he would tell her when that happened. He says he would say, don’t worry. He has Jerry, so go back to sleep. Josslyn says he even knew what to say. She cries a little, and puts her head on the table.
Josslyn tells Jax that Oscar liked The Wind in the Willows. After all his time in the hospital, the beautiful, green English countryside sounded nice to him. They almost finished it. She’s sorry; she already said that. She was reading, and fell asleep, just for a minute, and when she opened her eyes, he was just lying there smiling. But he was so still. She didn’t want it to be true, but she knew. Jax promises that Oscar felt her love. He feels it now.
Chase says he’ll take Willow home, but she says hearing about Valerie’s cousin, she thinks DOD is everywhere. She doesn’t want to be alone. He suggests she come home with him, and she thanks him for being patient. She’s sorry she’s a basket case. He says she survived DOD, she protected her child, and reached out to help Kristina. That takes courage and strength. She needs to stop selling herself short.
Brad tells Lucas that he’s never seen anything sketchy. Lucas says he parrots everything Shiloh says, forks over money, and defends Shiloh blindly. Brad says he’s defending the guy who helped him. He’s been sleeping better, his anxiety is under control, and he’s stopped obsessing that they’ll lose Wiley. Lucas says he does seem calmer, and Brad asks, then what’s the problem. Willow approaches their table, and tells Brad not to let Wiley anywhere near Shiloh.
Sonny tells Kristina that he’s proud of her, and loves her very much. He’ll see her tomorrow. Kristina says she’ll try not to do anything crazy before then. Alexis walks Sonny out, and Kristina says, now would be a good time for a drink. Neil isn’t carrying, is he? Outside, Sonny offers to post guards just in case Kristina bolts, but Alexis says they have to trust her. She didn’t leave, and there will be more temptation without a locked door, but they’ll have to deal with it. Alexis doesn’t want her feeling like a prisoner.
Jason goes to the records room, unlocking the door with what looks like a crochet hook.
Shiloh says, his head, and Sam says he got hit pretty good. He asks, what happened? and she says, what does he remember? She should tell him that he had a seizure and freak him out. He says he started her initiation, and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor, and he heard a smash. He thinks Jason is the only person who would go so far to stop Sam’s progress. Sam says, he’s certainly capable, but if he comes after Shiloh, he won’t miss. A guy came in, ranting and raving about something Shiloh did to his kid. She threw a vase at him, and he ran. She would have gone after him, but didn’t want to leave Shiloh. She says they should probably call the police, but Shiloh says, no police. She asks, why? and he says, thisplace is a sanctuary to many. He doesn’t want the police turning it upside down. They’ll have to turn the other cheek, and go on with their lives. He suggests they finish what they started.
Neil tells Kristina that he doesn’t have any booze on him, but if he knows her mom, she’s probably got coffee. She says, since he mentioned it, how well do he and her mom know each other. Alexis comes back in, and says Kristina has a visitor. Valerie walks in, and Neil wants to talk to Alexis outside. Valerie says Kristina called her, and Kristina says she can explain. Valerie says she doesn’t have to. She’s just glad Kristina is okay. She’s curious about one thing though. Does Alexis have her number in her phone? How did Kristina reach her? Kristina says she committed Valerie’s number to memory a while ago. Valerie didn’t know people still did that, since they have no brains anymore, only phones. Okay, I added that last part. Kristina says, she does with the people she’s glad to have in her life. Valerie says, goodpolicy. Kristina knows they have a lot to talk about, but Valerie says it can wait until they have time. She’s sorry she came by so late, but she wanted to see for herself that Kristina was okay. Kristina says okay might be a stretch, but she’s getting there. Valerie says anything she can do to help, Kristina has her number. Kristina says there is one thing Valerie can do.
Willow says she told Brad to stay away from DOD. If he doesn’t believe her, believe Chase. Letting Wiley near Shiloh is bordering on abuse. Lucas says how they parent is none of her business, and she says they’re no parents at all if they trust Shiloh. Wiley deserves better. Lucas says she doesn’t know what’s best for their son, and tells her, stay away.
Curtis hugs Kim. He’s sorry about Oscar. He was a great kid. Kim says, he was. She says she’s going to get sorting through this, and takes the box. Drew says it’s good to see him. Curtis asks if Drew wants to talk. Drew says Jordan is in crisis because of him. Curtis says they went over this, and it’s not Drew’s fault. Drew says he was behind wheel, and asks how Jordan is. Curtis says she had a setback, but she’s been bumped up on the transplant list. All they need is a donor, and they may have one.
Jax thinks maybe Josslyn should go back to bed, but she says she can’t really sleep. She keeps dreaming of Oscar, and wakes up thinking he’s still there. Jax says, he is, in her heart. She says she wants him there too, and Jax says she’ll never really lose him. Lady Jane is still with them. She’s there every time he hears the song she sang him to sleep with when he was a kid. Josslyn says, Lavender’s Blue. Jax starts to sing, and she joins in with him.
Sam says she’s worried about Shiloh. He took quote a hit. He says once the ceremony has started, it can’t be stopped. He stumbles a little, and Sam says it will have to wait. She helps him to the couch.
Valerie asks Kristina what she needs, and Kristina says, advice; the legal kind. Valerie wonders why she can’t ask her mom, but she says she’d rather ask a friend. Say she gave something to an individual for safe-keeping; a proof of wrongdoing by someone close. She wants it back, but the individual won’t hand it over. Valeria, is there a threat if she doesn’t comply? but Kristina says, it hasn’t gone that far. What should she do under the circumstances? Valerie says, report it. It sounds like blackmail
Neil remarks that there are a lot of stars, and Alexis says there were a lot more at her other house on the lake. He asks why she gave it up, and she says, orange carpeting – and it burned down. She’s worried her daughter will bolt back to Shiloh if she says the wrong thing. He says, impressive, and she says, whatis? He says her ability to assume guilt for imagined events. The debate about the origins of guilt says it might have been developed to foster relationships; so that when people lived in close quarters, they didn’t kill each other. He thinks it’s so we learn from our mistakes. Why do something to someone you love twice, if you feel horrible. She says, it keeps happening, and he asks what she gets out of it. She says they’re used to it. Lots of feelings are inconvenient or confusing; she can live with this one. He thinks she can do without it. What say she give it a try? She looks at the stars.
At Chase’s apartment, Willow asks Chase, what was he saying about her strength? He says she looked pretty tough giving Brad and Lucas a piece of her mind. He gets it. She’s watching them do what she tried avoid. It’s personal for her.
Curtis tells Drew that they’re waiting for confirmation that the donor is suitable. Drew says he needs good news, especially today. Curtis says he’s there to spread some love. Drew says he’s closing a big deal, and will have an influx of capital soon. He feels responsible, and wants to cover the medical bills. He says, there’s less good in the world today than there was yesterday. He’s filling the hole. Do him a favor.
Sonny finds Jax in the living room, and asks when he got in. Jax says, this afternoon; he came straight there. Sonny asks if Jax wants a scotch, and Jax says, sure. Sonny asks if there were any problems on the trip. Jax says there were some extra questions at customs, but nothing his new green card couldn’t fix. He hears congratulations are in order; another baby. They clink glasses. Sonny says Josslyn needs him there. She’s gone through a lot, and is incredibly brave. Jax says she is. Carly comes downstairs, and Jax asks how Josslyn is doing. Carly says, she’s fast asleep. The lullaby worked. She asks if Jax and Sonny are getting along okay, and Sonny says, peachy.
Sonny tells Carly, they’re great, and Jax says they’re catching up. He should probably go. He needs to check in. Carly says they’re getting his suite ready. He says it won’t be for long. Lucy is going to show him some properties. Sonny says, to rent? and Jax says, to buy.Kate’s (aka Connie) old place is for sale. Maybe they’ll be neighbors. Sonny says, that would be great, and Jax leaves. Carly looks at Sonny.
Sam sits Shiloh down. He says he’s okay, but she tells him let her get ice. He says the others will be back from Beecher’s Corners soon. He doesn’t want to inconvenience her. She says, it’s no trouble, and he thanks her. She saved his life. She thanks him, saying, he and DOD save her life every day.
Curtis says what Drew is offering means everything, but he and Jordan aren’t there yet. When they are, he promises he’ll call Drew. On one condition, that Drew promises to call Curtis if he needs him. Drew nods.
Kim calls Shiloh. She wonders if they can meet. She’d like to talk to him about her son. He says his door is always open to her. Sam comes back with ice, and puts it on his head. Shiloh says this isn’t how he envisioned the day, and she says her neither. He hopes she’s not too disappointed, and promises to finish what they started.
Lucas tells Brad, it’s bizarre. Brad would never do anything to jeopardize Wiley; he’d do anything for Wiley. He asks Brad to tell him the truth. Why is she so worried about DOD? Brad doesn’t know. He tells Lucas that he doesn’t feel so good, and excuses himself. Lucas shrugs at Wiley, and makes a call. He says he needs to have a conversation about him and his family.
Chase says Willow doesn’t have to say anything she doesn’t want to. Her secrets are her own. He wants to be there if he can, and needs to say something. He tells her to chime in if she wants or tell him to shut up. He says there are other kids running around DOD, and she cares for them like anyone else, but she hasn’t sought out their parents like did with Brad. Is protecting Wiley from Shiloh important because he’s the same age as her kid, or is or is Wiley especially vulnerable? Willow says he knows why. Wiley is her son.
Alexis says Neil is supposed to be working for her daughter, not her. He says, it’s May. He has a two for one special. He tells her, rest up. They start work again tomorrow.
Valerie tells Kristina, the only way to disarm a blackmailer is to accept the information will see the light of day. It will hurt people, but she doesn’t want Kristina hurting. She doesn’t have to go it alone. She reached out once before, don’t be afraid do it again.
Sonny picks up the phone, and says he’s buying Connie’s house. Carly says, because of Jax? It will be good for Josslyn if he moves there, and the rest of them will just have to deal with it. Jason comes in, and says he was too late. Shiloh replaced the Pledges with blanks. He took everything home, and there was nothing but blank paper in the folders. Carly wonders how he knew, and Jason says he probably removed any incriminating evidence after they had the cup tested. Carly says they’re back to square one, but Sonny says, Shiloh was only safe when Kristina was around. Now Shiloh doesn’t have her anymore.
Tomorrow, Anna tells Robert to leave Alex’s past alone, Lucas confronts Julian, and Jason tells Sam that she’s off the hook.
The Real Housewives of New York City
Everyone needs therapy. The end.
Halloween Night. LuAnn meets with makeup artist Mary. In her interview, she says it’s not just any Halloween party. The venue is tricked out to be a hospital, and everyone will feel like they entered an asylum.
Dorinda gets her sequins ready. I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be.
Sonja is waiting on her nurse’s outfit. She can’t wait to see Bethenny. If she has garters on, Sonja is drinking and sucking Bethenny’s face off.
Online, Bethenny sees her sexy angel costume on someone twenty years younger. Her makeup guy says all of the Kardashians were angels this year.
Tinsley says she hasn’t been a sexy, slutty nurse in a while.
Luann tells Mary that her backup singers are hot. In her interview, she says since started doing the cabaret, her appearances are stepping up. She’s shooting for nurse gone Madonna.
Barbara shows up as Slash. Sonja doesn’t know who Slash is, but says she definitely looks like him.
Bethenny arrives, along with her gigantic wings. She’s the first one there of the group, and dances with LuAnn’s music director. In her interview, she says LuAnn sent out a group text, saying she knows they don’t want to be out late, so she’ll be performing at eleven. Bethenny is waiving her school night rule. She can’t imagine being sober there, and the music director says LuAnn is reckless. In Bethenny’s interview, she says it’s a testament to LuAnn’s her sobriety to be in this kind of environment this soon. It’s where alcohol was born to live. John follows Dorinda’s sequins in as Death. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she had to put John’s tongue back in his mouth and sew it up when he saw Bethenny. Sonja urges LuAnn to hurry. Dorinda is shocked because she didn’t recognize Barbara. She tells Bethenny that she has her date for the night. The costumes are amazing, and this reminds me of NYC Halloween parties past that I attended. We won’t speak of that time…
Mary tells LuAnn, the makeup will be different from cabaret. I would hope so. Ramona is a no-show, and in her interview, Sonja says Ramona doesn’t fool her. She’s at Omar’s, social climbing. Dorinda says she’d rather be at Omar’s. In Bethenny’s interview, she thinks it’s weird that LuAnn didn’t come out to say hi. John says big stars make people wait, and thinks it’s too much. Sonja wonders why LuAnn didn’t say hello, and Tinsley says she has to rehearse.
At 11:30, Bethenny says she has to go in four minutes. Sonja says LuAnn did hair and makeup for three hours at the hotel. LuAnn is ready to roll, but Bethenny has to leave.
Everyone cheers when LuAnn hits the stage. In Dorinda’s interview, she says it’s fascinating how the energy increases when LuAnn comes out to sing her two songs. At the end of Money Can’t Buy YouClass, confetti explodes. In her interview, LuAnn says she’s no J Lo, but thinks she did okay. Tinsley says she had several drinks, danced her face off, saw LuAnn, and now it’s time to go. LuAnn is miffed that Bethenny left, and Dorinda tells her that Ramona never showed up. In LuAnn’s interview, she can’t understand why Bethenny had to get home to her daughter. Is Bethenny going to watch her sleep? Um, no. She has to relieve the babysitter, you self-centered jerk.
The next morning, Dale works on a needlepoint stocking, while Tinsley makes coffee. Dale says, it’s yoga for the mind. She tells Tinsley how much she loved watching her in the circus. It was like the dance recitals she never had. Tinsley shows her mother mug shot coasters she’s had made. She gave some to LuAnn, but it didn’t go over well. We see a clip of that, and LuAnn saying Tinsley’s sense of humor sucks. Tinsley tells Dale that she was emotional about the circus, and it hit her that her dad would have loved it. It hit her about Scott too, and she lost it. It surprised Dale, who thought she’d be on a high. In Tinsley’s interview, she says she’s acting like everything is okay, and she’s relieved about the break-up, but it was the opposite. Although, if she was going to lose it, she might as well do it looking like a clown. Dale says it would have been nice to have a boyfriend to share it with. Tinsley says all the things she’s not getting were there, but she’s not in a position to have a family. Dale says Scott made her believe he and Tinsley were on the same page. Tinsley says she knows what she wants, but doesn’t want to have a kid without a husband. In her interview, she says she hasn’t given up on her dream; someone to share her child with other than her mother. It’s not normal. She tells Dale that she needs to get her mind off of it. She wants to do some volunteer work, and hopefully attract a man who wants to be around that. Dale says Sonja claims Tinsley is going to have men chasing her.
Ramona, Sonja, and Dorinda meet some other women at a restaurant, including speed skater BridieFarrell, who’s CEO of New York Loves Kids. Ramona explains that it’s a charity focused on sexually abused kids. Bridie says when she was thirteen, another skater moved to town, and abused her. She never said anything, but eventually shared the story many years later. The next day, he admitted it, but because of the statute of limitations, she can’t touch him. Ramona says if she talks about it, maybe other kids will come forward, although I think she probably knows that. In Ramona’s interview, she says she’s passionate about changing the statute of limitations, since children aren’t likely to come forward. It takes maybe ten years. She tells Bridie that she’s going to make it happen. She wants more recognition for the charity, and to make it grow. She keeps calling Bridie Birdie, and in her interview, Sonja says, get her name right, Romina. Ramona suggests $200 a person, and Sonja says Birdie can exploit them, adding she does children too. Which is probably not the best choice of words under the circumstances. Sonja says they might not be the most eloquent, but they’re passionate.
John comes by Dorinda’s new place with a giant paperwhite housewarming gift. In her interview, Dorinda says she hasn’t brought anyone to the apartment yet. She didn’t want anyone’s opinion, and wanted it to be hers. It’s the first thing in twenty-five years that’s all hers. She tells John about how she’s placing the furniture. John says since it’s three bedrooms, he guesses they must be starting a family. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, marriage is for the young. At her age, she doesn’t even want to take care of a plant. Both of their personalities wouldn’t fit in one apartment. She’s gotten very independent, and maybe in the long run, it won’t work for John. She tells him that she slept horribly last night, and he says that’s because he wasn’t there. He’s shipping his clothes there, and getting his own closet and sink. It’s a new chapter. Dorinda says she’s just going to make it hers.
As usual, Bethenny is the first to arrive for lunch with Dorinda, Tinsley, and Sonja. Dorinda and Tinsley come in next, and Bethenny asks if Dorinda loves her place. Dorinda says she wants it to be about her. She’s not doing anything for anyone else. In her interview, Dorinda says she’s not being a bitch, but she will be if someone wants to stay there. Sonja finally joins them. Oooh! A seafood tower is served. Bethenny says LuAnn texted that she heard Bethenny’s costume was over-the-top. LuAnn was in blackface with an afro last year. We flash back to that. Tinsley thinks it’s a bit of a dig. I’m not so sure about that. It could be an insult, but it can also be referring to the wow factor. Lady Gaga is often over-the-top, and it’s in a good way. Most of the time. Bethenny says when LuAnn is being the Countess, she takes an insult, and wraps it in a bow. We flash back to quite a few of those, going back to 2008. Dorinda says she told LuAnn that Bethenny left after her performance, and LuAnn asked if Bethenny was going to watch her daughter sleep. Bethenny asks if LuAnn left her kids alone to go out nightclubs when they were little. Why is LuAnn making digs at her? We flash back to the fish room incident. Dorinda it’s all about what’s happening with LuAnn. It’s all cabaret. With the Countess, it’s a one-sided deal right now. In Dorinda’s interview, she says for some reason, LuAnn is being snarky with Bethenny, when Bethenny has been her advocate. It seems self-destructive. Bethenny thinks LuAnn has delusions of grandeur, and Sonja says, she’s surrounded by groupies who fan the fire. Bethenny says her temperature is rising. She’ll be there for the next intervention.
Dorinda goes back to her old apartment because she still has stuff there. She says she hasn’t seen it empty since 2001, when she bought it. She only moved back because life changed drastically, and not for the good. Hannah arrives, and thinks it’s weird. In her interview, Dorinda says she hasn’t sold it yet. She might rent it, and then maybe Hannah and whoever can move in and have a baby. She brings out a Halloween scarecrow. Hannah wonders, of all things, why it’s there, and Dorinda says decorations were 70% off. It’s for next year. Hannah says Dorinda can’t put all of her money in decorations. Dorinda says they had bad times there, but good times too. Hannah says she hated the place. Well, there goes that baby idea. She says when she was younger, it was a different place. She didn’t want to move forward. She came there and stopped, and felt like she kind of died. She says she was so scared. In Dorinda’s interview, she says they didn’t move back because they were happy. Richard had died, and they did things that maybe they shouldn’t have, like drinking and avoidance. They did a lot of grieving in that apartment. It housed them, but it wasn’t the best of times. Hannah says now she feels like an entirely different person. When they lived there, they were on top of each other, and fighting all the time. Dorinda says, it became a prison, and they didn’t know how to get out. They were surviving. Hannah says she sometimes feels that it was of their own making. Dorinda says someone they loved very much died. Hannah doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, Dorinda says, it’s time to let go, and start fresh. In six months, this move will be the beginning of wonderful things. Dorinda is sorry it evokes sad feelings, but Hannah says it evokes happy memories too. They’ve come so far.
At Bridie’s fundraiser, Ramona tells Bridie that the set-up is stunning. In her interview, Ramona says she’s glad she spearheaded the event. She started with getting the location, and did all of the work. She’s proud.
Sitting in traffic, Albi tells Bethenny that they won’t get to the red carpet until 7:30. She’s supposed to go to a Victoria’s Secret fashion show that she was invited to first, and doesn’t think she can make both that and Ramona’s fundraiser. She’s wearing a revealing black rubber dress, and says, it’s a charity event.Imagine walking in like this. She knows she’s going to catch hell.
The fundraiser starts. In Sonja’s interview, she says Dorinda looks amazing. When you move, you always find things in the back of your closet. Dorinda is skinny now, so she can wear her skinny clothes. Ramona says she got a text from Bethenny telling her happy birthday, and they had a nice exchange, but now she’s not coming. LuAnn comes in, and Ramona gripes that she asked Bethenny to come by for just thirty minutes, and she can’t. She isn’t mad; it makes her sad. LuAnn says Bethenny didn’t stay at the Halloween party. Even though she was there for three hours. She thought Bethenny could stay at least ten more minutes. Sonja says Ramona didn’t even come. Since it’s always good to start the evening with complaints, Dorinda wishes LuAnn had said hi, but LuAnn says she was getting dressed. In Sonja’s interview, she says LuAnn should do what every diva does. Say you were looking for them, and couldn’t find them. Don’t be defensive. She was expected to kiss their rings. They’re divas too.
Harry Dubin shows up. LuAnn says, their favorite person. Ramona jets over to him. In Sonja’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to talk to him, and Ramona invited him. Does Ramona want him? Sonja says Harry loves her, but he’s an itch she can’t scratch. We flash back to Harry giving her a ring, and then him going off with LuAnn. Sonja says Ramona ditched them for Harry, and Ramona says she loves Harry. Sonja says she’s doing it in general. She left the circus early for a date, and didn’t show for the Halloween party. In her interview, Ramona says there are only 24 hours in a day. How is she supposed to meet a guy if she’s hanging out with them? She double-books. LuAnn asks if Sonja is excited about visiting her place upstate. In her interview, LuAnn says she can’t wait for the girls to visit. Ramona tells her to feel free to celebrate both her and Bethenny’s birthdays. Which I’m sure means just hers. She says her friends are taking her out on her actual birthday. LuAnn asks if they’re invited, and Ramona says, no. She says her friend Lucia is hosting it. Sonja says she knows Lucia. We see a clip of Lucia says she’d like to invite Sonja if there’s space, and Ramona saying there isn’t. 😮 LuAnn says, so she’s also supposed to celebrate upstate? Ramona says she likes lots of birthday parties. They can all have one for her. In her interview, Sonja says she can’t believe Ramona has the balls to say they’re not invited. She’s not throwing Ramona a party. Dorinda thinks it’s bullsh*t. I’m just… I don’t even know. Who does that? Even though I’ve been watching her for years, it’s always a revelation to discover how self-centered Ramona can be.
In Ramona’s interview, she says she had nothing to do with the list. They invited the people, not her. We again see Lucia asking to add Sonja, and Ramona nixing that idea. Wow. Just wow. She says she has lots of friends, and everyone can’t be invited. I’m hoping lots of those friends see this, and she has a lot less friends after it airs. Sonja asks if Ramona is on a social climbing thing. In Dorinda’s interview, she says, birthdays are for ten-year-olds. You get them a Barbie or some other toy, not give them a hundred bucks toward a new Chanel bag. It’s narcissistic and self-serving. The whole thing is off-putting. Ramona looks at the auction items with Harry, telling him that he can buy her something. She looks at a necklace LuAnn donated, and says he can buy her that. He tells her to try it on. He sees LuAnn, and says she looks gorgeous. She tells him that she bought a house upstate. It’s quiet and chill. She didn’t know Ramona and Harry were an item, and he says he never said that. They’ve gone out a few times, and this brings back memories. In LuAnn’s interview, she says if Harry and Ramona were really an item, it’s enough for her to gag. It’s gagable. LuAnn has to leave, and Barbara shows up.
Ramona says she has to make a speech. Dorinda, Bridie, and Sonja go up front with her. She thanks everyone for coming. She tells Sonja not to laugh, and Sonja says it’s because Ramona will cry at the drop of a dime. Ramona asks why Sonja is doing this to her? Mind you, this is in front of all the people who have come to this fundraiser. Dorinda tells Ramona, start over. Ramona again calls Bridie Birdie, and Sonja corrects her. Ramona says it was put together at the last minute, and Sonja tells her not to cry. Ramona says Sonja is upsetting her. Dorinda can stand it no longer, and tells them to stop. Ramona tries again, saying because of them, they’re raising money and getting recognition. Children who have been sexually abused are afraid to come forward. Dorinda keeps talking while Ramona is speaking, and keeps saying to tell them it can be a friend of the family. Sonja thinks they should hear it from the horse’s mouth, referring to Birdie Bridie. Bridie says she told her story for the first time in five and a half years. Until people share their story, no one knows. Dorinda interrupts, and Ramona says, let her finish. Sonja says, clip. Clip-clip-clip. Dorinda says don’t mock her. Bridie – who has to be absolutely humiliated – soldiers on, saying when she shared her story, the next day, the man who molested her, admitted it. Nothing can be done because of the laws, and until everyone gets involved… While she’s speaking, Dorinda won’t shut up, even though she’s using a low inside voice. She tells Sonja, don’t ever do that to her again. In her interview, Ramona says she was mortified. She brought 120 of her friends, and they embarrassed her. Bridie thanks everyone for coming.
Dorinda says Sonja was being aggressive. Sonja says at least they raised the money already. Ramona gripes to Bridie, and Sonja says Ramona and LuAnn are on their high horses.
Next time, Sonja stays with LuAnn upstate, the women visit LuAnn, Barbara says she’s sexually fluid (they just have to be hot), Barbara tells LuAnn not to forget who her friends are, and Bethenny confronts LuAnn.
Westeros was the first place to actually have Starbucks, it’s a little known fact. – Game of Thrones executive producer Bernie Caulfield
📡 Bridie’s Story…
While I’m not normally all that serious here, and certainly not serious about the Housewives, I thought I’d take the opportunity to pluck a gem from the rubble.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Carly comes down to find Jax. They hug.
Anna tells Finn that Robert drives her crazy, but has a way of giving her clarity. She realized the truth was staring her in the face. Peter isn’t her son.
Peter takes Maxie onto a private plane. He wanted to make sure their overdue date was special. She says, a five-star restaurant is special. This is… She tells him it’s hard to pack when you don’t know where you’re going. Is he going to tell her? He says, guess. She guesses they’re going to see a Broadway show in New York. He says, no, but it’s a city. She says, LA? Chicago? Are they going to Portland to see Georgie? He says, no, but he’s filing that away for next time. Think bigger, like internationally. She says it’s a good thing she always takes her passport, and he says he took that into consideration. He says there are bridges, and a tower by a guy named Eiffel. She says, they’re going to Paris?
Michael tells Willow, yesterday was huge for Kristina and his family. He knows it was intensely painful, but Willow says, it was for a good cause. Michael says, that doesn’t make it easier, and thanks her again.
Neil tells Kristina that she’s free to go. The choice is hers. Chase appears at the door and says, there sheis. He tells Kristina that she’s not an easy person to find.
Sam arrives at DOD. Shiloh says he was beginning to think she changed her mind. She hands him the recorder, and says it’s her Pledge to him and everything he stands for. She goes inside, and he smiles behind her back. She says, it’s so quiet, and wonders where everyone went. He says they went to a rally in Beecher’s Corners. Normally, he’d be there, but her Pledge requires his special attention. He listens to what she’s recorded.
Anna tells Finn that she has no way of knowing how Cabot’s procedure worked, but guesses it’s a memory that Alex wouldn’t be strong enough to carry on her own; giving birth to a son, and giving him up for adoption. That’s the memory that was implanted; she knows it. She says she should hate Alex, but she doesn’t. She feels kind of sorry for her.
Maxie says she hasn’t been in Paris in forever, and even then, it was only for work. Tell her about it. He describes some sights, and she says he’s using a lot of words she can’t pronounce (and I can’t type that fast). He says he’s talking about the stained glass. When the sun hits it; it’s stunning. He says they can get ice cream, and the best falafel she’s ever had. She says, dessert before lunch? She’s in. She wonders if they can get a croissant in there, and he says they can get one at the metro. She says, bread from a subway station? She’ll see. The attendant says they’re ready for take-off.
Sam asks Shiloh if there’s something wrong. He’d assumed the secret would be about her, but she says she’s already told him all her secrets. He says, it’s about Jason. That means Jason still matters to her. She says, of course (🍷). He’s Danny’s father. He’ll always be a part of her life, whether she likes it or not. Doesn’t it show him how far she’s willing go for him and DOD? She’s putting her own son’s father at risk. He says he’ll transcribe a copy for her to sign. Since she’s already made her financial contribution, they can start her initiation now.
Sonny tells Chase that they’re having a family gathering. He asks who Neil is, and Neil introduces himself, adding that he’s a psychologist. Sonny asks what brings Chase by, and he says he was looking for Kristina. Valerie got a call from her, saying she needed help. Sonny says they got things sorted out, but Chase wants to hear that from Kristina.
Carly says Josslyn will be happy to see Jax. He tells her to let Josslyn rest. Carly says she hasn’t done a lot of that lately. It’s been heart breaking for her, but she’s she’s been strong and so brave. Jax wonders where she gets it from. Carly wishes she could do more to get Josslyn through it, but Josslyn won’t let her. She had to experience all of it. Jax says she’s done more than she knows, and Carly says so has he. He made time to speak to Josslyn every night. She’s sure the time difference made it complicated. She thinks the distance made him a safe place for Josslyn to stay. She could describe Oscar to someone who wasn’t there watching him die. He says he struggled about whether he should get on a plane immediately, but she thinks it was more helpful to wait. He did the right thing, the best thing, by showing up now. Josslyn needs her dad.
Finn asks how Anna feels, and she says it’s complicated. She’s relieved that it wasn’t her who put on a wig and went to Faison. He was a monster. Now she knows she never… Finn says, it’s a huge plus. He can’t imagine how she must have felt; how freaked out and panicked she was. She says, technically, she can, but it wasn’t her; it was Alex. The irony is, Valentin suspected it. When they had that conversation. he never said if it was Alex or her. She never thought she’d be saying this, but she should have listened to him.
Willow and Michael sit outside Kelly’s. Willow says, it’s comfortable. Opening up to him about the pain of missing her son, and now it’s same way. It’s mortifying that she could ever think of being with Shiloh. Michael says he forced her to do something she’d never do on her own, and not to blame herself or think she chose it. It was completely wrong. He suggests maybe she should talk to somebody. He had a similar experience, and didn’t want talk to anyone, but it helped. She says she’ll look into it. Nina approaches their table.
Kristina tells Chase that she just needed get away for a few days. Alexis says Neil was available for some much needed counseling. Kristina says she feels better now, and Chase says there were some concerns, so he was following up. Kristina says she’s right there. She’ll call Valerie when she goes home. Chase says, sorry to bother them, but Alexis says, no apology necessary. After Chase is gone, Neil tells Alexis that her family is adept at… Alexis says, lying? He says he was looking for a more delicate word, but yes. Kristina asks if Alexis rented out her room, or put in a home gym. Alexis says Kristina knows she doesn’t work out. They hug.
Jax tells Carly, it appears congratulations are in order. She thanks him, and he asks when she’s due. She says, late September, early October. He asks if there will be the same complications as with Josslyn, but she says, not this time. She’s being monitored carefully, and she’s eating super healthy. He’d be proud. He says it explains what was going on with Josslyn. She asks what he means, and he says a few weeks ago, during the Niagara Falls incident, he sensed she wanted tell him something, but she didn’t say anything. Carly says, Josslyn has been caught up in everything Oscar. If she has an opinion, she didn’t share it. He says he can lecture her, but she says, please don’t. He’s happy for them, especially Josslyn. After the loss she’s suffered, she gets a new person to love. Carly thanks him for being so wonderful. Jason comes in, and tells Jax that Milo said he was there. He asks if it’s a bad time, but Jax says it gives him a chance to say hi, and thank him.
Shiloh tells Sam, typically, for the initiation, she’d wear a special garment, and her fellow Trust members would be there. Sam is glad it’s just the two of them, and he says he is too. He holds out the cup, saying, something to calm her nerves. She asks if she seems nervous, and he says, no. She tells him that she doesn’t need that. She wants to be fully aware of everything he has planned, and experience it all. He says there will be pain, but she thinks she can handle it. She reclines on the pillows, and he promises, the discomfort will pass, and be followed by pleasure.
Jax says it’s good to see Jason. Carly was thrilled when she found out he was alive. She says, thrilled and grateful he’s been there for her. She’s especially grateful he’s been there for Josslyn. He’s been great, giving her someone to really talk to. She melted down on him. He’s been a good friend. Jax knows what a good friend he is to have, and on behalf of their daughter, thanks him. Jason says they don’t have to thank him. Josslyn is amazing. She’s confident, determined, and one of the bravest people he knows. She’s like Carly in a bunch of ways, but he sees a lot of Jax; compassion, joy, and kindness. Carly says, excuse me? She’s joyful and kind. She’s as joyful as you can get. They just look at her, and she says, what?
Nina tells Michael that she’s sorry to hear about his cousin. Such a tragedy; he was so young. She asks how Josslyn is, and Michael says, hanging in there. It’s very difficult for her. Nina asks him to give his family her condolences. She says, on that note, Sasha is doing great. She thanks him for coming see Sasha, and Michael says he might have given her that cold. Nina is glad they’re both on the mend. Michael asks Willow if she wants coffee, and Willow says, that would be great. He goes inside, and Nina wonders if she’s misreading the situation. Willow asks what she’s talking about, and Nina says Willow knows exactly what she’s talking about.
Anna tells Finn that she can practically pinpoint the time she was taken to the cabin. After Peter was born, and the adoption was arranged in Brussels. Finn says, it makes sense. Anna says it must have been the thing resonating with Alex at the time the transfer happened. It would have been at the top of her mind, and explains why it was given to her. She has to hand it to Cabot; it really worked. Even though she knows it’s Alex and not her who gave birth to Peter, it doesn’t change any visceral feelings. She can remember the creaky stairs, the smell of the room, the midwife. She’s glad it was her sister, but it still feels like it was her. Finn says, in her heart, she still feels like Peter’s mother? and she says, yeah, she does, and she doesn’t want him to know she’s not.
Maxie tells Peter about going to dinner at an out of the way place. It only had eight tables, and the best escargot. He says escargot along with her, and tells her it’s his favorite restaurant in Paris – La Petite Cote, the little cave. Maxie can’t believe it. He asks when she was there, and she says, seven years ago for Fashion Week. He says he was there in the spring of 2012. Imagine if they’d met. Maxie wonders if they would have liked each other, and he says he probably would have asked her out. She says she probably would have said yes, and suggests they’d have gone to dinner at La Petite Cote. He says, that’s a fifth date spot. She says then they would have gone somewhere flirty and superficial. Then she would have gone back to the states, and they would probably have never seen each other again. He’s glad it didn’t work that way. He’s glad they got know each other’s hearts first. Maxie excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
Michael gets a text from Sonny – Your sister is back. Thank Willow. Outside, Nina says, Michael’s cousinjust died, and Willow says, it’s awful. She tells Willow, to save this wrist on forehead for her boyfriend Chase. Willow asks if Nina is accusing her of hitting on Michael. Nina says she knows women like Willow. They play the victim, and need attention from men. She scored with Chase, and now she needs Michael to fill the bill? Willow says, that’s ridiculous, and Nina says, it’s true. As women, they know what’s going on. She needs to content herself with the one she has, and leave Michael alone.
Kristina asks Alexis if it’s cool if she comes home for a while. Alexis wants her to live there forever. Kristina is embarrassed, but Alexis tells her, don’t be. Only Shiloh should be embarrassed. Sonny says Shiloh will never be able to hurt her again, and Kristina hugs him.
Carly asks Jason if he’s heard anything about Kristina. He says he’s still waiting, and Jax asks, what’sgoing on? Carly says, Kristina got herself involved in a cult. It’s a long story, but Sonny and Alexis are trying to snap her out of it. They’re praying it works. Jason says if that wasn’t the case, the whole family would be there for Josslyn. Carly thanks Jax again for coming. If the family can’t be there for Josslyn, it’s probably for the best. Josslyn needs to be with a parent, not her crazy extended family. Jason gets a text – All good with Kristina. You’re clear to get Sam. Jason tells them, everything is good. He just came by to see if they needed anything. He leaves, and Jax says he’s sorry about Kristina. Carly says, it’s all right now. Jax says Sonny and Alexis are looking after their daughter. Now they need to look after theirs.
Anna tells Finn, if it was up to Robert, he’d have her tell Peter immediately. He hates Peter. He can’t forgive what Peter did, and the fact that he’s Faison’s son. It’s her biggest challenge. He’s hard headed and stubborn, and she can’t do that to him. She doesn’t want to. Finn says, then don’t. The reality is that she doesn’t know if any of this is true.
Finn asks, does she know what happened? In her heart she does, but can she show him facts? She can’t because there are none. She asks if he doesn’t believe what she’s saying. He says that’s not what he means. He lived through it with her, but there’s no medical proof that Peter was the memory transfer. And at the end of the day, that’s the story she can tell herself. There’s no proof. She smiles, and thanks him.
Maxie tells Peter that she’s just excited to get there, and asks where they’re staying. Left Bank? Right Bank? Not that it matters. He says maybe she’s not ready for the plane trip and knowing hearts. He doesn’t want her feel like she needs to fake it or force herself to have a good time. Maybe it’s too much too soon. It’s okay. She frowns at him.
Carly says Josslyn must be catching up on weeks of sleep. Jax says she must be exhausted. Oscar’s death is going to hit her all over again. Carly says she’s probably dreaming Oscar is still alive. Jax says Josslyn was never in denial about Oscar’s prognosis. Carly says, she understood, but like with any other life altering event, you can prepare and accept it… Jax says, until it happens. Carly says Josslyn was so calm and proactive. She helped nurse Oscar through his seizures, and never lost it. I beg to differ, but I’ll let it pass. Carly says Josslyn and Oscar had a forward momentum; they had a plan. Jax says she told him about the list. Carly says, on the last day, Josslyn had a book Oscar never read, and she got to reading it to him. She had a purpose, and now she has to figure out what life looks like without Oscar, and what it means to her. Jax says, maybe she’ll do nothing at first. Carly says, or be overreactive, like her mother. Carly wants to guide her, and help her get through it. Jax says the most important thing is for them to be present. They can take their cues from Josslyn, and if she goes too far off the rails, they’ll intervene.
Chase sees Willow, and tells her that he saw Kristina. Michael comes out of Kelly’s, and says he has great news. Chase says he does too. He found Michael’s sister.
Kristina can’t believe she’s thanking Sonny for having his henchmen kidnap her and take her to a safe house until she came to her senses, but she is. Sonny says, without incriminating himself, in his business, he has the power to intervene on his family’s behalf. He’ll never regret having that power. Alexis doesn’t think they should discuss crimes. Sonny and Kristina both say, alleged crimes. Alexis tells Neil, welcome to her world, and Neil says, what a colorful world it is.
Jason peeks into the window at DOD. He tries the door, but it’s locked.
Anna tells Finn that he’s right. He says, of course (🍷). She says, pinning all this on Peter isn’t fair. She’s the only mother he knows. She thinks that she could love him like a son, and maybe if he hangs around long enough, they could have a real relationship. Finn says, maybe Peter will realize how lucky he is to have her in his life. She says she knows who she’s lucky to have. He looks around, and says, oh, him. She thanks him, and tells him that she can’t say it enough. They hold hands.
Peter says he’ll tell the pilot to turn around, and Maxie says, sit. He does, and she says, if they turn around, and he takes her to Paris next week and not today, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. She knows she’s nervous; her rambling proves it. He says, what rambling? and she says, embarking with him on whatever this might be, means Nathan and the life they shared together is over. She’s learned nothing good happens if you stay paralyzed. You have to be willing to take a leap. She’s ready. That’s why she’s there. She knows this is right, and knows how they feel about each other. She doesn’t want the plane to turn around. He kneels in front of her, and kisses her. She thanks him for taking her to Paris, and he thanks her for taking a leap.
Willow is relieved Kristina is out of the DOD situation, and Michael says, thanks to her. Chase says he didn’t want to get Michael’s family in trouble. Shiloh is bad news, and if he got his hooks back into her, it could have ended worse; not just for her, but Willow. He wasn’t trying to be a jerk. He’s happy it worked out. Michael says they had different methods, but wanted the same thing. He’s grateful for the both of them. He leaves, and Chase says, what a day. What scared him most was that if Sonny and his family were busted for kidnapping, she would be there. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her. She thanks him for caring, and looking out for her, but she would gladly have taken that risk if it meant getting Kristina away from Shiloh. Chase says, it must be nice, and she says, it feels good. Like she’s finally back in charge of her own life. She’s happy she did it. He’s happier it’s behind them. She says, her too, and they kiss.
Carly says, grief is a journey. It’s like walking through the woods in the dark. You know there’s another side, but you have to go through it. Jax says Josslyn can do it, and if not, they’ll be there for her. Carly asks if he wants her to book a room at the MetroCourt, friends and family discount. He says it’s already booked, and she says, of course (🍷). She asks how long he’s staying in Port Charles, but he’s not sure. He’s working out the details. She asks if he’s staying a while, and he says, that’s the plan.
Sonny asks if they’re ready to go. Alexis says she’ll be right behind them. She thanks Neil, and says she doesn’t know what… She knows they couldn’t have gotten through it without him. He’s glad Kristina is safe, and she says that makes two of them. He tells her, this is just the beginning. The work just started. She says, whatever it takes, and he says, he has no doubt.
Shiloh says, ready? We hear the buzz of the tattoo tool. Sam smiles, and says, yeah; she’s ready. He dips another tool into the ink.
Jason kicks in the door.
Tomorrow, Carly asks if Sonny and Jax are getting along, Valerie tells Brad that DOD is bad news, Kim wants to talk to someone about her son, and Jason takes out his gun.
The Haves and The Have Nots
When we last left, my heart had been ripped from my chest as Derrick showed Hanna his lion tattoo. The tattoo of the man who raped her. The man who is Candace’s father. She backed away, as he sobbed, reminding us all of how unfair life is.
He says he was nineteen. He didn’t even remember her. He knows that’s bad to say, but he didn’t. He was so high; he didn’t even remember. He went to jail that night for robbing a liquor store. He prayed to find the woman he did that too, but he didn’t know it was her. He asks her to please forgive him. He’s so sorry. She tells him not to come near her. He keeps asking her to forgive him, and she tells him, go – now. Benny comes in and asks, what’s going on? Hanna says, nothing, but Benny says, it doesn’t look like nothing. Hanna says Derrick was just leaving, and Benny says he’ll watch him leave.
When Derrick is gone, Benny asks, what happened? She was so happy a while ago. She tells him to drop it. They’re going to see if get a notary to come there and sign the papers in the morning. He asks what about the interest? but she says they’re not going to do that.
Justin stands in front of Jeffrey with a broken bottle to his own neck. Jeffrey tells Justin, stop it; don’t doit. Justin asks why Jeffrey is making this so hard. He gave up everything. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, but he’s not doing anything. He asks Justin to put the broken bottle down. He does, and hugs Jeffrey. He doesn’t know why no one loves him. Does Jeffrey love him? Jeffrey says he does, and Justin tells him, prove it. Stay with him tonight. Jeffery suggests starting with dinner. Justin says he can cook. Jeffrey thinks Justin should talk to someone, and wants them to go together. Justin asks, like couples therapy? Jeffrey says, kind of. He thinks Justin should go first; he’s a little obsessed. Justin says Jeffrey made him that way, and they’ll talk about it later. Jeffrey agrees.
Jeffrey picks up the broken glass. Justin goes in the kitchen, and Jeffery texts Madison the address. Justin brings out more wine. He asks who Jeffrey was texting, and Jeffrey says his dad. He didn’t want David to worry. He doesn’t know Jeffrey is there. Justin says good; David hates him. He says Jeffrey knows what David did to him. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, and Justin thanks Jeffrey for loving him.
Madison’s phone rings. It’s David. He tells David he’ll be right there, and David tells him hurry. He asks if Madison knows where Jeffrey is, but Madison says he doesn’t. Madison asks another nurse, if she had a friend in trouble, and the friend’s father could help him, would she let the father know? She asks if he’s an adult. Madison says, yeah. She says he should tell Jeffrey’s father. He asks how she knows it’s Jeffrey, and she tells him that he’s not good at this. Madison says he did it in the past, and Jeffrey got mad. She says, he’s grown. Madison can’t make him do what he doesn’t want to, and neither can his father. Madison has to go change David’s bandages. She tells him if he thinks Jeffrey is in danger, he should say something. She asks, is it life or death? He says, could be, and she says, then do something.
Jim tells Kathryn that he can’t get Veronica on the phone. They’re going to jail. Kathryn says he’s been there before, and he says she’s not taking him seriously. She says she’s taking him with a shot of vodka, and goes upstairs. His phone rings. It’s Mitch. He wonders who Mitch is, and Mitch says, Malone. He was at the house with Benny. Jim says, Mama Rose’s grandson. Mitch says he has a problem. Jim says he has a lot of problems; be more specific. Mitch says his son. His uncle knows it was him. Jim acts ignorant, and Mitch asks if he wants to play games. Wyatt did what he did to Mitch’s uncle, and they have a hit on him. Jim asks if Rose put the hit on Wyatt, and Mitch says, no; they’ve tried to keep it from her. There were a couple of guys in jail trying to hit him. His uncle wants blood, but Mitch thinks he can get him to not do anything. He needs to speak with Jim, but in the meantime, he’s to keep his son out of sight. Mitch hangs up, and Jim says, what the hell?
Hanna takes a pill, as we all would. She calls Kathryn and says she’s not good. Kathryn says Jim won’t come near her. Hanna asks if Kathryn set her up, putting her in the brownstone, and giving her a makeover? Kathryn asks what Hanna is talking about, and Hanna says, Derrick. Did she know he was in jail? Kathryn says, yes, and Hanna asks why Kathryn didn’t tell her. Kathryn says Derrick has worked for her for years, and he’s a changed man. Hanna asks if she knows what he was in for, and Kathryn says, armed robbery. Hanna asks, is that all? Kathryn is sorry she didn’t tell Hanna, but he’s a really good man. Hanna says, he raped her. Kathryn says she’s calling the police, but Hanna says, not now; years ago. Kathryn is shocked, and asks how Hanna knows. Hanna says she saw his tattoo, and he told her he did it. Kathryn says, oh my God, and Hanna replies, that’s what she said. She says, it was a long time ago. The thing is, that makes him Candace’s father. Kathryn says, this is too much. Hanna says, she was raped and got pregnant. She’ll never forget his lion tattoo. It’s all she could see. She never wants to see him again, and tells Kathryn not to send him over. Kathryn says she won’t, and asks if Candace knows. Hanna says, she knows about the rape, but doesn’t know about him. Kathryn apologizes again, and Hanna says she didn’t know. Kathryn says she’s coming over, but Hanna says, it’s over. She tells Kathryn that a notary is coming in the morning, and to tell her husband. Kathryn says she’s not telling him a damn thing. Hanna says, tell Jim so he’ll leave her son alone, and Kathryn says, okay, and tells Hanna to call if she needs anything. This is just so sad.
Kathryn calls Derrick, and leaves a message for him to call her.
At the White House, the President (whose name I still don’t know, and apparently, neither does IMDb) toasts to new blood. First Lady Margaret says she likes Candace, and Candace thanks her. Margaret asks how they met. Landon starts talking, but the President says, no spin. He wants to hear it from Canace. Candace says they met at the hotel. She was studying in the lobby while she was waiting for her room. She walked over, and said hello, not knowing he was running for President. He had his hat pulled low, and said, hi… Charles finishes, I don’t need another drink. Candace says he thought she was a waitress. Then a guy tried to hit on her, and he came to her rescue. They started talking, have been together ever since. They President says, it’s getting late. They should wrap it up. He thanks them for coming, and tells Candace that she’s lovely. On his way past Candace’s chair, he whispers that she’s a hot piece of Black ass. Candace asks if there’s a restroom, and Margaret shows her the way.
David asks why Madison is so late. Madison says he had to take a cab. He’s having car issues. David is on edge, and Madison asks if he’s in pain. David says, always, but Madison sees he’d been drinking, and can’t give him something. David asks if he knows where Jeffrey is, but he says he doesn’t. David asks Madison to call Jeffrey now. He gets voicemail, and David says call from his phone.
Justin brings the food out. Jeffrey’s phone rings, but Justin tells him not to answer. Jeffrey says he needs to make sure his dad is okay. Justin gets pushy, and asks for the phone. He grabs it, and says, look; it stopped ringing. It’s okay. Can they please have a nice dinner? He’s been through a lot, and would like it to be just them. if it’s important, he’ll call back. Justin tells Jeffrey, dig in.
Madison tells David that Jeffrey still isn’t answering. David asks if he’s with that boy, but Madison says he doesn’t know. The last time he told David what Jeffrey was up to, Jeffrey got upset. He’s not getting in the middle of this. David says, so Jeffrey is with that boy. He’s dangerous. Madison says he knows, and David asks, how? Madison says Justin destroyed his car. He threatens and manipulates Jeffrey. David asks if Jeffrey is at Justin’s apartment. Madison tells David that Jeffrey said he was going there, and texted the address. He begs David not to tell Jeffrey. David tells him hurry with the bandages.
Charles tells the President that it was a great dinner. The President looks at him weird, and he says, sir? The President says, now that everyone is gone, he has something to tell Charles. They don’t like him, or Candace. They think he’s an arrogant a-hole who won be default. Even before he won, the party was planning his demise. He tells Charles, enjoy his four years. Margaret comes back, and says Candace is a gutter trash girl– God bless America. They leave, and Charles looks stunned. Landon comes in.
Some women walk past the restroom, and one says, he’s going to screw this country up. Another says, but at least he has a hot tart to screw. After they’re gone, Candace comes out of the bathroom. Landon asks if Charles is okay. Charles says, yeah, and suggests they get the hell out. Landon says it’s his new home, but Charles says, it’s not the place. The people left a foul taste in his mouth. Candace joins them, and he says, let’s get out of here.
Veronica finds RK in her living room, and tells him to get the hell out of her house. He says, fine, and starts to leave. He says he’s almost to the door, and she tells him, get to it. He says he’s not coming back, and she says, wait. He says he knew she didn’t want him to leave. She asks if he has her jewelry. He says that’s what he wanted to talk to her about. She says, if he doesn’t, guess what’s going to happen? He’s going to jail. He says he tried to get it back; he sort of sold it. She says, that’s his ass, and he says they’re better than this. She suggests he enjoy his last few moments of freedom. He says maybe he can work it off. He knows her fantasies and what she wants. He thinks it’s a good trade. She calls him a child. She says she’s a grown-ass woman, and he’s terrible in bed. He tells her, some people need to be taught. She says she asked him one thing, to get her son’s attention, and he couldn’t do that. He says that’s not him, and she says that’s not her son either. He knows she wants him all to herself. She asks if he wants breakfast, but remembering the grits, he says, no; he’s good. She says she told him to get her jewelry, but he says, they don’t got it. Veronica makes a call, and says she’d like to report a burglary. He says he can make her feel good. She says her husband’s coming back, and RK says they can give him a show. She tells the police, never mind, and says so she wants to be taught. She laughs.
The Attorney General asks the President if the guests have left. The President gets him a drink, and he asks if the President called her a hot piece of Black ass. The President says he should have seen the look on her face. The AG says he would have paid to see it, and the President says he should have come. The AG says, no. He wants to blindside the bitch who robbed him. The President can’t believe this is it. They had a good eight years. The AG says, not all of them, and the President says, every President has his thing. The AG asks how he thinks the new administration will do, and the President says Charles is an arrogant snot-nosed kid. The party is ready to take him down, but he’s been pretty clean up until this. The sad thing is, he thinks Charles likes her. Why the hell else would he bring a whore into the dining room? The AG says they’ve all done it, but the President says, not before taking office. The AG says he can’t overlook what she did to him. The President says she has no idea who she pissed off. The AG says, no, she doesn’t, and she’ll regret it. He’s going to devastate that bitch whore, and take down the President Elect at the same time. They drink to the hell coming Charles’s way.
In the limo, Candace’s phone rings. She tells Charles, it’s her brother; she’ll call him later. Charles asks if she’s okay, and she asks if she embarrassed him when she was at the table. She heard them talking about her. Charles tells her, before they left, the President said he can’t stand Charles, and wants him to fail. She says, they seemed nice, but he says, they’re playing a game. Don’t fall into it. Rise above it. She says, when they go low, she goes lower, and they laugh. He says he needs her to keep him sane. She says she’ll keep him sane, all right, and he bets she will. She says she couldn’t leave him with those fools. He says she makes him so happy, and she tells him that he’d better remember that when she has to choke one of those ho’s. They kiss, and she asks if he’s done it in a Presidential motorcade. She doesn’t think he would, but he says there’s a lot she needs to learn about him. He tells the driver, the hotel.
Jeffrey tells Justin, the alfredo sauce is good. There’s an insistent knock at the door, and David tells Jeffrey to open it. Justin asks how he knew, but Jeffrey doesn’t know. Justin tells him, hide in the bathroom. To my surprise, he does. David continues banging, and I’m thinking, unless Justin clears the dishes, David will know someone is there. Justin opens the door, and David asks where his son is. Justin says, he’s not there, and David pushes past him. Justin says, coming in? and David says, damn right.
Justin says he’s been waiting for this moment, and puts a gun to David’s head. David asks what the hell he’s doing, and Justin says, breaking and entering. He’s got David now.
Next time, Wyatt hunts his family with a rifle, and Mitch tells Benny that his uncle will break Benny’s legs, and still want the money.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
I heard LVP isn’t even in this episode. Why bother? Oh wait, I can make fun of Teddi. And Dorit. And…
Teddi tells Kyle, no glam squad. Kyle says, if a bear sees you, you have to be cute.
Harry wonders why LisaR is bringing ten pairs of shoes for one night. She says she needs a hair dryer, and he asks if there’s going to be electricity on the trail. She says the most important thing, and adds a bottle of wine. He tells her that she has a bag for three weeks. She says she’s totally prepared, just in case.
Teddi says being outdoors in LA means wearing full-face makeup and not being outdoorsy at all. LisaR says she’s nervous, but it’s good. In her interview, Kyle says she likes to be prepared. She has a machete, tick spray, and an epi-pen.
The women meet at Teddi’s. Erika is the first to arrive, followed by Kyle, who tells them that she got a text from PK. He said he was just joking around. She wishes Dorit had handled it better, instead of making excuses. She told him that she lets go of things easily, it’s done, and thanked him for the text. She doesn’t know if there will be residual feelings from Dorit.
In her interview, Erika says she’s been camping her whole life; she’s a tomboy. In Dorit’s interview, she’s hoping to enjoy the great outdoors, and not have any tension with Kyle on the trip. They get into the RV where there’s a spread waiting. Camille is the last to get there. In her interview, Denise says she’s heard Camille talk about the other women, and doesn’t think she’ll shut up during the trip. She wonders if it’s gong to be another trip where everything goes sideways, or will they have a good time?
Erika says she wanted to be a truckdriver or a Playboy bunny when she was young. The women are already freaking out about various aspects of being outside, and in her interview, Erika says, these chicks are having a meltdown, and they haven’t even left LA. They discuss sleeping arrangements, and stop at a grocery store for dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast. Teddi says all they need are hot dogs, hamburgers, and alcohol. LisaR suggests donuts, and Dorit says everyone is grabbing things like it’s Armageddon. In LisaR’s interview, she says they need the whole camping experience of food. She puts Cheetos in the cart. Denise asks if they think they’re good for one night, and the tab comes to over $600. In Teddi’s interview, she doesn’t understand, since they won’t even use half of it.
Ventura ranch KOA. Deer! Peacocks! LisaR says it’s way better than she expected. It’s like glamping. No kidding. Those tents are more like hotel rooms. I’m not sure why they even brought an RV. In her interview, Erika wonders if there’s a dead body in LisaR’s bag. Vanderpump? Edwin’s assistant Michelle has come along, although no one explains why. LisaR unpacks. She’s going to change since she has so many choices.
Beer Pong is set up. Erika feels a little old to be playing that, and goes for a massage. Yeah, real camping. No one seems to know how to play Beer Pong, even a little bit, although Dorit scores some points. In her interview Teddi says, for a woman who has a lot of opinions on stemware, Dorit knows her way around a Solo cup.
Teddi asks if Kyle regrets going to see LVP. Dorit doesn’t know why LVP is angry with her. Teddi says Dorit was the one LVP was originally angry at. It was her punishment. Erika comes back in a golf cart, saying she really needed that. Denise asks how her face looks so good. LisaR says she can’t afford to squish her face, even for a massage. Don’t they have an opening for your face in the table? Dorit says as far as LVP goes, LVP drew a line in the sand. She couldn’t have made it clearer. Erika says, if you want to be an a-hole be an a-hole. She cares about the women who showed up. She never bought it, and never will. That’s how she feels. IN her interview, she says it’s like the queen who shows you the apple. Wantsome? Kyle misses her, but Teddi says it was her choice. Dorit says she gave them a fait accompli. She made it clear. Erika says her life will be fine without that bitch. Sorry, but not really.
They go hiking, and Kyle says she has a phobia about ticks. In Kyle’s interview, she says she likes being in the outdoors, but her husband always tries scaring her, saying there will be bugs. She just doesn’t like spiders, snakes, or any kind of bug. She clicks some sticks together, saying it calls the deer, which is news to me. Climbing instructor Forrest meets them. They harness up and climb a fake wall in the middle of a park that probably has real walls to climb. Teddi, Dorit, and Erika go first. In Erika’s interview, she says Dorit looks like Spiderman, and she’s impressed. In Teddi’s interview, she says Dorit kicked her butt rock climbing. Camille tells them the harness is like a strap-on. In her interview, she tells us that she and her ex did kinky sexy play. It’s what we do for the people we love. I don’t. Kyle, Camille, and LisaR go next. Kyle doesn’t like heights, and wonders why she’s climbing a fake rock. Peer pressure is ridiculous. When she thinks how high up she is, she gets scared. In her interview, she says her entire body goes numb. We flash back to her hanging back from looking at a view from a tower and being in a sky car. Kyle has enough, and goes back down.
Dinner is prepared. LisaR gets a massage. Denise says she used to be a vegetarian up until a few months ago. In her interview, she says up until she met Aaron, she was a vegetarian. Lola was devested when she found out Denise ate meat, like she’d been doing drugs. Dorit tells them, plastic on the grill isn’t a good idea. Wow. Even I know that. In Dorit’s interview, she says, these girls don’t belong anywhere near a fire. They’re going to kill somebody, if not themselves. They make a mess of a hamburger that totally falls apart. Teddi comes back, tells them they’re fired, and finishes the grilling. LisaR returns, and can’t believe they’re already eating.
Kyle asks Camille how she’s feeling about the wedding, and she says she can’t wait. Denise and Erika can’t go, and she says LVP didn’t come to her bridal shower, so she doubts LVP is coming to the wedding. Teddi says she’s reached out and done what she can. If she really cares, don’t text. Call if she really wants LVP there. In Camille’s interview, she says Teddi is inserting herself into a conversation where she shouldn’t necessarily be involved. Teddi says, it’s Camille’s big day. and the people there should be there for her. In her interview, Camille finds Teddi being a know-it-all irritating. I think Teddi’s problem might be that she thinks she’s still at work when she’s with her friends. I find her irritating too, and if she tried to accountability coach me when I didn’t ask for advice, I’d be tempted to smack her.
Teddi builds a fire (sounds like a children’s book). Kyle calls her Grizzly Adams. Denise comes back from her massage, and they talk about happy endings. Denise says Aaron never had one, so they went on a hunt. Everyone is shocked, and Teddi says Denise has a fetish. What? I guess she even knows it all about things she doesn’t know. Denise says she doesn’t. Aaron was the only dude she knew who never had one. He was mortified. In Kyle’s interview, she says if anyone went near her husband like that, they’d lose an arm, and he’d lose an important appendage. In Dorit’s interview, she says, it will never happen,PK. In Teddi’s interview, she says, her husband’s happy ending would have a happy removal shortly afterward. Erika says she never heard Tom say he had one, but she knows he was a young man once. Because she’s an unfiltered moron, LisaR asks if Denise watched, and Denise says, no! nearly spitting out her drink. Kyle asks if Denise has had one. Denise says she has, but didn’t plan for it. It just happened. She says she’s feeling judged. In her interview, LisaR says, if that’s what your freak flag wants to do, fly it.Just don’t get arrested. Erika asks why everyone is acting like nuns. In Denise’s interview, she says Aaron might be upset that she revealed this information. LisaR asks, who else has secrets? Because this is just the venue you’d want to reveal them in. Camille says she was in a relationship for three years in NYC, and they had incredible sexual encounters. She then explains how to massage a prostate, and we’ll leave it at that. Dorit asks who wants a drink. At this point, me.
Camille says it seems better with Kyle and Dorit. Dorit says PK sent her a text, and she doesn’t think what he said was malicious. Once again inserting herself, Teddi says, not malicious, but deliberate. Dorit comes back with drinks, and Kyle says they were talking about PK and the other night. He sent her a text. Dorit says, in the beginning she said she appreciated how Kyle felt. She thought they were good. Kyle tells her, men say stupid sh*t sometimes. Well, that about sums it up. Is it time to go home? Teddi says, even if it’s not malicious, he’s covering his own ass. The backtracking didn’t go well. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi has an answer for everything. That’s what I mean. I’m not defending her at all – she’s annoying as hell – but it’s what she does for a living and can’t turn it off. Teddi thinks he was acting out because of how he felt about the whole situation. Dorit doesn’t think it helps to be unfair afterward. Teddi says it wasn’t about Kyle, but Dorit doesn’t think so. Camille agrees. She says Teddi is knowledgeable for her age, but inserts herself where she doesn’t belong. Teddi hates people who talk down to her. Camille says sometimes she inserts herself in conversations that have nothing to do with her. Like after PK made the remark to Kyle. We flash back to her doing that. Camille says, it upset Dorit. Teddi tells her, stick to the storyline. Does she mean stay in her lane? Stay on topic? What? It sounds like it doesn’t apply. Teddi says she doesn’t like to be talked down to. The way she says Teddi is young, is passive/aggressive. Camille tells Teddi that she said Teddi pushed herself into a conversation between two of them. She sat there with LisaR, acting like she knew everything. Camille thought it was inappropriate, and she’s a bit of a know-it-all. Teddi says she noticed Camille likes to talk out of the side of her mouth, but backs down when she’s face to face. I dunno. I think Camille thinks out loud while she’s making up her mind. Teddi says she just expressed an opinion. Camille says Teddi thought there was a conspiracy going on. We flash back to Teddi thinking practically the entire season was manufactured by LVP. In Camille’s interview, she says, if you know that much, you don’t have to tell everyone how much you know. Wow. She’s right. LisaR says, this was all created by someone else, and Camille says, it’s like a toxic wave. Kyle can’t lie about what happened, but she still cares about LVP. She chose not to be there. Dorit says she had a friend who said there’s no friendship, and doesn’t love her. We flash back to how things ended with LVP. Then she had Kyle saying she had never heard LVP talk about Dorit. Kyle says she didn’t mean it that way. Denise thinks they should go onward and upward. Teddi says she’s not even drunk, and Erika says she’s drunk for her age. Ha-ha! Okay, that was funny. LisaR says, the sad part is, she’s the oldest in the group right now.
It’s morning, and Teddi goes for a run. Kyle says she’s a nut. LisaR says she had a dream that Kyle got Portia a squirrel. We see clips of Kyle planting fake spiders in the other so-called tents, and slipping a stuffed rat into LisaR’s tent. In her interview, Kyle says she never went to summer camp. Camille joins them, and it’s dead silent while they drink coffee. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s not going down that rabbit hole. Erika puts whipped cream on a pumpkin pie, and forks the pie, not bothering to slice it. In her interview, she says, it’s the breakfast of champions. She ruins this by then eating Cheez-Wiz on crackers. Blech. It’s time to go, and I honestly don’t get it all this for one night. Seriously.
Back on the road, Kyle says she wants to do research on happy ending places. Erika says they’re all invited to her show on Sunday. She knows Camille is getting married, and Denise is filming, but the rest of them can bring their husbands if they want.
In her interview, Kyle thinks it helps relationships to get to a deeper place when they go on trips. Laughing, arguing, sharing things in a different place. You’re not getting that at a cocktail party. The women talk about social media, and Kyle says Instagram has changed since the Kardashians. And the ideal body type is unreal. LisaR says, it’s not an easy time to grow up. When they were growing up, they had a mirror to deal with. Now, there’s social media pressure to be perfect. In LisaR’s interview, she says her girls had a rough time. More than anything, she’s tried to teach them how to love themselves, no matter how they look. Kyle wonders if there’s more pressure in LA and Hollywood, but the others don’t know if that’s true anymore. Erika says she looks at herself like art. A project where she creates what she wants.
They sing Kumbaya, and Denise laughs.
Next time, LVP gets her new kitchen, Camille asks LVP to come to her wedding, and a disaster happens at Erika’s show.
🐲 In Case You Live Under a Rock…
Or just got online for the first time in your life today.
On Game of Thrones, Tormund informed Jon that only a madman or a king rides a dragon. The Hound said Sansa had changed, and also said, I told you so, but with more words. Gendry asked Arya to marry him and be the Lady of wherever he’s from, but she said she was never a lady and never would be. He didn’t give her the option of being a dude, so… Jaime and Brienne had sex. I guess we can all die happy now. Dany was worried about having everything taken from her. She told Jon to never tell another soul who he really is. Even though he didn’t give a flying, she said it would take on a life of its own, no matter how many times he bent the knee. She told him the truth would destroy them, and even though she’d never begged for anything, she was begging for this. Since they had her help in the dead battle, Dany wanted Winterfell to reciprocate by going against Cersei. Bron proposed a plan to Tyrion and Jon, Sam and Jon promised they were BFFs for life, and everyone set sail for King’s Landing. Missandei and Grey Worm held hands on the boat. When Tyrion told him eight people knew about Jon’s lineage, Varys said it wasn’t a secret anymore, but an affirmation. No surprise, Cersei was a step ahead, and (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy was waiting with his own boats. I’ve about had it with CGI dragon abuse though, since we lost Dracarys. Needless to say, Dany was both pissed and vindictive, and Missandei was also lost in the battle. Cersei said their message was well received, and the head Sparrow, or whatever he is, said the people were glad for her protection. Cersei told the Greyjoy dude, well done, and talked about the child they were having. Cersei wasn’t worried about Dany coming for her, and was holding Missandei prisoner. This highly pissed off Grey Worm, who’d probably grieved for her already. Varys advised Dany against revenge. He begged her not to destroy the city she came to save, and become what she’s struggled to defeat. She said her destiny was to save the world from tyrants, and she’d do it if she had to kill a million innocent people first. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was the gist. Fight for peace. Varys asked Tyrion who would make the best ruler, and Tyrion said Jon didn’t want it. Varys asked how he knew it wasn’t someone who didn’t want it, and said Jon has what it takes. Tyrion believed his queen would make the right choice. Tyrion said most people claimed they didn’t care who sat on the throne, but Varys said if the wrong person did, it could cost those people their lives. He was loyal to the people, as I’d always thought. He said, each of them had a choice to make, and prayed they chose wisely. Brienne said Jaime was better than his sister. He’s a good man, but he couldn’t save her. He said he pushed a kid out a window and strangled his cousin with his bare hands. He wasn’t exactly a good guy. He went off to help Cersei, negating his pending good guy status, but I’m wondering if he might not sabotage her instead. Hey, I can dream. When Dany went to Kings Landing, I fully expected them to toss Missandei’s head out the door or throw her from a tower, but old guy Queen’s Hand came out to meet Tyrion. It kind of reminded me of the negotiations on Million Dollar Listing. Tyrion was like, work with me, help me here, and old guy was like, I’m just representing. Tyron was like, forget this, and went past him to his superior. He said he knew she didn’t care about her people, and they hate her, so what’s the difference? She always loved her children though, more than anything. Her reign was over, but that didn’t mean her baby had to die. I said to myself, you know she’s never giving in, and she confirmed that by saying now was the time for Missandei’s last words. Missandei looked at Grey Worm, and Cersei, who can’t do her own dirty work, had the Mountain chop Missandel’s head off, blending my predictions as her body fell from the rampart. This pissed Dany off even more, but she didn’t put a curse on Cersei in Dothraki as we all would have. She just stomped away. Then The Omen singers sang over the end credits.
In discussing why this season of GoT might suck, two reasons given were, Jon got rid of Ghost and Jaime left Brienne for Cercei. One, maybe Jon thought Ghost would be safer staying behind and we’ve already lost enough animals, plus a giant, and two, how do we know? We know what Jaime said, but how do we know?
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
😵 Here’s the story. I’ve had a sick dog that I have to give meds to twice a day, and I might as well be giving them to a cat. The struggle is real. Plus a few other monkey wrenches thrown in, so I’m crunched for time. I’m hoping it doesn’t reflect (too badly) in the editing, and will give a mini-cap on Game of Thronestomorrow. Some viewers will be dying happy. Others, not so much. So take this post in the spirit it’s given – the show must go on, even if it’s half-assed.
General Hospital
On the phone outside Kelly’s, Laura tells Doc it appears she has a secret admirer. A beautiful bouquet of tulips came, but the card wasn’t signed. Does he have any idea who it was? She thinks she’s talking to him. He says, guilty, and she says, thoughtful. He wants her to know he loves her, even if they’re not together right now. Doc is at the MetroCourt, and Ava arrives. He says he needs to go. It looks like it’s showtime. She tells him that she loves him, and break a leg. Robert sees Laura, and they hug.
Lucy tells Scotty that she needs help with the program. Maxie thought it was too glitzy. He suggests maybe it’s not glitzy enough. She thinks Maxie’s designer sense might be causing her criticize. Scotty says maybe she’s too picky, but Lucy says you can never be too picky about the Nurses’ Ball. It’s supposed to inspire confidence and romance. She’s suddenly distracted, and Scotty senses some sort of disturbance in the force. Lucy says, you could say that. She sees Doc pull out Ava’s chair for her.
Anna goes to see Jordan at the hospital. Curtis sits at her bedside. Anna is ready to read Jordan the riot act. She criticized Anna about going rogue. When was she planning on telling Anna that she was in the hospital? Did it slip her mind? Jordan apologizes for the secrecy. She’ll make it up to Anna. Anna says, when? and Curtis says, as soon as the antibiotics start working. Jordan thanks her for coming, and Anna tells her not to go rogue again. Curtis sighs, and Jordan asks, what is it? He says they need to talk. He understands why she kept her situation from Anna, but why keep it from him?
Anna sees Finn at the reception area, and asks how Jordan is doing. She says, good. Jordan has put things in perspective for her. Finn asks, how so? and she says she can’t keep dwelling on the past. She needs to focus on the life she has now.
Maxie and Lulu meet to get manicures. Maxie says she’s been going crazy without Lulu. Lulu says she hasn’t been gone that long, and Maxie says it was for her. She would never take off for Paris. Lulu says it’s different for Maxie. She and Peter are just getting started. Maxie says, about that…
Michael tells Kristina that he brought someone for her to talk to. Kristina remembers Willow, and asks why she’s there. Michael starts to say, she knows something… but Willow says she can speak for herself. That’s why she’s there. She says Shiloh preaches honesty above all else, but she’s there to tell Kristina the truth about Shiloh and what he does to young women like them. She was member for over five years. Kristina asks if she quit, and Willow says she escaped, just barely. She hopes Kristina can too – before it’s too late.
Willow says it’s still painful to talk about her time with DOD. She wants to help Kristina make an informed choice about her future. Neil thinks that’s an excellent idea, provided Kristina is willing to listen. Kristina says she’s heard more than her share of anti DOD propaganda. Michael asks if she trusts him. She says she does, and he asks her to believe that Willow doesn’t have an agenda. She wants to tell Kristina what happened, and let her make up her own mind. That’s all. Can she do that? Kristina says, why not?
Laura ask how Robert has been. He says he’s still above ground, and she ask how Holly is. He says they’re not together at the moment, and Laura says she’s sorry. Robert says he’s sorry it didn’t work out between her and Doc, but he doesn’t blame her for calling it quits. Laura says, it’s a complicatedsituation. Robert says she seems to have moved on to a new suiter. He caught the end of her conversation, saying she can’t wait to see someone again. She laughs and says, it was just Lulu. He says he’s going to be in Port Charles for a while, and asks, how about going to the Nurses’ Ball together?
Lucy asks if Scotty knows about whatever’s going on between Doc and Ava. He says, not a clue, and she says she’ll get him one. He tells her, hold on, but she’s already on her way. Doc asks if Ava feels the eyes on them, and Ava says, any attention is good if it gets Ryan out of hiding. He sees Lucy approach, and says, maybe not all. Lucy says, funny running into them there, and Ava says, hilarious. Lucy asks if they came in together or ran into each other in the elevator. Ava says they arranged to meet there; like Lucy and Scotty. Lucy says she and Scotty are working on the Nurses’ Ball. They were just discussing Ava’s amazing performance last year, and here she is. Lucy has tickets available, and Ava says she’ll take care of that later. She says, it’s funny though, how close Lucy and Scotty have become. Scotty joins them, and says, like liver and onions. Lucy tells him to speak for himself, and Ava says you can’t manufacture that chemistry. Maybe Lucy and Scotty should go the Nurses’ Ball together. She and Doc are.
Neil suggests Willow start at the beginning. How did she get involved with DOD? Willow says, her mother was always a seeker, looking for something spiritual, some cause or movement to answer her questions and give her a purpose. They spent Willow’s childhood moving from place to place. Her mother tried it all. Before Willow turned eighteen, she met Shiloh, and their lies were never the same.
Anna tells Finn that she has all the proof she needs that Robin is her daughter. She wants to focus on their future now. Finn flashes back to his proposal to the skeleton, and says he couldn’t agree more.
Jordan tells Curtis that she didn’t know she was sick before he left, but he says she knew more than she was letting on. She says she didn’t want to worry him, but he says she’s his wife. If he can’t worry about her, who can? She has to let him in, no matter how bad the situation gets. Finn walks in, and says he has the lab test results. Curtis takes Jordan’s hand, and she says, let’s hear it.
Laura says, go to the Nurses’ Ball with Robert? He asks if it’s really so crazy, and she says she’s just surprised, since she’s never seen him there. He says he’s usually not in Port Charles. She’s incredibly flattered, and he says, she’s not ready move on, is she? She says, something like that, and he tells her, the offer stays open. A lot can happen in week or three.
Ava tells Lucy that when Doc asked, she couldn’t resist. Lucy says, how wonderful. She hadn’t realized they’d grown so close. Ava says Doc has been a great source of comfort, and Doc says it was only natural. They understand each other’s feelings; what they’re going through. Survivor trauma from Ryan Chamberlain. Ava asks for two tickets, and hopes she gets a great table. Lucy says she will, and since Ava will be performing again, she’s thinking Ava should have Doc come up on stage with her. Ava thinks that’s a great idea, and asks Doc if he’d be interested in that. He says, anything for her, and Scotty says, Ava? A word? Ava says she needs a refill anyway, and tells Doc, try not to miss her.
Scotty orders two dirty rotten martinis. Ava asks what he wants to talk about. He says first they’ll enjoy their martinis, then she’s going to tell him what she’s up to with Doc.
Willow tells Kristina that she and her mother lived in Berk Lake, where Shiloh had his epiphany, then came up with the philosophy for DOD. Neil asks how her mother heard about DOD, and Willow says she heard rumors about it. Some of her friends left to see what was happening, and she wanted to see for herself. They attended a seminar, and Shiloh saw potential in her mother. She had outreach experience, and knows how to network. It wasn’t long before her mother was Shiloh’s right hand, spreading his teachings in Berk Lake. She seemed to have finally found a home. They took pride in the outreach and service. They felt alive, being out there, volunteering, trying to make a difference. Her mother was one of the first to join the Trust. After about a year. Shiloh wanted her.
Lulu asks Maxie, what happened last night? Maxie says she and Peter rescheduled, like they’ve been doing for weeks now. Fate is playing tricks. The closer they get, she feels like Peter is pulling away. On second thought, she thinks maybe they shouldn’t date in general.
Anna sees Peter, and asks how his date went. He says it hasn’t gone at all. They’ve been stalling, making creative excuses as to the reason why – at least he has. Anna wonders why. They established they like each other. He says he’s never invested significantly in a relationship emotionally. He’s never been part of a couple. The closer they get, the more he fears hurting her. Anna asks why he thinks that, and he says because of who he is. Who he always will be. Faison’s son.
Finn says the antibiotics were unsuccessful. Jordan says they knew it was a possibility. Finn says her remaining kidney is failing, and she needs a transplant as soon as possible. She’s at the top of the donor list now, so it’s a waiting game.
Willow says Shiloh told her that she was being considered for the Trust, honoring her for all her hard work, commitment, and the progress she’d made. It sounded like the next step. It’s Shiloh’s M.O. He gets you at your most vulnerable, when you’re figuring out who you are, and what you want to grasp. The choices you’re living with have consequences, and Shiloh takes away the burden of choice, and makes you his puppet. You’re sure he’s giving you the answer. Her mother said it was an honor to join the Trust, and that’s how it seemed. A chance to part of Shiloh’s inner circle. Shiloh had such a hold on her, she didn’t bat an eye when he asked for her Pledge. Neil ask what kind of pledge? Willow says, a secret; something personal, and so shameful he could hold it over your head if you try to leave. He tells you it’s a symbol, so the group can trust you as you trust them. So she made recording of her Pledge, and Shiloh wrote it up. She signed it, then it was time for initiation. Kristina asks, what happened? and Willow says, he put his mark on her. She shows Kristina the tattoo. Michael looks pissed, and Alexis turns away. I don’t know what Kristina is thinking, hopefully, she is thinking.
Peter tells Anna that his father raised him to be cruel and calculating. To use people and discard them. Deny his feelings unless they served him. His father led by example, and he’s hard wired. He has his father’s DNA. Anna says he has hers too. She asks if he thinks she’d be pushing the relationship if she thought he’d hurt Maxie? Peter says she doesn’t know what he’s capable of. She says, everyone iscapable of cruelty. That’s just human. He doesn’t want Maxie to see that side of him. Anna says he’s not giving Maxie enough credit. She’s a strong young woman who knows what she wants. She might run, but he should see what’s really inside that makes her want to stay.
Lucy says Doc is lucky he has both hands, or she’d have mistaken him for Ryan. He hopes more than a hand distinguishes them. She says she saw Ava around him after the memorial; now they’re going to the Nurses’ Ball? It’s like announcing to the entire world that they’re involved.
Ava asks if Scotty remembers the conversation they had a few days ago. He says when she summoned him, and wanted to use him as bait, posing as her boyfriend? She says, yes, and he says she had that cockamamie plan to lure Ryan out by making him jealous? She says she was traumatized. She had waking nightmares of Ryan choking her, but with Doc’s help, she’s accepted he’s dead. Scotty says, so she’s gone from vengeance to acceptance? She hates that he died before she got closure, or he could face justice for what he did to her daughter, but all the hate in the world can’t change it. Doc helped her to see that not every story gets a proper ending. He says Doc is responsible for letting his demented brother get loose. Now she’s cozying up to him? He wants to relieve his guilt, but she can’t do it for him. She asks if they’re done. He says they are, and she leaves.
Ava sees Lucy made herself comfortable. Lucy wouldn’t go that far. Ava thanks her for keeping Doc company. Doc’s phone dings, and he needs to cut this short. He asks if Ava wants to meet for dinner, and she says, of course (🍷). He says he’ll see her then, and leaves. Ava tells Lucy that she’d say it’s nice see her, but… Lucy tells Ava, sit down. She wants some questions answered.
Finn tells Jordan it’s not as simple as a blood type match. She has specific genetic markers. Curtis says there are options like a private donor. Finn says, it’s possible, but they tested a lot of people. He’s optimistic there’s a match. She’s at the top of list, and if he gets something promising, he’ll call. When he leaves, Jordan says she could use a distraction. Does he have news on tracking down a supposedly dead serial killer. He says that’s a cheerful new topic, and Laura comes in. Jordan says she was just asking about the trip to Canada. Curtis might have found a lead on Ryan.
Scotty goes to the table, and asks, what’s going on? and gets between Lucy and Ava. Ava says Lucy is lucky she believes in the cause. There’s a big fat check that can easily be canceled.
Curtis says the woman gave the thief a list of meds used to treat a severed hand. Jordan asks if there was a description, but Curtis says, not in detail. He tells them about the car with the bumper sticker that said, North Madison High School, Class of ’94. He found a MyFace page for the class. Working on her laptop, Jordan says, there are 240 graduates. Curtis says it was definitely a white woman, and Laura says they can remove any women of color. Curtis says two students have passed away, but he still can’t knock on 113 doors without the police getting involved. Laura says they can search the marital status; she’s probably living by herself. Curtis says that brings the number down to twenty-three. Laura says it’s a manageable amount.
Alexis says, Shiloh branded her as part of the ceremony? Kristina says, it’s just a tattoo. A lot of people get them as a testament to their faith. Willow says, if it was just a tattoo, that would be one thing. She can live with Shiloh’s physical scars; sometimes, she forgets it’s there, but it’s the emotional toll that hurt so much. Kristina asks what she means, and Willow says, Shiloh’s not there when you’re being tattooed. That part is for the other Trust members. At the time, it was just her mom and two other women. They gave her something to drink to relax her. She thinks they drugged her; she felt floaty, and out of it. Then they tattooed her, and welcomed her into the sisterhood. They left, and Shiloh came in and had sex with her. She cries, and says she doesn’t know if it counts as rape didn’t try stop him but even though it was supposed to be an honor, she knew it was wrong. It was disgusting to her, and still is. Kristina is so lucky she has family who came to rescue her before Shiloh used her for sex.
Kristina says, Shiloh wouldn’t do that, but Willow says, yes, he would. He did her, and other Trust members, including her mom. He didn’t force her, but she was drugged. Kristina says, Shiloh is a good man. Willow says she’s sorry. She knows how hard it is to this, but Kristina deserves to know the truth. Neil thanks her for sharing her story, and I’m a little surprised it was so short. I didn’t expect her to say anything about the baby, but she might have mentioned that she changed her name and he’s still following her. Alexis and Sonny appreciate it and are grateful. Neil give Willow his card in case she wants to talk. Michael asks if Willow is ready to go. Willow tells Kristina, take care; she’s going to get through this. Michael hugs Kristina, and goes. Alexis hugs Kristina, and Sonny says, son of a bitch.
Maxie tells Lulu that she and Peter are just delaying the inevitable. Lulu says to trust her, but Maxie says it’s not easy putting herself out there after Nathan died. What if Peter never lets her in? She says he’s texting her right now. He wants to meet at the MetroCourt, but it’s a bad time. She’s getting her nails done.
Anna tells Robert about her conversation with Peter. She thinks it’s nice that she and Robert are parting on good terms, and he asks, who says they’re parting? He’s going to stick around. He doesn’t like unfinished business any more than she does. He says she talk until she’s blue in the face, but he knows she’s not going to rest until she finds out what Alex and Cabot did to her.
Jordan has the feeling there’s something there. Curtis doesn’t want to leave her, but she says Finn said she was stable. He says, what if her kidney deteriorates, and she says, it’s the perfect window ofopportunity. He says, for what? To chase a dead end? She says all she’s got is a hunch, but she’s asking him to do this for her. He guesses he’s heading out in the morning. She says he’s the best, and he says she’s just saying that because she got her way. She says she’s saying it because it’s truth. They kiss.
Laura sees Curtis at the elevator, and asks when he’s leaving for Canada. He says, first thing in the morning. She says she’s going with him.
Sonny says they’re done here. Alexis asks if they can calmly and rationally agree not to take the law into their own hands. Neil says they need to both take a breath. No matter how upsetting, this is intended to help Kristina evaluate. She’s at a DOD crossroads in the treatment. How she wants to proceed is up to her.
Jordan looks up the city in Canada. Doc comes to her room, and says Finn texted him to meet there. Finn joins them, and says he talked to the lab. Doc is not only a match for her blood type, but for her genetic markers. He can be her kidney donor.
Lucy tells Scotty they need to change their tactic. Stop reacting and trying to make things happen. They need to do what they do best. Scotty says, no, no, and Lucy says, yes, yes. They have to keep Doc and Ava apart for their own good.
Curtis asks if Laura is sure she’s aware of the danger that could be waiting. Ryan could be behind one of twenty-three doors. She says it’s not her first rodeo. She has a score settle. He says, her, and a lot of others. She says, perfect. They agree. She’ll see him tomorrow morning when they leave for Canada, partner. He says, bright and early, partner.
Anna tells Robert that Alex will never tell her. Robert says he has a good idea, and thinks she does too. In fact he’s surprised she hasn’t brought it up. Has she accepted the possibility that she might never know if Peter is Alex’s son and not hers?
Maxie tells Peter that Lulu insisted she meet him. He says he owes her one, and she says, it’s about damn time. He asks if she’s ready, and holds his hand out. She says, so ready.
Outside Kelly’s, Willow tells Michael that she’s not ready to go home. Michael says it’s the least he can do. She did so much for Kristina. Willow hopes so. He says she was so strong. He knows it wasn’t easy to relive again. She says, it wasn’t, but Kristina needed to hear it.
Neil tells Kristina what happens next is up to her. She has the information she needs to make an informed decision about her future with DOD. He opens the door, and she asks what he’s doing. He says, the door is open for her to go back – to Shiloh or her family.
Tomorrow, Willow asks if Nina is accusing her of hitting on Michael, Peter brings Maxie somewhere on a plane, Sam gives Shiloh her Pledge, and Chase finds Kristina.
Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One
Giggy! Before we start, Lisa asks if Giggy has any issues he wants to bring up. Scheana tells Lala, chill is boring. Brittany is in a good mood, but from the look of the previews, that will be over with soon. Scheana says, let’s do this. They wait on Tom’s hair, and I’m certain James will eclipse Jax for worst human being on earth.
Andy tells us it’s the eve of the opening of the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden in Vegas. He asks if Tom feels like a man, and Tom says he always has. Andy asks if Ariana has been riding sidecar, and she says once you realize you’re not dying, it’s okay. That’s how I felt the first time I rode in a pedicab. Brittany says they have three months to go until the wedding, and Andy informs us that Lala and Rand are engage. Lala shows off her ring, which is round, sparkly, and gorgeous. He asks if they’ve set a date, and Lala says Ran wants it tomorrow, but she’s happy being a fiancé. They’re shooting for 2020. Andy asks if Katie is ready, and she says ready as she can be. Schwartz says he’s coming in fresh, but later there will be half-shots. Andy asks if Stassi’s extra chair will be for Beau or the dark passenger. She says it’s been six months since anyone has seen the dark passenger. Andy asks if Kristen is single, and she says she is. Everyone seems surprised, since no one knew.
Andy wonders why Jax bought James underwear, and Jax says he thought it would be a nice gesture. We see a clip of James posing in said underwear in front of a mirror. Andy says last season, James was closer with Jax and the group, but that ended with his rap about Jax and Faith, Andy asks if he thought it would have such huge consequences. James says he wasn’t thinking much at the time, but it was definitely wrong. Frankly, I don’t think James doesn’t think much, period. Brittany says they were there supporting him, and it was embarrassing. Lisa asks if it was preplanned, but James says, it was freestyle. He was upset about what he’d done, but doesn’t want to say anymore, because Kristen is making faces. Stassi says he’s only sorry because he got excluded. Kristen claims he said he wanted to embarrass them. We find out he’s still friends with Tom, Ariana, and Scheana, and he’s always gotten along with Schwartz. Jax asks how many mistakes is James going to make. James thinks Jax is a fine one to talk, but Jax says he’s trying to be a better person. Lisa says Jax is older; what was he doing at James’s age? Andy asks what he was doing four years ago? and we see clips of Jax being an a-hole, my favorite being him telling Tom that he’s the number one guy in the group. Tom says Jax was never excluded. Jax says he’s known them for twenty years, and Kristen says James has never been a part of their friend group. James says she’s the one who put him in it. I hate to say it, but he has a point there. He asks, what about Lala? Stassi says, Lala has made an effort; James hasn’t. Lala says James ruined their friendship. She stepped back and made a stand that he couldn’t attack Rand. She asks James to look at her, since he has difficulty looking people straight in the eye when he knows they’re right. I’m saying that last part, not Lala. She says it was one of the funnest [sic] friendships she’s ever had. She adored their friendship, but watched him burn every bridge. James says she’s the last bridge. Lala says he doesn’t care, and he admits he doesn’t. Lisa asks if he regrets losing a good friend, but he says no. Lala says it was hurtful. She put her heart and soul into the friendship. James says she gave him fake bullsh*t the last time they talked. We flash back to her telling him to come to her if he’s spiraling, and him telling her that he’ll talk to a therapist. He says it was a pity meeting, and if that was a true handout, consider it rejected. He doesn’t need her friendship. Kristen tells him not to talk to Lala like that, and he tells her, stop talking. Because we’re five. Lisa asks why he’s so angry.
Andy points out that last season, Scheana was Rob obsessed. This season, she was hanging out with her best friend, Adam. Then she was getting Bachelorette sloppy seconds, referring to her dating Robby Hayes. Stassi says they told her that he was a douche, and wonders what is it that Scheana’s friends see something different than she does. Scheana says she was just having gun, and hanging out. With the next relationship she has, hopefully, it will be her forever, but she doesn’t feel that she’s in that place. She’s just enjoying being single. Lisa feels like Scheana wanted a relationship with Adam. Even though she was trying to pretend she was coping with it and being casual, Lisa thought, inside, Scheana’s heart was breaking. She wanted something more. Andy asks what their status is, and Scheana says she and Adam aren’t dating, but… and Stassi says, they’re in the exact same spot. Moving on to Jax.
Andy says, Jax and Brittany dated for nine months, broke up, and then he popped the question. We flash back to Jax’s proposal. Brittany says the clam place was where they had their first date. Andy asks Stassi how hard it was to keep the secret. Stassi says she’s terrible at keeping secrets. Everything was wet, andnot in a good way. Andy asks if Jax and Brittany are getting a prenup, but Jax says, no. Brittany is going to be with him forever. Brittany says he’s her baby. Well, I’d say he’s a baby. Lisa says she and Ken didn’t have one, but they probably hadn’t been invented yet. Lala says she and Rand are getting one. He’s worked a long time, and no matter what happens, she wants him to know she’s not coming for him. Andy asks how Rand proposed, and she says they had dinner on the beach. There was a screen that showed a montage of their life, including her dad, and Rand got down on one knee, and asked her to be his wife. He said she had thirty seconds to answer, and she said yes. Then fireworks went off, like something out of a movie. We see photos of Lala and Rand watching the fireworks. Andy says Rand has been on Flipping Out and Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but he’s not on Vanderpump Rules. Lala says she doesn’t want him on it; it’s real and nitty gritty. Andy says everyone else is putting their relationships out there, and asks if it’s fair to the others. Lala thinks she shows quite a bit. Tom says there’s a part of her life that she keeps locked away. Scheana says everyone else gives 100%. She’s an amazing addition to the case, but it’s not fair. Lala says if they had something huge they wanted to protect, they wouldn’t want it on the show. Stassi thinks that’s rude. Her boyfriend is just as important. Lala says a lot of men don’t want to be on the show, and Stassi says she’s been there. Lala says she still contributes other things, but Lisa says it’s the most important thing in her life. Doesn’t Rand interact with the group? They all say that Rand hangs out with them, except for James. Lisa says they should show it. Ariana says it’s scary for everyone. Lala says Scheana has brought on sketchy dudes who just want camera time. Scheana says they knew her job was dependent on showing everything, but Rob (Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob) didn’t want to be on the show. Lala says Rob had a dinner party on the show. We flash back to that, and Scheana claims she forced him. Lala says she can’t do that.
Andy wants to talk about building TomTom. He asks what Lisa expected the Toms roles to be at the bar, and she says originally, she wanted them to get creative with the cocktails, but it came to be more than that. Andy asks if they felt Lisa wanted them to be there, and Tom says, no. Schwartz says they wanted to be there as much as possible. Lisa says at the end, they were needed, but there was a lot of work to get done, and they were behind schedule. Andy says it seemed like Pandora was in charge of cocktails, then Sly came in. He asks if the Toms felt neutered. Tom says they didn’t just work on the cocktails a few times; they spent months on them. Ariana says their dining room was a lab. Schwartz says some of them aren’t true to the recipe, but it’s not an ego thing. Tom says they spent eight months, and Sly was there for two days. No matter how good you are, it can’t match. Ariana says it hurt her because it hurt Tom. Lisa says she doesn’t remember any negativity about it. Ariana thought they were doing things she’d love, and Lisa says she did. Ariana asks where the frozen shot machine is. Lisa says they asked for it when the bar was being planned out, but they didn’t have it. Tom says he was there for three months, and Lisa says he should have been there when they were planning it out. Andy asks if Lisa gives them enough respect. Ariana thinks she does more off-camera. On camera, it’s like a schtick. Lisa says she plays with them, but they give her a lot to play with. Ariana thinks Lisa makes them look foolish, and Lisa says she wishes her name was on the restaurant. Tom says no matter what he does, he always gives 110%. No matter who’s getting the cocktail, they’re all made the same. Lisa says she had hundreds of people working for her, but she wanted them for their joie de vivre and relationship, not they’re business acumen. They don’t make themselves look sensible a lot of the time. Jax is curious to know if they’re getting paid. Schwartz says there’s been no compensation yet, and Andy says, as someone who’s been involved in the business, he knows it takes a while. Lisa says she’s gotten nothing yet either, but they spent $2.5 million. Her expertise is also valued. Andy asks Tom what he feels about the partnership, and he says he loves Ken and Lisa. He likes the situation, but feels his questions don’t get answered. Lisa suggests they sit down at the end of the year, and split the difference. (That would be 10/90.) She says she embraced them, and when she asked them to be partners, she put their names up there. It was supposed to be a positive experience. Tom says, it is, but if he has questions or concerns, he gets a negative reaction. Lisa asks if he wants her to give them their money back and they can keep the partnership. Tom says, it’s not about that, and Schwartz says they’ve had issues, but this is the dream. Andy asks why Schwartz didn’t check to make sure there was money in the account, and Schwartz says it was a clerical error. We flash back to his James Bond moment. Lisa says that’s why she loves them being involved.
Andy welcomes one of the few people in the group who didn’t want to strangle James. Raquel comes in wearing a dress that has gigantic ruffles on the sleeves, making her look like Icarus, and even though it’s above the knee, the sash goes all the way to the floor. Stupidest. Dress. Ever. If it belongs anywhere on Bravo, it’s possibly an Atlanta Housewives reunion. She tells Andy that she pulled out the ruffles for him. He says he heard she had an exciting job interview, and she says she may or may not be working at SUR. Lisa has to decide, and Lisa says she’ll be working there. Andy says the drama with James started on Gay Pride, and asks why Kristen decided to take James down for good. Raquel asks why she isn’t over it, and Kristen says because he’s not changing. Andy asks how well James knows Hope, and James says he was friends with Hope and Logan a long time, but that time is over. We flash back to James’s flirtation with Logan. Andy says, Hope looked Raquel in the eye – James tries to interrupt, but Andy won’t have it – and gave specific details about sleeping with James. Raquel says Hope was never at the house they live in now. Andy wonders what would be in it for Hope to put herself out there, and James snarks that she’s a Hollywood star. Kristen says it’s the same thing Raquel gets from dating James. Raquel understands how the might feel she wants the limelight, since she was a beauty queen. She starts talking about being in pageants because of her anxiety, but gets interrupted, and everyone talks at once like I hate. Raquel can see why they’d think she wants to be on the show. Ariana tells Jax, shut up. She wants to hear what Raquel is saying. Brittany tells her to tell James to shut up. Tom says Raquel is trying to tell a story. Brittany says he’s supposed to be their best friend, and it’s getting effed up. Raquel says she’s not going to define her relationship, and says it’s situations like this, where she’s more vulnerable that help her be a better person. Andy asks what would make her believe Lala. She says Lala wasn’t there, and Lala says he was messing around right in front of her in Canada, and that was while he was dating Raquel. Stassi can’t imagine being in a relationship where so many women come forward and said it to her face, and without looking into it, she believes her boyfriend. James says they just want to take him down. Stassi says some of her friends do. Ariana says when James and Raquel moved in together, they considered it a fresh start; a new beginning. Raquel wasn’t living in LA before that. If it didn’t happen after they moved in together, it’s a moot point and doesn’t count. Andy asks if Raquel believes he was faithful before she moved in? She admits she doesn’t think he was completely faithful (whatever that means – is it like a little bit pregnant?) before she moved in. Andy says it’s kind of like Brittany and Jax. Brittany says if Raquel wants to forget about it, it’s on her. Schwartz says, they’re different people. Andy says Tom is always defending James. Does he find all of James’s behavior acceptable? Tom says, hell no. Katie says he excuses as much as he can, and James deserves more than being fired from SUR.
Andy mentions that Raquel is the only one with a college degree, yet her intelligence keeps coming into question, and it’s a trigger. Raquel says she’s getting her masters in helping special needs kids. Andy asks if Stassi thinks Raquel is smart. Stassi says she doesn’t know Raquel. Raquel says she’d love to know Stassi, and wishes com to the puppy party. I find Raquel sad, because she always sounds so desperate. You’d think, even if she’s not smart to leave James – and that’s a different smart than book-learning smart – she’d try to find some other friends. Andy says James was angry when Raquel wanted to go to Girls’ Night. James says he got over it, and she went. Raquel says she didn’t go because he didn’t want her to. It would be sweet if she got up and left, never looking back, right now. But that doesn’t happen. Andy says Lala professes to be a feminist, but isn’t supportive of Raquel. Lala says just because Raquel has a vagina, doesn’t mean she’s going to be supportive. I hear that. She says Raquel’s boyfriend has attacked every part of her life. When they were at dinner in Vegas, he called her the c-word at the table in front of everyone, including her dad, who left. She’s not supporting someone who’s involved with him, and when she needed female support, failed to step up. Raquel says she’s sorry she didn’t step up, but the way Lala has treated her is unacceptable. She can’t wrap her brain around Lala’s behavior. Lala says she can’t wrap her brain around Raquel’s behavior.
Stassi thinks it’s hard to connect to Raquel, because she’s okay with what James does, and how he treats them. Raquel asks if it would make them happy if she publicly embarrassed James. That’s a hard yes from everyone. Lisa thinks it would make them very happy; Andy says Lala apologized at the roller party, but Raquel doesn’t know if Lala is capable of giving a sincere apology. Lala says it’s hard to care about what she’s saying when she doesn’t care about the person. Raquel tells her to learn basic manners. Let people finish what they’re saying. Jax says she should talk to the guy next to her about manners. James says Jax goes to the bathroom with the door open. I’m not kidding. This is his reply. Raquel says she’s trying to have a conversation with Lala. Andy says Raquel talked to Lala’s friend Alexis, saying Lala was dad blaming. Raquel says Lala was avoiding a conversation she didn’t want to have by bringing up her loss. It’s her way of controlling the situation; it gave her an excuse. Lala says, so now her dad is an excuse? She says when Raquel loses a parent – which they all will – she prays whoever she’s around, tiptoes around her, lets her scream, and never cheapens the death, saying it was an excuse, like Raquel just did. Raquel says Lala isn’t taking responsibilities for her actions. Lala was telling all of them that she knew she wasn’t in her right mind, except the one person she was actually affecting. Lisa says, it’s no reason to lash out. Lala says Raquel spoke about her dad. Tom says she didn’t, but Lala says Raquel said it in an interview. Enough is enough.Move on. Tom says he gets what she’s going through, but she says he doesn’t. He hasn’t been through sh*t. He says something about his dad being in a coma for three days, and not sleeping for three days, but I’m confused as to whether this led to his dad dying or if he recovered, which would make a huge difference. He says he didn’t react like that, and Lala says, good for him. He says he didn’t yell at people he doesn’t like, and Jax says, if that’s what you have to do. Lisa doesn’t think it’s an excuse to lash out. Andy asks Raquel how the relationship is today, and Raquel says they’re happy. Lisa asks if James is supportive, and if she holds him accountable, or does she just acknowledge what he does. Raquel thinks she’s putting James on a better path. She approaches him a different way. Instead of acting like he’s a bad kid, she hears him out. She wants to understand why he does what he does. Jax says her work in child therapy should help. It’s time for her to go, and when she gets up, I cringe at the dress again. Maybe she wanted to look like an angel? Whatever it was, it didn’t work.
It’s been a year since Lisa’s brother passed away, and Andy asks how she’s coping. She started the season right after it happened. Lisa needs a tissue, and Andy says, it’s still raw, like the dolt he is. She says she held it together while they were filming. She didn’t want to bring everyone down, so she struggled through. She thought the best way to get through her grief would be help from a grief counselor. She was also on anti-depressants when two Tylenol are a lot for her. She’s British, and always kept a stiff upper lip, but she guesses she has feelings too. She didn’t do too well this year. Scheana says they all support her. She doesn’t have to stay strong, but Lisa says she does. She needs a moment, and walks offstage.
Andy says Lala suffered emotional upheaval. Lala says her father had a stroke while he was driving, and the car caught fire. When he got home, he was lethargic, and was supposed to see a cardiologist on Monday, but never woke up on Saturday. Andy says last year, at the reunion, Jax had just lost his father. Jax says it hasn’t been any easier. It destroyed his family. He has no relationship with his mom. She’d taken his father’s cell phone, and when he called, said his father was taking a nap. Next thing he knew, his father was in the ICU. The issue is her not telling him anything, and he has no idea if those were his dad’s wishes. His sister isn’t speaking to their mother either. She’s in the same boat.
Lala brings up a Tweet that James sent out, saying she and Jax need to make peace with the fact their daddies are dead and move on. Jax asks why he felt the need to say it. James says Jax made a fake Twitter account in Raquel’s name, and said James had been sleeping with men. Ariana says Jax’s phone number was connected with the account. Jax says, so James wants to talk about his dad? and gets up. James gets up, and Andy gets between them. Jax sits down. Jax says James’s girlfriend is useless, and James says, look at his. She looks like a disco ball; I guess referring to all the sequins Brittany is wearing. Brittany thinks she looks good. I second that. James tells them to go back to Kentucky and make babies. Jax belongs in Kentucky with the hillbillies. Brittany asks if he’s saying her family are hillbillies, and he makes fun of her accent. Because we’re four. Ariana says this has nothing to do with Brittany. (And it’s not about the pasta either.) James calls Jax old man, like he’s done a million times. Jax is like, that’s all you’ve got? and points out that James is also calling Andy old. James says he’ll call anybody anything he wants to, but you can tell this caught him off guard. Tom says every time James says something, they jump on him. Kristen asks why he keeps defending James. James says Jax is obsessed with him, and calls Brittany a dumb bitch. Jax says he could have a field day with James’s mom. James says he bets Jax could, and I’m guessing he didn’t realize he just insulted his own mom. Jax says James is so unwanted, it’s ridiculous. Brittany says he’s a horrible person, and James says he doesn’t give a flying about her. He calls her a bitch again. She says, there it is; the real James. Tom says they were talking sh*t about James’s girlfriend. Brittany says James was talking about her family, and Tom is supposed to be their best friend. Andy keeps trying to interrupt, but everyone ignores him. He finally tells them, STFU, and Lisa says, yay.
Next time – Part Two – Kristen asks why Tom doesn’t hold James accountable, Lisa says everyone has hooked up with a girl except her, Lala and Ariana’s hook up is discussed, Billie joins the group, and Andy gets his own helmet.
🏃 This Couldn’t Wait…
There is justice in the world. Max Gail for the win.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Sorry, missed the first minute or two.
Stella finds Jordan unconscious. She asks if Jordan can hear her, but there’s no response.
Elizabeth tells Finn that she hasn’t heard from Hayden in quite a while. Why? Finn says there’s something he wants to tell her. The last number he has for her is disconnected. Stella calls for help, and Finn and Elizabeth run to her. Finn takes a look at Jordan, and asks for a gurney. He asks Jordan if she can open her eyes.
Curtis says, so Timmy doesn’t remember the name of the woman who hired him? Timmy says, offered to hire him. They didn’t exchange names. She was hanging out by the docks, and he found her there. Curtis says, it’s a small town. He was under the impression that everyone knew each other. Timmy says she was obviously not from around there. Curtis shows him the money.
Ava answers her phone, and says she can’t hear them. Who is this? Mac takes the phone, and asks who it is. He says, okay. No problem. He tells Ava it was a wrong number. It sounded like the woman was near a shipyard, which was probably why Ava couldn’t hear her. He thinks he scared her.
Doc tells Ava, it’s all right, but she says, a wrong number to a blocked line after the video was posted? She doesn’t think it’s a coincidence. Doc says, Occam’s Razor. In the absence of other evidence, the simplest explanation is the most likely.
Shiloh shows Sam his office, and says, nothing of interest. She asks why it’s locked. Isn’t DOD’s main tenet transparency? The full truth, no matter what the cost? He tells her office contains DOD’s chronicles, and it would be inappropriate to share them with her. She understands, and asks if the Trust members are allowed in. He says Trust members are afforded special privileges, and tells her that she needs to temper her inquisitive nature with patience. She says it means so much that she’s worth consideration. She wants to prove herself to him any way she can.
Valerie makes a call, and tells someone she’s getting creepy calls from a blocked number. She thinks her ex might be stalking her. She says, it’s not an official police request. She wants to keep it on the DL, but thinks they should be able to trace the call. She thanks them.
Alexis asks how long before she’s arrested for conspiracy and kidnapping? Sonny says he’s not the one who left his phone so Kristina could get it. Alexis says, sorry. She’s not experienced in kidnapping. Neil says Kristina wasn’t on long enough to tell Valerie where she was. Alexis asks what she said, but Neil says it’s privileged information. She asks if he doesn’t think the lines are blurred at this point. It would help to know what she communicated. Neil says they need strategy for their next session, but Alexis isn’t sure there will be one. Now that Valerie knows what’s going on, she thinks their time is about to be up.
Franco tells Drew it’s no secret the Quartermaine’s hate him, but he wanted to pay his respects to Oscar. Realizing his wording isn’t the best, he fumbles around, then says he’s the worst at this. Drew says he’s doing great, and tells him to go back inside. He says everyone in there hates him. He thought he’d just drop this off, and run away. He gives Drew a wrapped canvas, and Drew asks if he can open it now. Franco says he can hang it in Oscar’s room while he’s staying there. Drew unwraps a painting of a sunset with a tree in the foreground. He asks if Franco painted it. Franco says it’s kind of a departure. He had some paintings in the basement that Oscar and Cameron saw, and Oscar really liked that one, so he wanted him to have it. Drew thanks him, but Franco says, it’s just a gesture. He wishes could do something that counted. He’s sorry. Drew is too.
Curtis tells Timmy that he can have all of it if he tells Curtis what he needs to know. Was the woman American? Timmy says it didn’t sound like an American accent. He noticed a bumper sticker on her cat that said, North Madison High School, Class of ’94. It’s a few towns over, and this isn’t a destination for them, unless there’s something they have that the people can’t get there.
In a hospital bed, Jordan opens her eyes. Stella tells her, relax, and Jordan asks, what happened? Elizabeth says she collapsed, and Stella found her. Stella says she picked a fine place to faint. Finn comes in, and Stella and Jordan thank him. He’s glad she’s awake. He’s going to be the consulting doctor on her case now. Stella says he’s an infectious disease specialist, and he says her body is reacting to an infection in the remaining kidney. She asks what the course of treatment is. He says she’s allergic to penicillin, so they’ll try a different antibiotic, and see if it’s affective. Stella asks what happens if it’s not.
Sam says Shiloh told her that she might be ready for the next level, and he’d contact her. Shiloh asks if she’s being impatient. She says, maybe, but she wants him to know she’s willing and ready. Mark asks if he’s interrupting, and Shiloh says, no. Mark says he got distracted talking to other members, and asks Sam if they’re still on. He tells Shiloh that Sam offered to go to lunch with him, and help him choose courses. Shiloh tells them to go. He’ll talk to Sam later.
Neil tells Alexis and Sonny that he wants to talk about how they’re going to approach Kristina. The technique is called motivational interviewing. They can’t criticize DOD or the members. Kristina is too wrapped up in it, and if they criticize the group, they criticize her. The goal is to get her to realize for herself that DOD can’t meet her needs. Sonny says the sooner they clear Kristina’s head, the better. There’s a knock at the door, and Alexis answers. It’s Valerie and Chase. Valerie asks if they can come in.
Alexis ask to what she owes this unexpected pleasure. Neil hustles into another room. Valerie tells Alexis they want to talk to her, and Alexis asks if it’s official business. Do they have a warrant? Chase says there’s no need for one; they just have a few questions. Alexis says she’s in the middle of something, but lets them in. Valerie says she didn’t expect to see Sonny, and he says, likewise. Alexis says they were just going over some legal business. Chase asks if Diane is indisposed, and Sonny says he has different lawyers for different business. And I say, man, for this being unofficial, they sure are nosy. Valerie says Alexis claimed Kristina was out of town visiting a friend, and clearing her head, but she got a call from Kristina from an unknown number. She had the call traced, and the phone is registered to Alexis.
Finn says, most patients respond well to antibiotics, but Jordan says, most patents have another kidney to fall back on. Finn suggests they not get ahead of themselves. Stella tells Jordan that she’ll give her some privacy to get settled. Jordan says, give it to her straight. If can’t beat the infection, what does it mean? Elizabeth gives her something to make her more comfortable. Jordan says, hopefully, the antibiotics will clear up the infection overnight, and no one will need to worry. If that happens, she’ll be an anomaly, since it usually takes at least a week. Curtis calls, but she doesn’t answer.
Timmy says Curtis promised him a hundred dollars, but Curtis says he asked for the name, not a high school in another town. He calls Jordan and leaves a message that he’s got a new lead. It might keep him out of town a while. He’d rather be with her, but hopes it leads to Ryan. I thought the high school was actually a pretty good lead.
Jordan tells Elizabeth, she might not want to be there, but she’s reasonably comfortable. Elizabeth says she couldn’t help notice that Jordan ignored the call from Curtis. Won’t he want to know what’s going on with her? Jordan says Stella probably already told him, but Elizabeth thinks he’d want to hear it from her. It’s our instinct to help the people we love, and the people we love are in the best position to help us.
Curtis starts searching online for the high school. Jordan calls, and he says he turned up something. He asks if it’s okay if he sticks around and follows up. She thinks he should get back, and he asks if everything is okay. She wishes she could say yes, but she has to tell him something.
At the MetroCourt, Lulu says Ryan’s memorial is getting a lot of views. Doc says, if Ryan is one of them, he believes they think he’s dead, and will come out of hiding. Felicia says, then he’ll do something rash, and make a mistake. Mac says, don’t count on the timeframe. He’ll need recovery time. Felicia says, don’t count on Ryan recovering. When he sees Ava is with someone else, he’ll come running. Lulu says they have to reinforce the idea Ava and Doc have bonded. Ava says, let’s do it, and Lulu takes her to where there’s better lighting. Felica tells Doc that Ava’s not the only one with a target on their back. What he’s doing is really brave. She hopes he’ll be ready for when Ryan returns.
Lulu asks if Ava is ready, and starts to film. She says this is part one of her exclusive interview with Ava Jerome, the object of serial killer Ryan Chamberlain’s obsession. She thanks Ava, and asks what she can tell the viewers about her relationship with Ryan.
Franco says he thinks he’s done there, doing the thing he does best, making everything worse, but Drew asks Franco to stay a while, and keep him company. He doesn’t need one more person who wants to put a positive spin on things. He might snap on them. His son is dying; there’s no positive there. He just found out he had a son, a piece of his past he can’t remember. The worst part is his son has worse, losing every inch of his future.
Valerie asks Alexis if she has any idea how Kristina was calling from her phone. Alexis goes into her purse, and says she knew it. She has Kristina’s phone. Valerie says, she had it without knowing? and Alexis says, it happens a lot. They have the same phone, model, and case. Chase says she didn’t notice? Sonny says Alexis avoids her cell phone. She forgets it or doesn’t charge it. It’s hella frustrating, and if you text her, you’re not getting one back. Valerie suggests Alexis activate the tracking on her phone, but Alexis says she already knows where Kristina is. Is she under investigation? Chase says, not at all. They just wanted to verify her whereabouts. Sonny says they know where she’s at. Alexis says they’re respecting Kristina’s privacy, so unless there’s a compelling reason, they’re not disclosing it. Valerie says they’ll be in touch, and they leave. Alexis asks Sonny what the odd are that they bought any of that. Sonny says, not a chance. Alexis is going to be under surveillance, and can’t go to the session tomorrow.
Lulu says, it’s tough to understand. Ava’s feelings for Ryan were genuine? Ava says, yes. He was there for her when she needed him. He picked her up when she fell off course. She had no idea Ryan was behind what happened to her daughter. She came to rely on him completely. The irony of all of this is, she thought it was Doc who she’d developed a deep powerful connection to. Doc, who accepted her as she as. He saw the good in her. Now she knows it was Ryan imitating his brother. That’s how she came to fall in love with him. She fell in love with a man pretending to be his brother. The real Ryan murdered her daughter. We see someone watching the interview. Lulu says, it must be hard to live with. Ava says, if there’s any silver lining, she’s not alone. There is someone Ryan hurt almost as much;his brother. His brother is remarkable. Now that she’s getting to know the actual Doc, not an impersonation, he’s a remarkable man, and an invaluable source of support. Lulu thanks her.
Mac says, Felicia has a point. If it works, Ryan is coming after Doc. Is he ready? Doc says he has to be. He wants to do whatever he can to capture his brother. Felicia says she wishes… never mind. Doc finishes, turned him in? So does he. He looks at his justifications and excuses, and can’t believe his arrogance and how foolish he was. Three people died because of him. His greatest loss was just as devastating other loss just as devastating. People lost their faith, trust, and belief in him as a friend. Mac says he can’t help anyone by being a martyr himself. Luring Ryan out is one thing, but being a target is something else. Doc says if it helps capture his brother, he’ll do it; no hesitation.
Lulu says, that concludespart one in the series, The Object of Obsession: Surviving the Monster I loved. Ava downs her drink.
Franco tells Drew not to let anyone tell him how to process grief; it’s different for everyone. He grieves every day, but doesn’t talk about it. What’s the point? He has to go through it. Go through the motions, and stay present for the people he loves and who say they care about him. He misses Kiki – until he paints. He’s waiting for the time when he sees everything Kiki accomplished and gave of herself. Someday, Kiki’s life will no longer be overwhelmed by her death. It will happen. It’s hard, but he does it because it’s what she would want. It’s slow going. Drew says, yeah. Franco says he’s making the worst of everything today, but Drew appreciates it, and says he’s been a lot of help. Franco says he’d like to be a help to Drew. He doesn’t always have to talk so much. Drew laughs, and Franco says they might not be blood, but they’re still brothers. He’ll always be there for Drew. Drew says he’s grateful.
Alexis tells Sonny, it’s not an official investigation, but Sonny says they suspect something is up. She’s in their sights, and can’t go to the safe house. Neil says he can’t stress how important is for them both to be there, especially her. She has the most contentious relationship with Kristina. It’s a critical time. Sonny says they’ll be trailing her with the phone, and they can’t risk it. He has experience distancing himself from cops. Alexis says, it’s not a bragging point. Milo calls, and Sonny has to go. Alexis asks what about Kristina’s therapy, and Sonny says they’ll discuss other options. He leaves, and Neil asks Alexis says, it could mean anything. He could put her in the trunk of a car to take her to the safe house, or take them all to a private island. Neil says, that would be a disaster. She says, the whole thing is. She asks which one of them is right? and Neil says, unfortunately, both of them.
Mark – who I didn’t realize is Milo, since he hasn’t been on the show since the earth cooled – says he’s sorry he pulled Sam away, but he had to make sure Shiloh didn’t catch her. Sam is glad he texted her when he did. She got distracted by something she found. She should have stayed on point. He asks what she found, and she says a picture of her and Shiloh that she didn’t know he was taking. Nothing damaging, but it reminded her that she can’t trust a word he says. Even if he believes she’s all in about joining the Trust, she needs to watch her back.
Shiloh goes into his office, and opens a file drawer.
Doc asks how it went, and Lulu thinks it was convincing. If he’s out there, they got his attention. Ava wishes everyone would stop saying if he’s out there. He’s out there. Now, the public needs to think she and Doc have actually fallen for each other.
In the fastest trip back from Canada ever, Curtis goes to Jordan’s bedside. Stella is so glad he’s back, and he says Jordan was just about fill him in on what happened. Stella says she found Jordan on the hospital floor, and called for help. Finn walks in, and she says he can hear the rest from the expert. Finn says, first, they have to see how Jordan responds to the antibiotics. If she doesn’t, given the condition of her remaining kidney, she’ll need a transplant as soon as possible.
Franco finds Elizabeth at the reception desk. She asks where he disappeared to. He tells her that Cameron told him about Oscar liking one of his paintings, and he dropped it off at the Quartermaines. Elizabeth says that was generous, but he says it was just a gesture. He talked, and Drew listened, but he wishes he could help. Elizabeth thinks he just did. They hug.
Drew looks at the painting.
Valerie and Chase go to the MetroCourt for lunch. Valerie is surprised Chase wanted to eat there. He thinks they should eat some good food while they can, and drink some triple espressos. They’re going on a stakeout to keep an eye on Alexis. Maybe it will lead them to Kristina.
Alexis looks out the window. Neil says she has an elaborate tea collection, and she says she can never have enough calming tea. She doesn’t see anyone outside. Not that she would have. Neil says they have to try a different approach. They can’t risk leading the police to Kristina, and they’ll be monitoring Alexis; watching her every move. Alexis said they’ll be watching her car, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be following her.
Milo tells Sonny that he tried to keep Shiloh talking, but he got brushed off. Sam says, thank God that Milo texted her when he did, but It wasn’t a total waste. She knows where Shiloh keeps his secrets. Shiloh told her members of the Trust have more privileges. That means she’ll have to become a member, but she’ll do whatever it takes.
Shiloh looks at the picture of him and blindfolded Sam. He says he knows all of her secrets, and can’t wait to see what she reveals,
Tomorrow, Ned asks what someone is doing there, Drew says maybe Oscar isn’t fighting a losing battle, and Oscar tells Josslyn that he feels better.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Erika and LisaR drive to Erika’s friend’s studio, Merge. In her interview, LisaR says she loves their relationship. They built it over time; it didn’t just happen. There’s a survivor and hustler in Erika that she relates to, and she gets a kick out of Erika. She tells Erika about the TV show she did called Merge. In Erika’s interview, she says LisaR is fearless, and admits her faults. That’s a real friend. Not someone who will never admit they do anything wrong.
At the studio they get on the rowing machine. The instructor says LisaR’s ass is weak. In her interview, she brags about an exercise video she made ten years ago, and we see a clip. It’s not super professional. So what have you done lately? Cardigans? They do an exercise that actually looks harmful for the lower back.
LVP and Ken look at marble for the kitchen. It’s like a lumber yard, except there are huge marble slabs all around. Giggy! Puffy! In LVP’s interview, she says they’re in the middle of a kitchen remodel, and it’s getting expensive. She has to keep a lid on the budget or she’ll be in trouble. She says she’s going to choose the one Puffy lifts his leg on. Sure enough, Puffy pees, but she says that one isn’t quite right. She tells Ken that PK called her. We see a clip of them on the phone, saying they miss each other. PK tells her to have her people talk to his people. LVP says she is her people. She says it’s hard having a conversation about something you both disagree on. It just goes around and around. In her interview, she says she hasn’t seen Dorit since the wedding, and they all think LVP gave the story to Radar Online. If Dorit is going to call her a liar, there is no friendship.
Dorit needs a Beverly Beach office, and has designer Mat whip something up for her. She says she can’t operate out of her house anymore. She’s ready for the next level. Growing the business has been like having another child, and she loves that the kids can play together. It’s bigger and more gorgeous than most people’s apartments. PK arrives, and Mat is off to his next design emergency. PK tells Dorit that they’re having lunch with LVP. Dorit says she never thought something would happen and the friendship would be dissipated. In her interview, Dorit says they have a history. We see clips from the past, including LVP defending Dorit at a reunion. The loving part of her wants to make things right, but she’s not doing it at the expense of her integrity. PK says Ken wants to put things back together. Dorit tells him that his throwaway comment to Kyle was a tad insensitive. He says he’s happy to apologize, but he’s not discussing it for weeks on end. And they will.
In the car, Kyle tells Teddi that Sophia is coming home for weekend. She asks if Teddi has talked to anyone, and Teddi asks if Dorit reached out. Kyle asks if she’s wrong, and we flash back Teddi saying anyone who knows Kyle, knows she would be hurt, referring to PK’s remark. Kyle says it cost her friendship with LVP. He implied she did something wrong, when she spoke up and told the truth. He should be thankful. She says she’ll survive. They park the car, and walk around Lake Hollywood. Deer! Kyle says this is what she loves about living in LA. Like you can’t see wild animals anywhere else. Teddi says she loves doing things she wouldn’t normally, like the RV trip. She doesn’t know how far they’ll get. it’s the size of a tour bus. Kyle jokingly asks, how many bedrooms? In her interview, Teddi says she loves camping. It’s living the simple life, even if it’s only 24-hours. Kyle says they’re the only ones who think it will be fun. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s trying again to take them out of their comfort zones, and see if they can relax together. The worst case, one of them doesn’t make it home. She and Kyle take a selfie with the Hollywood sign in the background.
Denise meets Camille for lunch. Camille tells her that it’s been a hectic time; raising teenagers, and blending a family. Denise asks if she feels differently about getting married now. Camille says it was David’s idea to have a big wedding. She wanted something small, but she’s glad she agreed. In her interview, Denise says she and Camille met when Camille was married to Kelsey, and they’ve compared notes on public divorces. They’re definitely survivors. Denise asks how the concert was, and if she needs a drink to hear about it. Camille says she might, so Denise orders a martini. Camille says the concert was great, but afterwards, PK said something to Kyle backstage about how she can’t keep a best friend. Dorit tried to explain later, but Teddi jumped in. She feels like Teddi is a bit of a know-it-all. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi needs to take a seat. Her youth is getting the best of her, and she sounds like an entitled millennial. She tells Denise that she’s getting to like Dorit more, but thinks something is off. Denise spaces out as Camille talks about everyone. In Denise’s interview, she says Camille wont shut up. It’s making her feel like Camille will be talking about her next. It puts her in a compromising position. She loves everyone, and doesn’t want to tell them what Camille is saying. She doesn’t want everything to blow up. She asks Camille if everyone is going to be fighting on the RV trip. Camille says, it’s going to be the RV from hell.
Aaron and Denise watch the sunrise while having coffee. In Denise’s interview, she says they wake up at five am, have a little hanky-panky, get the kids ready, coffee, gym, and get the kids off to school.
Kyle makes Portia breakfast, leaving it on her bed. She tells the dogs not to touch it, which would be meaningless in my house. In her interview, she says they’ve always done attachment parenting, and Portia still sleeps with them at ten-years-old. Okay… She says they want it, need it, and they’re happy. Okay… again. She doesn’t think she’s spoiling Portia. She’s just taking care of her. It’s her job. Just a thought, but her kids also seem to have a hard time leaving home, and part of a parent’s job is to prepare them for that. Maybe they’re a little too attached.
Denise says her girls love Aaron, and like his cooking better than hers. Parenting teenagers ischallenging. The girls fight over who’s wearing whose clothes. In her interview, Denise says they’re pushing the boundaries for independence, and it’s hard to figure out what battles to pick. Sometimes it’s better to let them work it out. There’s no real handbook.
Kyle thinks it’s important for children to know they’re the most important people in your life. Her world revolves around them. Kyle puts Portia’s socks on her, as Portia picks at the tray. Omg, I was getting myself ready by the time I was eight.
At Villa Blanca, LVP tells Ken that Dorit and PK are coming by. Since they’re not open for lunch, Ken suggests getting sushi. In her interview, LVP says the lunch might be a conduit for putting the friendship back together, if they can find a middle ground. If Dorit says she believes LVP, they can move past it, and be in harmony again.
PK insists this will make things better. Dorit says she still has be true to herself. Friends can have a difference of opinion, but if they both want to find a way to move forward, they can work it out. PK wants them to find a compromise, and is leaving that to them.
The restaurant is all decked out for a celebration about gay rights in India, where homosexuality has just been decriminalized. Puffy! They sit down outside, and PK says it was cold this morning. LVP says she’s felt frozen out for a few weeks. They clink glasses, and Dorit wonders why LVP doesn’t seem very welcoming to her. LVP says everybody is focused on the Radar Online article. Dorit asks why LVP called TMZ instead of calling her, and saying it’s not true. LVP thought it would make a bigger statement. In her interview, Dorit says LVP should have called her to see how she was doing, instead of telling TMZ it was an outrage. Dorit tells LVP that they don’t talk via the media. LVP says one day Dorit is going to realize she was defending her, but she’ll find out too late that LVP was in her corner. In Dorit’s interview, she thinks LVP planted a false story, and then swooped in and defended her. LVP wants to say she was the one who saved Dorit. Dorit says it’s difficult to believe LVP didn’t do it. LVP says if Dorit believes she gave the story to Radar Online, they don’t have a friendship. Does she want LVP to take a lie detector test? PK wonders why they can’t just say things got effed up, and move. Ken says they can only move on if Dorit understands LVP didn’t lie, and is the best friend she’ll ever have. If she doesn’t, there’s no friendship. PK says Ken is trying to control their thoughts, but Ken says he’s trying to convince them that LVP is the most honest person they’ll ever meet. In LVP’s interview, she wonders why Dorit would want to have lunch with a liar. She wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar. Why would they? Dorit says she can’t believe LVP wants to throw away a friendship that she thinks is stronger and more powerful than this incident. LVP says everyone is bringing the gavel down on her just because they want to believe something. Dorit says LVP can say it happened, but Dorit loves her enough to put it behind her. Ken says she’s still saying she doesn’t believe LVP. Dorit says they can agree to disagree, but Ken says they can’t. PK thinks they’re looking at it too black and white. Ken says he knows PK is trying, but his wife isn’t. If she thinks LVP is lying, they can’t be friends. Dorit says she can only hear that someone doesn’t want to be friends with her for so long. PK believes someone in LVP’s camp leaked the story. LVP swears on her kids’ lives that she didn’t, and doesn’t know who did. PK accepts that, but Ken says his wife doesn’t. PK says he’s a trusting and forgiving person, and he can’t control his wife. Dorit says he’s asking her to dig deep, and not be true to herself. PK says he believes LVP. Dorit says, it’s painful. She cares about the friendship, but believes LVP had something to do with the initial story and the Johns. Ken says he’d like to be friends with PK, but… He and LVP go inside.
PK tells Dorit that she wasn’t helpful. She doesn’t think it’s fair. She doesn’t want a conditional friendship. Inside, LVP tells Ken that she doesn’t care. Dorit comes in, and tells LVP that she respects LVP and loves her. LVP wonders how, since friendships are based on honesty. Why would she want to move forward with someone she thinks lied to her. She gives Dorit cheek kisses, and says she loves her. Dorit wonders how she can say that, and LVP says, actually, she doesn’t. This is the first time she’s lied. In Dorit’s interview, she says it’s clear that LVP is still holding a grudge about Dorit saying she’s needy, and needs attention. We flash back to Dorit saying just that, and that LVP’s parents didn’t fulfill her love and attention needs. She says she apologized seven million times. We flash back to that too, but’s it’s more like three times. She says, it’s payback. Remember last year? There you go. A huge question mark hangs over my head about how she came to this conclusion. LVP tells Ken it would be easier to address Congress than talk to that bloody cow.
Yuk! Kyle cuts Mauricio’s toenails. She says as long as her husband is in the house with her, her job will never be done. A photographer comes to take holiday card photos. In her interview, Kyle explains that when she was growing up, her mother always did photo cards. They weren’t professional, but when she had kids, they became a big thing. And she’s going to keep doing it when they have kids. She asks if this is the most Sophia has slept since she went off to college, and Sophia says, yes; she goes to bed at 6 am. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’d worry if she didn’t think Sophia was a responsible kid. The equipment is set up. Kyle goes to get dressed, and tells Mauricio she needs him in jeans and a white button-down shirt.
Everyone sits on the stairs, and gets ready for the photo. Kyle suddenly realizes someone left the gate open, and they all run outside. Romeo is on the loose, and Kyle drags Storm back to the house. In her interview, Kyle says she always feels that her life is like Whack-A-Mole, and I totally relate. Somehow, the photos get taken.
In Teddi’s interview, she says her M.O. for having a catered dinner where the women are taken care of is – news flash – when they go camping, they’ll have to do it themselves. LisaR can’t believe the RV sitting in the driveway. She’s stressed out about it. In her interview, she says she doesn’t like to be uncomfortable. We flash back to her aversion to Harry’s tent. And that’s not a euphemism for anything. She says she doesn’t like to be trapped with anyone, and feels like she will be. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t like the awkwardness with her friends. She doesn’t want her anger toward PK to trickle down. She thinks she had every right to be angry.
Kyle says there are three tents with room for two and the RV. She’s assuming LVP isn’t coming. Teddi says she didn’t hear from her about tonight, and asks if anyone has talked to her. Erika says LVP texted her about the celebration of Indian gay rights. We see clips from the party. Ken dances with Giggy. Dorit says she and PK had lunch with LVP and Ken. The essence was that either Dorit believe LVP had nothing to do with the article, or they’re not friends. Everyone gasps, and this is so shocking, why? Denise says LVP needs to apologize, and Kyle asks if she’s a comedienne now. In LisaR’s interview, she says, you need to realize you can’t be perfect, and LVP can’t do that. Kyle asks why Dorit is trying so hard. Erika asks how PK feels, and Dorit says PK is the eternal optimist, and wants to continue trying. Kyle brings up PK’s remark to her, saying one of them should have called her. Dorit says PK didn’t mean anything by it, and he apologized to her. Kyle says it wasn’t really an apology. We flash to PK saying, sorry, it was just a joke. Dorit says PK wants to continue to be friends with Ken and LVP, and she’s the one who got tossed aside. Erika asks how that’s working at home. If it was Tom, she’d be showing up there. Dorit says the friendship isn’t more important than their marriage. Kyle thinks something else is going on. In her interview, Kyle thinks it’s odd that PK is protecting the friendship. Maybe it’s business or London secrets. She can’t put her finger on it. It’s probably nothing except he doesn’t want to lose his friends of thirty years. These women are so ridiculous. Dorit says, it’s a deep friendship, and Kyle says she’s better friends with LVP than PK. Dorit knows Kyle thinks so. Camille says she never heard about Dorit and PK until two years ago. Dorit says the people who have known LVP and Ken for thirty years know them. In Erika’s interview, she says here they are again, with these two arguing about who’s a better friend to LVP. We see a clip of the Dorit-Kyle-LVP triangle. Erika says LVP isn’t home worrying about either of those two. Dorit says their friendship isn’t based on whether Kyle heard of them. Kyle says friends know each other’s friends. Dorit says she doesn’t know all of Kyle’s friends, and Kyle says maybe they’re not that close of friends. Dorit can’t believe where the conversation is going. Kyle is hurting her, and she’s asking her to stop.
Denise says she can’t wait for the effing trip they’re going on. Ha-ha!
Next time, the RV trip – which is probably enough – grocery shopping, Teddi thinks PK is acting out, and Teddi confronts Camille about being two faced.
My two cents. I half-jest when I say LVP can do no wrong, but I totally get what she’s saying. If someone clearly stated they didn’t believe me about something – and this is kind of a big something – but still wanted to be friends, I’d wonder why too. What are they getting out of being friends with someone they think is a liar? It’s weird. I’m also with LVP on that I wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar. That’s actually a deal breaker for me. Obviously, it depends on the lie, but it’s definitely a cause for breaking up. She’s also not saying that someone from her camp didn’t leak it. She just doesn’t know who. Even Radar Online has said she had nothing to do with it. While they’re certainly not credible, the bottom line is, there’s no proof. There’s only a bunch of women speculating, with no real evidence. A guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight, Dorit said it was just a feeling she had. Dorit doesn’t get that LVP would always be thinking that someone who’s supposed to be her friend, believes she’s a liar.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Alex tells Ian to get off of her. He thought it was what she wanted, and she tells him, get out. He says, okay, Jennifer, and she says her name is Alex. He says she really doesn’t remember him? She sent him text messages. She says, it wasn’t her, and he says they met. They’re adults. If he’d known she was married, he wouldn’t have said anything. He was married too. She asks what he’s talking about. He says they met at the Maxine hotel. She told him about the break-up. She was so nervous, she kept looking over her shoulder. He doesn’t know why. She says, that never happened. He must be drunk; get out. He says he wouldn’t have said anything if he knew she’d be upset. He talks her down, and says he’ll take the divorce papers home, and bring them back tomorrow. She says he can call her with any advice; he doesn’t need to come. Well, she could do worse. He’s divorced. she’s about to be. and Marcie isn’t interested. so why not?
Eddie comes over to Lushion’s desk with to-go (empty) coffee cups. (I have this thing about actors not making it look like the cup is full. Where is the direction when it comes to this?!) Lushion says Eddie is a fool if he thinks he’s going to drink it. Eddie says he’s trying to be nice. Lushion says, no. Eddie doesn’t know how to be nice. What’s going on? Eddie says, when he’s being normal, Lushion thinks he’s up to something. Lushion says he’s always trying to raise hell. Eddie says, no secrets. He knows they’re FBI, and he’s DEA. They both want to take down the cartel. Instead of hiding stuff from each other, they should work toward a common goal. They should share information. Lushion likes it, and tells Eddie, gofirst. Eddie starts talking, and Lushion asks what this is about. Eddie asks why Lushion stopped asking him about Andrew. Lushion isn’t a quitter. Lushion asks if Eddie wants to tell him where Andrew is. Eddie says he knows as much as Lushion. He asks if Andrew is in protective custody. Lushion asks if he’s worried about something. He asks again if Eddie knows where Andrew is. Eddie says he has no idea. He came to extend an olive branch, and it’s not happening. He’s still trying to take Eddie out. Lushion says, with everything inside him. Eddie says, enjoy his latte, and Lushion dumps it in the trash. Eddie says, that’s $4.95, you son of a bitch, and leaves. Rick walks in and says he hates that guy. That was weird, Eddie was behaving like we’ve never seen him, and even his voice sounded different. What’s up with that?
Lushion tells Rick, join the club. Rick has something. He gives Lushion a file, and says he talked to Margaret. She gave him that. It’s a file of the women the church tried to hide, who were being stalked by Travis. Lushion says it’s exactly what they need. Will they talk? Rick says, they’re afraid to. Lushion says what they have should be enough. Rick asks if he can tell Kelly, but Lushion says, not yet. Rick says he’ll just tell her that they’ve got something good, and Lushion says, okay. He appreciates rick, and tells him, great work. Rick asks if he’s saying they’re going to get her off. Lushion says, they’re going to try.
Lushion calls Ian, and says he’s got something. Nine women who Travis stalked, and proof the church settled. Ian asks, how did he get it? and Lushion says, he got it. Ian says, does he know it’s legit? and Lushion says, he knows it is. Ian says it’s too close. If they go down that road, Larry already thinks it’s him. He’s still in, but has to think it out. Lushion says he’s trying to trust Ian. Be straight up. Ian says he’s in. Give him some time to figure it out. Lushion wants Kelly out, and Ian says he’ll call when he’s out of court. He asks how long Lushion has known Alex, and Lushion says, a while; why? Ian asks if she’s the type to step out on her husband. Lushion wonders if he’s asking if she’s available, but Ian says he’s just. Lushion asks him to come over with the kid lawyer later, and Ian says he’s on it.
Ian calls Carl, and says he wants to talk about a case. It has to stay very private. He knows Carl met with Kelly; it’s about her. Don’t tell a soul. He’ll text Carl with the address.
Rick beings Kelly some pudding. He says they got it. Several other women at the church, but they’re afraid to talk. Kelly says she could be stuck in there, but Rick says Lushion is talking to a lawyer, and they’re both going to talk to the DA. Kelly asks if there’s a chance they’ll know she’s not lying, and Rick says, yeah. She asks, how long will it take? He doesn’t know, but not long. They’re working on it. She thanks him for the pudding, and he thanks her for not hating him for not believing her. She says he didn’t know, but he says he should have; he’s an officer. Kelly says, she slept with him. She should have known. Rick says, it’s over now, but she says, no, it’s not. She’s in jail. He says they’re getting her out. She loves his confidence, and he says that’s how he feels. He tells her, if she likes pudding, she can always hit him up.
Dr. Raston calls Alex, to make sure she’s on time for the board meeting. In the time it takes for me to think, geez, she doesn’t ned a babysitter, the phone rings again. It’s Brad, who reminds her that he’ll be over today, and she needs to sign the papers. She says she hasn’t had a chance for the lawyer to look them over. He says he gave her 24-hours. Ooh, what a prince. She promises to sign them, and he says, nothing is changing. She has something to tell him first. He doesn’t care, but she says the baby’s not Randal’s. Brad laughs, and asks if she expects him to believe that. She thinks it might be his, and he says she’s out of her mind. There’s no way it’s his baby. Alex says the doctor told her sometimes genes skip a generation. He says there’s no one of that ethnicity in his family, and she asks if he’s sure. He wonders what kind of game she’s playing. She ask him to please double-check, and he says she’s insane. She better be there tonight to sign the papers. He hangs up, and Marcie asks what that was about. He tells her Alex says he’s the father. The DNA test said Randal isn’t the father. Marcie thought the results were switched, and Brad says he just wants the divorce. She’s out of her mind. He just wants to be free. Marcie says they’re almost there.
There’s a knock on Alex’s door. It’s Ian, who asks if he can come in. He promises whatever happened, it won’t happen again. He was drunk, and he’s very sorry. She lets him in. He tells her that Brad is pretty much taking everything. She gets the house, 50% of his income, and joint custody for two of the kids. He can get her more, but she says she only wants what’s fair, and Brad is being fair. Ian says, he’s only providing for two of the kids, and she says, it’s fine. She’ll sign. He says if she changes her mind, let him know, He’s really sorry, and asks her to please forgive him. He leaves, and she sits down.
Natalie gets the mail. Ben is driving by, and says, hi. She says she needed talk to him. He asks, whathappened? and she says, nothing. His wife was saying Randal was looking into their house, and she was on her way to the store and saw him. He was looking with binoculars, and she wanted to let him know. He thanks her, and she says maybe they could close the curtains. He says his wife likes the light, but he’ll talk to Randal. Natalie doesn’t think that will do any good, but Ben says he can be convincing. She says she’s never known anyone who can stop Randal, and Ben says she’s never met him. She says, no, she hasn’t. She offers to get Lushion, but he says he’ll handle it, and thanks her.
Ben asks Tanya how she is, and sees the painting of Randal at the window. Ben says, it’s beautiful, and she says she’s been working on it all day. He asks what it’s about, and she says he’s just looking at the girl across the street. Ben asks if this really happened, and she says, no. He asks why the man is naked, and she says, he just is. She tells him that she made dinner. He looks beyond annoyed, and says he forgot something in the car. He leaves, picking up a spray can of paint on his way out the door.
Ben bangs on Randal’s door. There’s no answer, so he goes around the back, and kicks that door in. He grabs a bat, and goes absolutely apesh*t on the house. Throwing things out of the drawers, ripping up artwork, taking the bat to whatever is on the counters and tables, smashing things, and turning over furniture. There go a couple of glass tables. On the wall, he paints, bitch, next time I burn this down 😊 Smiley included.
At the meeting, Alex says Dr. Raston didn’t switch the tests. It was totally her. She lied to cover up something she did. The judge asks if she’d testify to that in court, and she says, yes. The doctor says, she also signed an affidavit. The judge says he’s heard enough; bring in Randal. Alex freaks, and Dr. Raston says he had to be a part of it. Larry comes in with Randal, and Randal says he’s going to fry this bitch for his pain and suffering. The judge says the board is satisfied that Dr. Raston did nothing inappropriate. He asks who the hell switched it, and Alex says they weren’t switched. Alex asks the doctor to explain it to him. The doctor says there were three remaining samples. No one switched the DNA. Randal asks, whatwent wrong? and she says there’s no way he can be the child’s biological father. Randal laughs, and says that’s why he’s suing the hell out of this place – for lying. Dr. Raston says he’s welcome to take the child to his own lab, and Larry asks to see the results. He looks over the paperwork, and Randal says, it’s his kid. Larry says he never saw a hospital put themselves under this much scrutiny. These tests are legit. He knows the hospital’s reputation. He asks if Alex would like to share., Randal goes cross-eyed, and guesses it’s not his baby. He says, okay, so she was cheating on him. He laughs, and says she’d do this to him. He starts getting manic, and Larry pulls him toward the door. He yell, this is my kid, and laughs some more. Larry pushes him out.
Esperanza calls Larry. She really wants the papers filed. He’s in his car, and says the office can file for her, but he needs to be present when she signs. She asks when Eddie will be served, and he says, today. He wants to make it easy for her. She asks if they can prepare them and shell call when she wants him to be served, but Larry thinks it’s a good time now. There’s a knock at door, and Steven comes in. She tells him that she didn’t want to talk at the station. She’s about to do something that could ruin Eddie. He’ll be mad as hell. She’s going to take full custody, and take his job away. He’s not going to take it well. Steven asks if she’s afraid of him, and she says, no. It’s how he’s going to act and react when he loses his job. Steven says it’s not her problem, but she says his job all Eddie has. Steven says, the guy is horrible, and she asks if she can count on him. He asks if she’s scared of Eddie, and she admits she is, a little. He’s going to flip out. Steven asks if Eddie has hit her, but she says, no. She just wants to know that Steven has her back. She asks if he’ll come with her to the courthouse, and he says, let’s go. She hugs him, and he says she’s shaking. She says, it never gets easier, and he says, that’s going to change.
Ben watches as Randal pulls in. Randal’s phone rings, and he asks what the hell they want. It’s Marcie, who says she heard it’s not his baby. How does it feel? She guesses he can’t make a baby either. Howdoes it feel to lose every hope? He calls her an evil bitch, and she says, he’s the evil one. He’s the devil. Who was that whore sleeping with? He says she thinks it’s funny, and she says, yes. He has to live next door to her. It looks like now, neither one of them have kids. He says he just got started, and she says, her too. He hangs up, and goes inside.
As soon as Randal walks in, he starts yelling. He screams, Alex! although why he assumes it’s her and not Marcie, I have on idea. He paces around saying, are you serious? Stupid bitch! He says, okay. All right,bitch. He laughs, and says, you’re done. he paces some more, and storms out. Ben watches as Randal gets in his car.
Ian gives Larry some papers. Larry says Ian wouldn’t believe the day he’s having. Randal found out Alex’s kid isn’t his. Ian says, they had a kid? Larry says, so he thought. Today Randal found out that’s not the case, and he’s going crazy. Larry asks, what’s going on? and Ian thinks they have a problem. He thinks some officers are on to the settlement with the women in the church. Larry asks if Ian said anything, but Ian says, no. Lushion has been asking him to help Kelly out. Naturally, he said no, and Lushion said they’d found something. Lushion thinks he’s on their side, and he thinks he should play it in the middle. Larry says it’s hard to believe the loyalty is there if he is in the middle. He tells Ian, stay on top of it. Otherwise, it’s his ass. Ian says he’s all over it.
Lushion comes home, and tells Natalie that Ian and the kid lawyer are coming over. She needs to tell him something. Randal has been staring at the woman across the street with binoculars. There’s a knock at the door, and she says she’ll let him handle it. Ian comes in with Carl. Lushion tells Carl that he wants him to rep Kelly. Carl thought he didn’t want that, but Lushion says he changed his mind. Carl asks, whatabout Ian, but Ian says he can’t; there’s a conflict. Carl is going to walk into the DA’s office, lay out the evidence against Travis, and convince them to drop the charges. Carl says the DA is tough, but Ian says he’s tougher. He’ll give Carl all of his notes. Just pay close attention. Lushion tells him, just breathe. Ian says someone gave him a shot; now it’s Carl’s turn. They shake hands, and Carl leaves.
Lushion asks if Ian thinks he’ll be okay. Ian says, he’ll be fine. It’s textbook. The DA is a bulldog, but he’ll be fine. There’s a knock at the door, and this time it’s Brad, his lawyer, and Alex. They need a witness. Natalie tells Lushion that she said she would. Lushion didn’t know this was happening there. Alex signs, Natalie signs, and Brad gives the papers to his lawyer. He tells Alex, now she’s free to screw anyone she wants to. Randal or a random guy on the street. Don’t say that’s his kid again. She says he should take the DNA test, but he says he’s not doing a damn thing. He leaves, and Natalie says she’s sorry. Alex says she’s got to go, and Natalie promises to check on her later. Ian says he’ll see them later, and Lushion says he hopes it works. Ian says, it will be fine.
Alex cries on the way home, Ian runs after her. He asks how many men there were, and she says, excuseme? He asks how many men she slept with. She says, go to hell, and he says he knows it was her. He looked at all the profiles he got with a screen grab. It was her. He shows Alex her profile picture on his phone, and says, Jennifer. Is there any chance the baby could be his?
This was the finale. I think we’re going directly to The Haves and The Have Nots next week.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Sonny makes lasagna, telling Jason that he cooks for Carly when he can. Sam comes in, and Sonny says he thought she was at DOD. She says she’s on her way, but wanted to stop there first. She heard the session with Kristina didn’t go well. Her mom said Sonny thought they were getting through, but then Kristina shut down. Sonny says, Shiloh did a number on Kristina. He asks if Sam found out where he keeps the Pledges. She says she’s getting there, and Sonny says they need her help to get Kristina’s Pledge back.
There’s a knock at the DOD door. Shiloh answers, saying they don’t have to knock. The door is always open. He introduces himself, and the man at the door says he’s Mark Turner. He walks in on incredibly loud shoes, and Shiloh asks what led him to them. Mark wonders where he begins. The theme from LoveStory plays in my head.
Curtis phones Jordan to see how she’s doing. She says, good, adding that dialysis is just a small part of her life. Curtis says it’s vital to her existence, and she asks if he called to remind her. He says he called because he misses her. She says she misses him too, but she can survive a few days without him. He says she’s shattered his illusion, and she asks if he’s getting anywhere. He says the pharmacy break-in is a hot topic with local gossip, especially among the junkies. He found a user who might have something. A dude who looks like Jesus shows up, but says his name is Timmy. Curtis hands him breakfast.
Lucy sees Jordan, and tells her that a lot folks are still talking about Curtis’s big proposal at last year’s Nurses’ Ball. She’s wondering if he’ll perform his magic again this year. Jordan says he’s out of town, but she’ll check with him. Lucy wonders what about a magic act together? Franco approaches, saying he has an idea for a Nurses’ Ball number; it’s a duet. Lucy says, that’s sweet, but it might be dicey. Not that he isn’t talented, but it’s the whole murder confession thing. Jordan says he was an invaluable help to the PCPD, and without him, they might not have realized Doc was really Ryan.
At the cemetery, Lulu tells Laura that she pitched the exclusive interview with Ava to Peter, and he gave her the green light. Laura says, Ryan will definitely be following the Port Charles news. Lulu says first, they have to put Ava and Kevin together, and post it on the internet. Is Laura sure she’s ready for this? Laura says, let’s get it done, her new catch phrase. At the cemetery entrance, Felicia tells Mac this is a group effort, and they need him on the team. Mac says, after all she’s been through, she’s still committed? She says Ryan isn’t getting the jump on them this time. When he comes back, they’ll be ready. Ava arrives, and asks if everything is in place, and where the guest of honor is. Doc says, right here. Let’s give my brother the memorial he deserves.
Sam thinks Spinelli might be the right choice, but Jason says he was already involved, and someone might recognize him. Sonny tells her, if there’s any trouble, get the hell out. They also need to tell Kristina that what she said doesn’t matter; nothing can hurt him. Sam says she needs to get into the records, and has to go. Jason tells her, be careful, and Sonny says, good luck. She leaves, and Jason asks if there was any fallout after Kristina used the phone. Sonny says she eventually calmed down, and is with Neil. Jason says if anyone was looking for Kristina, they would have heard by now.
Mark says it was like Shiloh was speaking to him, and reads from Shiloh’s book. If you can’t find love outside of yourself, search inside. That’s why he’s there; Shiloh changed his life. Shiloh asks how he learned about them, and he says he saw Shiloh speak at the plaza. He was convinced when he saw how they reached out to the homeless, and he bought the book. He’s hoping he can learn to search inside too. Shiloh says, it’s an honorable goal. He wonders why Mark went to the seminar, and Mark says he told himself he wasn’t going to do this. Shiloh tells Mark, give the pain to him. Mark says his girlfriend left him. She said he was too clingy and dependent, with no job and no life of his own, and she’s right. He just wants to make people happy. Can Shiloh help him? Shiloh believes they can.
Jordan sees Margaux, and says despite the joint statement, Franco is still getting blowback of his false confession. Lucy asks Margaux if she has any special talents, and Margaux says she’s good at putting criminals away, but Lucy says she’s asking if Margaux sings, or does magic, or that aerial thing with silks. Margaux says she did synchronized swimming in college, and Lucy says she’ll get back to her on that. Ta! Jordan explains the Nurses’ Ball to Margaux. Margaux says she’s heading to the station, and says they can talk about whether another joint statement is necessary on the way. Jordan says she’s having coffee with her son. Margaux says, no offense, but Jordan doesn’t look good. Jordan jokes about forgetting to put on blush, and Margaux asks if she’s sure she’s okay. Chase and Valerie approach, and Valerie says they want to open an investigation. Chase tells them that Kristina has disappeared.
Felicia tells Laura that Doc loves her, and only her. Laura doesn’t like the situation, but she can do it. Ava says Ryan will lose what’s left of his mind when he sees her with Doc. Mac reminds them, crazy isn’tstupid. Ryan is never more dangerous than when his ego is bruised. Doc says this time; they have the upper hand. When he sees they’ve declared him dead, Ryan will think he’s in the clear, and return. Lulu says it will be covered by The Invader. She’s putting it up on the website, and guarantees it will be trending in no time.
Laura says there’s been evidence of a pharmacy break-in in the Niagara Falls Area. Drugs were taken that are the same ones you’d need if you lost a limb. Ava says, there are also the calls. It’s just breathing, but she’s sure it’s Ryan. Laura says the authorities have closed the case, but that doesn’t mean a PI can’t continue it. Curtis is up in Canada investigating the break-in. Doc says, until then, they have their own work to do.
Curtis tells Timmy that he just want information about the break-in at the pharmacy. Does he know about it? Timmy asks what’s in it for him, besides breakfast?
Jordan says she hasn’t heard anything about Kristina being missing. How long has it been? Chase says, more than 48-hours. Jordan suggests she took off; it’s not unheard of. Valerie says, except Kristina called her from a blocked number asking for help. That’s all she got out when the line went dead. If she called Valerie, Kristina must be in real trouble. They’ve been on the outs since Valerie criticized her friends. Jordan asks if Kristina is in with a bad crowd, and Chase says, yeah. Jordan asks where Kristina was last seen, and Chase says, she was at the DOD house.
Mark tells Shiloh that he wants to take as many classes as he can. Shiloh says Mark mentioned he didn’t have a job, and the class fees are on a sliding scale. Mark says his situation is just the opposite. His parents died in a car crash; the brakes were defective, and there was money from the car company. He’s an only child, so he got it all, but he’d give up everything to have his parents back, or if Gillian hadn’t left. In his book, Shiloh says perfect comfort is found in untold sacrifice. He thinks Shiloh can help him. Shiloh hopes so. Sam comes in, and Shiloh introduces their newest seeker, saying, he’s there for the introductory class. Sam hopes Mark gets as much out of it as she did. Mark asks if Shiloh will be there, adding he’s probably too busy. Shiloh says he enjoys watching new people find their path. He tells Mark to go in the back, where the other members are, and asks Sam if she’s heard from Kristina. Sam says their mom spoke to Kristina, and she’s still working things out. Shiloh hates that Kristina’s doubts got the better of her, but Sam says she’ll come back home after a while. Shiloh hopes it’s before Sam joins the Trust, and Sam says she was hoping the same thing. That’s why she’s there.
Neil comes by Sonny’s place. Sonny tells Neil coking relaxes him and helps him think. Neil says Kristina told him at length how she doesn’t blame Shiloh for her getting kidnapped. She kind of implied Jason is hard to catch. On one hand, she respects him, but on the other, she’s angry for him taking away the thing she wants. Jason asks if she still doesn’t know what would have happened, and Neil says she’ll only shut down. When she’s not isolating herself, she’s been playing board games with Max. They seem to have a good rapport. Sonny says, she’s known Max her whole life. Neil tells them that Kristina said she might be ready for another family meeting soon. He didn’t change her mind; Alexis did. Kristina witnessed Alexis breaking down. She saw Alexis’s distress, and is starting to realize they’re motivated by love. Sonny says, she’s got that right. Neil says he’s discovering that Kristina is a unique and intelligent woman. Underneath Shiloh’s dogma, she’s vibrant. Sonny asks if she mentioned anything about the Pledge she gave Shiloh.
Neil says she didn’t mention anything, but he doesn’t expect her to. Sonny says he thought they were starting to get through, and Neil says they’ve made inroads, but still have a long way to go. The closer Kristina gets to reclaiming herself, the worse she’s going to feel about the Pledge, especially if it incriminates Sonny. Sonny says, that’s impossible, and Jason says, Kristina doesn’t know about the business. Maybe she exaggerated or lied, but there’s no proof; nothing that can be takes to the cops. Sonny says, the worst that can happen is an investigation will be opened, but it won’t go anywhere. He thinks that should be explained to Kristina, but Neil asks, what if he’s wrong?
Sam tells Shiloh that she was going to suggest they go upstairs, but he has new seekers. He can’t abandon them, or they’ll be disappointed. He’ll see her afterward.
Jordan says DOD was on their on radar until Jason got picked up. Chase says Michael was worried about Kristina’s well-being. She was about to take a big step, having been chosen for some honor. Jordan asks what he means, and he says the group is secretive. Margaux says Jason was released because Shiloh insisted they let him go. She ask if Chase is sure Kristina’s family doesn’t know where she is.
Sam sneaks upstairs to Shiloh’s office, which seems pretty easy to get in with a bobby pin, so they’re not all that good at being secretive. She sees the files are color-coded, and says, why make it easy? She flips through the file folders, looks through one, shakes her head, and puts it back. She finds her own folder, and takes it out.
Timmy tells Curtis, breakfast is good, but Curtis has to make it worth his while if he wants Timmy to talk about the pharmacy job. Curtis guesses there’s no chance he’d do it to save people’s lives. Did he have anything to do with it? Timmy says someone wanted to hire him, but he turned them down. Curtis asks. what about the drugs that were stolen? He gets why someone would steal painkillers, but what about the other stuff? Was he keeping it for himself? Timmy says he didn’t do it. Curtis tells him, talk first; then he gets the money. Maybe he can give Curtis a theory. He hands Timmy a bill, and Timmy says he was given a list. Curtis hands him another bill, asking who the person was who gave him the list.
Franco shows up at the cemetery. He says when Ava said this was happening, he didn’t believe it. Why give that evil bastard a ceremony? Doc says, closure, and Ava says, to end the nightmare for good. Franco says at least she’s given up on her ridiculous idea of luring him out of hiding. Laura says, goodriddance. Doc says he wishes he’d healed Ryan, and they’d grown older together, like twins should. He was given the greater gift; intelligence and sanity, but failed Ryan. He had hoped Ryan could find peace, but maybe in death he’ll be healed; conquer his demons and find peace. Franco hopes he rots in hell, and from high above, Kiki gets to watch. Lulu films everything.
Laura says her daughter was stronger and smarter than Ryan. Her life is beginning, and his is over, thank God. He lost and they won. Felicia says Lulu beat him, and you know who else beat him. Her and Mac. All those times he said he was smarter than they were; who’s smarter now?He gave himself the punishment he deserves. They all step on the dirt. Ava says, Franco is right. He deserves to rot in hell for eternity, but her beautiful girl isn’t looking down on him. Heaven is filled with good things, and there’s no room for his memory. Kiki has forgotten him already. Like she will, as he deserves to be forgotten. Doc says amen. He puts his arm around Ava, and holds her. Franco is like, hmm… Lulu continues to film.
Curtis asks who hired Timmy. He says they didn’t have a business card. Curtis says they must have been in trouble, or injured. Give him something. Timmy says, it was a woman.
Jordan asks Valerie if she followed up, and Valerie says she went to the DOD house. Shiloh claimed he doesn’t know where Kristina is. Sam claims not to know either. Jordan asks if Sam seemed concerned, but Valerie tells her that Sam said Kristina was off somewhere to clear her head, and that Alexis had heard from her, but then why would she call asking for help? Margaux wonders if Alexis knows where she is. Chase thinks something is off, and people know more than they’re saying.
Neil says Kristina’s greatest asset is also her greatest liability. She knows her family loves her, and is acting in her best interest. If they confront her about the Pledge, and she admits she betrayed someone she loves, it will hurt her self-worth. The only thing worse, is if the person she betrayed is arrested and tried, causing lasting hurt. Sonny says, the chances are next to nothing, and Neil asks if he’s willing to bet Kristina’s future on next to nothing. Sonny says, no, and Neil tells him, don’t ask about the Pledge.
Sam goes through her own folder, and I tell her to stop lollygagging. Under her picture, it says, despite commitment issues, she’s likely worthy of the DOD Trust. She says, that’s right, Shiloh. Tell her his secrets so she can take him down. She sees a photo of when she was blindfolded, with Shiloh looking at her.
Sonny wonders if Kristina said anything about the phone call, but Neil says she only told him that she’d called a friend. Sonny asks if it was Shiloh or someone else from DOD. Neil tells Sonny, Kristina said it was someone she knew before DOD. Someone she had to cut ties with because of DOD.Her confession was full of regret. Jason says, Valerie Spencer, and Sonny says, that makes sense. Neil says Alexis heard her ask for help, but she didn’t have time to explain before they took the phone. If her friend suspects she’s being held against her will, they could call the police. Sonny says, the problem is, that Valerie is the police.She’s a detective with the PCPD.
Mark walks back into the living room with Shiloh. He says it seems so clear when Shiloh speaks. He’d like to hear more about cutting out negative people, and Shiloh says they can plan a course of study. Mark wonders where to start, and Shiloh says, the classes aren’t sequential. He can start where he wants. Mark also wants to volunteer. Can Shiloh show him online, or does he have an app? Shiloh says they don’t really post about those things. Mark bumps into another member, sending the books in his hands flying. Mark helps pick everything up. Shiloh asks the guy if he’s seen Sam. He has some new reading material for her from the library. The guy says he hasn’t, and Shiloh apologizes to Mark, saying he has to go. Mark asks if he can have a tour; he didn’t know there was a library. Shiloh suggests Mark stay for dinner, and afterwards, he’ll give Mark the grand tour. Shiloh extracts himself, and Mark sends a text. Upstairs, Sam looks on the back of the photo, and it says, it will be interesting to see what secrets she pledges. She takes out her phone, and reads a text that says, Shiloh looking for you. Get out now. I suspected Mark was working for her when he wouldn’t let Shiloh leave the room.
Jordan asks if Chase thinks Kristina’s family is involved, but Chase says, it’s so murky, he can’t tell. She hasn’t answered her phone in days. Margaux says she called Valerie, and Valerie says, it sounded like she got caught. She could be in danger. Jordan thinks they should open an investigation, but Margaux disagrees. Why waste time and resources?Alexis claims Kristina is away taking a breather. There’s no reason for an investigation. Maybe the call to Valerie was a prank. She said they weren’t on good terms. There’s no reason to waste resources on a non-event. Chase wonders who she’s protecting – Sonny or Shiloh.
At the MetroCourt, Ava says she needs a drink. Lulu says she uploaded the film, and it’s definitely click bait. It’s already been picked up and posted elsewhere. Laura hates to leave the party, but has mayoral duties. Franco sees Ava at the small bar, and asks what’s going on with her and Doc. Ava calls Doc over, and Franco asks if she can’t talk to him unless this guy is there. Ava says he may as well know. She went to see Doc to help her find closure. At first, she was in denial, blaming Doc for Ryan’s crimes, but as they talked, they felt a connection. They were both betrayed, and understand each other’s shame and grief. Doc is everything Ryan pretended to be. Doc says Ryan stole his life, and ruined Ava’s. They need to be with someone who understands. Lucy walks in, and says he has to be Ryan. Her Doc would never touch the likes of Ava. Doc says it’s really him, and Lucy asks what he’s doing. He says, comforting a kindred spirit. Lucy says the last time she saw him, they were honoring Gail, and she delivered him to Laura. Doc says he hurt Laura too much. Felicia and Mac join them, and Lucy says Doc is talking and saying things, but he’s not making any sense. Felicia says, it’s okay, but Lucy says, it’s so not okay. Lulu says, there’s nothing that can be done, and Lucy says, the hell there isn’t.
Neil tells Sonny, if the police get involved, there could be severe ramifications. Sonny says, Valerie and the PCPD can look until hell freezes over, but they won’t find Kristina. Jason says they’ve had a lot of experience. Neil tells them, exit therapy is not an exact science. If it doesn’t work, and Kristina turns them over to the police, it could be a catastrophe.
Sam leaves Shiloh’s office. Shiloh sees her, and asks what she’s doing there.
Margaux says Chase is out of line. Valerie tells Chase, let’s go. They gave it their best shot. They leave, and Margaux asks if Jordan is ready to go or is Jordan going to question her judgement too? Jordan says she’s still going to see her son. Margaux leaves, and Jordan hopes Curtis is getting somewhere. She leans on the wall, and starts to call him, but the phone drops out of her hand, and then she drops to the floor.
In the elevator, Chase tells Valerie they can forget about the DA and do an investigation without approval. Valerie is in.
Curtis asks Timmy if the women left a name or said why she wanted the drugs. Timmy says he has to go. Curtis says he has a hundred dollars total, if Timmy coughs up the name of the woman who wanted him to boost the drugs.
Lucy tells Doc that when the truth was revealed that Doc unleashed Ryan, she was the only one who stood up for him. She even gave him a place to live. Doc understands and appreciates it, but asks her to please trust him; he knows what he’s doing. Lucy says, not from where she’s standing. She’s talked to his neighbors, and he hasn’t even been home for the past few nights. Don’t tell her… She looks at Doc and Ava, and tells him, consider himself evicted. He can find a bed on the street. He’ll be so tired of Ava. By the time the Nurses’ Ball rolls around, he’ll be heartbroken and friendless. Felicia tells her that they need to talk about it, but Lucy says, apparently, there’s nothing left to say, and leaves in tears. Franco asks if Ava is okay, and Ava says she’s fine. Franco says, from where he’s siting, she doesn’t seem all right. He leaves, and Mac says that Ava is good at playing her roll. Lulu says the video is trending, and Mac says, itworked. Felicia says they need to hope against hope that it got Ryan’s attention. Ava’s phone rings.
Tomorrow, Finn asks Elizabeth if she’s heard from Hayden, Neil says they have another complication, and Stella finds Jordan.
Vanderpump Rules
The theme of the engagement party is enchanted forest. Brittany is thrilled at how the venue looks. Jax signs the last of the checks. In his interview, he says, it’s a solid wedding, never mind an engagement party, but this is the new Jax. He rolls with the punches. He tells Brittany that she’s worth it. She goes to change.
Tom is figuring out what he’s wearing. He tells Ariana that he’s toying with wearing a hat. Ariana doesn’t think he should upstage the groom. He says it’s a constant challenge.
Lala decides to wear a headpiece. She wanted to wear a crown, because she has to let bitches know what’s up. Whatever that means. She’s queen?
Stassi tells Beau that she can’t believe they’re going to Jax’s engagement party. Jax is still an a-hole, but doesn’t take out on Brittany or them anymore. Beau can’t open a bottle, and Stassi asks him to give it to her. He’s skeptical, but she opens it easily. She asks, who’s your daddy?
Schwartz tells Katie that he wants to wear a TomTom onesie. He can’t picture Katie pregnant. He thinks she’ll be a monster of a human. I think it could go either way.
Lala says she’s going to continue not drinking. She tries to be a good human, but takes all her downfalls out on Rand. Scheana says Adam won’t speak to her because she went on a date. Lala think if he doesn’t want that happening, he should do something about it. She says Scheana always gives it her all, and they end up walking on her. Scheana starts crying, and Kristen says she’s not pregnant, right? That’s a no. She tells the girls that Adam loves penguins, and she found out you can adopt one from the aquarium. I’m laughing because she probably thinks you’re actually adopting it like you would a child or a pet. She says if Adam is still mad at her after she got him an effing penguin, they’re done. I’m with you, Scheana.
Stassi tells Beau that she’s trying be conscious of everything; recognizing the moments she can go off. She had her birthday freak-out. Unfortunately, but it happened. We flash back to her calling Beau incessantly, then slamming the phone on the floor. After that, her mom told her that she was the problem, and she was lucky to have him. Beau says it was awful and unacceptable. She saw a freaking witch, and she’s never tried to better herself before.
Ariana tells Tom that she’s thinking of talking to Lisa at the party. Because in the reality TV world, the best time to bring up your personal beefs is at someone else’s event. Preferably someone who’s totally unrelated to the problem. Ariana says she’s known Lisa for eight years. There’s no reason not to be able to speak respectfully and honestly about something that’s bothering her. In Ariana’s interview, she says Lisa encouraged the Toms to go to Mexico, then publicly shamed them. Exaggerate much? Tom says a huge falling out would suck and affect things, but Ariana says it would only one person’s fault, because she’ll be respectful.
James sees therapist Anita. He tells her that he’s trying his best to keep his temper. He was controlled, and when there was a group vacation to Mexico, he didn’t take the news well that he wasn’t invited. He blew up at the hosts of the trip. We flash back to that. He doesn’t understand the mentality of being angry and not doing anything about it. She asks about his drinking, and he says he’s only had a couple of beers here and there. I laugh because in the old People’s Court shows with Judge Wapner, any time someone said they just had a couple of beers, the judge would look at Bailiff Rusty and practically roll his eyes, knowing it was probably more like a six-pack. James insists he hasn’t gotten drunk, and has only had two at the most. He’s more comfortable doing that, than going a party and being the sober guy. He thinks he’s more charismatic when he drinks, and doesn’t think he’d be that person without it. He tells her that Lisa says he’s full of self-doubt. In his interview, he says he thinks too much when he’s sober. He’s twenty-six; he can make his own decisions. Anita suggests he focus on what he should do for himself, not what he can do for others. He says not caring what they think is impossible. She tells him, the more power he gives to how people look at him, the worse he starts to feel he’s not good enough. He says he wishes he’d said different things at different moments. Then life would be different. Ha! Don’t we all wish that, and yes it would. A real Confucius, that James.
Scheana says they’re not only going to celebrate Brittany and Jax, but to party. They get on a party bus, and Lala asks if there’s a stripper pole. Of course there is. Brittany says they have Kentucky in the building. Tom goofs around on the pole. In Tom’s interview, he says if things ever went south with TomTom he has to have something to fall back on. Right now, he’s falling back on the pole. Jax sees a video, and he’s jealous he’s not on the bus. Brittany notes Lala’s headpiece, and says everyone is on theme. She hopes Lala isn’t upset that she’s not a bridesmaid. In Brittany’s interview, she says she can’t have twenty bridesmaids, and hopes Lala doesn’t kick her ass. We flash back to Lala yelling at James. Brittany doesn’t want anyone to feel sad or left out it. It makes her feel guilty inside.
Scheana hates the tension between her and Adam. She wants to make it better, but he won’t even make eye contact.
Jax says Brittany looks beautiful. I do too, but I’m surprised she isn’t more on theme. Brittany thinks the place looks amazing. In her interview, she says she’s living the fairytale dream. Lisa and Ken arrive. Giggy! Jax says they only have beer and wine. There are certain people he doesn’t trust with tequila. He’s one of them.
Scheana says, depending on how tonight goes with Adam, she might Uber home. She tells the girls that Ethan wanted to make her dinner. He did, and two bottles of wine later, went downtown for a half hour. It doesn’t necessarily lead to a home run. Then she says, Adam won’t do it, it’s not his thing, and we all go, what? I’m not getting this at all. He won’t commit; says she can date others, but gets mad when she does; and he’s not satisfying her sexually. Oh yeah, sign me up. Scheana is not the brightest bulb in the box, but she deserves better. She consistently picks guys who are unavailable in one way or another.
The bus arrives. Jax and Brittany pose by the flower wall. Brittany hugs mamaw. Tom opens champagne with a knife. Brittany’s father tells Lisa that when Brittany first came out there, Lisa was like a mom. He didn’t have to be so concerned about her safety. Lisa’s concern for Brittany’s welfare made it better. Lia says Brittany is a lovely girl. She’s happy to be there for Brittany, and watch her grow. Don asks if Jax asks if Jax has really changed, and Lisa thinks he has. He has Brittany by his side, and it’s made a difference. In Lisa’s interview, she says she doesn’t know if it will last, but Brittany is the best thing that’s happened to Jax. That’s the only thing they all agree on. Don says, every man needs a good woman, and Lisa says, hopefully only one. She keeps telling her husband that. Jax introduces sister Jenny to Lisa, and they show her their tattoos.
Brittany says she has a permanent smile, and tells Lala that she didn’t want her to feel left out. Lala says this is Brittany’s day, and she should have whoever she wants. She has an engagement gift; it’s from her and Rand. She gives Brittany an envelope, and inside she finds a voucher for a trip to Cabo on the private jet. In her interview, Brittany doesn’t know what’s worse. That she had to talk to Lala about not being a bridesmaid or that Lala rewarded her for that with the trip of a lifetime. She feels like a little turd. Lala says just tell her when, and they’ll fuel the jet, and have the best time ever.
Schwartz tells Adam that he can feel the tension. He can put a knife between Adam and Scheana. He asks if the catalyst is Scheana being with another dude. Adam says he asked if she slept with him, and she said yeah. Kristen tells Scheana to be honest and real. Hopefully he will too. Schwartz tells Adam that he doesn’t think it’s a deal breaker. In his interview, Schwartz says in his relationship, he learned, resistance is futile. You have to cave, and make the commitment. Commit to Scheana and see what happens. He laughs, and slaps his knee. Adam asks to talk to Scheana.
Adam says he doesn’t know where to start. Scheana says for the last eight months, everyone has been saying they love each other, but he says he doesn’t have feelings for her. He says he doesn’t know if he’s ready. She told him if he dated, she’d be upset. She says he told her that he didn’t care if she dated, as long as it wasn’t someone he knew. Raising his volume like ten notches, he screams they talked at the white party, and she screwed another guy. Lisa comes by, but hangs back from intervening. Schwartz is dancing with Katie, and says he’s going to twirl her so he can access the situation. Scheana asks Adam if he loves her. He looks away, and she tells him, answer the question. He says, no. She was just with another guy all weekend. She says she thought about him the whole time, and he says, thanks for the consideration. That makes it so much better. She says she’s so sorry she did something that made him realize he has feelings for her, but if she hadn’t, would he ever speak up? No. They’d have just kept on doing the same thing. She did it just to see how he felt. He gets up, and she tries to stop him. He says she’s trying to rationalize it, and Scheana says she’s finishing the conversation. She asks him for a hug, and he reluctantly responds. He says, please. He needs to walk away. In her interview, Scheana says, even though they’re not in a relationship, she feels like they literally broke up. Adam can’t jet fast enough.
At SUR, manager Monica sees James has a reservation, and reminds the waitress that he no longer works there. He and Raquel are seated and order. In his interview, James says everyone at the engagement party will be so wasted. He makes fun of them, imitating them drunk. He says he didn’t expect an invite, although he would have gone had he gotten ne. He tells Raquel that he hopes they’re invited to the wedding. Raquel says for that to happen, he’ll have to change his approach with everyone. He says he’s so in love with her, she’s all he wants. She says he doesn’t want to any more cheating accusations. James says, then there’s hope for him. He never cheated on her. I don’t think any of us believe that, and Raquel says, now that they live together, it will be harder to make something up. She’ll be with him every day.
Scheana cries, and shows Kristen the adoption paper for the penguin with Adam’s name on it. Kristen asks if he knows, again, like it’s a real kid. Scheana weeps and shakes her head. Tom takes a drink from Ariana’s flask. Ariana asks if Lisa would like some warm, disgusting tequila, but that’s a hard no. In Ariana’s interview, she says she loves Tom. She doesn’t show her commitment with a wedding, but she’s doing the bravest thing she can possibly do – go to bat for him with Lisa. She tells Lisa that she loves and respects her, but she said something about the Toms not working hard at TomTom. She’s not going to lie; it bummed her out. They would have never gone on the trip if Lisa hadn’t said to go. Lisa says the Toms have a playful relationship, and she’d never want to ruin their friendly banter. Ariana thinks when people see it, they’ll think the Toms are idiots. Lisa says one of the reasons she wanted to work with them was they’re youthful energy and sense of humor. Ariana says they have more to offer than that. She can’t speak for Schwartz, but Tom is probably one of the hardest working people she’s known. We see Tom with the beer bong. She says, especially when it comes to something he loves, and he loves the bar. She doesn’t want people thinking they’re somebody Lisa pulled from the gutter. Omg, now she’s on another planet. Lisa tells her to lighten up. In Lisa’s interview, she says she enjoys teasing the Toms, and they give her good reason and good cause. Their personas aren’t serious. They’re not Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. Lisa tells Ariana, their names are on the building. That says a lot. Ariana wants them to be able to earn the same love and respect they fee for her. She loves and respects Lisa so much. Lisa hopes so, and they hug.
Brittany hugs her dad. Schwartz tells Jax, what a difference a year makes. It’s cliché, but 100% true. Jax says he used to wonder who he needed to be each day. He acted differently with different people, and got to the point where he couldn’t even keep up with what he was telling people. In Tom’s interview, he says Jax’s lies were on a different level. His parents owned 70% of CVS, he was waiting to be a firefighter, his modeling career was taking off, he was roommates with Channing Tatum. Tom says, let’s promise to always be friends, no matter what happens. He appreciates Jax’s dad, but wants to toast to Jax.
James asks Raquel if they’ll get married one day, and she nods. He says he loves her so much. In her interview, Raquel says she sees marriage down the road, and babies. She and James are perfect for each other. Her eyes don’t look like she believes it. She always looks trapped. The waitress tells James, sorry, but no employee discount. He says the meal was expensive, and he needs a shot. I can’t tell if that’s a joke or not, and I don’t think Raquel can either.
Lisa sees Beau, and asks if he’s looking for his princess. He says he was bringing her another drink. Lisa says Stassi seems happy with him. No one ever validated her; they suppressed her. She can see that Beau loves her a lot. He says he does, and Lisa wonders if he’s going to ask Stassi to marry him. He says he is. In her interview, Lisa says he listens to Stassi, and doesn’t try to make her into something she’s not. He nurtures her, cares for her, and loves her more than he does himself. Stassi joins them. Lisa says she and Ken were engaged three months, and they’ve been married for thirty-six years. She says she told Beau he was lucky to have Stassi. Stassi says her mom said she’ll mess it up. We flash back to the horrifying things Stassi’s mother was saying about her – to Beau. In Stassi’s interview, she says she felt herself bringing negativity and insecurity into the relationship, and sabotaging it. She tells Lisa that it makes her want to be combative; like, fine, she’ll do it. Lisa says Stassi is a strong woman, and similar to her. That’s why she’s always had an affinity for Stassi. Her mother’s negativity has nothing do with her . Stassi says both of her parents are on marriage number four. Beau says they’re not their parents. Lisa points out the way they look at each other. Stassi says she loves Beau him so much. Lisa says, it hurts, and Stassi agrees. Lisa promises it will be fine, and tells them to enjoy each day. In Stassi’s interview, she says it reconfirms she’s on the right track. Ken and Lisa are goals. She wants Beau to follow her everywhere, holding one of their dogs. Giggy! Lisa tells them, never prove her wrong.
Scheana wails to mamaw that she wants be happy. In Jax’s interview, he says, the party is amazing, but if he had one complaint it would be that Scheana found some way to make it about herself, because she wants to marry Adam tomorrow. Get your sh*t together. Scheana hugs mamaw, who asks if she wants to come to Kentucky for a few days.
Mamaw tells Schwartz that she never had a beer in her life. He says her beer cheese is awesome. It’s time to cut the cake. Brittany says it’s a practice round, and she and Jax feed each other. Stassi asks Don how proud he is. He says he wants to be on board 100%, and she says he sounds like her dad. She tells him that you have to trust, or it will drive you seriously crazy. In Stassi’s interview, she says she knows Jax has lied, cheated, and duped them all in the past, but this is the first time he’s proposed. She thinks she owes it to them to root for them. She tells Don, as long as Jax makes Brittany happy, technically, that’s all that matters. He says he’d take more comfort in that if he heard it from Jax. We flash back to Jax telling Don that he’ll always be number one. Stassi says if Jax messes up, they’ll crucify him; light him on fire. She’ll take a hot spike, and shove it up his ass. Don laughs. Scheana gets her drink on, and babbles about Adam. She says she did it to see if he cared; now it’s effed up. Jenny asks if Jax is happy, and tells him not to doubt who he is. She’ll always be in his corner, whether he’s a d*ck or the nicest person on earth. In his interview, Jax says his sister has the same qualities their father had. He can’t imagine life without her. She says she still doesn’t trust telling him anything. He says, that will never change. He can’t help himself.
Lisa asks for the mic. She says tonight is the night many of them thought would never happen. Jax has grown up. They’ve surrounded, supported, and loved him. It’s been a challenging year, but life is about obstacles to overcome, and challenges to rise to. With Brittany as his partner, they’ll go a long way. But if he messes with her Kentucky muffin, she’s coming for him.
In Lisa’s interview, she tells us, they say a leopard doesn’t change its spots, but the leopard she married did. If there’s hope for Ken Todd, there might be hope for Jax Taylor.
Brittany thanks everyone, and says they’ve gone through a lot, but have gotten so much support and love from everyone. They’ve never been happier. In Brittany’s interview, she says she knows people had doubts, but she sees their family and friends there, supporting him. They all love her and Jax. She tells the guests that she loves Jax more than anyone in the world. She’ll never give up on him. In her interview, she says the hell with people’s opinions. She believes they’ll get their happily ever after. In Jax’s interview, he says he doesn’t care what people think. He knows how much wants this, and loves her. It just fuels his fire to prove them wrong. Brittany says, everybody dance!
Tom tells Lisa that he needs her for something very important. She says, whatever it is, she’s not doing it. He shows her the beer bong, and she asks why she’d want do that. He says it fulfills the partnership. He and Schwartz have created a special bedazzled funnel with LVP on it. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it cements a partnership by funneling a beer. In Lisa’s interview, she says she never drank much beer, and never did a beer bong, but… she never turns down a dare. She bongs the beer, Tom yells, thequeen! everyone cheers, and Lisa bows. In her interview, she says, and that’s the way you leave a party. Good night. She tells Ken, it was disgusting, burps, and says, sorry.
Next time – the Reunion – James is in shambles, Billie and Lala go at it again, Beau says watching the pilot scared him, Andy asks how Lisa is coping and she needs a moment, Lala says Raquel comes to her when it’s feeding time and expects not to get feasted on, James calls Brittany’s family a bunch of hillbillies, which doesn’t go over real big. Note to James: this is not how you get invited to the wedding.
I hope it works for Brittany and Jax. I’ll probably never like Jax, but it doesn’t matter. Brittany loves him, and I like her. I hope she gets her fairytale ending.
👑 Cue Game of Thrones title theme. It was time for the big battle, between the dead and everyone except Cersei. Besides doing a lot of staring at people, the Red Woman said some magic words, and the Dothraki suddenly got swords of flame. This made for great cinematography, but sadly, they fell into a trap. After that, everything was so dark throughout the entire battle, it was hard to see what was going on. I thought it was my TV until I read another blog post on it specifically (see below).
Edd got killed defending Sam, and Sam ran. Tyrion almost made Sansa smile, and it seemed like she actually mulled over them getting back together for a moment when he joked about it. I made noises when the Night King swooped down on zombie Viserian, and I also said, do something red lady! There was a giant zombie or a zombie giant that Lyanna ended up killing by stabbing in the eye, but she got squashed for her trouble, while the Hound took notes. Good thing Arya learned to move like a cat from that Zen/sword master, because she needed that skill to hide from meandering zombies later. Beric and the Hound teamed up, after the Hound just got done saying they were doomed no matter what. They ended up saving Arya, who crashed through a wall along with several zombies. Beric was a goner, but the Hound dragged them both away. Then the Red Woman finally showed up, yapping about purpose. Zombie dragon had a fight with Jon’s dragon, and Dany’s dragon incinerated the Night King, but he turned out to be like Yul Brynner in Westworld, because he just stood there laughing. Well, he had the same expression he always has, but he wasn’t even singed. Jon stupidly followed him, and the Night King raised his army back up from the dead, along with everyone who had just died. It was like, are we going to have to do this all over again? And what good is Bran if he just sees stuff, and can’t do anything about it? The whole thing was just a mess. Ser Jorah saved Dany, but paid with his life. Jon Snow had enough, and extracted himself from the Night King’s minons, walloping everyone in his wake. The Night King had bigger fish to fry, heading for Bran. Theon was a big hero, saving Bran’s life for a millisecond at the expense of his own, but again, why? As the Night King stood in front of Bran, Arya flew out of nowhere and stabbed him with the dragon glass dagger. He shattered, and so did all the other Wights. Once again, who’s gonna clean up that mess? The Red Woman said, forget this, tossed her necklace, turned into a naked old lady, and dissolved. It was relentless and amazing, and IMO the best part was the shock of the recently dead rising.
This show is literally awesome. I find myself sitting with my mouth hanging open. I felt the same way about the books. The genre isn’t even my thing, but I was hooked from the first page.
Best quotes:
Jon: The Night King is coming. * Dany: The dead are already here.
Sansa (after Arya hands her a dagger): I don’t know how to use it. * Arya: Stick them with the pointy end.
👓 A Few Viewpoints…
Glad it wasn’t just me. Other people noted the darkness as well.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Michael tells Kristina that he wants to be there for her, and asks her to come home with him. She says he doesn’t understand. She made a promise, and can never go back home. Alexis says, that’s not true; she’s stronger than she thinks. Kristina says Alexis thinks it’s so simple. She can just turn her back on DOD, and everything would be okay. Sonny asks why she can’t break away. Is Shiloh holding something over her?
Sam tells Shiloh that she’s ready to take the next step in her commitment to DOD. She wants to prove that her faith in him is as strong as his faith in her. He says, it’s almost time. Soon, she’ll take her place with him among the Trust. She asks what the Trust is, and he says his inner circle. The true part of DOD.
Chase goes into to Kelly’s with nuValerie. He sees Willow, and Valerie asks if he wants to order. He says he’ll have whatever. Valerie rolls her eyes, and goes to the counter. He tells Willow that he and Valerie are on the clock, but he missed her last night. What was she up to? Apparently getting a new hair color and cut.
At the hospital, Molly tells TJ that her sister is caught up in cult, and all she feels is dread. Curtis approaches with a quick question for the doc-to-be. He asks about a medication, and TJ says it’s an antibiotic. He asks about another one, and TJ says it’s an anticoagulant, and asks if someone lost a limb.
Laura goes to The Floating Rib. Felicia thanks her for coming. She thinks they need to clear the air Laura wasn’t aware the air needed clearing, but Felicia says it felt tense when they parted ways. Laura asks if she means when she and Ava proposed to use Ava as bait. Felicia says Ava can’t do it alone. She needs a new boyfriend to make Ryan jealous.
Ava tells Doc that they’re going to use his brother’s own hand to bury him. Doc says, Ryan is dead, but she says, he’s out there somewhere, waiting for his moment to strike, but she’s going to strike first, and Doc is going to help her.
Laura gets that Felicia and Ava want be proactive. It’s their right, but she’s just starting to put her life back together. She needs to leave Ryan behind. Felicia says, without knowing if he’s dead? Laura asks what the alternative is; to live in fear or consumed with revenge? Felica says, not revenge, justice. Laura says they’ll have to agree to disagree. Felicia takes out a journal, and says, you know what living in fear is? Read this.
Doc thinks it’s supremely unwise to engage his brother in a duel, but Ava says, it’s more of an ambush. He tells her, let the police deal with it. She says they’re not looking for him, the FBI has moved on, and the DA closed the case. It’s up to them. They need to spread the word that what’s left of Ryan is buried, and they’re moving on. Give him a false sense of security. Doc says he’ll come straight for her, and she says she’ll be ready. He says, Ryan will never fall for it, but she says, he will. He’ll be too focused on her, and the man helping her get over him.
Curtis asks if TJ has dealt with a missing limb, but TJ says it’s a guessing game they play. Did he guess right? Curtis says it’s privileged information related to a case. He’ll let TJ know when it wraps. Curtis asks about Jordan, and TJ says she’s not done with her treatment yet. He knows his mom is the queen of positive spin, and wonders if she’s as good as she says she is. Curtis says she was lightheaded, but that and fatigue are within the realm of symptoms. TJ says they can also be outside the realm, but Molly thinks if it was serious, Jordan would tell him. TJ asks if there’s anything Curtis isn’t telling him, and Curtis says there’s nothing he’s not telling him about Jordan’s health.
Sam asks Shiloh what she has to do. She’s more than ready. He says, soon, and she wonders why mention it if she’s not ready. Shiloh says, an aspiration. Sam says they have a connection, and are getting close. Try her. He won’t disappointed. She promises. Harmony comes in, and asks if she’s interrupting. Shiloh says they were just broaching the subject of the Trust. Harmony says, he told Sam? Sam asks if it’s a secret, and Harmony says it’s an invitation only membership. Sam asks how she gets an invitation, and Harmony says she has to prove her worthiness. Her journey has just begun, and her path is long and winding. Sam guesses that’s a no. She asks, who’s in charge? Harmony or Shiloh?
Willow says she has a friend who’s been studying, but isn’t sure that’s the path they want to take. Chase says it took a while before he decided to be a cop. Willow says, sometimes a commitment to anything is better than uncertainty. Chase says she’s a great teacher. She wishes she’d known that sooner, but he says she can use her experience to help her friend. She says her friend isn’t ready to hear what she has to say. Chase says, they will. Give it time.
Sonny tells Kristina that they’re all there help her. What does DOD have on her? Why can’t she walk away? She says she’s not scared. She can’t leave because it’s her home. They’re her family; a better family than this one. Michael says they all love her. She says they’re trapped in a prison of their expectations, and Alexis asks what that means. Neil thinks they need to take a breath, and asks Kristina to tell them more what she thinks their expectations are of her. She says they expect her to be a screw-up. They don’t trust her judgment. DOD sees her for who she is. Alexis says she’s acting like she didn’t exist before DOD; like nothing meant anything before. Kristina says she had no direction or purpose. She was lost, and DOD helped her find her place. She’ll be damned if she lets that go.
Doc asks if Ava wants him to pose as what? Her boyfriend? She says, confidant, lover; call it what he wants. All that matters is that Ryan sees he was replaced. Doc says, he’ll never believe it. She says he’ll never believe Doc swooped in to comfort his brother’s obsession? It will work. Doc says, it’s ill-conceived. Ava says, worst case, Ryan is really dead, and they’ve wasted their time. Doc says the worst case is failure of imagination. Say, for argument’s sake, Ryan is alive. He falls for the charade, slips out of her trap, and gets the drop on her. What does she think he’ll do? She could ask the dead women he left in his path, but she can’t. Ryan murdered them, and will murder her.
Laura says, it’s a dream journal, and Felicia says, nightmares. She had them after her first go around with Ryan, and for months after the fire. Tom Hardy thought a record would help her confront her fears. Laura asks if it helped, and Felicia says, it was a start. A manageable way for her to start talking about her feelings. Laura thanks her for sharing her personal feelings; she’s honored. Felicia says, there’s more where that came from. They cropped up again when the press about the twenty-fifth anniversary started. She hasn’t had a night without one since learning Ryan was alive. Lulu might want to keep a journal too.
Willow tells Chase, sorry. They could have hung out, since her friend couldn’t see her. He says, tonight? She thinks that’s good, and says she’ll get back to him. Valerie returns, and Chase introduces them. Valerie says they met briefly on New Year’s Eve. Chase suggests she make sure the car is still there, and she says she’ll do that. He tells Willow that he has to run, but if she needs someone to talk to, a sandwich, or moral support, call him.
Alexis tells Kristina that her so-called friends aren’t helping her find herself. They took advantage of her. Kristina admits she was at a low point when she ended things with Parker, but they showed her not to wallow in it, and gave her a way out. Sonny ask, at what cost? Kristina says, no price is too high. Neil asks if she’s happy, and she says not much, since she’s been kidnapped. He says, outside these walls, is she happy in DOD? She says happier than she’s ever been. He asks if she sees herself being happy ten years from now at DOD. She doesn’t see why not, and he asks if she can describe her future. Alexis asks where she’ll be living, and what she’ll be doing. Kristina says she’ll be doing good works, and spreading Shiloh’s lessons wherever they’re needed. Sonny asks if she wants to teach someone else’s lessons her entire life.
Shiloh wants Harmony to look for their friend (i.e. Willow). Harmony asks Shiloh to wish her luck, but he says luck is a lie. All she needs is faith in herself. He touches her heart, and concentrates. He tells her to take all her nerves and unease, bundle them in the palms of her hands, and give it to him. He can take it; bear her burden. She puts her palms on his chest. She thanks him, saying she’s recovered her strength to do what needs be done. He says she can do it, and she leaves. Sam asks what that was about, and he says she’s awfully inquisitive. He thinks it’s time they remedy that.
Alexis doesn’t recall Kristina ever wanting a job of service. She wanted to be a dancer, and was dedicated to that. Michael says he went to every recital. Kristina says, that was a hobby, not a calling. Neil asks if she still dances, but she says, only in clubs. Michael asks when was the last time she did that, and she says she has other priorities. Sonny says she was interested in the coffee business, and came to him with ideas about Perks. She wanted to learn the ins and outs of the business. Kristina says, so? and Michael says she liked it enough to go to business school, and wanted to intern at ELQ. Kristina says she was trying other things. Michael says he never thought she would limit herself. Neil asks if she can pursue a hobby, career, or relationship outside of DOD. Do they have room for her if she pursues something outside?
Outside Kelly’s, Valerie tells Chase the car is where they left it. He wants to swing by the DOD house. Valerie wonders why, and he says Shiloh is a real dirtbag. Valerie says she heard him speak once. Chase says, and…? She says she couldn’t agree more. Molly and TJ come by, and Valerie says, this should be interesting. She asks Molly how things are going with Kristina, and Molly says, things are going well. Kristina came to her senses, and left the DOD house.
Sam tells Shiloh that she didn’t mean pry; she’s just curious. He says she’s like him; searching and exploring. He didn’t mean to suppress her investigative spirit. The Trust is made up of DOD members, but there’s more to it than that. She says she wouldn’t wonder if it wasn’t a mystery. He prefers to call it intimate. The core members within it forge ideas. Sam understands why it has to remain exclusive, but Shiloh thinks she’d be an excellent addition. Sam says, Harmony didn’t think so.
Willow feels someone standing at the table, and says, back so soon? She looks up to see Harmony, who says, it’s been a long time… Willow.
Curtis tells Jordan that she just missed TJ and Molly. She asks about the stolen pharmacy items, and he says her brilliant son confirmed they’d be exactly what Ryan needed. They still don’t have much, and she asks about surveillance footage. Curtis says there’s nothing, but the pharmacy is in a remote location. He thinks Ryan is hiding somewhere nearby, and she says he needs to find out.
Ava tells Doc that Ryan thinks he knows what she’s capable of, but he has no idea. She can take care of herself. He says she’ll have to do it on her own. He has too much to lose. She says, like what? He’s a pariah in the town, GH shut him out, and he’s going to have a hard time finding new patients. Laura is done with him. Ava has a sudden realization, and asks if Laura has taken him back.
Felicia tells Laura that if Lulu is like her, she’ll be looking over her shoulder until Ryan’s death is confirmed. Laura says he’s probably at the bottom of Lake Ontario, but Felicia says they need to be sure. If he’s alive, their plan will draw him out. It’s their best shot at getting his victims and their families some measure of peace. Doesn’t she want that for Lulu? For this to work, they need her by their side, helping to paint the right picture for Ryan. They can’t afford to wait, because Ryan won’t.
Neil asks Kristina if belonging to the DOD community means she can’t commit to anything else. She says she’s fulfilled, and doesn’t need anything else. He says, that may change in the future. She says, thefuture is imagination. She lives in the present, and they refuse to look at that, because then they’d have to understand and accept what they’re doing to her. Alexis says she’s not free, and Kristina says she’s listened to what they had to say. Now she wants out.
Harmony asks if Willow is taking care of herself. She can’t see getting used to Willow’s new name, and Willow says it’s not like Harmony was the name she was born with. They take the names that suit them. Harmony says, names don’t mean much anyway. Willow can call herself anything, and DOD would take her back.
Valerie asks Molly if she thinks it’s okay for her to call Kristina. Molly says she can try, but she probably won’t pick up. She’s called Kristina a dozen times. Valerie ask where she is, and Molly says her mom said Kristina went somewhere to think and get her head on straight. Valerie says if Kristina checks in, tell her that she’s thinking about her. Molly and TJ leave, and Chase says, Kristina left DOD days ago. Valerie says, that’s great, and he says, as long as she left on her own.
Sam wonders when she can join the Trust, and Shiloh says, soon. He tells her, have patience. They’ll love and welcome her, but as the name implies, they’re bonded in trust with one another. They have to all agree to take her in their hearts, and she needs to prove she’ll take them into hers. She asks if that’s what he means when he talks about the Pledge.
Curtis says he need be there with Jordan. Jordan loves being with him, but she he doesn’t have to be constantly at her side. She can get through it on her own. She has the department behind her, and TJ and Stella will help. Curtis loves that she and Stella are on good terms. She says no one else is looking for Ryan, and she can’t use any resources. Curtis is the only one who can find him
Ava says Doc’s brother nearly killed Laura’s daughter, and she’s taking him back? He says they love each other, and they’re picking up the pieces. Ava supposes it helps that Laura’s daughter survived. Hers did not. She has no pieces to pick up, just a grave to visit. He’s truly sorry, but won’t shut out Laura again, not even to catch his brother. Ava says Laura would be in on it. Doc worked with her daughter at the hospital. He saw how bright and full of promise she was. His brother murdered her. If they have a chance to catch him, he doesn’t get to say no. He owes her.. He says he’ll owe her for the rest of his life, but hers is not the only debt he has to pay, and he won’t settle their account at the expense of his wife. He walks out.
Doc finds Laura at The Floating Rib, and she tells him that Felicia was trying to get her on board with their plan to flush Ryan. He says Ava tried to recruit him to pose as her new partner, so she can bait Ryan, but he said he wouldn’t do that to her. Laura’s phone rings, It’s Jordan, who says she might have a lead on Ryan. It’s not much, but worth looking into. Unfortunately, it’s in Canada. Laura says, it’s out of Jordan’s jurisdiction, but Jordan says that’s not the issue. However, she has someone to get him, if he’s there to be got.
Molly asks TJ, what’s wrong? TJ says she doesn’t want to know, but she’s asking anyway. He shows her some paperwork, and she asks if he stole his mom’s medical file. He says no; he copied it. Not the whole thing, just the analysis of her kidney function. Since she started dialysis, she’s been hiding something.
Willow tells Harmony that she’s not coming back. Harmony says she caused a commotion when she left. They searched high and low. Shiloh was surprised she was only as far as Port Charles. Willow says she’s happy. She has friends, a job, and a purpose. Harmony says DOD needs a teacher, and could benefit from her expertise. Willow says she teaches a real curriculum, not Shiloh’s beliefs. Harmony says Willow believed once, but Willow says, not anymore. Harmony asks if Willow knows how much Shiloh misses her.
Chase tells Valerie that Michael is worried about Kristina. She’s shut down since getting involved with Shiloh and DOD. He wonders why she’d suddenly take action after months of being in it. Valerie says maybe she called Michael when she left, and he asks, why not Molly, but Valerie says Michael is older and has more resources. Chase flashes back to Michael saying he can protect Willow because of his and his father’s connections and resources. He says what if Michael used them to take Kristina out of DOD. Valerie asks if he means kidnap her. Knowing Kristina, she wouldn’t take that well, and dig in even harder. She’d fight to go back. Chase says it could go sideways, and give Shiloh more leeway. Valerie says they can’t let that happen. They need to find her themselves.
Sonny says Kristina’s not leaving until they’re done. Kristina says they want to brainwash her, but Michael says that’s Shiloh’s M.O. They’re trying to wake her up. Alexis says Shiloh wants her dependent on him. He wants her to have no other choice but him. Kristina calls them hypocrites. She can leave when she wants. The only people holding her captive are her own family. She can’t do this. They said she could end it when she wanted. Michael asks if she has any idea where she lands after being in the Trust. She says they’ll celebrate her progress, and Michael asks, how? Kristina tells him, say it, and Neil says, enough. Michael says, damn right it is, and walks out. Sonny follows him out. Michael says he can’t stand seeing her like this. She’s not hearing them. Sonny says it will take a while to get through. Michael’s phone dings. It’s a text from Chase, asking him to meet at The Floating Rib. Michael says there may be another way. Inside, Kristina tells Alexis that they’re committing a crime. If they let her go now, she’ll forget it. If they keep her, when she gets out, she’ll have them arrested.
Shiloh tells Sam, when the time is right for her to join the Trust, the Pledge will be explained. She hasn’t completed her initial training yet. Sam says he always keeps her in the dark, and eager to want more. She’s only scratched the surface of his knowledge. He ask if she thinks she’s ready for the next step. She says she is, and he suggests they do it now. He takes off his shirt.
Ava tells Felicia that Doc turned her down flat. Felicia thinks he should do everything in his power to catch Ryan, but Ava says he won’t do anything to jeopardize what he’s got going on now. Laura took him back, and Ava doesn’t think Laura is going to let him go again, even if it’s just pretend. Not even if it helps catch Ryan.
Laura tells Doc, If Ryan is alive and out there, she wants him caught. Doc says, Ava’s plan is too dangerous, but Laura says, sometimes the best plans are. He ask what she’s saying, and she says, maybe Ava’s plan is not so crazy after all.
Curtis guesses he’s going to Canada, and Jordan says he won’t be gone long. It’s just across the border. He says it might as well be across the universe if he’s away from her. They kiss, and Curtis leaves. TJ sees Jordan, and hugs her. He’s like to have an honest conversation. Does she think they can do that? She asks, what’s going on, and he says he saw her records. He knows she’s in danger of losing the kidney she has left.
Kristina asks Alexis to trust her. Believe in her, and let her go. Alexis says she’ll go straight back to DOD. Kristina says that’s her choice. Make it stop now, and she’ll forget what happened. She doesn’t want to hurt Alexis. Alexis tells Kristina to do what she has to. So will she. Kristina is staying. Alexis goes outside, and tells Sonny that she had to get out of there. Neil says they have some work to do. Kristina reaches under the couch, and finds her phone.
Valerie goes to the DOD house. Chase calls, an tells her that he’s waiting for Michael. She says she’ll let him know what she finds. She gets an incoming, unknown call. Kristina says, come on; pick up.
Sam asks what Shiloh is doing. He says, revealing himself. Most people think the body is something to conceal. They have to get over that fear. Fears stop people from committing themselves. He asks her to reveal herself. What has she got to hide? He holds out his hand, and she takes it.
Michael tells Chase he couldn’t have better timing. He’s been thinking about Shiloh and DOD. Chase says, him too, and he’s been thinking about Kristina. What did Michael’s family do with his sister?
Harmony tells Willow that Shiloh wants her back. He loves and forgives her. Willow says she doesn’t forgive Shiloh – or Harmony. Harmony says she did nothing wrong. Willow says Harmony gave her over to Shiloh when her job was to protect her. Harmony is her mother.
Shiloh takes Sam to the attic. He says they’re going to shed what’s between; first, the physical, then the spiritual. Sam walks in, and he closes the door. Sam puts something in her waistband behind her. Shiloh stands there staring at her, while she starts to unbutton her shirt.
Tomorrow, Ava says Ryan is dead, Alexis asks who Kristina called, Shiloh wants to take it to the next level with Sam, and Sonny tells Jason to eliminate him.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Teddi and Kyle go to a place called Petite ‘n’ Pretty. Kyle says photographer Samantha reached out from Instagram for Portia to model a kids’ make-up line. Kyle says Portia is good at make-up, and would like to be a make-up artist or YouTube star. Teddi tells daughter Slate it’s for the shoot only. In her interview, Teddi says the world of make-up has changed since she was a kid. She didn’t want to wear it until 8th grade, and then it was black nail polish and black eyeliner. Her mom wasn’t thrilled, so then she died her hair eggplant. That actually sounds like a cool color. Kyle checks out Camille’s bridesmaid dresses, and doesn’t want to be one because it has a capped sleeve, which is not her friend. Mine neither. She asks Teddi when the RV trip is happening, and we see a clip of Teddi saying Edwin got an RV, and they should go on a trip. In her interview, she says Edwin got it so he could improve his tailgate experience. The rich – they’re not just like us. The photographer shoots some pictures of Portia and Slate.
In LisaR’s interview, she wishes Harry were there. He’s like a human Xanax. She calls Erika in New Jersey, who says tonight’s show is sold out, so she’s super excited. In her interview, she says it’s almost like going on a date with a really hot guy. LisaR tells her LVP didn’t show for Camille’s shower, and told Camille she wasn’t invited. We flash back to that. In her interview, LisaR thinks if you’ve been friends a long time, you should communicate, not just turn your back on them. She tells Erika that she asked Lois what she thought about the whole saga, and Lois thinks it’s bullsh*t Erika says she’ll be back tomorrow
Denise works out. She says she has a built-in trainer with Aaron. And a babysitter. In Denise’s interview, she says she loves working out with him. She forgets how hot he is. Every morning, they have sex and then workout, so it’s like a double workout. She feels bad about LVP not showing up again. We flash back to the dinner for Lois, and LisaR saying that LVP was working at PUMP, but sent her best wishes. She tells Aaron that she and LVP are having lunch. She thinks there was miscommunication and hurt on both sides, and should probably stay out of it. In her interview, she says she wants LVP to know the women still care about her. Being a mediator comes with experience. She had to do a lot with her ex-husband. She gets a text about the guy Sami is going to the homecoming dance with, and says it’s hard to watch her kids become adults. Aaron says they’ll always be her daughters. She gets weepy, and says she feels like she effed up a lot with their dad. She doesn’t want them to remember the fights, but Aaron says she protected them. In her interview, Denise says how she chose to relate to the dysfunction was to hide it from the kids. She doesn’t know if that was a disservice. She tells Aaron, life is short, and childhood is short. He says, enjoy every moment. He wouldn’t change anything about his life, because it led to him being there with her. Can this guy be any cooler? He says that he might have kids out there. She’s like, what? and he says he’s just kidding.
In Dorit’s car, Jagger plays a pretend guitar, and sings, rock and roll, over and over. They’re on their way to visit Kyle. Two-year-old Phoenix immediately accosts Kyle’s daughters. Dorit says she’s mature for two, and when she sees big kids, thinks obviously they’re her friends. She and Jagger hang with the girls, while Dorit and Kyle go outside. Dorit says she has a dream backyard, and Kyle wishes she’s had it when the kids were smaller. The dogs are rambunctious, and she says they’re a lot. She asks if they’re really seeing Boy George playing at the Greek. Dorit says didn’t invite LVP. She doesn’t want to exclude her, but doesn’t want to crowd her either. Kyle says she’s in the same boat, so she gets it.
LVP shows a friend her kitchen in progress. She says she wants to erase every memory from the past three months. In her interview, she says the negativity seems to have gone out the window with the renovation. It was $300K, but worth every penny. She’s distanced herself because she’s had no space for tears, sadness, or being under attack. Denise isn’t part of it, so she’s looking forward to seeing her. She meets Denise at Villa Blanca, and gives her two wedding presents, pink porcelain vases. I think they’re vases anyway. In LVP’s interview, she says she’s seen compassion in the way Denise interacts with children. She has an authenticity that LVP has warmed to. They order drinks, and Denise says LVP seems better, but they haven’t seen much of her. LVP says that’s been her choice. Denise says they love her, and she feels bad about Kyle. LVP tells her that when you swear on your children’s lives, that’s serious. The whole situation is ugly, and it hurt her feelings. She doesn’t need it in her life.
Kyle asks Dorit about LVP meeting with Denise. Dorit thinks Denise is going in with kid gloves. She’s had experience with similar personalities with her ex. Kyle asks if she’s suggesting LVP is like Charlie Sheen. Although they are both Virgos.
LVP tells Denise it was embarrassing and humiliating. In Denise’s interview, she says when she was humiliated in the past, the easy thing would have been to cancel interviews. LVP has chosen to retreat, but if she can’t explain it, you’d think she’d want to repair things; not throw away the friendships. Or at least want to defend herself if she didn’t do it.
Kyle says friends call each other out, and you grow and learn. LVP makes herself a victim. When she’s called out, she freaks out and bolts. She can’t face people. We see clips of past times when LVP has bolted. In Kyle’s interview, she says she wants LVP to come back and figure it out. In Dorit’s interview, she says since the Radar Online articles came out, she hasn’t seen or heard from LVP. She and Kyle had the argument. What did she do?
Denise tells LVP, friends can say hurtful things, but still respect each other. LVP says she was called a liar. You don’t treat people like that if love them. You don’t let a friend go to bed in tears. Denise repeats they still love her, and LVP says, it’s a shame. Denise agrees it is, and says LVP is fun and she’s missed. In her interview, Denise doesn’t get how LVP can just throw the women out. She tells LVP about the RV trip, but that’s a hard no. In LVP’s interview, she says even if Denise had said shopping with George Clooney in Paris, she would take a pass. It’s a definite pass on an RV trip. She tells Denise not to feel the need to defend her. Denise says she’s not, and LVP asks, why not? What kind of effing friend is she? They laugh.
Erika and LisaR pick up Teddi for the concert. They have a glass of champagne. In her interview, Erika says her first show was fabulous. They added a few more shows, but she has a few hours in LA. She can’t think of a better way to spend them. There’s a mechanical bull out back, and Erika says the last time she rode one was at her great-grandmother’s funeral. She clarifies that it was in a bar afterwards. Kyle and Camille join them. In Camille’s interview, she says she loves LisaR, but thinks she was extremely rude at the dinner. However, life is too short to hold grudges. Teddi’s youngest has a meltdown, not wanting her to leave. Teddi calls Edwin to help with the transition, and he peels the kid off of Teddi.
Dorit sees PK backstage, and he says he talked to Ken. We see a clip of him on the phone, telling Ken they’ve gone adrift. He asks why they don’t have lunch, and see if two old gits like them can sort it out. Ken tells him, LVP is tired of those women, and PK tells him not to confuse him and Dorit with Teddi and Kyle. He tells Dorit that Ken said he’d talk to LVP.
Erika tells the women about the tour as they travel to the concert on what looks like an empty bus. Teddi tells them that she sent a text to LVP. She whips out her phone, and reads the text. She hopes LVP is well. She knows they have an issue, and don’t see eye to eye, but thinks it’s best to move on. She has no ill will, and thinks they can co-exist in the group. In Kyle’s interview, she says, sure. LVP will just move on. Sorry Teddi. You’ll be in this for a while. Teddi thinks Camille should have said something to LVP about not being invited. In her interview, Kyle says Camille plays both sides of fence. Which is funny, coming from her. Camille says she and LVP have no beef.
The ladies go backstage, where there’s a nice spread. They eat and drink. Teddi says it’s not her first time at this rodeo. She loves the vibe, and seeing what the artists are like behind the scenes. Kyle asks if Erika has a backstage like this, and she says she does. Teddi asks if Erika gets in character before a show, and Erika says, everything is amplified and bigger. Kyle wonders about eye contact, and says in her fantasies, she would be talking to everyone in the audience. PK and Dorit enter with George. George tells them Gladys Knight is going on stage with him. Billy Idol is also there, and everyone gets excited. In LisaR’s interview, she says Billy is a gorgeous, sexy heartbreaker. She does know he was in his prime almost forty years ago, right? Denise has been excused because of family night, but in her interview, LisaR asks if LVP isn’t PK’s best friend. Why isn’t she here? What is she doing? Why is it your business?
At Villa Rosa, we hear LVP whispering sweet talk. She brushes one of the pups (I think Schnookie), and tells him how wonderful he is.
Dorit tells the women that PK offered to talk to LVP and Ken. In Kyle’s interview, she thinks if PK has a breakthrough, it’s better for the whole group. Billy Idol arrives with some other people, and um… what I said. Mr. Chow’s (of the restaurant) daughter is with the group, and Teddi says she used to work for the restaurant. In her interview, she says, when she first moved to LA, her parents helped her move, but that’s it. So she got a hostess job. LisaR acts stupid meeting Billy. In LisaR’s interview, she says it’s cool being backstage, and hanging out with your idols in person.
Denise helps her middle daughter with homework. In her interview, she says she would have liked to go, but family comes first. She tells her daughter that she’ll probably never use that math in life, but at least she knows it. She and Aaron sit with the pups. He asks how things are with Charlie, and Denise says he filed to lower the child support. The press was right. She texted him, saying they could work it out discreetly and privately. It’s been twelve years she’s been dealing with this. In her interview, she says she never anticipated the journey she’d be on after her divorce. They had no prenup, and she didn’t ask for half of his money, because she’s not a greedy effing whore. How he blew all the money, she doesn’t know. (Probably on greedy effing whores. And drugs.) She says he should have given her half. She could have put it away for him.
The concert starts, and they embarrass me by screaming and dancing. Dorit loves margarita Kyle, who does splits and flips. It’sthe true Kyle Richards. George introduces soul greatness Gladys Knight, who, I might add, did not meet with the Wives because she’s probably smarter than that. Erika has to run. In her interview, Dorit says it’s always exciting being with the girls, but this takes it to another level. George sings with a choir, and everyone lifts their phone lights, like we used to do with lighters. Admittedly, it’s safer, but it’s not nearly as atmospheric. In Kyle’s interview, she says there’s been so much negativity, it’ nice to laugh and have fun. It feels like they’re sixteen years old. Afterwards, they visit with George who says he called out a woman who was Facebooking on her phone all night. Kyle says she would worry about being vulnerable on stage, and PK says she can’t even get on with her best friend. Maybe she’s the one with issues. Kyle says he’s in the same position, and he says it was a joke. Kyle says LVP isn’t talking to him either, but he says he’s talking to Ken. In her interview, Kyle says the whole reason she got into this situation was speaking on his wife’s behalf. Now he’s giving her a jab, and getting into LVP’s and Ken’s good graces. Dorit says it’s the English way of joking, and knows it can be hurtful. Kyle says they’re in the same boat, but PK says he’s not. The ladies leave, except for Dorit. Outside, Camille says that was a nasty comment. Dorit tells PK that they don’t know him that well. He says it was a s joke, but she thinks he should say he’s sorry. Kyle tells the women that it’s disrespect to his own wife. Teddi says, whatever conversation he had with Ken got him there. Kyle says, good luck having sex with your wife tonight. The others laugh.
Dorit tells PK that what he said diminishes what happened. He says he made a joke, and she says she knows it. We all know it, since he’s said it five times now. In Dorit’s interview, she says PK’s great sense of humor is one of the things she loves about him, but he put his foot in his mouth, and it bit her in the ass.
The ladies hang out at the bus. In her interview, LisaR says PK loves to stir the sh*t. She knows because she loves to stir the sh*t. (At least she’s owning it.) Dorit joins them, and says she fully understands how Kyle feels, but she needs to understand the context. He’s comfortable with her and loves her; it didn’t come from a bad place. It was in poor taste and stupid, but he wasn’t being mean. Teddi interjects, and Dorit says let her have a conversation for two seconds. Teddi mumbles to Kyle that the way Dorit sai that was inappropriate, and Kyle says, calm down. Frankly, I think Teddi constantly butting in is inappropriate. In Teddi’s interview, she says when things get heated, she and Dorit don’t communicate the same way. She ask why Dorit is yelling at her, and Dorit says she won’t shut up. Can Teddi give her thirty seconds. In Camille’s interview, she says she and Dorit don’t have the best friendship, but she’s with Dorit on this one. Teddi is a know-it-all, and it’s not the right time to assert herself into the conversation. Kyle says her fight with LVP started because she was defending the two of them. Dorit says her fight is about her and LVP. Kyle says in defending Dorit, she had to be honest. In her interview, Teddi says it’s hard to watch them. They both want LVP’s friendship, and are vying over who’s the better friend. Dorit and Kyle step away from the others.
Kyle says a joke is supposed to be humorous. On the sidelines, LisaR says jokes are supposed to be funny, and she doesn’t think PK or LVP are funny. She wishes she could have some British humor. Maybe they shouldn’t be friends with British people. In her interview, she says she wishes she could hide behind British humor, but she’s just an a-hole with iconic hair and big lips. Teddi wishes Dorit wouldn’t snap when there’s an issue. Dorit wishes Teddi wouldn’t constantly chime in. LisaR has joined them, and says maybe Dorit snapped because she’s sick and tired of it. Dorit says she’s sorry if she was aggressive. She didn’t mean to be, but she came down to set the record straight with Kyle. Kyle knows PK is a good guy. She was offended in the moment, but isn’t going to carry a grudge. In her interview, Kyle says she’s not going to hold on to it forever, but right now, she’s pissed off. Eff you, PK. That’s British humor.
Next time, Camille tells Denise that Teddi is a know-it-all, PK and Dorit have lunch with LVP and Ken, and Dorit thinks it’s difficult to believe that LVP didn’t have anything to do with it.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Alex looks at the DNA test, and says, oh my God. Dr. Raston says she retested the samples that were left. Alex says, this is real? and the doctor thinks Alex should have a conversation with Brad. Alex says they’re getting a divorce, and doesn’t see the point. The doctor says lies and secrets got her here, and it’s obvious she has another one. The board meeting is tomorrow, and she asks if Alex can make it. Alex says she will. Dr. Raston says she needs Alex there. This is her life and career that she’s never faltered in. Alex says she’ll be there. The doctor doesn’t know the results Alex was looking for, but can tell it’s a shock. She leaves, and Alex looks at the results again.
Eddie puts Esperanza in a cell. She says he thinks it’s funny, and he says, absolutely. She just stole from a restaurant, and now she’s just another citizen. He walks away, and she tells him, come back. He says he can’t hear her. Kelly is in the next cell, and asks what Esperanza is doing there. Esperanza says Eddie locked her up. It’s okay. When she gets out, he’s done. Kelly is sorry, and Esperanza asks if she’s seen Lushion. Kelly says, earlier, and Esperanza asks how she’s doing. Kelly says don’t worry about her. Is she okay? Kelly says she’s better. She’s trying to keep some faith. Esperanza says they’re all working hard to get her out. Kelly appreciates it. She misses her son, and Esperanza says she’ll bring him there when she gets out, but Kelly says, no. She’s not ready to see him. She can’t look into his eyes. Esperanza thinks it would do her good, and give her strength.
Lushion comes by. He tells Kelly that they came up with a good game plan. They’re going to talk over dinner. He says, hang in there, and Kelly suggests he tell Esperanza hang in there too; she’s next door. He’s like, what? and asks Esperanza what she’s doing there. Esperanza says, what does he think? Eddie. He unlocks the cell, and says Eddie keeps pushing the envelope. Eddie walks over, and says, no. Esperanza stole from a restaurant, and resisted law enforcement. Lushion takes her out, and she pushes Eddie. He says she’ll have an assault charge too, and if she gets behind the wheel of a car, a DUI. Lushion stops him, and Eddie asks if Lushion is going to hit him. Lushion says, no. He’ll call Steven to do that. Eddie says they think they’re funny. He’ll get Esperanza later.
Esperanza calls Larry, and leaves a message. She sees Steven, who asks, what’s wrong? She says, nothing, but he knows different. She says, Eddie, and she doesn’t want to talk about it. He says she’ not upset over nothing, and she tells him Eddie arrested her for not paying at a restaurant. She didn’t have her wallet, and asked him to pay. Steven says she had lunch with him? Why? She says why is he asking all these questions? She was just talking to Eddie. Steven asks, about what? and she says she doesn’t need him to know. She walks away, and Eddie walk up. He tells Steven, let that one go. That broad is bad news. Steven says the only bad news around there is him. Lushion tells Eddie, get to work, and tells Steven don’t waste his time.
Rick wants to talk to Lushion. He brings Lushion to the interrogation room, where Margaret is waiting. Rick introduces her, saying she’s the chaplain at Calvary and the prison. Margaret says she saw Kelly, and Lushion says she’s having a hard time. She tells him, Kelly said something that made her pray hard. She’s not the only girl. She thought the women were going crazy because Travis was a handsome kid. When Rick called, she began to pray. She doesn’t want to take anyone down. Lushion says, Travis is dead, but she says what if she’s wrong. Lushion suggests she tell them, and let them be the judge. She says her loyalty is to the church. Um… shouldn’t her loyalty be to God? Lushion wants to show her something, and brings up a picture of Justice on his phone. He says, her son. She’s a good mother. He knows a woman like her, a child of God, wouldn’t want this to go on. She says, this was a bad idea. She needs to leave. Lushion says she can break the cycle of pain, but Rick says, let it go. Margaret leaves, and Lushion says they shouldn’t have let her go. Rick says, this will take finesse, and she’s weak. Rick says he’s working on it, and they’ll talk later. Lushion says he’s seeing Ian tonight, and Rick says, be careful with that and what he says. Lushion says right now, they have to trust somebody. Rick says the church is like a bunch of gangsters, but Lushion just wants to hear what Ian has to say. He tells Rick he’s doing a good job.
Marcie and Brad go out to eat. She asks what this is about, and he says, it’s very simple. He was at work, thinking about her, and wanted to talk to her about something. She asks if she needs to brace herself, and he says, maybe. Will she marry him? She laughs, and says they talked about this. He says they talked about dating. She says he was just trying to work things out with Alex, but he says, it’s not going to work. She says they’ve been through a lot, and hurt. He says they both deserve better. He loves her. She says she loves him too; they’re incredible friends. He says that’s what makes it so perfect. She says, when he went back to Alex, that hurt. He says he had to make sure it was over, and she says what if she wanted go back to Randal to make sure. He asks if she’s seriously thinking about it, and she says, yeah. He says, really? and she laughs. She says that’s why they’re not ready to be in a relationship. He can’t even tell when she’s lying. He tells her, don’t do that, and she says, it was a joke. She says, it’s a little sudden. He shows her a round diamond ring, and asks her to marry him. She can’t believe he went this far. It doesn’t feel right, and she has to say no. He asks if it’s her boyfriend. She says she’s not into Ian. They’ve been over this. She asks him not to be disappointed, and he asks her to k about it. She agrees, and he says all he knows is that he doesn’t want her to be with anyone else. There’s no one else he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
Larry sits on his car, looking over some papers. Randal pulls in, driving a surprisingly unsexy car. He tells Larry, go to hell, but Larry says he needs to see this. He knows Randal is angry, but he needs to see this. Randal says, go home, and Larry says, no. Randal says, fine. Stay out there all night. Larry says, please, let him in, and Randal says he hates Larry. Larry says he won’t after he sees this. They go inside, and Larry tells Randal, look at it, giving him some papers. Randal asks what the hell it is, and Larry says PIs fill it out for recent divorcees; all the dirt they can find. This is what was found on him. Randal says, it was a longtime ago. Larry says Randal can see why he had him sign. Randal says there’s no way Marcie would know unless he told her this sh*t, but Larry says, it’s easy to find. Randal says it was settled out of court. Larry tells him, just because it was settled, doesn’t mean he was right in gaslighting a patient. He was fired from the hospital for it. Marcie could have taken everything. After some discussion about the word gaslighting – making someone think they’re crazy – probably for the edification of the audience, Larry says, mind games. Randal is good at it. Randal says it was never proven, and it was sealed. Larry says it depends on the kind of attorney, but he could be destroyed. He might not be able to testify, or be party to the jury selection. Randal tells him, get out. Larry says Randal should be thanking him. He saved Randal. Randal asks if he’s done, and Larry says, no. He wants a drink. He pours one for himself, and one for Randal. He’s not leaving until Randal apologizes. Randal says that’s not happening, and Larry asks if he hasn’t paid enough penance. Randal takes the drink. He tells Larry, keep trying him, and see what happens. Larry pours another.
Kelly sits on the floor of her cell, bummed. Rick stops by. She says he’s not in uniform, and he tells her that he’s headed to church; Calvary. She asks why? and he says he’s working on something; trust him. She says she’s trying to. After everything Travis put her through, it’s hard. He says he’s working on something to help her, but he needs her to be strong. He remembers when she reported Travis the first time; she was strong. She says that was before Travis beat her down. He says she still hasn’t run, but she says, look around him. She’s in jail. He says, not for long. She wonders how he can be so sure. He says he’s just asking for a little time. It will be okay. She has him and Lushion working on it, and they’re going to figure it out. She says, okay, and he promises he won’t leave her. he won’t let anything happen without a helluva fight, and they’re fighting to the end. He needs her to fight too. She says she’s doing her best, and he tells her that he’ll see her in the morning. Stay strong.
Randal tells Larry, get out, again, and Larry says, one more. Randal says he’s not playing. His phone rings. He says he’ll be going to the hospital, and he’s bringing his attorney. When he’s done with the call, he tells Larry to be sober and fresh for the meeting at the hospital tomorrow. Larry says, just so Randal knows, he’s going to keep harassing Randal until he forgives him. Larry gets in his, also unsexy, but still cool, car, and drives off.
Tanya strides up to Randal’s house, and knocks on the door. She asks him why he said those things to her the other day. He asks what he said, and she tells him, don’t talk to her again. He says, okay, and she says, stop looking in her windows. He says, but she’s so beautiful, and she says she’ll call the police. She’ll tell her husband. He laughs, and says she’s crazy. She says she’s not crazy. He thinks she is, and asks why she came over. She says to tell him he’s a liar, and don’t talk to her again. He says she’s the one who came over to his house. Don’t bring her ass over there, and he won’t talk to her. She tells him, don’t look at her naked, and he asks if she enjoyed looking at him. She says he’s a sad little man, and he says, clearly, she didn’t get a good enough look. Does she want to try again? He starts to unbuckle his belt, and she leaves. He tells her, don’t be afraid, but she keeps moving.
Tanya runs into Natalie on the sidewalk. Natalie asks if Randal is bothering her, and Tanya says, yeah. He’s been looking in her windows. Natalie is sorry, and suggests she close the curtains. Tanya says she needs the light; it helps her. Natalie says she should call the police. He won’t stop. Tanya says, he’d better stop. Natalie think she should tell her husband, but Tanya says, he already has enough on his plate. Natalie says she needs to tell somebody, and Tanya says she’ll think about it. She thanks Natalie for helping her the other night. She knows her husband told Natalie about her condition. It doesn’t happen unless she doesn’t take her meds. Randal watches from the open doorway because he’s creepy that way. Natalie says she’ll tell Lushion, and he’ll tell Randal’s ass. Tanya goes home, and Randal yells where’s Natalie’s car? Who walks to the grocery store? They don’t do that in this neighborhood. There’s no corner store, liquor store, check cashing place, or place to get her weave done. Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m not quite sure what that was about, since he described a lot of neighborhoods in NYC, and like convenience is a bad thing.
Larry is in his office, and hears a noise. He asks, who’s there? and Eddie says, his worst nightmare. Larry says, some people’s sweetest dream. Eddie asks if Larry is trying to take him down with Esperanza. Larry says he has no idea what Eddie is talking about. Eddie asks if Larry knows how many people have tried to take him down. Larry imagines quite a few. His fellow officers; rookies. They’ve tried, and failed. Eddie says, miserably. Larry suggests Eddie come by, but Eddie says he’s not into Larry’s fruity ass. Larry asks if he’s into Joey. They have a few mutual friends he met with earlier; Peter, Joey, Andrew. Eddie asks why the hell they were there, and Larry says, testimony against him. When he’s done with the case he’s handing to the DA, Eddie won’t need to be worried about him, but a gang of guys like him, doing far worse. Eddie tells Larry now is the time to stop before it gets extremely ugly. Larry says, it’s too late for that. Eddie says, if he has nothing to lose, he might as well take Larry out. I assume he doesn’t mean to the movies. Larry says not if he gets to Eddie first. Eddie says they’ll see about that, and Larry guesses they shall. He’ll see Eddie soon. Eddie walks out, and Larry asks if Eddie knows he has an ass like a Black girl. A loud laugh pops out of my mouth. I love Tyler Perry’s shows because the dialogue is so clever, and often very real.
Ian arrives at Lushion and Natalie’s house. Natalie tells them to talk while she checks on the roast. Ian asks how Lushion has been. Lushion says, anxious. Is he taking Kelly’s case? Ian says he’s doing it, and Natalie says, thank you, Lord. Lushion tells her not to take the Lord’s name in vain, but I’m not sure how that applies here. Ian says Lushion does realize it’s going to be tricky. He has to break client privilege to rep her. He has to figure out a way around it. Evidence can help. He can’t tell Lushion what it is. Lushion says Ian’s got to give him something, and Ian says he knows where to look. Rick works at the church. Lushion says, Rick is trying to get information. The chaplain said there could be more victims. Ian says, find the others. Lushion says, then what? How is Ian going to rep Kelly while working for Larry? Ian says he’d want Justice on the stand, but doesn’t think they’ll even have to go to court. If they have evidence, the DA will offer a deal. Lushion says, Kelly won’t take a deal. Ian says it’s an election year, and the DA won’t want to be embarrassed, especially in front of a public defender. Lushion asks if he thinks the kid can do it, and Ian says, it will change his career overnight. Get the evidence. Lushion says it would be nice if Ian would point him in the right direction. Ian says, it’s real close. Closer than he thinks. Now I’m trying to figure it out.
Alex knocks at the door. She thanks them for inviting her. Natalie introduces Ian, saying he’s the attorney she was telling Alex about. Natalie tells Ian, this is… Ian says, Jennifer. They’ve met. Natalie says, no; Alex. Ian says, Jennifer, and Alex says, no. She’s Alex. He says, sorry. He thought she was someone else. Natalie says she’s about to get dinner started, but Alex wanted to know if Ian could look over her divorce papers. Lushion is like, hey, but Ian says, it’s okay. He’ll do it; not a problem. Natalie says they want it by tomorrow. Ian asks why the rush, and Alex says, long story. Ian guesses they’ve got a long dinner ahead. Natalie says there’s plenty of wine, and calls Alex Jennifer. Ian apologizes again, saying Alex really looks like her. Alex hopes she was nice, and he says she was, extremely. Lushion asks if they’re ready to eat, and Ian says he’ll look at the papers after dinner. Alex says they’re at her house. She’ll get them later, and he says he’ll walk her.
For a long dinner, we see none of it. Alex and Ian walk to her house, and she thanks him again. It’s been tough. He says he understands. He does a lot of divorce cases, and it’s never easy, but this one is different/ He feels like there’s something missing from the story. Alex asks what that’s supposed to mean, and he says she just had a baby. He says she doesn’t have to tell him, and she says, maybe oneday. They go inside.
Alex pays the sitter, and thanks her. She asks if Ian would like a drink. He says, sure. He lives across the street. She wants one too, but before she can get to the bar, Ian takes her in his arms, and is about to kiss her.
Next time – the finale – Tanya does a painting of Randal, Alex says she has no idea what Ian is talking about, Randal wants to get Dr. Raston fired, Ben trashes Randal’s’ house, and Ian asks if the baby is his. Which is what I’d been wondering since I saw him call her Jennifer on the commercial.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
At the hospital, Doc and Laura kiss. A messenger brings a package for Doc. Doc asks who it’s from, and the messenger says, someone named Chamberlain. Doc signs for the box, and I wonder if he’s left-handed in real life. He opens it, and there’s a Styrofoam container inside. He opens that, and as I suspected, a frozen hand is inside. Laura is like, omg, and turns away.
Scotty goes to Ava’s apartment, and asks, what’s the emergency? She says she needs a hero, and he’s just the man for the job.
Sasha laughs at a story Michael is telling about forgetting to get off of a ski lift. She says he totally knows his way around a mountain. She used to go skiing all the time, and he says maybe someday they could hit the slopes. She says, maybe. Does he know what she wants to hit now? He knows what he wants her to say, but doesn’t think that’s it. She says, the shower.
NuTJ (who I’m still not used to) says Molly was quiet on the walk over. She says she was thinking about the nutjob Kristina is involved with. He says, it’s not like it’s the first time she’s gone off the grid, but Molly says, it’s never been like this. Other times, at least she responded to texts, but it’s been radio silence. Alexis approaches, and says she’s been looking for Molly. Molly asks if Kristina is okay, and Alexis says, she will be. Molly asks what she means, and Alexis says she hasn’t been completely honest about Molly’s sister.
Neil explains to Kristina that the purpose of the circle is to create a space where all voices are of equal importance. There’s no hierarchy or leader. Kristina says if her voice was equal, she wouldn’t be a captive, and he’d let her go. Nice try.
At the MetroCourt, Sonny tells Carly that he just wants his daughter back. Who’s to say the deprogramming will work? Sam appears, and says it will. For Kristina, it has to.
Shiloh walks into the gym, which is not the start of a joke, and sees Jason near the heavy bag. He asks if he can have a go at it. Jason remains silent, and starts punching the bag. Shiloh laughs, and guesses he should take that as a no.
Sonny tells Sam there are other options. Kristina can’t be involved if the cult leader is gone. Sam thinks the only way for Kristina to unhook from it, is therapy. Carly wonders what if Kristina said something incriminating. Sonny says, at worst, she could have said he gave orders to have someone eliminated. It would be a lie, but she could have exaggerated to impress that dirtbag. Sam thinks the same thing, but if Shiloh exposed what Kristina said his crimes were, she’d fall apart. They have to find her pledge, and make sure it never sees the light of day. Sonny asks what her next move is, and Sam says, go to the house, and see what she can find. They wish each other good luck. Sonny says, they’ll need it. After Sam leaves, Carly says she thinks Sam has lost it.
Harmony looks through some folders. She crosses out Willow’s real name on one of them, and replaces it with Willow Tait. She looks at the picture of Kristina and Shiloh.
Neil admits to Kristina, however well-intentioned, kidnapping her was unfair. Out of curiosity, what would she tell a friend who was being held against their will by their loved ones? She says she can show him. She picks up Shiloh’s book, and reads, the problem lies within the person who’s afraid of an unresolved interior experience in dealing with loss. Neil says he’s unfamiliar with the material, and asks if she can tell him more conversationally. She says her parent’s history with loss makes them afraid of losing her. He thanks her for the clarification.
Michael and Sasha talk about their favorite places to ski. Sasha doesn’t want to sound snobby, but says she’d go with Aspen; the terrain is good. Michael says, the waffles are too. One time the place was closed, and he almost cried. She says she has to get back there, and Michael says he almost went this winter. He booked the trip, but his sister Avery’s nanny got sick, so there was no one to take Avery on the bunny hill. Sasha is impressed that Michael would cancel Aspen to take his sister on the bunny hill, and asks if he walks on water. He tells her to never underestimate toddler charm.
Doc takes a look at a paper inside the box, and tells Laura, it’s from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. It’s Chamberlain remains, not from Ryan Chamberlain. He tells Laura, a severed hand doesn’t necessarily mean a fatality. She asks if he thinks Ryan is out there, and he says, in her heart of hearts, doesn’t she? She doesn’t know. She tells him that she understands they still have issues, but believes they can work through them. She thinks that won’t happen until he moves back home. He says there’s nothing he’d love more, but doesn’t think he should until he does more work on himself.
Shiloh says Jason has made it clear that he’s hostile toward him and DOD. He’d considered that Jason kidnapped Kristina, but he was convinced otherwise by Sam. The more he trusts Sam, the closer they become.
Carly tells Sonny that Shiloh is supposed to believe Sam loves him. Now that freak is talking to Danny, and Jason has to put up with it. That’s how she sees it. Sonny agrees, saying, no one wants it over with more than he does, but if it helps Kristina recover by playing it out, he’ll do it. Shiloh will be dealt with.
Michael wishes he could stay, and Sasha asks if he’s riding to another sister’s rescue. He says, actually… and she asks if everything is okay. He hopes so. She tells him not to let her keep him, and asks if it’s cool for her to hang out. He tells her to stay as long as she wants, and writes down his number. She says, digits; it’s getting serious. He thinks maybe they can go to the gym again, or catch a movie; no expectations. She says she’s only in town until her mother’s wedding, but she’d like that. She’ll text him. He leaves, and she looks at the number and smiles.
Molly ask Alexis where her sister is, and Alexis says, she’s safe. She’s working on her issues, and that’s all she can tell Molly. Molly knows better than to press, and Alexis thanks her. All Molly wants is for Kristina to be normal again, and get away from that creep Shiloh. Alexis says that’s all she wants too; her three girls to be safe.
Neil tells Kristina that her family is waiting for permission to speak with her. Kristina says, they’re not known for their communication skills. They don’t hear or see her. He asks how he can help. Would it work for her if had a signal. She can say, she’s not okay with this, and he’ll stop and redirect the conversation to a more constructive place. She says, it sounds okay, and he asks if she’s ready. She tells him, go for it, but it won’t change anything.
Ava tells Scotty to sit. He asks if he should be nervous. She says, no. They’re friends; good friends. She’d venture to say he’s her best friend in Port Charles. He says, as opposed to some other location? She laughs and says he gets her. No one else ever has, and he’s never afraid to say what he really thinks. He tells her that she’s laying it on thick. He can see smoke coming out of her ears. What plan is she cooking up? She says, a plan in which he plays a key role. He asks what she wants him to do. She says, fall in love with her, and kisses him.
Ava says it’s not that farfetched. Scotty says he has feelings for her; he always did. Another place, another time; however, they’ve never kissed. He asks what she wants, and she says Ryan is alive. He tells her that if he thought that was true, he’d shackle himself to her, but Ryan is dead. She wishes that was true. She knows Ryan is obsessed with her, and knows she and Scotty have a close connection. She depends on him in times of need. If Ryan thought they were together, he would surely surface, and when he does, they’ll be ready. He asks if she’s serious, and she says she is. She wants justice for her daughter, and he can have the justice denied him when he prosecuted Ryan.
Sam goes into the DOD house. She sees the folders Harmony was looking at on an ottoman, quickly looks through them, and puts them back. Harmony walks in, and asks what she’s going there. She says she needs to see Shiloh. Harmony says she doesn’t know where he is. Sam sees Kristina’s folder under Harmony’s arm, and says she’ll wait. Harmony tells her to suit herself. Sam’s sorry if she interrupted Harmony’s project, and asks if she needs help. Harmony says it’s private material, far above her level, but thanks anyway. She goes upstairs, and Sam follows at a distance.
Shiloh tells Jason that Sam is learning the DOD courses faster than any student he’s ever had. Danny is incredible as well. He wonders if Danny will get his life outlook from his mom or be emotionally stunted like his father. Jason walks away, and Shiloh says he didn’t want a workout anyway. Jason has sweated enough for the both of them.
Harmony goes into Shiloh’s office. Sam puts an ear to the door, then ducks around the corner when Harmony comes back out. Harmony locks the door. When she’s gone, Sam tries it just to make sure.
Michael goes to the MetroCourt, and gives Carly a hug. She says he’s in a good mood. Would he care to share what contributed to that? He says she can ask, but he’s not answering. She says there’s a secret behind his smile, and he says it’s monumental. He’s grabbing coffee before he meet Sonny about Kristina. If there’s anything to know, she’ll be the first one he tells. She says that’s not nearly enough, but she’ll have to take it. He leaves, and she ponders.
Sonny tells Alexis that Michael is on his way. Alexis says she talked to Molly, but told her as little as possible. She knows Kristina is safe, but Alexis feel badly for not including her. She was the first one to recognize DOD was a cult, but she’ll just make Kristina defensive. Neil joins them, and asks if they’re still waiting for Michael. Sonny says he’ll be there soon. Neil says it’s important that they understand there are multiple steps in the process. Sonny and Alexis have strong, powerful personalities, and are used to being in control. They’ll have to leave that at the door. They’re not in charge, and can’t steer the outcome. Kristina recognizing that she can make decisions is critical to her recovery. If they can’t abide by that, they need to leave. Sonny says Michael is the most level headed of the group. Alexis adds, and the closest to Kristina. Neil says that doesn’t always work in their favor. Kristina already feels betrayed by being kidnapped, and they have to catch up. Are they ready to do the work? Sonny says, ready.
Laura asks Doc what kind of work he needs to do, and he says, on his arrogance; his God complex. Ryan always thought he was the smartest person in the room, and Doc thinks he shares that opinion of himself. She says he’s really been thinking about it, and he tells her he’s been talking to a colleague. She says, therapy, and he says, don’t’ knock it. Always being right gets in the way of life, and when taken to the extreme, leads to where they ended up. He wants no part of that grandiosity, and doesn’t want to make that mistake again. Laura says he won’t, but he wishes it was that simple. His justifications and explanations were just his ego, and it resulted in people getting killed, Lulu being attacked, and pain for everyone involved. Laura says he’s not the one who killed them. Doc says it’s not the same thing, but he was still destructive. He needs to confront and deal with these tendencies in himself, and acknowledge his faults and culpabilities. She says he doesn’t have to do it alone.
Laura tells Doc, anything she can do to help, she wants to do it. Doc asks if she’s not still angry at him, even a little. She says he made a mistake, but he’s a good man. The fact that he’s willing to face those parts of himself proves it. If it doesn’t interfere with his soul searching, she’d love it if he searched his soul at home. He says that’s why he didn’t tell anyone, especially her, that Ryan was alive. He knew she’d call him on it, and tell him to turn Ryan in. He didn’t want that, so he kept it from the person he loved most. He’s so sorry. She says she forgives him, and they hug.
Ava says Scotty must regret how the case turned out. He says he does. Felicia ended up in jail instead of Ryan. It was a travesty. Ava says she’s giving him a chance to fix it won’t do it. As much as he cares about her, right now she’s filled with grief, and jumping into the vodka bottle. She says she’s drinking coffee, but he says it’s just a matter of time. How many times has he picked her up off the floor since Kiki died? She says Ryan murdered her daughter because he could; for fun, or maybe he chose Kiki because she was Ava’s daughter. Scotty gets it. It haunts her. She says she needs to be the one to kill him. Look into the eyes of that sick, sadistic man, and tell him it’s for her daughter. Will he help her? Scotty doesn’t want to take advantage of the situation, pretending to be dating her. She tells him, take advantage of her. It’s his last chance. He suggests they get some fresh air, clear their minds, and come up with another plan. She tells him, if he doesn’t want do it, he needs to get out, and he leaves.
TJ tells Molly that he knows how much she loves her sister. He loves Kristina too. She has some great qualities. Molly says, but…? He says she’s had bad things happen to her. Kiefer was the worst, but she survived. She’s had the benefit of money, education, and the support of her family, but she’s never learned responsibility, and how to get herself out of trouble; bail herself out. Molly says Kristina thinks she’s taking ownership by joining DOD, but it’s the exact opposite.
Sam gets into the office, but hears Shiloh call Harmony. She leaves, closing the door behind her, and jets.
Neil says Kristina’s family is there to talk after agreeing to the basic ground rules. Kristina asks where Molly is. Alexis says after their recent friction, they thought it best she sit this one out. Kristina ask about Sam. She’s a DOD member and supports her. Is that why she’s not there? Neil says it’s not about defending points of view. It’s about Kristina’s needs and feelings. Alexis’s phone rings. She checks it and ignores the call. Kristina asks how they’re supposed to talk when Alexis can’t turn off her phone. Neil says that’s a good point. Why not start there.
Shiloh finds Sam in the living room, and she says she’s there to see him.
Laura says, marriage is a partnership, and it can’t always be Doc taking care of her. Sometimes she gets to take care of him. They save each other. She asks if he’ll come home. He kisses her, and thanks her. She says she didn’t do anything, but he says, yes, she did. She asks what he’s going to do with that thing, and he says take it to the morgue for starters; then destroy it. At least part of Ryan will be behind them. He’ll meet her at home. He needs to make a quick stop on the way.
At the MetroCourt restaurant, Sasha asks Carly if she can get something to go. Carly gives her a menu, and notices she’s wearing a sweatshirt from the gym. She says her husband owns that place, and asks how Sasha likes it. She says she had the best workout this afternoon. Carly says, good to know. I believe she’s put two and two together, and come up with Michael and Sasha.
Kristina says her mother’s phone shows a lack of respect. It’s like their entire relationship. That’s why she chose DOD. The way they communicate reflects her need to be heard. Sonny doesn’t get it, and Neil says communication is more successful when the speaker and listener both understand the message. Can she make that easier? She said her mother’s phone shows a lack of respect; how so? Kristina says, when it rings, Alexis disappears. Alexis says that’s not true, but Neil says if Kristina feels that way, it’s true to her. He asks her to restate how she feels the need to communicate. She says she hates when they talk. They never get past her mistakes. They love her, but she thinks they’re saying love her more if she was different. Neil asks how she feels when she leaves their conversations, and Kristina says, terrible; completely disconnected. At DOD, they only ask who she is now, and who she’s willing to be. She doesn’t feel lonely with them like she with her family. She starts to cry, and says she got tired of being lonely.
On the phone, Jason thanks Brick, saying, that’s what he thought. Carly asks what he found out. Jason tells her, residue from a narcotic was in the cup. She wonders what happened at GH, and he’ll give her one guess. She says, Shiloh.
Doc sees Ava at the MetroCourt bar. He was hoping to find her there. She says, dare she ask why? He says he’s had unsettling news about his brother.
Scotty runs into Laura at the hospital. He doesn’t mean to be insensitive, but asks if she’s seen Doc. She says he just left, and asks if something is wrong. He says, Ava is cooking up a plan to bring out Ryan, who’s dead as a doornail. It’s outrageous.
Michael tells Kristina that he brought her this, and gives her a keyring. She says, Mexico. He says they’re family is amazing, but it’s also big and complicated. There’s a lot of history, screw ups, baggage, you name it. Shiloh is offering something that seems positive and wonderful, but something he’s learned in business is, if something is too good to be true, it probably is. He takes her hand, and says she might not believe it, but he thinks she’s really smart and perceptive. She gets a read on people before anyone else. He knows if she really listens to what Shiloh is saying, beneath the flowery message, he’s saying, do what I tell you; trust me, not yourself. Michael misses her, and she says she misses him too. He says let him be there for her. Come home with him. God knows there’s plenty of room. Kristina says he doesn’t understand. She made a promise, and can never go back home.
Sam tells Shiloh that Harmony said he’d be back soon, so she decided to wait. There’s something she wants to say. He tells her that he always welcomes her thoughts. She says she’s been thinking about it, and wants to take the next step in her commitment to DOD. She wants to prove her faith in him is as strong as his faith in her. He says that’s good to hear. It’s almost time. Soon, she’ll be ready join his Trust.
Carly says, Kristina was drugged. She knows Jason isn’t taking the information to the cops, so what’s next. He says he’s going to handle Shiloh himself.
Scotty tells Laura, it’s a hair-brained idea. It would never work, but Ryan is dead. Laura says, if he isn’t, it’s a suicide mission. Anyone who takes her up on her offer is out of their mind.
Doc tells Ava that he knows the hand is disturbing, but he wanted her to hear it from him. He’ll take care of everything from now on. She can put his brother behind her. She doesn’t think she can, but they can use Ryan’s hand to bury him.
Tomorrow, Felicia tells Laura that their plan will draw Ryan out, Molly says Kristina has finally come to her senses, and Shiloh tells Sam she can take her place in his Trust.
Vanderpump Rules
Ariana sets up the bar at SUR. Tom says he’d help, but he’s no longer an employee. This is her first Brunch with Billie, and Tom tells her, get ready; it gets crazy. Lisa comes in and asks Tom what was up with that briefcase full of money. She thinks Schwartz is ridiculous. What was she supposed to do with that? Has he never heard of a cashier’s check? In her interview, Ariana says she respects Lisa as a businesswoman, but doesn’t like the way she’s been treating the Toms lately. We see clips of Lisa lecturing them at various times. Ariana says it’s starting to wear on her. She doesn’t understand the mentality. Um… I think it is a business mentality, since these guys can drift. Tom tells Lisa that James wants to talk to her, and she says, he always does. In Lisa’s interview, she says James thought it would be easy to get his job back, but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about him learning a lesson. At some point, she’ll talk to him. She tells Tom and Ariana that she feels like a therapist, and should have a couch.
Jax’s sister Jenny and her husband Patrick arrive at the apartment. In his interview, Jax says his sister is important to him. She’d give the sweater off her back for anyone; she’s like their dad. Jax points out a bottle of Fireball that their dad drank from. Since their mom won’t be at the engagement party, he’s glad Jenny is there. Brittany’s mom Sherri, and a slew of other relatives show up. In Brittany’s interview, she says she loves her family, and it means the world to her that they’re here. None of them have ever been to LA or even traveled that much. Hashtag: blessed. Dad Don prays over the food. It’s the first time Jax has seen him since the summer, and he feels intimidated, but isn’t bowing down for forgiveness. He says when he’s doing good and feels good, it shows. He has to make himself happy first. He jokes that he put all the furniture together, but then admits Brittany did, saying she likes doing it. Yeah. She probably reads the directions, and gets it right the first time. Baby Presley is there, and in his interview, Jax explains that he helped Jenny and Patrick raise money to have a baby in vitro a couple of years ago. We flash back to the fundraiser, and Jax saying he’ll match the total. He says they were very grateful, and he can basically say he bought them a baby.
Brittany talks about going dress shopping. Mamaw says despite their ups and downs, it’s worked out for good, and she loves them both. Jax brings out a box with his dad’s ashes in it, so he can join them. Brittany suggests putting the ashes in something nice, but he says he likes to bring his dad places. I… never mind.
Scheana tells Adam that she’d mentioned her friend Ethan is back in town, and he wants to make her dinner. Adam says he was being honest saying he didn’t care if she dated other people, but he stays at her place all the time. She says she doesn’t want that to change, and he asks if this guy is spending the night. In Scheana’s interview, she says Adam claims he doesn’t care if she dates or hooks up with someone else. Ethan wants to cook her dinner, so she’s calling his bluff. I’m guessing cooking dinner must be a euphemism for dinner and something else. She asks, if she and Adam are going out and having sex, why aren’t they dating? He doesn’t know if he wants to be exclusive, but he doesn’t want her to go out with other guys. So in other words, he has a double-standard. She says she just won’t post anything. Seriously, I’m confused as to what it is they are doing if that’s not dating.
Stassi, Kristen, and Katie wait for Brittany at the bridal shop. Kristen says Brittany is getting married in a castle, and wants the appropriate dress. They decide to each pick one out that they’d like her to try on. Stassi feels like she’s going to be a bridesmaid, but wonders if it’s awkward since Jax is her ex. Kristen thinks she’d make an amazing maid-of-honor because she has OCD obsessive energy that she’s willing to pour into the wedding. In her hope for attention, I guess Kristen is just going to overlook the fact that she and Brittany are not that close. Brittany arrives with all of her female relatives. Stassi says this is going to be the best day ever. There’s a welcome sign and hors d’oeuvres, and the girls have already started drinking. Brittany says she wants a fairytale wedding, In her interview, she says she’s thought about her wedding dress her whole life, and now it’s her turn. She had a My Size Wedding Barbie, and wore the gown all the time. A producer asks who she was marrying, and she doesn’t think anyone. She just got excited about the dress. Mamaw says she was married 54 years, and it seemed like a day. Was he away all the time? Katie thinks Stassi will be next. Sherri says she and Mamaw never gave up on Jax. They were with him the night his dad passed, and he said now he would be the man his dad wanted him to be. After that, they saw a change.
Jax and Jenny go to a tattoo parlor. (Sounds like a children’s book.) They want one of their father’s favorite sayings in his handwriting. Jax asks what Jenny thinks of Brittany’s family, and she says she loves them. He says there are more to come. He asks if she thinks it’s weird their mom isn’t there. Jenny says he has to go with how he feels. In his interview, Jax says he hasn’t talked to his mother since his dad died. Jax says she won’t be at the engagement party, and asks if Jenny is okay with it. Jenny says she didn’t tell them that their dad was in the ICU. In Jax’s interview, he says he can’t forgive his mom for not saying how sick his father was. Jenny says, even if it had just been a body, she would have wanted to say goodbye. Jax wonders if somehow their dad told her not to say anything. Jenny thinks he didn’t want to be a burden, but would have wanted them there. Jax says their dad claimed he would never set foot in a tattoo parlor, and here he is. Yes. Jax brought his ashes along. In Jax’s interview, he thinks he should get an urn, but wants to have his dad around. He says he’s gotten some amazing tattoos, and some not so amazing. Stassi was a bad choice, but Carmen was a terrible choice. The tattoo they’re getting says, make good choices, love you, Dad.
Brittany models a dress while wearing a tiara, Stassi says, the dresses are Disney princess AF. There’s basic Cinderella, sexy Ariel, fun and flirty Elsa. Like a stylish wedding Disney threw up – in the best way possible. In Brittany’s interview, she says she knew best friend Cara was going to be her maid-of-honor before she knew Jax would be her husband. The first dress is her favorite, but she wants try a few more first. She asks for Katie to come back with her. She tells Katie that Cara is going to be her maid-of-honor, but she’d like Katie to be her matron-of-honor. Since these kids are so well read and worldly, Katie isn’t sure what that means; she’s not an old matron. Brittany tries to explain it’s because she’s married, but Katie still seems confused. She wonders if she has to put on a bonnet and churn butter, but if it helps Brittany to have a better wedding, she’ll do it. Honestly, I love this show, but a lot of the cast is vacuous and/or socially inept. No wonder they have the need to band together, and now James and Raquel are wandering aimlessly, like there are no other people in LA to hang out with.
James asks SUR manager Monica where Lisa is. I swear there’s an audible sigh, and she tells him, in the garden. James hunts Lisa down, and says he found her. She says he’s sent twenty-three texts; obsessive much? He says he wants to talk to her about See You Next Tuesday. He has some good ideas, like an astrology laser space party kind of thing. She asks if he’s not understanding that he’s not working there. He says the girls are lazy, and didn’t even show up last Tuesday. She suggests he stop worrying about everyone else, and worry about himself. He whines, and she tells him not to act like a three-year-old. It’s the third time he’s been in this position. Does he think he’s changed? She asks if he’s drinking, and he says, a couple beers isn’t drinking. I’m pretty sure beer has alcohol in it, and that you can get drunk on it too. In Lisa’s interview, she says she made it clear that he has to be 100% sober if he’s going to work there, and he hasn’t proven himself. She tells him, alcoholism runs in families. His mother was honest about that. She notices his attention is wandering, and asks him to focus. He says SUR is his everything. He feels at home there, and grew something from scratch. He guesses this is the last time he’s asking. In James’s interview, he says he can’t believe he’s not being given one more chance. He guesses he needs to prepare for what’s next. Lisa tells him that he’s a person who should never drink again, and could screw up his future, but he’s not doing it there. James bounces.
Stassi, Kristen, Ariana, and Tom have dinner at TomTom. Ariana is glad to be there, enjoying the food and drink, and not tending bar at SUR. Ariana is annoyed about Lisa interrupting an interview by a food blogger. She was talking to Tom about how hard they were working, and Lisa asked if he told the blogger where they just were. She not only suggested they take a trip – we flash back to Lisa saying they’d better do it now, before the real work starts – when they got back, Lisa used it as an opportunity to trash the Toms. Since somehow Ariana wants to make this about herself, she says, in essence, Lisa is saying she’s an idiot to date someone who’s an idiot. In her interview, Ariana says they’ll never be equal to Lisa, no matter what they accomplish, but that doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be some level of respect. Tom says he and Lisa have never been closer, but he’s still a punching bag, along with Schwartz. Ariana thinks she should talk to Lisa at the engagement party. She’ll be respectful, but tell Lisa that she’s talking sh*t about her partners, when they’re good at what they do. There’s a reason she wanted to work with them; they’re awesome. In Stassi’s interview, she says, confronting Lisa is the worst. She’s done it. We flash back to that, and she says, legit, the idea of confronting Lisa is the best laxative ever. Ariana says, you can’t disagree with Lisa, or you’re on her sh*t list. Kristen nods so hard, her head is going to fall off.
Pup at TomTom! Adam joins them. Ariana says Scheana is on a date, and Adam says that’s what he hears. Ariana says Scheana has asked him five times if he minded, and he said no. He tells her that he doesn’t think he’s ready for commitment. Tom says if Adam needs help, let him know, even though he doesn’t know how he’d help. Adam asks if Tom wants to kill a guy for him, and Tom says, oh, Adam is mad at Ethan now.
Meanwhile at Scheana’s apartment, Ethan cooks. In her interview, Scheana says they met about a year ago, and hooked up once. She says, even though she’s thirty-three, but Botox makes her look twenty-five, so the young guys all want to go out with her. She does a Snapchat update. The girls at TomTom get the post, and Stassi feels uncomfortable. In her interview, she says, it’s awkward AF, and so Scheana, . Getting snaps of Scheana’s new date is enough to make a male model’s head explode. Ethan says it’s been two years since Scheana was married, and she says she’s just been doing her. Ariana tells Adam that Scheana sent a video, and he wants to see it. Scheana asks Ethan if he was ever in threesome. He says, um… what about her? In her interview, she says in her early Hollywood years, she had some fun times. Ethan toasts to the dinner. Scheana tells him that she was never that girl who needed to be married, and wants to be an independent woman. This, coming from the same woman who had her wedding photo blown up to the size of a wall. She asks how long he’s in town, and he says, three and half weeks. She asks if he wants to hook up again, and he says, if it happens, it happens. Tom asks Adam if he’d have a harder time being with her, or watching her go off with someone else. Adam says he tries not to think about it. It sucks and it’s uncomfortable AF. He’ll see how it goes. Tom says they’re definitely screwing. Scheana and Ethen make out on her bed.
Lala meets Lisa at TomTom. Lisa approves of Lala’s outfit, saying last time at SUR, she looked like she was sponsoring a brothel. Lala takes that as a compliment, but Lisa says she’s seeing a mature man, and she wants him to be proud of the way she handles things. She says she let Lala’s last outburst go. She could have raked Lala over the coals, but they’d both been through something tragic. However, it’s not permission to lash out. In her interview, she understands that Lala is having a hard time. The most important thing is for Lala to be proud of herself, and Lisa doesn’t think she would be, considering how she’s been behaving. She sees Lala’s loyalty, and thinks James benefitted from having her on his side. She can point him in the right direction. In Lala’s interview, she thinks she’s capable of offering direction to someone. If her dad was there to give her advice, he would say forgive and let it go, but it’s hard to do. She tells Lisa that she’s feeling sensitive to people today, so she’ll text him. Lisa tells her, grab those big ears, and shake him.
Brittany enthusiastically shows Jax her bridesmaids’ favors, even though he can barely pay attention. She already knows she wants Cara to be her maid-of-honor. She’s even thinking of a dance for the bridesmaids. She wants it all. The girls and one dude arrive at the restaurant. Brittany gets excited all over again greeting them. After they’re seated, she has them open a teeny message in a bottle, and Stassi marvels that Brittany made the tiniest scroll ever. Except maybe for that guy who puts things on the heads of pins. Brittany says, everything is on theme. The scrolls reveal the bridesmaids. In her interview, Brittany says the hardest thing was not knowing who to choose as a bridesmaid, and trying to pick. In Kristen’s interview, she says, clearly, she would be the best choice as maid-of-honor. She asks Brittany who’s walking with who. We don’t get that answer, but Brittany tells everyone that Cara is her maid-of-honor, and Katie is her matron-of-honor. In her interview, Kristen says that she’s jealous, but Cara had a twenty year head start, and Katie is married, so there’s that. Brittany has everyone open a gift box at the same time. Inside, is a rose under a glass dome. Stassi says, it’s just like Beauty and theBeast. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Jax is like the Beast; big, sweaty, and terrible manners. But the Beast loved Belle, and turned into Prince Charming, so you never know.
Lala asks talk to James outside. She wanted check up on him. A lot has come his way, and he crashed hard. She had a conversation with Lisa, and thought she should talk to him. He drifts, and she asks him to pay attention. She says she can’t stop giving a sh*t about someone, and wants to know where his headspace is. James says he’s good. He’s still working on himself. She tells him they can talk about the things she’s done to people, but wants him to know she’s not sitting on her high horse. She asks him again to pay attention, but he says it’s hard to make eye contact with someone he hasn’t spoken to lately. In his interview, he says he misses their friendship, but if he put this Lala next to that one, she’s a completely different person – for the worse. Lala doesn’t want to see him down and out, and getting kicked when he’s not fighting back anymore. He’s not the James she knows. She tells him when he wants to lash out, pick up the phone. James says he’ll probably call his therapist. Lala thinks he seems defeated, and sees him spiraling. She’s speaking from a place she’s been in on her own, and she doesn’t want that to happen to him. If he needs someone who understands, he knows her phone number. In her interview, Lala says he’s not ready to take ownership and accountability, but at some point, he has to own up to his own sh*t, look in the mirror, stop pointing fingers, and listen to her. He thanks her for the chat. In James’s interview, he says even if he wanted the friendship back, Lala isn’t the same, and he doesn’t trust her not to be how she’s been recently. He’s over it. He’s done.
Brittany introduces college friend Lyndi, and says Cara introduced her to Jax. Scheana is busy on her phone, and says Adam hates her, because now is the time to bring up Scheana stuff. Ariana asks how her date went, and after drawing this attention to herself, Scheana says, today is about Brittany. Brittany thought it was okay with Adam if Scheana dated. Scheana says he’s mad. What happened to, don’t ask, don’t tell? I’m double-minded here. She said she wouldn’t post about it, yet still sent the other girls a video, and basically rubbed his nose in it. But he also asked to see it when she sent it to her friends. He didn’t have to look. Either way though, he has every right to be mad. Katie says Adam has feelings for Scheana. Scheana says he hates her now, and he’s her best friend. Stassi says Scheana claims Adam is her best friend, and they’re also having sex. It’s a relationship. Scheana doesn’t want to talk about it. Brittany says her bridesmaid thing is over. Now it’s girl time, because she’s the loveliest human being on earth. Since Jax is a frontrunner in being the worst human being on earth, we’ll see if good ultimately triumphs over evil.
Jax brings future dad-in-law Don dad to TomTom. There are a bunch of brothers, but I only catch the names Wes and Blake. Jax says all he has to do is show up to the wedding, the way it is for most grooms. He thinks it seems like a lot of work. They’re in an open-air section, and Don says it’s a good thing it’s not raining. Wes or Blake says it rains money in LA. Don says it seems like the big rock Jax gave Brittany is important, but what’s important to him is the faithfulness behind it. In Jax’s interview, he says he knew this would happen. Jax admits it’s terrible that it took his dad’s passing for him to figure this sh*t out. Don says he screwed up royally, which didn’t please him at all, and probably no one else was pleased. Jax says he was going through personal issues. Don wants to know Jax is trying, and doing his best. That’s his concern. In his interview, Jax knows he screwed up, but how many times is he going to get the third degree? Jax brings up the bachelor party, and Don says, surely, he’s not invited. Jax says. bad things are going to happen. The brother I think is Wes, says if Jax screws up, they’ll make his life a living hell. Don asks if he got everyone’s blessing. Possibly Wes asks if he’s going to love and cherish Brittany the way they do. In his interview, inching forward in the running for worst human, Jax says he doesn’t know what decade they live in, or maybe it’s how they do things in Kentucky, that you always take care of your spouse. He clearly does not know the meaning of the word spouse either. He asks, what about him? Shouldn’t Brittany love and cherish him? and Wes (I think) says Brittany does love and cherish Jax. Jax says he’s not going anywhere, and maybe Wes says it comes down to how they talk to each other. Jax says it’s hard for him. He needs to have the last word. He says he loves Brittany more than anything, and because we can add stupidest human being on the earth, he adds he has to take care of himself first. He’ll always be number one.
Next time – the finale, and it’s a lot – Schwartz shows Katie a TomTom onesie, Scheana says Adam won’t speak to her, Ariana says she’s talking to Lisa, the engagement party happens, Raquel tells James that he has to change his approach with everyone, Lisa tells Ariana to lighten up, and Adam confronts Scheana.
👑 The Game In a Nutshell…
On Game of Thrones, it was the night before the war, and what might be the last night of anyone’s or everyone’s life. Brienne saved Jaime’s neck by vouching for him, and Dany and Sansa made nice because they both love Jon. Tormund showed up, and made googly eyes at Brienne. Arya saw that the Hound was back, but no more roadshow for them. Arya is all growed up now, and since it might be their last night, wanted to know what it was like – with Gendry. When she started asking him for his sexual history, I was like, is she…? Yes, she was. Tyrion noted the irony that most of them had fought the Starks at one time or another, and now they were defending them. Tormund didn’t understand why Brienne couldn’t be a knight, and Jaime pointed out that you didn’t need a king to knight someone, only another knight. Brienne of Tarth became a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, and we all got misty-eyed. Podrick sang a song around the campfire, and Missandei kissed Grey Worm goodbye. Then the hard part. Jon told Dany about his heritage. She acknowledged that if it was true – only his best friend and brother had confirmed it – that he would be heir to the Iron Throne. But before there could be further discussion and reaction, everyone got called off to war. The dead had arrived.
🙇 Best quote: Jaime: Everything I did, I did for my house and my family. I’d do it all again. Bran: The things we do for love.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 