Category Archives: nighttime drama

May 16, 2017 – Nelle is Found, Julius Visits Randal, Naked People on a Boat & Some Extra Stuff

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Michael sees Nina at the MetroCourt and asks if she’s spoken to Nelle, but she hasn’t, and she hasn’t checked her messages. He says she might want to listen to the message Nelle left; she’s quitting. Charlotte comes running up to Nina. Lulu has her there for ice cream. Lulu tells Nina that no one picked Charlotte up from school, so they called her. Nelle was a no-show.

That’s because she’s unconscious on the docks.

Elizabeth and Franco bring the boys home. Franco tells Jake that he totally scored with his magic act, and they’ll open the rest of the presents tomorrow, when Jason and Sam are there. Ack. This show has a bit of a problem with continuity at times – they said they were doing that yesterday. Elizabeth and Franco go to the kitchen, and Jake tells Aiden not to tell anyone what he saw, not even Cameron. It’s a secret.

Griff is washing up, since we have to see him shirtless as often as possible. He makes a call to Anna and leaves a message. He says he wants to make sure she’s taking care of herself, and if she needs anything, he’s there.

In London, Anna tries to speak, and the doctor calls for a sedative. He prepares the injection, and she says, no, it’s a mistake. He tells Sister Caroline that the patient has to be sedated at all times.

We revisit fake Anna and Valentin’s scene from yesterday. She says she only wants him, and he rips the chimera necklace off of her. He says she just wants the Chimera, and after all this time, he’s a step ahead of her. She squawks about the necklace, and he says that can be fixed, but the watch probably can’t. He tells her that it’s just as well. He doesn’t want anyone listening in on what’s going to happen.

The doctor tells Sister Caroline that the patient is disoriented, and he doesn’t want her causing herself harm. He tells Caroline to do her job and he’ll do his. In her mind, Anna tells herself not to give in and to fight it.

Valentin says the watch explains how “Anna” knew where and when to find him, and why she didn’t want to take the watch back. She admits to spying on him, and says he’s created the life he’s wanted for himself. It includes Nina and Charlotte, but it’s the illusion of a family. They come from the same place and have made the same compromises. Nina will never understand, and maybe that’s why he wants more. Within their lies is a truth that Nina can never understand. Valentin says he understands she wanted the Chimera so much, she was willing to trash his life, so good luck seducing it out of him.

Jake tells Aiden that he wasn’t supposed to see it, and Jake is the only one who can use it. Elizabeth and Franco come back in. Elizabeth thinks Aiden is tired, so she sends him upstairs. Jake won’t let Franco touch the box, saying a magician never gives up his secrets. Franco says he has a point. Franco asks if he wants to do an encore of last year for the Nurses Ball, but Jake wants a solo. He’s going to do magic.

Griff sees Charlotte at the bar eating ice cream. I guess Port Charles has no laws prohibiting children sitting at bars like like we do IRL. He tells her that he and her father had angry words, but he didn’t mean to scare her. He asks if they can be friends. Charlotte says she’s supposed to be polite to him. He asks if he can join her.

Lulu doesn’t understand why Valentin can’t be bothered to pick up his messages. Nina says he was otherwise engaged. She asks Lulu if she didn’t want to spend more time Charlotte. They all wonder where Nelle is. Michael leaves to find out. Lulu says Nina is being quiet, and Nina says her feelings are none of Lulu’s business. Lulu says as Charlotte’s mother, she has a right to know what’s going on, and she’d care less about Nina’s life if it didn’t impact her daughter’s.

Charlotte shares her ice cream with Griff. She shows him a flyer for a spring festival at her school. He thinks she should invite everyone. She says she’ll invite him if he doesn’t fight with her poppa. He apologizes for losing his temper, and asks her to forgive him.

Nina tells Lulu sorry that she’s not getting dramatic, but she’s trying to show Charlotte that when things don’t go your way, you adjust and move on. Michael comes back, telling them that the housekeeper at Windemere hasn’t seen Nelle, even though all of her things are there, and Nelle isn’t answering her phone. He wants to go out to Windemere, and Nina tells him to call them when he finds out anything. Nina says she doesn’t have time to deal with Lulu. Lulu says Charlotte thought her father left her like Claudette did. Nina says he would never do that. Lulu says to tell Valentin it’s going to cost him. Nina says tell him herself, because she’s not going back to Windemere.

Elizabeth asks if Jake feels better about things. Franco says he was on the island and it’s a scary place. Jake says he’s not scared anymore. Franco suggests he practice some magic.

Sister Caroline says she’s grateful for the doctor saving “Alex’s” life. He tells her that he doesn’t need her gratitude, just her cooperation. Anna thinks, just help me, and Caroline tells her not to fight it, and just rest.

Valentin says “Anna” didn’t care about the reach of the Chimera when she asked him to steal it, now she’s using her powers for good? She says it’s for them. He calls her delusional and arrogant. (Who else is delusional and arrogant? Keep thinking.) She says their pull toward each other is stronger than the lies they tell themselves. He’s still alive because she cared about him. She gets testy about the Chimera, and says just tell her where it is, so it can be over. Then she corrects herself, saying then they can be together, if he wants.

Lulu asks Nina if there’s trouble. Nina says she’s going to be working into the night, and so is Valentin. Griff joins them with Charlotte, and tells them he was invited to the spring festival. Nina says it’s Charlotte’s night, and she can invite whoever she wants. Charlotte goes to get her backpack, and Lulu says Charlotte is coming home with her.

Michael calls out for Nelle at the docks. He sees the crates toppled, and finds her. He tells her she’s going to be okay, and calls 911. Yeah. You’re the jerk who left her there alone in the dark, when there have been 47 murders there.

Franco shuffles the cards. Elizabeth picks one. Jake says don’t show it to him. He makes the correct guess, a queen of hearts. Franco says they’re all queens, and turns them over. Sure enough, they are. Jake says not all, and tells Franco to look in his wallet, where he finds a king of hearts. Jake says a magician never tells his secrets, and goes upstairs. Franco says he must have done it at the park, and Elizabeth says maybe he can do magic. They agree it’s good to see him acting normal.

“Anna” tells Valentin that it’s always been about them and what they need. Passion and betrayal goes hand in hand. If he didn’t want it as much as she did, he wouldn’t have let Nina leave. She talks about what she heard when listening in, and says the marriage was never going to last, because Nina doesn’t know who he really is. He tells her to stop it. She asks if he’s going to kill her or make love to her. I was actually hoping for him ripping off her mask.

Nelle is brought into the hospital. Michael says she came to briefly and seemed to recognize him, but he thinks she was attacked. Her purse and phone are nowhere to be found. He tells them she only has one kidney. Griff wheels her in.

Nina tells Lulu not to be ridiculous; Charlotte is coming with her. Lulu asks if she’s going to sleep on the office floor, and says she’s taking her home. Nina says if the judge finds out, Lulu is going to have a problem, but Lulu says the judge will see that Valentin’s perfect life isn’t so perfect. Nina says they didn’t call her, and Lulu says that’s because she’s not Charlotte’s mother. Nina says she couldn’t love Charlotte more if she’d given birth to her. Lulu says she should want what’s best for Charlotte then.

Franco moves in for a kiss, but Elizabeth is like, not now. He says she was glad to see him at the park, but she says the problem is that he lied. He says he just left out some details. She says she thought they were in it together, and he tells her that she would have tried to talk him out of it. They argue a little, say I love you, and kiss.

“Anna” asks why Valentin is doing this, when what they want is to be together. He says they don’t always want what’s best for themselves. She asks what’s the alternative, deny what they want? She says separately, they’re forces to be reckoned with, but together, they’re unstoppable. No more games. He says she’s right. Game over. She loses.

Caroline tells real Anna, sorry, and calls her Dr. Merrick. Anna thinks she has to resist, but the more she fights, the weaker she becomes. She tells herself it’s like a current, and to slip away and rise to the surface. She tries to mess with the tube in her arm, and Caroline starts to call for Dr. Lancaster, but Anna grabs her arm.

Elizabeth says that Franco was trying too hard to protect her, and he says that she was trying too hard to protect him from Jason. He says whatever should come up in their lives together, he’ll trust her. She says from now on she’ll trust that he can take risks. He thinks they’re good at the relationship thing. They kiss some more, and Jake comes downstairs.

Charlotte says she’s ready to go home. Lulu asks if she’d like to spend night. Nina says she and Charlotte’s poppa are both working late, and she can do a sleepover. Charlotte agrees and leaves with Lulu.

Anna wonders why she’s there at the hospital. Caroline says Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat. Anna says that’s not right, and Caroline says she’s just disoriented and she’ll get the doctor.  Anna says, please don’t. She’s not Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

“Anna” tells Valentin there’s still a way they can both win. Tell her where the Chimera is, and they’ll both be free and be equals. They’ll be two people who understand each other. Valentin tells her that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, but he says that’s not true. It’s really drinking the same poison over and over, and thinking you can handle it. He’s been addicted to her, but he’s cured now. She says just like that, and he says it’s like a fever broke, and he knows what he has to do. He grabs a scarf and begins to wrap the ends around his hands, saying she’s pushed him too far. He comes toward her.

Michael remembers his last conversation with Nelle, and telling her she had no reason to stay. Griff is concerned with potential kidney trauma.

Jake forgot his magic box. Elizabeth says they’ll be back after tucking Aiden in. When they’re gone, Jake opens the box.  He takes out the Chimera. He says he wishes he was a real magician, because he’d make it disappear and would never have to think about it again.

Caroline tells Anna that she’s Alex Merrick. Anna says she doesn’t know how she got here, but the doctor is in on it. Caroline says this is her clinic, and that the doctor will explain everything. Anna stops her, and says she’s not sick. She’s being held against her will and Caroline has to help her. Dr. Lancaster overhears and makes a mean soap opera face.

Nina looks at her ring. She remembers Valentin giving it to her. Valentin walks in, and says he has so much to tell her. She asks if he was with Anna. He says he was, and thanks her for forcing him to admit what he knew all along – Anna was playing him. He says she won’t be coming between them again – ever.

Tomorrow, Valentin says he’ll get Nina to trust him again, Lulu says life is full of unexpected surprises, Martina tells Sonny that he has the most to lose, and Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on.

If Loving You is Wrong

The officer, whose name no one ever says, tells Kelly he has a warrant for her DNA. She says she had nothing to do with Ramses’ murder, but he says since she’s been in the house, they need to exclude her. Kelly starts to argue, and he says they have to eliminate everyone who was there. Kelly says she’s not doing anything without a lawyer; she doesn’t trust him. He asks if her temper gets her in trouble. He tells Kelly that she can call her lawyer, but he has an actual warrant, and asks what it’s going to be. She says fine, take it. She sees Travis and is like, wth?

Commercial break with vital information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on June 20.

Travis says that he got a call from his parents that he was wanted at the station. Kelly starts making a fuss, so Rick takes her to get the test done. The officer tells Travis that he didn’t listen to Rick when he told Travis to stay away from Kelly, so stay away. Travis insists she wanted him to pick up Justice, and asks if he has to call every time Kelly wants a favor. The officer doesn’t understand why he would help her if she’s so crazy. Travis says he’s a child of God and she asked for help, and the officer says even God wants him to use common sense. Travis says he has the evidence. The officer says he has a restraining order against her too, so stay away from both Kelly and Justice, and block her number. Travis asks if he can go, and the officer tells him have a nice day, but won’t shake his hand. Officer No-Name and I didn’t start off on the right foot, but he’s growing on me. I have the feeling he’s thinking more than he’s saying.

Kelly asks the officer if he’s just going to let Travis leave. He says he told Travis to stay away from her and block her number. She asks what happened to serving and protecting. He says he’s seen this kind of situation go bad. She says she hasn’t done anything. He says, sorry. She walks out, and he calls after her, saying that she should really let this go.

Esperanza is watching the kids in the park. She calls Kelly, and asks what happened. Kelly says she doesn’t want to know. Esperanza tells her that she has Justice. Kelly asks why Alex is always leaving people’s children, and Esperanza says they both called and texted her five times. Kelly tells her about how Travis was let go. Esperanza says ever since the captain’s been gone, nothing has been done right, so she’s going to check into it. Kelly says the officer gave him a warning, but Travis isn’t going to listen. She says she’s never had a man like this before. Esperanza says she has, and Kelly is doing all the right things. She asks about the restraining order, and Kelly says she has to get a new lawyer. She tells Esperanza about them wanting DNA because she was in Ramses’ house. Esperanza says she had to do it once, and it’s normal procedure. Esperanza offers to drop off Justice, and Kelly says she’ll watch Alex’s kids until she gets home. I have to add that Esperanza is not dressed like anyone dresses to play with kids in the park. She’s wearing a tight sweater that couldn’t be cut any lower, and velvet pants. And boots. I didn’t notice what kind of heels they had. I was too busy staring at her cleavage. Geez.

Natalie’s phone rings. It’s a collect call from Joey in prison. He says he’s sorry, and asks how she is. She asks if they’re taking care of him, and he says he’s fine. He tells her that it’s his fault; he shouldn’t have carried the gun. She says he shouldn’t have, but she’s glad he did. If he hadn’t had the gun, he’d be dead. She tells him she loves him, and he says he loves her too. She tells him everything is going to be okay, and she’s getting him out of there. He says that would be great, but he just wants her to be happy. The recording tells them one more minute. Natalie says he makes her happy, and Joey thanks her for saying that. She says he was doing good. He could have gone back out on the streets, but didn’t; she’s proud of him. They have thirty seconds, and say another I love you. Natalie says she’ll see him soon, and he says he’ll be waiting. She hangs up, and starts to cry.

Lushion comes in, and Natalie says she’s all right. He says no she’s not, but it’s okay. He tells her to take a break, but she says she has too much to do. He says to let it go and let her heart break. She cries on his shoulder. He says he’s got her, and rocks her like a baby. Lushion is the best.

There’s a knock at Randal’s door. It’s Julius. Randal and I make the same astonished face, and Randal says it’s a surprise. Julius asks to come in. He says that Randal has done something different with the house, but Randal says he just had the carpets cleaned. There are no carpets, so I don’t know what to think about that. Do you send carpets out to be cleaned? Julius tells Randal that his father cut him out of the will, and it’s because Randal gave the attorney an evaluation of him. He reads from it. It says, among other things, that he’s a narcissist, and for his own good, shouldn’t be in control of anything without a trustee. Randal says he’s sorry. He and Julius Sr. had a history; he’d testified in a lot of his court cases. Julius says his father is gone now, but he’s going to give Randal an opportunity to right this wrong. He wants him to rewrite the evaluation. Randal says sure. Julius says make sure he gets it to the attorney, who’s his attorney now.

Julius says he heard some racist wanted to hang Randal. Randal says it’s true. Julius says if the evaluation had gone to the court, he would have wished they’d succeeded. He changes his mind, saying that he’ll pick up the evaluation himself. Randal says he’ll have it by tomorrow, and the next one will be so much better. He tells Julius that his attorney will have to sign and notarize it. Julius says when his attorney’s hand is better, he will, explaining that he was stabbed with a letter opener. He asks Randal if they’re friends, and Randal says sure. Julius hugs him. He tells Randal, burn him again, he’ll be the one who hangs Randal. Randal isn’t having the best week, but that’s okay with me.

Eddie bursts into Brad’s office. Brad asks Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie gets loud about Lushion banging Brad’s wife. He tells him on top of it, Lushion is undercover FBI. Brad tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says he’s working on proof. Brad says he has a client coming, and Eddie has to leave. Alex walks in, and Eddie wastes no time in calling her a slut. Brad says Eddie is leaving, but Eddie says he’s not letting her work her snake charm on him, because he doesn’t understand what a snake charmer does. Brad pushes him out the door and I laugh. Eddie is a borderline comic character to begin with, since he’s so ridiculous.

Brad tells Alex, sorry, and asks what’s up. She says she doesn’t know; she doesn’t even know why she’s there. She just wanted to see him. She says she’s sorry. She knows she’s said it a million times, and Brad says they both have. She says he didn’t do anything, and he says he called her parents. She says she did that too. He asks what now, and she says she wants to thank him for saving her son. He tells her she’s welcome. She knows the kind-hearted man she fell in love with is still in there, and wants to thank him.

Idiot Eddie comes back in with Marcie. Brad pushes him back out the door again, and I laugh again. Brad asks what Marcie is doing there. She says she came to take him to dinner, and calls him her handsome lover. Brad says he told her to stop doing this. Alex says bye, and Marcie taunts her as she leaves. Brad asks why she’s doing this, and she says, sorry. Brad tells her that he can’t go to dinner, and Marcie asks what Alex wanted. Brad says she thanked him for saving her child. I wonder why Marcie acts like she’s high half the time. He tells her he has to get back to work, and she leaves. Someone get Brad some Tylenol.

Pete calls Lushion and asks if it’s true that Andrew is missing. Lushion says it is, and Pete asks if it was Eddie. Lushion thinks it was, and Pete says he has to be stopped. Lushion is thinking it needs to go to the FBI, but thinks they’re already on to it. He asks Pete why he thinks the FBI guy is outside his door. Pete asks about the tape, and Lushion says they couldn’t find it. He tells Pete that the most important thing is stopping Eddie. Lushion says the FBI is already outside his door, but if he wants to, go for it. Pete says they have to find Andrew, and Lushion says they’re trying. Pete thinks Ben might know. He was outside trying to distract the officer when Eddie tried to put a needle in Pete’s IV. Lushion says to make sure he tells them that too. Pete thinks Andrew might be dead, since Eddie is a stone-cold killer. Lushion tells him to tell the officer everything, and says he’ll drop by later.

Randal goes to Marcie and Brad’s apartment, with the excuse that he brought her mail. He talks about what a dump it is and she says it’s better than a shed for sex. She tells him to get out, but he won’t leave. He asks what’s in the other room. She says the bed where they have sex every night, now go. He says he’s not done yet, and she says fine, he can watch how she greets Brad. Randal says if she has to say how great he is, he must be terrible. Marcie says she used to say the same about him, and pretends to fake it. She says it’s called acting, and asks why he’s there. He thought she might want to know the child might not be his after all. She doesn’t care. He says it might be Lushion’s and she tells him to get out with all of it. She says he’s trying to get her to make trouble for Natalie, but he says he already told her, and he’s surprised they didn’t break up. Marcie says they’re solid, and he says maybe Natalie isn’t as “ghetto-dumb” as he thought. Randal says it smells like broke in the apartment, and Marcie says in a minute it will smell like glorious sex. She says next time he wants to spread a lie, find someone stupid. He tells her he misses her and that she must miss it. She tells him to get out. He finally leaves.

Kelly has a flat tire. She changes her shoes, saying if it’s not one thing, it’s another. She opens the trunk and Travis pops out, scaring us both. He throws her down, and puts his hand over her mouth. He asks why she went to the cops, and threatens to kill her. She struggles and tries to scream, and he puts one hand over her mouth and the other on her throat.

Next time, Lushion can’t get anything out of Alex about Andrew, Brad talks to Alex, and Lushion tells Eddie to get out of his face. There’s one more episode before the finale.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We flash back to the crew’s night out and Bobby going apesh*t on Hannah for basically no reason. She asks what she’s done to him, and he says she threw him under the bus. Malia says they weren’t talking about him, but he doesn’t believe it. Hannah keeps asking what she said, and he finally closes the door in her face. She calls him a steroid injected d*ckhead, and says she’ll be remembering the conversation for a long time.

In the morning, Hannah and Malia whisper about what happened. Hannah says sometimes Bobby’s ego gets overly inflated, and Malia is like, sorry. Meanwhile, Bobby is talking smack about Hannah to the deckhands. Hannah tells Lauren that Bobby went psycho. Lauren says she doesn’t remember Hannah ever saying anything bad about him. In her interview, Lauren tells us that she was supposed to go on a date with Bobby, and he brought a couple of other girls along. They ran into Hannah, who couldn’t believe it, and told Lauren it was disrespectful. That never happened to me, but I’m pretty sure if it had, I would not have gone on the date.

The primary guest is a dude named Jim aka Mr. Skin, who has a website devoted to nakey celebs. His wife Michele and some key employees will also be in attendance. Hannah remembers the Tilted Kilt cruise, and how it didn’t end well with one of the crew members. As usual, there are a million dietary restrictions, which are different for everyone, and the guests also want to film a naked news segment.

Bobby tells Lauren that he wants to talk to Hannah, but Lauren doesn’t want to get involved. He says it’s happening, and she tells him to work it out with Hannah himself. He says he’s pulling her in and she’d better have his back. Bobby put the d in d-bag.

Chef Adam goes shopping at the outdoor market. Supplies are brought on board. In her interview, Hannah says there’s no coming back from the altercation with Bobby.  Wes almost puts regular cardboard in the microwave.

Bobby apologizes for insulting Hannah, BUT (Dr. Phil would say that negates the apology) says all he could think about is her trashing him to Lauren. Hannah says all she told Lauren was that it was unfair of him to bring other women on their date. A-hole Bobby calls Lauren to come to the deck. He’s annoyed that Hannah called him aggressive. Maybe he doesn’t know what that word means, because his picture is the definition. Lauren joins them, saying to call her the liar. She says they were drinking, and she doesn’t even remember what was said. She asks why he’s so upset, and he says the two of them are playing games. Lauren asks to go back to her work, and Bobby asks why she doesn’t go screw Ben. Ben gets my vote, but where did that come from, especially since he’s not on this charter?

In his interview, Bobby talks about taking Lauren somewhere, and her leaving with Ben. That actually sounds like poetic justice, considering that he brought extras to their date. Hannah says this has nothing to do with her, but Bobby insists they’re conspiring against him. Lauren calls Ben. She tells him she’s getting along great with Hannah. In her interview, she says that she and Ben hit it off, and he’s more her type than Bobby. She tells Ben about Bobby being a jerk, and telling her to go off with him. She tells Ben she misses him, and he says ditto.

Bobby calls his mommy. He tells her he’s been blindsided and duped. He says he got screwed over by Lauren. His mother’s heart is broken. In his interview, he tells us that he took this job to meet women. How’s that workin’ for ya? He starts bawling about some woman named Alex. He claims her mother thought he didn’t make enough money. His mom heaps him with praise, and makes raise-the-roof hand gestures.

Hannah has a stew meeting. She explains what Mr. Skin does, how tacky it is, and tells them there’s going to be a naked news filming.

Captain Sandy wants to make sure the deckhands can drop anchor successfully, and has them practice. In his interview, Bobby says that the captain doesn’t get on you when you make a mistake, but you feel it, and it’s worse. I translate that to mean it’s tough for Bobby to actually work and do things right.

Malia chats with Wes while they hose off the deck. Bugs gets a call from her mother. Her grandmother has passed away. Hannah says whatever she needs, she has. The captain talks about losing her mother when she was on a boat, and tells Bugs she’s there for her. In her interview, Bugs tells us how close they were, and how she wants to pull herself together, because it’s what her grandmother would want.

Everyone gets ready to greet the guests. After they arrive, Hannah does the tour. Lauren wants to stay as busy as possible to keep her mind off of idiot Bobby. Captain Sandy instructs the deckhands, while Mr. Skin instructs his employees about the photos he wants. Adam chops fruit. Hannah gives him a list of guest demands. All gluten free. The guests begin to film, and the captain is concerned about a family-centric boat coming past.

Lauren says it’s awkward with Bobby, who’s going out of his way to ignore her. Bugs is asked for help with a shot at the hot tub, and says there are unmentionable parts staring her right in the eyeballs. Wes is hoping not to mess up the anchor with all the naked ladies around.

The lunch table isn’t naked, and is beautifully adorned with a beach theme. Lunch is served. One of the guests is mistakenly served octopus when she opted out of that, but chooses not to get a replacement dish. She says that Adam’s cooking is so good, she might become a convert. Mr. Skin mentions a breast reduction, and one of the women doesn’t understand why anyone would do that. Bobby says you can’t not look.

Bobby wants Malia to know the fun Bobby instead of the pissed off Bobby. That should last all of five minutes. Max is impressed with how well Bugs is holding up. It’s dinnertime. In his interview, Adam says he’s never eaten raw, as one guest has requested, but if something makes him uncomfortable, bring it on. Lauren thinks Bobby has built up resentment from before. Another gorgeous table and meal is presented.

Lauren asks to talk to Bobby. She hates confrontation, and wonders if he wants a hug or milkshake. In her interview, Bugs says losing her grandma is one of many challenges, and she’s proud of how she held up. Lauren tells Bobby that she’s sorry she hurt him, however she hurt him. He says he jumped to conclusions about Hannah talking smack about him. Lauren says so did she, confusing Bobby. That’s probably not hard, but it does sound like she’s waffling. She tells him that he needs to own up to things. He’s 31 and a grown-ass man. He got drunk, and attacked both her and Hannah. They end up with no resolution and time wasted. No surprise. I don’t like the way Lauren is playing both sides – no doubt to avoid a conflict, but just making it worse – but Bobby is one of those people who will never admit he’s wrong.

Captain Sandy wants a rock to tie on; it helps to create a private sanctuary among the cliffs for the guests. Bobby complains to Wes in the crew mess. Lauren suggests they take it to their room instead of making it awkward. In the galley, Lauren asks if she can talk to Hannah. Hannah jokes around, asking Adam what he did to her. They go out on the deck, and Lauren tells Hannah about Bobby talking smack to the deckhands about her, making her uncomfortable. In her interview, Hannah says she has no time for tears and tantrums, but she’s concerned with Lauren’s well-being at work. She tells her not to let it affect her mentally.

Another glorious meal happens. Max and Wes go out to put a chain on the rocks they’ll anchor to. The guests are impressed with the location, which is beyond beautiful, with a private grotto. Bobby is stressed because he knows the captain is watching. She tells them excellent job. More food! A sink starts to overflow. Adam, Hannah, and Malia all help Lauren, who is desperately bailing water out of it. Hannah says it’s their job to make sure the guests don’t know what’s happening. The water finally starts to recede.

Some guests take photos and others play in the water. The wind picks up, and the boat is getting too close to the cliffs. Captain Sandy wants Max to push the boat with the tinder, but he seems to be ignoring her.

Next time, Lauren thinks it’s unfair, Adam gets stressed and snippy, and there are issues with the anchor chain.

🍸 I checked out What Happens at The Abbey. It looks like a trash heap. The Abbey is a celebrity bar in Hollywood that’s gone through several incarnations. One bartender tells us if you have a dream, it’s the place to make it come true, but I find that hard to believe. Another says it’s the only place where a lesbian and a straight woman will fight over who’s going to have a gay man’s baby. I’ll take their word for it. Some guy named Daniel tells us he started the man bun, and I hate him already. After the first couple of minutes, I wonder if I can even watch this, and then Brandi Glanville walks in, and I’m pretty sure I can’t. She’s just as creepy as ever. As a matter-of-fact, most of these people seem creepy. And needless to say, extremely into themselves. There was an upside when Tori Spelling arrived. I’ve loved her ever since I saw her in Trick. If you’ve never seen that movie, I highly recommend it, especially if you like musicals. The plot revolves around a gay guy who’s writing a musical, and Tori is his best friend. She also has the Best. Monologue. Ever. Said guy, played by Christian Campbell, is also trying to get his date alone, but everything possible happens to thwart them. It’s very sweet and clever, and his song that keeps cropping up, Enter You, will be your ear worm forever. The fact that I got so off track just goes to show how bad The Abbey is, and how I want to get it out of my mind as quickly as possible.

🚛 I also watched one of my favorites, Hoarders. I also love Hoarding: Buried Alive, but, same thing. They were airing quite a few of them, and the last episode I caught showed two fails, which is unusual. One was a woman who was of the mindset that when the world was in its last days, people would come to her for stuff. Because we’ll all need moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She just wouldn’t accept that she had a mental disorder or accept the help, although for a while, they moved things from pile to pile. At the end, Corey talked about her victim mentality, and that she’ll have the perverse satisfaction of thinking that she’s been screwed over again. The other hoarder was also a woman, and they were able to clear out her place, but she wasn’t happy because of what she had to give up. More moldy blankets and broken birdcages. She had a really cute home when it was over too. I thought it was brave of the program to air unsuccessful efforts.

Why should they have to lose any more than they’d lost?Hoarding: Buried Alive

May 14, 2017 – Once Upon a Grand Finale, Atlanta’s Secrets Revealed & Happy Mother’s Day!

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Once Upon a Time – Two-hour Finale

A guy runs through the forest. He’s being chased by something large. He goes into a cabin, and tells a little girl that she has to run and make sure it stays safe. He says she may be the realm’s only hope to escape the darkness. He tells her that she has to get to safety and share the stories; he’ll stay and fight. She says no one will believe her, but he says someday they will. She leaves, and he draws his sword. Something huge bursts through the door.

In Storybrooke, the Black Fairy’s curse has arrived. Hook wonders where it’s taking them, and Emma says wherever it is, they’ll win.

Henry sits on a roof – alone. He goes down to the street. He sees Archie with Pongo. He asks what the Black Fairy’s curse did, and Archie says he thought they were past all this, and asks if he needs to make an appointment. Henry asks where his mom is, and Archie says the same place she’s been for the last two years.

Emma paints in a class. A nurse comes in and says her son is there for a visit. Yeah, thought so. She’s in a psyche ward. They hug. He says he couldn’t find the rest of their family. She tells him that she’s fought for her progress, and she’s not going down that road again. She says none of them are real, there’s no curse, and it’s just a regular town. Henry tells her that this is how the Black Fairy cursed her, but she says she just wants to get well. She says he tried to prove the stories were real by eating a poisoned apple turnover, and ended up in the hospital, but Henry says that’s not the way it went. The nurse brings Emma’s medication, but Henry doesn’t want her to take it. He shows her the book. She says his mother is going to make him stop visiting if he doesn’t knock it off.

The Black Fairy (Fiona in this realm) approaches. She takes the book, saying that nothing but trouble comes from it. She tells Henry to get to school. He hugs Emma, and whispers in her ear, saying whatever Fiona wants her to do, don’t. He leaves, and Fiona tells Emma to take her medicine. She does.

Everybody else is waking up on a palace floor, dressed in their back-in-the-day outfits. Hook calls for Emma, but Regina says she’s gone. David says it’s their palace. Snow adds that it’s where they got married right before they were cursed. She says curses have never stopped them before.

Archie and Fiona meet with Emma. Fiona says as mayor, she’s concerned about her residents, but Emma says she’s fine. Fiona says Archie’s reports are encouraging, and there may be a release soon. She suggests Emma go back to Boston. She says that she’s not just concerned about Emma’s well-bring, but Henry’s. Emma might be Henry’s biological mother, but now Fiona has a 14-year-old who still believes in fairytales. I guess she’s the Regina of this realm. She says the book has given her an idea. She wants Emma to burn it to show Henry that she doesn’t believe it. Emma says, sorry. She knows the stories are fake, but she doesn’t want to crush Henry. She says she’s not ready, but Fiona says the day will come. Until she’s ready to destroy the book and fantasy world, she’ll stay locked up.

The others watch in a mirror. Regina says the final battle isn’t what they thought it was. Snow says it’s a battle for Emma’s soul and hope. Zelena breezes in with some Munchkins. She escaped Oz with a magic hat. A Munchkin puts it on the ground and beams of light shoot out of it. Zelena pulls back a curtain, but there’s nothing behind it except darkness. Regina says that’s why the Black Fairy wants Emma to destroy the book. As her hope fades, the realms will be erased. Everything starts to shake, and Regina says the realms will be destroyed, along with everything in them.

Fiona visits Gold’s shop. She’s checking to see that everything is as it should be. Gold and Gideon are there. She tells them that she’s brought lunch and a job – her watch has stopped. Gideon takes the lunch in the back, and Gold thanks her. She feels badly for Gideon, and says she’s always concerned when someone has lost their mother. She talks about how sad it is, and says she’ll be back for the watch; she knows she can count on him. She tells him she’s always there to help.

More characters gather at the palace. Aladdin and Jasmine are there. David says the more Emma loses faith, the more realms disappear. Hook thinks he has a theory of where to look for Emma. Regina says what they need is magic; it’s time for her to go to work. Everyone disappears, poof! in some swirls of purple smoke. They appear at Regina’s palace, and she says that she’s getting Henry and Emma back, no matter what it takes.

In her room, Emma does pull-ups with a box spring, a la Sarah Connor in The Terminator. Henry walks in to help her escape. He’s drawn up a plan.

Hook sees a beanstalk in the woods. David shows up, and Hook wonders how David found him. David tells him next time he sneaks off, make sure no Munchkins are around. Apparently, they’re easily bribed. Hook wants to climb the beanstalk and get back to his wife. He says during their first adventure, his motives were less than chivalrous, but they’ve both changed. They fought for their love and won. He has to climb the beanstalk and find the bean. He’s not losing everything because of a bitter fairy. David gets that he’s scared, but tells him to take a deep breath. They’ll climb together.

Henry takes Emma to a roof. He says it’s the last place she saw her family and remembered that she’s the Savior. She says that isn’t real, and he’s not going to convince her that her mother is Snow White. He says she married Captain Hook right here, and she asks if Tinkerbelle officiated. He says no, Jiminy Cricket did. He tries to get her to remember, and she flashes back to kissing Hook at the ceremony. She says she’s been in a mental hospital for years and can’t trust her brain. He says she has to fight. She tells Henry that she doesn’t want to, she just wants to go home to Boston. He says she can’t leave, but she says it’s not forever. He says fine, but it will be safer if she leaves after dark; he knows where Archie keeps the car keys. He says she’s his mom, and he’ll always want to help her; she doesn’t deserve to be locked up. He tells her he’ll be back in an hour, and promises she’ll have the life she always wanted.

Gold looks for something. He pulls out the book that Belle gave to Gideon, Her Handsome Hero. He tells Gideon that he knows it’s not easy to talk about Belle, but she wanted him to have the book. Gideon says that Fiona has been more of a mother to him. Gold asks how much he remembers. Gideon says only what he already told him; she was going to the store, and never came back. Gold says maybe they don’t know the whole story. His mother wouldn’t leave without good reason. Gideon tells him not to rationalize; she didn’t love them, but they don’t need her to have a happy life. He says Gold refuses to see it. Gold says no matter what happened between them, Belle would always want to be part of his life.

Regina stirs a cauldron, while Zelena looks for the ingredients, but they seem to be out of everything. The Evil Queen storms in, and is shocked to find that Regina is back. Regina says, so she’s the one who’s been squatting in her castle. The Evil Queen says she lives there. Everyone there thought she murdered Snow and Charming. After three days of angry villagers, she decided to move into the palace. She says she and Robin turned over a new leaf. Now they steal from rich and give to poor – mostly anyway. Regina says they’re having a bit of a fairy problem.

Fiona finds out that Emma is gone from the hospital.

Henry sneaks around Archie’s office. He finds his story book. Fiona walks in. She tells him that there’s no reason to pretend; they both know she’s not his mother. She says she knows everything. Henry asks what she’s going to do, put him in the crazy house too? She says he’s more useful here. There’s still a speck of belief in Emma that refuses to die off. He says there’s nothing she can do to stop it, and Fiona says there’s something he can do. She zaps him down the stairs, and he lies at the bottom, unconscious.

While watching the ambulance take Henry away, Fiona tells Gold that Henry broke into Archie’s office and tumbled down the stairs. Gold thinks he’s resilient and will be fine. He wants her to reopen the investigation into Belle’s disappearance. She asks why tear open old wounds, and he says they never healed. Gideon needs to know the truth; Belle wouldn’t abandon him for no reason.

Hook and David enter the giant’s castle. The see a humongous dinner table laden with humongous food. Hook says he’s a pirate and has swung from plenty of masts, so he’ll go up. He shimmies up a table leg and wanders among huge sausages and enormous grapes. He sees the bean pod in a display case. He tells David he thinks he found something. He uses a massive knife to smash the glass. He snatches the pod and gets the bean, which is normal-sized, but looks like it’s made of crystal. Everything starts to shake, and Hook says the giant has been woken. A dragon suddenly appears, and starts breathing fire everywhere.

Gold and Fiona sit in her car. Fiona tells Gold she hasn’t been completely honest. She wanted to save them the heartbreak. She shows him pictures of Belle in various vacation spots like she’s that garden gnome. Gold says she wanted to see the world. Fiona says just not with him. She says he’s the one who caused Gideon pain; he couldn’t be the man Belle wanted him to be. She says he can still be the man Gideon needs, and move on. He says it was illuminating, thanks her, and gets out of the car. She looks at the book and finds Henry’s notes, written in runes. She wonders what Henry knows.

Emma visits Henry in the hospital. Fiona says he was trying to steal the book and escape, when he fell down the stairs. Emma says he lied, and he says Fiona is lying – she pushed him. Fiona shows Emma the security footage, asking how she could push him without touching him, but Henry says she used magic. He tells Emma to just touch the book. She takes it, but nothing happens. She says he’s not a kid anymore. It’s not a daring rescue operation. Fiona says what if next time, he breaks his neck instead of his arm? He’s hurting himself to make Emma believe his delusions. Emma says this has to stop. Fiona says she knows what to do. Henry tells Emma to just believe in him. She says believing doesn’t make it true, and he says that’s exactly what it does. He tells her not to go, and that it’s the final battle, but she leaves with Fiona.

David and Hook climb down the beanstalk, but everything starts to shake.

Fiona takes Emma to God knows where, and opens a furnace.

David tells Hook that he thinks they need a bigger boat have a bigger problem than the dragon.

Emma moves toward the furnace. Fiona says go on; only she can save their son. She puts the book in the flames.

The beanstalk sways wildly. The book burns. Emma sees Hook’s picture. The others gather on the palace balcony, while crazy clouds fill the sky. Regina thinks they may be too late. Emma stares at Hook’s picture as it’s consumed by flames.

⚔ Part Two ⚔

The little girl from the beginning walks through the forest with the book. She finds her father’s sword. Tiger Lily appears, and tells her not to cry. She asks where her father is. Tiger Lily doesn’t know, but knows he fought valiantly. She says the book is safe, and they have to bring it to the girl’s mother. Tiger Lily tells her that the future is cloudy, but she and her father will be reunited. She needs to learn the lesson imparted by the book.

Fiona brings Henry the burned book on a food tray like it’s the dead rat in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? She says whatever hope Emma clung to has been destroyed, along with the book. Henry doesn’t believe it completely. He says they won’t let her win. She says that his family won’t exist long enough to save themselves, let alone his mother.

David and Hook cling to the beanstalk. Hook falls. David is next. Snow says something is wrong. Regina asks where, but she doesn’t know. Jasmine says, let’s find them, and calls the magic carpet. They find Hook in the mess of the beanstalk. He says they managed to get it, and shows them the bean. David is nowhere. and Snow says she’ll find him. She tells Hook to get to Emma, and make her believe again.

Emma is ready to leave. Henry asks if this is what she wants. She says this is why she has to go; he believes this nonsense. She says it’s clear now. Coming to Storybrooke wasn’t good for either of them. It sent them on a dangerous path. Henry says the Black Fairy did it; Emma really doesn’t believe. She says there’s nothing to believe, and tells him good-by. She goes off in her VW bug.

Emma arrives back at her old place in Boston. A notebook tumbles out of her tote bag. There’s a note on it from Henry saying that he knows she doesn’t think the story is true, but they can still have a happy ending. Emma gets a call to come back to work. She looks through the book. It’s a new story about how true love broke the curse.

Regina looks at the bean, and it’s turned black. Emma’s lack of belief is sapping the magic from everything. Regina says she doesn’t have enough power to fix it, but Zelena says between her, Regina and the Evil Queen, they can do it.

Snow looks for David in the forest. She finds him under some beanstalk fronds. He seems to be dead, and she cries, saying please no. She kisses him. He opens his eyes. Flashback to the reverse, when he woke her with a kiss. He says she found him, and she asks if he doubted it. He says the beanstalk that fell on him gave him pause. She tells him that darkness never wins; it just pulls you into believing it does. They say I love yous, and David says, let’s go.

Henry goes to Gold’s shop. He starts to go into the back, and Gold says it’s closed to customers. Henry says he’s not a customer, he’s Gold’s grandson. He goes in the back where there’s a potion brewing. Henry says Gold is awake; he knows magic when he sees it. He asks why Gold has been pretending. Gold says he doesn’t trust his mother. He wasn’t supposed to end up like this without Belle; she betrayed him again. He wants to find out her true intentions. He doesn’t believe Belle ran off; the Black Fairy would have kept her for leverage. Henry says he has to help him save their family, then they can find Belle. Gold says that all he cares about is Belle. Henry says at least let him take something that can help.

Henry talks into a mirror, hoping the others can hear him. He says he tried to keep Emma from losing belief, but it wasn’t good enough. That doesn’t mean he’s going on without a fight. He pulls out a sword, and says if no one else can go up against the Black Fairy, he will.

Zelena says the magic is there. David wants everyone to get to safety. Regina sees the Evil Queen going toward a window, and asks what she’s doing. She says that she’s going to hold it off as long as she can. She tells Regina to take the others to the center of the castle, where they should be able to survive. Henry is her son too, and he needs one of them. She zaps purple lightning bolts at the oncoming clouds. Regina gathers everyone and tries to make a purple fire ball, but it’s weak.

Everything starts to crumble. Everyone looks at each other, and for a moment, I think Regina and Zelena are going to kiss. The clouds get bigger, darker, and closer.

Henry goes to the Storybrooke town hall. Emma joins him. She tells him that she found the book he left. She says she’s not sure she’s the Savior, but it’s who she wants to be. She doesn’t remember the crazy stuff he told her, but she believes it.

Everything stops. The group is left on a cliff, only the center of the palace room remaining. Regina asks what happened. Snow says Emma is back.

Her Handsome Hero plops down from the sky in front of a house. Gold goes inside. He calls for Belle. He finds her hiding next to the stove in the kitchen. She says she doesn’t want to leave, and runs into another room. She doesn’t know why he knows her name. He says the Black Fairy changed her, but he promises her that he’ll make the fairy pay.

Fiona comes into Gold’s shop. She tells Gideon that Emma Swan is back. He’s confused, and she says she needs her fairy wand. He wants to call his father, but she says that’s the last thing she needs, and Gideon hangs up the phone. He wonders why he did that when he didn’t want to, and Fiona says she still has his heart; he has to do what she says. She needs the wand to translate Henry’s runes, which hold the key to winning the final battle. Gideon finds the wand. Fiona says it’s been centuries since she felt its power.

She zaps the page of runes, and they decipher. She tells Gideon it’s time to get to work.

Emma wanders around with a sword.

Gold enters his shop. Fiona says she’s there to get her watch. He says, no she’s not, and calls her “mother.” She says she separated him from Belle for his own good. Belle would have convinced him to go against his own dark instincts. When the final battle is over, she can make them love him, even if he’s the Dark One; he can have it all. He says he can’t, and all she cares about is herself. She says she’s worked tirelessly to reunite them. They can be a family again, and not just Belle and Gideon. She’ll be able to bring back the dead – his first son. All his desires can be had. Gold says he must have it all, and they hug. He says there’s just one problem – all magic comes with a price. He flips her around, and holds a dagger to her throat. He says he’s not willing to pay, and she’s going to suffer because of Belle and Gideon. She says she learned that darkness can’t snuff out the light; only light can snuff out light. He says she has Gideon’s heart, and she commanded him to kill the Savior. Not even her death can stop it, and will probably ensure it. Gold says there’s one way to find out. He zaps her, and she turns to dust.

Gold drops the dagger. A wave comes over everything, like when you see heat rising from a highway. At the town hall in regular Storybrooke, Emma remembers everything. Gideon appears, and says just in time, Savior. Emma tells Henry to go.

Belle runs into Gold’s shop. She says the curse is broken, and he tells her that he killed the Black Fairy. She asks where Gideon is. He says still under her control, but Henry might know.

Gideon advances on Emma. Henry bops him in the head with a fire extinguisher. They run, but when Gideon tries to follow, he’s stopped by a spell. Emma says it won’t hold long. She and Henry jet.

Belle and Gold look for Gideon’s heart in a cave. Belle twists her ankle, and she tells him to go ahead.

Back out on the street, Henry says they lost Gideon, but he won’t be far behind. They’re both happy about the curse being broken. The others show up, and Emma tells Hook, some honeymoon.

Gold finds a chest with a heart in it.

Regina says it’s a trap. Either way light will be destroyed. She tells Emma to hold Gideon off until Gold gets his heart. There’s always a third way. She takes Emma aside. She says when she first came to Storybrooke, they hated each other, but she found a third way – they were both Henry’s mother. Today she saw her evil half be selfless. She saved them all, and Regina never saw it coming. She says Emma hasn’t seen it yet, but she will. Emma says it sounds like she’s talking about hope, and Regina says Emma didn’t give up on her. Emma asks what she should do, and Regina says she’ll know when the time comes.

Gideon grabs Snow and holds a knife to her throat. Emma says to let her go, and he does. She circles him. He looks at her like he smelled something bad.

Gold talks to the heart, telling Gideon not to kill Emma. Rumpel appears, and tells him that if Emma dies, he can have it all. They can get everything – love and power. He tells Gold to put the heart down, and let their boy finish his mission. Gold says he won’t betray his family. He’s going to do the right thing; he was destined to be a Savior. Rumpel says in this new world, they’ll change the rules. Gold says that’s not happening, and tells the heart not to kill Emma. The heart turns dark, and Rumpel asks if he thought it would be easy. He might want to do the right thing, but we don’t always get what we want. Mick Jagger sings in my head.

Gideon tells Emma that no one is going to save her. They duel with their swords. She says no one needs to save her; she’s the Savior. She does some nice kick moves. She tells Gideon that ultimately, she’s a hero and light. She won’t kill anything; she’ll give hope – no matter what the cost. She drops the sword. Hook is like, nooo! but the others hold him back. Gideon looks sick. He says he was hoping she’d save them both. He runs the sword through her. Streams and bubbles of light come spraying out of her and go all over.

Gold tells Belle that he failed her and their family. He made the right choice, but it didn’t work out. Belle hugs him.

Everyone runs to Emma, who is lying in the middle of the street. Henry kisses her forehead, saying he loves her. Rainbows pulsate everywhere. She opens her eyes, and says that she loves him too. Everybody rejoices, and there’s a group hug.

Belle and Gold hear a baby cry. That’s because a baby has suddenly appeared in the cave. They see he’s also brought reading material – Her Handsome Hero. It’s Gideon. Gold says, a fresh start and happy ending, but Belle changes that to happy beginning.

Snow picks up Henry’s book and gives it to him. He looks at the last page, and it says, faith was restored and the final battle was won. Emma says, there’s no the end, and Snow says it isn’t the end. Maybe it is of this book, but not the end end.  Emma says, what now? Snow tells her that living with the belief that there’s a happy ending is the most powerful thing about now. They get to keep going on, doing what they love, with the people they love; being together is happiness. We see the hands on the clock in the tower move.

Palace doors open, glittery snow is falling, fairies are flying, there’s a reindeer, a maze, and the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, smoking his hookah. The Evil Queen looks out from her balcony and smiles. A doormat says Welcome to the Charmings, and we pan out to Snow and David’s place, and how happy they are with their baby and dog. Emma and Regina see Henry off to school at the bus stop. Snow as Mary teaches a class with a bluebird on her finger. Emma and Hook tool around in her bug, and put a flashing red light on top so they can go fast.

The Dwarves have a surprise for Regina. They’ve put a new name on her office door at the town hall – it now says Regina Mills – Queen. In the office, she looks at an apple and smiles.

Meanwhile, in parallel enchanted world, an arrow flies through the Evil Queen’s window. It has a note and a ring attached. The note says, Ready for a new adventure?

Belle and Gold dance to the theme from Beauty and the Beast.

Everyone gathers at Granny’s, including Zelena. All of them are happy, making me wonder if the show is returning. There’s lots of laughter, and everybody sits down at a really long table. I’m thinking it’s odd that they’re all sitting on one side, but then the scene turns into a picture in a book.

The little girl is on the train reading Once Upon a Time, but it has a different cover from Henry’s book. We read: Seattle, years later. She walks down an apartment building hallway and knocks on a door. A man answers and she asks if he’s Henry Mills. She says her name is Lucy, and she’s his daughter. She says his family needs him.

🎠 Yes, the show is returning. When, they didn’t say.  This was one long episode, but it was nice how they wrapped everything up, and sort of went back to the beginning, while leaving it open for the next book. It was also very corny, but I’ve watched this show from the first episode, and I think this was the first time it made me tear up. Robert Carlyle did an especially fine job, turning Gold into the man both he and Belle wanted him to be. It was gratifying that all of the characters got a do-over. Well, except for the Black Fairy, but she got what was coming to her. Managing to be sweet and smart at the same time, I’m surprised this show caught on, but glad that it did.

🍑 In order to milk the Housewives cash cow, tonight we were presented with The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Secrets Revealed. This is a step up from when they used to call the unused scenes “Lost Footage,” like we believed they found it behind a desk somewhere. Often, they have clips that are better than the regular episodes, and it’s an enjoyable change to see them having fun, rather than pulling each other’s hair. This time we got to see one of the (few) good things about Phaedra Ayden, aka Mr. President, one of the cutest kids ever. Of course, I don’t have to deal with him when he’s hopped up on sugar or doesn’t want a nap. We also saw more interaction between Kenya and the kids at Phaedra’s camp. There was a beautiful scene with Kenya telling them about the mother who ignores her, and how they’re not invisible. She touched one kid in a big way, and it was moving to see her comfort the sobbing boy. I also had to laugh at Peter lurking in the shadows. Cynthia’s shadows. He even had the gall to show up when she was out on a girl’s night, wanting to discuss the divorce. She ended up thanking him, which is totally like Cynthia, but she’s probably glad he’s not trying to clean her out, like suckerfish Jason Hoppy did with Bethenny. Farewell until next time, ladies (and I use the term loosely). Apparently, both NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak are coming back to the cast. Like the buzzards coming back to Hinckley, so do the Wives return to their original nesting grounds.

HappyMothersDayPeke

Juliet&Puppies (2)

Juliet sez: Bein’ a mudder iz da bezt!

May 9, 2017 – A Scarecrow on the Island, Julius Wants to Know the Enemy & a Tribal Themed Dinner

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Nathan meets Nina at the bar. She says she’s made a decision about Maxie. Lulu interrupts, asking Nina for a favor. She wants to know where Valentin is.

He’s out jogging and runs into Anna, who is also out jogging. He says if he didn’t know better, he’d accuse her of following him.

In Greece, Jason is on the phone trying to wrangle a boat, and Franco walks by. Jason slams Franco up against the wall and asks what he’s doing there.

Bobbie asks Carly what’s wrong. Carly says her attorney wants her to come up with a diary of her marriage to Sonny. Bobbie asks if it’s all five marriages, or just the latest. Ha-ha! Just this one. Carly says the sooner it’s filed, the sooner Sonny will get a clue that everything that was his, is hers now. Bobbie thinks she should consider a more amicable settlement. Carly says no way, and that’s why she brought Martina in. She needed someone Sonny didn’t know or could intimidate.

Guess again. Martina sits with Sonny. He says she has a problem, but he has a solution.

Nina tells Lulu that she can consider a request, since she’s Charlotte’s stepmom. Lulu says she wanted to take Charlotte for an outing with Rocco, and would like her to stay overnight. Nina says she gets an hour a week, and Charlotte hasn’t expressed wanting more time. They nearly get in an argument. Nina says Lulu is challenging the court mandate, and it’s not right. She says Charlotte is like a doll to Lulu, and she’s not considering Charlotte’s feelings. Lulu tells her to back off; she’s not really related to Charlotte. She says Valentin will betray Nina, just like he has everyone else.

Valentin says Anna’s ankle seems better, and wonders if her injury wasn’t contrived. Anna says she didn’t run into him by accident; they need to talk. Valentin asks why.

Jason tells Franco that only Sam knew he was in Greece. Franco says until she told him and Elizabeth. Jason asks if Franco is trying to play hero, but Franco says his sole motivation is to help Jake. He says step one, Jason will need a boat, and he has one – one with a cooler. Jason says he’ll pay him, but Franco says they’ll have to work together, and they should leave now.

Carly tells Bobbie that fighting Sonny is the best choice, and Bobbie says yeah, for the lawyer. I’ve got to agree with her there. Carly says that Sonny signed over his assets to her, and she’s going to keep them. She says it’s not about money. Sonny forced Jax to leave the country, and he can’t come back. Bobbie says he’s a billionaire; he’ll figure something out. She says Carly has to look at the reality. Sonny is a mobster with a bad temper and jealous streak. Is she really surprised? Carly says that’s why she brought in Martina, to make sure he pays dearly.

Martina tells Sonny that if anything, they’re at a stalemate. Sonny says he didn’t ask her there to blackmail her; someone saw them at The Haunted Star. Sonny says she’s already met her, and tells Martina about Ava. If Ava thinks she can hurt Sonny or Carly, she won’t hesitate. Then they both lose. He says that’s why he needs her help.

Nina asks how Nathan can be friends with Lulu, and he says she’s not always like that. Nah, just every time she doesn’t get what she wants immediately. Nina says it’s Lulu’s first move to get Charlotte away from her and Valentin, and it’s never going to happen.

Lulu sits down with Doc and Laura. She wishes she hadn’t lost her cool. Doc asks what happened. Lulu says it doesn’t matter.

Nina tells Nathan that Valentin offered Lulu joint custody, but she didn’t want it. She says she knows Valentin has flaws, but he loves his daughter and she loves him, and it’s real. She’ll be damned if Lulu is going to break up their family.

Anna asks Valentin if he prefers they call it closure and never see one another again. He asks why she’s there, and she says they have to talk about the Chimera Project.

Jason asks why Franco is doing this. He tells Jason that he loves Elizabeth and cares about Jake. He suggests that they talk about what they agree on. They want to get to the bottom of things for Jake’s sake, and the answers are on the island. Jason asks if the boat really has a cooler, and tells Franco let’s go.

Carly tells Bobbie she’s not taking back anything she said, but when she was writing in the journal, taking inventory of her marriage, she remembered what it was like when she and Sonny loved each other.

Sonny tells Martina that the best case is, Carly doesn’t believe Ava, but Carly’s cousin owns The Haunted Star, and all she has to do is ask for footage. Martina says Carly will just fire her and get another attorney, but Sonny says he’d rather fight with the devil he knows. She says, the one he can leverage? He tells her that once it’s over, they won’t have Ava hanging over their heads. Martina says it could come back to haunt him later, but Sonny says it will be fine. Martina wonders why she feels like there’s a catch, and Sonny says that’s because there is.

Carly tells Bobbie about Morgan’s prescription bottle being found after the robbery, and how Sonny had it tested. She says everything was fine, but when Sonny was telling her about it, they were two parents mourning their kid instead of fighting. Bobbie asks if they’d still be together if Morgan hadn’t died. Carly asks if it matters. Morgan died, and they reacted the way they did, and made the choices that they did. She says Sonny said the marriage was over, then she slept with Jax, and Sonny had him deported. She can’t go through life wishing Sonny was the way she wants him to be.

Sonny tells Martina that Carly is holding on to his assets to punish him, and Martina has to talk her out of it. He’s sure she’ll find the best solution for everyone, and she says he wants the best solution for himself. He tells her she has a lot of work to do, and makes a dimply smile as she leaves.

Valentin tells Anna that the Chimera Project was decades ago. He asks if she forgot about it or just him. Anna apologizes again for using him. She says it was easier not remembering, because now she has to live with it. She understands that her present struggle doesn’t compare to what she did to him. She says there were other potential buyers, and wants to know who Valentin turned it over to. He says he doesn’t want to discuss it.

Jason and Franco arrive at what Jason thinks is the place. The scarecrow is there. Franco asks him to look at something.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc that she and Charlotte are getting along so well, she thinks she can win this on the up and up. Laura thinks there should be a back-up plan. Lulu says it would be good to have dirt on Valentin just in case. She wants to bring him and his lying wife down, but she has to play nice for a while. Laura tells her keep in mind that Charlotte loves Valentin, and although she hates to admit it, Charlotte loves Nina too. Lulu says she’s winning Charlotte over.

Nina tells Nathan that she’s used to people hating Valentin, but wants to get off the subject. She says, being objective, Maxie did a lot for her. They disagree about Lulu and Charlotte, but they both love Nathan. It’s not doing their marriage any good with her in Portland, so Nina has decided to give Maxie the job back. She’s emailed her with an offer, and suggested they start fresh. She wants Nathan and Maxie to be as happy as she is with Valentin.

Anna tells Valentin that she can’t help wondering what the fallout was, and asks what if the damage wasn’t contained? He says the only reason he got involved was because of her, and doesn’t want to think about the whole mess. She says she’s sorry again, and he says she says that so often, he’s doubting her sincerity. He tells her to drop it.

Franco shows Jason a tree with the chimera carved into the trunk. Franco points out discrepancies in the timeline drawing. If Jake was behind the tree, he wouldn’t see the scarecrow. Jason examines the area around the scarecrow.

Kristina meets Sonny. She tells him she’s involved with the Nurses Ball, mostly because of Amy 2.0, who she’s living with now. She says she came there to see how he’s doing. He says everything is fine on the divorce front. Kristina says Michael told her that Carly wants everything.

Carly introduces Bobbie to Martina. Bobbie leaves to bother someone else, and Martina calls her a bit of a mom bear. Carly says that’s where she gets it. Martina asks how Bobbie is taking the divorce, and Carly says she’s concerned. When Martina mentions Michael, Carly says he wants her to compromise, and Martina says he might have a point. Maybe she should take a closer look at Diane’s proposal. Carly asks what happened that Martina wants to settle. Martina says nothing, she’s just presenting options, but Carly doesn’t buy it.

Sonny tells Kristina not to worry. She tells him to disregard the invoice from PCU. She says she’s finally gotten her head on straight – academically anyway. She’s committed to getting her degree, but she can wait. She doesn’t want him paying for anything. She says once she can access her trust fund, it will help. He’s glad she’s taking responsibility. She thinks maybe she can ask Michael for assistance in the meantime. Sonny says that he and Carly will settle soon.

Martina tells Carly that nothing has changed. The longer it goes on, the more money she makes, and she’ll make a killing at trial. She has reservations about moving ahead though. Costs will be great, not just financially. She says that Carly and Sonny seem in agreement about the kids, and that Carly doesn’t need the money. She’s hurt and angry, but they’re poor reasons to make decisions. Her best advice is to compromise.

Nathan asks if Nina is worried about Valentin’s past. She says no, but someone suggested something, and made her realize she’s overreacting. She says soon Maxie will be back in his arms. She gets a text from Maxie, who turns down the offer, saying she’s not sure if she’s coming back at all.

Lulu tells Laura and Doc that Valentin isn’t who he’s pretending to be, and that children are perceptive. When Charlotte sees who he really is, she’ll come running to Lulu. Doc tells her to concentrate on her relationship with Charlotte, but don’t manipulate her. Lulu says she doesn’t have to; real love trumps manipulation. Please. Lulu gets a text and has to pick up Rocco.

Doc tells Laura that she seems uneasy. She says that’s an understatement. He asks if she doesn’t trust Lulu’s assessment of the situation, but she says that she doesn’t trust Valentin.

Valentin tells Anna that they’re at an impasse. Anna says she needs for him to tell her out of decency. <snort> He tells her that she’s laying it on too thick. Anna says the project had potential to do harm, so please tell her he sold it to the DVX. He says that he can’t.

Jason sees shackles near the scarecrow. Franco says this is alarming.

Kristina asks how Sonny knows they’ll settle. He says that he has a feeling, and she asks what he’s not telling her.

Carly tells Martina no way is she going to settle. She says now that due diligence has been done, she wants to keep everything.

Nathan tells Nina this is the first he’s heard about Maxie staying in Portland indefinitely. It sounds like Maxie is telling him one thing, and Nina another.

Laura tells Doc that Valentin won’t stand for it. He killed her son, and it’s only a matter of time before he does the same to her daughter. She gets all weepy, and I’m wondering why the overreaction.

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the project to the highest bidder. She suggests greed won out, but he says the surgeries didn’t pay for themselves. He sold it for a huge amount of money. He tells her if they wanted to do something with it, they would have already. It will never see the light of day.

Jason remembers being held in the shackles. He looks at the tree. Franco asks what’s going on, and Jason says it’s him; he’s the scarecrow.

Tomorrow, Curtis can’t believe Jordan is making him do something, there’s a special delivery for Elizabeth, Franco says Jason is the one Jake is afraid of and Anna asks if Valentin wants her out of his life. I know I do.

If Loving You is Wrong

Eddie locks Brad’s office door, and says the party is just getting started. Brad tells Eddie to let Randal go, but instead he draws his gun. Eddie asks why Randal is there, and Randal says he came to apologize. Brad backs him up on that, and tells Eddie to let him go again. Eddie says no. He says he doesn’t give a damn anymore; he’s tired of seeing Randal’s face. He asks Brad what Randal said. Brad says Randal told him that he was sorry, which is usually how apologies work.

Eddie tells Brad about how he saw Randal and Alex together. He asks if that’s the kind of apology Randal gives. Brad is like, what? Eddie says they were about to make out when he pulled up. He says right before he came there, they were in his front yard. Randal says they were just talking about the child. Brad says Lushion’s child, and Eddie asks if Alex was swinging from every jungle tree or what? Randal says Alex told him Lushion was the father. Eddie says he should shoot him for telling such a lie. Randal tells him to ask her, and Eddie says he’ll ask them both. Brad says he’d like to keep his job, so just let Randal go. Eddie finally gives in, but stands in front of the door. Randal asks how he’s supposed to leave, and Eddie tells him to pick a window. (Hey, that’s what Kathryn told Veronica on The Haves and the Have Nots.) Brad finally steps in, and moves Eddie aside.

Brad says he can’t go around killing people. Eddie asks what’s wrong with him. Brad says he’s had enough of all of it, and all he wants is peace. Eddie says Alex is still sleeping with Randal. Brad says he needs Eddie to leave him alone. Eddie says he doesn’t know who Brad is anymore, and he’s a damn fool if he goes back with Alex.

Alex’s phone rings. It’s the doctor. She heard about what’s going on. She says Alex’s son is there, and she’s caring for him. Alex is like, thank God, and the doctor asks if she’d like to see him. She told the judge that he baby needs to be breastfed, but she can’t take him out of the nursery. Alex promises, and says she’ll be there as soon as she gets a babysitter.

Alex calls Esperanza, who can’t believe the mess going on with Travis. She says he’s stalking Kelly, who’s in with an officer. Alex asks if there’s any way Esperanza can come and watch the kids; she needs to get to the hospital. She tells Esperanza that she’s allowed to feed the nameless baby. Esperanza says she’ll be there asap, and Alex adds that she needs a ride. Geez.

Lushion tells Natalie that this guy can’t help her and it’s a waste of time, but she says she has to try. A guy knocks at the door and she offers him coffee, but Lushion says he’s here to talk about Joey, not to get free coffee. Natalie takes Lushion into the kitchen, and says he’s welcome to go. Nameless guy tells him not to be upset, and Lushion tells him to do his job. He says Joey violated his probation, and the judge will have to rule on it, and tells Natalie that Joey is getting good care. I don’t know if he’s a lawyer, or caseworker, or what. Natalie says that Joey was starting to turn his life around. The guy says he shot someone, and he wasn’t supposed to have a gun. Natalie asks him if he knows how hard it is for a Black man when he gets out of jail , and that Joey was doing well. He repeats that it’s in the judge’s hands. Lushion tells him to get his ass out. Dude leaves. Lushion tells Natalie they’ll get a lawyer, and if dude is on the case, he’ll have him removed. He knows people. Natalie asks what’s up his sleeve. Lushion says after the house and Joey’s bills, there isn’t much money left, but he knows some people. Natalie says she’s engaged to an OG. She says she liked his jealousy, and he says he wasn’t anything of the kind. He tells her to stop being mad at him when he wants to do things his way. She says he’s always there for her, and he says he’s trying. They hug and kiss and are all happy again.

Marcie visits Louise. Louise says she’s good, and Marcie jokes that they should go shopping. Louise says she’s in good spirits. She was wondering what Marcie was going to say earlier, but Marcie says she doesn’t remember. Louise doesn’t believe it, and tells her, out with it. Marcie says it’s Brad. She’s in love with him. Louise asks if she’s sure, and she says she is. Louise asks when it happened, but Marcie doesn’t know. Louise tells her to be careful; he’s the rebound man. Marcie says they’re not trying to be together, but it’s nice to feel love, real love, safe and pure. Louise thinks it’s based on sex, but Marcie says they’re not even having sex, but Brad is good with intimacy. Louise suggests she let it go until she’s cleaned up her old house. If she moves into the new one too soon, she won’t get her deposit back. She tells Marcie to make sure she’s over her feelings for Randal before she moves on. Marcie says she still loves Randal, and Louise says all the more reason to slow it down. Marcie says she’ll never be with him, but Louise says never say never. Truth! Every time I’ve said never, it’s happened.

Diane leaves the jail, crying. She calls Kelly and starts yelling at her. Kelly asks how she can help. Diane says she’s at the jail, and they’re not sure when they’re letting Tyrell out on probation. She says if she finds out that Kelly had anything to do with it, she promises her – and she hangs up. Promises her what?

Alex tells the doctor that it’s hard leaving the baby. She says Randal is trying to take him away from her, but it’s his baby too. The doctor asks if she’s sure, since she heard something about multiple partners. Alex asks how she heard it, and the doctor is married to a lawyer, who heard it from another lawyer. Alex asks if she can help. She says the baby needs to be with her, and the doctor suggests co-parenting. Alex says no, telling her that Randal only wants the baby to control her. The doctor says there’s nothing legal she can do unless Alex can come up with something else. She tells Alex she can see the baby as much as she wants to.

Marcie pops in, and the doctor asks how the baby is. Alex is surprised that Marcie is pregnant, and Marcie says this is the bitch who slept with her husband. Now she’s having Alex’s husband’s baby, so they’re even. The doctor is a little freaked, but Marcie says that Alex was bound to find out. Marcie gets in the elevator with Alex. Alex cries while Marcie smirks. Marcie tells her that she loves screwing Brad. She says longest and worst elevator ride ever – for Alex – and singsongs that she’s having a baby, saying that she thinks she’ll name it Brad. She goads Alex while everyone else in the elevator is like, wtf? Marcie announces that Alex slept with her husband, and now she’s sleeping with hers. She says she’s not a bad person; Alex started it. Alex gets off on a random floor, while Marcie shouts it’s not her stop. Why is Marcie acting like she’s five? Is this a hormonal thing?

Natalie asks the girls how they like their room, and they say they feel like princesses. She says they are. Lushion shows Natalie’s younger son his room. He asks where Joey is, and Lushion says he’s in the hospital. The doorbell rings.

It’s the paternity test woman. She needs DNA from the both of them. She says that she needs it from Natalie because of Ramses being murdered. Lushion tells Natalie that it’s because she was in the house, but Natalie doesn’t want them to have her DNA because of Eddie working at the station. I don’t blame her. She realizes that Ramses died in their new house, and gets weird. Lushion says he’ll go first. The woman says she’s also doing a paternity test on him. She tells him that they’re determining the paternity of Alex’s baby without a name. Natalie tells her to get out, and Lushion says she has to leave. She says she’ll have to report that they refused, and Natalie tells her, you do that.

Lushion tells Natalie not to come at him crazy. She says she’s going to come at Alex crazy. Lushion wonders how he got into this, and Natalie says she doesn’t know, but she’ll get him out of it. She asks if he’s sure it’s not his baby, and he heaves a huge sigh.

Ben has a headache. Julius calls, and asks how he likes the car. Ben says he hasn’t driven it yet. He asks Julius what’s up, and Julius says he’s thinking of having a party. There’s going to be a lot of Colombian candy there, and he thinks Ben should stop by. Ben asks if he can bring his girlfriend. Julius says it’s a man’s party, and Ben says, cool. Julius tells him that the price of admission is a file on Eddie. Ben is like, um, uhhh, um, uhh, what? Seriously, that’s what he says. Julius says he needs Eddie’s personal file. Ben asks why. Julius tells him that the first rule of combat is knowing the enemy. Ben doesn’t know if he can get it, but Julius has faith in him. He says he’ll try, but Julius says there’s only doing. He’s not doing something for himself; he’s doing his best friend a favor. Ben says he’ll do it.

Lots of sighing tonight. Ben heaves one, and gets up.

Kelly tells an officer she didn’t tell Travis to take her child. She wants to know why they’re not arresting him, and the officer says they’re looking for him. He asks again, and Kelly wonders if he’s hard of hearing. He gives her a tablet, and tells her to read it. She reads a text that asks Travis to come over because Justice is asleep. She says she never wrote it, and people can manufacture text messages. She asks why he doesn’t believe her, and he’s taking Travis’s word. Is it because he’s a man? She asks if she can get a woman on the case. The officer says that’s insulting. She says what’s insulting is that she has to defend herself. He tells her it’s from the phone company’s records, but she insists she didn’t send it. He shows her another one asking Travis to pick Justice up, and saying that she might have left the oven on. She says she didn’t write that. He says the record shows it came off a tower a few blocks from where she works, and tells her that he follows the law. She says okay, and starts to leave. He says not so fast. He tells her that this guy isn’t into her, and she doesn’t need to be dragging them into it. He says Travis could press charges. Kelly tells him that unless he has a warrant, she’s going home. He tells her that he has one.

Next time, Travis is free to go, Julius talks to Randal about his father’s will, and Marcie taunts Alex in front of Brad.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Captain Sandy gives Malia lessons on the tinder. Not a dating app, the small boat kind of tinder. At the beach, Hannah calls for the food, and finds out it’s coming over with the guests. She wonders if she’s going to last the season. The guests are plied with drinks when they get there. It’s no big shock that the yellow fin tuna tartare is pure artistry.

Sandy talks to Malia. She explains that it’s a learning curve, and she picks up the slack. Malia is hoping to be a captain one day herself.

Lauren is concerned about first impressions, and talks to Wes about wanting to show Hannah that she’s not some bimbo who Bobby brought to the club. Fastest beach picnic ever. In his interview, Bobby talks about being friends with Hannah, and we flash back to him telling her f-u. That’s right, I forgot. He’s a creeper and aggressive.

Hannah wants to get a belly dancer for the guests. She says she’s no stranger to theme nights, and we flash back to a couple of them, but I don’t remember the guests dressing up like monks or whatever is going on in one of the clips. I also still can’t understand a word that Wes says. He’s worse than that redheaded guy (Bryan?) from the last Mediterranean season.

Bobby thinks he’ll be a good asset to Wes, having a few charters under his belt. Adam says he doesn’t know much about tribal themes, but knows that cannibalism isn’t the way to go. The guests take pictures on deck with a gorgeous sunset in the background. The captain decides to park drop anchor near some awesome cliffs. Adam flirts with Malia while he cooks.

The guests apply their war paint. Isn’t this cultural appropriation now? There’s a bunch of stuff about shackles and the anchor, but all I understand is that there’s a problem. It’s apparently a bad one, since the captain says it could be over for them. All Max knows is that if you see the rope at the end of the anchor, you’re screwed. Bobby says in trying to impress the captain, he made a mess. In her interview, the captain says she’s not going to come down on Bobby, but they’ll talk about it after the charter.

The guests sit on the floor to eat. Another beautiful table setting with lots of gold and animal prints. Adam isn’t happy with the main dish, and throws it away. Hannah wonders what she’s supposed to do now, and Adam says give him five minutes. The belly dancer arrives. Hannah says she and Adam are getting along, but there’s something she can’t put her finger on. The guests want the chef to come up and explain the spices to them, and he almost ruins the belly dancing surprise. Wait. He does ruin it. Hannah is like, thanks a lot, although she doesn’t seem like she’s really angry.

Lauren says Bobby won’t even look her in the eye. In his interview, he thinks they’re fine. Hannah brings out the belly dancer and the guests applaud. Hannah wonders when the captain is going to realize she’s good at her job. Lauren and Adam flirt. Wes is on anchor watch, and Bugs keeps him company.

Some early jet skiing is done, and then another fabulous breakfast. Captain Sandy gives instructions to Wes about pulling up the anchor, and tells him about the mistake Bobby made. Wes tries to play matchmaker with Bobby and Malia, but in her interview, Malia says she’s good being free, and tells him to just think of her as one of the deck boys. Wes talks about his girlfriend. Bugs talks to Hannah about communication with Adam, and in her interview, Hannah explains that chefs are temperamental most of the time. Captain Sandy asks Hannah to change for a photograph, and says she’ll get the drinks for the guests. In her interview, the captain says Hannah isn’t used to it being a team effort. The guests take pictures with the crew in their dress uniforms.

It’s time to pull into port. While Lauren is finishing the laundry, there’s a huge noise. She comes out to see glass and blood in the hallway. One of the hatch ports fell open and shattered a shower door, which unfortunately exploded all over Malia. The first aid kit is called for. Bobby goes into firefighter/EMT mode. He and Hannah argue about him looking at Malia’s wound while she’s not dressed (she was washing off in the shower). He thinks Hannah has marked her territory after last season. Malia is glad he can handle the situation, but thinks he still wanted to see her nakey.

The guests talk about this being the best vacation ever, but it’s time to say good-by. The primary tells Captain Sandy it was spectacular and cool to have a female captain. These guys don’t even change before counting the money. The captain gives them performance notes, and tells them what they need to work on, saying they’ll figure it out together. The take is $15K, or $1,375 each. Captain Sandy says she’d like to take them out to dinner.

She also wants to have a meeting with Hannah, who feels like she’s being called to the principal’s office. The captain gives her a bunch of compliments and says she’s impressed. (Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.) She points out that they also have the same color eyes. Wes makes fun of Bobby helping Malia. Everyone gets ready to go out.

Wes tells us he suffers from FOMO. I don’t blame him since he has to stay behind to babysit the boat. The town is beautiful, with castles and grottos and whatnot. The captain toasts to a successful first charter. She jets after dinner, and the crew talks about relationships. Wes arrives, and the group moves on to a club. The drinking and dancing commences. Hannah dances with Malia, and says she’ll be Malia’s big sister. Bobby is afraid she’s cockblocking him. On the way back to the boat, everyone gets goofy.

Bobby tells the guys his concerns about Hannah. Wes thinks it looks like Hannah trying to hook up with Malia. I agree.

Back on the boat, Bobby tries to find out what Hannah was telling Malia. Then he follows Hannah around, asking what he told her. He starts cursing Hannah out, saying she throws him under the bus; she did it in New York with Lauren. He calls her an alcoholic, and says she won’t remember it in the morning. She asks what she’s done to him. Malia tells him that they weren’t talking about him. Hannah points out that Bobby is being aggressive, which makes him more aggressive. She asks what she said that was bad about him, and Bobby tells her get out. In her interview, Hannah says she’ll remember this conversation for a Very. Long. Time.

Next time, the primary is Mr. Skin who owns a nudie website and wants to do a naked news photo shoot, Bugs says unmentionable parts are staring her in the eyeballs, a sink backs up (I don’t want to know), and Bobby acts like a jerk yet again.

😱 Hey, how about that Abby Lee Miller? 😱

Croatia

Croatia

 

May 7, 2017 – A Musical Fairy Tale Wedding, Mary, an Atlanta Mention & a Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Once Upon a Time – the Musical Episode

Young Emma sings into a tape recorder. Her sister makes fun of her. She says that Emma is just like everybody else – all alone.

Moving forward, Snow has found her old wedding gown, and asks Emma if she wants to wear it. Snow never thought they’d have a moment like this. Kelly Clarkson appears and…just kidding.

Back in the day, Snow says there’s no way they can stop the Evil Queen. Charming tells her that they will, and she needs some rest. On the balcony, she wishes for a happy ending, and a star glows brightly.

Bluebirds, well, really a parakeet, wake Snow. She’s surprised to find herself singing. Charming comes in, singing that someone has cast a spell or curse, because he can’t stop singing in verse. Snow sings that it’s because of her wish, and they’ll defeat the Evil Queen. They sing about love being the most powerful magic of all. This is pretty cool, and I’m already impressed with the sets and costumes. And the lyrics actually aren’t awful. Surprisingly, the cast can also sing. Although there is the magic that is autotune.

In Storybrooke, Snow brings her dress back from the cleaners, but it turns black when Emma holds it up. The Black Fairy pops in, poof! in a cloud of black smoke. She says she was never a fan of white weddings, and light and dark must have their reckonings. Unless Emma wants to give over her heart now. She says deep down, Emma is still the lonely little girl she always was, and the final battle is coming, whether they want it to or not.

The Black Fairy plans on separating the friends with a curse. When the clock strikes six – at the time Emma and Hook are to be married – it will be released. Regina says she ruined Snow’s wedding, the least she can do is help Emma have hers.

Way back when, the Evil Queen and her mirror sing a duet about the spell that’s been cast. The mirror tells her that her curse might not succeed. We see the Seven Dwarves, Pinocchio, and the others singing happily in every mirror the queen passes. It makes her go ballistic. The queen sings about love being a waste of time, how it can’t match her power, and doesn’t stand a chance. BTW, Lana Parrilla (Regina) has a great voice. I’d love to see her on Broadway. The Evil Queen breaks into everyone else’s happy scenes, dancing on the tables and kicking things over.

Right now, Hook looks at his white suit, and asks David if he thinks Emma would be disappointed if he doesn’t wear it. Emma comes in, and tells him about the Black Fairy’s curse. She says she has to fight the final battle alone. She tells him not to worry; she’ll be at the wedding on time. He says that’s not it; he knows she’s come to say good-by. She tells him she loves him, and jets.

Back in the day, Snow and Charming go to a tavern to find Hook. Charming wants him to take them to the Evil Queen. They’re prepared to pay handsomely. Hook sings about revenge, and how it’s worth more than anything else. When Snow asks revenge on who, he tells her to wait for the second verse. I’m liking these songs. Is the soundtrack available? Hook sings about how the crocodile ruined his life. He sings about the Dark One, and Charming says he’s in their dungeon. Snow tells him that if he can help them, he has himself a crocodile. Colin O’Donoghue (Hook) can definitely co-star in my Broadway show.

In the present, Hook goes to Gold’s shop. He says Gold betrayed all of them, but Gold says he did what he needed to do to keep his family together. Hook shoots him with a dart. He wants to knock him out long enough to get his mother. The Black Fairy appears, and says her son isn’t the only one looking out for his family.

Emma is in her office, gathering some pictures. Henry tells Emma that she’s doing the right thing. The final battle is what brought her there in the first place, and he knows she’ll win. He hits play on the cassette player on her desk, but Emma turns it off, saying it was nothing. She has to hurry, and hugs Henry good-by.

Regina can’t find anything, but Zelena says there must be something she used back then that she can use this time. Regina says the first curse stopped time, so maybe there is something.

The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin in his cell. She says Snow and Charming are using a singing spell to break her curse, and he’s going to help stop them. He says he didn’t teach her to come crying to him at the first sign of trouble. If she wants to prove that he chose the right one, fix it herself.

Zelena sings about Rumpel choosing the wrong witch. She thinks the future is looking more appealing now. She’s happy things aren’t working out for Regina. She sings about how wicked always wins, while terrorizing some stray Munchkins. She wonders why just revel in her demise, when she can use it to her advantage? When Regina wins, she’ll swoop in, and Rumpel will realize his mistake. She stirs her cauldron, singing that the happy ending will be hers.

Fast forwarding, Regina shows the group a vial. She says it’s the secret to stopping the curse. Regina wonders what their teacher would say. Rumpel appears, and says, how about thank you, and magically snatches the vial back.

Emma visits the Black Fairy. She asks if Emma is going to give up. The Black Fairy says she was going to separate Emma from her friends, but they did it for her. Some grey smoke clears, and everyone is standing there, frozen. The Black Fairy says she’s been watching Emma for a long time, and plays the tape Emma made as a child. The fairy says she went to sleep to sounds of misery like that every night in the mines. She tells Emma that she can’t do this alone.

At the office, Emma’s hand shakes, and Henry asks what the Black Fairy did. He tells Emma that even if she froze their family, she’s not alone. Emma says that the fairy reminded her of a time when she was on her own, and when something big came along, she ran. She says she wasn’t brave enough to keep him, but Henry says that was a long time ago, and she’s changed. Emma says that’s because he came into her life. He says she’s the Savior, and she can still beat the Black Fairy and save them. Emma thinks maybe she’s supposed to give the Black Fairy her heart. He says that’s not the way the story ends, but Emma says at least he’ll still have the family.

In the past, the Evil Queen appears, and Charming suggests she come with him and Snow. She makes a fireball, and is about to lob it at them, and they start singing. She misses them, and sings about her own magic and how love doesn’t stand a chance. They have a song duel. The Evil Queen sings that the spell will still be broken. She opens a box and sucks their singing into it. She tells them that she’s won. She didn’t just take their song; she took everyone’s. She says it proves love isn’t the strongest magic, and tells them to enjoy what time they have left. They disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Snow and Charming stand on the balcony. The Blue Fairy appears. Snow says it was Blue who granted the wish. Charming tells Blue that the Evil Queen took the song. Blue says it’s still inside all of them, but it wasn’t meant to conquer the Evil Queen; it was for Emma. With everyone’s song in her heart, she’ll have a happy ending. One day she’ll face a battle that no one has faced before, and she’ll have to face it alone. Their songs will be inside her, and they have to hope they’’ll come out when she needs them the most.

In the here and now, Henry says there has to be a different ending to the story. He sees a page from the book he hasn’t seen before. It’s Blue, giving Snow the songs for Emma. Henry says that Emma’s not alone and never was.

Emma tells the Black Fairy she can have what she came for – Emma’s heart. The Black Fairy says it’s a deal. Emma tells the frozen Hook that she’s sorry, but it’s the only way. The Black Fairy says at least one of them is getting a happy ending, and takes Emma’s heart. She wonders why Emma won’t die. Henry walks in, saying that Emma’s heart is stronger than the Black Fairy thinks. He plays the song that Emma sang as a child, and says it’s been in her the whole time. It’s not her weakness; it’s her strength. Emma sings about once living in darkness. As she sings, her heart returns to her. She sings that the song in her heart is more powerful than the Black Fairy. She knows what she’s living for; all along the answer was inside her. As she sings, everyone comes back to life. She tells the Black Fairy she’s not alone any more. The Black Fairy says her curse is still coming, and the final battle will be worse than they can imagine. She disappears, poof! in a puff of slate smoke.

Emma says that Snow and David were always with her. Suddenly, we’re at the wedding.

Floral arches abound, and Archie is officiating. Hook wears black, and Emma looks like Grace Kelly, in a beautiful old-fashioned, high collared wedding gown, with lots of tiny buttons and lace. We go right to the vows. Hook says when they met he had a heart of revenge, but now it’s full of love. He says a captain’s heart belongs to his ship, but with this ring, it now belongs to her. She tells him that she spent so much of her life on her own, but Henry found her and helped her find the rest of them. She didn’t believe she’d ever find true love, but thanks to him, she has. They exchange rings and I dos. Archie pronounces them husband and wife. Much applause. Hook says they did it; a happy ending. Emma says it’s something else – a happy beginning.

They sing about happily ever after as they dance their first dance. The others join them, singing that if they stand strong together, there’s no way they can fall. They sing about happy beginnings, and there’s much dancing on the rooftop. Where’s Pongo?

They look to the sky. The clock in the tower explodes. The Black Fairy’s curse is here. Like humongous octopus tentacles, black smoke snakes out of the clocktower and envelops them.

Next time, the two-hour season finale. A final curse is cast, all the realms will be destroyed, and Snow tells Hook to make Emma believe again.

🐎 Tonight, on Return to Amish, we learned Mary’s story. I nearly went out of my mind when Abe and Mary went on a road trip, and she insisted on stopping at an abandoned amusement park. That’s one of my dream trips, visiting abandoned places. It turns out that Mary had a boyfriend who worked a Ferris wheel, and she told us about how she ran away with the carnival, and got pregnant the first time. She also has a secret car, and finally got her license. Mary is full of surprises. I think we could all learn a lot from Mary. Next time, she does some line and pole dancing.

🍑 I’ll be checking out part four of the Atlanta Housewives reunion later. It’s imperative that I see Kandi crying out about the lies! the lies! while Kenya looks on like the Cheshire Cat. I like Kenya. I think she’s made some poor choices due to her need for attention. but given her family life, that’s understandable. She certainly got more than she could handle with Matt this season. If anyone deserves to sit back and watch Phaedra and Porsha sink themselves, it’s Kenya.

🐦 🐝 Because I grew up Mennonite, the first time I learned about sex was when I had sex. – Sabrina, Return to Amish

OUAT-Hook&amp;Emma

🎶 And yes, the soundtrack is already available:

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-once-upon-a-time-the-musical-episode-soundtrack-is-already-available-for-repeat-listening-55235

May 2, 2017 – A Triangle of Chimeras, a Tangle of Lies & a New Boat Launches in the Mediterranean

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna says she knew Valentin would recognize the necklace. She doesn’t remember where she got it, but realizes why she kept it. He asks if it’s a fondness for Greek mythology. She recalls the last time she asked Valentin to steal information – the Chimera Project – and says it went horribly wrong.

Sam wonders if the page of the book was deliberately hidden or the pages were just stuck. Jason says he doesn’t know, but he’s seen the chimera before. It’s freaking him out that he thinks he was meant to see it.

Elizabeth thanks Franco for helping with the boys. She sees the timeline on the table, and the new drawing. She asks what it is, and Franco says it’s nothing good.

Ava bugs Scotty, who tells her that he does have other clients. He doubts Julian is going to make bail. Ava says she’s there for her own needs, and he asks what hole she’s dug for herself this time.

Carly complains about Lucy leaving her hanging about the finalized arrangements for the Nurses Ball. Josslyn drops by the MetroCourt, needing a signature for a field trip. She asks if they’re going to pretend that nothing happened with Jax. Carly says she hates it, but the best they can do is for Josslyn to meet him in Montreal. She’s unhappy about it, but they have to accept it.

Sonny walks in, and Carly tells him to have Diane call her attorney. He says it’s not about the divorce; it’s about Morgan.

Ava says she’s not in any trouble, and Scotty asks for a minute to get over the shock. She says her optimistic viewpoint is starting to pay off, thanks to him and his advice. He thinks maybe he should become a self-help guru. She says that’s a noble idea, and he says it’s also where the money is. She says his assurance that Morgan’s pills won’t come back to haunt her was what did it.

Sonny tells Carly about the pills showing up in the evidence from The Floating Rib robbery. She says the robbers must have been questioned, but Sonny says they made a deal. Carly tells him that it doesn’t make sense. Sonny says that’s what he thought; why would Morgan bring the pills to the bar? She asks why Sonny didn’t tell her sooner, and he says he was waiting for an answer. She says even if Morgan had brought them to the bar, they wouldn’t be there six months later. She wants them analyzed, but Sonny says he already did it, and the results are in.

Sam wonders why Helena would give the book to Elizabeth if she wanted Jason to find it. She doesn’t think they’ll find anything else out tonight, but Jason feels they’re running out of time and have to deal with it now.

Franco tells Elizabeth it looks like a medieval manuscript, but Elizabeth says this wasn’t something Jake studied in school. They don’t want to ask Jake, but Franco says on some level Jake trusts him to help. Elizabeth thanks him for caring, and tells him to go ahead.

Anna tells Valentin that she kept the necklace as a symbol of what might have been. She says it’s an illusion, a dream, a glimmer of hope; something that ended too soon. She wishes she could go back, but Valentin thinks there’s no reason. She says there are moments from that night she cherished. It was magical. She talks about making love in the hotel, but he says when she was in the shower, he found the proof of him being on the kill list. She says it’s was a warning. She says he thinks he knows the whole story, but he’s wrong.

Valentin gives Anna his jacket. She wishes she’d never heard the word chimera or manipulated him out of the secrets. If he believes her or not, she would never have ordered his death. She lit a candle and prayer to Santa Teresa for forgiveness. He says she’s the patron saint of missions. Anna says her regret isn’t losing the secret of the project, but losing him. The necklace reminds her of the hearts she broke that night – his and hers.

Franco gets online and looks up the chimera. He reads the definition to Elizabeth, and she says the picture is exactly like Jake’s drawing. Jason calls. He asks if Jake has ever mentioned a chimera. Elizabeth tells him to come to her place right away.

Scotty wants to go get martinis, but Ava says she has a case for him. She says what’s catastrophic for Sonny is good for her. Carly is no longer on Sonny’s side, and it’s the perfect opportunity to get Avery back.

Sonny tells Carly that everything checks out. Morgan’s death had nothing to do with the pills. Carly says they’re going to find out why he was spiraling out of control. If one of the links in the chain were missing, Morgan would still be alive. Sonny gives her a copy of the lab report. Her phone rings, and she says it’s not a good time, but then says she’ll be there. She tells Sonny the lawyers want them to meet to divide assets. He asks if they can’t do it between them. He says she can take whatever is his. She says she has what’s his already, and plans on keeping it.

Sonny says he didn’t sleep with Nelle, but Carly slept with Jax. He didn’t cheat; she did. He doesn’t want to bring it up in court, but she says go ahead. Everything is hers; he signed it over to her. He says he did it to protect her and the kids; he can’t believe she’s holding it over him. She says she can’t believe he had Jax deported. They start to argue, and Josslyn steps in. She tells Sonny to leave her mother alone. She doesn’t forgive him for anything and can’t wait for the divorce. She says Morgan wouldn’t have forgiven him either. He says maybe not, and leaves.

Scotty says as Ava’s lawyer and friend, relax and enjoy her newfound tranquility. He says Sonny and Carly will always be loyal to each other; when it comes to the kids, they present a united front. She says it might be her chance to get Avery back. He tells her to do nothing and stay alive. She needs to stay away from anything to do with Sonny’s family.

Jason and Sam arrive at Elizabeth’s house. Jason shows Elizabeth the book. He wonders what the significance is. Elizabeth shows them the timeline.

Valentin tells Anna that he’s got to get home to Nina. Anna says she forgot about Nina, bringing my dislike for her up a notch. He wants Anna to go to a doctor, but she won’t, so he suggests driving her home. Where does he keep his car? Isn’t it at his home? Although I guess he’s rich enough to keep another car in Port Charles. He helps Anna off the docks.

Elizabeth tells Jason and Sam about the numbers on the timeline. Sam wonders why Jake would draw the chimera so close to his birthday. Elizabeth and Franco tell them about the birthday trip, and how Jake seemed like he was being told not to go. Sam wonders if it’s just an excuse. Franco thinks they’re running out of time, and Jason agrees.

Valentin says what’s an act of kindness between mortal enemies, and Anna asks if that’s what they are. The car won’t start, and Valentin thinks it’s weird since he just used it. He says he’ll get her an Uber. She says he’s stuck with her for a while longer.

Ava tells Scotty, okay, she’ll table the Avery talk. At least for tonight. He still wants to go for drinks, but she feels like she doesn’t have much to celebrate anymore. He changes her mind, and tells her that she has to buy all the rounds.

Carly tells Josslyn to count to ten and listen. Her divorce has nothing to do with Josslyn. She and Sonny have difficulties, and right now are bringing out the worst in each other, but agree that they love their kids. What he did wasn’t right, but neither one of them want Josslyn to be hurt. They hug.

Sonny goes to The Haunted Star and gets a scotch, telling the bartender to leave the bottle. A woman sitting at the bar says somebody had a bad day. He says he doesn’t like to whine about his problems. She asks if he’d rather drown them in scotch, and says that’s why she’s not married. He asks why she thinks it has to do with his marriage. She says lucky guess. He says it’s over soon anyway, and asks if he can buy her a drink.

Carly suggests that Josslyn stay with her dad for a while. She thinks Josslyn could use some distance. Josslyn doesn’t want Carly to be alone, but Carly says she has Michael on her side. Josslyn says he wants a truce, but she wants Carly to take Sonny for all he has. She says maybe she can spend time in the summer there, and Carly can come with her. Carly says she can come for a couple of weeks, but can’t be there for an extended time. She doesn’t want to use Jax as a crutch; it wouldn’t be fair to any of them. Josslyn asks if she’s going to make up with Sonny, but Carly says it’s over. Josslyn asks why she’s still wearing her ring.

Sonny and the stranger sit at a table. She says she’s visiting from LA. They talk about the beach, and Sonny says that he has interests in the Caribbean. They toast to warm water and white sand. Scotty and Ava walk in. The woman asks Sonny if he surfs, and he says hell no. Neither does she.

Franco says the detail shows that Jake has seen it before. Jason says the obvious conclusion would be that he saw it on the island, but Helena likes misdirection. Sam thinks they need a break. Elizabeth says they can start fresh in the morning, and they agree not to question Jake. Jason says whether he likes it or not, Jake thinks he has a connection with Franco, and tells Franco to do the right thing. After they’re gone, Franco wonders what that was about.

Anna asks Valentin to stay until the Uber comes. She says she doesn’t consider them mortal enemies, and asks him not to shut her out. He thinks it’s better that way. She says for what it’s worth, she’s grateful he didn’t seek revenge and turn the Chimera Project over to the DVX. He says they weren’t the only ones interested, and she asks if he turned it over to someone else.

The woman says boring stuff to Sonny about the beach. Ava tells Scotty that it didn’t take Sonny long to get over his heartbreak. Scotty says he’s getting the car, and tells her to meet him out front. Sonny tells the woman it’s been great chatting, but he has to go. He says the drinks are already paid for. She tells him good night and leaves. He takes his ring off and follows her. What? Have we learned nothing from Nelle? Ava makes a soap opera face.

Carly looks at her ring and wonders why she’s still wearing it. Josslyn returns, and they leave together.

Anna says something must have stopped Valentin, and he says don’t be so sure. If he took it further, she has to know. The Uber arrives, and he says right on time. He helps her out of the car, but she still wants an answer. She mentions that it’s nice he still has the watch, and I wish he’d jump up and down on it already. He leaves her there, and she makes an even better soap opera face than Ava.

Jason thanks Sam for her help. She says she’d do anything for him. She didn’t want to frighten Elizabeth, but whatever Helena did to him and Jake, she thinks it’s all tied together. Jason does too, and thinks the chimera is the key, and Greece is the place to start. He has to go back to Cassadine Island.

Franco says Jason can’t take it back now. Elizabeth says that Jake is important to him and Sam. She suggests they go to bed. Franco says he saw something online that he didn’t want to tell them about. According to legend, the chimera foreshadows disaster. If you were paying attention, I told you this yesterday.

Tomorrow, Nathan is happy that Maxie is coming back, Tracy has an announcement, Sonny gets busy, and Lucy gets the Nurses Ball together. I can’t wait to see how she loses her dress this year. It’s right up there with the Quartermaines having pizza on Thanksgiving. Soap tradition is everything.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we last left Maxine, the cops were running from Kelly’s house, coughing. It’s gas. An officer says someone left the stove on. Travis and Justice are nowhere to be found. Esperanza tries to get Kelly to calm down.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots returns on June 20.

Peter calls for Alex, who’s in the laundry room, crying. He tells her the police are everywhere outside. Alex thinks it has something to do with her. She tells Peter to take his sister upstairs. She opens the door, and Rick is standing there. He says they’re looking for a lost boy. Esperanza tells her that they can’t find Justice, but Alex says he’s with her, upstairs. And here he is. Kelly asks why he didn’t answer his phone. He says he was talking to Travis, and Kelly tells him to never talk to Travis again, and never get in his car.

Esperanza tells Alex that Travis has been stalking Kelly, and took Justice without telling her. Alex is shocked because Travis has always been nice. Esperanza tells Rick that means nothing. Kelly wants him arrested, and Rick tells her to come to the station. She wants to bring Justice, but Alex promises not to let him out of her sight. Kelly leaves with Rick. I’m hoping Kelly ends up with Rick.

Steven asks Ben if he was in the captain’s office, but he says no. Eddie watches with as much interest as he’s capable of. Steven takes Ben into the office, and asks if he should look at the tape. He knows Pete was using the computer. Pete says he was just looking something up, but Steven doesn’t buy it. He used the captain’s code to log into the FBI website, and Steven wants to know why. Ben says Eddie told him that he works with Steven, and asks if they’re “down.” Steven asks if he wants to be fired, and Ben says do what he has to. Relenting, Ben tells Steven that he was told to find out about Claudia by Eddie. When Steven asks why, he tells him to ask Eddie. Eddie gets called into the office.

Steven asks why he sent Ben to look Claudia up. Eddie says better that Ben get fired than him. At least with Eddie, you know where you’re at. Steven says they have nothing on her, but Eddie insists she’s FBI. He tells Steven that he had a run in with Julius the other day. Julius wanted him to take out three people – Quan, Quan’s mother, and Claudia. He doesn’t know why. He says it’s his in, and he already has one down, even though he had nothing to do with it; Lushion’s son pulled the trigger. He says if he gets the others, Julius will be in debt to him. Steven says they’re loyal until they kill you, but if Eddie gets in with Escada, he wants in too. Ben asks what happened when Eddie comes out, and Eddie calls him a dumbass.

Tyrell calls his mother from prison. She asks if he’s heard from the parole board, but he hasn’t yet. He says he’s calling to tell her to stop giving Kelly a hard time. He says she’s raising their son, and he needs her to be there for him. He says Justice is doing fantastic in school, and Kelly is a good mother. He took this fall for Justice, so let Kelly take her time telling him. Diane says it isn’t fair, and she doesn’t like it. He says she’ll do it when the time is right. Diane agrees to get off of Kelly’s back. He says he’ll be out soon enough.

Randal sees Natalie getting out of a taxi and calls to her. She ignores him. He says he wants to talk to her, and tells her welcome to the neighborhood. She asks what he really wants. He says he wants to apologize, since they haven’t gotten along. She says they never will, and tells him to move along. She doesn’t know, like, or trust him. If he was on fire, she wouldn’t spit on him. He says he thought she’d want to know that Lushion has been cheating on her; he saw Lushion coming out of Alex’s house, and Alex told him they were. Natalie tells him to stop lying, and he says that Alex says the baby is Lushion’s. She says good-by; she’s not listening to him. Good move, but you know it has to be on her mind now.

Randal leaves, and Natalie strides over to Alex’s house. She knocks, and Alex invites her in. Alex asks about Joey, and says they must be moving in soon. Natalie says soon, but she’s not sure exactly when. She asks if Lushion dropped by today, and Alex says he did. Natalie asks why, and Alex asks if she’s been home. Natalie says no, and Alex says that Lushion was just checking on her. Natalie asks how long it took, and Alex says not long. She asks where Brad is, and Alex tells her that he moved out. Natalie says, so it’s just her and the kids, and Alex says yes, asking if everything is okay. Natalie says she’s fine, and she has to get back. Awkward exchange.

Natalie goes back to the new house. She sees Lushion on the porch. She asks if he went to Alex’s house today, and he says no. She keeps asking if he’s sure, and then tells him that Alex said he was. He says oh, yeah, he was. She says Alex told her he was asking about mail and he agrees. Natalie says she doesn’t like being lied to, and asks why he went over there and why he lied. He keeps trying to get her to come in the house, and she asks how many times he’s seen Alex when she wasn’t there. He asks what’s gotten into her. She asks if they’re sleeping together. He says he knows she’s tired, and he’s going to forget that. She asks if that’s because he doesn’t want to lie. She says she’ll go ask Alex herself. He says he’ll be there after she makes a fool of herself.

Natalie goes back to Alex’s house. After finding out the kids are upstairs, she asks Alex if she and Lushion are messing around. Alex asks if Randal told her that, and says she’d told him they were, but they’re not. Natalie asks why she said that, and Alex says she was in a bind. She tells Natalie about the court hearing, and how she had to think of something quickly. She told the judge she doesn’t know who the baby’s father is, and when Randal pointed out the baby is half-Black, she couldn’t think of anyone else. Natalie asks if she has fantasies about Lushion, and Alex says she wouldn’t do that to her. Natalie says she did it to Marcie. Alex says she knows it was wrong, and she’s sorry, but she’s never spent more than three minutes alone with Lushion. He came over to borrow something. She can’t say what; it’s a surprise. Natalie tells her to keep Lushion’s name out of her mouth, and Alex says she will. Natalie says people get hurt talking this kind of crap, and she needs to tell Randal the truth before it gets around. Alex promises she will, and tells Natalie she’s sorry again.

Natalie goes back to the house. Lushion has it all furnished and decorated. She asks if he did this, and he says he’s not talking to her. She apologizes. He says no, and asks if she talked to Alex, and Natalie explains why Alex said what she did. He says Natalie jumped on him because of some lies. She says she asked him a question and he lied. He shows her the candle, and says he wanted it to be a surprise. He says she’d better be glad he loves her. He asks if she likes the place. He tried to find things she had circled in magazines, and she didn’t know he was paying attention. He says they’re not exactly the same; they’re cheaper versions, and she says she loves it. And she loves him. She says she’s sorry, and he’s like, Alex? Please. His phone rings, and Natalie tells him to answer it while she looks around.

It’s Pete. Lushion says his timing is bad. Pete tells him that he was in physical therapy with a kid who got shot. He said the kid knew Lushion, and said that he’d gotten shot because Lushion was a weak officer. Then a bunch of cops came in and took him away for violating probation. Lushion asks what the kid’s name was, and Pete says Joey. Lushion asks when they picked him up, and Pete says about an hour ago, and they were taking him to the infirmary. Pete asks what’s wrong, and Lushion says Joey is his son. Pete says he’s sorry, and Lushion says not as sorry as he’s going to be when he tells Joey’s mother.

Natalie looks around and everything is beautiful. Either Lushion is really gay or had help.

Pete apologizes again, and Lushion says he’s grateful for the information. He goes in one of the bedrooms where Natalie is crying happy tears. She says it’s what she always wanted. Not for her, but for the kids. He says he knows. She wonders if they could get the girls a scholarship for a certain school, and Lushion says maybe they can. She goes into the master bedroom and sits on the bed. She suggests they break it in. He tells her that Joey is in jail, and that they picked him up from the hospital. She says, Lord have mercy, if it ain’t one thing it’s another. Boy, did she get that one correctly. He tells her it’s all right, and they’ll get through it.

Meanwhile, Kelly runs into Diane at the station. Diane says Tyrell could be coming home; they’re making his parole decision. She wants to make sure everything is ready. She has a key, and if he gets out today, she’s bringing him over. Kelly wants her key back. She says Tyrrell isn’t coming to her house. Diane says she can tell him to his face. Kelly goes in to make her statement.

Randal comes to Brad’s office. Bead wants to kick his ass, but Randal says that Brad should hear what he has to say first. He wants to apologize, but Brad says get out. Randal says he’s dropping the lawsuit, and gives him the declaration. Brad starts counting. Randal babbles, saying the baby might be Lushion’s. Brad still counts, and gets up from his chair at nine. Randal says he’s going. Eddie walks in. He asks what the hell Randal is doing there. Brad says he was just about to leave, but Eddie says he’s not going anywhere. The party is just getting started.

Next time, Eddie draws gun on Randal, Lushion has to take a paternity test, and Marcie tells the doctor that Alex is the one who slept with her husband.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We meet the new cast, and I already feel behind. The chief stew is still Hannah, so at least there’s someone I’ll remember.

Destination Croatia; yacht name, Sirocco. Captain Sandy welcomes Hannah aboard. The captain says she’s not a micromanager, but she does observe, and doesn’t want her image tarnished. Captain Sandy does a walk-through with Hannah. The cabinets need massive organization, as things fall out of them when they’re opened. Chef Adam arrives. He lives in a van. Not by the river. He’s a surfer dude, who follows tasty waves.

Bosun Wesley is next. He’ll be Adam’s cabinmate. Captain Sandy tells Adam to come to her with any issues. He asks if she’s the chief stew, and she tells him she’s the captain. She’s used to it, so she isn’t offended. Bobby is also back this season, and he has braces. Stew Lauren has already met Hannah, when Hannah stayed with Bobby in New York and Lauren dated him. Seriously small world. Bobby is hoping things won’t be awkward. Bugsy is the second stew, although her real name is Christine.

Wes and Bobby load stuff onto the yacht, and deckhand Max shows up. He wonders how hard yachting can be. Malia, also a deckhand, rounds out the crew. It turns out Bugs and Wes know each other.

Captain Sandy has a team meeting. She says she’s not an a-hole unless you don’t follow the rules. She’s had every scenario happen to her, including being chased by pirates. She seems pretty cool, but I miss Captain Lee, and hope they do another season with him.

The captain is concerned about the clean up being done in time for charter. The crew gets to know one another while getting the boat ready. Bobby chats up Malia. The captain calls for Wes, Adam, and Hannah. The primary guest is Melissa, and the group is fitness minded. They also want a tribal themed dinner. Adam thinks their food restrictions are bogus, but he’s being paid, so he doesn’t care. Wes tells us that he’s “not the most smartest of people,” and we need subtitles to even understand what he’s saying.

Hannah meets with the stews. Bugs has been a chief stew before, and Lauren grew up in the hospitality industry. Hannah says she works hard, but she’ll always have time for any issues. The captain reminds the crew of their 9 pm curfew. Bobby and Hannah chat, and we flash back to Bobby cursing Hannah out the previous season. The captain insists Hannah get to bed early. She says the reason she’s so successful is that her crew gets rest.

Bobby thinks Wes’s name is Wiz because no one can understand him. The guests arrive. Bobby says they have a bunch of cougars. Now I remember how freaking annoying he is. Captain Sandy says her crew is not only professional, but sexy. Hannah gives the tour. Very nice; lots of beautiful wood with an African theme. I like the simpler décor. Except for the gold bathroom fixtures. There’s no getting away from those. It’s time to shove off.

Bobby says this season he’s here to work, as opposed to last season when his job seemed to be not leaving Julia alone. The crew has lunch in the galley. Chef Adam uses Post-It notes to remember who has what food tolerances. Bugs is into decorating, and the guest table looks awesome. A sea/starfish theme. The guests talk about what they’re going to do while on charter. Adam tells us that Eddie Vedder’s wife once threw a live octopus at him and told him to cook it. He pried it off his arm, and ended up getting a standing ovation for the meal. The guests are served. They think the food is amazing, and it looks amazing. Hannah is getting along with Adam, and hopes he doesn’t have a dark side.

The wind is picking up, and the yacht is dragging anchor. Captain Sandy calls Wes to the bridge, and says the anchor has to be pulled so they don’t crash into the rocks. An alarm keeps going off. The deckhands get the anchors up. The captain explains about the anchorage to the guests, and tells them that they have to head to port, but tomorrow, they can play in the water. Lauren cuts herself, and Adam helps her out. She thinks he’s adorable, and decides to spend more time in the galley. Yeah, they’re always adorable until they become divas. Wes guides the captain in. Great, the guy who can’t talk. They manage to dock safely.

Croatia is absolutely gorgeous! Bobby talks with Max about having dated Lauren. Adam prepares dinner. I want to charter a yacht just to eat the meals. Another beautifully decorated table is presented. One of the guests says it’s like a piece of artwork. Truth! The food is too. Adam sneaks in extra butter. Dinner is a success. A few of the guests stay up for espresso martinis. And then late-night nachos. Hannah tells us that waking up a chef is never fun, and I take her word for it. Adam wonders what happened to the preference sheet when Hannah tells him they want nachos with everything, including meat. Hannah says, I’m a vegan, but my alter-ego is a sixteen-year-old stoner.

The captain tells the guests that they’ll be anchoring if they want to do water sports. Breakfast happens. Bugs is annoyed because Adam wants her to write down the orders, but he thinks it works well for accountability. The crew gets the water toys together, and sets up a picnic on the beach. Captain Sandy says it’s the greenest crew she’s ever had. And she doesn’t mean ecologically. She teaches Malia how to drive the tinder. Hannah thinks it’s not the time to be giving lessons, and gets irritated when she finds out the food is arriving with the guests, since she’d wanted to have it set up first. She doesn’t know whether she’ll last the season.

Speaking of this season, Bobby has a good time, Bobby flirts, Bobby argues with Hannah, on board romance, an overflowing sink, complaining guests, and helium inhalation.

yacht-sirocco

 

 

April 30, 2017 – Rumpelstiltskin’s Beginnings & the Amish Return

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Once Upon a Time

What I missed last week: Zelena tried to fight the Black Fairy, but she didn’t do very well, and Regina suggested that she go back to Oz. In the past, Zelena turned a dude into the Tin Man when he suggested she needed to make friends more than she needed to time travel. In Storybrooke, Emma and Hook’s wedding was in the planning stages, but Emma thought they should postpone it until the Black Fairy was out of the picture. Zelena made up with Regina, who ended up being proud of her when she stopped one of the Black Fairy’s spells, but she still ended up having dinner alone. The gang got the Blue Fairy’s heart started again, but she’s still not awake. She knows the Black Fairy’s darkest secret, so the Black Fairy isn’t very happy. Damn. I guess I am a little wordy as a general rule.

Moving on to tonight.

The Black Fairy (Fiona) is giving birth. It’s a baby with Robert Carlyle’s head on it. Not really, but that would be funny. It’s a boy. The Blue Fairy and Fairy Tiger Lily drop in. Tiger Lily is also the baby’s godmother. They talk about a child known as the Savior.

In Storybrooke, Gold pokes at a dead baby dragon, trying to extract medicine for the Blue Fairy. She breaths it in, but nothing happens. Gold is pissed off, and goes outside, sending a newspaper vending machine flying. Belle tells him to stop it. He says the Black Fairy has Gideon’s heart, and he doesn’t want to lose another son. He feels like it’s their family’s fate to be torn apart. Emma calls them inside. The Blue Fairy is awake.

Hook starts pumping her for information. The Black Fairy appears, and David turns into Gideon. The Black and Blue (ha-ha) Fairies disappear, poof! in a puff of black smoke. Gold tells Gideon that it’s time to get his heart back.

Zelena has given up her magic, and is having trouble putting a piece of baby furniture together. And you definitely need magic for a task like that. She says she’s useless, but Regina tells her that she helped them all by sacrificing her magic. She wonders how she’ll protect her daughter, and Regina has an idea.

Belle tries to find out where Gideon’s heart is, and Emma wants to go after the Black Fairy. Gold asks if Belle trusts him, and she says she trusts he’ll do what’s right for their family. He’s going to Gideon’s dream realm with Emma. He throws some golden glitter in the air, and the three of them – Gold, Gideon, and Emma – fall asleep.

In a dream forest, Gold tells Emma the Black Fairy can’t control the dream realm. They look for Gideon. Gold says he brought Emma with him to stop her from doing anything in Storybrooke before it’s time. They approach a cottage in the woods. Inside, an empty cradle rocks. They hear a lullaby. Gold tells Emma he was born there. She says it’s his dream, not Gideon’s. He says maybe so, but his son is there somewhere.

Back in the day, the Fiona sings to her baby. Fairy Tiger Lily appears. Startled, Fiona draws a sword. She says she hasn’t been able to eat or sleep since finding out that her baby is the Savior. She’s been reading up on fairy lore, and Tiger Lily says it’s their job to protect him, and her job to raise him. Fiona says that motherhood makes you soft and sharp at the same time. Tiger Lily holds the baby. Fiona grabs Tiger Lily’s wand, says some magic words, and turns into a fairy. Tiger Lily says it’s not possible.

In the awake and now, Regina has gotten a car for Zelena. I have no clue about cars, but it’s very cute and retro-looking. Or old and in really good shape. Zelena has never driven anything except a broom. Regina tells her it’s time to drive another kind of stick, and gives Zelena a driving lesson. It doesn’t go well.

Regina tells Zelena that Henry will want to fight to the end in the final battle, but not everyone makes it out. She says he can’t be anywhere near it, and wants Zelena to take him to New York. He can be safe, and start a new life with her. Zelena asks if Regina trusts her to raise Henry, and Regina says she trusts Henry to raise Zelena.

Snow calls Regina from the clocktower. She wants to know what Blue meant about the center of town. Regina says the center of Storybrooke means the heart. Snow says it must be Granny’s. Regina tells Zelena she’ll have to sit this one out.

The Blue Fairy is imprisoned by the Black Fairy. She wants to know where the rest of the wand is. She says there are ways to get information besides Blue talking – and they’re more fun. She produces a bunch of tools that look like archaic medical instruments.

Way back when, Tiger Lily and the Black Fairy check out a baby. Tiger Lily says they’ve looked at a million of them, and none had the crescent scar she’s looking for. The Black Fairy says there’s one out there who’s destined to kill her son, but they haven’t tried everything yet. It won’t be easy, but with Tiger Lily’s help, she can create a new spell. Tiger Lily says it’s forbidden, but the Black Fairy says stop being afraid and help her. She needs to get into the secret fairy vault.

In dreamland, Emma wants to know that Gold is really on her side. He asks if she’s serious. He says his mother never did one thing a mother should. She didn’t even give him a name. He won’t shed a single tear when she’s defeated.

Gideon appears. They hug. Gideon thanks Gold for fighting for him. Gold gets weepy, and asks where the heart is, but Gideon doesn’t know. The Black Fairy has it well-hidden. Gold thinks they’re finished, but Gideon says the secret lies in the reason the Black Fairy gave Gold up. They see a baby in a basket. Gideon says all his answers are inside him, but he has to be willing to face them.

Fast forwarding, Regina and the others tear Granny’s apart, looking for rest of the wand. Hook and David move the jukebox, and find a secret compartment in the floor. Inside is a box with the piece in it. Regina takes it, but Snow asks how they know she isn’t the Black Fairy. They know, because the Black Fairy is suddenly there behind Regina. Regina says she’s not giving the wand up without a fight. The Black Fairy says she’s never killed a queen, and Regina says she’s never killed a fairy. They both disappear, poof! in a puff of purple smoke.

Out on the street, the Black Fairy tells Regina that she invented this town, but Regina says she doesn’t even have the guts to inflict her own curse. Regina tells her that Zelena got her good, and the Black Fairy zaps Regina. Zelena nearly runs her over, accidentally on purpose, and she disappears, poof! in a cloud of ebony smoke.

In the realm of dreams, Emma tells Gold that it’s all right to be scared. No curse or monster will be as terrifying as finding out why he was abandoned. If he won’t do it for himself, do it for his son; it’s his story too. Gideon says he’s come this far, and Gold says okay. He looks at the baby blanket, and goes back in time.

Fairy Fiona cuddles baby Gold in the secret vault of the fairies. She places him in a basket. She tells Tiger Lily that wolfbane is the last ingredient. Tiger Lily realizes she’s creating a curse, not a spell. Fiona says it will protect her child, but Tiger Lily won’t let her cast it. She’s trying to correct something that will never be. Fiona says she’ll banish him to a land without magic, but Tiger Lily says every other child will end up there. Fiona begs her to reconsider, saying that fairies are supposed to protect children. Tiger Lily says he’s destined to die, so others may live; it’s the fate of the Savior. Fiona steals Tiger Lily’s heart, saying that if she has to destroy his godmother to protect him, she will. At that moment, she turns into the Black Fairy. Tiger Lily says she’ll know the great evil by the crescent it bears, and we see a crescent scar on the Black Fairy’s wrist. Tiger Lily tells her that evil wasn’t born, it was made. The Black Fairy says that she’s the great evil. She and her son are destined to destroy each other.

Gold, Emma and Gideon come back from the dream realm. Regina says now that nap time is over, it’s time for battle. Emma says she doesn’t think it’s her; It’s on Gold. Regina is like whaaa…? Belle asks if it’s true, and Gold says it is. She says all these years she knew he was good, now he knows it too. Gideon asks to help, but Gold days he’s put him in enough danger. He looks at the wand, and says it’s best he faces his mother alone.

Gold wanders around with the wand. The Black Fairy appears. He says the wand was meant to destroy her; as was he. She says he found out. He says in some ways he always knew; he just needed to remember. He was meant to be the Savior, but she left him, because she was afraid he’d kill her. She says he has an answer, but not the answer. She asks to show him what happened.

In the past, Tiger Lily says they can find another way, but the Black Fairy says they tried and failed. The Blue Fairy appears, and says they won’t be crushing any hearts today. Tiger Lily brings out the shears, and tells the Black Fairy to sever her powers. The Black Fairy suggests severing the baby’s destiny instead, and she’ll still be strong enough to protect him. The Blue Fairy tells her that he’s destined to be the Savior, and immobilizes her. The Black Fairy says she’ll get them back, and gets sucked into a gold portal.

Back to the present, Gold asks why she lied. She says she was banished, and it was easier to let him hate her. He says she chose her power over his, and she says she was trying to protect him. He says he’s made the same decision, and knows a lie when he hears it. She sentenced him to a life of cowardice. She says she wanted to protect him. She tells him that the world is a dangerous place, and he says because of villains like you and me. She says if her choice was wrong, she did it out of love. She’s sorry she caused him pain. He asks about Gideon, and she says his pain made him strong. Gold says their family history is dark, and he tried to save Balefire and Gideon. She says he understands she loves him, and they can be a family. She asks if he can forgive her.

Flashing back, the Blue Fairy and Tiger Lily bring the baby to his father. They tell him there was an accident while Fiona was trying to protect their son. He asks how can he raise his son alone? Tiger Lily says by trying. His son needs his father and a name. He says his wife is dead thanks to him. He names the baby Rumpelstiltskin. I’m not sure why this is necessarily a bad thing in a world where there are dwarves named Grumpy and Sneezy.

Moving forward, Gold tells the gang that he’s banishes the Black Fairy for good, and the Blue Fairy is safe and back with her kind. Snow says good, the wedding can happen tomorrow, because being mother-of-the-bride, it’s all she can think about. Emma tells Gold that he did good as Savior. Gold gives Gideon back his heart. Gideon thanks him, and Gold tells him welcome home. Gideon tells Belle he missed her. He apologizes for letting the Black Fairy take control. Gold says he doesn’t have to worry about her ever again and that it’s over now. The Black Fairy will never be a problem for them again.

Belle is proud that he fought for the family, and saved their son. Gold says everything he does is to keep Gideon safe, even though it might not be apparent at the time.

Back home, Hook tells Henry that they’ve been through a lot, but now he’s going to give Henry the most important mission yet: Operation Best Man. For the next 24-hours, Henry has to keep the wedding rings safe. If he doesn’t, his mother will kill him. Emma joins them, and Hook tells her that a seafaring man doesn’t take superstition lightly. He’s leaving for tonight, but tomorrow, Emma will have a hard time getting rid of him.

The Black Fairy asks Gold if they trusted him and believed the heart was hers. He says no one doubts him. She says that he may have been born the Savior, but he adores being the Dark One. Gold says, call it a family trait. He says that Gideon is safe, and has no idea what’s to come. The Black Fairy says, at long last a happy ending for their family. Gold says that in the final battle he may no longer be the Savior, but one still stands, and tomorrow is a special day for Emma – the day she dies.

🎶 Next time, a very special musical episode. Snow wishes on a star, and a spell is cast, making everyone break into song. I could make an un-PC joke about the Fairy Fairy, but, well, there, I did. It’s a wedding special event!

🐎 I spent most of today watching the Return to Amish marathon, airing in preparation for their season premiere that I’m watching right now. It was a great trip down Amish Memory Lane. It’s my understanding that some of it, at least at the beginning, was somewhat contrived. For instance, Abe and Rebecca were already married when they filmed the couple’s wedding. The situations are real though, and it’s never taken away from my enjoyment of the show. Growing up in Ohio, when I was a kid, we made many day trips to “the Amish country” in Pennsylvania, so I also appreciate the scenery. Not to mention the cast going to NYC on a few occasions. What draws me to the show though, isn’t the breaking or returning to Amish. From the jump, the way these kids talked, you knew they were in contact with the outside world. There are also things like “hut parties,” where the young Amish cut loose, and Esther introduced us to an Amish chat line when she was in NYC. This is interesting for sure, but while I’d love for Lisa Vanderpump to adopt me, I’d also like Mary Schmucker to be my grandmother. Second only to LVP, she is my all-time favorite reality cast member. She’s like if you had an old school grandmother who was stellar at knitting afghans and baking pies, but was still a hundred times cooler than you. In the Best. Episode. Ever. Mary beat some college kids at beer pong her first time playing it, and outdrank them. Mary has been shunned by the church (which she explains is not as bad as banished, but not much better), but continues to stand up for herself, telling off the elder (or whatever) who kicked her out of her own father’s funeral. I even checked to see how far Punxsutawney is from me, so I could personally shake Mary’s hand, but it’s a bit of a drive. At present, she’s a genius at selling Tupperware, and I’d love to go to one of her parties. I love how she holds on to her core values, but knows bs when she sees it. Mary is definitely the breakout star of this show.

🔊 Have you ever noticed that the loudest thing in the world is somebody trying to be quiet? Just sayin’.

Mary

April 25, 2017 – Nina Gets a Horse, Alex Lies About Lushion & a Beverly Hills Farewell

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Michael plays pool by himself. Lulu and Dante walk in, and Michael tells them about Jax being released. He says Nelle did something good for Jax, but it doesn’t absolve her. Lulu says as bad as it was, it takes two, and Michael asks if Nelle didn’t tell them. Lulu says she can tell them herself right now, since she just walked in.

Valentin is looking for his watch. It’s in Nina’s hand. Listening in, Anna tells her to mind her own business, raising my blood pressure by 100 points, since she should be minding her own business and Nina is married to Valentin, so it is her business.

Tracy tells Ned that the only option is for Samira to leave. Or wait for immigration to come with a warrant. Samira says she’s not leaving without the painting. It’s the only way to save her daughter.

Finn runs into Hayden. He asks if they can make it not awkward. Griff comes along, and says Finn’s test came back positive. Because Brad had his grubby little hands on it. He doesn’t say that last part, but we know it.

Nina wonders why Valentin needed another watch. He says he used to do questionable things for money, and now he has money to buy questionable things. He says he indulged himself, but he’d rather indulge her. He’s bought her a horse. They go to the stables, and the watch gets left on the table. Poor Anna. She can’t listen in. I’m just devastated.

Griff tells Finn it’s not specific, but it’s some form of opiate. Finn says that’s impossible, but Griff says they ran it twice. Finn wonders if there’s still a trace of Zen-Zen in his system. He says the test needs to be repeated, but he thinks it’s a mistake. Griff says next time it had better show a decrease, and under no circumstances is he to treat patients. When Griff leaves, Hayden asks if Finn has been using.

Tracy says she’s just trying to help. Samira says she can’t leave without the painting. Laura says it’s more than a reminder of Tracy’s father, and has the power to save a life. What if she was in Samira’s shoes? She didn’t even know it existed a few months ago, and the real connection is the letter. Tracy wonders how she’d get it out of the country – it’s bound to bring attention to the expired visa. Samira says Tracy isn’t going to change her mind, and leaves the room. Ned thinks it requires further investigation. Laura wonders if Samira turns out to be Tracy’s sister, if she’ll change her mind, or does she want her out of sight before that happens?

Finn tells Hayden that he knows he’s an addict. If he uses again, he’ll lose everything. He wants to get out of the hole he’s dug for himself, and get everyone’s respect back. Hayden asks why he’s sweating, and he tells her that he did a workout on his lunch break. He says a way to cope with addiction is to distract oneself, and she can talk to Felix, who was there with him. She asks why the test came back positive, but Finn doesn’t know. Hayden asks him to promise he’s playing by the rules, and he says not exactly.

Michael approaches Nelle, and asks her to talk to Dante. At the table, Lulu says Nelle is crazy about Michael. She says unfortunately, she likes Nelle, and thinks Michael was into her before the thing happened with Sonny. Dante says they’re not in the loop, and don’t know what happened. Lulu suggests he take his detective hat off and they enjoy the evening.

Nina loves her horse; she’d always wanted one of her own. She says that Lumière is the perfect name. Valentin tells her that its a horse of a different rare color. Nina says that Lumière defies light and glows, and Valentin says that she does too. They start to kiss, and pervert Anna has no shame. Her doorbell rings. It’s Griff.

Griff asks why Anna hasn’t returned his calls or texts. She didn’t show up for a phlebotomy, and she has no idea how dangerous that is. He wants her to go right now, but she tells him to wait. She says she’s fine, and Griff says she’s not super human. He explains how it can cause a blood clot. He threatens to call Robin. She says she doesn’t want them to intervene; she’s already had her treatment. She decided to go to a private facility. GH is too public, with everyone being so concerned. It’s lovely in theory, but she doesn’t want the fuss. He says left to her own devices, she could skip a treatment. She asks him to respect her wishes and privacy. He tells her that blood cancer is nothing to be remiss about, and he’s also worried about her and Valentin. She says that Valentin’s accusations were right; she was very cruel to him. Griff says it doesn’t sound like her, and she says they all have their pasts. He asks what’s next between them.

Nina says she wants to go riding, but Valentin wants to change her mind.

Lulu and Dante sit at a table. Lulu says that they’re celebrating how well her first visit with Charlotte went, and asks Dante to put police business aside. Nelle tells Michael he could have her arrested. Lulu interrupts, and asks how Nelle’s new job is going. Nelle says that Charlotte loved the Easter egg hunt and seeing the bunny. Lulu is glad they had a chance to bond.

Dante talks to the bartender. He tells him about the pills, and wonders how they got there. He asks if the bartender had seen them, but he says no.

Finn tells Hayden that it has nothing to do with drugs. He had a friend come to him with a problem, and he offered to help. She asks what Tracy wanted. He says he could get in trouble, but it was important to the one friend he has. At least if he gets in trouble, it won’t be for drugs.

Laura says she knows who Tracy is deep down, and she’s better than this. Tracy says it hasn’t been proven yet, but Laura tells her to just do the right thing. Ned comes in with Samira, and says he’s making phone calls to see if there’s something else he can do. He asks Tracy to take her somewhere safe that’s close by, but Samira collapses.

Lulu tells Dante about Charlotte loving their visit. He says good, now she doesn’t have to pull any tricks with Valentin. She admits she was considering having Nelle spy on her, or involve Michael.

Michael tells Nelle that it sucks being the prize in a custody war. Nelle asks how he knows, and he tells her about several over him. He says he spent a lot of time being shuttled back and forth, knowing the people he loved were angry because of him. Nelle wonders if he could explain it to Charlotte. Or maybe not. She says if he wants to talk to Dante, do it now, because she doesn’t like the threat hanging over her.

Hayden brings up Finn saying she was a gold-digger, but he doesn’t remember saying it. He says she changed, showing compassion and love when he needed it, and he’s going to change too. He knows he has a long way to go, but he’s working on it. He talks about when they first met, and tells her that she’s succeeded. He will too, but it won’t be easy. Maybe she can see he’s on the right path to being the man she can trust.

Tracy comes into the hospital with Samira. Finn directs them to an examining room. He says he can’t help her, but Tracy says it’s an emergency. Finn asks a nurse to get her vitals. Tracy asks if he’ll treat Samira.

Anna tells Griff that she and Valentin made a truce. Griff says that Valentin doesn’t seem like the forgiving type. He doesn’t trust Valentin, and doesn’t think she should. Finn calls, and tells Griff that it’s an emergency. He says she has an expired visa and immigration is after her, and maybe Griff can help. Griff tells Anna he has to go, but they’ll have dinner another time. As soon as he’s gone, she schedules the phlebotomy that she didn’t really get.

Valentin tells Nina he loves her and she transformed his life. She’s made him happier than he deserves to be. He was a bad man who did bad things. He never really changed until Charlotte came along. Nina says that she hasn’t been a nice person either. He says her choices were made out of pain. He just wants her and Charlotte to be happy. He’s sorry about the whole business with Anna, and apologizes. Nina says she loves the horse, but all he has to do is be honest with her.

Anna listens in. Nina says she has to give Valentin honesty in return. She says the Anna thing bothered her. He says that Anna’s past is as dingy as his own, and she offered a truce. Nina says the truth is, if you suspect cheating and it turns out to be true, it’s hard to trust again. She wonders if it’s something that will be with her forever, and says Jealousy makes people do crazy things. She doesn’t want to go backwards and give into herself because of Anna He says Anna isn’t a threat to them, and ominous Anna says they’ll see about that. Valentin suggests they go to the bedroom. Nina wants to ride first, and suggests they have dinner in bed. He says he has to run an errand, but will be back by dinner.

Anna calls Valentin when Nina leaves. He asks what she wants. She asks if it’s a bad time, and he says actually he needs to see her. She says she needs to see him too, and he says he’s on his way.

Michael tells Nelle it was up to his dad to talk to Dante, so she’s off the hook. He says he knows she wasn’t completely at fault, but he feels worst for Avery and Josslyn. She says she never meant to hurt them, and he tells her that revenge is like an explosion; you don’t know where it will hit. She says he’s never going to forgive her, and he says he doesn’t know. Her takeout food comes, and he says maybe someday he can forgive her. She leaves.

Lulu tells Dante that she was going to give Michael a nudge, but now she doesn’t have to. Dante says he can’t believe she’d use his brother for her personal gain, and she says it was her mom’s idea.

Griff gets to the hospital, and Finn tells Laura she’s in good hands. He tells Tracy that Samira could just be dehydrated and stressed. She asks about the DNA test, and he says it could be tonight or a few days. Ned pops out of nowhere, and asks Tracy what that was about.

Hayden tells Finn that she’s impressed he didn’t break his agreement. He says he’s trying. She says she sees that, and sees who he is when not under the influence. She’s going to give them time. He says that’s all he asks. She says it’s a deal.

Tracy tells Ned she’s just worried about Samira. He wonders why she cares so much so soon; it’s not like her. He says Edward is where she’s most vulnerable. He thinks the painting is key. Laura asks Tracy if she’s okay. She says not until she gets the test back, and that might not be for days.

Lulu tells Dante that Nelle screwed up, but might do better if someone believes in her.

Nina looks for Valentin, but he’s not there. She thinks back to when she found Anna in the living room with him. She says, please don’t be with Anna. Nelle tells her that Charlotte isn’t in her room, and Nina apologizes, telling Nelle that Charlotte is at a sleepover. Nelle says she has a book she wants to finish, a spy thriller, her favorite genre. Nina asks for a favor. She wants Nelle to put her love for spy thrillers to good use. She’d like Nelle to spy on someone.

Anna’s doorbell rings. Guess who? She invites Valentin in, and thanks him for coming. He says he’s just come to return the watch. I think she’s trying to smile romantically at him, but only succeeds in looking insane IMO. He says whatever was between them is over. She takes his hand and gives him another creepy smile.

Tomorrow, Nelle asks who Nina wants her to spy on, Sonny talks to Bobbie, and Carly says she won’t do anything that Sonny doesn’t deserve. Well, that sure leaves it open.

If Loving You is Wrong

I hope Officer Rick is going to be a thing. I’m starting to like him.

Alex is walking the kids home from school and they see Randal. He wants to talk to her, but she says she has to get the kids to bed. They remind her 3 pm is too early for bed. Well, that depends. She sends them inside, and Alex tells Randal to never bring them into it again. He tells her that jail might be safer for her now, after Natalie finds out she’s sleeping with Lushion. She tells him he’s mental. Randal asks if it’s Lushion’s baby, and she says wouldn’t he like to know? He says three men is a lot even for a pro ho like her. Although I would think that if you were a pro, that wouldn’t be very many. She tells him it’s four, and she’s not sure who the baby’s father is. He asks if she’s sleeping with Lushion, and she says yes. Why, Alex, why? Why get Lushion in trouble when he’s one of the few decent guys on this show? (Just in case you’re a new viewer, she’s lying. Lushion would never do such a thing.)

Randal calls Alex a slut, and she thanks him. He asks where they did it and she says mostly in the police car. She tells him to go ahead and tell Natalie. He wonders who she is, and she says she asks herself the same question every time she sees him. He regrets having met her, and she says finally, something they can agree on. He says he’ll make sure every day of her life is a living hell, which actually might be an improvement. She tells him to run along and start preparing. He suggests she sent her parents there to kill him. She’s like, sorry, sorry that they didn’t succeed. He says he sees a little, abused girl trying to be a woman. She tells him he must know that some of those women have sexual issues and she’s one of them. She wants it wherever and whenever she can get it. He tells her to shut up, and she says he’s the one who wanted to analyze her. She says he’s not as good as he thought. He says she loved every minute, and she says she kind of misses it. He tells her to hold on to the memory and she laughs. She teases him, talking about how she remembers when she’s alone at night. That’s when she calls Lushion and he makes her forget all about Randal. He says she’s lying. She asks if he got a good look at the baby, and that he looks just like Lushion. Randal says if the test comes back and the baby isn’t his, she’ll see what happens.

She asks if he wants her. She says she’s wearing the perfume he likes. She asks him to tell her. He says he doesn’t want her and hates her. She says that’s good because she hates him too. She suggests they meet in the shed. Randal says she’s up to something. She says not as much as him.

Eddie nearly runs them over. He jumps out of his truck, and starts screaming at the both of them. Alex’s kids come out, and she says everything is fine and to go back in. She tells them that Eddie lost control of his truck. Paisley says he was probably texting and driving. Surprisingly, Eddie holds it together, and tells them to get inside. He says Alex isn’t going anywhere until they talk. He asks what she’s doing, and says that the blonde dye has soaked into her head. He says he’s telling Brad, and she says go ahead. He wants to talk about the murder she committed. She’s like, huh? She says she didn’t kill anyone; she went to her parents to tell them to lay off of Randal. She had nothing to do with it, and she isn’t an accessory. He wonders who’s been training her on how to speak. He asks if Lushion has been talking to her about Andrew. She says she has nothing to do with that, and Eddie says she ran him over. We both go, what? Eddie claims he’s trying to help her, and she wonders when that’s ever happened. Eddie says Andrew has been missing since she ran him over. Alex asks what he wants. He says nothing, but if she keeps telling tall tales, it’s going to be a bad day, like it’s not already. He tells her Andrew is dead, and she says she didn’t do it. She asks why they haven’t found him, and Eddie says anything could have drug him into the swamp. He tells her to keep telling herself lies, but they both know the truth.

Kelly gets a call from her ex, Tyrell (I finally caught his name). He asks what’s wrong, and she says nothing, but he’s not buying it. She asks how he is, and he says he knows something is wrong for sure now. Kelly says it’s his mother. She came by asking for a key, but she wants to talk to Justice first. Tyrell understands, but Kelly says his mother didn’t. He says he’ll talk to her, but Kelly thinks it will just make her angrier. He says she just loves her baby boy, and Kelly says she loves hers too. He asks if she loves him too. She says Justice just got off the bus (a mother’s equivalent of saying there’s something on the stove), and asks if he can call her back. He tells her he loves her, and to give his love to Justice. He doesn’t seem awful. What’s up with that mother? Kelly calls Justice’s phone.

Lushion calls Natalie, asking where she is. She tells him she’s at work, but she’s on the way. She tells him that Mr. Kim came by the hospital and said he was sorry. He also offered Joey a job. He was glad Joey was there to protect Faun. She asks what’s wrong, and Lushion tells her to hurry up and get there. He says there’s a problem they need to solve, and he’ll tell her when she gets there.

Marcie comes to Brad’s office. She wonders if he’s been ignoring her calls, but he says he’s been swamped. She was thinking about what he said about Alex, and she’s going to stop. She has one condition – Alex needs to stop taunting her. She’s vague about how Alex is doing that, but says if Alex leaves her alone, she’ll leave Alex alone. He says he’ll mention it, and Marcie asks if he’s talking to Alex. He says no, but when Marcie says he’s thinking about it, he says maybe. She asks what that means for them, and he says they already talked about it. She says she’s not ready to give him up, and he tells her that she’s all over the place. She says she needs him. He says he’ll send her the rent. She says it’s not that. She has big decisions to make, and needs someone she trusts to help her through it.

Marcie sits on Brad’s lap. She tells him she cares about him, appreciates him, and really loves him. He says he loves her too, and they kiss. What is up with this? She wants him to know she’ll always love him whether they end up together or not, and he says he feels the same way. He wants her to get up, but she doesn’t want to, so he tickles her. He says her stomach is different. She says thanks, she just ate lunch. He wonders if she’s pregnant by him, but she says they both know that’s not possible. He says that would certainly get the town talking, and she says it would be the ultimate pay-back. She asks if he wants a child with her, but he says not in this situation. She asks if it would be that bad, and Brad says she’s scaring him. He says he’s going to be late. Marcie asks if he’s going to see Alex, and he says maybe. Marcie leaves, and Brad is like, whew!

Randal’s doorbell rings. It’s a woman who’s come to do the DNA test. She makes small talk about his house while she sets up the test. She tells him he has a lot of muscles, and he says she’s hot as hell. She says she used to compete. Seriously, would someone who does in-home DNA tests have this kind of conversation? She says they’re going to do both a swab and blood test. He asks what she’s doing later, and she tells him she’s having dinner with her wife and their kids. He asks if she’s a lesbian, and she says she doesn’t like labels. I roll my eyes at the both of them. She says even if she was into guys, she wouldn’t be into one who denies his kid. He says that’s not it; he wants custody. She says good for him; he’s one of the good guys. If she only knew. He wonders why she’s not testing anyone else. He tells her that Lushion was one of his ex’s partners, and he just lives down the block. She says she’ll get on it. She leaves while Randal flexes his muscles. He says she thinks she’s gay, but not when he’s done with her. Randal has reached a new low.

Esperanza and Rick are trying to track down Justice. They have the judge issuing warrants, but Rick says if the phone battery has been taken out, they can’t trace it. He asks if Kelly might have set this up. Esperanza says she wouldn’t do that, but Rick says that Travis tells a different story and has proof. He says that Travis has a text message, and Esperanza tells him that he’s acting like a rookie; she can vouch for Kelly. Rick asks why Kelly didn’t file a restraining order, and Esperanza says she did. He says only Travis has one on file, and there’s back up.  Esperanza tells him to just do his job. She calls Kelly, and tells her to relax and let the police handle things. Kelly is borderline hysterical, and Esperanza asks why she didn’t file the restraining order. Kelly thinks Esperanza is accusing her of being responsible for the kidnapping, and says that the lawyer didn’t call her back. Esperanza asks for the lawyer’s information. She tells Kelly to hold on.

Esperanza calls the lawyer, but he’s not in. She finds out that he’s at church. She asks what one, and thanks them. She tells Kelly that the lawyer isn’t returning her calls because he’s a member of Travis’s church. She gives the phone to Rick. He asks if Kelly heard anything in the background, but she didn’t. He says there’s an APB out, and asks if Travis would hurt Justice or where he might take him. Kelly doesn’t know. Esperanza says they’re sending someone to the church. Kelly says she can’t just sit there. Rick gets a check on Justice’s phone and jets. Kelly tells Esperanza that she’s coming to the station.

Everyone arrives at Kelly’s house at the same time – Kelly, Esperanza, and the police. Esperanza holds Kelly back while the police go in with guns drawn, but they come back out. They’re all coughing and waving their hands.

Next time, Brad threatens to kick Randal’s ass, Randal talks to Natalie, and Eddie says the party is just gettin’ started.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion, Part Three

We go back to the bunny. Kim never gave it to her grandson, and because it wasn’t given to her with the “right energy,” she gives it back to LisaR, who ends up leaving the stage. Kyle thinks Kim should explain how superstitious she is to Lisa, and Kim takes the roving bunny with her backstage.

She runs into LisaR, who’s coming back out. Lisa says it’s the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to her, and Kim is a sick woman. I agree that it’s pretty bad, and I don’t even like Lisa. Eileen comes back on stage and says it doesn’t look good. Kyle says nobody wants the bunny, but Andy does, for the clubhouse. He’s the worst.

LisaR strides back to the reunion circle, and says it was cruel and mean. Kim tries to justify her actions, and Lisa has an f-off sound effect thing, and keeps pushing the button on it. Kim says she was going to do it before, but she figured they’d both be at the reunion. So yeah, why not do it on national TV instead of in private? Lisa says she’s a sick woman, and Kim says she feels the same way about Lisa. Lisa says Kim wants to be on the show, and she’s her meal ticket, which is where she goes totally wrong. Even I think that’s stupid. Not that it excuses Kim’s behavior. Lisa accuses Kyle of condoning every rotten thing that Kim has done, and Kyle says it’s not like she has control over her, and she’s not apologizing for anything her sister does.

Dorit tells LisaR that she has a big mouth, and Lisa tells her to shut up, causing a moment of silence. Dorit tells Lisa that she goes for the jugular, and like usual when she can’t form real words, Lisa says that Dorit does too. Lisa says she speaks her truth, and Kyle says that doesn’t make it okay. She put Kyle in the worst position, when they’d never even had a fight. Lisa says she’s apologized. Lisa says Kyle says mean things about her lips, and I can’t believe that’s’ the best she can come up with. Andy moves on.

A viewer suggests the only reason Eden went after Kyle and Kim, is that she wanted to create a storyline for herself. Eden says she wasn’t the one who said those things, but agreed with it because of her own past. It was something she recognized and projected onto them.

Omg I can’t believe it. We go back to when the earth cooled, in the limousine, where Kyle talked about how Mauricio supported Kim like a second wife, because a viewer has asked if that wasn’t enabling. Kyle says that she believes enabling is turning a blind eye to the situation, and that’s never been the case with her. She has a wing of hair sticking out, and it’s all I can look at.

A viewer asks if LisaV thinks LisaR was acting when she said she didn’t remember saying anything about Kim and Kyle. Because LisaV knows all. LisaV says if she’d said something like that, she’d remember. Dorit says LisaR crucified her for not remembering a five-minute conversation. LisaR tells her to shut up again, and then says sorry. Another viewer asks Kyle if she thought LisaR really forgot. Lisa keeps repeating that she really didn’t remember. Eileen says that what Lisa said was wrong, but game night got weird because of Kim. We flash back, but I don’t see it that way. Eileen babbles, and tells Kim not to be rude, because she has something to say. She says Kim inserted herself in a conversation where she didn’t belong, and she has no idea what she’s talking about. I’m not sure Eileen knows what she’s talking about. I also hate how she hammers questions at someone, then talks over them when they try to answer. Eileen tells Kim that just because she’s obnoxious, doesn’t mean she’s right. She says that Kim attacked her and LisaR. LisaV says that what LisaR said was incredibly damaging, and LisaR says she apologized. She hasn’t said anything about Kim since, and thought they’d made amends. We flash back, and it looks that way to me. LisaR says it she sees that it’s not going to work, but that’s okay. She’s moved on.

And we’re moving on to the bag o’ pills. We flash back to LisaR saying she put Xanax in smoothies, pulling out her plastic bag, and Dorit repeating the story. Then telephone gets played with Eden, and we come full circle to the confrontations on the boat and the Hong Kong dinner. LisaR always comes off as crazy as a loon to me. Kyle acts like Eden started it. I get distracted by Dorit’s dress, because it has tiny chains hanging all over it. I love it so much. Dorit explains why she asked Eden about LisaR, and says she didn’t say that Lisa had a Xanax problem; LisaR created the story. LisaR says Dorit “makes her head crazy.” I have the feeling that doesn’t take much.

LisaR insists that Dorit kept talking about it. Lisa pulls out the bag of pills, and Andy asks what’s in there. It’s nothing exciting. Lisa says she takes Benadryl is for acid reflux, and I’ve never heard of such a thing. She tells Andy that she’s never really put Xanax in a smoothie, and Andy says she could use one. Erika says when you say sh*t, it becomes bigger than it is. She says it doesn’t make anybody look good; they’re all in the same boat, and she doesn’t understand why it keeps happening.

Andy asks about the coke thing. LisaR says she was just being honest. Dorit says she’s a mom, and Lisa went there for no reason. Lisa says it’s what she observed, and Dorit says she said it to hurt her. Kyle says she would have flipped out if it had been said about her. Andy asks why did everyone get up and where did they go? I find out the guy who got stuck at the table with Lisa is Elliot Mince. Lisa says that Dorit was told she needed a touch up, and everyone disappeared. I’m thinking they wanted to get away from Lisa, and maybe Elliot is deaf. Dorit says she doesn’t know what happened. It could have been a number of things, none of which is what Lisa insinuated. Andy asks if there were drugs at her party, and Dorit says of course not, it’s ridiculous. He asks if Lisa’s personality is induced in any way, and Lisa says she’s 100% Lisa.

Andy almost gets Kim and Eden off the stage, but Eileen interrupts, saying that Kim looks down on her because she’s a soap actress. Kim says she doesn’t, but she thinks Eileen is exaggerating things, and reality TV is different. Eileen asks if Kim has seen herself. Kim says she’s dramatic, but it’s real life drama. Eileen says she doesn’t talk about Kim that way. Kim repeats that this is real life, and Eileen says bye-bye, rude, bye-bye Kim, which makes her look pretty immature. Kim brings up Eileen’s support of LisaR, and Eileen says she thought it might have something to do with that. LisaV suggests that Eileen is supportive when LisaR is wrong, but Eileen and LisaR won’t hear of it.

Eden and Kim finally exit. LisaR claims she needs a Xanax, and walks offstage. What did Erika just say? She’s doing it to herself.

We go down LisaV Memory Lane. We go over her work for the dogs, and I try not to get all emotional. I love Lisa all over again. We also flash back to Max’s search for his birth parents. Andy asks how Lisa came to terms with that. She says that she felt more vulnerable in the beginning. She tells Andy that they found Max’s mother. Andy asks if he’s going to meet her, and Lisa thinks he should. He says he wants to thank her. She says if she was younger, she might feel threatened, because he could be taken away, but it’s still emotional. She says she wants to create a buffer in case it doesn’t work out the way they’re hoping. We move on to the condo that Lisa gave Max. A viewer wonders why she got it for him, since she promotes her kids making it on their own. She says that he’s a good kid who holds down a job, has been on his own for years, and asks for nothing, so she just wanted to do it. Seriously, I wouldn’t take up much space in her house if she wants to adopt me.

Andy talks about the dog meat trade, and asks if China has acknowledged our fight against it. Lisa says what’s important is to get the word out. Taiwan did recently outlaw the dog and cat meat trade, which is definitely progress, but it was before this was filmed. Eileen says she’s done a great thing, and Lisa thanks everyone for being supportive.

A viewer accuses LisaV of replacing Giggy with a younger, furrier Harrison. Lisa says Harrison was very needy and she probably over compensated, but the Gigster still reigns, and they’re best friends. Andy asks if it’s like Menudo at her house, and all of us laugh. We see an interview with Giggy. Too cute for words. Giggy!

We see LisaR’s nude selfie from Instagram. Thanks. Harry didn’t even know about it, but her daughters made her take it down. We look back on family time at Lisa’s house. They discuss Delilah’s new modeling career, and Lisa says Amelia is right on her heels. Andy stupidly wonders if it was awkward when Delilah did the same show as Gigi Hadid. Lisa says not at all, and talks about how lovely Gigi is and that Yolanda did a wonderful job. We find out that Harry watches all of the shows. She says he tells her she just can’t help herself, and she gets it from all sides.

Andy asks if there are any regrets. LisaR says she’ll never talk about Kim again. He asks Eileen what she has to say to her critics, and she says she always comes from a good place. Dorit says she wouldn’t have given Erika the underwear, and she’s learned about how it goes when something gets out there. Kyle says new people shift the dynamics, but she thinks they’re all good people, and it was a good experience. Andy asks LisaV what she’d do if someone tried to steal the crown, and Lisa says let them have it, adding that she’s had good relationships this season. I’m sure anything beats Brandi. Andy says that Erika revealed more than she had possibly planned on revealing, and Erika says no regrets. She hopes people see that she’s like everyone else inside. Andy brings up how she said everyone needs a little Erika Jayne, and asks who needs it the most. Erika says they all need triple-shots right now.

This helps Andy segue to the smoothie toast he’s prepared, and he asks LisaR for the bunny. She gives it to him for the clubhouse (where it was the bartender, as well as the secret word tonight). The smoothies have umbrellas in them. Andy says long live The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and everyone clinks glasses. Lisa says it’s better with a Xanax.

The end…for now.

April 23, 2017 – N’once Upon a Time & the End of a Feud

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

I didn’t see much TV today, and will have to go On Demand with Once Upon a Time, because I had the pleasure of going to a production of The Little Foxes by Lillian Hellman on Broadway with an old friend. (Thanks, Michael!) Stars Laura Linney and Cynthia Nixon alternated the female lead roles, and we saw Laura as Regina, and Cynthia as Birdie. I had wanted to see this having seen Laura on stage before in Les Liasons Dangereuses years ago. While I know she’s done a million films, I honestly couldn’t name one of them, but she blew me away on stage. She did not disappoint in this drama either – she took hold of the stage on commanded it. The rest of the cast was excellent as well, Richard Thomas especially surprised me. While I don’t dislike him, I’ve never been what I’d call a fan, but thought his portrayal of Horace was superb. The sets were incredibly impressive as well. If you’re interested, there’s more info here: https://www.manhattantheatreclub.com/2016-17-season/little-foxes/

LILLIAN HELLMAN’S THE LITTLE FOXES
Directed by Daniel Sullivan
With Laura Linney, Cynthia Nixon
Darren Goldstein, Michael McKean, Richard Thomas
David Alford, Michael Benz, Francesca Carpanini, Caroline Stefanie Clay, Charles Turner

This is also a good segue into the one thing I did watch. Bette Davis starred as Regina in the film version of The Little Foxes, and I got home just in time to catch the final chapter of Feud: Bette and Joan. The episode was titled, You mean all this time we could have been friends? referring to a line at the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? The careers and health of both stars are going downhill, BD wants nothing to do with Bette, and Joan has been left pretty much alone. One of the saddest moments of the previous episode was Mamacita finally leaving her, having had enough of her abuse. After the film disaster that was Trog (I actually remember seeing that in the movie theater), Joan retires totally, and Mamacita returns part-time. There was a heart-breaking fantasy sequence, where Joan (Susan Sarandon), Bette (Jessica Lange), Jack Warner (Stanley Tucci), and Hedda Hopper (Judy Davis) are playing cards. When Joan calls Mamacita to pour the champagne, we see that it’s all in her head. The takeaway I got, was that despite her animosity, Joan craved Bette’s friendship, and while Bette did respect her as an actress, she couldn’t be the friend that Joan wanted. The entire cast was fantastic, but special kudos to Dominic Burgess for doing a spot on Victor Buono.

Victor: Give us this day, our daily slice, but cut it thin and toast it twice. (The Fat Man’s Prayer)

Joan: Stars are like Christmas trees. After the lights go out, you sit there and watch the needles drop.

Bette: My mother told me to never say anything ill about the dead. Only good. Joan Crawford is dead? Good.

FuedBette&amp;Joan

April 21, 2017 – Carly Declares War, Camelot Crumbles & Don’t Call Ronda Fat

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Dante goes to Alexis’s place and Sam answers the door. He tells her that he wants to ask Alexis some follow-up questions.

Ava sees Julian in the interrogation room. He says the sooner she gets him out the better. She says the last time she was there, he refused to help her. She wants a good reason why she shouldn’t return the favor.

Elizabeth wonders what Jake is hiding, and if he’s really afraid of Jason.

Jason hopes this year is better than the last, and Sonny says it couldn’t be worse. He says as soon as Jax is gone, he can work on it. Jason asks why he thinks Jax would be going anywhere.

He thinks so because the immigration officer tells Jax his visa has been revoked. He says Jax was arrested for a crime of moral turpitude. He was alleged to be involved in organ trafficking, and that’s enough to start deportation proceedings. Jax tells Carly his attorney will clear it up, and goes with the officer. Carly says she’ll clear it up.

Jason says that Sonny did something, and he probably doesn’t want to know. Elizabeth calls and asks Jason to come over; something is up with Jake. Jason tells Sonny to be careful how he plays this thing with Carly, and don’t do something he can’t take back.

Julian tells Ava that he’s been running from their demented sister. Ava asks if he has any idea what he put her through. The only reason she’s still alive is that Dante arrested her, and the only person who knew the truth did nothing to stop it. Julian says Olivia was threatening his family, and what would she have done if it was Kiki? Ava flashes back to switching the pills. She says a Jerome does whatever they have to do to protect their own. Julian asks if she’s going to help him, and Scotty comes in. He says it’s good to see Julian among the living. He got him acquitted when he was facing the trifecta of felonies, and he’ll do it again.

Dante tells Sam that Julian confessed to holding Alexis hostage. Alexis overhears, and thinks about getting busy with Julian. Sam says she’ll get Alexis to the station, and Dante leaves. Alexis thanks Sam for the save. Sam says she’s not off the hook with her questions though, and asks what she and Julian did last night. Really?

Jason arrives at Elizabeth’s place. She tells him that Jake has been talking to Franco about his sessions. She shows Jason the timeline, saying that Jake left it at the studio. Jason asks if the boy in the drawing is supposed to be Jake, and that he must be hiding from the scarecrow. Elizabeth tells him about Jake being scared of him.

Sam doesn’t have a problem believing that Julian might kidnap Alexis, but wonders why he’d take her to a hotel room. She wants the truth. Kristina and Molly walk in. They’ve brought food and DVDs. Molly says it’s all about the Davis women today. Sam tells Alexis they’re not done with the conversation.

Scotty tells Ava she has to leave. Ava tells Julian that despite his recent disloyalty, she loves him.

Carly storms into Sonny’s house and accuses him of trying to have Jax deported.

Elizabeth says she and Jake ran into Franco at the hospital. She tells Jason about Jake not wanting them to see the scarecrow. Jake walks in.

Sam interrupts the Davis women’s viewing pleasure to tell everyone that Alexis has to make a statement at the station. Kristina says everyone knows what Julian did, and wonders why Alexis has to be put through it again. She says that Julian does whatever it takes to save himself.

Ava sees Dante at the station. They talk about Julian being alive  – Dante calling it the miracle they’ve all been waiting for – and Dante tells Ava she can get her stuff back from the robbery. He still wonders how Morgan’s pills ended up at The Floating Rib. Ava says it’s one of life’s mysteries, and Dante thinks Sonny won’t rest until he gets the truth.

Sonny tells Carly that unfortunately, Jax broke the law, so he can be deported. Carly says it’s all about payback, and asks if he stopped to think about Josslyn. He says they’re not going to hold Jax at some detention center; he’ll go back to Australia on a nice plane, and she can visit when she wants. Carly tells him that’s her daughters father, and if Jax suffers the consequences, so will Sonny, and believe her, they’ll be consequences.

Molly is worried about Alexis, but she says she’s fine. She tells them there’s more to the situation than they know. She says she’s confused, and Molly wonders if she’s defending Julian again. Alexis says his motives are complex. Molly says he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Alexis tells them that she’s more tired than she realized, and was hoping this was over. Sam asks the other girls to give Alexis some breathing room. They leave, and Alexis says she shouldn’t have said that. Sam asks because of Kristina or Julian. She tells Alexis that it’s probably easier to tell the truth, and that Julian didn’t hold her hostage. Alexis admits that he didn’t.

Scotty tells Julian that he shouldn’t have said he kidnapped Alexis. Julian says it doesn’t matter; all they have to do is question Alexis. Scotty says she has so many skeletons in her closet, he just has to pick one to discredit her. Julian tells him that Alexis has been hurt enough, and Scotty can’t use her in the defense. After He’s cleared, he’s leaving Port Charles. Scotty says as his attorney, he thinks Julian should take a plea bargain, and he’s going to spend a long time in Pentenville.

Carly wanted to take the high road, but Sonny took the first shot, so now it’s war. She says she’s going to win, and he says they’ll see. She tells him to enjoy his birthday – alone. She reminds him about last year and how they celebrated with the family, and how close they were. She says it’s amazing what a difference a year makes.

Elizabeth says Jason dropped by for a visit. She goes to get something from the kitchen, and Jason asks how school is. Jake says boring, and Jason talks about summer coming. He brings up the action figures and says what he discusses with Andre is private, but if there’s anything he wants to talk about, he can always talk to him. Jake says he knows, and Jason says he has the feeling he’s afraid of him. Jake says Jason isn’t the one he’s scared of. Jason asks who Jake is afraid of, but he sees Elizabeth. Jason says he’s afraid of someone, but it wasn’t him. Jason thinks he knows what’s going on.

Alexis tells Sam that when she saw the park photo, she went to the pier to find closure, but found Julian instead. She felt relieved, and went with him. When everyone showed up, he said she was his hostage so she wouldn’t be implicated. She has to live with that. Sam says she should bring Diane along when she makes her statement. She can confirm the lie, or implicate herself.

Julian says there must be something Scotty can do. Scotty says that Julian was only an accessory, and then he admitted to kidnapping Alexis all on his own. He has nothing up his sleeve, unless Julian wants to recant. Julian says he did what he did, and he’s the only one who should pay for it.

Dante visits Sonny. He gives him the bottle of pills. In what looks like a repurposed Twizzlers bag. Sonny asks if the case is closed, and Dante says as of this morning. They have zero leverage, since the robbers took a plea bargain. Sonny wonders how the pills ended up at the restaurant, and Dante says he does too. Sonny asks if there’s something Dante isn’t saying.

Scotty tells Ava that Julian is going to be the death of him. Ava says they have bigger problems, and that Dante was taunting her. Scotty says he took care of that, and she has nothing to worry about. Ava says whether there’s lithium or breath mints in it, Sonny will want to know why the pills were at The Floating Rib.

Sonny doesn’t understand how Morgan’s pills could be there six months later. Dante says it doesn’t seem likely. Sonny says that Carly was convinced there was something going on. She thought maybe Morgan wasn’t taking the medication, and they were going to get to the bottom of it. He says they were a great team, and it’s amazing how things change.

Carly finds Jax there when she gets home. She tells him that Sonny is the one who tipped them off. He says it doesn’t matter; they were within their rights to detain him until he goes home. They agreed to let him go, providing he leaves the country tonight and never returns.

Sam tells Scout she’s worried about her grandmother because she’s in love with Julian. She says normally loving someone would be okay, but she’s not sure about this.

Alexis gets to the station. She sees Julian. They stare at each other, making soap opera faces.

Carly tells Jax that it doesn’t make any sense; it wouldn’t hold up in court. He says there’s no case to argue. He’ll appeal, but it will take a long time. He wants her and Josslyn to come to Australia with him. I’m in.

Sonny says Morgan wrote in his journal that the pills weren’t working, and Carly wanted to know why. Then they could stop blaming themselves. Dante says Morgan was sick; there was nothing they could do to change that. Sonny says he should have seen what was going on from the beginning. Dante has to do police business. He tells Sonny happy birthday. Sonny looks at the bottle of pills. I swear there were more in it when Ava switched them.

Scotty says that Sonny will find medication in the bottle, and Ava asks where he got them. Scotty tells her a pharmacy where he has a friend. Ava asks what if the friend talks. Scotty says that Sonny will find lithium prescribed for Morgan in the bottle. Ava says there’s no reason for Sonny to look further.

Sonny makes a call. He needs to see someone about his son.

Elizabeth sits on the couch with Jake and Jason, showing Jake a photo album. They look at a picture of him as a baby and one of Elizabeth when she first met Jason. Elizabeth asks Jake if he recognizes someone, and he looks freaked out.

Tomorrow, Alexis makes her statement, Olivia-F visits Julian, and the Quartermaines can only protect Samira for so long.

👑 I watched the miniseries The Kennedys: After Camelot on Reelz, and it was excellent. The casting was spot on, and Katie Holmes is surprisingly good as Jackie. I absolutely loved the wardrobe and sets too, but there’s one gripe I had – the actresses’ foreheads. As I’m watching Ted Kennedy (Matthew Perry) talk to Joan (Kristen Hager) about running for president, all of a sudden, I’m thinking that she looks awfully youthful for what her age should be. Then I take a better look, and realize that the actress must be doing Botox. Now that I’ve noticed this, it’s like trying not to think about elephants, and I’m looking at all of their foreheads.

That being said, this was a wonderful trip down Kennedy Memory Lane. I love the time period, because I grew up on the fringes of it. I was quite small when all this was happening, but loved celebrity gossip early in life, and later on, lived in NYC during the same time period as Jackie and John, although we never crossed paths that I know of. The ending was like a knife in my heart, leaving me to wonder if the dream really did die when John did. Many people obviously put a lot of work into this miniseries, and I applaud their efforts.

Quotes of the Week

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.Albert Einstein

She’d change her name to “TV Listings” just to get it in the paper.Donald Sutherland as Bob Garvin in Disclosure

I swear to God, if anyone calls me fat one more time in my life, I’m going to kill them. — Ronda Rousey, the New York Times, October 2015

PeaceLoveEarth

April 19, 2017 – A Painting Conundrum, Tyler Tuesday & Beverly Hills Reunions On

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We revisit Tracy’s unveiling of the clown picture. Tracy realizes that Larry wasn’t around during the fire drill. That’s because he was busy stealing the painting. He kisses it, and says that when Tracy tries to screw him out of a deal, she just ends up screwing herself. I’m not feeling the new Larry, and wish they’d bring back the previous actor.

Jake sees Franco at the hospital, and asks if he’s back to work. Franco says not yet, and finds out that Jake is there to see Andre. Franco shows him a picture of the latest drawing on the timeline, and asks if he knows how it got into his studio.

At the docks, Jason tells Sam that Julian is desperate to get out of town. Sam wonders what Julian would do to Alexis if she ran into him. Well…

Alexis and Julian are getting busy.

Tracy says every time Larry darkens her doorstep, she has to pay, and he’s not getting away with it. The others agree, and split up to look for Larry.

Jake insists he didn’t draw on the timeline, and it must have been one of his brothers. Franco wonders which one could have gotten into his studio. He asks who Jake thinks the boy in the picture is, and he says he doesn’t know. Franco asks if there’s anything he wants to talk about. Jake tells him not to tell anyone, especially his parents. Elizabeth comes up the stairs, telling Jake not to run off like that.

Jason finds Hooper on the docks. He says that he and Sam have some questions.

Alexis tells Julian that when she turned around on the bridge, he was gone. He says Olivia-J shot him, but even though it bled a lot, it wasn’t serious. He was the phantom stalking her, and apologizes for scaring her. She says she read the letter. He wishes he hadn’t taken so long to tell her the truth. He tells her that he’s sorry. She says she thought he was gone. He says he’s here now, and he’s never going to leave her.

On the grounds of the Quartermaine estate, Larry talks to someone on the phone about storing the painting. He literally runs into a strange girl, and drops it. It’s the girl from the monastery, and he asks who she is. Ned, Laura, and Dillon run up. Larry blames the girl for stealing the painting, but they don’t buy it. Ned grabs Larry, and the painting, and gives him the bum’s rush back to the house.

Laura thanks the girl for stopping Larry. She introduces herself as Samira Adine, and Laura asks what brought her there. She’s there to see Tracy.

Tracy tells Larry he’s despicable. Larry says that he at least deserves a finder’s fee, and Tracy says he’s lucky she’s not calling the police. Tracy says where were we, and Monica says hogging the happy couple’s spotlight. Tracy unveils the real painting. She says it was painted by a renaissance painter, and Monica apologizes, saying it’s beautiful. Ned says the resemblance is striking. He tells Tracy that her father loved her.

Elizabeth tells Jake that he’s not in trouble, but Andre is waiting for him, and he leaves. She tells Franco she doesn’t know if she’s doing the right thing. Whenever she tries to get Jake to open up about the island, he pulls away. She’d feel less useless as a mother if she knew what she was doing was right. Franco shows her the picture of the timeline and what Jake added.

Hooper tells Sam and Jason that if he sells out clients, he’s out of business. Jason says if Sonny gets mad, he’ll be out of business. Sam tells him that they’re good friends with Sonny, and asks why he was meeting Julian.

Alexis thought Hooper was helping Julian, and Julian says that was the plan. He wondered what she’d do if she found out he was alive, and now he knows. He thought they might still have a future. She tells him that he can’t stay in Port Charles. He suggests running away together. They’ll get word back eventually, and the kids will understand. They can start over. No right side or wrong side; just the two of them together. Alexis says he misunderstood what happened tonight. It’s not a fresh start. It’s good-by.

Hooper tells Jason and Sam that Julian never showed up. Sam asks if there was a woman with Julian when Hooper met with him, but Hooper says no. He tells them that if Julian makes contact, he’ll call. He leaves, and Jason tells Sam that if Alexis went with him, it was probably willingly.

Alexis says she understands why Julian has to disappear, but she’s not going. He says they love each other, and she says he held a knife to her throat. I hate when that happens. It’s such a buzzkill.  Julian says it’s the biggest regret of his life, and she knows why he did it. Alexis says that she knows how she felt, and can’t get past it. She says it’s not just about Olivia-J forcing him to do her bidding; it’s what he did before that. She asks if it was his intention to hurt Duke and Carrrlos. Julian says he loves her, and she tells him it doesn’t mean anything; there are two sides to him. He tells her that they both would stand by her, which is a pretty clever comeback. She says it’s only a matter of time before someone else gets hurt, and she’s not doing it. He says it wasn’t all bad, and she says it wasn’t, but it was built on the hope that the better side of him would win. He asks about tonight. She says she just wanted to remember. He promises it can always be like that, but she says he can’t promise that. She needs closure, and needs him to give it to her.

Tracy tells Ned to get Larry out. Tracy asks Monica if she can replace the wall-hanging now, but Monica thinks the painting should go in the front hall. Laura and Samira come in, and Ned says Samira is the one who caught Larry. Samira says she’s traveled a long way from Turkey to see Tracy. Tracy wonders how Samira tracked her down, and Samira says the monks gave her the information. The painting has to be returned. Tracy says she explained everything to the monks, and she’s willing to make another donation, but she’s not parting with the painting. Samira says her daughter’s life depends on it.

Franco tells Elizabeth what Jake said about the timeline. She says it’s obviously something he witnessed. Franco isn’t sure if it’s literal. Elizabeth thanks him, and says she’ll talk to Andre. Jake sees them hugging. Franco has the phone in his hand, and Jake asks if he showed Elizabeth his picture. Franco says she needs to know, and Jake runs away.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think finding the scarf is an accident, and isn’t going to allow history to keep repeating. The only way to keep Julian away is to find him and send him to prison. Sam remembers an app she has that tracks down friends, and finds Alexis’s location. She says they have to call the police.

Julian tells Alexis that the only life worth living is one with her in it. She says she wishes she could say the same thing. Her feelings re powerful, and he caused so much heartache. She doesn’t want any more pain, and it’s the only place this will lead. He says he loves her, and he’ll honor her wishes. He’s leaving town, and he’ll never see her again. He asks her to just give him tonight, and they start getting busy again.

Larry tells Ned that all’s right with the world. Ned says hardly. Larry swiped the painting like it was a piece of jewelry he could pawn. Larry suggests they not discuss it in mixed company, since Olivia-F is with Ned. Ned says Olivia is his family, which is more than he can say for Larry. Larry wants to let bygones be bygones. He says Tracy will forget about it; she’s used to his schemes, and it’s no reason to kick him out. Ned says he’s no longer welcome, and he’s disinvited to the wedding. Larry says he’s not going anywhere, and sooner or later Ned will miss him. Ned doubts it.

Tracy asks Samira for ID. She says it looks correct, but could have been forged. Laura looks at the emergency visa. She notes that it’s for Virginia. Samira explains that some refugees helped her. She tells them about men kidnapping her daughter. Dillon thinks it sounds like human trafficking. Laura realizes that Samira was the one who was crying at the monastery. Samira says that she went to the monks for help, and they wanted to use the painting to bargain.

Dillon wants Tracy to give her the painting. Tracy wants to think about it because she’s hesitant to believe the story. Monica says if the monks believe the story, maybe they can just give them the money. Tracy says they could all end up in jail. Samira says if she took the painting, no money would change hands.

Ned tells Olivia-F that he wonders how he sprang from the same gene pool as Larry. She says good parenting has nothing to do with DNA, and he proves that with Leo. Ned says with Julian gone, he wants to be there for Leo. He asks if the offer is still on the table to adopt Leo. It is.

Alexis has to leave. Julian tells her to take care of Sam and Lucas, and to take care of herself. A lot of people love her, and if she wants a drink, call them. She tells him to be careful. They’re about to kiss, and the police bust in, along with Jason and Sam.

Tracy says that customs knows she has the painting. If it ends up as currency, she’ll get in trouble. She suggests Laura get ahold of Robert, and find out the details. Monica says they’ll get some food and make up a room for Samira. Laura says she’ll call Robert, but she thinks Samira is telling the truth, and Tracy might be the only one who can help.

Elizabeth and Franco can’t find Jake. Elizabeth says this is how it started. Franco tells her to check Andre’s office. He sees sneakers next to a cart, and finds Jake hiding. Jake tells him to go away. Franco says he gets it; he wouldn’t want to talk to him either, but his mom is worried. Jake doesn’t want them knowing anything else about the scarecrow.

Julian says Alexis is his hostage. BTW, this place is called the Rendezvous Motel. Very classy. Julian is arrested. He and Alexis stare at each other.

Samira asks Tracy to believe her. Tracy says painting means a lot to her. Samira shows her a journal and a ring. Tracy says her father had a ring like this. She opens the journal, and sees Edward’s handwriting. She finds a picture of Lila. She asks where Samira got this. Samira says she got them from her mother. Tracy’s father left them to her, as they’d been friends. She says she’s telling the truth. Monica takes her upstairs.

Tracy talks to the painting like it’s Edward. She says, she has blue eyes, and not to do this to her.

Tomorrow, Hayden can’t make any promises, Tracy isn’t giving up her father’s legacy, and Michael tells Sonny to leave Port Charles.

If Loving You is Wrong

Kelly finds out that Justice is in the car with Travis. She tells her assistant to call the police. Doesn’t that kid have a GPS on his phone? Kelly wants to talk to Travis, who tells her it’s illegal to talk on the phone and drive. She asks where he’s taking Justice, but he pretends like he can’t hear her. He tells her he’s hanging up, and that Justice loves her.

Kelly gets on the phone with Officer Rick. She tells him that Travis has her son. Rick takes down whatever information she has, which isn’t much. He gives another officer the phone number, and has him run a trace on Justice’s phone. Kelly keeps repeating, “Why is he doing this?”

Rick puts an APB out on Travis’s car. Esperanza asks what’s going on. Kelly calls her and tells her about Travis taking Justice. Esperanza says she’ll call her back. I don’t blame Esperanza for being frustrated all the time when she has to find out what emergencies are going on from neighbors. Kelly tries to get Justice back on the phone, but gets voicemail. Justice asks Travis where they are. Kelly tries calling him, but call, rinse, repeat.

Brad pretends to work. Eddie strolls in. He asks if Alex told him what happened before he got there. Brad says no, and Eddie says he has to hear it. He tells Brad about finding Alex with Andrew, and how she took off in the squad car. He claims he did everything he could to stop her. He wonders why Brad saved the baby, and Brad says it’s an innocent baby. Eddie says it’s a disgrace to him. He can’t figure out what’s going on, and Brad says that’s because he doesn’t have a heart. Eddie says Brad is his best friend and he can help him. They have Alex where they want her. If he spills the beans, she’ll go to jail. Brad can make her do anything he wants. Brad says he’s had enough. Eddie tells him it’s no time to get soft, but Brad says he’s done with it. He tells Eddie that Alex has suffered enough, and he’s done. Eddie says what about Brad’s suffering, and Brad tells him to leave. Eddie says he’ll go, but the soldier he knew wouldn’t let himself become a mockery. When his best friend comes back, call, but until then, he’s out.

Marcie brings flowers to Louise. She asks what the doctor said, and Louise says she’s under observation. Marcie wants Louise out of there, and Louise wants out too. They hug, and Louise thinks Marcie has a temperature. Marcie says she’s fine. They talk about Randal. Marcie says she stayed as far away as possible, but Louise says her heart didn’t. Marci calls Randal a bully, and says she wants nothing to do with him. She can love and worry about him, but not like him.

She starts to tell Louise something, and Randal comes in. He tells Louise how angry he is with Alex. Louise tells him to say hello to Marcie. Marcie wants to go; she says she can’t breathe. He asks if she’s sucking all the air out of Brad, and she says every chance she gets. She tells Louise she’ll be back. Randal calls her a slut, and she says she’s using the tricks he taught her. She leaves, and Louise tries to chastise Randal, but he doesn’t want to hear it.

Randal tells Louise that Alex said the child wasn’t his. Louise asks if he’s sure it is. Randal says Alex told the judge that she had multiple partners. Louise says, chalk one up for the white girl. Ha-ha! She says if a woman will cheat on her husband, why wouldn’t she cheat on her boyfriend? Randal insists it was only him, and that’s his son. Louise tells him that Alex let her see the baby, and tells Randal about talking to Alex. She says he could be Randal’s son, and Randal says no way he’s not. Louise thinks it’s foolish and naïve for Randal to think he’s the only one. He says the only other Black man that Alex knows is the mailman. Louise says it wouldn’t be the first time a housewife hooked up with a mailman, and Randal says he’s like, 200 years old.

Randal asks what Marcie wanted, and Louise says he ran her out before she could say. He asks if he can get Louise anything. She says peace, quiet, and time alone. She tells Randal he wears her out, and to go home. She tells him to check on the mailman. Ha-ha! I love Louise.

Diane shows up at Kelly’s office while she’s on the phone. Kelly says now is not the time. Diane wonders how she’s working around money, considering her past, and asks if they know her background. Kelly says she can’t afford to lose her job, and Diane suggests they talk then. Kelly asks Diane what she wants. Diane wants a key, since her son is getting out soon. Kelly says she needs time to talk to her son and explain things. Diane offers to talk to him, and Kelly wigs out a little bit. Diane asks if Kelly knows what it’s like to not know where her son is and what he’s doing. Kelly says more than Diane knows. Diane asks if Kelly understands about a mother wanting to protect her son. She wants the key. Kelly gives it to her.

Joey wants out of the hospital. Natalie is surprised he hasn’t been kicked out, but doesn’t think he’s ready to go. She says he’s barely walking, and will need rehab. He says he can walk and she asks him to show her. He can’t, and she says he’s not some superhero. He says he will be getting out. Natalie tells him that he has physical therapy today.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Mr. Kim. Joey asks about Faun, and he says she’s home and healing. Natalie says she knows he’s upset that they were together, but he says he’s not. He thanks Joey for saving her life. He says if Joey hadn’t had a gun, he doesn’t know what would have happened. He owes Joey. Joey says another guy is dead because of him. Mr., Kim offers Joey his job back, and leaves them to their family time.

Joey says that was crazy. Natalie says she’ll be back. She sees Mr. Kim in the hallway. She asks if he paid Joey’s hospital bills. He didn’t, and she’s wondering why they’re letting Joey stay there when they have no insurance. Mr. Kim is surprised they don’t have any, because he’s under the mistaken impression that it’s actually affordable. Natalie goes back into Joey’s room, and Joey asks what she said to Mr. Kim. She’s saved by the phone ringing. Lushion says he needs her help. He tells her to come to the house. She says she’s on her way. She tells Joey to try to walk.

Alex burns dinner. She tells the kids she’ll take them out. They ask how they’re getting there, and she says she’ll call a cab. Peter asks where the car is, and she says she had an accident. Paisley asks about the baby, and she tells them to stop asking questions. She apologizes for being snippy. Paisley asks if she’s okay. She tells them to get ready, and tells Peter to ask Kelly if she can borrow her car. The kids go upstairs, and Alex cries.

Lushion stops by and asks if he can borrow candles. Alex invites him in, and creepy Randal watches from his porch. Lushion asks if everything is okay, and Alex says she burned dinner. She looks for the candles and gives him some really nice ombre ones. He says he wants to surprise Natalie, and tells Alex not to let her know. He says it feels good to borrow from neighbors. He says he knows what Alex is going through, and mentions Randal pressing charges. Alex asks if she can go to jail for what her parents did. Lushion says she had nothing to do with it…right? He asks if she saw Andrew, and she says he picked her up after she wrecked her car. Lushion asks if Andrew took her to her parents, but the kids come down and interrupt the conversation. Lushion says they can borrow his car, but Alex says they’ll just walk to the deli. Paisley says she doesn’t like deli food – like no kid ever said – and Alex says they’ll get some fresh air. Lushion thanks her and leaves. She follows with the kids. Creepy Randal is still in the same position he was when Lushion arrived, and quietly calls Alex a bitch.

Both Pete and Joey are in physical therapy. Pete is walking a little, and Joey says he needs a break. Pete introduces himself to Joey. They discover they were both shot. Pete says he was an innocent bystander, and Joey says he’s a cop in Maxine. Pete plays along, asking Joey how long he’s been a cop, and Joey says years. Pete ask if he was shot in the line of duty. Joey makes up a story, saying his back-up was late. Pete asks who it was and Joey says a guy named Lushion. He says Lushion is way too old to be a cop, and was probably out getting doughnuts. Pete asks what he called in when he got shot. Joey says 187 and even I know that’s incorrect. Pete points that out.

Some cops bust in to arrest Joey for violating probation. They drag him out of his chair, saying he can go to the prison hospital. Joey is yelling, and the doctor tries to intervene, but they cart Joey away.

Next time, Randal confronts Alex, Kelley’s ex says that he loves her, and Alex comes on to Randal, totally creeping me out.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Reunion Part Two

We just jump right in. Erika says she didn’t like the way PK asked if she’s for sale. He’s defensive of Dorit, but Erika says her beef is with him. Andy says she’d claimed to be over it, and LisaV suggests having a sense of humor. A viewer asks if LisaV has forgiven Erika for her accusing her of sniping from the sidelines, and we see a clip of Erika talking to someone who’s no longer on the show, it was so long ago. Lisa says she thought Erika was relaxed with her nudity, and we flash back to some flashes. Kyle says it wasn’t funny because Erika wasn’t in on the joke. A viewer suggests Kyle could have intervened, and Kyle says she told Dorit she didn’t think it would go well. She and LisaV get in a small argument. They both talk at once, so who knows what it’s about? Kyle tells Lisa not to turn things around, and that she wasn’t there.

LisaR asks why Dorit doesn’t just apologize. Because LisaR only listens to herself. Dorit has apologized over and over. Andy says he was surprised that Erika didn’t tell Tom right away, and asks how she approached him about it. She says she explained how the story was going to pan out, and he gets it, which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Erika implies that Dorit drug her through the mud. Andy asks PK how he felt about LisaR asking if Dorit trusted him, but he just rolled with it. Lisa says she’s sorry for that. PK apologizes for the joke he made, but says he doesn’t owe an apology to Tom.

Dorit says she doesn’t know how many times she can say sorry. Erika says she wasn’t the one who wouldn’t let it go. Dorit says everyone was still joking about it. She points out that Andy just did when they sat down. PK says he’s heard all their insults, and all he did was make a bad joke. Please, PK, don’t say it’s not like you killed her child.

Since he can’t leave it alone, Andy brings up PK saying that Erika should concentrate on the deep-rooted problems in her marriage. Erika says he doesn’t even know her, but LisaR keeps interjecting, and PK says he seems to be discussing Erika with Lisa. Lisa says that he claimed she was unhinged and maybe had a drug problem. He says his first experience with her was at a dinner he thought went fabulous, and he can’t believe she could leave such a great evening, then say there were bad intentions. Lisa deflects, saying that Dorit didn’t remember the conversation they had about Eileen’s father passing away. Huh? Andy interjects, asking why Lisa said that the people at dinner left to “blow some rails.” I guess he thinks he sounds hip. Lisa says she’d gotten to a point that she’d had it with the Xanax thing. Dorit says she never said Lisa had a problem, but Lisa went after her with a preposterous accusation. PK says he’s never done coke, and the suggestion was ridiculous. LisaV says it’s a damaging thing to say, and thinks it was just retaliation. LisaR insists that’s what she observed. PK says you don’t have to be honest, if it’s not factual, which is another way of saying what I always do, that these women tend to hide their animosity behind the guise of honesty. Andy says fake news is all the rage. Because he’s so Andy.

LisaR talks about the inappropriate stuff said by PK after the confrontation at LisaV’s party, and that he should have let it go. PK admits that they were being naughty. Dorit came back distraught, and he felt that the mean girls had bullied his wife. His emotions were running high, and he’d had a few drinks. I’m with him here. Both he and Ken were inappropriate, but they were just letting off steam privately. LisaR says if she’d said something, it would be different, and PK says that she’s said a million things that she’s apologized for. There’s no question that he was upset. He says that he did walk away from the confrontation, because none of the other husbands were there, and Dorit says Erika is the one who invited him into the conversation.

PK tells Erika she’s not nice, and she tells him to get the f out of here. She says it’s easy to apologize in hindsight, and it’s fine. Andy asks if it really is, and she says they have to start over and they’ll see.

We see a montage of the Beverly Hills double air kiss greeting, which is also a chance to look over some past fashion. Kyle says she was sometimes embarrassed by the hellos. We see the various careers and projects the women have going on. Erika hits the nail on the head saying, busy girls. They talk about Erika performing at Christina Aguilera’s birthday party. Everyone promotes their whatever. We find out Kyle’s show was picked up, but she won’t be on it personally. Erika is also coming back to The Young and the Restless. Erika was partly named after Erika Kane from All My Children, and we see part of a talk show interview where she met Susan Lucci. Dorit talks about the many businesses that she and PK are involved with. She’s encouraged by the other women to continue with designing clothing, and having her own thing going apart from PK.

Kim and Eden join the group. We see a picture of Kim’s grandson, who’s wearing one of those terrycloth hoodies with animal ears and looks adorable. We also see a picture of Kim on a date with Donald Trump. Andy suggests Kim could have been the First Lady, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. We flash back to scenes with Eden. We see many awkward hugs. Even Eden has to laugh. She’s wearing some fabulous fringe earrings that I probably can’t afford, and explains about the long hugs breaking the introduction energy, and that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

LisaV talks about having known Vidal Sassoon, but says she’d never met Eden. I remember liking his jean brand. Eden has been busy on Twitter shading Kyle. Eden says in watching the show, she saw how mean Kyle was. Kyle asks her to put herself in her shoes. She thought they were cool, then Eden said she was cold and distant in her interview. She adds that Eden ambushed her with questions about alcoholism right off the bat.

Andy brings up Eden and LisaR becoming fast friends, and how that changed, and we see clips. Including the one where Lisa said that Kim was close to death. It’s all worth watching to see LisaV’s sparkly earrings when she told Kyle what Eden had said. Ooh, Eden’s ballerina outfit at LisaV’s party is pretty good too. Andy reads viewer questions. Eden explains that she was overwhelmed in meeting Kim, and couldn’t not stick her nose where it didn’t belong. She doesn’t say it quite like that, but that’s my translation. Andy asks what Eden thought was wrong, and Eden says she felt nervous energy. Kim suggests when she feels that, to respect people’s spaces. She says they could have been friends, but instead of going to the source, Eden just repeated what LisaR had said and badgered Kyle. Kim says that Eden shouldn’t have been taking her inventory, and Eden tells Kim not to tell her how to work a program. Well, if part of the program is not taking anyone else’s inventory, then Kim has a right to point that out.

Andy asks the million-dollar question – why the blip did LisaR say what she did about Kim not being sober and close to death? Kim suggests that she doesn’t remember. Lisa says it was after game night. We flash back to their tiff. Kim says that Lisa lies, cries, and denies, and that it was unbelievable to watch. She says that Lisa has a huge heart, and she does like being around her. Lisa says they’ve made amends since then, and have moved on. Kim has big hopes. Andy asks about the bunny that Lisa gifted Kim’s grandson with. Here’s where it gets confusing.

Kim has brought said bunny, still in the wrapper. She didn’t give it to her grandson, because she didn’t feel that it had good energy. She gives it back to LisaR, and tells her when she’s in a better place, maybe she can give it back to her. This is the stupidest, meanest thing ever. Kim says she’s all about energy and being positive. Eden asks if she wants a crystal for healing, and Kim says she is healed. Kim says that Lisa might be better off giving it to someone else. Lisa starts crying, and Eileen wonders why Kim chose to do this at the reunion. Kim says she doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not with LisaR. Andy asks Lisa what she’s thinking. She says she doesn’t need to say anything; she gets it loud and clear. Andy is confused, since he thought they were in a good place, but Kim says she doesn’t know if she’s ready to be Lisa’s friend. Lisa says it’s okay. She’s forgiven herself, and she’s okay with that. Kyle interjects that Kim is like that, but she sees why Lisa feels badly. Lisa says Harry thought it was a good idea to give Kim the gift, even though she had second thoughts. Kim says maybe it’s good that she feels badly, since she hurt Kim.

LisaR says she has to leave the stage for a moment. Eileen follows. Eileen says that it was a calculated move, trying to demean and hurt Lisa, when Lisa was just being nice. Lisa says she’s good because she has a good life. They regroup.

Dorit says it’s not like LisaR is just the victim. Kyle tells Kim to go back and explain to LisaR how superstitious she is. Yeah. More like yearning for attention. LisaR is an idiot, but this is nasty.

Eileen says it just shows where she’s at, and LisaR says Kim showed her true colors.

Kim goes backstage with the bunny. It’s like some bizarro world version of Fatal Attraction.

Next time – the Reunion, part three – Dorit tells LisaR she has a big mouth, the bag of pills is revealed, and Kim accuses Eileen of making faces (like no one else does that). If anyone deserve a four-part reunion, it’s these girls, but I think that three is it with this one.